#henry tlou x fem!reader

[damn-stark]

Chapter 2 Butterfly

Chapter 2 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I LOVE LOVE ALL YOU GUYS WHO SHOWED THE FIRST CHAPTER SOME LOVE!! I hope you guys stick around and like this chapter!!

Warning- FLUFF :): angst, talks of violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter.

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x05 (half of it)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

*A FEW YEARS BACK*

Stench of flesh swirls in your nose, upsetting your stomach. Pained screams still ring in your ears. And slowly the more the fire eats away at their flesh, the more the infected and the former friends look alike—like nothing but a pile of bones.

It was the first time….the first time you’ve killed someone not turned into one of those monsters. An actual person. That realization doesn’t let you breathe or move; neither your limbs or your eyes.

“I told you to stay behind,” your dads voice breaks you away from the burning bodies.

You blink and look up at him as he turns to face you, and mutter in brittle voice, “daddy—”

“I told you to stay behind!” He bellows and strides over to you to grab you by your arms roughly.

You gasp at the roughness of his grip and the harshness of his voice. As you keep holding his gaze you see emotions he never directs at you; fierce anger that begins to scare you.

“Daddy,” you mutter and shake your head. “I…I was just trying to help you. I…I—”

“You disobeyed me,” he scolds you and grabs onto you tighter. “You could’ve gotten yourself hurt! You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

You glance at the fire burning behind him, and begin to gape like a fish as you try to explain yourself to him through the shame and fear that begin to heighten at the realization of his words.

“I…” you mumble in a quivering voice. “I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to help,” you tell him again and meet his piercing glare. “I just wanted to help you, I saw them,” your voice breaks as tears form in your eyes. “I saw them, they were gonna hurt you! I just wanted to help you!”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

You gasp softly in disbelief, and feel your heart slowly sink at the sound of his sharp words.

“Joel?” You hear your uncle Tommy call.

You snap your watery gaze to him, and see him look down at the way your dad is grabbing onto you. He notices the anger, and slowly puts down his gun to look at your dad in disbelief. You proceed to pull away from your dad as his grip loosens and rush over to your uncle who welcomes you in a much more assuring and less angry way.

That’s when your dad realizes that his anger had gotten the best of him with you. Instead of trying to help you, trying to assure you, he snapped at you out of fear of his own.

“Y/n,” he calls out quietly. “I'm sorry.”

You step away from your uncle Tommy to face your dad, but still avert his gaze out of shame and slight fear. “It’s okay,” you mutter without truly thinking about it.

——

*NOW*

Sunlight dances on the flower patch down below, providing the fluttering butterflies with as much warmth as the sun can provide in the fall.

They’re peaceful insects, quiet and beautiful. Watching them just feed on the flower's nectar is calming in this cruel world, it’s one of the things that brings you peace.

Back in Jackson you grew a flower garden in the backyard of your house just to have them visit, to lay on the ground and read as they fluttered. It’s a silly thing, you oftentimes got picked on by the friends you live with, but what they don’t know is that in that meadow you grew in your backyard is where you see her; in those small purple flowers, in the sweet butterflies that feed off that nectar. That flower meadow is in memory of her, of the sister you had lost, Sarah.

Nevertheless, as you watch them flutter around, the silence that blankets you is broken by approaching footsteps. When you look back you see Sam approaching. You offer him a sweet smile and drag your feet down before you pat the empty spot beside you.

He doesn’t fret and joins your side on the ground. He looks below and then looks at you and takes off the string around his neck to write on the board he carries to communicate.

“What are you doing?” He writes.

Sam hands you the board, and you erase what he wrote to write back, “watching the butterflies.”

Sam leans over and reads the words, and smiles softly before signing with a word you do know now. “Why?”

You shrug and write on the board, “because it’s the closest thing I have to a tv, and I just enjoy watching them. It’s peaceful.”

Sam puts the board down, looks down at the flower patch below to watch the black butterflies mindlessly flutter around with you.

However, you quickly look away to grab his board and write their names that Sarah had told you once. “They’re called Black Swallowtail.” You tap Sam’s shoulder and point to what you wrote.

Sam's eyebrows knit together before he erases the board and signs again since he knows you know this one. “How do you know?”

You shift around and sign back, “S-a-r-a-h. My sister.”

Sam nods in comprehension and then looks down at his board to write, “do they make noise?”

You shake your head and write back, “they’re quiet, like you.”

Sam reads the words and takes them in before he erases it and asks, “do they hurt you? Like bees?”

You sign, “no,” and then erase what he wrote to write back, “they’re gentle. Ticklish.”

Sam reads it and looks at you with a questioning look, so you sign, “wait,” and proceed to slide down the small hill where the butterflies are gathered to pluck a flower from the ground. You then wait until a butterfly lands on it, and quickly shield it so it won’t escape.

Once the black butterfly with the yellow spots is secured, you look up at Sam and point your head to the side so he knows to come. He’s hesitant at first, but he trusts you, even if it’s only been a few weeks since you’ve joined their small group. Then again in small groups like these, when you’re trying to survive, it’s hard not bonding with the people you’re with.

It can be a good and bad thing because some people are big assholes.

Regardless, Sam slides down like you had and steps on his tiptoes to watch the butterfly flutter in your cupped hands.

You then slowly turn and crouch down to be at Sam’s level. You proceed to slowly move the shielded flower towards Sam, and very carefully pull your hand away from the flower. The butterfly stays on the flower like you wanted, so you move your finger towards it and let it crawl on your finger.

Once its little feet begin to tickle your flesh, Sam nervously grins, but seems to be more in awe. So before it can fly away you move your finger towards Sam’s nose, and gently guide the butterfly on his nose, making him immediately stiffen as he nervously laughs.

“See,” you sign. “All okay.”

The butterfly notices that there’s nothing where it’s perched and flutters off Sam’s nose quickly, and Sam only grins brighter. He then albeit quickly proceeds to grab his board to write down, “you were right. It tickles.”

You sign, “I told you.” You shoot him a cocky smile and point your head up the hill.

Sam looks up the hill and quickly begins to sign. You follow his line of gaze and see Henry. He had snuck up on you.

“Y/N…my nose,” that’s all you got from Sam signing to Henry. But hey! You’re learning, it’s been a few weeks and you’ve learned some stuff, that’s what counts.

“Did she?” Henry asks out loud and signs at the same time.

Sam nods and runs up the hill to reach his brother.

You then understand Henry’s question. “Did it hurt?”

Sam shakes his head and signs what you imagine is, “tickles.”

Henry hums and looks over at you to offer you a small smile before he signs and says. “Come on, let’s get going, dinner time.”

You beam at him and run up the hill, “great!” You sign in response. “I’m hungry.”

Since there’s nothing to fear at the moment Sam runs back to where everyone is gathered around, leaving Henry and you behind.

“So what?” Henry interjects. “Was it like, teaching moment with y/n?” He teases.

You feign a laugh. “Haha. And yes, actually. Black Swallowtail, that’s what those butterflies are called, and he knows that now. Thanks to yours truly.” You point at your chest.

Henry scoffs in amusement, bringing silence after, tense silence unlike before because now there’s unspoken feelings. At least from him because you know what you feel, you’re very in tune with your feelings, he doesn't seem to quite grasp what he feels towards you. Or at least that’s what Jace says.

So it seems you have to take matters into your own hands.

“What do you say after dinner, we wait for Sam to go to bed, and stay out to watch the stars,” you suggest with a racing heart. “Just the two of us.”

Henry falters in his pace, but turns his head to look at you. He seems quite surprised, but he doesn’t take long to answer, and stays nonchalant. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

You shoot him a smile. “Cool. I’ll bring my music.”

“I’d say I’d bring the drinks, but well we only have water,” he says with a small smirk.

You laugh softly. “That’s fine. I'm cool with that.”

Henry holds your gaze and his lips turn to a soft smile. You mirror his gesture and begin to feel your cheeks burn. Luckily he can't see that.

“I’ve never done this,” Henry breaks the sweet tension. “Date.”

Oh so he is in tune with his feelings.

“Oh, is this a date?” You mess with him.

Henry goes serious and shakes his head, making you quickly grin and assure him before he can take it back. “I’m messing with you, and don’t worry, going on a date is like hanging out. There’s just different feelings out in the open…well…that’s what it feels like anyway. In my 24 years of living I’ve only been on one date, and that guy was,” you let out a deep annoyed sigh. “He was different.”

Henry swallows thickly and hesitantly probes. “Different how?”

“He was a jerk. He only asked me on a date for some kind of game with his friends,” you share. “So if you’re not playing that then you’ll be okay.”

Henry shakes his head. “No, no, definitely not.”

“Cool.” You grin softly.

——

Night had taken over quickly, Sam went to sleep early due to his brother's behest, and now you’re navigating down the green meadow trying to find a spot somewhat secluded from camp.

“What happened to all the infected around here?” You ask Henry. “I haven’t seen many at all.”

Henry drops his gaze and sighs. “When Fedra was running Kansas City, they managed to drive them to underground tunnels.”

You hum and can’t decide if that’s smart or stupid. Both?

“You’ve been out there, what's the craziest infected you’ve seen?” Henry chooses to bounce off your question.

You scoff softly and answer right away. “Well there’s these fucking things out there, they have the fungus growing out of them, they can still see and hear, but they have that strength clickers do, and they like, stalk you. They’re fucking quiet and creepy as hell. It’s crazy as shit, terrifying, I still have nightmares.”

“You killed them?”

You begin to smirk smugly and nod as you hold his gaze. “Three. I’ve killed clickers too.”

Henry hums and then retorts, “show off.”

You laugh and shrug. “You asked.”

Henry lets out a small huff and then swallows back nervously.

It’s honestly very cute. You can tell that this is actually his first time being intimate with a girl.

“Here,” you point out and suddenly drop to the floor.

Henry had gotten a step ahead so he steps back and carefully sits by you.

Once he’s seated you pull out your Walkman and earphones to put them down between you, whilst Henry pulls out the bottle of water and puts it down before pulling out his lighter and igniting a small flame.

“How romantic,” you say with a small grin.

“Working with what we got,” he rubuts, and puts the flame out since it's a hassle having his lighter on the entire time. Instead he proceeds to probe nervously. “Okay….What now?”

You scoff softly and hand him a earphone bud while you put yours on, and put on some music at a low volume.

“I don’t have a lot of music options,” you share as he puts on the bud. “The rest is at home so, for now we’ll listen to…” you pick up your Walkman and check what you have inside. “Britney Spears,” you read outloud. “One of my favorite artists.”

“And,” Henry rolls out and carefully moves his hand over yours to slowly interlace his fingers with yours.

You grin and shoot him a smile. “Yes,” you assure him softly. “Good….Now though! I’m curious, are you lying to me about dating other people?” You squint your gaze.

Henry shakes his head. “No, I'm not. But I’m not clueless either, you know.”

You hum, and then rest your head on his shoulder.

He feels stiff for a few seconds, but he slowly relaxes and lets his shoulders fall.

“Now, we talk, like normal,” you let him know and look up to watch the twinkling stars overhead.

“Okay,” Henry whispers. “What’s….what’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” you share immediately. “But not dark or violet, soft, like a lilac. You?” You ask and lift your eyes to look at him.

Henry looks down and meets your gaze as best as he can. “Red,” he says. “Like just red.”

“Boo,” you laugh. “Think harder, that’s a basic ass answer. I know that’s not it.”

Henry chuckles and draws in a deep breath as he thinks. “Okay,” he breathes out. “Blue…light blue, like the sky.”

You smile sweetly and nudge him gently. “See, I knew it.”

“Okay, now,” Henry proceeds. “I see you have many tattoos, but I’m curious about the one on your back,” he investigates. “The butterfly wings, do they have a meaning?”

Your smile slowly fades, and you have to hold back emotions that threaten to come out. “Yes.” You nod slowly. “My sister. She liked butterflies, I got it because of her so it’s like having her with me.” You glance at your hands and fiddle with his hand. “Do you have any tattoos?”

Henry shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I’m cool enough to get one.”

“You don’t need to be,” you assure him. “You can get one simply because you want one. That’s why I have the ones on my left arm, ‘Kay? And I think you’re cool. Sam thinks you’re cool.”

Henry turns his head and rests his chin on the top of your head. “You’re about the only ones then,” he mumbles. “No one else does.”

You squeeze his hand tighter and whisper, “don’t bother yourself by what others think, that shit, it’s poison. You live like that, you’ll only look at the world black and white.”

Henry lets silence linger for a moment before he asks, “how is it that you always seem to know what to say?”

You scoff. “Half of the time I make shit up.” You smile faintly. “Other times I repeat what I’ve been told by my uncle Tommy, or my mama Maria; she’s truly wise.”

“She your real mom?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No,” you share. “My mom died a long time ago, before all this shit happened…uh, complications after she had me. So, no Maria is my uncle's wife, my aunt. But I’ve known her for a long time now.” You sigh. “After we left Boston, she taught me a lot, like, about being a woman, protection, and the world. She took care of me like I imagine a mom would…” you smile softly at the sky and notice the dark cloud that begins to pass by. Yet you think nothing of the thick cloud and just admire the shining stars not covered by the thickness of the clouds, and stare at them with longing as if Maria’s presence was there.

“She loved me like one would. She’s the only mom I’ve known, so I call her that. Hopefully, you meet her soon. You’ll like her, she can be tough, but she’s good.”

“That’s good,” Henry says. “My mom tried her best, but it got hard. She focused more on keeping me alive soon after the outbreak happened.”

You blink and look away from the sky as his comment reminds you of someone else—it doesn’t sadden you anymore though, not as it once did.

“Yeah, my dad did that too,” you share your truth. “Sometimes he didn’t even feel like my dad….” You pause and want to add more, but in order to not sour the night and bring down the mood, you just leave that as it is and change the topic. “Okay, moving on please so we don’t bring this down. What would have been your dream job in the real world, pre outbreak?”

“Damn,” Henry mumbles. “I don’t know, but I do know that I would have wanted to ride a motorcycle around the country. You know those Harley’s?”

You hum in agreement.

“Well, I would have loved to have one of those and just ride.”

“You still can!” You exclaim excitedly. “I mean I don’t know about a country tour, but you can still have one.”

“Man,” he clicks his tongue. “I hope so. That would be a dream come true….now you, let me guess…you would have wanted to be an actress?”

You grin and gasp softly before you pull away to face him. “Yes!” You agree. “How did you know?”

Henry smirks. “Besides those stories you literally act out at night, you have the face for it.”

You smile wider and try to brush him off. “Are you sweet talkin’ me, Henry?”

He scoffs and shrugs smugly. “Maybe.”

You sit up and shoot him a smile as you slowly stretch your hands out. “I would’ve been a star, I know it.” You lean down close to him, and unknowingly make him nervously catch his breath as you hover him. “You would have seen me on your tv Henry Burrell.” You smirk.

Henry lets out a shaky breath, but composes himself and musters a soft smile, and knows how to sweet talk you. “I don’t doubt it.”

Your smile softens, and you slowly tilt your head to the side to glance at his plump lips before meeting his gaze again.

Many people have told you the same thing, they assure you that you would have been something if the outbreak hadn’t happened. But most of those comments are just that, comments, they’re meaningless. Coming from Henry though, hearing him say it makes you completely confident about a future you could never have. He makes you giddy about it, confident and flustered.

Maybe you’re a hopeless romantic, it’s been said, but you don’t have the luxury of time.

He knows that, he knows that holding back brings nothing good but regret so before you can move away, he leans forward and presses a kiss on your lips.

Albeit before you can savor the taste of his lips he pulls back. “I’m sorry,” he mutters out.

You shoot him a sweet grin before you lean down and crash your lips against his to reassure him that it’s fine, that he had nothing to apologize for. You pull him in and he’s caught off guard, he seems shocked a bit, but he doesn’t pull away, he sits up instead.

Henry’s careful, gentle with his kiss. You’re the one that guides him, that leads him on, but you’re not rough, you savor the sweet taste and make sure to mentally jot down every spark that you feel bounce out, every flutter your heart does. You memorize the sweet bliss that fills you.

When you eventually pull away you remain close, you don’t speak, you bask in the silence for a moment. He watches you with a sweet smile and a soft gaze, the softest gaze that you’ve noticed anyone look at you. So much so that it actually confuses you.

“What?” You probe.

Henry shakes his head.

You hum and provide silence.

Alas, it’s in that same silence that follows that lets you begin to feel droplets of water fall on your head.

When you both look up you see a thick, and much darker cloud covering the sky above. And soon those few drops turn to pouring rain.

“Damn,” Henry mutters under his breath.

You both look down and meet each other's gaze. And as you do, you both burst into laughter at the inconvenience of the pouring rain, and at the fact that you were so distracted with one another that you didn’t notice that it loomed so close. Overall you just laugh at the simplicity that was the rain interrupting your date.

“Come on,” you urge him and grab his hand. “The tree house is empty right now, let’s go up there.”

Henry grabs the bottle of water, and you grab your Walkman before you pull him up, and guide him there in a run.

However, it’s once you’re in that treehouse, as you go back to kissing one another that you catch the sound of distant rumbling. You wouldn't have cared about it, but the rumbling doesn’t come from the sky, so you pull away from Henry and crawl to the window, spotting there in the treeline multiple bright lights, headlights.

“Fuck,” Henry mutters sharply. “Fuck!”

That bliss you once felt is now quickly replaced with racing fear.

“It’s Kathleen,” Henry reveals the name of the rebel group that he said took down FEDRA, the group after him and the others he’s with.

“Go,” he whispers at you as he turns to face you with panic. “Leave!” He yells.

You shake your head without hesitance. “No,” you mumble. “No. I’m staying with you. Come on.” You shove your earphones in your pocket, and hook your walkman on the beltline of your pants before you quickly rush out of the treehouse, leaving Henry in slight disbelief that you didn’t leave now that your leg is healed. You should've, he thought, yet he's glad you didn’t.

——

*A DAY LATER*

“Kansas City belongs to the people!”

Flares light the sky. Chanting, yells, and gunshots fills the air carelessly as if the entire fucking world was liberated of danger and oppression; it’s only a city, and there’s still infected that lurk outside, stragglers that can still cause damage.

“Collaborators, surrender now, and you will receive a fair trial.”

Bullshit…

“We have control of the QZ and the open city. Anyone caught hiding will face charges of counter-revolutionary activities. Kansas City belongs to the people….” The announcer trails off and the current street you’re hiding on is silent again. Finally.

“Look at me, not at that,” you hear Henry whisper. And when you look over you see him communicating with Sam now that this was your next opening to run. “We’re almost there. To more blocks…” he turns and meets your gaze too. “Two more blocks,” he repeats so you can hear.

You nod in comprehension, and see him look back at Sam.

“Stay with me,” Henry continues to whisper softly for you as he signs for Sam. “Y/N, will be behind us.”

The boy's gleaming eyes drift to you to ask for reassurance once more, just like he’s asked all day since you’ve been running.

And it’s true, you were scared yourself, but for him you act confident, to see him at least lose a flicker of fear. “We’ll be okay.” You sign, and smile through your exhaustion. “I’m a wicked shot,” you whisper and let Henry sign that.

Sam looks back at you and sighs before nodding in comprehension.

“Ready?” Henry asks you.

You keep on your brave and confident face and nod. That lets Henry grab Sam’s hand once again to then bolt on ahead. You follow right behind their tail, with a hand on your rifle in case there’s suddenly a surprise.

Luckily though, you make it to the building some old man had told Henry about without any surprises. It was supposedly clear from any of the rebels too, so once that door closed and that lock clicked, and your flashlights lit the room, you were able to let your hand fall from your rifle.

“We’re going up,” Henry signs and whispers.

Sam nods. And you don’t need to say anything for Henry to know you understand, so he’s able to tell Sam to turn on his flash before they both slowly go ahead and you follow to watch their back.

Once you make it to the top, once Henry opens the door and reveals some storage room that old man doesn’t seem to be here.

Or at least that’s what you thought, because some old man suddenly jumps out from behind an old cabinet with his flash and gun pointed at the three of you, causing Henry to stop Sam and you in your tracks to point his gun right back at the man. Whilst you pull out your rifle and outgun the man.

However, given by the sound of their sighs, and the fact that they’re lowering their guns, this is the man Henry saw.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Henry says and looks back at you. “It’s okay, you can put the gun down.”

You glance at the old man with his gun lowered and hesitate for a second before you hang the rifle back around your shoulder.

“It’s up here,” the old man says and turns to pull down some hatch. “Climb up on this,” he says and taps the cabinet and some box.

You’re sort of unsure to climb up since it looks so eerie up there, but Henry doesn’t second guess the man and hands you the green bag of supplies so he can climb up first. He then helps Sam up without hesitation, so it must be safe…

“Go on, I can help with the bag,” the old man tells you, but you still can't be assured of your safety nor do you trust him like Henry does, so you clutch onto the bag and offer him a faint tightlipped smile as you shake your head.

“It’s alright,” you mutter and then climb up on the cabinet and box. “I got it.” You pull off the strap and hand the bag to Henry first before you grab only the edge and pull yourself up.

“You got it?” Henry asks you as he turns away from the bag he sat down to try and help you.

Yet you manage to get in all by yourself just fine. “Yeah,” you assure him. “I got it.”

Henry puts his hand on your back as you stand up regardless, and helps you to your feet, letting the old man come in last without help.

“You sure they don’t know about this?” Henry asks the old man, while you proceed to set your backpack down to pull off that damned weight. However, you keep your rifle on you, you just pull it off your shoulder to raise it and point your scoop at the gaps that are on the cardboards covering the windows, just to make sure that the street is clear.

“I got it from a FEDRA officer,” the old man says as he turns on the lamp hanging from a pillar. “Patient.”

You lower the gun and walk to the window Sam is sitting under to check through that one too.

“…owed me a favor,” the man continues, whilst you hear Henry put down the cans of food you had managed to throw in. “He said he found it himself, never told anyone about it.”

“What if they got to him?” Henry cuts in, making your curiosity grow as well. So you lower the gun and look over at both men to wait for the answer.

“They already did,” the old man deadpans . “He won’t be talking.”

It’s good to hear, but still not so assuring. Albeit you don't show your fear, not with Sam right by you, he’s already terrified, he looks even more so up here. So instead you put your gun down and tap his shoe with yours to try and assure him with a small smile, and a sign.

“Clear. We’ll be okay.”

Sam swallows thickly and slowly lowers his shoulders, but doesn’t completely untense.

“Hey,” you sign and then tap your firefly pendant.

Sam slowly reaches for the one you gave him and holds it in his hand tightly.

“Clear outside?” He signs his questions.

You nod, and exhale out deeply to release some stress so he can mirror your actions. And this time instead of remaining tense, Sam unzips his jacket to pull out his board.

You watch him for a second longer and notice he keeps grabbing the pendant as he begins to draw.

“Y/N?” Henry calls your name and draws your attention back to them. “How are you on bullets?”

You walk towards the pair and hum before giving your answer. “3 on my rifle, and 4 on my pistol. Not enough, but good nonetheless.”

Henry sighs and nods. “Good.”

“Mines empty,” the man says and puts his gun away.

“Yeah, so is mine,” Henry reveals his status.

“We weren’t shooting our way outta this anyway,” the man adds hopelessly.

“No,” Henry interjects. “So we’ll sneak our way out.”

You rest your hand on your hip and watch him count the cans you have.

“How?” The man probes.

“Tunnels,” Henry shares.

“Tunnels? Why go to the trouble? You can kill yourself right here.” The man comments.

You scoff and snap back. “It’s either that or we die up here. I won’t let that happen, we won’t. Infected aren’t smart, we will find a way out.”

The man glances at you and keeps quiet.

“Twenty two cans, and six pounds of jerky for the four of us,” Henry shares now that he’s done counting. “If we stick to the minimum. I think we can make it 11 days? So that’s how long we have to figure it out.”

Not good, but it’s enough.

“Is he scared?” The man refers to Sam still in the corner drawing and holding the pendant.

“Yeah,” Henry says. “Well, he’s seen a lot. Nothin’ I can do about that now.”

First, you all witness some of the people you were with get shot. Then you get separated from the group whilst you were running from those after you. And lastly the horror the city holds. Who wouldn't be scared?

“He’s scared because you’re scared,” the old man says correctly. That makes Henry stop what he’s doing to look at his brother for a moment before he walks over to him.

You let him have his time with Sam, and instead finally take a moment to finally sit after running all damn day.

“How good are you with that rifle?” The man asks you.

You glance down at the cans of food and shrug. “My uncle taught me, he was in the military before the outbreak, so I like to say I’m a good shot.”

The man slowly sits down too, and when you glance at him you see him nodding in comprehension.

“That’s good,” he whispers. “We’ll probably need that.”

You hum and look back at Henry and Sam, and catch them both drawing on the walls now.

It’s a simple thing just to pass the time, to make Sam happy and fully relaxed. Besides, seeing him like that makes Henry happy and relaxed. And seeing that they can both find a bit of happiness in this wooden cage, that Henry isn’t strict and just focuses on teaching Sam how to survive, makes you smile and watch him with admiration.

It’s good that he’s a brother and a father to Sam, he needs that….

You grin softly.

Henry seems to feel your stare as you get lost watching them and looks back, catching your gaze.

You offer him a small smile and look away right after, even if that won’t erase the fact that he had caught you staring at him. He also then proceeds to join you on the floor nonetheless, and taps your leg with his foot. “How’s your leg?” He asks.

You drag your feet up against your chest. “Fine,” you assure him and slide your eyes back at him. “It doesn’t hurt anymore thank god. There’s just a scar left.” You hug your knees and rest your chin on your knee caps. “How are you feeling, Henry?”

Henry sighs. “Besides tired….” He hesitates and averts his gaze. “Guilty.”

You slowly furrow your eyebrows in confusion and probe. “Why?”

Henry lets out a deep sigh and drifts his eyes to you. “I dragged you into this, into my problem. You could’ve been on your way home now.”

You lift your head off your chin and shake it as you reach for his hand in his pocket to hold it in yours. “No,” you argue and lean in close to him. “No, I choose to follow you. I told you I’m sticking with you and Sam. We’re going home together.”

Henry licks his lips and shakes his head. “You don’t know what I’ve done, y/n,” he rebuttals. “I’m not a good guy.”

“And you think I’m a good person?” You spat. “I know what you did, Jace told me…”

Henry scoffs at the mention of his friend's big mouth, but let’s you continue.

“You saved your brother. He was sick and you saved him, you—”

“And I got a good man killed in the process, y/n,” he cuts you off sharply since you don’t want to blame him like he blames himself. “That makes me a bad guy. I am a bad guy. And now I have you here, hiding, surviving off scraps. Can't you see?”

You blink, and let out a shaky breath before you slide your legs down to turn around and sit on your knees to face him. “Henry, listen to me,” you say softly and pull his hand out to cup it with both hands.

“I’ve seen bad people, I’ve looked into the eyes of bad people. I’ve been a bad person, a truly bad person. So I know. And Henry,” you say softly. “When I look at you, I don’t even see a flicker of that….” Your voice breaks. “You have got a good heart, I can tell, I have sense for that stuff.” You laugh softly. “You’re good, Henry. Sam sees that, he knows that. I know that.”

Henry lets out a deep shaky sigh, and drops his gleaming gaze. He keeps his hand in yours though, and then lifts his other hand to cup yours.

“You’re not a bad person either, you know that,” he tells you softly and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “You’re a survivor. A real one.” He lets your hand go and instead lifts it to let it hover your cheek. As if he’s hesitant about grabbing your face out of fear that he was stepping out his boundaries.

“A bad person wouldn’t be stuck here,” he continues. “A bad person wouldn't have helped. A bad person wouldn’t be as…optimistic as you are,” he grins softly, making your smile wobble. “Even after getting stabbed. I could say a hundred more things already to prove you wrong and I’ve only known you a short while. Sam,” he points back to the boy busying coloring. “Could say a thousand more.”

You scoff softly and lean your cheek against his hand, making him stiffen for a second before he begins to very slowly caress your cheek.

“Is that alright?” He asks and leans in closer to read you too. “It’s not….too fast?”

You shake your head. “No,” you assure him. “It’s fine. I like it.”

Henry's smile widens and he proceeds to let his gaze linger on you for a moment longer before he mutters. “Thank you.”

You drop your gaze and smile at the ground. “This was supposed to be about you,” you mutter.

“It’s okay,” he says with a hint of smugness. “I like talking about you.”

You giggle and shake your head.

——

*10 DAYS LATER*

The room is quiet, deafening so. Nothing compared to the loud nightmares haunting you.

The air is chilly, and your clothes are cold. As your eyes focus on the painted room you see it’s basked by darkness; no lamp—well there is light, but it’s a dim and cold light, and it comes in from the small holes on the cardboards.

Did you really not sleep at all? It doesn’t feel that way, but it’s dark so probably not.

You sit up and stretch out your arms, feeling them slightly sore from sleeping on the hard ground. You rub your face to get rid of all the crap on your face as best as you can with just the heels of your palms since you don’t have water to splash on your face.

When you put your arms down, and look back you catch Henry’s stare, and a faint smile he musters.

“Hey,” he whispers.

You turn yourself around to face him, and notice Sam sleeping on his other side.

“How you feeling?” Henry asks.

You let out a long breath through your nose whilst you shrug. “Sore,” you croak. “I miss my bed.”

Henry scoffs softly and leans forward to pick up a can of food. “Here,” he says and hands you the can of food. “We saved you some.”

You hesitantly grab it and blink in confusion. “You guys ate?” You ask with your eyebrows knitted together. “Again?”

Henry rests arm back on his knee and his smile turns to a smirk. “I…uh, let you sleep in for the day.”

An entire day?

You put the can down and lose your confusion to stare at him with annoyance and disbelief. “We have…” you pause and shake your head. “We have a schedule, Henry,” you argue. “I sleep at night and you sleep in the morning. That’s not fair.”

Henry looks down and shrugs softly. “It is because I don’t care, it doesn’t bother me. Besides, you seemed at peace so Sam and I let you sleep in.”

The thought behind it fills you with joy, and it makes your heart flutter, but it’s still…it’s still not fair for him.

“What about the old man?” You quip since he’s not here anymore.

Henry slowly lifts his eyes and his smile fades. “He hasn’t come back,” he shares. “He probably…got caught.”

You blink and lose your attitude as you’re now filled with slight guilt.

“That means that can is the last bit of food we have,” Henry continues and points to said object by you. “Until we leave.”

You look at the can of food and push it to him. “Leave it for Sam.” You tell him.

Henry quickly pushes it back to you and counters you. “No, we ate already. You haven’t since yesterday. You need it.”

Your stomach grumbles at the reminder of that fact, and you hesitantly take the can without any more fuss.

“We’re on our own now,” Henry whispers. “Which means…you can go y/n. I don’t want to hold you back, you have family waiting for you back in Wyoming, I want you to see them. Being here with us…I can’t guarantee you will.”

You snap your gaze up to him and shoot him a pointed glare. “Why do you keep saying that to me, huh?” You snap. “Like if I’m actually gonna take your word and just leave you guys behind.” You put the can of food to the side and lean into him.

Henry rolls his eyes down and sighs deeply at your stubbornness.

“Henry,” you insist and snatch his hand off his knee to hold it in yours. “It’s not just me anymore, it’s us. We’re going to Wyoming together, okay? We’re going to Jackson. We’re gonna go home, we’re gonna sleep on a bed.” You muster a small smile. “You’re gonna meet pretty girls….”

“Pft.” He breathes out and shakes his head with a small smile.

“We’re gonna eat a delicious sandwich from the bar, you’re gonna meet my uncle, and my momma. Sam is going to school, have friends. We’re going home.” You assure him sweetly.

Henry blinks, and meets your eyes with a soft gaze and a sweet smile that you like to see on him. He proceeds to cup your cheek and pull you in closer to him.

“Only girl I need is you,” he sweet talks you.

You scoff and roll your eyes, making him chuckle quietly so as to not wake up Sam, before he pulls you in for a deep kiss that you both linger in. That you both want to take further, but restrain yourselves and pull away and keep your foreheads against each other.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your lips. He never stops telling you that.

Albeit now you don’t tell him to take it back like before, you let him say it and relish in the silence before you press a kiss against his lips and smile. “Go to sleep,” you tell him. “I’ll keep watch here.”

Henry hums and pulls back to pick up the can of food. “I sleep, you eat.”

You scoff and nod slowly as you take the can from his hand.

Before you eat though, you go down and go to the bathroom, Henry goes down with you to keep watch. And once you get back upstairs, Henry is quick to fall asleep, letting you eat and watch him and Sam in the silence of the room that was only accompanied by the sound of their soft snores.

Or at least it was quiet for a while until Sam woke up.

“You okay?” You sign your question.

Sam yawns and nods. “Yes,” he answers. “I just had a bad dream.”

You put the empty can down and offer him a sweet smile. “Want to talk about it?” You ask him.

Henry hesitates before he shakes his head. “It wasn’t bad,” he signs back to assure you. “I'll be okay.”

You smile wider and nod. “Good,” you sign. “Now. Back to sleep then.”

Sam puts his finger up and turns around to look for something real quick. You drag your leg up, and rest your chin on your knee as you wait for him.

Once he turns back around he grins as he lifts a piece of cardboard that has three people drawn on it.

“I drew this,” he signs. “Today while you slept.”

You scoff and point your head to the drawing. “Tell me about it then.” You press him.

Sam smirks proudly and points to a small masked hero with a cape on it. “Me,” he signs and then drags his finger to another masked hero, this one albeit is taller than he was. “Henry,” he shares and then drags his finger to the last person; one with butterfly wings, eyes like yours, and half of the face covered by a black mask. “You,” he reveals, and smiles shyly.

You beam at him and probe with obvious excitement. “Really? Wow. What are my powers?”

Sam puts the drawing down and doesn’t fret explain what you ask for. “Flight because you have butterfly wings drawn on your back. And you can make shields like The Invisible Woman, because you are brave…”

Your smile softens at his explanation and you’re actually very touched by how much thought he put into it.

“And super strength because you are strong.”

You sigh softly and grab at your chest. “I love it so much” you sign back quickly. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Sam's smile turns timid, and he drops his head to hide his fluster.

As much as you do enjoy his company, and feel touched by his drawing, you do want him to sleep for a little while longer.

However, before you can tell him he snaps his head up and beats you to signing. “Will you tell me a story?” He asks.

You let out a deep exhale and first put a but. “And then you will sleep.” You insist.

Sam nods quickly.

“Okay,” you give in. “Let’s do it.”

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

As Henry wakes Sam up, you pack up what you can and what you have left, which isn’t a lot. A lot of Sam's crayons are wasted since he's been giving the blank attic some well deserved color. The food is gone so the green bag is mostly empty. And everything else you have goes in your own packs, so maybe you should be at least thankful that you don’t have to carry so much weight at the moment.

“Y/N,” Henry calls out.

You hum and look back at him with a questioning look.

“Can you pass me the red paint?”

You glance at Sam and notice that he has his eyes closed. You want to ask about it, but you just choose to wait and hand Henry what he asked for first.

“Watch,” Henry says to you and wraps cloth around his fingers to dip that in the red paint a bit before he leans towards Sam, and paints a thick red stripe over his eyes that makes it look like he has a mask on. Like the ones he paints on his hero’s.

“Wow,” you sign when he opens his eyes. “You look very cool.”

Sam smiles, and Henry pulls out his knife to let Sam see his reflection on the metal.

And once he does he grins and nods in appreciation. “Now,” Sam signs to you as Henry puts his knife away. “I have my mask on, like you have your wings.”

You grin and nod. “Yes!” You sign and lift your eyebrows to show your excitement, whilst you pick up your backpack off the ground since all you needed was for him to wake up so you could leave. “Exactly! We are cool now.”

Henry turns back around and helps Sam put on his jacket, while you grab his backpack off the ground.

“Now,” Sam tells you after he has his jacket on and his brother is turned away grabbing his own things. “Henry needs something too.” He stands up to his feet, and you hand him his backpack.

“We will have to think about what to give him,” you tell Sam as you strap your rifle on your shoulder.

Sam nods in agreement and drifts his eyes to Henry slowly trying to slowly open the door.

After making sure that the ghost is clear, you all proceed to climb out, and carefully walk down the stairs to reach the door that you had once walked through 11 days ago.

However, before you can walk out, even if Henry and you learned the patterns of the group, he puts a table against the door to climb on it and peek through the window over the door to check if the ghost is clear outside.

For inside you can hear nothing echoing in the distance; no shouts, running engines or distant gunshots, but you still wait cautiously, and watch Henry turn away from the window first before you can act.

“It’s okay,” Henry signs to Sam and you as he jumps down.

Just like you assumed.

However, even if Sam got the okay, he worries and questions his brother. “You don’t hear anything?”

Henry shakes his head and reaches over to push the table away. Albeit just as you take a step over to help him, tires suddenly screech, causing Henry to stop, and for you to do the same but grab Sam’s shoulder to hold him still.

Sam then turns to question what had made Henry and you stop, but tires screech again and a crash follows to sound, causing you to jump and cover your ears. Henry, though, grabs Sam, and your arm to pull you both down with him.

Sam signs something to both Henry and you, but you keep your eyes focused on the door as gunshots begin to go off. You remain frozen out of fear in the same spot Henry had pulled you down to, and don’t react or stand up until Henry gets back up on the table to peek through the window.

“Henry,” you call out and sign so Sam understands what you’re saying. “Stay down.”

“Let me just check,” he rebuttals.

You grab Sam’s hand and pull him with you as you take a step closer to Henry.

Another gunshot proceeds to go off though, making Henry duck, and Sam to tighten his hold around your hand as he watches his brother's reaction. And just as Henry slowly lifts his head again, you turn to face Sam.

“We will be okay, it sounds to be happening across the street,” you let Sam know. “Gunshots, but not a lot. Maybe a fight.”

Another gunshot goes off, and your shoulders jump, but you try to remain collected in front of Sam.

“Another gunshot?” Sam asks since he sees your reactions.

You nod and let him know, “Just one.” You turn to ask Henry what’s going on, but he suddenly ducks for a few seconds before he lifts back up one more time. After a few seconds he finally decides to jump back down as it goes quiet.

“What's going on now?” Sam asks Henry before you can.

Henry glances at you with a frown and shares his slight fear, before returning his gaze to his brother and looking nonchalant so Sam won’t worry as much.

“New plan,” Henry shares with the both of you. “We follow this man that just killed one of the rebels.” He explains making you feel shocked over that fact. “I know the streets, and even if we have you, y/n, we can possibly work together with this man.” He keeps his eyes locked on you to ask for reassurance, to wait if you’d argue, but you trust him and agree with a nod.

“We have to get out before more of the resistance comes over. Ready?” He asks Sam and you.

“Yes,” you sign and say, earning Henry’s attention. “I’m with you.”

Henry’s lips lift slightly before he gives you a thankful nod.

And just like Henry had mentioned, those same loud ass cars come soon, you can hear their loud rumbling engines, they make a commotion about one of their own dying and finding the people who did it; Albeit Henry did say it was only one old man. Nevertheless, by the time you imagine they get to searching the nearby places for that guilty man, you’re already out of the building, following that man you can’t see but Henry can.

Yet, it’s because of that same search that you have to be even more cautious like before. You have to hide in alleys, and take long pauses to wait for cars to roll by before continuing after the man.

Night comes, and you finally enter a building, but, you end up having to follow the fucking old man thirty something floors up the damn building. It’s safe sure, but so fucking high up after running all day.

Furthermore, as you’re walking to the room at the end of the hall, just as you’re about to reach the room, glass crunches under your feet, making Henry and you halt immediately, and for the both of you to stop quickly Sam too.

“Noisy?” Sam asks both Henry and you.

Henry agrees and answers. “Noisy.”

You pull your rifle strap off your shoulder, and watch Henry pull out a gun before grabbing Sam’s full attention. “Remember what to do?” He asks Sam.

Sam makes a gun sign and points to the door. Henry nods and then hands Sam the gun. And since it’s probably a bit heavy Sam lowers his hands, making Henry secure the boys hold around the weapon before looking up at you now.

“Y/N,” he signs and doesn’t speak for safety. “Stay here. If anyone comes in, jump them. Or if shit goes down in there and you hear gunshots, go in and surprise them for us. If you hear nothing then I’ll call you.”

You’re hesitant to obey, you want to go with him. But…after being stuck together in the attic for 11 days you trust him with your life, more than anyone. So you listen to his plan.

“Okay,” you assure him. “I will wait, but…” you pause and pull out your pistol from your holster. “Use mine. I have bullets, you don’t. I can’t have you go in unprotected.”

Henry glances at your weapon and seems hesitant to take it for a moment, but he has no choice but to trade guns.

“You know how to use it, yes?” You manage a joke.

Henry rolls his eyes and grabs Sam to walk ahead, leaving you to stand back and wait. Wait and listen.

Wait some more even when you catch someone else's voice inside; a young girl's not an old man yelling out the same name as your own fathers.

“Eyes on me,” you hear Henry command. “Eyes on me. You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you. We wanna help you.”

So they seem good?

Hm. You push yourself away from the wall and step in the middle of the hall, you try to get a view inside the room Henry and Sam had gone into, but it’s too dark. All you can go off of is Henry’s voice, which you can detect a hint of nervousness by the way.

“Okay,” a second voice says; an oddly familiar, deep and deadpanned one.

“Okay, uh,” Henry proceeds shakily, “I don’t know what the next step is with something like this…”

Oh sweet, sweet Henry.

You should’ve gone in his place instead.

“….but if I lower my gun, we didn’t hurt you, so you don’t hurt us, right?” He continues, providing a long pause that makes you lift your rifle and take one step forward.

“That’s right,” the manly voice responds in a deadpanned way. Which is funny because it actually sounds like your dad too.

“That’s a weird fuckin’ tone, man,” Henry snaps out nervously.

“That's just the way he sounds,” the young girl interjects quickly. “He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay.”

“Everything is great.”

Obviously not. But Henry doesn’t yell out for you, so you trust him and stay put.

“Dude.”

“Fuck!” Henry swears, making you look down at glass littered on the floor to step on the gaps that are clean—“okay. Listen,” Henry continues. “I’m gonna trust you.” Silence follows and you imagine he’s taking this time to communicate with Sam or think some more.

“But if either of you guys try anything,” Henry then exclaims. “Yeah? We also have someone else with us, she’s strong, so don’t try anything. Yeah?”

There’s a murmur you can’t make out before that manly voice speaks again. “Can I sit up?”

“Slow,” Henry says. “Get up slow. Y/N come on in…it’s okay!”

That’s your cue.

You only lower your gun a bit, but keep your hands tightly secured around your weapon as you slowly walk to the door.

“Who are you?” The man asks Henry now.

“My name is Henry. That’s my brother, Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City,” Henry’s voice gets louder the closer you approach the room. “Although, right now my guess is you’re running a close second.”

You reach the door and slowly push it open, announcing your presence to the others in the room. Yet as you step in the first person you focus on is Sam since he’s closer to the door. You’re about to ask if he’s okay, but you see the man behind him and slowly drag your eyes up to identify him.

And as soon as you land your eyes on his face, you freeze and gasp as you recognize his dark eyes, that face that has more wrinkles on it than before. You recognize his face even if it’s been years since you last saw him. After all, you could never forget how he looks, even with the anger you hold for him. You could never forget him, your dad.

“Oh my god,” you murmur and drop your gun as you keep your eyes on him, as you watch him slowly lose that furrowed brow, that look of nonchalance. You watch him grow disbelieved, or at least that’s what you want to think.

“Daddy?” You call out and stride over to him, whilst he walks over to you slowly as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing, as if he’s trying to debate if you’re some vision or not. “Daddy,” you murmur as you stand before him. “It’s me, It’s—”

Before you can finish your sentence he wraps you in embrace, he wraps an arm around your back, and slides his other hand to hold the back of your head. While you stay stiff in his arms.

“I know,” he murmurs against your ear. “I know baby, I know.” His voice is soft, not like it was a few minutes ago. He’s warm, and under the sweat you still recognize his own scent, it fills you with nostalgia and joy. It makes you hug him back and close your eyes to bask in the relief and safety you’re hit with in his arms.

“Let me look at you,” he whispers and pulls back to grab your face and study you. Study you after years of not seeing you. “Look at you….” He smiles softly and wipes away the tears on your cheeks that had broken out. “You’re all grown up. You’re so beautiful.”

You notice his graying hair. You see the exhaustion in his eyes, and the relief.

“What’s going on?” You hear the girl ask, but you don’t look at her or think further about her presence, all you can focus on is the man before you, and the fact that as of now that anger you held so close in your heart begins to wash away.

“Look at you,” you redirect with a wobbly grin. “You wear diapers yet?”

He scoffs softly. “I’m getting there.”

You laugh softly and linger in front of him for a second longer before you both hug each other again, before you cling onto his neck like you would when you were a little girl, when you’d greet him home from work, when he’d carry you after you woke up, or simply when you just needed his embrace. You cling onto him with fear he’d disappear.

So now, no one in the room could deny your connection.

“Oh baby girl,” he whispers.

You cry softly and nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck. You stay in the embrace for a few more moments, and he doesn’t try to pull away until you do to face Henry and Sam, and explain what they’re witnessing.

“This is my dad,” you sign and say out loud.

Sam blinks and looks at your dad by you, and then nods in comprehension, whilst Henry looks a bit disbelieved by the fact.

“Uh, sorry for the…gun,” Henry adds anyway.

“Dad,” you say and turn to look at him, “that’s Sam,” you point to the boy. “And that’s Henry….” You glance at the man and smile softly. “My partner.”

Henry meets your gaze and mirrors your gesture.

“Ellie,” the girl interjects and steps towards you to offer you her hand.

You snap your gaze to the small girl and quickly look at her up and down—brown hair, pale face, brown eyes. She can be his kid. Albeit she looks a bit too old to actually be his kid without you knowing about it. Then again it has been some time…so there’s a possibility….

“Y/N,” you share, and offer her a feigned smile as you take her hand so as to not be cold.

You then pull your hand away and think that she can be Tess’s kid with your dad, the girl kind of has a resemblance to Tess. However, you don’t see Tess here. Weren’t she and your dad inseparable?

You don’t ask about her though, even if you are curious.

“What are you doing here?” Your dad cuts in, letting you look at him. “You’re supposed to be in Wyoming.”

You sigh and nod. “It’s a long story, really. I’m sure I can share later.” You turn and head over to the gun you had dropped in front of the door. “What are you doing here though? It’s a long way from Boston.”

You hear your dad sigh. “It’s a long story,” he counters, making you scoff in amusement. “I’ll tell ya later. You talk to your uncle Tommy recently?”

You pick up your gun and hang it back around your shoulder. “No I haven't been able to,” you share and turn back around to face your dad. “I haven’t come across a radio in some time. Have you?”

Your dad swallows thickly before he shakes his head. “No,” he says, and you actually begin to worry by the hesitance in his tone.

Yet you don’t investigate further, leaving the room quiet, even if there was so much unsaid between you and your dad.

“Anyone hungry?” Ellie breaks silence.

You snap your eyes to her and nod for Sam and Henry. “Starving actually. You guys have some spare food? We’ve been on the run from the rebels outside, so it’s been a hard couple of days.”

“Yes,” your dad nods.

You offer him a thankful smile and then turn to Sam. “They have some food,” you let him know.

Sam smiles in relief.

“Why don't we set up shop, hm?” You say and break away from your spot to grab a lamp off some desk. “It’s crazy it’s been you this entire day,” you direct to your dad. “If I would’ve known we could’ve reunited earlier.”

The question about who Ellie is to him really kills you, but you keep holding back to avoid hearing what he’d say, what you were afraid he’d say.

“Well only if I knew you were here,” he quips in that same deadpanned voice.

You hum and turn to set the lamp down in between the cushions on the floor.

The girl sits down first and begins to rummage through her bag, while Sam and Henry sit across from her.

“I just got to Kansas City like maybe what,” you explain as you turn on the white lamp, providing at least some sort of light to an otherwise dark room. “Almost 2 months ago, or so.” You sit down across from your dad and meet his gaze. “I wasn’t planning to stay, but well,” you sigh. “Shit went down and I had no choice. That's when I met Henry and Sam.”

Ellie passes your dad something wrapped in paper, and as he opens it and reveals food, he looks over at you again. “Where were you coming from?” He asks and hands you some food that you pass to Sam first.

“Well,” you murmur and drop your gaze knowing he wouldn't like your answer. “A…” you hesitate and scoff. “Countrywide adventure to tell the truth.” You drift your eyes up, catching him stopping his hand midway as he’s about to hand you some more food. He narrows his eyes on you and shakes his head.

“Y/N—”

“Daddy,” you cut him off. “You can't be mad, I’m on my way home.”

A wave of emotions pass, and you swear you can even see a hint of sadness pass, but it doesn’t linger too long for you to confirm it.

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed,” he mutters and hands you a piece of food you hand to Henry. “I can’t believe your uncle Tommy let you leave.”

You scoff and shrug off your back pack, and put down your gun to grab your food now. “I was 22 when I left, I was grown. And he trusted me.”

Your dad blinks and looks at his own piece of food as he swallows thickly again.

“Why did you leave?” Ellie interjects.

You smirk and share your truth. “Prove to myself that I can survive.”

Ellie begins to slowly smirk. “Cool,” she says.

And it might or might not be a choice fueled by your dad, or really his past behavior.

“Where did you get these?” Henry interjects and changes the subject.

“From Bill,” Ellie answers. “He’s dead.”

Oh. Okay.

Silence passes, and your dad takes this time to hand Sam some more food.

And as soon as the boy gets it he taps your arm so you’ll look at him and what he signs.

“Yeah,” you assure him. “I’ll tell him.” You look to your dad and share what Sam told you. “He says thank you.”

“I’m guessing you don’t have much,” Henry adds. “So, this means a lot.”

You hum in agreement.

“How old is he?” Ellie asks.

Henry turns to Sam and shares what Ellie had asked him, making Sam answer.

“He’s eight,” Henry shares for Sam.

Ellie nods and smiles. “Cool. I’m Ellie.”

Henry once again communicates with Sam, causing Sam to look over at the girl and sign cool as he nods.

Silence then proceeds to fall again, but now you catch Ellie hit your dads leg to encourage him to introduce himself now, making you be more assured by the fact that she could be his kid. One he didn’t tell anyone about, not even you…

“I’m Joel,” your dad adds bluntly. “Look, you ate, we didn’t kill each other, let’s call this a win-win and move on.” He glances at you towards the end of his conversation, seeking you to speak.

Yet you don’t, you let Henry do so

“Well, I’m betting that y’all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. And when the suns up, we’ll show you one.” Henry glances at you at the end, so you share an assuring look.

“There isn’t a lot we can see right now,” you add and look to your dad. “It’s dark. Once the sun goes up we can…” you pause and sigh. “Talk more. As of now if you guys want to sleep, go ahead. Henry and I can keep watch.”

“No,” Henry cuts you off. “You’ve been up all day, I can stay awake, Sam and you can get some sleep.”

You meet Henry’s gaze and come up with another option since you know your father wouldn’t be so open to that idea. And well you do want to talk to your dad too, someone you haven’t seen in years and suddenly appears here, Kansas City of all places.

“You sleep,” you direct at Henry. “I’ll…stay up with my dad, there’s things we need to talk about anyway.” You look over at said man, and meet his dark gaze.

And without adding much, your dad hums in agreement, making you smile softly.

“So,” you roll out and look down at Sam next to you. “You,” you point and begin to sign and speak quietly. “Need sleep.”

Sam rolls his eyes, but nods slowly. However, before he can stand up to find some corner, he adds one thing. “I decided what I want to have in Wyoming.”

You grow curious and probe.

“A giraffe,” he shares, making you grin.

“A giraffe,” you repeat. “Man,” you chuckle as you sign to him. “I don’t know how I’ll fit a giraffe in the backyard.”

“You said,” he argues. “Any pet.”

You sigh and drop your shoulders to try and pursue him to another option. “How about a goat, or,” you snap your fingers as the idea comes to mind. “A dog? A Cat?”

Sam shakes his head and looks at Henry and then at you to repeat himself. “A giraffe.”

You sigh in defeat, and nod your head. “Fine, fine, you twisted my arm, I will see what I can do, how about that?” You ask with a soft smile, in that moment missing how Henry was watching you; like he’s never seen something so beautiful in his life.

Albeit, you might not have noticed but your dad does. Your dad saw how you had just talked to Sam, so sweet and caring even through all this crap. So maybe he was right in leaving you with your uncle Tommy.

In the years before he left though, you were somewhat the same, you liked to see the good out of the bad even as young as you were, even as scared of the new world as you were. He doesn’t know how you did, where you got that from, but he knows that if you were stuck with him all your life, you wouldn't have stayed yourself. As you were before this outbreak, so, it’s good that you hadn’t been together until now.

“Are you sure?” Henry double checks as Sam walks away from the group.

You nod. “Yeah. I’m sure,” you assure him. “Go, get some sleep.”

Henry hesitates for a moment before he follows after his brother, leaving Ellie, your dad, and you left. Yet he sends Ellie off to bed too, and she relencutenly listens.

