#black widow x reader
Natasha: What’s the matter, Tony?
Tony: I have this headache that comes and goes.
Steve, walking into the room: Morning, everyone!
Tony: There it is again.
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, violence, gun use (please message if you think I need to add any more!)
TAG LIST: @chicken-wang09 @ima-gi--na-tion @severepeanutartisanhands @madamvirgo @wickedmuses @ali-lie @madamevirgo
For previous chapters please see my pinned post!
This has not been proof read, please be kind!
Gunshots where going off all around you, but all you could do was run. You had nothing to protect yourself with, not even a fucking stick for Christ sake. There was banging and crashing all around you, as if the whole building was falling in on itself. You needed to find Natasha.
As if the lord above where listening to you, Nat came running from the other end of the hallway you were in, spreading a smile across your face that was quickly dropped when you saw what she was running from. The Hulk. The fucking Incredible Hulk. In his state of rage, he was barging through everything, literal walls breaking down in his wake, nothing stopping him, nothing slowing him down. You stopped and pushed yourself up against a door, waiting for the right moment. Just as Natasha was opposite, you dragged her towards you, pushing the door open and falling in a ball of limbs into the room behind. It took her a second to recover, picking herself up on her elbows to look at you, breathing heavy and eyes wide with terror.
“If you tell anyone about the state I’m in, I’ll have to end you myself.” She joked, making you let out a breathy chuckle. Was she seriously joking at a time like this?
“What’s going on?”
“Clint and Selvig, they’re under Loki’s mind control. They just came at us out of nowhere. I sent Thor after Loki to make sure he doesn’t get out.”
You winced at her words, making Natasha’s eyes narrow. She knew you knew something.
“What.” It wasn’t a question, but a demand.
“Loki got out.”
“And how would you know that.” She sat up, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I think that’s a question for another day. Right now, Thor is locked in that cell and this building is about to collapse around us.”
Just as you said that, the walls began to crumble. You grabbed Natasha’s hand, pulling her to her feet as you ran through the room, dodging the falling ceiling and heading for the stairs. God, how you wished you had some crazy super powers right now.
“We have to get Thor.” You said, heading back down the stairs towards the cell. Surely enough, he was still there, smacking his hammer against the glass in attempt to break free. Natasha ran to the board, pressing a sequence of buttons before the locks lifted and the glass door slid open.
“Come on, Blondie, we’ve gotta go!”
You managed to escape just in time, the whole building collapsing around you as you ran for the exit. When you were out, it was just as bad as the inside.
“He opened the portal.”
It was if there was a gaping hole in the sky. Weird caterpillar looking monsters flying out. Where you dreaming? Was this shit actually happening?
“Come on!” Natasha grabbed your hand, pulling you towards her car to head straight into the battle field, because that’s totally where you wanted to be. Right smack bang in the middle of THAT.
Why the hell did you sign up for this?
She handed you a gun, locking eyes with you, sending every bit of love she had inside her into your eyes. You didn’t know whether you liked it or not. Was she reminding you she loved you or making sure you knew it just incase something happened? Either way, she was out the car and you followed close behind. People were screaming in the streets, running for safety in every direction.
You were in the middle of a war, wearing leggings and a crop top, armed with one gun.
The team got to it straight away. Natasha chucked something at you, and when you opened your palm you saw an ear piece. You put it in and began to hear everything the team were saying, keeping connected to each other no matter where they were. You saw Tony up in the sky, the rest down below with you.
“I’ve got eyes on Loki.” You heard Nat’s voice, following her view as he flew the weird flying caterpillar around in the sky.
“We’ve got to close the portal!” Steve shouted, and you began to figure out where it was.
“How?” You asked, not understanding a single thing of what was going on. Is this really the shit The Avengers had to deal with?
“Loki’s Scepter. Get him, get his scepter, close the portal.” Nat told you, making eye contact as you his behind a car for cover. You looked back to the sky, trying to find the God of mischief once again. He was stood on the top of a building. Perfect.
You ran, ignoring everyone’s cries for you to stay down.
“What is she doing?!”
You knew what you were doing. You were going to trick the trickster. No one tried to destroy your world.
You were in the building Loki stood on, waiting for the elevator, refusing to take the stairs for the whole journey up.
“Hi Loki!” You waved at him as you finally reached the roof, making him spin in shock.
“Y/N?! What are you doing here?” His face said it all, he definitely was not expecting you.
“They brought me out here, didn’t want to leave me in the crumbling building, you know? And there’s loads of shooting down there, thought I’d be safer up here!”
You look around at the sky and then down below as you walked up to him, gun hidden in the back of your leggings.
“So... whatcha doin’?” You rolled back and forth on your feet, smiling the same smile you’d gave him earlier. He simply laughed, shaking his head at you before summoning one of the ugly caterpillars his way.
“Daddy issue stuff.” He climbed on top of the beast, scepter tucked by his side.
“Wow, can I come?!” You put on a face of pure shock, a wide smile to look amazed by what was in front of you. You saw a flash of doubt in his eyes before he laughed again.
“Fine, little one. But only for a moment!”
“Y/N don’t you dare!” You heard through the earpiece.
You climbed on behind Loki.
“Y/N I swear to god!” Oh you were in trouble. But not as much as Loki, which eased your mind slightly. If you could get the scepter, you could close the portal, and that’s all that mattered.
“You okay back there, little one?” Loki turned slightly to try see you as he flew the freaky thing, seeing your smile of pure joy. It actually was quite fun! Other than you know, the murder, shooting and chaos all around. You heard a shot from behind you making you duck your head down low. When you turned, you saw Natasha on one of the ugly flying caterpillars right behind you, getting closer by the second.
“Oh, oh. I’m in trouble.” You muttered, loud enough for Loki to hear.
“Don’t fret, little one.” That being said, he shot up higher into the sky, dodging the building last minute and spinning in the opposite direction. Should you have really got on the back of this thing? You looked down to see Natasha right below you.
“Sorry Loki, gotta go.” You patted his shoulder and stood up quickly, grabbing his Scepter before jumping.
“You better stay catch me Natasha.” You almost cried as you fell through the sky. The wind was nearly knocked out of you when you landed, thankfully not on the floor, but on the beast Natasha was flying.
“That was cool as fuck.” You heard Tony laugh through the earpiece.
“Hi, babe!” You smiled, getting a look of pure rage in return.
“As impressed as I am, I am furious.” You couldn’t keep the smile from growing on your face, and you could see hers creeping too. You let out a laugh before kissing her cheek, making her real smile come through.
“Get that to the tesseract, I’ll get Loki.” She told you as she flew you to the ground, letting you land on your feet before you ran to the portal. What now?
“What the fuck do I do now?!” You looked between the glowing box and the scepter, cluelessly.
“Push it closed!” Nat shouted back in your ear. Yeah, ‘cause it’s so obvious...
You jammed the fork in, pushing with all your force to try and close it.
“Hold your horses.” You heard Tony throw piece, stopping your attempts to see him flying up towards the portal holding a nuke. Holy. Shit. Before you could reply he was gone, disappearing into the black hole. Was he coming out? He had to right? He had to!
“Tony?” You spoke but earned no reply. Natasha ran to your side, eyes wide at the scene above.
“Come on, Stark.” You heard her mumble, and knowing that she was worried, worried you even more. You couldn’t lose him. Not like this.
“Close it.” Natasha said.
“What no, he’s-“
Tears in your eyes, you jammed the scepter back into the box, finally stopping the beaming blue light and shutting it off. You couldn’t look. You couldn’t watch as he didn’t return. It was Natasha’s sign of relief that finally made you open your eyes again. Looking up, you was Tony falling through the sky, pummelling towards the street below.
“He’s not slowing down. GUYS! He’s not slowing down!”
Out of no where, Bruce, or should you say the Hulk, flew forward, grabbing Tony as he clung to a building, tearing the walls as he fell with speed. You watched as he slung himself backwards, hitter the floor in a crash. You ran to the scene, Natasha on your heals just as Thor tore of Tony’s mask. He wasn’t awake. Eyes shut, not moving.
“Tony?” You said in a tiny voice, choking back the tears that dared to shed from your eyes.
“Come on. Wake up, you stupid idiot.”
He didn’t move.
“Wake up!” You screamed at the man in metal in front of you, holding on to his hand as if it were going to wake him.
Natasha was interrupted by the raw that came from Bru- the Hulk, shocking Tony’s eyes wide open as he gasped for air.
“Oh, thank god!” You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, falling back and holding your head with the hand that wasn’t in his.
“Well, that was something.” He coughed out, slowing lifting himself to a sitting position. You all looked around, seeing the distraction of the city you lived in. That was going to cost a pretty penny to fix...
“So... Did I just help save the world?”
The team let out a queue of laughter at you question, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Yeah, but we’ll be having words.” Natasha gave you a look, a look that said ‘you’re in deep shit’, but her smile never left her face, showing how proud she was of you.
“What now?” You asked, looking at the team around you.
“Anyone hungry? I’m starving.” Tony replied, sending you a cheeky smile as you raised your brow at him. The man just basically left earth and died and now he’s hungry?!
Considering the building you once all lived in was now gone, along with everything inside it, you all headed to your old restaurant, ready to end the night with some good food before you figured out your next move. It was far enough away from the chaos to not have been effected.
“Hi Taylor!” You smiled at him as you entered the building, The Avengers right behind you. He smiled at you before it dipped and grew bigger at the sight of the hero’s.
“Y/N! It’s been ages! What can I do for you?” He stepped up to you, not so sneakily sparing glances to your friends, your family.
“Food. Saving the world build up one hell of an appetite.”
“Near death situations get me peckish.” Tony chirped in behind you, making you roll your eyes at his joke, though knowing him he probably was not joking.
You took a seat round the large table, taking in the sight in front of you. The Avengers, your family, looked like shit. Everyone was dirty, their clothes covered in dust and blood. Their faces had cuts and bruises from the fighting and shrapnel that flew around them. Tony, Thor, Loki, Bruce (yes, Bruce, not the Hulk) who wore a a T-shirt and shorts that some kind civilians gave him, Steve, and Natasha.
Ah, Natasha. Even when her hair was messed up from the battle, a small thin cut by her brow with dried blood around it, covered in claret and muck, was still just as beautiful as ever. How did she do it?
“What are we going to do about him?” Steve nodded towards Loki, who sat beside you silently, hands cuffed in front of him. You gave him a look of apology, you didn’t want him to feel betrayed by you for some reason. You actually think you saw him as a friend, something you would not be announcing to the group.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered to him as you touched your foot to his leg beside him to get his attention. The team were discussing where they could keep him locked up, unable to do any more damage than he’d already done.
“Don’t worry, little one. I know.” He gave you a smile. A real smile, not a fake one, not a trick. You could see it in his eyes, he really meant that.
“We can go to my holiday home. It has enough room for us all for a while. And we can keep... him, in the basement.”
The idea of locking Loki up in the basement of a house did not sit well with you, then you remembered it was Tony Stark, and his basement was probably equivalent to a normal persons living room.
“We still need to talk.” Natasha whispered in your ear, sending a freezing cold shiver down your spine. You did not look forward to that. Before you knew it, she was dragging you by your hand to the other side of the restaurant, where no one was around to hear the upcoming conversation. You glanced back to the team, eyes full of worry but all they done was chuckle at your terrified state.
Thanks guy, really helpful.
“What were you thinking?!” Natasha let out as soon as you turned to face her. Oh, she was mad.
When she said you were going to have words, she really meant it.
“I was thinking ‘do whatever it takes to save the world’” You shrugged back, regretting the action as soon as you done it seeing the flame behind her eyes ignite.
“You could have been hurt! Or worse, killed! Did you think about that?!”
“No, I was thinking about making sure no one else got hurt or killed!” You admitted, and some part inside of you warmed at the words. You were talking like a true agent of SHIELD.
“What if I lost you, huh? What would I do then?” You could hear the hurt behind her words, her mind probably going back to seeing you lying in a hospital bed. You stepped forward, taking your hands in hers, and looking deep into her eyes.
“Don’t you remember? It’s me and you, always. I’ll never leave you.” You grinned, watching as the anger left her eyes and her tense stance deflated. You’d won her over, and she pulled you closer to her, wrapping her arms round you like you were the only thing keeping her alive. You breathed her in, carving this memory into your brain so you could never forget it. You loved how protective she was.
“Come on, I’m hungry.” You pulled back, giving her a quick peck on the lips before smirking and leading her back to the table. You saw something in Loki’s eyes as you sat back in your seat beside him.
“She’s off limits. You fuck with her, you fuck with me.” You mumbled as you tilted closer to him, pretending to itch your ankle as you spoke. When you looked back up, he was giving you a genuine smile, and you knew he was silently agreeing with your statement.
“I would never, little one. I would never hurt you.”
You let yourself sit back with a sign, slowly tuning in to the conversation the rest of the team were having beside you.
“Oh, you’re in it deep. She has you wrapped round her finger.” Thor laughed, looking at Natasha before looking at you and grinning. Oh, boy.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise today was the day you wanted to die, Blondie.”
You had to literally pin Natasha to her seat, sending a glare Thor’s way telling him to shut up before she really did kill him. Natasha hated being seen as weak and vulnerable, and teasing her about her relationship was possibly the biggest grave anyone could dig themselves.
“Are you all going to behave while I put in our order? Can I actually trust you to not kill each other?” You asked, a serious question. Steve and Tony were glaring at each other again. Natasha’s eyes were sending out a look that could kill straight to Thor. Bruce was just watching the scenes play out, and Loki was smiling at the ruction. He must really love it when people fight, being the god of mischief and all that.
With a huff, you left them, pushing up off your seat to go to the bar. What a day. ￼
“Just give me seven burgers, they’ll get what they’re given.” You laughed to Carly. Seeing her sweet smile made you miss her even more than you realised, she had always been such a good friend to you.
You forgot it had been half a nearly year since you’d set foot in the place. It made you realise that you’d been with Natasha for almost 8 months. Damn, that was a long time! Though no one knew anything of it for half of that time. But you couldn’t be happier with your new life. It was if you were a whole new person, again. Your mental and physical health had never been better, and you were saving the world. Not bad considering you were a drug addict only a few years back. Who would’ve thought you’d be where you are now?
You glanced up for a moment, silently thinking about how proud you’d of made your father today, even if you had been a little reckless.
“So, you’re an Avenger now?” Carly raised a brow with a smirk, nodding towards the group who sat behind you bickering. You looked down at yourself, your lovely grey leggings covered in black dust and your use to be favourite white shirt now ruined.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I do work for SHIELD.”
It was as if they all had super hearing, as you heard a throat clear behind you, and when you turned you saw them all giving you warm and proud smiles.
“No, Y/N. You fought along side us and you saved the world. You are an Avenger.” Tony told you, giving you a look that you could only describe as the look a father would give their child when they’d done them proud.
You were an Avenger.
A/N: Again, I know this isn’t how it originally goes in the film! I had to make it fit, I’m sorry! Don’t hate me...
A little bit of a longer wait for chapter 16, my working hours have increased and quite frankly my love for writing and reading is keeping me up til stupid o’clock in the morning. I’m working on 7 hours sleep in the last 72 hours. I’m surprised I can even spell half the words right at this point✌🏻MUCH LOVE💕
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Yelena Belova x Reader
"Alright pizza for Capsicle ,Tin Man, Thunderbird, Chinese for Bird boy,Bewitched,Red and Lena and I are having Burger and chips." You looked around confused when no one came running in at the smell of food "Guys come on I got your favourites let's go before it gets cold." With no replies you called out to your girlfriend "Lena darling let's go dinner." You sigh walking out of the kitchen and into the meeting room completely oblivious to their somber expressions "I've called you guys twice come on." "My love come on dinner." You shouted out. You knew she was home the mission wasn't going to take long and with Natasha you knew the mission would be even shorter and that they would be here for dinner "Y/N" Tony looked at you "Where is Yelena they are usually home by now." "Y/N." Your head whipped around at Natasha voice and how quite it was "Tasha where's Lena?" Your eyebrows forward in confusion as a pit formed in your stomach dreading her answer "I uh Y/N I we lost all communications it we eh it was an ambush and there was nothing I could do I tried god Y/N I really tried but I couldn’t find her." You didn't reply to her just running to your guys shared room bursting through the door hoping to see her on the bed perfectly fine smiling tiredly at you, but she wasn't it was empty and so quite without her rock albums from the 80s playing quietly in the background. You felt a hand touch your back and that's all it took for you to drop to the floor sobbing "No I no I can't I Lena no please please I will do anything anything just oh please." Natasha just held you as you both cried in the doorway of yours and Yelena's bedroom "shhh it's ok Y/N."
