#bucky x reader
ok, ok so for the first time in like 3ish years I'm opening up marvel imagine requests!! Let's do this!! My masterlist and ask in bio!
JUST A RULE OR 2:
I write for all marvel characters
No 18+ atm, major character death, and heavy heavy angst!
Fics will probably be around 100-500 words due to my work schedule!!
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Teardrops on Fire
Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.
Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.
What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.
Unbeta'd: Might have some mistakes
Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, mentions of consent
Chapter 5:Little Talks
Morning came pretty fast! Everything that happened after the bite was a blur. She felt her body light up! Like cables finally connecting together; until one by one till there was only peace, and him at the back of her head. Her body remained a bit weak, but her mind was stronger than ever!
She didn’t know how she should feel! One moment she’s getting ready to see the light, and the next she’s mated to her childhood best friend whom she hadn’t even talked to in years.
It wasn’t a fairytale moment! Not like what her mom described or she excitedly read about in books. There wasn’t an undying passion consuming them ; no words of love shared! Only chills, and the feeling of being lost. With him, or without him.
Getting ready to start the hike back was complicated! There were little to no words shared between them in the past few hours. He only woke her up to tell her he’d caught a rabbit, and she should eat and regain her strength.
She hated that despite wanting to spit the pieces of rabbit she’d managed to take a bite of right into his face, she simply couldn’t! He had this emotional hold on her where no matter how much she wanted to punch and hate him, she would still trust and react to him as if he deserved it. They walked in silence the whole time, Bucky was the one who broke the silence first.
“I think this is the best place to set up the flare! The village can see in from the north, east and west...” as he pointed at all the directions
“ once they see the signal Steve and the search team will know where we are, until the we should remain put”
She just nodded! Too emotionally exhausted from being within her own thoughts the whole morning.
Bucky noticed her switch in her emotions, her thoughts had been bothering him all morning. He couldn’t physically read or understand them, but there was a humming within him. It filled him with fear, anxiety, and sorrow.
Even though he himself was scared out of his mind, he knew it was nothing compared to her right now. She went from a peaceful life, to a mate, and a whole different life ahead of her in just a few hours.
The flare was loud and bright, he knew it was only about time till they would be in for company, and he still had to manage to explain to his best friend how totally he had messed up.
“ So...What happens now?” She had creeped up on him while he was deep in thought. He turned back and stroked his stubble while he was scared of fully looking into her eyes.
He felt responsible for her now, an overwhelming urge to protect her from everyone and everything, but the worst part is, he’d chosen that for them!
In her eyes he had betrayed her trust and in his eyes he was a monster. All the self control he’d managed to build over the years, all the regrets he had all lead up to this.
“ I don’t know yet! Steve will be here any minute... it’ll be best I talk to him... Alone!” They shared a mutual stare “ I wouldn’t want you to be involved in this. This is my mess to fix”
She was weirdly curious at the mention of Steve, she’d heard of the packs alpha before Steve. The one that killed her father, and threw away her mother like it was nothing.
Bucky could tell that the mention of Steve made her uneasy, she after all had never met him, or any of the pack as a matter of fact. It dawned on Bucky that not only was she still in shock from the bite, but her world was about to get a whole lot bigger!
Her little cabin would no longer be her only life and reality.
The sound of tires screeching in the distance caught them both by surprise. Out of the corner of her eyes a large vehicle pulled up, and out came a small woman with straight locks of lovely red shoulder length hair. Besides her stood a blonde middle aged man around the same height as her, but more muscular.
They were both betas as far as you could tell, still the unknown fear pushed you to rely on Bucky for comfort. You strode forward towards Bucky, and hid behind his large body, you were exposed enough where you could see the movement of people around, but Bucky’s body still kept you safe and protected.
The red haired woman approached first. She first stopped in front of bucky, confused! But soon she stood on the hard tips of her muddy combat boots, and embraced Bucky
” We thought you’d both died on the trail, there were no tracks to follow... things went cold fast! Steve’s gonna be ...”
Natasha made eye contact with you and most importantly your now scabbed, and healing neck. she let go of her embrace of Bucky and stared at him in disbelief.
“Nat... don’t! I know this looks ba... “
before he could finish his sentence a hand collided with his face. His nostrils flared in shock and the pupils in his eyes dilated, she noticed the beta behind the red haired woman now stood between her and Bucky.
“You took advantage of her!” she pointed at him while the beta punched her back, Bucky caressed his now blushed red cheek.
“ Not more than Steve would’ve “ he replied, fire in his tone!
“ Bucky you know how important she is! We needed her, how could you do that to him!”
Bucky knew Nat was partially right. But he was too proud to admit it.
She noticed that when Bucky was nervous he would fondle with his hands, look at them as if they were brand new, but this time he was different.
He spewed confidence! She could see the alpha in him look intimidating so she stepped closer to him. Her aura immediately calmed Bucky down enough to alert the small woman, the alpha , and Bucky of the sound of an approaching motorcycle.
From behind, a motorcycle approached from her end! She turned around, and saw a large man with blonde long locks, as far as she could tell he was the alpha they referred to as Steve.
His face kept itself hidden behind a well kept beard, he emerged from under the shadow, and she braced herself for the shock of a new face. As the sun shone on him, she was met with a pair of ocean blue eyes, and her heart dropped. He was easily the most single handedly intimidating person she has ever met, yet he looked gentle, and kind all at the same time.
Steve himself couldn’t contain the fire flowing through his veins, the excitement as he approached her evident on his stride. Before he could fully reach her, Bucky was in between her and Steve like a barrier.
“ Bucky move!” Steve used his alpha command voice on Bucky, yet Bucky barely flinched as he just pushed her closer to his back, and away from Steve’s line of sight.
“Steve...” he was face to face with his best friend. Blue eyes colliding in gaze and confusion coating Steve’s face “Things didn’t go well last night! I had no other choice, she was..” it hit Steve slowly at first and then all at once!
The look of betrayal and the smell of his fury even startled her, she was hidden out of Steve’s hindsight, so it must be Bucky's emotions reflecting on her.
The red haired women approached them. So far she’d had no introduction to any of them, but she felt the kindness in her eyes, even through her intimidating gaze.
She stepped between them!
“Not right now... “ she took turns making a calming eye contact with both of them.
The red haired woman wasn’t scared of their alpha rage or hormones, so she must be someone they both looked up to and to an extent respected.
“Not in front of her! The woman turned to her and kindly nodded. “She’s scared!” She turned back to talk to them. “She doesn’t need to be in the middle of your testosterone sandwich right now, let me take her! Clint and I will keep her safe we promise! You guys can beat each other up after we leave” the woman backed up away from them, and towards you.
You could feel both Bucky and Steve’s gazes pierce right through you. Bucky was nervous! You could tell, but he was trying to send you into more distress than you’d already been though. And Steve... your heart skipped a beat the longer you stared at him.
You didn’t have experience talking to people outside of your mom and Winnifred, but his man was making you stumble upon your words in your brain, you couldn’t even imagine if you tried saying something right now.
All the thoughts of your brain this morning seemed to disappear in the presence of these two alphas. You weren’t scared of them, your heart was just curious to know more! And your brain was going haywire, and deep down in your gut you had a really bad feeling.
“Hey! I’m Natasha, but everyone calls me Nat... I know you don’t know me, but you can trust me...”
she looked back at the alphas
“ I would let anyone hurt you! I’m going to take you over to my house at the village and get your wounds looked at, okay?”
She was waiting for your consent and you just nodded and followed her. She opened the door of the vehicle. You cloned into the large seat in the back as she opened a bag and pulled out a blanket. She wrapped it over your shoulders as she sat next to you.
Nat nodded to the driver who looked at the back seat waiting for further instructions. “ We’re good to go Clint!”
As the vehicle wheeled away you could see both the alphas through the rear view window. You could see their lookups moving, but couldn’t make up what they were saying. They both took one last longing look at you as the vehicle disappeared from their line of sight.
His head hit the ground hard! He could feel the crispness of dried blood in his face , his body ready to give in and pass out. He still propped himself up with his elbows, and faced his friend Steve. Both beaten and covered in their own blood, the fight had left their bodies some time ago, but the underlying rage was still there!
Steve collapsed to his knees from exhaustion and now lay next to Bucky, both contemplating their next words, unmoving and exhausted.
Bucky didn’t wanna give Steve too much to read into his answer. He didn’t need to let Steve know that he’d been in love with this girl since before he could grow a beard.
The air was surrounded by the sound of his gasps for air and lips smacking before he spoke
“ I found her, and she seemed fine, I thought we’d make camp...start coming down in the morning... but then” the flashbacks of her laying in his arms covered in her own blood gasping for air plagued his thoughts” she was going to die! “
he faced Steve “ I couldn’t let her suffer! I... I couldn’t think of anything else besides the bite”
Bucky was distraught with what he'd done, and Steve could tell !
“It saved her life... bought her time!”
Steve knew his best friend. Bucky had never been a liar, he’d suffered since his accident, and Steve knew not to pressure him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about. Deep down he knew that Bucky wasn’t trying to hurt him, or her!
The choice he made made him feel like he had no control over his instincts, but Steve knew his best friend couldn’t leave anybody behind. That’s just the way Bucky was, He’d do whatever it took to get the job done and get everyone home safe. Even if it was impulsive and even if they now had to deal with the consequences.
“I’ll make some calls!” Steve pushed himself up and offered a hand to his brother to fell him off the ground.
“There has to be a way of undoing it
... Im sure of it!” Hands on his hips he turned to face Bucky.
“And what if there isn’t? “ Bucky was met with silence, he knew they couldn’t afford to think of the what if.
Even if it broke Bucky's heart, and he had to sell his soul for it, he’d find her a way out!
She woke up in a strange place! The events of the previous hours coming back to her, she realized she’d probably fallen asleep in the car.
“Ohhh good you’re awake! “ Nat appeared from the other room carrying a kettle and from her pockets pulling out a few bags of tea.
“Earl grey? It always helps with my nerves” she smiled at her, she felt as if nat felt pity for her.
“No thank you! Im still a little dizzy if I’m being honest! “ She looked around the house. This was definitely not her old worn down cabin, Nat was a practical woman by appearance, but lacked nothing when it came to decoration.
Her house was painted an emerald green with floor to ceiling windows, white trims, and a fluffy grey couch. It was almost out of a story!It reminded her of the fancy manors she’d read about, and Nat definitely looked like royalty. The emerald also suited her hair perfectly!
“What’s going to happen to me? “ She asked nat, catching her off guard mid tea sip.
Nat lowered herself down on the couch next to her and leaned against the back using her angled right hand for support.
“We don’t know yet! Steve is trying to make some calls and see if the mating can be undone... “
her eyes lit up!
“ Undone by who?” Nat stood up and walked over to a marbled golden desk in the corner of the room, she opened a drawer and pulled out a large piece of paper. Yellow in tint and covered in black ink, where intricate drawings of the surrounding areas along with habitants. She’s never known how big the world was outside of her little cabin, and hunting grounds.
“This map shows all villages surrounding us...” she pointed at different ones and carefully explained their contributions to the treaty.
Humans took to the majority of the land, outnumbering the packs! They made little to no contact except for commodities, and medicines at nearby cities.
The treaty was an alliance of villages coming together to benefit from each other’s resources. The Wendigo's provided moose and large game, the Kitsune's traded spices and wool. There was another werewolf pack about a day's drive, they provided weapons and within their pack was a coven.
Nat drew her fingers through the sketch along the coven. They were ancient magic users! Most of us had lost the ability to shift as generations went on. Only enhanced abilities, and designations were left for most, except for the witches. They still had their full abilities and the protection they needed to practice in peace.
“If anyone can break the bond it’s them, but favors like this will cost the village some people” Nat explained, the Lycan's role In the treaty.
They provided protection!
Warriors to ward off enemies from other coasts, and humans that wanted to take land by force. If a fight needed to be fought Steve sent people to fight, but with the decline in numbers it was getting risky to send people out.
The energy in the room got tense at the thought of sacrificing people for her own sake. It made her feel immensely guilty that she didn’t even know these people that well and they were willing to risk their lives for her.
Clearing her throat and standing up to walk around the room, she explored with her eyes as she spoke ”how’s my mom?” She had been so caught up in her own emotions that she’d forgotten her mother must’ve been going crazy looking for her. Her voice cracked with panic “ Does she know I’m here?”
“Yes! Steve offered her a place here, but she declined. Winnifred said she’d check up on her as much as she can''
Nat grabbed her hands and looked at her eyes “ You have nothing to be scared about, you’re family! We’re sorry it all happened like this! I know you’re confused as to why you’re here, but Steve’s great guy I promise! I know things seem rushed right now, but we’re here to help you fit in”
She still felt as if she had no answers! Why was she so important to them? Surely they had more omega’s like her. Or maybe not... why else would they be fighting for and over her.
“Am I the only ...? “ she pointed to herself in a way that made Nat chuckle and snort a bit.
“ I know it’s a lot of pressure, but in a way .You’re the pack's hope.Steve thinks you and him can give the pack some...”
Nat stopped on her tracks and gave her a half hearted glance ” I'm sorry! I know it sounds horrible when I say it like that! You’re a person not a breeding mule!
“No, it’s okay! My mom told me story’s of omegas. It’s kinda what I was made for...that expands this! She pointed to her healing bite wound. “ the wrong alpha claimed me.
She thought about Bucky, that feeling in the back of her head was still there. It hummed to you like a lullaby, she couldn’t see him, but she felt him. She wondered if he felt the same way too, could they communicate like this or were they just on an emotional two way phone call.
Thinking about her bond with Bucky felt so reassuring, but so wrong! She’s supposed to be discontent with it, but it’s her Bucky. No matter how hard she’d tried she could never be mad at him.
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@austynparksandpizza @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere @patzammit @connie326 @blessedwedgie
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warning: Angst, mentions of drinking
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Summary: Based of the song Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift.
a/n: I wrote this for @gcdric’s Taylor Swift Writing Challenge.
Song: Champagne Problems
Y/N watched as Bucky proposed to another woman. It could have been her, she thought, if it wasn’t for her champagne problems.
Y/N and Bucky were madly in love. Being an agent of SHIELD, she often visited the Stark Towers, to help around. It was purely for work, but what she didn’t expect was to bump into the Winter Soldier. She had sent him a smile, and continued to wherever she was going.
Since then, they both kept running into each other. It was as if the universe wanted them to talk, and get to know the other. And it worked. The fleeting smiles, transformed into a few words here and there, and soon they were conversing with each other whenever they met.
