Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Warnings: various marvel movie spoilers, cursing, violence, drinking, weapons, death, let me know if I missed any :)
Pairings: Avengers x reader platonic
*not my gif*
Summary: You became an avenger at a young age, and grew close with your team
A/N: Welcome to book place’s one year event!!
Inspired by: Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears For Fears
Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work
Welcome to your life
Your eyebrows shot up as you let out a low whistle and turned on your heel, taking in your surroundings, “This place is nice,” You commented.
Tony smiled proudly from beside you, placing his hands on his hips, “I designed it myself.” He announced.
Natasha scowled, walking up from behind him and efficiently delivering a harsh slap upside his head, making the man yelp and grab onto the back of his hair, eyes filled with betrayal.
“Don’t let him fool you,” She said calmly, “Pepper did most of the work, he just likes taking the credit.”
You chuckled lightly at their antics, still taking in the sight of Avengers Tower in all its glory.
“Yeah, yeah,” The man scoffed before turning to and regarding you once more, “Come on, we’ll show you up to your room.”
Being recruited by the Avengers was the very last thing you had expected after a lab accident gone wrong, one that ended up giving you the power to create force fields around yourself and others. But it happened, and now you were being welcomed with open arms into your new home, even though you were just a teenager.
The three of you rode side by side up an elevator. A machine that though simple and common, was even fancier than almost anything you had ever seen.
Everything you looked at was ten times more expensive than anything you had ever even been allowed to look at in your life.
It came to a stop on a floor too high for other buildings and your two newly found teammates allowed you to exit before them.
You had already met the rest of the team, so you weren’t overly nervous about running into any of them on your first day.
“-and this is your room,” Tony concluded his tour of the floor that consisted of all of your rooms and a living room and kitchen, as well as a dining room.
He had explained to you that it was considered the living floor, but there were many others identical to this one if a case or purpose ever arose for it.
Yet again, you couldn’t help but allow your jaw to drop as soon as Natasha gently pushed the door open, revealing a room that could be an entire floor of the house you used to live in.
Tony walked off, calling over his shoulder about having JARVIS alert you of when dinner would be ready, but the redhead stayed behind.
She smiled gently at you, reaching out and squeezing your shoulder gently, “Welcome to the Avengers.” She said softly.
You exhaled a long breath when she began to walk in the direction Stark had just left in, and you tried to wrap your mind around what your life was becoming. The new life you were beginning to lead.
There's no turning back
All of it was too overwhelming. Too loud. Too dangerous. Too unpredictable.
You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t see, you couldn’t even hear yourself think.
It was your first mission as an Avenger and of course, it was going horribly. It was nothing like all the training and simulations you had been put through, or even the sparring you had done with Steve.
This was real- this was deadly. The gunshots wouldn’t just momentarily stun you, they would take away your life in a second, without hesitation.
You could barely even register the arrow that whizzed right past your head, narrowly missing you in such a way that had to be done purposefully, and ending up in the chest of a soilder you had been too distracted to even notice charging at you.
For the first time since the battle had begun, the first clear thought fought through the fog of your brain and became clear to you.
You needed to get out of there.
There were no further thoughts after that. No regret or guilt for leaving your team to fend for themselves. No shame for being a coward on your first time out in the field. Just the rapid, uneven, rising and falling of your chest and the constant ringing in your ears that wouldn’t go away.
Somehow, you had been coherent enough to stumble behind a flipped over vehicle that gave you shelter from the fight.
You sank to the ground unceremoniously and automatically brought your knees up to your chest and your hands to your hair, pulling harshly on the roots.
“Hey, hey-“ Clint dropped into a crouch by your side, placing a hand on your shoulder as his eyes swept over your face in concern, “What is it, kid? What’s wrong?”
All you could manage to do in your pathetic state was snap your eyes up to the man as your breathing came in and out unsteadily.
Suddenly, a look of realization overcame on his features and he reached his arm over and began to gently rub your back up and down. Much to your surprise, his expression was entirely void of the anger and disappointment you would have expected to see there after being found cowering pathetically away from the fight.
“I remember my first mission,” He spoke softly after a moment, eyes still scanning your surroundings for any sign of danger, “It wasn’t even as an avenger- mine was a whole hell of a lot less pressure than yours is. I was just some rookie shield agent on a mission that mattered, but wouldn’t have devastating effects if it went sideways.”
Slowly, your body unconsciously began to relax under his comforting hand and gentle words. He continued with a small chuckle to himself, “I couldn’t even hold my bow correctly. My hands were shaking too much- I’m pretty sure I shit my pants.”
That, at least, made a shaky smile make its way onto your face. It was small, but it was still something.
“It’s okay to be nervous and scared,” Clint spoke again, “Hell, I still feel the fear every time I step into one of these things. But I promise you,” He ducked his head so he could look you in the eyes, “We wouldn’t have picked you to be on our team if each and every one of us didn’t think that you were more than capable of doing this.”
“Really?” The question came out quietly. You hadn’t known that it had been their decision about whether or not to let you onto the team.
The man clapped your shoulder gently, “You’re an avenger, kid. We would never force you into a mission, especially one like this, but we could always use your help. So do you think you can go back out there and help us kick ass?”
A wave of confidence surged over your body and you straightened up and strongly nodded your head once.
He cracked a grin, standing up and helping you to your feet, “That’s what I like to hear.”
Even while we sleep
“Y/n, Y/n, come on. You have to wake up.” Steve shook your shoulders gently but firmly, “We have a mission.”
An incoherent grumble left your lips and you pushed your face farther into the pillow, refusing to open your eyes.
He sighed, “It’s in Sokovia,” He continued to shake you, “And it’s really important, people are counting on us.”
That finally caught your attention, and you reluctantly opened your eyes and threw your blanket off of yourself. You sat up and stretched your arms to the ceiling, “No one told me being an Avenger would mean waking up in the middle of the night,” You whined.
