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katethewriter · 2 years

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Welcome to the Team!

from the series New Kid

Summary: After a chance encounter, the Avengers recruit a new kid to join the team.

Words: 3.2k~

Warnings: stealing, Tony is kinda mean, they're all kinda standoffish, they just don't know how to feel about it yet, as always let me know if I need to add

“HEY!” a storekeeper rushes out the front door of his shop, “thief!” He looks both ways down the street before pointing to a child, no older than 12, walking alone down the street, “STOP HER!”

Instantly, the child begins to run, making sure none of the snacks hidden in her jacket pockets slip out. She bobs and weaves through the crowded sidewalk, trying to get to the end of the block as soon as possible. Of course, she had to pick a shop on the longest block in the city today.

Footsteps pick up behind her, and she chances a quick glance over shoulder. A police officer is now quickly following after her. She picks her pace up to a sprint.

Turning back around, she nearly runs into a pedestrian. The near collision makes her stop for a moment, looking up at the tall man with an eye patch.

The footsteps behind her get louder, so she quickly resumes her course. Running as fast as she can to the block end with the officer close behind.

The officer loses sight of the girl as she quickly rounds the corner of the building. He pushes to follow suit. He turns down the new street but stops almost immediately.

This street is far less crowded than the other. Yet amongst the handful of people walking down the block,

…the girl is nowhere to be seen.

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Everyone in the room sits up in their seats, focusing harder on the screen in front of them. They had been called to the conference room for a briefing. A briefing for what, none of them knew… until now.

“Wait, where did the kid go?” Steve asks.

“Are you sure these two camera feeds are synced?” Tony lifts a questioning eye in the director’s direction.

Unimpressed, Fury looks to Maria Hill standing behind with a tablet in her hands. She begins typing on the pad as he speaks, “if you’re done questioning my competence, perhaps you would like to see both angles at the same time.”

The large screen at the front of the room now displays two videos, security camera footage of both blocks on the corner. The two videos play at the same time, and the team watches again.

The footage on the left shows the child wearing a baggy black jacket running from the officer. The exact moment she rounds the corner of the building, the footage on the right shows a woman turning onto the new street. She quickly unzips and removes a black jacket exactly like the child was wearing.

By the time the office has disappeared from one view to appear on the other, the young woman has tied the jacket around her waist leaving her in a bright red t-shirt. She continues down the street at a leisurely stroll and pays no attention to the confused officer behind her.

“That woman is the child,” Natasha concludes for them. Fury nods in response.

Clint sits back in his seat again, “so what is she? An enhanced?”

“A shapeshifter,” Bruce states.

Fury shakes his head, “no, I’ve had some experience with her kind. They’re called Skrulls. Shapeshifting extraterrestrials who at one point attempted to seek refuge on our planet when they were being hunted.” He pulls out a chair and sits casually looking to the team, “Captain Marvel and I helped defeat their enemies. She took them to find a new home planet, seems like one or two may have been left behind or are seeking refuge again.”

“Ok, why haven’t you just brought her in?”

The director sighs, “she’s too slippery.”

“She knows where to shift and the perfect time to do it,” Maria says, “down to the millisecond.” She nods to the screen as evidence of this. “We’ve been following her for a few weeks, and this is the first time we’ve been able to definitively get her on video.”

“She does this often?” Clint asks nodding his head towards the screen. In the video, the girl was being chased for stealing a bag of food from a food truck. “Stealing?”

Fury chuckles, “first time I saw her, she was running after swiping a few snacks from a convenient store.”

“Forgive me,” Tony speaks up, “but isn’t petty theft a little below our pay grade?”

Fury is quick to respond, “She’s only ever stolen food up until now, so-“

“So, she steals to survive.” Wanda interrupts. All eyes turn to her.

Sam tilts his head, “not to mention she is a literal alien. Didn’t you guys fight like a million of them a few years back?”

A silence falls over the room as they all ponder what to do with this otherworldly individual.

Steve is the one to finally speak up, “so we bring her in. If she’s alone or needs help, who better than us?”

After a moment of silence, the rest of the team one by one nodded their heads in agreement.

“Good,” Fury claps his hands together sarcastically, “now that we are all on the same page, let’s get started.”

The team all stands in wait, each in their position. They’ve followed this girl around for hours, just waiting for her to finally enter a store. It’s taken a while, but she finally enters a little burger joint equal distance from both ends of the block.

They sit outside for about 10 minutes, before the door of the shop opens and the girl walks out calmly, but quickly.

“She’s on the move,” Sam reports from the rooftop.

Steve stands from the table he was positioned at and follows the girl down the street, “in pursuit.”

“In position,” Natasha says from where she waits just around the corner.

They’re halfway to the end of the block when the shop doors open again. This time with a worker bursting onto the street. “You have to pay for that!” he yells at the retreating girl. He runs after her, “Stop!”

The child picks up her pace, quickly approaching her turn. She’s completely unaware of the super soldier that is hot on her heels.

She rounds the corner shifting into a woman in her early 20’s. Before she has a chance to remove her jacket as usual, someone quickly links arms with her. She turns to find a red head woman walking casually beside her.

The girl turns behind her to see the worker that was following her has caught up. He turns on the street corner and is looking around for the child. Whatever this red headed stranger wants, she has to play along for now.

The two walk arm and arm down the street. The red head talks, but the girl is not paying attention. She is more worried about the worker that is now asking others on the street if they’ve seen a child matching her previous description.

The girl glances back to see the store worker has given up and walked back to the shop. She sighs and can now turn her attention to the stranger that has just grabbed her arm.

“So, I was thinking you should come out with me tomorrow night,” Natasha smiles and playfully bumps shoulders with the Skrull, “then I can finally introduce you to my friend Steve.”

“Who are you?” She pulls her arm from the redhead’s grasp and steps away, “… and who is Steve?”

“That’d be me,” a blonde man speaks from behind her, “neat trick.”

The girl instantly recognizes him as Captain America, even dressed in street clothes. She turns back to the woman who grabbed her arm and mentally slaps herself. How could she not recognize the Black Widow?

“What do you want with me?” she asks wearily.

“Right now, we just wanna talk,” Natasha reassured her.

Iron Man touches down on the sidewalk beside the group, “uh oh, looks like someone is grounded.”

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“Why don’t we start with your name?” Steve asks after an awkward silence.

They had brought the Skrull with them back to the compound promising they only wanted to talk. They all settled down in the common area. The team is scattered across the room, sitting at the table or on the couch, while the stranger stands unsurely in the middle of the room.

“Y/n,” she says, “Y/n Y/L/n.” A few of them nod, and she waits for their next question.

“So, you’re an alien,” Tony spits out, ever the one for subtlety.

Y/n furrows her brow, “what?”

“What he means is,” a voice comes from the doorway. Nick Fury enters the room. He looks familiar to Y/n, but she can’t seem to place it. “You’re a skrull.”

Confused, Y/n looks between everyone in the room. Most she recognizes. Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, she thinks that’s the guy who shoots the bow and arrows, Wanda Maximoff, and a few others she can’t place.

“What’s a skrull?”

“An alien,” Sam speaks up, “a shapeshifting alien-”

Y/n shakes her head, “I’m not an alien.”

“See that’s funny to me,” Fury tilts his head, “I’ve never met a person who can change shapes like you did on that street, excluding Loki and big guy over there.” He subtly points at Bruce who cringes slightly. “You know who I have met though? Skrulls. And plenty of them. They had a neat little trick like you-“

“I’m not a skrull. I’m just a….” her words trail off as her mind wanders off without her.

Is there even a word to describe what she is? She’s definitely not an alien. Shapeshifting isn’t exactly the correct term either. There’s not a name for what she can do. She’s never talked about it, so she’s never thought of something to call it.

While she pauses, the team glance at each other curiously. “You’re a….?” Tony prompts.

Y/n looks up suddenly, startled out of deep thought.

“A person…” she answers timidly and shrugs, “I’m just a person.”

They all sport unimpressed looks, and it spikes anxiety within her. She has no idea what to do if they don’t believe her. “I’m not Loki. I’m not an alien. I’ve never been to space. I used to live upstate. I’ve never even left New York. I’m not-“

“Ok,” Wanda stops her before her anxious ramble before she can work herself into a panic. The witch can feel the discomfort rolling off the woman not much younger than her, even when she is trying so hard not to. “You’re not an alien.”

“But we’ve seen you as a kid and an adult so…” Natasha crosses her arms, “you’re not just a person. You’re enhanced? A shapeshifter of some kind?”

“Sort of,” Y/n nervously looks around the room, “it’s hard to explain.” In truth, she’s never explained it before, never told anyone about what she can do.

The widow sits up in her chair with a raised eyebrow. She motions her hand towards Steve and Bucky, “those two were born in 1918-“

“I was born in 17,” Bucky corrects, “he was born in 18.”

“Still both older than dirt,” Natasha then tilts her head in Wanda’s direction, “she can read minds because she touched a blue box, that one turns green if someone pisses him off, we have a space-god on speed dial, and even with all of that in our favor, we still keep bow and arrows over here on the team for some reason.” She jokingly smirks at Clint. The widow looks back at Y/n, “try us.”

The young woman shifts on her feet, “I’m not a shapeshifter in the way that you are probably thinking. I can’t turn into whatever I want. I can only shift into myself at younger ages. That’s why you saw me as a kid; it’s all I can do.”

“How old are you really?” Fury asks.

“22,” Y/n responds.

“and back on the street?”

“Still 22,” she fights the urge to roll her eyes. “I looked about 13, but I’m still 22,” she insists. Rapidly, she has to field questions from all directions of the room.

“You can only turn into a kid?” Sam asks, and Y/n nods.

“At any age?” Bruce asks next.

Y/n turns to face his direction, “yes, any age younger than this.”

Steve nods in understanding, “and you can control it? What age you become?”

“It depends-“

“On?” Fury counters.

“A few things,” she elaborates, “its heavily tied to my emotions, so if I’m tired or upset I have less control. It takes practice… kind of. I have to drop regularly to all ages. Its like recharging a battery or recalibrating a device. As long as I’ve dropped like I needed to, I can choose the age.”

“Drop?” Wanda asks softly.

Y/n shrugs, “its just the word I use for when I turn small. How long I spend little affects my chances to grow up back to 22 on command.”

“Do you have a job?” Fury asks.

The abrupt subject change takes her back a moment. Then a blush fills her cheeks at the prospect of having this kind of conversation in front of strangers, “no.”

“Why?”

“It’s hard to keep a job when you spend most of your time as a child.”

The director nods, “do you want one?”

All attention turns to Fury immediately.

“Wait you want her on the team?”

“She’s a kid,” Wanda insists.

Y/n sighs and mumbles, “I’m not a kid.”

No one hears her as they continue their discussion of her and abilities.

“Kids are small,” Bruce reasons, “she could fit in places we can’t.”

“Plus she can disappear in a crowd almost as well as me,” Nat reasons, “she’s already proved that.”

“Does she even know how to fight?” Bucky asks.

They continue on in this way until Y/n has had enough.

“Could you stop talking about me like I’m not right here?!”

The room is silent enough to hear a pin drop. The team of heroes all glance at her apologetically.

Y/n takes a deep breath and decides to break the silence herself this time. “There’s a catch…” her voice is clearly nervous, “…to my powers. Whatever age I drop to, so does my mind.”

“So earlier today,” Clint asks, “you forgot everything that’s happened between now and when you were 13?”

“No,” she sighs and tries to think of a better way to word this. “I still remember everything I know now. I just see it through a child’s lense…….. I told you its hard to explain.”

While the rest of the team is in their heads trying to wrap their minds around this oddly specific and a little bizarre power, Tony has reached his limit.

“So you’re a literal child?” he asks, but he’s not looking for an answer. “Come on guys, we can’t have a child on the team. We shouldn’t even have her in this building-“

Fury interrupts his rant, “that’s not your decision, Stark.”

The billionaire sits up in his seat, “it’s a safety hazard! Besides, this is my building. It was Stark Tower before it was the Avenger Compound.”

“It may be your building, but this is my team,” the director tries to shut him down in a way that Tony knows there is no use in arguing his point further.

But when has Tony ever given up easy?

“We can not have her here,” he insists, “us, every single one of us are way to busy to be babysitting-“

“I can take care of myself.” Once again, everyone’s attention snaps to her, “I’ve been taking care of myself for years. So trust me, I won’t be needing any babysitting.”

“That settles that,” Fury then returns his full attention to the newcomer, “so Y/n, what do you say?”

All eyes turn to her awaiting her response.

She ponders for a moment. It doesn’t take her very long to decide seeing as she doesn’t have that much to go back to. She doesn’t trust her voice, and she definitely doesn’t want to sound unsteady right now. The moment she agrees to join the Avengers. So, she just nods once.

The corner of Fury’s lip tick up into a smirk, “alright then. You’re training starts tomorrow. Someone show her around the compound and to her room. I’ll be in my office if you need me, so don’t need me.”

With that the director stands and exits the common area. Y/n turns her attention back to her new teammates. Yet another awkward silence falls over the group.

“Question,” Sam says eventually, “so you can control the age you drop to right?”

Y/n really doesn’t feel like explaining the whole thing again, so she just nods.

“If I just gave you an age at random, you could drop to it?”

She hasn’t dropped as much as she should have this past week, but it was enough for her to control her drop on the street today. It should still be enough now.

Y/n nods again.

“10,” he challenges.

She looks around and finds the team looking at her expectantly. They want to see exactly what you can do. Their eyes go wide as the woman shrinks and de-ages in front of their eyes. They see her shift from age to age in backwards succession until she settles into a child. It’s like someone hit rewind on her body.

Y/n stands before them as a young version of herself. She’s a little small for 10, but she’s always been smaller than average. Her face is smaller, and her hair is a bit longer. They can easily tell that it is still her, but she’s still looks so different. The only thing that remained exactly the same are her eyes and her clothes. The t-shirt meant for adults hangs loose on her body. Her sweatpants are barely staying on her hips thanks to some good elastic in the waistband, yet they are much much baggier than before.

“Its not exact, if I’m off its usually within a year’s range of the target at most.”

“17,” Tony asks this time.

They watch impressed as she grows, gradually going through each age until she stops at a late teenager. She doesn’t look all that much different than she does at her true age, but she’s clearly younger.

Natasha tilts her head, “what about 13?”

Again, Y/n drops in age, shrinking into a preteen. Its almost a perfect middle between the younger and older ages they just asked her to shift to.

She wonders how many of these they are gonna make her do today, but before anyone can give her another age, there are footsteps approaching from outside the room.

They all look to the door in time to see Peter walk in with his backpack over his shoulder and headphones in his ears. He looks up from his phone and takes in the room. Rare is it that everyone is gathered in one location when he gets back from school. Usually someone is in the gym or the lab or on a mission. Something must be up.

As he scans the room, Peter’s eyes land on the girl wearing clothes way too big for her standing in the middle of the room. His mouth curls into a smile.

“Hey, who’s the new kid?” he asks happily.

Y/n clenches her small jaw. “I’m not a kid,” she says, but no one seems to hear it.

“This is Y/n,” Wanda says, “she’s joining the team. Y/n this is Peter… Spiderman.”

“Oh hey,” the 16 year old’s smile grows impossibly wider, “this is awesome! I’m finally not the youngest person on the team-“

“I’m older than you,” the girl quips.

Peter furrows his brow, “you’re like 12.”

Quickly, Y/n grows up, returning to her true age, “I’m 22.”

The boy’s eyes go wide as he watches the transition, “woah……. That was so cool.”

The team chuckles, throwing amused smirks to each other.

Clint stands and begins to exit the room. He stops by Y/n and pats her shoulder. There’s a playful glint in his eyes.

“Welcome to the team, New Kid.”

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A/N: Now for the fun part! One by one she’s gonna win them all over until she has a new family full of people who would do anything for her. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think! I love to hear from y’all ❤️ -k

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taglist: @battleg03

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#avengers x reader #wandanat x reader #wanda x reader #natasha x reader #avengers x little!reader #wandanat x little!reader #steve rogers #bruce banner #tony stark #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #nick fury #maria hill #peter parker #fem!reader #little!reader #shapeshifter!reader #new kid!

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literaryavenger · 5 months

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I love you and I hate it - part 2

Summary: After your fight with Bucky, you put all your efforts into avoiding him, convinced that your friendship is over. Bucky, however, has other plans.

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. Fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: I promise I didn't mean to make it this long, but I couldn't help myself, again, and I didn't want to end on another 'cliffhanger' so here it is! hope you like it!

Part 1

Masterlist

Bucky can't believe what he just heard... You like him?

No, you used the word ‘love’. You love him.

Do you love him?

Certainly, he would’ve noticed if you did... Right? He is a trained assassin, he was taught how to see beyond people’s words and actions.

And he knows you, you can deny it all you want, but he knows you better than anyone. He knows you better than he knows himself.

And if he’s being honest, you know him better than anyone ever has, Steve included.

You feel safe, you feel calm. You feel like the peace he’s always wanted, the quiet he needs.

You feel like home. In a platonic way, of course.

Right?

His thoughts of you are interrupted by Sharon’s voice. He didn’t even realize he was back at the party.

"Where did you go?" she asks and, suddenly, her grip on his arm was just a little too tight for his liking. But it was probably nothing.

"I went to check if Y/N was okay."

"Oh." something in her voice felt wrong, but Bucky tried to ignore it, that is until what she said next.

"Why would you even care about her? All she does is embarrass you like before. She’s useful to no one, I heard the only reason she’s even on the team is because she slept her way to it." she laughed like it was the funniest thought in the world, and Bucky couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Not only was she saying hurtful, untrue things about his girl, but she has the audacity to laugh at her own cruelty?

"How dare you?" he does his best not to yell, but his tone still startles Sharon. "Y/N is the best agent in all of Shield, that’s why she got in the team! She’s not an embarrassment, she’s a valued member of our family and she’s my best friend! Of course I care about her, she’s the most important person in my life! Don’t ever talk about her that way again."

Sharon seems shocked at his words but, looking around, she realizes people are starting to stare so she tries her best to defuse the situation. "Alright, I’m sorry, I won’t say things like that again. Let’s just calm down and have a nice rest of the evening, ok?"

In his head Bucky knew her request was reasonable, he could forget about this and keep having fun with his girlfriend. But in his heart he just knew he couldn’t let it go.

The words were coming out of his mouth before he can stop them, not that he even wants to.

"You know what, Sharon? This isn’t working. We have to break up." He doesn’t even give her a chance to say anything before he’s turning around and making his way to his room.

Meanwhile, on the roof, Steve’s trying to talk you down the ledge. Metaphorically speaking, obviously.

"He hates me, Steve." you can't stop the tears.

"Stop saying that, sweetheart, he doesn’t hate you."

"You saw what happened at the party, the way he looked at me. And he heard me say that I love him and walked away like it was nothing." You sniffle. "If he didn’t hate me before, this certainly pushed him off the edge."

Steve has nothing to say to that, he knows Bucky doesn't hate you, but he also knows that you’re too stubborn to hear any reason, especially not right now when you're in the eye of the tornado and can't see a way out.

Right now you need a friend and shoulder to cry on, usually Bucky would take on that role, but, given the circumstances, Steve decides to step up and be that friend.

He wraps his arms around your crying body and holds you as you let it all out. Neither of you say anything else, the only sounds in the dark of the night being your sobs, until eventually you calm down and after a few moments of silence Steve glances down to see you fell asleep.

Not wanting to wake you he carefully picks you up and makes his way to the elevator.

When he gets to the floor you both reside in he finds Sam and Natasha chatting at the kitchen counter, probably about to go to bed after coming up from the party.

Sam gives him a confused look, while Nat seems to understand what is going on right away as she moves without saying a word, walking ahead of Steve towards your room.

She opens the door for him and walks in behind, moving the covers back as he lays you on your bed as carefully as he can, and then Nat delicately takes your heels off before covering you with the duvet.