So now it’s just you and him, but neither of you speak until you know everyone is asleep.

“So,” you whisper as you move to sit by his left side. “Are you gonna tell me what you’re doing here?”

“It’s not as exciting as your reason,” he deadpans, making you smile. “I still can’t believe Tommy would let you leave. Tsk.”

You drop your gaze and do share the truth you hid. “He didn’t want me to leave, we argued…but at the end of the day, I was an adult, he knew he couldn’t hold me back.” You lift your gaze to look back at your dad. “You didn’t answer me though.”

Your dad meets your gaze and then glances at Henry across the room for a moment before he drops his gaze and mutters. “No offense or anything, but I don’t trust your partner. I trust you, but not him, so let’s save this conversation for later.”

So he hasn’t changed. That’s good to know.

“Okay,“ you grumble in annoyance, and instead chose to focus on the girl he’s traveling with. “The girl, is she your…”

“No,” your dad cuts you off before you can ask what he knew you were curious about. “She’s not anything. She’s cargo.”

Oh. Well now you’re even more curious. It’s bad he won’t answer a fucking thing.

“So what?” You retort. “Are you on some kinda mission?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Somethin like that.” He meets your gaze, and you let your own gaze linger on him as more questions build up, as you want to spill out so much more. But, right now, at this moment you don’t want to ruin the bliss of this reunion, you’re happy to see him again, and you want to focus on that.

“You,” he continues to speak. “How are you doing, hm? You okay?”

You nod and sigh. “I was hurt, that's why I stayed, but I’m okay now. You?” You ask and prop your elbows on your knees to rest your chin on your hands. “I mean besides being old.”

Your dad rolls his eyes and scoffs. “I’m okay,” he mutters. “And you're getting there too, what are you now 30?” He manages to tease you with a faint smirk dancing on his lips.

“I’m 24,” you correct him. “And 30 is not that old, okay?”

“Yeah, says you, you’re almost halfway there,” he reminds you, making you smile that he remembers. “You still make it a big deal?”

You snicker. “Daddy, you know me right? Of course I do.”

His smirk deepens. “What was it you said when you were a little girl?” He asks even if he still in fact remembers. “That Valentine’s Day was celebrated ‘cause it was your birthday that day?

You nod. “I still believe that,” you mumble with a stifled laugh.

He laughs softly and shakes his head. And you smile softly. It’s been so long since you’ve talked, so long since you’ve laughed together, and now after years of estrangement, sharing that same connection fills your heart with such heartwarming bliss you’ve missed.

“You going to Wyoming?” You quiere a bit mote seriously.

Your dad nods stiffly.

You scoff. “Uncle Tommy might get some kind of heart attack when he sees you.” You grin.

“He’s old,” you both say at the same time.

You giggle quietly and nod. Silence follows, comforting silence that lets you notice the watch on his wrist, the same one Sarah had given him for his birthday 20 years ago. He still wears it.

He never liked talking about her after she died, you can’t imagine that’s changed, but you still miss her and he still misses her too. So without saying anything you sit up and grab his wrist to carefully swipe your finger over the cracked glass.

Your dad watches you and of course doesn’t add anything, he lets you hold his hand to look at the watch instead.

“Get some sleep,” he mutters. “I’ll stay up.”

You let his hand go and breathe out softly before blinking and looking at him. “It’s okay. I’ll stay up with you. I missed you.” You admit.

The corner of his lips twitch to a smile, and he then wraps his arm around your shoulders to press you against him and press a kiss on the top of your head.

You smile and rest your head on his shoulder as he keeps his arm around you. You sit in the silence then, basked only by the dim white light. And you fight it, fight the sleep that came as you felt comforted and safe by your dad, but it overtook you, and regardless of what you told him you fell asleep with your head on his shoulder just like you would when you were a little girl.

——

*THE NEXT MORNING*

“Welcome to Killa City,” Henry says whilst he, you and your dad look out at the city from an office building.

“No FEDRA,” your dad interjects.

Henry shakes his head. “Not as of 2 months ago, no.”

“We always heard KC FEDRA was—”

“Monsters? Savages?” Henry cuts your dad off, and looks at him as he nods. “Yeah, you heard right. Raped and tortured and murdered people for 20 years. And you know what happens when you do that to people? The moment they get a chance they do it back to you.”

“But you’re not FEDRA,” your dad mutters, and you sigh quietly and avert your gaze as you know what’s coming is something he won’t like.

“No, worse,” Henry says. “I’m a collaborator.”

You clench your jaw and peek over, catching your fathers immediate displeasure and judgment.

“I don’t work with rats,” he snaps at Henry, and side eyes you since he knows he had taught you better.

“Yeah,” Henry scoffs. “You fucking do.”

You sigh and drag your eyes to him. “Henry,” you warn.

Said man glances at you, but he doesn’t change his tone of voice.

“Today you do.” He continues. “‘Cause I live here and you don’t. That’s how we followed you here….”

Albeit you didn’t actually know you were following your own father when Henry told you.

“I know this city, and that’s how I’m gonna help you get out.”

“Why help us?” Your dad queries.

Henry glances over at you and his gaze softens. “Her, for one,” he points to you, making you feel flustered. “And two, I saw what you did, the way you killed those men,” he says and glances back at your dad, making you do the same. “Now, I know where to go, and I trust y/n would have gotten us out alive, but we are safer in numbers.”

You meet your dad gaze briefly before he directs his comment to Henry. “You seem capable enough. You’re armed.”

Tsk.

“You’re wrong, and wrong,” Henry rebuttals. “Never killed anyone. And pointing that borrowed gun at you was the closest I’ve ever come to being violent….so that’s the deal. I show the way, you and y/n clear the way.”

You nod in agreement, and then look to your father in hopes he’d agree too. After all, you are going to the same place.

Yet you can’t read the answer he may have, he makes it hard to do so. But you want to believe he’d want to stick around with you at least….

What if you’re not enough though? He’s left before.

You sigh shakily and want to pull him away, but then a distinctive laugh fills the room. When you glance back you see Sam laughing with Ellie.

She made him laugh.

“Haven't heard that in a long time,” Henry says.

You smile at the boy, and then share that same happy smile with Henry.

“So how are we gettin’ out?” Your dad gives in, making you look to the ground and smile wider.

Without hesitation Henry walks to the table and pulls a piece of paper and pencil from his backpack, making your dad and you gather around the table where Henry is to watch as he begins to write. And shortly thereafter Ellie joins the group too, leaving Sam to sit at the other side of the table in wait.

“Highways, downtown,” Henry explains and points and circles the spots with his fingers. “Us. This whole area belongs to Kathleen.”

“She’s in charge?” Ellie probes.

You cross your arms over your chest and nod before answering with what you’ve been told from Henry himself, and the others that were a part of his group. “Leader of the resistance.”

“You can see the way we’re bounded by highways,” Henry continues to explain. “They got people posted all around the inside perimeter. If we get close, we get caught. No question. So how do we get across?” He asks, but then taps the surface of the table to gain Sam’s attention.

And when the boy looks up Henry asks the same question, so Sam can write down the answer on his board. “Tunnels.”

Henry snaps his fingers and says. “Boom.”

“Kansas City has a subway?” Your dad questions.

“No, but they do have maintained tunnels,” Henry answers. “There’s a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including,” he says and looks back at his paper.

“A bank building here.” He writes down on the paper as he explains as well. “So we enter the tunnels here, travel underground, and pop up here. Westside North. Residential. There’s an embankment on the other side of the houses. We head down, pedestrian bridge over the river.” He drops his pencil and claps proudly. “Free as a bird.” He then shoots you a proud look.

And you might be impressed by his plan, but your dad doesn’t seem so.

“You’re right,” your dad comments. “It’s a great plan. So what do you need us for?” Your dad points to him and you.

Henry sighs and shares one concerned look with you before looking at your dad and explaining further. “You noticed anything strange about this city? I mean, other than the strange shit you’ve already seen?”

“No infected?” Ellie answers correctly right away.

“Oh, there’s infected,” Henry corrects her. “Just not on the surface. FEDRA drove them underground 15 years ago and never let them come back up. It’s the only good thing those fascist motherfuckers ever did.”

“So you want us goin’ into a tunnel?” Your dad quips as he looks between Ellie and you.

“Everyone thinks that It’s full of infected,” Henry adds. “Including Kathleen, which means that we’re not gonna be running into any of her people. But you see, what I know is, it’s empty.”

“You’ve been down there?” Your dad asks.

You avert your gaze and hear Henry’s response. “No,”

“Oh god,” your dad mutters in annoyance. “Y/N.”

Yes, it’s a very questionable plan, you know that, but that’s why Henry and Sam had you. To fight for them.

“…but the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it’s clean,” Henry continues. “Completely clean. They cleared it out. All of it.”

“When?” Ellie asks.

“Like, three years ago,” Henry says.

Your dad scoffs and shakes his head.

“Okay, maybe,” Henry quickly adds. “There’s one or two, but you can handle it.”

“What if there’s more?” Your dad counters.

“Or one of those blind ones that sees like a bat?” Ellie adds her question.

“Y/N has fought clickers,” Henry explains and points to you.

You nervously glance up at your dad, and meet his quick judgmental gaze only meant for one man.

“And now I know you have,” Henry continues. “You see? You’re the right people. If it gets bad down there, we turn around, and run right back out the same way we came.”

“Oh that’s your great plan?” Your dad argues. “Put my—”

“No, that’s my dicey-as-fuck plan,” Henry cuts your dad off. “But as far as I can tell…it’s our only shot.”

“Y/N,” your dad presses you to explain yourself and your decision to follow something risky.

“It’s our only choice,” you vouch for Henry. “They chased us out of the forest, and now they have the forest line surrounded. It’s either this way or we go guns blazing. Which is an actual stupid idea. Trust me. Can you do that? I know it’s been a while,” you swallow thickly. “But can you do that?”

Your dads gaze lingers on you, his answer is simple in regards to you, but it’s the man you’re with that makes his choice difficult.

“They’re saying,” you hear Henry interject before your dad can answer you. “They’re going to help us escape.”

You look to the end of the table and see Sam smirk and nod in comprehension.

“Right?” Henry asks.

“Fine,” your dad grumbles, making you smile softly at him.

Good thing it didn’t come to choosing sides because if it had you don’t know who you’d side with….

Regardless, you don’t linger in the building any longer, the next rotation would start their shift soon, so now was the time to flee while the ghost was clear.

There could be surprises considering they are looking for your dad now too. But luckily the run to the bank was clear, and the bank itself was clear—It seems that the resistance group isn’t as smart as they think they are.

The only difficulty is now navigating your way through the long dark tunnel that you’re in.

“This should be it,” Henry says once the door closes behind your dad. “You ready?”

You turn your flashlight on and step down the stairs first.

“Get your gun out,” you hear your dad tell Ellie most likely. But you take this time you pull your rifle down and have it ready just in case something jumps out in this silence.

“How many bullets do you have?” You direct to your dad and look over your shoulder, noticing him climbing down the stairs to join you so you can both lead the way to some other big metal door.

“Not a lot,” he says, and shortly thereafter stops to open the big metal door for everyone. “You?” He asks once it’s open.

“Not a lot either,” you grumble and continue to slowly walk forward with your light pointing at the long path ahead.

“You see? It’s empty,” Henry points out loudly and with pride. “The plan is good!”

You look back to kindly tell him otherwise even if you really don’t smell or hear anything concerning, yet your dad beats you to it.

“Shh,” your dad shushes him. “The plan is good?” He repeats and scolds Henry. “We’ve been here for two seconds. We don’t know anything.”

Henry meets your gaze, and you shoot him a comforting smile before he leans close to Ellie and directs his comment to her.

“Your dads kind of a pessimist.”

“He’s not my dad.” Ellie quickly rebuttals, at the same your dad also does

“I’m not her dad.”

Why do they sound offended?

Maybe there shouldn’t be a reason why you need to be jealous then?

“Just point your light forward,” your dad continues to tell Henry. “And be ready to run.” He continues walking, so you also continue to lead the way at his side.

It turns out to be a long walk. A silent one thankfully. It seems Henry was right about this tunnel now being infected free. Yet as you come approaching some colorful painted doors who knows what may lie behind them.

“Whoa,” Ellie utters as you all flash your lights at the colorful drawings that fill the three walls.

There’s a castle painted around the doors, flowers and plants on the other walls, children, rainbows and a sun. This must be the reason why the infected aren’t down here.

Yet it’s too quiet, and unprotected. And when you feel the walls to check if it’s fresh or old paint. Thankfully, or sadly…the paint is dry and crusted.

“Let’s knock,” you suggest. "If there's infected they’ll run to the door, if there’s people then we’ll hear them too. If there’s nothing then…the ghost is clear.”

Your dad hums and nods in agreement. And just as you step forward and lift your fist to knock, Sam passes you to reach the door, but you quickly grab his arm and face him.

“No,” you warn him. “It can be dangerous. Always, always check if something is safe first, okay?” You take this time to teach him. “You understand me?”

Sam's smile fades, and he quickly responds. “I understand, sorry.”

You shake your head. “You did nothing wrong, just always double check first. Wait. My dad and I will give the sign that it’s safe. Okay?”

Sam nods stiffly and steps behind you, letting you secure his hand under yours, and now knock.

Once you get no response your dad opens the door first and slowly walks in, letting you and the rest follow him inside, noticing a larger room with more painted walls, with furniture and books. A home. An abandoned home.

You let Sam’s hand go and turn your flashlight off since this room is basked by natural light that comes from the vents on the ceiling.

“I heard about places like this,” your dad comments as he slows his pace to study the room. “People went underground after Outbreak day. Built settlements.”

You hang your rifle around your shoulder and slowly begin to walk ahead to investigate more of this living space.

“What happened to them?” Ellie asks.

“Maybe they didn’t follow the rules and they all got infected,” your dad counters.

Or they got tired of underground living and left. That’s what you hope happened anyway.

“No way!” You hear Ellie exclaim, making you snap your head to her out of fear.

Yet when your eyes land on her, you see her and Sam around a small table checking out a comic book.

“I love these!”

Fuck.

You let out a relieved sigh and continue towards a shelf of records and movies. Ellie continues to talk, but you focus on the music and films that have collected dust, giving away the time of unuse; hinting mostly at how long this place has been abandoned.

“…fuck yeah man!”

“Hey, keep it down,” your dad cuts Ellie off. “We’re not out yet.”

There he goes…grumpy, and overly cautious.

“C’mon,” Ellie groans. “Can we just rest here for a while? There’s like, actually shit to do here.”

A certain movie called Curtis and Viper 2 grabs your attention, and makes you smile to yourself while they talked.

“Wouldn’t be so bad to wait the light out a bit,” Henry tries to persuade your dad. “Safer in shadows when we pop back out on the other side.”

You snatch the movie from the shelf and look over your shoulder to wait for your fathers response. And surprisingly he gives in, letting you focus back on the shelf of goodies.

Since the records take too much room in your pack you leave them behind unfortunately, and step over to the box of cassettes, finding many albums that you had left back home, some that were your favorite and haven’t heard in years.

You find books, two that practically caught your attention. You find accessories, and more stuff that you would have enjoyed when you were a little kid. Albeit you still do put on some heart shaped sunglasses for fun now.

And even if it’s a habit your father is used to or should be used to, he still questions your choice of accessory as you join him and Henry sitting around a table. “What are you wearin’?”

You grin and pull up a chair next to Henry. “Daddy, don’t they look great on me?”

Your dad scoffs and looks away. “Well it’s good to see you haven’t changed,” he mumbles whilst he hides his faint smile over the fact.

You grin and proceed to throw your backpack and gun down, to then rest your feet on Henry’s lap as you sit back on the chair. “Look what I found,” you bring up and put your stuff down to show them a pun book. “A pun book. These are so fun, you love these don’t you,” you point at your dad.

His gaze drifts back to you and his eyes narrow. “Y/N,” he mutters, but you ignore him and open the book to read a random joke.

“A book,” you begin to giggle. “A book just fell on my head. I only have myself to blame—“ you stop and snort. “Fuck! No, fuck I said that wrong,” you giggle some more and correct yourself. “A book just fell on my head…I only have my shelf to blame.” You look up and see your dad keep his arms crossed over his chest and his nonchalance on his face, so you look over at Henry, and see him smile.

“Yeah,” you mutter. “I ruined that one.” You scoff and flip the page to read another one. “Ah, another! I used to be addicted to soap,” you laugh softly and glance up at your audience. “But I’m clean now.” You laugh and actually hear Henry giggle.

“Next…” you flip the page and grin as you find a good one. “Do you know what’s not right?” You ask and look up as you press the book against your chest to wait for a response.

“Left,” Henry answers, making you beam and nod.

“Yeah, yeah, you get it,” you laugh. “That was a good one.” You close the book and shove it in your backpack. “I’ll say more later….Now.” You say and sit up to grab another book. “Look. Little Women, my favorite book. Which,” you point the book at your dad and Henry. “I made into a play back home a few years back…”

You miss your dads curious look as you mention that you have made a play since you continue to speak.

“…I’ll let y’all guess who I played.”

“The main character?” Henry probes.

You put the book down on the table and shake your head. “Nope. Read the book and you’ll know. And look,” you continue and lift a cassette. “ABBA, and Kate Bush, Hounds of Love album, I love Running up That Hill.”

“I swear you love every song,” Henry comments.

You shrug and smirk. “Yeah, pft, well there’s too many to choose from.” You bend down and pull out your Walkman to put in the Kate Bush tape.

“Actually, before you do that,” Henry mumbles. “I found you something,”

You blink and snatch your sunglasses off to look up at him without the dark tint.

“It reminded me of you,” he says timidly and leans closer to you to pin something on your poncho.

When he pulls his hand away, you look down and see a small little gold sun pin.

“Uh, you can pin it to your backpack, or I don’t know, keep it there, but I just wanted you to have it.”

You smile softly and look up at him to meet his soft enamored gaze.

“Thank you,” you whisper and grab his chin to caress it before you lean in and press a small kiss on his lips, forgetting in that moment that your father was nearby—“I love it.”

“Good,” Henry says. “Good.”

You both let your gazes linger for a moment longer before you grab your book to hide your giddy grin as you sit back. You then proceed to put on your earphones on, and press play on the music, but can’t stop smiling like a love struck idiot.

But maybe you are one though….

Anyway, you read some pages of the book and miss the conversation that your dad and Henry have, you don’t look up, or listen in. You don’t look up until Ellie and Sam playing across the room catch your attention.

And at first it was just a brief glance since you could hear them faintly through your music, but as you see that they’re playing soccer, as you see Sam trick Ellie to take the soccer ball away from her, you grow nostalgic and sad. You remember Sarah, again, this time more than ever. You remember playing soccer with her in the backyard of your house, you remember tricking her to steal her ball away; the memory plays faintly in your mind, bringing tears to your eyes.

You remember her smile, her laugh. You remember those simple days, and miss her, just like you do every single day that passes.

“…Y/N…”

You blink at the sound of your muffled name and look up, catching your dad standing by you now. You pull your earphones off and hum to probe.

“It’s time to go,” he says.

You draw in a deep shaky breath and nod in comprehension. He walks away and you sigh as you pull your legs off Henry’s lap to pack up your things now.

“I don’t think he likes me that much,” Henry whispers.

You glance over at him and then look at your dad walking to Ellie.

“Just,” you quickly try to assure Henry. “Give him time. He’s,” you smile. “He’s a hardass, but he will come around.” You zip up your backpack and pick it up, before grabbing your rifle off the ground to then stand up.

Henry stands up from the chair too and sighs.

“Come on,” you urge him softly. “Let’s get out of here.”

.

.

.

.

A/N- I don't want to write what follows…

A/N- Can you guess who y/n played in her Little Women play? (That part was added for a reason 😙)

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #the last of us fanfiction #chapter 2 #tlou #tlou fanfiction #henry tlou x fem!reader #henry the last of us #Henry x Fem!reader #henry burrell #Henry burrell fanfiction #Joel miller #joel miller x daughter!reader #the last of us #Ellie #sam burrell #Sam and Henry #tlou ellie #the last of us HBO #angst

[cardierreh15]

Post Human

hey y'all, this one has been sitting in my drafts/docs for a while now and ive edited and changed and had it beta'd read 85 fucking times lol so I hope it lives up to some of yalls standards and enjoy it.

***I do not give anyone permission to repost or copy my work!!!

Warnings 18+: Cursing , Sexual Situations , Gore , Blood , Clickers & Stalker .

Pairings: August Walker x Roslyn(Black!Female Oc)

Special Guests: Ellie (Sister/Best Friend) , Joel (Father Figure)

Description: It's quite the special day for our beloved Roslyn so August gots something planned for her.

Word Count: 5.8K

Song (in order): Alligator Tears by Beyonce , Snooze By SZA

III

October 21st

Roslyn was standing in line at the mess hall. For once, she was able to just stand there without a yawn or a stretch. It was then that someone came up behind her and tapped her on her shoulder. 

She whipped her head around to look at the individual. It was Ellie, with this goofy grin on her lips and a cupcake in her calloused hands. Then, it dawned on her. 

‘Happy Birthday loser!’ 

Roslyn chuckled and rolled her eyes as she reached out and gave her sister a hug. 

‘How many years have we known each other? You do this every year.’ 

She looked around to see if anyone had spotted them. And sure as the sunset in the west, the attention was on her.

‘Awww shit and you fight me on this every year. Just take the damn cupcake.’ Ellie practically shoved it in her hands.

Ros gave her an unapproved glare before chuckling, ‘You’re hard headed. That doesn’t seem to improve with each year but instead declines!’ She rolled her eyes and turned around in line, ‘Is this what you were up to this morning? Or were you sniffing under Dina’s skirt again?’

Ellie rolled her eyes and gave her shoulder a gentle nudge. ‘Yes, actually! Dina is just a friend. You’re jealous that she's taking up all our bonding time?’ she teased.

‘No. I don’t care.’

‘Oh, I know you don’t,’ Ellie leaned in and whispered. ‘You’ve been too busy mumbling about your own friend in your sleep.’

Roslyn’s eyes grew and she snapped her head over at Ellie. 

‘What? Don't be so surprised Ron, I've told you before you talk in your sleep!'  

She gave her a snarky smirk with a raised brow.

‘You’re such an ass,’ Roslyn chuckled and shook her head as the girls finally made it up to the counter to collect their breakfast.

Afterwards, they began to make their journey to their designated spot in the corner of the cafeteria. As soon as they sat down, Ellie didn’t hold back on the questions. 

‘So! What happened after patrol?!’ she teased as she sprinkled some salt over her eggs.

‘Well, if you must know, nothing happened! We talked and went our separate ways.' She took a sip of her coffee and began to unwrap her breakfast burrito. 

‘Really? That’s it?!’

‘That’s it,’ Roslyn repeated.

‘Hmmm. Well what do you think about him?'

Roslyn pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes, 'Ellie, I barely know him. He and his brother just got here a few weeks ago!'

Ellie broke off a piece of her burrito and placed it on her tongue, 'Well you know enough to be dreamin' about 'em.'

'Jesus Christ would you stop?!' Roslyn gritted through her teeth as she balled up a napkin and threw it at her face.

Ellie laughed and held her hands up in defense and ducked her head.

She wasn't going to let that shit go. Ever

Suddenly, the girls could hear familiar laughter across the cafeteria. Roslyn looked over to see August and Tommy walking through the double doors. 

‘Aw shit. Speaking of the devil.’ 

Roslyn glanced over at Ellie who wore a smug look on her face. 

‘You’re so annoying.’

Meanwhile, her heart was palpitating in her chest.

‘I know.’ 

The men looked over at the girls. August's glare was a bit longer and more intense than Tommy’s as he jerked his head up in a greeting. 

You say move a mountain and i'll throw on my boots. You say stop the river from running, I'll build a dam or two. You say change religions now I spend Sundays with you. Something 'bout those tears of yours,

How does it feel to be adored?

Roslyn fought the grin that was threatening to curl on her lips. She had to hurry and look away before he caught it. She quickly looked down at her burrito to try to hide that smirk on her face.

‘Uh-oh! There it is!’ Ellie chuckled as she reached over and landed a few smacks on her arm. ‘You look so cute when you’re in love!’ she mocked.

Her head snapped up at her sister and threw the balled up napkin at her face. 

‘You talkin’ casanova?’

Ellie laughed and raised her hands in surrender, ‘Nope! Look Roslyn, it’s okay to have a crush on someone. Hell, you used to be infatuated with what’s his name!’ she snapped her fingers together as she thought.

‘You mean Chad?’ A snarl curled up on her lips before she took her first bite into her burrito.

‘Yeah! And now look at ya! Moved on to bigger… and better things! That bigger was just literal.’ 

Roslyn chuckled for a second before their names were called. 

‘Ros! Ellie!’ Tommy called out towards them.

‘Tommy!’ Ellie called out before Roslyn turned to look over her shoulder. 

Both of the men were walking towards them.

‘Sup Tommy!’ Roslyn smiled softly before she stood up to hug her uncle. 

‘Happy Birthday, kiddo!’ he said as he embraced her in a tight hug and kissed her head. 

‘Thanks,’ she grinned and looked over at August who stood next to Tommy. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey,’ he said with a small smile.

‘Aye, y’all mind if we joined y’all for breakfast this mornin’?’

A lump grew in Roslyn’s throat. ‘Hmm?’ was all she could hum out.

‘Of course!’ Ellie grinned cunningly. 

Roslyn snapped her head over at Ellie, ‘Th-they can?’ her eyes were pleading for her to give this shit up. 

‘Of course they can! It’s just breakfast, Roslyn,' she teased. 

Roslyn glared at Ellie with great loathe. 

A smile cracked up on her lips and she spoke through her teeth, ‘Sure… y’all can sit with us!’ 

***

Their morning consisted of hearty laughter and storytelling. 

Roslyn didn’t know why she was so adamant at first. But it felt good to share a good laugh with the people she loved. Even August. 

The four of them walked outside together, all in fits of giggles. Tommy then looked down at Roslyn. 

‘Come by the house later on! Me and Maria got sumn waitin’ on ya. Ellie, be safe on patrol today!’ he said, turning away.

‘I’ll be there!’ Roslyn smiled.

‘You got it, Tommy!’ Ellie added and then turned to look at Roslyn. ‘I gotta go. I’ll be back in a few hours.’

She balled up her fist for Roslyn to pound it.

‘Be safe. Love ya.’ She gave Ellie a pound on her fist and they leaned in to give one another a kiss on the cheek. 

‘See ya later, August!’ and with that, she headed off to the stables.

The pair stood there in silence for a moment before August decided to initiate the conversation, ‘I didn’t know your birthday was today. Sorry, I didn’t bring a gift for you.’

Roslyn looked ahead and smiled softly, ‘yeah. I really don’t like to celebrate it. It’s just another day for me.’

‘Well you should! There's like a one in a million chance of you being here so…’

‘Technically the statistic is one in 400 million…’

‘Yeah but as you can tell, humans are a limited edition nowadays,’ he chuckled. 

She giggled and nodded, ‘You’re right about that.’

‘Anyway though, you should celebrate it like it’s your last. Tomorrow is never promised y’know?’

Roslyn rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, ‘I’m starting to believe you and Ellie knew each other in a past life or something.’ 

They both shared a small chuckle before she spoke up again, ‘I’ll try to take that advice. No promises though.’ 

She turned away to walk but he instantly followed. 

‘At least you’d try. So, um… you have any plans today?’

‘Nope.’

‘Oh. Do they throw parties?’

‘Mmmm,’ she looked up in thought. ‘Sometimes. They do that for you guys back in Washington?’

August pressed his lips together as he shoved his hands in his pockets, ‘sometimes. More like a small gathering kind of thing.’ He smirked as he looked over at her. 

‘Oh. Cool,’ she gave him a friendly yet small grin this time before she walked up the steps to the library. 

Suddenly, a beeping captured August’s attention. He looked down at his watch. 9:30am. 

‘Damn,’ he cursed and looked up at Roslyn. ‘Hey, I gotta—‘ he threw his thumb back, ‘head back. Gotta go give Mikey his medicine.’ 

Roslyn turned around and gave him an understanding nod, ‘of course! No worries, go take care of your brother!’

August licked his lips, ‘Will I see you later?’ 

‘Why wouldn’t you?’ she asked, her head fallin’ to the side as a smile quirked up on her lips. 

A chuckle rumbled in August’s chest. ‘That’s what I like to hear.’ 

He shot her a wink and took a few steps back before spinning swiftly on his toes and walking back in the same direction they’d just come from. 

With heated cheeks, Roslyn just watched him for a moment before letting out a deep, shaky breath and walked into the library. 

***

Her day was as mundane and regular as she let it be. She did her best to keep herself busy. A few people wished her a happy birthday and thanked her for always being the best version of herself. But nothing out of the ordinary. 

Except that was far-fetched of course. It was 7:43pm now and she was walking up the few steps of Maria’s cabin. She knocked on the door. They barely gave it a second before the door swung open. 

‘Hey! Come in!’ Maria said with a cheeky grin curled up on her face. 

She found that rather odd. Maria was a gorgeous woman but smiling was a rare thing for her simply because she had been through a lot. 

‘Okay,’ Roslyn uttered as she walked through the threshold. 

She began to unbutton her coat but Maria raised her hand, ‘aht! Don’t take that off, we’re going to the pub afterwards. I just wanna give you something.’ 

Then Maria disappeared upstairs.

Letting out a deep breath through her nose, she bit the inside of her cheek and zipped her coat right back up, shoveing her hands in the pockets as she stared at the pictures of Maria and Tommy on the wall.

Sometimes, it seems like Maria and Tommy just dealt with one another. It looked like it wasn’t really love but, in those photos… They looked head over heels. 

Roslyn snapped her head over at Maria who came trotting down the steps with a small box wrapped in old newspaper in her hand. 

‘What’s this?’ Roslyn asked with her eyes narrowed. 

‘It’s a gift from Tommy. I just happened to give you my gift way too early,’ Maria giggled. 

Roslyn rolled her eyes and shook the box next to her ear. She heard a small jingle on the inside. 

‘What is it?’ 

‘Check it out,' Maria reassured as she walked over to the coat rack and threw on her own jacket. 

‘Hmm,’ Roslyn hummed and tore the old newspaper off. Just a plain black box.

‘Alright,’ she sighed, before popping open the lid of the box. 

On the inside of the box was a solid gold rope necklace. 

‘What?!’ Roslyn laughed as she snatched the gold out of the box. ‘Holy shit!’ she continued to laugh hysterically. 

‘A gold necklace?!’

Maria cackled as she zipped up her coat, ‘Yeah. Tommy told me a while ago about you wanting one. So, he and Joel damn near flipped the mall in the east upside down until they found you one. Almost got them killed but, I’m sure they’d do it again.’ 

Well, she definitely couldn’t give it back; especially now that she knew the bullshit that came with them getting it in the first place.

‘It’s beautiful. Could you put it on for me?’ 

‘Of course.’ 

The smile plastered on Roslyn’s face hadn’t faltered. 

She scooped up her long braids and held them up as Maria wrapped the chain around her neck and clipped it together.

‘There,’ Maria said as Roslyn turned around to face her. ‘It compliments you so well, Ros.’ 

‘For real?!’ 

‘Would I lie to you?’ she grinned. 

‘Valid,' Roslyn laughed.

‘C’mon, let’s go have a drink.’ 

***

On their short journey to the pub, Roslyn noticed the lack of people walking around outside. She looked down at her watch. It was only 8:06. So why the hell were the streets damn near empty? Something was fishy. 

Once they made it to the pub, the lights were off there too. Roslyn raised a brow in thought, ‘The pub? Closed this early?’ 

‘Yeah, Seth probably closed up early tonight. But, she pulled out a large ring of keys and jingled them. ‘They don’t call me the key holder for no reason!’ 

‘Whoa— we aren’t breaking in the pub are we?’ 

Maria laughed as she stuck the key in the door and twisted it, ‘Is it really breaking in if I have the key?’ 

She then pushed the door open and jerked her head forward. 

Letting out a breath, she nodded in agreement, ‘Yeah. That’s true.’ And with that, she walked in the dark space. 

Maria walked in behind her and flickered on the lights and everyone jumped out shouting, 

‘SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROSLYN!’ 

Roslyn jumped as her mouth fell. It was safe to say that she was definitely surprised. Streamers hung from the ceiling with a Happy Birthday banner hanging against the back wall. 

She wanted to be so angry about this considering her thinking about birthdays only brought humans a year closer to death. But everyone she loved and adored was here with goofy triangular hats sitting on their heads. For once, everything felt alright with the world. 

She began to laugh hysterically and looked back at Maria, ‘Whose fucking idea was this?!’ 

Maria gave her a playful shrug as she strapped a pink party hat to her own head. 

‘It was mine!’ Roslyn looked back as August just emerged from the crowd and walked up to her. 

He would. 

‘Happy Birthday, Ros.’ 

I can’t lose. When I’m with you. How could I snooze and miss the moment, you’re just too important. Nobody do body like you do. 

She just looked up into his eyes, her heart raced inside her chest. She was so amazed with him, lost for words! 

‘Thank you,’ she grinned up at him. 

‘Alright, alright. Break this up!’ Joel called out, walking up and putting his arms between them and breaking them apart. 

The both of them laughed in slight embarrassment before Joel embraced his girl in his arms. 

‘Happy Birthday baby girl,’ he placed a kiss against her ear, ‘I’m proud of you.’ 

‘Thanks Joel,' she sniffed as she held on to him tightly, trying her best not to ugly cry. 

When the hug was broken, she carefully wiped the corner of her eyes as she laughed. 

‘Awww don’t cry, Roslyn,' Ellie smiled as she walked up to hug her.

‘Shut up! I’m not crying,’ Roslyn cackled. 

Ellie quickly embraced her in a tight hug. 

‘I love you, sis,’ Ellie said softly in her ear as they rocked in sync. ‘I’ve lost so much… so many. And I’m so glad… My journey has brought me to you, Ros. I love you forever.’ 

Roslyn squeezed Ellie tighter as she clamped her eyes shut, hiding her face in Ellie’s shoulder so no one would see the tear that finally fought its way out. 

This was all a very intimate and beautiful moment with Roslyn and her family. As a child she longed for something like this. And now, her biggest fear was losing them. They were her reason for existing. 

Once Roslyn pulled away, she dried her eyes and let out a deep shaky breath,

‘Okay! Enough of this shit! Let’s get this party started!’ 

The pub cheered happily and the music began to play. Roslyn turned to look up at August who had just put a party horn between his teeth. He paused before giving it a strong blow. Roslyn tried to keep her composure but she just laughed and playfully landed a soft punch on his chest. 

‘You’re. Such. An ass! You know I don’t do this kind of stuff!’ 

‘I don’t actually!’ he leaned in with his hands behind his back. 

‘You do! I told you I don’t like celebrating my birthday!’ 

‘You used to not like it. Since I’m gone be stickin’ around… you might get one of these every year. Now, here!’ He reached behind him and picked up a yellow party hat and carefully put it on her head. 

‘Enjoy your party, princess! It’s your day!’ 

I can’t lose. When I’m with you. How could I snooze and miss the moment, you’re just too important. Nobody do body like you do, you do. 

***

The party was now in full swing. It was almost like something out of a movie. People were dancing, drinking, laughing. It was almost like Mother Earth wasn’t choking them to death. 

Roslyn walked over to the bar where August was sitting and staring at her. 

‘You’ve spent the whole night staring at me.’

August chuckled, ‘Is that a bad thing?’ 

‘Nah. Just a little creepy,’ she said, reaching down to grab the elastic band beneath his chin, and snapped it.

‘Ow!’ he laughed as he covered his chin. ‘What was that for?!’ he stood up, towering over her.

‘No reason. So, you're gonna stop being a weirdo and come dance with me?’

‘Hmmm,’ August thought for a minute. ‘Actually, I got a better idea,’ he reached up and took off the party hat. ‘How about we ditch the party.’ 

Roslyn raised a brow, ‘Ditch the party? That you threw for me?’ She poked herself in her chest with her index finger. 

‘Yeah!’ He sounded so positive. 

‘And do what?’

‘That’s for me to know. C’mon! We’ll be back before it’s over.’ He then took her hat off of her head and stacked their hats together before he grabbed her hand. He grabbed their coats and they left the pub in a hurry.  

First they stopped by his house. She waited outside on his porch before he came back out. 

‘That was quick!’ 

‘Yeah. Mikey is up and moving around so he’s taking his own meds now.’

‘Oh well that’s good to hear! Wait, why didn’t he come to the party tonight?’ 

‘I tried to get him to come but he was complaining about the weather.’ 

Well, she could understand that. The only good thing about the cold was it stunted the movement in the herds. At least that’s what everyone thought. 

‘I get that. Anyway,’ she sighed out, ‘Where we goin’?’

August gave her a sinister smirk and leaned in, ‘just wait.’ 

He walked past her and towards the back of the compound. 

Her eyes grew in shock once she’d realized what he was doing. The cold air burned at her chest as she jogged up behind him. 

‘August! August!’ She ran in front of him and placed her hands on his wrists, ‘What the hell are you doing?!’ 

‘We… are sneaking out.’ 

‘And why the fuck would you wanna do that?! Do you not realize how deep in shit you’d— WE would be in if anyone found out?!’ 

August gave her a gentle smile and his head fell to the side. ‘Just come with me. I promise… if we do get in trouble… I’ll take all the blame,’ he lended out his hand. 

‘Good… because this is your idea!’ she stared up at him and then slapped her hand into his. ‘And don’t count on me to bail your ass out. I’ll just tell them you kidnapped me.’

August smiled as the pair walked over to the fence. He then peeled the fence back and let her crawl through, then he followed. 

‘This better be worth it,’ she said glaring at him. 

‘It will! Promise. C’mon,’ and he began to jog ahead. 

‘Ugh! August, wait!’ she called out in a whisper before she went after him. 

But just like her warm breath in the cool air, he disappeared in a flash. 

‘August?!’ she called out for him. 

But nothing! Just the sound of the wind rustling the dead twigs and branches on the trees. Roslyn shivered as she reached in her back pocket, pulled out her beanie and tugged it over her head. 

‘That’s better,’ she hummed softly. ‘Now to see where this fool has gone.’ 

Roslyn clicked on her mini flashlight that was velcro to her coat and searched for any clues to lead her where he was hiding. 

‘August!’ she walked forward until she came across a pair of fresh prints. 

‘Gotcha. Sneaky little shit. August I’m going to kick your ass for leaving me out here by myself! Actually, I think I may tell Joel! He won’t like that too much,’ Roslyn chuckled softly before the quietness around her began to settle in once more. 

It was eerie and the feeling of being left alone made her heart sink. She heard a twig snap nearby. She looked behind her to see where the noise had come from. 

‘August?’ She said softly. ‘August stop playin’! This shit isn’t funny!’ 

The silence rang in the air. Now she was scared. Suddenly, she was hit upside her head with a snowball. 

‘OW!’ She wiped her face, taking off her beanie to shake out the snow and her braids. 

August came from behind a tree cackling like a menacing child as he walked over to her.

‘That’s not funny! You’re such a dick!’ She gave him a playful shove as she did her best not to laugh too.

‘Awww, come on. It was a little funny. Plus, I noticed how scared you were… did you really think I’d leave you out here like this?’ 

Roslyn sighed, softly tugging back on her beanie. 

The answer was delayed and really, she knew that she was safe with August. But she didn’t just trust anybody. This life was all about surviving and throwing anybody in the way of the freight train just to keep yourself alive. 

‘I don’t know. Would you?’

August’s head fell to the side gently as a small smirk grew on his lips, ‘you never have to worry about me leavin’ you, Ros. I got you.’

Her face grew warm as a smile curled up on her full lips, ‘that’s good to know, August. So,” she let out a gentle breath, ‘Where we goin’?’ 

‘Oh yeah! Come on, it’s not far,’ he jerked his head over and swiftly turned around to walk away. 

‘Mmhmm,’ Roslyn hummed playfully as she squatted down and scooped some snow in her hands and patted it into a round ball. 

Then, she allowed him to walk ahead before she threw it and hit him in the middle of his back. August stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder. 

Roslyn stood there with a sinister grin curled on her lips.

August turned around to face her head on, ‘you really wanna do this with me right now? You’re not gonna win this.’ 

Roslyn laughed out and shook her head, ‘right now is as good as any. Look, it’s cold and I’m already ready to get back to the compound. So if I win… we’re going back home. If you win… we can keep going and we’ll both take the blame for our absence at the party tomorrow.’ 

He folded his arms across his chest and thought for a moment, ‘alright. Cool… first person to 10, wins.’ 

‘You’re on!’ she said as she walked up to him and they pounded fists. 

Once she made it back to her side, August launched a snowball and hit her in the shoulder. Roslyn swiftly turned around with a surprise and was hit in the face with another. 

‘Oh–!’ August called out as he covered his mouth and began to laugh.

‘YOU CHEATER!’ Roslyn growled out before snatching up some snow in her palms and running behind a tree. There, she began to form a ball that was stable enough to throw. 

August ran behind a tree and began to form a few balls of snow and stack them, ‘NOT A CHEATER! JUST AN OPPORTUNIST!’ 

‘A CHEATER!’ Roslyn laughed as she peeked around the tree to find him. Once she knew she wasn’t going to get him at this angle, she carefully moved forward to another tree. But not without him throwing another snowball. Thankfully, he missed. 

‘YOU'RE LUCKY! THAT WOULD’VE BEEN 3!’ 

‘IT WOULD’VE BEEN YOUR FIRST ONE PUMPKIN EATER!’ Roslyn called out.

August laughed out as he scooped up his artillery and moved in position to flank her. Stepping from behind her cover, she started to throw the balls at the last place she’d seen him. But little did she know, he was standing right behind her. 

Roslyn began to craft up more balls in a hurry, a goofy and giddy grin burning at her cold cheeks. 

Taking gentle steps, August moved like a thief in the night! He peaked over gently to see the amount of balls she’d created. Too bad she won’t be able to use them. 

He pressed his lips together before letting out a sharp whistle. 

Roslyn stopped her project once she realized she was bested. Closing her eyes, she lifted her hands, ‘OK! You got me!’ 

She laughed.

‘Stand up.’ August commands. 

She stood up slowly and let out a shuddered breath. 

‘Turn around.’ 

Roslyn slowly turned around and kept her hands up with this smug expression on her face. Her eyes caught a glimpse at the 5 balls that sat in his arm.

‘Hmph.’ August smirked, proudly.

‘Shit.’ 

‘Yup!’ 

‘It’s like that?’

‘Just like that.’ 

She shook her head before she looked behind him and a sunken look cursed her face. 

‘August….’ she whispered as she pointed behind him. 

He didn’t even think, the look on her face frightened him and he immediately looked behind him and dropped his snowballs to the ground. But nothing was there. 

‘Wha— there’s nothing—‘ 

When he looked back ahead, she had already darted towards him. She wrapped her arms around his waist with her head resting on his abdomen. 

‘Ugh!’ He grunted as their bodies collided and he fell backwards.

Straddling his lap in a fast manner, she placed her hands on his chest as she breathed heavily. The both of them began to laugh playfully. 

‘Do you surrender?’ she asked.

‘I’m sorry but this wasn’t part of the rules.’

‘It doesn’t matter! You let your guard down.’ 

August laughed and shook his head before he lifted his knee up and rolled them over in a quick movement. Then, he snatched up her wrists and pinned them above her head. 

Roslyn squeaked in surprise at his sudden movement. 

August huffed heavily as he fought the brisk air that burned at his throat and chest, ‘I never let my guard down.’ 

She let out a shuddered breath as she looked up into his cobalt blue eyes. Taking in the icy-ness of them but finding warmth in that blotch of hazel in his eye. 

In the drop top riding round with you, I feel like Scarface. Like the white bitch with the bob, you’d be my main one. 

The air between them grew thick with tension. August’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. He forced his eyes away from hers to look down at her soft plump lips. Suddenly, his urges and thoughts clouded his brain. Causing him to rush in and place a tender kiss on lips; his grip loosening on her wrists.

Roslyn felt relieved that he crossed that line. Carefully pulling her hand away, she placed her gloved hand on his jaw as she savored the taste of his lips. 

August then gently broke the kiss, pulling back to look down at her. 

‘You’re so warm,’ his gaze never left her face, yet his eyes were hooded with such want and desire. 

‘So are you…’ she whispered as her brown eyes flickered to his lips. 

A devious smirk curled up on his lips, ‘I know of an interesting way of warming up… if you wanna.’ 

Roslyn raised a brow, instantly catching the idea. It had been awhile since she had some. And they were alone, this would’ve been the perfect opportunity but, good things don’t last forever… not in this life. 

‘I’m down if you’re down,’ she said in a sultry tone as she relaxed her thighs so he could lay comfortably there. 

‘Well now is as good as—‘

Then, a twig snapped behind them. August paused for a second, placing his index finger against his lips. Carefully and silently, August pulled himself up and helped her up to her feet. 

He then pulled out his gun and gave it to her, whispering, ‘take this. Just in case.’ 

‘Wha— what about you?’ She whispered back in worry. 

‘I have a spare. Just—‘

And an unsettling cracking and clicking filled the air followed by pained grunting and snarling.

‘Infected. What the hell are they doing this close to Jackson?’ Roslyn asked, perplexed.

‘I don’t know. But we have to get rid of them. You with me?’

‘Do you have to ask?’ she smirked. 

‘That’s my girl. Now… silence.’ 

She gave him a nod for him to lead the way, and she followed him in a stack. 

***

The walk was probably 15 minutes when they stumbled across an encampment. It was vacant. Sort of. It consisted of sleeping bags, a few trinkets and emptied cans of food. They’d even created a fire with stone and wood that was now frostbitten. The intruders were gone for sometime now.

August let out a gentle breath as he stepped over a dead log. Roslyn took a step forward but August threw up his fist for her to stop. She let out a shuddered breath as she kept her gun up just in case. Once he’d finished securing the area, he pressed his lips together as he walked back to the campsite. 

‘Come look at this,’ he sheaths his gun back in the holster and squat down before the sleeping bag.

Roslyn walked around the log and walked into the encampment. She’d taken note of the WLF gear that were engraved in their belongings. 

‘They were here…’ 

‘Yeah,’ he uttered and took a deep breath. This was really fucking bad.

Roslyn let out a deep breath and looked down at him. ‘They’re after you…’ 

August let out a shuddered breath, ‘yeah.’

She closed her eyes as reality began to set in. ‘I knew it. I fucking knew it,’ she said through gritted teeth. 

August quickly stood up and looked back at her, ‘is there something wrong?’ His tone was slightly annoyed. 

‘Yeah! As a matter of fact, there is!’ She placed her hands on her hips, ‘now the well-being of Jackson is at risk all because you decided to come here!’ 

‘Look, I didn’t know they’d follow us OK!? You think I’d purposely bring them here?! To hurt you?'

‘Listen, I don’t know what your motive is! But right now, you are the bad guy!’ 

That stung August in the chest. 

‘You think that lowly of me?! Roslyn, you know me!’

‘Ha!’ Roslyn cackled. ‘You think because you threw me a surprise birthday party you think I should know you better?!’ 

A loud screech filled the air, causing them to look ahead. They waited for a second before the grunting became guttural screaming. 

‘They’ve heard us.’

‘Fuck!’ Roslyn cursed as she pulled out her gun. 

Two runners emerged from the darkness of the trees and stumbling behind them were two clickers. 

‘CLICKER!!’ August shouted as he shot at the runners. 

Roslyn began to shoot at their heads. Pieces of cordycep growth ricochet off of them before she put them down. Letting out a breath in relief, she looked up to see August fighting with the last living infected. 

She aimed the gun at the runner’s head but then August shouted,‘ROS! BEHIND YOU!’ 

Looking back, Roslyn was instantly tackled by a stalker. 

‘Ugh!’ She whimpered out as she fought to keep the infected mouth away from her. She held her arm at its throat as her other hand reached out to search for the gun that flew out of her grasp.

‘ROSLYN!’ August shouted out in fear as he managed to grab his ka-bar and stab the runner in the head. 

The stalker began to chomp down as it stretched its neck to try to get a bite. It was getting harder to hold it back by the second. Suddenly, a gunshot rang in the air and the stalker fell into her chest, dead as a door knob. Her ears rang with an eerie vengeance.

‘Ros! ROSLYN’ August shouted as he rushed over to her. 

With blood and brain fragments on her face, she quickly pushed the dead infected off of her, rolled over and emptied the contents in her stomach. Her hands gripped the snow as she dry heaved. 

August quickly rushed over and grabbed her by her shoulders to look at her, ‘Roslyn! Look at me!’ He grabbed her face so she could look up at him. 

Her heaving had stopped but turned into deep breaths. Her eyes focused on his as they began to calm her down. 

‘Shhh… it’s ok. I've got you remember?!’ 

Roslyn gave him a hesitant nod before she felt a stinging pain in her shoulder, ‘ah!’ 

‘You’re hurt,’ August said as his eyes landed on the ripped piece of cloth. 

‘Let’s get this off of you yeah?’ He then unzipped her coat and dropped it to the ground. 

When he looked back up, he’d immediately saw the torn fabric of her sweater on her shoulder. His heart shattered at the grim sight. 

‘Ros…’

Roslyn looked down to find the searing pain. She’d been bitten. 

‘Ah! Oooh… ooh my god!’ She shuddered out, trembling in pain.

This would mean she'd have to tell her deepest darkest secret. The secret that could get everyone around her killed. 

‘Ros, Ros, Roslyn— it’s alright! Look!’ He said as his breathing began to hitch. 

‘It’s not that bad!’ He began to laugh hysterically, ‘it’s … it’s going to be alright… please. Tell me everything is going to be alright!’ his vision began to blur at the bloodied sight. 

‘August…’ she let out a shuddered breath as she caressed his jaw, ‘I have something to tell you. But you have to promise me not to tell anyone. Only Ellie, Joel and Tommy know of this.’

August’s face softened as he looked down at her. 

He carefully took her small hand in his and squeezed it, ‘I promise… what is it?’ 

Roslyn bit into her bottom lip before hissing at the throbbing pain. 

She placed her hand over her shoulder, ‘I’m immune.’

From The River To the Sea, Palestine will be free. I’d like to make it clear that in no shape or form does this page support Israel or Zionism. The creator of the game, Neil Druckmann is a Zionist and I would like to make it very clear that this page stands in solidarity with the people of Palestine 🇵🇸. Boycott the game, boycott the show! CLICK HERE to find links to support and donate to Palestine & please continue to Boycott! Palestine will be free.

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[theetherealbloom]

UNEVEN ODDS - CH. 5

Chapter Five: Our Mistakes Were Bound To Be Made

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Age-gap Romance, Violence, ANGST, Swearing, Suicide, reader in this chapter thinking of unalive, tiny fluff, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, the pandemic, character death, Zombies, eventual SMUT, MY SCIENCE IS WONKY, probable plot holes, rusty writing, TLOU is dark please read at your own risk!

Word Count: 10.8k

A/N: HELLO! WOW UM YOU GUYS ARE SO KIND AND SWEET AND AHHHHH every time I write I get so fricken nERVOUS bcs I want to do it right and I heckin’ put a lot of pressure on myself every time I create something and I want it to be good and now I’m slowly beginning to realize I’m a perfectionist AHKJFHAHA But it’s so worth it, I always look forward to your comments and feedback and warms my heart to see you all enjoying the series so far! ALRIGHT go go go go!

(P.S. UHHH THIS GIF MAKES ME GO FERAL DASKJJFHASKDGH WHY AM I SMILING SO WIDE RN PLS I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM HNGGGG)

Song: hate to be lame (feat. FINNEAS) by Lizzy McAlpine Previous Chapter -> Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

TLOU WORLD - 2023

KANSAS CITY – MIDNIGHT

Joel has his large frame covering your body and you’re trying to steady your breathing. His fingers are still gripping your waist tightly, feeling them pressing onto your skin. You hear Henry speak in a commanding voice, “Eyes on me. Eyes on me.” You and Joel slowly bring your eyes to him, while yours are wide with fear like Ellie’s, Joel’s eyes are narrowed in anger. He’s pissed at himself right now.

Henry has the gun pointed at Ellie, who was kneeling with her hands up, he speaks again, “You don’t have to worry about what to say. We don’t want to hurt you. We wanna help you.” Joel only utters a single word, “Okay.” Henry shifts his weight, making it clear he’s never done this before, “Okay, um…” You try and speak up, “Henry, please put down the gun–” This takes him aback and he sputters in anger, “How the fuck do you know my name?” Your body flinches at the sound of his rising voice and fear of what he would do.

Joel’s gaze darkens, it was like as if a switch had flipped, his vein is close to popping out of his neck, he is the turbulence and wrath all at once, and he shouts at Henry, “Don’t fuckin’ talk to her like that. Only talk to me.” You and Ellie look at him, mouths slightly parting and blinking up at him in shock. There is a sudden pause that fills the fair, and Henry understands that you were important to him, just like the girl who was kneeling in front of him. He shifts his weight again to his other side and speaks calmly this time, “I don’t know what the next step is with something like this but if I lower my gun we didn’t hurt you so you don’t hurt us. Right?”