The blond man smiled at you sympathetically, “If we don’t do it, then who will?”
We will find you
“Shit!” Tony exclaimed through the comms, no doubt dodging something as extreme as a missal as he spoke.
“Language!” Steve chimed back instantly, almost as if it was second nature, the sound of his motorcycle revving sounding in the background.
You laughed loudly as you threw up a forcefield around yourself, successfully stopping a round of bullets from penetrating your skin.
“Wait a minute,” Tony chimed back in, “Is anyone going to comment on the fact that Cap just said ‘language’?”
“I will!” You cackled, punching a very confused soldier in the face, “He’s such an old man!”
Laughter from the rest of your team came through your ears as Steve let out a small huff, an explosion coming from the general direction you knew he was in, “It just slipped out,” He defended, “Plus, there’s a kid here.”
A gasp of offension left your lips and you could hear Clint take over your cackling from over comms, Nat even snickering a bit.
“I’m not a kid, Rogers!” You whined in a very child-like manner.
Turning your head to the side, you saw a large group of people rush their way over to Clint, no doubt hoping to overwhelm and overrun the man with their numbers.
With a slight tut of your tongue, though, you threw your hand out in his direction, making a force field form a protective barrier around him, to give him the time he needed to prepare for their attack and take them down with ease.
He turned his head to you with an appreciative nod and you called over with a playful grin, “We’re even now!” Referring to your first mission, merely a few months ago, that he had effortlessly saved you.
It was a joke between the two of you, everytime one of you would save the other, you would say that you were either even with one another or they owed you one, even though you had both long since lost track of all the saves.
Acting on your best behavior
You let out a loud cheer, raising your pool cue in victory with a large grin adorning your features, laughing as Steve let out a playful groan.
The blond man’s friend, Sam, laughed loudly and clapped Cap on the shoulder, “I can’t believe she beat you, and it’s her first time playing!”
Steve jokingly rolled his eyes, reaching over and ruffling your hair in a way that made you scowl.
“Hey! What’s with the long face?” Tony strode over and swing an arm over your shoulder, “It’s a party! There’s no negativity allowed at my party! What did Rogers do to you?”
Said man adopted a look of mock offense as he flitted his eyes over, “Why would you think I did something, Stark?”
“Because it's always you,” He replied simply before steering you away and towards where Bruce and Nat were at the bar with a laugh.
You got there and leaned your forearms against the counter whilst giving the two members of your team smiles of greeting.
“Want a drink?” Tony asked, sliding one across the surface towards you.
Just as your eyes lit up and you began reaching for it, Nat scowled and snatched it just before your fingers could brush against it, “Absolutely not.” She was glaring dangerous daggers at Tony.
“What?” He asked innocently, holding his hands up in surrender, “I was sneaking them at parties when I was way younger than her!”
“And look how you turned out.” The redhead retorted.
Tony’s smile dropped and he let out a noise of offense, but before he could open his mouth and snap back, a large hand clamped down on one of your shoulders.
“Lady Y/n!” Thor's voice boomed, causing you to spin around on your heel with a grin, “Are you enjoying the festivities?”
“I am, Thor, what about you?” You laughed.
“Well, it’s no Asguardian party, but you humans know how to have a much better time than I thought you did.” He exclaimed, eyes still shining with excitement.
Only a little while later, the guests had slowly but surely simmered out, leaving only you and your fellow avengers, along with Doctor Cho and Maria Hill, to lounge around on a couple couches.
“But it’s a trick!” Clint insisted, leaning his head back against the couch while twirling a drumstick in one hand.
“Oh no,” Thor laughed, taking a drink from his glass, “It’s much more than that.”
“‘Whoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!’” He mocked in a deep voice, guestering dramatically to where Thor's hammer rested on the coffee table in the middle of everyone. Clint scoffed, “Whatever, man! It’s a trick!”
You laughed from where you sat on the floor by Nats feet, the woman unconsciously running her fingers through your hair softly.
“Well, please, be my guest.” The Norse god seemed thoroughly amused by the entire situation and waved a hand in his hammer's direction.
“Come on!” Tony encouraged, clearly slightly buzzed from the drinks he kept pouring himself.
“Really?” Clint’s eyes widened, he clearly hadn’t expected to actually have his words entertained.
“Go Clint!” You cheered, pumping a fist in the air as your team chuckled all around you at your words.
Barton pushed himself to his feet and strode over, trying to appear to have much more confidence then he actually was.
“Oh, this is going to be beautiful,” Rhodey snickered, and you nodded in agreement.
“Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up.” Tony called to the man. Everyone laughed again.
“You know I’ve seen this before, right?” He thought it was just a parlor trick.
As soon as he placed his hand on the handle and moved to lift it though, he was met with much more resistance than anticipated.
He turned to Thor and blinked once before moving back to sit down, “I still don’t know how you do it.”
“Smell the silent judgment?” Tony snickered at his own words.
“Please, Stark, by all means.” He gestured towards the table.
“Oh, here we go.” You mumbled in amusement.
You watched as one by one, almost every member of your team tried- and failed- to lift the ancient object off the table, all while you sat back, cackling at their attempts.
“Lady Y/n,” Everyone’s attention was turned back to you, “Why don’t you give it a try?”
You glanced back at Nat, who shrugged with a small smile and took a sip from her beer, before shrugging yourself and making your way over to the table.
Readying yourself, you wrapped your hand around the handle and began to use all your strength to try and pull it up.
Perhaps you had been imagining it, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you, but you could’ve sworn that you felt the object shift slightly under your fingers.
But before anything else could happen, a loud screeching noise rang out through the room, making everyone flinch and divert their attention to where a robotic looking figure came limping through a doorway.
Turn your back on Mother Nature
You turned your head and gave Pietro a firm nod, who smirked at your signal before running at full speed through a row of robots, destroying them in the blink of an eye.