Weeks went by three weeks to be exact you barely left the room and only talked to Natasha as she told you what ever updated she or leads they could find. You lay across the bed as you let your mind wonder with a knock on your door bringing you out of your thoughts "what." "It's Steve can I come in." "Sure." This surprised him you hadn't given anyone but Natasha the time of day but you knew Steve you have known him for a long time, he was the one who introduced you to the Avengers and evidently introduced you to Yelena and well he understood not knowing how the love of his life was doing. " I know you don't want to talk so can I just sit." "Yeah." They had all been trying to get you to talk but you didn't want to you only wanted to talk to her tell her how much you loved her and that was it any other words where a waste of air time. And so you both sat in silence for an hour before you broke "I miss her giddy laugh, her suit jackets, the little smirk she wears when she beats you or Natasha at training. I miss the way she strokes my hair and teaches me Russian I miss the way her eyes light up when she gets an idea or how she holds my hand when she drives god I miss her Steve, can eh can you promise me you won't give up please you... you got to find her for me." Steve just looked at "yeah Y/N I promise we will find her ok." He left after that and you drifted off to sleep.
Two weeks later Natasha came running into your room "Y/N we have a location get up." You had never sprung out of bed so fast before in your life "can I come with you." You weren't an Avenger so usually you didn't but the team knew that if they touched down to get Yelena and you weren't there she wouldn't be to happy no matter if they had just rescued we or not "yeah let's go." You ran to the Quinjet and sat beside Steve "thank you" Steve just looked at her "for what we haven't got her yet." "I know but you didn't give up you kept your promise so thank you." You anxiously shook your leg as the Quinjet landed hoping that this was it that you where getting her back.
Yelena trudged up the road sore and covered in blood she was not dying in that hell hole she was going to be back to you she has you promised burgers and chips for dinner well that and she just wanted to hold you and cuddle you and tell you how much she loved her. She stopped suddenly at the sound of feet pounding the pavement coming towards her as relief, happiness and love washed over her.
The jet had landed and you had spotter her before anyone else "Y/N what is it." You didn't give a response to Steve as you took off up the road. It was her you knew it was her god run faster Y/N that's all you think as you raced towards her seeing the relief in her eyes it was you, you where there to rescue her. You didn't stop as you ran straight into her not bothering to care about the blood on her clothes. With a grunt she caught you and wrapped her hands around you tightly scared to let you go burying her head into your hair "Marry me." You pulled back from her "what?" "Marry me Y/N." You just grabbed her and held her tighter trying not to hurt her. You pulled back as tears welled up in your eyes at the extent of her wounds "oh god Lena I'll marry you right here promise me you won't scare me like that again though please." Yelena just smiled tiredly at you nodding her head.
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It was... Intensive
Warnings: smut +18, sexual content, fingering, f x f, lesbian sex, cunnilingus, sex in public, cheating
+18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Summary: Your best friend helps you detach yourself from reality.
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Enjoy the reading!
You were so tired of faking that everything is alright. Your relationship fell apart with each passing day. It wasn't the same as it used to be. Once you both loved each other, now you were together because it was much easier that way. Pretend you still feel something for him every day. Your life has become monotonous.
All the hours spent together looked the same. Nothing has changed. Well, maybe apart from the feeling you once had. You didn't feel anything for Bruce anymore. Just sad indifference. Pretending to be a happy couple in front of people was not easy. Just the thought of having to grab his hand made you disgusted. You didn't even sleep in one bed.
You weren't even sure what you were doing this for. You didn't care about him. Perhaps the thought that you would admit your mistake to your parents, who did not support the relationship from the beginning.
That evening you made an appointment with Natasha for a couple of drinks. You had a day off from work so you didn't want to stay home because you knew Bruce would be there. You didn't have to spend time with him unless it was necessary.
You started the preparations with a hot bath. You needed to relax, for a long time now your whole body was terribly tense. You poured your beloved chocolate bubble bath into the water. It was your favorite fragrance. You shake everything with your hand to make foam. You took off all your unnecessary clothing.
You stared at your naked reflection in the mirror for a moment. What happened to this confident young woman? Everything has changed since you started dating Bruce. You didn't feel so attractive anymore. You don't even remember the last time he praised you, what your body looks like. You wanted to see yourself as goddesses. You deserve it. You have decided that tonight will change your life. You will love yourself and your curves again.
You carefully put one foot in the bathtub, making sure the temperature is right. The water was hot. Only that could help soothe your sore muscles. You get immersed in the water. You don't remember the last time you were so relaxed. The light from the candles gave you a blissful feeling of peace. You reached for a glass of wine you put on the edge of the tub.
After an hour you stand on the bathroom tiles. You shudder at the feeling of their coldness, wrapped your body in a fluffy white towel, and brushed your teeth. Then did some facial treatments. The next step was to lubricate the body. For today, you've chosen a balm with a slightly chocolate-strawberry aroma.
Completely refreshed, you returned to the bedroom and then to the dressing room. From the cupboard, you pulled out new baby pink lace underwear. For a moment you wondered what to wear for tonight. You've chosen a short, satin dress that you haven't had the chance to test yet. Looking in the mirror you marveled at how well it fits all your curves. You looked really sexy. You finally felt as beautiful as one time.
You put on more makeup than usual. Now, your eyes were shimmering with the glitter you used. The lips looked really tempting in that blood-red lipstick. The confidence emanated from your posture, and that was it all about. The highlighter made you look like a celebrity.
You packed the phone and keys in a small purse. Finally, you were ready to leave. Without even looking at the couch where your "boyfriend" was sitting, you made your way to the door.
You got into the yellow taxi and after a while, you stood in front of the "Inferno" club illuminated by red neon lights. You wrote to Natasha, she was already inside.
Without waiting for anything else, you entered the club and immediately went to the bar next to which your friend was standing. "Hi!" As soon as Nat noticed you, she stepped off the barstool and hugged you. "You look so beautiful in that dress, honey!"
You smiled slightly at her praise. Bruce probably wouldn't even notice your little change. You ordered yourselves a drink, sitting at the bar all the time, laughing and talking. You don't even remember the last time you had so much fun. Banner restricted all of your life areas. You finally felt free. "That's my favorite song!" Romanoff tried to shout over the loud music. "You have to go dancing with me!"
Without waiting for your reply, she pulled your hand and led you out onto the crowded dance floor. Honestly, you didn't want to dance, but you didn't want to say "no" to her either.
You don't even know at what point you started rubbing against each other. The feeling of her body against yours was heavenly. Natasha, as if reading your mind, turned to look at you. You felt her hands on your hips. Your lips started a fight for domination. Her hand began to wander down your dress. She tugged its end gently.
Your whole body stiffened as Romanoff touched your smooth pussy. She didn't care if you were still on the dance floor full of people where someone might notice it at any moment. "God!" She moaned into your ear. "You're so wet for me. When was the last time someone touched you the way I do?" "I don't remember." Your cheeks turned red in the embarrassment. They resembled the color of a ripe tomato. Natasha did not expect such honesty.
She laughed a little, which made you worse embarrassed. Without asking any more questions, she took her hand out from your panties and licked her wet fingers provocatively.
After a while, you both ended up in a bathroom. Natasha pushed you onto the dark tiles. She smiled as she noticed the goosebumps on your skin. You couldn't help it that your own friend turned you on.
You had never thought of her that way before. "Tell me, sweetheart..." Her lips were on your neck. More shivers passed you as Natasha left bite marks on your sensitive skin. "Do you want me to ruin that pretty body of yours?" "Y-yes." You stuttered. "Yes, what?" She smiled maliciously.
"Yes, please." You said quietly. "You have to be louder. I want everyone in this fucking club to hear how thirsty you are for me. "Please fuck me!" You practically screamed. "If you are asking so nicely." She smiled seeing what state she brought you to. Just at that moment, you felt her fingers inside you.
You groaned out loud at a feeling you've never had before. You were not used to such delicate hands, but to be honest you liked what Natasha did to your body much more than men did.
Her fingers skimming along your slick lower lips. You couldn't help but keep out loud moans and gasps. Her free hand slid against the side of your face straight to the mouth. You sucked her finger at which Romanoff snarled loudly.
She had dreamed about this moment for so long. Now that she finally had you at her disposal, she couldn't get enough of your beautiful face. Your moans made Natasha want you even more. She has long suspected you're not straight. Tonight she found out the hard way.
Seeing her watching you fiercely, you pulled Natasha into a careless kiss. Her lips were soft and juicy. It was a nice change from the dry ones you've always been in contact with.
She cupped your jaw and titled your head back. She wanted to remember this view for the rest of her life. You were canting your hips for more. Natasha's fingers coated in your arousal. She was so close to your clit. She moved her thumb so she could circle it.
You were squirming at the pleasure she gave you. Your lips didn't part, you both wanted more. Suddenly she knelt down in front of you, tore your soaked panties to shreds, and made her way to your inner thighs. The feeling of her lips against your body was indescribable. You grabbed the strands of her hair with trembling hands. You weren't worried about her hairstyle, which was ruined at the moment. You had to hold on to the wall, you knew you could fall at any moment, and you were already very close to it.
Her tongue on your pussy was incredible. You knew this one time would not be enough. Natasha made you addicted to her touch and the pleasure it carried.
You were like a junkie, missing the right dose for months. Your friend was like a drug and you wanted more with every second. You would give anything to feel like this all the time. You were high. "I'm gonna cum." You moaned. "Cum, baby." She said with her lips still on your sensitive area. "Cum for me!"
"Everything fine there?" You heard a knock on the bathroom door and a concerned woman's voice. You got scared a little, but you didn't want Nat to stop. "Yeah! Everything is fine!" At the same moment you came with a loud groan.
Natasha laughed, which sent shivers down your body. "Did he ever make you so wet?" She asked with a mocking smile. Even though she had wanted you for a long time, playing with a girl of the would-be boyfriend was satisfying, to say the least. Romanoff knew she got you into a state you never knew before. Natasha made a beast out of you.
You came home on shaky legs. You still got chills at what you did with Nat. She made you addicted to herself. You wanted more and more.
When you entered the apartment, you noticed that Bruce was still sitting on the couch in the living room. Hearing the door open, he glanced towards you. "How was your night with Nat?" Bruce asked. He noticed the smudged lipstick you had all over your chin. "It was..." You have been wondering for a moment. "Intensive."
Just remembering it, wetness floated down your naked thighs.
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Natasha: What makes you think I’m upset?
Y/N: The giant hole you carved into the table.
Natasha: Oops, didn’t notice.
*moves fruit bowl over hole*
Natasha: There. Fixed it.
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Natasha: Let’s get proof. Step one: put a delicious pie in the fridge and cover it in poison.
Y/N: That’s step one?! What’s step two?
Natasha: Tell their widows they are thieves.
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Y/N: I’m quick at math.
Natasha: Okay, what’s 38 x 76?
Natasha: That’s not even close.
Y/N: But it was quick.
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Y/N: Did you just refer to a knife as a “people opener”?
Natasha: Should I not have?
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lucky - natasha romanoff
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader
Warnings: just pure fluff, r drinks wine
Word Count: 964
A/N: I got wine drunk and started feeling
Gif not mine
You got home late after a long day at work. You slipped off your shoes, leaving them by the door and sighing as you dropped your shoulders and walked further into your apartment. You flicked on the kitchen light, dropping your bag on the kitchen island stool.
You opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. Nothing but the half empty bottle of rosé caught your attention. You pulled it out, deciding on ordering takeout for the night, internally groaning at the time, limited options.
You softly placed the glass bottle on the countertop, not wanting to make noise, knowing your girlfriend was asleep a thin wall away. You opened the cabinet and pulled out a wine glass, pulling your phone out from your back pocket and scrolling through a delivery app. You set the glass down and dug through your bag and pulled out your earbuds, putting on a daily playlist and dancing to the music, trying to decide where to eat.
Natasha stirred awake, hearing shuffling noises coming from the kitchen. You weren’t making noise, but Natasha was trained to be on her toes all the time, she would’ve been able to hear you even if you didn’t make any noise. She sat up and wiped her eyes, yawning.
She stood up, slipping into your pair of soft slippers she loved wearing when you weren’t home. She quietly opened the door and made her way down the dark hallway, the only light coming from the door to the kitchen.
She could hear you humming as you tried to make a decision. You were leaning against the counter, wine glass resting against your lip, your arms wrapped around yourself and phone brought up to your face. Your head moved to the beat and your slightly faster breath told Natasha you’d been dancing just before she got there.
Natasha giggled at the sight, your eyes were squinted and she could practically hear you complaining about a headache the next day. She walked closer to you, snaking her hands onto either side of your hips, as you pulled the phone away from your face and place it on the counter behind you.
You smiled as Natasha pulled you closer, connecting your lips in a tender kiss. Her lips were soft against yours, her hands pulling you impossibly closer against her body as your hands tangled into her hair.
Your girlfriend’s hands travelled up to your waist, squeezing slightly before slipping her fingers just underneath the hem of your shirt. Natasha tilted her head, deepening the kiss.
As much as you loved the hot and heavy, quick and dirty moments you shared with your girlfriend, this was what you loved the most. Small and intimate moments like these, made you feel warm all over, made you feel safe, made you feel home.
You hopped onto the counter, Natasha slipping between your legs, her hands trailing down your outer thighs then back up to your hips. You pulled away from her, your lips red and a little swollen, small pants leaving both of your lips.
You shared a look, and you could’ve sword you saw her eyes sparkle. Even in the dim lighting of your small kitchen, her face still looked perfect and you wondered how lucky you are that someone so perfect chose you.
“What?” She asked, looking back down at your lips, then back up at your eyes.
“Nothing,” You leaned forward and captured her lips with your own again. This time, your hands wondered down to her waist as she pressed herself closer to the counter, simultaneously pulling you closer by your face.
Natasha didn’t like talking about her feelings, she had trouble vocalizing when she cared about someone. It would’ve been a problem for anyone but her. Natasha had a way of showing you how much she cared about you, how much she loved you. It was in the way her thumb rubbed circles over the exposed skin of your thigh, how her kiss was never too rough or too soft, just the right amount of give and take, in the way she woke up and decided to leave her bed to come see you in the middle of the night because she knew you were exhausted from work and needed the extra care.
She may not know how to tell you she loves you, but she shows you every day.
You basked in her warmth for another moment before pulling away from her one more time. She stepped back from the counter as you hopped off, turning your back to her to pick up your phone from the counter.
She wrapped her arms around you from behind, resting her head on your shoulder looking down at your phone, and pressing her lips on your shoulder. You picked up your wine glass and took another sip, going back to your delivery app.
“Babe it’s midnight,” She mumbled into your ear.
“I know,” You said, chuckling and giving up on finding somewhere that wasn’t fast food. “Pizza or burgers?”
“Pizza,” She said after letting out a soft giggle.
As you made your selections, Natasha reached for one of your earbuds and plopped it into her ear, slowly starting to sway the both of you to the soft music playing through the small device.
Once you were done placing your order, she swirled you around and placed your arms around her neck, then putting hers on your waist. She never once stopped swaying to the music, pulling you closer as your lips connected once again.
And for what felt like the millionth time just that day, swaying to the soft music in the tiny New York apartment kitchen in the middle of the night, you wondered to yourself just how did you get so lucky?
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
300 BESTIES CELEBRATION
feedback is welcome :)
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Request: Could you write something for the fluff prompt number 6? For any character it doesn’t really matter to me.
Summary: Prom has rolled around again, but the best prom-posal of all comes from your girlfriend, Nat.
You had never attended a prom before, all the years before you and Bucky had stayed home and watched cheesy romcoms on a loop. However, you wanted to go this year, mostly because this year, you had a girlfriend to attend with.
Nat, your girlfriend, didn’t really get into the whole concept of prom, and you knew that if you asked her she would laugh it off and say something about how she would rather have quality alone-time with you. But this only furthered your desperation to go.
All your friends knew about your situation, and one day when you were all were discussing renting a limo together, Steve broached it with you,
“Are you gonna take Nat as your date, (Y/n)?”
“Oh I don’t know Steve,” you sighed, “she hasn’t said anything about it,”
“Well maybe she’s just waiting for the right time,” he tried to make you feel better,
“Maybe,” you sat back in your chair, defeated, you really didn’t know how to talk to her about it.
“Hey love?” A hushed voice came from behind you,
You turned around to see your rosy haired girlfriend, she looked nervous,
“Yeah Nat? Are you alright?” You asked,
She only gestured out into the hall and you obliged her by following her outside.
