AGGRESSIVE DOV FACTS #16-#25
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #16:
YOU'VE ALL BEEN MOCKING A DEAD GUY FOR ABOUT 100 YEARS. THE TERM, "MANS BEST FRIEND" CAME FROM FREDERICK THE GREAT IN THE 1900S IN A POEM.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #17:
YOU ASSHOLES KEEP CALLING YOUR DOG, "a chUbbY bOY" WHEN YOU FORGET ABOUT THE HEAVIEST DOG BREED IN THE FUCKING WORLD. THE ST. BERNARD CAN BE UP TO 120 KG WHEN FULLY GROWN. BEAT THAT, ASSHOLE.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #18:
THE REASON WHY DOGS CAN MOVE THEIR EARS SO FREELY IS BECAUSE THEY HAVE 18+ MUSCLES IN THEIR EARS. THATS MORE MUSCLES THAN YOU HAVE IN YOURS, HUH AUDREY? SO STOP WONDERING, DUMBASS.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #19:
SURPRISINGLY, A DOG'S LIFESPAN OS LONGER WHEN THEY LIVE IN THE CITY. YES, THIS IS ACTUALLY FUCKING TRUE. ON AVERAGE, CITY DOGS LIVE 3 YEARS LONGER THAN COUNTRY DOGS.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #20:
IF YOU TEACH YOUR BASSET HOUND TO SWIM, HERES SOME ADVICE- FUCKING DONT. YOU CANT TEACH ONE HOW TO SWIM. THEY WILL DROWN, OLIVIA.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #21:
SPEAKING OF YORKSHIRE TERRIERS (LIKE IN MY LAST POST) THEY ARE THE SMALLEST (BREEDED) DOGS (CHIHUAHUAS IN THE NEXT FACT) WEIGHING ONLY 4LBS.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #22:
CHIHUAHUAS ARE THE SMALLEST (NON BREEDED) DOGS IN THE WORLD, ORIGINALLY COMING FROM MEXICO. AND I KNOW YOURE GOING TO START TALKING ABOUT HOW "oH cHIhuAHus aRe mExICan?1?1!" BUT THIS SHIT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #23:
EVEN GEORGE WASHINGTON HAD DOGS. HE HAD 32 DOGS (FOXHOUNDS) TOTAL. THATS MORE DOGS THAN YOU'LL HAVE. PLUS, YOURE NOT FAMOUS OR A HISTORICAL FIGURE.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #24:
PUPPIES ARE BORN NEEDING 90% OF THE DAY SLEEPING, BUT OVER TIME THEY WILL NEED LESS TIME. UNLIKE YOU, A LAZY FUCKING SLOB, HUH BEATRICE? YEAH, THATS RIGHT. GET BACK TO WORK.
AGGRESSIVE DOG FACT #25:
FINALLY, THE LAST FUCKING FACT. SO LETS TALK ABOUT THE BEGINNING OF DOGS. THE REASON WHY DOGS ARE DOMESTICATED AND STILL ARE IS BECAUSE PEOPLE INTERACTED WITH THEM AT MOST 3 MONTHS AFTER THEY WERE BORN. SO, IF YOU WANT A DOMESTICATED DOG, INTERACT WITH IT BEFORE 3 MONTHS PASS AFTER ITS BIRTH.
Attack On Titan Facts #6
1. If Levi were to go to some cosplay thing, he’d just want to go home.
What Additional Characters Would Want To Do:
Mikasa— would go through the con all relaxed completely unphased by any stress around her
Reiner— would cosplay something from Marvel (maybe Captain America) and love it; he’d do photo shoots and everything
Bertholdt— would enjoy the merch and everything but would want to go home soon
Annie— quietly buy all the merch and goes again without being seen
Eren— three days of con, three cosplays. Sees all the shows, buys all the merch, and meets with the group.
Jean— does some closet cosplay and gets mad nobody recognizes him.
Marco— works at the con
Sasha- JAPANESE FOOD AND COSTUMES!
Connie— photographs every cosplayer
Historia— cosplays as Wonder Woman and slays despite her size; makes everyone kneel
Armin— goes to con mostly for the people he can meet there (comic artists and so on)
Hanji— wins the Yu Gi Oh! Contest
Erwin— is super overwhelmed by the nerd culture
Nanaba— couple cosplay with Mike
Mike— couple cosplay with Nanaba; everyone loves them
2. If Levi were to encounter a vacuum cleaner, he’d have a heart attack.
3. If Levi were to see all the fan art of himself (especially the weird ones and shirtless/revealing ones), he’d be pretty grossed out and want them deleted.
4. If Levi ever went to jail, it would be for using force against minors
Additional Characters In Prison/Jail:
Sasha— hunting in prohibited area
Eren— property damage
Annie— murder with a blunt object
Petra— murder with poison
Armin— possession of unregistered and exotic animals
Reiner— indecent behavior
Jean— graffiti in a holy building
5. Levi once laughed shortly, and when someone addressed it, he said he farted
6. Personality wise, Levi’s type is someone calm and rational. Someone similar to him who can still appreciate stuff and is positive.
7. Since Levi is good at cooking, his favorite thing to make is stew.
8. Levi would show affection to his lover by small stuff, like bringing them tea or touching them slightly.
9. Levi can have a top speed of up to 90 km/h (55.923 miles) during spinning while using the 3DMG
10. Levi has a secret talent that he wants hidden from everyone: imitating the scouts.
11. If Levi died, the reactions of the other characters would be:
Mikasa— yell at someone
Bertholdt— would frown
Annie— would be nonchalant
Jean— “We’re screwed.”
Sasha— waits for a Titan to eat her
Connie— “someone save us!”
Historia— chokes on popcorn
Armin: “Oh no...”
Hanji— would be professional and go on doing stuff
12. Levi would have a Nokia 3300, and you apparently can’t get nice ringtones on those
Additional Characters’ Ringtones:
Mikasa— standard ringtone that was preinstalled
Eren— “SEID IHR DAS ESSEN? NEIN, WIR SIND DIE JÄGER!”
Armin— bubble sound or really calm sound
Jean— horse neighing
Marco— My Little Pony opening
Sasha— Woody Woodpecker
Connie— Horror Movie Scream
Reiner— military trumpets
Bertholdt— birds chirping
Annie— Let It Go
Hanji— Godzilla roaring
Erwin— the ringtone your dad has
13. Levi is okay. Physically? Yes. Mentally? No.
14. Levi wouldn’t have any kind of social media.
Additional Characters Would Have:
Mikasa— has all the accounts but never uses any
Reiner— does Grindr count?
Eren— Facebook and Twitter
Jean— Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, and Twitter
Marco— Tumblr and Google Plus
Sasha— Twitter and Snapchat
Connie— Snapchat, Tumblr, and Twitter
Historia— Snapchat, Tumblr, Twitter, or Instagram
Armin— Twitter and Tumblr
Ymir— everything available
Hanji— Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook
Erwin— Twitter and Facebook
Nanaba— Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook
15. The Characters’ Reactions To Long-Haired Levi Would Be:
Armin— crying because Levi still looks manly with long hair
Oluo— would get extensions immediately
Erwin and Hanji— would make the weirdest hairdos for Levi
Petra— would reconsider her crush
Eren— would find it weird, but since he admires Levi so much, he’d have the same haircut in the end
Mikasa— would be raging, because Levi’s hair is silkier than hers; she’d try to then find out what kind of shampoo he uses
16. Starting from the time he was four years old up to the present, Levi considers all of it a bad memory. Almost all of his life is a bad memory.
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