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#incorrect quotes
incorrectdaedra · 4 minutes ago
Mortal: "I-I'm sorry, I'm sure your dog was a good boy."
Clavicus Vile: "I murdered my dog!"
Mortal: "Oh, well then I'm sure your dog was a total prick."
Clavicus Vile: "How dare you talk about my dog like that!"
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snapdragoncrown · 6 minutes ago
Incorrect quotes post!!
Katarina: Petrya, can I talk to you for a second?
Petrya: yeah what's up? Lemme guess. You and Cassius are have problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss.
Katarina: what? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.
Nikita: how did none of you hear what I just said?
Cassius: I've been zoned out for the past 2 and a half hours.
Katarina: I got distracted about halfway through.
Petyra: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Nikita: everyone, synchronize your watches.
Katarina: I don't know how to do that
Petrya: I don't wear a watch
Cassius: Time is a construct
Petrya: Katarina, I'm sad.
Katarina: *Hold out arms for a hug* it's going to be okay.
Nikita: Cassius, I'm sad
Cassius, nodding: Mood
Katarina: Dammit, Cassius!
Cassius: What?! it wasn't me!
Katarina: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Petrya!
Petrya: Wasn't me either.
Katarina: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Nikita: *whistles*
Cassius: If you had to choose between Katarina and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Petrya: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Katarina: Petrya!
Cassius: 63 cents.
Petrya: I'll take the money.
Katarina: PETRYA!!!
I tag whoever sees this post and wants to do it
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(mollymauk): do you want to know your gay name?
(caleb): name?
(mollymauk): yeah, it’s your first name-
(caleb): haha. very funny mollymauk-
(mollymauk): *gets down on one knee* and my last name.
(caleb): ........oh--oh my god.
31 notes · View notes
ivyprism · 10 minutes ago
"Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make."
Edge at one point dealing with his alternate selves.
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The Red Prince: I’ll worry about that bridge when I get to it
Lohse: I think maybe you should worry about it before then
The Red Prince: If I worried about a fraction of the stuff I should be worried about, I would never get anything done
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incorrectgmw · 10 minutes ago
Riley: Look at me, being all spontaneous!
Riley: I should plan to do this more often.
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fereality-indy · 11 minutes ago
Reef Humor
Melissa: If corals get stressed, they die. So if I was a coral, I'd already be dead Milo: What do corals get stressed about anyway? Zack: Current events Melissa: 🤭 Milo: Ooh- I sea
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Some guy: Hey I think you're pretty cute would you want to go out with me sometime?
Andy: Pretty cute?
Andy: I'm a goddess.
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Amanda: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Jamie: You’re a hazard to society
Adam: And a coward, do twenty
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chiafett · 11 minutes ago
Rex, at some point: All I use my captain's powers for is asking for water breaks.
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addicted-to-his-knife · 11 minutes ago
Submitted by anon <3
Graves: Shilo.
Shilo: *starts crying silently*
Graves: Oh, what's wrong?
Shilo: My dad used to call me Shilo.
Graves: Yeah, because that's your fucking name.
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drei-satzzeichen · 11 minutes ago
Bob: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Justus: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.
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thekingofkeepers · 11 minutes ago
Genda: Can you do me a favor?
Sakuma: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for you
Genda: Cool, can you do the dishes?
Sakuma: No
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incorrect-belgariad · 11 minutes ago
Durnik: Do you ever have that feeling where you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?
Polgara: That’s called arrhythmia.
Durnik: I get that feeling every time I look at yo-
Polgara: That’s a very serious problem, you can die from it.
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radnewspaper · 11 minutes ago
Mammon: Why are you always like this when you lose?
Satan: I’m not!
Asmodeus: What about The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1095?
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joyfulpeanutsworld · 11 minutes ago
Alex: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Lena: I'm a knife.
Kara, from across the room: She is the little spoon.
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kogetanotenshi · 11 minutes ago
Kin'u, about Gyokuto: I know she's having a miserable time. We have twin telepathy. It's like my brain is receiving phone calls from him.
Miroku: Well, you have a bad connection, hang up.
Kin'u: Nu-uh, I can sense these things. Remember that time whe she broke her arm and I felt it?
Miroku: That’s because you landed on her arm and broke it.
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scourge-epic-ness · 11 minutes ago
*Yugo and Dally are trying to hide the eliacube*
Dally: You can’t come in!
Eva: Why not?
Dally: Because.. um... Yugo’s naked!
Yugo, whispering: what????
Dally: I couldn’t tell her I was naked she’s allowed to see me naked!
Yugo: Why does anybody have to be naked??????
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wrasslin-incorrect-quotes · 11 minutes ago
Darby: Can’t die if you never felt alive in the first place
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