#mcu x reader
Loki’s Game: 1
You are working at the Avenger compound as a ICT and security specialist. Everyone thinks you are doing a good job, but you procrastinate a lot. You lie effortlessly, or so you think. When no-one other than the God of Lies and Mischief, Loki joins the team. He quickly discovers that you are lying and decides to take advantage of that.
No smut in this chapter, but definitely in the upcoming chapters. Overall story warning: dubious consenst, BDSM, forced orgasms, overstimulation, manipulation, angst
A multiple fic which I started on AO3 and Wattpad. Thougth maybe some of you will like it as well. Next chapters will be sunday.
The alarm of your mobile started to ring. The screen showed it was 08.10 a.m. That leaves 20 minutes to get dressed and go downstairs. Almost finished you thought while typing on your laptop. You typed like your life depended on it. With your work finally finished you put on the clothes you had laid out and quickly brushed your teeth. Why do I always do this to myself? You had a month to make a new security plan, but you started a week before the deadline. The plan wasn’t bad, but it could be more detailed. Now you had to go to Tony and Steve, explaining your not-so-detailed-plan. On top of that, you were tired. You had set an alarm in the middle of the night, just so you had something to show this morning.
How, you did not know, but you made it through your presentation. Steve was supportive. Tony and he decided you could have more time to work out the details. Luckily, the presentation was recorded. When they started to ask questions, you made up answers on the spot. You now had to implement those answers for your next deadline. So, they didn’t figure out that you lied to them. They gave you two weeks. This time, I am going to start on time! Sitting at your desk you were distracted, checking social media, and watching YouTube. Suddenly you got a call from Tony, asking you to come to the living room.
Walking inside you saw that Natasha, Clint, Steve, and Tony were all there. “How is your plan coming together?” Tony asked you. “Fine, it may even be finished before the deadline” you lied. Great, after this you have to get to work. The door opened and Thor walked in. Besides him walked another men you recognized immediately, Loki. “I still think this is a bad idea” Clint said. “I know, but we need him. Thor has vouched for him” Steve commented. Thor had a tense look, Loki was just smirking and looking around. Nobody made eye-contact with him. Tony clapped his hands together “Well.. ehm.. welcome, I guess. I will give you a tour, this is Sophie by the way. She will give you security clearance and tell you how to work with Jarvis.” You raised your eyebrow at Tony “What is happening here?”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you. There was some suspicious activity, Loki is here to help. Or so he says. I wanted to tell you, but you were so busy with the new security plan, I didn’t want to disturb you” he said. “Oh, yeah. Super busy, lot of late nights. No problem” you lied. Lots of late nights watching Netflix that was.. you thought. You saw Loki staring at you. “He will be in the room across yours.” he then turned to Loki “Try not to disturb her, she’s one of my best employees and very busy.” You felt yourself blush at the compliment. Loki’s eyes were still fixed on you. You started to feel bad for Tony, he really thought you had been working hard. You were mentally scolding yourself for being so lazy. I will fix it in the next two weeks.
“Plan is almost finished then?” Natasha asked you. You nodded, not wanting to go into much detail of your not-so-detailed-plan. “Great, I need your help next week, think you’ve got the time?” she asked you. Shit, no.. but well, if I work a few all-nighters I have. Who needs sleep anyway? “Yeah of course, I was just telling that the plan will probably be finished before the deadline” you said. “You sure about that?” Loki said in a dry voice. Everyone just stared at him, nobody had expected him to join the conversation. “Back off, Reindeer Games. She knows what she’s doing” Tony said. Loki’s eyes narrowed at you and you looked away to the ground. Thor seemed to notice his brother staring at you “I will join the tour, shall we go now?” he said to Loki and Tony. With that the three of them left. The rest of the team was still discussing how they were feeling about Loki’s presence.
“Where’s Bruce?” Steve asked. “After his last encounter with Loki, he thought it was best to stay in the lab” Natasha told him. Steve smiled at you “I will check on him. Thor or Tony will bring Loki for the security clearance after the tour, call me if you don’t want to be alone with him.” You watched him leave and then left yourself. You sat back down at your desk and started to work on your secret planning. First you listed everything you needed to get done to finish the security plan. Then you made an overview of your time the next two weeks. I should have told Natasha I didn’t have time. With this planning that meant at least two nights you had to work through. You had to plan them accordingly, so nobody would notice how exhausted you were. Luckily, there were two days most of the team would be away. I hate myself for not starting on time. After your planning, your eye caught the Netflix logo on one of your tabs and you decided that you could watch one episode, before starting your long workday.
You were halfway through the episode. “Busy?” a low voice asked you from behind. You jumped from your chair and quickly closed your laptop. Turning around you saw Loki leaning against the wall in the doorway. His posture was casual and relaxed, but you couldn’t help starting to feel like you were in trouble. He walked towards you and you forgot how to breath. He took a seat in the chair across from yours and put his feet on your desk. He was leaning back slightly. His eyes never left yours. His eyes were a beautiful emerald colour, but the gaze they had made you feel like a deer in headlights. Suddenly, you were very aware that if he decided to kill you, he could with a snap of his finger. “Lost your tongue?” he asked. That’s when you realized that you hadn’t answered his question. “No, I’m not busy. You just startled me, that’s all” you said. Your voice sounded a little higher than you had hoped. You took a deep breath and sat back down in your seat.
Loki smirked at you “But I thought you were extremely busy?”. His voice sounded too innocent for the look he was giving you. “W- well.. I- I am. But I- eh.. I meant.. just knock next time you come here.” you stammered. “That didn’t sound convincing at all” he said. You saw a small glint in his eyes, which appeared immediately. “Thor said I should come here for security clearance, so I could walk freely around the building.” “Yeah right, ehm.. a moment please” you said. You started to type on your computer, entering Loki’s clearance. Feeling more nervous every second that passed. Loki was still staring at you. God, I wished he just looked at something else. You started to type faster and began your explanation of Jarvis to him. He cut you off after one sentence and rolled his eyes. “My brother might not know much about your primitive technology, but I do. No need to explain it, little one” You blushed at the nickname. “S- so eh.. you have now clearance and can walk around freely. If there’s nothing else I can do for you..” you didn’t finish the sentence and motioned at the door.
Loki stood up from his chair. Thank god you thought. However, he didn’t walk towards the door. He walked around your desk and stood right behind you. You felt goosebumps starting to form. “W- what are you doing?” you asked him. Your voice trembled. He put one hand on your shoulders and leaned down. His touch froze your whole body. You felt his breath tickle your earlobe. Fuck, he’s hot. Your breath hitched, you were surprised by your own thought. Where did that come from? You heard Loki chuckle in your ear and the first instinct you had was to jump up from your chair. He didn’t let you and held you firm in place with his hand on your shoulder. He is so much stronger than me. You started to panic, not knowing what to do. You sat as still as possible and stared at your screen. The screen was showing your episode on Netflix. “You are not going to finish” he whispered in your ear. “I wonder what Stark thinks of his model employee, wasting her time, his time, everyone’s time. I was surprised they didn’t notice your lies” he put his other hand also on your other shoulder.
You started to breath faster, unable to make up your mind. Running was not an option, and you were unable to speak a word, let alone form a sentence and tell him to fuck off. The sudden image of Loki bending you over your desk and taking you from behind crossed your mind. What the hell? No, not with him. You kept it a secret that you were extremely attracted to dominant men. You were ashamed of it. It felt demeaning to have a man control you like that. Usually, you had strong will-power and were opinionated. In bed with your former partners, you always were on top or in control. “You know, the soldier told me about your new security plan, he was very impressed with your presentation this morning. Did he know you made everything up on the spot?” You didn’t know how he knew that. You lowered your head, staring at the ground. “No” you whispered. Loki stroked his thumb across your collar bone. You took a deep breath, unable to decide if you were fearful of him or turned on by his touch.
You suddenly felt his tongue against your earlobe, flicking it. He started to kiss softly against the top of your neck. Trailing downwards towards your collar bone. His other hand travelled down to your breast. You forgot how to breath again and felt yourself heat up. I should do something. Get away, tell him to stop. But you didn’t move a muscle or say a word. He was massaging your breast and you felt your upper body lean into his touch. Damn.. you thought. This felt so wrong but also so right. “I think I am going to like my stay here” he hummed against your collar bone. The vibration on your skin sends a shot of arousal to your core. He suddenly grabbed your throat and squeezed it to cut off your breathing. “From now on you do as I tell you. One wrong move and I will expose you to Stark, you got that?” He loosened his grip somewhat, but not enough for you to get air. You started to nod as fast as you could. He laughed “If you try to scream or tell anyone about this you will pay.” He then let go of your throat. “Now, be a good girl and get back to work” he whispered in your ear. You were breathing heavily, trying to process everything that just happened. When you looked behind you, you saw that Loki was already gone.
When you caught your breath, you contemplate your options. If you told someone about it, you surely would be fired. Maybe I can tell Steve? He always has my back. But you also lied to Steve a lot, and he was so impressed by your work. Nope, not an option. Maybe quitting? There was no way you would ever find a job you loved so much and paid so well. Plus, you have gotten quite close with most of the members on the team. I could tell Natasha. She might know a way out. But she would surely ask why you hadn’t castrated Loki, or at least tried, when he started to touch you. You couldn’t admit to her that a part, buried deep within you, liked to be treated that way. I could finish my work, and if Loki tries anything again then tell them. They would believe you over the God of Lies after all. And with your work done, Loki couldn’t show any proof of his accusations. The only other thing you needed to do was to avoid him as much as possible. After this encounter, you didn’t want to know what he would want you to do. Maybe a little… you thought. He is tall, and you could feel his abs through his leather jacket. If you didn’t know anything about him and met him in a club, you definitely would have let him take you home.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. You snapped your head to see who it was. Thor was standing there. “Are you okay?” he asked. You froze, thinking he had witnessed the whole thing. “I’m fine” you said, hoping he would believe the lie. “Good, Loki likes to scare and play with people. So, I thought I check up on you” he gave you a genuine smile. “Also… I wondered if maybe you would want to have dinner with us tonight?”. You looked at him with a questioning look on your face. “Sorry?” you asked him. Thor started to let his hand go through his hair. His posture changed a bit, he looked more nervous. “Well, bringing Loki here was necessary. But I’m worried about how he will fit in and he needs to. Plus, he will be here a long time. So, I was hoping you would help me with him and maybe get to know him a bit? If he knows someone, he usually lights up.” he gave you a pleading look. “You two actually are very similar in some ways.” he said quickly. “N- not that I mean.. I didn’t mean..” he stammered. “I didn’t mean it as an insult, I just think you two could be friends, that’s all” he sighed. I really don’t have time to spend a whole evening trying to befriend the guy that just made my life hell. I really need to work. You looked at Thor, who was putting on his best puppy eyes. You sighed “Fine, but I have to finish some things for work. So, I cannot make it too late.” Thor grinned widely at you. He walked towards you and engulfed you in a big hug. “Mortal over here, Thor” you said while he was squeezing the tiny amount of air you had in your lungs out. “Thank you Lady Sophie!” he boomed. “Just come to his room around six o’clock, I will take care of dinner.”
Thor left your office. Great, tonight is going to be so much fun you thought sarcastically. You turned towards your laptop and opened your document, finally getting to work on your security plan.
Me wanting to start writing character X reader fics but not knowing how the fuck to start. 🤭🤭🤭
How the fuck do I create master lists or request lists or even finish stuff to write.
When I tell y’all that you’re talented I MEAN it cos this shit is stressful and you are all so amazing and even if we’re not moots imma hype you tf up cos it takes talent to be able to write this stuff and I- 🥺 I’m proud of you all.
YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU👏🥺
(Also how the hell do I know what to tag?! HELP)
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💕 reader turns into a baby and obsessed with Bucky. Awww 🥺
bucky barnes x reader / masterlist
warnings; fluff, morgan definitely being tony’s kid, biting, swearing, spoilers for IW and Endgame, mention of the blip, childish behaviour from adults, terrible humour (I really am sorry), spoiler for WV, mention of age gap, kinda a crossover, an absolute mess 😂
“Morgan?” Bucky frowned, as the girl tried to speed past him. It was not wise for anyone to allow the mischievous child run around the compound alone, she always got up to nothing but trouble, and there was such a glazing in her brown eyes.
She didn’t spare him a glance, instead, she bolted, causing the super soldier to sigh. He would have went after her if there weren’t already footsteps recurring from the path that she had just came from; it was his father. It so happened that there was a bundle of joy in his arms, crying like the sudden crack of dawn.
“What were you going to do, wait another five years to tell everyone about this one, Stark?” Bucky asked with a chuckle, though the cries from the infant muted at the sound of his voice. The child wiggled in Tony’s grasp, trying her utmost to reach out for the vibranium armed hero.
“She’s not my daughter, if she was, I think me and you would be having conversations.” Tony’s words spurred a frown to combust out onto Barnes’ face, and the billionaire sighed, shifting the baby so that the baby was in Bucky’s arms.
The child cooed up at him, her eyes were a baby blue, sure to avert possibly into a different colour once she grew elder. “Look, I didn’t ask if I could hold her, she’s cute, but why do you-“
“Morgan did it.” Tony willingly blamed his own daughter. With her various experimentations, she was definitely taking after him. He’d be sure to keep this one quiet from Pepper, otherwise he was almost certain that he’d be banned from bringing Morgan on expeditions to the compound.
“I though y/n was supposed to be watching her.” Stated the enhanced soldier, cocking his head at the information that he recalled. He promptly remembered you abandoning him half way through training the newbie recruits, because Happy was dropping Morgan off, and you had offered watch over her, despite the associate being there.
“She was, and now you’re going to have to watch over her.” Tony pointed specifically to the child in his arms, and that was when realisation hit Bucky. He gulped, breathing through his nose to calm himself, as all the pieces clicked perfectly together.
This was not just a child - it was you. As he gazed down at you, he could finally see the pouted expression that would fixate upon your face when you paid attention to him when you were drunk, there was a glazing over your eyes as you raised your small and innocent hands, scraping down the stubble of his chin, as you curled further into his arms.
“I am going to kill you.” He steadily spoke, huffing as Sam went to walk past, but stopped himself when he saw the bundle of joy that was content in the brooding soldier’s arms.
“What the hell! Did you and y/n have a baby or something without telling anyone?” Oh, how he wished those were the circumstances, and if the pair of you were to ever have a child together, then he would be impartial to the idea of doing so.
"This is not my child, it's y/n, thanks to Stark over there." He bounced you in his arms, he even felt a small dribble of spit seep through his shirt, but he didn't mind, not as his icy glare was intently prized upon the philanthropist.