This began the friendship, though neither of them wanted that. Soon, Bucky and Y/N got closer, and the conversations gradually transformed into longing looks at each other. And one day, Bucky got enough courage to ask her out.
The relationship was beautiful. They both were ecstatic. They were meant for each other. But it was like all good things must end. Soon, instead of declaring their love for each other, they used to fight and scream, and yell insults at each other. The relationship soon turned toxic.
But they tried to mend it. After the insults were said, and each was hurt, they tried to fix it. It worked the first few times. But soon the fights were too much to keep up with. And Bucky having nightmares, and not allowing Y/N to help, was just the breaking point. She felt as though he didn't want her. And thus began the end of their relationship.
Your mom's ring in your pocket,
My picture in your wallet,
Your heart was glass, I dropped it,
Y/N wasn't able to see Bucky on a daily basis anymore. It put a strain on the already breaking relationship. She started to drink, to forget. But even in her drunken state, she wasn't able to forget it. The days Bucky came home, he used to enter the house just to step on broken glass pieces, and the smell of alcohol. He wanted to help. But he didn't know how.
And then the fateful day came, when Bucky proposed to Y/N, eyes shining with love and adoration. But Y/N could not. So she refused. “We can’t. I-I can’t.”
The words broke his heart, but deep down knew that the relationship was already broken. And nothing could mend it. “Okay.”
You told your family for a reason,
You couldn't keep it in,
Your sister splashed out on the bottle,
Now no one's celebrating.
After that, everything was a blur. Bucky knew he had to get over it. So he told everyone within reach. They all promised to help him out, to forget Y/N. Every week, he did something new, and Y/N sat and read about it, nurturing a new bottle of wine.
But in the silence of his room, Bucky thought about Y/N. He kept thinking of whether or not she was doing better. Then he saw the speech he had prepared, lying on his table. He thought of the excuse she had made when she didn't take the ring. Sighing, Bucky took it, and tore it into tiny pieces. If he wanted to move on, he had to put his whole heart into it.
"She would've made such a lovely bride,
What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said
But you'll find the real thing instead,
She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred.
And soon, Bucky started to move on. He had met someone new, and it was all over the news. He went out to fancy restaurants with her, he went to the movies, and Y/N sat and listened to all the words people said about her.
They called Y/N all sorts of things, but she didn't respond. She tried to tell people why she had done what she did, but no one listened, no one tried to, and they all made assumptions about her. She tried to move on too, but it was impossible. Everything she did reminded her of him. That's how she was present there that day.
Your mom's ring in your pocket,
Her picture in your wallet,
You won't remember all my,
Y/N was tired of being in the house, the same house where everything started and ended. What she didn't expect was to run into Bucky. He was on one knee, holding a ring, and looking at her with the same love and affection which was once directed towards Y/N, but those days were long gone.
Everyone stood in anticipation, waiting for her answer, and Y/N felt tears spring into her eyes, when she screamed her answer, “Yes!”
Y/N turned away, going back to her house. She couldn't stand there and see Bucky look at his future wife, the way he used to look at Y/N. “He’s happy, he’s happy.”, this was what she kept repeating to herself. She had to accept the fact that he had truly moved on, and that she was good for him. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t find it in herself to love anyone like she had loved Bucky.
Soon, Bucky no longer thought of Y/N. The only thing on his mind was his wife. Y/N saw the progress in his life. The bright smiles, and the shine in his eyes, it was all clear that she was helping him with his nightmares. Something Y/N was not able to do. It was the happiest Y/N had ever seen him, and it hurt to know that Y/N could never make him that happy, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hate his wife.
Sitting on her couch, she reminisced all the happy parts of her relationship with Bucky, gently sipping from a glass of wine. She would do anything to get that all back. She kept thinking, was she right in rejecting his proposal? Should she have stayed with him? She couldn't take it anymore.
You won't remember all my,
Impulsive, she threw the bottle she was holding at the wall in front of her, but instead hit the tv. The bottle broke into shards, and the tv fell down, also breaking, just like her. Y/N closed her eyes, and looked up, willing the tears to go away. Bucky was happy, he had moved on, he had found love in another, and she would love him right. But it hurt so much. Y/N kept thinking, did he ever remember her? Every time he did something with his wife, did he think of all the happy things he did with Y/N? She screamed, allowing the tears to flow down her cheeks. Her heart hurt. She clenched her teeth, to try to reduce the gut-wrenching screams, but it didn't help.
Y/N had come to terms with the truth. Bucky didn’t remember her champagne problems. She was just a forgotten memory.
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A Moment of Your Time - Part 9
Mob!Bucky x Reader (1826 Words)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
A/N: This is long and it’s shamelessly fluffy. I’m not even sorry.
“When will Clint be back? I’d like to thank him.”
“I gave him the day off- I think he was taking Laura and the kids to the beach. But he’ll be back tomorrow.” He tipped his head toward the door, “I know he doesn’t look like much, but he’s a good kid. He’ll cover you whenever Clint is gone.”
Admittedly, you had thought that the wiry boy outside the door didn’t look like your typical bodyguard- he looked barely old enough to drink and you wouldn’t put him at more than twenty at most. But it also surprised you to hear that Clint had a wife and kids.
You’d sort of assumed that this life was a dark and lonely one, but having met Bucky, you realized they were all just doing a job to support their families like everyone else. You nodded absently, lost in thought until your stomach growled loudly.
You blushed and Bucky chuckled, “I guess that’s the answer to what we do next.” He stood and offered you a hand up, tilting his head, “When was the last time you ate?”
You bit your lip pensively, “Lunchtime yesterday?”
He huffed- like if he was going to kidnap someone, he would at least have the decency to feed them. He kept your hand clutched in his, marching out to the kitchen. He pressed you into a seat at the counter and began gathering materials.
Quickly standing, you sidled over to him, “Let me cook breakfast.” It felt strange to sit and do nothing while someone else cooked for you. Movement caught your eye and you noticed Pete had followed you out from the office to stand by the front door. It also felt strange to have someone standing around all the time; didn’t he get tired?
Bucky turned to you, eyebrow raised, but paused to follow your gaze. “Pete.”
“Take a walk.” Pete nodded and slipped out the front door.
“Better?” You nodded, embarrassed by how easily he’d read you. “It takes some getting used to.”
You made an affirmative noise; you weren’t sure if you would get used to it, but you figured it was safe to assume the guards would be non-negotiable. You changed the subject, “You aren’t going to let me cook, are you?”
“Not a chance, doll.”
You rolled your eyes, but spotted the opportunity to test your limits. Leaning in and draping your fingers over his bicep, you fixed your gaze on him, “You haven’t taken care of yourself yet. Let me make breakfast while you clean up.” He glanced at you, refusal on his lips, but you added softly, “Please, Bucky?”
The solid logic of the argument was lost on him as he met your gaze. He wasn’t used to being argued with and he was even less used to losing. But he allowed you to slide the spatula from his fingers with a sigh, “Fine.”
You beamed, noticing the way his gaze lingered on your lips before he turned away. His fingers grazed your hips as he moved behind you and it felt almost like a static shock. You prayed he didn’t hear the way your breath hitched, only exhaling when he disappeared from view.
You tried to brush off the feathery feeling in your stomach, focusing on making pancakes instead of how you wanted his hands on you again. You distracted yourself by exploring the kitchen; you would need to know where things were if you were going to stay here.
Thinking about it again gave you pause; you had agreed so quickly to live with a man you barely knew. Soulmate or not, it sounded a little bold. Were you really so afraid of Rogers that you couldn’t sleep at night in your own apartment? You’d always been a little nervous as a woman living on her own, but the way your throat tightened at the thought of him made the answer to your question clear. This was a different kind of fear.
A hand brushed your arm, “Smells good, doll. Maybe-” He cut off when you jumped, abruptly pulled from your thoughts.
You forced a laugh, although you still thought you sounded nervous, “Sorry. Guess I was lost in thought.”
He fixed those piercing blue eyes on you and it felt like he was staring right through you. It seemed like he must know what you’d been thinking about.
You plastered a smile on, “Ready to eat?”
You reached for a plate and he caught your wrist, “Are you okay?”
His gaze was burning into yours, but you nodded, “Of course. I just didn’t hear you come out, that’s all.”
“Mm,” he brushed his thumb over your wrist before releasing you and you took the sound he made to be reluctant acceptance of your lies.
The pair of you sat down to eat and you paused, “Do you have syrup?”
He half-rose from his seat, “Do you need some?”
“No, I just thought you might,” you covered smoothly.
He didn’t look entirely convinced, but he sat back down, “I’m not usually one for sweets.” He smirked at you, “Besides you, of course.”
Your fork froze halfway to your mouth, heat flaring in your cheeks. Fumbling for a quick response, you blurted out, “Guess you’re not interested in any sugar then.”
His grin only grew, “I’m not sure, doll, maybe I should try some and see.”
Face burning, you took a bit, not trusting yourself not to dig this hole any deeper than you already had. His grin remained, but thankfully, he didn’t push it. You snuck glances at him while you ate, but he didn’t bother hiding his; he would gaze at you every minute or so, like he was putting in minimal effort to avoid staring.
Finally, he spoke up, “So sweetheart, anything on the docket for today?”
“I do have some errands to run,” you admitted. “I have a deposit to make at the bank for my mom. And I was going to stop at the post office to mail a letter for my brother.” You added hastily, “But I don’t want to bother you with that-”
“It’s no bother.” He stood and cleared the plates, “Give me ten minutes.”
Before you could even protest, he’d disappeared down the hallway. Heaving a sigh, you busied yourself cleaning up. After putting away the last of the dishes, you turned around to find him watching from the doorway, a faint smile on his lips.
Unused to this much attention, you sounded more defensive than you meant to, “What?”
He strode in, steering you toward the front door with his hand on the small of your back, “You didn’t have to clean up, but you sure look cute in my kitchen, doll.”
“If I’m going to stay here, I should do something,” you argued.
He chuckled as you stepped into the elevator ahead of him, “No need to get worked up. My girl doesn’t have to lift a finger, that’s all.”
Your heart stuttered in your chest at being called his girl, your complaint coming out too softly to be taken seriously, “Not much point in having fingers then, is there?”
“Course there is,” he grinned, slipping his hand over yours and intertwining his fingers with yours.
Sneaking a glance at him as you stepped out of the elevator, you caught the self-satisfied smirk before his expression sobered as Pete came into view, waiting by the car. Seeing him suddenly serious made you realize that he hadn’t been kidding when he’d said ‘only for you.’ You saw him in a way no one else was allowed to see.
He opened the car door for you, sliding in after you as Pete climbed in the driver’s seat. You hesitated for a moment before sliding over and leaning into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. He paused, likely surprised at the sudden show of affection, but he recovered quickly, sliding his arm around your waist.
Pete glanced back in the mirror, gaze sliding over you to Bucky, “Where to, sir?”
Bucky murmured low, “Your place, doll? I can have the boys bring your things over if you make me a list.”
You nodded, “Sounds good.” You felt surprisingly relaxed being so close, even more so when he began tracing circles on your waist with his thumb. It was strangely intimate, but far from unpleasant.
When Pete parked the car at your apartment, you both reluctantly separated, although he did offer you a hand out of the car, which you kept as you led the way inside. Once inside, you bit your lip, appraising your belongings. What would you want in a new place?
Meanwhile, Bucky wandered through your living room, stopping to look at the photos that lined the walls. Grabbing a pad of paper and a pencil, you began listing the things you needed, although you felt a little strange at the idea of cluttering up Bucky’s apartment with your possessions.
“You look like your mom,” he noted, smiling slightly at the younger version of you smiling out of the photo.
“Yeah, that’s what everyone says. My dad always used to say thank god for that,” you chuckled. Pausing, you glanced at him, “Should I pack up my clothes and personal stuff?” You didn’t really want Pete, or whoever, digging through your dresser drawers.
“You can leave them here, I’ll buy you new clothes,” he said absently.
“You don’t need to buy me-”
“I didn’t offer because I had to.”
He turned around, stepping up behind your seat at the counter and caging you between his arms, his breath on your ear, “I just want to spoil my girl. Is that so wrong?”
Ignoring the chills from his closeness, you sighed, “No, but-”
“This isn’t a fight you’re gonna win, sweetheart. I’m going to buy you things and I’d prefer they be things you like.”
You spun around in your seat to face him, “I don’t need you to buy me things.”
He watched the words leave your mouth, eyes once again on your lips as you gazed up at him. Before you knew it, he was cupping your chin in his palm, his calloused fingers brushing your cheek as he tipped your chin up, bringing his lips down to meet yours.
He kept it soft, working his lips against yours carefully, like he was afraid you would pull away if he went too far. But breaking it off never crossed your mind as every thought disappeared except for making this last as long as possible.
Too soon, he pulled his lips from yours, leaving you staring up at him, brain struggling to catch up as your mind raced. You’d been a fool to think you were the only one testing their limits and a bigger fool if you’d thought you held all the power here. He could buy you anything he wanted as long as he kissed you again.
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•Stream ‘Monday’ Now!•
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Hi all! Below you will find my masterlist! Each work will have it’s warnings next to it, if any. DNI IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 AND THERE ARE SEXUAL THEMES.
All of my work is a work of FICTION and I do not own any media used in my writing!
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
Dating Bucky Barnes Would Be Like... (sexual themes, fluff)
Spring Fever (fluff)
First Kiss Corner (fluff)
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Once Was The Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes x reader AU) - Chapter 3
Summary: Bucky Barnes, the winter soldier, is a S.H.I.E.L.D agent who is sent to Dublin to observe an American scientist who is suspected of sharing super soldier serum with Hydra. He meets and falls for his caretaker Y/n, a girl with a dark secret. (Based on "Ek Tha Tiger")
✨Remember you are kind, strong and beautiful.✨
'Russia and America have fought many wars through the years. But there are two organisations these two countries that are war every day, every moment - HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. The common man does not get any news about these agencies because in the name of national security all the information is guarded forever. But some stories escape these walls and office files. This is the story that shook the very foundations of this secretive world. This is the story of the Winter Soldier...'
Wilfred Nagel's House. Dublin
Bucky followed the professor to his house.
"Rocket! Rocket! Rocket!" He heard the professor scream inside.
Bucky slowed went towards the house and reached for the door. He opened it enough to take a peek inside.
He saw a woman, dancing with a vacuum cleaner in her hand. Her hips swaying rhythmically to the music from the speakers. Her figure, oh so perfect, moving with such grace. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, so he didn't. He took another step inside when she turned back and looked at him.
"Hey!" She shouted as she walked towards him.