Once you had shut the door, you looked back at her and saw that she was holding a massive piece of cardboard; it was smothered in pansies and primroses. Purple petals spelling out the words ‘Prom?’
“Oh Nat,” you breathed out,
“I know you wanted to go this year, and you thought I didn’t want to go. But if you want to, I want to. So? What do you say love? Prom?”
You planted a quick kiss to her cheek and smiled,
“Of course Nat, I wouldn’t want anything else,”
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Pairing(s): Avengers x platonic!reader
Summary: The reader has some very unhealthy eating habits that they avoid sharing with the team. One day, however, it catches up with them and the team expresses their support and concern.
Warnings: Disordered eating, food intake restriction, mentions of body insecurities, brief mentions of nausea and vomiting
A/N: This fic is in NO WAY meant to promote or glorify eating disorders and/or disordered eating. As with all of my fics, this is based off of my personal experiences. The feelings and things I experience/have experienced may be different from those of other people. Please do not consider this to be a 100% accurate representation of disordered eating. Everybody experiences these things differently.
If you feel that this fic may cause you any distress, anxiety, relapse, etc. PLEASE do not read it. You know yourself best, make the choice that is right for you. If you ever want to talk about anything, my inbox is always open and I’m more than willing to talk about anything.
The number flashed at you from the LED screen of the scale. “Ugh, it’s mocking me,” you thought to yourself. You turned around and stared at your reflection in the mirror. You stood in just your underwear, as you ran your hand over your relatively flat stomach. You had worked very hard to obtain this figure- and you were damn proud of it- when you looked in the mirror and saw your flat stomach and thin body reflected back at you, you felt a surge of confidence- you felt content. However, no one’s body always looked like that, and of course whenever you would eat a meal your stomach would expand, making that slim, fit looking stomach disappear.
Realistically, you knew this was normal- it happened to everybody- and you also knew that if you were to gain weight, it wouldn’t be the end of the world; you would still look perfectly fine no matter how your stomach and waist looked. But it was an obsession, and no amount of logic or reasoning could assuage the immense terror and nausea you felt when you even thought about gaining weight. You were at a healthy weight for your height and age- and you weren’t anorexic or bulimic- you still ate.
However, your diet and eating schedule were terrible. And honestly, you did it on purpose. You knew that in the long run, eating (or more accurately, not eating) like this would probably have the opposite of the desired effect on your body. But you just couldn’t explain the dizziness, nausea, and anxiety that filled your body when you considered having a normal diet and meal intake.
You were actually a little worried that you may have completely screwed up your body with your unhealthy habits. You had been doing this for years- and now, you hardly ever got hungry anymore. Sometimes you felt those aches and pangs of hunger in your stomach, but for some reason you liked it. It made you proud of yourself in some sick way, because you knew you were depriving your body of what it needed, and slowly causing your ribs to become more visible and your wrists to become bonier. You knew that something was wrong with your mind- you were sick- but you had no desire to fix it. Oftentimes, even the smell of food was enough to make you feel sick and nauseous.
Had you lived by yourself, this would’ve been fine; however, you were a resident of the Avengers compound and were almost constantly surrounded by at least one person, if not more. This meant it was very difficult for you to hide your incredibly unhealthy eating habits.
Most days, you forgot to eat until 3 or 4 pm; the thought genuinely slipping your mind because you just didn’t feel hungry. You had no want or need for food, so you generally forgot. Until you got a splitting headache, that is. You rarely ever drank enough water- you basically survived off of coffee.
As a team member of the Avengers, you were required to attend training sessions several times a week. Your skills were mainly in physical combat and working with technology. You usually brought water to these training sessions- you weren’t that foolish- but the lack of substantial nutrients in your body made the sessions that much harder.
You had periods of time when you would eat slightly more food and on a semi-regular basis. But after screwing with your body for so long, your desires and cravings (or lack thereof) for food were unpredictable.
Today was a training day and you were set to work on hand to hand combat with Steve. You often cursed the super soldier for his intuition and knack for observing others and picking up on their feelings and concerns. This had nothing to do with Steve being a super soldier, he was just a naturally observant person; which meant that he always noticed when you felt worn down from having little to no food or water that day.
Today was a particularly intense training day, and after 30 minutes you were already drenched in sweat. It didn’t take long before your movements and reflexes became sluggish. It was 3:30 in the afternoon at that point and you had eaten nothing but a few almonds today. Steve seemed to notice your exhaustion, and called for a five minute break. You both walked over to a table and chairs off to the side of the training area and took a seat.
“Hey Y/N, are you sure you’re alright? Did you get enough sleep last night?” Steve wearing a concerned expression and staring at you with that intense gaze of his. You looked away from his eyes because you found it very difficult to lie when making direct eye contact with him. Something about his expression and demeanor made you feel nervous and heavily scrutinized. You settled for simply nodding.
“You sure? You seem like you’re dragging a little today. We can take a break if you need to and come back to this tomorrow,” Steve offered. You panicked, fearing that it would raise suspicion if you agreed to that.
“No no, I’m fine, I wanna train. Come on, let’s get back to it,” you said, standing up quickly. That was a big mistake; not only were you running on no food, but you were also anemic, which meant that standing up too quickly was never a good idea.
Your ears began to ring and you felt as though you had put your head underwater. Everything sounded muffled and distant and your vision swam before your eyes. You felt your breathing pick up and saw spots in your vision as you felt your body grow incredibly warm. Oh no- this is how your body reacted whenever you were going to pass out. You didn’t want to do that- that would DEFINITELY raise suspicion. Your brain sluggishly decided that you should try and sit back down. And with that, you collapsed to the floor, as everything went black.
When you opened your eyes, the first thing you noticed was a lot of bright light. You squinted, your head aching from all the lights and sounds. You groaned and rubbed your eyes, yawning.
“Well, look who finally decided to wake up!” Tony said jovially. Your eyes were closed, but you could tell that he was smirking at you, just from the sound of his voice.
“Y/N, what the hell happened?” another, gentler voice asked. You knew that voice- you were still groggy, so it took you a second to place who it was. Bucky, that was Bucky’s voice. Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw the entire team gathered around you, all packed tightly together. You stared at them, looking slightly dazed and confused.
“W-what happened?” you asked, struggling to recall what you had been doing before waking up here.
“We were training and you stood up and then just passed out. You probably would’ve hit your head if I hadn’t caught you,” Steve said, the worry evident in his voice. Slowly, it all started coming back to you and a look of complete horror made its way onto your face. Suddenly, Bruce spoke up.
“Y/N, you passed out from dehydration and a lack of food; were you starving yourself?” he asked. You quickly turned your head towards your left to look at him.
“No, no I wasn’t!” you protested quickly. You technically weren’t lying; you had been eating, you had just been eating in very small increments, on an incredibly irregular schedule.
“Come on Y/N, seriously. We’re not mad at you, we just wanna know the truth. We’re worried about you,” Sam said, sounding as though he was trying to avoid scaring you off.
“I know, I know. I promise you guys, I’m not starving myself and I AM eating. I mean look at me, have I lost any weight? I still look the same as always. I was just being stupid and forgot to eat enough before training that day, alright?” The team scrutinized you with suspicion, exchanging looks.
“I’m FINE guys, I promise,” you said again. After a minute of silence, Bruce just sighed.
“You need to be more careful in the future Y/N,” he said, still eyeing you suspiciously, as though he didn’t believe you were being completely honest.
Ever since that fateful day, the team kept a much closer eye on you, especially in the kitchen and during mealtimes. You tried to follow your same routine as you usually did: take a small amount of food, eat that (to avoid getting a headache), grab something small and unhealthy with very little nutrients, make yourself some coffee, and escape to your room. But the team wasn’t having it.
On Wednesday, Sam made some dish with rice, which he said was a family recipe. Everyone piled their plates with food, gathering around the island in the kitchen where the food was sitting. You filled your plate with a small portion- truthfully, it did look good- but today was one of those days when even the smell of food made you feel queasy and nauseous.
You scooped a bit of rice, and you were about to head to the table, when you felt Bucky gently- but firmly- grip your arm to prevent you from walking any further.
“Nope,” he said casually, reaching around and grabbing your plate with his other hand.
“Hey!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with irritation. He released your arm, so he could add more food to your plate- a lot more- and handed it back to you. Holy shit- there was no way you were going to be able to eat all of that- and it wasn’t just due to a fear of gaining weight. Your appetite had shrunk A LOT since you had first started restricting your eating. You honestly couldn’t remember when it started, but you knew that you definitely couldn’t eat as much food as before. Bucky seemed satisfied with himself, and you made your way back to the table quietly.
You noticed as you sat down that your hands were shaking slightly. You hid them under the table, hoping that no one would notice. You ate the amount that you would normally eat- which was about as much as you could stomach- and left the rest of the food untouched.
“Hey,” Tony said, using his fork as a pointer and directing it at you. “Finish your food,” he said, sounding jokingly stern. You felt like a child being reprimanded.
“It’s super good Sam…” you said, trailing off as though you were preparing to add a ‘but’ in there.
“Oh what, so now you’re saying my food isn’t good?” Sam said, pretending to be offended.
“What no- I-”
“No no it’s fine, I know what you were about to say. You were gonna say ‘it’s super good Sam, but I’m so full’ or something. The classic excuse!” he exclaimed overdramatically, as Steve and Bucky laughed at his antics. You knew he was just joking, but you were already so anxious and hyper-sensitive that you suddenly felt the burning sensation of tears build behind your eyes. Oh fuck no, you were not going to let yourself cry in front of the entire team. You blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears that were forming. Only Wanda and Natasha- bless their hearts- seemed to notice your growing distress.
“Hey guys, cut it out,” Natasha said. Her tone was stern enough that the three men stopped their laughter and glanced over at you.
“Hey, Y/N/N I was joking, you know that right? I know you don’t hate my cooking,” Sam said, his voice kind and gentle. You didn’t say anything, just nodding and continuing to stare at your plate. Wanda rubbed your shoulder gently. She leaned close so that only you could hear her and said,
“You okay? Do you want to go to your room?” You nodded and she got out of her seat and took your hand, helping you up and guiding you out of the room with her hand on your shoulder. The rest of the team (with the exception of Natasha) stared after you in stunned silence. As you walked away, you heard Bucky mumble,
“Wow, way to go Sam.”
“Me!?” Sam exclaimed slightly louder. “You stole her plate!”
“Will both of you knock it off?” Steve said.
Several hours later, there was a knock at your door. Wanda had stayed with you the whole time, talking about your eating habits and why you felt the way you did about your body. Wanda glanced towards the door, and then back at you.
“Do you want me to open it?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess so. It’s probably Sam,” you said, sounding tired. Wanda got up from the bed and walked over to the door and opened it.
“Oh- hello- okay you’re all here,” she said, sounding slightly surprised.
“Can we come talk to Y/N?” you heard Bucky ask. Wanda looked back at you once again, silently asking if you were okay with it. You simply nodded and sat back against your wall, clutching a pillow to your chest and hugging your knees. Bruce, Tony, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Natasha all entered and stood a couple feet away from your bed. They stood in awkward silence for a moment, before Sam finally spoke.
“Hey Y/N/N, we just came to apologize for everything. I’m sorry for messing with you and I hope you know I’m not really mad at you. If anything, we’re all pretty worried about you.” You nodded and said,
“Yeah, I know. That’s not what it was about.” You looked at your knees and began picking at a thread on your jeans. After another moment of silence, Steve said,
“Well… could you tell us what it was about? I understand if you don’t want to, but we just want to know what’s going on so we can help you.” You turned to look at Wanda, who nodded at you. Even though no words were exchanged, you could tell she was saying: “You should tell them. You can trust them, they’re your friends.” Sighing, you nodded back at her and turned to face the team once more.
“Okay. But you have to let me explain everything before you say anything,” you said, your tone cautious. The team all nodded and gave various responses of understanding and agreement.
Sighing, you took a deep breath and prepared yourself to share one of your biggest secrets/insecurities.
“Okay, well… I don’t know when it all started- I remember figuring out that weight was something people were insecure about- and by 7 years old I had started scrutinizing my appearance a lot, and keeping a close eye on how I looked,” you paused, still picking at the strings on your pants and refusing to look up at your friends.
“I remember I had a crush on this kid in 7th grade who used to make jokes about my weight and jokingly called me fat. Realistically, I knew I wasn’t fat, but since I cared so much about that kid’s opinion I began to wonder what they saw when they looked at me. What everyone saw. If they could make jokes about me being fat, I figured that that meant there had to be some truth to it. Otherwise, why would they joke about it? When I finally hit the 100 lbs mark somewhere between 7th-8th grade, I started to panic. Even though I knew it was normal for my age, I didn’t like the fact that I was gaining weight even if it was healthy. My weight would fluctuate a lot and if I complained about it, my parents told me I should exercise more or eat healthier foods, or snack less after school. I rarely ever had breakfast, and the school lunches weren’t very filling. So after school, I would go home and basically eat a small meal, and my mom would criticize me for it.
When my anxiety got really bad in high school and I got diagnosed with anemia, I felt nauseous a lot, so I usually didn’t want to eat much because I felt so sick. And then, I realized that my body was starting to look the way I wanted it to since I was eating in very small amounts. I could never completely stop eating… I was afraid of what would happen to me, and it tended to cause really bad migraines. So I always ate at least a little bit. But there were…” you hesitated, and then corrected yourself. “There ARE days when I don’t eat for a full 24 hours- sometimes even longer- and I’m proud of myself. I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it. Of course, no one has noticed because I still eat, so as long as no one looks too closely, they can’t tell that anything is abnormal. Which is what I want, because anytime someone tells me to eat more or criticizes my eating habits or tells me that what I’m doing is really unhealthy and dangerous, I start to panic. Because I don’t WANT to fix it. I know I should want to- and I should do something about it- but I don’t want to.” You were quiet for a moment before adding,
“Today was the first time I’ve ever passed out. I’ve never gone that far before. I don’t know what happened. I think my appetite has changed a lot since this all started. I can’t eat as much food as I used to and oftentimes I just don’t feel hungry. There are a lot of times when I can’t think of a single thing I want to eat- everything makes me feel sick- even though I can tell I should probably have something. So, yeah, that’s everything,” you finished quietly.
The room was silent for a minute before Tony sat down and pulled you into a side hug.
“I get it kid. For me, it has nothing to do with weight or insecurity- I just forget to eat. I get so wrapped up in my work and everything I have to do, that it just completely slips my mind. I don’t even feel hungry, so I don’t notice until I start to feel really weak and tired. Or until Bruce or Pepper remind me to eat or bring me food,” he added, with a grin in Bruce’s direction. Bruce chuckled a little.
“Yep, that’s what I’m here for. Reminding Tony to eat, sleep, and shower; if it weren’t for me, he would look like a homeless man,” Bruce said jokingly. The team laughed a little, glad to have something to break the tension a little.
“Hey, I know I won’t ever fully understand what it is you’re feeling, but I do want to help you. Can you promise me something kid?” Tony asked, giving you a serious look. You stared back at him curiously.
“Can you promise that you’ll try something for me?” Slowly you nodded, not entirely sure what you had just agreed to.
“Let’s help each other out. I won’t push you to eat a huge meal or criticize what you’re eating, but I want to check in with you a few times a day to make sure you’ve had something to eat and some water. And in return, you can help me make sure that I don’t forget to eat. Pepper’s been on my ass about it for years, telling me how unhealthy it is. So, if you let me help you, I’ll let you do the same for me. How does that sound?” Tony asked. You bit your lip and considered it for a moment. You did want to help Tony, and holding each other accountable for your eating habits didn’t seem so terrible. And he did promise he wouldn’t judge you or tell you what to eat. You still had control- you didn’t have to feel so trapped- like a small child being reprimanded by their parents.
“You promise you won’t judge me or get mad at me?” you asked with uncertainty.
“I promise,” Tony said, giving you a light squeeze. You thought about it for another moment before leaning your on his shoulder and saying,
“Okay. I promise.” Tony smiled down at you.
“Good. I’m proud of you kiddo,” he said.
“Would you feel okay about the rest of us checking in on you sometimes? Just making sure you feel okay and you’ve had some water or something?” Bucky asked. You considered him for a minute, looking at his concerned expression and let out a barely audible sigh.
“Yeah, okay. Just don’t judge me or make me feel bad, okay?” you said, looking around at the group. They all nodded, still wearing various expressions of concern and sadness on their faces.