When he did so, you let out a whoop of celebration and stuck a hand out for him to rush back over and high five you.
The twins had realized their faults with being on Ultrons side and immediately rushed to assist your team. And as much as you loved the avengers, and while the Maximoff’s were both technically older than you, it was nice to have people closer to your age again. The three of you immediately clicked.
“Nice one!” You cheered, throwing your hands out to create a force field around the two of you just in time to stop some debris from falling over and flattening you.
“As glad as I am that the two of you are getting along,” Cap grunted through the comms, a background sound of clambering metal coming through, “Please keep your focus.”
“Why, we are very focused, Captain America.” Pietro’s thick accent rang through, sending you a cheeky smile.
Nevertheless, the two of you did get back to taking everything more seriously, and you quickly rushed to aid a panicked group of people who were trying to get to the helicarrier to get them out of the city.
You threw your hands up again and created a force field around all of you and you ushered them towards more help, “This way!” You called over the nearby sound of gunfire.
Waving off the cries of thanks you received from them after handing them off to some other helpers, you began jogging over to where you knew Wanda to be- wanting to check in on the girl- all whilst taking down Ultron's soldiers along the way.
“How’s it going?” You asked when she came into view.
A small smirk made its way onto her face, one so similar to Pietro’s that it left no doubt in your mind that they were twins, and she quickly sent out a beam of red energy into an incoming bots chest. It shattered into a thousand pieces upon impact.
“I think I’m handling it well.” She replied.
You laughed, wrapping a forcefield around one that was close to you just as it sent a bullet flying at you, making it bounce back at itself.
“Y/n?” Clint’s voice suddenly came through the comms, making your head snap up, though he was no doubt at least a few streets away, “I need some backup over here.”
With one final nod to Wanda, you turned on your heel and began racing to where you knew he was positioned, “On my way.”
After only one slight misstep in an alley that almost caused you to tumble into an ever collapsing brick wall, you pushed your way into a clearing and came to a sudden halt, breath catching in your throat and eyes widening at the sight before you. You could have sworn that your heart had even stopped beating all together.
It all happened in a slow motion fashion, only about ten yards away, Clint was in a squat position, cradling a kid to his chest and using himself as a shield to protect him. One of Ultron's robots hung in the air, aiming all of its available weapons at the man.
Without your mind even beginning to register what it saw, your body jumped into action and you leapt forward at full pace, throwing your arm out to send a shield the duo's way.
You were too slow. Too slow. Too slow. Too slow. Too-
Pietro got there before you could, before his faster than light brain could even compute that you had already gotten them out of harm's way, and he stood in front of them. His arms were stretched out to the sides as he used himself to barricade them from the incoming round of bullets.
He fell to the ground less than a second later, mumbling something that you weren’t able to hear over the ringing in your ears.
Immediately, you fell onto the ground beside him, your defenses collapsing as you did so, and a sob ripped through your throat as you hurriedly turned the boy over, searching for the lost cause of any sign of life.
You didn’t know how long you sat there, crying out and rocking his body back and forth. A boy you barely knew, yet felt so connected to. Someone who deserved to live.
Everybody wants to rule the world
Collateral damage.
You never liked those words. It always insinuated that something was broken, something that could no doubt be made whole again. But that word was too often used for people. People that could never be fixed- be brought back. People that could never be replaced.
This was the first time you ever experienced losing someone on your own team while out in the field, let alone someone you would consider a friend.
The rest of your battle with Ultron had been done numbly, your brain having gone into autopilot mode and leaving you to not even be able to think about what had just happened.
But then it was done, and you and the avengers were left to patrol Sokovia while everyone else was safely taken off, just in case something else were to occur.
Immediately, you had wandered off and found a quiet spot near the edge of the floating city and plopped down a safe distance away from the end, pulling your knees up to your chest.
The sound of soft footsteps made you look up, only to come face to face with a tear stained Wanda.
Guilt pooled in your stomach when you automatically came to the realization that you had been mourning a boy you barely knew while his own twin sister was left to suffer with it alone.
“Wanda, I’m so-“
“Shh,” She shushed you as you began to cry again, tears of her own slipping out of her green orbs, “I know, I know.”
She sank to the ground beside you and you held each other, both crying over the boy who hadn’t had enough time.
“I should’ve saved him- I should’ve noticed him there.” You hiccuped, clinging tightly to her shirt.
“It’s not your fault.” She whispered, resting her head atop your own, “You did nothing wrong, it wasn’t at all your fault.”
You were the only one that seemed to care- really care- about what happened to her brother. And not just that, but you were still just a kid- a kid that blamed herself for what had happened to him. Something that was completely out of your control, but you still took on the burden of the incident anyway.
Despite what you may think, Wanda could never hate you after today. If anything, it made her like you even more.
It's my own design, it’s my own remorse
“Are you getting a sense of deja vu? I’m getting a sense of deja vu.” Tony rambled.
“What do you mean?” You turned to him with a single raised eyebrow.
“You, me, Romanoff.” He gestured to the three of you walking in a line through the newly built Avengers Compound, where you and your team would all be staying now.
The redhead shared a playfully suspicious look with you, “What about us, Stark?”
The man grinned, as if having been waiting for the question to be asked, “This is just like the first time n/n moved into the tower.”
Nat chuckled when she realized what he meant and she threw a fond smile at you, “That’s true.”
“You were so little back then,” Tony teased, reaching over and ruffling your hair.
You scowled slightly at the action- no real anger behind your expression, though- and sidestepped his hand while moving to fix your hair.
“I was not.” You grumbled.
“I mean, you still kind of are.” Natasha smirked a little as she spoke.
Your mouth dropped open in betrayal, “Hey!”
Help me to decide
“Which color?” Wanda asked with a wide smile, holding up the different vials that all varied wildly in shades.
You quieted, eyes jumping from one to another as you thought it over for a moment before pointing to the middle one excitedly, “That one!”