"Hey, it was my daughter's fault, not mine!" Tony excused himself from the blame, holding his palm against his chest, as he received as such. Sam ogled at him for a second, before returning his attention back into Bucky, and little you.
He came forwards, reaching his hand towards you, keening as you went to grasp his. As you did so, a smile broke out upon the man’s face, until it contorted into a sharp frown, the noise of a yelp escaping from his lips. “That little bitch bit me.”
“Language.” Steve rounded the corner, his golden brows raising when he saw the infant contently resting in his best friend’s arms. “Did you and y/n have a baby without telling us?”
“That’s what I said!” Sam beckoned to the blonde, as he averted a strong gaze to you and your normal sized partner. "Until she bit me, it reminds me of that time that I tried to steal her fries."
"I don't see why your complaining." Bucky rolled his eyes, bracing you up straighter so that your forehead was pressed lightly against his shoulder. "I'm the one whose partner is an actual child."
"Yeah, tell me about it." Sam rolled his eyes in reference to how you were beforehand, before Steve cut in, directing his leading tone towards the men that were stood idly by.
"What actually happened?" Tony found his enquiry to be an opportunity to avert the fault from himself; how lucky indeed was it that Steve asked such a thing.
"Technically it's your fault capsicle. Morgan found your prototype of your unsuccessful time machine. As you can see, she turned into a baby, much like Lang. And if you want to push the blame off of yourself, blame these two for their asses disappearing."
"Hey, if I wanted to disappear, I wouldn't have made such a dramatic exit. I'd have just left for my sister's." Crossing his arms, Sam shook his head at the man that was not wearing his iron suit. He was unable to take any responsibility, unless it was for his genius brain wave of creating the true transportation for the time heist.
"Well I'm going to keep that noted for any future repercussions." Oh, how Wilson regretting mentioning that now.
"You left it out, within your daughter's reach." Bucky quirked his brow, as he prepared to head towards the storage of the private laboratory that was shared between the two science bros.
"Technically, that was the big green guy." Bucky vouched not to listen to Stark, instead, he continued to walk, leaving the three other men in his rear view, though for the most part, he could still hear them bickering.
"Maybe we should turn you into a baby, I doubt much would change."
"Maybe we should turn you into a baby, I doubt much would change." Tony mimicked Steve, thus only proving his point. He was certainly a man that enjoyed pressing people's buttons, it was a shining attribute of the once playboy, and god, did it annoy the hell out of Barnes.
As he entered the laboratory, he found the lab to be in a state of havoc. "Hey, it wasn't me this time." Scott laughed, as he used an extinguisher against the frayed machine, that was blubbering sparks from its ruined exterior.
"Smash!" A small green child, wearing glasses that were far too big for him, ran across the room, followed shortly by a child with long blonde hair wrapped up in a red cape, as though it were some kind of makeshift diaper.
"Explain." Bucky bluntly stated, clenching his jaw, as he cooed lightly at your cries that pierced the air. He bounced you in his arms, not quite certain of what he was supposed to do.
In his time, there wasn't exactly an education system to teach the men going to war how to parent, or even care for a child. A part of him panicked; it was you, he hated seeing you cry in general, but now he couldn't attempt to find out the cause for your falling tears.
"Aw is that y/n?" The man half dressed in his ant man suit asked, a bright smile on his face, as he reached out to hold you. To say Bucky was hesitant to pass you to him was an understatement. "I have a daughter, I've looked after a baby before."
"From jail?" The white wolf asked, as he heard a crash exhibit from the connecting room, obviously being the fault of the two most destructive avengers, or at least, their little versions. Being aged down was definitely certification for trouble, everyone knew that.
"Okay I wasn't in there for that long." Scott reassured him, he picked up a bottle of milk from the table, handing it to the metal armed man, whom had never fed a child before. He found himself, cautiously, keeping a watchful eye, passing you over to the former criminal, intently watching every movement that the man made.
Lange simply fed you. "Always thought you and y/n would have a cute baby, imagine its- oh yeah, well after all that stuff that happened with vision and SWORD, we thought it best to destroy any technology that was recovered from the old base. This part survived, and well, I went into its- okay, you don't want to hear the science, but basically Thor insisted he could break it with his hammer, albeit whilst I was inside of it, and it sent energy around the room that turned them into pubescent children."
"I can see that it did nothing to you. And I thought Morgan did it.”
"I was so relieved, lucky I- wait, was that an insult?" Bucky remained primitively silent, and that answered Scott's question. The hero sighed, as you finished nursing, and your arms reached for Bucky, to whom he passed you to. “And I lied...”
He literally blamed a five year old for the screw up of grown men. Tony was going to thrive off this information, whence he knew that his daughter was in fact not the culprit.
"What do we do now?" He was eager to find a cure for this betrothed science. Those whom were responsible for your decrease in age, well, one was running around the compound, and the other, well, he was even younger than Morgan currently.
"You could wait twenty years, I mean you two already have quite a big age gap, and please don't kill me. I'm not sure that Cap would approve, I am a vital source to the team!"
"I'm not going to kill you tic tac. Or at least not at least until we fix these three."
"Phew." Scott wiped his brow, blowing air from his mouth. "Wait thre- oh yeah, the little guy carrying the hammer that is bigger than himself, and the
"Okay, we need someone smarter." Bucky sighed heavily, as he hugged you in thought. "You tried hitting it again with the hammer?"
"Oh my god, I could be worthy!" Gasped Scott, running off to the next room, only to come back limping, a pained expression on his face. "Little Asguardian bastard hit me!"
Bucky contained his smirk, and instead passed you to Lang, venturing into the other part of the lab, finding that Bruce was asleep, a blob of snot hanging from his nose, he could see the hammer in the middle of the room, almost as though it were waiting for him to attempt grabbing the handle, and Thor was-
The minuscule god jumped from one of the shelves, wrapping his arms around the front of Bucky’s neck, as he put all his weight on the super soldier’s back. In all practicality, Thor was strangling him, and Bucky tapped his arm, trying to convince him to let go.
“I know who Noobmaster69 is.” Thor quirked his head, lessening his hold, as he promptly awaited his now older friend to continue. “It’s, its- his name is Wade Wilson.”
“Wilson!” No, gosh no. Bucky stood completely, making sure to keep Thor in the vicinity, he needed him to be so so that he could reverse the affects on the son of Odin.
“Not Sam. Wade.” He had never met the man before, but god did he seem like a dick. When the pair of you were getting a taxi, the driver Dopinder just could not shut up about his friend, who liked to wear red, and had a kink for unicorns.
Wade certainly sounded like a weird one, but right now, his pass time was getting Thor to pick up that hammer. “Where can I find this Wade?” It practically left his mouth as a hiss, if the imagery and proven death supposed otherwise, he’d possibly think it was Loki instead.
“I will tell you, if you pick up that hammer, and hit it against that old machine. Got it buddy?”
“It’s name is Stormbreaker!” Bellowed the norseman, who tried to slide off his back, but Bucky kept a hold of his legs, refraining him from going anywhere. “Get peter to do it, I don’t want to play that game anymore!”
“Uuh, hi Mr Barnes...” That voice, oh he knew it, and the majority of the time it irritated him, he was Tony's little pet. “And, baby avengers?”
“Don’t ask kid.” Peter nodded, as he went to reach for a spanner. “Can you pick the hammer up, are you worthy?”
“Am I worthy?” He wondered aloud, his eyes fixated on the hammer, as he stepped towards it, holding his hand out, and clasping his palm around the handle, it feeling weightless in his grip, as he picked it up without effort. “Oh my god (it’s Robert Downey Junior)!”
“Great, now take it out there, I’ll deal with these two. And don’t do anything yet.” He was certainly feeling like a sergeant, throwing all the orders to the others, Peter complied, carrying the hammer as though it were an empty duffel.
“Can I try?” Instantly, after Peter passing it to him, Scott had such hope, until the force of gravity hit, and it fell on his foot, causing a light scream to ripple through his throat. “Get it off, get it off!”
Peter did so, as Bucky kept Thor on his shoulders, and grabbed a hold of Bruce’s chubby little ankle, dragging him into the other room. “Shit he’s heavy.” He saw that you were sat in the grand spinny chair, making Bucky relived that you weren’t in Lang’s arms as he attempted to have a moment of worthiness.
“What’d you do, go all Winter soldier on his ass and knock him out?!” Half screamed the prodigy of Hank Pym.
“Of course not, I think Thor did it.”
“Oh yeah, blame the kid because I did the same.”
“Put your suit from Stark on kid, unless you want to become a fetus.” Bucky ignored Scott for the moment,
“I got Hope to send her outfit, it will stretch to accommodate you, but I also think it would hug your shape nicely.”
“That was fast.” Muttered Peter, and Bucky shook his head, eyeing the outfit with weird eyes.
“I’m crazy, but not crazy enough to wear that.” Sighing, he grasped it in his hands, walking to the other room to squeeze into it. He noticed you watching, and thus he turned the chair around so that you couldn’t see anything. Little did he realise until he came out, that you had spun it around again, and was giggling. “Don’t laugh at me, or you won’t be allowed to see it when you’re returned to normal.”
A pout settled on your small lips, and it appeared as though you were getting ready to cry again, but before you could do so, a distraction intervened. An uninvited, and confusing one.
“Stop. Can I just say, that is some cruel declaration for the both of you, you’re my fave ship, after me and Hugh Jackman of course, but he doesn’t even know that this version of me exists.” A newfound imposter called out, his arms raised in the air. Leather gloves crinkled as he twitched his fingers, his white eyes freaking Scott the fuck out. “May I join you on this journey? I read about you guys in comics. And can I just say, I want to see these hunks and that hottie all grown up.”
“You want to see me go Winter Soldier on someone Lang?” Bucky gritted his teeth, prepared to murder this man for ever posing such words about you into the open air. Him speaking obviously drew some attention to him though, but it was not his rage that was mentioned, instead, it was his attire- or well, Hope’s.
“Nice suit Buck Buck. Can you do a twirl for me, I wanna see if it competes with America’s ass. Damn, does that man have some buns on him.”
“I know right!” Scott eagerly agreed, earning a smack in the nuts, to which had made him close to crumbling.“You had to use the metal hand, didn’t you.” Whimpered the Ant to the false Wasp, clamping his hands over his goods as he half hunched over. “I thought you often forgot to use it coz your right handed.”
“You’re on my left.” Gross, he sounded like Sam.
“Who the hell are you?” Thor spoke, and it felt familiar on his tongue. It was as though he had asked an enemy the same thing before...
“I, am Noobmaster69.”
“Hi, I’m Peter. Oh, we’re using our made up names, I thought Sam said it was that guy from that tech place.” Peter scratched his head through the mask, providing a small verbal distraction, as Thor willingly set himself free, launching at the intruder, whilst snatching the hammer from a suited up Peter.
“Aaasrrrghh.” He screamed like a true deity of the vikings.
“Thor, no!” Lang screamed, knowing that he’d have to come up with another excuse. The cameras had been fused whence Thor had first struck the hammer in the room, and it abused the guy in the red suit as he went for his legs, attacking the friend of Dopinder.
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Teach Me (Zemo x F!Reader)
Gif courtesy of @gaelgarcia
A/N: Here is the full version! If there is enough interest, I will write a second part with the smut portion of the request. Let me know if that’s something you would all be interested in! Also Sword!Zemo and Sweatpants!Zemo are my new obsessions.
Would you be interested in writing a Zemo x f reader where he trains her how to fight. She knows her away around weapons, but has gotten a bit rusty over the years. Considering it's a close proximity fight, sexual tension is quite high and it escalates when she beats him in a spar at last (she actually loses herself a bit in the frenzy of the fight). She can be on Sam and Bucky's team, so Zemo offered to help while they are in one of his safe houses maybe? If it fits into the story, could it have smut with feelings in the end?
I hope this gives you some inspiration, but if not that's quite all right 🙂.
Summary: Tensions between you and Helmut Zemo had always been high. Through his observations, he begins to get a sense of the source of your frustrations. A sparring match does just the trick to break down your walls.
Word Count: 2.5K Warnings: Enemies to Lovers
Tagged Users: @fandom--0verdose
Baron Helmut Zemo would not have gotten to where he is today if not for his keen sense of observation. It’s how he was able to lead EKO Scorpion to defend their country against international forces, slowing its inevitable demise. It’s how he was able to parse the subtle tensions within the Avengers, turning its two strongest leaders into vicious enemies.
Because of that, figuring you out has been a formidable challenge that he would not forfeit.
He had never seen you before, on the news, the exhibits, even the HYDRA files. Sam merely introduced you as “a friend”. “You’ll want to stay on her good side,” he had warned the baron.
Your contempt for him was evident from the start. You regarded him with an unsmiling, cold expression, if you were even to regard him at all. The intensity of your glare unnerved him; moreso than James’s aggressive outbursts. What had his crimes meant to you that you were more hateful towards him than the man he had coerced into truly violent acts? It was a mystery to him.
But then, Helmut Zemo decided to do what he does best: Observe.
He had just finished his bath and had decided to fix some tea, as he was often wont to do. You are sitting on the couch, reading your book. He knows better by now than to disturb you with conversation. But out of the corner of his eye, he feels you, watching him. He is still clad in his bathrobe, hair damp from the steam. He continues going about the kitchen, tuning his trained senses into your behavior.
He notices something... peculiar.
Your surveillance is not the typical, penetrating gaze you often shot at him for his frivolous attitude. You would look for a second, then turn to your book, then back to him. Secretive.
He notices your elevated respirations from the subtle rising and falling of your chest. Were you afraid of him, he wonders? No, that can’t be. He then busies himself with a task he knew would give the appearance of his ignorance to your presence, to draw out your vulnerability. You take the bait, staring at him long and hard. He notices the faintest change in the color of your cheeks. And, so subtly it’s nearly imperceptible, you bite your lip from behind your book.
He had been too indulgent with his watching. You make eye contact from across the room. Then, your expression reverts to your default icy glare.
You stand, walking towards him. “This isn’t a vacation. Why don’t you get to work on actually helping us?” You say, scowling at him. You walk towards your room. “And put some clothes on. Nobody wants to see that,” you say without turning back.
After he is out of your line of sight, he smiles. It’s not one of amusement, or even excitement. It’s measured. Calculating. Almost predatory.
Now, he understands. Not only that, he knows what has to happen next.
Karli took priority, so his plan had to wait. But as the two of you, along with Samuel and James, relentlessly pursued the serum, he keeps watching. He keeps noticing.