“Alright, now stop looking at me like I just told you I have a terminal illness. I don’t need any pity,” you said, your tone playful. The group laughed at your joke, glad to see you were starting to get back to normal again.
“You know we love you, right Y/N/N?” Sam asked. You nodded and smiled at him.
“Yeah, I know. I know you guys are just looking out for me and I appreciate it. I love you guys.”
“We love you too Y/N,” Steve said with a smile. Smiling contentedly, you leaned into Tony’s shoulder again and closed your eyes, feeling calm for the first time in a while.
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Summary: After picking you up from the airport, Natasha surprises you with a date and a kitten.
all: @delias-bitch-craft @winters-witch-bitch @paulawand @nyx-aira @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese
special tag to @procrastinatingsapphictrash cause she wanted to read it :)
(lmk if you want to be added and be specific!!!)
a/n: i was in a good mood today so i felt like i wanted to write a cute fluff short story :)
While you were on the plane, you were practically jumping in excitement. Four months ago, Fury assigned you to go on a work trip to go investigate a possible 0-8-4. Usually, he left those things for the lower-ranked officials, but you recently suffered a tremendous loss on the last harsh mission. In fact, that mission caused you and Natasha to get together. The grief of the mission brought you two together and you ended the night with a kiss and some snuggling. Of course, Barton had to come bursting in and taking a picture to blackmail us.
The trip wasn’t too difficult, just stay a fair amount away from the object of unknown origin and simply investigate the surroundings and report back. Of course, Natasha was worried and constantly texted you whenever she had the time. You thought she was so cute, constantly asking you how you were doing as if you were on an extremely dangerous mission. The two of you talked every night about how each of your days was.
You stepped off the plane only to be crushed in a hug by a certain redhead. You giggled. “Hey Nat” The redhead narrowed her eyes and she scanned you head-to-toe to see if there were any injuries to treat. “Are you hurt?” You rolled your eyes. It was only a simple observation mission. “I’m fineeee” Natasha grinned as she leaned forward to press a kiss to your temple. “Just wanted to make sure.” You thought that you two were going home to simply relax, but Natasha had other plans. “Nat, what are we doing here?” You looked at where you were. This was the restaurant that was in the best part of the city and had a stunning view at the rooftop. Its food must cost at least a hundred bucks for a dish. As you followed Natasha out of the car, you grabbed her wrist. “We can’t afford this!” Natasha’s worried expression turned into a sly grin. “Bet.”
You looked around rapidly and couldn’t believe how fancy and elegant this place was. You hadn’t been to this kind of restaurant since you were a little girl. Natasha reached for your hand on the dining table and intertwined her fingers with yours. She squeezed them reassuringly as if she was silently telling you not to worry. Almost suddenly, you relaxed your shoulders and took in a huge breath. You trusted Natasha, so you enjoyed the rest of your meal and chatted with Natasha.
When you opened the door to your apartment, you immediately heard a little jingle of some sort of metal. Was there a robber here? Did someone break in? You walked slowly to grab your bat from the closet and slowly approached the sound in where it came from. As you turned to the corner and opened the door. You peeked one eye open to see a cute little kitten resting on your bed, sleeping. You dropped your bat immediately and went to the sleeping kitten. You always wanted a kitten since you were young. As you petted the kitten, you noticed how pitch black the fur was, which you absolutely loved. You enjoyed the little purrs that the kitten released. You were so entranced by the cat that you jumped when Natasha made her presence aware. “So what will you name her?” You thought for a few seconds. “Natalie.”
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Of A Broken Heart
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader
Word Count: 5,339
Summary: You never thought you would see her again. Never thought you would feel your heart skip a beat because of her emerald green gaze again. Never thought that you would let her back in. You also never thought that you would have to think about planning your brother’s funeral either. (Set after and during (sort of) Infinity War.)
Notes: Everyone requested a second part of Requiem... so I thought I would make one. I hope that you all like it. (Also the reader was under the assumption that Tony had returned. She wasn’t aware that Tony wouldn’t have a way back.)
Tag List: @username23345 // @stephanieromanoff // @ima-gi--na-tion // @chickenhavewisdom // @hi-i-1 (I’m not sure if some of you wanted to be tagged but you mentioned a part two in Requiem... so I thought I would do so just in case.)
Warnings: Mentions of alcoholism.
Your gaze was leveled with the sky. Tracing over the sparkling stars and the distant worlds dotted between. Worlds that you would never be able to make out with your naked eye. Even though you knew that they were there all the same.
Was Tony on one of them? Your mind cries out. Tears coming unbidden to your eyes as you tried to quell the incoming sobs. Was he all right? Was he already dead?
The thoughts were familiar to you. Looping constantly within your head like a taunt. Images of your brother’s dead body flashing across your mind. Hollow brown eyes, normally filled with so much life, staring into your own. Never to have the same spark again. To have mischief lurking within their depths as various emotions played through his brilliant mind.
Clenching your hands against the railing you were leaning against, you lower your head as you take in deep breaths. Ever since Tony had disappeared with the ship you had been left in an almost fugue state. Barely being able to interact with anyone. Barely allowing yourself the pleasures of living.
Eating had become a challenge because Tony could potentially not be doing the same. How could you possibly enjoy your meal if Tony was starving? How could you allow yourself the simple pleasures of Earth if Tony was suffering away from it? Away from you.
The thought of Tony truly being gone hadn’t fully set in. You had dealt with this before. Had lived with the knowledge that Tony could be lost to you. Afghanistan had been hell for you and for everyone that loved Tony. You hadn’t given up hope that he would be found. That your big brother, the only family you had left, would be returning to you.
You had less hope now. At least when Tony had disappeared in Afghanistan he had still been on Earth. Now you didn’t know what galaxy he was in… let alone the planet. His absence became more and more obvious the longer it went on. The days slipping past you like water through your fingers. The knowledge that Tony may truly be gone this time crushing you.
It didn’t help that you were surrounded by the people that hurt you the most. The people that you thought were your family but ended up being your biggest heartache. Closing your eyes once more, you crane your neck back. And even if you couldn’t see the stars you knew where you were looking. You had long since memorized the layout of the sky above your terrace in the Compound. It wasn’t the Tower but you didn’t think you could bear to set foot in it. Not without Tony being there to greet you.
You could hear the distant murmur of voices beneath you. No doubt the others trying to figure out what to do. The sound causes yet another stab of pain to lance through your heart. While you wouldn’t wish what had happened on your greatest enemy, you couldn’t understand how they survived when Tony didn’t. How they could be using the things he made for them after everything they had done. Didn’t understand why you had to see them every day and not Tony.
You still remember, with perfect clarity, seeing them again after so long. Remember seeing her again after everything.
You wished that your heart didn’t still react the way it did.
Stepping off of the QuinJet, you pull your jacket tighter against your body. Your eyes taking in the various faces as you went. Desperately searching for something familiar to ground you. You needed something to make sense. You needed to have someone you love be okay.
Spotting a familiar face, you break out into a run. Relief interlacing itself within your shout. “Wombat!”
At your yell, Rhodey whips around and pure relief flashes across his face. His arms are already opening for you as you barrel into him. Burrowing against him as you clung as tightly as you could.
“You’re okay,” you choke out with tears falling from your eyes. “You’re okay.”
Rhodey’s arms tighten around you at your choked statements. The pain he was holding back showcasing itself within the shaking of his arms. By the way, he followed every minute movement of your body as you shifted in his embrace. Finally, after a few moments, you take a small step back. Making sure that you maintained eye contact with him through it all. You needed him in your sights at all times. You don’t know what you would do if he disappeared too.
His pained gaze flits to various points behind you. His throat bobbing up and down as he tried to form his question. “Di-” He clears his throat. “Did Pepper make it?”
You nod. “She’s on her way now.”
Rhodey hums but his gaze still hadn’t returned to yours. Causing your own to narrow as worry started to fill your chest. “Rhodey.” You wait for him to turn back towards you. Even if his gaze wouldn’t stay solely on your own for long. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head but doesn’t offer an answer. Something that only causes your worry to grow that much more. Rhodey had made it his life's work to deliver the hard truths to family. You didn’t want to think of what this meant that he wasn’t able to tell you.
Stepping closer, you place a light hand on his chest. “Rhodey,” you implore gently. “What happened?”
There’s a tense silence until he finally meets your gaze. Tears finally begin to fall from his eyes as a pained sound escapes his mouth. “Sam.”
He didn’t have to say anything else for you to understand. You had already seen so many people you knew crumble before your eyes. Seen innocent bystanders disappear with the breeze as their remaining family watched in shock. The screams for help and the mournful howls of grief following soon after. New York City quickly became a desolate wasteland of what it used to be. The City That Never Slept growing quiet.
Wrapping your arms around Rhodey, you offer him another hug. There were no words that you could say that could take away his pain. No words that would ever make the grief go away. That would ever erase the image of ashen faces crumbling against the wind. Faces of loved ones, of people you didn’t even know, forever seared into your brain.
Raising your head, you meet Rhodey’s gaze once more. A small frown furrowing your brow.
“We’ll have to take another jet to scope the area for more survivors. I thi-”
Whatever was going to be said was immediately interrupted by your entrance. Not that you cared for anything he had to say. Your gaze honing in on his baby blue one as you made your way towards him. While he didn’t look the same you could still see the self-righteous asshole underneath. Something that caused your anger to grow even more.
You didn’t notice the other occupants of the room. Didn’t notice the way pained green eyes followed your every move-- even though there was worry interlacing the expression. Didn’t notice anything except for Steven Fucking Rogers.
Even the splitting pain that erupted across your hand as you punched him did little to detract from your anger. All you could feel was your pain. Your grief at what had happened. No amount of physical pain could ever measure up to your emotional trauma.
“You asshole,” you snarl. “This is exactly what Tony was afraid of. This is exactly what he tried to protect the world from.”
Steve didn’t make any move to protect himself from your shoves. His blue gaze turning sad; almost remorseful.
“I know, Y/N.” He turns his head away as shame colors his face. “I know that this is what Tony was afraid of.”
“Don’t you dare say his fucking name like you’re still his friend. Don’t you dare act like what you did didn’t happen.” You scoff as you take a step back from him. Your gaze finally looping the room for the first time. Only briefly pausing over Natasha’s silent form. Hating the relief that flared through your body at the sight of her. An emotion that you were sure crossed your face by the way something shifted in her gaze. By the way, her stance loosened ever-so-slightly. Turning away from her, you meet Steve’s gaze once more. “Tony knew this was going to happen. It’s why he fought so fucking hard for the Accords. Why he fought so hard to keep the team together.”
Anger finally graces Steve’s face at your words. “The Accords were going to treat us as servants, Y/N. There was no way we could sign them.”
An incredulous laugh falls from your lips at your words. “This isn’t the forties, Rogers. You can’t just do whatever the hell you want and expect to get away with it. There have to be limitations on what people with your abilities are allowed to do.” You shake your head as you turn your back on him. Moving towards the door. “Tony was going to fight for your rights. He wasn’t going to let your humanity be stripped from you. But there had to be fail-safes in place to protect the innocent people of Earth.” You shoot him a glance over your shoulder. Withering with its intensity-- with your anger. “Or is one person truly worth more than the millions of lives you destroyed? Or the billions, maybe even trillions, that are now gone because you couldn’t see past your loyalty to him?”
“This isn’t my fault, Y/N.” Steve replies. “This is because of Thanos. He is the one we have to stop.”
A small smile quirks your lips at that. “Still the idealist I see.” You shake your head. “We all made mistakes, Rogers. Could have done things in a different manner. But never forget that you were the one that split the team-up. That you were the one that decided Barnes’s life was worth more than everyone else's.” You chance one more glance towards Steve. Your eyes are sympathetic because you already knew what happened to him. “I’m sorry for your loss. No one deserves to see their loved ones perish like that.”
Even though it’s better than not knowing...
Moving closer towards the door, you place a gentle hand against the wooden surface. Your gaze turning somber as you meet Natasha’s gaze once more. Maintaining eye contact even though you were speaking to the room as a whole. “Maybe the people we should have been protecting the Earth from were you.”
You don’t wait for a response as you’re already gone. The thunderous echo of the door slamming behind you being all that was left of your presence.
You find Thor outside with an anthropomorphic raccoon. Something that barely causes you to pause as you settle down beside the god. Your gaze remains level with the horizon even as you felt Thor’s gaze on your face. His electric blue eyes like a weight against your skin.
His deep rumbling voice soon breaks the silence. “Y/N.”
A silence settles over the three of you. Your gaze never wavering from the setting sun. The silent fields rolling with the wind. A hollowness exuding from the world that left your stomach churning with nausea.
“Is the Man of Iron, all right?” Thor breaks the silence once more. His deep voice is uncharacteristically soft. “I haven’t seen him.”
At the question, your mouth thins into a line. Finally breaking your gaze with the horizon as you met Thor’s. “Tony isn’t here, Thor.”
The revelation causes Thor to reel back. His shock etching itself across his features. “Friend Stark was dusted?”
You shake your head; trying to ignore the pain that struck your chest at the very thought. “No, Thor. He went after Thanos with Peter.”
The God of Thunder’s brow furrows. “So you do not know if he lives?”
You shake your head once more. “No, Thor. I don’t know if Tony is alive or not. I may never know what has happened to him.”
There’s another moment of silence before another voice speaks up. Your gaze shifting towards the raccoons. Deep brown eyes, that reminded you so much of Tony, stare back at you.
“He’ll be all right. If he’s in space then that means he’s run into my team.” His pointed snout looks back towards the sky with a hint of longing across his face. “They’ll take good care of him.”
At his words, a breath of relief falls from your lips. Your shoulders loosen at the sheer confidence within the raccoon's tone. That is until Thor interjected once more.
“But what if they were dusted too, Rocket?’
There was no answer. Only the silence of the world, a world that would never be the same, settling over the three of you. Your eyes once again returning towards the sky.
All with different levels of longing interlaced within.
Staying in Wakanda was stifling. While it was a beautiful country with astonishing marvels, you couldn’t help but be weighed down by everything. From the silent grief that permeated the air because T’Challa was gone. To the dark looks directed towards the sky whenever an airship flew overhead. Not to mention being surrounded by Rogers and his team.
Pepper’s arrival was like a breath of fresh air. You weren’t sure you were still capable of smiling, with true joy, before she appeared. Her bright blue eyes meet your gaze across the yard. Her own bright smile, with unshed tears filling her gaze, appearing as she rushed towards you. Her slim arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. The familiar floral scent of her perfume calming you.
You hadn’t been around when Pepper had seen Steve again. Hadn’t seen the colossal fallout that had occurred but you had definitely heard about it. Thor had been all too happy to tell you the tale of ‘Lady Potts decimating her star-spangled foe’. Something you were more than eager to hear.
Which is how Pepper had found the two of you. Laughing over Thor’s depiction of events. Her own agitation quickly falling away at your joy. And, while it didn’t last long, you were thankful to Thor for allowing it to appear all the same.
Returning to the United States, to New York City, was like stepping into a nightmare. At least while you were in Wakanda you could pretend that billions of people weren’t dead. That it hadn’t been something that affected half of the universe. Seeing the empty cars on the side of the road. The few people littering the street looking lost. Faces pale and emotionless as they shuffled aimlessly from place to place.
It was a sight that you would never forget. Yet another thing that you were going to have nightmares about.
The Compound wasn’t any better. Echoes of days long passed hitting you with full intensity as you made your way through the silent halls. The laughter that sounded so foreign to your ears now ghosting across your ears on a phantom breeze. Distant chattering that only seemed to fade the closer you got to it. Memories haunted the halls of the Compound. But nothing would ever be worse than the Tower. The place that you and Tony had built together. A great marvel that was forever placed within Manhattan's skyline. Knowing that he wouldn’t be there when you arrived caused you to stay away.
You didn’t think you would be able to handle those memories. Of lazy Sunday afternoons lounging around in pajamas while Pepper was taking various calls. Tony doing his best to make her break away from her no-nonsense CEO facade. Only succeeding once before Pepper shot him a withering look that held no heat behind it. The sound of his laughter bouncing off the hallways as he cheated at Mario Kart. Your own expletives joined in soon after as you were hit, once again, with a shell.
Knowing that the Compound did this to you; even though you rarely visited it. How could you possibly set foot in the Tower? The one place that had made you feel truly at home.
Drinking helped ease the pain. Helped quiet the memories that kept surfacing as you stayed in the Compound. You know that it wouldn’t be what Tony wanted. That he never wanted you to have the problems he had, but as the days passed. As the pain, the grief, continued to grow, you found it harder and harder to resist the amber liquid. Tony wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t there to tell you a joke when you were feeling low. He wasn’t there to tell you that he loved you in his own special way.
