I've had my heart stattered
I'm constantly looking for the
at this point
it's just expected
an occupational hazard
i'm cupid's version
of a bright red flag
a girlfriend shaped stop sign
i stand at the edge of a precipice
or a crossroads
i'm a brief pause before the continuation ofyour journey
to your happy ending
a reality check
a reminder to stop and look twice
im the clickbait
a misleading title
that must part
and brak before the sun shines through
i am never bright enough
to shine through and be that mesmerising
not to anyone
you look up at the sky and smile
but noone appreciates the rain
unless it eventually stops
and makes way for the clear sky.
1 note · View note
I think every person has their own filter to see this life
After all, maybe my shades weren't good enough for your lens
4 notes · View notes
Sometimes life could be very hard but you don’t have to be hard on yourself, too! 😌
am I enough for the things I want deeply the most?
4 notes · View notes
I have always been in love with art.
Since young, I was stunned by the brush strokes
that captivated such small things
as the brightness of the eyes,
as the fingertips of the hands,
as every stray hair.
I was captivated by words.
How could someone decipher the emotions I could never comprehend.
How could someone explain
I have always love art because it's something I can't make.
I love it as a viewer.
I love it as a witness.
And maybe because I love art so much
I couldn't love him as much as I should,
because he was not art to me.
He was not.
At least not as much as you.
Because to me,
you are art.
You are love.
And I love you as a witness too.
Art - PoemsbySsb
3 notes · View notes
In life there are two ways that you can live, you can follow others like a sheep. Or you can be unique and follow your own path, I’d rather follow my own path than follow a herd of sad sheep.
4 notes · View notes
An Angelic Prison
a bit of a start this is mostly a plan but let me know what you think. I have this dream, like every night so let me know what you think
Chapter 1: Cassian Black is 21. He’s about to leave for university. As he hugs his mother goodbye he feels a sharp pain in his upper back which knocks him to the ground. He is rushed to the operating room because the doctors and nurses noticed movement in his back and they need to remove whatever it is. They cut 2 incisions in his back and after a few moments, the movement stops. Suddenly two very large angel wings explode out of Cassian’s back. All equipment hits the floor including the doctors and nurses.
Chapter 2: Cassian wakes up in a large round bed with several pillows in it. Next to him on the right, there is a pretty substantial amount of technology on a small wooden side table. And on the left, there is an identical side table with a tube that reaches the ceiling that looks like a dispenser in a drink machine.
“HELLO!” says a very loud enthusiastic voice. “GOODNESS, I’M SORRY MY VOLUME SEEMS TO BE OUT OF WHACK. oNE MOMENT”
Cassian growns. “Good God where the hell am I!? And who the hell are you?! And where the hell are you for that matter” He says in a sleepy and annoyed voice, still coming off of the anesthetic.
“There we go. Ok. Don’t worry winged man, here let me find my introduction card” he clears his voice. “So, My name is Max. It doesn't stand for anything but that’s besides the point. I’m an artificial intelligence. So basically this apartment belongs to the government because we as humans don’t really know what to do with a winged person we are keeping you here.”
“Ok then, i don’t understand. I can’t leave and also why do you keep calling me winged man”
Max explains the rest of the setup to Cassian. Cassian is pretty much ok with everything and is kinda happy he isn't going to school because of how scared he was of being with others. Max also explains where the camera is and how everything in the apartment works. Specifically how to get food or things in the tube left of the bed.
“So, what you do is you get the laptop over there and order something. All the stuff is open,” says Max
Please Marcus is a sweetheart. <3
He is broken but he is caring, full of love, passionate and also naught sometimes. And he is a loveable guy. He deserves the world but unforfunately the world doesn't deserve him.
His best friend was really lucky to have him And I am so fcking sad that they lost each other.