It started with his idea to glean intel from Selby in Madripoor. Upon his insistence, you arrive in the guise of his consort. It does not go over his head the way that you clutch his arm tighter when he utters the command for Bucky to attack, your cheeks rosy from the strong shot of serpent’s blood.
Then, at the warehouse, he had donned his mask, taking down several attackers on his way to climb atop the storage crate. From that vantage point, he not only sees the gas tank that he would target in order to create a diversion, but your face as you watch him from your hiding spot. It is bruised, bloodied from the attacks the hitmen had rained upon you and Sharon as you kept guard. But, even from the distance, he can see your lips part ever so slightly, staring up at him. Smirking beneath his mask, he aims his gun at the gas tank, pulling the trigger.
After he pulls up in the convertible, he gestures to it with a flourish. “Supercharged,” he jokes. The moment is so fleeting he could have blinked and missed it, but the corner of your mouth twitches upwards in what could have possibly been a smile. You quickly regain control, chastising him for shooting Nagel. Yet, he files the observation away to be fit into the complex puzzle that was the tenuous relationship you share.
Zemo had not been the only one observing how events unfolded in Madripoor. Fighting alongside Sharon Carter, you balked at her grace and fury as she effortlessly took down your attackers. It had been what felt like years since your last real scrape with danger. You were occasionally called upon when Sam needed an extra body for a contracting mission, but his high-powered tech often got the job done all on its own. You were out of practice, and you hated it.
In the safehouse, you have a brief moment of peace when Sam and Bucky decide to venture out on their own. Zemo had retreated to his bedroom to read, so you push the furniture and elegant decor out of the way, creating a large space in the middle of the living room. You dress down to your spandex and draw your practice weapons: Two blunt, wooden escrima sticks. Starting slowly, you move through a sequence of training movements.
You are so enraptured in the flow of your sequence that, for the first time on this mission, you let your guard down. So much so that you do not notice the door to Zemo’s bedroom click open.
Careful not to break you from your reverie, he quietly sits himself in a chair against the wall, reopening his book. Out of the corner of his eye, he continues to watch. He observes the way the sculpt of your body twists with your movement, the subtle beading of sweat on your brow, the flush in your cheeks. Also apparent, is the slight awkwardness of your movements, jerking your elbow here and there, stumbling over your own feet.
“You are tripping all over yourself,“ he says to you without looking away from his book.
Your shoes squeak on the tile as you halt yourself, startled. “How long were you standing there?” You say, eyes narrowing.
He raises his eyebrows to you. “If my approach went unnoticed, you clearly need more help than I thought.”
Before this point, he had always treated you with undue cordiality and charm. But for things to go as planned, he would need to take a more… aggressive approach.
Your brow furrows. “I’m a little rusty, I admit it. But it’s not like I see you doing much hand-to-hand, either.”
He sets his book down, tilting his head at you. “Do you think I became the fighter I am relying on guns alone, dear? I trained for years in all forms of combat to lead EKO Scorpion, and trained all members of my squad, as well.”
You cross your arms. This interaction has gone on for far longer than you’d like.
He raises his hands, a feigned surrender. “It’s all right. I don’t think you would be able to understand the complexities of my training, anyways. I’ll leave you be.” He stands, book in hand.
Again, you take the bait. “Teach me,” you say, staring into his eyes with intensity.
He gives you a small smile, much like the one he had surreptitiously elicited after the “Bathrobe Incident”. “No, I don’t think I will.”
He turns to walk away, and is nearly to his door when he hears approaching footsteps, feels a hand grip the collar of his shirt, right over his shoulder.
“Teach me,” you repeat, balling his shirt in your fist.
He very slowly places his hand over yours, batting it away from his collar with a smirk. Then, he retreats into his room.
You huff to yourself, swatting your weapons with heightened frustration. How dare he make you beg for his so-called training? You were the one helping him, protecting him. He should be grateful to you for even giving him the light of day.
This time, you can’t stop yourself from swinging your head around upon hearing his door open. He had changed into a thin blue tee shirt and gray sweatpants. As during the Bathrobe Incident, you notice a thin gold chain hang from his neck. Your shock at seeing the normally-formal baron in athletic wear is only topped by the revelation that at his side, he holds a sheathed long sword.
“Guns are far more convenient in this day and age,” he says. “But the sword has always been my weapon of choice.”
He sees your eyes flicker to his torso, defined through his shirt, then back to his eyes. You swallow. “You’ll train with me, then?” You say, giving off a weak tone of disinterest.
He nods. “Be warned, I will not go easy on you.” He pulls the sword from the sheath and it glints in the light rays that trail in from the window.
You dig around in your bag, switching your practice sticks for durable metal versions. You forego the vibranium, not wanting to shatter what seems to be his family heirloom. “I wouldn’t want you to, anyways.”
The two of you circle the space, weapons bared. Then, before you can even formulate a plan, he lunges at you, slashing at you with deft accuracy. In reaction, you raise your escrima sticks in an X to block. You break the X, pushing his sword away to give you enough of an opening to swing both of your sticks at his torso. He twists his wrists with ease, aiming the sword vertically downward to block.
“You are too rigid,” he says, pushing against you with so much force you feel your shoes begin to slide across the floor.
“I’m open to any suggestions,” you reply, quickly retracting your weapons and twisting away from his momentum.
He pauses, taking a neutral stance. “To me, fighting is more like dancing. Do you ever dance?” The sour expression on your face answers his question. “Move with your opponent, rather than against them,” he explains.
Then, he charges at you again. Mirroring his movements, you step back, answering his gesture with a movement of your own. And so, the two of you create a conversation without words, the only sound the squeaking of your shoes and the clang of metal against metal. And though you weren’t one for dancing, you felt as though the two of you were entangled in a choreography both tense and fluid, graceful and hostile.
You were not the only one attacking with aggression. Zemo, too, let his anger show through his forceful slashes and stabs at you with his sword. Anger at you for treating him with such coldness. Such disrespect.
Then, you clamp his sword between your escrima sticks. You swing your arms, causing all of the weapons to fly across the room, clattering against the wall.
You are about to catch your breath when you feel Zemo’s hands take your neck into a chokehold, pushing you across the room. Your back hits the wall and your feet start to rise off of the ground as his grip lifts you into the air.
“Adapt,” he commands you.
You attempt to pry his fingers off of your neck to no avail. You feel your head start to cloud from your restricted airway. All you can see is Zemo’s deep brown eyes, his expression feral.
“You act so cold towards me,“ Zemo says, teeth gritted. “But I see through it. I’ve seen you watching me. I know exactly what you want,” he breathes into your ear.
Something within you shifts. Your enraged expression drops to a deadly calm. Then, you start to laugh.
“Oh, you are so cute,” you say, lips curled into a sinister smile. Though your laugh is sweet, there is venom in your gaze.
His shock loosens his grip around you. You twist your body, breaking his hold. Looping your arms through his, you sweep his legs, taking him down to the floor.
He stands quickly, and you begin barraging him with blows. He blocks them with deft technique, though you can see his resolve begin to crack. A dark spot forms on his sternum where sweat stains his shirt. A lock of hair falls from his combed style, falling across his forehead.
“You think you know me?” You say, tone biting.
He finds an opening, taking the offensive. “I know that I know you.”
You smirk. Again, he balks at the alien expression that has overtaken your face. “That’s why you’re so frustrated, then,” you lilt.
Predator has become prey. He takes the bait. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I want,” you say, gaze burning into his. You lean in, whispering in his ear. “But you’re not man enough to give it to me.”
You slam the heel of your palm into his torso, knocking the wind out of him. You sweep him to the ground.
Just at that moment, Sam and Bucky return from their outing to find you, straddling Helmut Zemo, your hands gripping his wrists into restraints. Both of you heave your chests in order to catch your breath, cheeks flushed. Your faces are mere inches apart.
Both of you turn simultaneously to see your teammates return. You quickly roll off of Zemo, standing and explaining the purpose of your closeness. Bucky and Sam smile at you, amused. They had never seen words jumble out of you in that way. It was almost as if you were embarrassed. The room is painted orange from the setting sun, and the two Avengers retreat to their rooms for the night; an inconclusive search.
All the while, Zemo lay on the ground, expression unreadable. You reach down to help him up.
“Sorry about all that,” you say. Your expression is neutral, but no longer so icy. “I don’t know what came over me,” you explain, averting your gaze. “Thank you for helping me, though. I feel much more prepared for our mission.”
He simply nods. You go to the kitchenette to pour yourself a glass of water. As you stand at the kitchen counter, you hear him step up behind you. He reaches with both arms to grip the counter on either side of you. The warmth from his body radiates onto you, You see his knuckles, white.
He then leans in, and speaks into your ear. His voice is as steady as you’ve ever heard it in a way that jolts your fight-or-flight response.
“Listen to me very carefully,” he first says. You nod, your gaze trained straight ahead.
The corner of his mouth curls upward. “It appears from what you’ve said I still have much to teach you,” he says. “I will be in my room for the night, should you want to continue to learn.” The edge in his tone sends prickles up your spine.
He then picks up his sword, sheathing it and leaving the room. Leaving you to decide whether or not to follow.
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Can you please do one where ur mad at Bucky and he tickles u so u stop ignoring him
Can’t Stay Mad
(Bucky x Reader)
Summary: Bucky calls you a raccoon. It’s up to him to make things right with you.
Word Count: 620
“Hey,” Bucky called out from the couch across from you. “Why are you sitting over there? You always sit next to me when we watch movies.” You didn’t respond, but instead shrugged as you turned your attention back to the TV.
The morning of that day, you came downstairs looking extremely tired, which Bucky had immediately noticed. He knew you’d been super stressed out about finals for school, yet still decided to point out the dark circles that had planted around your eyes.
“Good morning y/n- woah. You look like a raccoon. Did you get any sleep last night?” Bucky said nonchalantly. You rubbed your eyes in embarrassment, pulling your hoodie over your head in defense. It rubbed you the wrong way, since the last thing you wanted to be worked up about was your physical appearance.
“You know I’ve been studying for finals Buck. Why would you say something like that?” you said as you grabbed a granola bar and headed back up to your room in a huff, not wanting to talk about it any longer. He felt bad for a little bit, but brushed it off as he thought it wouldn’t affect you much; little did he know, though, that you were pretty upset about it.
“Oh c’mon,” he dragged out, “you aren’t still upset about what I said earlier, are you?” His smile faltered a bit as he noticed your face hadn’t changed it’s salty expression. You still didn’t say a word. He’d figured you weren’t going to respond, so he got up and plopped himself beside you. “If I say sorry will you talk to me? Huh...?” he smirked as he poked at you stomach. Your lips curled a bit as you slapped his hands away. “We’re doing this the hard way? Fine by me.” In no time, Bucky had sprawled himself on top of you on the couch, clutching your wrists so he could stick his prickly beard in the crook of your neck, sending a million shivers down your spine.
“Buhuhuhuck nohohoho!” you squeaked, not being able to hold in your nervous giggles, but at the same time, not replacing your grumpy demeanor.
“She speaks! I’m gonna need you to smile for me though bug...”
“Nohohohoho!” you whined, forgetting that you didn’t have much of a choice considering you were at the mercy of a psycho with a bionic arm.
“Guess we gotta go for the big guns...” he sighed, pretending like he wasn’t currently having the time of his life.
“WHAT? NAHAHAAHAHA-” Before you could protest, Bucky had started kneading your thighs at what felt like a hundred miles per hour. There was no way you could hold in your smile, which was just what he wanted.
“There she is!” Bucky beamed as he paused his attack. “You gonna talk me now?” You immediately frowned, now that you were actually in control of your actions.
“Only if you stop tickling me.” You would’ve crossed your arms if your wrists weren’t still trapped by the man.
“Okay okay...” he relented as he pulled you up into his lap, engulfing your entire form; compared to him, you were like a peanut in his arms. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier bug... didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” You looked up at him and smiled sweetly.
“S’okay, I know you didn’t mean it.”
“Oh I meant it- OW!” he winced as you elbowed him in the rib.
“And I meant that...” you quipped.
“You have five seconds to run before I get you...”
“Oh god.” You didn’t even think before you began sprinting away from a hungry eyed Bucky. It’s safe to say he was glad to have the old you back.
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Y/N: I got called pretty today.
Y/N: Actually the full statement was “You’re pretty dumb”, but I’m only focusing on positive things today.
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Breakfast and Mornings and Things - Avengers
[ Avengers x reader ]
Author's note: Just thought I'd do a short drabble with some of the avengers :)
You groaned and got out of bed as your alarm went off. You didn't have training this morning, which was a relief considering your tired state. You quickly changed out of your pajamas and got ready for breakfast.
You hadn't been an avenger for too long, so you were still getting used to the whole avengers tower thing. You'd still get lost sometimes, and you'd have to ask Friday for help around the compound.
You yawned as you walked through the rooms and entered the kitchen to see Tony already snacking on a piece of bread.
"Morning." You greeted lazily as you stride to take some cereal from the cupboard. It didn't take long for Nat and Steve to join the two of you for breakfast.
"Do we have more coffee?" Steve asked as he saw Tony take the last bit of coffee.
"Yep, in... one of those drawers." Tony pointed towards the many drawers that Steve has to go through to get more coffee.
"Goodluck old man." You chuckled as Steve sighed and rubbed his forehead just as Sam entered the room.
You grabbed a bowl and some milk from the fridge and began assembling your cereal. You poured some cereal into the bowl before the milk, causing Sam to protest.
"Wait wait wait–" Sam made gestures with his hands to stop you from what you were doing. "You pour your cereal first?"
"Yes. Pouring milk first is just not it."
"I have to agree with y/n." Wanda piped in as she walked towards the table.
"But your cereal gets soggy." He complained, pointing at your cereal to prove his point.
"I guess I like it slightly soggy." You shrugged, Sam looking like he just saw a chicken riding a ghost. You made your way towards the dining table, next to Wanda, and lift your spoon to start eating when you felt a gush of wind knock the cereal out of your spoon.
"Piet." You groaned as he slowed down to lean against the wall.
"What's got you so grumpy printessa?" Smirking, he used his super speed to pick up the bowl of cereal that was in front of you, and started eating it.
"No fighting in the kitchen, kids!" Tony's voice rang from the living room, where he was enjoying his toast on the couch.
You never understood the people who live with others and like mornings. You knew that you'd never get used to mornings with the avengers, especially with a bird making comments about your breakfast, and a certain speedster that always steals your food. And you haven't forgotten the commotion that happens in the mornings. Guess I'll just have to get used to this.