'There's one girl who has access to the professor's house, Y/n. A student of Trinity Dance Academy for a year now. And a part-time caretaker of this house.' Fury's words at the debriefing echoed his mind.
"Get out! You really cannot be here." She shouted walking towards him aggressively.
"Sorry, I'm sorry. Relax... I didn’t mean to... excuse." Bucky began to leave, he almost tripped over the carpet. His eyes never once leaving her.
"Will you please leave!" She yelled again.
Bucky was sitting on a bench, he had been waiting for a few hours now outside Nagel's house. He was getting bored and start to stretch himself when Y/n got out of the house.
"You’re still here." She asked.
"Yes, waiting for the crazy professor."
"Next time ring the bell or... you'll get arrested."
"Does he know you?"
"No, I have come from America."
"It will be difficult to say when he will be back."
Bucky was confused. "This is his house, right?"
"Yes, but he goes on long walks with Rocket." She said with a serious expression.
"Hope he hasn’t gone to London. I have just come from there... I could have met him there." He chuckled.
She stared at him, unamused.
"I am sorry... he has troubled me all day."
"Very funny." She gave him a small smile and continued to leave.
"Excuse me... I don’t know anyone here... is there a hotel around somewhere?"
"There's on my way... come on."
They both took their bike and walked toward the main gate.
"We have not been introduced as yet."
"I am Y/n"
"I'm Sebastian." He was on a mission, he needed to keep his identity a secret.
"There, check that hotel." She told him.
Bucky went inside and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me, do you have any rooms?"
"Yes, I believe we do, sir." The receptionist informed.
"Thank you... you look very lovely today." With that, he smiled and left the hotel leaving the receptionist confused.
"No rooms." He told Y/n as he walked towards her.
They walked for about ten minutes to another hotel.
"Try here." Y/n said.
"Hi! My name is Sebastian." Bucky greeted the receptionist and then left again, smiling all the time until Y/n looked at him.
He worriedly said to her, "This is overbooked."
"Listen, my hostel is here... but there are a few more hotels ahead... try them if you like." She smiled at him and then left.
"Sure, thank you."
He waited for a few seconds and then followed her on his bike. He reached her hostel and sat outside on a bench from where he could see her window and pretended to sleep on the bench.
Y/n looked outside through the and was surprised to see him. She opened the window and whistled.
Bucky opened his eyes and began to get up. She gestured her hand for him to come up. He took his bag and went for the door.
"Not from there... come this way." she whispered.
"Climb the pipe."
"This pipe?" He pretended to be scared.
He looked around and stepped on the pipe but slipped.
"It's wet, slippery."
"Wait, I'll get something for you." Y/n turned around to get something from her room.
He looked around again and professionally climbed up in no time.
Y/n came back with a towel and looked down but didn't see Sebastian there. She looked sideways and saw him hanging on to the pipe.
"I have a good grip."
"Okay... give me 100 euros."
"A 100 euros? What exactly do you do?"
"Do you want to sleep in that room or not? It's the next window. My friend stays there but she is out of town... 100 euros?"
"100 euros is a lot. It's more expensive than hotels."
"Okay. Then sleep on the bench."
"Okay, okay... but can you take it yourself. It's inside the jacket pocket." He held himself with the window frame with one hand and the other hand and legs still on the pipe, hovering himself in front of her.
She reached for his jacket to take out the bill and thanked him.
"What do you do?"She asked.
"Me? I am a writer."
"What's your business with the professor?"
"I am writing a book on the finest American minds and Professor Nagel happens to be one of them." He continued walking sideways on the pipe to reach the other window.
"So, you’re here to interview him?"
He almost slipped, "If you interview me later, that would be of huge help."
"Yes... why are you standing on that pipe. Go ahead. Good night." She replied sassily and closed her window.
Bucky knocked on her window and pointed towards his stomach with a pout.
Y/n rolled her eyes, "Can you cook?"
Ideas and criticism are appreciated in the chatbox.
Taglist is open.
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Say You Won’t Let Go
Pt. 1, Pt. 3
@the-romanian-is-bae I got your request for Pt.2, I hope you guys like it! It’s a bit long and I got a bit too carried away haha. But I hope you guys enjoy your stay!💚💚
Warnings: fluff, lots of fluff, bits of angst
pairings: Bucky x Fem!reader
word count: 2,736
Summary: Bucky was worried about the reader and later find out that the reader is pregnant with his kid. Bonus, Bucky remembering the memories and nightmares of his life with you.
The tension in Bucky’s head was threatening to spill. It was dark and ominous inside his blackened soul. He was sitting in a corner of his room, shaking with violence. the screams, it won’t go away. Bucky’s head was pounding, he wanted to scream; to tell the voices to shut up. Just so he could think properly. if you squinted properly inside the pitch-black room, you would see his shredded bed, books were thrown in a hazardous way, and clothes were piled up in a bunch. It was a mess—he was a mess.
Clouding inside his own little world, Bucky didn’t realize someone was pounding at his door. Or maybe that was the ringing of guns and violence inside his head? He couldn’t tell. He didn’t hear the door open nor the soft patter of footsteps coming near him. Bucky screamed when he felt a hand on his shoulder; it burned hot. He remembered how Hydra ripped his arm flesh by flesh, rebuilding it with stone-steeled metal. It was painful. Bucky could still feel the pain that lingers on his left side; he missed his fleshed hand.
Gripping the intruder’s wrist, he snarled. His pupils were dilated and his body was shaking. His senses were clouded, he wasn’t himself. Bucky was in his winter soldier mode. Yet, the intruder did nothing but relaxed under his touch. No, no, no, they should be afraid of him. Why aren’t they cowering away? He was bemused. His eyes trailed up to the stranger’s wrist to their eyes.
Bucky’s whole body was rigid. It was her. His breath hitched harshly when he saw those worried eyes full of love. There was a frown plastered on her face. Not from the vice grip he had, but the state he was in.
Wetting his dried lips, Bucky’s voice was hoarse and itchy. He just wanted to sleep everything off, but he can’t. Not when the nightmares crept up his spine and whispered nothing but triggering words, of the blood that was spilled by his bare hands.
“Y-you shouldn’t be here” he croaked
Noticing the bruise that was starting to form on their wrists, he loosened his tight grip. He cowered away from them, backing away until his back hit the wall.
y/n didn’t say anything but cautiously took a step forward the ex-assassin. she watched as he shrank making him look small. Her heart broke hearing his choked cries, so broken and numb. Standing in front of him, you sat down. Watching as Bucky hunches over, brings his knees closer to his chest even more.
She waited, waited, and waited. Every tick of the clock ticking, waiting for the right moment until Bucky can compose himself. Humming to herself a song she knew when she was a little child from her childhood. Bucky's tensed body relaxes when hearing her voice as it pulls him over. He doesn’t know how long the day has passed but it felt like centuries with just you and him. Listening to his ragged breath calming down, you kept humming. You gazed as he slowly shifted in his seat, putting his hands onto his lap. Peering into those crystal blue eyes that showed how tear-stained they were, your heartbreaking even more.
Slowly, the young woman reached her hand out. She watched as the broken man flinched, dissatisfied with his reaction. Inching her way towards his personal space, moving until he finally says “stop.”
Carefully putting your hand on his shoulder as if Bucky was made out of glass, you’d stand by patiently. Seeing that there is no reaction in him, you dragged your hand from his shoulders to his neck, to his cheek, the. stopping at the middle of his hair. Steadily, you threaded your fingers in his hair, noticing how he grunted and quietly groaned in approval.
Watching as he finally eased up and gazing at you with something behind his blue eyes. Did you see hope in his eyes? Like he was waiting to see if you were the one? To give him a chance? To be normal? Your eyes softened when you stared at each other. Pulling away from his hair, Bucky struck his hand to grab at your wrists again. Your eyes widened.
“Mm keep ‘em there...it...felt nice” he mumbled. Easing his grip on your wrists, he placed your hands in his hair again. getting rid of your shocking moment, you quickly found a rhythm of motion, raking your fingers through his hair as if you were petting a cat. Oh your fingers, they were so delicate and soft to the touch. Bucky wanted more. He almost started purring like a kitten.
You felt your knees ache about how long you have been kneeling, somehow Bucky noticed. Using his non-vibranium arm, he scooped you up and put you in his lap. Securing his arms around your waist.
“You’re okay….just know I’m here for you James…” you whispered softly underneath your breath. Bucky gulped. Letting his eyes wander anywhere but you.
The tension in the room washed away with a feeling of tranquility. It was peaceful. You hoped you didn’t make him uncomfortable just now? But what if you did? Oh, how you wanted to know what was going on in his head—
“....thank you…” his voice raspy and quiet. Your ears straining to hear the quiet thank you. You smiled to yourself, letting your hands drop to his shoulders. Wrapping around your arms, you hugged him. Bucky tensed but quickly relaxed into your touch.
Y/n didn’t need to voice out her welcome for Bucky as he knew she welcomed him with open arms no matter what. Bucky felt loved.
Recalling that memory of when he first met you. He couldn’t believe your bold movements to come out of your way by comforting him for your first time meeting him. He couldn’t be more grateful to be greeted with a kind soul. Then, he remembered how months later, Bucky was warming up to the 21st century with you by his side. His eyes linger on your form as you talked with the widow herself, Natasha Romanoff. He watched as you noticed him staring, giving him a warm smile in his direction. Bucky’s lips quirked upwards. He loved seeing your smile. Throughout the night, the both of you danced and drank your hearts out. He chuckled worriedly when the drunken state of you threw up in the toilet. Bucky carefully held your hair up, making sure it didn’t get in the way. Bucky smiled to himself fondly.
During that incident, he watched as you smiled over your shoulders when he called out for you. His heart still flutters every time you smile at him. No matter how many years the two of you have been together, Bucky could never get over the warm feeling in the depth of his stomach. It made him feel like a middle school teenage boy in love. For years he thought he was stone-cold sober but when Bucky pulled you closer to his chest when you asked him to stay over for the night. He couldn’t help but say yes.
“I already told you I’m staying,” Bucky said, pushing you down gently to your bed, smiling. You had a goofy smile as you pulled him down.
“But Buuucky,” you whined out, making a gesture of granny hands at him
He sighed but pulled the blanket over the two of you. Flushing you closer to his chest.
“You should get some rest Doll. You’re gonna get a huge hangover the next morning” he muttered. Waiting until your chest rose evenly and your breathing calmed. Smiling to himself, he hugged you closer as both of you slept.
Just when years had passed by, Bucky knew he loved you before you guys started dating but you’ve never known because Bucky was always so stiff and he tried to play it cool. Because even then, Bucky knew he was scared of letting go, needing you every second of the moment in his life. He never showed it but Bucky wanted to stay with you until the both of you grew grey and old. Resting his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your lower stomach. Bucky couldn’t hold his emotions.
“Just say you won’t let go Doll” he pleaded, nuzzling into your hair and breathing in your scent.
“You know, I wouldn’t let you go for the world Buck,” you reassured the brunette. Intertwining your hands together tightly, and letting him fall on top of you. Letting sleep take over as you both cuddle on the couch.
It was a beautiful morning outside, birds were chirping and flowers were starting to bloom. It was spring. Rays of sunlight peered through the creeks of the closed curtains. Letting the light lit the pitch-black room of the couple’s bedroom and hitting Bucky's sleepy form in the eyes.
Bucky groaned, feeling the sunlight on him. Knowing it was time for him to get up. He squinted his eyes, drowsy from sleep. Blindly, he reached for you on the other side of the bed. Did he always feel this cold? Bucky tried to feel the bed on the other side, only for it to be cold and empty. Bucky immediately sat straight up; alerted. You weren’t there.
Kicking off the blankets, he immediately went into a panicky mode. Bucky becoming the assassin he had become. Using his super hearing from the super-soldier serum that pumps rapidly through his veins. He heard groaning. Cautiously, Bucky walked up to the bathroom doors. Opening the door, he got into a fighting position, vibranium arm out; ready to kill.
Seeing you are not harmed and no suspicious activity, Bucky relaxed.
There was a frown upon his face as he watched you throw up in the toilet. Your back hunched up and crutching your stomach in pain. Bucky sighed. Reaching out, he held your hair just like the drunken night years before. Grimacing when you threw up for the millionth time. Bucky rubbed your back up and down your spine. He waited until you finished.
He watched as his beloved coughed and wiped away the drool off her chin. She groaned and pushed him away slightly. Y/n tried to stand on her trembling knees before she could fall, Bucky quickly caught her with his quick reflexes. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders, securing an arm around her waist.
“Are you okay doll? What happened?” Bucky grimaced. His eyes are full of concern.
She nodded her head. Letting her head rest falling on Bucky’s shoulder. Y/n took moments of heavy breathing before taking a small step forward towards the skin. Bucky followed through. Bucky sighed as she threw up again. Rubbing circles on her back soothingly.
Hours passed by quickly and soon enough it was the afternoon. Bucky observed his darling behaviors when they ate and sat on the couch. He watched as she winced slightly and the growling in her stomach even when she tried so hard to hide it from him. He notices how you wouldn’t finish your plate of food Bucky made, upset that you declined to eat anymore. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, missing your warmth when you ran to your guy’s shared bathroom; throwing up again.
Seeing you in pain made him upset. He didn’t know what to do, to help ease your pain. Bucky sighed. The former super-soldier decided to get some painkillers for you at the store. Grabbing his jacket and gloves, he left.
Hearing the soft click of the door opening and Bucky’s footsteps fainting in the distance. You pulled out your self-care cabinet to which Bucky didn’t dare to open. He didn’t want to intrude on your privacy (even though Bucky didn’t know why you had to use those skin products. When his curiosity got the best of him, Bucky still won’t dare open your cabinet). Kneeling in pain, you found what you were looking for. A pregnancy test.
You remembered when you told Natasha and Wanda about starting a family with Bucky. You smiled when you watched the two women scream in excitement; happy that they get to be aunts soon. You chuckled when you heard Natasha planning out your baby shower and Wanda carefully telling you to get a pregnancy test before you start doing it. Thank goodness, you listened to your closest friend’s advice. you ripped out the pregnancy test out of its box and bid your business.
No fucking way….
Your jaw dropped open seeing the test in your hand. No fucking way. The results indicated you were pregnant. Wait, there’s no way you’re pregnant? You stood there waiting for the gears in your head to turn. Reality hit you like a truck. Holy fuck. You really are pregnant! You squealed to yourself, jumping up and down with excitement. You were going to be a mom. And Bucky. Oh, Bucky. You bit your lips to contain another squeal. Bucky is going to be a father and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
Buying all the things Bucky knew that would comfort you, he went home. Looking at his watch, his eyes narrowed. Fuck. He’s late for dinner. He knew it was going to take a while but damn it, he didn’t think it would take that long. And so, Bucky ran with bags in his hand. Slamming the door open, Bucky puffed and panted.
