Carol: I had a girlfriend once. Sometimes I still hear her voice.
Valkyrie: We’ve been engaged for literally one hour.
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Loki: I’ll have a glass of your finest wine.
Y/N: Loki, this is McDonalds.
Loki: Okay, sorry.
Loki: I’ll have a McWine.
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Y/N: Hey, don’t hurt me! I’m your hottest frien-
Y/N: Wait, nope, that’s Natasha. I’m your nicest-
Y/N: Nope, Steve.
Y/N: I’m your friend!
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Bucky: I have a new hoodie.
Sam: We have a new hoodie.
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Carol: Nat and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Natasha: We what.
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Sam: Hey, how would you like your coffee?
Peter: As dark and bitter as my soul.
Sam: One glass of milk coming up.
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Clint: Why is Wanda on the bathroom floor?
Natasha: She’s drunk.
Natasha: She heard that I was engaged.
Clint: She’s engaged to you though…?
Natasha: Yeah, she forgot.
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Darcy: If being hot were a crime, I’d be serving a life sentence.
Monica: A life sentence? For a crime you didn’t even commit?
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Peter: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Y/N: The speeder takes a screenshot.
Tony: I’ve told you a million times, that is NOT how it works!
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Y/N: I can’t believe I’m single on Valentine’s Day.
Natasha: Well, you know what they say. Roses are red, violets are blue…
Natasha, holding up a bottle: Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
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Y/N: Do you think we should kiss? You know, to break the tension?
Wanda: Damn it, Y/N, we’re in the middle of a mission!
Y/N: That’s not a no.
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Scott: Last year I was miserable and depressed but this year I decided to turn that shit around so now I’m depressed and miserable.
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Natasha: We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.
Wanda: I thought you had Clint over there once.
Natasha: Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.
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Bruce: That’s why great ideas come in the shower.
Tony: For me, it’s usually women.
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Yelena: I’m sure Natasha can’t be good at everything.
Yelena: Maybe she’s bad at kissing.
Y/N: No. She’s good at that too.
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Steve: Uh… so… Bucky, I need to ask you something.
Bucky: Oh finally! You’re proposing!
Steve: What?! How did you know?!
Bucky: You dropped the ring six times during dinner.
Bucky: I even had to pick it up once.
Steve: I was nervous, okay?
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Clint: Come over and say hello.
Natasha: Do I have to? Can’t I just stand here and judge from afar?
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Bucky: This is probably one of the dumbest ideas you’ve ever had.
Sam: So you in?
Bucky: Oh, yeah definitely.
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Scott: Who are you texting?
Y/N: Ahhh! No one. I’m just reading my horoscope.
Scott: Liar. Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day? Everything’s already happened.
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Wanda: Surely you can control five little kids.
Y/N: Can I beat them?
Y/N: Then my hands are tied.
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