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REMEMBER ME, DARLING: III
warning: talk about praying.
All Steve remembered was the coldness in Y/N’s hand when he held it in his for some times... days...nights...and more days... and many more nights. His eyes were heavy in the sleep that he fought away, and he never regretted going against his duty at being a hero--even after Fury yelled at him on the phone for not being there while his other teammates stuck up for him (mostly Natasha, Sam, Bucky, and surprisingly Tony)
It had been nearly a week since the accident and Y/N not waking up. It feared Steve that the doctor’s diagnosis was correct. God... that feared him to the bone. He knew it was nothing he nor the doctor could do if the unthinkable happens. But what he did do... after so many years of ignoring it... denying it... he prayed. He prayed long and hard until his knee clashed against the tiled floors, his hands held together as his head rested upon it, and his body fully leaned on one side of the hospital bed. And he prayed: Dear God... don’t take her from me. She brings out the life I want... the life I need.
God must have answered his pray at the wrong time... but he did answer it, right?
One night, day 12, things changed. It wasn’t Steve fault that he wasn’t in the room because Natasha kicked him out to take a shower and grab some things from home. The home he abandoned for so long and made resident at the hospital. All he got on the drive home was a phone call from Nat saying to get his ass back at the hospital now.
He drove back to the hospital like a maniac, not the picture perfect of America’s Golden Boy. But what can he say... he was in a rush. He thought of the worst. Y/N probably coded and he had to see that when he got to the hospital. He never thought of her waking up because he assumed God didn’t listen and the possibility of her waking up grew much more tinier, day by day.
So when he got to the hospital, he grew impatient for the elevator and ran his way up the backstairs into the ICU. When he got to that floor, he didn't expect it to seem so empty, like it was nothing. He didn’t know what to see or expect, but maybe a flurry of activities from the staff in a certain room -- Y/N’s room -- like the way he saw it on a TV show that played and he mindlessly paid attention to—few days ago. His heart drummed against his chest as he slowly made to the cubicle that held his love.
That was when his heart skipped a beat. In the room was a doctor and Natasha, leaning over Y/N as her eyes blankly blinked at them. Oh, my God. She was awake. He rushed on over, but Natasha must have sensed it because she quickly stood up and blocked Steve’s path to Y/N.
“Y/N,” he whispered her name as if he was trying to believe it was real. Natasha still blocked him for a certain reason. He turned to Natasha with a scowl. “Let me see her, please,” he tried to move around her, but she matched his movement. He grew agitated and less confused.
“Steve,” Natasha called out her friend’s name. “Steve, listen to me.”
“I’ll listen when you listen, and it is to move, so please do. I hate to use force.” Even with that threat, Natasha still stood her ground. And when Steve looked into them, he saw worrisome fear. And then now he feared. “What - What’s going on?” He turned his attention to the doctor that put a lighted pen into Y/N’s eyes direction.
Steve watched as the doctor did so, until the pen was put away and the doctor turned to Steve. He held no emotion that showed anything, but he looked back at Y/N for some time. “Doctor?” Steve asked again.
The doctor took sometime to look back into Steve’s eyes before telling him the news. “As you can see, Y/N is awake... but it seems that she had one of the side effects from the accident. Memory loss.”
Steve choked a little on air before trying to deny it. “No. No. You’re lying. She can’t have memory loss. She -” Natasha put a hand on his shoulder before justifying the doctor’s answer.
“I’m sorry, Steve, but it’s true. When they checked her once she woke up... she couldn’t recognized me or even her name.” Steve wouldn’t believe his friend’s words.
“Why couldn’t you call me sooner or why did I leave? Maybe if she woke up and saw me first, she’ll know. Wait no... what am I saying? She still remembers!”
“Steve,” Natasha still tried.
“No!” He pushed past by Natasha and walked on over to Y/N. Y/N’s eyes were trained on him the whole time as he walked on over to her bedside. “Maybe it’s just the droopy drugs, right doctor?” he looked up at the doctor but the doctor shook his head no.
The doctor walked on out to give Natasha and Steve some times with Y/N. “He’s wrong, right Nat?” Natasha didn’t know what to say but excuse herself as well— to call the team on Y/N’s new condition.
He was now left alone with Y/N. He kneeled down on the ground to keep his eyes level to her. “Y/N? Please say something,” he whispered. “Do you know me? I’m Steve. Steve Rogers, your fiancé. Oh, God, I’m your fiancé. Please remember that, please? Or do you know your name?”
Y/N’s mouth opened and closed quite a few times before she finally spoke. “I’m... I’m... who am I and who are you?” Steve’s heart fell away from his chest. Tears streamed down his face. This couldn’t be happening... this shouldn’t be happening.
He tenderly pushed a few strands of hair away from her face and tried to smile at her, but failed. “Your name is Y/N L/N. My fiancé. I’m your fiancé, Steve. Captain America... the hard-ass that you usually call me.” He waited for that moment for her to answer, but it never came.
This shouldn’t be happening... it was all that accident fault. He hoped Natasha or the team found something of that sicko and the car. But why did he felt like he was responsibly for all of this. For the walking out of the argument. If he didn’t leave, Y/N might not have left and would have been safe at home. Then he would be home too, in her arms telling her that he loved her.
But no... he was living his nightmare. She not only couldn’t recognized him, but she didn’t know herself. What a fuck up thing...
Steve still cried as she didn’t say anything else. He watched as she then turned her head away from him and then slowly back at him, as if she was observing the space around her. “Who are you?” she asked him. Steve didn’t answer, because he knew she’d forget again, after saying his name too many times.
He stood up and paced around the room, before his aggression got the best of him and a punch was let out. A hole was marked into the wall. Crap. He knew the staff was staring at him because of the loud noise, but he didn’t bother to see. Yet, he heard Y/N asked once again: Who are you? Who am I?
He slowly peered around to see Y/N watching him spiral down. She shouldn’t have seen that. Now he felt ashamed. Angered at himself for letting his love see him like that. Wait... did she know that he loved her?
He slowly, once again, made his way back on over to her. This time she didn’t watched his every moves, but instead, watched at the ceiling in fascination. He caressed her cheek, and she leaned into the touch. That’s good, right?
“Who are you? Who am I?” Those two same questions that she didn’t know broke Steve’s heart... or whatever left of it.
He gently climbed in beside her with the small room left in the bed, and gently lifted her up and into his arms and into his chest. He cradled the half of her body as he rocked back and forth. Crying, once again. She looked up at him, not a clue of who he was.
“I’m Steve, your fiancé, and I love you.”
Taglist: [ @prettysbliss @tenaciousperfectionunknown @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @crispysublimecupcake @austynparksandpizza @loving-life-my-way @kalopsia-flaneur @lazyloki @hotti3lamotti3]
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sebastian stan's new look omg WOW<333
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THE LITTLE PRINCE
Summary: You’ve had a rough day and you find comfort in the library
Warnings: Fluff, angst, comfort
Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader
Word Count: 3k
“Fury, I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention-“ Nick immediately cuts you off. “Damn right you weren’t! I took a chance with letting another kid on this damn team and you made me look like a fool! You let me down today.” He snapped. Your eyes begin to fill with warm tears at his words. “I wasn’t on my game. You’re right. It won’t happen again, I promise.” you trembled. “It better not. You’re excused.” He replied sternly before looking down at the file in his hand.
You quickly turned around, pushing the door open and rushing down the hallway. Going to your room was the most predictable choice but instead, you decided to head to the library. The library was quiet and no one ever bothered to go in there which definitely meant some alone time. As you walked you wiped the tears from your eyes frantically, in fear of running into anyone on the way. You finally reach the library, pushing the door open in a hurry and closing it behind you. The air feels less heavy in the library, it’s always clean and the smell from the fireplace is always comforting.
You gently run your fingers against the spines of the books, feeling each different texture under your fingertips. You pull one of the books from the shelf and run your hand over the front of it, admiring the cover. The Little Prince, the same one that you read as a kid. You smiled to yourself as you opened the cover, walking over to the tall dark wood cabinet filled with an array of blankets. You pull one of the knitted blankets from the cabinet and settle down on the loveseat couch.
As you flip through the pages of the book, you hear a slight shuffle from behind one of the bookcases which causes you to snap your head up in confusion. “Is someone there?” you ask lightly. Suddenly, Loki peers his head around the corner of the bookcase with a nervous smile on his face. “Loki? How long have you been there?” You chuckle. “Not much longer before you came running in. You seemed quite upset and I did not want to bother you.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in here.” you apologize before closing your book and sitting up.
“Please, stay. Don’t let me get in the way of your alone time.” He pleads. “Are you sure? You were here before me and I don’t wanna be a bother to you.” You ask cautiously. “I’m quite okay with sharing the space. That is if you are okay with it.” He proposes. You smile warmly at him and his posture settles, his tense shoulders relaxing a bit. He pulls a book off the shelf without reading the title and sits on the couch across from the one you’re settled on.
“The Little Prince” Loki smiles. “Hm?” you reply in confusion. He then motions to the book in your hands and you continue. “Oh, yeah. It’s one of my favourites actually.” you smile at him. “Is it? I can’t say I’ve ever read that one. What’s it about?” he asks in a genuine tone. “Well, it’s about a little prince who meets a pilot stranded in the desert. The prince tells the pilot that he was born on an asteroid and he recounts many strange encounters from his travels. I don’t want to spoil it much but it is definitely worth reading” you explain passionately. Loki doesn’t take his eyes off of you the whole time, he enjoys watching you explain the things you love.
“Would you mind reading me some of it?” Loki asks boldly. You’re shocked by his sudden boldness but it makes you smile. “I’d love to. Would it be okay if you sat closer? I’m a pretty quiet reader.” You smile. Loki raises his eyebrow at your words and approaches the couch you’re stretched out on. You quickly sit up and he sits down on the cushion beside you with a soft smile. He hesitantly lifts his hand, wrapping his forearm around both your ankles pulling them back over his lap and gently resting his hand on your leg once you’re settled. You smile at the sudden contact. He nods at you and you reopen the book, landing back on your previous page.
“He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing. The night had fallen. I had let my tools drop from my hands. Of what moment now was my hammer, my bolt, or thirst, or death? On one star, one planet, my planet, the Earth, there was a little prince to be comforted. I took him in my arms and rocked him. I said to him: ‘The flower that you love is not in danger. I will draw you a muzzle for your sheep. I will draw you a railing to put around your flower. I will…’. I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go hand in hand with him once more. It is such a secret place, the land of tears.” You finish the page, glancing up at Loki only to see his eyes filled with a gentle look, a look that sends butterflies to your stomach.
He gently caresses his hand up and down your leg. His touch is light and delicate. “Did… did you like it?” you stutter. He clears his throat before meeting your gaze. “It was beautiful. You read it beautifully.” He smiles. You chuckle before closing the book and looking back up at him. “So do you think you’ll give it a shot?” you ask hesitantly. “Definitely. Do you mind?” he replies, holding his hand out in front of you. “Not at all. As long as you tell me what you think.” you smile while placing the book in his hand gently. He takes the book and rests it on your legs gently while they still rest on top of his thighs.
“What about you? What’s your favourite book?” you ask, breaking the silence. “I’m afraid my favourite book is one you wouldn’t be able to read. Although, once I can get my hands on a copy of it, maybe I could read it to you.” Loki replies wholeheartedly. “Why wouldn’t I be able to read it?” you chuckle lightly. “I’m afraid it’s one that hasn’t been translated yet. Unless you are able to read Asgardian, you’re stuck with me.” he chuckles in response. “Hm, you’re right. Asgardian language is not something I’ve learned.” you smile back.
You begin to fiddle with the fabric of the blanket, avoiding eye contact with Loki. “Is something bothering you?” he speaks up. “It’s nothing extreme, I’ll be okay,” you reply, focusing on the blanket that rests on your legs. “I’ve been told I can be a good listener. You’re free to speak your mind.” Loki states in a comforting tone. You open your mouth in an attempt to speak but you close it once your eyes meet with Loki’s once again. “It’s okay. You can trust me,” he speaks up once again.
Something about Loki’s eye made you think you could trust him with anything. His touch was comforting. Everything about him was just inviting and comforting. You sigh before clearing your throat to speak more clearly. “Things went badly today, like really badly. I wasn’t paying attention and I didn’t have Nat’s back when I promised I would, she trusted me and I almost got her killed. Fury was really upset afterwards and well… he told me that I let him down. It just really hit hard I guess. I feel like I’m always just letting everyone down.” you reply. Your chest becomes tight as you open up about your feelings, it wasn’t something you did often but Loki really made it feel like it was okay.
“You’ve never let me down.” He replies sternly before reaching over and placing his hand on top of yours. You flinch at the sudden skin-to-skin contact and Loki looks at you in confusion. “I’m sorry… I’m just not used to physical affection I guess.” You sigh. He lifts his hand from yours in worry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He mutters. “Oh no, it’s not that. Trust me, you don’t make me uncomfortable. It’s just new I guess.” you explain before placing your hand on top of his. He smiles at you warmly. “I can assure you that you don’t let everyone down. I believe you are one of the hardest working people I know. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, believe it or not. You’re excellent at what you do, don’t let this little slip up make you think any different.” Loki continues in an empathetic tone.
Loki flips his hand, entangling your fingers with his as he continues to sympathize with you. “Now I am a firm believer in the fact that no one can completely sympathize with someone else. Everyone goes through things differently. What I do know for sure is that you’re strong, compelling, tender, passionate, might I add, ravishing.” Loki states, his voice filled with honesty. “You… you truly mean that?” you ask in disbelief.
“Yes. I do. It pains me knowing that is hard for you to believe. Just know that I do mean every word.” Loki replies in a dejected tone. You sigh and raise your hand, resting it gently against Loki’s cheek. His skin is soft, it feels delicate and cold. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes and sighing at the intimate contact. “You’re so kind Loki. There is so much good in your heart.” You reply in honesty. “Excuse my candour, but the good in my heart is mostly for you.” He sighs, his eyes still closed as his head rests in your hand.
He rests there for a moment before opening his eyes again and meeting your gaze. “You’re dangerous.” He sighs, pulling your hand down from his face. You sit up, removing your legs from his lap and crossing them in front of you, confined to a single cushion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” you mutter, looking down at your hands. Loki sighs and leans forward, holding his head in his hands. “You didn’t overstep. I simply just enjoyed it too much.” He mutters back. “Is that such a back thing?” you question. “It goes against everything that I’ve stood for in these past few years.” He snaps back. “Loki… I don’t understand.” you stammer. “How could you? I myself can’t even understand it.” He snaps again, looking back up at you.
