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#spilled thoughts
kandutchess · 23 minutes ago
I used to never understand the concept "architect of your own despair/demise" until I got older and realized that life really is what you make it like literally. if all you expect out of life is nothing then you get nothing. not even the life you dream of. if all you think about is the streets then that's all you get even if it's not the life you dream of. happiness is not just out there it's literally created out of blood, sweat, tears and fear. I don't want to go back to that dark place I was in years ago. I might've written some cool poetry but I am not designing my despair anymore I'm designing happiness only from now on. my heart will never be a trash can for despair ever again.
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livrnll · 36 minutes ago
Just one more lonely night,
and I always want something
else than this cold darkness.
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shitpostingisanaesthetic · 50 minutes ago
being depressed about going back to school is like seasonal depression, except it’s more about the fact that I have to interact with people I don’t like, get judged in letters and ultimately befriend people I know I’ll never see after I leave.
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camtrouvaille · an hour ago
And I hope you don’t view me as the one who got a way, because I was never really meant to stay, I was never really yours anyway. I loved you though, so much that it destroyed me. You could’ve asked me to light myself on fire and I would have with a smile and shaking fingers. You could have asked me to stay and I would have, with a smile and tears in my eyes. But you never did though and I am forever thankful for it. Because you could have returned and I would have been far to weak to stop you.
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andrew-kelly · an hour ago
My soul will always remember an ember that became a fire then turned into a phoenix in November
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secretwrlds · 2 hours ago
Sometimes I crave friendship. I crave the feeling of laughing with someone else until our bellies hurt. I crave the feeling of staying until 3am in the morning talking nonsense with someone I trust.I crave the feeling of having someone I can tell all my secrets to. I crave friendship to the point in which I create imaginary friends and speak to them as if they were real. But if I want to have a friend so much, then why do I keep distancing myself from people?
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themeaningofitall · 2 hours ago
I had a good day. Here’s a lighthearted post.
Today I reread Epicurus’ letter to Menoeceus. It was one of the first works of philosophy I read, and it remains one of my favorites. I can credit it with aiding in the formation of some of the most basic beliefs I hold today. The letter is composed of several pieces of timeless advice Epicurus wishes to teach his friend. One of the wisest and most useful of these, is the warning against materialism.
First, it must be understood that all desires can be condensed into three types. These are natural desires, luxuries, and unfulfillable desires. The natural desires are those which are necessary for any living individual to live painlessly. These include food, water, clothing, shelter, and so forth. For it seems virtually impossible that one could ever live painlessly, let alone pleasantly, if one lacks these basic necessities. The second class of wants, luxuries, are similar in nature; they are those which are not strictly needed, but nonetheless can bring about temporary joy and pleasure. These can take the form of fancy foods, expensive clothes, a large home, and any other sort of nonessential extravagance. The last sort are the unfulfillables. They are so called because they have no natural limit to them, and as such, it is impossible to satiate the want for them. These include status, wealth, influence, power, and lust. 
The second point to be understood, is that none of these desires are inherently bad, evil, or harmful. What truly matters is what one deems important or necessary for his well-being and contentment. Pain most often accompanies the failure to achieve what one desires. Thus, Epicurus advises us all to limit our desires simply to what is natural and necessary. This has two great benefits. First, we rid ourselves of any possible pain that might arise as a result of not being able to secure or acquire a luxury or unfulfillable desire. Second, we are able to more greatly enjoy any luxury, for luxuries should be enjoyed, whenever the opportunity to do so presents itself. Luxuries should be enjoyed whenever it is feasible and not worrying to do so, always remembering that life’s contentment is not derived from these things, but that joy is always encouraged. 
And so, he who believes he will be happy once he acquires a certain luxury, position of status, or a greater amount of wealth is a fool, for the desire to acquire more will never cease. Learn to be content with what is natural and necessary, enjoy luxuries whenever possible, and treat unfulfillable desires not as sources of happiness, nor as an evil thing, but simply as an indifference which cannot and should not define one’s life. By attaching happiness to something not yet in one’s possession, happiness is postponed. By attaching happiness to a material good which can be lost as quickly as it can be acquired, happiness is risked.
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keehofilm · 2 hours ago
the feeling of chest-tightening full of love you've created in this small room inside my heart, i hope it lasts forever.
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Lessons you taught me: True love
Thanks to you, I learned first-hand exactly what true love is, what it means, and why it's something we chase so often. Love is confident. Love is understanding. Love is fun. Love is a warm hug on a rainy day. Love is scary, in both good and bad ways. Love is sticking with someone as hellfire rains onto them, choosing to let it scar you both instead of allowing them to endure it on their own. Love is going to McDonald's at midnight because why the hell not, it's the weekend and there's car karaoke that needs butchering. Love is seeing passion and life where others see cracks, and hope where others see hopelessness. Love is feeling comfort at the sound of their voice. Love is lovely. Love is good. And the love I was coaxed into feeling is now my reason for fighting. Thank you for teaching me this.
