#incorrect irondad quotes

[ironrad]

Morgan crying:

Peter: What’s wrong Maguna?

Morgan: Dad said you’re about to turn 20

Peter confused:

Morgan crying harder: Spiders can ONLY live up to 20 years

Peter: Awe, it’ll be fine. I’m not really a spider.

Peter frantically whispering to Tony: it’ll be fine, right?

Tony shrugging: I’m not a biologist.

Peter sweating profusely:

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[wingitbold]

A Random Rainy Night:

Peter: *Enters completely drenched & shivering*

Tony: Underoos!! *starts screaming & pampering him*

*While making cold chocolate to warm up his little spiderling*

Tony: Why didn't you swing in your suit? It would have saved you from resembling a kicked & drenched puppy.

Peter: *pouts* I am not a puppy

Peter: Also, it’s a million dollar worth suit, Mr. Stark. Couldn't get it wet

Tony: astonished, slackjawed, flabbergasted

Tony: Is my age catching upto me or did you actually took a nose dive into a freaking lake with that suit?

Peter: oh! It was waterproof?!

Tony: Flabbergasted Stark

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[1luna1lovegood1]

Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*

May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?

Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!

Tony, turning on the light: Try again.

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[not-me-underc0ver]

Tony and Peter walking.

Tony: OH MY GOD

Peter panicked: What?!

Tony pointing at something: THERE HE IS! THAT'S THE FUCKIN GUY

Peter: ?

Tony still pointing: That's the fucking guy behind all my problems!

Peter: Tony, you're pointing at your reflection.

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[iamironmanlol]

Tony: Peter can I tell you a secret?

Peter: Of course you can, Mr. Stark!

Tony: Well, there’s this kid I’ve been wanting to adopt lately. He’s got the biggest heart you could ever imagine, he’s a crazy genius, doing his part to make the world a better place, reminds a bit of myself to be honest, but better! And-

Peter: Sounds like you love this kid a lot Mr. Stark! If they’re in need of a parental figure, you should do it! Who is it?

Tony, slamming down adoption papers: It’s you, kid. Sign here.

Peter: :0

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[darkkitty1208]

Tony : Hey kid, I bought Netflix since you've been talking about it lately.

Peter : Oh, thank you Mr. Stark! I'm glad I don't have to share accounts with Ned anymore now.

Tony :

Tony : You wanted an account?

Peter : Yeah, what did you get me?

Tony :

Tony : I bought you Netflix

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[azerishi]

Peter: Mr. Stark, look! I found this really cool cat, but they looked so sad and so I kinda took them with me so they can eat and now I think I've gotten attached and I really want to keep it.

Tony, on the verge of an aneursym: Peter–Peter, that's a fucking panther.

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[bitrashteddy]

October first, New York

Peter: it's gay Christmas season

Clint: do you mean spooky Christmas?

Harley: it's what now?

Tony, without looking up: Halloween

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[bitchy-marvel-dude]

Tony: Are you crying?

Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.

Tony: An allergic reaction to what?

Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!

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[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Tony: Hey, kid. Did you hear that? People are calling me The Invincible Iron Man.

Peter: Yeah, but that's kind of a weird choice, isn't it?

Tony: Why would you think that?

Peter: ... because I can still see you...?

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[ironrad]

Peter: You know nobody is actually enforcing the laws of physics, right?

Tony: I’m sorry?

Peter proceeding to walk up the wall:

Tony:

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[xpeterstarkx]

steve: do you ever wanna talk about your emotions, tony?

tony: no.

peter: i do! :)

steve: i know, peter.

peter: i’m sad. :/

steve: i know, peter.

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[1luna1lovegood1]

Peter: Change is inedible.

Tony: Don't you mean inevitable ?

Peter, spitting out a mouthful of pennies: no I did not

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[not-me-underc0ver]

Peter: "I have to be careful. One wrong move could cost everything."

Tony: "How come I only ever hear that when you're playing with Legos and not when you're faced with a life or death situation?"

Peter: "How come you never mind your business?"

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[theoneandonlyphoenix]

Peter: *after watching sonic movie* i relate to sonic! Because i too am an orphan,live with parent figures who can be in mortal danger cause of how much time i spend with them for I I a superhero and a kid!

Pepper: *sobbing into papers*

Tony,a tired dad: Peter,you want me to call your therapist-

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[darkkitty1208]

Peter : Mr. Stark?

Tony : Yeah, kid?

Peter : I'm.. I'm bah- bise- bahsex-

Tony : Take your time

Peter : *points at MJ and Ned*

Peter : Both

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