“I’ll do the red.” Nat piped up from behind you, sinking down onto the mattress by your side.
“Perfect,” Wanda cheered, taking out your designated colors and one for herself as you all got ready to paint each other's nails.
The three of you had claimed to the rest of the team that you needed a girls night, before quickly retiring to Natasha’s room and promptly closing the door in Tony’s face, who had pouted and whined about not being invited.
You sighed happily, relaxing against the bed's backboard as Nat painted your nails and Wanda braided the woman’s hair, “This is nice, I needed this.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve never had a girls day,” Natasha had a slightly amused tone as she spoke.
“Me neither!” Wanda chorused.
“Same!” You piped up. The three of you fell into laughter, “But this is how it looks in the movies! So I thought, why not give it a try?”
Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure
“Voila!” Tony announced dramatically, throwing his arms out to the side to present what lay inside the dining room that had been practically untouched for the first few months of living in the compound.
Everyone looked around in shock, even Nats lips parted a bit.
Covering the table in the center of the room where foods of all shapes and sizes. All different kinds, with desserts and fast food bags, and even some food that looked homemade.
“What is all of this, Stark?” Steve looked around at the sight before him.
“Dinner.” Tony replied in a ‘duh’ tone.
An excited squeal left your lips and you latched your hand onto Wanda’s and quickly pulled the girl over to the table, taking a plate and beginning to fill it with food.
The girl chuckled along with a couple other members of the team at your antics, before the others quickly followed on your tail, filling their plates to the brim before taking seats around the vast table.
For the most part, everyone ate alone on their own times, so this was the first time that you were all doing it together since moving in.
You watched with a wide smile as everyone interacted, telling stories and filling the space with laughter. This- this is what you would picture if someone ever brought up the idea of a family dinner.
Nothing ever lasts forever
You didn’t like this- not one bit.
The heavy stare of Secretary Ross made you squirm uncomfortably in your chair. His gaze held enough accusation and judgment to make you more than a little bit uneasy.
“The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt,” The man continued a spiel that you and the rest of your team sat through in a heavy silence, it felt like you were children being lectured by a teacher for doing something wrong in class, “You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives . . . but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some . . . who would prefer the word ‘vigilantes’.”
The word made you cringe slightly, but you stayed silent, eyes trained ahead. You didn’t even look away as you felt Steve and Tony’s eyes both flicker towards you simultaneously. You sat between the blond man and Natasha with the rest of the team spread out around the table.
“And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?” Nat tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing slightly in a way that promised danger, though her tone was as innocent as it comes.
Ross scoffed, “How about ‘dangerous’?” His eyes swept back and forth over each and every one of you, “What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?”
Your hands tightened around the arm of your chair, knuckles whitening slightly from the sheer grip you had on the wood.
When all of you stayed silent, he sidestepped to reveal a large screen behind him. He pressed a button on a small remote he held.
“New York.” He spoke as news footage from years prior flashed onto the screen.
The Chitauri Leviathan crashing into skyscrapers. Citizens running around in a panicked frenzy. Bruce in his Hulk form smashing into buildings.
“Washington DC.”
The three Helicarriers from that day firing at each other, crashing into one another. Massive waves caused by their crashes engulfing nearby citizens.
“Sokovia.”
The city rising from the ground. Citizens screaming a crying. Fires erupting across various buildings. A brief clip of you and Pietro fighting side by side.
From the corner of your eye, you watched Wanda’s head fall at the sight on the television, and anger immediately began flickering in a small flame in your stomach at Ross for making her watch that.
“Ireland.”
Your eyes immediately snapped back over to the news footage playing in a horrifying montage across the screen.
Ireland had been where you were for your first mission. The one that you had frozen up on, where it took Clint to snap you out of your daze.
You had later learned that your mess up had cost many lives of innocent civilians, and that was something you had to live with to the day.
Clips of dead bodies littering the streets flashed across the monitor.
Painfully, you ripped your eyes away, unable to look at it any longer in fear of throwing up at what you saw.
“Okay. That’s enough.” Steve immediately sat up straighter when he noticed your pained look, his voice coming out as a demand to the Secretary.
He didn’t argue, clicking off the screen, as if he knew he would get that exact reaction out of all of you, “For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate. But I think we have a solution.”
A nearby aide shuffled over and handed him a thick document that he immediately passed to Wanda, who briefly glanced at it before sliding it over to Rhodey.
“The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries . . . it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” He explained as if it were as simple as that.
Your ears were ringing. This was starting to become too much- everything about this ‘meeting’, and you were beginning to get to the point where you didn’t know if you could handle it.
“The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we've done that.” Steve argued.
Almost as if he anticipated that, Ross didn’t miss a beat, “Tell me, Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?”
Your head snapped up at the sounds of their names and you met the Secretary’s eyes.
“If I misplaced a couple of thirty megaton nukes . . . you can bet there'd be consequences. Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground.” He finally tore his eyes away from you to address the rest of the team.
“So, there are contingencies.” It wasn’t a question, Rhodey already knew the answer.
“Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords.” He glanced at you once more, “Talk it over.”
Just as he was about to turn to leave, Natasha’s voice drew him to a halt, “And if we come to a decision you don't like?”
It was silent as you all waited for him to answer, and he gave her a plain smile, “Then you retire.”
It wasn’t too long later that you were all sitting around one of the many living rooms in the compound, you on one of the couches with your head in your hands as Steve read and reread the Accords from beside you.
Sam and Rhodey were arguing back and forth about what to do, while everyone else silently mulled it over to themselves.
“Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.” Rhodes pointed out, as if that would be the deciding factor in everything.
The other man shot back his retort that only lead to more bickering that you couldn’t be bothered to even try to listen to, some other teammates of yours getting roped into it as well.
This was not good. Your team- your family- were going in circles as they argued with each other about the fate of the Avengers. This could very well be the day that they ended, because if the Accords weren’t what teared you apart, it would be the endless disagreements that were coming with this whole thing.
