Our job on earth isn't to criticize, reject, or judge. Our purpose is to offer a helping hand, compassion, and mercy. We are to do unto others as we hope they would do unto us.

I did adult things(!) today and went grocery shopping for like the first time in 2 months. Been eating out a lot lately and feeling really sluggish so I decided it was time.

Then I cleaned out my pantry while putting groceries away. I am so disappointed in myself- I threw away so much stuff. 😞 I had stuff that had expired in 2018, y'all. 2018! It was so embarrassing and I was so upset that I wasted food. I'm constantly talking (not on this platform) about how its so bad that consumerism produces so much waste but I need to recognize that I'm part of the problem sometimes. I reorganized my shelves and didn't overbuy this time. And I made lists of each meal (because yes I am going to TRY to eat three meals a day) and potential healthier snacks.

^ Here is your sign to clean out your pantry/fridge if you haven't in a while! ^ Just don't beat yourself up like I did. I constantly remind myself to learn from my mistakes and work towards changing/bettering my habits.

His words of harm

Cut deep

So I simply held the bag there

Pushing through the sting

The cold

The numb

The burning blistering skin

I simply counted to ten

And then kept going

As if there were a prize

As I was put down

Verbally abused with lies

With moments from my past

He dug them all up again

Aired out my skeletons

As if he had none of his own.

I am a small vessel

Tossed about

In the oceans rage

I just realized one thing... I don't have a hobbie, I don't have a passion, I don't like anything. I become obssesed with something for like a week, and then I get bored, and stop, find another thing to be obssesed about, or just get stuck for a couple of weeks... I don't like anything, everything becomes boring, simple and mundane.... Why am I living for?? Nothing brings me happiness or pleasure

If someone doesn’t take you seriously until you cry

they do not respect you.

If you’re feeling down it’s ok I love you we love you love you hang in there 💚 mental health awareness month is coming up in may and I want to spread the love and awareness check on your loved ones or ask someone how is their day going it could help

Why is everything and everyone so boring to me??? I can't focus on anything for more then 5mim, and having the desire to sleep, or stare at the ceiling.

Life is too short, do what makes you happy <3

3:06am Sunday, April 11th

Stress

I’m tired.

I want a break.

I need a break.

It’s not like last time.

It’s not tiredness from life.

I’m not suicidal.

It’s tiredness from my own head; my own self.

I don’t want a break in the sense I need people to see I’m struggling and help me.

I’m not hopeless. I’m not depressed.

I need a break in the sense that I need everyone to step away and the world to grow quiet; for my head to alow me silence for a few moments.

I am so very, extremely stressed.

I clench my jaw enough to feel my teeth crack.

I bite my cheek until I taste blood.

I have night-terror after night-terror.

I can’t get to sleep until it’s already morning.

I don’t even feel tired until the sun has already risen.

I am constantly exhausted.

I can’t do this anymore.

I don’t know how much more my body can take.

She said sometimes when people come out of depression their anxiety symptoms bubble up.

An un-dealt with problem finally surfacing.

It never stops.

“Let’s get your Bipolar episodes under control before we worry about treating your depression.”

Next it’s the depression and anxiety package.

Then it’s possible ADHD.

But maybe it’s Autism.

Or maybe both.

But what if I have C-PTSD?

But probably not. Right?

What if my BP is just a mask for Borderline Personality Disorder?

Probably not though.

Right?

Maybe I don’t fucking have any of these.

Maybe I’m just delusional.

But that’s mental illness too.

When does it end?

When do I get to know “Who I am”?

When do I get to know “What I have”?

When do I get to know how to help myself.

Reason to Live #5459

 Because I need to swim in the ocean again. – Guest Submission

(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)

Reminder/PSA:

The saying no one can love you until you learn to love yourself is utter bullshit!

I always had hopes of being a big star. But as you get older, you aim a little lower. Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world. Then you think, you've made a mark on the world if you just get through it, and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the whole world. I think it's better to just enjoy it. Pay your dues, and just enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you.

Dorian Corey, Paris Is Burning (1990)

IT HURTS

We humans want someone supportive and always by our side . Praises our goods and amends our bad . We never want anyone to tear us down by saying awful things or by bullying...

We look up to those humans who are biologically and non biologically closer to us , obviously I won’t name them all . We expect from them that they would say such things that’ll boost up our confidence and morals . What if they tear you down and tore u apart , made u self conscious and awful that you’ll hurt your self eventually in anyway ..

Weight, colour ,height ,marks ,moles and cellulite don’t define u . What actually does is you , your persona , vibe that u give , nature and more over your gesture but unfortunately we live in a society where all of these don’t really matter . What actually matters here in this society are your physical features , you are brutally judged and bullied by others about your looks . Talking about others your own relative will suck u up until u fall onto the PARAMETERS OF SOCIETY which are totally absurd ..

Obesity is one cause which can give rise to many syndromes and diseases . We can help a person with that and can cure them by making support groups and open gyms but pressuring and bullying them and saying that your belly is bulging out of your clothes , you aren’t loveable and misfit because u are fat , OMG IT HURTS SO BAD that anyone could’ve imagine and totally stupid . Lean is not healthy and chubby isn’t unhealthy. There’s a anatomy where ur bones are broad enough that u look big and it’s totally find and pretty amazing. Being big isn’t NOT UNHEALTHY. What unhealthy is ALARMING OBESITY ..

I honestly still remember those days where my appearance mattered the most than my gesture and nature I was judged and commented by some ‘ Brown neck and white face girl’ (I was obese and I had developed Acanthosis nigricans , due to which my neck fold where brown and face color was fair ) it literally made me self conscious that I started covering my neck from even myself because I hated it . In my school years I was misfit from that one popular group because I used to brought lunch and make a side parted braid lol , saying it out loud feels so stupid but trust me it’s relieving.. I didn’t had an eating disorder but I was eating in unhealthy way that would have eventually harmed me so yeah I controlled my weight WHEN I WANTED IT . Honestly listening those awful things killed my self love and me curious about my facial hairs and other IMPERFECTIONS (which actually makes me a different individual) now I realise too late but yes that I’m not perfect I agree but the one who is bullying is perfect , the answer is no . Imperfections makes us beautiful not a Instagram filters they are temporary but u and yourself is forever..

My problem isn’t big enough to be discussed , I really feel sad for those ppl who are judged because of their mental state and their stature and height which they actually can’t change but I know they badly want to because this society and some ppl are so toxic that they even can made you your own enemy , the kind of energy they give off that bad word isn’t enough for them .. I met a girl she was epileptic and I had no idea what epilepsy was back then , I went to her and tap on her shoulder to call her for attendance she started having a mild seizure everyone started laughing and from that day she was bullied by kids , I won’t blame kids to be insensitive but I’ll blame the adults that they don’t tell their kids then when u see something unusual DONT BULLY JUST CALL SOMEONE FOR HELP OR MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.. I didn’t do much for her I was unaware of here condition but I wanna hug and apologise for being so dumb and wasn’t there for her when she needed someone badly , she left the school because of all bully and I hope she’s doing best in her life . She was a brave and beautiful girl ..

Judging, bullying and setting such parameters which are totally unachievable is not fair and totally absurd . If you’re perfectly lean just like vs model than good for u , honestly no one is perfect and that’s kind a beautiful. Everyone is not same , they are in variety and that’s kind a amazing and praise worthy that how God has created such a beautiful variety of humans .