“Maybe, you could explain it to me?” you ask hesitantly. He looks at you in confusion and sighs. “I promised myself that I would not open up to anyone. I refuse to let myself be hurt by anybody, not again. I have felt the pain of betrayal and I can say with certainty that I do not wish to ever feel it again.” He explained in honesty. Your eyes soften and you lean forward, resting your forehead against Loki’s broad shoulder, avoiding eye contact before responding. “Loki… It can be easy to think everyone’s out to get you when you’ve been hurt before, but instead of being stuck on the pain and everything that went wrong, you must allow yourself the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness can be so strong. Instead of shutting the world out, think of all the people who love you and the people who think highly of you. Thor, for example, adores you with his whole heart. You’re his little brother, whether you like it or not. Think of how you keep trying to be a better person, I know that you’re trying your best to change your ways. You have come such a long way since New York, even then, that wasn’t completely you; let these be reminders that you are a person worthy of love and that you deserve phenomenal love.” you insist, full of care.
Loki sits in silence, he doesn’t reply, his breathing even becomes soft to the point where it’s almost silent. Suddenly, he clears his throat, startling you. “Look at me.” He replies sternly. You hesitantly lift your head and his eyes meet yours. His face is red, tears had flown down his cheeks leaving salty streaks on his delicate skin. His eyes are a slight pink and his lips are slightly parted, letting out small breaths. Your eyes, full of worry, scan his face frantically. You didn’t even know that he had been crying, he was so silent, almost as if he was experienced in silently sobbing.
Before you can speak again, he swiftly lifts his hands, gently holding each side of your face in his hands. He pulls you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours. His nose delicately brushes against yours as he searches your eyes almost as if he is trying to understand you in a simple gaze. He lets out a shuttered breath against your lips. “Can I?” He whispers softly, almost to the point where it’s unintelligible. You simply nod before he connects your lips with his, passionately inhaling at the moment of contact like it was something he had been waiting for and needing for a long time. His lips are soft and sweet, his tongue is delicate and swift as his mouth explores yours. His scent wraps around you, filling your nostrils with a warm mix of the burning fireplace, sandalwood and vanilla. Everything about it is comforting, he is comforting.
After a few more moments, you gently pull away, taking a deep breath. He moves his hands down to your shoulders and you tilt your head to look up at him. “I’m going to let you down.” He sighs before looking down, avoiding your eyes. “You won’t let me down Loki,” you state sympathetically.
“No... no.. the thing is, I will, more than once probably.” he sighs again. Before you can protest he continues on. “But, I am greedy. I don’t want to let you go. I give you my word now, I will never… ever, intentionally hurt you. I know that I am not perfect and I know that I am often torn between good and evil, but you, for you, I want to be good.” he stammers, another year flowing down his delicate cheek. You gently place your hand against his cheek, wiping the single tear away and lifting his face up to meet your gaze. His guard is broken down when his eyes meet yours and he sees the unexpected. He sees sympathy, understanding and care. “We all make mistakes. I promise you that with every mistake you make, I will be there with you along the way to guide you in the right direction. I promise.” you smile weakly. He is unable to hold back his tears at your words, he leans down resting his face in the crook of your neck, letting his cries out but this time they are not silent. For the first time in a very long time, Loki doesn’t feel the need to muffle and disguise his pain, he feels safe. You gently run your hand across his back, caressing him as he lets out his pain.
Once his sobs become less frequent, he lifts his head to reveal his face. His eyes are redder and his cheeks are flushed pink. His cheeks are tear-stained and salty. As you gently and intricately wipe his tears away, he examines your face. He smiles to himself as he watches the way your eyelashes flutter when you blink, he admires the tone of your lips and how beautifully the colour compliments your skin. He studies your complexion and admires how delicate and beautiful you look in this lighting. “I was right, you are very dangerous.” Loki chuckles lightly. “Oh yeah? How so?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “You, my dear, have me wrapped around the pretty little finger of yours. You have me wrapped so tightly that I would follow you anywhere, anything you say, I will do. You have me.” he chuckles again softly. You smile, cheeks flushing with pink at his words. He watches your smile and leans in once again, planting a soft and delicate kiss on your forehead, then down to the tip of your nose, finally landing on your lips, tangling his soft lips with yours. You giggle at the sudden affection and he only smiles wider.
Once he breaks the kiss, he sits back against the back of the loveseat and pats his chest, holding his arm out for you to cuddle underneath. You gently lean in and cozy up against his side as he rests his arm around you, settling with a sigh of comfort and relief. You hesitantly pick up the small book that had fallen between you two in the moment, holding it up to him with a smile. “You would like me to read?” he asks with a chuckle. “I would love it if you did,” you reply softly. He smiles as he opens the book once again, continuing from the familiar page that you had read to him not too long before. You close your eyes as you listen to the mix of the crackling of the warm fireplace and the hum of Loki’s voice as he reads the book that brings you so much comfort. He lifts his hand and runs it softly through your hair, soothing you as he reads. What once was a day filled with guilt, sadness and anger was now saved and filled with love, comfort and most of all, understanding.
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I'm With the Band Pt 5
Photo edit by @nix-akimbo
Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky x Reader, Rockstar!Steve x Reader
Word Count: 1,000ishhhh
Thank you so much to @starrysebby for being my beta bestie. You definitely understood the assignment ✨ I switch between POVs in this one so hopefully it makes sense.
Summary: Steve is tired of the games you play with him so he starts seeing a new girl. This makes you furious and you decide to send him a little tape of you and Bucky to make him jealous.
Warnings: 18+ - MINORS do not engage! Unprotected sex, voyeurism, filming without consent, light choking, broken-hearted Steve (This needs its own warning! 😭😩)
Steve was just about done with your bullshit.
It had been six long days since the threesome in Anaheim. Steve, stubbornly romantic at heart, sent a beautiful bouquet of florals to your suite the morning after and you were too much of a bitch to even thank him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Bucky had you on a tight leash and if you weren’t busy with your studies, you were busy getting fucked. But he had grown tired of the mind games. You had managed to do the absolute bare minimum to verbalize that you were interested.
While you struggled to express your feelings, you sure as shit let your body talk for you. You knew exactly where to touch him and what brought him to his knees the fastest. Accidentally grazing along his length with your ass during soundcheck. Ensuring that Bucky had his tongue jammed down your throat whenever Steve shot you a glance. You were being a bratty little tease and Steve was fed up with the games.
In a fruitless attempt to distract himself, Steve had started casually seeing one of the sound techs. She was a sweet little thing and sure, she was fun to fuck. But she was only there to serve the sole purpose as your stand-in. He was falling in love with you, despite all the childish stunts you pulled, and Steve finally surmised that you were simply not interested.
All he yearned for was the slightest inclination you felt for him even a fraction of what he felt for you. Every time his phone vibrated, there was a fleeting hope that it was a message from you.
As Steve crawled under his Egyptian cotton sheets, an iMessage chime went off and he couldn’t help but goofily grin when he saw the sender was you. With a double-tap of his index pad, his heart sank.
Fanning out the messy bun atop your head, wisps of auburn freely framing your face, you were still seething after seeing Steve with Paola, the slutty sound tech, at the show just hours prior. He may not be able to have you, but he shouldn’t be able to have her, either.
Steve made you feel like an absolute goddess among men but the morning after the devil’s threesome, you had trashed the flowers, popped the Advil, and made the choice to stay loyal to Bucky. You loved the reckless abandon and instability that came with Bucky - even though you were cognizant of Steve being the right choice, the practical choice.
You chewed nervously on your fingers, unsure of how you were going to play this. You revelled in him being wrapped around your finger and the thought of him moving on made you see crimson.
Bucky sat at the dimly lit desk, hand gripping a sharpie, autographing a hefty stack of CD booklets. His hair was messily tied into a bun, his neck tattoos exposed. “Hey babe..” you mewed, laying on the bed with your legs just slightly ajar, “I don’t want your hands cramping up, come here and play with me.”
Bucky’s grey sweats swung excessively low on his narrow hips, “You want this cock?” Without awaiting your response, Bucky dove onto the bed, two large hands sweep up your torso, landing on your pert breasts.
You had already propped your iPhone up on the mahogany TV stand, unbeknownst to Bucky. If Steve wanted to play stupid games, he would win stupid prizes. He had just won himself a front-row seat to the show you and Bucky were about to put on. A thrill ran down your spine at the thought of getting Steve flustered as he watched the tape.
Bucky pried his palms between your legs, splitting them apart, preparing you to be used. “I’m gonna fuck you filthy, doll.” He cradled his cock with his left hand, snapping the waistband of his underwear as he pumped it furiously. You loved that Buck could get almost instantly hard for you.
Your ultimate goal tonight was to feel full and thoroughly used – for Bucky to commandeer every inch of you and make you his perfect little whore. Your hips rocked back and forth fluidly up onto Bucky’s length, his calloused hand cupped around your neck, followed by the second – yanking on you ferociously as he thrusted deeper.
“Buck, can I ride you?” you sweetly begged, heart racing at the thought of a full-frontal display for Steve.
“Yeah doll, come ride this big cock.” You gazed directly into the iPhone camera, acutely aware of the devilish grin on your face. You wanted him to know how nasty the sex was.
You giggled prettily into a moan as you straddled Bucky’s svelte frame and perched up onto his already pulsing cock. Slow motions at first, working your way up to a rhythmic tempo - you felt yourself clamp down onto his cock. Reverse cowgirl let you put everything on display and you wanted to give Steve the private show he hadn’t asked for.
You ran your dainty fingers through your silken locks and curled your hands underneath the curve of your breasts, pushing them together to create the perfect shape. “Hi Steve,” you moaned into the camera, blowing a kiss. Bucky was in the throes of your pussy so he didn’t even notice your sadistic little greeting to his best friend.
Rolling and grinding against him, the pressure insurmountable, Bucky’s eyes focused on watching his cock disappear inside you. Bucky hummed, close to his own personal edge, “turn around, bitch. I’m gonna cream all over your pretty little face.” He hastily ejected his cock from your sweet, swollen cunt, spraying his molten load all over you - the salty tang coating your face. And scene, you thought to yourself.
Bucky was insatiable on this particular night, taking you not once, not twice, three times. The runtime of the clip exceeded an hour. This pornstar-level stamina would surely leave you unable to walk tomorrow.
After the final frame of the video played, Steve hung his head lowly. He was devastated to watch his best friend fuck you with such volatility and he was equal parts confused and hurt that you would send it.
He had watched the film in its entirety and though he fought the fucked up feeling of arousal, he knew that this had to be dealt with once and for all. Trembling, he clicked a message to you: “My room. Now.”
Thank you so much for reading, my angels!
All other parts can be found here
Add yourself to my taglist here! xoxo
@hailmaryyramliah @marvelfansworld @kmuir1 @spnqueen02 @abilouuxx @s-unflow-r @crybaby-mckay @babydaddy-buckybarnes @vinniesgf @hermione-grangers-wife @keeleyrose2003 @fulltrashblaze
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only angel - bucky barnes x fem!ghost reader (au) [COMING SOON]
summary: bucky barnes moves into a new apartment and is met with a ghost inhabiting his place the first night. as he tries to figure out who she is, where she comes from, and why she’s in his apartment, he comes to realize that she may not have had a happy ending. what will happen when bucky finally helps uncover her past that she does not remember?
warnings: death, ghosts/paranormal, mystery, angst, fluff, domestic violence, language.
a/n: this idea came to me one day while i was in bed. and the rest is history. i’m almost done writing it so i should have it up by next month! i will be doing a tag list for this fic so if you wanna be tagged, sign up here!
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Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3.4k (oneshot)
Warnings: 18+, smut, ANGST with a happy/bittersweet ending, Endgame Steve fucking up like a fucking idiot, grammar mistakes (unbeta'd)
Summary: He was supposed to be your home.
Note: This is for the wonderfully talented @sweeterthanthis 's 6k Quote Me On It challenge! I picked the quote: It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. Congrats on the 6k! You deserve it! ❤️❤️❤️
This story is pretty personal and borderline autobiographical. A lot of the dialogue was based on real things I've told someone. Because I’m a dramatic hoe, I guess. I just have a lot of feelings.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Here’s a link to my masterlist!
The apartment was quiet and dark, the blackout curtains were pulled shut, if only to give you some semblance of protection from the chaos outside. The only light in the living room came from the edges of the windows, where sunlight bled through the drapes, and the glow of the TV which, you kept on low volume as you flipped through various news stations.
The world was being attacked by aliens.
It didn’t make things any less scary, but something about this invasion felt ominous; you couldn’t place why.
You needed Steve now more than ever. You saw him at least once a month, when you traveled overseas to see him, or when he snuck into the country to see you. It wasn’t ideal, but it was what needed to be done until he was no longer wanted by the US government.
He called you a few hours ago to let you know he was coming. He needed to talk to the team or what was left of them, and the government was a little too preoccupied to arrest him. The scraping of keys unlocking the front door jolted you, the sound louder than anything you’d heard for some time, and you rushed to the entrance.
As soon as you got there, Steve had opened the door and you nearly jumped into his arms.
He held you tight and you sighed, missing how his hard body felt against you.
It felt like home.
“What’s happening? You asked.
“I’m not sure,” he said. His brows were knit, and he looked tired.
“How long do you have before you need to go?”
“Not very long. We’re going to head to Wakanda soon.”
You nodded and pulled him close for a slow kiss, gently running your fingers through his beard and longer hair. He eagerly returned your affections, large hands holding your waist before snaking his arms around you and picking you up.
You giggled and he quickly repositioned you so he could carry you bridal style into the bedroom.
He laid you down onto the bed and settled between your legs, pulling your yoga pants off, along with your panties. He kissed the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, and you sighed at the feeling of his beard tickling your skin.
Dipping his tongue into your folds, he hummed as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair as he all but consumed you. It didn’t take long for him to throw you over the edge into an intense orgasm. He normally took his time with you, but you knew he had little of that precious commodity, so you quickly removed the rest of your clothes and he shrugged out of his suit.
The bed creaked when he crawled on it, over your nude body, and he placed kisses from your stomach to your breasts where he laved his tongue over a nipple before suckling on it, letting it go with a pop. He finally settled above you, dark blue eyes looking at you, and he leaned down to kiss you. You keened under him, and gasped a little when you felt his hard length run along your wet slit until it prodded at your waiting entrance.
“Ready for me, sweetie?” He asked, his voice husky with need.
You nodded, and he thrusted his hips forward.
The feeling of your walls being stretched to their limits had you moaning Steve’s name. It didn't matter how many times you'd taken his cock before; it was always a feat every time.