A variety of smells washed over his senses. His nose scrunched up smelling food? Wait did he smell steak? Kicking the door close and making sure it’s locked, Bucky put the bags of goodies on the kitchen counter. His brows knitted together, looking everywhere for you.
“Doll? Are you out of the bathroom yet!?” He shouted—half-jokingly. Putting away the treats and the painkiller in the medic cabinet. He heard footsteps from a mile away. Turning on his heels, Bucky rose an eyebrow seeing you all giggly. Mischief in your eyes. Before Bucky could say a word to you, the timer went out. Rushing to full of pots boiling, you turn off the pots before it explodes before turning around to meet your lover.
Dragging him to the diner table. He saw a small box wrapped in wrapping paper with care. Bucky raised his eyebrow higher as you giggled, nudging him to open it. Bucky squinted his eyes playfully at you before opening the box. You held a breath in waiting for his reaction. Opening the box, Bucky took a glance. He tensed up. Seeing him tensed up made her worry. Shit…The atmosphere was off, the anticipation eating you up. Bucky’s face was unreadable and stoic. Turning his attention to you. You twiddle your fingers nervously.
“Is it true? Are—are you really pregnant?” Bucky choked out
You gulped and smiled nervously. Oh god. Did he not want to start a family with you now? Is he going to abandon your guy’s child? Oh god, the pregnancy hormones are getting to you.
“Doll…you’re really pregnant?...” Bucky said slowly
He watched as you nodded slowly. Bucky put down the box along with the pregnancy results on the table. Putting his hands on your stomach instinctively. His jaw dropped, his eyes blew from shock, and his eyebrows raised. Bucky couldn’t believe it. After many trials and errors, you’re finally pregnant. You have a child in your stomach—his child. Bucky licked his lips. He is going to be a father soon. A Father… That word rang loudly in his ears. His shocked face soon morphed into one of happiness and joy. His smile grew wider and wider until his eyes were small crescents.
Lifting you off the ground, he screamed in joy. Startled, you laughed along. There were tears in both of your guy’s eyes. After the high adrenaline, Bucky put you down. Placing his forehead against yours. A few tears slipped down your face, your smile hurting your cheekbones but you didn’t care. Bucky kneeled and pressed kisses against your stomach.
“Hey there kiddo, I’ll do anything to protect you and your mom, I’ll make sure of it,” Bucky promised, his eyes shined with stars and a newfound love and determination. You smiled warmly at him. Bucky stood up, grabbing your hand and twirling you in circles.
“We’re going to be parents, darling!” Bucky laughed breathlessly. You laughed as you sniffled. You both slowed dance around your guy’s shared apartment, smiling about your guy’s future. The future of your own little family.
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could you do a bucky x reader where the reader is like chubby/bigger? i love your writing!!<3
A/N: Thank you so so much for reading my stuff! It means a lot! I loved this request, it was so cute to picture the whole scene and I wanted to write it since the moment I got it. So here you go... There’s a bit of implied smut so 18+ only please. (it’s just implied, the gif is just a soft Sebastian Stan that I feel like captures the whole vibe)
My inbox is always open if you want to request a headcanon or a blurb!
Comfort in your touch
Pairing: Bucky x gender neutral reader
Word count: 763 (I managed to keep this a blurb, yay!)
Warnings: Mentions of plus size/bigger reader.
Bucky finds comfort in your touch. He likes touching you to feel safe, and to feel close, and to feel that you are there.
You are on the early stages of your relationship when you discover that, and you think it is the cutest thing ever because he doesn’t even notice it. Like suddenly his hand reaches across the table and holds yours, or if you are watching a movie he starts playing with your fingers while his eyes stay glued to the screen; it is just a reminder, for you and him both.
So Bucky touches, we have established that. His hands wander around your body constantly, and his touch is like fire burning through your skin with warmth and love and tenderness.
What Bucky never notices, though, is how you move his hands when they come around the small bumps around your waist or when they wrap from behind you to rest on your stomach. It’s as unconscious to you as touching is for him, almost a reflex at this point, of you trying to avoid him holding for more than two seconds the thought of you having something that you would rather not have.
His hands are being extremely needy one day, anxiety being the one to blame. Bucky reaches around you while you are sitting on your couch, his hand traveling around your back through your mid-waist to lay there and pull you closer to him. The moment you feel that, his hand is hold and moved to your shoulder. He tries again and again, fingers moving down your back, but every time he’s meet with the same result.
“Are you okay?” He asks after a while.
“Yes, I am. Why?” You reply, baffled at his question.
“You are pushing me away.” He says in a whimper, his lips in a pout which you kiss lightly.
“I’m not, I’m right here Buck.” You grab his face and caress it softly.
“But your hand…” He travels his touch south again. “I wanted to hold you closer, but if you want me to stop I’ll just-”
You feel yourself panicking from what he is saying, you know exactly what he is talking about. “-no, no, I don’t want you to stop, it’s just that…” A sigh leaves your lips. “…I’m not a big fan of that particular area.”
There’s confusion all over Bucky’s eyes. How could you not be a fan of your body? Your gorgeous body, which gives him nights of restless sleep whenever he closes his eyes. He is completely lost from your words. “What’s not to love about your body?”
Words want to come out of your mouth but you try to stop them, not wanting to break the bubble you’ve been living in. Of course, Bucky notices that.
“You can tell me, I’m not here to judge. Especially not with a metal arm.” He jokes, making you smile a little.
“I just don’t like how that part of my body feels.” Your eyes travel down, not wanting to meet his. “Makes me feel a little heavier.” Your voice is not higher than a whisper.
Bucky’s eyes are filled with concern as he sees you playing with the hem of your shirt. “Hey.” With incredible ease he grabs you by the front of your waist and pulls you to his lap, facing him, your knees straddling his waist. “Your body is absolutely amazing. There is not one inch of it that I don’t love.” Your cheeks are burning hot from his words. His hands were traveling up and down your back and yours moved to the back of his head. “If someone ever told you things that made you feel bad about how you look then they are assholes. You have the most beautiful body I have ever seen.”
You move closer to him to kiss him. His hands quickly move to each side of your waist to hold you in place. “Thank you, Buck.” You say pressing your forehead to his.
He kisses you again, this time deeper. With his arms wrapped under your thighs he lifts you up and places you on your back. “I’m going to make sure you never feel like that again.” His lips move to your jaw and neck, leaving small bites and kisses. “Absolutely gorgeous.” He says under his breath while his mouth explores every inch of you.
Never again the conversation comes up, but Bucky makes sure to constantly remind you how much he loves you. This you. The whole you, insecurities and all, as you have always loved his.
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The Son He Never Got...
Pairing: Steve Rogers x daughter!reader, Bucky Barnes x Rogers!reader (platonic), Peter is there but no real relationship between the reader and him.
Warnings: abandonment-ish??, ✨daddy issues✨, angst, more angst, thoughts of not being good enough, blah blah blah, I think you get it. steve's not really the good guy here. Bucky fluff
Requested: yes/no "Prompts 1, 2, 13 and 14 with Steve Rogers x daughter!reader" #1: "Why would you do that?” #2: “I can’t believe it...” #13: “I hate you.” #14: “Go to Hell.” I don't think I included all of the quotes that were requested... but they'll be there in the next part or two.
Summary: When a boy named Peter Parker shows up as a new recruit, Steve starts spending more time with him. The reader notices, but Steve doesn’t. Bucky is helpful :)
A/N: Thank you for the request!! This is (maybe) the second request that I’ve actually completed :) I hope it's alright!!
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Turning off your alarm, you get out of bed and get dressed for school. Today you were supposed to have a father-daughter date with your dad after school. You decided to wear a plain black flowy shirt, a pair of skinny jeans, and your white Doc Martens.
Throwing you backpack over your shoulder, you head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast and tell everyone good morning before you leave for school. "Mornin' everybody! Hey, dad. Did you pick out where we're going today?" you say with a toothy smile.
"Hey, sweetheart. What're we going out for, again?" he sounded confused, but you just ignored it.
"For our father-daughter date, dummy." you said, jokingly punching his arm. Not that it'd hurt him. He's a super soldier for crying out loud.
"Oh, yeah. About that... We're gonna have to reschedule our dinner tonight, hun. We can do it another night. The team and I are going to meet the new recruit tonight. You should meet him too!" he was rubbing the back of his neck, hoping that you wouldn't be too upset.
"But we've always had our dates on the first Friday of every month. We can't just skip this month!" He's not seriously going to reschedule dinner because of a new recruit... he wouldn't do that to you, right?
"I know, I know. Can we please just have dinner another night? This new recruit could be some serious help for the team."
"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I've got to get to school. I'll see ya when I get back." He's seriously gonna choose the recruit over me, his own daughter? No, maybe it's just more important than I realize.
"Y/n, its probably nothing. Maybe he just needs to talk to some new people. Being stuck in ice for 70 years and all, he doesn't have many friends," your friend, Milo, tries to reason.
"The recruit is my age. He's a highs schooler. My dad isn't gonna make friends with some high schooler. I don't know. I guess we'll just wait and see." It's nothing, he needs to get to know the recruit anyways...
After a long and tiring day at school, you get home to see you dad and the new recruit going over what you're guessing is paper work.
"Hey, dad. Hey, new recruit. It's nice to meet you, I'm y/n." you say, holding a hand out for him to shake.
"I'm Parker Peter. I-i-i mean, Peter Parker." he says with a wide smile. You can see his cheeks become a little more red.
"Well, it's nice to meet you Peter. How long do you think you'll be staying tonight? I can't have you stealing my dad from me already!" you say, jokingly. The three of you let out a short laugh.
"I'm not sure. I guess I'll leave once I've gotten the tour and we've gone through all of the paper work." Peter says. Why does he need a tour? He's only here to train, right?
"Sounds good! I'll be in my room if y'all need anything." you say, adding a fake smile. Turning around, you head to your room. The rest of the night, you do nothing but homework, completely forgetting about Peter.
The next few days consisted of the same exact thing. You'd eat breakfast, go to school, come home and greet your dad and Peter, and go do homework. Had your dad asked you how your day was during the few days? Not once. Had he asked Peter how his day was? Yep. Did your dad ask if you needed help with homework? Nope. Did he ask Peter? Of course he did. Every day. I can't believe it... Is my dad replacing me with Peter? No, he's just helping him out, right? Right.
The next day was Wednesday, which meant you got to workout with your dad and Peter. 'Oh boy. I get to train with two abnormally strong superheros. Yay.' you thought sarcasticly. You went about your day as you usually do. On the way home from school, you texted your dad to let him know you might be a little late because of traffic. You When you got home, you changed into workout leggings and a sports bra, and headed to the gym where you usually meet your dad for workouts. You then realized that your dad hadn't texted you back. When you walk into the gym, you figured out why. Him and Peter were already halfway through the workout that y'all were supposed to be doing together.
At this point, you're starting to realize that your dad is actually replacing you with Peter. Peter's like the son he never got. He's been pushing you and the plans you've made to the side. He's been making Peter his priority.
Walking up to the two sweaty guys, tapping them on the shoulders to get their attention. "Peter, I hate you. No offense though. It's not your fault. Dad, can I talk to you? In private, please?" You do hate Peter, but not because he did anything wrong. He didn't. He's a real good kid. But he's you dad's favorite now. He replaced you, but he didn't know it. So, by default, you hate Peter.
"Hey! Don't talk to Peter like that! He didn't do anything wrong. You can't just walk in here and tell him you hate him. That's not how it works," he practically yells. Your dad never yells at you. The harsh reaction cause tears to swell up in your eyes.
"Dad. I need to talk to you. In private. Away from Peter."
"It can wait. Let us finish what we were doing. Then, we can talk. Got it?" he said sternly.
"Yes sir." you say, holding back tears that you knew would fall as soon as you turn around. And you were right. As soon as you turned around to go to your room, the tears fell, and they wouldn't stop. It only got worse when you got to your room. Forgetting to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to soundproof your room, you continue sobbing, yelling every now and again. Bucky, in the room next to yours, heard your crying.
Bucky was always there for you. He had been since the day he met you. His face when he found out Steve, THE Steven Grant Rogers, had a daughter. You and him have been close ever since. He's more like a best friend than an uncle if you're being honest. You go to him for everything. Well, almost anything. You hadn't told him about what was going on with you and your dad. You knew he'd be pissed about how your dad was treating you and go argue with him about it. You didn't want to make a big deal of it or anything at first, in case it was nothing.
Bucky, hearing you crying, run out of his room and to your door, softly knocking on it. "Y/n? Hun? Can you please let me in? It's Bucky."
You slowly stand up and walk towards the door, opening it. Looking up at him, with red eyes and mascara running down your checks, you move back to the bed. Bucky closes the door and sits next to you. "You wanna talk about it?" That's always the first question either if you ask when one of you is in this kinda situation.
"I don't know. I don't know, Buck." You lean into his shoulder, crying again.
"That's okay. Take your time, y/n/n. I'll be right back." he says, standing up from the bed. You see him walk into your bathroom, knowing exactly what he's doing. The two of you have a good routine for these kinda nights. It's usually always the same, but it works. When you're crying like you are now, you get horrible headaches. So, Bucky will always get you some ibuprofen and water to help. When he gets back from the bathroom, he hands you a two small pills and a glass a water. Without a second thought, you swallow the pills and some of the water. You thank him and set the glass on your nightstand. Pulling the covers up over your shoulders, you lay back down.
"Mhm. Are you gonna sleep first? Or talk? You know we're gonna talk about it at some point."
"I know, I know. Can I sleep right now? We can talk about it another time. I'm exhausted."
"Yeah, of course. But you're not getting out of it, and I'm not giving you the whole 'Its not healthy to keep it all in' lecture. You've heard it enough, so have I."
"Thanks. Mucho appreciated, old man."
"No problem, kiddo. Get some rest, we'll talk tomorrow. 'Night, sweetheart."
A/N: Cool. This is part one of this. Yes, I will (eventually) finish part two of Excuses. I have no idea when, but eventually. Same goes for part two of this one. But I really like this first part, so I think it'll continue. Thoughts? I hope y'all like it :))
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Y/N Barnes is the name you went by. You wore the name proudly, especially the day you married Bucky. He was your soulmate and you couldn't imagine living without him until the day Steve told you he disappeared with the many others in the blip. Steve stayed by your side, the two of you only having each other as you grieved your husband. A month after the blip you found out you were pregnant. "How am I supposed to do this Steve? How am I going to raise his baby without him here?" "I'll be here. It's not the same thing. But I'll try my best."