As they’re leaving your room the door opposite yours opens, revealing a hopeful Bucky but when he sees it’s not you, his face becomes stoic once again. He’s about to ask where you are when Natasha beats him to the punch.

"Leave her alone, Barnes. You’ve hurt her enough already." Is all she says before she steps into her own bedroom.

Bucky looks to his best friend for help but, at his confused face, the blonde super soldier just shakes his head in disappointment and walks away without a word.

Bucky stands there for a few minutes, just staring at your door like he's gonna will you to open it and talk to him.

He sighs and goes back to his room where he spends the next few hours overthinking about you and this whole night, eventually falling into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning when you wake up you feel at peace for about 10 seconds before the events of last night hit you like a truck, and all you can feel is humiliation.

How can you face the team after they witnessed your fight with Bucky?

How can you face Steve after he saw you at your most vulnerable and, apparently, carried you to bed after you cried yourself to sleep?

How can you face Bucky after he heard you say you love him and he walked away from you?

You can’t, that’s the answer.

Should you just move out? Just quit the team, ask Hill to be reassigned? Maybe you could even get transferred to another country...

You’re not overreacting, right? This is a very embarrassing situation and you have every right to want to run away from all of it.

As you’re making up an escape plan in your mind you hear a knock on your door, followed by Steve’s voice. "Hey, are you awake? We just want to make sure you're okay…"

You try to be as silent as you can, slowing down your breathing praying he’ll think you’re sleeping.

You can hear him exchange some muffled words with what sounds like Natasha, and then you hear their footsteps as they walk away, so you let out a relieved sigh.

Okay, step one is definitely getting out of this room, it’s just the most obvious place where to look for you.

You get up and out of your awfully classy dress, take a shower being sure to clean away all the makeup from last night and put on the most comfortable sweats you own.

Just as you’re opening the door you can see Bucky opening his about to get out and, in a panic move, you run back inside your room and slam the door shut.

Very subtle, yes.

You rest your back against the door and can hear him sigh and then walk away.

You wait a few minutes, just to be sure, and then relax a little. Your plan was to go to the gym and work out a bit, but now all you can think about is getting the hell out of this compound.

You grab your purse, make sure to have your phone and keys in it and open the door, making sure no one’s around before getting out.

You’re practically running, taking the stairs for good measure, and in a flash you’re at the garage. You jump in your car and drive away as fast as you can without breaking the law, not even knowing where to go.

Once you’re in the city you stop at a cafe for breakfast near your favorite book store, the one you and Bucky have visited together a hundred times.

Okay, stop that. No more thinking about Bucky.

You spend the rest of the day just going from one store to the other, stopping to have lunch at the diner you always go to when you’re in the city, and trying not to kick yourself for not being able to stop thinking about Bucky.

Seriously, why can’t you stop thinking about him?

It doesn’t help the fact that every one of your favorite places has at least a hundred and twelve memories of Bucky.

God, have you ever gone anywhere on your own in the last two years?

The more memories come to mind the more you think that maybe transferring wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Go somewhere new, get a fresh start.

When it starts getting dark you decide to drive back to the compound, but when you park and turn the car off you can’t find it in yourself to get out.

You take out your phone, which you’ve been ignoring all day, and go through all the messages of your worried friends, hating yourself a little more when you catch yourself looking for his name in your notifications.

Just as you’re about to answer Tony’s texts first, you get a call from Steve. You stare at your phone, unsure if you can stomach answering him right now, but your decision is rendered moot when someone taps against your car window.

Your head snaps towards it and you let out a breath of relief when you see Steve standing there, holding his phone and using it to tap on your window again.

You close your eyes for a second but resign to your fate as you gather your things and get out of the car.

When you lock your car you turn to see that Steve moved to be leaning on the trunk of your car, so you join him and wait for him to say something, not knowing what to say yourself.

"So," he starts, with his arm folded in front of his chest and looking at his shoes "you’re avoiding all of us now?" You let out a sigh, feeling bad for hurting his feelings.

"I’m sorry, Steve. I just…" you can’t even look at him as you talk, so you just look ahead of you at all the cars "I’m just embarrassed. After everything that happened last night, I don’t know… God, you even carried me to bed like a child." you cover your face with your hands.

You finally look at him when you hear him chuckling. "That’s what friends do, Y/N. They lean on each other." he bumps your shoulder with his playfully.

"I know we’re not as close as you and Bucky, but I am your friend too. I’m not gonna judge you for last night, I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s what we all want. You made us worry that you might run away on us." He says the last part as a joke, but you can’t help looking away from him.

That’s exactly what you wanted to do.

You bite your lip as he keeps looking at you and you feel like he can see the gears turning in your head, like your thoughts are so loud and your guilt so visible that he knows right away he was right on the money.

"Y/N…" it’s almost a warning, but you still can’t find the courage to look at him. "You were seriously thinking of running away?!" he seems almost shocked.

"Okay, it’s not like I’m a teenager running away in the middle of the night after a fight with her parents!" you finally look at him. "I was just considering… I don’t know, maybe asking for a transfer?"

"So you actually want to leave the team just because you had a fight with Bucky?" He scoffs.

"It’s not just the fight, Steve, he knows I love him and he doesn’t even care!" You yell before sighing and lovering your voice.

"Do you realize how much that hurts? And now I’m supposed to, what? Just go back to how things used to be? Pretend like nothing happened? Even if we’re not friends anymore, he lives across the hall from me! I’m bound to see him and it’s gonna hurt every fucking time!" You’re almost crying, again, but you hold back not wanting to go through that again and you look away.

"I know it hurts, trust me, sweetheart, but… what about us?" you look at him again as he goes on. "We’re your team too. We’re your friends, we’re your family... You can’t just leave us. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but we can help you make it better. We all care about you a lot." It’s honestly a miracle you’re not crying already. You feel him take your hand, but don’t look away from his face.

"Please let us help you." you squeeze his hand and nod, not trusting your voice not to break and the flood to hit as soon as you open your mouth.

He smiles at you and you can’t help but do the same. "Good. Then let’s go up and have dinner like we always do." He starts walking and taking you with him, his hand still in yours.

While you’re waiting for the elevator you can’t hold yourself back as you turn to him and give him a tight hug. "Thank you."

He hugs you back just as tight. "Anytime, rookie." you snort and let go of him, giving him a punch in the arm you’re sure he didn’t even feel as he laughs with you.

When you get to the big kitchen most of the team is already there and you sit down next to Natasha while Steve sits at her other side.

The seat next to you is quickly occupied by Sam as he bings the pizza to the table. He gives you a side hug and squeezes your arm in sympathy but aside from that nobody even mentioned what happened last night, which you're grateful for.

You eat like always, having conversations, laughing and teasing each other like normal, you didn’t feel like anyone was pitying you and you realized Steve was right: these people are your family, you could never leave them.

And, as you watch Loki and Peter trying to make you laugh by messing with Thor’s hair, putting tiny umbrellas in it while he's not looking, you just know they’re gonna help you through everything.

What makes you sad to notice is that one brooding super soldier is missing, though you don’t bring it up for fear of opening that particular door.

And that’s how you spend the next few weeks: avoiding anything and everything that has to do with Bucky, including the man himself.

You start training with Natasha and realize how easy Bucky went on you.

You do more missions with Sam and Steve and realize that missions aren't as fun for everybody as they were for you and Bucky.

You hang out during your down time with pretty much everyone and realize that you couldn’t have as much fun with everyone as you had with Bucky.

So yeah, as much as you could avoid Bucky and talking about him to anybody, he lived rent free in your head.

Fun, huh?

It also didn’t help the look that Steve gave you every time you basically ran out of a room as soon as you caught a glimpse of your former best friend.

Everybody noticed the change in your friendship, but it felt like they all took a silent oath to not mention anything to either of you, and you were glad they were respecting your choice to stay away from Bucky.

He, on the other hand, was going crazy.

He hasn’t seen you in weeks, except for those few seconds before you realize he’s in the same room and run away.

He doesn’t hear your voice unless he’s eavesdropping on you with someone else, but even then he never hears his name come out of your mouth.

Nobody will tell him anything about you, the only thing he can get out of Steve is ‘she’s okay, just give her time’.

He’s been trying his best to give you the space you need, but he feels like he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t hear you say his name soon.

It’s been a month of successfully and not so subtly avoiding Bucky.

There was one time where, as the team about to land for a mission, he got much too close to you for your liking and you thought he was about to say something so you grabbed a parachute and quite literally jumped out the jet, then walked the rest of the way to the Hydra base.

Everyone had to wait for you, some annoyed, but most found the situation too amusing to be bothered by it.

Anyway.

You’re at the gym for an early morning workout, a habit you took to when you started avoiding Bucky.

You know he usually stays up at night. Occasionally because he still gets nightmares, usually because his overthinking mind tortures him until early hours. So he uses mornings to sleep in when he doesn’t have missions.

You’re on the treadmill when you hear the doors of the gym open behind you but think nothing of it, assuming it’s just Steve replacing his morning run with a workout because it’s too hot to run outside.

When you don’t hear him say anything, you’re about to turn your head to see who it is, but before you can do anything you feel two hands, one cold and one hot, on your waist.

You squeal when they pick you up and take you away from the treadmill, setting you down on the ground in front of it before turning off the machine.

"Bucky, what the fuck?! I could’ve gotten hurt!" you were so shocked you didn’t even fully realize you were actually talking to the person you’ve spent so much time and effort avoiding, or that you were walking backwards while Bucky was getting closer to you.

"Oh please, I’d ever let you get hurt." he’s sounds almost amused, like this is a normal thing between you two, but the truth is he’s just happy that you’re actually talking to him.

When your back hits the wall you realize too late that it’s Bucky in front of you and suddenly you’re looking around you to find a way to escape. But all you find is that he’s successfully trapped you between the wall and his body, his hands on the wall at either side of your head.

You swallow hard and if he notices he doesn’t say anything, but your brain is too busy registering the warmth of his body so close to yours to even be ashamed right now.

"Is this the only way I’ll get to talk to you now?" you almost miss his question, your eyes snapping up to meet his and, where you expected to see a smug look at having caught you not only off guard but also ogling, you found a frown and a slight pout.

Something about the hurt on his face stopped you from lying or straight up kicking him so he’d move and you could run away.

No, Bucky was your best friend, you’ve always felt the need to be honest with him ever since that first day, and even now you owe it to him to tell him nothing but the truth.

"I just need time." You hoped he understood.

"How much more time do you need?" Apparently not.

"I don’t know, can’t you just be patient?" You can't believe you really have to ask him this.

"It’s been a month, doll, I think I’ve been plenty patient. Are you planning on avoiding me forever?"

"Not forever… just… I don’t know." If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how long you would’ve kept on avoiding him.

You were so busy doing the actual avoiding that you didn’t take the time to think about when you’d be able to stop.

You let out a sigh, but didn’t look away from his eyes for a second. He needs to know you meant every word you're about to say. "I was hurting, Bucky. I still am. I get that you have a girlfriend-"

"I broke up with her." he interrupts you.

"You… What?" you weren’t expecting that. "When?"

"The night of our fight. I would’ve told you sooner but it was hard to catch you, you know, with you avoiding me and everything."

You almost lost your train of thought, but it didn’t matter that he was single, he was still the first one to walk away, why was it so wrong for you to do it now?

"It doesn’t matter… I know you don’t owe me anything, but you walked away from me. From my feelings." you can see Bucky’s confusion so, before he can say anything, you explain yourself.

"That night on the roof. I know you were there, you heard me say that I loved you and you walked away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. I know you don’t like me like that, and I can live with that in time, but it hurt. It still hurts." you don’t know what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t he says next.

"Do you remember the day we met?" you furrow your brows in confusion but he waits for you to nod before he keeps going. "We’ve never really talked about it, have we? It's ironic since we’ve talked about pretty much every topic we could possibly come up with. But that day, you introduced yourself and I just got up and walked away. Kind of what you’ve been doing this past few weeks." he chuckles a bit and you have the impression he's getting closer to your face, but you're probably just imagining that.

"Yeah, I thought I did something wrong, but you were just a rude bitch." he laughs and you can’t help but smile.

"I’m sorry about that, I just… the second I saw you I felt weird. And when you talked to me it was too much, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what I was feeling and my brain just screamed at me to get out, so I did. Then you came to my door and said all those nice things and that weird feeling started to feel more and more comfortable as you talked. It was nice. Then we became friends and I guess I just dismissed that feeling as friendship. It was a different type of friendship that I’d never had... But then again I’ve never been this close to a woman. Emotionally speaking, of course." His hand comes to cup your cheek and you can’t speak, so he takes the opportunity to say everything he needs to say.

"This month has been hell for me, doll. I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anybody in my entire life. Not being able to spend time with you, joke around, talk to you, barely even see you. It's been driving me insane. Being away from you for so long made me realize what that feeling was. You’re not just my best friend, you’re my person. You’re my calm, and my reason. You’re my happiness, my home. You’re the love of my life."

"What?" you're basically whispering, so quietly you’re sure he wouldn’t have heard you if he didn’t have super hearing.

"I love you too, doll. I love you." he holds your face in his hands "I love you."

You feel like your brain shut down all of a sudden. You barely know how to breathe, let alone talk. All you can do is stare at him, the look he's giving you making you weak in the knees.

"You’re killing me here, doll. For the love of god, say something, angel." The nickname seems to snap you out of it, and there's only one thing in your mind left to ask.

"If you love me, why didn’t you tell me on the roof?" He let out a deep sigh, you can feel his breath on your lips, but you try your hardest to focus on his words and not his lips.

"For one I was still with Sharon. And I didn’t really know what I was feeling. Also, I wasn’t even sure you were serious. Honestly, I was just confused about the whole thing, and still mad about the fight. Nothing good would’ve come from me staying and talking to you that night. I probably would’ve ended up hurting you more." All that makes a lot of sense, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt.

The look in Bucky’s face at the moment though makes you want to forgive him right this second and let this whole thing go. Pretend like the last month didn’t happen.

So that’s what you do.

"What if…" you start, looking back and forth between his eyes and his lips "what if we forget all of this happened?"

"No." he answered so fast and firmly that it made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and disappointment. "I don’t want to forget anything about us, doll. Good or bad, it’s all worth it, as long as it ends with you in my arms."

You're melting and can't hold yourself back, you grab his face and bring his lips down to yours.

He freezes, probably not expecting it, but when you're about to pull away, he holds your face to keep you there, deepening the kiss.

After a few moments you hear someone clear their throat and almost throw Bucky off of you, looking behind him while he turns to see who it is and you see Steve and Sam standing there, amused looks on their faces.

"We were just talking." You blurted out and Sam cracked and almost doubled over with laughter.

"Really?" Steve said while raising an eyebrow, almost exasperated and knowing damn well what you were doing.

"Sure they were, Steve, she was obviously trying to get the word out of his mouth!" Sam said to the blonde, still laughing his ass off.

"Oh, of course she was. Tell us, sweetheart, what did you find in Bucky’s mouth?" Steve was now laughing too, and you were so embarrassed you hid your face in Bucky’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around you, barely glaring at the two laughing idiots. "Ok, just get out of here, punks." Fortunately for once in their lives they decided to actually listen and left, their laughs echoing through the halls.

"You okay there, doll?" Bucky was now chuckling at your embarrassment.

You raised your head and, meeting his eyes, you said "I can’t believe Captain Dumbass is making fun of us for kissing."

He started laughing and you gladly joined him, looking forward to making up for the time you missed with him, unknowingly promising each other to never let go of the other ever again.

taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @spookyparadisesheep @scott-loki-barnes @pattiemac1 @emerald-writes @sapphirebarnes

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damn-stark · 1 year

Text

Chapter 4 This charming man

Tragedy at the Miller’s Chapter 4

A/N- Not ready for what’s coming

Warning- ANGST, talks of death, swearing, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x06 (not all of it)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

Family reunions are supposed to be heartwarming, joyful!

Maybe it was for the first 10 minutes, but now it’s awkward, there’s tension, there’d be deafening silence but the area you’re at is filled with the sound of obnoxious chewing. It’s an annoying sound, a usual pet peeve of yours, but right now, fuck it, it’s the first real meal you’ve had in two years.

“There’s more if you need it,” Maria interjects through the urgency of all the chewing.

“Thank you, ma’am,” your dad says when he finishes chewing. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

You smile up at her with your mouth full of food and nod in agreement. Your uncle Tommy notices and shakes his head in disapproval, but he can’t help but smile faintly.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie cuts in, causing you to slowly swallow your food and look at her with a bit of pity—“this is fuckin’ amazing.”

Your dad shoots her a pointed glare before looking up at the couple in front of him. “Sorry,” he apologizes for her, while you stifle your laugh with the food you shove in your mouth. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

You smirk down at your food, but feel your uncle pat your back. “Don’t worry,” he adds. “Someone tends to have a way with words too.”

You look over at him and respond back with your mouth full of food. “I’m just expressin’ my freedom of speech.” You shoot him a smile and then return to eating, bringing back a bit of silence.

Albeit seconds later the peace is broken by Ellie snapping at someone behind you. “What?!”

You slowly peek behind you and see a girl storming off; you actually recognize her, albeit she was younger then. She liked to help with your sets when you did plays, she’s cool. But yes you understand Ellie’s…caution towards her just staring, but! you don’t get the snappy attitude.

“What’s wrong with you?” You remark Ellie with a pointed look.

“What about her manners?” She counters.

You roll your eyes and catch your uncle's curious gaze at that moment, so you can’t help but smirk faintly now in response—he’ll get hell of a kick out of her, he just needs to get to know her.

“She was just curious,” Maria tries to explain. “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right.” Ellie nods. “Well, maybe I’ll teach them. And I want my gun back.”

Yeah that’s not happening.

“They also aren’t armed,” Maria says.

You set your silverware down and grab your cup of water, whilst your uncle interjects. “You know what? Uh, I think maybe y’all got a little off on the wrong foot.”

“She was gonna have her guys kill us,” Ellie snaps right away.

“Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place,” your uncle explains. “But it’s all bark. We’re just tryna scare off those who might wanna try us is all.”

You sit back and sip your water, only choosing to hear the argument being had.

You wouldn't be as…uhm…bold as Ellie, but you also understand her uneasiness of this place and all those people. You were new once too; afraid of everyone and cautious of everything.

“Well, you got a couple of 90-year-olds shitting themselves out there. Not much of a superstition, is it y/n?” She argues with a pointed glare aimed at you.

What? What the hell did you do?

“Ellie,” your dad warns her.

“They say that you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie remarks to your uncle and Maria again.

Now your uncle glances at you and passes an amused look at you right as Maria answers Ellie just as quickly. “Those are the people that tried us.”

“A bad reputation doesn't mean you’re bad,” your uncle adds.

“Not always, at least,” Maria adds in, and you catch her pointed look aimed at your father; which only makes you begin to frown as things get awkward. At least for you since you know the context behind her judgment.

“Ma’am,” your dad cuts in thereafter. “We’re grateful for your hospitality and all,” he pauses and looks between you, your uncle and Ellie. “But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.”

Oh right, given your silent treatment, you never actually talked much about this place or about your life here to him—that makes things uncomfortable. So you slouch and put your cup down to stare at the water.

“Well, uh,” your uncle interjects as he straightens up on his chair. “Maria is family, actually.”

You glance over at them and offer them a soft smile, but when you glance over at your father and see his face of slight disbelief your smile falters.

Why does he look so shocked? It was going to happen.

“Oh, shit! Congrats.” Ellie adds, but you can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or genuine—probably sarcastic giving she’s not really liking Maria.

“Joel, say congrats,” Ellie whispers to your dad like if he’s some kid that needs a reminder.

A moment of awkward silence passes before your dad says it back a bit dryly. “Congrats.”

Can’t say you’re surprised, he didn’t like Henry at first either.

“She’s the one that helped me get this one through her teenage phase,” your uncle says and pats your shoulder to give it a small squeeze.

You look up at the both of them and smirk before glancing at your dad.