Joel stares at him with daggers in his eyes, and refuses to warm his tone as he replies, “That’s right.” Henry blinks twice and nervously says, “That’s a weird fucking tone, man.” Ellie is quick in trying to diffuse the situation, “That’s just the way he sounds. He has an asshole voice.” She turns to stare pointedly at him and says, “Joel, tell him he’s okay.” You softly say, “Joel, please.” A beat passes, but Joel doesn’t let up, his voice becomes colder, and stares unwaveringly as he looks at Henry, “Everything is great.”

Ellie lets out an exasperated sigh, “Dude.” While Henry lets out a curse, “Fuck!” His hands are shaking and you get to hear the rattle of the gun as he speaks, “Okay. Listen. I’m gonna trust you.” Henry lifts his arm to get Sam’s attention, the young boy turns his head to his older brother who begins to use sign language, “I’m going to trust him.” Sam signs back to him asking, “Are you sure?” And Henry reassures him, “Yes.” His voice rises again, “But if either of you guys try anything…” He points the gun closer to Ellie’s head, indicating what he means, “Yeah?”

Ellie replies with an unsteady, “Yeah.” And Sam steps off of you and Joel, no longer perched up above you. You feel his grip loosen a bit, but his presence is still there. Joel thinks for a second and asks Henry, “Can we sit up?” And he replies simply, “Yeah. Slow. Get up slow.”

You feel his hands leave your hips and slowly remove himself from you, and you and he sit up slowly, doing as you were told. Joel asks for verification, “Is your name, Henry?” He nods, “Yeah, my name’s Henry. That’s my brother, Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now… my guess is you’re running a close second.” Henry lowers the gun from Ellie’s head, and the uneasiness of the situation dissipates a little bit. You feel your throat closing up as you stare at Sam and Henry, two characters whose futures were written with crayons and coloring books. It was misspelled and outside the lines, and you know their stories end in tragedy.

You, Joel, and Ellie sat across from Henry and Sam, in a fully formed circle. They had asked if you had any food and you nodded, grabbing the remaining packs of food from your bag. The lamp in the center illuminated the room, brushing aside the dark and making room for the bright. You were all chewing and eating quietly, discomfort hanging in the air, a scale waiting to tip off balance, this alliance that had been formed through force and tension.

While chewing, Henry decides to break the silence to ask, “Where’d you get these?” Ellie chirpily replies, “From Bill. He’s dead.” Your lips form into a frown at her words, even though you haven’t met Frank and Bill, the thought of them always causes your eyes to glaze over, your gaze now distant, over the memory of their love and how it ended. Not knowing what to say, the two brothers keep quiet at her statement.

Joel is busy glaring at Henry, unhappy and pissed at his presence, but his overwhelming sense of responsibility takes over and looks to the younger kid Sam, he crumples up the wrapper and gives his remaining food to him. He smiles and taps Henry’s shoulder, signing a thank you, and telling Joel, “He says thank you. I’m guessing you don’t have much, so this means a lot.”

Joel doesn’t say anything and he’s completely stoic, you decide to look at Sam and give him a small wave and you begin to move your hands and arms to sign and speak, “How old are you?” Everyone looks at you in surprise, not expecting what you had done, Henry raises an eyebrow, “You know ASL?” And you nod and signed as you spoke so Sam could also understand, “I’m close with my cousin, she’s deaf. I decided to take up classes early on so I could gossip to her about boys every time she came over after school without my parents finding out.”

Joel can’t take his eyes off of you, his compartmentalization is cracking and this close to shattering. He wonders how he got so lucky to have you with them, and this contrast with Joel’s abject terror at having to feel any sort of fondness or emotions towards you and Ellie. He’s trying to find a reason for him to be angry, to lash out at you for being so kind in an upside-down world, but he can’t bring himself to. 

Sam smiles and signs to you, “Eight.” Ellie smiles and says “Cool. I’m Ellie.” And you sign her name for him, and he nods in understanding, you also sign your name and he smiles at you, what a beautiful kid. Ellie then wacks Joel on the knee so he could be polite and introduce himself, he looks at the girl with a frown, and she persists him, he sighs, “I’m Joel. Look, you ate, we didn’t kill each other let’s call this a win-win and move on.” Henry cleans his hands and swallows the rest of his food, “Well, I’m betting that ya’ll came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. And when the sun’s up I’ll show you one.”

TLOU WORLD - 2023

OFFICE BUILDING, KANSAS CITY – DAY

“Welcome to Killa City.” Henry says as you three look out the large glass window, “No FEDRA.” Joel states and Henry confirms this, “Not as of ten days ago, no.” Joel has his arms crossed over his chest, while you stand beside him, he says, “We always heard KC FEDRA was…”

“Monsters? Savages? Yeah, you heard right.” Henry said and he recounts what happened in those walls, “Raped and tortured and murdered people for twenty years. And you know what happens when you do that to people? The moment they get the chance, they do it right back to you.” You shudder at the thought of that, for twenty years FEDRA raped, tortured, and murdered for sport, all because they had the opportunity and power to do as they pleased. “But your not FEDRA?” Joel asks him, Henry looks up at him, “No, worse. I’m a collaborator.”

“What’s a collaborator?” You ask, and Joel answers you, “He’s a rat. I don’t fuckin’ work with rats,” He’s turning and about to usher you away but Henry is swift as he retorts, “Yeah, you fucking do. Today you do because I live here and you don’t. That’s how I followed you here. I know this city, and that’s how I’m gonna help you get out.” Joel’s eyes narrow in suspicion, “Why help us?”

“I saw what you did. What you both did. The way you killed those men.” His eyes shift to look at you and Joel subtly steps in front of you to block him from staring at you, his protective instinct taking over, Henry stares at Joel again, “Now, I know where to go but I don’t know how to make it through alive. Not if it’s just me and Sam.”

“You seem capable enough. You’re armed.” Joel says and Henry shakes his head, “You’re wrong and wrong. Never killed anyone. And pointing an unloaded gun at both of you was the closest I’ve ever come to being violent. So that’s the deal. I show the way. You clear the way.”

A laugh from Ellie and Sam causes the three of you to bring your eyes to them. They’re reading Ellie’s pun book and giggling to themselves. Henry has made a major admission to the two of you, that their guns were not loaded. Joel faces the window again, trying to decide, and you hug yourself with both your arms and listen to Henry say, “Haven’t heard that in a long time.”

“So how are we getting out?” Joel asks reluctantly with both hands on his hips, he has no other option but to let Henry lead the way. He grabs a piece of paper, places it on the conference table, then uses a pencil and begins to draw a map of the area, he begins to explain how to cross the highway, “Highways, downtown.” He points to the center of the paper, “Us.” He circles a specific area of the map, “This whole area belongs to Kathleen.”

“She’s in charge?” Ellie questions next to you, “Leader of the resistance,” Henry confirms, “You can see the way we’re bounded by highways. They got people posted all around the inside perimeter. If we get close, we get caught. No question. So how do we get across?” Henry bangs on the table, the vibrations getting caught with Sam’s senses, he looks to Henry and signs to him, “How do we get across?” The young boy nods and writes across the Woody Woodpecker doodle pad, and he holds up the board, “Tunnels.”

Henry snaps his fingers, “Boom.” And Joel is perplexed as he questions, “Kansas City has a subway?” The older brother looks down before replying, “No, but they do have maintenance tunnels. There’s a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including… a bank building here.” He begins to draw on the sheet of paper again the graphite leaving marks on it, “So we enter the tunnels here travel underground, and pop up here. Westside North. Residential.” Joel has his mouth twisted to the side while you’re trying to process all the information being said by Henry, “There’s an embankment on the other side of the houses. We head down, pedestrian bridge over the river,” he claps his hand for emphasis, “free as a bird.”

“You’re right. That’s a great plan. So, what do you need me for?” Joel his voice was deep and stern as he asked, Henry, licks his lips nervously and takes a breath before replying, “You noticed anything strange about this city? I mean, other than the strange shit you’ve already seen.” You’re quick to reply, “There’s no infected above ground.”

“Bingo, damn she knows ASL and she’s observant, you’re pretty smart,” Henry says and you stare wide-eyed at his compliment, not knowing how to take it. Joel, however, is clenching his fist, and scowling at him. He clears his throat, uncomfortable and intimidated, “FEDRA drove them underground fifteen years ago and never let them come back up. It’s the only good thing those fascist motherfuckers ever did.”

“So you want us going into a tunnel?” Joel states and Henry quickly defends himself, “Everyone thinks that it’s full of Infected including Kathleen, which means that we’re not gonna be running into any of her people. But you see, what I know is it’s empty.” He smiles smugly and Joel is skeptical, “You’ve been down there?” Henry replies with a meek, “No,” Joel takes a deep, frustrated, breath, about to chew him out but Henry pushes on, “but the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it’s clean, completely clean. They cleared it out. All of it.”

“When?” Ellie asks this time, “Like three years ago.” Henry replies, and Joel tsked at him while placing both palms on the table, shaking his head in disapproval, he responds with, “Okay, maybe, there’s one or two but you handle it.” Joel looks up at him, “What if there’s more?” Ellie adds, “And one of those blind ones that sees like a bat?” Henry looks surprised, “Wait, you ran into a clicker?” The young girl acts brave, “Two of them.” He then says proving his point, “And you’re still alive. You see? You’re the right people. If it gets bad down there we turn around and run right back out the same way we came.” Joel pushes himself off the table, puffing his chest, “That’s your great plan?” Henry shoots back, “No, that’s my dicey-as-fuck plan. But as far as I could tell,” he shrugs, “it’s our only shot.”

Joel sighs and you hear a thumping sound from the table, it’s coming from Sam, and he signs, “What are they saying?” Henry looks to you for an answer, and immediately your gaze is fixed on Joel, the temper in his eyes cool down and soften, this tells you all you need to know, you look to Sam as you speak and sign to the young boy, “We’re going to help you escape.”

TLOU WORLD - 2023

BANK BUILDING, KANSAS CITY – DAY

The group makes their way across the street and into the abandoned bank. The tall glass windows made you restless, if one of the rebels drove by someone could spot you easily. Joel reads your mind as he says, “We need to get out of sight.” Henry takes a look around and spots the entrance, “Uh, I think it’s this way.” Joel nods and the group breaks into a jog to the right-side hallway of the bank building. The squeak of the door fills breaks the silence and the shine of flashlights chase away the darkness. All of you enter, and Henry says to Joel, “This should be it. You ready?” Joel shifts his gaze to Ellie and then you, “Get your gun out.”

Ellie smiles and pulls it out of her jacket pocket and you do the same, Joel begins to take the lead and you trail behind him. He pushes the large metal maintenance door, shining his flashlight and making sure it’s clear. “See, it’s empty. The plan is good.” Henry says optimistically, and you shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. You hear Joel shush him, “The plan is good? We’ve been down here for two seconds. We don’t know anything.” Henry leans back a little, tilting his head at Ellie and you, “You’re dad’s kind of a pessimist.” And in synchronized fashion, the two of them reply, “He’s not my dad.” While Joel says, “I’m not her dad.” You nearly laugh and hide your face with one of your hands as the other was currently holding the flashlight and gun. Henry doesn’t say anything and Joel begins to give instructions, “Just point your light forward and be ready to run.”

You walk a few paces behind Joel with Ellie right behind you, the sound of footsteps echoes in the tunnel, and with every step, you hear the sound of the cement beneath your boots. After what seems like an hour, you take a left, to a section of the tunnel, and stumble across a colorful entrance, one you instantly recognize from one of the scenes in the video game. A castle is painted at the entrance of the door, and blue covers the walls representing the sky, people were drawn on them, child-like in manner. Flowers were painted, along with hills and rainbows.

Ellie lets out a quiet, “Woah,” as your lights bounced around the walls to admire and inspect them. You see Sam about to open the door but Joel stops him while shaking his head, “No.” He goes first, pushing the heavy door, taking a peek with his gun out, and finding no infected.

The rest of the group follows him inside to find chairs, tables, toys, and books scattered around the room. You see the large goal painted on the wall and find a ball right next to it. Joel looks up to find the ventilation fan and says, “I heard about places like this. People went underground after Outbreak Day. Built settlements.”

“What happened to them?” Ellie asks, and Joel looks at the whiteboard with the written house rules, “Maybe they didn’t follow the rules and they all got infected.” Ellie hums and walks over to one of the tables, Sam plops down on one of the chairs, and she messes around with him. Joel looks at a kid’s drawing on the wall, figures representing Danny and Ish. You look over his shoulder and then approached the wall, grabbing the drawing. Joel watches you and asks, “Do you know who they are?” You nod, “Yeah, Ish’s backstory might be different though. But the summary of it is that he established a community here with another guy named Danny, and Suzan and Kyle, with their kids. And several others, but at some point, a door was left open. Just like you said, someone forgot to follow the rules.” Joel sees you frowning and your eyes sad, “What happened to them?” You look up at him, “Ish, Suzan, and the kids escaped and made it out to the suburbs, after that their fate is unknown.”

You hear Ellie and Sam find a Savage Starlight comic and hear her excitement, “No way! I love these!” They begin to converse over the comic issues that they have, you shine your light around the room, looking through books and drawings. You hear Ellie speak again, “To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and Survive.” He begins to teach her how to sign the last two words, “Endure. Survive. Fuck yeah, man!” And they giggle and high-five.

“Keep it down. We’re not out yet.” Joel says and you’re busy grabbing one of the science books that was left behind, you hear Ellie groan, “Oh, c’mon. Can we just rest here for a while? There’s like actually shit to do here.” Henry pipes in, “Wouldn’t be so bad to wait the light out a bit. Safer in the shadows when we pop back out on the other side.” You also decide to mumble, not caring if they heard or not, “And let them be kids for a bit. It wouldn’t hurt them to have a little fun.”

Ellie looks at Joel, and seemingly outnumbered, he shrugs and lets them do whatever. The three of you sit at the table, next to Joel, while he and Henry watch both of the kids play. You are busy studying the book you found, was a bit outdated, but it still held the key information you needed to review, and for some reason, you’re having a hard time remembering important memories.

You hear Ellie and Sam having the most fun that they’ve had in years. Their life is a gorgeous broken gift, with billions of people waiting to be fixed. They were just kids who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up, and suddenly it fits. They grew up too quickly, but if only they knew, that the sunlight shines a little brighter, the weight of the world’s a little lighter all because of them. 

You hear Joel lowly speak, “If you were… collaboratin’ to take care of him I shouldn’t have said what I said. I don’t know you’re situation. And I’m not sayin’ they should let it go, but… All things considered, seems kinda cruel… to send a whole army after you for that.” You raise your eyes from the book, watching the two men, Henry looks down before he admits what information he was hiding, “You know, I wasn’t… exactly telling you two the truth before about me not killing someone.”

Joel turns to look at him with his mouth slightly parted while your eyes are simply waiting for him to continue, “There was a man, a great man. You know, he was never afraid, never selfish, and he was always forgiving. Have you ever met someone like that? Kind of man you’d follow anywhere.” Your leg begins to bounce up and down in anticipation while you slowly bring your eyes to Joel. He wasn’t that kind of man, and despite that, you knew deep down you follow him anywhere. Henry continues and your eyes dart back to him, “I mean, I wanted to. I would’ve. Yeah, but… Sam, he… he got sick. Leukemia.” Your leg stops bouncing after that, you completely go numb and breathing becomes a little harder. A pause between you three, a dose of reality that there were plenty of other illnesses and diseases besides the cordyceps they had to worry about. The quality and value of human lives have deteriorated over the twenty years in their world, and the decisions people have collectively made, to fight each other rather than together inevitably cause the apocalyptic world they have today. You know so little, yet fear so much. You aspire not to expire at the hand of some infectious disease. Children can no longer have proper childhoods, and no more clumsy start to adolescence, the moment they were brought into this world, they now also carry the burden of the past.

Henry continues, “Yeah, anyway… there was one drug that worked and, whoa, big shock. There wasn’t much left of it and it belonged to FEDRA. And if I wanted some it was gonna take something big. So I gave them something big. That one great man. The leader of the resistance movement in Kansas City. And Kathleen’s brother. Yeah, so… you still think they should take it easy on me? Or am I the bad guy?”

You rub the side of your face in exhaustion and stress, while Joel gives him a one-shoulder shrug, “I don’t know what you’re waitin’ on, man. The answer’s easy. I am the bad guy because I did a bad guy thing.” You shake your head, “What was his name?” He promptly responds, “Michael.” You continue, disagreeing with his statement, “No, it will never be that easy. You made a human decision. You took a risk because of your love for Sam at the cost of an uprising that wouldn’t have even happened if you hadn’t done what you did.” Henry only looks at you with guilt then he stares at Joel, “But you get it, though. You might not be her father, but you were someone’s.” Joel doesn’t deny it and simply looks down at the table while Henry goes on, “See, I could tell.” He shifts his gaze at you again, “You weren’t a parent, but I see how hard you try to be there for everyone.”

Joel looks at you for confirmation, but you merely blink with a gaze full of denial, you turn away and stand up from your chair while grabbing your flashlight, gun, and bag, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. The sun is about to set, let’s go.” For the first time, you were the one to walk away.

TLOU WORLD – 2023

PARKING LOT OF THE BANK OF AMERICA, ON THE WAY TO THE SUBURBS, KANSAS CITY – NIGHT

The sound of the metal door opening fills your ears as you walk out of the stairwell, flashlights shine through the darkness as Joel asks, “Do you know where we are?” Henry replies with optimism, “Yep. The other side.” You begin to walk away from the parking lot and into the suburbs. You pull Joel to the side and tug on his arm, he leans down to your height before you could go on your tip toes, and you whisper, “Joel, I’m not sure Sam and Henry are gonna make it. So far it’s been good, and things might’ve changed but I’m not sure what’s going to happen next, ‘cause I can’t remember how it goes from here.”

He looks at you with great concern, “What do you mean?” Your eyebrows tense and your eyes nervously move and shift as the words spill out of your mouth, talking in circles, “Henry might kill himself, but I don’t know why, something is stopping me from fully remembering, I was gonna tell you as soon as I could, but everything was happening so fast and at first I couldn’t recognize anything until the settlement we found… but I can’t… I’m trying my hardest, I swear but–” Joel grips your shoulders and you freeze, “Look at me.” You can feel your heartbeat racing, the anxiety running through your bloodstream and crippling your ability to breathe, “Hey… Hey. Look at me. It will be fine, we’ll figure it out, together.” Your eyes slowly fix on him as the both of you stood there, you know Joel doesn’t make promises, he isn’t at that point yet, but his sense of needing to care for you, to find a way to get rid of your distress, is slowly overpowering his practicality right now. He feels it within himself as his eyes are steadily on yours, trying to keep you grounded, here with him. Slowly, you come back to yourself and take a deep breath, mimicking his breathing.

The world was brighter before you had learned to dim it down, now you call it survival, breath is borrowed and our compass within you stands still. Beneath your brave and trusting feet, all revelations come to you in recovery, you start to nod at the man in front of you, who had his hand still gripped on your shoulders, “I’m fine. I’m okay. Let’s keep going.”

You hadn’t realized that the rest of the group had stopped a few steps ahead of you to give you and Joel the privacy you needed, he lets go and you follow him forward, Ellie only gives you a reassuring smile and you gently smile back at her. There are rows of houses sound asleep, and only streetlamps notice you, while you look for signals, for a clue.

Joel continues to lead the pack and you hear Henry comment from behind you, “No one is here. No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.” You look up to the sky in annoyance as you, “Can you not say shit like that. It’ll jinx us.” And Joel clicks his tongue at him, “So much goddamn talkin’.” Ellie smirks at both of your attitudes while Henry points out, “I’m just sayin’, I deliver.” He raises his arm and directs, “Make this right, go down the street embankment behind the last house… and we’re out.”

Ellie peers at Henry questioning him, “So we cross the river, and then what? Where ya gonna go?” He ponders for a moment, “Don’t know yet.” And Ellie can’t help herself as she says to him, “Well, we’re goin’ to Wyoming.” Joel turns his head to glare at Ellie, she shrugs at him, “What? It’s a huge state. It can fit two more people.” He looks ahead, not wanting to argue with her, Henry senses Joel doesn’t want them joining, “Yeah. Maybe we just call this one a success and say our fond farewells.” Ellie replies, “No. He’ll change his mind. Trust me. This is how it goes.” Then she begins to mock Joel’s tone and voice, “He’s like, ‘No, Ellie. Never, ever, ever happening.’ And then I’m like,  ‘I’m gonna ask you a million more times.’ And he’s like–”

The sound of a bullet piercing through one of the rusting cars on the side of the street causes all five of you to flinch and duck your heads, you hear Ellie scream, “Fuck!” You’re all confused and puzzled, looking for the source of the sound. A second shot rings out and you all fully process you’re now in a potentially life-threatening situation. Joel shouts and covers you all, “Move! Move! Go!” You all run to hide behind a car, and get low on the ground, “Where the fuck is that coming from?” Henry asks and Joel hisses at him, “Shut up.”

Joel peeks to try and identify where the sniper is positioned, he sees a muzzle flash go off at the end of the road, the highest window of the last house, and he ducks back down. The sharp sound of glass shattering behind you. You hear Henry, “Shit. All right, fuck. Let’s move. Let’s go.” And proceeds to grab Sam by the wrist, attempting to run away, Joel yells at them for their naiveness, “What are you doin’?” He replies, “Gettin’ the fuck outta here!” But another gunshot rings out, hitting the rooftop of one of the nearby cars, Henry reacts and drags Sam back to the three of you, he asks panting, “What do we do?” Joel tries to peek again and luckily the guy misses and hits the car’s trunk.

After assessing the situation, Joel tucks his revolver back in his gun holster, “All right. Stay here.” Ellie whips her head to look at him and you do the same, all at once you both say, “What?” He brings his body to fully face the both of you, “If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you. I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house from the back, and then I’ll take him out.” Ellie brings up her valid concern, her voice filled with worry, “But if you go out there he’s gonna kill you.” Joel responds with confidence, “It’s dark and he has shit aim. Nobody’s gonna kill me.” She tries to argue, “Then he’s gonna kill us.”

A beat passes. Then Joel looks directly at Ellie, his eyes firm and steady, with no ounce of doubt, he asks her full of conviction, “Do you trust me?” Ellie swallows down her fear, blinks, and nods. “Birdie, watch over her,” Joel commands and leaves you no room or time to argue, he gets up and proceeds to make his way over to the house down the road.

You and Ellie anxiously watch from a distance, each second you’re secretly praying and wishing that nothing happens to him. Your heart is beating so loudly, the sound of drums beating and thumping non-stop, your worry so evident that you try and stop the oncoming tears that threaten to spill off your face. How quickly did you grow attached to someone who you once believed wasn’t even real? The truth is, the chances are you are alike, against the odds and the grain. Against what better judgment writes, you both ache like children for love. You have no stakes on the ground or an anchor tied down. There are no guarantees, you know nothing but your fears of attachment and neediness.

You toss your feelings away, letting them sink deep below the ocean floor in your chest. It doesn’t matter. You remind yourself and watch him make his way to the back of the house, no longer seeing the silhouette of his figure. Two more loud pops and then the gunfire stops, the four of you sit in quiet eerie silence. You couldn’t tell if minutes or an hour had passed, but a distant gunshot could be heard, this time not directed at any of you. 

You hear a revving car from a distance, and Joel distant yell but is unable to understand what he’s trying to communicate. Ellie’s ears perk up and you all stand to see lights appearing from a distance. Shit. You grab Ellie by the wrist and yell out, “Run!” You feel your whole body working; your leg muscles running warm, cold air entering your lungs and blood flowing into all your limbs. Your calves burned, and your breath formed clouds in the air. You look up at the house while sprinting, and from a distance you see Joel trying to take out the driver of the plow that was barreling through the cars. You and Ellie try to shoot while running, but it does essentially nothing to stop the truck.

The tensions heighten when Joel’s rifle jams and you three are helplessly trying to evade the plow. But this jam provides pause for Joel to collect his breath and re-aim, so the next shot he fires takes out the plow driver. The large truck crashes into a house, causing it to go ablaze and a loud explosion occurs. Ellie falls to the grown and you pick her right back up, quickly ushering her to Henry and Sam, who were hiding behind one of the old and rotting cars, you ask her, “You okay?” She replies with a small, “Yeah.” You hear a loud voice coming from a woman, assuming it’s Kathleen, “Dead end, Henry. Gonna step on out? Save us some time? No? That’s all right, it doesn’t matter.”

Henry looks at Sam, who’s terrified and shaking, he yells out, “I’ll come out! Just let the girl and the kids go!” Kathleen clicks her tongue and in a calm tone, she responds, “No. Sorry. Those two girls are with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam… Well, Sam’s with you.” Henry argues, “You don’t understand!” And the rebel leader pushes back, “But I do. I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?” His voice chokes up as answered, “He’s just a fucking kid!” You can hear the way Kathleen rolls her eyes, “Well, kids die, Henry. They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth… everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”

You couldn’t help yourself, the lightheadedness you feel, the built-up stress, the adrenaline within you, the gasoline that had turned into a flame, an anger that could match a bull’s, recklessly you shout at her, “I’m sorry about Michael, I am. But, Kathleen, can you fucking look past your revenge? Past your hate? Did you even fucking realize that none of this would have happened, your so-called freedom and victory over FEDRA would have never happened if your brother hadn’t died.”

“You have no idea what it’s fucking like! To be without him! He was everything!” She shrieks and you raise your voice louder, “I fucking do! To have everything you’ve known and loved taken away from you? To lose? I know it all too well. Kathleen, can’t you see? We all lost. All of us lost the day the outbreak happened.” There was a pause, and you hear the gears turning in their heads, you continue, “Will killing us bring them back from the dead, or will it just validate your anger? The world ended and all this time we’ve wasted trying to kill each other instead of working together to try and fix the obvious problem. And for what? Tell me. What good did it do?”

A collective silence fills the air, save for the only noise coming from the burning house across the street, Kathleen shakes her head and shifts her weight from one foot to the other, sealing her fate, “I don’t care.” 

You shake your head in disappointment, Henry grabs you by the wrist, “Get ready to take them and run.” You start to argue but reassures you, “Yes! Do it.” You grab Ellie’s hand while she holds Sam’s, ready to run. You hear Kathleen speak again, “It’s time, Henry. Enough!” He takes a deep breath before you watch him stand up, his hands in the air, walking into their view. Kathleen shrugs, “It ends the way it ends.” The click of a gun could be heard, and you anticipate the gunshot but instead hear a loud rumbling noise.

You peek past the cars to see the plow truck has damaged the basement of the house, caving a hole into the sewers below, and then you hear the familiar sound of groans and screeching. The Infected geyser up out of the hole, all at once, sprinting towards the rebels. The sounds of gunfire rang out and more infected came up out of the hole, they seemed infinite. Henry joins back to the three of you and hides behind the truck, a Clicker chases after him and stands atop the truck only for it to get shot by Joel. Henry grabs Sam and decides to run away, you and Ellie do the same. Only for you to get separated when a Clicker grabs Ellie, and Joel shoots it from the perch. The impact causes you both to fall, this is when you and Ellie spot an open car window. Knowing you won’t fit, you tell Ellie, “Go, I’ll help clear the way and then find another way to the house.” She nods and begins to crawl, and you raise your gun and fire at the infected, trying your best to protect Ellie, doing what Joel asked of you. Hearing the more shots from above, you knew Joel was also clearing the way for Ellie.

When she crawls through the window, your mind begins to race. You need to find cover and fast. Finding another car, you duck behind it, reloading your gun as you do. You shouldn’t draw attention, and make as minimal noise as possible. The screams of rebels being attacked fill your ears as well as cars ramming over dozens of Infected. A Clicker approaches you but you push down your fear and side-step it, twisting your body and then shooting twice at its head. It falls limp to the ground, a Runner tries to grab you but you manage to hit it with the butt of your gun, shooting it straight in the head.

You hear a large growl from the crater, and turn your body to look for the noise. Motherfucker. A Bloater begins to emerge from the underground, completely covered in fungal armor plating, its belly sagging and spores popping out from each part of its body. The massive beast tears into the army like it's made of paper people. No amount of bullets will do any damage to the Bloater, and you have zero molotov cocktails, the best course of action was to get Ellie and run. You spot and see Ellie hastily crawl out of the van, a child clicker screaming from the inside of the car. You dart your eyes to see where Ellie is going and spot Henry and Sam surrounded by two Infected.

You sprint your way over there, helping Ellie get rid of the first Clicker and Joel shooting the second one from a distance. A thin layer of sweat covers the back of your neck, and you can feel the aching of your back, as you fight off another Clicker, its mouth screeching at you and trying to bite you. Another loud pop of a gunshot rings out and the Clicker goes limp, you take a large breath and grab Ellie, along with Sam and Henry. The young girl yells out, “Come on… come on! Go… Go!”

You make it out past all the chaos to the front area of the last house, as you run, you hear Kathleen shout, “Stop!” All of you turn to face her, she has a gun pointed directly at Henry. Your heart is racing, and your breathing rate rises rapidly, you bring your eyes to an infected crawling from behind the fence, and Kathleen turns to see what you’re looking at. She was too slow to react, the child Clicker shrieked and jumped on top of her, and the leader of the rebellion fell to the ground screaming. The creature thrashes and mauls her alive as she’s screeching for her life. A car crash you couldn’t turn away from, as you watched her get bit, mumbling under your breath, “Comeuppance.”

Joel makes his way downstairs and outside the house to find all of you frozen, he yells to get his group's attention, “This way now! Move!” Joel is the last to follow, ensuring everyone’s safety. Even from a large distance, you could hear the hundreds of clickers making their way into Kansas City, ready to infect and destroy the foundations they have built.

TLOU WORLD – 2023

ABANDONED MOTEL SUITE, KANSAS CITY – NIGHT

With the fighting over, the five manage to find a safe refuge away from the carnage. A motel suite far away from the infected in the city, for now. The stars are a choir in the symphony of the black; they are lights that sing in limitless ways. Sometimes music is needed for the eyes, and the deeper the night, the sweeter the melody.

You, Joel, and Henry sit in the musty living room area. Henry is sitting on top of a bedside table, while Joel is sitting on the floor, one leg curled up to his chest while the other is stretched out, he has his back to the radiator, and you are next to him curled into a ball, elbows almost brushing, but they don’t. You can hear the chirping of crickets, indicating the bugs have come out to play and exchange stories. The only source of light is the yellow glow from the bedroom, you watch Ellie and Sam continue to read the comic book that they found from the settlement.

“You think they’ll be okay?” Henry asks, still eating the remaining food you’ve packed. Joel nods, “Yeah, I think. It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway.” There’s an audible gulp as he swallows, “You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.” Henry nods, “Well… I guess we’re doing a good job then.” Joel agrees, “What’s that comic book say? Endure and survive?” And the other man confirms it, “Endure and survive. That’s shits redundant.” Joel gives a breathy laugh, “Yeah, it’s not great.” Henry chuckles with him, “Yeah, no.”

You get up from the floor, not having the heart to tell them how they were wrong. Those kids now felt an enormous amount of responsibility for one another. And to survive means to stave off death, but to endure means to emotionally harden oneself, and tolerate the pain of survival. You begin to walk out the door of the room and Joel calls your name but you don’t turn around, he calls for you again, “Where are you goin’?” You don’t look at him as you lie through your teeth, “I’m just gonna go look at the stars for a bit. I’ll be right outside the door.” You exit the room after that, quietly shutting the door, and sitting on the pavement that faces the parking lot.

You let out a loud sigh, close your eyes, and cover them with your hands. You’re completely worn out, your mind is full but you can't speak, these tired gears, and you’re here somewhere between, drained from the events of today. You remove your hands from your face and take the gun out of your holster, letting it lay flat on the palms of your hand. The heavyweight of your decision rests on a single action.

You nervously lift the left sleeve of your jacket, the bitemarks of the infection are there, but there is no sign of it spreading, no yellowing or puss seeping out of your skin. Your mouth partially opens in shock and confusion, with only one thought in your mind. What the fuck?

You pull the sleeve of your jacket down. This doesn’t make any fucking sense. Then again, you’re in a supposed fictional world with its main cast of characters. None of it should make sense. But you figured, the rules would apply to you as well, that you could get infected. You felt ignorant, humiliated, and painfully unmagical. You are old enough to distinguish a sorceress from a lonely girl, and magic from survival. You make every effort to leave the past alone; it is the result of living in the between, the weight of your found family, and the pull of gravity.

You slowly form your hypothesis in your head as to why you’re immune. Could it be because you weren’t supposed to be here in the first place? You recall something from your previous research notes, ‘In theory, it could be possible to analyze the state of every atom in a person’s body and transmit it to a new location, where the person could be reassembled atom by atom.’

You take a large inhale and rest your head on your hand, which means needing enough information and processing power by using a quantum system, and while measuring, there are multiple possibilities, until the measurement is conducted. But that processing power would have needed an immense amount of energy.

In the tug of war between the tide, you were swept ashore like bottles holding prayers. The courage you contained, and the flutter of your earnest heart, will fill the silent seas, and it has restored a part of your memory. Radiation has become a key factor in the multiple theories you’ve read over the years. So when your atoms had been reassembled, your body must have also mutated and adapted to kill foreign infections, including the Cordyceps.

You hear the sound of the door closing and you don’t need to guess who was there behind you. With the heavy footsteps and sound of the rustling jacket, he quietly groans as he sits next to you on the pavement, the smell of ash and smoke exuding from his being. Joel notices the gun, which was now on your lap but he remains silent, not knowing what to say or do, while you’re deciding if you should share what you’ve discovered with him. You didn’t even register that you were bouncing your leg up and down again until he cautiously and slowly placed his hand on your knee, which caused you to stop the action.

You tilt your head to look at him, and he sees the clear glaze around your eyes, this moment, where you recognize you have no idea what the future holds anymore and the story you’ve been silently telling yourself about what the future is going to be like, has fallen apart in a matter of minutes. It doesn’t get replaced with any new information, it’s simply vanished, an atmospheric tumult. You find no comfort in this discovery, it's like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark and mistaking one stair for another. Your foot slips through the air, and you have a sickening moment of gloomy astonishment as you struggle to reset your perspective. 

You are desperate for some kind of clue, this kind of fear of the unknown terrifies you, the sudden obliteration of expectation, the overwhelming feeling of frustration and fear builds up and rushes down like a rapid river stream. You bite down your lip to stop it from trembling and fold your hands to stop them from shaking. You’re trying to find the best way to avoid confrontation or conflict, but Joel still has his hand on your knee, not letting you get up and leave again without explaining yourself. You could be described as a great river, one which can carry everything along with them but with a hidden dammed-up reservoir of energy. You have very little access to it, due to feeling bad for rocking the boat. For this reason alone, you are generally tired all the time.

Take a deep breath to center yourself, willing yourself to not stutter, and you tell him word by word what you’ve discovered and the possibility of how you got into this world. He stays silent, listening to every word coming out of your mouth, even the science jargon he’s not used to. But what he does understand is, you’re immune just like Ellie. He’s still silent by the time you’re done, and you’re so nauseous that you might throw up on him. You turn away from him, waiting for him to lash out at you, scream and leave you behind. He takes his hand away from your knee, you feel the air in your lungs refusing to leave, and you shut your eyes, anticipating the warm body next to you to walk away.

Instead, he removes the gun from your lap and places it on the ground right next to him, then he holds your elbow cautiously and gently, and your eyes open in surprise, you watch him roll up your sleeve to see the bite completely faded, leaving an almost unnoticeable scar. He brings his eyes to yours and he anchors you down safely, there is rage in his eyes, and you quietly whisper, “Joel?”

You feel his hands squeezing your arm as he hissed at you, “Are you out of your goddamn mind? You should’ve known better than to go out there fightin’ all those infected. How could you be so reckless? What were you thinkin’?” You’re befuddled by his sudden lashing out, you narrow your eyes and try to uncover what he truly meant, and you try to calmly reply, “Joel, it’s okay... Next time, I’ll be more careful, and since I’m immune–” He talks over you, stern and unsmiling, “There will be no next time.” You pull back a little from him, “What? Are you serious? I’m immune and there was barely a scratch on me when the car–” He doesn’t let you finish your sentence, his voice so cold as he says, “You got hurt. Twice. Because of me. Of what I did and keep asking you to do and you would’ve ended up like–”

You frown and can’t help the questions in your mind spiral, what if your injury had gotten worse or you hadn’t been immune? You could have turned. Just like Tess. Does he believe you’re her replacement? That you could be like her? Or you could end up like her?

You blink at him, putting more distance between you two, there is a war inside of you, you are out of depth at this altitude, it’s suffocating you, and feel your walls cave in. Your throat closes up at the thought of him thinking you were like her, that you could ever be her replacement, and your voice is soft and vulnerable as you admit the words you never wanted to say, “Joel… I’m not her. I’m not Tess.” He flinches and recognizes the hurt in your tone, and his heart sinks to his stomach faster than a stone hitting the bottom of a lake. You turn away from him, not wanting to give in to his warmth and strong protective nature, “I’m not her.”

The absence of sound between you two is deafening and consuming all that it touches. In your mind, you beg for it to stop, the need to fill the gaps with a problem you both don’t need. With folded arms and tired eyes, you try your hardest not to cry. The heavy ache in his chest leaves him restless and unable to find the right words to say. Sensing that there was nothing left to say, you stand up and turn to walk away but Joel grabs your wrist and you bring yourself to look at him to see his eyes silently pleading for you to stay. You bite the inside of your cheek and sit back down, expecting Joel to let go but he doesn’t. This causes you to lift your eyes and find him with his mouth open, trying his best to communicate with you without his pride and anger getting in the way of something good.

“You’re right, you aren’t Tess.” He said with his voice low, and can’t help the tears spill out from the rim of your eyes, you whip your head away from him, trying to pull your wrist from his grasp but he doesn’t let up, “Joel, let go of me.” He doesn’t, instead, he holds you tighter and says, “You aren’t Tess, Birdie. You are so much more than that… You are one of the good in my life that I… Hummin’ bird, I don’t know what I’d do if…”

He has trouble continuing, him admitting fragments of what he said shook you to your core. You’re incredibly clever but it takes you a while to process what he meant, so you tilt your head and try to see past his defenses, with these tall invisible walls he keeps himself in. You try to understand his perspective, it is why your mouth forms an ‘o’, not a gasp but the start of, oh, of course. He doesn’t see you as her. But he is angry, yes, but not at you, at himself. He wasn’t able to fully protect you. He made the tough call of crashing the car into the laundromat and you got hurt in the process. And then specifically asked you to watch over Ellie for him and you got bitten because of what he asked you to do. 

You slowly lift your other hand to rest on his cheek, and he flinches, but after a moment he allows himself to relax, unsure and clumsy, you say, “Joel. I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m here with you. See?” You feel the want of thrill, of taking a risk. The pleasure of feeling the rush as feel yourself grow warmer. You let it happen.

The cracks begin to show, he feels his restraint slipping away, brick by brick and piece by piece. His struggle is not anymore with you, but with himself, his fears and desires, and the cognitive dissonance arising within. God, he’s so afraid, he wants so badly for his selfishness to win, and chooses to flutter his eyes close, with your hand still on his cheek, gently stroking his face, and for once, he thinks to himself, just for tonight, he leans closer to your touch, letting you become his sanctuary.

TLOU WORLD – 2023

ABANDONED MOTEL SUITE, KANSAS CITY – DAY

You had fallen asleep on the dark green carpeted floor next to Joel, using both of your jackets as pillows. Joel had moved in his sleep again and curled himself around you. His heavy warm arms wrapped around your waist and the ghost of his breath on your neck.

A loud thump and the sound of Ellie screaming jolts you and Joel awake. You sit up and see Sam tackle Ellie out the door of their bedroom. She hits the carpet, trying to fight off Sam, who’s scratching and shrieking at her, he has turned into the first stage of the infection. Ellie’s yells are piercing through your ears and you crawl to reach for the gun next to you, only for Henry to snatch it before you.

“Nope!” Henry says as he aims the gun at you and Joel, and Ellie is shrieking your names, for you and Joel to save her. You and Joel have a look of pure rage as you both try and take a step forward only for Henry to shoot at the floor, causing both of you to flinch back. Ellie tries again, wailing and crying out your names, and it only takes a second, before Henry turns the gun and shoots Sam right through the head. Blood splatters on the wall and the young superhero goes limp on the ground.

Your entire body is trembling, while Ellie is kneeling on the ground, looking at Sam’s lifeless body, you look at Henry, who is whimpering and sobbing, he blinks and watches his little brother’s blood stain the carpet, like spilling ink. Joel is heavily breathing and focuses on the young girl, “Ellie,” she turns numbly at him, “Are you okay?” He goes walk towards her, only for Henry to point the revolver at Joel’s head. Without a second thought, you step forward, protecting Joel from Henry. You raise your hands in front of you and plead, “Henry, easy, easy… Henry, please give me the gun.” His breath is shaking and erratic as he asks, “What did I do?” You try and calm him down, “Henry…” He doesn’t listen and still asks, “What did I do? What… what did I do?” He looks down at Sam’s limp and still body, the blood still pooling onto the carpet. A dark shade of maroon continued to seep out from his skull. “Sam?” He asks, lips quivering and his eyes full of fear, he looks back over to you, and you wail, “Henry, please don’t–”

He aims the pistol at his head, and you swore you saw before you blinked. There was no second thought, no going back or erasing. An avalanche now spent in white flag waking days. The loud pop, thud, and shriek follow in a sequence that will haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life, a memory wielded as a weapon. Every good intention is overshadowed by the stain of the past. Death is a blindfolded, bitter kiss. It's the finger put against your lips, emphasizing how they should have lived.

TLOU WORLD – 2023

OUTSIDE THE ABANDONED MOTEL SUITE, KANSAS CITY – DAY

You and Joel are outside, and the sound of shoveling dirt is a sound you’ve now grown to despise. The cold wind moves in only to meet the warmth of your blood, the only defense you have left. You feel it wash over your skin, again and again, only to be met by the beat of your aching heart. Fairness is a ghost, and its sightings take shape in such permanent truth. In the sullen silence, you were all taking turns shattering apart.

Ellie had gone back inside the motel room to get the rest of your things as you and Joel patted down the dirt, creating a small graveyard for the two brothers. If you could turn back the hourglass, you would. Reset every grain of sand, and give these two a proper chance at living the life they should have lived, you would. Your mind continues to spin webs of question marks and regrets as you stop your movements and stand there with instability. Ellie toses two backpacks on the ground, you watch her kneel on one knee and place the doodle pad on Sam’s grave, with ‘I’m Sorry’ written on it, the string of the pen is wrapped around the top and the pen is safely tucked in, making sure no one else will be able to write anything else.

Ellie stands up and asks Joel, “Which way’s west?” He only responds by tilting his head in the direction of it. She’s the first to walk away this time, a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury her innocence. You and Joel say nothing as you stare at the note, and hear her call for you both, “Let’s go.”

You both drop your shovels and grab your things, catching up to Ellie. Your steady true north fades, the three of you walking toward where the sun sleeps and casting your silhouettes as you do. Maybe there’s no answer here, at least neither one of you are ready to hear. No string of words will justify it or a simple equation to show you the solution and answer. In the meantime, you learn that you don’t have all the answers, just a little light to call your own, though sometimes it pales in comparison to the overarching shadows. 

Previous Chapter -> Next Chapter

END NOTES:

I am a hundred percent sure this was the fastest chapter I’ve written and felt so much easier than Episode 4 ohMYGAHD

HOW ARE WE FEELING?? ARE YOU GUYS OKAY??? DRINK SOME WATER BREATHEEE

YAY YOU’RE IMMUNE CONGRATS AHHH *confetti canon*

Wait why r u not happy you’re immune- oh right, you don't know what's gonna happen to you now that you have that information and it doesn't add anything good— it just makes you feel bad lol that sucks (the sudden obliteration of expectation) cause you’ve been telling a narrative you’ve always known and it’s changed and you have no fricken clue what's next

DID I GO BACK AND FORTH WONDERING IF THE READER SHOULD BE IMMUNE: YEP, A LOT… IT KEPT ME UP TILL 4 AM AND I CHOSE THIS BCS tbh it makes sense (??) you’re already a hecking anomaly, might as well be immune too :> Also, I’d like to hope this decision helped the story progress further… I think

Did the science make sense?? I hope so, I researched a lot on quantum teleportation and its possibilities. In theory, yes it’s probable. If you can manage to send every information about the atoms in your body, then send it to a specific time and place, which would take a massive amount of energy and processing power to do, yes u can teleport hooray! I'm just gonna assume radiation plays a part in the energy aspect and then since fungal infections can’t withstand that amount of heat from the radiation and your body has adapted— yeah you get the rest. (You’re not glowing radiation, it's just your immune system can fight the fungi lol)

I know a lot of people are gonna be rolling their eyes and saying, “why am I immune, goSH, so cliCHE, Y/N? knOWS ASL TOO?? WHY AM I SO SPECIAL?? I want to get bitten and be useless and not connect with anY chAracters–” well pretty thing, you’re one of the main characters! Ofc you’re special, you freaking discovered how to get to the TLOU world, I can’t have you dying on me… yet… silly!

Joel is having internal conflict with literally with his feelings about Ellie and yOU <3 I hope I portrayed that properly and well enough. Lowkey needed to write the miscommunication part because that question of if you were just a replacement for Tess was brewing in the back of your mind. Joel being him can’t fully express his feelings properly, so you settle for the broken sentences he has to offer and piece together the shards to find clues of what he means. Later on, it will be easier for him but for now, you both take baby steps.

But God writing that part had so many revisions and played every single possible scenario in my head— constantly questioning if it was good enough. Like was the thing I was trying to do between the reader and Joel natural and seamless? Did this conflict get resolved at all? Did I do this too soon?? Idk I’m just trying my best and I’m a sucker for Joel giving in bit by bit T^T (i mean i didn't make them kiss yet so I'm assuming wasn’t so rUSHED)

This episode centered around Joel rethinking his relationship with Ellie and YOU hehe. But I did want to give Sam and Henry the spotlight they deserved as well. I tried my best to find the balance in all of this, I hope I didn’t disappoint anyone with this chapter :&lt;<

oKAY INTO EPISODE 6 I GO, time to rewatch the pain again T^T

Grace

TAGLIST:

@memento-mora @elijahssuit @tartiflvtte @lillylilly2 @kyuupidwrites @amethystwonder11 @syd-vixious @kidkrow666 @soulofapatrick @ponyboys-sunsets @superflymaterial @chaotic-imposter @vainbimbo @eva-stark @loki-an-idiot @littleshadow17 @undermoonlightwalk @afternoon-evening @notmysunnydale  @slurmp69 @gyllord @aerangi @mac5323 @friskynotebook @earth-to-lottie @chaotic-imposter @kodzuvk @hawkins-2000 @reallysparklychaos @trust-dreamcatcher @darkened-writer @memeorydotcom @welcomebackfelicia @rainbowpitofdoom @omg-its-typical-aesthetics-fan @marvelsimpcz @dorck26 @evienorville @munsons-queen @little-miss-bi @mxltifxnd0m @ohjoelmiller @coalix @taestrwbrry @avengersheart @gyllord @valentine-babe@missdragon-1 @ponyboys-sunsets @ipadkidsworld @otternanamilolo @issybee0611 @technicallysassyfox @cupcakemachete

#uneven odds joel miller #joel miller x reader series #joel miller x poc!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x modern reader #unevenoddstaglist #unevenodds #uneven odds #alternate universe #joel miller x reader tlou #tlou rewrite #tlou remake #tlou series #tlou #tlou hbo

[wreckmyimage]

more henry fluff he is babygirl

YOU’RE HERE THATS THE THING henry x fem reader

SUMMARY: sam and henry don’t die, they make it to jackson with you, ellie and joel.

warnings: none, just pure fluff, probs cringe idk

notes: i apologise for no fics lately, just not been feeling it. heres this to make up for it !!! happy tlou day 🎉

In Jackson, you lived in a two bedroom house, which was good considering there was only 3 people living in the house. One bedroom for Sam, and one for you and Henry to share. It had been 5 months since the whole Kathleen thing, it had been 2 months since you all had gotten to Jackson, and you felt like you fit in perfectly. Like a great small family, destined to be there in the first place

You were glad you had helped Henry steal medicine for Sam, you were glad you three had found Joel and Ellie and decided to go with them to Jackson. It was a perfect life, considering the worlds condition.

You had been awake for at least half an hour, just staring at the ceiling as your partner slept peacefully next to you, you look over to said partner as you see him sleeping, he looked so peaceful when he slept, it made you happy that he had no one to run from now, that it was all over, you finally got a break.

“What’re you staring at?” A sleepy Henry breaks you from your thoughts.

“Your eyes aren’t even open how do you know I’m staring.” You ask as your head was leaning on your hand.

“I can feel it.”

“Thats so weird.”

Henry still hasn’t opened his eyes as he tried to fight off the sleep, “C’mon, let’s go back to sleep.”

You let out a scoff, “Nice try, but it’s 9, I have patrol in one hour.” You smirk as he now opens his eyes were now open, staring into yours.

“You can always be late.” He shrugs.

You dismiss him as you walk over to your dressed, grabbing suitable clothes to wear on patrol. “Nope, not again. Tommy almost beat my ass when I showed up late last time.”

“Yeah, well if he even tried I’d beat his ass.” Henry says confidently as he was now sat up in bed, watching your every move.

“You need to wake your brother up, he has school, too.”

“Fine.” Henry gets out of bed, following you down the hall to his brothers room, you stood at the doorway as Henry wakes his brother up.

Before leaving, you kiss Henry goodbye, then Sam grabs your hand to hold as you both walk to where his lessons where at, “Be good, okay?” You sign to him as he nods, you kiss him on the head as he hugs you.

After dropping Sam off, you go off to start your patrol, happy with the way your day has started.

tags @zndayacc @txelanneteyam (lmk if u want added)

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #henry and sam #henry burrell #henry burrell fanfic #henry burell x reader #henry tlou x reader #henry tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us series #the last of us hbo #sam and henry

[slasherinc-links]

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝟏. . . 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑.

tldr.

ellie, el or nobi! • 18 years old • she/her pronouns + unlabeled • brazillian (indigenous) • adhd and will use tone tags • writer’s block happens a lot so i’m sorry if i don’t send your ask quickly!

full text.

hi, i’m ellie, but you can also call me el or nobi! i’m a brazilian woman with very strong indigenous ancestry, so i’ll always write with this in mind, but i’ll always try my best to make the fics as racially ambiguous as possible, so everyone can enjoy! on that topic, i will only write for fem!readers, but if requested it can be a gn!reader. i’m not comfortable writing for male readers since i don’t understand how they feel (i hope this makes sense, i really don’t want to sound mean! /srs).

hi, i’m ellie, but you can also call me el! i’m a brazilian woman with very strong indigenous ancestry, so i’ll always write with this in mind, but i’ll always try my best to make the fics as racially ambiguous as possible, so everyone can enjoy! on that topic, i will only write for fem!readers, but if requested it can be a gn!reader. i’m not comfortable writing for male readers since i don’t understand how they feel (i hope this makes sense, i really don’t want to sound mean! /srs).

i have adhd, so most of the time i will use tone tags since they help me, and others, with comprehending messages/texts, etc.

i’m pretending to be a teacher and graduate in history and sociology, but for now i am not enrolled in university, so i’ll be a full time writer (as much as i can be). i am known for having writer’s block, so i’m really sorry if i didn’t send your request quickly, it really sucks that it happens to me and it saddens the both of us.

before doing anything else on my blog, i suggest you read the blog’s guidelines, the rules for requesting and my explanation of me not wanting minors to interact with my content.

also, keep in mind that english is not my first language, even though i’ve been practicing it for more than five years now and i am 100% fluent, i will probably make some mistakes here and there, so please forgive me for any of those mistakes. <3

𓆩*𓆪 — LIKES!

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒.

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morpheus/dream of the endless (ts). obi-wan kenobi (sw). red hood/jason todd (dc). the punisher/frank castle (marvel). jim hopper (st). abby anderson (tlou). arthur morgan (rdr2). carlos oliveira (re). leon kennedy (re). ada wong (re). jill valentine (re). john price (cod). simon ‘ghost’ riley (cod). kyle ‘gaz’ garrick (cod).

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laura harrier, pedro pascal, john boyega, jessica alba, lupita nyong’o, steven yeun, willem dafoe, christoph waltz, daniel brühl, henry cavill, jon bernthal, keke palmer, bruna marquezine, xolo maridueña, cillian murphy

#for the main #about me

[damn-stark]

Chapter 3 I’d make a deal with god

Chapter 3 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I hope you guys like the chapter

Warning- ANGST, violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter, some fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x05-1x06 (only the beginning)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

The street was quiet. And as far as views go, it was the same way as it was in the tunnel, dark and eerie.