He held onto your hips as he set a powerful rhythm, the tip of his cock rubbing against the spongy bit of wall within you. Normally, he’d make love to you a little bit longer before fucking your brains out, but time was of the essence. His pace was brutal, and you knew it would have you swaying for days, but it was what you both needed. He was a master at making your body sing for him, and it didn’t take long until you were writhing under him, cunt clenching around his cock.
“Fuck,” Steve groaned, and you felt him cum shortly after.
He stayed inside you for a moment, basking in your warmth, running his hands up and down your sides, kissing you deeply.
It was what perfection felt like, you were certain of that.
You both enjoyed a few moments in the glow of your spent bodies before he pulled out. You felt his cum drip out of your pussy, and he quickly went to the bathroom to grab a towel and help clean you up.
You helped him with his suit, clipping on the various straps and gear as he shifted them into place, silently working together.
“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he said once he was fully dressed.
“I love you.”
He smiled at you like you were his world and captured your lips in another deep kiss.
“I love you too.”
It felt like you were being held underwater, desperate to breathe, thoughts scattered like light through the surface of the ocean.
And then finally, air rushed into your lungs.
You were in your apartment. Except, it looked different. Steve still lived there, you could tell from the furniture and the old fashioned record player, but things were slightly off. The couch had moved, some of the various decorations on the walls had been taken down and replaced.
It was eerie. Unsettling.
You went to find your phone, wincing a little when you moved, your core still tender from earlier. You left it in the kitchen where it was charging on a dock, but it wasn’t there.
Screams and commotion gradually increased outside, and you wondered if the aliens had returned. Upon looking out the window, you saw people appearing, like watching vases shatter in reverse.
Is that what happened to you?
Terrified and not knowing what to do, you turned on the news, trying to get answers.
Drone footage showed a giant battle taking place where the Avenger’s compound used to be, the area around it completely obliterated. Hordes of alien creatures were fighting familiar faces.
You sat there and watched until it was over, and the alien army just… disappeared. Like dust in the wind.
With no way to call Steve, you waited. And waited. And finally, after what felt like days but was realistically hours, the door opened, and there he was, face still dirty from the battle. He looked at you like he was staring at a ghost.
He nearly ran to you and crushed his lips to yours and you squeaked as he lifted you into his arms.
“What’s happening?” You said as soon as he let you breathe.
He shook his head, unable to form words.
When the adrenaline wore off and he had showered and put on casual, comfortable clothes, he explained everything. “The Snap,” the five years that followed, the time travel heist they did to bring everyone back, Tony...
It hardly made sense, but you were just happy he was home.
At first, Steve was thrilled to have you back. He never let you out of his sight, and held you whenever he could. Gentle kisses on your cheek when you cooked dinner, sweet words of affection when you walked by him, glances thrown your way, eyes nearly overflowing with adoration.
It felt right.
But shortly after Tony’s funeral, something changed. He got more distant. You thought he was mourning his friend, but it was more than that. You’d hold his hand while the two of you sat on the couch, and he’d find a reason to let go-- he’d scratch his neck, pick up the remote, crack his knuckles-- he’d never go back for your hand.
The first few times, you thought it was just an accident, so you kept finding reasons to touch him-- in bed, in the kitchen... He always found reasons to move away.
He no longer spoke to you beyond surface level conversations, and it felt like you were talking to a cashier at the grocery store, most exchanges being about what you did that day and nothing more.
After a couple weeks of the emotional and physical distance, you finally broke down.
“What’s going on, Steve?” You asked.
“What do you mean?” he said after a moment, eyes shifting slightly. He was an awful liar.
You swallowed, “was there… was there someone else… during the blip?”
He shook his head, “No, no of course not.”
You nearly sighed in relief, “I wouldn’t blame you if there was. I was… I was pretty much dead.”
“It’s not that,” he said. He paused, and the guilt on his face had your heart sinking.
“When we were retrieving the stones, Tony and I ran into some complications.”
“Yeah, you took a detour to the 1970s.”
“I didn’t tell you everything,” he nearly whispered.
You furrowed your brows, the sinking feeling in your heart spreading to your stomach like an oil spill in the ocean, tainting all it touched.
“While I was there, I saw Peggy,” he said.
It was like someone sucked the air out of the room, and you could only stare at him, desperately wanting him to say something other than what you were already anticipating.
“She didn’t see me, but.. I just haven’t been able to stop thinking… what if.”
He glanced at you and swallowed when he saw the bewildered, hurt expression on your face.
“But… She’s not here,” you tried to make sense of what he was saying. Was he saying he didn’t love you, was he just confused?
“We need to return the stones, so I can go back-”
You felt your world closing in on you, the edges of your vision darkening, and the sounds around you became distorted.
You were underwater again.
“I have to go,” you whispered and ran out the door.
That was a week ago, and you hadn’t spoken to Steve since. He left a few messages on your voicemail, sent a few texts, begging you to talk to him. You couldn’t.
You had family that didn’t get dusted away, and with their help, you found a small studio apartment.
You stored away most of your furniture from your previous apartment when you moved in with Steve years ago, and to your surprise, the storage unit was still active. Steve must have continued to pay for it, and the thought made you cry.
After a full day of hard labor and help from some friends, your new apartment was no longer empty.
But it didn’t feel right.
Everything looked familiar, but it didn’t feel like home.
Home was several blocks down, but it felt like land blighted by nuclear fallout, like you couldn’t go near it, even if you wanted to.
You wanted to.
There were no words to explain what you felt. No matter how many times you tried to articulate them, both to yourself and to others, you couldn’t.
How do you explain loving someone and wanting nothing to do with them? Longing to be around them, but the very thought them causes your stomach to twist? Regretting ever meeting them, but being unable to imagine your life without them? The feeling of every happy memory of them tarnished with pain, rusted with broken promises.
It was a fury of emotions, all colliding at once like electrons in a particle accelerator, briefly turning into something tangible before you lost the words to describe it, and they faded into nothing.
You felt like you spent the first week crying. You probably did. It was hard to tell when the days blurred together.
Every second you were awake was spent craving Steve’s comforting touch, and then reminding yourself you no longer had that.
You lacked the energy to eat, and because you didn’t eat, you had no energy. All you could do was lay around.
It was what you imagined mourning felt like.
Mourning someone who was still alive felt silly, but you supposed the love he had for you had died.
Steve still sent you a couple messages a day, checking on you. You never responded.
You knew he was going to return the stones soon, and it didn’t feel right to let him leave without making peace. Not for his sake. For your own.
So you spent hours writing out what you felt, over and over, an entire speech prepared. But upon knocking on his door and seeing his face, his eyes reddened, looking miserable but so relieved to see you, you forgot what you’d written.
Speaking from the heart was dangerous, but it was all you had left. All you could give him was your truth because he decided he didn’t want anything else.
You sat on a familiar chair, and the feel of the cushion under you was enough to make your eyes water. It was what home felt like. Smelled like.
But it was all wrong. It wasn’t your home anymore. He wasn’t your home anymore. He'd evicted you.
Steve settled on the couch across from you, waiting for you to speak.
You chewed on your lip before closing your eyes.
“I imagine what I’m feeling is similar to what you felt when you came out of the ice,” you said at last, voice hoarse from crying and lack of use, having isolated yourself and refusing to speak to anyone. Steve’s brows furrowed, but he said nothing, waiting for you to continue. He was frustratingly respectful like that.
“One moment, you were fighting a war, the next you wake up, and the world is different. Everyone you knew and loved, gone, and the only things that remained were their legacies, either through incredible feats or through their bloodline,” you glanced at a picture of you and Tony Stark at a Christmas party a couple years… several years before. You were surprised Steve still kept it. “Sometimes both.”
Steve sighed, and you could see the grief in his eyes.
“Except, I thought I still had you,” you said, willing your voice not to waiver.
“I’m not going to beg you to stay. It wouldn’t be fair for you, and it would be incredibly pathetic of me.”
A tear fell down the side of your face, and you saw Steve lean forward in an attempt to wipe it away, but stopped himself when you flinched away.
“When Peggy passed away, I could tell you still loved her. I wasn’t mad at you for that. At the time, she was one of the last connections to your past. But I always wondered if you loved me the same, or if I was just there to keep your heart warm while it burned for another,” you whispered.
“You had five years to mourn me and move on,” you said. His lips parted, like he wanted to say something, but closed, jaw clenching slightly. “I’m actually not upset about that. I would have… I wanted you to move on if I couldn’t be there. I wanted you to be happy, with or without me.”
You wiped away a few more tears, unable to keep them at bay any longer.
“But if one look through a glass window was enough to rekindle something you felt nearly a century ago, and me being here after five years of being dead, wasn’t… Then I guess that’s it, right?”
Steve wiped away a couple tears that fell down his face.
Silence filled the space your words couldn’t.
“Why aren’t you angry?” He asked at last.
You laughed, bitterly, at the audacity of his question.
“I’m fucking furious,” you gritted, glaring at him through the pain. He looked a little taken aback but wisely remained silent. “I’m so mad, and I really wish I could hate you. I really want to hate you. This would be so much easier if I hated you,” you choked out. “But I don’t. I can’t. I love you too much.”
“I love you-” Steve began, his voice wavering.
“No. No you don’t get to tell me that,” you cut him off. “You might love me, but it’s not enough.”
He looked at you, wounded.
“I love you enough to let you go, and I deserve someone who loves me enough to at least stay. I don’t think I’m asking for much.”
You got up and so did Steve. You gathered your purse and looked around the apartment you knew so well, committing it to memory. Each bit of space meant something to you, whether it was late night cuddles on the couch, making love on the kitchen counters, teaching him to slow dance in the living room-- a graveyard of memories.
Steve said your name, and it snapped you out of your reverie. He looked hurt. You almost scoffed, but decided against it. Instead, you walked to where he stood and kissed him on the cheek. You could hear his breath hitch, just a little.
“I don’t want the last words I say to you to be angry,” you whispered. “So, I hope you find your happiness and your joy. I mean that,” you gave him a broken smile, which only fractured his face a little more. “You deserve the world, and I’m really sorry I couldn’t give that to you.”
You walked towards the door and twisted the knob, the dusty scent of the hallway mingling with the unique smell you associated with Steve, a mixture of old paper and leather. You paused and turned around, giving him one last look.
“It was a privilege to have my heart broken by you,” you said.
You saw his face fall, but walked out.
He didn’t go after you, but you weren’t sure if you wanted him to.
Steve was going to return the stones. You’d had your last talk with him a few days prior and you woke up, feeling empty.
Yesterday, you spent hours at a local nursery, buying a plethora of houseplants you could throw all your love into. You needed a hobby other than crying, you figured. Your living room looked like a greenhouse, but you liked it. It felt… alive.
Steve hadn't tried to contact you, but around noon, you got a message from Bucky.
It’s almost time.
You didn’t respond and sat on the floor, looking out the window for hours, watching the bright blue sky turn light pink.
That was it then.
It was a lot less dramatic than you anticipated. You thought maybe you could feel him leave, like your connection to him was spiritual. But it wasn’t.
You didn’t feel good, but you knew you’d make it. You’d heal, and you’d come out stronger.
You could do this.
A knock on the door interrupted the motivational speech you were in the process of giving yourself and you sighed, deciding to face the world, one step at a time.
At the very least, you felt slightly less burdened, knowing you did all you could-
“Can I come in?” he asked.
“Oh for fucks sake,” you mumbled incredulously after opening the door.
Steve was standing there, apprehension thick in his eyes, but more than that, he looked… scared.
“No,” you said.
He clearly wasn’t expecting that response, but simply nodded.
“I…” he started before shifting his weight awkwardly.
“... You?” You asked, and he peered at you, softly, like anything he’d say would shatter you. He wasn't wrong. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your soulmate?”
He winced, but carried on.
“I never saw what was in front of me; I never really appreciated it. I had something good. I was an idiot. But I see you now, and I’m so sorry it didn't happen sooner.”
You didn’t respond for a moment, tension heavy in the air.
Finally, you breathed in, and Steve leaned forward slightly.
“How dare you,” you said at last, and Steve looked a little surprised. “How dare you,” you repeated, voice low, simmering. “You don’t get to tell me you still love another woman and expect me to just… pretend that it didn’t happen.”
Steve nodded; he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“You really hurt me, Steve. You made me feel like I was nothing.”
“No, you don’t know. You were going to leave me for someone else. You can't even begin to understand what that feels like.”
The two of you stood there, the threshold of the door between your bodies. You could feel your heart beating and breaking, and you hoped he could feel it too.
“I’ll spend the rest of my days showing you how much I love you,” he said at last, and you could hear the hope and determination in his words.
“And what if I don’t want you to?” You whispered.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a shaking breath before looking at you, the blues of his eyes oddly tranquil. Like he prepared for you to reject him regardless of what he said or did, and accepted it with grace.
“Then, it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you,” he said at last. "I'll never regret staying. Even if you never forgive me. Knowing you're near will be enough."
You held his gaze for a moment. He was scared, hopeful, resigned.
You rolled your eyes and his face fall.
“Fuck…” you nearly scoffed and pulled him inside your apartment by his shirt, crashing your lips against his.
He reciprocated immediately.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated between breaths.
“I’m still really mad at you,” you said.
“You really hurt me,” you pulled away and choked out.
“I know, and I’m so sorry,” he said.
You sobbed in his chest, something you wanted to do for over a week, and he held you close, rocking you back and forth.
“How will I know you won’t hurt me again?” You murmured.
“You’ll have to trust me.”
“How can I?”
“I don’t know, but whatever I need to do to rebuild it, I will.”
You only nodded, unsure of where your future with him went. Part of you knew you were being foolish, that he shouldn’t have been given another chance. The foolish part of you didn’t care.
For the first time in a couple of weeks, you felt like your head was above water. You felt like you were home.
Note: I know, I know, melodramatic as fuck.
ANYWAY, thank you so much for reading, and congratulations again Lau! Here’s to another 6k!
As always, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Thank you!
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note: got the idea here (I pulled up a random number generator and chose three) and I wrote down four characters on slips of paper + picked a random one.
➬ 56. "why are you still with me?" ✧ 73. "don't say anything else, just stay." ✧ 81. "why can't you see that?"
(pairing: helmut zemo x reader | fandom: marvel | genre: somewhat angst, sprinkle of fluff | warnings: none)
“why are you still with me?” helmut questioned, deciding at the time to interrupt the shared silence. you glanced up from your book, dipping a finger to mark your spot, and chuckled, “what kind of question is that, helmut?”
he fidgeted with the gold necklace he always wore around his neck: a keepsake from his past that he no longer spoke of. when his eyes met yours, you were taken aback by the solemnity in his gaze; the question was one that seemed to hold weight on his mind, and your answer would either keep him afloat or drag him under.