Eight and a half months later you had given birth to a beautiful babygirl. Rosalina Marie Barnes. Steve stared at the newborn in his arms, "She has his eyes." "I know. I stared at them for an hour wanting to cry." "Why Rosalina?" "Bucky always brought home roses. Didn't matter the occasion. Sometimes just because he hadn't brought me flowers in a while, but they were always roses. Even if it was just a single rose that he picked off a random bush. I had to work that in someway in his honor."
Pepper and Tony helped you as much as you'd let them, Morgan being born around the same time as Rosalina. The two girls became best friends, as they slowly got bigger. Soon they were able to walk and run causing chaos wherever they went.
As five years passed you learned how to live without Bucky. You always told Rosalina about her dad, to keep his memory, and to answer any question she may have had about him. She understood why she didn't have her dad, and as much as it hurt her to know she may never meet him she still loved him with her entire heart.
When Steve told you the Avengers were trying to reverse the blip you didn't know what to feel, thankful Morgan and Rosie were off playing unable to hear the conversation. "This is a good thing y/n." "I know." "You don't sound like its good." "Steve. I spent the last five years without my husband, grieving him. I spent the last five years as a single mother. Spending everyday looking into his blue eyes without him there next to me raising that beautiful girl. And you're telling me you think you guys found a way to bring him and the rest of the world back? Steve what happens when he comes back and he decides a kid is too much for him, or he thinks that I'm not the same person I was when the blip happened? Because I'm not. I spent five years trying to get over him just to fail everyday. I climb into bed everyday just wanting to be held in his arms and to get a whiff of his cologne but cant." You stop yourself unable to finish your train of thought, "Steve. As much as I missed him and as much as I wished he was there for Rosie growing up this is a big change."
When you go home and tell Rosie that Uncle Steve was trying to bring her daddy home she climbed into your bed with your giant photo album asking you to tell the stories of all the pictures in the book. "What's this one mommy?" "That's the day mommy married daddy." "You look like a princess." "I felt like one. Your daddy always made me feel like one." "Do you still love daddy?" "I'll always love him baby. Just like I'll always love you." "Do you think he'll love me?" "I think so. How could he not?" "He's never met me." "Doesn't mean he can't love you. I'm sure your Uncle Steve will tell him all about you."
And he did, as they were being transported back Bucky asked about you. "What happened to Y/N?" "She survived the blip Buck." Bucky could see the look on Steve's face, "What happened?" "Nothing bad. Depending on how you take it. Uh. Y/N found out she was pregnant a month after the blip happened." Bucky stayed silent as the information processed in his head making Steve continue with a proud smile on his face, "You have a daughter Buck. Shes every bit as crazy as Y/N, but shes stubborn like you. Besides your eyes shes her mini me." Steve pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of the three of you on Rosie's last birthday, "She named her Rosalina. Rosie for short. Rosalina Marie Barnes." "She kept my name?" "She couldn't bring herself to go by anything else. She loves you Buck even while you were gone. There hasn't been a day she didn't miss you, even Rosie knows who you are."
When they land Steve calls you to tell you that Tony died. "How's Pepper doing?" "You know Pepper." "Working through everything. How is he?" "Why don't you ask him yourself?" Steve hands the phone to Bucky, the sound of his voice immediately making you cry, "Hey doll." "Buck." The sound of your sniffles makes him want to tear up, "You dont know how much I missed you." "I can imagine it doll. Steve told me we have a daughter." "She's beautiful Buck. Wait until you see her."
The day of Tony's funeral you're helping Rosie get ready trying to avoid being late, but it seems she has other plans. Bucky waits nervously, for him it's only been a week since the last time he saw you, but he knows that it's been five years and you'll be with your daughter. Steve nudges him when your car pulls in and the pair watch as you climb out and go around before you're helping Rosie out as she carrys a gift bag. Pepper followed by Happy and Morgan reach you first, you quickly pull Pepper in with a sad smile "Sorry we're late Rosie had other plans." You watch as Rosie hands Morgan the bag, before she grins as she pulls out a rabbit stuffed animal dressed like iron man, "Squeeze it Morgan." You watch as her and Pepper get teary eyed when the rabbit speaks in Tony's voice, from a recording from one of Tony's voice files, "I love you 3000." Pepper looks at you, "How did you get that?" "I have my ways, theres one more thing." You reach into the bag and pull out a small stuffed cheeseburger that attaches to the bunnies hand, Pepper looks at you, "That's perfect. Thank you." Morgan hugs your legs as she looks at you unable to say anything. Happy looks at you with a sad smile, "I think theres someone waiting to see you. I can watch Rosie." "Thank you Happy."
You make your way towards Bucky and Steve, stopping in front of them as your eyes take Bucky in before you start tearing up. "Doll. You look beautiful." You can't even say anything before he takes you into his arms and you hold onto him tightly, afraid to lose him again. You both sway as you quietly cry doing the one thing you wanted to do for five years.
The three of you move to sit on the steps of the back porch, watching as Happy keeps the two girls entertained. "What's she like?" Steve chuckles as you say, "Sometimes she's a giant pain in my ass." "She's only saying that because she has her mother's attitude." You smile and shake your head, "Theres too much personality in one little body. You're going to have to find out for yourself. But she definitely takes after her dad." Bucky looks at you and Steve confused, "I've lost count of how many times I was asked to pick her up early from school because she got in a fight. A fight in preschool." You nudge Bucky, "Guess what she did?" He just shakes his head as Steve continues, "Every time I asked her she said the bigger kids were picking on the small kid so she fought the bullys." You chuckle, "Sound familiar?"
Ten minutes later she runs up to you, cuddling into your side as she peeks at the man shes called her dad in photos. "Mommy." Bucky can feel his heart thump as the word leaves her mouth, he's always wanted to experience having a child with you he just never imagined you'd do it without him. "Come here." You pull her onto your lap facing Bucky and Steve as she tries to hide in your hair. Not even a second later she's pulling something out of her jacket pocket. "These are yours." She hands Bucky his dog tags, you've told her they were something he never took off, but they fell during the blip and Steve brought them to you. She loved to play dress up with them, always being careful and returning them to their spot when she was done. Bucky looks at the spot where her hand touched his before slowly handing them back to her, "I believe you've kept them safe for this long." She smiles as she holds them to her chest and you kiss the top of her head.
When it is time to go Rosie grabs your hand before stopping and looking at Bucky and reaching for his hand, "Come on Daddy." You couldn't hide your smile, hearing her call him that and him actually being there and not just a picture. Steve nudges his best friend, "Go with your girls." Bucky smiles, "My girls. I like the sound of that." He grabs onto Rosie's hand with his giant hand compared to hers, the three of you walking back to your car. He watches as you help her into her seat before shutting her door, "I'll drive. We had to find a bigger home once she started walking. It's not too far from here."
As you drive Bucky finds himself smiling as you hum along to the music, something you've always done, what makes him stop and look in the backseat is the voice of his daughter singing along to the music as she kicks her feet and stares out the window at the passing trees. He can't hide his smile when he sees your smirk, "Like mother like daughter huh?"
When you park in the driveway Bucky stares at the house as Rosie runs inside, "Tony built it. This is his land, well Peppers now. I couldn't stay in that small apartment anymore. I needed a fresh start but couldn't bring myself to leave completely. After Morgan was born Pepper took over everything Tony did and gave me her old job as assistant. It let's me afford more than we needed without making me work all the time." Bucky still looks at the place you call home, you grab his metal hand, the cold metal having a familiar homey feeling to you, "Come on. There's so much she's dreamed about showing you." As soon as you step foot into the house and lock the door you smile hearing Rosie rummage around in her room, "You got this Buck. Trust me." You lead him to where her room is. When she grabs his hand to pull him further into the room and makes his seemingly giant frame sit on her little bed, handing him her favorite stuffed animals and telling him about each one you cant help but start to tear up, the life you always imagined for her happening right before your eyes.
Your phone buzzes and pulls you out of thought as you read the message from Pepper smiling at the picture attached. She managed to capture a picture of the three of you as you were leaving, Rosie in the middle as you held hands. Your backs were to the camera but its quickly become one of your favorite pictures. You quietly leave the room knowing Rosie is easy to entertain and good at playing host. You quickly open up your computer and after a few short minutes the picture Pepper sent you is printed out and you're sticking it in your photo album. As you close the book you stop remembering the bins you've kept in the garage all these years. You find the one you'd continuously dig through when you were pregnant and couldn't fit any of your clothes, and carry it inside. You stop when you see Rosie and Bucky standing in the hall, "There you are Mommy. I want to show daddy the pictures." You smile and nod, "How about we let daddy get into some more comfortable clothes while I make dinner?" She quickly let's go of his hand, "Can I help?" "Always Love."
Rosie becomes preoccupied with going through the pantry trying to find what she wants for dinner as you lead Bucky to what would now be your shared room. "You'll find everything easy. These are all your clothes. The rest of your stuff is in the garage, but that can wait until tomorrow." Bucky takes the box from you his hand finding the side of your face and you cant help but lean into his touch your eyes quickly finding his. "You kept everything?" With a nod you answer, "I couldn't bring myself to throw anything away. Or donate it. The thought of someone else wearing your clothes, making the smell of you go away was too much for me. And it helped that when I was pregnant and to big to fit in my own clothes that I had backups." For the first time in five years Buckys lips meet yours as you both get lost in the moment. It isn't until you hear a tiny "Eww" that makes you break apart. You both chuckle at the disgusted look on your daughters face as she stands in the doorway holding onto a box of macaroni and cheese, Bucky can't help himself, "What? You don't like this?" He gently turns your face so he can kiss you again, making you laugh into the kiss when Rosie pretends to gag. He let's you go and is quick to grab Rosie making her drop the box and let out happy giggles as he spins around. You immediately know what hes going to do as he stops in front of you, "How about this?" Before she can question anything you both press multiple kisses to her cheeks making her giggle even harder as she tries to push you both away, "That tickles!"
Just hearing the sounds of his daughter's giggles makes him immediately become protective. Even though he just met her he already knows how much he loves her and how he'd do anything to keep a smile on her face. The fact that you gave him a child makes him fall even more in love with you. When you both head to the kitchen to make dinner he can't shower fast enough, not wanting to miss a single moment with you both. As he walks down the hall he finally takes notice of the different pictures that line the walls. There's some of the two of you, some with Steve, with Tony, Pepper, and Morgan. He can see that you continued to live your life but stops at the ones with him in them. He sees your wedding picture and cant stop himself from touching the frame, next to it a picture of you pregnant, then one of you holding Rosie as a newborn. He gets taken out of thought when he can hear two giggles coming from the kitchen, he smiles thinking how much his daughter is exactly like her mother, and wouldn't change a thing.
Bucky slowly eases into your nighttime routine, and being around Rosie. Anytime he needs reassurance about what to do he'd look at you and you'd simply nod or shake your head. He watched as you tucked Rosie in for bed, her refusing to be tucked in unless he helped making you laugh. After you turned off her light he followed you to your room climbing into bed alongside you. "This side feels unslept in." "It should. I can't sleep on that side, when Rosie would climb into bed with me she always managed to sleep on top of me."
As soon as you feel yourself start to fall asleep you feel an all too familiar weight on top of you, "Rosie what are you doing out of bed?" Bucky reaches over to turn on the light in his half-asleep state shocked to find Rosie on top of you and under the blanket, "There's a monster under my bed." "And there's a gremlin under my blanket." Bucky can't fight the smile on his lips as he watches the mother-daughter duo. "Mommy, I need daddy to fight the monster." "Liar." "You don't know that." "Mmm i think I know my own child Rosie. You just want to sleep in here." She looks between you and Bucky with a smile he knows he'll end up giving into everytime, "Can I?" You look at Bucky, "It's up to you Sergant." He can only shrug, "She's already under the blanket." Rosie grins before snuggling in-between you both.
After Rosie's fast asleep Bucky feels her weight shift until he feels her weight on top of him, not even a second later he hears you quietly say, "I told you. Welcome home Buck."
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chapter fifteen - “but she couldn’t”
word count: 2.3k
synopsis: bucky and y/n have their first therapy session after what happened a few days prior... things happen.
pairings: bucky x fem!reader
He wrung his hands outside the door, nervous for what was to come. Bucky came alone now, no royal Wakandan guard to escort him. He had graduated past that precaution, with the help of Y/N's insistence. She was always advocating for him.
Ahead of him was the first therapy session after that night with the bonfire and then the leaning and then the pinky promise and—
He was anxious... to see her. To say the least. He wanted this to work, wanted his idea, their agreement to work. He wanted this to work because he didn't know what he was more afraid of: seeing her again or never seeing her again.
Frankly, he didn't care what their "professional boundaries" were. He just liked to be around her. Personal. Professional. It didn't really matter to him. He didn't care whether they sat across from each other on the therapy couches or if they were closer. Sitting on the floor... leaning...
Again, he didn't care. It was Y/N's worries that worried him.
Just go, idiot.
Bucky was careful when he opened the door, almost as if he was trying not to frighten a timid animal. Her face was carrying a lot. Behind her eyes was an abundance of thoughts, worries, feelings, and more. He wasn't sure how he knew... he just did. He knew her.
He silently made his way to his couch, his side of the room. He felt so separate.
"Good morning," her voice was flat and controlled. Her tone was friendly and light, but still controlled; he could tell.
"Mornin,'" was all he said. He was apprehensive to interrupt what was so far in tact.
"Can I just start by apologizing for how I spoke to you the other day. About your arm and everything else. I was out of line. I'm really sorry."
"It's alright," he breathed, looking up at her. Yep, a lot of thoughts in there. "You weren't exactly wrong..."
"Doesn't mean it wasn't rude."
"I've already forgiven you... like two seconds after it happened. Don't worry about it."
Her eyebrows creased, face contorting into clear concern. "If it upset you, you can tell me. I don't want to let anything fester... please."
"I guess I have issues with the arm, but... not with you."
"Do you want to talk about that?"
Bucky exhaled. "What else are we here for, right?"
She gave him an encouraging look, as if to say go on. He got the hint.
"I just feel sort of incomplete. Having one arm is... strange. And I guess I never had to deal with it before, because Hydra gave me the cybernetic arm... Well more like attached it to me. It's not like I had a say."
"You lost your arm back on that train in the forties, and you never really got a chance to cope with that loss. It's a huge change for your body and mind to get used to, and it's completely understandable that you're having trouble with it."