“I can’t say she made it hard,” Maria adds. “She was good…up until she left.”

You scoff and look over at her with a smirk. “Mama,” you whisper. “Besides, I wasn't a teenager then, I was 22.”

“You acted like one,” she rebuttals.

You roll your eyes in a lighthearted manner and shake your head, while your uncle grabs your shoulder and interjects with a lighthearted tone. “How old are you now, Sunny? Old?”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to spat back, but he continues. “You even have gray hair there.” He points to the side of your head.

Your eyes go wide and you pick up your spoon to see your reflection through it, but he begins to snicker.

“Oh wait, it's just dirt.” He laughs.

You scoff and push his arm off you. “At least I can wash mine off, unlike you,” you counter and use your eyes to point to the white hairs on his side.

He snickers and you glance away, catching your dads gaze and slowly frowning as you catch that same hurt look you caught earlier. Your uncle Tommy notices a glimpse of your tension and sighs before breaking it. “How ‘bout a tour?”

Maria nods. “Yeah.”

Once you’re all completely done with your food you step out again. And you're not obligated to tag along, you knew this place already, it was home, but you want to accompany Ellie until she and your dad get some place to go for however long they’re staying—or correction for however long she’s staying, who knows if your dad has changed his mind about letting your uncle take her.

If he doesn’t then….you’ll go with her and your uncle. Even if being surrounded by the tall walls of Jackson made you finally feel completely safe, and let you drop the habit of needing to look over your shoulder every few seconds. Here you also didn’t have to live on the edge hoping that some infected wouldn’t creep up on you, or some fucker wouldn’t jump you out of nowhere. But if it meant being her one piece of support after your fathers abandonment, then it would be worth it being gone for one more month. Just for her, not for your dad.

“We settled here about seven years ago, just a handful of us then,” Maria tells Ellie and your dad. “That section…”

Her words trail off as suddenly you’re startled by an arm thrown around you. And when you snap your head over to your side, Apollo is next to you with a smile on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?” You quip as you fall behind the others doing the tour.

Apollo snickers. “Just checking you’re not some sort of hallucination.”

You roll your eyes and look ahead again. “I’d be a pretty cool hallucination,” you mumble and catch Ellie glancing at you over her shoulder when she doesn’t see you near her.

“Yeah,” Apollo agrees. “Good thing you aren't though.” He moves his other hand toward you to offer you a piece of dry meat. “Jerky?”

“Please,” you scoff and meet his gaze from the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had enough of jerky for now.” You then begin to smirk and hold his gaze as you throw him a reminder. “Aren't you supposed to be working bum?”

Apollo shrugs. “I was, but again, just checking on you, and…” he trails off and holds the piece of jerky in his mouth to reach into his back pocket and pull something out. “…give this to you.”

He pushes his hand towards you to show the Mariah Carey Daydream casette in his hand. “For you,” he says as he pulls out the piece of jerky from his mouth.

Your grin immediately widens and your eyes twinkle as you stop to take it from him. “Oh my god,” you squeal. “Where did you find this?!”

Apollo steps back and folds his arms over his chest to shrug smugly. “I have my ways. But I thought of giving it to you for Christmas when I saw you, but then I thought, why not give it to her now as a welcome home present.”

You meet his gaze with a smirk. “You were thinkin’ of me?” You tease.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He quips lightheartedly.

You shoot him a smirk, and he holds your gaze to mirror the gesture for a lingering moment before you look down at your gift and smile softly. Albeit, you then can’t help but step forward to throw your arms around him.

“Thank you,” you whisper and hold onto him tighter, feeling your heart flutter, and a warmth that wants to mend the bleeding gap that was on it.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers back and rubs your back softly. “I missed you, you know.”

You smile sweetly and try to fight the tears that threaten to rush out at the simple feeling of this embrace. “I missed you too,” you redirect softly, but suddenly begin to feel a twinge of guilt now stab at you as you feel comfort and yearning for him in his embrace.

“Mia is at home,” Apollo says and pulls back to face you. “I haven’t told her yet so it can be a surprise.”

You smirk. “I’ll make her shit her pants.” You snicker.

“I’ll see you at home later, yeah?” He queries in a way that makes it seem like he’s almost afraid you would leave again. “I have a bottle of tequila and a movie of your choice ready for you for later.”

“Can’t wait,” you assure him with a sweet smile playing on your lips.

Apollo begins to walk back and nods as he holds your gaze for a lingering moment before he turns and walks off to go back to work. You now put your gift away and catch back up with your group heading to the barn.

“Who’s that?” Ellie immediately asks once you’re by her side again.

You glance at her and scoff softly before you answer. “My…best friend, Apollo.”

Ellie scoffs and begins to smirk as she turns her head away. “Okay,” she mutters.

You squint your eyes in confusion and immediately press her hint of smugness. “What?” You giggle nervously.

Ellie shrugs before she glances at you and bats her eyelashes as she just simply repeats herself. “Okay.”

Before you can further question her she runs ahead of the group as they’re entering the sheep pen.

“Hey, Joel, check it,” Ellie now directs to your dad, and proceeds to mimic the sheep to tease him. You would’ve laughed but she was just teasing you so you keep quiet and follow them.

“So are you, like, in charge?” Ellie asks Maria.

“No one person’s in charge,” Maria says. “I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving 300 people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, harvesting.”

“Everything you see in our town,” your uncle adds. “Greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership.”

“So, uh,” your dad interjects, making you glance at him. “Communism.”

Your uncle sniffles. “Nah. Nah, it ain’t like that.”

No it is that. Exactly that.

“It is that,” Maria corrects him. “Literally. This is a commune. We’re communists.”

You smirk, and end up sharing an amused look with your dad before you both glance back at your uncle stopped behind you looking a bit baffled.

“No way!” Ellie exclaims, making you drift your attention back to her and noticing her rushing toward a cute brown foal.

“That’s our newest one,” Maria shares. “Couple months old. You wanna pet her?”

You smile and rush towards the foal too.

“Yeah, what’s her name?” Ellie asks.

“Shimmer.”

“Shimmer,” Ellie repeats as she begins to caress the little baby horse. “You’re so beautiful.”

You lean against the gate and scratch the side of her jaw.

“Well, I’m sure they’d like a shower,” Maria adds on, correctly of course. “Some new clothes. We can put Joel and Ellie in the empty house across the street from us.”

You pull your hand away from the horse and peer over your shoulder.

“Yeah,” your uncle agrees. “It’s a decent place. Pretty much untouched since ‘03, but it’s got the heat goin’ in it.” He nods. “Could do worse.”

“Oh,” you add. “We have been.”

Ellie nods in agreement, but your dad quickly rebuttals you. “We’ve been doin’ fine.”

Yeah cause sleeping in caves and taking watches to make sure you won’t get killed is fine. Whatever man.

“Well,” Maria adds a bit awkwardly. “I’ll take Ellie over there if you two wanna catch up?” She suggests as she looks between your dad and uncle, making you look between both men with curiosity.

Only if you could go too just to snoop and know if your dad would go through with it. And to know how it’d actually go between them.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees and passes a look with your uncle. “Okay.”

“Joel,” Ellie whispers with concern.

“You’ll be fine,” he assures her and walks off with your uncle without another word, making her watch him as he did so.

“Come on,” you encourage her and grab her shoulder to gently nudge her ahead towards Maria

Ellie begins to follow, but spares one more glance at your dads retreating figure. Once he’s no longer in view she immediately questions you. “Where are you going?”

“Not far from where you’ll be,” you assure her. “Just down 2 streets, and then a right. I live in a yellow house with a white fence around it. I’ll be there.”

Ellie glances at the ground and frowns deeper, so you nudge her gently and continue to assure her. “You can come over after you’re done showering, if you want. If I don’t answer the door my friend Mia will, just tell her you came to visit me and she’ll show you to my room, yeah?”

Ellie lifts her gaze with unsureness but nods regardless to assure you she comprehends. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Okay.”

Once you see Ellie off you walk to your own house. A place you always hoped you’d return to, a place you longed for on cruel days. Yet when you’re there, past the white fences gate, at the doorstep of your house, it feels…fucking weird. Like some dream. A good dream you were scared to wake up from.

What if opening the front meant waking up? That’d be terrible.

But you can’t know if you stand there, so you let out a deep breath and slowly wrap your hand around the knob. You hesitate for a second and close your eyes to hope it isn’t some dream—fuck. You open your eyes as you turn the knob and slowly push the green creaking door open. And luckily nothing vanishes, nothing comes at you. You walk in and you don’t fall into some dark abyss; it’s warm, it smells like cinnamon and a Christmas morning. All the furniture you can see is the same, Christmas decorations greet you at the entrance bringing the holiday cheer to the house.

When you close the front door behind you and you take your shoes off at the entrance, happy tears fill your eyes, and a wobbly smile spreads on your lips. You’re home! Home!

You laugh softly with relief and feel tears actually rush out of your eyes.

“Who’s home?” You hear a familiar voice ask from the hall.

You wipe the tears off your cheeks and walk towards the hall in a giddy silence as you also hear footsteps approach. Once you make it under the hall's archway you stop at the same time your friend does only mere inches away from her.

You begin to grin brightly, while she stands there with her eyes widened with disbelief.

“Hi, Mia,” you greet her.

Said girl studies you, the dirty outfit you’ve worn for months, she studies your face and looks into your eyes in that stunned silence that paralyzes her. Meanwhile you give her time to grasp your presence and study her too; her hair is still short due to her fear of having it pulled by infected like when she was young, it’s still dyed like last time, and she’s remained ageless.

“Wh-how?” She stammers before she closes the gap left between you with an embrace that almost knocks you back.

“Hey,” you murmur happily.

“Apollo was just here,” she says by your ear. “He didn’t tell me anything.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, he wanted me to surprise you.” You pull back and grab her shoulders. “I've missed you.”

Tears roll down her cheeks, and her smile wobbles. “I missed you too,” she redirects. “So much. I was so worried.” She hugs you again and lets out a relieved sigh as she holds you in her arms.

Along with Apollo and Atlas, Mia was one of your oldest friends too. She was a firefly like them and you, she was also your best friend. You all basically grew up together when you were with the firefly’s, you were all unbreakable.

“Did you just get here?” Mia asks and pulls back to turn you around and lead you away from the hall. “Have you eaten already?”

You nod. “Yes, I ate just a few minutes ago, and yes I just got here….with my dad actually.”

Mia stops, making you stop along with her. “What?” She queries and turns to face you. She looks into your eyes to try and read your emotions, but she instead questions you more. “How are you feeling about that?”

You let out a deep sigh that makes your smile falter, and simply shrug. “I don’t know…besides angry, I don’t know where I’m at, but I guess we’ll see won’t we?”

Mia hums and caresses your shoulder, and smiles a lot softer. “I’m so happy you’re back home. You must want to take a shower, and sleep, so I’ll leave you be.”

Yeah until maybe an hour later where she’ll be checking on you.

“Your room has been untouched so everything is in its place,” she adds, and now walks you around the kitchen to walk you to your room like if you’re new and need a tour. “You’ll just need a towel which are out in the closet, you’ll need blankets, I can get those for you, uh, a razor, new sanitary stuff, I can go…” she continues on but you tune her out as you open the door to your room. And as she walks forward you stop just in front of the doorway.

“….We can bake something later,” you tune Mia back in. “We can make your favorite for dinner, Apollo and Atlas should be home then”

She was right, your room was untouched, every piece of furniture was in its place, every decoration and accessory was left the same way you left it. There wasn’t even dust, and didn’t smell odd, which is probably thanks to Mia; your room actually smells like flowers, oddly enough.

“Yeah,” you agree mindlessly with a nod. “Sounds good.”

Your picture wall was still up and well kept, your posters aren’t ripped, it’s all clean.

“Okay,” Mia says as she turns to walk out of the room. “I’ll leave you now and go get that stuff. Need anything else?”

You follow her leaving figure with your eyes and shake your head. “Nah, but if you are leaving mind leaving the front door unlocked, a girl named Ellie might come over so if you aren’t here and I’m in the shower she can just walk in.”

Mia looks immediately curious over who you mention but she doesn’t probe now, she’ll do it later, you’re sure of it. “Okay, I’ll leave a note then.” She lets you know and grabs your door handle to begin closing it as she walks out. “I missed you.”

You shoot her a sweet smile and quickly counter. “I missed you too.”

She offers you one last smile before she closes the door behind her, letting you turn back to fully take in the fact that you’re now standing back in your room—it’s fucking unbelievble, it fills you with happiness and comfort. And as if it’s your first time you walk to your closet first and pull it open, you run your fingers along all the clothes that are hung up and smile.

If you could describe your room to someone, let’s say Ellie, in a few words it would be Old Hollywood meets vintage old money aesthetic—albeit a post apocalyptic version considering you can’t fully fill your room with all the things you want and need….

Sucks…

Anyhow, you then skip on forward to your brown and gold vintage round vanity mirror, and the first thing you notice that wasn’t on it last time is a bouquet of fresh flowers with a small note.

‘Welcome home - Atlas & Apollo’

You smile and tuck the note back to its place to then swipe your fingers across the counter, making sure not to touch the few perfumes and fragile trinkets you had collected. You then proceed to walk to the corner of the room to brush your fingers along the strings of your guitar as you walk to your shelf with music records, cassettes and movies; it’s all still there and now you can add another to your collection, thanks to Apollo.

After that you then walk to your picture wall to study every single picture with a faint smile. The one that makes you the happiest though is the picture strip of Sarah and you; it’s one you had taken in one of those photobooths. Alas it’s when you see the family picture of Sarah, you, and your dad that the happiness turns to sadness, and that smile falls to a wobbly frown.

What would be of your lives now if she had lived? What would she say about your estrangement with your dad?

Would she be mad at the both of you?

Probably.

You were a little family, you were too young to know if it was anything other than perfect, but it worked…you were happy then….

God you miss her….him too. He’s close, here now in Jackson, but it feels like you're strangers. Strangers forced to be together, forced to travel together. You miss him and your relationship. The man he was wouldn't return, but you’re okay with the man he is now, as flawed as he is you’re okay with him, as tainted as his past is you’re okay with him. But, what you are…are strangers.

——

A deep relaxed exhale leaves your lips as you find comfort on your mattress, in your clean clothes, and refreshed body after a long and deep shower.

Fuck that felt good, it’s like you took decades of dirt off you. It’s like you feel fucking lighter because of it now too. Maybe a week-long sleep would suit you well, maybe you can even hibernate like a bear, that’d be nice.

You smile to yourself and only sit up to put on your headphones, and turn your music on blast now that you don’t have to worry about what’s around you—You’ll go deaf your uncle Tommy and Mia would say, but who cares, it’s fun getting lost in the music.

That’s what you do listening to the cassette Apollo gave you. However, not for long because you then feel a nudge on your leg, and when you sit up there Maria is with a very deep purple jacket in hand.

“Hey,” you greet her as you pull your headphones down to your neck. You then look around for Ellie, but she’s not here. “Where’s Ellie?”

“I left her at the house,” Maria says. “I went to grab her this.” She lifts the jacket in her hand, and you scoff in amusement.

“It’s very purple,” you point out.

“Plum,” she corrects you and sits by you on your bed. “I just came to check on you, make sure you were settling in well.”

You sigh with relief and nod. “Yeah, it feels good being back home and showering, and changing clothes.” You let out a deep exhale and fall back on your bed. “I missed it, never let me leave for that long ever again.”

“I tried that the first time, you fought against logic,” she argues.

You shrug to brush her off. “Let’s call it an existential crisis, yeah?” You snicker.

Maria lets out a long sigh that means nothing good, so you sit up and narrow your gaze on her.

“What?” You immediately question.

Maria glances down and doesn’t hold back. She never did. “How did you end up with the cause of that existential crisis?”

Oh yes, you should've known she wasn’t going to leave it alone.

You blow out air and begin to fiddle with the string of your headphones. “We ran into each other at…KC. We were coming to the same place so we decided to travel together.”

Maria scoffs. “Months on the road and nothing seems mended,” she says. “Did he even try?”

You swallow thickly and shake your head softly. “No, but,” you add and pick at the fluff on your sheets. “It’s not like I tried either…if it wasn’t for that girl I don’t think I would’ve stayed with him.”

There’s a moment of silence before she picks on that. “Who is she?”

No one can know Ellie’s immune, as much as you trust Maria, it’s now up to your dad and Ellie to tell who they want, not you.

“A girl, some important firefly’s daughter he was ordered to deliver,” you lie and look up at her so she wouldn’t find you suspicious. “That’s all I know. He isn’t much for sharin’.”

Maria hums and doesn’t seem to find you suspicious so she moves on. Thankfully.

“Look, you’re an adult, you know what’s right from wrong, but you have too much of a good heart….”

You blink and avert your gaze to sigh.

“I don’t want to see you tormenting yourself any longer because of that man y/n—”

“He’s my dad, mama,” you cut her off with no anger or judgment, you cut her off quietly, sadly. “I can’t….” You pause and draw in a deep breath as you feel the need to cry slowly building up. “I can’t just,” you sigh, “forget him. No matter how much he’s hurt me. I can’t do that to him…or her…she’d be devastated.”

Maria carefully grabs ahold of your hand, making you lift your eyes to meet her soft yet hard gaze.

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Maria adds softly.

You offer her a comprehensive nod.

“Your uncle Tommy and I are always here, we’re here for you no matter what,” she continues and this time begins to caress your cheek. “You don’t need him. If those plants are dead there’s no need to waste water.”

You stiffen and draw in another shaky breath. You don’t add anything in his defense, you can’t come up with anything else to say but what you already put out.

“Whatever happens to that girl,” she adds on in your silence. “You protect her from him—”

Now you have something to say. “He’s not a bad guy,” you cut her off and meet her gaze with a pointed glare. “He’s just…tough because of what he’s lived through. But he’s not a bad guy.” You understand that now.

Maria raises her chin and doesn’t retreat. “He left you, his own daughter, tell me if that makes him good?”

You blink rapidly as you’re cut off guard by her comment.

“I’m just looking out for you,” she further explains herself. “You’re my family, I love you as if you were my own daughter which is why I just want to protect you.” She pulls her hand away and stands up. “And that girl doesn’t deserve to have her heartbroken by him.”

Maria then waits if you’d say something, but there was nothing you could add anymore, so you let her leave.

“I’m taking Ellie to the movies, enjoy the night with your friends, okay? And at night if it’s hard to sleep, the door will be open, you can sleep in your old room.” She offers.

You break your eyes from the bed to look at her in front of you and nod slowly. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“If you don’t come tonight then come over for breakfast tomorrow, I can make pancakes.”

“Okay sounds good I’ll be there.” You assure her and offer her a very faint smile.

Maria walks to the door and lingers there for a moment before she walks out and closes the door behind you, letting you then throw yourself back to contemplate what was just discussed. She’s right about Ellie, but maybe he deserves time to explain himself to you, even after you said you’d be done with him. He deserves one more chance, if he doesn’t want to try and heal what’s broken then…you’ll stay true to your word and be done with him, for good…

You sigh and slide your headphones back on before flipping around on the bed to attempt and get lost in the music again.

However, now! Now…agony and grief slams back into you just as you were doing good today not thinking about Henry and Sam. All because of the stuffed giraffe on your bed that reminds you of them.

It happens all the time, one minute you think that you’ll get over it, that you’ll heal past that grief and let them be beautiful memories, but it hits you like a ferocious wave. And it’s hard to swim up when it does, you’re slowly drowning each time, sinking deeper and deeper. Not only that but looking at your dad everyday doesn’t make it any easier, there’s just more force that pushes you further down.

Funny and unexpected enough though, it’s been Ellie who has been such a….relief, a breath of fresh air, that ounce of hope that helps you get over the surface. Without her honestly it would’ve been hard getting back home.

Still…as of now it’s taking you again, that damned wave, so you take your headphones off and leave your music on the bed to instead grab the stuffed giraffe and walk outside to your backyard.