He wasn’t there.
So you settled for the numbness and the sound of his voice in the distance. Always there in a dark corner but never obtainable.
Anything would be better than not having him with you.
On the second week of your stay in the Compound, the others appeared. The sound of the QuinJet only pulling your gaze towards the yard for a moment before you looked back down. You knew that they would be coming sooner or later. The world needed protectors. And they had just lost their greatest. The people of Earth needed to have someone to look towards.
It was only a matter of time before they called on them.
You didn’t even raise your gaze when you heard them enter. Their voices petering off when they noticed you sitting on one of the many couches with a StarkPad in hand.
“You didn’t think I would just let you stay here by yourselves, did you?”
Your question was only met by silence. You were hoping that they didn’t question you on how you knew. That they didn’t notice the dark shadows under your eyes from lack of sleep. Or the empty decanter on the glass table before you.
Steve was the one to respond. “We didn’t but I wasn’t aware it was going to be you, Y/N.”
Glancing up, you narrow your eyes. “Well, I’m the only Stark left so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, Rogers.”
You don’t wait for a response, suddenly finding it too hard to be in the same room as him, as you stand. Trying to ignore the way the room spun ever-so-slightly at the motion. Easily gathering your bearings as you made your way out of the room.
Trying to ignore the way an emerald green gaze watched you as you left.
You weren’t surprised when she found you-- annoyed maybe but not surprised. Sometimes you hated that she knew you so well. Hated that she could still read you like a children's book.
You didn’t bother to turn towards her as she stepped onto the terrace. Your gaze remains level with the horizon. Hoping, no matter how much it hurt, that you would see something. Anything. A single sign that Tony was coming back to you. That he was alive.
Feeling her warm presence settle beside you should have caused you to tense. Should have caused you to move away at the closeness. It should have caused you to do a lot of things but you don’t. You simply stay rooted to the spot as Natasha leveled her gaze towards the side of your face. Her keen green eyes took in everything that she could see.
You tried not to tense when her eyes flickered down towards your hands. Towards the glass that, by some miracle, hadn’t broken due to your tight grip. The amber liquid glowing softly underneath the moonlight.
She doesn’t say anything for a long while. Simply standing with you underneath the moonlit sky. The only sound passing between you being your breathing.
Until her husky voice finally breaks the silence. “He wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself, Y/N.”
You tense. “And how would you know what Tony wants Natalia?”
You didn’t have to be looking at her to see the wince that you caused. Your own heart feeling heavy at your acidic retort. But, unlike most people, she didn’t shy away from your anger. She didn’t even seem to be fazed by it.
“Because, despite what you may think, I still consider you and Tony my family. I know how much Tony loves you, Y/N. I know how much you love him.” She grows silent for a moment before she continues. Her tone much softer than it was before. “And I know how much I love you.”
Your eyes slip shut at the quiet admission. A painful lurch of your heart telling you what you had been trying to ignore for the last two years. That you love Natasha Romanoff. That you always would… no matter what.
“That’s not fair,” you whisper. Finally turning your gaze to meet hers. “You can’t just come back into my life after two years and say those things to me. You can’t just say you love me like it’s going to fix anything.”
Her eyes flash. Turning razor sharp before your eyes as she steps closer. “It could change everything, Y/N.” Emerald green implores you to listen to her. To actually hear and understand what she was trying to say. “I love you, Y/N Stark. You are the love of my life. You are the only love of my life. I hate myself for hurting you. For breaking us apart because I couldn’t see the bigger picture. You are the only woman that has ever made me feel cherished. The only person that has ever made me feel truly loved.”
You shake your head. “You left, Natasha.”
“Because you told me to,” Natasha cries. Her green gaze grew even brighter because of unshed tears. “Do you think I wouldn’t have stayed? That I wouldn’t have fought tooth and nail to keep you? That I wouldn’t have let this whole world burn if it meant I could be with you for one more moment? You told me to leave, Y/N. I had already broken enough that day. I wasn’t going to stay and break your heart even more.”
“And you think this time will be any different?” You ask with an incredulous frown pulling your brow down. “You think that I don’t have nightmares about my parents death? That I don’t see my mother being murdered while my father couldn’t do anything but watch? You think that I’m not haunted every single fucking day that the love of my life kept that from me. That you lied to my face about one of the single most important things in my life.” Moving away, after setting your glass down, you run a hand through your hair. Your mouth thinning into a line. “You don’t think I wanted you to stay too?”
At your admission, Natasha moves towards you. Her gaze desperate as she took your hand in hers. “This time I will, Y/N. I won’t let you go again. Doing so last time almost killed me. I promise that I won’t ever lie to you again.” She shakes her head as she takes another small step closer, her hand resting gently against your cheek. “I promise that I’ll love you the way you should be loved until our last dying breaths.”
Your eyes flutter shut at the touch. It had been too long since you had felt her. Felt the way her fingertips ran across your cheek. The simple elegance that she always exuded being interlaced with her love for you. But you couldn’t forget what had happened. Your heart lurching in your chest as you remember the sting of betrayal once more.
Pulling away from her, you take a few steps back and fold your arms over your chest. You needed to have distance between your bodies. You wouldn’t be able to think clearly if she was near.
“I need time to think, Natasha.” You finally say after a tense stare off. “I need to come to terms with a lot of things in my life.”
Nodding, Natasha takes a small step back. Even though it looked like everything in her body was telling her to move towards you. Her green gaze glowed with a gentle warmth. “I’ll wait for as long as you need, Y/N. I’ll be damned if I lose you again.” Turning away from you, Natasha pauses at the door. Her gaze meets yours once more with a small smile quirking her lips. “And, just so you know, I had nothing before I found this family. Before I found you.”
Then she was gone. Leaving only you and the echoing of her words behind.
You haven't truly spoken to Natasha since the exchange. She had kept true to her word about waiting for you. Her gaze always finds yours the moment you enter a room she was in. Always making it clear that you could approach her whenever you wished to. Though she never forced her presence onto you. Maintaining a respectable distance from you at all times. Not far enough for you to not know she was there but not close enough for you to feel crowded.
You had tried to come up with ways why you couldn’t let her back in. Her betrayal being the main factor but even you knew that it wasn’t valid any longer. Even Tony had told you to look past it. That Natasha was so head over heels for you that her reasons had been honorable. Severely misguided, maybe, but honorable.
Oh, Tony, if you were here I wouldn’t feel so lost. You would just tell me what to do. Give me your patented smirk and berate me about my head being up my ass. Lowering your gaze, you run a frazzled hand through your hair. If I get one sign that you’re alright I’ll give her one more chance. I’ll make it work because I know that this is what the universe wants. That you returning to me is a sign that I’m supposed to be with Natasha.
At your eternal declaration, you glance towards the sky. Hope fills your chest as you observe the moonlit sky. Only to quickly be crushed as the minutes ticked by and nothing happened. Your heart breaks even more in your chest at getting your hopes up.
Stepping back from the railing, you decide that it would be best if you headed in. Maybe drown your sorrows with a few glasses of whiskey before turning in for the night. Pressing your hand against the smooth glass of the door, you have to squint at the sudden light from behind you. Your eyes barely being able to focus through the brilliant blaze. Glancing behind you, your eyes widen at the sight of a spaceship being placed down onto the ground. Your breath catching in your throat as you leapt into action.
You didn’t even register your mad dash through the Compound. Didn’t notice the confused looks or the shouts of your name. Didn’t register the cold grass against your bare feet as you rushed across the lawn. All you could see was the spaceship.
All you could see was the hatch opening and two figures exiting.
All you could see was the exhausted face of your older brother. His dark brown eyes meet yours through the darkness. Relief flooding his expression as he hobbled towards you. Disconnecting from the blue arm that was keeping him steady.
All you could register was the feeling of having him in your arms again. Your nose pressing into his neck as you clung to him. Soft sobs rip from your throat as his calloused hands gently run through your hair.
It was like a mantra that you brokenly repeated over and over again. Each time making it even more real that Tony was actually there with you. That he wasn’t gone. That you could still see, touch, and hear him.
His answering response never failed to bring more tears cascading down your cheeks. “I’m here.”
You could hear the others as they approached you. By the tensing of Tony in your arms you know that Rogers was at the front. Pulling back, you touch Tony’s face. A soft sob falling from your lips at how emaciated he looked.
Offering him a watery smile, your thumb gently rubbing against his cheek. “We’ll have to get some food for you. I don’t think the space diet suits you, Tones.”
He offers you a small smile in return. The familiar spark reigniting in his gaze before fading away. His next words came out in a dull whisper. “I lost the kid.”
You didn’t know what to say to that. Your own shock filled you as the devastation in Tony’s eyes became apparent. You had known for quite some time that Tony thought of Peter like a son. That Tony would do anything to keep him safe. You viewed Peter as a little brother you always wanted. A warm presence that filled your life with meaning once more. His childish antics brightening your day and bringing a smile to your face. Knowing that he was gone? That you would never hear his horrible jokes again? Or his anxious rambles? It broke your heart. For both losing Peter and for Tony having to witness it.
“I’m sorry, Tony.” You shake your head. “He was a good kid.”
“Yeah he was.”
Opening your mouth, you’re about to respond but a shrill cry breaks through. “Tony!”
Turning, you could see Pepper rushing towards you both. Her blue gaze locked with Tony as she ran. Without thinking twice you move aside as Pepper takes your spot. Moving away to give her and Tony some privacy. Or however much one could get in an open lawn.
Not realizing how close you were to the others, you flinch at the sudden presence at your side. Your gaze meeting Natasha’s. Her green gaze filled with warmth and happiness. A small smile quirking her lips as she observes the scene before her. Pepper’s strong hold on Tony not wavering in the slightest even as Rhodey appeared too. Both taking their turns in showering the genius with hugs.
Shifting, your hand gently brushes the back of Natasha’s. Her eyes shifted towards yours for a moment before returning front and center. Biting your lip, you deliberate on what to do. As Natasha had clearly just given you the sign that the ball was in your court. That however you reacted to this situation would be all up to you.
You could step away. Pretend like nothing had happened. That it had been a simple accident and nothing more.
Or you could take her hand and finally accept what your heart was screaming at you. What it had been trying to tell your stubborn mind for the last two years. That Natasha Romanoff was the love of your life and you were never going to find anyone like her. That despite all this tragedy you could learn how to be happy again because she was by your side.
I did promise the universe, you muse with amusement dancing across your mind. And I don’t like breaking promises.
So, without breaking eye contact with the scene in front of you, you take Natasha’s hand. Allowing a small smile to quirk your lips at the way she immediately interlaced her fingers with yours. Noticing the warm smile that was now curling her lips through your peripheral.
Squeezing her hand, your heart leapt in your chest at the answering squeeze in response. Your body singing with happiness at having Natasha returned to you.
Despite everything, despite all the hardships you would now have to face, you would be able to do so.
As long as you had Natasha by your side you could get through anything.
And nothing would ever change that.
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, violence, gun use, suicidal references (please message if you think I need to add any more!)
TAG LIST: @chicken-wang09 @ima-gi--na-tion @severepeanutartisanhands @madamvirgo @wickedmuses @ali-lie @madamevirgo
For previous chapters please see my pinned post!
This has not been proof read, please be kind!
You and Nat were cuddled together on the couch watching some random show until you started to feel sleepy. She’d just got home from a mission and you’d waited up for her like always, having a deep need to see that she was alright as soon as she got home. You’d recovered from your injury, but took some time away from missions so you could get back into shape and keep up with your training. 8 weeks was a long time to lazy about. You’d watched as the team came and went, each coming home from their missions, most the time graze free but sometimes not so much. You’d seen a lot in the few weeks of watching the door from the sofa, waiting for each Avenger to return safely. It was like your care for them had amplified as soon as they all knew about you and Natasha being together, and how every single one of them privately told you how pleased they were to see you two together.
Steve came home with a torn suit, some small cuts and bruises that you tended too, much to Natasha’s disdain.
And then there was, Peter. Oh, young Peter, he was the worst for it. He would normally go home to his Aunts where he actually lived rather than the compound, but when he knew he looked like shit, really beaten and bruised, he came to the compound to clean up first so his Aunt May wouldn’t worry as much if she saw him. You helped him every time, to the point where he would actually call you before he arrived or searched for you once in the compound. You saw him like a little brother, always giving him the disappointment speech before asking for the dirty details of what he’d done, laughing when he told you he’d hung them upside down by his webs.
“GUYS!” You heard Tony shout throughout the compound walls. “FRIDAY, wake everyone immediately!”
The AI sounded her alarm, the sound ringing out in every room, the sounds of angry and tired groans following.
“Tony! Shut that thing off!”
“First of all, she has a name. Second, emergency! Get up!” He shouted back, before sitting himself on the sofa next to you and Nat. You looked at each other, brows raised before turning back to him, with a questioning look.
The rest of the team dragged themselves out of their rooms, dropping on the sofas around you, waiting angrily for Tony to tell them why he’d demanded them rise from their deep slumber.
“So, word on the street is Loki’s in town, town being Earth. He has the tesseract. Not quite sure what he’s planning on doing with it.” Was all Tony said once everyone was sat. No one spoke, all groggily trying to take in the information just given.
“First of all, who is Loki? Second, tesseract? Third, I’m getting a bad vibe, so I’m assuming this Loki dude is going to do something bad, right?” You asked, earning a snort from Natasha next to you at you clearly not understand anything Tony just said.
“Loki is Thors brother-“
“Adopted brother.” He butted in, making that very clear.
“The tesseract, it’s basically like a box that holds a very very old and powerful stone. There’s 6 of them around the universe, all hidden so no one can find them all and use them.” Natasha attempted to explain in the simplest way possible, which did kind of help. Though you didn’t like the idea of what could happen if someone were to get these six powerful stones together. It couldn’t be anything good by the sound of it.
“Do we know where he is?” Steve chipped in, finally awake enough to contribute to the conversation.
“Surprisingly yes. Germany. We need to get him before he does anything stupid.”
With that, they all stood, and you were the only one left on the couch. It almost made you sad that you weren’t going, but then you remembered everything they’d just said, and by the sounds of it, you definitely weren’t qualified for this type of job. Adopted God, tesseracts, who knows what else. Yep, you definitely should sit this one out, and they knew where the guy was, it shouldn’t be that hard if Tony isn’t worried about it, right?
As you watched them leave, the more you thought about it. What if this Loki guy had an army with him that they didn’t know about? Not that you’d be much help, but still. Something felt off. The fact Loki wasn’t hiding, he was out in the open just waiting to be stopped. Bad guys didn’t do that. What did he have hidden up his sleeve?
You tried not to worry yourself with the thought, repeating that they were The Avengers and they had took on the craziest of things, a silly little adopted god wasn’t going to be the death of them. You took yourself to your room, trying to get some sleep before the team got back from their mission.
You were awoken by the sounds of voices in the hallway, and you instantly recalled what had happened a few hours ago. You climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of leggings and a baggy cropped T-shirt before venturing out to get the gossip.
“Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother!”
“He’s killed over 80 people in two days.”
You let out a chuckle as you approached, making everyone aware of your entry. The conversation silenced, as if you weren’t meant to hear any of it.
“Oh come on. You didn’t care when I was a Chef, but now I’m an actual agent you stop talking when I walk in the room?” You laughed, watching up to Natasha with the puppy dog eyes you knew would get you anything from her.
“No. Don’t even try it. Not this. Loki is the god of mischief and I am not letting you anywhere near him or this situation.” Natasha warned, refusing to look into your eyes knowing she’d give in if she did. You pouted, looking at the rest of the team who all held there hand up, not wanting to get on the bad side of Natasha Romanoff if they filled you in on the details she refused to give you.
“Fine! I’ll go sit in my room like a child!” You stormed off, just like a kid, opening your door but not entering it, giving it a good slam to make it seem like you had returned to your room.
“Why didn’t you just let her stay?” You heard someone say, being to far away to fully recognise the voices that spoke.
“Because she’ll get hurt. I know she will, and I’m not having that again. She isn’t trained to do this kind of stuff Tony, and I know you don’t want to see her in another hospital bed just as much as I don’t.”
Your heart clenched at the words. They were protecting you, but you wanted in! You didn’t want to be left out of the crazy drama. If they weren’t going to tell you, maybe you should just go to the crazy guy himself. It was a bad idea, you knew it, but you couldn’t stop your feet as they took the hallways to the stairs, leading you down to the the lower floor to cell you knew they’d be keeping him in. You finally were able to stop yourself just as you hit the doorway. Should you be doing this? No. Are you going to anyway? Yes.
