The Guilt Of Silence

So um I wrote something after a long long time (incredibly personal poetry you can stop reading if you're not into that stuff I don't blame you)

There’s something I want to say,

a price I have to pay.

The spiral in my skull,

the days running dull,

The fear furrowing my brows

the guilt of silence, the daily rows.

There’s nowhere to go, my blood’s run cold

Strewing the sins of my old man

Burying the alibi’s of my mam

I want to yell to run to kill

there’s so much more I wanted to be,

Smiles I wanted to see

Mountains I thought I’d conquer

the pride with which I’d prosper.

But here I am, lost, confused and masked

I can’t be anything but a pawn,

Laughing at the tornado

the upturned domino

yelling profanities in vain

Holding my neck, the all-encompassing  strain

Where do I go from here?

There’s a fall no matter in which direction I steer

Running from constant questions choices I shouldn’t have to make

That’s what they’ve done, put my sanity up at stake.

I am nothing more but the echoes of a scream.

I am trying, I really am, but there’s no fighting this ungodly stream.

It’s a swing I am tied to

No matter how hard I push, no matter what I do.

I’ll stay tied to the ground never to fly, never to soar.

The ocean’s bounty, an illusion of a shore.

the one thing that sucks about making mosaics with trophies?

the fact that we're limited to only ten of each, and there's some I LOVE for the mosaics so I have to choose carefully where to put them ;~;

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Of the moment of meeting

20.04.21

Push away your attitude

Never interact with you

As the memory of you

Take me how I am now

Yes you know things but

Never my inner weather

Achtsamkeit

Disclaimer: I'm Liza. I'm here to spread positive vibes on Tumblr. Have a great day! I just want you to know that you are sweet, kind, generous and perfect just the way you are. If I offended you with this unsolicited message or made you uncomfortable. I apologise in advance. I'm certainly not a bot. I don't mean to infringe on your privacy or harass you. Your blog is your safe space and I don't want to ruin it for you. I'm only here to counter the hate on Tumblr. If you know if anyone who wants to receive positive vibes please let me know.

Thank,,,you ._.

Jo Shapcott, Of Mutability

Stuck in between

20.04.21

On loop

Memory hunt

Never forget

With no new

I cannot move

No way forward

wow i need 2 actually remind myself sometimes that like. i have in fact been living w depression and anxiety for a good chunk of my life and while i shouldn’t use that as an excuse to like.. put in 0 effort into Living Life And Doing Things it’s still like a very real barrier and i can give myself some credit for persisting

and you have no idea how many times i cried hoping you'd do something right.. but i got tired. My eyes, mind and heart are exhausted. When will you ever feel my pain? Maybe you just don't care, maybe you never did.

so what’s the point of staying? right?  l.j. april

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i haven’t gotten this zooted since like, forever ago

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Mahatma Gandhi

Todays Scrabble word of the day is: Rife

Dear Life, I am slowly falling in love with you again

Conee Berdera

You give me hope in my times of trial, joy in my saddest hours and love in all I do.

You do not need another heart to make yours beat, despite popular misconception.

Ian S. Thomas

Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.

Susan Cain

A Queen of Her Empire

A trace of sadness on that happy face. That smiling eyes with trace of tears from a hard cry the night before.

"I can manage" she breathes when she had no one to depend on but herself.

"I will do it" confidently she says at the time that she needs a helping hand.

"I can do this" she concluded when no one stood by her during dark times.

She always had her spirits up when she is at the edge of breakdown. She manages to keep up with life's ups and downs. She is strong willed, independent, and driven. But most of all, she is totally unbreakable. She refuses to step back despite the setbacks.

To you, strong beautiful heroine, you are a true queen and an embodiment of your own empire.