3 notes · View notes
🙂😶 Follow @the_simple_human_being #atdonotpretend • A Challenge by Aesthetic Thoughts! 🌹✨ #aestheticthoughts #yqbaba #collab #yqaestheticthoughts #yqquotes #yourquoteandmine Collaborating with @yq.aestheticthoughts Read my thoughts on @YourQuoteApp #yourquote #quote #stories #qotd #quoteoftheday #wordporn #quotestagram #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #writeaway #thoughts #poetry #instawriters #writersofinstagram #writersofig #writersofindia #igwriters #igwritersclub https://www.instagram.com/p/CNm8CC8MC0D/?igshid=1xhqx0pxk6gzi
We were all high and having a good time. We were okay in that time and in our own space. We were all out of it but them especially. They looked tired and drained. “Are you okay?” We would ask but the same response “I’m fine” they would say. They looked up at the ceiling, at the stars hanging and moving because of the fan. Tired was all I thought of them. Sad was another but I didn’t wanna bother asking why because it would’ve been the same response.
They almost cried that day.
1 note · View note
Somos fragmentos de realidad y de sueños,
donde el mundo es tan solo un campo de juego,
el tiempo se alimenta de buenos recuerdos,
y la vida es un crucigrama aún no resuelto.
Hay pensamientos que ensordecen con su eco,
y silencios que se convierten en tormentos,
a veces aferrarse demasiado a lo incierto,
te hace perder de vista lo que es verdadero.
¿Cuándo nos hicimos tan buenos mintiendo?
Que ahora somos pésimos siendo honestos,
buscar el amor hoy en día es todo un misterio,
encontrar el dolor algo inevitable y certero.
Vemos todo el tiempo retratos sonriendo,
pero no escuchamos cómo lloran por dentro,
lo que para algunas personas es el cielo,
para otras puede ser el infierno más bello.
Dicen que pensar tanto te deja sin aliento,
que las palabras vacías se las lleva el viento,
que las mejores historias no tienen dueño,
y que los versos son fragmentos de sentimientos.
- Roberth Kingsman
Para Blog (siir-poesia)
84 notes · View notes
Baby, can you see?
Baby, can you breathe?
I was meant to see what’s underneath,
But sincerely, I ran out of bliss.
Baby, can’t you see?
My soul is out of air,
Baby, can’t you breathe for me?
2 notes · View notes
Poem by me
Why does no one pray for the devil?
She sits and watches Her world burn.
I was a child once.
A decaying scent follows Her.
She smells like sage, like death, like whiskey.
Even Her breath smells like black cherry water flavoring.
Her hair is dark and straight, rests on Her shoulders.
Her skin is the color of honey, She waits.
She waits in her home. The home.
The sun seems to follow Her around.
Like a blister on Her back.
Like a summer's day when all you can think about is winter.
“Save me!” someone called out.
She went to them.
“Come, rest your head on my shoulder, my love, I will be here for you,” She said.
And they did. And She listened. And She comforted them.
She had a way about Her.
Kind, She liked the blooming flowers.
Kind, She gave food to the poor.
Kind, She waited patiently.
But so evil.
Evil, She listened to your screams.
Evil, She watched you suffer.
Evil, She waited patiently.
They all thought of her as God.
“God,” they said, “God what are you doing here?”
“I am not God, dear, just a friend,” She said.
They thought this preposterous.
Only God would show such kindness.
God has a reason for everything.
“God, why can’t I just be happy,” They said to her, She was braiding their hair.
“Do not call me God!” She snapped one day.
Grabbing them by the shoulders She said,
“God isn’t here.
God never was.
If he was here I shouldn’t be.”
They looked Satan in the eyes, “Why doesn't God listen?”
She let go of their shoulders,
“Because if he did, the world wouldn’t burn.
I did this. It’s my fault, your pain.
I can stop it but I won’t. I can't. I don’t know how.”
The other ten percent.
I am writing this story because no one pays attention to what my sister Emily’s doctor calls the other ten percent the percentage of female children with autism who have violent tendency’s the percentage for male children is five percent in case you were wondering,
My name is Nell im older then my sister by three years I was so excited when she was born I never really made friends so I thought I would have a best friend in a sister, it wasn’t for a few years I realized how wrong I was,
When Emily was four she killed my hamster my parents claimed it was an accident but I knew it wasn’t she laughed when it died in her hands and I had told her to leave it alone it wasn’t until a few times
She almost threw our mother down the stairs at the age of six that it was decided to ask a doctors opinion, when we were referred to a doctor who deals with child behavior we were put on a waiting list and made it to see her by the time she was seven now in that time we all knew something was wrong
But our father said shes just different and to shut up about it he would fly into rages to so it was always easier to just drop the subject then to fight with him about it and risk being hit again.