The precious meadow that you had grown is under a blanket of snow, much like everything else outside, so you can’t find a bit of bliss there. However, there is something new outside connected to the small white fence that surrounds the cement patio, a wooden bench swing with a canopy and all, hm.

It’s smooth, sturdy, and nice. Now you don’t have to get your ass wet on the snow. Maybe your uncle Tommy built it? Or maybe Mia’s boyfriend built it for her, he thinks himself a carpenter.

Whatever the case, you sit down and just ponder in the silence, watching the stuffed giraffe in your hands and thinking about them; about Henry most of all. You let time pass even as you begin to get cold, and don’t really come back to reality until you hear the backdoor close behind you.

When you sit up and look back you see your uncle Tommy walking to you.

You put the stuffed giraffe down and then beam at him. “Hey!” You greet him.

He offers you a sweet smile and pushes the gate open to walk over to you. “Hey, Sunny,” he greets back. “I’m sorry I let myself in, there was a note on the door.”

You shake your head and pat the open space by you. “Don’t worry about it,” you assure him and watch him study the bench with a smirk.

“Apollo built this for you, did you know?”

You blink in surprise and shake your head as your heart begins to flutter. “No, I didn’t.”

He hums and takes his seat, but rubs the armrests. “Yeah, he said that it’d be a good touch so you wouldn’t have to lay on the grass all the time. Or if you didn’t make it back home then it’d be hell of a memorial...it wasn’t really funny then,” he laughs softly. “But it is now.” He clasps his hands on his lap and glances at the stuffed giraffe before meeting your gaze. “He’s always had a sweet spot for you. He’s a good guy.”

You slowly grin and drop your head to nod. “I know.”

Is he implying something?

“Did you talk to my dad?” You probe and glance up at him. “You guys catch up?”

Your uncle lets out a deep sigh and nods stiffly. “Something like that. We…sorta got into an argument.”

You click your tongue and nod slowly in comprehension. “Sorta?” You probe.

“It wasn’t big but you know how he is.”

You nod. “Yeah,” you sigh.

Your uncle notices the frown and the sadness return in your eyes, so he presses you. “You, have you talked to him?”

You look on ahead at the snow covered meadow and shrug. “Sorta. We talked when we first reunited in KC, but after….after I just got mad at him all over again. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Is that what has you all down?” He asks and hits you right where it hurts. He knows you too well.

Your eyes sting and your throat begins to feel all clumped up with all the emotions that rapidly build up, but you hold it back as best as you can and try to assure him. And yourself. “I..I don’t want to ruin today.” You offer him a strained smile. “We can talk about it some other day.”

Your uncle shifts in his seat to face you better and doesn’t brush it off. “I cleared up my whole day today for your dad, and for you. I have time to talk. Talk to me.”

He was never one to shy away from an emotional conversation, not with you anyway. Not like your dad. Your uncle Tommy was good that way, open and understanding. Not closed off and dismissive. You owe who you became through all the tragedy to him. It’s sad to admit but if you had been completely raised by your father you would have turned out like him perhaps.

Yet it’s quite hard saying what comes to mind. You part your lips to try and speak, but all you can muster is a shaky breath as you clutch onto the stuffed giraffe.

Your uncle doesn’t press you, he waits until you can finally mutter out.

“Can you tell me…” you pause briefly and glance down at your hands. “If somethings wrong….with me?” You ask in a quivering voice and slowly look up at him, catching his confusion and disbelief.

“My dad left rather than staying with me….and,” you continue through tears. “…the guy that I…loved killed himself rather than wanting to be with me. And I know it sounds selfish, h-he was just grief stricken, his little brother died….but we were partners…and,” you sniffle. “And he left me. So please be honest with me, tell me that I’m no good, that I’m a failure because that’s what I feel.”

Your uncle Tommy lets out a shaky sigh and immediately grabs your face to wipe away your tears and comfort you. “There is nothing wrong with you, baby, nothing. That guy…seems like he couldn’t handle what he felt, it happens, but you had nothing to do with it. And your dad,” he exhales and caresses your cheek. “Your dad did what he thought was best because he loves you. Losing your sister took a lot from him, but that doesn’t mean that somethings wrong with you, he loves you, and leaving was his way of showing it.” He says try and comfort you, and then pulls you in for an embrace, but you only sob more in the comfort of his arms.

You can hardly breathe, your chest feels heavy, your mind is racing, and your heart feels like it was going to jump out of you. Now you couldn’t hold anything back.

“I couldn't help him, he got bit and I couldn’t help. I couldn’t save Henry either, I should’ve just snatched the gun from him but I froze, and I couldn’t help him…just like I couldn’t help Sarah…” you spill out now through sobs.

Your uncle pulls back and grabs your shoulders to keep you close so you’d listen to what he had to redirect. “Sarah was not your fault, you understand that? There was nothing none of us could have done, especially not you, you were only 4. You understand?”

You keep your eyes averted and nod. But that isn’t enough for him.

“Look at me y/n,” he orders, causing you to slowly raise your eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. And I know I don’t know those people you knew, but one thing I am sure about is that it isn’t your fault what happened to them.” He wipes more tears off your cheeks and leans in closer so you’d listen intently. “You cry as much as you want, grieve as long as you need to, but you move on, you keep living for them. You understand? Don’t lose yourself, that’s the worst thing we can do. You understand me?”

You nod through heavy tears and get pulled into a tighter embrace that you sink into, that you bask in for a moment without saying anything. All until your heart slows down, and your head isn't filled with so much noise.

“Thank you uncle Tommy, thank you for listening,” you whisper and pull back to face him with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”

He offers you a sweet smile and wipes away more stray tears. “I missed you too, Sunny.”

You sit back and watch the delicate snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. You sit in silence next to your uncle with a much lighter feeling on your chest.

“I have to tell you something,” your uncle breaks the silence with an obvious nervous voice.

You blink and look at him with a teasing smile and a curious gaze. “What? Oh my, don't tell me…are you pregnant?”

Your uncle meets your gaze and doesn’t laugh even if you said it as a joke, he instead lets out a deep breath and just holds your gaze with the same nervous look that clues you in that you might have guessed right.

“Are you?” You ask seriously now and lean in.

He averts his gaze and nods, making you slowly begin to grin with utter fucking joy. “That’s amazing news, uncle Tommy!” You exclaim and jump off your seat out of excitement. “That’s like, the best news ever.”

Yet you couldn’t help but begin to feel just a bit envious. You were happy, excited, of course you were, but you couldn’t help but feel a smidge of envy. You never thought of that before, you never yearned for that, a family of your own; you were younger, hurt by your own issues with your dad, there was too much going on in your head to even think about that, you wouldn’t have made a good wife nor a good mother. But now after returning from your country wide trip, now after hearing that your uncle's family is growing, there’s this want growing in your own heart. There doesn’t even need to be a baby, but a partner would be nice.

“Why the long face?” You press as he doesn’t seem to match your excitement.

Your uncle sighs. “I'm just nervous, that's all. I’m very fuckin’ nervous, you know it’s going to be a whole human being. I just don’t know…” he trails off.

You giggle and sit back down next to him. “You have nothing to be nervous about, you’re gonna be a good father,” you assure him. “You might not be mine, but you were—are like one, and you did good.”

Your uncle meets your gaze with a soft look and a soft smile. “Thank you, Sunny,” he says.

You grin brighter at him and can’t help but get even more excited. “I’m finally gonna have a cousin, man. I mean I would have appreciated one like 20 years ago, 22 years ago, but I can teach them things now. I’m wiser now.”

He chuckles and then corrects you. “Sister,”

You snap your eyes to him and stiffen.

“You might not be mine, but you are like my daughter.” He says with a smile. “Mine and Maria’s.”

Your eyes water again, but you hold back your tears now and just laugh softly. “Can I hug you now, or do you want to celebrate with a shot?” You add.

“One wouldn’t hurt, but I’ll take that hug too,” he says and lets you throw your arms around him for a tight embrace.

“Thank you for telling me, I needed to hear some good news.”

He smiles and caresses your back. “I’m glad. I’m happy it made you smile.”

You giggle and pull back to shoot him another beaming smile.

He smiles now too and interjects. “Thank you, I needed that too. Made me feel better.”

You lay down on his lap and can’t stop smiling over the news. He sits back and lets his arm rest on you to enjoy each others presence and relish in the joy he brought.

“Don’t push me in the snow,” you warn him as he begins to make the swing sway back and forth. “I just took a shower.”

He scoffs. “Don’t give me ideas, ‘cause I’ll do it. Unless you’re gonna go snitch to your daddy now that he’s here.”

You giggle. “Don’t give me ideas.”

He slowly slides his hand to your back and applies a small amount of pressure, making you stiffen and hang onto the bottom of the seat. “Don’t,” you warn him.

“I ain’t doing nothin’.” He chuckles.

You turn and look at him with a pointed glare, but all he does is smirk mischievously. He then moves his arm back where it was so you turn back to face ahead.

Yet that’s when he gets you and pushes you off the seat, making you fall in the snow.

“Oops,” you hear him say.

You slap your hands on the cold ground, and slowly sit up on your knees to wipe the snow off your face roughly as you turn your head to glare at him.

“Go on,” he says with a stifled laugh. “Bring out your guitar so we can tune it up. Let’s make sure you haven’t forgotten that talent of yours.”

“Fine,” you grumble and stand up to brush the snow off your body. “I’ll get the bottle too.”

You’re only not getting him back because you just got back and because he shared that news with you. You’ll get him back though. Old fucker.

——

*LATER*

The tv played one of your favorite movies, but it played for no one since you and your friends gathered around the living room and got lost gossiping, drinking and playing some card game Atlas insisted on playing to make drinking “more fun”. That cinnamon scent that basked the room was pushed away by the smell of food Mia had made and the alcohol in your cups.

“That’s total bull,” you complain to Atlas about the number of infected he’s killed.

He scoffs. “You can’t say that, you weren’t here.”

You pull away from Mia’s arms wrapped around your neck to lean closer to Atlas. “That number is too high. I don’t believe you.”

Atlas shrugs. “Don’t believe me then, but I did kill that many.”

You roll your eyes and meet Apollo’s gaze to press him for the truth. He however shrugs and just shares a small smirk with you.

“I’ll let you off the hook and tell you how many I killed if you say the truth,” you suggest.

“No,” Atlas blurts and pushes you back to Mia with his foot, making you scrunch your nose in disgust. “You were out in the world, your number doesn’t count.”

“Sure,” you snicker. “You old vanity. You just don’t want me to beat you. You can’t take it. You’re too fragile.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “Can we just continue with the damn game before someone here talks about herself.”

You smirk. “I am a very interesting person. Just ask your dad.”

Atlas narrows his gaze and scoffs, whilst you and Mia high five.

“Okay, really did any of us get the number right?” Mia’s boyfriend asks to keep the game going.

You look between them all and shake your head. “Nope, you all drink.”

They all groan and Atlas is the one that mumbles of course. “That’s impossible.”

You watch them all take their shots with a playful smirk, but once you land on Apollo, your eyes linger and your smile softens. However, you then catch him shifting his gaze your way so you quickly look away and just feel his stare.

There’s something different about him now compared to before, the look in his eyes, his face maybe. He was never immature as his little brother is still til this day, but Apollo is far more mature than before. More handsome maybe—well he always was you just never gave it too much thought, you were far too troubled for that. And he was—is your best friend….

Damn….there’s that guilt stabbing at you again.

“Okay!” Atlas exclaims and sits up. “My turn, let’s change this game to the Apollo game.”

Mia groans. “Atlas that game is stupid. We know everything about each other—”

“Y/N’s been gone,” Atlas cuts her off. “So, let’s go on. Remember we make a statement about her and if it’s true she drinks, and you are then you drink, okay? Okay! Come on now SunnyD get up.”

You roll your eyes and sit up to drag yourself between Apollo and Mia.

“Okay,” he keeps yelling and does a drum roll on the ground. “You’ve been in love.”

Fuck.

You swallow thickly and get ready to answer, but a knock then raps on the door at that precise moment. Much to your excitement actually.

“Oh!” You jump up. “I’ll get it, you know how much I’ve missed actually answering a door without fearing for my life.” You run over to answer the door, and Achilles gets out of the couch to follow you to the door.

And much to your surprise once you open it you see your dad outside.

“Daddy,” you mutter in disbelief. “Hey.” You sligtly furrow your brows in confusion due to his very much vivid presence.

Your dad averts his gaze to stare at the ground and swallows thickly before stating his reason for this late visit. “Can we talk?” He asks.

Your heart skips a beat, and you grow speechless for a second. “Uh….sure, come in.”

He looks up at you and shakes his head. “No,” he says and glances past your shoulder to steal a glance at all your friends sitting in the living room listening in. “Can we take a walk?”

Must be important if he bothered to come all this way. “Okay,” you whisper and open the door wider. “Come in, I need to grab my jacket and my shoes.” You step aside and he shuffles inside awkwardly, causing the curious dog to sniff him before he runs back to Apollo.

“Uh,” you interject and walk to the end of the hall. “Now that you’re here, meet my friends from when my uncle Tommy and I were fireflies.” You point to Mia first. “That’s my friend Mia. And that next to her is Arthur, her boyfriend. Over there,” you point to the dark haired boy. “Is Atlas, and,” you shift your eyes to Apollo and smile softly. “That’s Apollo. Guys,” you breathe out. “This is my dad, Joel.”

Mia offers him a very faint half smile and simply waves, and her boyfriend does the same, whilst Atlas smirks and throws up a peace sign and a very quick greeting. “‘Sup.”

Gosh.

“Hi,” Apollo greets more properly, but stays sitting down. “It’s very nice meeting you Mr. Miller.”

You glance at your dad and see him just offer them a stiff wave and a dry greeting. “Hello there.”

Better nothing, and better than a gun to their heads.

“Okay,” you breathe out awkwardly. “I’m going to get my stuff.” You offer your friends a quick smile before you run off to your room to get what you need, whilst your mind races and spins with all the different outcomes to what could be said.

He doesn’t seem mad. Maybe it’s about his heart.

Or about choosing…no, it can’t be that. Positive thoughts only.

You let out a deep exhale before leaving your room to join your dad back at the entrance. “Okay,” you encourage him and throw a quick wave at your friends. “I’ll see you guys.” You open the door and walk out to the snowy night with your dad at your heels.

You expect to see Ellie waiting outside, but she’s not here, it’s only him.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask as he now walks by your side when you exit your yard and now get on the street.

“Uh, she’s at the house,” he answers. “I just…wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

You shoot him a nervous glance and let out a small exhale. “Okay,” you whisper and grow even more nervous. “What’s wrong?”

You catch your dad scratching the back of his head and averting your gaze at all costs. “Just…just give me some time…I’m not that good at this.”

This doesn’t help whatsoever.

“Alright,” you whisper and glance at the falling snow as you take a turn to exit the street you lived on.

“I just,” he interjects and fists his hands. “I just need you to hear me, that's all I want, you don’t need to say anything, you don’t owe me nothin’. I just need you to hear what I have to tell you. Okay?”

You blink rapidly and nod. “Okay,” you whisper.

But he ends up taking another long moment to himself to think of the reason why he brought you out in the cold so late at night. You even pass your uncle's house, his own house that he was given to stay at. You pass lit streets, and only fill the silence with the crunches of your feet against the snow. You make it to the center of town where the large glowing Christmas tree brings cheer to the town.

“I,” he breaks his silence. “I’m sorry.”

You gasp softly and stop in your tracks as his words…words you never thought you’d hear, words he hasn’t spoken in a long time register in your mind.

“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you,” he continues and stops to turn around to face you. “I was the one who was supposed to teach you how to be the person you are now, I was the one who…needed to watch you grow up, but I…I let you down. I left,” his voice breaks. “I left you even if I knew your mother, even if I knew….Sarah would be mad. I left you, I hurt you…” his breath shudders and you can’t hold back your own tears now, no matter how much you wanted to fight them away.

“And I’m so ashamed of it,” he adds as…tears roll down his cheeks. “I am. But I don’t regret it,” he reveals and meets your watery gaze. “Because if I didn’t leave, you wouldn’t be who you are now, a strong, independent woman. You would only be angry like me, you’d be vain, and a monster.”

You shake your head against his words, but don’t say anything, you keep listening to him.

“I just wish I would have done things differently,” he mutters with more tears steaming down his face, tears that shock you to your core, leave you speechless and heartbroken.

“I’m sorry,” he says again in a tearful voice. “I am. There will never not be a day where I don’t regret how I hurt you.” He shakes his head and steps towards you. “And you have every right to keep on hatin’ me, to move on and not deal with me. I don’t blame you, I wouldn't. I just needed you to hear what I owe you.”

You let out a shaky breath and look up to watch the snowflakes dance down from the sky, littering the ground with their white icy texture, and making the ground twinkle against the street lights yellow hue, against the beautiful colors that wrap the grand green tree a few feet away from you. You watch the sky to take in all his words, to gather your own thoughts.

“I…” you murmur against the winter wind that blows past you. “I don’t understand,” you cry and look down at him, but his face blurs because of your tears, and the twinkling lights cloud him and your vision. “Why….why me? I….” you shake your head. “I love too easily…I don’t like to see the reality of things because it makes me sad, I dream too big and too much, I…I’m too boastful,” you sob.

“I’m not strong, I’ve never been. I’ve tried to change for you, I’ve tried to be a better daughter, one—one who you’d be proud of, but I can't, and you can’t ignore it…you can’t,” you shake your head with your quivering lip and step back away from him. “I’m not enough. I'm not perfect like Sarah was, I’m not…important like Ellie, I’m nothing,” you whisper. “You deserve better. You do.”

Your dad lets out a shaky breath and nods as more tears escape past his eyes. “It’s true,” he admits. “You might be a bit boastful, you might see the beauty of the world and hold onto too much hope, your dreams might be too big, but,” he quivers and takes a step towards you. “That is why I love you. I love every bit of it. I have loved it since the moment I held you in my arms for the first time. You…you are everything to me, baby, you are the reason I keep livin’, you are my entire world, and the beauty that this world lost. You are what makes all this worth it, you are everything to me.”

You scoff softly at his words and let out a shaky sob as you find them beautiful yet unbelievable.

“I’m sorry,” he says again and gets close enough so he can cup your cheeks. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t lose you too.”

You grab his hands, you hold onto them as you hold his teary gaze for a moment, before you throw your arms around him.

He’s caught off guard for a few seconds, but he then hugs you back and presses you against his chest and rests his head on yours.

You don’t have the luxury of time, neither of you, and you know you’d only hate yourself if something happened to him and you couldn’t say what you feel.

“I forgive you,” you assure him and hold onto him tighter. “I do. I forgive you.”

He lets out a relieved sigh and clutches onto you as his tears soak your head.

“Will you forgive me?” You ask, and he quickly pulls back to hold your face in his hands and look at you with confusion. “For not trying either. I should’ve tried too. And for that I’m sorry.”

Your dad quickly shakes his head and wipes away your tears. “You have nothin’ to apologize for, okay? Nothing.”

You sniffle and smile softly. “Still, I'm sorry, just take it, okay?”

He scoffs in protest, but nods regardless before he pulls you in for another tight and loving embrace, letting you find comfort in his warmth that wraps around you, and by the sound of his beating heart that eases as you hold him close to you.

“I love you,” he says by your ear. “So so much.”

You laugh softly and nod. “I love you too. I do.”

He gives you one last squeeze before you both pull away from each other and face the Christmas tree in a peaceful silence, hand in hand. You linger there until you remember what you have for him.

“Can I give you an early Christmas present?” You ask rhetorically.

But he still answers. “I don’t have anything for you, and well you shouldn’t.”

You scoff and turn to pull him back to your house.

“Look,” he interjects. “One more thing, about Henry….”

You blink and feel your smile falter.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

You swallow thickly and shake your head. “There was nothing you could do. Nothing any of us could do…” it’s sad to admit now, it tears your heart apart, but it’s true.