The stars overhead were tempting to admire, you felt grateful that you were out of the humid tunnel and breathing fresh air, but the cul-de-sac was too quiet, and you weren’t actually across the river yet. You knew better than to get your hopes up too soon; just like most of what you’ve learned from life, you learned that the hard way.

Yet it seems Henry and Sam don’t quite get that.

Then again how could they know? The farthest they’ve gone out of the city is being in that forest. They only know a small part of what the world is like.

“No,” Henry breaks the silence you had purposely left as you tried to make your way to the bridge. “No one is here. No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.”

Your dad scoffs in annoyance, “so much goddamn talkin’.”

You look back at Henry over your shoulder and add on too. “We’re not across the river yet, let’s wait to celebrate then.”

“I’m just saying,” Henry continues smugly. “I delivered.”

You smirk faintly and roll your eyes to look back ahead.

“Make this right,” he points out. “Go down the street, embankment behind the last house, and we’re out.”

“So we cross the river and then what?” Ellie asks. “Where ya gonna go?”

You glance over at your dad, and even if it hasn’t been discussed you know that there’s no option but to travel home together now.

At least you hope that’s what he’s thinkin’ too.

“We’re going to Wyoming,” you share and blink to look at your dad for reassurance. “We can go together.”

But as expected when your dad meets your gaze he remains nonchalant. He then peers back at Henry though, and seems to look…unsure. “How about we cross the river and then talk.”

You swallow thickly and look back ahead. Would this really be it?

Ellie notices his look, he reads him like you do and comments on the matter. ���Don’t worry he’ll give in. Trust me.”

Trust her?

How long have they been together?

“This is how it goes?” Ellie continues. “He’s like, No, Ellie,” she begins to mock him in a deep voice, causing you to blink in disbelief before you peer back at her. “Never, ever, ever happening.”

Regardless of what uneasiness you felt by his lack of agreeance, what jealousy just sparked, you can’t help but grin in amusement at her teasing.

“And then I’m like,” Ellie continues in her normal voice. “I’m gonna ask you a million more times. And he’s like—”

Before she can finish what she’s saying, she’s suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot whizzing past your ear, and hitting the ground inches away from you.

“Fuck!” Ellie screams, while you cover your ear and throw yourself to the ground, losing that smile.

“Move, move!” Your dad yells and proceeds to grab your arm to yank you off the ground, and push you and Ellie behind a rusted car.

“Y/N,” you hear Henry from the ear that’s not currently ringing. “Are you okay? Did it hit you?”

You groan and shake your head. “No…no,” you pant. “Just went past me.”

“Where fuck is that coming from—”

“Shut up,” your dad cuts Henry off now.

You pull your hand away from your ear as the ringing begins to fade, and look over at your dad peeking past the top of the hood. A gunshot then breaks a car window though, so he ducks his head back down.

“How many?” You ask him.

Your dad shakes his head. “One, I think. I can’t be sure, not from here.”

You swallow thickly and snatch your rifle off your shoulder. You try to suggest a risky idea that comes to mind, but then another gunshot goes off and a hand wraps around your wrist instead.

“Shit,” Henry panics and looks away from the shooter to try and move with Sam at his other hand. “Alright, fuck. Let’s move. Let’s go.”

Without hesitance you yank your arm back and grab his wrist instead to pull him back down. “I’m not leaving my dad. And you can’t just get up like that or you’ll get shot,” you scold him as kindly as you can sound. “Stay down.” You then snap your eyes to your dad and share the idea you had in mind. “I can shoot them, I just need a distraction so he doesn’t end up shooting me.”

A bullet hits the car you’re behind, and your dad lets his gaze linger on you as he thinks about the plan you shared.

You want him to say yes so he’d see that you’re capable, that you’ve changed from that little girl he saw last time, years ago.

However, he shakes his head and sighs.

“Dad—”

“I’ll go,” he cuts you off before you can argue. “You two stay here.” He directs to Ellie and yourself.

“What?” Ellie asks in confusion.

He turns to face Ellie now. “If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you,” he tells her, and then looks to you. “I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I’ll take him out.”

You shake your head and protest. “If you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.”

“It’s dark and he has shit aim. Nobody’s gonna kill me. Besides, I ain’t putting you at risk.”

“You just said—”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off sharply. “Do you trust me?”

You lower your shoulders from their tense position, you let your face soften from its hardened state and nod softly without as much as thinking about it.

Your dad proceeds to pull his gun out and looks to Ellie to speak to her. “If anything happens you stick with her, got it?”

Ellie glances at you and hesitates before returning her gaze to him and nodding in comprehension. After that your dad proceeds to scurry away through the cover of night, making the person in that house try to follow him with their gun to try and shoot him.

And now, while the person is distracted you lift your head over the car's hood to finally take a peek yourself. That’s when you catch only one light reflecting from a window before the bullet hits the ground in front of the car. You proceed to look around at the other houses to see if there were more, but your dad was right it seems to be just one in the house straight ahead.

Just one. Your dad will be fine.

You duck back behind the car and wait. Wait in anticipation. You hold onto your pendant around your neck and wait. A few more bullets go off and hit the objects around you, you wait for them to reload and shoot again, but a longer silence follows now, letting you guess that your dad might have reached the shooter now.

You slowly lift your head and peek out, and luckily this time you see no more reflection. Yet you can’t be assured that your dad has gotten to him, not until you can see him up there giving you all a sign.

However, a few seconds pass of more silence and he doesn’t give you any. Instead you hear one gunshot echo, it doesn’t hit anything nearby it just echoes, meaning one of two things; your dad shot the shooter, or the shooter shot your dad.

You can’t think of losing him just as you reunited, so you’ll go with he’s the one that shot the shooter first.

“It seems your dad got him,” Henry interjects.

You stop fiddling with the pendant and meet his gaze with hope. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think so too. Let’s just wait until he gives a sign though.”

Henry nods in agreement, and silence follows again. Albeit the silence breaks soon thereafter with a distant scream from your dad. “Run!”

You blink in confusion, and hang your rifle over your shoulder again as you slowly push yourself up to try and get a view of him.

“Run!” Your dad yells again.

Why is he saying that?

And only seconds later is when you begin to hear the distant sounds of engines running. When you snap your eyes ahead you notice headlights down the street, getting larger the closer they get, and brighter as more than one begins to appear.

“Go! Go, go!” You bellow to the group, and push Ellie in front of you so she can get ahead of you so can you run behind her, Henry and Sam.

The closer the leading car gets, the more you hear metal clashing as cars blocking the street get shoved aside. Bullets ring against metal too as your dad tries to shoot the driver of the moving truck, and as Ellie tries to shoot back aimlessly.

You want to shoot at the driver too to at least get that car off your trail, but when you hit the trigger you come out empty since you haven’t given Henry his empty pistol back.

“Fuck,” you grumble. “Fuck. Fuck.”

As Henry and Sam get ahead faster, you mindlessly begin to run past Ellie to try and reach the other end of the street. However, it’s at that moment that you begin to get ahead that you suddenly hear glass clash, brakes then screech before you hear a crash through one of the wooden houses.

You try to look back at the sight, you try to look back even when you hear multiple cars brake behind you, even if it’s one thing you didn’t like to do while running away from dangerous shit, but you remember Ellie had fallen behind, so you look. That’s when you see her on the ground, and multiple people climbing out of their cars.

It’s a fucking risk to go back especially since they all have guns, but you can’t leave her behind, not even if you feel a smidge of jealousy towards her. Maybe giving her the slight cold shoulder is something that you can live with, but leaving her behind is something that would haunt you, so you quickly turn back around on your heels and sprint towards her.

She catches you running at her as she remains stunned on the ground and her eyes brighten before she pushes herself up and then runs at you.

“Come on!” You yell at her. “Come on!”

Ellie quickens her pace as best as she can, and just as you throw your hand out to reach for hers suddenly an explosion goes off at your side, and the force throws you both to the ground.

“Fuck,” you cough out seconds later, and flutter your eyes open, catching a bright raging light now brighten the street. “Fuck.” You snap your head up and see Ellie moving slightly. That fills you with relief over the fact that she isn’t badly hurt. Or at least that’s what it seems like.

“Ellie,” you call out between pants. “Ellie, are you—”

Before you can finish your question though, hands get slapped around your arms and begin to yank off the ground.

“Come on, come on,” someone muffles.

You snap your head back in a panic, but thankfully only see Henry.

“You’re not hurt?” He asks.

You shake your head and get up to your feet. “No, no, I’m okay. Go, help Ellie.”

Henry nods and leaves your side to run to Ellie while you run to Sam behind a car.

“Are you okay?” Sam immediately signs to you worringly once you’re ducked close to him.

You nod quickly and redirect his question. “You okay?”

Sam nods, and both of your gazes lift as Henry and Ellie join you ducked behind the car.

“You okay?” You ask Ellie as she fixes herself between Sam and you.

She nods and mumbles, “yeah.”

Multiple footsteps now step closer, and commands get thrown out that make you stiffen. “He’s up there! Two and two! Around the back, take him out!”

“Fuck!” You hiss. There’s no way to take them out without getting caught or leaving yourself vulnerable. Fuck.

“Dead end, Henry!” You hear a woman shout—Kathleen most likely. “Gonna step out? Save us some time?”

Henry of course doesn’t answer, so Kathleen continues.

“No? That’s alright. Doesn’t matter.”

You rest your head against the car and try to think of some plan to get out of this position. Yet, Henry then interjects. “I’ll come out!”

You quickly snap your head over to him and shake it in protest. “No,” you whisper. “No, Henry no.”

Said man meets your gaze and lets his eyes linger on you. “Just let the girl and kids go!” He shouts.

You keep shaking your head in hopes he’d change his mind.

“No,” Kathleen retorts. “Sorry. The little girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam, and the other girl, well they’re with you.”

You shift your eyes away and scoff.

What the fuck?! What the fuck is her problem? Wanting to kill you, you understand, but the kids?

“You don’t understand!” Henry rebuttals.

But Kathleen doesn’t listen. “But I do,” she counters. “I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?”

What the hell?

You shake your head and curl your lip in anger and disgust.

“He’s just a fucking kid!” Henry yells back.

“Well, kids die, Henry,” Kathleen says without an ounce of sympathy in her tone. “They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”

“Get ready to take him and run,” Henry blurts at you quietly.

You look over at him and see him looking at you. “No,” you rebuttal. “No.”

“Y/N,” he insists. “Yes.”

You try to look angry at his stupid choice, but instead you look hurt.

“Henry,” you whisper, but he then cups your cheek and cuts you off.

“Please. Do it.”

You stare into his eyes and want to argue, you want to yell at him for wanting to risk his life like this, for wanting you to take Sam away without leaving with him, but…you don’t. You trust him and understand this one need, you give in for him, for the love you already harbor.

“Fine,” you whisper and look over at Sam, noticing Ellie take his hand for you.

“It’s time, Henry,” Kathleen interjects. “Enough!”

You look back at Henry and meet his gaze, seeing him hesitate for a few seconds. So you reach for his trembling hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He proceeds to let his eyes linger in your hurt gaze for a moment longer before he averts his gaze, and puts his head back to pant and then whisper to himself, “okay,” before he stands up and raises his hands while he slowly steps towards the aggressor.

“It ends the way it ends,” Kathleen says after a few seconds of silence, and cocks her gun before she shouts another command. “Grab the girl he’s with too, I want him to see her die.”

You gasp and freeze since you know she only means you.

“No!” Henry shouts. “Wait, no! Not her! She had nothing to do with it! It was just me!”

Footsteps begin to approach, and your heart begins to race, your hands begin to shake, but you put on a brave face and roll your eyes to the side to glare at the rugged man approaching you.

“Touch them and I’ll kill you,” you grimace.

The man tries to grab you, but you stand up by yourself and step away from him. “Don’t you dare,” you snap and raise your hands.

“Come on,” the man orders and points the gun forward.

“No,” Kathleen adds now as you get forced to stand by Henry. “She might have not had anything to do with it, but you care about her.”

You drift your eyes to Henry, and end up meeting his angry and worried gaze.

“It’s okay,” you mouth to him with an assuring look and smile. “It’s okay.” You drift your gaze back to Kathleen and shoot her an unbothered glare.

There’s only one man next to you, the others are standing a bit too far to react too fast. They wouldn’t let one of their own die would they? They cared so much about the one person your dad killed, so….

Quickly before anyone can react to you, you fist your left hand, and quickly swing your fist up to punch the man’s forearm to make his aim fall from your head.

“Wait!” you hear Kathleen yell as guns point at you now.

You then quickly spin around and ram your fist in his throat to leave him incapacitated while you snatch his gun from him, and then use your foot to swing it under him to sweep him off the floor.

When the guy hits the ground you instantly point his gun at his head, and step on the back of his hand before slowly glaring up at Kathleen.

She looks stunned, so you take this time to look over at Henry, catching his own shocked and awed look.

“Come close and I’ll shoot him,” you threaten all of them. “Your revenge can’t mean more than your man’s life now does it?” You taunt Kathleen with a sly smirk.

Kathleen moves her gun to point at you and parts her lips to say something, but she then cuts herself off as the sound of rubble and creaking metal steals everyone’s attention, including Henry’s and yours.

At first it doesn’t seem like much, just the ground beneath the truck crumbling due to the explosion. But it’s from that same hole that the truck falls into that lets out the sound of distant groaning and growling. Infected….

You remove your foot off the man under you and help up so he can run away. You then snap your head over to Henry, and he meets your gaze to share a knowing look since no one can deny the sounds.

Yet before either of you can run away dozens, no, hundreds of infected climb out from the ground and don’t waste a second to charge at everyone that is formed in front of the hole. They all try to shoot at the runners and the clickers that charge at them, but there’s too many, too many overwhelm them immediately—It’s so many of them climbing out of the ground.

You’ve seen hordes before, you’ve run from dozens of infected before, but never like this, never from one’s running out of a fire pit as if they were spawn out of hell.

The sight freezes you out of fear, leaves you vulnerable, until Henry runs at you now that the men focused their attention away from him and you, and breaks you from your stupor.

“Come on!” He yells, and you both run to the kids still ducked behind the car.

“You have my gun, I have the man’s,” you tell Henry as you duck and hide with the kids. “Take Sam and go, I’ll take Ellie and be right behind you.”

Shooters approach the car you’re hidden behind and begin shooting at infected climbing on the car. More fall at your side as bullets come from the house where your dad is in. And before long, as more infected approach, you all bolt away from behind the car to run to your dad.

However, more infected swarm the area and get in your way, so you lose sight of Henry and Sam quickly as they don’t stop running. You on the other hand use the man’s gun and shoot at the clickers and runners that charge at Ellie and you.

“Go!” You yell at Ellie. “Go, I have you covered!”

Ellie runs on ahead, and you kill any threats that are near her. Once there’s no infected ahead of you, you follow after Ellie as she runs towards a van nearby that has a window slightly opened.

A clicker closeby hears her running footsteps however and tries to charge at her, but you quickly stop in your steps to shoot it and then move the aim to shoot the other infected that can be a possible threat.

“I’ll open the door for you!” Ellie yells back as she approaches the car.

You watch her get inside through the window, and immediately more infected try to reach her through the windows; they pound and claw. You clear as many of them as you can until your bullets run out and you have no choice but to throw the gun out and use your own rifle.

Yet that has few bullets in it too, luckily your dad helps you take out as many as he can around the car and you, while Ellie crawls to the door to try and open it for you from the inside. And when you turn to grab the door handle, suddenly a stalker tackles you down to the ground.

“Oof.” You breathe out as you slam to the ground, and end up losing your gun.

The stalker tries to bite down at you, but you quickly throw your head to the side, and throw your hands up to keep it away. You want to kick it back and use your knife, but then a bullet goes through its head and it falls limb, letting you crawl back away from its corpse. You then look up at the window and give your dad a thankful nod.

He nods back, so after that, before more infected come and swarm you, you get up and find your gun first, before you face the car to get Ellie.

Neverthless, at that moment as you turn you notice a different kind of infected. It’s larger than others, tall, and plump. It has fungus coming out of its head like a clicker, but this one also has fungus growing out of its entire body. It’s…terrifying. It’s fucking horrifying, but you don’t freeze this time, you can’t. You just push its presence to the back of your head and face the car again. That’s when you see a child clicker climb in the same car Ellie is hiding in.

You know your dad has you covered from any infected around you, so you quickly throw the door open and hastily help Ellie out of the car as the clicker flips over the seats to try and reach her.

“Come on!” You urge her after you close the car door. “We’re almost there!” You grab her wrist to run towards your dad together, but she quickly stops you and points out.

“It’s Sam and Henry!”

You follow where she points to, and see the both of them under a car trying to kick away the clickers that are trying to grab them. However, there’s too many infected in your way, too many for you and Ellie to take down without getting swarmed….

Wait! That’s right...

You look up at your dad at the same time Ellie does, and you both speechlessly ask him to cover you with your looks alone.

He’s hesitant at first, but he gives you both an assuring nod, letting you both then run towards Henry and Sam.

“You help Sam, I’ll get the one on Henry!” You tell Ellie as you maneuver past bodies of the infected your dad was killing in your path.

“Okay, yeah!” She replies through pants.

You narrow your eyes on the clicker that has Henry by his feet, ignoring the car that races past behind you and quickening your pace to get closer.

Just as you approach Henry, the clicker drags him out of hiding, it wants to bite him, but you quickly lift your rifle and shoot it right in its head, killing it.

“Come on,” you tell Henry urgently as you help him to his feet. “You’re okay,” you assure him before you turn on your heels, noticing Ellie managed to get the clicker off Sam, but she can’t stab her knife deep enough to kill it. So you lift your gun and help her kill it, letting her then help Sam off the ground.

“Go, go!” You yell at everyone.

Quickly, before more infected can come towards you, you all bolt towards the house your dad is inside of. You climb up the yard hand in hand with Henry, you’re close to getting out, but then Kathleen stops you all.

“Stop!”

Henry pushes you all back behind him to block you all from her gun, but you still raise your rifle to try and use your last bullet on her.

Albeit that’s when you notice the child clicker from before sneaking up from behind her, and lower your gun instead. Kathleen blinks in confusion, and follows everyone’s line of gaze. But, she notices the clicker too late and it tackles her to the ground before she can react.

It hits her repeatedly, and overpowers her, all she can do is scream.

As bad as she was, that fate is still horrible.

“This way now!” You hear your dad yell, breaking everyone from their shock. You then look over at him in shock and watch him pushing Ellie and Sam towards the bridge just behind the houses.

“Move!” He yells and turns you around so you can keep moving behind Henry. He follows last, making sure no one or nothing follows you from the bloodbath that was now the cul-de-sac.

——

*LATER*

“Pew…pew. As the Raven 01 approaches the red planet….”

You put the paper your food was wrapped in down and drag your feet back against your chest to continue listening to Ellie reading with Sam.

Compared to all the terrified screams, all the infected growling and groaning, all the gunshots, and burning flames that had filled your ears on your way to the motel, listening to her read in the silence of night was calming and peaceful.

“You think they’ll be okay?” Henry asks out loud, breaking the silence that was between him, your dad and you.

“Yeah,” your dad nods. “I think.”

You hug your legs and look over at him as he continues.

“It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway….” He pauses and glances at you before looking at Henry. “You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.”

Being scared isn’t easy, not knowing how to help because you’re young isn't easy, but he’s also right.

“Well,” Henry interjects. “I guess we’re doing a good job then.”

Your dad nods softly in agreement, and you can’t help but smile down at your knees since they seem to be getting along more now.

“What’s that comic book say?” Your dad asks. “Endure and survive?”

You lift your gaze to look at the Savage Starlight comic book Sam and Ellie are reading, and scoff softly before you nod. “Endure and survive,” you repeat.

“That shits redundant,” Henry retorts, making you smile in amusement.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “It’s not great.”

You shake your head and laugh softly. “No.”

Savage Starlight was a comic book you often saw lying around, but you never got into them so much. You always enjoyed more of uh…romance, some horror, thrillers, comedy, and fantasy.

“Look, Henry,” you hear your dad continue, making you snap your eyes to him and sit up as you’re filled with curiosity. “I don’t know exactly how I’m gettin’ to Wyoming. I’m probably walkin’. But you know if you want to.”

Your smile grows wider, and your gaze grows softer as you understand your fathers invitation to Henry.

“Yeah,” Henry agrees. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it’d be nice for Sam to have a friend. I’ll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.”

You’re filled with joy now, and that fear of rejection washes away….

At least you hope your dad is also referring to you.

“What about me?” You interject to double check. Even if you might know the answer.

Your dads eyes snap to you and he scoffs before he retorts. “How do you think we’re getting there?”

You smirk and then glance at Henry sitting on a table beside you to share a soft smile with him.

“I don’t why you had to ask,” your dad mumbles.

You then look at the kids, and notice Sam fiddling with the pendant you had given him.

“Just makin’ sure,” you say and drag your legs down. “Maybe y’all wanted to leave me behind….” Wait…you catch that comment the moment it comes out. It’s wrong…it seems like a jab directed to your dad, but you didn’t mean it that way.

You snap your eyes over to him in hopes he didn’t take it that way, but you can’t tell, he’s looking away, his lips are formed in the same serious line. Fuck. Fuck….

Let’s just hope he didn’t take it badly.

You swallow thickly and look ahead, noticing Henry in the room with the kids, and Sam still holding the pendant. So choosing to just brush off your concern so as to not overthink about it, you get up and walk in the room, seeing Sam walk to the other bed now.

“Goodnight,” you sign to him as he notices you walk in.

He offers you a faint smile and redirects your comment. “Goodnight.”

Henry walks back in the room, and before you can follow him you check on Sam since he was holding the pendant. “Are you feeling okay?” You question him.

Sam nods in assurance, but you can notice his frown and a…sad look in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” You press.

Sam nods again. Perhaps it was just the events of tonight then.

“Okay,” you continue to sign to him. “No story tonight?”

Sam shakes his head. “Tomorrow,” he signs back.

You smile and nod in agreement. “Sounds good,” you sign. “Goodnight.”

Sam offers you a faint smile as a response, and before you can leave the room you glance over at Ellie and offer her a very faint smile that’s a bit forced. Maybe she’ll grow on you soon enough. Once your dad explains why they’re traveling together. Hopefully.

Anyway, once you close the room door behind you, rather than sitting back down, and since there was no other room in this curtain room you’re camping in. And since you don’t want your dad hearing your conversation with Henry, you meet your partner's gaze and point to the exit.

Henry doesn’t seem to understand though, so you point to the door again. But nothing.

You roll your eyes and just break the silence. “I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.” You nod slowly, and before anyone can say anything you make sure you have your knife with you before you walk over to the door, and push the table that’s blocking the exit to the side before walking out. Hopefully, Henry understands, and hopefully your dad doesn’t walk out. As funny as that would be, it’s not who you want to talk to.

Regardless, as you wait you lean against the railing and look up at the shining stars painted on the night sky. You smile up at them and watch them twinkle. The door opens, and you quickly peer back, seeing Henry walk out. Thankfully.

“Hey,” you greet him in a whisper.

He closes the door and walks to your side first before returning a greeting. “Hey.”

You look back at the sky and continue to watch the stars. “You know there’s a way to navigate around using the stars.” You share with him.

Henry hums. “I didn’t know,” he says. “Do you know how to?”

You nod and drop your gaze to look at him, noticing he was already looking at you. “Yeah, I do,” you admit.

Henry smiles and scoffs. “Of course you do.”

You laugh softly. “Well it’s kind of convient you know, very helpful..”

“Is that why you like to stare at them all the time?” He asks.

You let out a small breath and shake your head. “No. I just like to watch them, it’s fascinating really; space, all of it.”

Henry hums and averts his gaze, he grabs the rusted railing and brings a short silence.

You notice his smile faltering, so you quickly probe. “What is it?”

Henry gently hits the wood and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “Thank you,” he says. Again. “What you did back there, to that guy…” he swallows thickly and goes shy. “No one has ever done that before. You know usually when things go down like that people scatter to protect themselves…I’m guilty of that, but you…” he pauses and his eyes soften, whilst you now feel caught by surprise. “…you stuck around all three times,” Henry continues. “You shouldn't have, but you did, and you saved me and Sam. Thank you.”

Your smile widens and trembles, and your heart races inside your chest, but you grab his hand and offer him a soft look. “You were worth it,” you redirect sweetly. “All of it. And when it’s worth it there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the ones I love.”

Henry looks caught off guard for a few seconds, but he quickly manages to shoot you a smile before he cups your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. A sweet and passionate one that makes you wrap your arms around his neck. That lets you move in sync with another, and makes you press yourself against the wall next to the door.

Henry seems to be taken back by your passion, but he just smiles and goes with it, letting himself get swept up by you. The only reason you pull back is to catch your breath.

“You know I think you were right,” he says between pants. “I think your dad—”

“Please,” you cut him off and press your finger against his lips. “Don’t talk about my dad,” you whisper and giggle. “Not right now.”

Henry snorts and nods. “Right,” he mumbles, letting you drop your hand back to your side—“but we should get some sleep, I imagine we have a long day of walking tomorrow.”

You smile sweetly and lean in to whisper against his lips. “Yeah I know, but why not stay out here a while longer, hm? Maybe find a more discreet place to go take this further.”

Henry gapes and blinks rapidly. “I,” he breathes out and shakes his head.

You grin and cup his jaw. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “I’m fine just being with you here.”

Henry shakes his head again and quickly throws out his response, “No I want to, I do. Do you?”

You grin softly and press your hand against his chest, feeling his heart racing.

“Don’t worry,” you assure him as you hold his gaze. “You’ll be okay. You’re with me.” You pull back, and drop your hand to your side to grab his, and pull him down the stairs with you. “Come on!” You grin happily.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“Sarah,” you whisper and slowly walk further inside her dark room.

She hums and shifts on her bed. “Hm?”

“I'm scared,” you whisper. “There’s something in my room.”

Her bed creaks and thanks to the moonlight reflecting inside through her window by her bed, you see her sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Okay,” she mumbles and slides over to the other side of her bed. “Come on.”

You smile with relief and run over to the bed to climb on and lay beside her.

“What was in your room?” She asks as she lays her head back down on the pillow.

You pull the blankets over you and flip to your side to face her. “A…monster, I think.”

She smiles weakly and wraps her arm around you. “Maybe you just heard dad snoring.” She mumbles.

You sigh unsurely and watch her close her eyes to try and drift back to sleep.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” She asks quietly.

You perk up and grin softly. “Just one,” you agree.

“Okay, well—”

“Ahh! Ahhh!”

Suddenly the dream you were having is interrupted coldly by the sound of distressed yelling that makes you gasp, and sit right up out of instinct.

However, it’s as you sit up that the door is slammed open and Ellie is thrown to the floor by….by Sam growling, groaning, and snapping his teeth as he tries to claw at her. She tries to push him off, but she can’t fight him. Or she really doesn’t want to…

But why?

Why?

Why is he acting so violent, why is he trying to bite her? Why is making those noises?

You sit there wide eyed, frozen by horrifying fear that inside, deep inside your heart you understand why it grows so furiously. You can identify what those sounds coming out of Sam mean, you’ve heard them what feels like all your life. You know…But you don’t want to accept it. You don’t want to accept his sudden fate.

He’s so young, so innocent, so sweet and kind. It can’t…it can’t be true. It can’t be happening again…

He can’t…

“Nope, nope, nope,” you hear Henry repeat, and when you look up you see him on his feet, pointing your dads own gun at him as he slowly stands up.

“Joel!” Ellie cries out.

Sam is going to bite her…he’s going to bite her…

You try to reach for your own knife since you know you’re out of bullets. You want to help her before it takes her too…you want to help your dad and Henry, but you can’t move a muscle, your fear paralyzes you as well as your denial.

You can only keep watching…just like when…Sarah died. You can only watch.

Henry shoots at your dad, you can hear the bullet, and his yell even after you cover your ears. You can feel it carve the ground, but that still doesn’t make you move.

“Joel!” Ellie cries again as Sam doesn’t stop.

He’s going to bite her. Sam he’s…

And suddenly there’s another gunshot, but this time rather than feeling it hit the ground, you hear a thump, and then silence. Deafening silence.

Finally as Sam stays still on the floor, you slowly get up and take a step towards him. You notice the dark blood spilling out and staining the ground, you still wait…You wait for him to get up. He has to. It can’t be happening again…he couldn’t have turned. He has to wake up.

You slowly put your hands down. “Sam?” You call out quietly even though you know he wouldn't have heard you either way, it’s just a desperate attempt.

“Ellie,” you hear your dad call as the girl sits there in disbelief at what just happened. “Are you okay?” You hear him ask her.

You worry if she’s bit, you want to ask if she’s okay too, but all you can focus on is Sam, you wait if he’ll move at least his chest to show he’s breathing.

Your dad tries to move toward Ellie, but he comes to a quick stop as Henry points his gun at him. He’s just shocked, that’s it.

Thinking he won’t do anything to you, you take another step towards Sam.

However, that's when you hear an abrupt stop. “No…don’t.”

You snap your gleaming eyes towards Henry, and see him pointing his gun at you now. Your dad quickly notices his new aim, and slowly puts his arm across you to try and shield you.

Henry’s just shocked. He’s just…shocked.

“Easy, easy, easy,” your dad tries to calm Henry down whilst he puts his hands out to try and grab the gun in Henry’s hand.

“Henry,” you call out quietly.

Said man's eyes drift to you, and tears immediately fill his eyes at the sight of you. “What did I do?” He asks you.

You try to tell him that he helped Ellie, that his brother was going to hurt her, but you can’t…you can’t muster a single word since you’re still in denial yourself.

“What did I do?” Henry asks again and keeps his gun pointed at you. “What-what-what did I do?” His eyes drift to his brother still on the floor, and you follow his line of gaze, realizing now—no, accepting at that moment as he lay still, as more blood spilled out of him, that Sam was gone.

It hits you like a bullet to the flesh, so suddenly. The realization shakes your entire core, making that painful anguish that you had pushed back bust through that shield of denial.

He’s gone. Sam’s gone. He was infected and now he’s gone.

“Sam?” The sound of Henry’s broken voice snaps your watery gaze back to him.

“Henry, gimme the gun?” Your dad pleads softly.

“Henry,” you call out quietly through tears. “Henry, please.”

Said man’s eyes drift to you and your dad, but he then focuses solely on you.

“Gimme the gun,” your dad continues to say. “Gimme the gun.”

“Henry,” you interject in a brittle voice, and take a step towards him to try and take the gun. “Just give me the gun, okay? Let’s talk.”

Henry holds your gaze for a moment and blinks before looking at Sam again. And finally he begins to lower his hand.

You try to encourage him, “yeah just—” but you cut yourself off immedietly as you see him move his hand to now point the gun at himself instead. You know what he intends to do, you yell at him to stop, but a gunshot goes off, causing you to quickly cover your ears. Yet you still hear a loud thump hit the floor.

Now…you just stand there, looking at the now empty space where Henry had one stood. You stand there frozen and quiet. You stand there panting, and with dry eyes.

Your dad stands before you, he talks to you, you see his mouth moving, but you don’t register his muffles that go through your covered ears because you can’t accept this now. If you keep looking at the wall, it’s like nothing ever happened. If you keep your eyes on the wall you won’t have to accept it, if you stand here time will stop….

You hoped anyway. You wished.

“Y/N! Look at me, baby,” you hear your dad yell at you, making you snap your eyes to him before you slowly drift your eyes down to see….

Oh god.

Oh god….

You drop your hands from your ears, and gasp as it feels like the air in your lungs is knocked out of you at the sight of his lifeless body, at the feeling of realization slamming into you, piercing your very heart now and shattering it and your entire being.

Henry’s gone. He’s gone just like Sam. They’re both gone….Henry’s gone….

But maybe…

“Henry?” You call out desperately as you watch him, hoping he’ll wake up. “Henry?” You call out again and step away from your dad to walk to Henry. “Henry, please,” your voice quivers as he remains unresponsive.

“Henry,” you mewl and fall on your knees beside him, on the pool of blood that now surrounds his upper body. “Henry.” You whisper and slowly reach for him to turn him face up. That’s when you see his lifeless eyes, the blood that now stains his face, and the tear stains on his cheeks. And it hits you again, but now it’s more powerful, more painful.

“No,” you cry and shake your head. “No, please Henry,” you sob and cradle his face for a moment before you cradle his body. “No, no….” You drop your forehead on his and shakily gasp for air as you can’t stop crying. “Please…please…someone help me….Henry…don’t do this to me, please.”

A hand falls on your shoulders, making you gasp and look back.

“Y/N,” your dad whispers.

“Daddy,” you mutter, “you have to help me. Please. Please.”

“Oh baby…”

You shake your head as he cradles your face in his hands.

“Dad,” you cry out desperately. “Please!”

He shakes his head, and tears fill his eyes only because he sees the heartbreak in your eyes as you hold your partner's dead body in your arms.

“He’s gone,” your dad says.

No.

No.

No…

You pull your face away from your dads hold to look back at Henry, and lay your head on his chest.

He’s gone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Again. Someone else is gone and you can’t do anything about it. So you close your eyes and cry against him out of defeat, heartbreak, and agony.

“We can bury them,” your dad says softly. “Come on.”

Slowly he takes his body from you, and you let him, and just sit there. He takes Sam’s body soon thereafter, you can’t tell when, time just loses meaning, it all blends together.

Eventually you make it outside to where your dad and Ellie had buried Henry and Sam. You don’t know how, or when exactly you walked out, but feel the chilly breeze of the morning hit you, you feel the brightness burn your retinas for a moment until you grow accustomed to the brightness.

You see them no longer, only dirt over two unmarked graves. You feel only tears roll down your cheeks, and that agony in your heart as you realize you’ll never see them again, you won’t go to Jackson together.

You sit between their graves and just lose your gaze on the grass brushing against the wind. You sit there cold and hopeless. You sit there even as Ellie puts Sam’s board down on his grave, as you hear her speak to your dad once she’s up and behind you.

“Which ways west?” She asks.

There’s silence before there’s retreating footsteps. You were moving on, you had to, there was no one else to wait for now, there was no one else to go with now.

“Y/N,” your dad breaks the silence. “I have to tell you something…”

You keep your eyes lost on the grass, and wait for him to continue.

“Ellie…she’s immune…”

Is this some joke? Some sick fucking joke?

You gasp and peer at him over your shoulder to shoot him a disgusted glare.

“Dont,” you croak because of all of your crying. “Don’t fucking joke.”

He stands there with a serious, deadpanned look on his face. “I’m not,” he assures you. “It’s true, I saw her get bit and she didn’t turn. Do you really think I would joke about that?”

You blink in disbelief and look back at the grass ahead of you.

Joining the fireflies built a hope in you that maybe there was a chance for the world to get better. It was hard not to believe what they believed in, for a hope for humanity. A hope that could’ve saved so many lost friends…that could’ve saved Sam. So hearing this now coming out of your dads lips isn’t completely unbelievable, not to you.

“That’s why I need to take her to your uncle Tommy,” he continues. “So he can take her to the Fireflies.”

So he? He?

As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped on you, now you’re hit with a cold reminder, your anger towards your father. Those words he just spoke trigger it, the heartbreak you bear now only fuels it, blinding you with rage.

“So what?” You scoff, and stand up to spin around and face him with that burning anger in your watery eyes. “You’re going to dump another one of your burdens on uncle Tommy? Just like you did me?”

Your dad shakes his head and mutters out, “you’re just upset. Let’s go, we can talk about it later.”

You shake your head and step towards him to continue. “I have every right to be upset! I have every right to be mad at you, you left me,” you whisper and feel angry tears now roll down your cheeks. “You…you!” You cry out and hit his chest.

“Y/N,” he mutters and averts his gaze.

You swallow back the thick lump that grows in your throat and spat back. “Why? Hm? All I ever did was love you, even if you were mean—”

“I kept you alive,” he cuts you off bluntly with his eyes barely on you.

“Yes,” you scoff. “But I still needed my dad….” Your voice quivers. “And…you still left…Why? W-was it because I…was never good enough for you? I’m sorry….I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect daughter, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough then. I’m sorry I wasn’t worthy enough for you to stay with me, for you to take me with you.” You sniffle and wipe away your tears. “I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to call me throughout all those years. I waited,“ you mumble. “I did. But no.” You shake your head and wipe your tears away.

“I just hope you don’t hurt that girl the same you did me,” you continue. “I hope she’s the daughter I never was for you.” You scoff and hit your hands against your thighs.

“No, don’t say that,” he interjects. “And don’t pit your anger against her.”

You let out a shaky sigh and tilt your head down slightly as you keep your eyes on him. “I’ll take you to uncle Tommy,” you add bluntly. “But that’s it. I’m done with you after that.” You shove past him and pick up your backpack and rifle off the floor. You make it to the street but stop to add one more thing as you see Ellie a few feet away waiting for you and your dad to catch up.

“I won’t pit my anger against her. I just hope you do better.”

——

*A MONTH LATER*

It was quiet. Not outside; you can hear the birds chirping their morning song as the sun slowly rises, you can hear Ellie shuffling on the ground restlessly. It’s quiet inside your mind.

At first, those first few days after, your mind raced with different possibilities, denial, different outcomes…hopes. It was loud with anger, but now it’s quiet. Now as you hold the cold gold sun pin in your fingers your mind is just absolutely quiet, all there is is a picture of him, Henry, in your head.

There’s a coldness in your heart. Another gap missing that he and Sam left. It makes those nights you had to sleep, sleepless, restless. Like now. Your dad let you sleep, but you couldn’t keep your eyes closed, you couldn’t get that….that scene of a month ago out of your head. Everytime you close your eyes you see Henry and Sam, see them lying on the ground with blood around them. Their deaths replay in your head over and over again until you open your eyes. So it’s easier just to stay awake and study the sun pin in the silence….

Then again it’s not so quiet outside….Ellie keeps moving. You flip to your other side and the first thing that you notice is your dad passed out…

What a damn good watchman. Old man.

Pft.

You drift your eyes across from you and see Ellie has her back turned to you. She’s still for like a minute before she moves again.

Maybe she’s thinking about them too? Because she can’t be asleep with all that moving.

You haven’t talked to her since it happened—no, lies you did but it was just like a few words, “do you want some of my food?” “Do you want to help me keep watch?”. She was always eager for both, but beside that nothing else was said. And you do know what grief is, you know how it feels, she may not have known them long, but Sam and her still bonded, their deaths were still…impactful…

It’s not like your dad has talked about it anyway. It’s not like he would.

“Hey,” you whisper and stretch your foot out to tap her. “Are you awake?”

There’s a second of silence before Ellie slowly looks back and looks a bit disbelieved. “Yes,” she mutters.

You spare one glance at your dad to make sure he’s still sleeping before you continue. “Do you want to go for a walk? He passed out.”

Ellie pulls down her sweater and looks down to see for herself before she meets your gaze and answers hesitantly. “Sure.”

You smile softly and tuck the pin in your pocket before you get up, and very carefully grab your backpack and gun off the ground. Ellie grabs her gun and leaves her backpack where it is. As you head out she just does one more double take to make sure your dad is still sleeping, before she runs over to catch up to you heading to the windmill that’s across the small abandoned farmhouse you were camping at for the night.

“So,” Ellie rolls out with a slow head nod. “Can I hold your gun?”

You hold onto your backpack strap and look over at her with slight curiosity. “Do you know how to use it?” You ask her.

Ellie shakes her head. “I can be taught though.”

You hum and look back at the windmill you're walking to and give her a proposition. “How about you can keep watch through the scope. Feel the weight first.”

“It’s better than nothing,” she groans.

You scoff softly in amusement and open the wooden door to let her walk in first, before you close the door and follow her up the creaky wooden stairs against the wall, until you reach a platform that’s put against the window that overlooks what was once a secluded farm.

“Here,” you interject, and put your gun down to sit on your knees so you can take off your poncho and lay it on the dirty ground. “You can sit there.” You then proceed to take off your jacket and lay it over your spot. “And I’ll sit here.” You mumble and sit back down.

Ellie looks down and hesitates. “We’re already dirty anyway.”

You shrug. “But now you won’t be cold, and you’ll be comfy.” You click your tongue.

Ellie spares you a quick glance before she sits, she wants to reach for your gun, but she suddenly stops and goes wide eyed.

“Oh my god,” she gasps and crawls closer to you. “You have tattoos! No way!” She grins and studies the tattoos on your arm. “That’s so cool.”

You smile softly, and turn your body so she can see the crescent moon tattoo shaped from curved lines; it almost looks like it was a smoke moon. She then hovers her fingers over the small stars that are scattered around the area, and then looks down at the falling angel woman. But lastly she takes her time on one in particular, a small one on your forearm.

“What’s this?” She asks and points to it.

You look down and giggle. “What did you think it is?”

Ellie scoffs and smirks. “A dick?”

You smirk. “It’s supposed to be a middle finger. My uncle Tommy and I got drunk for my 21st birthday. He wanted to give me a tattoo so he drew a hand giving the middle finger, but he, uh,” you snort. “Failed, so now I will always have a little dick tattoo.”

Ellie snickers and sits back down with your rifle in hand.

You move your arm and twist your body to show her the back tattoo. “I also have this one.” You point out.

Ellie shifts back around, and you give her a few seconds before you turn to sit back.

“That’s so cool!” She says with a smile. “I want one.”

You glance over the golden grass and smile softly. “My friend, she does tattoos. Perhaps when you’re older she can do something on you. Just don’t get it while drunk.”

“Why stars and a moon?” Ellie probes.

You shrug softly. “I liked it, and I like the Galaxy, the moon, everything.”

Ellie turns her head, and you see a wider smile. “Really? That's nice, I do too. Or more the aspect of going to space.”

You grin and look at her. “Really? That’d be cool. Like, uh,” you snap your fingers until you remember the name. “Like Sally Ride.”

Ellie's eyes go wider. “Yes!” She exclaims. “Exactly like her! Like if I could choose a way to die, I would die up there in space, after I flew up there of course.”

“Of course,” you mumble and stare up at the sweet colored sky as the sun slowly overtakes the night sky. “I mean it would be a very cool way to die. No oxygen, but a view of earth and the vacuum of space.”

Ellie follows your line of gaze and smiles softly as she nods slowly. “Yeah,” she whispers.

Silence follows after that. Deafening, but peaceful silence.

Yet that peace soon begins to turn to gloom the more the sun rises and you remember why you’re here.

“Do you,” you interject, but pause to look down at your fingers not covered by your gloves. “Do you want to talk about what happened last month?” You can’t even mention their names. Not yet. Not without it aching.

Ellie drops her gaze to focus on the fields of grass, and lets out a deep exhale before she shakes her head. “No…not really. Not yet.”

You hum softly. “That’s alright,” you assure her. “Well I’m here, you know, 24/7. If you want to talk.”

It may not be a lot to offer, but it’s those very words that meant a lot to you when you were told them by your uncle, Maria, or your friends. Yes, you haven’t been the most welcoming, or the nicest person with her, but at first you were slightly jealous, then you were too sad, but after that argument with your dad that jealousy had faded. Call it pettiness or what not, but you’re here now, and hope that at least she knows she can talk about her feelings with you and not have to hide them or brush them off.

He’d do that.

Nevertheless, there’s a brief moment of quiet before Ellie mutters in a serious tone. “Here in this windmill? Because that’s sort of inconvenient.”

You snort and break into a chuckle for the first time in a month. “You know what I meant fucker,” you mutter between laughs.

Ellie smiles proudly and nods.

Silence comes back as you keep watch, your smiles fade, but she soon interrupts. “You know I did have this problem last night actually.”

Your brows slowly furrow and you look at her with concern.

“I just stayed up all night wondering where the sun went…then it dawned on me.”

Your face slowly falls, and she looks over at you with a very proud smile. You let a second pass before you burst out laughing at her joke. She soon joins in and you’re both too lost laughing until your stomachs hurt.

When you’ve somewhat calmed down you add one you remember. “Okay, okay.” You clear your throat. “I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra…it was a booby trap.” You smirk.

Ellie shakes her head and laughs harder. “That was stupid.”

You nod and once again begin to laugh along with her, not realizing in that moment as you were both distracted that your dad was now inside the windmill lost listening in to the both of you.

When your laughs die down you take advantage of this moment and pull your backpack to your lap to unzip it, and pull out an additional Walkman. “I feel like you’ll enjoy this,” you tell her and then search your backpack for a specific cassette.

Ellie slowly puts down the rifle and watches you pull out a small plastic box.

“The Smiths,” you mention and open the box to insert the cassette. “Very good band.” You smile and hand her the Walkman. “Listen to it when you can, or when you can’t sleep. Just don’t lose the cassette ‘kay? It’s my friends.”

Ellie hesitantly takes the Walkman and headphones. “Are you sure?” She asks quietly.

You nod. “I have my own. I had that as a spare, but you can keep it. When you’re done with that album, let me know, I can give you more music to listen to while we find more.”

Ellie slowly smiles softly, and meets your gaze. “Thanks.” She whispers.

You offer her a smile, and don’t realize that for that moment sharing your music as Sarah once did with you, laughing with Ellie felt the best you’ve felt in a long time; you didn’t feel sad, or angry. You felt good, at peace, and a sense of familiarity you haven’t felt in years.

——

*2 MONTHS LATER*

Winter has fully embraced the earth, providing some sense of what month it can be. Between Kansas City and here you’ve lost track of the days. You know with every feeling in you that Jackson is only a couple days out.

Seeing Maria, your uncle Tommy, your friends, and your house is only a couple days out. Finally!

“You don’t seriously believe them,” Ellie remarks as she stomps out of the cabin of this old couple living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere.

Which honestly isn’t half bad. You only wish to grow old like them and live with….with someone…

“They’ve lived here a long time,” your dad rebuttals as he leads the way off the property. He then stops and looks back as he hears only one pair of footsteps following him.

You then proceed to stop too and glance back, catching Ellie robbing one of the rabbits that the man that had found you killed.

“Put that back,” he tells her and then continues to lead the way.

“What about you, y/n, I mean you’ve lived around here,” Ellie pulls you into the conversation.

You scoff softly and wait for her to catch up. “Well all I’ll say is that it’s a bunch of superstition, okay?” You tell her without giving away too much of what awaits beyond the River. “There’s no River of death, nothin’.”

“So they don’t know anything?” She points out and falls beside you, letting you finally continue to follow your dad. “Because they’ve also never heard of the Fireflies.”

“It’s hard to hear much living so secluded,” you explain and look ahead, catching in that moment your dad stops and leans against a wooden pole.

Is he really that scared of some fear the old couple have? Because it’s only to scare people away, it isn’t true.

Is he still tired? He’s panting.

“Joel? Joel?” Ellie calls out, and shares a slightly concerned and confused look with you before she walks over to him, while you watch him with higher concern that freezes you a bit.

“Joel, are you okay?” She asks and gets closer to him as he stays leaning against the pole. “Joel?”

“Shut up,” he quips at her.

You blink and snap out of your stupor to make your way to him too. “Dad,” you call out.

“Holy shit, are you dying?” Ellie remarks, making that fear you didn’t feel before spark now at the sound of her words, even if he shakes his head.

Is it his heart? He is old now.

What if it is his heart?

“Dad?” You call out and walk past Ellie to look at his face, noticing his eyes are closed and his hand is in a tight fist. It’s like he’s in pain…

“I’m okay,” he mutters breathlessly.

You know you haven’t talked much in the past three months, your anger is still pretty alive and heightened to the point you can’t hold his gaze sometimes for more than a few seconds. But he still is your dad, and you still do very much love him…more than anything. It’s just hard being with him right now. It’s hard.

“Okay, okay,” he keeps repeating, and you grow more concerned.

“Okay, are you okay? It doesn’t sound like you are,” Ellie keeps panicking.

“I’m fine.”

“But are you because just a reminder that if you’re dead, I’m fucked—”

“Ellie,” you warn, and step closer to him. You feel like freezing, like covering your ears at the sight of his trouble, but you muster the strength to carefully grab his arm, and call to him again. “Daddy.”

As if snapped back to reality by your touch, and your voice so close, he snaps his eyes to you and calms his breathing immediately.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

He swallows thickly and holds your gaze for a moment before he snaps back. “I said I’m fine.”

Huh. You pull your hand away and nod. “Okay.”

“It’s just the cold air all of a sudden,” he explains what can be true, but what sounds like bullshit.

“All right,” Ellie says and continues to walk ahead. “Uh, so let’s go and find Tommy and the Fireflies.”

You linger your gaze on your dad for a few more seconds as you try to find some sort of symptom. But he did brush Ellie and you off harshly so, instead you leave him be and follow after Ellie.

“It’s gonna be easy,” Ellie adds and almost trips going up the snowy hill. “All we have to do is cross the River of Death.”

You roll your eyes at the fact that she’s believing it so easily, but still don’t try to correct anyone. Instead you comment on something to lighten the mood.

“We might have to wait to find the Fireflies.”

Ellie looks back with slight concern and presses. “Why?”

You look down at the snow you’re walking over and smirk. “Well it’s not summer yet.” You look up at her and shoot her a smile.

Ellie rolls her eyes and looks back. “That was stupid,” she remarks as she hides her amused smile.

“You liked it,” you mutter and pull on your backpack straps to tighten them. “You know it.”

“Maybe I can laugh at all your jokes if you teach me what you did back there, to that guy in Kansas City a few months ago,” she says.

She saw that?

You let out a soft sigh, and brush away what threatens to resurface about Sam and Henry to solely focus on what she wants. “Well, one, you don’t gotta pretend to like my jokes to get something out of me. You could've just asked.”

Ellie shrugs. “I ask Joel to teach me stuff and he says no,” she argues. “I thought you’d be the same.”

You scoff. “Well no, I ain't. And two, always read the room, Kathleen prided herself on loyalty, she wasn’t going to risk letting me kill the guy. I knew that so I acted,” you share your technique.

“Uh, huh,” Ellie notes everything down mentally.

“Two, body stance, look at how they’re standing, how tight their finger is on the trigger, if it’s too tight you’ll get shot at that moment,” you continue. “Three, act fast, hit the weak points to paralyze them. Men, the groin is a good one, for both men and women, throat, eyes, knees, temple, nose, jaw and shins. And then get them to the ground, or your stance of choice to threaten them. But always make sure they can’t and aren’t reaching for any weapons, okay? You’ll lose the higher ground if they do.”

Ellie looks over her shoulder, showing off her little smirk. “Okay, got that, but now what about a physical demonstration?” She asks.

You nod. “Sure, once we find somewhere to camp.”

Ellie shoots you a partial grin and nods in comprehension. “Cool.” She looks back ahead. “Your joke was stupid by the way.”

You snicker and run up to catch up to her. “Yeah. How about yours, Will Livingston, huh?”

She snickers and shrugs, bringing silence that follows the three of you for a while. You just walk, walk and walk for miles, down hills, up them, past dryer terrain and even snowier ground. Past a horizon of the setting sun, and under clear skies. All up until you reach a valley that overlooks the river the couple had mentioned on the map your dad insists on carrying even if they have you guiding the way

“The River of Death,” Ellie comments. “Scary.”

“Don’t start,“ your dad warns her bluntly.

You on the other hand watch the distant running river and sigh with relief. You’re almost home.

“It’s too close to dark,” your dad mentions. “There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.”

“Good,” Ellie says. “I'm starving. Should’ve stolen two rabbits.”

“We can get our own rabbits,” your dad counters.

You scoff at his comment, and see him give you a side eye.

“You gonna teach me how?” Ellie asks with hope.

Only to be shot down by your dad. “Just keep movin’.”

“Y/N?” Ellie now drifts her question to you.

You look over at her and think for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure let's just get more bullets first, or maybe a bow and arrow.”

Ellie snaps her eyes to your dad and shoots him a smirk. “See,” she quips. “Someone’s nice.” And then she proceeds to continue walking.

You scoff and roll your eyes before you also proceed to continue walking even more. Luckily this time you don’t end up walking far, your dad finds a cave somewhat deep in the woods to set up your last camp.

As always you’re all quick to eat as that’s what you’re looking forward to the most throughout the long days of walking, and avoiding danger. As always it’s quiet between you and him. He doesn’t attempt to talk to you, nor do you attempt to talk to him. Something stands in the way now, a tension…a fear that runs in the both of you.

The one thing that fills the awkward and tension filled silence is Ellie.

“Oh my god!” She exclaims and jumps off her seat to run off towards the giant rock in front of the cave.

“Ellie,” your dad mutters.

You look up from your food and see the sky beginning to glow as it fills with beautiful dancing colors of bright green, and hints of purple light. Northern lights.

You smile softly and shove the last bit of food in your mouth before you follow Ellie towards the rock to get a better view of them from the top.

“Beautiful huh? You know why they happen?” You ask Ellie as you sit beside her on the rock.

Ellie keeps her head up to continue admiring the dancing hues, and shakes her head. “Do you?” She redirects.

You hum and nod. “I read it in a book once, it happens when charged particles collide with gasses in Earth's upper atmosphere. Those collisions then produce tiny flashes that fill the sky with colorful light.”

Ellie looks down and meets your gaze. “Hm, interesting.” She says sincerely with a soft smile as she looks up again.