“hel, where's this coming from?” you swivel your body to face him, hands reaching up to grasp his face, the pads of your thumbs smoothing over the slight stubble sprinkled over his jaw.
“you know the man I used to be,” he started, hesitancy in his tone, “the things I've done that I thought were right... justified,” he rambled, distress marking his features.
“while I may be a free man, there are still people from my past out there in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike me where it pains me the most... you.” his thin lips quiver at the thought, “and I don't think I could ever forgive myself if anything happened to you.”
“so, you think – for that very reason – I should leave you?” you ask, disbelief written all over your face.
“love, I don't want this life for you. to be constantly relocating, putting your life at risk, wondering when you'll finally have some semblance of normalcy.” he pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “look, all I'm saying is–”
you cut him off with a finger to his lips, “the man you were 10 years ago is not the same man you are now. why can't you see that? I chose to be with you, I knew what came along with the decision.”
the bedsheets rustled underneath you as his arms sought your waist; head carefully tucked in your collarbone, warm breaths fanning over your neck. you mindlessly skim your hand through his chestnut locks, massaging his scalp with the tips of your fingers, reveling in his pleased hum.
“don't say anything else, just stay,” he whispered; vulnerability evident in the way his arms tightened their hold on your body – afraid that you would slip away, like you always did in his nightmares.
“I'm not going anywhere, hel. I don't care what happens, I can handle this. all I want is for you to trust me, okay?”
you feel him nod against you – words abandoning him in favor of a physical agreement.
for the rest of the night, murmurs of reassurances and promises filled the short space between the two of you.
helmut – for once in his life – slept with no worries; the light press of your chest to his back a visible metaphor of your loyalty.
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❄️ The winter soldier ❄️
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(Hope you're still taking requests:D)
"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
A/N: if u guys r ever unsure if I’m taking requests, just check my bio on my blog! i am in fact taking requests at the moment though:)))
"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision, I have elected to ignore it,” you beamed with an all too wide smile.
“Excuse me?” Steve said after a surprised scoff. Did he think you were going to happily oblige to￼ a 10pm curfew? It was like he had forgotten you were almost an adult.
“You heard me...” Okay. You may have been dragging it out a little bit. The attitude you were giving him was partly due to the fact that getting on his nerves was practically your favorite hobby at this point; he wasn’t having it. He reacted with that confused, almost flustered face that he always gave whenever he had no idea what to say. It didn’t last longer than two seconds, and his favorite hobby at the moment was tickling the shit out of you to put your teenage angst in its place.
“Do you have any idea what you just got yourself into? Huh?” he said as he grabbed you in a bear hug, squishing and squeezing at your belly. It happened so fast that you couldn’t help but melt to the floor, which only gave Steve the upper hand.
“HAHHAAHAH! NOHOHOHOHO STEHEHEHEH-” you screeched, flailing your limbs in every direction possible; you were surprised you hadn’t dislocated anything.
“Where’d all those snarky comments go y/n? Does it tickle too much to talk?” he pried. There was still no way in hell you were coming home at 10, but that was obviously a different conversation for a different time.
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MCU Women React: Y/n In Labour
Your water mother fucking broke during an emergency lockdown at work, (Well fuck). Where the hell was Peggy? Or even Steve? You collapsed on your office floor while having to keep quiet but the pain. You grabbed the phone and sent a call to the meeting room where most of your work coworkers were.
"Y/n? Why are you calling? Its a lockd-"
"Steve my water just broke and I can't get up. There's someone outside the false shelf that covers my office door and well I can't leave or get help. Please, Steve, I need help"
"Y/n's water just broke"
With that Steve stayed on the phone with you while Peggy marched her way to your office with fire in her eyes. Peggy heard your screams of pain while taking her shot at a few men that couldn't stand a chance against her. Your head turned with fear while someone moved the shelf to enter your office, Peggy saw you on the floor with a gun in hand.
"It's me, love. Don't shoot"
Peggy closes the door and cracks open the emergency pregnancy kit while she ready herself to help her wife give birth during a literal lockdown.
"Breathe, love. Peggy is here"
You squeezed the living daylights out of Peggy's hand while you push a living human out of you. Your screams echo through your office while help arrives and so does your baby. By how Peggy handled the situation you knew she was going to be a great mother to your hopefully only child.
You were on a very small mission, okay maybe a mission that was supposed to be small but turned south when of a sudden your water broke and you were trying to hide but got captured instead. FUCK! In and out that was it but no, Tony needed a pack of mints while you were grocery shopping and now you and a few other people are TRAPPED IN A GROCERY STORE!
And hello your wife was nowhere to be seen, so fuck you TONY! God, where is Nat? You hear a loud bang outside and immediately knew it was your wife with red hair outside kicking some ass while a few people helped you with your labour. Your screams of literal hell caused your wife to turn crazy and finish the job without the others.
"Y/n! Are you- oh my god. Is this?"
"Yup, say hello to our daughter, my love"
Natasha holds your daughter while the others take in the kidnappers and hostages to safety. Nat apologizes while pressing a kiss to your tired lips.
You were out with Pietro shopping for snacks when all of a sudden you were being rushed to the hospital after your second contraction, apparently Pietro never read the books Wanda gave him for this situation, and well he didn't know what a contraction was until the pain surfaced. You were cussing at Pietro after he tried to calm you down withstanding far away from you as you laid in bed with this unbearable pain.
"Pietro, if you don't shut the f up and don't call Wanda I'm going to kill you after giving birth to this baby or babies"
"Yup calling Wanda and shutting up from here on out"
Wanda arrives within seconds after hearing you're cries of pain in the background, sure she detached an important meeting but hearing those cries turned a switch on within Wanda. Wanda flings the hospital doors open with her magic and flies to your room with a red wine misty clouding her eyes.
"Pietro, where the hell is Y/n?"
"She's in the middle of giving birth to a set of twins"
Wanda storms into your room and stood next to you with the biggest smile on her face.
"Baby, I'm here. I'm sorry for being late but I'm here"
You push with every need for speed while you basically break Wanda's hand. Two amazing and beautiful baby boys meet the world with the names of Timmy and Billy.
Wanda held Timmy in her arms while pressing a kiss to his as you did the same to Billy, lets just hope these boys age normally.
You scream with every pain that punched itself within your skin, why did you have to give birth while an attack takes place? You ran with a bullet wound within your inner thigh while alarms went off and sweat-drenched itself over your face as you try your best to run.
Coulson heard your screams and helped you up with the need for speed. Coulson drags you to a nearby room and basically locks the door with his guard up.
"Coulson, the baby is coming and I need Maria, please"
Coulson nods and gets in contact with Maria who is making her way to the room right as you speak. You hear a body thud against the door while you breathe and hope it was Maria who was kicking ass and making her way to you.
"Y/n! Open your legs and breathe. Maria is here"
Coulson helps you with your breathing exercises while you push for what seemed like hours.
"Hill, where are you? I need you to-"
"Not now NICK! I"M PUSHING A LIVING HUMAN OUT OF MY FUCKING VAGINA HOLE!"
"Uhh sir, Y/n is in the middle of giving birth and Maria is helping her, so-"
"Oh, look the whole gang is here, now help me get this baby's head out of my VAGINA!"
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Natasha: I want you to look me straight in the eyes.
Y/N: You expect me to look into those eyes and be straight?
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Good for you
Pairing: Loki x reader
Warning: angst? Anger? Idfk, breaking things, rage ig.
( A part 2 to White Horse )
AN: I didn’t have this one planned as a part buttttttttt I heard the song and I had a Loki’s perspective idea for this fic and I just started writing it and now it’s finished andddddd I kinda like it even more than I liked White Horse 😊😊 here’s the song if you want to listen while you read or whatever ❤️❤️
Loki glared up at the ceiling, staring up at the art of a mural painted over the surface for what seemed like the thousandth time that day alone. He showed absolutely no desire to do much else lately, not unless visiting Heimdall counted as something to do, but he never did that just for the purpose of chatting.
Since you’d ran away, he was even worse than he was before. He was cold towards anyone who approached him, he snapped at the very slightest of things and he spent his days obsessing. Obsessing over where you were, what you did, who you were with. Essentially, if it had anything to do with you, he demanded to know even the smallest of details.
For whatever reason, he didn’t dare go down to Midgard to look for you. Heimdall believed it was because he only worried for you and somehow deep down he knew this was better for the both of you but he kept this theory to himself, not wanting to further enrage the god.
“Where is she/he/they now?” Loki barked as he walked through the gates, not bothering with a normal greeting.
“Y/n is just out for a coffee your highness, there is not much to say from the last time you asked.” Heimdall said simply.
Loki shakes his head with a cold laugh. “And? Who is she/he/they with then? Midgardians typically go for coffee in pairs. They use it as a date.” He sneers, glaring just at the thought.
“It seems that she/he/they is with another person yes.” Heimdall says, hoping it won’t send Loki over the edge to hear.
“Of course.” He mutters under his breath, storming away without another word to Heimdall, his brain flooding with an overwhelming amount of memories with you, making his jaw grind as it tightened.
Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily
You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks
Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world
His thoughts were plagued with the idea of you with another, your hand held in someone else’s, your laugh being another persons treasure. It filled him with an envy as green as his cloaks, his blood boiling at the mere idea.
He stormed through the throne room, ignoring his fathers shouts of anger for the interruption, ignoring Thor’s cries of concern and heading straight to the only place he felt he had left of you; your room in the palace.
As angry as he was, he gently shut the door behind him rather than slamming it, not wanting to disturb the peace in the empty room.
To others, that was exactly what it would look like; an empty and vacant bedroom waiting to be used. But to him it was the last place he’d seen you, the last time he’d ever seen his one true love was in this room and he couldn’t handle the idea that it could be the last time ever.
He glanced at the photos you’d left decorating your dresser, the only sign that this room was ever once used for anything more than a guest room.
He stared at one of the photos with a blank stare, grabbing it off the dresser and looking down at your still smiling face intently, as though if he stared long enough, it would pull you right out of the photograph and back to him. But then he flashes back to the last night you two had been together, the way he’d been so blinded by his love for you that you’d managed to deceit him and he cried out in anger, tossing the frame across the room where it smashed as soon as it hit the wall.
He was breathing heavy, collapsing down to the ground on his knees.
He remembered Heimdall telling him that you had been seeing a therapist, coping much better with the trauma he’d put you through when you started seeing the professional. Despite his love for you, he was jealous beyond belief.
He was a god, he was good looking, he was a prince. He should be the one thriving without you, so he thought. But instead he was the one falling apart at the seams.
And good for you, I guess that you’ve been workin’ on yourself
I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped
Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl
He cried out again, anger filling his entire body with a hot rage.
Thor slammed the door open, rushing over to his brothers side. “Brother, what is the matter?” He asked, crouching down beside him.
Loki laughs humourlessly. “What is the matter? WHAT IS THE MATTER? The one person in this world who has ever chosen me over all else, who has ever loved me unconditionally has ran off into the sunset, probably with a mere mortal. And I am at fault for it. That, dear brother, is what is the matter.” He growls, a sad smile painting his lips.
“Y/n will return brother, at which point you may apologize for the problems between you two.” Thor assures him.
Loki scoffs, looking up at his brother with narrowed eyes. “Dare not speak her/his/their name brother.” He warns, his jaw stiff again.
Since your departure, the only person who’d said your name was Heimdall. Not even Loki himself could bring himself to say it, the pain still too raw.
Well good for you
You look happy and healthy, not me
If you ever cared to ask
“It will happen Loki. Give it time.” Thor says again, ignoring his brothers threat as he rises to his feet, patting Loki on the shoulder sympathetically.
Loki doesn’t move, stays in his spot planted on your floor, surrounded by his memories while Thor leaves.
He pulls himself up, but only to let himself lay on your bed rather than looking so pathetic and powerless on the floor, feeling he at least deserved that much dignity.
“Dearest I miss you.” He murmurs to no one, staring up at the ceiling once again, this time not quite glaring. The intricate golden and silver designs on your ceiling were more delicate, softer than the ones in his own or in any other room in the palace really.
“Loki I don’t need my own room in the palace. I have yours! That’s plenty enough for me.” He could practically hear your voice, your hesitation at staying in the palace officially due to the royalty part of everything fresh in his mind as though it were only yesterday and not three or so years ago.
Now you were probably off living your dream Midgardian life, something that was completely beyond him in your eyes apparently. He could almost see you, walking around in the streets on Midgard, savouring everything you saw, smelt, tasted. From what Heimdall had said, you were perfectly content being so ordinary.
Good for you
You’re doing great out there without me, baby
God I wish that I could do that
He hated thinking of you, every moment he did was a moment he had to spend missing your presence. In yet another fit of rage, he threw a crystal vase at the door, the shattered pieces spreading across the floor.
He forced himself to his feet, making himself leave your room, abandoning the broken items as he simply walked around them, slamming the door behind him. He’d already disturbed the peace in the room just by being there, he knew, and to think otherwise would be foolish and stupid.
“Prince Loki, are you alright? I heard something break and it sounded as though it came from your room.” A young maid asked as she approached him, worry apparent on her face. Loki recognized the girl as one who had been crushing on him for years, one who often made you bubble with jealousy whenever she was around.
He smirked at the girl, a new idea popping into his head, one that would surely have hurt you as bad as your leave had hurt him.
“I am alright, I slipped and knocked down a vase, that is all.” He explained, trying to regain his usual charm and confidence.
The girl nodded, a small smile on her lips. “I’m so glad.” She says, batting her eyelashes his way in a manner he was sure she thought was attractive to him. He ignored it, focusing on his goal.
He grabbed the girl and pulled her into his room, shutting the door and pushing her up against it, wasting no time as he attacks her lips with his own. She lets out a gasp of surprise but immediately returns the gesture, kissing him hard. He holds her at the waist with one hand, going to cup her face with the other but opens his eyes for a mere moment and is suddenly seeing your face.
He blinks harshly, until it’s the girl standing in front of him again, watching him with a confused pout. Just as she’s about to speak, more than likely to ask if he’s alright again, he pulls the door open, shoving her out and closing it behind her, his eyes wide as he runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavy once again as he falls to the floor, his back against the door.
“Loki she was staring right at you! She’s practically in love with you! And I’m standing right there and she still makes googly eyes at you!” You had scoffed whenever the maid was around.