“But,” your dad continues. “You’ll be okay?”

You glance over at him and hesitate a moment before you nod softly. “I will. With time. The best thing we can do…is move on.” You know that now after the talk with him, he lifted that weight off you, and helped you from drowning under the depths of the suffocating waters. “As hard as it is, as impossible as it may seem now, we have to live for them, because we don't have the luxury of time….so that’s the best thing we can do, right?”

Your dad lets his eyes linger on you for a moment before he smiles softly. “I would’ve never thought of that…it’s sweet.”

You smile softly and hum, leaving the rest of your walk to your house silent. Once you do reach your house, your friends are still out, but calmer. “Excuse me,” your dad directs at them as you make him follow you to your room.

“Now I didn’t have time to wrap it, but it’s the thought that counts,” you tell him and turn the light on in your room. And luckily the gift is easy to find on your vanity.

“This room is…very you,” your dad comments as you hear him walk over to the corner of your room where your guitar is. “You play better now?”

You scoff and snatch the disc from your vanity to turn and face him. “Yes,” you admit. “I mean I'm not as good as you, but I’m better than I was before.” You grin and then close the gap between each other to hand him his favorite movie, Curtis and Viper 2.

“I never payed much mind to it before, but I watched it for the first time a couple years back, and it’s not bad,” you share. “That is the movie though, right? All I could remember were the funny men from the cover.”

Your dad looks down at the disc in his hands and immediately smiles. “You’re right,” he assures you, letting you let out a relieved sigh. All this time you thought you’ve been wrong—“It’s a great movie,” he adds. “Where you find it?”

You smirk. “I found it in the tunnels at KC. I just never got the chance to give it to you. You like it?”

He meets your gaze and nods. “I love it, baby. Thank you.”

You smile sweetly and clap softly out of joy. He notices your smile and his smile softens.

“It’s not that late yet,” you add, “even if it looks so. My tv works….I can pop it in. If you want.” You suggest.

Your dad doesn’t hesitate—he can’t turn you down, so he nods. “Go on, pop it in.”

You squeal softly and take the movie from him to now head to your small tv. “You can lay on the bed, just take your shoes off.”

He hums, and as you’re putting on the movie you hear your bed sink and shoes thump on the ground. And as overjoyed as you are, someone comes to mind and brings your mood down slightly. Yet you don’t bring her up until you’re laying down next to him watching the previews play with your head on his chest, finding comfort by the sound of his heartbeat and his arm around you.

“About Ellie,” you bring up without shame, hoping he’d be honest. “What are you goin’ to do?”

Your dad lets out a deep sigh and you feel him swallow thickly. “I’m not the man I used to be,” he admits quietly as he caresses the side of your head. “I’m old now. You know that, I’m…not strong enough no more, but…trust me when I say I'm going to do my best by her.”

He’s right about being old, but is he right about letting her leave?

You can’t let her leave with just your uncle Tommy. You know that heartbreak too well, and you know your dad has the best intentions, you wouldn't have seen that yourself before, but hopefully she’ll see it with time. If that’s what he wants. You can’t force him to do anything.

“Alright,” you trust him. “But whatever happens, I’m going with her, I’m seeing her off. For her and for what she can mean to the firefly’s and humanity,” you say softly. “I owe it to Sam, to everyone else that I’ve lost to that infection.”

Your dad lets out a deep breath. “That’s fine,” he says. “That’s good. Your Uncle Tommy plans to take her tomorrow morning. It’s a week's ride.”

You just got home, but fuck it. One more trip and that’s it.

“What about you?” You probe. “What will you do?”

He stays quiet for a moment and watches the movie finally start. “I don’t know.” He breaks his silence.

You sigh softly. “That’s fine,” you assure him. “Just…do what’s best by her, and you. Okay? Promise?”

“I do,” he whispers. “I promise.”

You smile softly. “Good,” you whisper.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Flashlight?

Check.

Extra clothes?

Check.

Books to read?

Check.

Multiple pairs of fingerless gloves that keeps your hands warm but helps with other purposes?

Check.

New cassettes to listen to?

Check.

Every other little thing that goes in the backpack?

Uh….check!

Weapons?

Need to check those out, but it’s all here. Good. You get off the edge of your bed and once you’re at the door you make sure to be quiet since it’s still pretty early and neither person living here gets up just yet.

However, as you quietly step out of your room you almost run into Mia waiting outside of your door with her arms over her chest, and her dark eyes piercing your very soul—she’s pissed. She knows.

“Mornin’,” you greet her with a small smile.

Mia doesn't return it, or return that same energy. She remains pissed.

“Don’t,” she cuts you off. “Don’t smile at me like everything’s okay.”

She might be shy and gentle, but she’s no one to mess with when she’s upset. Like now.

“You’re leaving again.” She knows. How?

You lose your smile and let out a deep sigh. “Yes,” you admit. “I am but not for long. Maybe just a month this time, or even less. I just need to see someone off.”

Mia shakes her head and her brows furrow deeper. “Can’t someone else do that? You just got home from a 2 year trip. A trip you probably barely survived…”

“Mia,” you interject to try and comfort her concern, but she continues and drops her arms to her sides to take an angry step towards you.

“No. No! We waited, I waited for you for 2 years, everyday I prayed that you wouldn’t meet the same fate everyone else did; my mom, my brother. I waited and now you’re leaving again.”

You swallow thickly and quietly mention who you’re going with this time in hopes that would help. “I’m going with my uncle Tommy. I’ll be back, I came back this time. I promise.”

“No, that’s no excuse—”

“And you can’t make me stay,” you cut her off this time. “I appreciate your concern, I do, but I have to see this girl off, I have to make this worth something…I lost people Mia, a guy I loved, and his brother who I adored…he got bit….” You pause and swallow back thickly. “If taking her might be worth something I have to do it for them.”

Mia seems puzzled by what you said since she doesn’t see the bigger picture, but she doesn’t argue now.

“I’ll come back,” you assure and take another step toward her to take her hands in yours. “I promise. I won’t leave after that. I’ll stay home. Just one more trip.”

Mia drops her gaze and hesitates before she nods softly and whispers, “okay. One more.” She then pulls her hands away to wrap you in an embrace. “Come back, okay?”

You return her embrace and nod. “I will,” you assure her. “I swear.” You give her one gentle squeeze before you pull away to offer her one last smile before you continue your way outside.

Yet, of course, as you walk past your yard, there, against the fence is Apollo with a backpack, and Achilles waiting next to him. How the hell did they know you’re leaving?

Did they overhear?

“Apollo?” You question and come to another stop.

Achilles runs to you and rubs his body against you before sitting by your side now, while Apollo turns to face you as he drops his folded arms down to his sides.

“I can get the horses, you check out the weapons.” He peels away from his spot and steps off the sidewalk, whilst you just look at him in disbelief.

“Hold up, where are you going?” You interrupt him.

Apollo stops in his tracks and just peers back. “I’m going with you and Tommy.” He mentions it casually.

You blink in disbelief and let out a breathless laugh. “What?” You shake your head. “Why?”

Apollo turns around completely and looks almost surprised you’d ask such a question. “I accidentally overheard you and your dad talking on my way to bed last night—”

Sure. Accidental.

“I'm not sitting on my ass here while you’re off risking your life and having all the fun—“

You scoff softly.

“Besides,” he adds in a softer voice. “I don’t want to wait for you to come back home again. I’ll go with you this time.”

You breath traps in your throat out of disbelief over his words, and a soft smile begins to appear on your features. “That’s nice,” you tell him. “Very…but…I can’t be who you want…not yet at least. I lost someone, someone I loved, someone I fell in love with. It’s still a fresh wound, ” you scoff as your eyes begin to sting. “I can’t be who you want, or what you want.”

Rather than being hurt, or upset by your words Apollo smiles. “I loved someone too. I was in love with her too. It hurts too. But,” he adds in a soft voice as he takes a step towards you. “I’m not asking you to be my first love, nor do I want to be yours….we can be each other's last, whenever you’re ready, I’ll wait.”

Tears fall past your eyes and you can only whisper. “Okay.”

He grins, but you step back again. “But I can’t make you come with us. I don’t want you to. Your brother is here, your dad,” you insist. “They need you alive.”

“I can die here too,” he interjects. “It doesn’t matter, y/n, I would go to the edge of earth with you. I would’ve had you asked me before.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help your smile. But as nice as his words are to hear, the answer remains the same. “What if I want you to wait for me here?” You say and now get closer to him. “So you can greet me when I get home. So I can have something to look forward to. A light in the dark.”

“That,” he chuckles softly. “Is the cheesiest thing ever.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, stopping now as you’re only inches away. “Yeah, but will you?” You querie.

He holds your gaze and offers you a soft assuring smile. “I already did, what’s another month or so?”

Your grin widens and you immediately throws your arms around him. He immediately returns the embrace and nuzzles his head on your shoulder.

“Be careful, okay?” He adds.

“I will,” you assure him and linger in his embrace for a moment longer. “You take care too, promise?”

“I promise.”

You smile and pull away to cup his cheek, he offers you a soft smile before he raises his hands to unwrap his scarf around his neck to instead carefully wrap it around yours.

“There, nice and toasty.” He murmurs.

You giggle and hold his gaze for another moment before you pull away before you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, and turn to walk to your uncle Tommy’s house now. You want to look back, but you don’t, you can’t, it’d only make you feel bad for leaving, so you just feel his stare and walk away. You can’t even give it too much or else you’ll feel bad too, you just clear your mind and walk.

Once you make it to the street where your uncle lives you catch him walking out of his own house. He spots you right away, and is rightfully surprised by your presence.

“What are ya doin’?” He asks once you meet halfway in the middle of the street.

You shrug. “Makin’ Maria even more mad.” You glance at his house and nod slowly. “Goin’ with Ellie, and you. Leaving, one more time. And don’t you dare fight me, I’ll fight back.”

Your uncles lips pull into a soft smile and he scoffs as he nods. “Okay then,” he doesn’t question you further, he respects your choice without a fight.

You glance at his house again and sigh. “No pancakes in there, is there?” You ask with a bit of hope.

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Well It’s a good thing I ate beforehand then.” You turn and begin to walk to the house Ellie and your dad were staying at. “Wanna go fetch her?”

He nods. “Yep.”

As he goes inside you wait outside and think about your dad now. He said he was going to do right by her, you trust him, but is he really not going to see her off at the gate or even just outside the house? You said your goodbyes last night just in case, but what about her?

“Y/N?” You hear Ellie’s voice as the front door closes behind her.

You lift your head, and offer her a sweet smile and a small wave. “Hey.”

She stops by you and studies you for a moment in this soft shocked reaction before she probes. “Are you coming?”

You nod and begin to follow after your uncle as he leads the way. “Yep. I’ve been gone from home for two years, what’s another month or so?” You tell her. “Besides, I don’t want to miss another hell of an adventure.” You smirk at her, and she offers you a soft smile. “Is that okay?” You make sure regardless of the relief you read on her face.

“Yeah,” Ellie says without hesitation. “Yeah.”

You offer one more smile before you skip ahead to walk at your uncles side. “Stables and then can we get my rifle and pistol? I’ve felt like I’ve been missin’ something all day. It’s weird.”

He peers back and then glances at you to nod. “Of course. How did it go with your friends? Have fun?”

You nod and begin to get ahead a bit. “Yeah. We had fun, we ate some food, we drank, watched Pulp Fiction—which,” you say and look back at Ellie, “we need to watch by the way, when we get back. Sorry, have you watched it?”

Ellie shakes her head. “I never have, no.”

You smirk. “Great movie. You’ll like it, I’m sure of it.”

“Is it romantic? I prefer more action and scary movies.” She says.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, it’s not romantic. You’ll like it, trust me.”

“You make a play based off that too?” Ellie comments, making your uncle chuckle.

You shoot her smirking face a narrowed glare. “No,” you deadpan. “I didn't. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to that movie.”

“No but seriously,” your uncle interjects. “Once we come back you need to tell her to make a play, they’re all surprisingly good.”

“Of course they are,” you quip. “And! What is that supposed to mean?”

He smirks. “Just surprisin’ that’s all. Don’t know where you get that talent from.”

You hum and shoot him a pointed glare, and leave at that as you see the stables coming up ahead.

“I get my own horse right?” You ask and run up ahead.

“You’re sharin!” Your uncle exclaims.

“Beats walkin’!” You comment and slow down as you enter the pen. And rather than waiting for them to catch up you walk in the stables to start getting the horse ready.

Albeit, just as you walk in you stop right away as you catch your dad saddling a horse. You know what it means; he changed his mind about staying. So instead of diving into questions you just smile at him as you meet his gaze, and look back as your uncle and Ellie walk in.

“You come here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asks in an upset tone.

“No,” your dad says. “I came here to steal one of these horses and go.”

He could’ve just asked.

“Well,” your uncle interjects. “I woulda gave you one.”

Your dad pats the horse's neck and looks at his brother. “I know,” he says. “Anyway.” He glances at Ellie. “That was 30 minutes ago, and I guess…” he pauses and walks to Ellie to continue. “You deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy—”

He gets cut off suddenly as Ellie shoves a blue bag of supplies so he can hold, and retorts. “Let’s go.”

Your dad glances at you before looking back at Ellie and adding, “okay.”

Silence follows so you move past them to saddle your own horse since three don’t fit on one. Your uncle helps so the progress moves on faster, but as he does you come to the realization that now he won’t be coming. The only reason he was going was because your dad wasn’t, but now that he changed his mind your uncle stays.

“I’ll make it back before the baby is born,” you break your silence.

Your uncle looks over at you and shoots you a smile. “You better.”

“I’ll make it back before my birthday too,” you add with a playful smirk. “So you better start plannin’, you’ve been let off the hook for 2 years now.”

“You come back and I’ll throw you the biggest party you’ve had,” he feeds to your demand.

You smile softly as you feel sadness in your heart knowing you have to leave him again. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Wouldn’t expect it any other way.”

You giggle and finish up saddling up your horse to then meet up with Ellie and your dad outside the stable.

“General direction?” Your dad asks your uncle, but he looks to you instead.

“She knows it, she can lead the way.” Your uncle points out. “You remember the school, right Sunny?”

You nod as you caress your black horse's neck. “Yeah. I remember.”

Your dad nods in comprehension, and once he looks back at his brother in front of him they quickly move in and embrace each other. It’s short but sweet, and makes you smile with joy to see that they’re doing okay.

It’s not like it was before, but the love is there.

“There’s a place for you here,” your uncle tells your dad once they’re apart. “For Ellie and you.”

“Countin’ on it,” your dad says, letting your uncle now look at you again.

“You come back now, understand?”

You shoot him a smirk. “Have to. Can’t miss my own party.”

He smiles and lets his eyes linger on you to take in the sight of you one more time.

“Can I borrow that?” Your dad interjects.

Your uncle breaks his gaze away from you to glance at his rifle before meeting your dads gaze. “Yeah.” He accepts and then slides the gun off his shoulder.

“‘Cause Maria took mine, you know?” Your dad says.

“I already said yes, Joel,” he retorts as he hands your dad the gun. “Adios, big brother.”

Your dad offers him a nod before finally moving out. And once you collect your own rifle, pistol, and other supplies you may need, you climb on your horse and head on out. One more time.

But, this time with not such a heavy heart, or a tormented mind.

——

*LATER*

The sound of the gunshot rang against the secluded grass field, and the sound of the bullet breaking a tree trunk echoes out, making you snicker at Ellie’s failure to shoot the close target.

She chooses to ignore you though and shoots again, but once again misses and hits a small pile of snow near the target. And this time you smile at the ground as you shift your position.

She does it a third time, but no luck, so she lets out an annoyed sigh that lets your dad comment. “Wide right.”

Ellie shakes her head in denial.

“You’re flinchin’,” you comment, and unfold your arms off your chest.

“The targets too small,” she rebuttals you and your dad.

“I made it bigger than I should’ve,” your dad mentions and points to the gun. “Eject the cartridge.”

Ellie does so and the bullet falls to the ground first before she argues back. “And I’m not flinching.”

You and your dad share a teasing look before you hum. “Mm-hmm.”

“The rifle just sucks,” Ellie keeps mumbling.

You roll your eyes, and your dad steps forward. “Okay, give It.”

Ellie hands the rifle to your dad with a sigh and another comment. “It doesn’t aim right.”

You crouch down beside your dad as he switches spots with Ellie, and hum again with a little playful smirk on your lips. “Mm-hmm.”

“You’ll see.”

“A deep breath in,” your dad says as he gets the gun ready. “Slow breath out. Squeeze the trigger like you love it.”

“Mm,” Ellie hums as she looks through the binoculars.

“Gentle,” he continues and lowers his head, and closes one eye to look better through the scope. “Steady…nice and slow.”

“You’re gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?” Ellie retorts, making you snicker as your dad looks up at her with a disapproving look.

“It isn’t gonna work. It doesn’t aim right,” Ellie continues, so your dad then hits the trigger gently and the bullet hits the target straight on, causing him to lower the gun and look up at her all cocky.

“You dick,” Ellie quips with a grin.

Your dad shrugs smugly, causing you to snicker at Ellie.

“2 out 2?” You suggest smugly.

Your dad smirks and happily hands you the rifle, making Ellie shake her head in disapproval.

“Watch carefully, kid,” you comment as you scoot further in the middle.

“Don’t get the gun pregnant,” she quips.

“Haha, funny,” you mumble and eject the cartridge as you close one eye and aim at the target. “Now…” you trail as you hit the trigger, and the bullet whizzes out and hits the target inches away from where your dad hit it.

“See,” you taunt Ellie and lift your head. “Can I get a bump?” You offer her your fist.

Ellie scoffs lightheartedly and pushes your fist away. “No,” she grumbles, so your dad gently taps your fist with his.

“You guys suck,” Ellie scoffs and turns around to head back to the horses.

You snicker and push yourself to your given height, and hand the rifle back to your dad to quickly catch up to Ellie. “You just need patience,” you assure her and look around the fields. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

Ellie glances at you and then looks back at your dad following at your tail. “Did it take you time?”

You sigh deeply. “Not much, but it’s not because I had much of a choice, I was forced to adapt, forced to learn everything quickly to survive. It’s not super easy for you, but you have it easier, you’re used to all this shit since you were born in it, I wasn’t.”

“So you’re saying I can be better,” Ellie comments.

You glance at her and scoff as you nudge her to the side. “Sure, practice and then we’ll see.”

Ellie smirks and nods in comprehension. Once you reach your horses you continue on ahead down your path, filling the day with silence at times and conversations that come up at other times. Due to the horses it was faster to get around the land, it was also less stressful since they can pick up sounds neither you might hear.

Luckily though they didn’t catch anything bad, no infected or people, the path was clear and the day was easy, making for a calm night in the spot you settled down at.

“Now that we have time,” you interject and grab your backpack from behind you to plop it down in front of you. “I have a Christmas gift for you Ellie.”

“What? Really?” Ellie queries curiously.

You hum and open your backpack. Since what you have for her is placed on top you look over at her sitting to the side of the campfire and add on. “I gave my dad his Christmas gift early, so might as well give yours early too.” You shoot her a smile, and she glances at your dad with slight shock before getting up from her seat to sit next to you.

“Now keep in mind,” you continue and now begin to pull out her gift. “I didn’t have time to go into town to actually shop well, but I do hope you like it.” You fully pull out her gift and hand it to her. “And it’s not wrapped either so sorry.”

Ellie’s smile turns timid as she takes the brown leather holster from you, but she soon grins once she figures out what it is exactly. “No way!” She exclaims and stands up to hook it around her hip. “A thigh holster!”

“Now you don’t have to be scared about shooting off your ass,” your dad comments.

You giggle and nod in agreement as you watch Ellie now tie the last strap above her knee. “Cool,” she mumbles and tucks her pistol in the holster before quickly sliding it out and pointing at the empty space between your dad and you—“Fast move,” she mutters to herself, and then spins the gun around her finger to try and insert it back in the holster all swiftly, but the gun hits the ground instead.