“There’s a lot of lore behind them, different beliefs,” you add quietly. “Some people think of them as bad omen, others as positive….what really stuck with me is this one belief I got told once by an old lady in Jackson…” you pause and slowly look down at your hands as that sadness, that grief, that agony, presents itself in you again after having pushed it away all day.

“She said that the lights are the souls of the departed…ancestors, those….” You swallow thickly and feel your eyes and throat begin to sting. “You lost.” You reach in your pocket and pull out the sun pin you kept inside, you fiddle with it and watch it reflect the lights that dance above.

“I like that one,” Ellie whispers.

You nod as your eyes fill with tears. “Me too.” You let out a deep sigh and flicker your eyes up to watch the sky again, to admire its beauty.

Ellie and you stay up there, basking in the lights and the silence until your dad whistles and cuts in. “Come down from there. Y’all gonna break your necks.”

Impossible….maybe a sore neck…

Regardless you both climb down and huddle back near the fire.

“Ah,” Ellie interjects. “Can I have some?”

You put the pin away and glance over at your dad, noticing the flask of alcohol in his hand.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“What?” Ellie argues. “Just to warm up. C’mon.”

Your dad rolls his eyes slightly but gives in, making you pass the flask to Ellie.

“Thanks,” she mutters, and looks at the metal flask for a second before raising it up as a speechless cheers.

You think she’d hesitate to take a sip, but she takes the drink without a fight.

Honestly, it’s very funny. Especially when she pulls it down and scrunches her face in disgust.

“Yep,” she groans. “Still gross.” She nudges it to you now. “Sip?”

You look at it and shake your head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” You grab the flask and hand it back to your dad.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Ellie continues to fill the silence.

“Hm?” You probe curiously, and press your hands down on the cold ground to lean back.

“Let’s say we find the Fireflies,” she says, “it all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.”

“Okay?” You hear your dad say.

“Then what? Like, what do we do?”

“Oh, it’s we?” Your dad retorts, kind of rudely may you add.

“Okay,” Ellie corrects herself. “Fine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?”

That’s an interesting question.

You glance over at your dad and wait.

“It’s never been an option,” he answers and looks up to the sky as he clears his throat. “Maybe,” he sighs. “An old farmhouse, some land, a ranch.”

He’s said that once, when you were young, he said he was working to get one, that you could all have all the free space you wanted, you could have horses, sheep, dogs, cats and goats. He’d said that once he’s old Sarah and you could live with him to take care of him and the animals. He always liked to talk about it.

Of course that was pre outbreak. You never heard that dream after. It’s nice that it hasn’t changed.

“Cool,” Ellie comments, but you can’t tell if she’s teasing him or actually interested. “What kind?”

“Sheep. I would raise sheep.”

You glance down at the fire and smile softly.

“Sheep,” Ellie whispers.

“They’re quiet,” your dad adds, making you snort softly. “Do what they’re told.”

You stifle your laugh and glance over at Ellie since you know it’s a jab at her.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ellie gets it. “Okay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.”

You smile and spare your dad one teasing glance. He feels your gaze, he sees your smile finally directed at him after three months, and sighs softly.

“What about you, y/n?” Ellie asks.

You glance at her and then watch the dancing lights in the sky. “Well when I was young I wanted to be a performer like Britney Spears.” You grin proudly.

“Who?” Ellie queries, but you don’t have time to answer since you continue.

“But now I want to become a movie star,” you smirk and look down at her. “An actress who stars in big movies. Like Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, and my favorite, and my idol, Audrey Hepburn.” You beam at her and nod slowly.

Ellie squints and shakes her head. “I’ve heard of none of them.”

“You will soon enough, and you’ll know my name as well. Y/N Miller,” you throw your hands up in the air and glance at your dad with that grin, noticing him listening with intent and the corner of his lips slightly raised. “Famous movie star. Survivalist. And the most talented and prettiest.”

Ellie snorts and nods along again. “I actually think that’s pretty cool. I mean you’ll probably be the only one, but it’s nice.”

“Thank you,” you beam at her and put your hands down. “I won’t forget to mention you in my speech when I win my Oscar.” You wink and then press her now. “What about you? Where are you gonna go?”

Ellie gently punches her legs and looks up. “It’s probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s ocean, and ahead of you, there’s a wall.” She looks down between you and your dad. “Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?”

Yes.

“Sally Ride,” your dad guesses correctly.

“Sally fuckin’ Ride!” She whispers excitedly. “Best astronaut name ever.”

You smile softly and in admiration. Silence follows, and her own smile fades, her gaze gets lost ahead of her, and you sense sorrow.

“It’ll work, right?” She then asks, making your smile fall. “The vaccine?”

You sigh and sit up to drag your legs against your chest, and hug them tightly.

“It’s a little late to start wonderin’” your dad retorts.

“I tried,” she says. “With Sam.”

Your frown immediately deepens, and your heart begins to sink.

“Tried what?” Your dad probes.

“I knew he was infected,” Ellie answers, and you see her glance at you. “I rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know. I know it was stupid. But I…I wanted to save him.”

Your eyes water again, that anguish crawls back up, and memories haunt you.

“Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that,” your dad tells her. “Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but she’s no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.”

They hope….you hope too.

For him. For Sam.

After that silence returns, which is abruptly interrupted. “Who wants to take first watch and second watch?” Ellie asks to change the subject.

You part your lips to volunteer, but your dad quickly interrupts before you can.

“I’ll do both. you girls should get some sleep.”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to argue, but once again he beats you to it.

“Y/N, it’s okay, I can do it. Tomorrow we’ll be with Tommy, and I can sleep then.”

You hesitate for a moment but you know you’ll get nowhere, so you give in.

“Dream of sheep ranches on the moon,” he adds as you and Ellie grab your sleeping bags.

“I will,” Ellie agrees. And you just scoff softly and leave it at that.

——

Sleep comes, but you don’t last long, eventually the nightmares take over; the same ones from the past three months, and all you can do is stay up to avoid seeing all of it. It would make a boring and long night, but you find yourself entertained by watching your dad.

He sits against the cave wall, he watches the sky, he watches the dark shadows in the forest, and occasionally he glances over to watch you and Ellie sleep. He seems to be looking for something, a sign of life. Once he finds it he’d look away and go back to keeping watch. That’s when your head spins and you begin to wonder why he left you?

What was his reason? Grief?

Because you feel it, you understand it. Perhaps not before, not the moment you lost Sarah, but after losing Henry?

That need to just go away, to cave into yourself, to hide and never come out? To…not keep going, to just end it as it seems like life has little meaning? You understand that. You want to do it everyday. Is that why?

Or was it fear? Just cause?

Did you do something wrong?

Or were you not enough? Were you not…her?

If you could, you'd bring her back to him. If somehow there was a chance, you would. You’d bring back Sam and Henry. Even if it meant you’d be gone forever, you’d do it.

If seeing Sarah again would make him happy you’d do it. Anger and resentment aside, you’d do it….

Nevertheless…as you’re caught up in your own thoughts, he ends up passing out.

What an old man.

To keep him that way so he can get the rest he needs you get up and keep watch for him. Ellie soon joins you and you let sleep as you both keep watch while the sun rises again, and the day turns bright.

During your watch you taught Ellie the move she wanted to learn; which she learns fast and gets very happy about. You talked about stupid stuff, and then watched some more until he woke up abruptly.

“Still mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie comments as he looks up panicked. “We woke up early. You were passed out, so we took second watch.”

“Y/N,” your dad scolds you.

You just shrug and brush him off.

“You gotta wake me up if that happens,” he rebuttals and gets up. “You can’t do things like this, Ellie.”

“But I can,” she counters sassily. “‘Cause I just did. Besides, y/n was with me the entire time.”

“She’s older, she knows stuff,” he quickly snaps back. “She’s not responsible for you, I am, okay?”

“Then don’t fall asleep,” she sasses him. “We were quiet, We checked our six, we looked for tracks, we found the high ground, and we kept watch,” she assures him as he gets near. “like you and she taught me too. And y/n let me hold the gun the entire time.” She quips and shares a proud glance with you. “What can I say, man? I'm a natural.”

“Uh-huh,” he nods. “Give her the gun.”

Ellie sighs and turns to hand you back your gun. You then proceed to hang it around your shoulder, and listen to him direct her a comment.

“You wake me up next time.”

“Yes, sir,” Ellie agrees. “But only if y/n is not here.” She shoots him a smile.

Your dad rolls his eyes and groans. “Fine,” he says in defeat. “C’mon pack up, let’s get goin’.”

As usual the day consists of endless fucking walking which was getting more annoying the closer you were to home. It’s like a fucking dread. And today it seemed colder out—but that’s probably due to the falling snow and the winder winds.

Once you assure Ellie and your dad that River is safe to cross, you make it to the other side and put your mask up over half of your face, you put your hood over your head to block out the cold and keep as warm as you can.

The closer you got home, the more the grounds seemed familiar, the more your excitement rose. That becomes especially so as you get close to the dam.

“We’re almost there,” you squeal. “We’re almost home.” You quicken your pace, but look back as you the sound of Ellie blowing out air catches your attention. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m learning how to whistle,” she explains as she catches both you and your dad looking back at her now.

“You don’t know how to whistle?” Your dad queries.

Ellie pulls her hand out of her mouth to rebuttal. “Does it sound like I know how to whistle?”

“No,” you retort and look back ahead. “Just put your lips together and blow.

“I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work!”

You smirk and do it yourself before you look back at her to do it again.

Ellie shoots you a pointed glare and drops her hand to her side. “Well now you're just showing off,” she spats. “No one likes a show off.”

You smirk and counter. “Everyone likes me, so I guess it’s wrong.”

Ellie scoffs. “Have you ever heard of the word humble? Won’t hurt to know its definition.”

You grin and look ahead. “I do know it actually.” You whistle one more to piss her off.

This time she doesn’t retort back, instead you suddenly feel a snowball hit your back.

“Hey!” You exclaim and look back.

Ellie shoots you a smirk. “Show off,” she quips without shame.

You let out a small huff and stop walking to bend down and make a snowball. Ellie knows what you’re going to do and begins to walk back with a grin.

“Don’t,” she laughs and puts her hand out.

“Whistle,” you say. “And I won’t throw it. Oh wait,” you snicker. “You can’t.”

Ellie quickly bends down and collects a snowball, causing you guys to stay at a standstill to wait who’d throw it first.

“Throw it and I’ll push you in,” she threatens.

You begin to walk back and taunt her again with a whistle.

“Fucker!” Ellie runs and throws it, but you manage to turn out of the way, and it ends up hitting the back of your dads legs.

Ellie’s eyes go wide, and you and her stifle your laughs as he stops and looks back.

“It was me,” she admits with a smirk, and you let your snowball fall, and snicker.

Your dad looks between the two of you, he lets his gaze linger without saying anything. And when he does break his gaze away it’s to glance down at his wrist for a second before he lifts his eyes and lets out a deep annoyed sigh. “Enough foolin’ around, let’s go.” He grumbles and turns to continue on ahead, causing you guys to follow after him now.

“You guys should teach me how to hunt. Like, seriously,” Ellie says.

“Huh,” your dad breathes out.

“Huh,” Ellie mocks. “Like she’s a girl. she can’t handle it.”

“You can handle the shootin’” you assure her.

“Not so sure about the dressin’?” Your dad adds on to your comment.

“What’s the dressin’?” Ellie asks.

You look over at her and explain it to her. “It’s when you take the guts out.”

Ellie nods as she falls behind. “Oh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? It’s like, you should call it undressing ‘cause it is. It’s like undressing from the inside.”

You hum in agreement and think about it now too.

“Still interested, though.” Ellie adds.

“I told you,” you tell her and grin as you see glimpses of the dam coming up. “Let’s just get more bullets, and we can do it.” You then run up ahead and stop at the top of the hill that overlooks the running water that goes through the dam.

Ellie and your dad catch up, and Ellie of course adds something to specialize the moment. “Dam.”

You and your dad share a judgmental gaze before he retorts for you. “You’re no Will Livingston.”

“Yeah, yeah, but who is?” She rebuttals. “So that made electricity?”

“Yeah,” your dad answers her. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.”

You smile wider and linger in your spot for a moment before you continue walking.

“You know, you could’ve just made something up,” Ellie interjects as they both follow you now whilst you try hard not to just run home out of pure joy. “I would’ve believed you.”

“You know,” you add on as you walk down, past the dam. “The dam still provides electricity. I’ve been told how, but I forgot, but there is light in Jackson, trust me.”

“Huh,” Ellie huffs out. “Well we're almost there aren’t we? We’ll see.”

“Yeah.” You mutter. “We will.”

Once you make it down you each step makes your heart beat pick up, each other footstep makes you wary since you know that the rangers out on pontrol should probably be approaching. It’s rare that they’d miss spotting the three of you.

“Look at that River,” Ellie points out. “It’s crazy blue. Hey, Joel, what if this is the River of Death?”

You hear him stop, so you stop even with your anticipation to get home, and wait for them. You watch him pull out his map to check what you’ve already pointed out.

“We’re close,” you break the silence. “Let’s go.”

As you take a few steps ahead, you come to a quick halt as the sound of horses neighing, their running footsteps steal your attention.

Your dad takes Ellie’s hand and tries to run away, while you stay in place and watch multiple people surround you, stopping Ellie and your dad right by you.

“Get behind me,” you hear your dad tell Ellie, before he grabs your hand and tries to pull you behind him too.

However, you slip your hand away and step forward again. You’re not scared, you recognize this tactic, you know the protocol, you know it’s them.

“We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble,” your dad interjects to try to ease the tension. “We’re just passin’ through.”

You glance around at all of them, all the faces of the people that surround the three of you. Since they all have hats, and masks over their faces it’s hard to identify who’s who. You doubt much has changed as far as routines go, maybe some people have been added here and there, but it should be the same otherwise. They might recognize you and ease the tension.

Albeit just as you lower your hand to take off your mask all guns point at you

“Keep your hands up!” The man at front yells.

“Yes,” you mutter and search the crowd again for Maria, she usually likes to patrol at the gate.

Behind you a dog begins to whine; maybe it’s the alert dog…fuck that’s right. Fuck.

“Drop the guns!” The man yells again.

You snap your gaze to your dad and give him an assuring nod before you both pull your guns off your shoulders, and place them on the ground. When you’re lifting your arms again is when you reach for your mask and pull it off, you then lift your hand further and pull off your hood, finally revealing your face to those ahead of you.

Again you search the crowd and behind the man you spot her, Maria. Her eyes land on you too and you see her ease her shoulders.

The man ahead lowers his gun slightly and squints his gaze slightly. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “The child protege returns.” He scoffs and glances back, you follow his line of gaze and see Maria getting off her horse, she lowers her mask and her eyes soften—“welcome home, Sunny.”

You smile with relief, and offer him a nod.

“You’re gonna have to stay there girl,” he adds. “You know the rules.”

You nod and look at Ellie and your dad. “It’s okay,” you mutter and keep your hands at your side.

“You been near infected?” He asks.

You shake your head and try to answer, but your dad beats you to it.

“There’s no infected out here.”

“The hell there ain’t,” the guy spats back and whistles, making a dog from ahead of you bark as he’s brought over.

Then who’s whining behind you?

“Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up.”

You swallow thickly and glance over at Ellie.

Usually the dog only detects active cordyceps, hers is…dormant considering it hasn’t spread? Or is it active?

Fuck.

The dog is let go from its leash and he first begins to walk to your dad. He first smells him to make sure, and once he smells nothing he jumps up and gives the all clear. After that the dog walks over to you, he smells your feet and your legs, before jumps on you and gives you the all clear.

“Good boy,” you coo at him and scratch him behind the ears.

The dog happily wags his tail before getting on all fours to walk back to his handler.

“Like I said, we’ll just move on,” your dad interjects. But it’s not that easy, they still need to make sure Ellie is clear. You can’t move otherwise, not even to greet Maria that is itching to meet up with you as much as you are to meet up with her.

“Now her,” they point to Ellie.

Your heart begins to race, and your mind begins to race faster. The dog begins to growl as he creeps towards her, so you look at your dad to see what he’d do, but you see that he’s frozen…he’s…frozen.

He must truly care about her….

Fuck.

You step back and face Ellie, and she looks over at you at that moment too to express her concern since your dad wouldn’t turn to face her.

“It's okay,” you mouth to her as the dog gets closer. “It’s okay.” You discreetly reach your fingers for your holstered gun. If the dog does detect the cordyceps then you’ll have to…wound it so he doesn’t hurt her, they’ll all probably hate you for it, but you can’t let her die.

The dog gets closer, he smells her for a few seconds before he looks up at her. You hold your breath and clench your jaw.

Ellie glances at you again, and you step forward, but the dog then barks and jumps on her, giving the all clear, and letting you relax and exhale deeply.

“Hi,” Ellie giggles and crouches down to pet the dog and let him lick her. “Hi!”

Now that he isn’t going to kill her, you look at the guy for the okay.

He catches you and points to Maria with his eyes. You immediately beam as your eyes begin to sting, and don’t wait a moment longer to break into a run towards her, meeting her halfway.

“Oh god,” she whispers as she throws her arms around you. “You’re here. You’ve been gone too long.”

You nod and ball up the material of her jacket in your fists as you nuzzle your head against her shoulder.

“I’m home,” your voice quivers, forgetting those you came with as you’re basked by the joy, and warmth of being in her arms again. It’s why you miss the curious stare of your dad, the confusion that grows within him, whilst Ellie begins to feel a spark of something deep within her, something she hasn’t felt about you before, jealousy…not for what you might have with Maria, but over how she holds you and what it can mean.

Sure at first she was slightly jealous of you, of how your father showed you affection, but that soon disappeared, quickly actually; the moment she saw you take down that man. And now after 3 months, after witnessing what happened 3 months ago together. After 2 months of you teaching her things she didn't know, things she wanted to know, now after having someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Now after finally having another woman to bond with her instead of just your dad. After having no one but you and your dad, she’s grown quite attached to you too.

She knew you were heading home to your family, but something in her hoped you wouldn't be so overjoyed, she didn’t want you to stay with them. She wanted just you, your dad, and her. Even if she noticed how you and your dad barely even talked at the moment.

“You’re never leaving,” Maria says and rests her chin on your head. “You understand that?”

You laugh and nod. “Not plannin’ to.”

Maria tightens her hold around you for one more lingering second before she pulls back to grab your shoulders and look at you in the face, to see the happy tears that roll down your cheeks.

“Tommy is going to freak out,” she says with a happy smile. “I was so worried,” she sighs and caresses your cheeks as she looks deep into your eyes.

You try to hide it well, the sadness brought by your still very much active grief, but can she tell in this small interaction?

“I’m home now,” you assure her. “I’m okay.”

“Are you?” She asks.

You nod and offer her a brighter smile. “I…am.”

She hums, and caresses your chin once more before letting you go, and letting you turn to introduce who you’re here with now that you remember that you’re still surrounded. But before you can, a big red bloodhound comes running at you and tackles you to the ground with all its force to start licking you, and whining out of joy.

“Hey!” You hear Ellie exclaim with concern.

“Ahh,” you groan and keep tilting your head away so you wouldn’t be licked in your mouth. “That’s a good boy, Achilles,” you tell him. “I missed you too man, but you’re heavy.”

“Maybe he’ll help you get cleaned up,” you hear someone say as they approach you. “Achilles, get off her man.”

The dog does as he’s told, letting someone else come to view as they stand above you now, blocking the natural bright light that almost blinds you, but shines around his head like he’s some majestic being.

“Fuck,” he gasps and throws his hand out to offer it to you.

As if it can be possible you grin brighter at the sight of his familiar soft brown eyes that gleam with happiness, and his beaming smile that spreads on his square jaw. You take his hand and let him help you off the ground, you stay there in front of each of other for a lingering moment just staring at one another with longing that comes rushing back at you—you also notice he doesn’t seem to aged much, he looks pretty much the same, except for his hair, it’s longer, fluffier, and no longer shaven.

It looks good that way. It’s nice to see him again. seeing your best friend since you joined the fireflies years ago brings even more ease to your wounded heart. It makes you excited, so much so that you squeal before you throw your arms around his neck.

“Jesus,” he mutters as he holds onto you. “I knew you’d make it.” He nuzzles his head against your shoulder, and you close your eyes to nuzzle your face against him.

“I’m finally home,” you whisper as if you can’t believe it.

He hums and begins to rub your back, he lets you bask in his embrace until you’re the one that wants to let go.

“You grew out your hair,” you point out with a smile and brush back the ends of his hair. “I like it.”

You begin to turn to face your dad and Ellie, but he turns with you to keep holding your gaze with a soft look that matches yours.

“Yeah,” he scoffs and grows cocky. “I knew you were coming, so I was like, I’m going to grow it for her since I know she likes it that way.”

You roll your eyes, but keep your smile as you walk past him to face your dad and Ellie now.

“They’re okay,” you assure the group. “They’re with me. That man is,” you exhale and share a glance with Maria. “My dad, Joel, the girl is Ellie.”

Slowly they both put their hands down, but the guns remain pointed.

“You vouch for them?” The guy asks you.

You glance at him and meet his gaze to nod. “Yep.”

The guy nods in comprehension and lowers his gun, letting the others do the same.

“Let’s get them on some horses and get them inside,” the guy instructs.

You glance at Ellie and your dad once before you turn on your heels to follow Maria.

“That’s your dad?” Apollo asks quietly beside you as he makes his horse, and his dog Achilles follows him as you all head home. “Are you gonna present me or what?”

“Shut up, Apollo,” you snap back and nudge him.

Apollo laughs and looks back. “I kinda see it between him and Tommy.”

You giggle. “Well they are brothers. You and Atlas look alike for that same reason.”

“You and your sister didn't look alike,” Apollo quickly rebuttals.

You huff out. “‘Cause we were half sisters, duh, do you want it explained to you how that works? Mama,” you look at Maria up on her horse now. “You want to explain to Apollo how that works.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Apollo retorts and nudges you.

You giggle, and notice Maria smirk.

Not so long after that Ellie, your dad, and you are whisked to some horses, finally being able to rest your feet and not have to walk the rest of the way to Jackson. You come to recognize most of the rangers who had given you that cold welcome, and greet all those you knew and that knew you.

You weren’t inside the walls yet, you haven’t seen your uncle yet, but you did feel more safe now, more comforted now that you aren’t out in the open. Now that you’re only minutes from home.

“I can’t wait to share the hell I’ve been through these past two years,” you interject on your way home. “You guys won’t fucking believe it.”

Apollo glances over at you and narrows his gaze to quip. “Maybe.” He licks his lips and looks serious. “You should tell it in the form of a play, hm?”

He’s making fun of you, funny.

“Yeah,” you go along with him. “The adventures of y/n Miller, one woman show, the musical.” You smirk and bounce your eyebrows.

“Who would play you?” He counters. “‘Cause,” he says and sucks in air through his teeth. “I hate to break it to you, but singing isn’t for you, you can play the guitar, but it’s singing that just….” He shakes his head.

You drop your jaw, peel your eyes wide as if suddenly hit with excitement, and snap your fingers to share your thought. “I have the best idea. Maybe…your mom can do it?”

Apollo goes serious, and you stifle your laugh as you grin at him.

“Can I get a bump?” You tease him and stick your fist out at your other side to offer Ellie a fistbump since she’s riding beside you.

Ellie’s confused at first, but she doesn’t leave you hanging. Apollo shakes his head with a frown, so you now offer him your fist.

“Come on,” you encourage him. “Don’t leave me hanging, it was funny.” You giggle.

Apollo rolls his eyes but very lightly hits your fist. “Only because you’re back,” he mutters.

You shrug sweetly and shoot him a sweet smile.

“It was a lame joke,” Ellie mutters.

You roll your eyes to her and sigh. “Well, I think it works,” you assure yourself. “It was good at the moment.” You flash her a smile.

Jackson isn’t far now, you all make it there quickly by horse. That wooden wall comes to view soon, and after being gone for so long, it’s such a heavenly sight. What once felt like a trapdoor, what once felt like a cage is now nothing but paradise. Walking in was such a fucking relief too. There was instant comfort in all the buildings, some that have had some tweaks and others that remain the same.

“Welcome back home,” Maria tells you as the gates close behind you.

You shoot her a smile and continue to look around at all the people, and then focus on the Christmas decorations, letting you know come up to date with what month it was; December! It’s almost Christmas!

Yet, even as happy as you feel, there’s a sadness that stabs your heart, that reminds you of that pain…

Henry and Sam should be here. They should’ve made it this far, they should’ve seen all this. You promised them…

“Y/N?!”

You snap away from your thoughts and look behind you where the call had come from, that’s when you see another familiar face, a close friend from your firefly days, and Apollo’s younger brother.

You turn your frown the other way around so they won’t worry. “Atlas!” You call out and climb off the horse, letting the man behind you take it for you.

“I knew it was you!” Atlas exclaims as you both run to meet halfway in an embrace. “Holy fuck!” He chuckles. “Fuck! I thought you were dead!”

You laugh softly and pat his back. “I made it, like I said I would.”

He smiles and caresses the back of your neck with his soft hands. “We missed you. Home wasn’t the same without you.”

You pull back and offer him a happy smile. “You haven’t aged,” you point out.

“Nah,” he winks. “Just got more handsome.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust and pull away from him completely.

Atlas smirks and glances at the pair you came in with as they walk away further in town. “You’ve brought company.”

You nod and turn to walk after them now, seeing Apollo approach on foot. “Yeah, that’s my dad,” you let Atlas know.

Atlas snaps his head to you and furrows his thick dark eyebrows. “No fucking way. Like, your dad, dad?”

Why are they so in disbelief that he’s your dad? Is there something you’re missing?

“Yeah.” You nod and scoff. “Him.” You let out a sigh and watch Apollo fall by your other side now. “I’ve got a question,” you abruptly change the subject as curiosity grows. “Are you still with redhead Jessica?”

Atlas begins to snicker, but Apollo answers before his brother can blurt the news.

“We broke up.”

You perk up instantly.

“Yeah,” Atlas bounces off his brother's announcement. “She cheated on him.” He smirks.

What a relief…not the cheating part.

Well…kinda…

“Yeah,” Apollo sighs as he shoots his brother a glare. “It happened like a year ago.”

You smile and let him see it. “Bad news, told ya.”

“Whatever,” Apollo retorts.

“Atlas! You rangle up stragglers?!” You hear a woman shout.

Apollo and you snap your heads to the side, seeing Atlas spin around to walk backwards so he can look at the young girls that had spoken to him.

“Yep!” Atlas lies. “Bad ones too! I spotted them myself, kept them from getting shot.”

You and Apollo share an amused and judgemental look before continuing to watch Atlas, noticing at that moment a pile of shit that one of the horses dropped just now; and Atlas was walking right towards it.

“A thousand that he steps in it,” you offer Apollo.

Your friend scoffs and shakes his head. “No need, he’s going to step in it.”

You both snicker and watch Atlas continue to walk back.

“Let’s meet later while everyone is at the movies, I’ll tell you all about it, and my recent patrol!”

The girls giggle and nod. “Let’s do it!” One of the girls accepts.

Atlas shoots them a wink, and as he does he runs into the pile of hot horse shit.

Without looking, as if you hadn’t ever left, Apollo and you share a proud highfive at his brother's carelessness.

“Oh man!” Atlas exclaims. “What the hell?!”

“Y/N?!” Someone yells, this one more familiar and soothing than before.

You snap your eyes ahead, and there in the middle of the crowd that had greeted you outside the gates, beside your dad, is your uncle Tommy.

“Uncle Tommy!” You call back with instant tears filling your eyes as you’re slammed with unmeasurable relief, more bliss than you’ve felt since you saw your dad for the first time.

Your uncle Tommy smiles softly and without hesitation, before wasting another second you both break through barriers of space to collide, to throw your arms around one another and hold each other.

“Oh, babygirl,” he whispers as he caresses your back, and holds you in his arms tightly as if he would lose you if his hold was too loose.

“Uncle Tommy,” you cry after not being able to hold it any longer.

“Oh,” he breathes out. “My sweet Sunny.”

As you held him, as you cried into his shoulder, you felt finally home, secured. This was home. Him. Uncle Tommy. For so long he was all you had after your dad left, for so long even when your dad was there he was the light that didn’t flicker away. He was the hope you almost lost. He was home, just as much as you were his.

Yes, as you hugged him, as you held him close you did notice the faint look of hurt in your dads eyes as he saw the interaction, it hurt you seeing it. But isn’t this what he wanted when he left you? When he drove you away? When you weren’t enough for him?

When you weren’t enough for him to stay and be your dad?

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201@maeneedsabreak@maelartasch@adristyles@daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller fanfiction #Joel miller #Henry Burrell x fem!reader #henry tlou x fem!reader #henry the last of us #tlou henry #the last of us henry #henry and Sam #sam tlou #Ellie #ellie williams #tlou ellie #Tommy miller #tommy tlou #maria tlou #tlou Tommy #chapter 3 #angst #the last of us

[damn-stark]

Tragedy at the Miller’s

Joel Miller x daughter!fem-reader, Henry x fem!reader

Summary- A simple family in a simple city. Your family may be small but it was a good family. Life was good.

That was until the day of the outbreak, after tragedy strikes, after your older sister Sarah dies everything you once knew dies with her. Now after 20 years the dad you once had is like a stranger, the world you knew is now overrun by infected, and you now have to fight to survive even if any night be your final night alive.

Yet even with the world is shit, you still want to know the world, you still crave to find love…you still crave your fathers love. Will he be everything you want, or will he replace you with the cargo he needs to smuggle across the country.

Song playlist, additional character intros

Season 1

Chapter 1 Beautiful girl

Chapter 2 Butterfly

Chapter 3 I’d make a deal with god

Chapter 4 This charming man

Chapter 5 Where has the time gone?

Chapter 6 Precious girls

Chapter 7 Blood on our hands

In-between season 1 & 2

Chapter 8 In the meadow

Additional scenes

Before dawn (takes place between chapter 1)

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #Joel miller #pedro pascal #Joel miller x daughter!reader #Joel x daughter!reader #joel the last of us #joel tlou #Tommy miller #Tommy miller tlou #Tommy miller the last of us #ellie last of us #tlou ellie #Ellie #Henry the last of us #Henry tlou x fem!reader #Henry x Fem!reader #Henry tlou #angst #daddy issues #fluff

[damn-stark]

Chapter 1 Beautiful girl

Chapter 1 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I really hope you guys like the first chapter, I’m very proud of it! And I hope you guys stick around for more :)

Warning- FLUFF :): violence, death, blood, swearing, and suggested sexual assault.

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x01

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“Alarm.”

There’s slight movement on the bed, and a weight gets lifted off your neck.

An annoying sound fills the room, but you ignore its screeching cries even if they don’t cry for your attention.

“Alarm!” Sarah yells out.

You groan and stretch out, feeling the bottom of your feet hit flesh.

“Come on,” you hear your fathers hoarse voice nearby before you feel a hand wrap around your arm to pull you up. “It’s time to get up.”

The hand around your arm slips off, letting you drop back on the bed. And the additional weight that once was on the bed is lifted off. You keep your eyes closed to avoid the warm rays of sun that already kiss your face, and groan softly before you flip around and curl up on the warm and sunken place your father was just laying on, finding solace in his smell that clung onto his pillows.

“Tomorrow,” you groan in a feigned deep voice.

There’s a scoff before suddenly arms wrap around you and pick you off the bed to throw you over his shoulder. You keep your eyes closed as he begins moving, but wrap your arms around his neck to keep warm and smile as you pat his back.

“Happy birthday, daddy,” you mumble since that’s not something you’ll ever forget, even if you still feel sleepy.

You then lift your head off his shoulder to press a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you baby,” he says as he gently caresses the back of your head.

“I have a present for you,” you share happily and lay your head back on his shoulder.

“Do you? Is it hm, maybe, brushing your teeth.”

You finally open your eyes and pull back to meet his gaze and giggle. “No!” You swipe back the strands of hair that were tickling the corner of your mouth as they stuck to your face due to the drool that had been spilling out of your mouth when you were sleeping.

Your dad then sucks air in through his teeth and narrows his gaze as he leans in and sniffs. “Oh no? Because your breath kinda stinks.” He remarks and places you down on your stool placed against the sink counter.

You roll your eyes and shift around to face the mirror, making sure to brush back your poorly cut bangs you had ruined last week because you swore you could be a hairstylist at 4–you still kinda do think you can be one.

Regardless, you grab your purple brush off the cup and put it under the running water, before you quickly squeeze toothpaste on the brush and begin to brush rapidly since you do have to show your dad a part of your present.

You brush up and down, side to side, and spit out the toothpaste before splashing water on your face and hopping off the stool.

“Change!” Your dad shouts from the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth.

Of course you know to do so that’s what you’re doing now. However, you don’t grab your own clothes, you run to his drawer and go on your tiptoes to pull open his shirt drawer. Since you can’t actually see, you just grab whichever shirt your hand lands on first and swipe it before running out of his room to run to yours.

The smell of breakfast runs up the stairs and travels to your nose, waking up your appetite and causing you to rapidly throw on your dads shirt that drowns your body and fits like a dress. You then proceed to search in your white chest full of costumes.

“Come on,” you mumble and lean further inside as you search for something small.

However, at that moment you end up finding your fairy wings and throw them out even if it doesn’t match your costume. They’re just sparkly and catch your attention. And they’re your favorite.

After that you then continue to search for your intended item.

“Y/N, come on!” You hear your dad call out from the hall before his footsteps recede down the stairs.

You mumble something you don’t even understand, and finally, stuck at the bottom of your chest is the black swirly mustache you need. So you peel it off the wood and stick it on yourself before you pull away and swipe the fairy wings off the floor to put them on as you finally run out to join your sister Sarah, and your dad downstairs.

“Morning,” Sarah says as she hears you running down the stairs whilst she takes out orange juice from the fridge.

“Mornin’!” You greet back and hop off the last step to then run to the high stool against the island.

Since it’s so high off the ground you slap your palms on the surface of the chair and struggle to push yourself on top to watch Sarah pour orange juice in your glass cup.

“Here,” she says and slides the cup over to you. “I’ll give you more later.”

You lean over the table and slide it to you. “Thank you,” you say and shoot her a beaming smile, catching her own smile as she sees your costume in all its glory.

She then grabs the other cup and pours juice in that one too to offer it to your dad as he turns around to face her with his mug of delicious smelling coffee.

“Vitamin C,” Sarah deadpans and places it down on the counter so your dad can take it.

“Daddy…” you call out for his attention and chug some juice as if you’ve never had anything to drink before. “…Look,” you sigh when you’ve swallowed.

As your dad is drinking his juice he turns, and his eyes immediately widen as his lips lift to a smile when he sees how you’re dressed.

“I’m you,” you reveal as if it isn’t obvious by his shirt and your fake mustache. “Happy birthday!” You shoot him a beaming grin.

He places the cup down and his grin widens. “What’s up with the wings?” He points.

You peer back at your fairy wings and shrug. “I like ‘em. You like it though?! And my mustache?!” You ask and pat it.

“It’s like part one in her four part present,” Sarah explains for you. “She’s worked hard on it.”

You nod in agreement and slide off your seat with your cup in hand.

“I love it, baby,” your dad says. “You look just like me.”

You pump your fist in excitement as you head to your seat around the small wooden circle table.

“You get your homework done?” Your dad asks Sarah whilst you find it easier to climb on these lower wooden seats. “Fractions?”

Sarah laughs and before long, breakfast is brought to the table, and the three of you peacefully eat eggs and cooked meat you don’t touch.

“How old are you again?” You ask your dad as you shove eggs in your mouth.

“Thirty-six,” he says.

You swallow and laugh, “that’s so old,” before Sarah interjects too.

“Gonna have to wear diapers soon.”

You giggle and watch your dad for his reaction.

“Who says I don’t already?” He retorts, causing you to laugh harder.

“That’s so gross,” you comment.

Your dad leans over and points at you. “You’re gonna have to change 'em.”

You stick your tongue out in disgust and shake your head, making him laugh before he pulls something out of his mouth. “Shell,” he says.

“Calcium,” Sarah counters and shoots your dad a grin that’s full of food.

“Lovely.”

You smile at her with admiration before you laugh softly. “You’re so silly, Sarah.”

Sarah looks over at you and nods with a sly smirk. “Aren't I?”

You nod and scrape up more eggs on your spoon.

“Is there enough for Uncle Tommy?” Your dad asks Sarah.

“Well, there would’ve been.”

You look down at your plate and see that you still have a piece or two left. “He can have some of mine,” you suggest, and then look back as the garage door opens and your uncle walks in.

“Uncle Tommy!” You greet with excitement.

Said man walks over and pats your dads shoulder, “Hey! You’re still alive, you old fucker.” He ruffles your hair and steals half a sausage from your plate.

“Aw, he loves you,” Sarah says.

“He’s dependent on me. Not the same,” your dad redirects.

You snap your head to the other side to look at your uncle in the kitchen.

“I think it’s the same.”

“It’s definitely the same,” your uncle bounces off your sister's comment. “I thought we was havin’ pancakes.”

“We’ll pick you somethin’ up on the road—”

“Uncle Tommy,” you cut your dad off. “You like my costume?” You furrow your eyebrows and clear your throat to mock your dads voice. “I’m daddy.”

Your uncle looks over and chuckles right away. “I love it. You nailed it, you look just like him, Sunny. Especially that mustache,” he says and points to your fake mustache.

You grin and kick your feet before you show your dad your smile as he watches with a serious face you quickly mock.

“Eat,” he grumbles.

“I am,” you whisper in your normal voice and focus back on your food whilst he continues to speak.

“Concrete guys gonna be there?”

“Yeah, they said maybe,” your uncle answers your dad.

“Maybe?” Your dad quickly snaps back. “We can’t frame until we pour. We’re not gettin’ paid until we frame.”

You sip some juice and look between the two men.

“Well, we could bring someone else on, get the job done faster.”

“No, no,” your dad counters your uncle Tommy. “I’m not splittin’ this job. I barely wanna split it with you. We could work a double.”

You may not understand at all what they’re saying even if you are very much intrigued by their conversation, but you do know what your dad means by working a double. He’s gonna stay out longer.

“What?” You whine.

“Literally?” Sarah protests in annoyance. “Today?”

Your dad looks between Sarah and you and tries to assure you both. “I know. I’d be done by nine. By nine, right?” He asks your uncle for reassurance.

You begin to pout in anger and sink back in your seat to display your frustration.

“Yeah,” your uncle Tommy confirms.

“I’ll bring back a cake,” your dad continues and pats your hand. “I promise.”

You perk up and ask, “chocolate cake?”

Your dad meets your gaze and nods. “Yeah, of course.”

And with that your anger sweeps away and you feel happy once again.

“…continued disturbances in Jakarta, but are advising U.S. citizens…”

“Jakarta,” your dad comments as he pulls his hand away from yours to grab his mug. “Where is that, Middle East?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell,” your uncle Tommy says. “It’s definitely a country. Or maybe part of Asia?”

“Jakarta isn’t a country,” Sarah interjects. “Being a part of Asia isn’t mutually exclusive with being a country…”

Her words tune out of your ears as all your hear is a jumble of mess you don’t understand, nor do you want to understand. You show that confusion clearly on your face and look over at your Uncle Tommy, and he shares a teasing smile.

“Shit,” he then says and looks at your sister. “Hope for us yet.”

The microwave then beeps and then it hits you at that moment, the next part of your dads present.

“Daddy!” You exclaim and stand up on your feet. “Can I sing you your birthday song?!”

Your dad looks up at you and nods, whilst Sarah already begins to discreetly laugh before you can even do a thing.

“Yay,” you mutter happily, and clear your throat before you begin to bop your head and sing a song you had heard a hundred times before in the place you get taken care of.

“Go, go, go, go, shorty. It’s your birthday. We gon’ to party like it’s your birthday, we gon’ sip—”

However, before you can finish, you come to an abrupt stop as your Uncle Tommy begins to chuckle loudly.

“No,” you whine and fall on your seat. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry and slam your head on the table. “Don’t laugh!” You shout.

No tears come out of your eyes because you don’t really intend to cry, you’re just pretending because you’re angry at him, and your dad gets your uncle in trouble when he makes you cry.

“Don’t laugh at me!” You continue to shout.

“I’m not laughin’!” He chuckles. “It’s just cute that’s all.”

“All right,” your dad interjects and ignores your fake sniffles. “Finish up quick, we'll drop you off.”

You continue to sniffle and peek an eye out, seeing your dad walking to the sink with your plate and his in hand. Since you haven’t gotten the reaction you wanted you keep yourself plastered on the table.

“I’m still eating my egg shells,” Sarah complains.

“You got seven minutes.” Your dad tells her.

“Your t-shirt is inside out,” Sarah points out.

“Shit,” your dad curses as he walks back to the table to pick you off the chair. “Come on you, let’s get you changed.”

You sniffle and shed a single tear. “Uncle Tommy laughed at me.” You say and hook your arms around his neck.

Your dad caresses the back of your back head and assures you, “I’ll talk to him. I liked your song though….Where did you learn it though?”

You begin to smile. “Miss Denise, her son Dwayne listens to a lot of songs she doesn’t like. They always fight about it.”

Your dad hums and then does as he said, he helps you get changed before he turns his shirt the correct way. And like all the other times he doesn’t fix your hair since he’s in a hurry to leave for work, he just gets you changed, puts your shoes on and carries you out after he helps you.

“Tommy,” he says and puts you down in the garage. “Can you take y/n across the street, I’ll load the stuff onto the truck.”

“‘Course,” your uncle Tommy agrees since it is a basically routine already. “Come on now, Sunny,” your uncle says and offers you his hand.

Choosing to forget that he laughed at you for now, you happily grab your uncle's hand. And once you walk out of the shade the garage provides, you immediately get greeted.

“Morning y/n!”

You look over and squint your eyes to block out the sun. “Morning!” You greet the old man back happily.

“You want a biscuit?” He asks.

You shake your head. “Nah, I already ate!”

Your uncle then nudges your arm and whispers. “What do you say?”

You hesitate for a moment before it clicks. “Thank you!” Your dad then passes by and you smile as you remember. “Hey, did you know it’s my daddy’s birthday! He’s turning thirty-six!” You share.

“No,” the old man exclaims. “Now I know! Happy birthday, Joel.”

You beam, and see your dad let out a sigh before he turns to face the neighbor taking in the morning sun and feeding Nana some biscuit.

“Thank you,” your dad says, whilst your uncle begins to encourage you forward

“Come on, let’s get you across the street,” he says.

As you follow at his side you peer back one more time to direct your dad a goodbye. “Goodbye daddy!”

Said man peers over his shoulder and waves goodbye. “Goodbye, baby. I’ll see you after work. Your sister is gonna pick you up after she gets home from school, okay?”

You nod and yell out your response. “Okay! Goodbye!”

——

*LATER*

All morning, even up to now there have been loud sounds rumbling in the sky, sirens have been crying all day, and Miss Denise never let you watch t.v. because she said she had to watch the news. And all day you’ve been bored because someone forgot to pack your toys and crayons.

You’ll forgive him though because it’s his birthday. The good thing now is that you're gonna have cookies!

“I was thinkin’ we’d make some cookies.” Mrs Adler says.

You beam up and run to the stool. “Chocolate chip?” You ask with excitement.

Mrs Adler turns around and meets your gaze with a happy smile. “Raisin,” she says.

That’s what she’s happy about? Fruit cookies?

Once her back is turned to you, you look back at Sarah and scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out to show your disgust.

She nods and mirrors your gestures before she walks over and helps you on the stool.

“Daddy forgot to pack my things,” you whine and prop your elbow on the table.

Sarah walks to her seat and pulls her backpack off her shoulders. “It’s okay, I brought you back up paper and crayons,” she assures you as she unzips her backpack to pull out what she said and hand them to you.

So while she does her homework you work on your next present for your dad, a drawing. You even stick out your tongue as if it's the hardest thing in the world—Because it really is to you because you want it to be perfect.

Yet that actually gets your stomach grumbling. But when the timer alerts that the fruit cookies are ready, that hunger isn't as important.

“You wanna give me a hand?” Mrs Adler breaks you away from your drawing.

You lift your gray crayon up and look up—your dad always said to be nice to old people, so you nod and slide off your chair to reach her side.

“Here,” the lady says and helps you on a step so you can reach the counter—“Now,” she adds and hands you oven mittens. “Wear them or you’ll get burnt.”

You do as she says and laugh as the mittens look funny on your little hands. You try to pretend they’re puppets, but then Mrs Adler hands you a spatula so you can help her unstick the cookies from the pan to place them somewhere else.

“Hey, Mrs Adler?” You hear Sarah call out before you see her walk in the kitchen. “Could I borrow this?” She asks and hands the lady a movie box once she reaches the counter.

“Yeah sure,” the lady laughs, whilst you lean over and see that it’s some adult movie—“It’s one of Danny’s,” she continues to say and hands Sarah back the movie, letting your sister then look at you to share a brief look that you understand.

“You know what?” Your sister interjects. “Our dads gonna be back real soon. We should go.”

Without hesitation you spin around and slide off the chair.

“Are you sure?” Mrs Adler probes.

Sarah nods, “yeah.”

You reach for the counter and swipe your drawing off the table.

“Well, you girls are takin’ some cookies,” Mrs Adler adds.

Great. Fruit cookies.

“Y/N,” the lady says. “You want one now? They’re cool enough to eat.” Without waiting for your answer she walks over to you to hand one to you.

Since you don’t want to be rude to hurt her feelings you take it and shoot her a wide smile as you bring it close to your mouth, whilst Sarah packs her stuff in her backpack.

You open your mouth and pretend you're going to take a bite, but just as Mrs Adler turns around you stuff the cookie in your pocket and just pretend to have your mouth full

“Good?” The lady asks with her back turned.

You hum and nod as you keep your cheeks puffed out.

“Good!” The lady says and walks off, letting you breathe out.

“Come on, let’s go, y/n,” Sarah calls out and reaches for your hand.

Eagerly before you can be given more fruit cookies you wipe your hand on your shirt before grabbing your sister's hand to walk to the door. Yet on your way there, Sarah stops as Mercy, the Adler’s dog begins to whine.

“What’s wrong with him?” You ask as you look at him in worry.

Sarah shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says and steals one last look at him before she continues to pull you out. However, you keep looking back at the whining dog until you can’t see him anymore once you’re out the door.

“I’m hungry,” you say and rub your stomach as you both hop off the step.

“Me too,” Sarah agrees as she walks you over the grass to wave her hand under the sprinklers. “We can have some leftovers at home.”

Once home, you eat as you finally watch cartoons. You wait for your dad to come home and finish his drawing. However, waiting turns out to be an eternity, the sun that was once outside disappears and leaves the sky dark, and with even more sirens every few minutes, and more loud noises in the sky. Eventually you begin to feel your eyes get heavy, but you’re determined to stay awake to wait for your dad.

And luckily after a long time keys jingle before the door opens, and your dad walks in.

“Daddy!” You greet happily and shoot up from the couch.

“Hey, baby,” he greets back as he walks over. “You’re awake?”

You nod and hop off the couch to run to the kitchen and grab the cone birthday hats from the table as he talks with Sarah. When you run back you place them on the table to wait for Sarah to give her his presents first, and instead head back to the couch. “Scooch,” you mutter to your dad.

He huffs at your comment but does as you say and makes room for you on the couch at his opposite side.

“Where’s the cake?” Sarah asks, making you realize that he in fact didn't have the chocolate cake he promised.

“Shit,” he groans.

You groan too and shake your head in disapproval.

“C’mon, man,” Sarah mutters with discontent.

“I’ll get us one tomorrow,” your dad assures her as he takes off his work boots.

“Swear, or you don’t get your present.”

Your dad looks up and questions your sister's comment, “you got me a present?”

“Swear.”

“On my life,” he whispers, making Sarah hesitate for a second before she turns around to grab his gift.

You stand up on the couch right away to watch eagerly, catching your dad turn around to look up at you. “You’re not mad at me are you, Sunny?” He asks and wraps his arms around you.

You beam down at him and wrap your arms around his neck. “Of course not. I can never be mad at you, daddy, ” you comfort him sweetly. “We can have cake tomorrow, or the day after that. Or Mrs Adler can make fruit cake.”

“Fruit cake?” He query’s with his brow quirked.

You scrunch your nose in disgust and nod. “Yeah. She made fruit cookies today,” she sigh

“Gross,” he mumbles before he pulls you down to sit you on his lap and press a kiss on your head before you both look over at Sarah as she hands him a small box.

“Wow,” he comments and shows it off to you first before he opens it, revealing a watch with a green strap.

“Fixed it for you,” Sarah says.

Your dad gets the watch out of the box and pulls it up to his ear. “Did you?” He asks her.

Sarah’s eyebrows furrow and she quickly retorts, “what?” before she pulls his hand towards her.

“I don’t hear anything,” he says.

Sarah looks at the watch with concern for a brief second and makes your dad begin to laugh. Sarah hears and then pushes him back, causing you to move back too.

“Hey!” You exclaim.

“That was lame,” Sarah quips. “You’re lame.”

“Yeah, I know,” your dad agrees and grabs onto you tighter so you won’t fall back. “Where’d you get the money for this?” He asks her as he begins to put on his watch.

“Drugs,” she deadpans. “I sell hardcore drugs.”

“It’s better than what I do,” he mutters.

“It was only twenty dollars, which I stole from you.”

You cover your mouth and say, “oh,” with your eyes wide in shock.

Your dad shares a quick teasing look with you before you both point your looks at Sarah.

“I could’ve stolen 60,” she explains herself, “but I put the change back because I’m an honest thief.”

He hums and shares another look with you, making you cross your arms over your chest to then stare her down.

“Besides, it’s the thought that counts. And you were never gonna do it yourself, so.”

Your dad looks back at her and lets his gaze linger for a moment before he looks at his watch he finishes fixing on his wrist.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

You let your arms fall and look at Sarah with admiration, catching her soft smile.

“What do you say?” Your dad asks you with a teasing look. “Should we forgive her?”

You meet your older sister's gaze and shoot her a smile before you nod without hesitation. “Yes.”

Your dad scoffs and smirks.

“Why don’t you give dad your present, y/n?” Sarah encourages you, making you slide off your dads lap to grab the birthday hats.

“Daddy,” you say with a grin and turn to jump on the couch to put a red birthday hat on his head that simply says ‘happy birthday’ on it. “That’s for you. I have one for…Sarah…” you trail off and jump off to go to her.

She sees you get close and ducks her head down so you can put a hat on her head. After that you place the last hat on your own head. “And one for me!” You smile.

“Oh, wow…” your dad says and pushes the hat back from his forehead. “We look funny.”

You giggle and nod. “Yeah. I know.” You then jump and spin around to grab the drawing from the table and show it off to him.

“And my last present, a drawing,” you squeal, and look down at the paper to point at him drawn floating off the ground and with the same red hat on his head. “That’s you, you’re frowning because that’s what you always do….”

“So true,” Sarah snorts, whilst your dad just scoffs.

“And that’s…a cake,” you point to the tiny brown circle cake in the middle. “I couldn’t fit thirty-six candles so I just put one.”

You shift your eyes across the page and point to the curly headed girl that’s taller than your dad. “That’s Sarah,” you point out and slide your finger to the side. “And that’s me,” you point to yourself holding her hand. “We’re smiling ‘cause you’re gonna blow out the candles and make a wish.”

Sarah giggles, and your dad begins to grin.

“And this…” you point to the tiny man next to him with a big smile. “…Is Uncle Tommy. He’s tiny because he laughed at me today.”

Your dad snorts in amusement before he narrows his eyes and points to the gray and black swirls over your uncle's head that come out of his smile. “What’s that?” He asks.

You look closer and giggle. “That’s his smoke from his cigarette.”

Your dad chuckles and takes the drawing from you. “Wow, baby, this is amazing, you’re so good!”

You climb on his lap and smile proudly. “You really like it?” You ask and hold your hands together.

Your dad looks down at you and nods with a happy smile on his face. “I really love it. Thank you.” He says and leans down to press a kiss on your head.

You clap your hands and grin before you cling onto his neck to hug him.

“Oh, there’s one more,” Sarah adds and turns around to pull out the movie she had brought from the Adler's house. And that immediately makes him happier.

“Borrowed it from the Adler’s,” Sarah continues as your dad looks at the movie of a ninja and some guy.

“This is the one with the deleted scenes,” your dad points out in amazement.

“Yeah, imagine how bad those have to be. C’mon,” Sarah nudges him. “Pop it in. While it’s still your birthday.”

Your dad holds onto you as he gets off the couch to put in the movie. When he returns to the couch to change the tv, Sarah gets closer to him and cuddles at his side, while you cuddle yourself on his other side.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he tells Sarah and you.

“‘Course, I won’t, it’s too riveting,” Sarah says.

You shake your head. “I won’t either,” you assure him.

However, once the movie begins to play it fails to grab your attention, so it doesn’t take long for you to finally give in to the sleep that had already been lurking. And all you know before you fall asleep is that you were holding onto your dads arm and resting your head on his shoulder, while Sarah lay her head on his lap. You knew you were in the living room, and only saw them before the darkness came.

