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#my words
thegirlnextdoor477 · 56 minutes ago
It's Never As It Seems
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There was a time where at first view I was drawn to you, and that was scary.
You weren’t anything but ordinary, yet I was captivated.
I thought the feeling would fade but it only got stronger. I was never so sure of someone, but I was of you.
For once, I followed my heart and eventually found out it was mutual.
We had a long time together and not once did my feelings change ; “honeymoon period” never ended. It was a love unlike any other, but like all stories it eventually ended.
Now the breakup was also unlike any other; my heart was shattered and I thought this would be my demise.
But imagine this, it wasn’t.
This isn’t to say that it wasn’t hard or that I didn’t spend nights holding myself because I was crying too hard. It’s saying that I knew I would be okay.
Now was the time to start living for myself, something I’ve only ever heard of in a modern-day fairy tale.
Day by day I got stronger and more confident , I became the girl I once dreamt of.
I was happy and it wasn’t because of anyone else, it was all me.
Now the problem evolves into me being ready to share my life and that terrifies me.
They say you shouldn’t compare your past love to a potential love, but how do you do that?
I expect love to be immediate, intense and with certainty because those are feelings that I know exist.
I continue to put myself out there knowing nothing might come of it.
Then one day I agreed to meet up with someone, having little to no expectation of seeing him again. We hung out and to my surprise I didn’t hate it, you were easy to talk to.
As we continued to hang out, I became shocked at your actions or lack there of.
You did not intrude on my personal space or try to make a “move” on me. You waited until I made it known that I was comfortable.
Not once have I ever seen that.
I was intrigued in getting to know you.
I quickly noticed that when I was talking or looking away from your face, you were staring at me , but it was different, I felt an intense feeling from you but shook it off as nothing.
After some time, I almost became afraid, not because you did anything wrong but because you shown me basic kindness and you did it without being asked.
Your touch was innocent, it wasn’t pressured or forced, it was soft and kind. And when I noticed my behaviour towards you was changing, it scared me.
I stopped pulling away from every touch, I stopped avoiding and I started to lower my walls. I noticed you were different from all men that I have met, perhaps an exception to the rules I have made for myself.
Now the most startling thing happened, I allowed you to hold me all night, you made me feel safe and comfortable. I found myself craving it increasingly.
At one point when you thought I was asleep you leaned over and kissed my forehead ever so lightly to ensure you didn’t wake me up and you pulled the blanket up and continued to cuddle me. You might wonder why this means anything, but the thing is, he did this without having any intentions of being noticed for this act, it was sweet and genuine.
The confident girl I created is slipping away, I’m no longer certain of anything. Now, I said before you shouldn’t compare but is it possible that even if I wasn’t drawn to him immediately, is it possible that it could become everything I’ve ever wanted? Now this isn’t to say that this will be my “happily ever after” but this encounter will have never been a waste. He is the true comparison to what we all deserve from someone.
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beth1516 · 3 hours ago
Next month, next week, or maybe even tomorrow,
I might not feel the same way about my decision,
but right now at this moment,
I think I’m finally ready to say goodbye to you. - Beth
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do you ever wonder what it’s like to be someone’s?
someone’s first call, last text kind of feeling?
someone’s drop everything and sit with you til 2am cause you’re not ok and can’t be alone kind of feeling?
someone’s late night drive through old neighborhoods kind of feeling?
someone’s let it all out in the passenger seat with tears streaming down your face, but it’s ok because they’re there with you kind of feeling?
cause sometimes I do.
and I pray to God I’m not alone on this one.
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themeaningofitall · 3 hours ago
I had a good day. Here’s a lighthearted post.
Today I reread Epicurus’ letter to Menoeceus. It was one of the first works of philosophy I read, and it remains one of my favorites. I can credit it with aiding in the formation of some of the most basic beliefs I hold today. The letter is composed of several pieces of timeless advice Epicurus wishes to teach his friend. One of the wisest and most useful of these, is the warning against materialism.
First, it must be understood that all desires can be condensed into three types. These are natural desires, luxuries, and unfulfillable desires. The natural desires are those which are necessary for any living individual to live painlessly. These include food, water, clothing, shelter, and so forth. For it seems virtually impossible that one could ever live painlessly, let alone pleasantly, if one lacks these basic necessities. The second class of wants, luxuries, are similar in nature; they are those which are not strictly needed, but nonetheless can bring about temporary joy and pleasure. These can take the form of fancy foods, expensive clothes, a large home, and any other sort of nonessential extravagance. The last sort are the unfulfillables. They are so called because they have no natural limit to them, and as such, it is impossible to satiate the want for them. These include status, wealth, influence, power, and lust. 
The second point to be understood, is that none of these desires are inherently bad, evil, or harmful. What truly matters is what one deems important or necessary for his well-being and contentment. Pain most often accompanies the failure to achieve what one desires. Thus, Epicurus advises us all to limit our desires simply to what is natural and necessary. This has two great benefits. First, we rid ourselves of any possible pain that might arise as a result of not being able to secure or acquire a luxury or unfulfillable desire. Second, we are able to more greatly enjoy any luxury, for luxuries should be enjoyed, whenever the opportunity to do so presents itself. Luxuries should be enjoyed whenever it is feasible and not worrying to do so, always remembering that life’s contentment is not derived from these things, but that joy is always encouraged. 