"My body feels so off now. Everything I do I have to do differently, and it just makes it all so difficult."
"Are there things we need to fix for accessibility? I can talk to Shuri and-"
"No, it's fine," he was quick to deny any assistance. "I don't wanna complain."
"It's not complaining, Buck. If you need help, it's okay-"
"I don't want help. Everyone's always helpin' me. I don't need to ask for more."
"It's fine, I just... need to suck it up and deal."
"There's no reason to 'suck it up' when it's a problem that can be fixed," she offered.
His voice sunk to a whisper, guilt withering his confidence. "I'm sick of being everyone's problem."
Did he just say that? He wasn't sure he meant to. His feelings sort of leak out when he talks to her. Like it's easy. Like it's safe.
- - -
She could feel her heart nearly rupture at his words and the broken cadence in his voice. She wanted to leap out of her seat, pull him close, and hold him until all the pieces stuck back into place. But she couldn't.
Oh, Bucky, she sighed sorrowfully in her head. She wanted to cup his face and tell him how he most definitely was not a problem. How he was wonderful and patient and trusting and kind and a thousand other things she never was. But she couldn't. It hurt to not be able to comfort him the way she felt she needed to do.
Instead, she took a deep breath, and said what she was supposed to say.
"That's a really hard thing to have on your mind, Bucky. I'm sorry. But I can promise you that we really are here to help you. And we want to. I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't feel, but please know that me or Shuri or anyone else - we don't think you're a problem."
He looked down at his hands, avoiding eye contact and mumbling, "Thank you."
He didn't seem convinced. Her chest tightened. She wanted to do more. But she couldn't.
"I flew all the way from Europe to come help you. And I mean, I didn't know you then, but looking back now, I'm damn well glad I did."
"Yeah, but now you're away from home on another continent because of me."
"Bucky, I chose to come here. No one made me."
He put a hand on his forehead, fingers rubbing at his temples in tired frustration. Like he had been bullied by these thoughts for a while now. There had clearly been a lot going on with him that he hadn't told her. A part of her wanted to admonish him. She wanted to scold him for not letting her help. For not letting her erase any and all bad feelings.
"I can't-..." he sighed, voice helpless. "I can't even cut my own hair..."
She closed her eyes, feeling the pain radiating off of him.
"... can't even make myself feel human."
Y/N moved before she could think the better of it. She was in front of him before she even registered the movement. It was automatic, involuntary. Her body just had to get to him. Make it better. Make the hurt go away. Like a reflex. She felt chemicals with him; he was an instinct.
She knelt in front of his feet, looking up at his sitting figure still on the couch.
"Give me your hand."
He stared down at her, confused. "What?"
"Reach your arm out."
Reluctantly he obeyed.
Slowly, softly, delicately, she smoothed her hand over his and up his forearm. Starting at his fingers, moving over the center of his palm, and gliding up his wrist to then pivot her hand so that her fingers were on the underside of his forearm and her thumb settled a tender touch on his pulse point. (the gif!)
She tried to transfer every ounce of compassion into her touch in an attempt to fade his distress, his guilt, his pain. A physical way of expressing that, yes, someone did care about him. So, so deeply. Even if he didn't see it.
She exerted a slight amount of force on her thumb so that he could feel the pressure of his pulse.
"You feel that?"
"That's your heart beating. How profoundly human."
Then she splayed her hand over the top of his forearm.
"You feel the coolness in my hand?"
Again, he nodded.
"That's your body heat. How beautifully human."
Still with a hand on his skin, she moved up to sit next to him. She brought his hand up to his chest, pressing it flat up against the center of his rib cage and holding her hand on top.
"Can you feel that?"
"That's your heart. That's you. You're all heart, Buck. You're so deeply, wonderfully human. All the way to your bones."
She looked into his eyes then, and he bore into her in a way she's only seen one or two times before. Their hands remained against each other, over his heart, when he spoke.
"I don't deserve this... deserve you..."
There was no hesitation. "You deserve everything good and then some."
She rubbed her thumb softly on the back on his hand, hoping to communicate the sentiment as lovingly as she could. She wanted him to know that he mattered.
"Even though I took you away from your home and your work and everything else... all for my stupid screwed up head."
"I don't... really have a home to go back to," she confessed. "Like, yes, I had a place to live, but.. not a home."
He almost chuckled. "Neither do I."
Maybe sometimes home was a person.
"You have people, though. Which is good. You know, Steve, Sam."
"You." His voice was soft.
It made her lungs almost contract. She could've sworn her cells began to heat up. God, she felt so much. Such strong ardency. You have me, she thought. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me. She wanted to say that. But she couldn't.
"Right. And I have you," she offered, trying to reciprocate the sentiment without pouring out the adoration that was in her head.
He stared at her, dead in the face like he was looking into her soul. With his entire chest he whispered like it was the only truth he'd ever known. "You have me."
His eyes were blue and his face was kind and then the back of her head felt warm like someone's hand was on it. His voice was soft and his heart was beating and then every nerve in her body ignited into flames because his lips were on hers. His lips were on hers and any semblance of control she might've had left burned up as she burned for him.
Slow and heavy, she melted into him. Parts of her found parts of him. Fingers softly curled at the nape of his neck, palm pressed up against his chest and feeling his heartbeat. On Bucky's chest, her hand was where his previously was. But now, his hand was cupping the back of her head and it was dizzying.
He tasted like rumination and benevolence and thank you. She moved her lips as if to pull out every inch of sorrow and grief and heartache and say I'm sorry. Sorry for all the things that happened to him that weren't good and gentle. For every hand that had hurt him; for all the hands that had touched him that weren't hers. But she couldn't. Oh god, she couldn't. What was she doing?
She pulled her head away even though it felt like a gravitational pull as strong as the sun's was keeping her there. In response to her movements, Bucky leaned back too. He removed his hand and suddenly she felt cold. No, she felt frozen. How could this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen.
"I-I," she stammered, having no idea what to say. "I'm so sorry."
She looked away from him, eyes anywhere but his. She stared to the side of the room.
"No, I-... I can't- we can't... this is-"
"I kissed you."
She avoided whatever that was the same way she avoided his gaze.
"This is transference," she declared, not even dignifying what he said.
"Transference, it's- it's when a patient's feelings from something or someone else get redirected and projected towards their therapist. That's... that's what's happening here."
He didn't seem very convinced.
"Yes. It happens sometimes, it's not anyone's- ... it's okay."
"This is okay?"
"No!" she caught her breath. "No. The... action is not okay, but the fact that it happened isn't something to be faulted. It's not unheard of; it's a common phenomenon in therapy, so..."
She could feel him looking at her. She wished he'd stop. She felt like she might faint. Her lips were numb.
"So, it just can't happen again. Okay? No one's in trouble. Let's just... be aware of the possible consequences of transference and make sure it doesn't happen again."
She thought there might've been a slight inflection of fear in his voice.
"Look at me... please."
She sighed and turned her head. Fuck. She wished she'd drown.
"Does this mean you're leaving?... or not leaving for that matter?"
His eyes were pleading, vulnerable, and scared. If she was honest, she wasn't sure she could leave him if she tried. In fact, a tiny repressed part of her mind wanted to stay with him forever. But she couldn't.
She reminded herself why she was here, and why they needed boundaries. But when reasoning with her inner logician, she wasn't sure leaving would even be the best option. It's not like Bucky needed more disruption in his life. He needed some sort of constant, something reliable and trustworthy. At least that's what Y/N told herself as she realized that if she left him with that look in his eye, she could never forgive herself.
"No, I don't... I don't have to leave. As long as we make sure that doesn't happen again."
Relief visibly flooded his face. "Okay... okay, good."
Seeing his worry wane was alleviating. Though, she wished she could do more. She wished his hand was still on the back of her head, and her hand was still on his chest. She wished she could rewind back to that moment and just sit within it for a bit longer.
But she couldn't.
delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lauxrens @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @maravderofthephoenix @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts
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mhmm fictional characters 😍😍
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when the storm ends - b.b. (1)
The night before he went away, the golden sky sitting on the horizon held the false promise of youth, of love, of eternal renewal. However, James Buchanan Barnes was sure he knew his fate. To die with purpose for a cause he cared for.
But what if his fate was her? And what if when the storm ends, although it is terrifying, it could be beautiful too.
Cornwall, England 1941
“I simply do not care what you say, Jane. I am bringing my best and only pair of nylons”, Charlotte protested as she carefully stirred the lemonade she was making with her sugar rations.
The sun was slowly setting through the kitchen window of the nurses’ home, marking the end of another day, another shift complete.
Jane raised her hands as if in surrender, examining her carefully pinned curls in the silver teapot. “Lottie, I am only stating the obvious fact that you are not going to be wearing your damn nylons on the front line. No matter how many dashing soldiers you attend to.”
Lottie sighed, pointing her wooden spoon at Jane accusingly. “Oh, don’t be such a fuddy-duddy Jane, dear.” Charlotte glanced around at you in defense, “Hey, can you side with me for once?”
You looked up bemusedly from the button you were attempting to sew back on to your uniform cape. Like clockwork, these arguments took place almost nightly in the nurses’ home. The fashionable Lottie and the logical Jane debating the necessities for wartime nursing.
“Lottie, I haven’t had a pair of nylons since my last pair laddered while dancing with Will Larkin. They are nowhere to be bought.”
Lottie made a face into the saucepan of sugar and lemons. “It looks like I won’t be winning this argument.” Jane hummed in content conclusion, diligently finishing her nursing notes.
A comfortable silence of forgotten arguments lay between the three of you as the low mumble of the radio filled the gaps. Jane sighed loudly as she rose to her feet with her logbook of nursing notes. “Another day finished, another day closer to being shipped off.”
Charlotte hummed in acknowledgment as she lifted the lemonade off the hob to cool. “When will we be called to the front line, though? That’s the question.”
Brooklyn, New York 1941
Bucky sat deep in thought on the concrete bench in the small park opposite his childhood home.
The bench had been there as long as he could remember. Much like everything on this street.
In 26 years, the tree lined street that he had grown up had not changed.
Thinking of it...it was probably the only constant factor in his life. Through High School, through his construction apprenticeship, through the many whirlwind relationships and chaste kisses on doorsteps. Through his military training. Through the death of his father.
The street remained unchanged despite passing time, with its rusting white fences, potholed sidewalk and reliable neighbours. Bucky knew every quiver of its beating heart.
Bucky also knew as soon as he walked through his front door, for the last time things would change. He would announce his departure, his mother and Becca would cry, he would leave and ponder the idea that he may not return.
The elm trees would continue to grow, the milkman would continue to come every morning at dawn break. But Bucky’s life would change forever.
Bucky didn’t know if he would ever return home again. So, for now, he would sit here and remember Poplar Street as it would remain.
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A Heart Set Free (GangMember!Bucky AU) Pt 16
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1359
A/N: Kind of short slow chapter I know, but it is a lead into drama I promise :)
The ride to the warehouse felt longer than it should have been, even though Bucky was speeding even more than usual. They didn’t even change. She was still wearing her track pants and his sweater, while he was still in his track pants and had pulled on a random shirt and his leather jacket as they ran out the door. He didn’t even grab his glove.
Y/N’s mind was just racing. Her and Wanda's conversation was very brief. She had told her of Pietro and to get to the warehouse and then hung up. She found out after that Steve had told Bucky the same thing though it was a pretty easy guess.
When they pulled into the parking lot she really just hoped this was some terrible prank or just a mistake. Pietro couldn’t be dead.
As they entered the large main room of the warehouse her heart dropped. All but Clint were standing around one of the tables, on the table was a body. Most of him was covered by a black sheet, there were obvious wet spots seeping through from what she guessed was blood. His head was exposed though, it was pale and lifeless as Wanda stood sobbing over it. Vision was next to her with his hands on the edge of the table, he was gripping it so tight his knuckles were white.
She wasn’t able to step forward until Bucky placed his hand on her back and led her forward. Her legs finally caught up and she walked towards the table with him. The tears were already running down her face as they stood with the others.
“How?” her own voice surprised her as she didn’t even realize she would be able to talk right now. Not with what was in front of her at that moment.
“It was Stark. It had to have been!” Sam was louder than what she was expecting, he was mad. They all were. She could feel the anger and the depression in flowing through the room.
“It wasn’t Stark,” the voice was almost too quiet to hear. She did realize it wasn’t any of them standing around her that spoke. She noticed Bucky and Steves gazes turned up and she looked the same way. It was then she noticed Clint was sitting up on one of the rafters. She was just able to see him. She could just make out that he was bruised and bloody. He must have been there.
“I’m with Sam. It had to have been him. Ultron probably never went against him. He probably just said that to get all of our attention off of him. To make us trust him,” Scott spoke up as he paced the room, seeming like he was trying to figure out in his head how he could have made things go differently.
“I went through all of his information when I was at Stark Industries. Ultron is doing this, not Stark,” Vision said quietly, his hands not moving from where they were gripping the table. Looking like if Pietro's body wasn’t on it he could flip it.
“And how are we supposed to trust you, huh? You were one of his men. You fought against us for years!” Sam said walking close to Vision, getting in his face. Vision turned to face him and the two stared each other down.
“Enough! Both of you,” Steve told them sternly. They waited a moment but Sam did eventually back off, kicking a chair across the room in anger before going to sit with Hulk on one of the couches. Vision turned and wrapped his arms around Wanda to help comfort her. “Clint. You were there. Just tell us exactly what happened,” he said looking up at the other man perched in the rafters.
“The kid called me worried about all this shit with Stark and Ultron and wasn’t happy with Wanda being at Stark's place in case she was in trouble. So we went for a run like we do...did. We were ambushed. I couldn’t see anyones faces and they came in and were ready to fight. We held them off, killed a couple of them. But...he got in front of me. They shot while I wasn’t looking, I thought the guy was dead but I was wrong. The kid jumped in front of me,” his voice started to break at the end of his story. He spoke a little all over the place but the shock probably made that happen. “It should have been me!” he yelled the last sentence, throwing the arrow he had in his hand, it lodged into the wall across from him.
The room went quiet after that.. Everyone taking in Clint's words about what had happened the night before. She couldn’t believe that while she was happily sleeping next to Bucky this was going on. This whole life that they were in was really starting to get to her. She would actually have to wonder who they would lose next.
She looked around at the others, though she wasn’t close to them she could start to be. Bucky already was and if any of them died she didn’t know what he would do. She wasn’t even sure what he was going to do now.
“Vision. Were you able to pinpoint Ultrons location?” Bucky asked, she realized that this was the first thing he had said since they had gotten there. When she looked at him his face was emotionless and unreadable. Vision looked to him and nodded.