But when you wake up to more loud noises rumbling in the sky and bright lights flashing over your eyes, your dad nor Sarah are with you anymore, you’re not in the living room, you’re actually in your room, on your own bed, alone. Since the noises scare you like the nightmares and the shadows in the corner of your room, you get off your bed and run over to your dads room.

However, when you walk in he’s not in bed. “Daddy?” You call out in a quivering voice. You slowly walk further in and part your lips again, but nothing comes out because then another light flashes outside that scares you right over to Sarah’s room.

When you see that she’s sleeping you carefully close the door before you tiptoe over and climb on her bed. When you get under her sheets she probably feels you because right away without a fault she wraps her arm around you and pulls you close to her.

She may not be your dad, but she is one of your favorite people, she still brings you comfort, she still makes you feel calm. Enough so that you fall asleep again in her arms.

——

*LATER THAT NIGHT*

“…come on, babygirl…”

There’s soft murmurs of a familiar voice by your ear, but it tunes out quickly as you remain half asleep, thinking that the voice you hear, that the sensation of being carried is all a part of some dream.

“…hey, I have her. Let’s go. Come on…”

The voice gets louder now, and second by second your mind begins to grasp that you’re not asleep anymore.

“…Denise, you get back inside the house! You lock your doors! Now!”

You begin to flutter your eyes open, and the first thing you see through your blurry sight is the outside of your house from inside of the truck.

“C’mon, c’mon, get in!”

You drift your eyes to the side and identify a blurry sight of your dad getting inside.

“Daddy?” You ask groggily as you wipe your eyes.

In that immediate second your dad looks back with his eyes wide and full of fear you can easily detect.

“It’s okay, baby,” he tries to assure you. “We’re just going away for a bit okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper and drop your hands. You then blink and spot your uncle Tommy driving, you drift your eyes to the side to look outside the window, spotting the Adlers outside their house as your uncle drives by; they’re walking and seem to be in their pajamas, but they also have something on their shirt. “Daddy? Why is Mr—”

“Hey,” he cuts you off and snaps his head back. “Look at me, just look at me, okay, baby? Sarah, get your seatbelt on and then help your sister.”

With the fear in his voice and the way it’s risen louder, you immediately begin to feel a fear twisting your heart strings.

“Jesus Christ, Joel!”

You gasp softly at the shout and try to look back, but Sarah then calls for your attention. “Hey, you want to help me grab your straps.”

You blink and meet her gaze, catching that same fear on her face, but she tries to assure you as she helps strap yourself on your seat.

“Okay,” you mumble and reach your left hand back to put your hand through the strap before you pull it forward and hand it to Sarah, so she can buckle you in.

Sirens then drive by, flashing their bright red and blue lights and stealing your attention out the window.

“Daddy—”

“We don’t know,” your dad cuts Sarah off.

“They’re saying it’s a virus…” you hear your uncle Tommy input.

You slowly look over at him and try to understand what that means, noticing an empty backpack on the car floor by your feet in the meanwhile.

“…Some kind of parasite.”

“Is it from terrorists?” Sarah asks, but you can’t understand, all you can do is listen and find no meaning to their words—no, actually all you do understand is fear.

“We don’t know,” your dad interjects.

“Are we sick?” Sarah continues to ask, making your eyes widen and your heart beat faster.

Your dad looks back and assures your sister. “No. Of course not.”

His words comfort you even if you don’t understand the grand scheme of things.

“Why did things blow up?” Sarah continues.

Yet she gets no answer. Your uncle speaks but not on that matter. “No cellphone, no radio,” he says and turns off the static that had begun to annoy you. “Minute ago, newsman wouldn’t shut up.”

“How do you know?”

“What?” Your dad probes Sarah’s question.

“How do you know we’re not sick?”

Again? Why is she asking that again?

Unless….

“We’re sick?” You interject panicked.

Your dad looks back and meets Sara’s gaze before he looks over at you and shakes his head. “No, we’re not sick.”

You blink and swallow thickly out of lingering fear.

“They’re saying it’s mostly people in the city,” your uncle adds. “It’s why they got the highway blocked off.”

You blink again, and as you look out the front window you catch a bright burning fire swallowing a house whole.

“God,” your uncle mutters. “That’s Jimmy’s place.”

As you pass by you lean closer to the window beside you to watch the blazing flames, and all you see is a great angry monster that destroyed the house, that wanted to eat you and everything else.

“Daddy, what’s going on, I’m scared,” you whisper in a quivering voice and with your eyes brimming with tears.

Said man looks back and reaches his hand over to pat your knee. “It’s okay, baby, you’re gonna be okay,” he comforts you.

You let your eyes linger on him and nod slowly as you choose to believe him. “Okay,” you whisper and grab onto your seat straps.

“The Adlers would take Nana into the city,” Sarah adds. “To the hospital for stuff.”

“That’s right,” your dad agrees. “They would. That’s probably why.”

Are they sick? Is that why they were outside?

“But you’d have to go a lot, right?”

“We’re fine,” your uncle assures Sarah. “Trust me.”

Sirens echo out from outside, but when you peek out the window all you see is darkness, shadows and monsters lurking within them.

“Sarah,” you mumble and look at your sister sitting beside your car seat. “Can you hold my hand?”

Your sister looks at you and nods with a very faint smile on her lips. “‘Course,” she whispers and reaches over to wrap her hand around yours.

You smile softly, but that’s when you catch people outside on the street waving and calling for help, making you hold onto Sarah tighter.

“What are you doin’?” Your dad spats as the car slows down.

“Got a kid, Joel,” your uncle Tommy points out, letting you notice a small kid probably around your age hugging his mom.

“So do we. Keep driving.”

Without hesitation the car speeds up and the man cries out louder. Now rather than looking back you look between your dad and your uncle, and wonder why your dad wasn’t nice enough to let the strangers in the car with you.

“Fuck!” Your uncle then exclaims, making your shoulders jump. “Everybody had the same fuckin’ idea.”

You lift your eyes from Sarah’s hand and see that you’re now driving to the freeway, you see hundreds of red lights from the hundreds of cars not moving. Some cars even try to go the wrong way, resulting in them almost crashing into your car, and making you close your eyes to avoid seeing them as they flash in your eyes.

“I can’t get through this,” your uncle Tommy says.

“All right, let’s think it through, we’ll think it through,” you hear your dad say.

“Fuck!”

“All right, take the field. We cut across and we pick up on the west side.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” you hear your uncle agree. “West, west, all right. All right, hang on.”

The car ride begins to get bumpy, and out of curiosity you open your eyes to check out what's going on, and see that you’re driving on grass now. You’re driving to some place with a lot of lights, but then they change their mind and turn to drive towards a town instead.

The further you get though, the more the noises become; like the plane's engines that fly low, the quicker your head begins to spin and heighten those fearful thoughts. The more the car keeps moving, the more people you see run and hear scream, the harder your chest begins to hurt whilst your breathing quickens. You couldn’t even find solace with Sarah next to you.

You try to close your eyes, block out everything that you saw, everything you heard, but just as you try, lights flash at your side, and when you look over a car almost crashes at your side of the car, making you scream and cover your ears.

“Daddy!” You cry out. “I wanna go home!”

“It’s okay baby, just keep your eyes closed, okay?” He says and pats your knee again.

You don’t answer this time because even with words, even with his touch you still can’t calm down or keep your head from hurting. So you keep trying to squeeze your eyes tighter. However, that doesn’t block out all the shouting outside, or your dads yelling, you can hear it all booming in your ears.

Albeit, suddenly something cuts it all off, something louder sounding behind you, it even rumbles the car. When you look back you see an airplane approaching the car.

“Daddy?!” You cry out.

As the plane gets close you slap your hands over your ears again, you try to call out for your dad again, but then…

There's nothing….

——

“…Y/N…”

You groan and feel inklings of pain all over your body. You hear flames burning, but it’s all dark.

This must be a dream. You’re on Sarah’s bed, having a nightmare.

“Y/N?”

That’s him, your dad, he’s back.

Once again you flutter your eyes open, but instead of seeing Sarah’s room, you see the car again, however now everything is upside down, Sarah, your dad, your uncle, the streets. And now you feel stuck and in pain.

“Daddy?” You whimper out and begin to pant. “It hurts.”

Your dad sighs in relief and reaches his hand out, but he can’t grab you. “Don’t move,” he says. “Don’t move. Your uncle Tommy is gonna help you, okay?”

You keep your eyes glued on him and nod, “okay,” you say in a trembling voice.

There’s finally no more yelling outside, or loud planes, there’s nothing but ringing in your ears that gets lower and lower.

You try to look to the side to check on Sarah, but just as you catch sight of your sister and your dad beginning to crawl over to her, the door beside you opens and you see your uncle Tommy.

“Hey, Sunny,” he says in a soft voice. “Ima gonna help you out, okay? Hold onto me,” he instructs and then crawls over to you to grab you from under one arm while he uses the other to try and unbuckle your restraints.

You reach over and wrap your arms around his neck, but just as he tries to pull off your restraints there’s sharp burning pains that suddenly slam into you. “Ow! Ow!” You cry out.

Your uncle's eyes meet yours and he quickly tries to comfort you, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry, the restraints are cutting you, I’m sorry,” he says, but continues to pull, only causing more pain.

Until finally the sharp pain disappears, leaving only the burning pain as you feel weightless.

“Hold on tight,” your uncle says and pulls you towards him before he grabs the backpack from the floor, and then crawls back outside.

And once you’re out from under the car your uncle puts you down on the ground. That’s when you see that fires are in fact true, they weren’t just part of your mind, they burn all around….

“Look at me,” your uncle startles you. “Don’t look anywhere else, okay?”

You shut your mouth and curl your hands to fists as you nod and try not to cry.

“Joel, how you doin’ over there?!” Your uncle shouts as he grabs your hand and yanks you to him.

“Sarah,” you hear your dad yell, “her leg is hurt, can you hold onto y/n?!”

Your heart sinks at the sound, but you also feel happy to hear from your dad again.

“Yeah, yeah! I can! Y/N,” your uncle then calls, making you meet his gaze again. “I need you to climb on my back and put your legs through the backpacks straps, and wrap your legs around me, okay? You then have to hold onto my neck very tight, okay? Don’t let go, ever.” He instructs as he swings on the empty backpack.

You sniffle and nod quickly whilst you keep your eyes on him like he said, you ignore the fires and the people that lay on the ground. Once he’s done he picks you up, and you climb on to his back to put each leg through a backpack strap to sit like if it were some baby carrier moms wear at the parks.

“Hold onto me,” your uncle repeats.

You nod and cling your arms around him, managing to see everything now that you’re on his back; the fires from all the cars crashed onto the street, broken windows, open stores, bodies and…red blood. Real blood.

Up to this point blood only existed when you got cuts, it hurt, but your dad always made it disappear. Blood existed in the movies, it was fake, it was never puddled and gushing out of people.

“Where’s my daddy?” You ask in a quivering voice.

“He’s helping Sarah,” your uncle assures you before he turns around to face the truck that you notice is flipped upside down and broken like the others.

“We gotta get off the street!” Your uncle yells, not even seconds later a police siren screech’s out, causing him to run away.

However, he doesn’t make it far because he then falls down on his knees as the car crashes into the truck and triggers an explosion that forces you to close your eyes and squeal.

“Tommy?! Y/N?!”

Your uncle gets up, and you snap your eyes open to look to where you heard your name, seeing the fire envelope both the truck and the police car now.

“Daddy?!” You call out.

“Tommy? Y/N?”

Your uncle approaches the cars on fire and stops by them to crouch and shout. “Head to the river! I’ll find a way.”

You lower your head and see your dad past a gap of the cars on fire. “Daddy?” You call out again.

His eyes snap to you at that moment and he points. “Y/N, you listen to your uncle Tommy, okay?” He says. “Sarah and I will see you again in a bit, okay?!”

You squint to try and see your sister, but you don’t catch a glimpse of her. Much to your disappointment.

“Get her outta here, Joel!” Your uncle yells.

“You take care of her!” Your dad shouts back. “Keep her safe!”

Your uncle nods. “I will. Go!”

Without waiting a moment longer your uncle Tommy begins to walk ahead, towards the bodies, towards the fire, towards people…towards...people eating other people.

“Uncle Tommy,” your jaw drops as tears escape down your cheeks now. “Why…why,” you stammer as your eyes widen in horror. “Is that man biting that other—”

“Hey, you close your eyes,” he cuts you off. “Close your eyes.”

You blink and look back as he makes a turn into a store. You keep your eyes on the man eating that other man as if your eyes were stuck on them, and ask yourself why. You can’t grasp for a single second why they’d do that.

That’s all that occupies your mind besides the horror that paralyzes you, that single question.

You only close your eyes after, hoping it would all be a nightmare, hoping that when you open them again you’ll wake up next to your sister, or your dad.

But no, when you open your eyes you just see bright white lights on the ceiling, and shelves of food. Behind you there’s still fire and people eating other people. And once you get past the cash register your uncle comes to a sudden halt before he makes a sharp turn around to point his gun at a woman bleeding out on the floor.

“Is she gonna eat us?” You utter and keep your eyes on the lady as your uncle slowly walks back.

“No,” he shakes his head. “No. Just close your eyes…”

His words trail off as from the corner of your eye you catch a tall skinny man twitching in between one of the aisles. “Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “There’s one—”

Before you can finish however, the man snaps his head over to you and looks at you for a second before he breaks into a sprint towards you. You scream and your uncle doesn’t hesitate to try and run to the back door.

Nevertheless, the lady that had been on the ground suddenly gets up and heads towards you too.

You open your mouth to try and scream, but not a single sound escapes out of your mouth from the terror, so instead you proceed to squeeze your eyes shut, and press your head against your uncle's shoulder as he runs into the back room.

“Hold on y/n! Hold on!” He yells as you feel him running.

Albeit he suddenly comes to a sudden halt just as you feel the cold breeze hit your body; he moves his leg up and groans before there’s a thud. You want to open your eyes to see, but then in that moment suddenly something grabs you by your hair and yanks you back, forcing you to open your eyes and cry out at the top of your lungs.

“Uncle Tommy!” You screech and claw your nails in his shoulders as you begin to get pulled out from the backpack.

You snap your eyes up and see the lady from before opening her mouth and leaning down to try and bite you with something weird coming out of her mouth. “Uncle Tommy!” You cry again.

A shot then goes off before in a flash of a second your uncle swings his elbow back to smack the woman in the face, causing her to let go of you and let you slide back inside the backpack. He then walks to her and smashes the end of his gun on her face until she doesn’t move anymore.

“Are you okay?” Your uncle asks and doesn’t waste a second to run out of the store, trapping the skinny boy inside. He then proceeds to run into a dark alley and asks another question. “She didn’t bite you?”

With tears streaming down your cheeks you shake your head. “No,” you say between pants. “No. I’m okay.”

“Good,” he mumbles and slows down to a jog. “Let’s go find your dad and sister.”

Once you’re out of the alley you come across a grass field and immediately hear gunshots echo before there’s screams. You don’t think of it at the moment, you don’t think it’s your dad and sister, you don’t actually see anyone until your uncle climbs down a small hill and shoots someone in a uniform. When that man falls down you then see your dad and Sarah lying on the ground.

“Dad—”

“Oh God,” your uncle cuts you off.

You watch your dad look back before he crawls over to Sarah, while your uncle gets closer. And once he does approach them, you see Sarah laying on the ground, you hear her panting and crying, and hear and watch your dad trying to help her.

“Move your hand, baby. Move your hand.”

You lift your head and see your dad press his hand against the blood that comes out of her.

“Sarah,” you call out softly with growing concern.

Your dad tries to help her up, but she begins to scream in protest, making you whimper.

“I know, baby, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know it hurts.”

She keeps crying and panting, she grabs him, but she doesn’t get up.

“Uncle Tommy,” you whisper. “What’s happening?”

Yet you’re ignored and the air is filled with your dads voice again.

“I know, I know,” your dad keeps repeating himself as he keeps pressing his hands on her body. “I know this hurts. You’re gonna be okay.”

You blink and slowly begin to grasp that she’s hurt. That she’s crying because she’s hurting.

“Sarah,” you whisper quietly and feel your throat tighten as your eyes sting again.

“All right, baby, baby, baby, listen to me. I gotta get you up, okay? I gotta get you up. All right? You come on.” Your dad begins to lift her up and her screams become more intense, and begin to stab at your heart, filling you concern.

“You come on. I know, baby. No, no. I know, I know. I know, I know. I know. I know. Tommy, help me!” Your dad yells and looks back.

“Joel,” your uncle whispers as Sarah then stops moving.

Your dad looks back at Sarah, and he begins to cry. “C’mon baby girl. C’mon, baby girl. I gotta get you up,” you hear your dad say as he cradles your sister in his arms. “Come on. Come on, we’ll get up. C’mon, baby girl. Come on, come—please.”

Your dad then begins to cry louder and it shatters something in you. You don’t fully understand why, but hearing him cry, seeing him hug your older sister, seeing her not move, it shatters your heart.

You know you’re young, you can’t understand most of what’s happening, but you understand that she’s gone.

Yet you don’t try to move. Tears run out of your eyes, but you don’t move. You just watch her with tears streaming down your face and tell yourself that she’s going to wake up again, that she’ll get up again.

Sarah is going to wake up again…

——

*20 YEARS LATER*

The metal is cold against your fingertips, the silence is deafening in your ears, and the breeze is bitter against the only bit of flesh that’s exposed, your fingertips.

The sky above is littered with gray clouds, providing a dull white natural hue, and adding better cover without having the metal of your weapons reflect around the woods.

The bottom of your boots crack a branch that you didn’t catch before, making you stop and glance around just in case anyone pops out from the tall greenery that covers the forest floor. When no one does you keep stalking forward until just ahead the greenery begins to shake.

You let go of the pendant around your neck and reach for your pistol holstered on your hip, but mock a bird's whistle first and wait for a response.

The greenery then stops and you lower your head to wait with your breath held in your chest.

And luckily seconds later there’s a bark, letting you sigh in relief and finally stand to your feet to continue walking ahead.

“Austin,” you call out.

The greenery continues to shake for a moment longer before your black German Shepherd comes out.

“All good?” You ask rhetorically since he can’t really answer.

He tries his best though and turns to lead you ahead in a trot.

“We’ll camp just ahead,” you keep telling your dog. “Then I can take this stupid thing off,” you grumble and pull on the mask around your mouth.

Austin's ears shift but he doesn’t say anything in response, he keeps trotting through the woods. Until he suddenly halts in his tracks and perks his ears up.

Without hesitation you stop too and glance around, yet you don’t see anyone, nothing moves, there's just wind. However, he’s never wrong so you reach for your rifle strap and slide it off your shoulder. You raise it and slowly begin to look up at the branches above, but then a gunshot echoes and Austin falls to ground without a single pained whimper.

You lower your gun and see blood pouring out of your dog's head. “Austin,” you call out in disbelief, and begin to pant as you see his brown eyes rolled up.

“No, no,” you mutter before you clench your jaw and tighten your hold around your rifle and snap your head up to the point above where the gunshot had sounded from.

Nevertheless, just as you catch a figure disguised amongst the leaves and branches a heavy net falls over you and shoves you to the ground, trapping you under the rope beside the corpse of your beloved dog.

“Fuck,” you mutter and flip to your stomach to grab your rifle off the ground, but then a thump lands beside the net and a boot then is pressed on your wrist, disabling your reach.

“Tsk, Tsk,” the person above you clicks their tongue. “You should be more careful next time,” a scratchy manly voice says, making you go rigid. “Look up at the sky a bit.”

The man crouches down and pulls the net off your body to grab a cluster of fabric from your hood.

“Let’s see what hides beneath the hood,” he chuckles.

You scoff and begin to wiggle your fingers to try and reach for your knife hidden under your cloak.

The man proceeds to pull the hood off your head and quickly grabs you by the back of your head to yank your head up so you can see his dirt covered face, and meet his piercing blue-green eyes. Albeit your face is still partially covered by the mask over your mouth so he grows more curious.

“Hm,” he hums and reaches his long pale finger for the mask to pull it off your mouth, relieving your entire face and the gender you tried to hide for your safety now that you’re alone.

“Well, well,” he says with a malicious smirk. “A woman. Look at her Max. All pretty and shit.” He reaches for your chin, but you pull back.

He scoffs, and you feel the handle of your knife under your fingertips, so you quickly grasp it and throw your hand up to stab his neck, but then, the other man you assume is Max whips wire around your wrists and pulls your hand away from the man above you, causing you to drop your knife.

“She’s brave too. Oh doll face,” the man above you says and hits his chest. “You make my heart yearn.” He snickers and grabs you by your elbow to lift you up.

Yet as he does you swing your nails across his face and scratch him down his cheek, making him yelp like a little wimp and step back.

“Mother fucker,” you spat at his face and swing your fist across his face, feeling something his nose crack at impact.

Max tries to pull you back by pulling the wire, but you then reach for your gun holstered at your side, and quickly wrap the wire around your hand to pull him before you shoot his face.

“Fuck you, that’s for killing my dog bastard,” you sneer, and proceed to turn around to face the other man, to try and kill him too. Albeit you end up ducking as he shoots his pistol.

The bullet hits the tree behind you, luckily, so you then choose to break into a sprint, leaving your rifle behind for now; just until you get rid of this man.

You actually make it a few paces ahead, yet your luck ends at the moment you pass a wide tree surrounded by bushes because someone comes out from your left side and tackles you down to the ground, making you drop your gun.

“Oof,” you breathe out and feel a dull pain radiate on your side.

You quickly slap your hand on the dirt and try to push yourself up, but then a large hand grabs you by your arm and flips you to your back.

It’s another man, this is one plumper than others, but he’s still dirty and nasty. This one pins your wired hand back over your head before grabbing your other hand to do the same and then wrap the wire around both hands.

You try to keep squirming, you try to kick your feet, but then the man crouches down and keeps you from moving, forcing you to see his older and much rounder face.

“So much trouble,” he mutters in a low gravelly voice. “We were gonna take you to our camp, have some of the others have fun, but you’re trouble, we’ll take you here…” he trails off and reaches down for your pendants.

“Get your fucking dirty fingers off me!” You snap, but he pulls a pendant up regardless.

“A firefly,” he reveals as he sees the insignia engraved on one side. “What a surprise you’re all alone, you're all usually traveling in packs.” He scoffs and turns it around to read the name. “Tommy…Miller,” he scoffs and drifts his eyes to you. “Can’t be right. You’re too pretty to be a Tommy.” He winks and lets that pendant go to grab the other one.

You scrunch your nose in disgust, and slowly proceed to drag your leg back to try and knee his ass. But all of sudden something sharp stabs your leg, making you groan in pain.

“I have had enough of your tactics,” the same scratchy voice from a moment ago snaps before he shows his face above the older man’s head. “Go on Mike, show her how to behave.”

The older man snickers and lets your pendant go before he can read your name, and instead reaches for your cloak to rip it off your body.

“No,” you grunt and try to swing your body from side to side, but the man just grips onto your chin and shoves your head down.

“Behave!” He bellows, spitting drops of saliva on your face.

You close your eyes and groan in disgust, but don’t stop fidgeting. He then proceeds to lower his hand down your body to unhook your holster belt from your hip.

“No, please,” you plead, feeling your heart pound in your chest and your head begin to spin with fear.

Yet, to no avail, the man then reaches for your pants.

Albeit just before he can do anything else a gunshot echoes and the man behind the older man drops, causing the older man to let you go and snap his head back. He parts his lips to speak, but before he can utter anything another gunshot goes off and hits him through the head, spilling drops of blood over your face, and making his body begin to fall back.

You catch his movement, and quickly out of adrenaline use the other man’s corpse to push yourself back and get out of the older man’s way before he can fall on you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you say between pants, and even if you’re in pain, terrified, and still shaken with disbelief, you flip around to quickly get on your knees and reach for your pistol thrown on the ground.

“Jace get the wire,” you hear someone say behind you.

You ignore the pounding pain from your leg and crawl forward until a tall young man who seems to be around your age, with a shaved head and a shaved goatee, and who reminds you of your friend from Jackson, gets in front of you.

He’s not dirty though like the other three, he’s not clean either, but he isn’t using camouflage like the others. And he doesn’t have his gun out.

Still you can never be sure with people. They’re worse than infected because at least their actions are predecible, people’s aren't.

“You touch me and I’ll put a bullet through your eyes,” you sneer and point at his hand.

“Whoa, whoa, girl,” the guy, Jace says and raises his hands. “I just want to help. We just saved you!” He exclaims with panic.

You scoff. “So what? Want me to get on my…” you trail off as you catch what you’re going to say and just keep pointing.

“Hey,” the other voice cuts in as you hear his footsteps approach from your side. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

You keep your gun on Jace, but snap your eyes to the side, seeing a man a bit shorter than Jace. His skin is dark, and his eyes even darker. He has a better shaped mustache and goatee than his friend, but shorter shaped eyebrows than his friend. He also…has a nicer face, he’s cute, and more musclery built.

“I’m Henry,” he introduces and points at his chest with one hand whilst he raises the other to show he means no harm. “That’s Jace, my friend.” He points to the other guy, but you don’t bother looking at Jace anymore, you hold Henry’s gaze, as he holds yours, and swallows thickly too.

“Those guys,” he points to the man dead on the ground, “are hunters from the city. We have a camp nearby, we mean no harm. We’re just trying to survive like you. Let us help you.”

You hesitate and keep your eyes on him, finding yourself being able to trust him with his words alone. After all you’ve seen the eyes of evil men, he doesn’t have that look at all.

“Fine,” you mutter and lower the gun to let them drop their guard and their hands. “But if you turn out to be some kinda gang I’ll shoot you first.”

Henry scoffs softly, “fair.” He then begins to approach you, and you let him.

However, before you can meet his gaze as he crouches down in front of you to help you with the wire around your wrists, you look at Jace. “I’m sorry,” you tell him with sincerity.

Jace parts his lips in surprise and lets out a small huff before he retorts, “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

You hum and drift your eyes back to Henry to finally give him your name. “I’m Y/N.”

Henry lifts his eyes from the wire and pulls the corner of his lips to a faint smile. “Firefly, huh?” He refers to the pendants hanging from your silver chain necklace around your neck. “We’ve been trying to look for them.”

You scoff and lower your gaze to watch him unwrap the wire. “I used to be one. A long time ago though, sorry to disappoint.”

Henry shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll keep looking.”

You hum and lift your gaze at the same time he does, you part your lips to say something, but you then catch the sound of additional footsteps approaching and quickly look over, catching a little boy that has Henry's complexion, and red paint over his eyes.

They are telling the truth then. They really mean no harm. If they truly did they wouldn't be carrying that little boy with them.

“That’s my brother,” Henry says. “Sam.”

You offer the boy a gentle smile, but he just looks at you up and down before he gets closer to Henry.

“And, it’s off,” Henry assures you as he finally frees your hands from that sharp wire that was cutting your skin.

You sigh in relief and rub your wrists for a second before you fall back on your ass to get a better view of the wound on your leg. “Fuck,” you murmur and lean forward to pull your pant leg up. “Fuck.”

“We have some stuff at camp, you can patch yourself up there.” Henry interjects.

“I have stuff in my backpack,” you counter stubbornly and drop your pant leg to twist around and look at the dead men.

“Well regardless, you can patch yourself up at camp, we need to go, it's going to get dark soon.” Henry adds.

The stupid man you punched has your rifle, fucker. You push yourself to your feet, but it hurts too much to add much more weight now that the adrenaline isn’t pumping in your blood.

“Here,” you hear Henry say before you feel his hand wrap around your arm. “Come on, get up,” he whispers as he helps you to your feet. “You’re okay, you can walk.”

You grunt as the pain pounds harder, and quickly grab his wrist to keep yourself from falling.

“You’re okay,” he assures you again and finally gets you to stand. “There you go.”

You huff out in frustration to your own wound, but you can’t find yourself to be cold, so as you keep your hand on his wrist for…support (not because he’s warm), you drift your eyes to the side, glancing first at his hand around your arm before looking up to meet his gaze.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly.

He holds your gaze and hums as a response.

You let your gazes and touch linger, ignoring the curious stare from his friend Jace.

And after a moment you finally pull away first and immediately limp towards the man with your rifle to yank it off his body. “Fucker,” you grimace before you spit on his face. You then grab your holster belt off the ground and hook back it on your hip, before picking up your cloak off the ground that is now ripped. Great.

Whatever, it can still work.

You throw it over your shoulder and turn to face the direction you had come from.

“Gimme a minute,” you tell the guys and don’t wait for them to say anything before you limp towards Austin.

“Hey, it’s not really safe out there!” You hear Jace shout.

You nod. “Yep!” You yell back. “But you’re gonna help me right?!” You retort.

“I..I guess?!”

You scoff in amusement and notice that they keep their distance, but don’t leave, they just keep their distance and respect what you want.

Once you reach your dog your eyes well with tears, and you fall on your knees by his body.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him as you reach your hand over to close his eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn't get you home. You were good though,” you whisper and slowly caress his side like he liked. “You were a good boy till the end.”

You press your head down against him and muster a wobbly smile. “Ima go home soon, okay? I promise. Rest easy buddy.” You press a kiss on his head and slide your hand over to his neck to untie his orange bandana from his neck and wrap it around your wrist.

——

*LATER*

“So new girl…” a young girl that’s a part of the group says. “Tell us where are you from? I can’t place your accent.”

You look up from the fire burning away the logs and meet her blue gaze.

“Austin Texas,” you reveal. After all, the group you were brought to has been nice so far. And most of them are young, except for the little boy, Sam. There are some older people amongst them, but as Jace helped you patch your leg up he said that most of the adults left when the military left too, leaving behind those they thought wouldn’t survive by themselves.

“Of course that was my home before the outbreak, I’m now from Wyoming, a small town called Jackson.”

You’re hesitant to tell them about your community, about all you have back home. No matter how nice they are you still can’t bring yourself to fully trust them. It’s just a survival instinct.

Then again Jackson is still far, most of them won’t survive the journey. Actually maybe none of them…maybe not even you will.

“A camp?” Jace probes.

You drop your gaze from the girl with red blazing hair that actually called herself Blaze, and hesitate a moment before you nod slowly. “Something like that,” you avoid telling the truth.

If there was one thing you liked about what Joel taught you, it was this, be cautious with strangers. Albeit you also won’t be cold to them forever like he was with people, with time as your leg heals up you’ll watch them, and if they’re actually good enough to these new world standards, then you’ll take after your uncle Tommy and be nice.

“What are you doing all the way out here then?” Henry cuts in, causing you to lift your eyes to look at him across the campfire, and catching him using his hand to also….talk.

“If you’re all the way from Wyoming what are you doing here in Kansas City?” He asks and keeps moving his hands like he was communicating in sign language, like, from the books you’ve read about it.

You scoff and shrug. “I felt…rebellious I suppose,” you begin to smirk. “I wanted to see the country, I saw it, and now I’m on my way back home.”

“Must be nice…” you identify Blaze interjecting. Yet before you can look over at her, you drift your eyes and notice Sam paying close attention to what Henry was signing—actually now that you think about it he hasn't been talking whatsoever.

He probably can’t.

“…having a place to call home, and to go back too.”

“Yeah man,” Jace bounces off Blaze’s comment, pulling your eyes to him sitting beside you. “I don't know why you’d leave.”

Besides, what you just told them, there were also…other reasons, but you won’t share those with them.

You sigh and smile softly at the ground. “I’ll tell you what I told my uncle and my mama Maria…I don’t know when I’m going to die…it might be tomorrow, next week or years from now, it will happen though, and I don’t just want to know these walls, I need to live for myself, not be protected all the time…I want to see the ugly and the beautiful, know it before I die.”

You look up as you finish speaking and the first gaze you catch is Henry’s. The fire reflects the softness in his eyes, yet you catch the admiration he has for your words, you can’t read that.

“Well shit,” a older Asian man says. “When you put it that way.”

You briefly glance at the man and scoff softly.

“No fireflies for you then?” Jace asks.

You shake your head. “Nope. I’ve been away from home for far too long. My family is waiting,” you sigh.

Fuck.

“My camp is pretty big,” you begin to say regardless of your previous caution. “It’s strong, y’all can come with me if y’all want.” You look at the six people gathered around the campfire and continue. “I know we can take y’all in. There’s more kids,” you mention and look at Sam and Henry. “Food. Power…”

The people around shift in their seats at the sound of your comment, and their eyes widen.

“It’s far from here, but together we’ll be strong,” you finish. “Think about it. Once my leg is all healed I’m leavin’.” You glance around the group again, and now neither of them say anything, there are hopeful looks. It's especially noticeable in Sam's eyes, but they all ponder your invitation.

Then again it is a big risk.

However, it’s the thinking they fall into that leaves the group silent and kinda awkward. Thankfully Blaze breaks it once she can’t take it.

“It’s almost lights out, why don’t we finish with a story?” She looks around, but no one volunteers.

Now you are pretty tired, but this, telling stories is your thing.

“I can go,” you offer and sit up with a growing smile. “Now, I don’t like to toot my own horn…”

You do.

“…but I do produce and act in my own plays back at home, so.” You grin. “I’ll go.”

You clear your own throat and look around at all the faces once before starting. “It is about home, so if you are thinking of comin’ with me, think hard,” you say dramatically. “There’s stories of something, shadows and creepy crawlers that people call Skinwalkers that lurk in the woods. I never believed it, but once when I was out on patrol with my uncle at night, as I was looking through my scope I saw the trees move.” You lick your lips and lower your voice.

“I zoomed in, but nothin’, no infected, no person, just nothin’. I told my uncle, but when he looked nothin’. Thinkin’ it was just my own mind I kept patrolling…until suddenly right. By. My ear there’s a whisper…y/n,” you whisper and lean your face closer to the fire. “I called out, thinkin’ it was my uncle Tommy, but he looks at me like I was crazy and says, I didn’t call you,” you mock his voice.

“I didn't believe him, he likes to play jokes with me,” you continue in your voice and look around at all the amused faces. “Yet I didn’t say anything back, I shrugged it off and kept doing my job. It was quiet for a few seconds, but that’s when I felt a chill crawling up my neck. It was summer, it was warm at night, so it wasn’t because I was cold, it was somethin’ else, somethin’ blowing on my neck. I look back,” you say and act it out. “Nothin’. I look ahead and there in the woods are red eyes staring right back at me.” You scoff and swallow thickly, pretending to be frightened yourself.

“I grab my rifle and look through the scope but nothin’, it’s clear. At this point,” you say and shake your head. “I get close to my uncle, but I don’t tell him anything. I keep lookin’, and as I lower that scope there they are again, bright, blazing red eyes, closer now. And again…y/n—I shake my head, close my eyes, rub em’, and when I open them they’re closer, that chill wraps my entire body now.”

Jace beside you swallows thickly from fear, while Blaze looks unaffected, but you can see her fear make her go rigid. The older people don’t seem bothered but they are entertained, and Henry seems unfazed, Sam however, looks invested.

All their reactions make you happy.

“….I quickly look through my scope, I need to check it out, make sure I’m not goin’ crazy, but I hear my name again, by my ear, a whisper, the voice of my sister who’s been gone a long time….” You swallow thickly and shed a fake tear. “I begin to shake, I want to turn to my uncle, but all I can do is tremble, I can’t move my head. I can’t speak. My gun falls….and there…right in front of me is…is…” you prolong the end as they’re all holding their breaths, and grab a pinch of gunpowder from your pocket to throw it to the fire.

“Nothin’!” You exclaim as the fire sparks and the flames jump up, making some people gasp and others laugh nervously. They all jumped though, you saw it.

Yet when you look ahead, there’s a smile from Sam. Even if he jumped too, he grins.

Henry notices his brother's gesture and scoffs in disbelief before he looks back at you and meets your gaze with a soft smile, and that same soft gaze.

“Don’t worry,” you say and then meet Sam's gaze with an assuring smile. “It’s not real. I’m scared shitless of night patrols so I avoid them,” you chuckle. “So please do consider coming with me. If my uncle hears I spooked y’all away, I’ll get scolded for sure.” You sit back and pat Jace’s shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

“That was a good one,” he mutters nervously.

You look over at him and smile brightly. “Why thank you. I love to hear that.”

“Okay, well thank you,” an older woman interjects. “I for one loved that shift in the atmosphere you brought darling. We needed it.”

You offer her a soft smile and bow your head as a thank you.

“Now it’s light out, Henry, you have night shift today,” the lady continues. “Sam can stay with me. I'll keep an eye out on him tonight.”

Henry gets up and nods in agreement. He then turns to say something to his brother, and Sam seems to look hesitant, but he gives in and stays as Henry begins to walk away.

“Henry!” Jace calls out and shoots up.

Said man stops and peers back to wait for what his friend was going to say.

“Why don’t you take the new girl.” Jace suggests.

What?

You look around in confusion.

“Show her how things are done,” Jace continues and grabs your arm to force you up to your feet, adding a sharp pain to your leg where your wound is. “Y’know so she can pull her own weight until she leaves.”

You sigh, but catch Henry glance at you before he directs you his next word. “Only if you want. You’re hurt, you can rest.”

It’s a new place, surrounded by strangers, you’ll go in your tent but you won’t sleep, so…fuck it. Besides your mind and heart are pushing you to accept.

“Fuck it,” you respond and pull away from Jace. “I’ll go with you. I won’t sleep anyway.”

You peek over at Jace and catch him smirking. He then notices your stare and just offers you a simple tightlipped smile. If you didn’t know better, you might say he’s up to something…

Hm.

You grab your rifle and backpack from the ground and catch up to Henry as he waits for you where he stopped.

“It isn’t far,” he mutters and puts his hands in his pockets as he continues walking with you at his side. “And there are definitely no skinwalkers, so you don’t have to worry.”

You chuckle and nod softly. “‘Kay,” you say and play along. “Thats a fuckin’ relief.”

Henry scoffs softly and briefly glances at you from the corner of his eyes as you take this time, this short silence to then admire the starry sky.

“So,” you interject in the silence and blink to look at Henry. “Tell me, why stay here? In Kansas City, and so close to those hunters too.”

Henry sighs deeply and shrugs, “we’ve been waiting. It’s not so simple with infected, people. Besides, it's not easy finding fireflies.”

You scoff and nod in agreement. “I’ve heard the groups are becoming less and less now. But,” you utter with hope. “You and Sam are welcome to come with me, I have everything mapped out, it isn’t far anymore, we’ll make it there quickly, and with luck we’ll make it there safely.”

Henry hums and makes a soft left turn towards a run down treehouse. “Up here,” he points.

As you approach the steps nailed to the tree you stop and put your hands on your hips as you slowly look up in pain.

“I can give you a boost,” Henry offers. “You shouldn’t put weight on your leg.”

You let out a small sigh and blink to meet his gaze. “I can do it,” you assure him stubbornly, and filled with pride. “Just hold this,” you say and slide your rifle off your shoulder to hand it to him.

Henry takes it and just as he was going to try and argue against you, you rub your hands together first and then grab onto the new slabs of wood that don't match the tree house whatsoever. You then lift your uninjured leg and let the other one just dangle as you strain to push yourself up. Henry folds his arms over his chest and watches you struggle after refusing his help.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

You nod and silence your pained groan. And finally after a few more seconds manage to slap your hands on the floor, and use all your upper strength to pull yourself up. It hurts, it hurts like a bitch, but you get on and turn to look down at Henry with a smile.

“Made it.” You let him know and wink at him, catching him scoff in annoyance before he begins to climbs on, causing you to crawl back to look out the carved window. That’s when you ignore your pain, as you see the blades of grass flowing by the chilly breeze, when you see the glimmer of the moon's light reflect on those green blades. That’s when you just take a moment to enjoy the song of the crickets below.

If you weren’t out here looking out for infected, and people, you’d say it was blissfully peaceful. But you can’t say so.

“I always wanted a treehouse,” you share when you hear Henry climb inside. “My daddy was building me one actually. He and my uncle would build it on their days off, but then,” you sigh sadly. “It happened and I never got it.”

“I had one,” Henry deadpans as he sits next to you.

You roll your eyes to the side, and catch his smirk. “Lucky,” you remark. “What else did you have?”

He begins to smirk and places your rifle down against the window. “A nintendo. It was red, gorgeous. Got it for my 5th birthday. I had that sucker for a few weeks and then bam, had to leave it behind.”

“Sucks,” you whisper. “My sister wanted one too. She never got though, my daddy said she had no use for that kinda stuff.” You scoff and smile softly. “He probably would’ve gotten it for her though, he was a sucker.”

Henry nods slowly and averts his gaze to watch the field ahead. “Was? Is…your dad gone?”

You shrug. “I don’t know,” you mutter. “Last time I heard of him was two years ago before I left. I haven’t heard a thing since. Knowing how he is though, he’s probably still out there, livin’.”

“Sister?” Henry asks.

Perhaps before, years ago, speaking about Sarah would’ve hurt, it would make you sob, but now…as a 24 year old, her death doesn’t tear you down as it once did. Her death does ache you, you’ll always miss your sister, you eagerly wait to see her again one day, but speaking her name, sharing memories doesn’t hurt as badly anymore.

“She passed a long time ago,” you share and drag your uninjured leg up to your chest to rest your chin on your knee. “The day of the outbreak.”

Henry swallows thickly and mumbles, “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine losing a sibling. I can’t imagine losing Sam. I’m sorry.”

You drift your eyes over to him and offer him an assuring smile. “It happened a long time ago, I’ve moved on. Sometimes I’m grateful she didn't get to know this new world,” you continue and look up at the white shining moon. “But when I miss her, when I really miss her, I wish she had lived just to be with me. So I admire you Henry…”

Said man snaps his eyes over to you, and you catch his eyes squint slightly in confusion.

“I know I haven’t known you long,” you continue. “But I admire you for looking out for your little brother.” You begin to smile, and catch his look of disbelief. “I’m the youngest sibling too, so trust me that little boy looks up to you. You treat him well.”

Henry scoffs and nods softly. “I always will. Sam is all I have in this world,” he shares quietly. “I can’t lose him.”

You let out a small breath and leave it at that.

The silence that follows is short, not awkward, it is tension filled but not awkward. He uses the silence to look out for danger, and you use it to think about Joel.

It’s been a long time since you’ve heard about him, but it’s been even longer since you’ve actually seen him. Too long perhaps…

God you should have visited him when you passed Boston….

Sarah would be so mad that it’s been years.

At least you like to think she’d be upset, the sad truth is you hardly knew how your sister really was, all you know was what she showed you; caring, sweet, funny, smart, pretty. Perhaps she’d be mad at him too, perhaps not….You’d never know….

“So, tell me now,” Henry cuts you off from your train of thought. “What do you have in your town?”

You draw in a deep breath and focus on the field. “A lot,” you breathe out. “We have schools, good schools, not those crap military schools. We have…uh,” you begin to smile. “Bars, shops, horses, hot water, chickens and a greenhouse. We have movie nights, and parties,” you grin and lift your head off your knee to turn around and face him. “And of course my plays, which I produce and write myself, it’s always a full house,” you show off with a smug smirk. “And a lot of people our age…I mean,” you stammer and squint your eyes on him. “How old are you?”

Henry meets your gaze and answers without hesitation, “25. What about you?”

You smile. “24. So,” you continue sharing stuff about Jackson. “There’s people our age. Boys, girls,” you wiggle your eyebrows, making him smile and scoff in amusement. “Whatever you're into. We got our own houses,” you grin. “I mean I got my own house. With my guitars, my clothes, which I do miss,” you grin. “And music, I got a record player, cassettes. So you got that to look forward to, your own house. For you,” you say softly now. “And for Sam.”

Henry lowers his gaze and his smile fades. “It’s tempting, it sounds like…heaven almost.”

“I wouldn’t call if that,” you interject and keep your eyes on him.

“Still,” he continues. “It’s tempting. I mean a school for my brother, other kids he can actually be friends with instead of just talking to me,” he scoffs softly. “A place of our own. A community…girls,” he teases and meets your gaze.

You roll your eyes, but can’t help your faint smile from tugging on your lips.

“You don’t have to decide now,” you assure him. “Think about it.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I want to go. It’s better than taking ourselves to the fireflies, I mean we’ll always be moving with them, at least with you,” he says and holds your gaze with a soft look that makes your heart begin to beat faster. “We can sort of have something stable, even if it’s just for a little while….let me just see the others off and I’ll go with you. That is…if you’ll wait for me?”

You offer him a soft smile and nod softly. “I would,” you mutter softly.

Henry mirrors your smile, and for a moment, for a moment that seemed to go on for eternity, it was just him and you under the moonlight's hue, in the silence of the night, two beating hearts, two pairs of desire-filled gazes.

Your uncle Tommy found someone, why can’t you? Why shouldn’t you?

You deserve some taste of bliss.

“So,” you break the tension and slide your backpack off your shoulders. “You wanna listen to some of my music or what. I got some sick tunes.” You snicker at yourself and unzip your backpack to pull out a Walkman littered with stupid stickers, and black earphones. “We’ll listen to it low so we don’t miss anything,” you assure him and show off your things to Henry.

“But if it is bad,” he says and grabs an earphone to put it in his ear. “I will make fun of you.”

“Trust me,” you say confidently. “You won’t. But do keep in mind I had to leave a lot of my cassettes behind.” You press play and the first song that plays is ‘Time After Time’ by Cyndi Lauper.

Once she begins to sing, Henry immediately stifles his laugh.

“What?” You quip. “You don’t like it? I think it’s great,” you trail off and listen to the song with a smile, as soon as the chorus begins to play though, you snap your head to the side and begin mouthing along to the words.

Henry snorts and shakes his head. “You truly are something,” he comments. “How do you do It?”

You roll your head to his side and just answer bluntly. “I choose not to live a boring life.” You scoff in amusement and lick your lips to answer more seriously. “This outbreak took so much already, I can’t let it take me. Who I am.” You meet his gaze and sigh. “That’s all I have.”

Henry smiles softly and nods. “I admire you then. For that.”

You scoff and roll your head to the other side to hide how flustered you are.

You then sit in silence to listen to the song. When the next song plays however, it’s a song called by Outkast, Henry is going to comment on it, but before he can, you both hear footsteps approaching, and stiffen.

It’s coming from inside the perimeter, so you don’t quickly pull your rifle to you, but you do reach for your holstered blade, whilst Henry takes his earphone off and stands up to peek down the entrance of the treehouse.

You grab the edge of the window to pull yourself, but just as you were trying, Henry’s shoulders fall and he quickly throws you a comment, “it’s okay, it’s just Sam.”

Since you can’t move that much you just sit back down and put a pause on your music.

Once the little boy climbs in, his eyes find you, but he quickly looks back at his brother as he begins to sign to him.

“What are you doing up here?” Henry asks out loud as he communicates with his hands.

The little boy lets out a small breath and responds back, causing Henry to translate.

“Miss Daphne was snoring already. It’s early I wanted to come keep you company.”

You scoff softly at the response, finding it sweet.

“I have company,” Henry responds and then points at you before he signs letters—he signs your name, you know that much. “Y/N. You should be sleeping.”

The boy shrugs, and responds.

“Later,” Henry translates before he sighs and gives in to what the boy wants.

“You are very welcome to join us and stare at nothing, Sam,” you say and look at him, seeing Henry translate for you.

Sam's eyes drift to you, and you recognize the thank you sign he gives you. He then goes and sits at Henry’s other side as Henry takes his seat again.

“So,” you add. “If I wanted to get his attention, how would I do that?” You ask Henry.

“Tap his shoulder,” he shares and translates what he says since Sam is watching. “He can read lips, so just make sure to talk slowly and face him when you want to talk to him….thank you for asking.”

“Of course,” you nod.

Sam then begins to sign something as he meets your gaze. And once he’s done Henry translates.

“He’s curious to know how you’re brave to travel alone.”

You scoff softly and correct him. “I wasn’t alone,” you say sa you face Sam, while Henry translates. “I had friends, and my dog, Austin. But…” you sigh sadly. “They’re gone now.”

“Still,” you hear Henry say for Sam. “You were alone, I don’t think I could be that brave.”

You offer the boy an assuring smile and share your truth. “I was scared. I am scared, but you know what keeps me brave?” You ask rhetorically. “When I feel lost, when I feel scared, I look for hope. I look for the light. Because that’s all we have, if we’re not brave, hopeful, we lose, and we’re not losers, are we?”

Sam smiles and shakes his head.

“Good,” you tell him and briefly meet Henry’s gaze.

However, you then get an idea and jerk up.

“But,” you add. “You know what also helps…” you trail off and take off your chain necklace to carefully pull out your Uncle Tommy’s pendants and leave one of yours hanging from it.

“This,” you continue. “And drag yourself a bit closer to both boys. “This is my firefly pendant, when I feel scared, I hold my uncle's pendant and it helps. So whenever you feel scared, just hold it in your hands, okay?” You push the chain necklace towards Sam, but he first looks to his brother for reassurance to check if it’s okay.

And Henry first looks at you. “Are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. “I’m sure,” assure them. “I have another one. And I have my uncles with me, that’s all I need.”

Sam looks at the pendant and carefully takes the chain from your hand. He admires the firefly emblem for a second before he smiles and puts it around his neck. He then looks back up at you and grins as he once again gives you his thanks.

This time however he adds a comment. “I like you,” Henry translates.

You shoot him a smile and shrug smugly. “Thank you, you boost my ego.” You giggle and catch Henry’s gaze on you, it glimmers under the moonlight, and his smile softens before he mouths to you.

“Thank you.”

You offer him a sweet smile before you look out as the room falls silent again.

And as you watch the grass flow, as you sit under the moonlight and glance at the stars, Henry watches you for a lingering moment with a longing gaze before he pulls his jacket off and puts it on your shoulders.

You get surprised by the weight, but feel your heart flutter when you realize what he did.

“You’ll get cold,” he whispers.

You have a jacket and a warm poncho packed, but he’s being sweet, plus you like his gesture; it’s like something you’ve seen done in movies—And you like seeing his smile when you don’t turn down his gesture.

You deserve a taste of bliss. Someone to call your own, like how your uncle Tommy has Maria.

You deserve it and nothing can get in the way of it. Of what you’re feeling for him. What you want to happen. Nothing.

.

.

.

.

A/N- Before you ask yes Joel still has the drawing y/n drew him….AND one more thing…how do you think she’ll react when she sees her dad after years and sees Ellie with him?

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x daughter!reader #Joel miller #Joel tlou #joel miller fanfiction #Joel fanfiction #Sarah tlou #sarah miller #Tommy miller #Tommy tlou #henry tlou x fem!reader #Henry x fem!reader #Henry tlou #Sam tlou #Sam #chapter 1 #tlou x reader #Ellie tlou #angst #daughter reader

[damn-stark]

Chapter 6 Precious girl’s

Tragedy at the Miller’s chapter 6

A/N- We’re close to the end

Warning- ANGST, swearing, blood and wounds, violence, long chapter, fluff :) and talks of suicide

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, OC x fem!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x08 & (part of) 1x09

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

*Crunch. Crunch.*

“Come on…”

*Crunch. Crunch.*

There’s no one out of the house yet, but the stupid rope around your legs and hands isn’t coming off.

“Stupid. AGH.”

*Crunch—*

There’s a falter in the person's approaching footsteps, so you peer back and this time see some grimy man under the door looking at you trying to take off your restraints.

Fuck. Fuck!

Trying to leave with both restraints tied around you wouldn’t get you anywhere so you continue to try and take off the restraints you have around your ankles, while the man runs at you to try and stop you. Which is really a waste of time on his part considering David wanted to kill you. Then again it is really fucking convivent for you that the man decided to spare you for whatever sick fucking reason. YET! You can’t get the restraints off no matter how much you mess with the rope.

“Come on! Come on!” You yell at the rope as it refuses to get off. And nevertheless the man reaches you before the rope can loosen and kicks you down to the ground.

“You aren't going anywhere,” he grumbles and climbs over you, causing you to cry out and tense.

Fear hits you, complete terror that threatens to paralyze you under the dirty man, heart racing panic grows out of the thought of what he was capable of doing as you’re restrained; as his nasty rancid breath swept over your nose and his sweat dripped down on your own sweat covered face. Especially as his eyes darkened as he studied your face.

“Let me go!” You bellow and try to drag yourself back, but he suddenly lays his fingertips on your waist, making your breath hitch and your body freeze.

Rather than being unable to move, pure raging adrenaline strikes you and let’s you swing your hands up his jaw. The man yelps and lifts his hands off you to grab his offended area, so you then don’t fret and pull your legs back and muster enough strength to kick his groin.

The musty man falls back and groans in protest, and out of a desperate attempt you begin to crawl away since your weapons were swiped. Which is why the man ignores his pain and flips around on his stomach to grab your legs and drag you back towards him.

You shriek and quickly hit him back rapidly until he lets you go when he can’t handle anymore hits. And luckily when you were kicking and he was pulling, you managed to loosen your restraints enough on your ankles that the man actually slipped them off when he was pulling, letting you push yourself to your feet.