“You know, I’m in a cell that the Hulk can’t even escape. You have no need to fear me.” You heard. Damn, he was good. You weren’t even in the room and he knew you were there. You remembered what Natasha had told you, he was the God of mischief, which also meant he liked to play tricks. But so did you, and funnily enough, you were feeling a little mischievous today.
“Hello.” You said in a sweet voice as you stepped through the door, hands behind your back, showing yourself as the sweet and innocent type all mothers loved.
“Hello.” He smiled back at you. He didn’t seem like much of a threat. He dressed weird though, and his long black hair was slicked back. Kind of a gothic vibe.
“I’m Loki, and you are?”
“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” You walked towards the window, and he stepped closer. You didn’t feel scared. If anything, you felt almost happy. Something about him just made you feel joyful.
“Are you suppose to be down here, Y/N? Something tells me you’re not.”
“Probably not, but I wanted to meet you. You’re the topic of conversation up there, but I’m not allowed in those group chats.” You laughed, and Loki joined you through the glass. “So, what did you do to be locked up in there?”
“Well, I stole the tesseract from my fathers vault.”
“Oh, that seems like some underlying daddy issues.”
He let out a wave of laughter, letting himself fall the the group, holding his stomach as he wheezed at your comment. You let yourself sit on the floor too, directly opposite, the only thing separating you being the glass cell he was locked in.
“Yes, something like that.”
“Are you bored? Want to play a game?” You asked, truly wanting to see the trickster at work.
“What type of game?”
“Hmmm, how about... charades? We each try to mimic an Avenger and we have to try guess who it is.”
“Oh, I’ve got one, guess this.”
Loki stood from where he was sat in front of you, messing his hair slightly before puffing out his chest and holding out his arms.
“I am a god, do not defy me!” He put on a ridiculously deep voice, walking around, pretending to throw something and it come back to his hand like a boomerang.
“Oh! Oh! That’s Thor!” You pointed and laughed at his attempt. “My turn!”
You squat down, fisting you hands but left your index and pinky finger out and pretending to shoot at things with invisible webs.
“Ah, I know him!” Loki scratched his head for a moment, face emotionless in concentration before a smile came back and he pointed at you. “It’s that spider boy!”
You fell to the floor in tears of laughter. Spider boy. It did suit better, after all, Peter was hardly a man.
“I mean, I’ll give you the point, but it’s spider MAN.”
“Oh, please. You are more of a man than that prepubescent child.”
You were back in a fit of laughter, Loki joining with you as you both made jokes about each Avenger. You meant no harm by it, it was just funny comments on their silly outfits and weird hero names. You didn’t bring up Natasha though, and surprisingly neither did Loki.
“I should head back before they realise I’m down here. I’ll come see you again soon! Thanks for cheering me up, Loki.” You said as you stood from your seat on the floor.
“The pleasure is all mine, Y/N. I’d love to continue our chat soon. Have a pleasant evening.” He waved you off as you left, and you silently went though the whole conversation in your head. He hadn’t played any tricks, he hadn’t fooled you at all. He seemed like a normal man, having a joke around with... a friend. Did you just befriend the God of mischief?
You heard footsteps up ahead, and panic set in. No one was suppose to be down here. You ran for the nearest door, shoving yourself inside before silently pushing it closed. They walked straight past you thankfully. You gave it a few more seconds, until you couldn’t heard their feet anymore, before you let yourself out. You heard voices coming from the same room you’d just left Loki in, and your curiosity got the better of you. The next thing you know, you’re stood just behind the door way, listening to whoever had gone to speak to your new friend.
“There’s not many people who can sneak up on me.”
“But you figured I’d come.” Natasha. Oh god, what was she doing down there? You wanted to go in, but you knew better.
“After... After what ever whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a barm, and I would cooperate.”
“I want to know what you’ve done to Agent Barton.”
“I’d say I’ve expanded his mind.”
“Once you’ve won. Once you’re kind of the mountain, what happens to his mind?”
What happened to Clint?
“There’s this love, Agent Romanoff.”
“Love is for children, I owe him a debt.”
Ouch. That hit deep.
“Before I worked for SHIELD, I- well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn’t care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELDS radar in a bad way, Agent Barton was sent to kill me. He made a different call.”
You didn’t know Clint and Natasha had met that way...
“And what will you do if I vow to spare him?”
“Not let you out-“
“Oh no but I like this! Your world in the balance and you bargain for one man?”
“Regimes fall everyday, I tend not to weep over that. I’m Russian, where I was.”
“And what are you now?”
“It’s really not that complicated, but I got red in my ledger and I’d like to wipe it out.”
Why was she being so open with him? She refused to let you in on the topic but yet was telling him so much about herself!
“Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Dreykov’s daughter? Sao Paolo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping. It’s gushing red and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child of prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill, in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors but they’re a part of you, and they will never go away.”
There was a bang in the room that made you jump, pushing your hand against your mouth to stop the sound of the gasp you inhaled.
“I won’t touch Barton, not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear, and then he’ll wake just long enough to see his good work. And when he screams I’ll split his skull! This is my bargain you mewling quim.”
You heard Natasha’s whimpered from the doorway, and it took everything in your power not to storm in there and slit his throat for ever threatening her as he did.
“You’re a monster.” You heard her shaking voice, followed by his deep chuckle.
“Oh no, you brought the monster.”
“So, Banner. That’s your play?” You couldn’t hear any of the horror or sadness in her voice anymore. Had she really just fooled the god of mischief?!
You heard footsteps again, walking out in the opposite direction of where you stood.
“Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I’m on my way. Send Thor as well.”
You peaked through the doorway, just enough to see Natasha turn back to Loki with the smallest hint of a smirk on her face.
“Thank you, for your cooperation.”
And then she was gone. You could stop yourself from snickering by the door, making Loki spin in your direction, his eyes landing on yours. You still felt no fear though. Maybe you were just that good of an agent?
“She got you there.” You giggled, leaning against the frame.
“Quiet, little one.”
Little one? I’m twenty fucking six?
You gave him your signature smile before heading back upstairs. You weren’t being left out of the conversation this time, not after ease-dropping on that shit show.
You got to the lab mid conversation, slipping through the door unseen by the team, standing silently in the back.
“Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to-“
“Where? You rented my room.”
“The cell was just incase-“ Fury started but was interrupted again.
“Incase you needed to kill me. But you can’t, I know, I tried.”
The room fell heavy with silence at his admittance.
“I got low, I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spat it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk! You want to know my secret agent Romanoff, you want to know how I stay calm?”
“Dr. Banner.” You saw as each person went for this gun, absolutely amazed that they would so easily take out their friend if they had to. You couldn’t do that.
“Put down the scepter.”
Bruce handed it over to Natasha instantly, seeing its blue glow brighten at his touch. A beeping began from the computer behind you, making everyone notice your presence in the room.
“Sorry kids. You don’t get to see my party trick after all.” Bruce mumbled as he walked to the computer.
“I’ve for it. I’ve located the tesseract.”
It was as if all hell broke loose right then and there.
Thor was demanding he take it back to Asgard where it rightfully belongs. Steve and Tony were arguing about god knows what. Natasha was giving you a look so harsh you didn’t dare even glance at her. You turned to the computer, seeing Bruce behind it and stepped up beside him.
“I tried it before.” You placed a hand over his. “Ending it all. Life’s pretty shit when you really think about it. But I’m glad I’m still here, and I’m glad you are too. It gets hard, and it’s harder when you have no one to talk to, no one who understands. I have demons in my head, you have a giant green guy in yours. If you ever need to talk, about anything, I’m here. Please remember that.”
He put his other hand over yours, gentle squeezing and gave you a smile in thanks. You knew you didn’t have to go into detail, if someone had tried to take their own life, they knew the struggle. You and Bruce had that in common.
You left the room before your attendance could be brought up, you weren’t needed anyway. Maybe you’d go back and chat with Loki?
“Back again so soon, little one?”
Again with the ‘little one’?
“Bored. They talk about things I don’t understand, you’re more fun.” You smile at him, remembering this time the tricks he attempted to play on your girlfriend. She was smart, but so were you, you wouldn’t let him try to manipulate and fool you, not that you actually believed he would, for some unknown reason.
You heard gunshots from the floor above, ducking at the sound of the bullets vibrating the metal around you.
“Hide, Y/N!” He yelled, stood in his cell. You ducked down in a corner, silently wishing you had a gun on you to protect yourself from whoever, or whatever, was shooting in the building.
Thor came running through the door moments later, Loki’s cell door opening just at that moment.
“No!” He shouted, running to try and push him back in, but the Loki you saw glitched like a hologram, sending Thor to the floor with a thud, the door locking shut behind him. That’s when you noticed the real Loki by the pad that controlled the cell.
Craft mother fucker.
More gunshots went off around you, getting closer, deafening to anything that was said between the two brothers. Before you knew it, Loki was gone. You crawled out from your hiding spot, Thor clocking you straight away.
“I’ll find him.” You said, running out the door as Thor shouted his protests.
But if Loki wanted you dead, you’d be dead by now.
A/N: I know this isn’t how the scene played out, but I needed it to fit into my story, and well... this is fanfiction.
MORE COMING SOON!
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Screw The Pancakes
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Imagine: Waking up with your beautiful wife, Natasha
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Kitten!Reader
Imagine: You're a cat mutant and Peter brings home another cat
Wish You Well
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Endgame Spoilers
Imagine: Remembering Natasha
24 notes · View notes
Lost and Found
Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Total Word Count 3.1K
A/N - This is kind of based on an excellent request for a story where Natasha recruits a new Avenger. To that Anon, I know this isn’t your request, I loved your idea too and I’ll try it more exactly at a later point. I hope you enjoy this in the meantime
It wasn’t surprising that the busy train station made you feel uncomfortable. Officially, you were now on the run. You didn’t look at the news coverage playing silently on the flat screens around you. You were the news coverage. You prayed the blurry footage of your stunt on the bridge hadn’t been sharpened up. You’d taken two trains already, crossing half the country just to lose yourself in the new city.
It wasn’t like you’d committed a crime. You’d stopped a school bus from careening into the deep river, it was technically heroic. The news anchors certainly seemed to think so. But, friendly manhunts could only last so long. You’d heard enough rumours about the vultures that hunted down anyone with potential enhancements.
This station was bustling, you tried to savour the anonymity of the crowd. Your heart thudded horribly in your chest despite the calm facade you tried to maintain.
Then, you felt what you had been dreading. Though your super strength may have been on full display to the world, your other talent was far less obvious. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up abruptly and you knew someone nearby was looking for you.
You followed the instinctive pull and found her immediately. Red hair in two neat dutch braids, a bright floral dress. The woman looked beautiful and unassuming as she read her book. You kept your gaze as covert as you could while you tried to make out the title. You nearly groaned aloud.
‘He’s Just Not That Into You.’
The stereotypical image of the single woman travelling to find herself was complete.
You tried to keep up your brisk walk, while you took her in fully. A puzzled frown sat lightly on her face as she flicked through the pages of the book. Your warning instinct had never been wrong before, and yet she seemed completely zoned out to her surroundings. You glanced again at the flat screens, wondering if she’d just been interested enough in the televised mystery to trigger your awareness.
The woman bit her lip in concentration and that was the last glance of her you stole before you left the station.
She played on your mind as you made your way across the city. You’d had a back up plan ready for a while now, ever since you’d decided to take the saving people thing seriously. You’d been keeping up the rent on a small apartment and now that foresight had paid off.
You left the building’s elevator, fumbling for the front door key that you’d never actually used before. Distracted, you bumped into the only other person in the hallway. You looked up and your jaw dropped. An apology stopped in your throat, shock washing other thoughts away.
It was the woman.
She smiled brightly at you, giving you an awkward little wave despite her arms being wrapped around a large cardboard box.
You’d been effectively hunted down in less than a day. This was one of the vultures. Your stomach lurched at the thought of what would happen next.
The woman immediately put the box on the ground.
‘I’m Natalie.’ She beamed at you. Your breath caught in surprise.
That definitely wasn’t her name and this definitely wasn’t what you’d expected.
Your hand fell automatically into her outstretched one.
‘Sorry.’ You tried not to give anything away, unable to assess the danger you found yourself in. ‘I didn’t expect someone else to be moving in today.’
‘You’re new in town too?’ Natalie’s eyes widened hopefully.
‘Yeah.’ You muttered, cursing yourself for giving any truths away.
‘That’s Awesome.’ Natalie stressed the word, touching the end of one of her braids.
You tried not to bristle at the falseness of it, standing stiffly.
‘Could you help me?’ Natalie prompted after a moment of silence, gesturing to the box. ‘You look stronger than me.’
‘Sure, I can try.’ You said carefully, faking a heave as you lifted the box. You tried to imitate a stagger under the weight of it.
You caught the flash of confusion on Natalie’s face at your lack of strength and, suddenly, a wave of satisfaction rushed through you. Whoever she worked for wasn’t completely certain of you and your abilities.
You huffed a breath as you walked the box into her apartment. It was filled with several other boxes already. You wondered how much it had cost to sublet it last minute. One of the reasons you’d chosen this building was so you could blend in with the mainly student neighbours who were all new in town. Clearly, they also accepted cash bribes readily.
You pretended to wipe your brow when you put the box down, committing fully to your act.
‘Nice to meet you Natalie.’ You said as you left her apartment, regaining yourself with some false cheer. ‘I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.’
Of that, you had no doubt.
You were still the top story on the news. The well meaning kids who had been on the school bus were starting a national search effort to locate you. The morning show hosts cooed over the younger ones who held up drawings of their best guesses as to your likeness.
Consequently, you didn’t leave the apartment for nearly a week. Only after a few days were you brave enough to start using the building’s small basement gym. You first went in the early hours of the morning, correctly assessing that it would be empty. You liked to burn off energy in a workout, and there was no way you’d be able to exercise at your normal level with other people around.
You returned the next night at the same time. In the second before you opened the door, you felt the familiar sensation of the hairs on the back of your neck raising. Natalie was already there, lifting weights in just a sports bra and leggings. There was a slight sheen of sweat on her exposed collarbones, she’d clearly been here for a while. Your eyes got stuck staring at her chest and it took a moment before you could drag them away. Her own eyes widened comically at the sight of you. Then, the friendly wave came out again.
‘Hi.’ She said brightly, like it wasn’t 3am on a Wednesday.
‘Sorry, I thought it would be empty in here.’ You mumbled.
‘I work weird shifts.’ Natalie rolled her eyes playfully. ‘You don’t mind sharing the space, do you?’
You absolutely did mind.
‘No, that’s fine.’ You said resignedly, moving to use a treadmill at a reluctantly slow pace. Before you could fish out your headphones, Natalie started to talk.
‘How are you finding the new apartment?’ She prompted, moving to sit on an exercise bike that was close to you.
‘It’s fine.’ You replied, trying to seem out of breath.
‘Are you new to the city?’ You heard the probing question for what it was.
You hummed vaguely. Natalie gave you an interested look and you found yourself caught up in her eyes as they assessed you.
Before she spoke again, her phone buzzed from its place in the corner of the room, resting on her towel.
You read the annoyance in her face and felt curious as to whether this was all still part of the act. You doubted it when you saw the look of resignation on her face at the message.
‘Work?’ This time, it was you who prompted her. You gave her a wry half smile.
Natalie glanced back at you, surprised at your observation.
‘Weird shifts.’ She repeated, matching your half smile.
‘I have to go.’ Her eye roll was less playful this time. There was something in the frustration that bled out of her. The flash of authenticity that threw the falsity of her Natalie persona into the sharp relief.
You shamelessly watched her ass as she walked away. A heat flushed through you that was equal parts attraction and affection. You felt like you’d really seen her for the first time.
Natalie didn’t return to her apartment for two nights. You pretended to yourself that you weren’t waiting to hear the only other door on your floor be unlocked.
You thought about her constantly. You thought mostly about that flicker of someone else that you’d seen. You wondered who she really was. You worried that this was all part of a larger scheme and you were falling for it.
Natalie arrived back in the middle of the day. You heard her footsteps in the hall and did the reckless thing that you had been daring yourself to do when she returned.
You left your apartment just as she was unlocking her door. You nearly walked right into her again. This time you were prepared. She was not.