You sat back and watched as your family was slowly pulled apart by the seams.
“Tony, you chose to do that- if we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”
You had no idea who you agreed with, which side you were taking- it was all too much at the moment for you to properly think it out- but you had to admit that Steve did have a good point.
“If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.” Tony’s voice had almost shifted to one that resembled begging. He didn’t want you all to split up over this anymore than you did.
“You’re saying they’ll come for me.” Wanda whispered, her arms moving to wrap around her stomach.
“We would protect you.” Vision automatically assured her.
“Both of you.” Tony added, locking eyes with you as he said it.
You bit down on your bottom lip and cast your eyes downwards.
Even though you didn’t know your own viewpoint on the matter, you didn’t understand why your team couldn’t pull together- now more than ever- to come to an agreement on something. At least to ensure that you would all stay together.
The bickering just kept going and you couldn’t take it anymore, you pushed yourself off the couch and hurried out of the room, not paying any mind to how the team quieted behind you and sadly watched you go.
Everybody wants to rule the world
“So,” Tony strolled over, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the railing before bumping his shoulder against yours playfully, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
You were out on a balcony, standing there and overlooking the compound grounds as you thought, “I don’t know what to do.”
“That’s okay,” He assured you, “You’re just a kid, you don’t have to know what to do about all of this.”
You bit down on your bottom lip gently, “I hate it when you all fight.”
Tony sighed, shoulders sagging and head dropping a little bit, “I know, I hate it too.” His voice was quieter than before
“Why can’t we just keep doing what we’re doing?” You asked softly, eyes trained somewhere in the distance, “Why can’t we just go back to the way things used to be? Without the government dictating what we do.”
The man’s head turned to you in surprise, “You don’t mean that.”
You shook your head, “No, I do.” You were finally getting a sense of what you thought about everything going on.
“Listen, I know you’re upset about everything, but you don’t have to-“
“Why would we let them control us?” You turned to face him as well, “That’s not how we’ve always done things, why would we change now? We’ve been fine on our own.”
“I know you think that,” He tried again, eyes and tone growing slightly desperate, “But signing these Accords and letting the government have a little bit of control over us will be what keeps us together. Not signing them will tear us apart.”
Again, you shook your head stubbornly, “No, the UN will just tear us apart. Things will change. I’m not ready for things to change.”
“You need to sign these Accords, n/n,” It almost sounded like Tony was begging at this point, “I promise, once you do that we can figure out everything else.”
You looked at him sadly, “I’m not ready for them to control us, Tony. I’m not ready for things to change.”
Before he could even open his mouth again, you turned on your heel and went back inside, searching for Steve to let him know of your decision.
Tony dropped his head into his hands from behind you.
There's a room where the light won't find you
Your eyes swept back and forth, going over the plan again and again, letting Steve’s previous words ring out in your head.
Though you tried to keep your face neutral, you knew that your nerves were portrayed through your expression, showing everyone in the airport how scared you really were.
As you looked over the faces of those who signed the Accords, you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame them- as much as you tried.
At the end of the day, they were just doing what they thought was right, just like you were. Except their methods didn’t involve going back to the way things used to be, theirs included being controlled by people who had no idea what being an Avenger was really like- what it took.
Before you knew it, both sides began charging at one another, forcing you to do the same.
You didn’t like this, the thought of fighting against your loved ones made you sick to your stomach, so you had come up with a plan beforehand. All you would do was protect those around you by channeling your powers to generate force fields around them and come to their aid when necessary.
Before the fight had even begun, you relayed this to Steve, who had nodded in understanding.
So that’s what you did.
When T’Challa automatically sprang forward to lunge at Bucky, you threw a shield around the man, sending the king flying backwards upon impact.
You cringed a little, “Sorry, your majesty!” You called.
That wasn’t exactly how you pictured your first interaction with the king of Wakanda going.
You ran around, helping others when they needed it before moving on, making sure you were constantly rotating to be there at any given moment for anyone.
Your steps faltered though, when Tony flew down in his suit and touched the ground only a few yards away.
“What are you doing, kid?” He asked sadly, “Please get out of here, you’re going to get hurt.”
“I need to help them, Tony. I’m not going to leave them behind.”
“Listen-“ He lifted his hand subconsciously as he spoke to you, not meaning anything by it, but he froze when you flinched at the gesture and threw your hands up to create a force field all around yourself.
You realized what you had done too late, and you swallowed thickly as a deadly silence settled between the two of you, both completely tuning out the sounds of chaos from the battle going on around you.
“Did you-“ His words came out slightly stuttered, “You didn’t think that- that I was going to shoot you, did you?”
You didn’t. You really didn’t. But that didn’t explain why your body had worked by itself to try and naturally protect you. As if you had been in any danger in the first place.
Before you could even try and open your mouth to speak, Visions voice cut you off, calling out from a far, “Mr. Stark!”
Steve and Bucky were making their way to the hanger that held the quinjet, the blond man desperately trying to get your attention to flag you down and get you on the plane with them.
You realized though in that moment that getting over there wasn’t in the cards for you, but you could distract Tony so the duo could make their escape.
Subtly, you shook your head, and you watched Steve’s face drop in slight horror, but you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on that as Bucky gently took his best friend by the shoulder to continue to steer him out of there.
Taking Tony’s distracted form to your advantage, you threw a shield around him just in time to stop him from moving to go after them, keeping him stuck in place.
“I’m sorry, Tony,” You spoke, “But I can’t let you do that.”
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
“Y/n.” Your head snapped up and you sprang to your feet, hand already moving to the gun you had concealed under the table.
You froze in place though, standing in the middle of your kitchen, staring at two of the people you quite honestly didn’t know if you would ever see again.