So we finally made to the doctor who was a nice lady she said its a severe case of autism spectrum disorder which is autism but the spectrum has many other disorders, but the violence was rare only ten percent of girls with autism are violent lucky us, Emily didn’t like being talked about she would throw things
And didn’t let the doctor talk to her so with a prescription for respidol we went home our father then flew into a rage and said she will never be put on medication and as usual our mom didn’t fight him about it, it wasn’t until some time later when Emily turned the stove top on and tried to burn my hand because she wanted it to turn black that our father gave in and let our mother fill out the
Precipitation for the respidol and things calmed down for a few months but she was always violent but so was our father who rarely went to one of Emily’s doctor appointments her doctor suggested once that her violence was learned behavior but our mother of course claimed that could never be the case.
So the years flew by I never had much of a life being in a homeschooling religious violent family will do that do you its wasn’t until our father lost another job due to his temper that things went from bad to worse we then ended up on a paper route that started at two in the morning the hours were exhausting and between our parents yelling and Emily’s melt downs I just couldn’t deal with it and turned to self harm
When I cut myself it was a relief but more then that I could control the pain I was inflicting on myself when everything else in my life was out of control, it wasn’t until one day when our father said to me I really shouldn’t cut up my arms like that
That I realized somthing was happening to me somthing I was blocking I asked him how did he know he just smirked at me and went back to his news paper I had a hard time sleeping after that I tried to stay awake all night and sleep during the day but our mother needed me to help with
Emily and her constant fits of rage that I didint get any sleep during the day so I ended up passing out at night from being exhausted. Then I started to dream more like nightmares of things happining to me at night only they weren’t dreams they were memories as I later learned in therapy,
On a few mornings I woke up with my pants and underwear around my ankles I knew exactly what was happening I told him I was going to tell but he threatened to kill our mother and my dog if I did and I knew he would make good on his word I knew his temper, he told me he would make me do what my mother wont do
And for years he did it wasn’t until I bleed a lot after him raping me and being in so much pain on numerous occasions that I threw him out of the bathroom one night when he wanted to hurt me when all I wanted was a shower.
He was surprised at me fighting back, it wasn’t long until he tried again feeling me up in the kitchen when my mother steeped out of the room for a moment I slapped his hand away then he decided to leave that he couldn’t stand having a family this fucked up we did the papers by ourselves that day
When we came back he and his stuff was gone I then broke the silence and told mom everything I could remember her first reaction was we need to go to the police and he did put they didn’t believe us and told me I asked for it wearing tight clothes around him when I knew what he was…
I don’t know how much was done to my sister by our father I don’t think he did to her what he did to me because of her disorders he never cared much for her I was always the push over.
I thought therapy would help but its just brought up a ton of things I think would have been better off staying buried I remember being raped from the time I was four I remember being beaten I know why I always wanted to die it wasn’t just Emily’s violence that hurt me all those years
I thought when I told on him that things would get better but they never really did our mother has been going through court for years and its taken its toll shes been sick and eventually passed away from heart failure Emily’s violence increased to the point I couldn’t care for her anymore and she now lives in a mental health place that deals with severely handicapped adults
She ended up breaking an orderlys arm and is kept on heavy medication so she barely moves.
I live alone in a dumpy government housing I hate people and have little to do with anyone I thought my life was going to get better I thought we would be ok but I made everything worse by telling on him I should have kept quite and put up with it im in my twenties but I feel hundred I have post traumatic stress disorder and other mental disorders I can barly do anything for myself it probably wont be long before im put away.
there really isn’t anything I can do now ececpt write I must write and maybe I can salvage what's left somehow.
Before I was murdered.