“Down to a small area. I can’t guarantee that he will still be there right now, but that would be his last known location,” Vision explained. Bucky looked over to Sam and Hulk who both seemed to be able to read Bucky's mind. The two men stood from the couch and all three of them headed over to where the guns were lined up and ready to go. Each started to load up. Y/N stood frozen in place trying to figure out what was going on.
“Oh I’m not missing this,” Scott said, catching on, running over to do the same as the other guys. Steve sighed, shaking his head.
“No! I know what you guys want to do and it’s not happening. We need a better plan than what you are thinking. Storming the place isn’t going to cut it,” he said scolding the others. They looked at him but continued to load themselves up. “Guys! Stop!”
“Well what is going to work, Steve?” Y/N had never heard Bucky yell like he just had. She had never seen him so angry before. “Us sitting on our asses until we all get gunned down in the street? Is that working? Who's next? Will they come back for Clint? His family? Go for Wanda and get both twins? What about Y/N?” He continued to yell while gesturing to the others in the room that he spoke about. She almost jumped when he mentioned her, she didn’t know why. “We’re going in. Vision text one of us the location. Whoever wants to come, then come. Ultrons going to pay for this,” Bucky glared at Steve as he spoke. He wasn’t thinking rationally; she knew that.
“Bucky,” her voice spoke up among the tension filled room. He didn’t look her way though. “Bucky. You need to calm down. I know you are angry. But Steve's right,” she started but he just turned away and grabbed a few more things that he needed. Next thing she knew he came over to her and kissed her. She could pretty much feel the anger coming through the kiss but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. He pulled away and didn’t say a word as he turned and walked out of the warehouse. Sam, Scott, and Hulk on his heels.
Wanda tried to follow them but Vision wouldn’t let her.
Y/N stood shocked as she watched after him. Unsure what to do with herself, also being he was her ride, she simply went and sat down on one of the couches to wait. And think.
Tag List: @boundtomyfate @oneweirdbean @watchoutforfrostbite @cutie1365 @queen-of-elves @yuppersyup @spn-obession @new-romanticz1989 @paranoiadestroyah
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fun fact: i cried while drawing this.
Color study of Buckaroo (also on my instagram!)
DM me for art commissions info ✨
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Angstpril Day 4: Betrayal
James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: 2,009 *unedited*
Warnings: Mention of torture. TFATWS SPOILERS
Hello! It’s been a while--sorry, I’ve been sick as hell. But I’m okay now! I think. I did write this while under a major brain fog bc of my second covid shot, so excuse any errors lol. But how would we feel about turning this into a series?? Let me know!! As always, feedback welcomed and appreciated! :) Gif credit to original gif creator. Also, I know it’s April 15, but I’m going in order even though I know I’m super behind lol.
“Maybe it was because she was such a lovely, beautiful thing and he was protective of her name, since that was all he had left of her, and he didn’t know what finding her meant.”
Again-- TFATWS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
He could feel his stomach churning, bile building up in the back of his throat as the image of the shield tainted with blood replayed over and over again in his mind. The shield was symbolic--was supposed to stand for everything that Steve stood for, and to see it smeared with the blood of an innocent man made Bucky want to throw up. While he may have been guilty of the crime of being a Flag-Smasher conspirator, the man wasn’t responsible for Lemar’s death. And, even if he was, killing him was not the proper response. No, John Walker had lost control of himself and effectively destroyed the image of Captain America, the one that Steve Rogers had worked diligently to uphold--even going so far as to keep his own cuss words to a minimum.
Bucky had seen his fair share of death. Had been responsible for much of it, too, and not once did he ever feel as though he was going to lose his lunch over it. But this was different.
Sam sat beside him, having not uttered a single word as the two of them boarded the plane back to the US, having lost Zemo and effectively pissing off a whole bunch of people by doing so. The silence continued all throughout the flight--from takeoff until landing, and even lasted well until the two had disembarked from the plane and made their way into the hangar.
It hadn’t been awkward silence--the two of them obviously had lots on their minds, and Bucky was under the impression that Sam was thinking the same things he was. About the bloody shield, and how the hell they were going to get the shield back from a man who clearly didn’t deserve it.
He probably could have gone the rest of the day without speaking, choosing instead to marinate on the day and everything that went wrong, but Sam dashed that when he spoke, “Buck...I have to tell you something.”
Bucky turned his head to look at him, an eyebrow raised in question, “You regret giving up the shield?”
Sam scowled at him, brows furrowing in frustration, “I did not give up the shield. But no, that’s not what I have to tell you. It’s something important.”
The two of them were the only ones in the hangar, save for a few mechanics working on the plane they had just stepped out of and were certainly too far away to hear any of their conversation, and yet Sam was speaking low and soft. Like it was a secret he didn’t want anyone else to be privy to.
Bucky waited for a few moments, looking at Sam expectantly. Yet The Falcon didn’t say anything else; he looked pained, as though what he had to tell him was something that was hurting him to keep inside. But Bucky was impatient, and he didn’t want to wait around all day for an answer he may not get, so he huffed in annoyance and stalked off.
He probably would have completely left the hangar if Sam didn’t finally find his voice, “We found (Y/N).”
He paused, his blood instantly turning to ice. There were only two people, besides himself, who knew who she was, even knew she existed. Steve knew her because they had all been friends once upon a time. After Bucky had come back, and during the time Steve was rebelling against his Avenger friends, they had tried to find (Y/N). They’d searched high and low for her--death records, a grave marker, something. But they couldn’t find anything. When Steve had returned from his time jump after defeating Thanos, he had pulled Bucky aside and said there wasn’t any trace of her in the 40s, either. It was truly as though she had disappeared.
Ayo was the only other person who knew about her. Knew who she was and what she meant to Bucky--what she’d meant to Steve. With all the time Bucky had spent with her while they worked to free him from what was essentially programming, he got to know Ayo. And she got to know him. So it only made sense for him to explain who (Y/N) was, and why he sometimes mumbled her name in his sleep.
Bucky slowly turned around, eyes locking with Sam. He wanted to be angry--for what reason, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was because she was such a lovely, beautiful thing and he was protective of her name, since that was all he had left of her, and he didn’t know what finding her meant. He was almost scared to ask. And yet, yet Bucky forced his breath to even and his mouth to work, “What do you mean you found her?”
He could see Sam swallow as he tried to choose his next words carefully. Clearly he knew what she meant to Bucky, and clearly he knew that whatever words came from his mouth had to actually be worth something. “I mean, we found her, Buck. She’s alive.”
Alive? Bucky felt himself go dizzy instantly, his legs wobbling underneath him. He didn’t remember grabbing onto the railing, but as he felt the cool railing underneath his hand he tried to pull himself back into reality. Emphasis on tried, for every time he tried to steady himself and ask Sam to clarify what he meant, he went dizzy again. It just wasn’t processing; he didn’t know how she could be alive.
It’d been seventy-six years since they lost saw each other. Seventy-six long years filled with loss and war, among other things. She had been twenty-six, he twenty-eight, when Bucky went tumbling into the icy ravine from Zola’s train. In the depths of his nightmares he still saw her face as she watched him fall, heard her screams of anguish. That was in 1945.
“A-alive?” Bucky didn’t even recognize his own voice. “What do you mean alive?”
Sam nodded, slowly taking a step towards the still-woozy Winter Soldier. “I mean that she’s alive, Bucky. And she’s--she’s been asking about you. And Steve. Which is why I figured I should tell you.”
“Been? How long have you known about this?”
The Falcon sucked on his lower lip, slowly blinking at him. “About a month now.”
The wooziness and the dizziness that Bucky had been feeling quickly washed away as the words registered in his brain. Sam had known that (Y/N) was alive for a month, and knew that she knew him, and yet he hadn’t said anything. Bucky didn’t think there were enough words in the English language, or in any language for that matter, to explain the sudden anger that thrummed in his veins. In two smooth strides he was in front of Sam, the veins in his neck tightening, “What do you mean a month, Sam?” he spat.
Sam held up his hands and took a step back from Bucky, “I mean--when I first donated the shield, Rhodey handed me a file. A huge file that was bursting at the seams. I didn’t know what it meant, but I looked through every page, read every word. It was (Y/N)’s file, Buck. From her enlistment as a combat nurse until now. She’s been alive this whole time. The military--” Sam swallowed again, shaking his head in disgust. “The military had her the entire time. They were running...tests on her.”
He was still angry, but now his anger had expanded to include the US military, “Tests?”
“They gave her the serum, Buck. After Steve went in the ice and the war ended, they had no one to run tests on to test the strengths and weaknesses of the serum. They gave her the serum. Against her will. And they basically--tortured her. Shock therapy, cryogenics. Everything. It was heartbreaking to read. But she’s alive...and she’s here, if you want to see her.”
Bucky could feel his heart break in two at the mere thought of (Y/N) being put through the same level of torture he’d had to endure. He couldn’t even imagine how scared she’d been throughout it all. It was still a hard concept to grasp, her being alive and breathing. Yet at the same time, it made sense. There was no other explanation for the inability to find a gravesite or even a death certificate. Because she’d never died in the first place. He felt his legs go wobbly again, and this time Sam had to reach forward and grab onto Bucky’s arms before he collapsed onto the ground.
“Take me to her. Please.”
And that’s exactly what Sam did. Once he was sure that Bucky wouldn’t collapse without his aid, Sam led him out of the hangar and into the back offices, where the pilots and mechanics usually kept their desks. But, nestled in the corner of the office area, was an interrogation room, used mainly when the military brought back a suspect that needed to be questioned immediately for whatever reason. That’s where Sam was leading Bucky, all the while the Winter Soldier’s mind was going a million miles a minute.
He didn’t know what to expect, let alone how he was going to react when he saw her. There was a part of him that still didn’t want to believe Sam, wanted to believe that he was just pulling some sort of trick. But Bucky knew that Sam wasn’t that type of person, and he wouldn’t do something that cruel.
When Sam ushered him into a room that had a two-way mirror looking into the room, and Bucky saw her sitting there with a steaming mug clasped between her hands, even Bucky couldn’t have predicted the tears that welled up in his eyes. There she was, in all her beauty, looking as though she hadn’t aged a day. Just the same as him. His heart ached, both for her and at the sight of her.
A lone tear rolled down his cheek as he continued to stare at (Y/N) through the glass, eyes pouring over every feature. Every bruise, every cut. As if she was going to disappear and he would never see her again. “How could you keep this from me?” he muttered.
He was angry, and he felt betrayed. Both by Sam and by the very country he fought for all those years ago. Not just by the fact that she was alive but by the fact that her very existence had been practically wiped away, that her life was no more than a blip during the war. It hurt him in his very core.
“I had to. When I first got that file, she was...a mess, to put it lightly. She didn’t know what year it was, she couldn’t understand how she had lived for so long. It was a lot. In truth I don’t think she understands what happened, even now. And she’s got a lot going on in that head of hers. Things that she won’t talk about with me. So--I figured I’d bring you in. Since she’s been asking about you and Steve.”
Another tear slipped down Bucky’s cheek. That wasn’t a good enough explanation for him. It wasn’t a good enough explanation because there had been this hole in his chest for so long, one that only Steve truly understood, and Sam had held the key to healing that hurt for a month. A damn month. And hadn’t even thought about bringing it up to him. Bucky would have understood that she needed time. Did Sam not trust him to give her time? Was Sam worried that he would thrust her back into her mind to endure the trauma? Surely not.
And yet, Sam didn’t tell him. So what else was he to think?
When Bucky didn’t respond, Sam continued, “Who is she, anyway?”
Bucky sniffed, reaching up to wipe at his eyes and trying desperately to blink away the tears as he glanced at her hands, still clasped around the mug. A somber smile appeared on his lips, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “My fiancée.”
permanent tags: @naboo-nights @ayo-cowbelly @anakinswhore @haydens-moles @shads121 @laserbrains
also tagging: @josephines-journal & @mr-and-mrs-sith for this one :)
Join my taglist! *please make sure you’ve got your settings on tumblr set to “find in search results”, otherwise I won’t be able to tag you!*
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Bucky Barnes x reader x Sam Wilson
⊙ Bucky Masterlist ⊙ Main Masterlist ⊙
Summary: You make Bucky and Sam do bonding exercises so they can grow closer.
Word Count: 538
Warnings: none just fluff
A/N: I thought of some dialogue and just went with it. I had a lot of fun writing this-
You walked out of your room and almost ran into Redwing, soaring through the air.
Sam appeared from the corner, a big smile on his face, “I’m testing out his new features, what do you think (y/n)?”
“I think you should get Redwing out my face.” Sam made Redwing come back to him, so you don’t get any ideas.
“You and Bucky have no respect for Redwing.”
“I have respect for Redwing, I just don’t want Redwing in my face while I’m trying to walk down the hall.” You complained, walking down the hall to kitchen, where Bucky was.
“I’m still surprised we haven’t all tried to kill each other yet. Especially you two.” You say gesturing to Bucky as Sam walked in.
“We’re cool.” Bucky replied looking at Sam.
“Yeah sometimes I don’t believe that.”
“Doll, he’s okay. He’s nice.” After Bucky said that, Sam had a mischievous glint in his eyes, “thank you cyborg.”
“I take it back.”
“Why can’t we just all get along? We’re all friends here.”
“Correction, we are your friend.” Bucky responds, pointing at you, Sam nods in agreement.
“He’s got a point.” You groaned, plopping on the couch, throwing your head back. You flung your head back up after some time with an idea.
“Let’s do a bonding exercise!”
“A what?-“ Bucky and Sam stare at you waiting for an explanation.
“I mean I want us to all get along, and the only way that’ll happen is with a bonding exercise or..a couple.”
“It doesn’t have to do anything with staring right (y/n)?” Sam asked in reference to what happened with Bucky’s last therapy session. You shook your head and smiled, “no you don’t have to worry.”
“Okay so how about a trust fall?” Sam and Bucky look up and down at each other before Sam blurted out,
“That metal arm adds weight-“
“Sam-, okay we don’t have to do the trust fall, um,” you glanced around thinking of more ideas when your eyes landed on Sam and Bucky. Both of them smirking, “don’t think you’re getting out of this bonding exercise, I have more ideas.”
“Two truths and a lie! How about that?” They shrug accepting this idea so they can get it over with. You did love your best friends but gosh they can be a pain.
“Ready birdy?” You turned to Sam with an encouraging smile on your face.
“I'd like it if you stopped calling me that.”
“I mean, you are called “The Falcon” which is a bird.”
“(y/n), leave Sam alone.”