After what happened in Germany, Cap had freed you and the others from prison, thereby forcing every one of you to go into hiding for what you had done. He had begged you to come with him- all of them begged for you to go with at least one of them- if only for the fact that they could look after you. You were still just a kid.
But after everything that had gone down between the team- not that it could even be called that anymore- you had been too full of pain and betrayal to even handle being around any of them at the moment. So, you refused assistance from any of them and slipped away the first chance you got. You couldn't stay with them, not then at least, you had to go out on your own. You had to take time to process everything that had happened.
You had somehow ended up in a small town in Ireland- maybe it was to stay in touch with a small part of who you used to be when you had still been an Avenger- but you were old enough at that point to get a job and buy your own apartment. It was by no means a luxurious life, not like the life you had been living in the tower or the compound, but it was peaceful and quiet. Exactly what you needed to lay low and sort yourself out.
But now, you stood face to face with Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff and you didn’t know what to do. You could physically feel your heart contracting in your chest and you found it hard to breathe.
Limply, your hand fell away from your gun and the three of you just stared at each other in silence.
Steve cleared his throat, “Something big’s about to go down. In Wakanda.” It was like he wanted to say something else, but forced himself to get those words out.
“Why come to me?” Your voice was scratchy, the question pained you to speak aloud.
They both had sad looks on their faces, “We need you.” Nat spoke softly.
You shook your head back and forth, “You don’t need me.”
You knew it. They knew it.
“Of course we do.” Steve insisted, “You’re a vital part of the team.”
An incredulous laugh left your lips, you couldn’t help it, “Team? What team?” Your eyes hardened, “There hasn’t been any team in a long time.”
“N/n, I know you’re hurt-“ Rogers moved as if to come closer to you.
You took a stumbling step back, an expression full of pain overcoming your face. You had thought you moved past this, with all the time you had, you really did, but seeing them again, it opened up new wounds you had thought long since closed.
“Don’t.” You spoke firmly, doing everything in your power to keep your voice from wavering.
He stilled, releasing a small sigh through his nose.
“There’s a threat,” He spoke from afar, “Far greater than anything any of us have ever faced. And he’s coming here. We need your help to stop him.”
“What kind of threat?” As hurt as you were, you still felt as if it was your responsibility to protect the world, and you couldn’t just back away after hearing that it was in danger.
“His name is Thanos.” Nat informed you, hesitantly taking a small step forward, continuing when you didn’t flinch away, “A lot of us are going to Wakanda to hold him off, he’s trying to get to the mind stone.”
“Vision?”
True, you had both been on opposite sides of the fight in Germany, but that didn’t mean you didn’t still care about him.
The nod of confirmation you received from both of them was enough to make you suck in a breath.
“He’s dangerous, we can’t let him get that stone.” Steve spoke.
Finally, you locked eyes with the blond man, taking a moment before speaking again, “Fine, I’m in.”
You would be fighting with the Avengers again. Side by side with your family, having each other's backs and looking out for one another. Just like the way things used to be. The way things should be.
Nat smiled softly, taking the final step to reach you before lifting her hand and gently cupping your cheek, “You’ve grown up so much.”
Subconsciously, you leaned into her touch before bringing your arms gently around her for a long overdue hug.
After her, you moved to hug Steve too, biting down on your bottom lip to try and stop the incoming tears, “I’m sorry.” You whispered.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He reassured you softly, knowing exactly what you were apologizing for, “You left because it was the right thing for you to do.”
They ushered you into the Quinjet they brought to get you shortly after, and you finally piped up again once you set a course for Wakanda, “How did you find me, anyway?”
Natasha briefly looked over her shoulder at you, “We tracked you down shortly after you left, but knew that we needed to give you your space for as long as we could.”
You swallowed, “Oh,”
“Tony knew where you were too,” She explained, “He kept tabs on you.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, “He knew where I was but he didn’t have me arrested again?”
Steve looked at you, “You know he never wanted to do that to you in the first place.
You nodded slightly, you did know.
Slight embarrassment took over you though, you thought you had been good at covering your tracks, but apparently not against an assassin and billionaire.
After a while, the quinjet landed and the three of you exited. You sucked in a sharp breath when you saw Wanda, Bruce, Vision, T’Challa, and Bucky all standing near the ship, smiling welcomingly at you.
Though you didn’t know Bucky or T’Challa that well, you gave the former a small hug in greeting and the former a polite wave before moving to tightly hug Wanda, Bruce, and Vision.
“It’s good to see you guys,” You said after pulling away.
Wanda smiled, “It’s good to see you too, n/n.”
“I hate to interrupt,” The king of Wakanda did in fact sound very guilty, “But we must be going.”
“Y/n, I want you to stay here with Wanda and Vision, help protect the stone.” Steve addressed you, and you nodded in affirmation.
So there you stood, watching with a worried expression from the windows as your team along with hundreds of Wakandan soldiers marched into battle.
You cast a glance at Wanda after a few moments, “I can’t just stand by and watch.” You whispered.
She smiled, nodding and reaching over to squeeze your shoulder, as if she had been expecting you to say that, “I know,” She admitted before nodding her head out the window, “Go. We’ll be fine.”
After one last bit of hesitation, you spun on your heel and took off running outside, joining in on the fight that had already begun. Your first fight back as an Avenger.
When they do I'll be right behind you
Not once, but twice your team had been ripped apart. Once by their own undoing and once from the hands of Thanos. You didn’t know which hurt more.
What had happened? What had made the universe decide to leave you alive and well while half of the Avengers- half of the universe- got snapped to mere dust and blown out of existence?
How cruel could the world be that you were forced to sit there, screaming and crying until your throat was raw as you watched your family be teared away from you while you sat back, completely unharmed?
You should never have left Wanda in the first place, you should have stayed like Steve had specially told you to to protect the stone. Everything might have turned out differently if you had.
You didn’t know how long you had been there, collapsed in a heap on the ground in the spot right next to where Wanda had gotten snapped away and Vision's dead body lay off to the side, until Natasha and Steve had broken through the trees, eyes frantically searching every which way.