They say most of the time people are hurt or killed by someone they knew , they make it sound like it was that victims fault like they asked to be killed I never really gave anything like that much thought I was a twenty two year old girl in a new city I was just living my life my name is Mia I was murderd by a man on December twelve only a few friends and some family members came to my funeral
My mother had to be lead away. Unlike what most people think I never knew this man who killed me I was just doing my job I was a secretary at a lawyers office, I noticed this man one day he was a client of the lawyer I work for he was angry at his lawer for losing his case he wanted full custody of his kids but he lost his case to his wife his ex wife then moved out of state and he had no idea where they went
When I saw him today he was standing by my car putting a note in the windshield this sent shivers down my spine but I decided to check it out on my lunch break I didn’t see him around any more so I figured it was safe I took the paper from my windshield unfolded it to see that it simply said “ your beautiful” this creeped me out a bit
So I went back inside to tell me boss he said its probably just his was of messing with you he’s mad that he lost his case just ignore him, ok I said I figured I was just making to much of it that I probably wont even see this man again. But I did he came up to me a few days later at work when I was getting in to my car to go home he said hello and I jumped and turnd around
Sorry I didint mean to scare you I just noticed you at your desk and how beautiful you are I thought I would ask you out
Oh I said I dont think so, this seemed to make him angry I saw his eyes turn from brown to almost back this scared me, I honestly dont know what he’s thinking he’s fifty years old I don’t want to date him I didn’t want to date anyone really I liked my job and I liked the freedom of being single.
Cant we just try a cup of coffee? he said in a rather flat tone of voice
No I said a little louder then I ment to I dont date my bosses clients I said oh but im not a client anymore he said to me that dosent matter I said the I said no and I mean it I dont appreciate you sneaking up on me like this please leave me alone well see he said and turned and walked away.
Those words bugged me what does he mean by well see? I was scared by this point so I talked to my boss about it the next day he said he’ll probably leave you alone but if your worried tell the police about him ok I said maybe I’ll do that by lunch break
When lunch break came I thought about going to the police but I didn’t see him around and thought maybe im making to much of this so I let it go and went about my work and life it wasn’t until a week later that I knew this was far from over
When I got home from work I noticed someone had slipped a note under my apartment door it was like the note on my car that day this one simply said you should have said yes I folded it up and put it in my purse and headed back out to the police station.
When I got there I told a woman officer at the front destraction what was going on and she told me to wait and she would have a detective take my statement about twenty minutes later a male officer came and took me to a small room with just a desk and two chairs I sat in one and he in the other and I told him all about this man in his fiftys named Joseph porter and the officer told me that I shouldn’t be worried he’s probably judt mad I said no but will get over it and move on with his life
That’s it? I said annoyed by this point because everyone says probably to me but so far no one has done anything arnt you going to question him or just talk to him or something I can get you his address, that wont be necessary mamm he said he hasent done anything against the law he’s just annoying right, so your telling me my life has to be in danger before you’ll do anything well I wouldn’t put it that way but yes he said
Fine I said im sorry I wasted your time and walked out. When I hot home it wss late and I was tired and angry i dont think im over reacting but aparintly I don’t know anything. I had a shower and sat down on my couch to watch some t.v before bed so I could calm down a little when my phone rang I picked it up and it was just dead air
I hung it up and not even ten minutes later it rang again I read the screen and all it said was caller unknown and again it was just dead air on the other end this happend for two hours safe to say I didn’t sleep that night at all thankfully the next day was saturday so I could just stay in bed when it was almost noon the called started again I picked up the phone this time and yelled leave me the fuck alone to no reply the calles stoped until the next day only when I picked up the phone it was his voice and all he said to me was see you soon
I went back to the police the next day and told the same detective what happend I said isn’t this some kind of harassment? It is agreed the offecer and took all the information I had and agreed to go to his place and talk to him.
Later that night though I woke to a pounding on my door and Joseph yelling on the other side telling me to open it I didint saying anything at first it wasn’t until he startef forcing it open I ran to call nine one one the police showd up in minutes only it felt like hours to me and arrested him the detective told me to get a restraining order
Which I did he was let out of jail by the nect day though and I couldent get the restraining order filed because he didn’t show up at court so the judge just threw the case out.
The phone calls and now thereniting letters went on for weeks everytime I called the police they said theres nothing they can do unless he hurts me or is at my house when he does show up at my door they aresst him but his out the next day I moved changed my phone number I even bought a gun but nothing helps
A few months into this I decided to tell my parents what was going on they were wortied about me being alone anyway and said I could stay with them I declined because he would just find me anyway and I didn’t want my family involved or hurt by him .