“Jesus, Ellie,” your dad snaps.

Ellie stifles her laugh so as to not piss your dad off and picks up her gun to put it back. However she then finds the tip hits against something inside so she pulls out the gun and digs her fingers inside, and pulls out a leather necklace with a small piece of wood carved into a neat circle with a butterfly burned onto it. On each side of the necklace, over the wood are small wooden beads.

“Is this…” she pauses and her smile softens as well as her eyes. “Is it for me too?”

You nod. “Yeah. The necklace is adjustable so you can have it where it feels comfortable.”

Ellie grins softly and turns the small wooden pendant and smiles wider.

“It has my name on it—did you do this?” She asks.

You scoff and shake your head. “Nah, my friend did. I can’t do that.”

Ellie looks back at the necklace and shifts her eyes to the other thing around it, something small, thin, plastic and shaped like a dull triangle. “What is this?”

You glance over at your dad and let him answer. “A…guitar pick. Uh…I figure that once we go back to Jackson you’ll need a hobby so you won’t get bored, so I thought maybe you’d like to learn how to play a guitar.”

You smile wider and look back to Ellie, seeing her eyes only twinkle brighter. “You play?” She probes.

He nods. “Haven’t played in some time, but yeah, I do. I taught y/n a bit. I can teach you if you’d like.”

Ellie nods quickly. “Yeah, that’d be cool. I’d like that. Thank you, the both of you. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you, y/n.”

You shake your head and assure her. “Don’t worry about it. You can make it up for my birthday. My uncle Tommy is throwing me a party.” You share with a sweet smile.

“Oh is he now?” Your dad probes.

You glance at him and nod. “Yep. You guys are invited by the way.”

“I’ll think about it,” your dad teases you, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“By the way,” Ellie interjects as she ties the necklace around her neck. “Why does Tommy call you Sunny? Is it like a middle name or something?”

“A nickname,” you tell her. “But I don’t know why exactly he does, he just does. I’ve never asked.” You shrug.

“He says it because,” your dad cuts in, causing Ellie and you to look over at him. “Back when y/n was a little girl she always had a Sunny disposition, she was always smilin’. As a little baby she was easy to make laugh too, so one time this song by some 70s band with the same name began to play, and he got it from there.”

Ellie smiles. “Sweet,” she comments, whilst you grin and miss your uncle all over again.

At least this time it’s not as bad as before though, because at least now you do have your father, and are closer to Ellie, so they make it all easier now. They make the long days of riding that follow a lot easier, and even make those days seem quicker. Especially because Ellie has a lot of questions regarding the time before.

Like now for example, as you’re riding on horseback through the woods she breaks the peaceful silence with a question. “So the way they ran stuff in Jackson, was how things used to be?”

“No,” your dad answers this question. “The country was too big for that. Back then there were basically two main ways of lookin’ at things. Some people wanted to own everything.”

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hums in comprehension, and your dad continues.

“And some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all.”

“Which one were you?” Ellie asks.

“Neither,” he says. “I just did my job.”

“Which was…” Ellie trails off as she thinks, and glances at you since you had told her once before. “Building?” She asks.

“That’s right,” he answers. “Houses, stores, that kinda thing. We were called “contractors”.”

“The contractor,” Ellie says in a deep voice, making you grin down at your handle—“that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” your dad adds on. “We were cool. Everybody loved contractors.”

Really? Hm.

“Nice,” Ellie says and proceeds to rest her head on his back.

You try to think if he’s right, but you were too young before to know otherwise, and your uncle Tommy never said anything against it so your dad must be right.

“This has been ‘Construction corner with Joel Miller’,” you quote in a deep voice.

Ellie and your dad look over at you, and you laugh.

“It’s what Tess used to say.” You let Ellie know, and remind your dad.

Ellie smiles and then adds her own bit. “The Contractor!” She mocks in a deep voice.

You smirk. “The Contractor!” You mock as well. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie laughs and repeats what you said. “Joel the Contractor.”

Where is Tess? You may have not known her long, she might’ve scared you a bit before, but she was nice and cool. You’d ask, but you didn’t want to sour the mood, so you went on going without knowing.

Eventually the day turns to night and so as to not exhaust yourselves you camp for the night; this time in a place deeper in the woods.

“Okay,” you add as you stare up at the starry sky. “So if you could name 3 songs to describe yourself, what would it be?”

Ellie hums, and you glance over at your dad that has his back turned to Ellie and you.

“I wouldn’t know,” she mutters.

“Okay,” you nod. “Then to describe each other.”

You have three perfect songs for Ellie.

Ellie goes silent for a second before interjecting loudly in defeat. “Fuck, I don’t know!”

You giggle, and unexpectedly your dad interjects when he’s supposed to be sleeping.

“Three? For you, y/n, Uptown Girl by Billy Joel, Sunny, and,” he pauses and begins to laugh.

“What?” You probe and flip around to face his back. “What other song?”

“That song you sang for my birthday 20 years ago, by that one rapper named after two quarters.”

“Oh god,” you grumble and flip back around to face the sky. “I thought you forgot that! That’s so embarrassing!”

“Wait?! What?!” Ellie exclaims and flips around to face you and your dad. “What song is it?”

“I don’t know,” your dad says. “Tell y/n to sing it for you.”

“Daddy,” you warn. “Don’t.”

“What?” He chuckles. “It was cute, I told ya it was. She,” he continues and looks over his shoulder. “She dressed up as me that day; she wore one of my shirts, put on this fake mustache, and sang this rap song as one of my birthday gifts. It was great, one of my favorite gifts by far.”

You slap your hands on your face to hide your embarrassment.

“Really?” Ellie probes with a snicker. “That’s nice. Do you remember the words, y/n? I’d love to hear them since you know, I’m not that well up to date about the world before.”

Guilt tripping you? Not nice.

You don’t fall for it, you shake your head. “No!” You deny her, and pull your hands off your face to pull your sheet over your face as you drag yourself further in your sleeping bag. “This is over goodnight!”

“Come on!” Ellie presses you, and you can practically feel her grin. “Just one verse!”

You ignore them and pretend to be asleep. They both then try to press you, but you stay defiant and don’t give in. They eventually drop it after relentless teasing, so the night passes, a day does too and so on until finally that day comes when you’re finally close to your destination.

“Here we were,” you say as you bring your horse, and the other two to a stop in front of the intersection. “We’re here.”

“Well,” your dad interjects. “How ‘bout that? Made it in five days.”

“Easy days,” Ellie says, and you keep on moving now towards the city. “I don’t know what Tommy was so afraid of.”

“Still time to find out.”

“Still time to find out,” Ellie mocks your dad using a deep voice.

You glance over at her and scoff in amusement, while your dad shoots her a hard pointed stare.

“The contractorrrr,” Ellie whispers creepily.

You laugh and play along too. “Joel the Contractor.”

Ellie lets out a chuckle and repeats what you said. “Joel the contractorrr.”

You both share a laugh that’s quickly cut off by your dad.

“Quiet, the both of you, we’re going to enter the city now we don't know what lies ahead.”

You stifle your teasing smile and assure them. “Nothin’, the city isn’t wiped out from infected, but it’s not bad considering it’s where the firefly’s come to. Same goes for stragglers and groups. We’ll be on the clear if we head directly to campus.”

“And that’s where they’ll be?” Ellie asks with no laugh or smile now.

When you steal her a glance you see slight fear and worry, so you do your best to come off confident. “It's where they stay,” you assure her. “They’ll be there.”

Hopefully….

A/N- Why can’t the Miller’s just eat pancakes and be happy? Anyway don’t forget that gesture of reader laying her head on Joel’s chest, it’s gonna come back and bite everyone in the ass iykyk

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl

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sycamorelibrary754 · 4 months

Text

Guardian Angel

Chapter 7: Pinot's Palette

Summary: Your recovery is coming along nicely and it’s finally time for your first official date with Wanda. You go to great lengths to ensure that it is perfect.

Warnings: Mentions of injuries.

Word Count: 5k

A/N: This has been my favorite chapter to write so far. I hope you enjoy!

Guardian Angel Masterlist

Your phone emitted a small ding, pulling your attention away from the book you were reading. You glanced at the screen and saw the latest reminder in your schedule - it was time for your second follow-up appointment with Helen. Your heart sank a little as you realized that you were still unable to walk, which meant that getting to the Med Bay in your wheelchair would be a challenge, as always. To make matters worse, your left arm was still in a sling, leaving you continually reliant on your newfound friends to help you accomplish even the simplest tasks around the compound. You couldn't help but feel weary of the constant need for assistance, but you were hopeful for some good news today. It had been over a month since the accident and you were eager to get back to work soon.

Wanda had taken Billy and Tommy to soccer practice, leaving you on your own. Thankfully, Natasha kindly offered to accompany you to your appointment. Standing with her arms crossed, she watched as you tried to convince her that you didn't need her assistance. You showed her how you could use your right hand to push the wheelchair and then use gravity to move forward.

Natasha humored your demonstration for a total of ten seconds before she had enough of your stubbornness. She grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and started pushing you down the hall. Frustrated, you grumbled but let the widow take over.

“Beep, beep,” Nat called out as she rolled you rolled into the Med Bay.

“Y/N, we’re all set for you,” a nurse announced.

“Want me to come in with you?”

“Sure,” as the nurse starts to roll you away.

You were familiar with the routine by now. X-rays and an MRI were conducted to evaluate your recovery. Fortunately, test results were instantaneous in the Med Bay. A luxury you were thankful for. A few minutes later Dr. Cho knocked and entered your room.

“Hi, y/n,” sitting down in front of the hologram interface and opening your patient file. “How are you feeling today?“

“Honestly, this week has been a bit tough. I'm still experiencing some soreness on the left side of my stomach and chest, but my headaches have become less frequent.”

“The discomfort you're feeling on your left side is normal after the splenectomy and the procedure on your punctured lung. You may experience some residual and referred pain for a while. I'd also like to remind you to avoid screen time as much as possible while you're still experiencing concussion symptoms,” raising an eyebrow at you.

“Don’t worry,” Nat interrupted. We’ll make sure she stays off the screens.”

“Overall, I'm pleased with how your recovery is progressing," Helen said as she brought up the images from your MRI. "The cradle has significantly sped up the healing process following your surgery. As you can see here," she pointed at the screen, "there is very little scar tissue and no inflammation around your abdomen or chest. This is exactly what we want to see.”

You appreciated Helen's optimistic and calm demeanor. She had been with you every step of the way since you were rushed into her operating room, and you weren't sure how you could have managed this last month without her.

“So, that was the good news,” rubbing her hands together. “Do you want to hear the great news?”

“That wasn’t the great news?”

“Your fractured ankle has healed well over the last month. This means that you no longer need to use the wheelchair," showing you your X-ray image. "Instead, we will fit you with a walking boot for the next couple of weeks. You can take it off at night, and if everything goes as planned, you should be able to remove it, along with your sling, in two weeks.”

“Wow," you said, running a hand over your face in relief.

If all goes well, I foresee you being able to return to work in a few weeks,” she added.

"Thank you so much, Helen.”

*^~^*

You and Natasha stepped off the elevator and walked into the common room. You realized that it had been a long time since you had walked anywhere and you would never take the simple act of walking for granted again. You took a seat on the sofa and checked your phone to see if Wanda had called. Since you had both been honest about your feelings, you couldn't go long without speaking to the redhead.

A hand reaches out from behind and takes your phone. “Nope.”

“Hey!”

“You heard what Helen said. No screens while you’re still having concussion symptoms.”

“Come on, Nat,” you complained, reaching for your phone. “I feel fine right now. Wanda was supposed to call me after my appointment and I don’t want to miss her.”

"I’ll hang onto your phone and let you know if she calls,” holding it above her head.

Taking advantage of your newfound mobility, you stood up and tried to grab your phone with your good arm.

"Maria! Heads up," Natasha yelled to her girlfriend as she walked into the room.

The Deputy Director caught the phone in one swift motion before it hit her in the face.

"Please give me my phone,” you pleaded.

"Hey, you’re standing! That’s great.”

"Thank you, Maria. May I have my phone as a reward?"

She looked past you at Natasha, who shook her head in defiance.

"Sorry, y/n," she was just about to toss your phone back to Nat when it started ringing.

Maria smiled and showed you your phone screen lighting up with Wanda’s name.

"GIMMEE!" You shouted as Maria tossed it over your head to Nat.

Natasha answered the phone and switched over to the speakerphone.

"Hey, Wands," she said resting her head in her hand as she leaned on the counter.

"Nat? Why are you answering y/n's phone? Is she okay?"

"She’s fine. Helen just told her to stay off the screens for a bit while she’s still having some lingering concussion symptoms," Natasha said.

"She’s still having concussion symptoms?! We FaceTimed for an hour last night and she didn’t say anything. You tell her that we are going to have a long discussion about following Helen’s orders after I drop the boys off at soccer practice," Wanda said.

"Oh, don’t worry. She’ll get the message," Natasha responded with a smirk.

"Thank you, Nat. I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

"Okay, bye," Natasha ended the call and promptly put your phone in her back pocket. "You could try to come and take it, but I warn you, I’ve taken down Hydra agents in less time than it would take me to push you over."

You grumbled and walked back over to the sofa with Natasha following you closely.

"That’s more like it," Natasha said, lovingly patting the top of your head. "Now, may I interest you in a peanut butter sandwich?"

"Sure… with chocolate milk?"

"Oh my God, what are you, eight?"

"Says the superhero offering me a peanut butter sandwich.”

"She’s got you there, babe," Maria snickered, plopping down next to you on the sofa.

"Fine," Natasha said before heading back into the kitchen.

"So, you and Wanda," Maria sheepishly grinned, as you turned beet red at the mere mention of her name. "That’s wonderful," patting you on the shoulder.

"Hey, watch this," she smirked. "Nat! Y/N wants marshmallow fluff on her peanut butter sandwich."

"Hell no! Do I look like I work at the Candy Bar?" Natasha yelled from the kitchen.

You both lapsed into laughter on the sofa.

*^~^*

You were having your lunch with Natasha and Maria in the kitchen when FRIDAY interrupted.

"Ms. Y/L/N, Ms. Maximoff is on her way up."

"Thank you, FRIDAY," taking another sip of your chocolate milk.

Natasha whispered to Maria, "This should be good."

You heard the elevator doors open to the common area. "Alright, where is she?"

"In here!" you called out, standing up and taking physical inventory just before Wanda entered the kitchen.

"You better not be looking at your phone or watching television because—" Wanda stopped in her tracks at the sight of you standing.

"You're... you're standing," she said, subdued by shock.

"Yeah, two more weeks with the walking boot and the sling, and then I'm fully mobile again," you said, a small smile curling your lips.

Wanda stood silently for a moment before running toward you. "This is wonderful, y/n. I'm so happy for you," she said, wrapping her arms around you.

You grunted slightly as she inadvertently squeezed your left side.

"I'm sorry!" she said, pulling back quickly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, still a bit sore on this side, that's all."

Wanda ran her hand softly over your side before looking into your eyes and then down at your lips. You sensed her intention as she kissed you gently.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Maria's voice cut through your intimate moment.

"Nat, Maria, when did you get here?" Wanda asked.

"Oh my God," Natasha exasperated. She pulled your phone out of her back pocket and handed it to Wanda. Maria simply wiggled her eyebrows and gave you a knowing smile as she followed Nat out of the room.

*^~^*

You lay propped up on Wanda's bed. You didn't change any of the decor, but the simple addition of your favorite books and fluffy blanket made her room feel more like home to you. Truthfully, you relished the opportunity to learn more about Wanda as you took in the intricacies of her favorite things meticulously placed with care around the space. Wanda traced shapes on your arm as she rested her head in your lap.

"That's a beautiful painting," you said, admiring the landscape on the wall above her armoire.

"It's the Valley of Sokovia," Wanda said lifting her head to follow your eyes. "My grandmother Katerina was a gifted painter. Before the war broke out, she would paint a variety of Sokovian landscapes across the country. She used to say that painting was her soul upon the canvas, a story of colors and rising hope.”

"I've admired it every day since I've been here. It's exquisite."

"It was on my grandparents' wall forever. It felt like it spoke directly to my soul in a language I knew at my birth. I wanted so much to paint like my grandma when I was a little girl, but Pietro and I had to grow up quickly and suddenly learning to paint didn't seem so important anymore," Wanda said, fidgeting with her hands. "After they passed, my mother hung the painting in mine and Pietro's bedroom to remind us that our home was beautiful. Not just a war-torn country forgotten by the rest of the world."

Your face softened at her story. "I'm so sorry that you grew up under those circumstances."

Wanda let out a deep sigh, her mind lost in memories of the past. “Despite the tumultuous times, there were moments of pure joy and happiness that I cherish dearly. Playing with Pietro, the aroma of our mother's homemade Paprikash in the air during family dinners. The nights spent watching classic American sitcoms with our father to improve our English.”

You listened to Wanda reminisce so vividly that you could almost see the memories dancing in the reflection of her eyes.

“They were simple yet beautiful moments that instilled a sense of gratitude in me. They remind me of all the blessings I have in my life - my health, my newfound family, my adorable boys. She hesitated for a moment before adding, "And you."

You looked down at Wanda staring up at you and couldn't help but smile.

"I feel the same way. The magic is in the little things,” you said, running your hand through her hair. "I was thinking... we haven't had our first official date yet, and I would love to take you out this weekend," staring down at Wanda's head in your lap. "If that's something you would like to do, of course," you added quickly.

"You're so cute," Wanda said, reaching up and caressing your cheek. "That is something I would very much like to do."

Your stomach exploded in butterflies. "Okay! Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Umm, Saturday. Is Saturday good?" you asked, rambling happily.

"Perfect. Billy and Tommy are having a sleepover at a friend's house, so I'm all yours. What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm, I think you'll just have to wait and see," you smirked. "I want it to be a surprise."

*^~^*

“Help me!” You shouted as you burst into Yelena’s room.

“I would be careful about shouting that particular phrase in this building,” Yelena answered calmly. The blonde didn’t even bother to look up, too occupied with polishing her widow bites. “You’re liable to turn around to a variety of weapons pointed in your direction, candy maker.”

“I need some advice.”

“Is that so?” Putting down her widow bite and raising an eyebrow at you. “Well, it just so happens that I am excellent with the advice.”

“What happened?!!” Kate bursts in bow and arrow drawn with Carol by her side, hands glowing blue.

You tried to duck a potential shot, but you still didn’t have your balance and proceeded to fall back on your butt.

“See what I mean?” Yelena smirked.

“Jesus!” Your heart pounding. “Everything is fine, I just wanted Yelena’s advice on something.”

“Oh,” Lowering her bow with an heir of disappointment.

“We’ll just go then,” Carol said.

“No, wait. You can stay too. I need all the help I can get.”

Kate circled back to Yelena’s bed and Carol helped you up onto the couch with her.

Wanda and I are going on our first official date this weekend, and I was wondering—“

“Oh my god! That is so exciting!” Kate shouted. “Where are you taking her? Well, probably somewhere amazing, right? I mean it would have to be to impress the Scarlet Witch. That’s a lot of pressure. Wow, are you nervous? What are you going to do?”

You blinked a couple of times, as everything Kate just said hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Holy shit. What was I thinking? I don’t know what I’m doing. She deserves the best, I should just tell her I have to cancel,” you rambled as the blonde widow stood and walked toward you. “What excuse do you think would work best? Maybe—Ouch!”

Yelena gave you a soft slap across the face.

“What was that for?!” Touching your cheek.

“You were spiraling. Granted, it was Kate Bishop’s fault,” glaring over at the young archer. “Trust me when I say this, y/n. Wanda's outlook on life has changed significantly in the past year. What the little witch cares most about are her boys, everything else is secondary. Which means she must care about you to bring you into her world. Trust your gut, she will love anything you plan as long as you're together.”