“Oh so you want me to mess with you, Buck.”
“He’s a bionic staring machine.” Sam interrupts making you laugh.
“Really, doll?” You cover your mouth trying to stop laughing. “I’m sorry Bucky but that was a good one.”
“Can we just start already?” Bucky asked, visibly grumpy about the situation.
“Okay okay, enough making fun of everyone, Sam go.”
“I’m from Louisiana, (y/n) is my best friend and Bucky isn’t annoying.”
“Sam all of those are true.” You looked back at Bucky, he’s sat back and so unamused with this bonding exercise. Then you looked back at a smirking Sam,
“I can’t with the both of you.”
Bucky Tags: @ragnaroqk @mollysolo @mogaruke @whothehellisbuckybarnes @amelia-song-pond @fredweazleyswh0re @tinylumpiaa @i-reblog-fics-i-like @weenersoldierr @stephthepeach @sammypotato67 @ttalisa @mxltifaves @supremethunda @hanniebee33 @gamerartisy @afraid-to-be-me
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We’ll Find Each Other | b.b angst & fluff fic
Request: “I know this is horrible of me, but can somebody write an imagine for me where Bucky x Reader in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, the reader gets badly injured/killed during the fight in episode four, involving angry Sam and scared/sad Bucky?”
Summary: Y/N gets badly hurt by John Walker. Her friend and ex-boyfriend are worried and protective.
Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @sybil-moon-is-a-mess @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes
MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @mochamoff @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @extraordinary-fangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @hateinthemorning @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok
Taglist for this fic: @poedamneron01 @eternalharry @7minutes-tomidnight @ally22042000 @awesomemikaus
A/N: Thank you for allowing me to write your request! I hope that you enjoy it.
WARNING: There are some mentions and descriptions of blood and injuries but it’s not incredibly descriptive and this fic is long.
Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here!
MCU Masterlist | Main Masterlist
header c @/castielbarnes
Y/N wasn't supposed to be involved. Not now and with what happened so many years ago, before the Blip, when she and her best friend Sharon were forced to go on the run. The two women had helped Steve with his fight against the other Avengers and when Bucky was sent to Wakanda to remove the brainwash done to him, Y/N volunteered to accompany him when Steve and Sam had to go on the run, and they struck up a romance, however it was interrupted when Sharon needed her help as the government was close to tracking her down. So, Y/N had to leave Bucky but, just recently, she had seen him again.
Both were equally surprised and you bet it was awkward for everyone in the room. Y/N let Sharon do the talking, avoiding eye contact with Bucky. God, she had always thought about, planned, when she would reunite with him. It wasn’t even supposed to happen like this, but it was, and now she was in yet another situation that wasn’t supposed to happen as she was standing next to Sharon, listening as she informed Sam of what was happening with the Flag Smashers and John Walker.
“Yeah, I’ll text you where exactly it’s going down. Just get there soon, okay?” Sharon said into her phone, and there was a brief pause before she nodded and then hung up, going to text him. As she did so, she added, “Y/N, you need to go help them.”
“Sorry, what?” Y/N asked, blinking as she turned to her friend.
Sharon gave her a pointed look. “You need to go help them, Y/N. The last time Bucky, Sam, Walker, and Lemar faced the Flag Smashers on their own it didn't go well. There are more of them now - they’ll be outnumbered,” she rationalized.
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “Why can’t you?” She asked.
Sharon shook her head and stifled a chuckle. “People saw me with Bucky and Sam — you know I can’t go out right now . . . C’mon, you won’t need to talk to Bucky, just punch people!” She pointed out.
Y/N bit her lip, eyes darting around to find another excuse. However, Sharon’s logic overpowered her. “Fine,” she gave in.
As she speedily made her way to the fight, she couldn’t help her mind from centering on Bucky. Memories filled her head of their time in Wakanda and she wondered how he was doing now. Did he ever think of her like she thought of him? Did he ever miss her? Want to see her?
The former S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent sighed, her thoughts stopped when the sound of yelling and people fighting overwhelmed her ears. She spun around, following the sound, and soon found herself caught in the middle of the fight.
Bucky and Sam were each taking on two members of the Flag Smashers on their own while Walker was struggling to hold his own against one of them, making Y/N roll her eyes. As another Flag Smasher was going for Bucky, Y/N intercepted, slamming him into the wall.
Engaged in the fight, she missed the brief, surprised yet proud smirk that crossed across Bucky’s face when he realized she was there. He began to fight back even harder, almost as if her presence was motivating him, which Sam noticed and grinned smugly at the fact.
Just as Y/N had knocked the Flag Smasher out, she looked over only to see a figure flying at her. Not knowing what to do and not knowing who this figure was, she froze, and was only saved when a certain metal hand crawled around her arm and yanked her out of the way.
Y/N could only watch as Lemar smashed into the column she had been standing in front of only seconds before. She was in such disbelief that she didn’t register that Bucky had wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her.
Standing there up close, Y/N and Bucky could easily see that Lemar is dead. She was taking short breaths, panic setting in. She had witnessed people die on S.H.I.E.L.D. missions but it had been a while, and she felt herself getting dizzy, almost nauseous, only coming back to earth and the spinning feeling stopping when Bucky tugged at her.
“We need to go,” he whispered urgently in her ear after exchanging a look with Sam, all three of them watching as Walker shook as he bent down beside his friend and checked his pulse.
It took Y/N a moment to realize that the Flag Smashers had all disappeared, and she focused on Walker, trying to think logically despite the chaos around them. “You go. I’ll try to talk him down - he already doesn’t like you two,” she whispered back, trying to be quiet.
Bucky frowned, not liking his answer, but Sam was giving him a look and Y/N was slowly pushing him away, making him remember that she’d be fine with Walker, she was highly skilled. He quickly told her where to meet them before running off with Sam, in search of the remaining Flag Smashers.
“Captain America,” Y/N said, her voice hoarse, having to force the words out with all her will because calling him that felt so wrong. “I am so sorry for your loss.”
Walker didn’t say anything. After a couple of pounding moments of silence, he gave her a harsh glare, probably the worst she had ever received, for just a split second. His frown was deep, eyes gleaming with big and angry tears, cheeks red, sweat covering his forehead, hot breath escaping from his lips. Y/N was almost captivated it, not expecting this reaction, which is why she didn’t react at first when he suddenly darted up and ran, not expecting him to do that either.
As soon as she connected the dots and figured out that he just be out for his revenge, Y/N scrambled to her feet and followed him. Realizing how far he had gotten already, Y/N could only jump to one conclusion that sent chills down her spine: he somehow had the super soldier serum in him, for she had only seen Steve and Bucky run like that.
Reaching the outside, Y/N was floored to see Walker standing over someone who was not Karli, kicking him forcefully. As he began to raise the shield, Y/N knew she wouldn’t reach him in time, and could only think to do one thing, yell . . . “STOP IT! NOW! HE DIDN’T DO IT!”
Walker paused briefly and then turned around, his glare intensifying 10x if that was possible. “You have a point. Maybe you should be my target? After-all, if you hadn’t moved out of the way, maybe he would be alive! Did you think about that?” He spat bitterly.
Those words latched themselves onto Y/N, horrifying her as they sunk in. Was that true? Could she have stopped him from being killed if she hadn’t moved? What was innocent as a thought crashed down on her, it’s weight distracting her from Walker, and the next second she knew, a large force was hurtling at her, but Bucky wasn’t there this time to save her, and she felt intense pain coursing through her body as that force hit her, throwing her into the air.
Unable to find the Flag Smashers, Bucky and Sam decided to circle back to find Y/N and Walker, only to be stopped by a large gathering group of people. They pushed through them, confused, but stopped in their tracks when they saw Walker standing over someone who was unconscious on the ground. He began to bring the shield over his head once more (although neither of the two men knew that), which was what spurred Bucky into action. He ran, jumping onto Walker’s back, grabbing the shield and slamming it into the ground. Walker tried to twist Bucky off of him by throwing him back, but Bucky used that to his advantage when they hit the ground, pushing Walker off of him and kicking him into unconsciousness.
Bucky was sitting up, looking at Walker, when he heard his friend scream his name, and looked over to see Sam by the Walker’s victim. Furrowing his eyebrows and getting closer, Bucky at first thought Sam was in a frenzy because Walker had killed them, but soon found that it was something else entirely.
The victim was Y/N.
Bucky could’ve sworn his heart had skipped a beat. When he first saw Y/N, he didn't know what to think or how to feel. Y/N had been on and off his mind for a while now, him not being able to shake her, and even though he had no clue if she still loved him like he loved her, he knew he didn’t want to stop thinking about her. Despite suffering the painful thoughts of wondering if Y/N was safe or if she was okay, he had also been comforted by the sweet memories he held. Seeing her now, unconscious, ignited a deep fear inside him that was bubbling up quickly, sending urgent signals to his brain before the fear erupted,
He went on autopilot, feet carrying him over to Sam and Y/N. He knelt beside his friend, assessing the situation, knowing he’d have to push down the fear and the distress he was facing internally to best help the woman. She had a nasty gash on her the side of her head, blood staining her forehead and cheeks, and Bucky could spot various cuts and bruises starting to form, with blood seeping through her shirt. He carefully pulled her shirt up only to see a big gash covering her stomach, bruises starting, which would most definitely scar.
The only thing keeping his boiling anger from going to beat the crap out of Walker was the fact that Y/N needed medical assistance and that he could hear the sounds of cameras clicking, just knowing photos and video of what happened would be circling the internet, if it wasn’t already. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him before getting to his feet with such care you’d think Y/N was glass. Sam stood beside him, eyes flickering from Bucky to Y/N, thoroughly worried.
“C’mon,” he grumbled, trying to make sure Y/N was comfortable and trying to keep her away from the cameras. “We gotta take her to the hospital.”
Not exchanging any words, Sam covered Bucky while he carried her to their car just to make sure that pictures were taken of them. Sam drove while Bucky sat with Y/N in the back with the first aid kit, doing his best to patch her up. Tears were brewing in his eyes, feeling nauseous when the situation and his absolute need for her to be okay had started to sink in.
He forced himself to look over at Sam, only to see the Falcon tightly gripping the steer wheeling, almost speeding through the streets of Madripoor. It was then that Bucky realized that he was on the phone with Sharon, who he could hear was giving him directions to the hospital. He was giving her short replies, staring straight ahead, and Bucky refocused himself on Y/N. He never unwrapped his arms around her, scared that something would happen if he did, and he nervously thumped his metal fingers against his leg.
As they neared the hospital, Bucky got Y/N into his arms in bridal position to carry her and Sam hung up the phone. “I can’t believe that bastard did this,” he muttered under his breath and Bucky could practically hear the fury in his tone. They both exited the car with Y/N and rushed into the hospital, both yelling out for help and to explain the situation. Doctors ran out and directed Bucky to lay her in the bed of one of the rooms, and promptly pushed both him and Sam outside, where they were left in the waiting room.
Not long after, Sharon arrived, and joined the boys. She was a bit more calm, though on the inside was wracked with worry and anger at Walker, and she sat beside Sam, who was practically shaking with rage. Sam had his head in his hands and Sharon did her best to comfort both him and herself, sparing a glance at Bucky who just had his arms crossed, a frown on his face, and was pacing back-and-forth endlessly.
When the doctor finally emerged, the three stood up, and questions - similar to an interrogation style - spilled out of Bucky’s mouth. “Is she okay? Will she be okay? Is she awake? When will she be better?”
The doctor firmly and patiently answered with, “We stabilized her. She will be allowed to leave hopefully within the next couple days but will need to rest for awhile.” She continued to tell the trio Y/N’s injuries before leading them to her room, where she informed them that only one was allowed at a time for visiting. There was no conversation - everyone knew it would be Bucky.
When the Winter Soldier stepped inside, he let out a massive breath he had bottled up when he saw Y/N awake, bandages covering her body. “Hi,” he greeted, love in his eyes as he pulled a chair close to her bed and sat down.
Y/N leaned against the pillow, tiredly smiling at him. “I missed you,” she said. She didn’t talk about what happened, nor about Walker, she talked about them, and that made Bucky feel special, a warmth spreading inside him.
“I missed you, too. You terrified me today, doll,” he replied, giving her a smile to signal that he wasn’t mad, the nickname slipping out as if they had never been apart.
Y/N didn’t say anything for a couple moments, closing her eyes and gathering her thoughts. Bucky thought she had fallen asleep and his smile got wider, glad she was getting some rest, but apparently that was not the case.
“I’m so sorry I left,” she said, voice cracking.
Bucky sat up, a grave expression washing over him and, relying on instinct, he reached out and held her hand, careful not to jostle her. “Oh, hon, don't apologize for that, ever, okay? You did what you needed to do, and now we have eternity,” he said, but then realized . . . did she want to be with him again?
Y/N let out a chuckle, but that was through tears and Bucky reached over to wipe them. “Buck . . . I love you. I’ve loved you ever since Wakanda but . . the doctors told me I need rest and you’re gonna need to continue on your mission with Sam and-” She began to say.
Bucky, not thinking he’d be able to bear what she was going to say, interrupted her. “Y/N, please. We’re gonna be-”
Y/N squeezing his hand silenced him and, after a couple of tough moments, them both crying, Bucky slumped his shoulders, knowing that she was right and hating it with a deep passion.
“We’re gonna find each other again, okay? We did it just now so the universe obmiouly wants us to, and we just have got to persevere. It’ll be worth the wait in the end,” Y/N promised, sniffing and keeping her fingers crawled around his.
Bucky picked his head up, nodding with determination and wiping his tears, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered.
Y/N smiled, the tiredness of the day beginning to set in. “I love you, too,” she responded, sealing that promise with those three precious words.
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backstory: you and bucky are both being t0rtured by hydra and you talk to eachother through thr walls and fall in love.
im obsessing over this gif so imma put it on a loop while i wait for tfatws ep 5.
you were being tested and tormented on a daily bases, the only thing between you and human contact was a wall. You had no clue what he looked like but you loved him anyways.
"why are they doing this to us..." you asked with your legs curled to your chest to try and keep warm.
"i dont know", he replied. "mabye were lab rats to them..." he chuckled slightly.
"but im gonna get us out of here soon", he whispered as if they were listening to our every word.
"whats your name", you ask. You were numbers to hydra, nothing about you mattered, aslong as when they say the words your ready to comply.
"james, but call me Bucky", he only told people to call him Bucky if he trusted them."what about you".
"im y/n", you smile. "its a nice name", he replied.
You hear his door open and the words, "longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, frieght car".
you blink back the tears as bucky answers, "gotov podchinit'sya", (ready to comply).
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