I went home the next day but it felt like somthing was wrong there’d was a strange smell like someone else had been there but nothing was out of place until I went to my bedroom when I open the door I was hit by a awful smell and found a dead cat on my bed bed with a note that said your next held to it with a knife stabbed through it
I screamed and ran to my phone crying histaricly trying to call nine one one but the phone was dead so I got out my cell phone and called them they came out in an hour and removed the cat and dusted the place for prints of course they didn’t find any but mine
We have no prove it was him mam the officer said to me what about the note? I said its just a piece of paper with big letters in marker the others were in pen so it doesn’t even really look the same thanks I said sarcastically and closed the door behind him I didn’t sleep at all that night I don’t know what to do I cant focus at work and I keep snapping at people so my boss gave me time off until I figure this out he Sid
I can’t oford to move anymore and he would just find me anyway im going to have to leave the state like his ex did I thought to myself so I called my parents told them everything that had just happend and asked if they would help me of course they said and wired me some money so I could afford to move to a different city and start over the next few weeks the calls keep going but I was almost used to them now
On moving day I couldent wait to leave and be free of him I parked ip everything and headed to my new life when I arrived to my new place I was surprised to see it was smaller then I thought it was from what I advice it online but other then that it was great its only me here anyway when my phone rang I jumped but it was just my mom calling to see if I got there ok
I did I replied and dont worry I will pay you guys back as soon as i can dont worry dear we just want you to be safe thank you for everything I said I love you I love you too my mom said and we hung up. It was then I knew somthing was wrong I smelled that older again that I smelled when he left the dead can with the note in my apartment I dont care what the police said I know it was him.
I turned slowly to see my closet door creak open I felt a scream get caught in my throat and turned to run out of the room I called nine one one white I knowd over a bunch of boxes he was right behind me I told the operated help me its him before he hit me and sent my phone flying to the floor he kept on hiring me no matter how hard I tried to fight him it was like he didint feel it
I told you he said I told you you would be next you really thought I was going to let you get away from me? Why are you doing this I managed to say but he didint reply right away it wasn’t until I saw a knife in his hand he said to me because I want to and because no one can stop me I screamed until I felt the knife go into my body I don’t know how many times.. eventually I didn’t feel it anymore everything went black and I slipped away.
From outside of my body I saw the police show up they arrested him and read him his rights he got charged for only my murder and sentenced to seven years he only served three before he was released he visits a porole officer once a month he still says I deserved it that I deserved to be terrified for months and brutally murderd at the age of twenty two my family is distroyd my parents cant cope and now they dont even get the satisfaction of him in jail he’s free to do it again and most likely will sadly im far from being the only victim.
My name is willow.
My name is willow i’m fourteen years old from a small town in Canada called main spring I’m writing this because I don’t know how much longer I have I was abducted on my way home from school a few days ago I was walking my normal way home when on the next street over I saw something that wasn’t right,
There was a little girl at a van with a huge guy in the door the van it’s self gave it away though big black and ugly I watched this scene for a moment when the man was trying to convince the little girl to come inside using a puppy as bait I yelled HEY the little girl turned around and the man looked I started running across the street to get to her I yelled at her to run but the man had gotten out of the van by that point and came after me he grabbed me by my arm and yanked me forward towards the van,
NO I cried and tried to get away but it was no use he was a lot stronger then me I yelled for help but no one was around people were still getting home from work and school I managed to bite him which really was a bad idea all that got me was punched in the head and that’s when everything went black,
When I woke up I was tide with my hand behind my back and a gag in my mouth I tried to move my feet but I couldn’t I could feel they are tied but I can’t see to what,
I can make out the front though the huge man that abducted me and someone else in the drivers seat. I try to run over what just happened in my mind and then i remembered the little girl I look around me but don’t see her well that’s something at least I hope she’s okay and I hope she can tell someone what happened but she’s so young she would have been easier for them to take for sure
Because they were trying to take her without creating a scene so then I come along.