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the-world-i-have-known · 2 hours ago
Anyone else paradoxically over-confident and really anxious. Like I believe I could learn basically anything and do it well from music, writing, swimming, speaking french or even doing a fucking somersault if I could just get passed all the mental blocks. 
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bristokeswrites · 2 hours ago
Something I’ve Been Thinking About Recently:
TW // mass shootings, racial reckoning, general trauma of the past year
Amidst all of the mass shootings, all of the trauma, all of the social and racial reckonings, all of the darkness that has taken hold of our society over the past year, today it really hit me: these are UNPRECEDENTED times. I mean, I know we all KNOW this on a practical level, but how many of us have truly internalized it? How many of us have truly sat with the reality of the current state of the world and digested it? We are, quite possibly, living through one of the most challenging times in the whole of human history.
I reiterate all of this not to be a downer, but to try and provide a small sliver of hope: you are a SURVIVOR. You have made it through (and continue to make it through, each and every day) circumstances that would’ve been unthinkable a few years ago, circumstances that generations of people never even had to consider, much less navigate through. You are strong and competent and capable, and when this is all said and done, you’ll be even stronger and more brilliant than you would’ve ever believed yourself to be.
I know it’s difficult. I know it can feel like everything around you is falling apart--both outwardly and inwardly. Believe me, I understand. I’ve been to some very dark places during this pandemic, places I was certain I’d never have to confront again. Monsters I’d pushed so far deep into myself, only to watch them reemerge with a vengeance. I get it.
But please, keep going. Keep pushing. Keep holding on. There are pinwheels of light beginning to dot the edges of this tunnel we’ve all been shambling through aimlessly. If you’ve made it this far, it’s for a reason. Your life is full of so much purpose. The world we’re about to re-enter is ours. It belongs to us, those of us who have pushed and fought and bled and cried and persevered, and we can make it into anything we so choose. We get to make the rules, now. We set the new precedents.
Pursue that idea. Write that book. Move to that new place. Take that class. Tell that person you love them. Make that album. Draw The Thing! Don’t hold back! Your passions, creativity, and ideas are so, so valid. They’re needed. If not now, then when? If not you, then who else? We can do anything we want now, because we’ve all been handed a fresh start. We have the opportunity to design the world as we see fit, as it’s always meant to be. Don’t run from your calling. Embrace it. We need you. Please don’t give up.
Always remember: this is not an end. It’s a beginning.
Sending you lots of love, from where I am to wherever you may be ❤️🌻
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shadow-lilith · 3 hours ago
The Snake Pit
finding a warm body
isn't hard to do
I can stay warm at night
with any other fool
but do you feel
the throbbing chest
shortened breath
pupils expanding
welcome death
mouth to mouth
or skin to sweat
the never ending
pleasure threats
do you dream
of your Red Queen
the bitch you lost your bets
or is your mind
all squeaky clean
from the bind in bed with demons
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gemini-verses · 3 hours ago
If Only
Love is found
Death is had by all
If only these two were reversed
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trystmm · 3 hours ago
To be honest, we say we are nobody to judge but we do judge anyway. And I think its a sick truth that the urges and anxiety behind doing that is with fierce intensities. Because all the wrong ones have the whole world begging for their existence while they cheat, lie and stab in the back of their admirers. And what do the good ones get? Is it wrong that we know we are good? Is it wrong to have pure and loyal intentions in todays world or its just the way it works nowadays or was it always like this ? Its really strange and wicked in its own way. I wish I could live my nightmares because reality is scarier and in your dreams you dont feel the hurt. You dont win here, you are pushed. Pushed until you admit you need love and compassion not criticism.
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depressionisms · 3 hours ago
I am learning the things
that can only be taught by the mountains
and the oceans
at their varying heights of authority.
lessons from cracked brick walkways
and what the northerners do not know
about sweet tea.
the tropics burn cool
and the pine straw falls into a bed
and come close,
and sit with me,
and let us write our own history.
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drunk-on-writing · 3 hours ago
night•mar /ˈnītˌmer/ noun definition: to wake up and find out that you are gone.
(cc, 2021)
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magmuni-muni · 3 hours ago
an old friend
sadness is an old friend. sometimes you'll pass by them in the most unexpected places; like in the grocery, aisle 3, where the cereals are located, only for you to find out that they've run out of stock. sometimes you'll meet them at the park, where you spent most of your childhood playing in swing, while you find your life swinging back and forth. you cherished your friendship but hated the bitter aftertaste of your conversation left in your mouth. it was fun, except for the gnawing feeling eating your insides, thawing away your sanity with every bite. you've realized a long time ago, on one of your planetarium date with friends, that your relationship with sadness was a parasitic one. they feed off your soul while you're left with nothing more than emptiness. yet you can't help but simply coexist. they're your constant, thus you can't shrug them off easily. besides, who would turn down an old friend for a nice, little chat?
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