“Wanda is sentimental,” Carol added. “She would love a date that you put some meaningful thought into planning.

“Sentimental and meaningful,” the wheels turn slowly inside your head.

Okay, Thank you three. This was helpful,” rising slowly from the sofa. “I’ll see you later.”

*^~^*

“You’re supposed to be resting!” Nat called out between punches.

“I was!” you shouted from the side of the ring. “I need your advice!”

The widow dodged her opponent’s punch then twisted his arm behind his back and pinned him to the mat.

“Take five, Bennett,” rustling the trainee agent’s hair before standing and walking towards you.

“What’s up?” Stepping out of the ring and wiping her face with a towel.

“Wanda and I are going on our first official date this weekend and I was hoping you could give me some insight on what she would appreciate?”

“Hmm,” taking a sip of water from her water bottle. “Wanda appreciates thoughtfulness, y/n. I know that sounds ambiguous, but it's true. Show her you're paying attention.”

*^~^*

The car arrived at Wanda's house at 7:00 pm sharp. You had wanted to pick her up yourself, but Helen and Bruce forbade it. They insisted that you needed to fully recover, with no shortcuts. This was how you found yourself in the back seat of Stark's 1959 Racing Green Aston Martin.

"Thank you so much for offering to drive tonight, Pepper," you said.

"No problem, y/n. We're happy to play a small part in your special evening," Pepper replied.

"Not to mention, your little destination is down the street from one of our favorite restaurants," Tony added from the front seat.

You grabbed the single red rose from beside you and took a deep breath.

"You got this, Willy Wonka!" Tony cheered.

You rolled your eyes at his nickname for you as you got out of the car. Walking up the embellished concrete path to her front door, you couldn't help but feel nervous. Stepping up onto the porch, you looked back at Tony and Pepper, smiling and giving you a thumbs up.

You took one final cleansing breath before ringing the doorbell. You heard footsteps on the other side of the door a few moments later, straightening your suede coat and running a hand through your hair just as Wanda opened the door.

"Hi," she said softly, blushing at you.

"Hi, wow, you look beautiful," you said, taking in her appearance.

Her red hair was styled in an updo bun. A few loose strands fell down the sides of her face. A white peasant blouse, light-wash jeans, and brown boots completed the look.

"Thank you. I wasn't sure if this was okay since you wouldn't tell me where we are going. You said casual date night..." she trailed off as she slipped on a rust-colored corduroy jacket.

"It's perfect," you said, handing her the rose.

"Oh my. Thank you, y/n. It's lovely."

"I was going to get you a whole bouquet, but I didn't want you to have to carry it or stop to put it in water," you rambled.

"It's perfect," she repeated your words.

You offered her your hand as you stepped off the porch.

She looked down at you and giggled, "I should be the one offering you a hand, sweetheart. You're down to two working limbs."

"I believe in chivalry," you said, smiling at the redhead.

You walked to the car and opened the door for Wanda. As she slid in, you followed behind her.

"Hi Wanda, good to see you," Pepper said.

"Good to see you too. Thank you so much for driving us tonight," Wanda replied.

"Okay, kids. Off we go," Tony announced. "Please keep your hands, legs, feet, and arms inside the car at all times."

*^~^*

The car slowed to a stop at the corner of Washington Street and Chester Avenue.

"Alright. Have fun, you two," Tony smirked.

"We'll pick you up in a bit," Pepper added.

“Okay, thank you again for the drive,” you said. “Enjoy your dinner!”

You watched the car drive off before reaching for Wanda's hand. She took your hand in hers and smiled at you.

"So, are you finally going to tell me where we're going?"

"You'll see," you sang as you walked hand in hand down the sidewalk a dozen or so yards before stopping in front of a shop.

Wanda looked up at the storefront lit up with fairy lights and read the sign:

Pinot's Palette

"What is this y/n?"

"You said you always wanted to learn to paint like your grandmother. I thought you might like to start tonight," you explained. "I signed us up for a 45-minute Paint and Sip class. They give you step-by-step instructions on how to paint a really beautiful picture, and there's wine and appetizers. I thought it could be fun," you trailed off shyly.

"I don't know what to say, I- this is so thoughtful, y/n. Truly."

"Shall we?" you asked, opening the door for her. You were greeted immediately by a tall brunette with glasses.

"Welcome to Pinot's Palette! I'm Sarah, your instructor for the evening. Your class starts in about 20 minutes, so you can go ahead and grab a glass of wine and some appetizers in the meantime."

"This place is so cute!" Wanda said.

"Agreed," you replied, admiring the warm and intimate space. A variety of paintings was displayed proudly on the walls from past classes.

Wanda poured both of you a glass of Pinot Noir. You swirled the glass a bit before taking a sip.

"Mhmm, delicious," you said.

"Definitely on the dryer side. Medium body with bright acidity," Wanda said, letting the wine breathe before taking another sip. "Silky tannins, with hints of raspberries, cherries, and vanilla."

You simply stared in astonishment. "Okay, that was incredibly sexy. How do you know so much about wine?"

"You don't know everything about me yet," Wanda smirked as she turned and walked toward the food spread.

You followed closely behind her like a lovesick puppy.

*^~^*

"Okay, welcome to Saturday Night Sip and Paint class, everyone. Tonight we're going to paint a simple yet beautiful full-moon lake scene. So let's get started!"

You and Wanda followed along as Sarah demonstrated each step on her canvas at the front of the class. You were thankful that it was your non-dominant arm in the sling, so you could still paint.

You started by mixing the perfect tints for your masterpieces. But, you couldn’t seem to get it right. Yours were uneven and messy, while Wanda's were solid and smooth.

Frustrated, you mutter to yourself, "This shouldn't be this difficult. I mix chocolate for a living, I should be able to mix paint." As you look up, you notice Wanda giggling at your struggles.

“You're enjoying this, aren't you?”

“Just a little bit.”

You can't resist the opportunity to make her smile. You dip your finger in the white paint on your palette and playfully boop Wanda's nose, leaving a white dot behind. She looks at you with a mix of surprise and amusement.

“Stop it, y/n. You’re going to get us in trouble,” she whispered, laughing softly.

“Okay, but honestly, you look adorable.”

*^~^*

"Your backgrounds look great!" Sarah said, walking by and admiring what you and Wanda had painted. "Ooh, Wanda! I love how you used a bit of Prussian blue in the corners. It adds depth."

Wanda beamed with pride as you smiled at her. You were having a wonderful time with her, and you didn't want it to end.

That is pretty,” you added. “Not to mention, my favorite color.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, I’ve always loved a strong blue,” washing your brush in the glass of water.

“Any particular reason?”

You sighed and shrugged your shoulders. “It’s tranquil and calm. Two things that I’ve tried to bring more of into my life over the years.”

“I know how you feel,” the redhead empathized, as she took another sip of wine. “The last year of my life was so chaotic, I vowed from now on to only surround myself with things and people who bring me a sense of serenity.”

You nodded in understanding, as Sarah grabbed the attention of the class again.

“Alright everyone, now we’re going to add the moon to our paintings. It’s really simple, everyone go ahead and pick up a spare paper plate,” holding one up. “Then trace around the edge like this to make a circle.”

You watched as Wanda traced her moon. Her tongue adorably poking out of the side of her mouth in concentration.

“There we go!”

She looked over at you, still sitting there with your paper plate in your one good hand looking down at your sling.

“Oh, I’m sorry y/n. Here, let me help you.”

“It’s okay, Wanda. I got it.”

You put down the plate, picked up your small brush, and dipped it in the off-white paint. In one fluid motion, you painted a perfect circle.

“Wow, that was smooth. How did you do that?”

“When you work in a sweet shop and you make a living scooping ice cream or frosting cupcakes all day, it bodes well if you can make a perfect circle,” you giggled.

“Hmm, I see,” lips pursed to stop herself from smiling. “I wonder what other hidden talents you’re keeping from me.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Wiggling your eyebrows and taking a sip of your wine.

After you added the silhouette of the pine trees to your paintings and the reflections and ripples in the water, you were on to the final touch of adding stars and a comet to the sky.

You dipped your fan brush in the white paint and flicked it toward the canvas to create a random star pattern. Picking up your liner brush, you added a comet to your sky. Everyone signed and dated their paintings. You added a small heart in the corner of your canvas to serve as a reminder of your first date with Wanda. You looked over at the redhead to see that she was adding a second comet into her sky.

“Two comets? Now that is a miracle.”

“One for Billy and one for Tommy. They’re my miracles.”

“They certainly are,” kissing her cheek as she finished her painting. “I hope I get to meet them someday.”

“I think you will,” smiling at you.

After class, everyone had a photo taken with their finished painting. You both held them up proudly as Sarah used Wanda’s phone to take the picture.

“Thank you so much, Sarah. We had a wonderful time,” you said, hugging the young woman.

“Yes, I’m going to tell all my friends about this place. It was wonderful,” Wanda added.

“It was my pleasure. You two come back anytime.”

*^~^*

As you left the shop and stepped into the cold night air, you quickly sent a text to Pepper to let her know that you were finished. She responded promptly, telling you that they had just paid the bill and would be there shortly.

"Tony and Pepper will be here in a few minutes. Shall we sit?" you asked, gesturing to a green metal bench a few yards away.

"Sure. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you still need to take it easy just because we’re out and about tonight,” leading you to the bench.

You sat down next to her and took in her profile, feeling a surge of affection. You had always felt that Wanda was different, not just because she was one of Earth’s mightiest heroes, but because she was sweet and genuine. You couldn’t wait to see where your journey together would take you. Wanda looked over at you, sensing that you were staring.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm just so happy to be here with you."

"Me too,” loose strands of her red hair blowing in the soft night wind.

Slowly, you leaned in and kissed her, feeling her warmth and love. Your stomach exploded with joy at Wanda's touch. Suddenly, the sound of a car horn broke you from your reverie as Tony pulled up beside you and rolled down the window.

"Excuse me, hi. I'm looking for a witch and a candy maker for a live-action Hansel and Gretel," Tony joked.

"You're an idiot," Wanda deadpanned, sliding into the backseat next to you.

"No funny business in the backseat, you two," Tony warned as he pulled away from the curb.

“How was your painting class?” Pepper asked

“It was wonderful,” Wanda said, holding up her painting.

"You painted that? Wanda, that is gorgeous!" Pepper exclaimed.

"She's a natural," you said, stroking her hand with your thumb.

"You flatter me.”

“It’s true. Your grandmother would be proud.”

Wanda blushed at your compliment as you leaned over and kissed her cheek.

*^~^*

Tony slowed to a stop in front of the redhead’s house. You stepped out of the car and walked the her to the front door, clutching her painting and the single red rose you gifted her. She unlocked the door and set the painting and rose down just inside the entryway.

"I had an amazing time tonight, y/n. It was so special, I couldn't ask for anything more," Wanda said, smiling at you.

"Me too, it was wonderful. I asked everyone for advice because I wanted our first date to be perfect. Then I remembered the story you told me about your grandmother’s painting, and I knew-" You were cut off by Wanda's lips on yours. The kiss was filled with passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment.

As you pulled apart, her hand trailed down your cheek and she smiled, biting down on her lower lip. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, y/n."

"Okay. Goodnight, Wanda," you said, watching her walk inside and close the door behind her.

You turned around to see Tony and Pepper ducking down in their seats, pretending they weren't watching you from the car. "Subtle," you said, sliding into the backseat and shutting the car door.

“We didn’t say anything,” Tony said, holding his hands up in defense.

Once you arrived back at the compound, you immediately got into your pajamas and removed your walking boot. You were exhausted from the excitement of the night, but it was worth it. As you snuggled into your covers, your phone dinged. You opened the notification to see the picture Sarah took of you and Wanda holding up your paintings. Wanda had texted you: "I had a great time tonight. Every moment with you is a work of art."

You blushed profusely as you read her text before sending back your reply: "I have a beautiful muse.

Placing your phone on back on your nightstand, you laid back down. Adjusting your sling, you placed your good hand behind your head and stared up at the darkness of the ceiling, lost for words. You couldn't believe that Wanda Maximoff had left you speechless. It was the first of many times she would do so.

#guardian angel #wanda maximoff #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #natasha romanoff #maria hill #yelena boleva #kate bishop #carol danvers #tony stark #pepper potts #mcu #the avengers #fluff #romance #first date

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checkingoutforheroes · 10 months

Text

B.A.B.Y PROTOCOL

Part 4.

Avengers x fem!reader

Words: 1333

Synopsis: This takes place in Avengers: Age of Ultron. When The Avengers were at the rock bottom, Nick Fury and advised by Maria Hill, to initiate the B.A.B.Y Protocol. Will a young, damaged and broke girl agree to this initiative and help a team to save this planet earth?

Part 3

Main Masterlist

“There, that’s the truck from the lab. Right above you, Cap. By the bridge, it’s them. Got three with the cradle. I can take out the driver.” Clint was ready to shoot the truck but Steve disagree. “Negative. The truck crash, the gem could level the city. We need to draw out Ultron.” He jumps on the truck to get its attention.

Well, he did get its attention and it pissed. “No, no, no. Leave me alone!” Ultron shoot the truck door almost hit Steve. “Well, he is really unhappy! I’m trying to keep it that way!” Steve shouted while hanging on the broken door.

“You’re not a match for him, Cap.” Clint stated. “Thanks Barton.” Steve muttered.

Natasha sees the situation from their jet. “He needs help.” “I guess you wanna unpack your birthday present.” Clint told her to go behind the jet and wait for his queue. She pressed the button for the metal box and saw an electric Harley Davidson and mutter to herself. “That’s a birthday present.” She hops on the bike and waiting for Clint’s to open the bay. “We got a window. In 3,2, give him hell.”

The fights between them and the robots can take too much time and damaged. Natasha make other plans to their original plan of taking the cradle safely because it’s not working out so safe. “This isn’t going nowhere. Clint, can you draw the guards out?”

Clint shooting at Ulron in front of Steve trying to lure the minions out. “Let’s find out.” Three of the guard out and the truck is empty.

“Cap, keep him occupied. I’m going in!” Natasha drop her bike and jump into the truck.

Steve let out an exhausting breath. “What do you think I’ve been doing?”

Meanwhile at the tower, you walk on Maria and Fury’s discussion. “How’s everything? Did they get him?” Maria and Fury acknowledge your present and she pull a chair for you. “You should be on bed.” You just sat slowly on it. “Nah, I’ve been worse. This is nothing.”

Maria rolling her eyes at you. “You’ve been dead for 6 minutes until Tony change your device. What are worse than that?” You don’t have answer for that and Fury coming at you too. “And when are you planning on telling us? Next Christmas?” “I don’t even ask for it and I like to keep it shut. It’s not something to be proud of.” He huffs, “Once this is over, you’re going to see a doctor.” “Why everybody keeps telling me to find a doctor? I’ve been fine all this time. I’m here not to be taking care of. I’m here because the world is at stake and I’m here to help. Doing something, at least.”

“Proof that. Until then, you’re off the mission. Agent Hill, follow me to pick up our old stuff back.” Fury order. “Can I tag along?” Maria turns to you. “We’ll be back. Why don’t you help us monitoring them for us? Use this for contact and maybe help Stark and Banner. But please, for the love of God, don’t ever piss him off.” She walks out of the room, following Fury.

Bruce notice you’re walking towards them. “How’s your feeling?” “Just another day at the office. Still getting the hang of it.”

Tony and Bruce watched and heard some of your conversation earlier. “Gotta admit. I adore your spirit.” Tony expressed. “I never thank you, to both of you yet. Thank you, for saving my life.” Bruce smiling softly and nod. “You’re welcome.”

“Are you kidding? We’re a team. We’re the Avengers. Once you step a foot in this building, you’re the Avengers. We help each other. Well, maybe some of us being a pain in ass but yeah, you’re one of us now. Welcome to the club kid.” Tony reasoned it for you and your eyes lit up on them. “Really? You mean that? Am I, an Avengers?” Tony looking at Bruce while he continues working on his computer. “Bruce. Back me up here.” “I don’t see why not. You’re young and we’re all above 30. We can use a fresh blood.” “Legacy. Thanks Shrek.” Tony responded and you let out a chuckle “I guess you’re the one being the pain in ass.” “Everyone asses” Bruce nod down and we’ll continue our work.

While trying to crack the code for that cradle, Natasha feels the truck lifting. “The package just air borne. I have a clean shot.” Clint tell them on the comm. “Negative. I am still in the truck.” she needs to think fast.

“What the hell did you...” Natasha cut his sentences while cutting the rope that tied to the cradle. “Just be ready. I’m sending the package to you.”

Clint ready on his position. “How do you want me to take it?”

“Uhhh… You might wish you didn’t ask that.”

Wanda fly in the train to help Steve and front the Ultron. “Please. You don’t have to do that.” Somehow, Ultron is kinda sound scared and he fly out the train. “Surveillance in our path. Can you stop this train?” Steve ordered and both of them do their best to stop the train and people around it.

Once the cradle touches the Quinn jet floor, Ultron manage to snatch Natasha’s leg and take her with him. “Nat!” Clint saw the incident but he can’t do anything to help her while piloting the jet. “Cap, did you see Nat?”

“If you have the cradle, take it to Stark!” Steve ordered.

“Do you have eyes on Nat?!” Asking again for confirmation.

“Go!” Steve shout.

Wanda telling Steve about what Ultron’s plan. “I read him. Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. We have to move fast.”

He disappointed and fly that jet back to the tower and leave his friend behind. “Damn it!” He contact the tower when he’s close for them to prepare and inform about their current situation. “Quinn jet to tower. Quinn jet to tower.” You hear his voice and press a button to accept his call. “Quinn jet, this is Y/N speaking from the tower. You’re affirm to report.” Clint told you that he’s 15 minutes away to arrive and Natasha is missing in action. “Oh God.” You pull down the headset and running to find Tony and Bruce. “They’ve got Nat. She’s m.i.a.” Bruce takes his glasses off. “You have her tracker right?” Tony rush to his computer “I’ll find her.”

You and Banner helps Clint unload the cradle and bring it into the lab and Tony walks in. Disappointment shows on his face and Bruce ask before I do. “Did you find her?” He just walks straight toward the cradle. “Haven’t heard but I’m sure she’s alive or Ultron would rub us in the face.” Seriously? Did he truly find her at all? You want to ask him that but Clint change the topic. “This seal tight.” He stands next to you.

Tony turn around to look at both of you and Clint, ignoring Bruce. “Is there any chance she might leave a massage outside the internet? Old school spy stuff perhaps.”

“You worry about the cradle.”

“We’ll find her.” Both you and Clint walks out that lab.

Clint handle the modern tech frequency while you handle the old one. “You okay with that? Wanna switch up?” You tuning on the frequency “I’m good. I can’t be near that high tech frequency anyway. That’s why I still have my Walkman and not Bluetooth headset. You know, because my…” You pointing at your left chest and he nodding. “Right. I hope she led us somewhere.” You smile at him. “She’s Natasha. She’ll make plan.”

It is true. Natasha did figure something out. While you tuning the frequency, you hear a static note. Tuning it again to have a clear shot. Natasha sending you her location by Morse code. You tell Clint to decode it on the screen. “You’re right. She did have plan.”

#The Avengers #natasha romanoff #Steve Rogers #clint barton #tony stark #bruce banner #thor #maria hill #wanda maximoff #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x steve rogers #mcu incorrect quotes #avengers incorrect quotes #natasha x reader #wanda x reader

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arlana-likes-to-write · 1 year

Note

Hey, can you write one from that big sister!reader universe where it’s been a few months since they destroyed the red room (the avengers are back together) and the russian family makes a surprise birthday party for reader? the first one she got. like melina found out their birthday documents and they make one bc she needs this normalcy and the stuff she was deprived 😭😭😭 you can include the avengers bc they want to meet her too like nat told them what she did for nat and yelena and the sisters make an emotional speech for reader. i need to cry with them more jdjfk

Loved this request! I hope you like it!