Instead of running off back to the house you spin around on your heels with the thought to beat the man up and demand him to tell you where they took Ellie, but as you turn to face him you actually see…your dad, it’s actually him, limping and grabbing at his wounded side. And it’s the most heart-warming and reassuring sight, he doesn’t fail to erase all that fear you had just felt.

Furthermore, your dad storms over and kicks the man down with fury. Even once the man is laying back your dad stomps down on the man’s groin before using a rifle that isn’t his to knock out the man that had antagonized you.

“Daddy,” you gasp as you study him in disbelief.

Said man snaps his head towards you and immediately drops the anger that was painted on his features to look at you with a soft look before approaching you.

“Daddy,” you breathe out with a wobbly smile as you finally fully comprehend that he isn’t some vision. “But,” you mumble and look down at his side, catching that his shirt was stained with old blood, but nothing else since he does have his wound covered. “How?”

Your dad closes the gap between you to loosen the restraints off your wrists. “I don’t know how,” he mutters. “I heard Ellie and you and I just knew I couldn’t stay on my ass anymore.”

You let out a breathless chuckle and then look up at his face with a relieved smile. “I thought I almost lost you. I was so scared.”

He manages to rip the rope off your wrists and then snaps his eyes up to meet your gaze. “Not yet.” He says and cups your cheek to turn your head to the side to focus on something on your face. “They cut your cheek but luckily missed your eye.”

With all the panic and fear you didn’t even feel the pain on your face until he pointed it out.

“You’ll be okay,” he assures you and then tilts your head again to meet your gaze. “Did he hurt you in any other way?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No, no,” you tell him.

He lets out a relieved sigh, and you can actually see his shoulders slightly untense before he pulls you in for a surprising embrace that you quickly melt into.

The need to cry grows in the comfort of his arms but there’s one concern that doesn’t let you actually relax, so you pull back but keep your hands on his arms as you face him with anguish. “I’m sorry,” you mewl out. “I’m sorry…I was only trying to help but I lost her,” you ramble out from actual regret and worry, but also an already rooted fear that begins to regrow, making you tense under his hold. “It should’ve been me, I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to go that way. I was just trying to help you…” you trail off as you drop your head.

“Hey, hey,” he calls for your attention and lifts your head so you can once again face him. “I understand. I do. It’s not your fault….”

Your breath hitches and tears now roll out of your eyes at the sound of those exact words.

“Just help me find her. I…” he pauses and glances down, you follow his line of gaze and catch him looking at his wound. “I need your help.”

You sniffle and meet his gaze to nod quickly without hesitation.

“Do you know where they took her?” He asks.

You shake your head. “No, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assures you. “There’s another way we can find out,” he explains and looks over at the man he had knocked out. “There’s another one of them around here. He should be coming around soon, come.” He let’s go of you so you can follow him to hide behind a fence.

You wait for the other man then, but not for long just like he had said.

“Timothy?” The man calls out for his friend and unknowingly passes your dad and you as he walks in the yard. Once the man spots his friend's limb body on the ground he stops, making you grab your dads rifle and stand up from your crouched position.

“Oh, shit,” the man mutters and walks closer to check on his friend. You quietly sneak towards him and slowly begin to raise the rifle.

Somehow the man seems to feel your presence, or manages to catch you from the corner of his eye so he turns his head and catches you approaching him. Before he can move though you bring down the end of the rifle on his face and knock him out.

“This is what’s gonna happen,” your dad interjects as he pulls away from his previous spot.

You hum to press him while you snatch your backpack off the man that had you; Timothy.

“We’re going to take the two of ‘em, and make sure they’re not facing each other to question—”

“Oh,” you cut him off as you take back your pistol, knife, and lastly snatch back your rifle and both of the men’s bullets as well. Which they had plenty of. “It’s uncle Tommy’s method, yeah?” You turn and face your dad now standing near you. You knew all about that considering you’ve witnessed it multiple times, and done it by yourself once.

Your dad nods and doesn’t waste time to grab the feet of the man you just knocked out. “Grab him by his arms,” he tells you.

You step over Timothy to grab the other man’s arms and help your dad take him inside and tie him up against the wall. After that you proceed to bring Timothy in and tie him up against a chair, all before he could gain consciousness again—Which actually turns out to be quite a hassle since you don’t have time to wait for them to wake up.

Now torture wasn’t something you enjoyed doing, or were proud of, you made sure to avoid it when you could and rely on other tatics. But there are some moments that can only be solved with violence, and a coldness in your persona that you didn’t enjoy demonstrating.

Then again Timothy nor his cult of creeps deserved any kind of soft approach. Which is why it’s easy to shove snow in his face to force him to wake up from his slumber.

“Wha-Where the hell am I?” He yells out and begins to squirm under his restraints.

You walk up behind him to grab a cluster of his oily hair and yank his head up so he can see your dad in front of him.

“You!” Timothy sneers. “You’re that bastard that killed Alec.”

Your dad narrows his glare on him and ignores his comment to get right to the point. “Where’s the girl your friends took?”

Timothy tries to turn his head to look back, but you turn his head back to only face your dad. “I don’t know no girl,” he spats out.

Your dads eyes bounce to you to raise his eyebrow and tilt his head up slightly to share a speechless ‘your turn’.

You smirk and let the man go to slowly stride around him. When you’re in front of him you crouch down so he can meet your gaze. “Really?” You query with feigned curiosity. “You, know no girl?” You shoot him a smirk that makes his scowl falter—“I don’t quite believe you. Tell us again,” you press him one more time. “Where’s the girl David took?”

Timothy scoffs and shakes his head, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Oh well isn’t he a damn good gaslighter? Fuck him.

From one second to the next your dad then walks over and swings his fist across the man’s face, landing a harsh right hook that makes you flicker your eyes away. Yet you don’t stay looking away, as the man refuses to answer, you watch as your dad violently throws one punch after the other until he can’t handle the pain on his side and steps back, but meets your gaze.

He doesn’t need to say anything for you to know that he wants you to continue hitting the man, he was still silent after all.

“I’ll ask again,” you interject as you step towards Timothy in hopes he’d give in this time. “Where is she?”

There’s no glance, or groan, there was nothing so you clench your hand and swing your fist, landing blow after blow. Each time tapping more and more into your anger over losing Ellie, and what this man wanted to do to you before your dad came.

There even came a point that it felt like you were blinded in some moments, but not because you enjoy it and get lost in the moment, but because even if there were reasons for the use of this violence, actually having to use it wasn’t something you enjoyed doing. You just have to mask that distaste well so the target won’t see you falter. And it’s because of that same dislike why you hoped the man would give in and spill the truth, but no, he keeps denying.

“Leave him alone,” the other man’s voice cuts in from the ground, startling you a bit.

You snap your eyes to the man and form a smirk on your face to intimidate him as you throw Timothy one last punch.

“You’re next,” your dad says and pulls his knife out, making you let out a deep breath and step back.

“Please,” Timothy begs now that the knife is pulled out. “I don’t know any girl.” He shakes his head.

You scoff and glance down at your raw and red bleeding knuckles and only catch the sound of your dad stabbing the knife in Timothy’s flesh instead of actually seeing it.

“Oh, fuck!” Timothy cries out.

“Jesus!” The other man complains, causing you to fist your hands before crossing your arms over your chest to then look up at the bloody scene.

“Marco,” Timothy groans and tries lolls his head back, but your dad quickly grabs him by the hair as he interjects.

“No-no, no-no-no,” your dad mutters and pushes the man’s head back to face him. “He can’t help you. You focus right here. Or I’ll pop your fuckin’ kneecap off.” He shakes his head and presses one more time. “Okay?”

“She’s…” Timothy begins to say between raspy breaths. “She’s alive.”

You feel your eyes brighten as you grow curious. “Where?” You ask and step forward.

However, Timothy hesitates to answer, making your dad twist the knife in the man’s knee. “She asked you a question,” your dad spats and only twists the knife more. “Where?”

“Ah, fuck! Fuck! Ah, the town!”

“What town?!” Your dad bellows.

“Silver Lake,” Timothy answers between pants.

Your dad lets Timothy go now, only making him cry out again. When your dad pulls out the map he had in his pocket, Timothy interjects.

“It’s not a real town name. It’s a resort.”

“A resort?” Your dad questions as if in disbelief to what was said.

And when Timothy doesn’t answer your dad pulls the knife out of his knee, causing him to yell. Your dad takes advantage of that and sticks the end of the knife in Timothy’s mouth.

“You’re gonna point to where we are,” your dad says as he gets the map close to the man. “And where your “resort” is. And it better be the exact same spot your buddy points to.”

“Okay,” Timothy mutters, and doesn’t hesitate now that he’s in pain and scared to point to where your dad said. Once he’s done he spits the knife out, letting your dad take the map whilst Timothy interjects. “That’s where we are.”

Nevertheless, your dad shows you the map and the bloody points Timothy marked down. “This look right to you?”

You squint your eyes and sigh. “David did say it was 2 miles away from here.” You confirm.

“I swear it’s right,” Timothy mutters. “Go ask him. He’ll tell you. I’m not lying.”

Only seconds later your dad catches Timothy off guard and stabs the knife in his stomach, making the other man now protest out of fear.

“No, no!”

Once again you mask your dislike well and look over at him to smirk. And that only makes the man more distressed.

“Shit! Jesus! No!”

Your dad lets go of the knife once Timothy is dead and now heads to the other man.

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” The man yells out. “He told you what you wanted!”

While your dad approaches the other man he first picks up a metal pipe before closing that gap.

“You motherfucker!” The man snaps. “Fuck you. I ain’t tellin’ you shit.”

“It’s okay,” your dad assures him. “I believe him.”

“No, no.”

Your dad lifts up the pipe and then violently swings down, bringing the man to death with one mighty swing.

“Are you okay?” Your dad immediately asks and throws the pipe aside to turn and face you.

You rip your eyes away from the now dead man and nod. “Yeah, just bloody knuckles that’s all,” you mutter and instead walk up to him to check on his wound. “What about you? Is it bleeding?” You ask, and let him lift his shirts to show you his wound.

“Given that they’re shitty stitches,” he says and glances down. “No.”

You narrow your gaze on the wound since you don’t want to touch it with your bloody and dirty hands, and just make sure that he really isn’t bleeding before you leave.

“Okay,” you mumble. “Looks good.” You step back and point to the door. “Let’s go.”

Now to tread through mountains of untouched snow, to witness as the cloudy sky darkened and sent a heavy blizzard that nipped at your uncovered face, and at your fingertips; that made seeing even beyond just a few feet impossible, and made walking that much harder already since your dad could hardly move. You know he was only keeping strong because of Ellie, because of you.

It’s very bad to admit but your dad and you were just navigating by pure instinct. Eventually there was some clearing as stationed cars came to view.

“We must be close!” You yell out over the wind so you can be heard.

Your dad drifts his squinted eyes to you and nods. “Yeah! Keep your eyes open for any lookouts!”

You nod and pick up your pace to walk ahead, you proceed to shield your eyes with your hand first before you slowly lift your head up more to look around for any gleam of a scoop, some kind of suspicious makeshift building, some kind of tower, or people. But there’s nothing.

Until finally there’s houses that you come across. Even then there’s no one, not even surprise attacks, besides the howl of the wind it’s quiet. It should be rather suspicious actually, considering that you also don’t come across any walls either, but then again after remembering that David couldn’t truly keep his people safe, just walking in without struggle wasn’t so surprising. The only problem you face now is figuring out where Ellie might be because the farther you walk in, the more buildings you see.

You can only hope she’s still alive, that creepy David hasn’t hurt her in any way, or that her bite mark hasn’t been revealed. You hoped that you’d hear something, gunshots even, something that’d lead you to her through all this mess. But there continues to be nothing.

Eventually after more walking, your dad grabs your arm to stop you. When you turn to face him he points to some kind of shop at your side, so you follow him but come to see that he immediately leans against the wall for a break….

What if it’s his heart?

“Are you okay?” You ask him and grab his arm as you face him.

He snaps his eyes to you and nods between pants. “I’m fine, I just—” he suddenly stops and his eyes focus on something behind you. You quickly follow his line of gaze and notice a blood trail lead inside the building. Can it be…Ellie’s blood?

It better not. It better not.

Before you can double check with your dad about walking in you turn on your heels and hurry to the door. You spot a lock so you don’t hesitate to break it to be able to walk into the dark room, your dad follows you in and closes the door behind you, welcoming darkness and some kind of warmth; also letting the metallicy smell of blood bombard your nose. Once you both turn your flashlights on you come to recognize that it’s a storage room of some kind; to the side there’s packets on shelves, and past that theirs bundled up clothes and backpacks on a shelf; one that your dad and you quickly recognize at the same time. Yet you don’t want to accept it at first.

There’s just…hard insinuations behind why Ellie’s backpack isn’t with her, all ones that make your guilt heighten as you can’t help but think of the worst.

“It’s hers,” your dad confirms what you tried to deny as he pulls the backpack out of the shelf.

You sigh and swallow thickly. That fucker better not have killed her, he better not have touched her.

“There’s more past there,” your dad breaks the silence and breaks your train of thought to make you follow where he’s pointing his flashlight to, another room behind a glass wall.

This time your dad slowly leads the way to the back room which remains quiet, you look around and try to hear if there can be additional footsteps, but there’s just your dad and you.

Once you’re able to walk into the back room you can’t help but let out a shocked gasp as the first things you see are the horses you came with dead on the floor.

“Come on,” your dad makes sure to pull your attention away from the horses by leading you ahead to find the exit.

Albeit just as he takes a few steps ahead he immediately comes to a sudden stop that you almost miss.

“What’s wrong—” you begin to proclaim, but stop the moment you look past the stacked canoes and catch what made him stop.

“Y/N,” your dad says and steps in front of you. “Don’t look, baby.”

Too late, he was too late to stop you from witnessing the gruesome sight of those headless bodies hanging from the ceiling. He was too late.

Regardless now if he blocked your view you still cover your mouth and shut your eyes. You gag and feel nothing but pure terror. Never in your past years of living through this apocalypse have you…come across uninfected people that…eat other people. Never.

Is that what they wanted to do with you? Is that what they want to do to—No. No, no. You won’t let it happen.

“She,” you mutter out as you move your hand off your mouth and open your eyes away from where the bodies are. “She’s probably not far, come on,” you urge your dad and walk ahead to get away from the gruesome scene.

The moment you walk outside though, the blizzard is worse and the snow is only thicker, obscuring your view that much more. However, even with the drifting wind you can still catch the smell of a nearby fire.

Maybe it’s her? It smells too much for it to be some chimney fire. So without hesitation you follow the smell, and your dad follows you without question.

Luckily you keep not running into any sort of trouble, it makes the resort almost seem abandoned. Plus the further you continue to follow the smell of smoke, the stronger it gets, and the further your heart sinks to your stomach out of concern that Ellie was caught in whatever fire is burning close by.

What would happen if you lost her too?

You can’t even think of the possibility. You ignore that thought as best as you can and only pick up your pace, coming close to the edge of the resort and spotting a lake just past a snowy field. The smell of the fire gets stronger, especially towards the side of you, so you turn the street and come face to face with flames breaking out the windows of some restaurant.

You want to get as close as you can to be able to see inside just in case, but alas, just across from you you spot Ellie walking out from the other side of the restaurant. Your dad spots her too and without saying anything you share a relieved look before he breaks away from you to grab her.

“No!” Ellie screams out the moment your dad touches her. “Get off of me!” She tries to fight away his touch, causing you to immediately halt in your steps just before you can also approach her, and just watch out of concern, confusion, and most of all guilt as to what happened.

“Get off!” Ellie keeps yelling out even as your dad turns her to face him.

“It’s me,” he tries to assure her, but she loses balance and falls on her knees and begins to hit him.

“Get—” she cuts herself and slowly stops fighting, but keeps hyperventilating.

“Hey,” your dad tells her softly as he holds her jaw. “Look.”

You take a step towards them on the ground and feel your breath hitch as you see blood splattered all over face, and the look of utter terror and shock written all over her face.

“It’s me…it’s me. It’s okay,” your dad consoles her as she studies him.

“He,” she mumbles, but doesn’t finish what she’s going to say for the first time, instead she pulls your dad in an embrace that he returns.

“It’s okay,” he keeps telling her as she cries into his shoulder. “It’s okay, baby girl. I got you. I gotchu.”

Besides feeling completely relieved to see her alive, you’re also hit with more guilt that strangles your heart. She’s feeling this distress, this agony because you failed, because you couldn’t keep her safe. She got taken because you failed her, she’s crying because of you. She’s hurt because of you. David hurt her because of you.

You let out a shaky breath and finally approach her as she pulls away from your dads embrace, and interject quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie slowly lifts her gaze and watches you get on your knees by her and your dad.

“I’m sorry,” you repeat and slowly cup her cheek to wipe away the splattered blood that was on her face, while you cup her shoulder with your other hand. “I’m sorry.”

Ellie slowly places her hand on your arm as she studies you. And it seems that she actually looks relieved to see you, her eyes are soft as she holds your gaze, and her breathing keeps calming down instead of rising more.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” you mutter in a quivering voice. “I’m sorry, Ellie.”

More tears stream out of her eyes, and she then lets out a small breath before she surprises you by pressing her forehead against yours.

You tense up, but only because she catches you by surprise. She should be mad, furious at you, but she isn’t. She isn’t, she’s relieved to see you. Knowing that lets you close your eyes and bask in the comfort that she’s okay, that she’s not gone too.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whisper. “I was so scared.” You pull back but only to wrap her in an embrace. Ellie hugs you back and presses her face against the crook of your neck, making you hold onto her tighter.

She doesn’t say anything, nor do you expect her to, you just hold onto her and feel grateful that she’s okay, that you didn't get lost again, and still have her; your unexpected light in your heart that Sarah had left dark.

——

*SOMETIME LATER IN SPRING*

“I had a weird dream the other night,” you mention to your dad as you lean against a kitchen cabinet whilst he searches the other cabinets.

“Okay,” he says. “Go on, tell me about it.”

You scratch the back of your neck and sigh. “So I’m on this big plane that’s full of people, and everyone is screaming and yelling ‘cause the plane is coming down, right.”

He hums and begins to search closer to where you are, so you peel away from your spot and shift to the middle of the RV’s hall.

“So I walk to the cockpit, open the door and there’s no pilot. I try to use the controls, but I obviously have no clue how to fly a plane, and,” you continue and watch him find two cans of food. “Right before we crash I wake up.” You draw out a deep breath and sit down on the bed. “I’ve never been on a plane. Isn’t that weird?”

Your dad scoffs softly and then turns to face you with the cans of food in his hands. “Well you know, dreams are weird.”

You bounce your eyebrows and nod. “Yeah.”

“But if you’re still scared of planes, then it makes sense,” he says and walks to you.

You press your hands on the edge of the bed and lean back as you watch him sit next to you. “Terrified. The few times I’ve been in a car I got really scared that suddenly a plane was going to come out of nowhere and crash near me. That’s why,” you nod. “Once we make out of this shit and they’re back on the sky I’m not getting on one. Never. Like what if we crash and explode, what then?”

Your dad shrugs and glances at the end of the bed. “You die.”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and turn your head to look at him, he feels your stare and slowly meets your gaze with a smirk.

“Simple logic,” he deadpans.

“Simple logic,” you mock him in a deep voice.

He begins to narrow his gaze and gets all serious, while you begin to smile. But it’s only for a minute because then you both begin to laugh.

Once you both calm down he hands you the cans he had found in the cabinets. You proceed to turn the can to read what it is, which to your surprise is something good.

“Mhm, 20 year old Chef Boyardee.” Your stomach growls, but it still isn’t time to eat so you hold back from opening it and hand it back to him instead. “My babysitter used to love cooking that for me. And when you had late nights at work that's what Sarah would cook for us.” You smile.

“He was always reliable,” he jokes.

You giggle and nod. “Still is, apparently.” You sigh, and look around the bed you’re sitting on and spot a broken guitar.

“She’s been…” your dad pauses. “Extra quiet today,” he points out what you had noticed as well—Well correction, that she’s been quieter than the other days because after leaving creepy David’s resort you noticed Ellie hasn’t been herself since.

“Has she talked to you?” He asks.

You glance down at your hands and sigh deeply. “No,” you admit but it’s not because you don’t want to, but well you understand what she might be going through. It’s not easy just bringing it up. “I,” you continue and blink to look at him. “I’m giving her space. I told her that when she wants to talk she can come talk to me.” It doesn’t take too much context to know what David wanted out of Ellie, you saw the creepy way he looked at her.

“It’s hard,” you add and turn your head to glance out the back window. “It takes a toll on you. I can’t say what she feels exactly, but as long as she knows you’re there for her that’s good, it’s the little things that matter.” You look at your dad and offer him a small smile before getting off the bed.

“Have you,” he adds but stops, and you hear him swallow thickly. “Have you been through something similar?”

You stop just past the kitchen and clench your hand into a fist and begin to gently hit your thigh. He’s just curious, worried, there’s nothing wrong with that, and it happened a while ago now.

Still, it’s never easy.

“Uhm, yeah,” you whisper. “When I was out on my own.” You peer at him over your shoulder and see a deep and sad frown on his face, and also notice his eyes are watery.

“You don’t have to worry,” you assure him. “I’m okay. I’ve,” you sigh. “Healed. She will too, just give her time.” You continue walking out of the Rv, but before you can walk down the stairs to get out, you point to the door. “Come on, let’s get goin’. The faster we do this thing the faster we get outta here.” You rush down the steps and jump down the last one, and immediately get greeted back by the brisky spring wind. Which in truth, it’s a lot more refreshing and better than the cruel and bitter winter winds, plus you don’t have to be wearing so much weight anymore either.

AND! The flowers are able to grow now, which is the best thing that you look forward to all the time.

“Ellie,” your dad calls out once he’s out of the RV. But nothing, she doesn’t respond or look back to acknowledge him. “Ellie,” he calls again and walks past you to call out for the girl again. “Ellie.”

Said girl finally looks back and meets your dads gaze from the back of the truck she was waiting on.

“D’ya hear me?” He asks her.

“No,” she says the truth. “What?”

You grab onto your backpack straps and try to read her face, but she’s a bit too far to get anything.

“Well,” your dad says. “I found this in there.” He points to the RV. “Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” He says as he lifts one of the cans to show her.

“Oh, cool,” Ellie responds with little energy.

Your dad walks closer to her, so you slowly follow behind him.

“And have you ever played this?” He asks her and shows off a box of some game you didn’t see him grab in the RV. “Boggle? It’s a word game.”

“Mh-hmm,” Ellie shakes her head.

“If you wanna beat me at somethin’ it would be this. Just don’t let y/n play, she's a cheater.” He scoffs in amusement and glances at you.

You shoot back a smile, and then tilt your head a bit to the side and notice Ellie simply nods as a response when he expected a witty response, when he wanted more. It’ll take her time, but it’s good to see him trying.

“Well, all right then,” he changes the subject. “We’re gettin’ close.”

Ellie nods. “Mm-hmm.”

“Hospital that way,” your dad points back, making Ellie look over her shoulder. “May be the one we’re lookin’ for.”

“Got it,” Ellie says and gets off the back of the truck now, letting your dad and you walk off so he can get his backpack he left close to the RV.

When Ellie catches up he pulls the rifle off his shoulder and looks to Ellie. “Take this for me?” He asks and hands her his rifle as he puts the stuff away. And as he does you slowly drift your eyes to the corner to look at Ellie, noticing her lose her gaze on the horizon ahead.

You want to ask her a simple question, but you also don’t want to be too pushy.

No matter how much you understand her desire to be quiet and keep to herself, you have to keep telling yourself that it takes time. That you can’t take her pain away no matter how much you hate seeing her look so upset and having her be so quiet.

Nevertheless, your dad takes his gun back and you all continue moving. This time you’re the one that interjects just to let her know you’re thinking of her.

“I’ve been thinkin’ now that the weathers gettin’ warmer, once we get back to Jackson we can go down to the lakes near there. I’ve heard that you can’t swim,” you mention and look at her, catching only a glimpse of her gaze. “I can teach you. Or we can. Would you wanna learn?” You look over at her again and wait.

However, Ellie doesn’t answer, making your dad cut in. “Ellie?”

Said girl blinks and looks at the both of you to query. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” She nods. “That’d be great.”

You offer her a soft smile and nod back. “Cool.” You then glance ahead to see the hospital sign that you follow before looking back at Ellie and noticing her lingering gaze.

She does look away when you turn, but she does a double take and parts her lips a bit. You keep walking, and wait as if you noticed nothing in hopes that would help her build the courage to say what you see her take her breath for. But no, she just slowly breathes out and remains quiet.

It’s okay.

“Once we get there,” your dad breaks the silence as you keep walking towards the hospital. “Is there going to be anyone you know?”

You let out a deep sigh and shrug. “Marlene, I don’t know about any others though. Besides, most of the fireflies I was close with are in Jackson, all the others well they’re gone. We’ll see.”

“Do you have a firefly tattoo, or what?” He asks, making you roll your eyes to the side to meet his gaze.

“No,” you answer. “Why would I?”

He smirks and shrugs. “Seems like you would. Maybe the catchphrase on your arm or somethin’.” He looks over at Ellie hoping she’d break a smile at what he said, but she remains lost in her own thoughts.

“My knuckles,” you joke and put your fists out. “One side one half and the other side the other half of the phrase.” You snicker and can’t help but glance over at Ellie too. But still nothing.

“It’d be stupid.”

“Yeah,” you agree with your dad and meet his gaze, he then looks to Ellie and back to you to pass a worried look that you respond with an assuring one as you pat his arm.

After that silence returns, this one is long since you do try to remain quiet when you enter the city, so as to not gain unwanted attention. Albeit the city is quiet, the deeper and deeper you get in that silence never falters. You would’ve expected some infected.

Then again if the Fireflies are really here then that would explain the lack of infected, and other survivors out—Still you can’t assure yourselves that there is no danger, you just can’t see that from the ground.

“Okay, so this is what I’m thinking—”

“Cut through that building to get around that stuff,” Ellie cuts your dad off, and refers to the rubble straight ahead blocking your path. “Find the skyscraper, go up and look around.”

You smirk in amusement since that’s exactly what he wants to do. And what you want to do too.

“Uhh, actually, this time I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble,” he obviously jokes around, but you still snap your gaze his way. “I found some dynamite in that RV back there.”

“Really?” She questions him, making you smile softly as to how gullible she became when she’s with him.

“No,” he lets her down. “So we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up and look around. But I had you goin’, didn’t I?” He queries as he looks back at her.

You watch her too and see her meet his gaze and nod. Not much, but it is something that you and your dad will take.

Anyhow, you now end up finding an easy way into the unfinished construction building that’s wrapped with sound kind of colored sheets.

“So,” you break the silence as you walk in after Ellie and your dad. “What are the covers for, huh?” You ask your dad as you study the orange covers.

“Uh, to prevent falling debris and dust, it was a safety hazard for tall buildings like these,” your dad answers.

“Huh,” you nod. “Makes sense. Always thought they were big presents. When I was a kid of course.”

Your dad peers back and snickers. “You sure about that one.”

You slide your eyes over to him and shoot him a pointed glare. “I'm sure.”

He shoots you a teasing smile and looks back ahead as you slowly continue cutting your way through. “Look at this place though,” he adds. “Talk about bad luck. Military drops bombs…not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.”

“I think what’s even worse luck,” you add to his comment as you all come to a halt in front of more rubbal. “Wasting so much time on this and having it be bombed.” You scoff and look up in hopes there’s some kind of way up to get a better look, but, no, nothing.

“No way up,” your dad points out.

You sigh and turn away from the gap. “I guess we have shitty luck too. Long way it is.” You begin walking away from the pair, and spot a fenced up area you immediately head to in hopes there’s something there you can use.

The others follow, you can hear their approaching footsteps, and they’re easy to identify too; the heavier and faster paced ones are your dad, and the slower and softer ones are Ellie.

“Here,” you point out to the pair and pull the fence open to walk in. “Look,” you point to the weird metal tower thing as you quicken your pace to approach it. “We can climb up the edge, and…” you trail off and step back to look up. “….Maybe hop a bit to reach the top, but I think we can do it. Yeah?” You ask and look at your dad walking around the tower.

“Or,” he says and steps back to point at the floor above. “We use that ladder.”

You speed walk over to his side and follow his line of gaze to now spot that same ladder.

You scoff. “Yeah, or that.” You put your hands on your hips and share the idea that comes to mind. “We can get you up there, Ellie, you can drop that ladder down, maybe go through that way.”

“Mhm-hmm,” your dad agrees. “Come on, Kiddo, I’ll give you a boost.”

You turn around to look at Ellie, catching your dad mirror your actions. Albeit you come to notice that she isn’t facing either of you, instead she’s focused on some ancient piece of paper that was left behind. So out of concern for her lack of attention you let your dad approach her instead of you since she has known him the longest, and right now maybe she does need his comfort more.

“You okay?” He asks her.

Ellie looks back at him and responds. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s just you kinda seem extra quiet today, so,” your dad says to her.

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

Oh precious Ellie.

“No, it’s fine,” your dad assures her. “Did you hear what we—”

“Yeah,” Ellie cuts him off. “Boost. Got it,” she nods, and now breaks away from her spot to follow your dad on some wooden pallets.

As to not get in the way you watch first as your dad helps Ellie climb to the floor above. After some struggle you see her get up as you now walk up on the wooden pallets, and wait for her to push the ladders down for your dad and you.

However, just as she’s about to hand them to your dad and you, she freezes for a bit and then interjects with what sounds to be, wonder. “Whoa!” Ellie then lets the ladder fall down, and so as to not be hit by the fucking metal ladder you have to jump back off the pallets.

“God damn it, Ellie!” Your dad exclaims as you flinch and press yourself against a pole.

“Shit,” you exhale between heavy breaths.

Your dad snaps his head to you and looks at you with a mix of concern and annoyance due to what just happened. “You okay?” He asks.

You push yourself away from the pole and nod. “Yeah,” you nod. “Missed.”

He looks up again, and you bend down to pick up the ladder.

“You stay there!” Your dad yells out at Ellie as he helps you get the ladder up on the wooden pallets.

Once it’s placed against the floor, and steady on the wood, he helps you back up so you can begin climbing up first.

“You guys gotta see this!” Ellie yells out with what you detect seems to be excitement. Which is good? This is a sketchy place so you’re not so sure if you want to get your hopes up.

That’s especially even more true to you when you finally get on the other floor and spot a very odd large shadow passing by from the outside.

“Ellie?!” You yell out as you hear her running footsteps up the stairs.

“Up here!” She exclaims as you only hear get further. Of course you and your dad follow her, and there was another fucking large shadow that Ellie is chasing.

“Ellie,” your dad calls out.

“C’mon,” she encourages and only ends up running ahead, leaving the both of you behind.

You take one last glance outside before picking up your pace and jogging after her up even more stairs that lead to what seems to be like the back of the building. She seems to stop just past the bare door frame, so you slow down as you follow her, and notice the greenery that now trickles around the hole on the wall. And just past it is Ellie standing in front of another hole that overlooks the vivid green field outside.

“Ellie,” you mutter with concern between pants.

However, once you walk past that gap on the wall and take in more of what lays past that hole Ellie stands in front of, you come to a sudden halt and feel a breath escape past your lips as you come face to face with what Ellie had been after, that “creepy” shadow that had been walking around the building; a giraffe. It’s a giraffe.

You smile at the sight of it, but still find a hard time believing if it’s real or not. Ellie is seeing it too, but you still can’t believe what’s in front of you. It’s just….so beautiful, so calm as it eats the greenery that drapes over the gap on the wall. It’s not afraid or cautious about either of you. It’s just there, living.

When your dad catches up, and you see him stop beside you from the corner of your eye, you have to ask for reassurance. “You’re seeing what I am right?”

He hums in agreement, and that’s all you need to finally break away from where you had frozen to slowly approach Ellie and the giraffe.

“Don’t scare it,” Ellie whispers to you softly.

You beam at the giraffe but assure her in a sweet voice. “I won’t.” You get closer to the edge and carefully pull off a thin green branch.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asks you.

You peer over at her and smile. “It’s all right. Come here, hurry. C’mon.” You wave her over with the leaves in your hand.

Ellie offers you a small smile. Finally after months she smiles at you as she takes the leaves you offer her to feed it to the giraffe. It’s a small moment, and you know this won’t just wash away all her pain, but it’s a sliver of hope, a hope you notice she lost at that resort, it’s a hope that you see rejuvenate her.

“Hey there,” Ellie greets the giraffe before she feeds it more leaves and giggles at the purity of it.

You grin brighter and glance over at your dad, who now stands nearby, and notice a happy smile on his face too as he watches Ellie smile, and hears her laugh. And that only makes your heart even more content.

“Come on now,” he encourages you as he meets your gaze. “Here,” he says and hands you more leaves.

You let out a nervous laugh and take a step closer to the giraffe to offer it what you hold.

At first it’s too busy eating what Ellie offers it so it pays no mind to you, not until Ellie’s done. After that it steps towards you and sticks out it’s long dark tongue to take what you have to offer it without hesitation, no fear; it actually manages to brush its tongue on your fingers, making you giggle at the very odd feeling.

The giraffe stays near you after, so you build up the courage and slowly reach over to pat the side of its face.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asks.

You drift your gaze to her and grin brighter. “It’s okay. It’s not scared.” It’s soft, and it’s jaw feels funny as it moves under your hand. You return to look at the giraffe and feel your smile soften for a moment before it falters as a memory resurfaces as you watch the beautiful creature.

"I decided what I want to have in Wyoming…a giraffe."

Tears fill your eyes, but they’re not out of sadness, not this time, not here as you pull your hand back from the giraffe and remember Sam and Henry. No, this time the tears are happy tears.

They would’ve loved seeing this, especially Sam. And Henry would’ve been happy seeing his brother happy. He would’ve been happy seeing you happy….

That’s it…isn’t it? All this time, all these months you’ve been devastated, but they wouldn’t have wanted that. Henry wouldn’t want you overthinking his death, he wouldn't want you sad.

This giraffe is that sign you’ve been looking for ever since you lost them, that’s it’s okay to move on and not blame yourself anymore. They’re gone and you’ll never see them again, but at least they don’t have to live in fear, or in pain, they’re okay. You won’t ever see them again, you have no picture or any part of them to remember them by, but you’ll never forget them, you’ll never forget Henry or the peace he brought you. You'll never forget that thanks to Henry you learned to love again.

You’ll have them with you forever. You know that now.

“Aw,” Ellie breaks you from your train of thought. “Where’s she going?” She wonders.

You focus back on what’s going on and see the giraffe walk off, and Ellie run after it from the inside, once again leaving your dad and you behind.

“Come on, come on, come on, come on!” She encourages your dad and you.

You sigh and shift around, but stop and gasp as you're surprised by your dads gaze on you.

“You okay?” He asks softly.

You sniffle and offer him a soft smile. “Yeah,” you assure him with sincerity. “I’m better.”

He offers you a gentle smile and nods in comprehension before he grabs his rifle off the ground and begins to walk after Ellie, whilst you face the field, the city, and the blue sky ahead to pull out the sun pin that you still kept in your pocket.

You brush your thumb over the sun and smile.

“You comin’?” Your dad queries from the other side.

You lift your head and nod. “Yeah,” you agree and turn away from the light to join him further in the dim room.

When you make it outside, Ellie is there, leaning over the cement patio wall, watching the giraffes wandering around on the green field. You join her at one side while your dad falls by her other.

“So…” your dad interjects. “Is it everything you hoped for?” He asks her.

You slide a backpack strap off your shoulder to pull the backpack in front of you and finally pin the sun pin on the material after holding it in your pocket for months.

“It’s got its ups and downs,” you hear Ellie say. “But you can’t deny that view.”

When you finish, you hook the backpack back on to then prop your elbows on the cement railing, and rest your chin on your hands to watch the view Ellie made you fond of.

“Look, I don’t know exactly where this hospital is—”

“Yeah, we’ll find it,” she cuts him off before he can finish.

“Sure, it’s just—” your dad says in a tone that makes you shift your gaze to him—“maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.”

Ellie shrugs. “We’re still here though,” she counters.

“I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.”

Hasn’t there always been?

You narrow your gaze slightly as you continue to hear what he says to say.

“We don’t have to do this. I just—I want you to know that.”

You pick up your head, and slowly stand straight up whilst you let your hands rest on the railing.

“What do you mean?” Ellie asks what you were going to ask too. “What else are we supposed to do?”

“Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s. We forget about the whole damn thing.”

No matter how much you just want to go home with Ellie now and not meet those fireflies to not run that risk of losing her, you understand that it falls to her. It’s her choice, your dad might be worried for her, but he can’t make her change her mind.

“After all we’ve been through…” Ellie doesn’t take a moment to think of her answer, she just does. “Everything I’ve done…” she pauses now, letting you step back to be able to watch the both of them. “….it can’t be for nothing. I know you mean well. I know you wanna protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want,” she says and looks between your dad and you now. “Tommy’s. Sheep ranch. The moon.” She smiles.

You mirror her gesture, while your dad lets out a soft chuckle.

“I’ll follow the both of you guys anywhere you go,” she continues to add, and offers you a smile.

You shoot her a small grin in return.

“But there’s no halfway with this,” she continues. “We finish what we started.”

Your dad stays quiet, he hesitates for a brief moment before he nods in agreement. Ellie then nods back, and you interject. “It’s your choice, Ellie, I’ll support it no matter what. You say we go, we go. If we stay, we stay and see it through.”

Ellie meets your gaze and offers you a small smile. “Thank you,” she says softly.

“Of course.”

She turns to face the scenery for a moment before she turns away to walk to the exit door. You follow her and don’t realize your dad has lingered back until you’re at the door.

Hopefully, he understands that it’s her choice and her choice alone. He can’t defy her with something she deems so significant, he’d only hurt her if he does. He needs to understand that. Let's hope he does when it comes down to it.

Nevertheless, the silence follows and the serenity lingers every step of the way back down to the ground. Yet honestly, the calmness of Salt Lake City is concerning.

There isn’t infected? Other groups of people? Yes you’ve only traveled a small fraction of the city, but there should be something out there.

“Was this a FEDRA thing?” Ellie asks as you come across an old abandoned medical camp.

“No. Army.” Your dad answers her, whilst you fall behind to spin around to look around as you continue to walk after them.

“They put these places up all around the first few days after the outbreak,” you hear your dad continue to explain. “Emergency medical camps. Obviously didn’t last.”

You were young then but you do remember coming to one of these. Unlike other people who’ve forgotten their childhood, you still remember yours.

“They had me in one just like this.”

“With Sarah and y/n?” Ellie asks, making you turn back around out of curiosity.

“No,” your dad shakes his head. “Sarah was gone already.”

“Oh.”

You sigh and hold onto your backpack straps as you now continue to look around.

“So what was wrong with you?” Ellie probes.

“It’s for this,” your dad says, and as you look over at him again you see him point to the scar on his head; one you remember seeing on him suddenly one day.

“Ah, the guy who shot and missed,” Ellie adds. “I figured that would’ve happened later.”

“No. Second day.”

You blink and focus on him whilst he comes to a slow stop.

“Well,” Ellie continues. “I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people. They were way better at stitching you up than I was.”

You stop too when you realize it wasn’t just a quick break, and shift your stance to look at him.

“It was me,” your dad adds, causing you to slowly loosen your hold around your backpack straps and blink in disbelief to what you heard.

“I was the guy who shot and missed,” he says and pulls the rifle off his shoulder to sit down on one of the cement roadblocks. Ellie takes a seat by him, but you linger where you stand as you unravel the dark meaning behind his words.

“There’s no story,” he continues softer. “Sarah died, and I couldn’t see the point anymore...”

Your breath hitches softly whilst your eyes begin to water now. As your heart, well that immediately sinks to your stomach.

But you need to hear him out before your emotions get the best of you as your mind races with doubt and guilt.

“I failed to keep her safe…”

Keep listening. Keep listening…

“So how could I keep y/n safe if I had failed her sister.” He says and slowly looks over at you. “I didn’t want to be the cause of her death too, simple as that.”

You let out a slow exhale but feel as if your heart stayed sunken now that you know he wanted to…kill himself out of tremendous guilt for losing Sarah, insecurity over not feeling strong enough to keep you safe, and grief for Sarah. You were being stupid just seconds ago with the poisonous feelings that began to resurface, those of not being enough for him.

It’s stupid. You were insecure. Stupid.

“And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready,” your dad continues to say. Now you break away from your spot and sit at his other side.

“I couldn’t have been more ready. When I—” he pauses and briefly drops head, before looking up again to continue. “When I…went to pull the trigger, I-I flinched.” He huffs out softly. “Still don't know why.” He looks over at you, so you gently caress his arm to comfort him.

“Anyway,” he goes on. “The reason I’m telling you all this—”

“I know why you’re tellin’ me all this,” Ellie cuts him off.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I reckon you do.”

It’s his way of comforting her, which is good, it’s sweet. As awkward as you feel their interaction to be.

“So time heals all wounds, I guess,” Ellie breaks the short silence that had built.

“It wasn’t time that did it,” he lets her know and meets her gaze, whilst he lifts his arm you’re holding so he can instead grab your hand.

More silence follows as he holds Ellie’s softened yet timid gaze. She nods very softly in what you understand to be comprehension, so he then looks over at you to meet your gaze so you’d know he was also referring to you.

You offer him a soft smile as your gaze gleams with tears, and then rest your head on his shoulder. As Ellie remains quiet he then looks over at her again.

“Well, I’m glad that…that didn’t work out,” you hear her interject in a quivering tone.

Your dad nods. “Me too.” He proceeds to sniffle and drops his head to wipe his eyes—or really the tears he couldn’t hold back.

It’s still quite odd seeing him cry since he wasn’t one to show it before. Not until Sarah died. He’s always tried to be strong in front of his girls. You admire that, truly from the bottom of your heart, but seeing him not hold back now is also quite refreshing, it’s okay. You let him know that with a gentle squeeze of his hand, whilst you also notice Ellie sitting there awkwardly just watching him.

It’s quite funny though that they’re both like that.

“We should…probably loot the place for supplies,” Ellie cuts off the silence. “We wouldn’t want to desperately search for some…again.”

“Yep.” Your dad agrees.

You smile down at the interaction, and then get up after Ellie to break off to a tent behind her.

Since there isn’t much left in the tents your search should be quick, but you use this time to finally share your own words of comfort.

“It gets better,” you say without referring to what exactly because she knows. “With time the pain…it becomes less, until it fades away when you least expect it.”

Ellie stops rummaging and quietly interjects. “Does it?”

You nod. “It does. Right now it seems like you’ll never forget. And you won’t…that’s the worst thing, but as time passes it becomes only a distant memory.” You find bandages in a drawer and twist your body around to shove it in your backpack. “It’ll feel like you can never be yourself, like…” you pause. “Like you’ll never recover what was lost.” You sigh and turn around completely to walk over to a stack of boxes beside the drawers she was searching in.

“But you do, you are.” You smile faintly. “Slowly, in your own way, you’ll find the light in the void. And my dad and I will be here every step of the way. I’ll be here for you.”

Ellie closes the drawer, and you hear her sigh before she breaks her silence. “Thank you.” She sighs shakily and gently hits her knuckles against the cabinet. “I appreciate it. You make it…easier,” she whispers and then glances over at you.

You meet her gaze and offer her a soft smile that she mirrors. She doesn’t add anything on the matter after that, nor do you, so instead you walk over to the drawers on the desk that’s in the tent.

“By the way,” you interject in a much uplifted tone. “I like that scar on your eyebrow. It’s very cool.”

Ellie scoffs, and you can practically hear her smirk. “Thanks,” she redirects.

You yank the top drawer open, and come to find a small bottle of vodka rolling to the front. “Cool!” You muse and pull it out.

“What?” Ellie queries and falls beside you rather quickly.

“Vodka,” you point at the words fading on the label. “Not my favorite, but it hits the spot.”

“Can I try it?” Ellie asks and reaches for the bottle in your hand. Albeit you quickly smack her hand away.

“Ow!” She complains and pulls her hand back to rub it as if it truly hurt. “What was that for?”

You meet her gaze and shake your head. “You can’t drink, you’re not old enough.”

Ellie furrows her eyebrows and snaps back. “I’ve drank before. You saw me.”

You also choose to put the bottle in your pack, and then turn to begin heading out. “So what?” You shrug. “That was then, and now I’m tellin’ you that you’re too young. Plus, you’ll just ruin your liver, you’re too young for that. Try next year.”

“I thought you were supposed to be cool,” she retorts sassily while she follows you out of the tent.

You smirk. “I am cool.” You correct her and pick up your pace as you spot your dad waiting for the both of you where you had been before.

“You know what I’m in the mood for?” Your dad interjects now that you continue to try and find the hospital.

“What?” Ellie asks before you could.

“Shitty puns,” he says.

Ellie’s lips pull to an immediate smile. “Oh-ho-ho.” She muses and slides a strap of her backpack off to take out her own pun book, and quickly flip to a page. “People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.”

Your dad smacks his lips, and you squint your gaze.

“Too soon?” Ellie questions.

“No,” he shakes his head. “It’s topical.”

Ellie laughs and then focuses back on the page. “Oh, I love this one. Moon rocks taste better than earth rocks. Why?” She asks and bounces her gaze between your dad and you.

“Why?” You press with a half smile.

“‘Cause they’re meteor,” Ellie gives the answer to a pun you knew, but let her tell regardless.

“Oh, that’s terrible,” your dad says, whilst you giggle.

“Fuck you,” Ellie counters. “That was actually good.”

“It was, I like it,” you back her up.

“That-that’s a zero outta 10,” your dad adds, making you roll your eyes in a lighthearted way.

“All right. All right,” Ellie says, and then continues on to read another pun. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.”

You snort and nod. “That was a 3 outta 10. What do you say?” You ask and look at your dad, noticing his smile.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I think you’re right.”

“Seven minimum,” Ellie tries to plead her case. “I mean,” she points at you. “You snorted.”

“I’ll give it a five,” your dad assures her. “Five outta 10.”

“That’s good,” You nod. “That’s the best it gets.”

“Five?” Ellie repeats.

“Yes,” you agree. “Five—” you cut yourself off immediately the moment you hear something small fall on the ground behind you. Ellie and your dad hear it too, so when you look to the ground your smile falls and your eyes widen as you notice that it's a bomb.

It’s so sudden and out of nowhere that you can’t help but freeze out of disbelief. Luckily your dad throws his arms around Ellie and you and throws all of you to the ground as the bomb goes off and releases a thick cloud of white smoke.

However, it’s that same simple bomb of smoke that causes your ears to ring, and your vision to blur as your mind begins to spin and hurt.

Was it the fireflies, or another group?

“Y/N?” You can identify the muffled voice of Ellie, it sounds distant. “Joel?”

You slowly pick up your head off the ground and catch a glimpse of her right by you actually, she’s not far.

“Ellie,” you croak, and then cough out as the smoke burns your throat and clouds your lungs. You lift your hand up weakly, but try to reach over for her regardless.

Ellie notices your hand and begins to reach for you too, but before you can touch she's suddenly being picked off the ground.

“Joel?! Y/N?!” Ellie cries out as she’s now out of view.

“Ellie,” you can barely hear your dad call out.

“Joel!” Ellie’s cries gets louder and full of panic. You try to look back at her, but as you do you see some man in a vest over you.

“Wait,” you try to plead, and lift your hand to stop whatever he wants to do, but he doesn’t hesitate and lifts his rifle over your head before he brings it down, and brings darkness.

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

Pain is the first thing that you feel, it’s throbbing and radiates all around your head, but, there is one spot to the side that the pain is sharp and hurts the worst.

There’s a chiller breeze you feel, making goosebumps grow on your skin. As your eyes slowly flutter open, a bright light from above blinds you, causing you to lift your hand to shield your eyes.

However, it’s at that moment as your eyes grow accustomed to the light above, as your daze fades away that you notice rundown bare white walls surrounding you. You’re on a small couch, and there’s no one with you. Not your dad, or Ellie.

“What the hell?” You grumble now and sit up quickly as you’re now riddled with fear.

Where is it that you are exactly? It’s an office you’re in, you notice the desk, the window on the wall, and the bookshelf, but where is this office? Where’s your dad and Ellie? It’s too quiet

“Don’t worry,” a voice startles you. “You’re safe.”

You snap your attention to the front of the room where the voice comes from, and gasp the moment you recognize the women standing against the door.

That’s right you were ambushed. But she wasn’t there.

“It’s nice to see you again,” she says.

You scoff and shake your head. “Marlene,” you greet coldly.

.

.

.

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Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13@beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill@joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten02 @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #chapter 6 #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou #the last of us fanfic #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller fanfiction #Joel miller #joel miller fic #tlou hbo #ellie williams #tlou ellie #marlene tlou #Sam and Henry #henry tlou x fem!reader

[damn-stark]

Chapter 7 Blood on our hands

Tragedy at the Miller’s chapter 7

A/N- someone’s serving c*nt this chapter, so much so that uncle Tommy would be proud. Also there’s one more chapter coming up!

Warning- ANGST, swearing, blood and wounds, violence, long chapter, fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, OC x fem!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x09

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“Y/N, it’s been a long time,” she says with nonchalance as if her men didn’t just attack you. “Sorry—”

“Where are they?” You cut Marlene off without caring whatever was going to come out of her mouth, without trying to be nice in any way because you knew what being here meant. You were once a Firefly after all, and you can’t be naive anymore.

Marlene sighs. “Your dad is a couple floors above, and Ellie,” she pauses briefly, but it’s enough for you to find suspicion. “Is getting prepped for surgery.”

What?

You blink in confusion and probe immediately. “What are you talking about surgery?”

Marlene sighs, and you ignore your throbbing headache to stand up and shoot her a pointed glare. “Marlene?” You press. “What are you talking about? What’s happening to Ellie?”

“I’ve known you since you were young, when your uncle and you joined us to try and better humanity through all the darkness,” she avoids answering your question, only adding concern and making your annoyance begin to grow. “You left, and I can’t imagine it’s been easy. I mean you’re with your dad again.”

You scoff and stop in your steps before you can get closer to her to let her explain what she’s trying to say.

“But I like to think I still know you,” she continues and takes a step closer to you. “That you still have that same hope for humanity that once blazed in you so bright. I mean I used to admire it, wonder how someone so young still held on through it all. You were an inspiration for a lot of us.” She smiles faintly.

As presumptuous as she is you still have no clue what she’s trying to get at with this sweet talking. What does all this have to do with your question about Ellie?

“Marlene,” you interject. “What are you trying to get at?”

Marlene smirks faintly. “There’s hope y/n. All we fought so hard for has finally accumulated to something bigger than ourselves. All the people we lost finally have meaning, it means that we no longer have to lose anyone else to this virus.”

You narrow your gaze, but not out of more confusion, the words she spoke now are beginning to make sense and pointing to one thing, one person; Ellie.

“Our doctor, he thinks that the Cordyecps in Ellie has grown with her since birth. It produced a kind of chemical messenger. It makes normal Cordyceps think she’s Cordyceps. It’s why she’s immune.”

Okay? So what? Sure you never figured out why exactly she was different, but what does this have to do with anything? Can't they just run their tests and then get what they need, and let you all leave?

She doesn’t have to stay does she? Not if she doesn’t want to?

“He’s gonna remove it from her,” she continues to add, causing you to scoff softly in disbelief at the sound of her words. “Multiply the cells in a lab. Produce those chemical messengers…and then we can give it to everyone.”

It can work? It will work.

Making a cure will work. There was no doubt about that, but what about Ellie? Cordyceps grow in the brain, if they remove it from her that means that…that…Ellie’s life will come to an end? A life for humanity's salvation. And not just any life, her life. The life of the girl that has been like a sister to you, the girl who saved your own life after Henry died, the girl who helped you find the light in the darkness you had gotten lost in after Sarah died. That same girl.

If they get the cure that means Ellie dies….

All this time you believed, truly believed that it was somehow in the blood, that they’d want to keep her with them forever which is why you wanted her to have a choice between staying or leaving, but now; by the sounds of Marlene’s long talk it seems that they don’t want to give her a choice between living and dying.

Should you?

Sam died because of that same damn virus. You’ve had close friends die; good friends. Their deaths will all have meaning. And this is why you came in the first place, to see Ellie off. Life could be a fraction of what you once knew. There can be peace….

You sigh deeply and step back to sit back down on the couch and drop your head, and repeat everything she said to think about the outcomes.

“You can leave,” she adds and continues to approach you. “Now with your dad, we’ll return your packs and guns, give you a car. Or you can stay and see this through with us. Just tell your dad to leave without a fight.”

No matter how you spin things in your mind, it all ends up coming to the same thing, the same person, Ellie.

“What about her?” You finally break your silence and lift your head to meet her gaze.

Marlene swallows thickly and assures you. “We didn’t tell her, we didn’t cause her any fear, and she won’t suffer any pain.”

They didn’t tell her, so what? They don’t need to run more tests? They’re just going to throw her on the medical table and just what? Kill her now?

“Just like that?” You share your thoughts. “No more tests or nothing?”

