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#incorrect irondad quotes
ironrad · 1 year
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Morgan crying:
Peter: What’s wrong Maguna?
Morgan: Dad said you’re about to turn 20
Peter confused:
Morgan crying harder: Spiders can ONLY live up to 20 years
Peter: Awe, it’ll be fine. I’m not really a spider.
Peter frantically whispering to Tony: it’ll be fine, right?
Tony shrugging: I’m not a biologist.
Peter sweating profusely:
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wingitbold · 2 months
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A Random Rainy Night:
Peter: *Enters completely drenched & shivering*
Tony: Underoos!! *starts screaming & pampering him*
*While making cold chocolate to warm up his little spiderling*
Tony: Why didn't you swing in your suit? It would have saved you from resembling a kicked & drenched puppy.
Peter: *pouts* I am not a puppy
Peter: Also, it’s a million dollar worth suit, Mr. Stark. Couldn't get it wet
Tony: astonished, slackjawed, flabbergasted
Tony: Is my age catching upto me or did you actually took a nose dive into a freaking lake with that suit?
Peter: oh! It was waterproof?!
Tony: Flabbergasted Stark
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1luna1lovegood1 · 2 years
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Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*
May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?
Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!
Tony, turning on the light: Try again.
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not-me-underc0ver · 1 year
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Tony and Peter walking.
Tony: OH MY GOD
Peter panicked: What?!
Tony pointing at something: THERE HE IS! THAT'S THE FUCKIN GUY
Peter: ?
Tony still pointing: That's the fucking guy behind all my problems!
Peter: Tony, you're pointing at your reflection.
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iamironmanlol · 7 months
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Tony: Peter can I tell you a secret?
Peter: Of course you can, Mr. Stark!
Tony: Well, there’s this kid I’ve been wanting to adopt lately. He’s got the biggest heart you could ever imagine, he’s a crazy genius, doing his part to make the world a better place, reminds a bit of myself to be honest, but better! And-
Peter: Sounds like you love this kid a lot Mr. Stark! If they’re in need of a parental figure, you should do it! Who is it?
Tony, slamming down adoption papers: It’s you, kid. Sign here.
Peter: :0
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darkkitty1208 · 2 years
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Tony : Hey kid, I bought Netflix since you've been talking about it lately.
Peter : Oh, thank you Mr. Stark! I'm glad I don't have to share accounts with Ned anymore now.
Tony :
Tony : You wanted an account?
Peter : Yeah, what did you get me?
Tony :
Tony : I bought you Netflix
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azerishi · 2 years
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Peter: Mr. Stark, look! I found this really cool cat, but they looked so sad and so I kinda took them with me so they can eat and now I think I've gotten attached and I really want to keep it.
Tony, on the verge of an aneursym: Peter–Peter, that's a fucking panther.
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bitrashteddy · 2 years
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October first, New York
Peter: it's gay Christmas season
Clint: do you mean spooky Christmas?
Harley: it's what now?
Tony, without looking up: Halloween
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bitchy-marvel-dude · 2 years
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Tony: Are you crying?
Harley, sniffling: No, it’s just an allergic reaction.
Tony: An allergic reaction to what?
Harley, sobbing, making grabby hands at Tony: LIFE!
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yes-i-am-happyaspie · 2 years
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Tony: Hey, kid. Did you hear that? People are calling me The Invincible Iron Man.
Peter: Yeah, but that's kind of a weird choice, isn't it?
Tony: Why would you think that?
Peter: ... because I can still see you...?
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ironrad · 1 year
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Peter: You know nobody is actually enforcing the laws of physics, right?
Tony: I’m sorry?
Peter proceeding to walk up the wall:
Tony:
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xpeterstarkx · 11 months
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steve: do you ever wanna talk about your emotions, tony?
tony: no.
peter: i do! :)
steve: i know, peter.
peter: i’m sad. :/
steve: i know, peter.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Peter: Change is inedible.
Tony: Don't you mean inevitable ?
Peter, spitting out a mouthful of pennies: no I did not
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not-me-underc0ver · 11 months
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Peter: "I have to be careful. One wrong move could cost everything."
Tony: "How come I only ever hear that when you're playing with Legos and not when you're faced with a life or death situation?"
Peter: "How come you never mind your business?"
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Peter: *after watching sonic movie* i relate to sonic! Because i too am an orphan,live with parent figures who can be in mortal danger cause of how much time i spend with them for I I a superhero and a kid!
Pepper: *sobbing into papers*
Tony,a tired dad: Peter,you want me to call your therapist-
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darkkitty1208 · 2 years
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Peter : Mr. Stark?
Tony : Yeah, kid?
Peter : I'm.. I'm bah- bise- bahsex-
Tony : Take your time
Peter : *points at MJ and Ned*
Peter : Both
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