Promise? (Part 2 of Lean on Me)

Word Count: 4.3k

Warning: Angst with Fluff, mention of Red Room, reader has some issues but they are working on it.

It was a daunting and heartbreaking work as Melina scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of girls still under Dreykov’s control. The map behind her was littered with pins of different colors. Green ones were Widows that were exposed to the gas, yellow were ones they weren’t sure if they’ve gone through the chemically subjugation, and red were ones that still needed to be saved. Unfortunately, there were more yellows and reds than greens. Melina sighed, seconds from calling it a night when she came across a file. Your file. It seemed like an invasion of privacy. Although, your relationship had improved in the two months based. But Melina had a curious mind. “Mama,” you said, opening the door. She minimized the file. “Is everything okay?” You always had a way of knowing when someone’s emotions were off. Melina shook her head.

“Just tired.” You nodded. Melina knew you were too. You’ve taken the lead on organizing the Widows that stayed to help. But you took on the higher rank Widows on your own to prevent the others from getting hurt. Too many times, Melina has had to patch you up.

“Well, I made dinner. Come take a break and pick this up tomorrow.” Melina smiled.

“Let me finish this and I’ll be right out.” You glared at her.

“5 minutes. If you aren’t out I’ll drag you out of here.” Melina knew you were serious.

“5 minutes.” You smiled, leaving her office. “Thank you, dorogoy (sweetheart).” You nodded and closed her door. Melina reopened your file. You needed a break. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, Melina saw how tired you were. To her surprise, your birthday was in 2 weeks. Black Widows didn’t celebrate birthdays even in Ohio. Pictures were taken to fill a photo album to give the illusion of an American family No presents. No decorations. She pulled out her phone and texted Natasha, ‘I have a plan. But I need help. I’ll call you.’

“I can’t come to New York.” You said to Yelena as you stepped out of the bathroom. It was a quick walk down the hall to your room. You closed the door behind you. Your youngest sister was with you for a month before returning to New York. You knew the Accords were dissolved and Yelena had to go help. The blonde groaned.

“And why not?” She asked.

“Because there are too many Widows that need saving,” you said, sitting on your bed. The number seemed to be growing everyday, 1 Widow saved and 10 more were still trapped. “I can’t abandon them.”

“You aren’t.” Yelena said softly. But you were. If only you acted quicker. You saw the signs but you stayed quiet. You followed orders. If only you were brave enough to stand up to him. “Hey,are you still with me?” Her voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m here.” You told her.

“Look, you are no good to those girls if you don’t take care of yourself.” She was right, you knew she was. “You could assign some lower level Widows to Soyna and the others and take a break.” You didn’t respond. Did you deserve a break? “You could meet Maria.” The idea of giving the shovel talk to Natasha’s girlfriend did sound like a good time. “And we want you to meet everyone.” You sighed.

“Fine, give me a few days to get things settled here and all catch a flight.” You said.

“No need. Just tell us when you are ready and Tony will send a Quinjet to pick you up.” Fancy.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, sestra.” You said your good-byes and hung up. You laid on your back staring up at the ceiling. It was going to be a busy few days.

You stood by the back of the Quinjet landed. The door opened and your sisters were waiting for you. You smiled as the ramp descended and you walked out into the New York sun. The sun felt different than in St. Petersburg. Yelena smiled and hugged you as soon as you landed on solid ground. You laughed, hugging the youngest tight. “Welcome to New York.” She said, letting you go so you could say hi to Natasha. She cut her hair to a bop and dyed it blonde. You felt a little left out not being a blonde.

“You look,” Natasha paused. “Tired.” You rolled your eyes.

“You always know how to make a girl feel welcomed.” You pulled her into a hug. “I like the blonde.” You told her.

“She just wanted to be like me,” Yelena joked. You laughed, shaking your head. Natasha glared at Yelena and began to walk towards the door. “She doesn’t like that joke very much.” You smiled, putting your arm around her shoulders and quickly followed Natasha. “So, how was your flight?”

“Good,” you told her. “Where was that when we were breaking dad out of prison?” Yelena chuckled.

“It would have been handy,” Natasha was waiting by the door with 2 men you recognized immediately; Captain America and Iron Man.

“Well Rushman,” you didn’t recognize the name. “This is the infamous sister Black Widow Jr. won’t stop talking about.” You caught a slight blush on Yelena’s cheeks.

“And you must be Tony Stark.” You said, offering your hand for the man to shake. He took it.

“What gave it away?” He questioned. “The dashing smile or the good looks.”

“The annoying personality.” You deadpanned. Your sisters laughed. Tony’s smile didn’t falter.

“I like her.” You rolled your eyes and looked at the super soldier.

“Steve Rogers,” he said, shaking your hand. His grip was strong and firm. “It’s nice to put a face to the name.” You smiled

“It’s nice to meet you, Captain.”

“Come on. We’ll show you your room.” Natasha said. You nodded, following her into the compound. Tony explained the features of the building; from the AI system ro the training area and everything in between. You entered the kitchen and saw a brunette and a man (you weren’t sure what he was). When the brunette looked up from a bowl, she gasped and ran over to you.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She hugged you. You were surprised by the sudden hug. “Sorry, we’ve heard so much about you.” You looked at your sisters, who wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“So I’ve noticed.” You said.

“I’m Wanda,” the brunette said. The man came up to stand next to her.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. I’m Vision.” You shook his hand and you were surprised by the feeling. You said your hellos and continued to follow Natasha and Yelena to your room.

“We are right down the hall,” Yelena said, opening the door and letting you step it. The room was spacious and it had a window overlooking the property, a private bathroom, and a walk in closet. You set your bag down.

“Thank you,” you said. Natasha shrugged as if it was no big deal. It was to you.

“We’ll let you get settled in. Wanda is cooking lunch.” She said. You nodded as they began to leave you alone.

“Wait,” you said. Natasha turned back to face you. You smiled, walking over to her. You saw her get a little nervous, an emotion you rarely saw. “Where’s the girlfriend?” You questioned. “I met everyone else except her.” Her eyes widened slightly but she recovered quickly. Yelena giggled.

“Technically, you didn’t meet Sam and Rhodey. Thor and Bruce are off-world.” You crossed your arms, one hip popping to the side. You weren’t buying it. Natasha sighed. “She’s on a mission.”

“How convenient.” You said.

“You aren’t going to threaten her,” she said, pointing her finger at you. You pushed her finger out of your face.

“I wasn’t going to, Natalia.” Maybe a little bit. “I just want to meet the woman who makes my little Tasha so happy.” You cooed, pinching her cheeks. Yelena laughed as Natasha swatted your hands away.

“I don’t like you.” You rolled your eyes.

“You’ll get over it.” You put your duffle bag on your bed and began to unpack. You were grateful to be with them.

To be fair, you lost track of time and you expected Natasha or Yelena to come find you. You were sitting on your bed, back resting on the headboard and typing on your laptop. You promised Melina that you wouldn’t work and worry about them in St. Petersburg. But you couldn’t resist. “What are you doing?” Yelena asked, walking into your room. You slammed your laptop close. “Are you working?” You were caught.

“I well I,” you sighed. “Yes.” You admitted. “I was just making sure everything is okay.” Yelena sat next to you. She took your laptop off your lap.

“They are going to be fine.” You knew they were more than capable of dealing with it. But your entire life you’ve followed orders and worked to accomplish a mission. You didn’t know how to do nothing. “But you aren’t if you don’t take a break.” You sighed, looking at her.

“I thought I was supposed to look after you.”

“And you have,” she said. “Now it’s our turn to look after you,” she stood up and held out her hand. You took it and allowed the blonde to pull you to your feet. “Now come on! Steve is in the training room and everyone wants to watch you kick Captain America’s ass.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.”

You made it 2 days before opening your laptop again. You really tried to do it for Yelena but the guilt was eating you up. So, you were sitting at the kitchen island with your laptop and a cup of coffee. Things were fine. Soyna and the other girls were doing great but you needed to do something. “Well you're new,” a voice behind you caused you to turn around. You recognized the woman right away. Maria Hill. Her brown hair was damp from a recent shower and she was wearing sweatpants and a SHIELD shirt. She must have returned from her mission.

“Maria Hill.” She didn’t look surprised that you knew her name. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, and filled it with water.

“They said you were good at what you do,” you did your research on the agent as soon as Yelena told you about the new relationship. But you did catch a picture of her on Natasha’s phone. You smiled.

“Of course,” she said. “I have to know the most important people in both of my sister’s lives.” You went back to work on your laptop, taking a sip of your coffee. You felt her eyes on you. She was waiting for the threat but you weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of offering it now. You were one of Dreykov’s best interrogators for a reason.

“Moya lyubov' (my love), what-” you turned around to see Natasha. Oh this was becoming a great night. Her face was in shock.

“Natalia,” you said. “Why don’t you join us?” She slowly walked over to you, moving to stand next to her girlfriend. You had to admit, they were cute together. A strange feeling formed in your chest. You pushed away the feeling and smiled at the couple, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Yelena already gave me the shovel talk,” she admitted.

“It wasn’t really threatening,” Natasha added. “It was cute.” Awe, that’s adorable. You made a mental note to talk to Yelena about that.

“So, can we get the threat to kill me if I break your heart out of the way? I’m tired.” You closed your laptop and rested your head on your hands. You were still smiling even though Natasha looked like she was going to pass out.

“I’m not gonna threaten to kill you or list all the many ways I could because you know what my sisters are capable of,” You almost laughed at the shocked expression on their face. “So I’ll give you this. I don’t know you well and you don’t know me but I know that you managed to do something very special.” You looked at your sister. “You captured her heart, which is not an easy thing to do. So that speaks volume to the person you are. Don’t waste that gift.” Maria stared at you, blinking slowly.

“Uh thank you,” she said. “I won’t.” You noticed the tears forming in Natasha’s eyes.

“That being said, if you do break her heart, I won’t kill you because she’d never speak to me again.” Natasha smiled. “But I will make your life a living hell that death will be a blessing.” Maria stood up straighter at the threat. “I was Dreykov’s favorite for a reason. Do I make myself clear?” She nodded.

“Yes.” You smiled.

“Good, now go get some sleep you crazy kids.” Maria chuckled.

“It was nice meeting you.”

“You as well.” She walked back to where you believed her room was. But Natasha didn’t follow her. Instead she walked over to you and kissed you on your cheek. The action surprised you.

“Thank you,” she said. “You need sleep too.” You nodded.

“I’ll be going to bed soon.” You watched Natasha walk over to Maria, who waited for her and took her hand. You smiled at the sight and stopped yourself from opening your laptop. You headed to bed.

They were up to something. You’ve been at the Avenger compound for a little over a week and were loving every second of you. You trained with Steve, had late nights with Tony and Rhodey in the lap, Wanda was teaching you and Vision how to cook, and you went on runs with Sam in the woods near the compound. But your favorite was spending time with Yelena and Natasha and getting to know Maria. With all that, you were a trained Black Widow so something was going on. It started with a girls weekend trip to New York City. It was your first time in the City so you allowed them to drag you around the city like a tourist. You went to the Top of the Rock, visited the Statue of Liberty, and ate your way around China Town and Little Italy. It was the most fun you’ve had in your entire life.

It was Sunday 1830 and you were packing up your duffle bag to head back to the compound. “So, how was your weekend?” Maria asked, standing by the door to your room. Tony rented out a small apartment for your weekend trip.

“A lot of fun,” you told her. “Never had a girl’s trip like this before.” You knew the Avengers knew some of the details of why you were separated from your sisters for so long. But you didn’t know how much they knew, the things you had to do for him. Maria sighed.

“Thank you,” She said. You gave yourself whiplash on how fast you looked at her.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned. “What are you thanking me for?” She walked over to you, arms still crossed against her chest.

“Thank you for what you did for them.” Oh. You weren’t expecting a thank you from her. “You sacrificed a lot for them and because of that they’ve accomplished a lot and saved lives including my own. So thank you.” You were rendered a little speechless. You cleared your throat.

“Uh of course. They’re family. I'll do anything for them,” you scratched the back of your head. “I’m gonna be honest I don’t know how to accept a ‘thank you.’” Maria smiled, patting you on the shoulder.

“They were the same way,” she told you. “Just surround yourself with good people and it will get easier.” You nodded. “I’ll let you finish packing.” She walked back to the door.

“Maria,” you called out to her. She stopped and looked back. “Thank you for making sure they were okay while I was still in Russia.” She nodded.

“Of course, they’re family.” She left you alone to finish packing.

You were quiet on the flight back to the compound. You used the quick flight to observe your sisters. Natasha was cuddling up against Maria while she read a book. She would run her fingers through your sister’s hair. Yelena was showing Wanda photos she took on her camera, she was becoming interested in photography. That weird feeling formed in your chest again. It was tight and it hurt to breathe. You closed your eyes and swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat. Yelena said your name. You opened your eyes.

“Are you okay?” She asked. You put on a smile and nodded.

“Yeah, just a little tired.”

“Get some sleep. We have about 30 minutes.” Wanda said. You got comfortable and closed your eyes. You slowed your breathing to give the illusion that you’ve fallen asleep but you couldn’t sleep with this feeling still here.

Natasha stopped you before you could enter the compound. You raised your eyebrows at her. “We debated if this should be a surprise or give you a warning because sometimes Black Widows don’t react well to surprises.”

“She almost broke my arm when I planned a date for her.” Maria said. The group laughed but you were focused on your sister.

“What’s going on?” You questioned.

“There are people in there,” she said. “Waiting for you. Just don’t attack them.” You nodded as Natasha opened the door. Yelena grabbed your hand and grabbed you into the compound. You immediately heard voices and music. Soon the common area came into view and Steve was the first one to see you. He made a motion with his hands.

“Happy Birthday!” The room cheered. The sound startled you. You looked at Yelena.

“Happy Birthday, sestra.” You looked at the group. The Avengers were there along with Melina, Alexei, and a few of the Widows you’ve saved.

“Birthday?” You questioned. Widows don’t have birthdays. As soon as you entered the Red Room your past was erased. You became a new person as they rebuilt you.

“Melina found your file with your birthday,” Natasha said, standing on your other side. The older Black Widow walked over to you at the mention of her name. “She figured that since you needed a break this would be a perfect opportunity.” In one day you were stunned into silence twice.

“Is this okay?” Yelena asked. You nodded.

“Yeah it is.” You put on a smile. “Thank you mama.” You said, hugging Melina.

“Of course,” she said. “Now let’s eat before Alexei eats all the food.” You laughed and walked into the party with your sisters and Melina.

You weren’t sure how to act at a birthday party as this was your first. But you put on a smile and acted like nothing was wrong. You drank, ate food, and laughed along with the people around you. You did a great job ignoring the looks Wanda was sending you. You even got to open presents; which consisted of books from Steve, a kitchen knife set that was engraved from Wanda and Vision, Maria gifted you a vest, Rhodey and Sam got you tickets to a Yankees’ game, and Tony got you a motorcycle that matched the ones he made for Natasha and Yelena. But the best gifts were from your family. Melina made you a photo album, it was filled with pictures from Ohio but also current ones and there were little notes from the Widows that you saved on some of the pages. Alexei gifted you a necklace. The charm was a blue jay and he explained that the bird symbolizes protection and fearlessness. You were surprised by how much he knew about the bird. You let him place it on your neck. Natasha and Yelena did a joint gift, they gave you a ring. The ring came in a set of 3, one for each of you. “It’s a touch ring,” Yelena explained. “So when you touch yours ours will light up.”

“No matter where we are, we will always be together.” Natasha smiled. You put the ring on your finger. You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Thank you. Thank you all of you.” You said.

“Cake time.” Wanda said, disappearing into the kitchen. She returned with a chocolate cake.

“Before we dig in I like to have a toast,” Tony shoved a drink in your hand. “I would like to thank Tony for helping through this party at the very last minute.” The billionaire waved his hand as if it was no big deal. “But the biggest thanks goes to our sister,” Natasha looked at you. “Because without you, Yelena and I would have none of this.”

“We can never repay you for the sacrifices you made for us,” Yelena continued. “But I hope one day we come close to repaying you.”

You determined that you disliked birthdays. You didn’t like being the center of attention. You were outside on a small balcony, looking up at the night sky as the party raged on inside. It was calmer, peaceful out here. You sighed, staring into your drink. The feeling was still in your chest. You let out a shaky breath trying to get rid of it. But it wasn’t going away. You crushed the paper cup in your hand and the rest of the drink splashed on the ground. “There you are.” You heard Steve say behind you. You didn’t acknowledge the super soldier as he moved to stand next to you. “Are you not enjoying the party?”

“No I am,” you said quickly. “I’m grateful for everything.”

“But?”

“But-,” you sighed, turning to face the party. You watched everyone through the window. Alexei was having an arm wrestling competition with Tony’s Iron Man gauntlet with the help of Rhodey. Sam, Yelena, and a few of the Widows were playing some sort of card game. Melina and Wanda were in the kitchen together, looking over a cookbook. “Do you ever get a tight feeling in your chest? Sometimes it hurts to breathe and it won’t go away.” You looked at him. “But I can’t pinpoint the feeling. Am I going crazy?” He didn’t answer right away. The super soldier stared through the window watching the party.

“It happened a lot when I woke up from being on ice for so long,” he finally said. “I thought I died that day but I woke up in a different world.”

“What is this feeling?” You asked.

“I can’t name it for you. Anxiety is different for everyone. Sometimes it manifests itself in guilt,” Guil? You’ve been dealing with guilt since the moment you stepped foot at the compound. Was it far for you to be enjoying yourself while so many were still trapped? Did you deserve this party? “And jealousy.” Jealousy? You heard Natasha’s laughter from within. Maria’s arms were wrapped around your sister with her head resting on Natasha’s shoulder. “It could be anything.”

“How do you make it go away?” Steve sighed.

“It really never goes away. You just learn to deal with it.” Yelena opened the outside door and shrived when she felt the cold.

“Sestra, we are playing a game and I need a partner.” She said. “We need to beat Natasha and Maria.” You laughed.

“I’ll be right there.” She nodded excitedly, jumping on the ball of her feet and going inside. You looked back at the super soldier.

“They help too,” he said. “Lean on them. Don’t try to be strong by yourself anymore.” You smiled at him.

“Thank you, Steve.”

They party settled down and everyone called it a night. You found yourself on the couch with Yelena and Natasha. Yelena’s head was resting on your lap. Your fingers were running through her hair. The constant movement was putting her to sleep. “Can I ask you a question?” Natasha paused the movie and gave you her full attention. She nodded. “When you were planning on escaping the Red Room, did you ever think about taking me with you?” You asked. “Be honest with me, I won’t get upset.” Natasha sighed.

“No,” she admitted. “If I ever had a chance, I knew I’d only take Yelena with me.” Her truth didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. “You were the strongest one out of the 3 of us.” Her confession surprised you. She played with the matching ring on her finger. “That day in Cuba, I remember it so vividly. I was so scared but you didn’t seem scared at all. You threatened those guards and Alexei and you offered yourself to take our spot. I knew from that day you were far stronger than me.” Your hands stopped moving and Yelena shifted in her sleep. You continued to keep her asleep. “Do you regret it? Your deal with him.”

“No,” you said, with hesitation. “I would do it again. But,” you bite down on your lip.

“You can tell me,” she said. “I won’t be upset.”

“I’ve been having this weird feeling in my chest,” you told her. “Steve calls it anxiety.” You looked down at Yelena. “He says it can manifest itself because of guilt or jealousy.”

“Jealousy?” She questioned. “Are you jealous of Yelena and I?” You shrugged.

“I think I was at first when I saw you and Maria together. But now I’m happy that you are happy,” you reached for Natasha’s hand. “I’m happy that you found this place, Tasha.” She squeezed your hand.

“I promise, sestra, nothing is going to get between us again.”

“Promise?” You held out your pinky. She wrapped her pinky around yours.

“Promise.”

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