The large black eye, standing against on her pale complexion, was extremely jarring. Your hand flew to your chest as you took an automatic step back. It took another moment to register that exhaustion that had only worsened the contrast of her face and the bruises. Natalie was dressed in the same leggings as when you’d last seen her, paired now with a large grey hoodie, zipped completely up.
‘What happened?’ The words fell from your mouth before you could realise that she wouldn’t answer honestly.
Natalie’s lips drew together and you saw her hand reflexively clutch at the unremarkable leather bag she was carrying.
‘Bar work.’ She muttered, looking downwards. ‘There was a fight, but I’m okay.’
The instinctual need to protect her overrode logic again. You felt an urge to use the strength you worked so hard to hide. But there was nowhere for it to go. You clenched your jaw and, instead, took an impulsive leap of faith.
‘Can I come in and make sure you’re okay?’ The worst part was already anticipating her answer.
You could see the flash of distaste for the offer in the half second before Natalie assessed it as a prime opportunity to assess you further. You didn’t let yourself care, your jaw clenched every single time you looked at the bruise.
‘Okay.’ She said hesitantly, playing at shy. You didn’t believe that act at all.
You followed her into the apartment.
‘Hungry?’ You asked, bringing your phone out. You’d had more than one takeout delivered since you’d become a recluse in a new city.
‘Yes.’ Natalie said. Here, at least, there was no doubt that she meant it. You called for pizza, while she disappeared into a backroom.
When she came out, she was wearing pyjamas. You tried not to flinch as the feeling returned. Natalie had returned full force to the mission of analysing you.
‘I really appreciate you coming over.’ Natalie said sweetly. You noticed immediately that her hair was loose now, it held waves from her usual braids. Without your warning instinct, her habit of twirling strands of it could have looked natural.
‘It was so scary at the bar.’ She told you quietly when you sat together on the sofa. You felt yourself drawn in to the vulnerability in her face. You swallowed reflexively, fighting the hot sympathy that rose up in you.
‘I feel horrible that someone hurt you.’ You told her honestly.
‘I feel better knowing I’m not alone.’ Natalie bit her lip. You felt sure that wasn’t true, you’d seen her face on the doorstep.
‘My pleasure.’ You agreed, wishing desperately that you weren’t falling for her.
Maybe it was her plan along, maybe this was you being tricked.
But, as you sat together sharing the pizza, you still answered Natalie’s questions.
The really dangerous part was how you looked forward to her own answers to your questions. You knew they were lies and you still searched for the kernel of truth in each one. You didn’t think her childhood pet was really a turtle, but you did think her family had been chaotic and absent.
You breathed in every change to her expression like it was fresh air. You wished her interest in you could be real too.
Natalie opened a bottle of wine, telling you she needed it after the long day. You didn’t resist, you actually enjoyed the way it loosened your tongue, how it made you braver with her.
You could sense her frustration as you avoided all discussion of your powers, you could feel her try and lead you into the topic, like a constrictor winding its way around unsuspecting prey.
The alcohol didn’t make you more honest about your secret, but it did make you bolder. You interrupted her carefully constructed story about a cheerleading camp abruptly, placing your hand on her knee. You liked the feeling of impulsivity in the face of her careful facade.
‘I hope no-one hurts you like that again.’ You told her seriously and simply. The words cut directly into the space between you.
There was the split second of confusion and then Natalie’s face schooled itself to neutral. You wondered if she knew how scared and defensive neutral could still look.
Her eyes were conflicted for another second, staring at you with an intensity that you hadn’t experienced before. It felt like static was running from your neck down your spine as she searched your gaze.
‘Thank you.’ She said carefully. ‘At least it’ll heal.’
You squeezed her hand once and then you left before doing something even more stupid.
The next morning, Natalie knocked on your door. She held two coffees from the nearby Starbucks.
‘Let’s really be friends?’ She asked when you opened the door. The voice sounded like Natalie, even the hairs on your neck told you it was not all genuine. But, you took the coffee.
Natalie saw you nearly every day for the next month. You watched her build natural meeting points into your day. The morning coffee, the late night gym. You took them placidly.
What you lived for was the times after she was called away. Now, she’d knock your door, bottle of wine in hand. You’d order the takeout.
The moment it happened couldn’t be overstated. But it was also as casual as a breath.
You sat relaxed on your sofa, waiting for Natalie to return with the tub of ice cream and spoons. Her phone buzzed in that way she would never ignore. She looked at it once, then she stopped in her tracks. When she put the ice cream down on the table in front of you, there was a beat.
Natalie sat next to you. You moved an arm around her. She leant in to your touch. The hairs on the back of your neck stopped standing up.
She’d stopped trying to find you.
You didn’t play your usual game of asking her what the text had said. For once, you didn’t want to know or see what lie she came up with. You knew it wasn’t a text she had wanted to receibe.
Natalie’s head rested sadly on your shoulder as she ate from the ice cream tub. She offered you the fudge bits when she found them.
The next evening, she did the same.
Seasons changed, and so did Natalie. Her fashion had been the most abrupt alteration. Though it had been passed off as part of the weather wardrobe change, the sundresses had been switched for leather jackets.
When you walked together, Natalie looked like the strong one. On the days she disappeared, chasing a text, she’d wear the braids. But, you would brush them out with your fingers when she returned. You didn’t ask about her work, she never asked why you didn’t want to get a job. Lots of things were unsaid.
When you got the courage to ask, Natalie told you that she had nowhere to go for Christmas. Selfishly, you hoped it was true, so that Christmas with you wouldn’t be second best.
You had to drag her one evening to buy the tree. She wore a red scarf that was yours. The only trees left were the small dregs after a busy day of holiday goers.
She looked at the skinny tree skeptically. But, you promised her it would be beautiful.
You decorated it together. Despite your best attempts, it wasn’t a masterpiece. You stood together in the dark, enjoying as the fairy lights illuminated her apartment. Natalie told you quietly that it was the first tree she’d ever had, and that made it special enough.
You bought her a gift. It was specially made and you worried about it whenever you weren’t with her. You left it under the tree a week in advance. Natalie looked at you funny.
‘I didn’t know you were going to get me something.’ She mumbles at your questioning look.
‘I don’t have Christmas with other people.’
‘Well this time you’ll have me.’ You assure her.
You’re in love with her.
You go to the gym alone the next morning. Most of the students have already left to see their families for the holidays. The building feels deserted, but it also feels intimate with just you and Natalie.
There’s a man wearing an eye patch standing in the gym. The hairs stand up on your neck yet again.
‘Are you going to take me in by force?’ You ask coldly and immediately, ready to fight. ‘What happened to the spy next door act?’
The man doesn’t say anything. His one eyes glances to the other side of the gym.
Natalie comes around the corner. Her face tells you everything. You can see the alarm as she realises you knew all along. For some reason, it is the worse betrayal. You can read the pain in her eyes, because you know her. She is the one who didn’t know you.
Natalie leaves the gym and Fury speaks again.
When you leave the Shield headquarters, it is peacefully. Fury will ask you again to join the agency, someday in the future. You would have said yes today if it wasn’t for that look you’d seen in Natalie’s eyes.
You leave your apartment for the last time, the vultures came and now you can go home.
You walk back through the same train station. It’s as busy as the first time you were here.
Now, the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you least expect it.
Natalie is on the same bench as before. Except, now she’s not Natalie. She’s the woman you know.
She’s pretending to read the novelty self-help book you had left wrapped under her tree.
‘She’s Actually Really Into You.’
When you stop in your tracks, she finds your eyes through the crowd of people.
She smiles because she found you.
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Стив: если бы тебе предложили 50 000 долларов, при условии, что человек, которого ты ненавидишь, получит 100 000, ты бы согласился?
Баки: конечно. Почему я должен отказываться от 150 000 долларов?
Стив: ладно, слушай сюда, маленький говнюк...
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Forgotten Love - part six: no longer one of them
chapter summary: the truth will set you free, if it doesn't kill you first. The team interrogates you and your past.
pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
warnings: language, mentions of torture, needles
A/N: sorry it's been a while but finally got around to finishing this chapter. Pls like, comment and reblog as always! :)🤍
You look around the blank, boxy room. Then down at your hands, where your wrists are chained to a table. Then down at your ankles, where they are chained to the chair you’re sitting on. It’s been at least thirty minutes since you were left in here by yourself, struggling in your restraints. Your breathing becomes rugged and you can’t hold down the panic rising within, no matter how hard you try. Even closing your eyes, all you see are them. In a sudden rush of emotion you manage to yank yourself free from each chain and stand, pushing the chair from behind you and sending flying back, hitting the wall and crashing to the floor. You look up to the wall opposite, noticing your disheveled reflection in the mirror, fists balled up tight. A one-way mirror, no doubt.
“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeat to yourself. Your hands fly to your hair, raking through it and grabbing while your chest heaves and your head spins. Steadying yourself with the table for a moment to calm yourself as best you can. You tread carefully towards the door but stop in your tracks, physically frozen in place as you try and place how many footsteps are heading towards you now.
There are seven of them. Three, you notice, stay at the door whilst the others carry on, presumably to whatever room is behind that mirror.
The door opens.
“What in the-” Fury begins, seeing you standing before him and noticing the mess you’d left. “Let me see your hands.” He brings up a gun that seems to glare straight at you, as if to say there’s no getting out of this. So, you show your hands.
Tony and Nat are behind him and Natasha walks to the chair that is on its side, picks it up and sets it back down at the table, then motions stoically for you to sit back down.
“Take a seat. We’re gonna be here for a while. And before you try anything stupid, don’t.” Fury states. You sit back down and suddenly notice the dryness of your mouth and throat.
The three of them now stand before you, looming over like the shadows of your past.
“There’s a lot to unpack here, so I suggest we start with whatever the hell just happened upstairs.” Tony begins. His face is forbidding, as are the others, and his arms are crossed.
You remain silent.
“This is the part where you start talking.” Your gaze shifts to meet a single, harsh eye. God knows he only needs one to get the job done.
“What Barnes said. Was it true? Did you help torture him as the Winter Soldier?” Natasha’s voice is demanding, needing.
“No.” You say, finally mustering up a word. “Well, yes. No and yes.”
“What do you mean no and yes?” Fury leans forward on the table.
“Cut the crap. Did you, at any point, help HYDRA in torturing Bucky?”
“Yes.” It came out as a broken whisper.
Behind the glass, Bucky takes in a sharp breath. Deep down he knew it was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it not to be.
Someone begins walking towards the door from the opposite room. Steve enters and switches out with Tony. Steve looks more disappointed than anything, which makes your heart ache more.
“Why? Why were you with them?”
“Just answer the question.” Steve closes his eyes in exasperation, letting his head fall forward. He can barely look at you.
“I was alone, back when I joined.” You begin. “At the time I was sheltering in an abandoned warehouse that was half blown to pieces. They found me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. So they took me in, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, a proper one. I thought they were good people, at first.” You’re looking down at your lap as you speak, not wanting to risk looking anyone in the eye.
“And how do we know this isn’t some bullshit story you’ve made up to get us to sympathise with you?” Nat chimes in, brows knit together by the thread of betrayal.
“For all we know you could still be one of them. Feeding everything back to them since you got here. Is that what you’ve been doing? Gaining our trust in order to have inside information? This whole goddamn time.” Steve is angry. More than you’ve seen him before. But it’s not the kind of anger that him and Tony might share when the other gets on their nerves, no. This anger is the one that comes from deep within you, that only shows when you’ve been stabbed deep enough in the back for it to come seeping out all crimson red.
“No, it’s not like that. I’m done with HYDRA, I promise.”
“Well that promise doesn’t mean much to us.” Fury comments.
“I know. But it’s all I have.”
Fury holds his fingers up to his ear. “Hill, bring it in.” A moment after Fury’s request she is heading round and into the room. She passes him a folded piece of paper.
“This,” he begins to unfold it. “was surprisingly easy to find. Inside a book? Really?” He leans onto the table and slides the paper forwards. You are now face to face with yourself; the file page you'd retrieved from the first mission. You rub your hands together, as if hoping for a genie to appear so you could wish for this to have never happened.
“That’s not me. Well, it is me. But it’s not who I am. The person you’ve come to know since I joined this team is the real me. I’m not that person.” You look back down at the photograph of your deadened self. “Anymore.”
“Care to explain?” Nat asks.
“After a while with HYDRA, I realised that some others from the rooms near me were being taken somewhere else. I didn’t know where, though; they wouldn’t tell us. Eventually I was the only one left, and none of the others had come back yet.” Your throat is dryer than ever. “They took me to a room. A dark one. And they sat me in a chair. Strapped me down. I could hear some screams from neighbouring rooms but they dismissed it, said people were hurt and they were treating them. They were lying, of course, but at the time I was naive enough to believe them. They stuck a needle in my arm and released an acidically blue liquid into my bloodstream. At first it was excruciating. It felt as though someone was searing my veins as it moved from my arm and into my chest, then up my neck and down my torso. Then it was everywhere. My mind was so clouded with pain, until it just… stopped. I felt numb. And after that, HYDRA turned me into their own personal weapon. Because I was their success. I was the one who survived. They had used a different serum on all twelve of us, trying to find one that worked. And it finally did. At first I felt special to have been the one that survived. Proud, even. But soon it turned into something more sinister, and I realised how lucky the others were…”
The silence in the room is deafening. To a point where you have to start shuffling in your seat just to rid it. It’s hard to gage anyone’s emotions at this point. Natasha leaves, silently, without glancing back. Though she doesn’t head towards the others behind the mirror, she walks away in the opposite direction. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest with the thought of having hurt her this much.
“So, you’re telling me, the serum we found on that mission last week hasn’t just been created? They’d already figured it out and used it on you?” Steve’s question is spoken as more of a statement, everyone already knowing the answer.
“Yes.” You whisper.
“And that’s where these powers came from? The serum?”
“Another supersoldier. ‘Cause we don’t have enough of those.” Fury scoffs. “And why do they always have to come from HYDRA?”
“The serum made you stronger and faster. But it doesn’t explain your extra power. Where did that come from?” Steve interrogates.
“The serum as well.” Your voice is weak and strained by guilt as you speak. “When they were recreating it they also… experimented with it. Once they knew they perfected the original serum they started tampering with additional elements and quantities. It wasn’t until me when one of them worked. The serum they’d created managed to grip on to certain sensory nerves and cells and increased the sensitivity, or… something about exteroreceptors, maybe? I can’t exactly remember the science of it all-”
“So, just like that, we’re supposed to trust you?” Steve cuts you off, his vigilant tone as unnerving as his stare.
“Send Barnes in.” Fury motions to agent Hill, who exits the room, only to return with him: the one person you thought could get you out of this situation.
Bucky keeps his head down, making sure to avoid any eye contact. You desperately want to yell the truth at everyone - the whole truth - but you know that wouldn’t be wise. Especially since they’re already sceptical of everything that’s coming from your deceiving lips. They would never believe that. He would never believe it.
Not until he remembers it all.
“Bucky, do you know if this is the truth?” Hill cautiously asks him.
“No, you don’t know, or no, it isn’t the truth?” Fury inquires.
“No, I don’t know.” He states, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. You can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s evident that these newly found memories haven’t treated him well. Especially since he’d started to take a liking to you, which he never let be known. He didn’t know what to make of it when he began to feel a strange, but strong, pull towards you. As if there was some invisible string that was pulling, connecting, the two of you together.
It frayed and snapped as soon as he remembered.
But knowing that he’d felt it in the first place makes his head hurt all the more.
“So, number 12, what is your real name?” Fury looks straight into your eyes, almost burning through your skull with his intensity.
“And don’t even think about lying to us again.” Steve snarls. You hesitate for a moment, drawing heavy breaths.
“My real name- my real name is Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Let’s put it to the test, shall we?” Fury proposes.
A few moments later, you’re being hooked up to a lie detector by Bruce. He then sits diagonal to you with the polygraph machine in front of him.
“We’re set.” He states.
“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?” Tony is now back in the room. A full house.
They don’t hesitate with the questions, getting straight into it, yes or no.
“Before you joined this team, were you a HYDRA agent?” Hill begins with. There is no way for you to escape this, no stopping the rollercoaster from plunging down as you reach the top.
“Do you still work for them?” Steve’s turn.
“Do you still associate yourself with them in any way?”
“Are you in contact with them?” Tony asks.
“Do you plan on going back to them? Becoming one of them again?” Steve begins again.
“No.” You answer through gritted teeth now.
“Bruce?” Fury chimes in, and all heads turn to him, as he reads the coloured lines on the paper.
“She’s telling the truth so far.” He confirms.