Marlene shakes her head. “No, the doctor has all he needs.”

You blink rapidly in disbelief, feeling your annoyance and anger heighten.

“So?” You spat. “You’re just going to murder her. You’re not gonna ask what she wants?” You stand up and look at Marlene with a pointed glare, making her step back, and causing a man to push the door open to peek inside. “Immune or not, Ellie is still a human. Have you cared to ask her for her choice? Have you cared to, I don’t know, wait it out? For-for a different alternative,” it slips mindlessly. “One that doesn't involve her to die?”

Marlene lets out a slow deep breath and retorts. “We can’t put the fate of humanity up for gamble for one person.”

It hits you now, like a slap to the face. What good is peace without her? Why did you debate that before? After all Sam and the others are gone already, what good will the cure be for them now?

Sure if giving her life for that hope is something she wants then you won’t fight her, it’s her choice and her choice alone. But if she wants to fight then you’ll fight with her.

“I want to see her,” you blurt and take another step towards Marlene as you can scan the room for your weapons and backpack. “Let me talk to her.”

Marlene’s hopeful look fades away, and annoyance replaces it. “I’m sorry,” she counters. “But I can’t let you do that. It’s going to happen. You can either be a part of it or keep risking your life in this broken world.”

You scoff and take one step towards her. “I just need to give her a choice, humanity has lived through an outbreak for 20 years. I'm sure they can live through a few more minutes, months, years. I don’t care,” you scoff with a scowl on your face and a fury filled glare that makes Marlene uncomfortable. “All I care about right now is her. My dad can take care of himself, you know that.” You smirk. “You know how he is. I know him, he won’t let Ellie die, he’ll fight everyone in this hospital before that happens, but if being the sacrifice is what Ellie wants then I’m the only one who can talk him through it and make him leave without shedding blood. Give me that.”

Marlene holds your gaze and stands in silence as she thinks of what you have to offer.

Yet she doesn’t linger too long and breaks from her stupor to respond back with disappointment in her eyes. “No. And if you’re willing to gamble humanity’s fate then you’re a danger now.” Marlene walks back, and the man walks in with a rifle clung around him and a cuffs in one hand.

You try to swerve past him, but he swings his rifle and smacks your side hard, causing you to stumble and groan, and then letting him grab your wrists to try and cuff your hands together. However, you fight through your sudden pain, and just as he’s about to throw the cuff around one wrist you hastily bite down on his hand hard, causing him to yelp and then let your arm go to slap you across the face with his other hand.

“Y/N! Stop it!” You hear Marlene intervene from the door, but you ignore her and roll your head up to shoot the man a wide grin whilst blood trickles down the cut he made on the corner of your lip, and the blood that trickles out of your nose because of that slap. His face contorts to bewilderment as he holds his hand, so you then slap your hands on his rifle and throw it up to hit him again and again on the face.

Quick footsteps approach thereafter, but you don’t pay attention and instead pull the pistol out of the man’s holster to smack him hard on the head and knock him out. You then spin around on your feet and point your gun at Marlene.

“Had you asked me to give up Ellie a year ago, I would have let you kill her,” you admit. “I was…in a dark place, but I found the one thing that the fireflies are so fond of. I found my own hope; in someone who taught me to love me again,” you smile softly. “Who taught me that it’s okay to love in this cruel world. It’s because of him that my answer changes now. It’s because of him that I let myself love her. I’m sorry you can’t find that.”

The door pushes open and two more armored goons walk in pointing their rifles at you. You try to look for a way through—maybe you can trick them and then slide past them at the last minute to quickly close the door and lock them in—Shooting them won’t work, you shoot one and the other shoots you. You can grab her! That’s right, and threaten her life.

“I'll ask you once more,” you add and fix your stance to get ready. “Let me talk to her. She decides that she wants to do this, then I’ll leave with my dad and never look back. If she says no then well…” you trail off and sigh.

Marlene shakes her head and just as she’s going to say something you kick her knee, making her lose her aim and stumble. You proceed to snatch her gun away from her hand before you kick her down to the ground and point both guns at her.

“Let me pass,” you spat at them and reach down to grab Marlene’s arm and yank her up. “She’s gonna take me to Ellie, I just want to talk.” You press one gun on her back to push her forward as you take one step ahead. “Move or I'll shoot her.”

Both men lift their arms and step aside, letting you keep pushing Marlene forward as you carefully keep walking out of the room. However, just before you can make it out, you manage to hear feet shuffle behind you so you quickly look back, and just as you do, you barely miss one of the man’s knife.

He tries to stab the back of your throat, but you quickly manage to swerve to avoid getting impaled. Albeit the knife still cuts the side of your neck, making you gasp from shock and let go of the guns to grab at your wound that was spilling out blood. You then stumble back and look around in desperation, without knowing what to do.

At the sound of the commotion and lack of gun to her back, Marlene turns around and immediately reacts in shock and anger. “Oh my god,” she gasps, and quickly squeezes her hands on your wound. “Get the fucking first aid! Do you have any idea what you just did?!” She yells at the man who had sliced the side of your neck while she walks you back to the couch. “It’s okay,” she assures you. “Well stitch you up, you’ll be fine.”

“But,” one of the men stammers.

Marlene snaps her head back and spats back. “Do you have any idea what her father is capable of? You’re lucky you didn’t kill her. God only knows what he’d do if you did.” She looks back at you as you’re sitting in shock and shoots you a pointed glare. “This doesn’t change anything. You’re still dangerous, and the only reason I’m not killing you is because of Tommy.”

You try to scoff to counter her, but you’re too scared that any ragged breath or any big breath will make more blood spill out, so you just sit still and catch the man coming in hesitantly with first aid supplies.

However, instead of having Marlene help stitch up your gash, she makes the man do it since she gets up and instead hooks the cuffs around your wrists before you could put up a fight again.

“I’m sorry,” she takes advantage of your silence. “I really wish we could’ve seen eye to eye on this.” She turns to to leave, but you stop her with your interjection.

“My dad,” you whisper to not add too much strain on your neck while the man stops the bleeding. “What’s going to happen to him?”

Marlene sighs. “Let’s just say I don't have the same mercy for him that I have for you.”

——

*NOT MUCH LATER*

Clinking metal echoes out, again and again. Clink.

Clink.

Clink. And clink.

Due to the fact that you’re restrained, weaponless, and have a gash on the side of your neck, making your next move has been slow. You’ve been trying to have hope that Marlene will come to her senses and let Ellie have her choice, because after all it’s her life they’re trying to sacrifice without consent. But in all your waiting there’s been nothing.

You can’t even count on your dad to come through that door in peace, he cares too much about Ellie without a fight, and unless it’s all been some act then you know he won’t agree to Marlene’s choice either. Not unless you talk to him, but that’s impossible now that Marlene thinks of you as dangerous. So what to do?

What to do?

Beg?

Won’t work.

Yell?

No.

You can’t just sit here either and wait it out, your dads life is at risk considering Marlene hinted that she wouldn't hesitate killing him, Ellie’s life is also at risk with only so little time left to get to her and let her decide what she wants before they murder her. So what is there left to do?

You’d be lying if you said that you haven’t thought of letting the doctors just make the cure without asking Ellie what she wants, because it has. Mainly because of Sam’s fate, but what sister would you be if you didn’t try to at least fight for her?

What the fireflies want is understandable, a future, a cure! But the way they want it isn’t right, it’s murder! Ellie deserves a choice. No matter how much love you harbor for her, no matter how selfish you want to be, you want it to be her choice; If she wants to live her life she can, if she wants to be salvation…she can. So how can you give that to her before they murder her?

You look at the door and keep banging your cuffs against the cabinets harder in hopes they’d get annoyed and come in so you can talk to them, but they don’t react, leaving you with the one option you didn’t want to commit. Violence.

With what?

You look down at your hands—-choking them won’t be enough, so you keep looking until you see one small object, a pen left on the desk.

Press hard enough and a pen can be stabbed in a person's eye, or a throat deep enough to end their life. It can work.

Then again you have no other choice but to use it…

You exhale and push yourself off the couch to snatch the pen off the desk and tuck it in your sleeve before you walk to the door and begin pounding it. “Hey!” You call for their attention as loud as you can without using too much muscle on your neck. “Hey! Please! I need help! Please, it's my stitches!” You stop and wait.

But nothing.

“Hey,” you keep begging as you keep hitting the door. “Come on, it’s my stitches, my neck is bleeding! Ima bleed to death!” You slam your forehead against the door and listen.

This time you hear feet shift before keys jingle and the door knob begins to turn, causing you to step back behind the door. The guard then opens the door slowly and steps in.

“Hey,” she immediately notices that you’re nowhere to be seen, so before she can make more commotion you push the door closed. The guard gets startled and immediately spins around to face you, but she only catches your threatening scowl before you lunge towards her and swing your cuffed fists up her jaw, and then slam down on her nose before you kick her down, and lastly slam your foot on her face again.

“I’m going to give you a choice,” you share ironically. “Take me to Ellie with no bloodshed, or…” you trail off and let her guess what comes after that threat.

The guard narrows her gaze and lets go of her gun to slowly lift her arms to show her willingness.

However, that’s what she wants you to believe because just as you’re about to move your foot, she suddenly swings her boot up and kicks you in the back, just on the end of your tailbone. You proceed to quickly stumble back in silence in order not to alert whoever is out in the hall. The guard then counters her own move by swinging her leg under your feet and tripping you.

You fall on your back, and the pen you hid in your sleeve slides back out of reach. The guard then gets off the ground, so you don't linger in your pain and flip around just as she reaches for her gun.

The pen manages to slide back down to your hand, luckily, so since the guard has orders not to shoot you, you let her approach you, you let her grab your arm to try and yank you up. But just as she gets you on your feet, you draw in a deep breath as you clench your jaw, and then swiftly twist your upper body around and use as much force as you can muster to stab the pen on the side of her neck.

The guard immediately lets go of her weapons and begins to choke on her own blood. Luckily since the pen goes in deep enough she can’t scream so she doesn’t alert anyone, she just gurgles as she falls on her knees. All while you exhale and step back from her to just watch her fall as she chokes on her own blood.

“I just need to give her a choice,” you mutter to the dying guard as if trying to reason her death. “You had yours.” You swallow thickly and reach down for the keys to quickly get out of the cuffs, you then grab her body and flip her around to lay her on her back.

“For whatever it is worth I am sorry,” you murmur as you watch her take her last breath.

She made her choice. She chose to fight, so you fought back….

So before anyone else can come you take her coat off her body. It has fresh blood on the front, but it’s not too much, plus you just need it to get out of here without gaining unwanted attention—

“Shots fired!” You get startled by the sound of a static voice coming from a walkie clung on her belt loop. “Shots fired on level 4! All able bodied personal come to level 4!”

Shit. Shit.

It has to be, there’s no one else who has the balls to shoot up the fucking hospital.

Your dad took action already. Fuck! Fuck.

Quickly you zip up the coat and throw on the hood to cover as much of your face as you can. You then reach down for the guards gun and realize it’s your fucking rifle!

Do people think it’s something that can just be passed around?! Fuck her.

Regardless, you step over her body and stop just in front of the door to listen as footsteps run past the room to reach level 4.

However, all except one stops. “Miranda!” They knock on the door. “Marlene says to keep the girl there!”

The person goes quiet, and your heart begins to pound in your ears as the terror that hits you paralyzes you.

You look at the end of the doorway to watch their shadow, and hold your breath as they wait.

“Did you get that Miranda?!” They question.

You slowly begin to raise the gun and point it at the door as you keep your gaze on the end of the door.

There should be no one else out there, the gunshot will mix with the ones you now hear in the distance, so no one will come running. No one will find her until you’re gone.

Therefore, you reach one hand for the knob to open the door and just shoot. But luckily the person runs off, letting you sigh with relief and hang the gun around your shoulder to instead wait until you can’t hear her footsteps anymore to then open the door.

And just in case anyone is out in the hall you make a sharp turn out of the room and head to the elevators for faster transportation so your dad doesn’t do any further harm, before he steals that choice from Ellie.

Moreover, when you do walk outside you spot your backpack on the desk, so you quickly side step towards it to keep your back turned against the hall behind you, and quickly snatch it from the counter.

There’s no questions as to your actions, no other noises, so it must be clear. You don’t want to check either, so you take advantage of the silence in this hall and stride directly towards the elevator. You then wait for a second and when there continues to be nothing you quickly press on the up button, hear the ding from the sign above and wait with your hand around your gun strap.

When the elevator gets to your floor you draw in a nervous breath, and reach for your necklace, but find your neck bare since your dad still has them. Or at least you hope. You haven’t really paid much attention to his neck. There’s been too much on your mind since leaving the resort.

Regardless, as the elevator slowly begins to open you leave your gaze on the ground until there’s enough room for you to walk in.

Albeit, when you look up to walk in the elevator, you don’t end up moving since you catch Marlene inside. Fuck! Fuck!

You rapidly raise your gun to point it at Marlene, but she’s fast too and raises her pistol to point at you too.

“Put the gun down y/n,” Marlene orders with her gun pointed at your chest. “Now.”

You raise your chin, and ignore her threat and her gun to hold her gaze.

“Put the fucking gun down, or I will shoot you.”

You narrow your gaze on her and hold your ground without saying a word.

“This attitude is why you made a perfect firefly,” she mutters and takes a careful step towards you. “That's why I know you won’t be stupid right now.”

You quirk up a brow and shoot her a smirk so she can try you.

And Marlene does, she reaches for your gun, but you don’t hesitate to hit the trigger either.

However, she’s quick, she’s smart. She catches your action and slaps her hand around your wrist to quickly twist it up so the bullet instead makes a dent on the ceiling.

You yelp as she keeps your shooting arm twisted, and Marlene proceeds to disarm you and then shove you back to the wall behind you to point the gun on your head.

“I also know your dad,” she interjects through gritted teeth, and yanks you off the wall to push you ahead of her so you’ll be facing the elevator doors that close now as the sign above glows. “He won’t leave without you. So why not wait for him here?”

She presses her gun at the back of your head and keeps your hand twisted, bringing a writhing pain that makes your eyes water and doesn’t let you fight back. She forces you to wait there outside of the elevator doors because just like she expected the elevator comes to a stop on the floor you’re on.

Part of you hoped that it wasn’t actually him, that he didn’t actually kill Ellie’s choice. The people well, their deaths are tragic but they’re not that significant, it’s her that you care about the most—So that part of you, the part that cares, also wants it to be him too because it also meant that he saved Ellie from being killed. But you mostly hope it’s not him.

You lower your gaze to avoid seeing the person behind the doors out of that same anxiety. When you watch the doors open all you can see is boots, boots you’ve seen on one person for months. It’s him. Yet you still don’t face him, besides now that deep rooted feeling of shame begins to seep back due to the situation you’re stuck in.

“I’ll give you a choice, Joel,” Marlene doesn’t hesitate to output and twists your arm more, causing you to cry out softly, and making your dad step out of the elevator at the sound of you in pain.

“Leave with Ellie and watch your daughter die,” Marlene continues to say her bargain. “Or save your daughter, leave with her, and leave Ellie behind.” She presses the gun harder against your head, and you now slowly lift your eyes, noticing Ellie unconscious in his arms, confirming what you were afraid he’d do, what you couldn’t stop. You then lift your gaze to his face and notice his hardened glare focused on Marlene.

He then feels your stare and shifts his gaze to meet yours, making you, at that moment feel that same shame heighten in you to the point you break. “I’m sorry,” you mutter through thick tears. “I’m sorry, dad.” You shake your head, and notice his eyes soften as hears your unneeded apology. “It was my fault, I’m sorry.”

Your dad shakes his head to assure you of the opposite, he’s going to speak, but then Marlene interjects. “She’s your only daughter Joel. Real daughter. Your little girl. Ellie is nothing to you but cargo, take y/n. I’ll give you a car and weapons,” she offers in exchange even after you assume he killed the other fireflies; considering that none of them have joined you on this floor—“Give me Ellie, wait for the cure to be distributed and live a happy life. Watch y/n have the life she wants, watch her have an actual career, watch her get married, have kids. She will no longer have to suffer, isn’t that what you want? What every parent wants?” She asks. “Doesn’t she deserve that?”

Not if it means murdering Ellie, that’s clear to you even if your own life is on the line. You would never live in peace knowing that you let them kill her without her choosing her own fate, or without saying goodbye.

“And doesn’t Ellie deserve a choice?” You retort in annoyance. “You think of yourself as so high and mighty, but you can’t fathom the thought of letting Ellie choose for herself.”

“To do what?” Marlene redirects and sways to the side. “You can’t keep her safe forever. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she’s gonna grow up. And then you’ll die. She’ll leave. Then what? How long till she’s torn apart by infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that the two of you could have saved.”

You drift your gaze to the corner of your eyes and try to move your hand, but she squeezes her grip tighter, causing you to groan and drop your head. Albeit, that’s when you notice a chance to get out of this position and bring an end to this choice your dad shouldn’t have to make.

You can’t give it away right away though. You wait for the right moment, and instead listen to your dads response. “Maybe. But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you,” Marlene counters. “So what would she decide, huh? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right. And you know it.”

Yeah, because she was so for giving Ellie a choice. Bullshit.

It’s why you choose to go on with your plan now. She’s distracted currently so you lift your gaze and tilt your head to the side, catching your dads attention right away. So as soon as he meets your gaze you point your eyes to your side.

Luckily your dad is smart and doesn’t miss your speechless hint, he actually looks down, letting you point out the chance you have, the one you caught; Marlene's exposed side after she swayed to the side.

As to not give anything away though, your dad returns his gaze back to Marlene, and you stay where you are and wait.

“It’s not too late,” Marlene adds and now loosens her grip around you. “Even now…even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

Your dad killed all the others by the sound of all those gunshots that rang, and the lack of guards that didn't come down. He probably killed the surgeon, so as much as you want—wanted Ellie to have her own choice, it seems that now….well that is probably unlikely. So why make your dad make this choice between her and you?

There’s no other choice now but to get out of here, the three of you.

Hence why you gave him the hint, it’s why you shift slightly as Marlene lets go of your wrist as she thinks your dad has made up his mind, and watch him lift his pistol he holds under Ellie’s legs to hit the trigger without hesitation.

The feeling of the bullet passing right by you makes you tense, and the sound makes you lift your hands to try and cover your ears, but luckily it doesn’t hit you. The bullet hits Marlene directly, causing her to drop her gun off your head as she falls to the ground.

You want to look back at the outcome, you also want to see if anyone would come, but your dad grabs your hand and pulls you in the elevator right away. You only catch a glimpse of Marlene on the ground with blood beginning to spill on the white hospital floor before the elevator doors close to begin moving down.

“Are you okay?” Your dad finally has the chance to ask.

You glance at Ellie still unconscious and make sure she’s breathing whilst you want to counter with questions. But there’s no time now and well, it’s not hard to guess what he did, so instead you just assure his worry. “Yeah, some fucker sliced my neck, but it wasn’t deep enough. I got off lucky. And my hand,” you say and look down at your throbbing wrist. “It’ll heal. She didn’t break it.” You then look over at him and look at him up and down to take in his dirty appearance, his worried look decorating his features, and want to question him, but the doors then open to the garage.

And right away you both walk out and search for a car to use. Thankfully, it’s not hard to find a usable car across the lot that’s getting its battery charged.

“There,” your dad points to the black car you had also spotted. “Help me get her inside,” he adds and walks off quickly, while you blink to look at the elevator doors closing past your shoulder to think about what you couldn’t prevent. What you couldn't give Ellie. And if there’s still a possibility to give her that.

After all, she went through so much to get to this hospital, and all for what? For a short trip she won’t remember because they drugged her, because he took her away?

“Y/N, come on, open the door for me.” Your dad breaks you from your train of thought.

“Yeah,” you say, and then look away from the elevator doors to jog over to where he's waiting to open the door for him.

With no other choice left now, you watch him lay Ellie down in the back. When he steps back you take off the stranger's coat you had as a disguise and put it over her legs.

At least she’s alive; you think to yourself as you step back and grab the door. Pushing everything else aside, at least she’s still here with you.

You sigh softly and begin to push the door close, but that’s when you hear a loud thump on the ground. And you know it’s not your dad because he’s by the hood of the car trying to get it ready, so you proceed to close the car door and look over at him.

Your dad meets your gaze with his usual furrowed brows and points to the car hood that’s still open. “Come get the car goin’.”

Your brows knit together in confusion, but you begin walking over to where he is as he turns and walks away from the car. Once you reach the front of the car you see that Marlene had somehow dragged herself down even as she bled out.

Albeit, she’s not in a good shape, getting down here took all her energy, she’s now coughing out and gasping on the ground. However, you do have to give it to her for trying. She’s a true firefly through and through.

“No,” she groans out as your dad reaches her. “Wait. Wait, wait, wait.”

You close the hood of the car, and since you might need to make a hasty escape you walk to the drivers side.

“Please,” you hear Marlene whisper between pants. “Let me go.”

You open the car door and get in without trying to fight for her. Why would you? There’s nothing left, he made sure of that. And you love your dad too much to be against him, no matter what wrongs he’s done—what wrongs he will do.

“You’d just come after her,” he mutters to Marlene, and you watch him lift his gun as you close the door.

And once again without a sliver of hesitation he shoots her, this time he makes sure to kill her right away. Now there’s truly nothing left. Now…home.

Thankfully now the way home won’t take months. Of course you didn’t make it back home before your birthday like you promised your uncle Tommy; your birthday actually passed while you were on the road, but Maria should still be pregnant in two days.

However, it’s the silence, the awkward silence that fills the car that will make this car ride eternal, especially since you’re not driving anymore. There’s so many questions you need to ask, complaints you want to throw at him over what he did, but you can’t do that with Ellie passed out in the back, she can wake up at anytime, so you let the silence build and just watch the city pass and smile at the sight of the lush green forest.

You hoped that the silence would stay to avoid spilling everything, but your dad breaks it. “You know, back there…” he pauses, letting you push your head off the window you’re leaning against to look at him—“…I wouldn’t have let you die,” he shares with a brief glance at you.

You can’t help your smile and nod softly. “I know,” you whisper.

“Yeah?” He questions with a slightly concerned look. “I just didn’t want to let you think that I would—”

“Daddy, I know,” you cut him off quietly.

Your dad holds your gaze for a brief second with this soft look, and lets out a relieved sigh before he focuses back on the road and you focus back on the passing green trees.

“Can you promise me something?” Your dad breaks the silence once again.

You blink and slowly meet his gaze again, but don’t answer so he continues. “Don't tell Ellie what I did back there, she doesn’t need to know.”

What? That he didn’t give her a choice? That he snatched that from her after knowing how much it meant to her? Lie about that to her?

You blink rapidly in disbelief and avert your gaze.

“Just let her believe none of it worked and that they’re all gone. Can you do that for me?”

Siblings are meant to have secrets with each other that the parents aren’t aware of. Not a sibling and a parent, it never ends well.

“For how long?” You murmur.

Your dad sighs. “For however long it needs to be kept a secret. She doesn’t need to know. Ever.”

You let out a deep exhale and turn your head to face him and answer, but then Ellie begins to groan, giving away her slow rise back to consciousness.

“What?” She says as you hear her move back there. And as to not give anything away, to not let her see any emotions, you rest your head on the window and close your eyes to pretend to be asleep.

“It’s all right. You’re with me,” your dad assures her. “Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.”

“Y/N?” She asks, causing you to swallow thickly out of guilt.

“She’s fine, she’s…sleepin’.” He says to her.

You hear Ellie move some more before continuing to speak. “I was with Fireflies and then—what drugs?”

“They were runnin’ some tests on you…” he lies to her. “And some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you…”

No. No.

“…people that are immune.”

Why does he have to say that?

“Dozens of ‘em,” he continues to add to the lies. “And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually—they’ve stopped lookin’ for a cure.”

Let’s hope she believes him now.

“Where are my clothes?” She asks with no clue as to if she does believe him.

“Raiders attacked the hospital. I barely got ya outta there,” he responds. “We’ll find you some new ones on the way.”

“Were people hurt?” She asks.

There’s a moment of silence before he answers with an actual truth. “Yes.”

“Is Marlene okay?”

You clench your hands at the sound of her worry, at the sound of her soft tone. Yet you don’t feel regret for letting Marlene die, no, just that Ellie’s been lied to.

“I’m takin’ us home,” your dad avoids answering her question, but that gives her insight as to what she wanted to know. No.

It’s because of his non answer that you hear her turn around, letting him add one more genuine thing. “I’m sorry.”

Let’s hope she does believe him.

——

*LATER. WYOMING*

The air smelled like home, it made you eager to actually be home; to see your uncle Tommy, Maria, your friends, to just be home. But you’re still a few hours away from actually getting home thanks to the fucking car that broke down!

Albeit at least it didn’t break down earlier and made this trip any longer.

“Well,” your dad breaks the news. “She got us close enough.” He closes the hood of the car, and you turn around to kick a rock and groan in annoyance.

“We gotta walk the rest of the way,” he adds as you hear his footsteps recede from the hood of the car. “Probably about a five-hour hike…but we can manage that. Remember?”

You peer back to see Ellie’s reaction, but the sun hitting the windshield blocks the view, only letting you hear what you assume is slight joy. “Yeah.”

“You ready over there?” Your dad directs his question to you as he steps away from the car to begin walking towards you at the front of the car.

You groan and look at the path ahead. “I’m so ready,” you feign a smile. “I’m eager.”

Your dad falls by you and scoffs. “It’s not long now. We’ll make it there by lunch time.” He shields his eyes and sighs. “I think Maria might kill me this time. With her look alone.”

You laugh. “Nah. I'm comin’ back home in one piece….but maybe once she’s had her baby she will.”

Additional footsteps approach you, so you break away from the spot you had stood at and begin treading that five hour hike.

“All for what?” Your dad quips in a lighthearted tone. “That little cut? Please.”

You shrug. “She’s protective of me, but regardless, rest assured I brought her a bribing present and a heartwarming apology.” You look over your shoulder and smile widely. “I’m still very good at cryin’ on cue, that wins her over.”

Your dad flashes you a smile before looking back at Ellie as she’s lingering behind the two of you. “You shoulda seen her when she was a little girl, she was so dramatic that she learned how to shed the best crocodile tears. Always knew how to get me to do what she wanted.”

“Still can,” you look back at her and wink. “It’s all in the eyes.”

Ellie lets out a soft scoff and nods without saying anything, she stays quiet like she has been for the best couple months, since she’s woken up. But you can say you understand why she’s behaving as such, you’d be quiet too if suddenly that hope to be humanity’s savior was snateched from you without knowing what really happened, and only being able to hear the events from someone else.

She doesn’t deserve to feel such a heavy sorrow, she deserves to be happy, to feel all the lows and highs of being a teenager without such a heavy burden or such a broken heart. So that’s probably the only good reason why….you haven’t told the truth, why it doesn’t bother you that your dad killed everyone in the hospital and stole away her choice out of a selfish act of love. Because if she knew, she’d only know betrayal and even deeper agony that would break her. You want to protect her from feeling that because you know what those feelings bring, darkness.

It’s too bad you couldn’t actually prevent the risk of having her feel it….

Nevertheless, the walk is long, but not hard since it isn’t too hot and the wind is graceful. There is conversation so it isn’t always quiet, but it’s always mostly between your dad and you, Ellie just remains quiet most of the time. The hike isn’t filled with obstacles either, nor with danger, so it’s easy. The only thing that was pesky was your eagerness to get home that’s heightened the closer you get.

“You know, Sarah, y/n, and I used to hike like this all the time,” your dad breaks the silence that had filled your small group, making you smile softly and peer back at him.

“I wouldn't say it was her favorite thing,” he continues. “She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitoes and such. But she was a big climber…or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl…she’d see a big rock, and just…pew.”

You grin and try to recall memories, but nothing comes to mind.

“What about y/n?” Ellie probes, causing you to turn around to face your dad as if that will make a difference.

“She was a little girl so when she wasn’t clung on my back she was on a little red wagon. Besides, y/n she liked more of the water activities, swimmin’, she liked to help me and Tommy fish.” He shoots you a small smile. “Actually one time she helped me unhook a fish and…”

Oh this story, yes, you remember it clearly. How funny…

“She actually,” he says between laughs. “Got smacked by the tail. Right on the face,” he points to his own face. “It left a mark for days, I could not get her to stop cryin’.”

“Nor could uncle Tommy stop laughin’,” you grumble and turn back around. “He still does by the way. Never lets me live it down. Especially when he’s drunk, “oh do you remember when you got slapped by a fish, Sunny,” you mock his voice. ““So there was this one time….” Pft,” you blow out air.

“It’s too funny to let you live it down,” your dad teases.

You shoot him back a pointed glare and feign a dry laugh.

“No, but,” your dad continues. “Sarah woulda liked you, Ellie.”

You sigh and lose your annoyance to smile softly again.

“Not to say the two of you are the same. Definitely different.”

“How so?” Ellie chooses to investigate that comment.

“Well, she was a lot more…I wanna say girly. And I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly,” he tries to assure Ellie.

“I’m not,” she quickly rebuttals.

“Yeah, you’re not,” your dad agrees. “So that,” he chuckles. “She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you don’t,” he assures her. “But you know why I think she’d like you?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh.”

You look back and nod in agreement.

“Anyway,” your dad continues after Ellie’s silence. “I bet you would’ve liked her back.”

You look back ahead and hear Ellie agree. “Yeah, bet I would've.”

You smile softly at her response and can’t help but imagine having Sarah here. It’s hard to say how she would’ve been like considering she would’ve been, what? In her thirties, but you know she’d be happy to have Ellie, to have a different dynamic in your little family considering Ellie is different from you too. Plus, she would’ve liked that Ellie could make your dad smile, you know you do.

Regardless, as you continue leading the way, your smile quickly breaks into an excited grin as you spot a clearing just past the end of the tree line, finally. So without hesitation you break into a sprint to the end, knowing what lies just beyond the end woods and at the top of the green hill.

“Y/N!” Your dad calls out. “Careful!”

Disregarding his warning you maneuver through the tree branches in the way, you duck under a fallen tree stuck on another, and only feel your enthusiasm make your heart pound faster. You don’t stop running until finally you see it in the clear and green horizon, home. Finally, after what’s been a difficult couple months, complete and utter happiness fills your heart.

“There it is,” you point out with a happy grin as Ellie and your dad catch up. “Home,” you let out with a relieved sigh.

From on top of this spring hill, Jackson is a lot larger than you thought of it being. It’s big, but it only means it’s full of people, it’s a small reminder of humanity without the monsters.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “Not much further now.”

You try to squeal out of joy, but that hurts to do because of your wound, so you just keep grinning as you continue walking ahead beside your dad now.

“Hey, wait,” Ellie calls out, making your dad stop right away, and making you slow down before stopping a few paces ahead of him.

“Fuck,” you catch Ellie whisper, causing you to shift around and catch her fall in front of your dad to continue. “Back in Kansas City you asked me about the first time I killed someone.”

Your smile falls, and a pit in your heart begins to grow as you feel nothing good coming from what she’s saying.

“When I got bit in the mall, I-I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there,” she sniffles. “And she got bit, too. We didn't know what to do, and she says, “we can just wait it out…”

Oh god…no. You knew it, nothing good.

“….be all poetic and just lose our minds together.” And then she did. And I had to—“ she pauses, but it’s not hard to decipher what she meant, what she had to do—she had to kill her friend. “Her name was Riley…and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess….”

Wait. What? Yes you knew something might’ve happened to not see her with your dad, but you never…you never came to the conclusion that she was dead. You never asked either, but you never—that never came to mind.

Fuck.

You never got to know her well, but from what your uncle Tommy said about your dads life from the messages they’d send through radio before, Tess was in his life for a long time. Damn….

It’s not sad news for you, but it’s surprising that’s all.

“…and then Sam,” Ellie adds, making you now drop your gaze to the wild flowers around your feet.

“That's not on you,” your dad interjects.

“I know, but—”

“Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope,” your dad cuts Ellie off. “You can feel…like you’ve come to an end….and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’…you find something new to fight for.” He glances at you, and you offer him a very faint smile.

“And maybe that’s not what—”

“Swear to me,” Ellie cuts him off abruptly. “Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.”

You swallow thickly out of guilt, but hide your emotions well in the flowers around you just in case Ellie is trying to read you too.

“I swear,” you hear your dad lie with no remorse.

A moment of silence passes, a heavy silence you feel immediately, so you look up and catch Ellie’s furrowed brows, pointed gaze, and unrelieved look before she nods and mutters softly. “Okay.”

It doesn’t sound convinced though, you can tell that, you can see her glistening eyes. You can see a shift in her look. What should be a relieving moment seems to be filled with tension. Yet you don’t know how much she believes, or if she’s just disappointed by the answer, but you can tell that there’s a rift between her and your dad now. Her look alone gives that way. After all, you've once looked at him like that too; same narrowed glare, same long frown, and disappointed look.

What would Sarah do? You can’t help but think now, at this very moment as you remember her by looking at the pretty flowers that decorate the green hill. Would she go against your dad and tell her the truth, or hide it like you are now and carry the burden of the truth for her sake, for the purpose of not seeing her heartbreak. Would she risk her relationship with Ellie, the trust, for her own sake?

You look at Ellie and watch her turn away from your dad to finally continue walking home. You then look at home, and then at your dad as he stops by you without saying anything.

After all she’s been through…

You watch her again and sigh with tears beginning to sting your eyes.

….you can’t break her heart. You can’t do that to her. You’ll carry the burden for her sake, for his sake as well.

Yet it doesn’t mean he won’t hear what you have to say, the disappointment you feel for his choices, he’ll hear it, just not now. So you shove away your need to cry and bring back the happiness you felt for returning home. You break away from your dads side without a word, only a guilty look, and trot down to join her side.

You hoped it’d be a quiet walk, but she surprisingly breaks it.

“So what? Are you happy to see your lover boy?”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and scoff softly before you retort. “What are you talkin’ about?”

Ellie shoots you a faint smirk. “That guy you were batting your eyelashes at when we first got to Jackson.”

You scoff and roll your eyes in annoyance, but you’re actually left speechless.

“What?” She quips. “Just ‘cause you lost one boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t get another. I mean isn’t that how life works?”

You squint your gaze on her in slight disbelief to what she’s saying and actually interject now. “Where is this comin’ from? Huh?” You tease her. “Is this, like, dating advice?” You quirk a brow and smirk.

Ellie’s lips begin to pull to a smile and she shrugs. “I’m just saying I mean it’s not like your dad is going to give you this kind of advice.”

“Oh, and you will, a 14 year old?”

“15 now,” she corrects you.

“Whatever,” you quip. “Same thing.”

“Well,” Ellie sighs. “I'm just saying. Are you happy or not?”

You avert your eyes and shrug. “I guess it depends, doesn't it?”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “But if it doesn’t work out then you can always date Henry’s ghost for the rest of your life.”

You giggle and shake your head.

“Or we can do shit like—”

“Become astronauts and fly to the moon?” You cut her off with a smile.

Ellie meets your gaze and nods. “Yeah. We can do that.”

You nod softly. “We'll see then. Who knows you might beat me and meet someone first. There’s boys and girls your age there.”

Ellie shrugs and huffs out. “We’ll see. I like the moon idea. We could…live in a space station over earth, go to the moon whenever we want and not have to worry about anything down here.”

You look at the green path ahead and let out a deep sigh. “Yeah. I like the sound of that. It’d be a killer view too.”

“Just you and me,” she whispers.

——

“It’s just you and me now, Sunny,” he mutters over the sound of the pattering rain.

You sigh deeply, and watch the rain fall over the patch of green forest below the hill with a sad frown, with an ache in your heart that was left when your dad left you.

“Yeah,” you whisper and glance up at your uncle Tommy with a small smile.

He meets your gaze and offers you a wider smile that he tries to use to assure you. You hold his gaze for a second before you drop your head and look at the wet grass beneath your feet with deep sorrow in your heart.

It’s not so weird that you came back to this moment in your mind, Ellie’s words triggered them to reappear. Nor is it weird that you couldn’t stop thinking of it until now, until you saw your uncle Tommy. Your home.

“Uncle Tommy!” You exclaim before you throw your arms around his neck with a happy grin on your lips.

“Sunny,” he whispers softly by your ear as he hugs you back with more force.

Being apart this time wasn’t as long as before, but months still feel eternal, and well no one knows what can happen to anyone so seeing him even after a few days is a delight.

“You said a month,” he remarks. “You missed your party.”

You sigh and pull back to face him and talk back, but he catches the bandage over your wound on the side of your neck, and his face expression contorts with concern.

“I’m okay,” you quickly assure him as he turns your head so he can take a better look. “I’ll be okay. It’s not deep. You.” You pull back and grab a hold of his hands with a tight squeeze as you grow worried. “The baby?”

A smile once again breaks on his features and he shakes his head. “Not born yet.”

You clasps your hands together and squeal with happiness. At least you didn’t miss that.

“Good, I’m glad,” you retort and step back to let your dad greet his brother.

“You’re still alive,” your uncle teases your dad whilst you twist around and search the patrol group that had come out to greet you before you could reach the gate.

This time around since Maria is heavily pregnant she isn’t one amongst them, neither is Apollo or his dog Achilles….hm. Hopefully, they’re okay.

Something else that changed this time around was the confrontation, it wasn’t hostile or full of terror since now you know the dog won’t detect the cordyceps on Ellie. And since your uncle was out here, your dad nor Ellie’s intentions were questioned, leading you to actually get home quicker this time.

And just like before, when you walk past the gates you’re taken aback by the liveliness of it all. Snow didn’t cover the ground, and the holiday decorations didn’t decorate the town, but the sky was clear, the sun was softly shining from above, and the town was full of color due to the colorful flowers that now replaced the holiday decorations.

“Okay, but don’t think you guys are off the hook,” you interject as you let your shoulders fall, and rest your head on the horse your uncle let you ride home so you wouldn't be on your feet any longer. “I still want my birthday party. Birthday week!” You exclaim. “I have it all planned.” You say and throw your hands out dramatically.

Your uncle grins softly. “Do ya know?” He retorts.

You hum in agreement and nod as you meet your dads gaze now too. “First day, bam, breakfast outside, fancy dress code, pancakes, coffee, fruit, chocolate chip cookies, eggs. Second day…” you trail off and gasp softly as the sight of Apollo walking out of the school his father taught at, catches your eye.

For a moment it’s only him you see amongst the crowd of people, time even seems to pass by in slow motion even if your heart begins to race as you watch him walk down the street. He doesn’t spot you since you’re sort of in the middle of the walking-in crowd, and his eyes are just focused on the ground.

“Apollo!” You yell out even if that hurts the muscles on your neck, and proceed to shoot up before you throw your leg over the horse to slide off sloppily since you’re hardly paying attention. “Apollo!” You yell out again and this time catch his attention and cause him to stop in his tracks.

You almost fall when your feet hit the ground, but you don’t pay any mind—Your dad does though. “Jesus Christ, y/n, careful.”

“There she goes,” Ellie comments as she watches you maneuver past the horses.

“Apollo!” You keep yelling out your friend's name with glee. “Apollo! Apollo!”

Said man's lips spread to a beaming grin and he doesn’t hesitate to also break into a sprint. “Y/N!” You hear him shout.

And before you know it, once all the barriers of space are broken you meet halfway and hop to throw your arms around him.

Apollo doesn’t falter and grabs onto you with all his might. You proceed to giggle and dig your face in the crook of his neck, taking in his fresh and clean scent, and feeling like yourself again; no guilt for what you had to hide, no fear, nothing bad, just ease and joy. The feelings make you linger in his arms for a moment longer until you have to pull away.

“Did you just back?” He asks with an awed smile.

You nod and keep holding onto his arms. “Yeah, I just got back. I missed you out on patrol.”

He scoffs. “Got today off. Damn shame now.” He catches your long bandage on your neck and his face falls. “Is this fresh?”

You sigh and shake your head. “I’ll be fine. Just a cut. You should see what I did,” you clear your throat and smirk smugly. “Pen move. Lodged on the throat.”

“Is that right? I would've liked to see it. Maybe you can show me later.”

Your smirk softens. “Oh yeah, I could.”

Apollo shoots you a grin and holds your gaze with a soft look that makes your breath hitch, and for you to begin to grow hot under his gaze. However, you don’t look away, your smile softens, and you keep holding his gaze even as your heart begins to race again.

You actually catch his gaze flicker down, so you mimic his actions and see his lips part slightly, making him lean in just a bit.

Yet before anything can happen suddenly the sound of your name being yelled out breaks the tension. When Apollo and you look over, he quickly groans in annoyance, but you smile as you see his brother and your friend Atlas, and their dog Achilles running at you.

The dog beats him to you, but when Atlas reaches you he makes you stumble as he throws his arms around you and his brother in front of you.

“You’re still alive you fucker,” Atlas says to you.

Your lips pulls to a grin and you nod. “Always. You need to stop doubting me.”

He chuckles and pulls back, ignoring his brothers annoyance and just focusing on you. “I have to, who would I be if I didn’t?” He retorts.

You roll your eyes.

“I’d be crushed if I kept up my expectations,” Atlas adds quieter. “I’m happy to see you home.” He smiles and pats your shoulder. “Someone missed you terribly.” His gaze bounces to his brother, but he snickers and plays it off by then petting Achilles. “This old fucker here.”

“Ah, well,” you play along with him and slide your arm off him to touch your chest. “I’m here to stay this time. For good.”

“Really?” Apollo challenges. “You being for real?”

You hum and nod as you step back from both boys. “Swear.”

Apollo can’t help but smile, and Atlas just counters you. “We’ll see won't we.”

You scoff, but don’t try to argue, instead you let out a deep breath and point back to the group most likely already at the dinning hall. “I’ll see you boys at home, y’all still live there right?”

Apollo smiles and nods. “Of course. Why would we leave…I’ve been waiting for you to come back.”

You smile softly and don’t add on to his comment because of Atlas beside you, but you understand his reference and nod. “I’m going to grab lunch,” you tell them. “I’m starving. Get…the tequila ready, yeah? Birthday shots?”

Atlas quickly rebuttals as you walk back. “No, your birthday passed!”

You shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Have it ready!” You shoot Apollo one last smile. “Let’s talk later, yes?”

“You know I always have time for you.” He shouts back with a smirk.

You grin at him before you turn around and catch up with your family waiting for you outside of the hall. And once you get close your dad and uncle head inside whilst you linger behind with Ellie, all because she wants to pass you a teasing look.

“What?” You retort and know exactly what that look is for. “I’m just happy to see him.” You open the door and let her walk in first.

“Sure.” She chuckles. “Sure it’s just that.”

“Whatever,” you scoff with a giddy smile.

——

*LATER*

Having babies during this never ending pandemic seemed like such a selfish act to you before, you thought of the people as selfish for wanting to have and raise their kids during this apocalypse. But after meeting Henry, after learning to love again because of him, that thought disappeared.

Now you couldn’t be happier for Maria and your uncle Tommy. Now as you feel their baby kick inside her you also kind of long for such a bliss.

“You pick a name yet?” You ask Maria as you have your ear pressed against her belly.

“No,” she says. “Not yet. We’re waiting until the baby’s born to give it a name.”

You hum and then beam at the open air ahead of you. “I’m so glad I made it back in time to feel this.”

“I almost thought you wouldn't,” Maria retorts with some sass behind her comment.

You scoff softly. “You know he’d bring me back home.”

Maria sighs, so you lift your head off her belly to sit up and face her with a more serious look on your features.

“Look, I know he’s not your favorite person, but he’s still my dad, he’s still my uncle Tommy’s brother, making him your brother-in-law, so you have to suck it up and start coming around. Besides, when it comes down to it you wouldn't want anyone else having your back but him, he’s good, and protective.”

Maria holds your gaze and swallows thickly out of hesitation. After all she’s heard you can’t really blame her, she’s being protective too over you and your uncle, but now your dad is here to stay. She can’t live on hating him in this small town.

“Do you trust him?” She asks with a narrowed gaze. “It doesn’t matter if he’s your dad, push that aside. Do you trust him?”

Without hesitation you nod. “I do,” you assure her because it’s not your trust that’s at play here, no, you’re just upset and disappointed. “He’s earned it,” you add and clasp your hands together whilst you watch the wind sweep over the spring flowers in your meadow.

“Okay,” Maria sighs, “then I’ll be less…hostile. I’ll try.”

You drift your eyes over to her and shoot her a smile. “Good. That’s all I ask, all uncle Tommy and I ask.”

A moment of silence passes where all you hear is the soft howl of the wind brush over your ear, where all you do is watch the pretty and delicate flowers dance gracefully in your meadow. But Maria then breaks that moment. “Are you going to talk about why you left the second time, and came back all beat up?”

Shit.

You blink and drop your gaze whilst it slowly begins to harden and lose all the softens it held over the meaning of her question, and what it asks from you—lies.

More lies. You can’t tell her about Ellie, about where you went and what happened on the trip. At least you can’t say all that involves the fireflies. She’d hate your dad more than she already does, she’d just stir trouble.

Albeit there's a knot in your throat that threatens to undo so you can just throw up everything in some kind of word vomit.

But you can’t, you have to avert your gaze to avoid breaking. And luckily the back door opens, and when you look back you’re thankful to see your dad here to save you from breaking.

“Daddy,” you greet and quickly push yourself to your feet to avoid what came up.

Said man forms his lips into a tight lipped smile when he notices Maria, and slowly begins to wander over to where you are. “Sorry,” he interjects and meets Maria’s gaze. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

You shake your head and answer right away. “No, no it’s okay. Come over.” You see his gaze flicker to the flower meadow and linger there for a moment before his gaze falls on Maria and you—“Everything okay? Or did you just come to visit?” You ask.

He nods stiffly. “Yeah. I came to visit.”

The wood from the bench swing creaks, stealing your attention. And when you look back you see Maria getting up. “I’ll go then and leave the two of you alone.”

Your dad doesn’t put up a fight to try and be nice, he nods and mutters, “yeah, okay, thanks. Sorry again.”

Maria shakes her head to assure him that it’s fine before beginning to walk away. And just as she makes it on the patio she glances over her shoulder. “I’ll see the both of you at dinner.”

You offer her a kind smile and nod in agreement, she then finally leaves the area when she walks inside, leaving your dad and you alone in a silence that feels quite comfortable.

“Sit, please,” you point to the bench as you sit back down.

Your dad lets out a deep sigh before slowly making his way to sit beside you.

“I grew it in memory of Sarah,” you let him know right away. “The meadow. I mean,” you sigh and smile a wobbly smile. “I’d already see her in the gentle flowers when I had no picture of her, everytime we were out trying to survive. I’d see her in the delicate and beautiful butterflies that flutter on them, so…I grew this meadow when I got here to see her all the time.” You drop your head and sniffle.

“It’s,” your dad mutters in a shaky voice. “It’s sweet. I like it. I’m sure she’d love it too.”

You smile softly and nod, you look at the flowers again and now as you remember your sister you also can’t help but remember the new burden you carry, and you have yet to talk about with your dad.

“Where’s Ellie?” You ask with a fading smile.

“Home,” he says. “She wanted to stay home.”

She’s thinking about what she failed to do isn't she? You know she is. You saw her overthinking behind her solemn look she carried ever since she woke up. You saw her disappointment after she asked your father for reassurance over what he said happened. You could hear her heartbreak when she questioned your dads fake story in the car.

So if you saw and heard all that, you know he did too.

“Why?” You break the silence that had built. “Why did you do it?” You ask, but not with anger laced in your voice, not disappointment; your voice is soft and filled with genuine wonder.

“They were gonna kill her,” he mutters out with no remorse behind his voice. “They were gonna kill her for it without giving her a choice.”

You briefly shut your eyes and let out a deep sigh. “Did you give her a choice?” You ask him and blink to look at him, to watch as he meets your own gaze. “Did you give her a choice before you took her, before you killed everyone in that hospital including that doctor?”

Your dad holds your gaze and now you see that once hardened look turn soft. “I couldn’t lose her,” he says quietly. “You have to understand that.”

More than anything. You love her too.

“I do,” you whisper, but begin to shake your head. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t mean you weren’t selfish.”

“I’d do the same thing with you,” he rebuttals. “In a heartbeat—”

“You were wrong!” You cut him off in an emotional outburst. “You were wrong!” You shout again and jump to your feet to continue facing him. “You were selfish for taking that chance from humanity, even after all we’ve seen, all those people I’ve lost, that we’ve lost in the way,” your voice quivers. “You disrespected her by taking that choice away from her. I…I grew to love her too, I did,” you nod and feel your eyes fill with tears. “She made me find myself after being lost for so long without Sarah. But,” you swallow back your tears. “I would have given her that choice, if she said she wanted to live then I would have helped you get her out by doing whatever I took, but you….didn’t give her a choice.”

Your dad drops his head and watches the flowers in the meadow. He stays silent, letting you let out a deep shaky breath to calm down that anger you had held in.

“If you’re asking me to regret what I did,” he breaks his silence with no anger, his voice remains soft. “I won’t.” He meets your gaze with exactly that, no regret. “I won’t regret what I did because I did it for her, so she can live. I did it for us, for our family. If it was you in her position I’d do it too in a heartbeat, damn the consequences. I wouldn’t even care if you spent all your life hatin’ me because at least you’re alive to do that. The same goes for Ellie.”

That doesn’t take away from your anger and disappointment, but it does help you better understand his reasonings behind his actions.

“And if she ever finds out,” he continues as you remain quiet, unable to find something to argue back with. “I’ll never let her blame you because it was all me. But I hope that she doesn’t find out, she doesn’t deserve to live with that heartbreak, she deserves a good life. She can have that here with us. So that’s all I ask from you, don’t tell her. Please.”

You hold his gaze for a brief second as you think about what he asks from you, as you debate whether to listen or not.

You then proceed to sit back beside him on the bench, you watch the flowers and think about your thought process before, when you stood on that hill that overlooked Jackson. You remember what you came up with then; you want to save Ellie from the darkness that his betrayal would bring, because you also want her to have a good life.

That’s the only reason why you’re agreeing to carrying that burden too.

“I won’t,” you assure your dad. “I won’t tell her. I swear.”

Your dad nods, but keeps holding your gaze with anguish. “Does this change anythin’ between us?” He asks, catching you by surprise. “Because I can’t…I can’t lose you babygirl. Not again.”

You quickly shake your head and speak your truth with a gentle smile. “No, of course not.”

Your dad nods softly as he lets out a deep relieved sigh.

“I was just angry,” you share. “I just needed you to hear what I had to say, that’s all, but no I don’t want that to change us.” You grab his hand and give it an assuring squeeze. “Because regardless of it all, omitting this truth from her is for her own sake now.”

“Yeah,” your dad agrees with a nod. “It is. It’s for her...”

“For Ellie,” you finish his sentence.

.

.

.

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #tragedy at the miller’s #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #chapter 7 #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x daughter!reader #Joel miller #ellie williams #Ellie #ellie tlou #tlou hbo #henry burrell #henry tlou x fem!reader #oc x female reader #oc x reader #Tommy miller #maria the last of us #writing #angst

[damn-stark]

New character intros for Tragedy at the Miller’s

Apollo Holloway, 24, y/n’s best friend, Atlas’s older brother, (parents were history professors before the outbreak, given their names), former firefly (parents served the firefly’s alongside Tommy before defecting and joining Jackson) smartass, loyal and selfless (believes in no one left behind). Leader of their current group.

Current residence; Jackson

Mia, 26, former firefly, orphan (taken under Eugene Linden’s wing after he found her about to get swarmed by infected when she was a teenager) shy, selfish (only saves those she truly loves), resourceful, mother of the group, y/n’s best friend.

Current residence; Jackson

Atlas Holloway, 22, former firefly, sometimes too unserious for his own good, flirty, usually involved in y/n’s plays at Jackson, is trying to be like his brother but fails from time to time because he gives to his anger, and his childish ways.

Current residence; Jackson

They’re all housemates with y/n

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #henry tlou x fem!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #face claims

[damn-stark]

Me waiting for Henry & Sam to show up to continue writing for Tragedy at the Miller’s, but also me thinking of the most devastating scenes with Henry and y/n, that will parallel Joel losing Sarah…

#fanfiction #damn-stark #henry tlou x fem!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tragedy at the millers #Henry tlou

[damn-stark]

Tragedy at the Miller’s Chapter 3 spoilers without context

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #henry burrell #henry tlou x fem!reader #Henry tlou #Henry Burrell fanfiction #Joel miller #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller fanfiction #tlou ellie #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #chapter 3

[damn-stark]

GUYS. GUYS!

I’m not okay, this second chapter of Tragedy at the Millers is really kicking my ass…I hope you guys are ready for it…cause I can’t stop crying…

#fanfiction #damn-stark #joel miller x daughter!reader #henry tlou x fem!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tragedy at the millers

[damn-stark]

Sneak peek for chapter 2 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

#fanfiction #damn-stark #henry tlou x fem!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tragedy at the millers

[damn-stark]

Oh I can’t wait to write for episode 6!!!

Tommy and y/n reunion!!

#fanfiction #damn-stark #henry tlou x fem!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tragedy at the millers