When her gaze landed on you, the woman let out a breath of relief and rushed to your side, falling to her knees and scooping you up into her arms, holding you tightly against her.
So you sat there, hands desperately grasping at her clothing and cried into her chest while she rubbed your back up and down, tears of her own swimming in her eyes.
“I know, I know.” She spoke gently, rocking you both back and forth.
Steve dropped onto his knees beside the two of you, a look of pure exhaustion and despair on his face as his tearful, devastatingly blue eyes locked with your own orbs.
“I’m sorry,” He whispered as if it was his fault. A million different apologies laying behind his eyes.
I’m sorry for dragging you back into this. I’m sorry that we lost. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him. I’m sorry-
You threw yourself into his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and continuing your crying as he hugged you back tightly.
You had lost.
So glad we've almost made it
“It’s my fault.”
It had been five years since that day in Wakanda. Since half the universe had been erased from existence.
Only twenty days after the battle, a woman named Carol had showed up with a ship that held none other than Tony Stark, a man you thought to have been snapped away with everyone else.
You, along with Nat, had lived in the compound, desperately trying to keep together a world that was no longer there.
It was almost always quiet, nothing to report, nothing going on in the world. Most of your days consisted of sitting around with Nat, waiting for something that might never happen.
The woman looked up from her breakfast at you in surprise, “What do you mean?” She asked.
You sighed, this was the first time you were going to open up to her about the guilt that had been eating away at you about what had happened.
“I left Wanda and Vision,” You whispered, eyes clouding over with sadness. You learned long ago that you had almost no tears left in your body to cry. “Even after Steve specifically told me to stay and protect the stone, I left them and Thanos got to them.”
Nat looked startled, never had she thought you were blaming yourself in that way. Sure, everyone that hadn’t been blipped felt some form of responsibility for what happened, but after all this time, how could she not have noticed just how much of the burden you took upon yourself?
“That wasn’t your fault,” She spoke immediately, “Nothing about that was your fault. Thanos would have gotten what he wanted, whether you were there or not.”
You quieted after that, neither of you bringing the conversation up again, allowing the day to pass without mention of it again.
Pretty soon though, Steve showed up, Scott following shortly after- a man who had supposedly been blipped away.
The three of you were quick to usher him in and demand that he explained himself, only to come to the realization that for the first time in five years, a tiny flicker of hope was set off within you. For the first time in five years, there may be a chance to set everything right. To bring everyone back.
Only one thing was left to do, you all had to pay a visit to Tony and convince him to go along with the plan.
Almost right after getting back, Tony had slipped away, and you let him, figuring he just needed a little time, but you hadn’t seen him a single time in these five years. The only form of communication going between the two of you was the occasional text to make sure the other was doing alright.
You took a deep breath, stepping out of the car and gently closing the door behind you, taking in the sight of Tony’s house, which- even in the middle of nowhere- was beautiful.
The man stopped walking on his porch when he caught sight of the group of you, and the two of you briefly made eye contact before you watched him break it and heave out a sigh.
You all walked up to him, and he pulled you in for a hug, planting a quick kiss on the side of your head before turning to address everyone else, “What is it?” He cut right to the chase.
So Scott began explaining it to him- everything you had been told earlier.
“In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home.” Tony sighed, running a hand down his face.
“I did.” Scott argued.
“No, you accidentally survived.” Tony immediately shot back, “It's a billion to one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull off a... What do you call it?”
“A time heist?” You offered- no doubt- unhelpfully.
Nat looked down to hide her smirk at your words.
“Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?” Tony’s sarcastic words had a bite to them.
Your amusement, along with Natasha’s, immediately dropped and you averted your eyes to the ground.
“The stones are in the past. We can go back and get them.” Scott never gave up, you would give him that.
“We can snap our own fingers.” Nat continued.
“We can bring everyone back.” You whispered, eyes lifting to meet Tony’s, and you saw the briefest flicker of hesitation for the first time since arriving.
Then, all at once, the hesitation was gone and the incredulousness was back, “Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?”
“I don't believe we would.” Steve sounded like he truly believed his words, and that made you feel better.
You began tuning the rest out after that, when they still kept bickering back and forth. It was bringing back too many memories of the Accords.
“Tony,” Steve spoke softly, “I get it. And I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is a second chance.”
“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can't roll the dice again. If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch.” He seemed genuinely sad.
Everyone turned to leave, but Tony called to you, making you pause, “N/n, wait up.”
You exchanged one glance with Nat before pulling yourself to a halt and letting the others part way and you turned to Tony.
“I really am sorry,” He said, “I just can’t risk it.”
You smiled a soft, understanding smile, and reached over to squeeze his hand, “I know, Tony, it’s alright.”
He shook his head, averting his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t want to bring them back- of course I do. I would do anything to be with them again, but I refuse to let my family become in danger because of it.”
“Tony,” He turned his gaze back to you, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure out another way.”
He bit down on his bottom lip before slowly nodding his head and letting his hand drop from yours, “Alright.”
With one last smile, you turned yet again to go, but he stopped you again.
“N/n?” You turned your head, “You’re always welcome here- always.”
So sad they had to fade it
You couldn’t believe it, you could hardly breathe as your head whipped around in shock.
For the first time in five years, tears of happiness and relief instead of despair and regret filled your eyes as all around you, Wakandan soldiers, Avengers- your family- that had all been snapped away filed out of portals every which way, joining you, Steve, Thor, and Tony to fight against Thanos and his army.
You could have sobbed in relief when your eyes landed on Wanda, Bucky, T’Challa, Stephen, Sam, and so many more of the ones you lost came to stand by your side, all looking exactly as they did the day they were torn away.
You didn’t even get to reunite with any of them though, as everyone began charging forward and beginning the fight.