Suddenly the van comes to a stop and the big guy gets out and opens the sliding door I try to kick but I can’t then he grabs the rope holding my legs unties it from where a seat is supposed to go and drags me across the van floor I try to free myself but it’s no use then the man yells at me to shut up and stop fucking around you got yourself into this mess he says I give one good kick with connected with his shoulder he falls back and but regained his balance quickly and punched me in the face so hard I could taste blood in my mouth and I saw that filmier blackness again but I didn’t pass out with time witch was to bad really.
Both men grabbed me and dragged me inside an old wooden building and down a dark set of stares to a dark and cold basement there are a few other girls here with me we are sex slaves for rich tourists some of these men I think I’ve seen in passing on the streets but who knows anymore.
We are chained to beds for hours a day while men have their way with us, there’s at least twenty-four men a day but I don’t count anymore since I started writing I think it’s been a month since I was taken. we are feed but very little mostly soup I really don’t know how much longer I can live like this I found this notebook under a mattress I sleep on in this basement when i’m not being used one of the girls named Sarah says I better keep it hidden if I get caught with it it will be trouble for all of us. They say they can get to our families, all I ever had was my mom I can’t imagine how terrified she must be right now, if anyone finds this please don’t tell her what happened to me.
I was only four when it started I remember the first hit with the belt the stinging and huge bruises it left behind I used to beg him to stop but that never worked
I tried to be better but I could never be good enough if I was to loud or stayed in the bathroom to long God help me if I defended my mother,
I would be hit for that too, eventually he said he would make me do what my mother won’t do and that’s what he did.
I never told anyone what he did the kids at school hated me as much as he did so eventually I ended up being pulled out of school and being homeschooled
That made everything worse I never went outside at home no one asked about me no one cared my father went to work during the day though so I had some break
But his temper didin’t limit its self to just me and he was fired from every job he had within six months, the last one was one of the worse one yet
he came home yelling and throwing things I tried to hide in the crawl space under the floor but he found me and dragged me out by my hair and beat me until I blacked out
I woke up in the spot he left me coverd in my own blood I managed to get up and found him at the top of the stairs
he smashed a table in the hall when I ran up he looked at me opened his mouth to say something vile when I grabbed a piece of the table leg and shoved in into his gut
then with all my strength I threw him down the stairs I heard the satisfying crack of his neck when he hit the bottom and knew he was dead
I decided to put his body in his car coverd it in beer so it would look like he was drunk and drove off the road then no one would care about him like no one cared about me then I sent it off a bridge into the river
I went home and thought I wounder what it will be like not being beaten almost everyday.
when I went into the bathroom to shower I was horrified when I looked into the mirror to see not only my broken face but the big red letters written in blood Daddy’s Home.
Preaching the self-love bible, the fact that you need to love yourself no matter what anyone says is one thing, applying it to yourself, in your own life, that’s the hard part. It’s easy to tell someone their flaws make them who they are, it’s very hard to accept that your flaws make you who you are. I believe that if I’m going to be preaching something to everyone, I need to act on it in some way or the other myself too. I’m not perfect, no one is, and that is okay. It’s okay to be fat, to have a big nose, crooked teeth, a wonky smile, it’s all okay, and I’ve got all these things, but I’m happy and that’s the only thing that should matter.
I’ve learned through experience that if you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to be happy with who you are. Don’t look at it as smugness or lack of determination, look at it as compassion towards yourself. You’ll never be perfect, you’ll never look a certain way and you’ll never entirely love everything about yourself but that shouldn’t stop you from embracing yourself and loving yourself. All you need to do is, learn to love what you can’t change.
The beautiful thing about accepting your flaws is that it takes away the pressure to impress people or trying to measure up to someone. If you learn to accept your flaws, you will attract people who accept them too. You will find people who don’t make you feel like you need to change who you are. You come across people who appreciate the fact that you’re a little weird, a little eccentric, a little messy and a little bizarre but they love you anyway.
If you learn to accept your flaws instead of picking at them and magnifying them, you will create a healthy environment for yourself, you will begin to nurture yourself in all the right ways, you will become stronger, more resilient and more confident and you will begin to understand that even with your flaws, you’re still beautiful and even with your flaws, you’re still loved.
If you learn to accept your flaws, you learn how to fight your own battles and win every single time. You learn how to shield yourself from unnecessary wars.
3 notes · View notes