He so badly wanted to be able to laugh about your jealousy towards a girl who meant nothing to him compared to you, whose name he couldn’t even remember. He wanted to caress the side of your face, the pad of his thumb to your lips while he reassured you that he was all yours, no one else’s. But he couldn’t turn back time, this he knew.
“My love I’d give anything to get you back to me.” He chokes, starting to sob into his lap.
I’ve lost my mind
I’ve spent the night
Crying on the floor of my bathroom
He spends the whole night there, leaned against the door, getting nothing but an hour or so of sleep. The next day, he uses a simple spell to make himself appear fine, not able to bear the embarrassment of others seeing him breaking down like this.
He ignores any castle staff onlookers, going on in his stride straight back to the bifrost, following his newfound unhealthy routine.
“Prince Loki I must advise you as to how toxic this is becoming for you.” Heimdall warns him, letting out a sigh as Loki holds up a hand to silence him, watching expectantly for an answer to his unasked question.
“Y/n has been settling into her/his/their new life. She/he/they is starting a Midgardian job today.” Heimdall finally explains, giving up on his attempts to preserve Loki’s feelings.
“I see.” Loki hums to himself, the gears in his brain shifting.
“Was that all?” Heimdall asks, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Send me there.” Loki says suddenly, looking over at Heimdall for the first time in all of his many visits. Heimdall looks back in slight shock.
“What do you believe that will accomplish your highness?” He asks, trying to fight Loki on the matter respectfully.
“I need to see my love there, happy. I need to see it for myself.” Loki responds simply. Heimdall glances at him once more, nodding as he knows he’d never be able to talk him out of this idea. He tells him where exactly he’d be able to find you reluctantly.
Heimdall opens the gates wordlessly, sending Loki on the way down to earth. Loki arrives, dusting off his clothes as he uses another spell to make himself appear completely different from usual.
Though he’d only spent a brief period on Midgard, he knew his way around well enough that he could find the address Heimdall had given him fairly quickly, walking through the streets of New York to find it.
“Of course she/he/they would pick New York.” He thought to himself bitterly, winding past other tourists until he reached the building he was looking for. He was about to enter when something caught his eye in the window of a small coffee shop next door. He saw a flash of y/h/c, the exact shade he’d seen so many times and froze, staring on at the source.
And there you were, with men and women and people all around you, chatting, laughing, drinking with them. He saw the warm smile on your face and his heart melted knowing he wasn’t the source of it this time. He couldn’t hear what was being said through the window but he knew it was important from the sole fact that it was making you laugh. He felt tears starting in his eyes, a wave of hurt hitting him again and again inside, drowning him.
But you’re so unaffected,
I really don’t get it
But I guess good for you
He watched, unable to move from his spot, eyes glued to the familiarity of you. He wanted your warm embrace against his cold to the touch skin, your lips on his.
But he felt another wave, one of anger. You’d left that touch, that safety net, for this. For midgardians, mere mortals. How could they possibly offer you more than he could, he wondered.
He took a deep breath, stalking into the coffee shop and getting in line to order, wanting at least one thing to come out of this disaster of a thought to come to where you are.
“No no, my ex... he’s a good guy. We just weren’t really meant to be, I guess? It was... complicated.” He overheard you say, his eyes darting to you. He tries to turn his gaze away, realizing what he’s doing but you look up, your eyes meeting his. For a moment the both of you keep eye contact, Loki too scared to look away and you confused as to why this man you’d never seen has such a familiar stance to him.
You blink a few times, turning back to your group and continuing your chat, making Loki breath a small sigh of relief. He mutters his order to the poor barista, her swooning over him, even in his disguise. Once his order comes up, he storms out, not bothering to look back at you as you start talking about your new job, new apartment, your new life essentially. He frowns at the thought of you being in any place that would be unfamiliar to him, trying to think of how you might feel living without him.
Did you miss him as much as he missed you? Had your comment in the shop been a hint that you were miserable like he was? But he knew that neither of those would possibly be true. Your smile said it all; you were already moving on perfectly fine without him. It was as though you were almost trying to erase your history with him, from his perspective anyway.
Well good for you, I guess you’re getting everything you want
You bought a new car and your career’s really taking off
It’s like we never even happened, baby what the fuck is up with that?
Unable to bear the thoughts multiplying in his mind, Loki ducked into an ally, curling into himself against a wall, starting to cry again.
He groaned in frustration, his head in his hands. You were unraveling him, he wasn’t sure how and he didn’t like how it felt. He’d always been at least somewhat levelheaded but with you gone, his mind was always clouded, his thoughts were infected with you nonstop.
It was like a disease had overcome his entire body and he had no cure, no antibodies to fight it.
“What have I done?” He asks himself, sighing into his hands, staying in his position crouched on the ground for a quiet moment, seeking nothing but a bit of peace.
He’d only wanted to show you he truly loved you but instead he’d driven you away, into a new embrace.
He runs a hand over his jaw, willing himself up. If he couldn’t hear to see you, there was no purpose in him furthering his stay. He decided silently that the best option for him was going back and waiting for Heimdall to open the gates, to get him as far away from your soft features and glowing personality as possible before he did something he’d regret, like approaching you and outing himself as a stalker, not that he really cared anymore. You’d never see him the same as you once had, this much was clear.
Memories of the first I love you came to his mind suddenly.
“I love you Loki, and I know you love me too so stop acting so silly and just say it, please.” You had begged him. He had merely smirked and ran off, telling you you had to catch him to hear it back. You’d chased him around the gardens and the libraries and balconies of the entire palace until you’d caught up, out of breath as you’d grabbed his cloak and pulled him towards you and kept him rooted to his spot until he returned the words.
He’d been hesitant, merely to tease you but he’d said them back, said them multiple times while he had kissed you all over, overjoyed by the sense of protection and love he felt with you.
He shook his head with a bitter laugh to himself at the bittersweet memory, seeing as how things were for you now.
He trudged his way back to the gates opening, kicking a rock aggressively all the way there, trying to contain himself enough to not scream out in anger the way he had been doing in his room. But every time he managed to calm himself, your smiling face found it’s way into his brain, making him lose all feelings not involving anger.
He kept trying to remind himself that it had been your choice, that you’d left him without a goodbye or anything of the sort on purpose to make the wound sting more but it did nothing but make him feel agony for the hurt he’d put you through.
And good for you it’s like you never even met me
Remember when you swore to god I was the only person who ever got you
Well screw that and screw you, you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do
His rage was finally starting to blind him again as he marched to the gates, just how he liked it. The idea of you with another person was still what really set it off. Seeing you hurt but watching you thrive and move on was more, it was worse. It filled him with feelings he’d never thought he’d feel towards you in his life but he was and he didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would.
‘No one leaves a prince. Not unless they are absolutely crazy.’ He thought to himself smugly, waiting at the gates for Heimdall to open them. He gets pulled through, up to Asgard where he dusts off his smooth suit, relieved to finally be out of the disguise he’d chosen.
The smile on your face when he’d seen you with the Midgardians was glued to his brain, his focus flying all over the place at the memory. He couldn’t figure out quite what it was that was making him so agitated himself, knowing he missed you but suppressing the extent of it.
Asgard felt empty, superficial almost without you there to watch everything in such a natural awe that he’d so admired for so long. It was as though all the colours of the home he’d so cherished for so long were drained right down the gates when they’d opened and swallowed you whole.
He couldn’t bear that you’d managed to run off with not only his trust and dignity but his sanity along with it.
Pushing such thoughts to the back of his mind, Loki stormed back to his own room, avoiding yours at all costs as he forced his doors open, slamming them behind him and grabbing anything breakable in sight, tossing it at the balcony doors. If anyone had walked in they would’ve thought he’d truly lost his mind but to him, that much was at least somewhat true.
Maybe I’m too emotional
But your apathy’s like a wound in salt
Your deceit was controlling more of his life, his thoughts, his entire being than he’d ever care to admit. He was consumed with a need for you, a thirst to be near you again and everyone could see it was driving him to the edge of a cliff, the only possible person to pull him back up being the one pushing him to it in the first place. Still, he knew it was all his own doing. That was how he knew part of his latest insanity was due to the built up guilt from so long.
Even so, he was enraged. With you, with himself, with the world. It was a mix of everything.
He could almost feel the gentle touch of your hand to his shoulder when he was upset, your lips pressed sweetly to his temple in attempts to cool him off.
“You can’t hold pointless grudges all your life Loki. You can try but I’m not sure it would be any fun.” You’d teased, making him smile despite his sour mood.
He cried out, throwing another priceless item from his hand, crumbling to the ground yet again. The stress was eating away at him.
Maybe I’m too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all
Thor heard the crashes and smashing coming from his brothers room and went running, pushing open the door with all his strength, his mouth agape as he was met with the sight of his brother screaming in agony.
“Brother, talk to me.” He commands, trying to stop Loki from throwing anything more. Loki thrashes against his brother, sobbing while he yells out, fighting his brother with all his might.
“Loki stop fighting me and tell me what is wrong!” Thor commands and Loki falls to the ground on his knees, exhaustion hitting him like a brick.
“I am fine. Everything is fine.” He murmurs, smiling at his brother easily. Thor shakes his head, not accepting the answer this time.
“Tell me.” He says again and Loki sighs, a hollow laugh choking out of his lips. He removes the spell he’d used, revealing his true self, in pyjamas, his hair an extreme mess, his face sunken in and pale, more so than usual. His eyes were bloodshot beyond belief.
Thor audibly gasped at the sight of his brother covered in his own blood, the shards of the glass having cut into his hands and his feet several times. Loki sinks in against the edge of the bed, looking up at his brother tiredly.
“There. Now you have seen the true me.” He mutters, not saying anything else as his mouth sets in a line.
Well good for you,
You look happy and healthy, not me
If you ever cared to ask
“Loki... I had no idea it was this bad brother.” Thor said quietly, sitting down awkwardly next to his brother on the floor. Loki quickly pushed away, not wanting to face anyone’s pity for even a moment.
“Leave me be brother, I keep this disgustingly weak display hidden for a reason.” Loki growled, avoiding his brothers eyes, staring at the broken glass laying at his feet.
Thor stands, not wanting to ignore Loki’s wishes and leaves him with his thoughts, his brows still furrowed in worry as he shuts the already busted door behind him gently.
Loki runs both of his hands through his mess of hair, squeezing as though to rid himself of the memories locked in place, taunting him on an endless loop.
“You can never get her/him/them back. Never ever.” They seemed to whisper in his mind, the sound of silence in the room only amplifying their nonexistent voices.
He smacked his head harshly, trying to push them out, trying to get back to the quiet while tears rolled down his cheeks, wondering once again why he had ever done anything so cruel to you as he had.
“I am so very sorry my darling.” He whispered into the emptiness softly, hugging his knees to his chest.
Never once had he ever felt so broken down or lonely in his existence, never once had he ever felt so much remorse mixed with anger as he did right then, knowing it was too late to even apologize in the first place. A part of him wondered if you felt anything regarding him at all anymore. A deeper part of him wondered how long it would be til you purposely forgot him entirely, all emotions about him disregarded just like that. And he knew if you did he had to live with the fact that he deserved every moment of it.
Good for you
You’re doing great out there without me, baby
Like a damn sociopath
Ignoring the blood drying on his hands and his feet, Loki went into the bathroom and splashed ice cold water onto his face, trying to get a more level head out of it. While the shiver it gave him did wake him up a bit, his mind was just as clouded, just as distracted.
He groaned, slamming his fists down on the edge of the sink, nearly cracking it with the strength used. Suddenly his room felt too solitary and confining. He put on his facade again, cloaking any form of injury or sadness with his powers. He walked into the gardens, nowhere else to stay away from others while not feeling claustrophobic, though sending him back in time for a mere moment.
“You know Loki, you ought to spend more time out here. These plants are so pretty. And the flowers all smell so good. How could you not just run away from everything in the world and hide out here from it?” You asked. He had chuckled, pulling you along the path and deeper through the enchanting maze of greenery until you had reached the bench.
“My mother took me here as a child. She said it was our place, for our escapes from reality. She told me to only show it to those I truly trusted or were truly enchanted with. You are both of those things to me y/n.” He had told you as he held you in his embrace, carefully picking a flower and handing it off to you, the first gift he’d ever given you.
He smiled slightly at the memory, thinking how ironic and poetic that he was now doing exactly as you had suggested that day and running from his responsibilities. He missed the way even the most mundane of things had been so easy for you to enjoy.
He laid in the grass, ignoring the stinging in his feet and the twinges of pain in his palms from his cuts, taking comfort in the memories he had. Those, he was thankful you couldn’t have taken with you. He felt pathetic. He felt weak and vulnerable and all the things he’d never wanted to feel in his life. And even worse, it was because of the one person he thought he could always count on to protect him from those terrible feelings.
He hummed absentmindedly to himself, feeling much more calm with the fresh air and sounds of nature rather than complete silence. He still didn’t feel quite like himself but he was unsure if he ever would again anyway. At least now he felt somewhat in control of his own mind.
I’ve lost my mind
I’ve spent the night
Crying on the floor of my bathroom
As he watched the sky, Loki thought of you, every mark, scar, line, feature of yours, drawing out your face in his mind, the most memorable moments with you playing like a film sequence. His smile fell a little as this day, his impromptu visit from earlier came to his mind.
Whether he was truly angry at you for leaving wasn’t the question anymore. Not really. The question had more so become whether you’d really loved him at all or if he had fooled himself into believing you did.
He silently decided on the latter, knowing you had too big a heart to ever put anyone through that level of hurt.
Still, he seethed with jealousy thinking of the boy who had been sitting the closest to you in the little coffee shop, the way he had looked at you the same way Loki always had. And it hadn’t seemed to him like you’d been too eager to pull away either, which only made it sting worse.
He closed his eyes in a small show of defeat to no one, knowing you were better off without him around to flip the world upside down for you. Deep, deep down he knew you needed a stability he wasn’t ready to provide yet, though he would never ever admit that to anyone, much less himself.
No, instead he missed holding what was his in his arms, making you feel safe and comfortable like he had for so many years. Anyone’s hands on you other than his made him feel a blind rage even on his best day and right then it was the worst day he’d ever faced, making the anger spread like wildfire through him.
The image stood at a standstill in his brain and he convinced himself that one way or another, he had to get you back to him.
But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it
But I guess good for you
Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily
Tagging: @peachybaes , @wolfish-trickster and @writinguntilmyheartgivesout (thank you guys for the support on White horse, you have no idea how ecstatic they made me, my heart was very happy, I appreciate you, and all my other readers 💖💖)
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