The questions, the interrogating, it continues for several more minutes. Questions like: Are you loyal to this team? Are you really here to make good of your past? Is that life with HYDRA over for good?
Yes, yes, and yes.
“Did you assist in the torture of a Seargent James Barnes whilst you were a part of HYDRA?” Fury reads from a sheet, making sure to leave no stone unturned. A stone that it feels as if he just threw at your stomach. You force your eyes upwards and to Bucky’s, brimming with sadness.
“Yes.” Your answer feels so sour against your tongue. You pry your eyes away and they fall to the floor once more.
“All true.” Bruce confirms once more.
“Last question.” Fury walks forward. “How did you manage to get through our system, without us finding any trace of who you really are?” He speaks slowly, deeply, sounding like he has gravel in his throat.
“The old me was classed as dead. I had nothing to my name, not even a life. And HYDRA didn’t make it their first priority to give me one. So, technically I was no one. It wasn’t that hard to create a completely new person. A clean slate, if you will.”
Everyone’s faces are stern, yet utterly mindfucked. No one knows what to think. Fury stands tall and motions his head to the door whilst looking at the others. Everyone exits the room in a disappointed silence.
Bucky is the last to leave. He stands, with his arms crossed and brows furrowed, directly in front of where you sit. The prolonged eye-contact is laced with an unknown, but oddly familiar, tension.
“Bucky, I-” As soon as you begin to speak he follows after the others and shuts and locks the door behind him.
Once again, you’re left with just yourself in the vacant room, besides the company of the chair, table and your infinite, anxiety-ridden thoughts of what the hell is going to happen to you now.
@buckysjuicyplums @901seconds @walkwithfluffyangels @infernal-fire @ohashley101 @mrs-fanfiction-2001 @buckys2thicc @freigeistundanderes
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Screw The Pancakes
Imagine: Waking up next to your wife, Natasha
The little voice pulled you out a slumber.
This time louder and more impatient. Looking through your eyelashes, you could zero in on a little girl who seemed to be a spitting image of both you and your wife.
This time now fully awake, you quickly snatched your daughter from the ground, lifting her over you. Her giggles filled the air while someone grunted next to you.
"What are you doing up, little missy?" You teased, planting sloppy kisses over her face. "It's pancake day!" She shouted, Saturdays were always pancake days.
You heard a soft groan from your left side, it belonged to your wife. The one and only Natalia Alianovna, your wife.
Putting a finger to your lips, you and your daughter watched as Tasha snuggled into your side, trying to nuzzle her head between your stomach.
Your daughter leant down carefully. "Mama?" She whispered softly, moving a bit of your wife's gorgeous red hair from her face. "Mom?" She asked again, this time tilting her head.
"How about you go downstairs and get out a bowl while I wake up your mother?" You pulled yourself up a little bit, lifting your little girl off your lap and back on the ground.
"Loki Doki!" She nodded enthusiastically, clearly excited about pancake day.
Once you watched her leave the room, you turned over to face the sleeping beauty. "Hey, Tasha, it's wakey time," you smile at her, caressing her cheeks lightly.
A small whine escaped her lips as you softly woke her to sobriety. "It's pancake day," You pushed your limits with the assassin, chuckling like your daughter had.
"Screw the pancakes." Your chuckle soon turned into a full laugh at the grumpy widow's morning bedside manner.
"Shut up," Natasha grumbled into the pillow, "You're too loud." You snatched her comfort pillow and watched as she groaned some more.
"Wake up, your daughter wants pancakes." You smirked at the mess of red hair in the black tank top snarled at you.
"Screw the pancakes…" She whispered once more before forcefully throwing her face into the mattress.
Note to self: It's impossible to wake up Tasha before 8 o'clock.
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, injury reference (please message if you think I need to add any more!)
TAG LIST: @chicken-wang09 @ima-gi--na-tion @severepeanutartisanhands @madamvirgo @wickedmuses @ali-lie @madamevirgo
For previous chapters please see my pinned post!
This has not been proof read, please be kind!
You were three weeks into your eight week recovery time, and you were sick. Natasha hadn’t left your side, which you really loved her for, but it was starting to irritate you. You couldn’t even get your own glass of water, and you were starting to feel like a child. You wanted to do things for yourself, not sit in your bed all day every day while she daunts on your every need. You were so grateful to her, that she would put everything aside to tend to you, but now it was time for her to go do her job, and give you just a little bit of space.
You’d asked Tony to send you Fury’s mobile number, and you’d rang him when Natasha was in the shower, unable to hear your conversation. You’d told him how Natasha needed to go back on to missions, no matter how much she protested. He was happy to put her back on the books, even made a joke of you being sick of her love and devotion, before you hung up. It wasn’t that you were sick of her, you were just sick of being treat like you were paralysed. You got shot in the shoulder, not the spine. You could still do everything for yourself, you just couldn’t move your arm and shoulder around too much.
You were lucky to be alive, you knew that. The doctor had said if it were just an inch down, you’d have bled out before the pilot could get you to the hospital. You understood why Nat felt the need to be next to you all the time, to make sure you were okay, she thought you weren’t going to be alive when she arrived at the hospital that day. She’d sobbed that to you.
“I’m going to kill him.” Natasha stormed into your room, face full of rage, eyes narrowed and fists clenched.
“Who?” You played dumb, you knew exactly why she was fuming.
“Fury! That fucker’s put me on another mission! I told him. I fucking told him that I needed to be with you! But no, no no, The Black Widow is needed for this specific mission. He says that every time the id-“
“Natasha.” You stopped her angry speech, patting the bed beside you. She let the tension drop from her shoulders as she followed your orders, sitting down on the mattress and looking at you with those mesmerising green eyes of hers.
“It’ll only be two days. I promise. I hate leaving you when you need me. After this one, I’m refusing any more until you are 100% better. I will not have you back in a hospital because you ripped open a stitch.”
“It’s okay! I’ll be fine! I’m sure Wanda wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on me for 48 hours.” You planted a kiss on her lips, feeling even more of that tension release.
“I have to go. I’ll make sure Wanda knows to keep checking in on you. Please be careful. I’ll be back soon.”
It was the same speech every time. She would be back in a couple days, that she’d have someone keep an eye on you, that you had to be careful not to hurt yourself. You’d had stitches before, you knew the script.
Natasha left for her mission with Clint and Steve, and you’d came out of your room to sit on the sofas in front of the TV. Bliss. No one asking if you were okay, if you needed anything, fussing with you. It was nice.
“Nat on another mission?” Wanda came in and sat beside you, taking the remote from your hand as you were flicking through the channels, trying to find something decent enough to watch.
“Yeah, she was not a happy chappy.” You grabbed the bowl of crisps from Wanda’s lap, sitting them in between the two of you before grabbing a handful.
“Does she knew it’s you?”
Your hand stopped as you went to shovel more crisps into your mouth. She knew. How did she know?
“Your thoughts are very loud, I didn’t mean to hear them.” There’s the answer.
“Please don’t tell her! I just-“
“I get it, Y/N. You need some time to yourself. Nat has been so protective of you since you were hurt, she just doesn’t want you to be hurt again. But I can see why you’re doing it.”
You smiled at Wanda, which she returned before it turned into a filthy smirk.
“Does she help you shower, too?”
You rolled your eyes before letting out a snort. Wanda had learned about yours and Natasha’s relationship at the hospital, seeing how much you needed to see Nat and how much it calmed you when she walked into the room. She’d only told you that she knew when Nat had her check up on you when she was forced onto her first mission since you’d came home from the hospital. It wasn’t awkward like you’d expected.
She just asked how long you’d been dating, if you were happy and told you she was pleased to see her two friends content together. It wasn’t that you needed anyone’s approval of your relationship, but hearing Wanda say that she was happy for the two of you warmed your heart.
“I am officially off for the next 4 weeks. Fury will not be sending me anywhere after the conversation I’ve just had with him.”
You were sat on your bed, knees up to your chest, and you couldn’t look at her. You felt terrible. You felt like a liar. If the shoe was on the other foot, you’d be furious, but you couldn’t keep lying to her.
“Babe, what’s the matter?” Natasha rushed to your side when you didn’t reply, but you couldn’t make eye contact, you didn’t want to see the hurt in her eyes when you told her the truth.
“It was me.”
“It was me.” You finally turned your head to see her. Natasha’s face full of confusion, not understanding your announcement.
“I was the one that told Fury to put you back on missions.”
There was a mixture of emotions you saw race through Nat’s features. Confusion, anger, sadness, pure rage, back to confusion.
“Why?” She whispered, and it fucking broke you.
“I-“ Seriously, why did you? Because you were a bitch who couldn’t let your girlfriend throw her love and devotion over you for a few weeks. “I just needed a bit of space, Nat.”
“You wanted space?” It wasn’t much of a question, more of her just whispering your words again to try and understand them for herself. Her back straightened but her eyes didn’t meet yours.
“You wanted me to leave you alone.”
“No. Nat, please don’t think that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for me-“
“You wanted me to stop caring for you?”
“Do you not want me around you?”
“Do you want to break up?”
Fucking hell, this is not what you were expecting.
“Then why?” Her whole body deflated, eyes filled with so much sadness, that it brought tears to your own eyes.
“Natasha I just wanted you to be you. And I needed to do things for myself. You were devoting all of your time on looking after me and leaving to no time for yourself! You love your job, don’t deny it. You love going out and fighting the bad guys, saving people. You needed that. I only asked Fury to put you on one mission, so you could go do something you loved to do, and I could make my own cup of tea for once. I didn’t intend for him to keep sending you out, but I saw the look in your eyes every time you came back. The worry of looking after me was gone. I needed you to be you, just a few times, before you came back and spent all of your time caring for me again.”
She stayed silent, fidgeting with her fingers, head down so you couldn’t see her face.
“Nat, please don’t be angry. I just...” You didn’t even know what to say.
Natasha’s head shot up, and you almost choked. The anger behind her eyes shocked you ridged. Nope, definitely not how you were expecting this to go, at all.
“Yeah, I love me job!” She stood from the bed, walking to the centre of your room before turning to face you again.
“But I love you more!”
That being said, she walked out the room, slamming the door behind her. Shit. That was the first time during your time dating that she had said those three words out loud. You both knew you loved each other dearly, but the words had never been spoken, until now.
The shock of the situation had you locked to your bed. You wanted to go after her, but you were stuck. Like the angry ‘I love you’ had sent a wave of cement over your body, drying instantly, not letting you move an inch.
The power over you washed away, and you’ve never ran so fast in your life.
~back in the living room~
“Yeah, I love my job... But I love you more!”
Everyone was struck silent as the scream. Had Natasha just- had she just told Y/N she loved her? Well, shouted it. Before anyone could even make eye contact with another, Natasha stormed into the room, pure rage written all over her face. She stopped the second she saw the group on the sofas, every bit of emotion wiping from her face before she continued out of the room.
“Did she just-“
You came racing down the corridor seconds later, sliding to a stop when you saw everyone’s shocked looks. You didn’t even need to saw a word before Wanda pointed to the door, where Natasha must have left through. You had to find her, had to let her know you felt the same, to say the words she’d screamed at you. Probably not as aggressively, but still said non the less.
“Natasha!” You shouted from the top of the stairs, seeing the whip of her red locks hitting the bottom floor. She looked up for a split second, and even from where you stood, two floors up, you could still see her tears.
“Not now, Y/N. I need some time.”
You fucked up. You shouldn’t have let her walk out of your room. You shouldn’t have asked Fury to put her on missions. You should have let her take care of you.
You walked back through the door, leaning against it as you dropping your head in to your hands for a second before remembering that all of your friends were sat on the sofas opposite. You knew they’d be looking at you, and when you opened your eyes, there they were. All those eyes full of pity and worry. You couldn’t deal with that right now. You wanted to run after Natasha, but you knew she needed time to process.
You dragged yourself through the living room, back down the hallway towards your room.
Was the last thing they heard you scream before you door slammed shut.
Natasha still hadn’t returned to the compound. It had been 5 hours since your conversation. Or argument? You weren’t question sure what to call it. Wanda had came to see if you were alright, to which you just told her you wanted to be alone, and she left. Clint had came by not long after, telling you he had never ever heard Nat tell anyone she loved them, and that she would have truly meant it. He went looking for her soon after his conversation with you. You wondered if he’d found her yet?
You’d changed into your comfy clothes, pulling on a pair of joggers and a soft hoodie, tying your hair up in a messy bun. You felt all of 1% better by doing that. You just wanted her to come home so you could tell her everything you wanted to say before she walked out of that door.
You’d turned to what your therapist had suggested whenever you felt like you were having a bad day. You’re writing. Letting your feelings flow out over the pages and turning them into lyrics. It wasn’t long before you were up at the piano on the higher level of the living room, pressing keys pointlessly until you found the right melody.
“First things first, I'ma say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been.” You sang out to yourself, thinking of the next lyrics to write down.
“Second thing second, don't you tell me what you think that I could be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea.” You heard from below you. Your head shot round to look over the railing, seeing Natasha sat on the sofa staring straight ahead, arms crossed over her chest. Yep, she was definitely still pissed off.
You didn’t know Natasha could sing, or make up incredible lyrics off the top of her head. Another thing to add to your long list of things you loved about her.
“I was broken from a young age.” You continued, not really sure what to expect.
“Taking my sulking to the masses.” She replied.
“Writing my poems for the few, that look at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me.”
“Singing from heartache from the pain. Taking my message from the veins. Speaking my lesson from the brain.” She was replying within seconds, somehow knowing the exact tune that you were playing.
“Seeing the beauty through the pain. You made me a, you made a believer, believer.”
“You break me down and build me up, believer, believer.”
Okay, that one hurt a little bit.
“Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain.”
Probably shouldn’t have sang that...
“My life, my love, my drive, it came from pain.”
“You made me a, you made me a believer, believer.” You both sang the end together, your voices harmonising perfectly, even if there was so much anger and agony running through them. You took your hands from the keys, letting the music stop and the room fell silent. Neither of you said a word, not that you were even quite sure what to say. Well, you knew what you wanted to say, but just weren’t to sure how to get the words out of your mouth. Not in this situation anyway.
“I’m sorry.” Was all you could say, but it was enough for Natasha to turn her head in your direction, although her eyes still didn’t meet yours.
Oh god, the silence was so loud.
“I wrote a song for you.” You tried, not really sure if she cared. You didn’t know how she was feeling, if she even wanted you to speak to her. She might have apologised, but that didn’t mean she wanted to talk.
“Really?” Finally, Natasha’s eyes met yours, the anger gone and replaced with wonder.
“Well, I’ve wrote a few actually. But this one is my favourite.” You held up your book as if she could see the words from where she sat. Dumb ass. Natasha stood, and you fully thought she was going to walk away from you making your tiny smile drop from your face, until you realised she was heading up the stairs towards you.
She took a seat next by your side in front of the piano, watching you with those fucking gorgeous eyes of hers. You could get lost in them forever, like a portal to another world that was created just for you.
“Oh!” You turned back to the keys, remembering the way your fingers fell for the specific tune. It rang through the whole room before you began to sing the lyrics you’d wrote specifically for her, the woman you loved.
“What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out. You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down. What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright.”
You glanced over to her, seeing a tiny smile forming as she watched your fingers flow over the keys.
“My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind. Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I'm winning. Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, oh.”
You saw Natasha’s eyes were closed, tears sliding down her cheeks. You didn’t know whether or not to continue, slowing the melody and missing a key, which made her eyes shoot open at the sudden change in the tune. You were staring at her, waiting to see if she’d say anything, but she just nodded, silently asking you to continue.
“How many times do I have to tell you, even when you're crying you're beautiful too. The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood. You're my downfall, you're my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues. I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you. My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind. Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I'm winning. Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, oh.”
Before you could finish the tune, Natasha’s lips were on yours, her hands on either side of your neck pulling you closer to her. Your fingers left the keys, finding their happy place, wrapped in her curls. You never knew if you were ever going to sing that song for her, but you were so glad you did.
“No one has ever told me they love me, but that-“ She wiped an escaped tear from her cheek. “That was beautiful.”
You heard a quiet sniffle from below, making both you and Natasha raise a brow before turning to see where it had came from. When you looked down from where you both sat, you saw everyone. Literally everyone. Some were sending soft smiles up at you, some were wiping tears from their eyes, and then there was Thor, who turned into a completely blubbering mess as soon as your eyes met his. You couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips as you shuck your head at him.
“I love you.” You heard Natasha whisper next to you, pulling your attention back to her. You couldn’t help the smile that spread over your face by her, as you placed a feather light kiss on her lips.
“I love you, too.”
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