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#incorrect quotes thor odinson
incorrectquotesmcu · 29 days
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Steve, coming out of the closet: I don’t like… women.
Tony, mouth agape:
Thor: yoU ARE A MISOGYNIST?!
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romanoffshouse · 13 days
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Peter: Heyyo!
Wanda: Heyyyyyy!
Thor: Greetings, humans from earth.
Natasha: Three kinds of people.
Yelena: I want Mac and Cheese.
Natasha: Four kinds of people.
Tony: WHAT’S UP IDIOTS?
Natasha: Five kinds of people.
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midastouch013 · 2 months
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Thor: I have a new game for thy mortals.. it's called "Lift Mjolnir"
Natasha: Because nothing builds teamwork like a bunch of males with fragile egos trying to lift an enchanted thing.
Y/N: I'm, in but can we make it a thumb war instead?
Natasha: smacks head And then there's her
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bitchystxrk3000 · 6 months
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Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Thor, give me your credit card.
Thor: Here.
Loki, pocketing it: Thanks. Y/N, kick down the door.
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super-marvel-dc · 1 year
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*Loki, Y/N and Thor watching Odin disappear into the wind*
Y/N: *Starts coughing*
Loki: *Concerned* are you all right?
Thor: Are you crying? It's o-
Y/N: I think I was standing in the way of your father and I accidentally snorted some of him.
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eatlembasbread · 1 month
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Thor: if I was a gardener, I'd put our two-lips together
Bruce: Awww babe <3
Tony: If I was a gardener, you'd be my hoe
Steve: thanks...I guess
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lovelyinspiration1463 · 9 months
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Thor: I was once arrested for being too cool.
Loki: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
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*when they’re kids*
Loki: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?
Thor: All the time.
Loki: Then you should be used to it by now.
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loki-stuff · 2 months
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Being: i’m gonna kill you!
Loki: oh really? how original. i’ve died so many times my gravestone says BRB instead of RIP on it
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ironrad · 1 year
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Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:
Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound
Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…
Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…
Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-
Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.
Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…
Bucky whispering: …Peter.
Sam: Why did you whisper that?
Bucky: He’s always listening.
Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.
Bucky: Hey-
Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-
Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-
Steve: Language.
Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.
Happy: Peter and Tony.
Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.
Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:
Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.
Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.
The Avengers watching back the footage:
Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.
Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 8 days
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Steve, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Thor: Yeah, sure.
[A few minutes later]
Thor: Here you go.
Steve:
Thor:
Tony: Why am I here?
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romanoffshouse · 2 months
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Thor: Didn't you die?
Loki: That was weeks ago. Things change.
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bitchystxrk3000 · 3 months
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Thor: I put the pun in punishment.
Ned: I put the top in unstoppable.
Peter: I put the cute in execute.
Y/N: I put the sexy in dyslexia.
MJ: I put the ass in class.
Loki: I put the D in Y/N.
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wandas6-gf · 1 year
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Y/N: I accidentally ate Thor’s pop tarts, how long do you think I have to live?
Natasha: Ten.
Y/N: Ten what?
Natasha: Nine.
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Tony: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Tony: Core-ean Thor: The center of the earth is around 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Clint: Core-ean.
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fictionaltrvlr · 6 months
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*Thor & Loki being Morgan’s favorite uncles*
Thor: You’re beautiful and capable of great things!
Loki: Like murder
Thor: Don’t do that though
Loki: Unless it’s completely necessary
Thor:
Thor: Sure.
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