More than anything, you wished that Nat was still there with you, that she hadn’t sacrificed herself for that damned stone and she could see that she hadn’t given up hope for nothing. That what she had died for was worth it- it was all worth it. Everyone was back and it was all because of her, because of her sacrifice.
Forcing those thoughts out of your mind, you purposefully shifted your attention so you could focus solely on the fight at hand.
Immediately, you placed a force field around yourself as a Chitauri lunged at you, stumbling slightly at the sheer force it used as it continued to claw at you, before you quickly thrust your hands out, sending it flying backwards into some other nearby aliens. They all went tumbling to the ground upon impact.
That continued, Chitauri after Chitauri, before another one coming at you was swiftly thrown to the side by a familiar red wisp of light. The same kind you never knew if you were going to see again.
Your head quickly whipped to the side where Wanda stood, eyes glowing red and hand outstretched.
Choking back on a sob, you dropped all your defenses and flew across the couple of yards separating you and jumped into her arms, pulling yourself tightly against her.
“Wands…” You cried, hugging her as tightly as you could despite the ongoing battle around the two of you.
“Hi,” She breathed out, hugging you with the same amount of desperation that you held her with and you quickly realized why.
For you, it had been five years. For her, it had been just over five minutes. Five minutes since she was forced to kill Vision, the man she loved, and lost against Thanos.
When you pulled away, you caught T'Challa's eye, who was only a short distance away, and exchanged a nod of greeting with him.
“We’ll catch up later,” She moved to cup your cheek and look you in the eyes before placing a gentle kiss against your forehead, “Be careful.”
You smiled, leaning into her touch, “You too.”
Quickly, you spun on your heel and rushed off, taking down soldiers left and right.
“My, my, that’s an interesting talent.”
For a brief second, you froze before turning to face Thanos, the person responsible for every piece of pain you had felt in the last five years.
His unnerving eyes were trained solely on you, and you couldn’t help but feel a wave of rage hit you and you let out a scream, charging at the man with outstretched arms, immediately encompassing him in an unbreakable force field.
Thanos’s eyes flickered with surprise and he swung his sword out to your shield, only for it to bounce back and narrowly missing his arm.
Slowly, you moved your hands together, making the shield shrink around his large frame in the process, forcing him to condense his body to try and fit the space growing increasingly smaller and smaller. It would only be a matter of seconds before it crushed him entirely.
You made the fatal mistake of being too distracted with extracting your revenge that you hadn’t noticed the Chitauri that was creeping behind you until it tackled you to the ground.
A small scream escaped your lips as you went crashing against the hard floor and Thanos smirked as your concentration was dropped, bringing your shields down with it. He rose to his full height and stalked over to you, picking you up by the neck, effectively cutting off your airway.
You began gasping for breath immediately, trying to thrash around in his hold, trying to do anything to make him drop you as your feet barely even touched the ground.
Dots began to dance around your vision and you could tell that it was all about to go black in less than a second, before the hand swiftly dropped you, and you fell into a heap on the ground, coughing violently.
“Lady Y/n!” Thor immediately sank to your side on the ground, “Are you alright?”
Steve and Tony, who- along with Thor- had knocked Thanos off of you, continued to go after him, hitting him with blast after hit in hopes of making any sort of damage.
With one last cough, you took a gasping breath and shakily looked up at Thor, “I’m alright.” Your voice was scratchy and you moved to stand up.
The man’s eyebrows furrowed and he gently held you down, “You are in no state to go on with this fight.”
Your eyes widened, “But, Thor-“
You cut yourself off as you caught sight of something over his shoulder, and you paled further than you thought as possible, becoming nauseated.
“I am inevitable.” Thanos’s voice traveled and he snapped his fingers.
You tensed, eyes immediately whipping around as you looked for any sign of yourself or others to be dusted.
But nothing happened, and your gaze slowly dragged over to where Tony was, collapsed to his knees on the ground, and a scream left your lips at what you saw.
His was in physical pain as energy surged through him from all six of the infinity stones sitting on his armor, and he briefly made eye contact with you.
It’s okay, is what his eyes so desperately tried to relay to you.
Tony Stark turned back to Thanos with a hard look, “And I… an Iron Man.”
He snapped.
Everybody wants to rule the world
Pepper walked by all of you with a sad smile, tightly grasping onto Morgan’s hand as they went by.
You were frozen, stuck with a stiff form as you watched the woman placed a wreath memorial to Tony in the lake. It was a small tribute to the man, it had his first arc reactor placed in it.
Everyone stood around you, tears of their own laying unshed in their eyes, only for a few of them to drop when Pepper took in a sharp breath and stepped back.
You were yet to move, even after everyone had slowly disbanded and began muttering amongst themselves, you just stared at the wreath as it moved slowly from side to side in the rippling waves.
All at once you had lost Tony and Natasha. The first two people to introduce you to your new life as an avenger. You lost two family members at the same time and you were so numb inside that you could hardly feel much of anything.
The numbness had come after the searing pain that had taken place in your chest at their loss, now nothing but a dull sting that you knew was bound to come back in full swing at any moment.
“Hey, kid.” Clint greeted gently, coming over to stand beside you.
You couldn’t even manage a hum of acknowledgment.
Wanda moved up to your other side, extanching a glance with Hawkeye as she did so. But you paid no mind to their concerned looks.
Wordlessly, the woman wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled you to your chest, perhaps trying to comfort and receive that same comfort.
It dawned on you suddenly, something you had never thought about before that moment.
After everything you had gone through all these years, you were nowhere close to being the same girl that had first wandered into Avengers Tower in awe.
You were older, wiser. You were stronger, more broken.
For so long, you had been scared of change, of everything and everyone you had loved moving on from the times that you were a happy family, fighting side by side. All while you were completely unaware that that life was almost nonexistent. It had gone on for a little while, then disappeared through your fingers while you so desperately kept trying to cling onto it. Unaware that all you were holding onto was empty air.
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