And so, he who believes he will be happy once he acquires a certain luxury, position of status, or a greater amount of wealth is a fool, for the desire to acquire more will never cease. Learn to be content with what is natural and necessary, enjoy luxuries whenever possible, and treat unfulfillable desires not as sources of happiness, nor as an evil thing, but simply as an indifference which cannot and should not define one’s life. By attaching happiness to something not yet in one’s possession, happiness is postponed. By attaching happiness to a material good which can be lost as quickly as it can be acquired, happiness is risked.
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maqadouve · 4 hours ago
I'm a man who fought all his battles and deservedly lost them all.
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That long/first crush
Long nights of bright screens
Talking and talking by tapping
One, two, tree for an F for you
Deleting carefully some messages
To make store for new accounted
Letters of teenage cuteness
Knowing you two streets away
Times change faster than I
Could ask you to tell me
Where you'd want to be
Thirteen years from that day on
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'Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to talk like lovers do'
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rumor-imbris · 6 hours ago
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I love how violently you invade my mind when I try to empty it and rest from all thoughts, like it’s your territory Please, stay Be the king
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my-wandering-rabbit · 6 hours ago
Just let your tears fall, it's not like it's made to go up.
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eclectic--eccentric · 6 hours ago
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Annabelle Laure Marguerite de Vasser is my Assassin’s Creed: Rogue fan character. She has been in development since  2013 as a Black Flag fan character. She eventually was developed to compliment Shay Cormac.
"I will admit, we are not enemies," Annabelle conceded. "I still do not deserve to be comforted by you. I should have done more to get to you in Tomar. I should have just stayed with you." "Yes, you should have. I tried to get you to do that, but you needed your things. I don't blame you, though. You couldn't have expected someone you trusted to shoot you in the back. I know I never expected it."
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bulutlaranlar · 7 hours ago
Hani sesli gülüyorum diye kızıyosunuz ya, eğer bir gün gülmekten vazgeçersem ne kadar uğraşsanız da asla gülmem.
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eclectic--eccentric · 8 hours ago
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Rating: Explicit
Fandom: Assassin’s Creed
Relationship: Shay Cormac / Original Female Character
Warnings: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Dysfunctional Family, Breakup, Angst, Pre-Canon, Hurt No Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, No Happy Ending, Canon Divergence
Wordcount: 22,848
Status: Complete
For Shay Patrick Cormac, the Colonial Brotherhood had become more than an association. They took him in when he lost his father and his oldest friend found him on the street. Few of his brothers and sisters consider him family, but he remains a brash young man, not taking his role as an Assassin serious.
For Annabelle Laure Vasser, family is a luxury. Something you cannot take for granted. As an orphan, she’s grown up in the Parisian Brotherhood of Assassins and learned that she could count upon her brothers and sisters in her time of need.
After she fails a mission in Callao, Peru, Annabelle doubts the way the Council delegates contracts. Contracts that cost the lives of thousands.
But to complete her current mission, Annabelle must rid herself of doubt and Shay Cormac’s affections and embrace her old self. A part of her that died in the Temple beneath the Peruvian ocean.
Read it on AO3.
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sedonawritess · 8 hours ago
I’ve been trying to write my draft at least 30 minutes every day and frankly, I’m really surprised I’ve been able to keep it up & I’ve been proud of what I have been accomplishing. It’s only been 1000+ or so words a day, but honestly that feels really good.
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hornysharkprincess · 9 hours ago
The submissive mood has not ended. And now I'm thinking about how good it would feel to be topped by a submissive. The dynamic suddenly switching from me topping them to them taking control. Flipping me on my stomach and telling me to relax, they'll take over for tonight. Being reduced to tears and begging them to cum.
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Hmmm apa ya judulnya?
Aku tidak tahu harus mengungkapkan nya dimana, jika ku ucapkan langsung di depan mu kamu akan tertawa dan menganggap ku bodoh. Yaaa, kamu tahu? Aku mencintai mu. Sesederhana kamu membuat ku tertawa dengan tingkah gila mu, sesederhana pelukan hangat mu, sesederhana tatapan teduh mu, dan sesederhana setiap sentuhan mu. Ah, tidak. Tidak sesederhana itu bagaimana mungkin itu sederhana jika aku sampai menulis ini tentang mu, haha.
Aku ingin mendeskripsikan dirimu sesuai versi ku, boleh ya? Hanya mungkin suatu saat tulisan ini akan terbaca juga oleh mu.
Kamu itu seperti hangat wedang ronde di kala hujan. Hangat mu menemaniku disaat hari ku sedang tidak baik. Manis mu selalu berhasil membuat ku tersenyum seakan aku wanita terbahagia yang pernah ada. Pedas mu selalu membuat ku jengkel dan ingin mendaratkan telapak tangan ku di lengan kekar mu.
Tawa itu, senyum itu, tangis itu, manja itu, dewasa itu, bahkan desah itu, semua milik ku. Hanya milik ku! Aku egois atas dirimu, hahaha. Tetap seperti ini ya sayang setiap hari aku merindukan segalanya tentang mu, bahkan setiap hari kita bertemu aku tetap merindukan kabar mu. Sampai saatnya tiba kamu memintaku menjadi bagian mu seutuhnya, heiii tanpa kamu minta pun aku selalu bersedia. Aku mencintaimu, sungguh.
Aku bahagia, sangat bahagia, sungguh. Rasanya, aku seperti tersenyum kembali setelah sekian lama. Jika aku bisa mengulang waktu, aku ingin kamu menjadi yang pertama sampai dimana hari kita di pisahkan oleh-Nya.
Yogyakarta, 19 april 2021
To : my beloved enemy
From : si annoying pekok
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