#bucky barnes x reader
↳ james buchanan barnes x reader → ❝first glance❞
word count: 5.3k
summary: bucky is a regular at the coffee shop you work at and you find yourself enamored with the mysterious man. as you get to know him you realize he has secrets he’s not ready to reveal but that doesn’t mean others won’t.
tags/warning: overall fluff, light angst, strangers to lovers, kidnapping tw, angst with happy ending
a/n: i love bucky. i’ll probably write for them again soon.
At first glance, James Buchanan Barnes was a normal man. An extremely handsome man but a normal man. That’s what you thought the first time he came into the coffee shop you worked at. You saw a lot of people come through every day but he always stood out to you. He was tall and handsome but he had a look in his brown eyes that pulled you in. It was almost sad, something about him said to stay away but that only pulled you in more.
It was understandably frowned upon to flirt with customers, not that you were the type to flirt with someone in the first place. Even if you did show interest in him you doubted he would return it. So you continued through life normally but you found it was hard to shake the thought of him.
Daydreams of the handsome man that stopped by every morning at the same time and ordered the same black coffee every day were a common occurrence. It was nice to imagine him asking for your number or him offering to walk you home because it was dark out after your shift. If you were feeling really dramatic you could imagine him pulling you out of the street just in time to avoid a car. You sighed as you finished making a customer's coffee. This wasn’t a movie, he wasn’t some Avenger that was going to save you from a perilous scene.
Glancing at the clock you saw it was about time for him to show up. Ten minutes passed and there was no sign of him. An hour later you found yourself worried. You internally sighed at yourself, you knew it wasn’t healthy to worry about a stranger so much. Maybe he was on vacation. Maybe he just didn’t want coffee today. Maybe he was hurt. You shook your head. Just focus on getting done with this shift.
“Welcome.” You at the chime of the bell on the door without looking to see who had walked in. Looking up from cleaning the counter you were surprised to see just the man you had been worried about. Even with the counter between you and him, the height difference felt big. “Oh, you’re late.” You said without thinking. He raised an eyebrow.
“Accidentally slept in.” He explained. “You keep track of all your customers.”
“I’m sorry.” You stuttered out your face warming up. “Just the regulars I guess.” You said sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck. It wasn’t exactly a lie, you did notice when other regulars missed a day but not usually when they were an hour late.
“You don’t have to apologize.” He said. “Perks of small coffee shops.”
You smiled at him nervously. This was the most you had ever talked to him. It was hard to miss how tied he looked, the bags under his eyes. Maybe he should have slept in more.
“Black coffee?” You asked.
“Yeah.” He replied handing the cash over.
A few moments later you had his coffee in hand but a thought popped into your head. You grabbed one of the fresh blueberry muffins. Moving back to the counter you handed him his drink before handing him the blueberry muffin. You watched as he raised his eyes at the sight of the pastry.
“You look like you could use it.” You said. “Unless you don’t like blueberries, I can grab something else-”
“I like blueberries.” He said cutting off your nervous rambling. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” He said with a smile that made your heart flutter. For just a moment you saw a warmth in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “My name’s Bucky, by the way.”
“Bucky. Nice to meet you.” You said before giving him your name.
You would be lying if you said you didn’t think about that encounter for longer than necessary. I mean how could you get someone like that out of your head. Especially his smile, it was the first time you had ever seen him smile.
The next day you had off of work. You were more than excited to spend the day doing whatever you wanted. Your day was planned out, you had some errands to run but you also were going to stop by your favorite book store and a few other fun things. Your day was going nicely but the last thing you expected was to run into Bucky.
He was easy to spot even in the crowded street. For a moment you panicked, should you say hello or keep walking? Your nervous inner dialogue was interrupted by the look on his face. He looked lost, almost out of it.
Before you could overthink it you walked up to him and touched his arm.
“Bucky?” You questioned. “Are you okay?”
Bucky looked down at you, eyes wide. For a moment it looked like he was taking in his surroundings, almost in a frantic manner.
“I’m sorry.” He said, he sounded stressed out. “I got lost in thought.”
“Don’t apologize. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” You said.
“I’m fine, thank you.” He said. “Not used to seeing you without an apron.” He joked.
“With how much I work I’m not used to seeing myself without an apron.” You laughed. This was your shot, you weren’t working, you were having a nice conversation with him so far. “I was just about to get lunch around the corner, if you wanted to join me?” You offered. Mentally you high-fived yourself for saying that like a normal person and not some kind of stalker.
“Yeah, I was actually about to ask you if you were free for lunch.” He said. Wow, not only did he agree but he had been thinking the same thing. Maybe you weren’t the most hopeless person when it came to the dating scene. At least not today.
If you thought asking was nerve-wracking sitting across the table from him was even worse. Somehow every topic evaded you as you pretended to read the menu intently.
“Do you come here often?” He asked.
“Not a lot but I do like to come here after running some errands, it’s like a reward for being responsible on my day off instead of laying in bed and playing video games or reading.” You explained, Bucky smiled.
“What do you usually get?” He asked.
“The sandwiches are really good.” You said. “I like the turkey pesto sandwich and you can get a salad or soup with it. I’ve never had anything I didn’t like here.”
You were thankful for the food-related conversation until you could come up with a normal question to ask him. The waitress came over to take your orders, you didn’t miss the way she eyed Bucky. You couldn’t blame her. You did the same thing at work. After she took both of your orders you moved to take a drink of your water but in your nerve-fueled clumsiness, you knocked your sunglasses that had been sitting on the table onto the ground.
“Oops, I’m sorry.” You said reaching for them but Bucky was quicker grabbing them and handing them back to you. His gloved hand brushes yours as he places them in the palm of your hand. “Thank you.”
It’s hard not to wonder why he always wears gloves, you can’t recall ever seeing him without them even on warm days. You aren’t the type to ask pressing questions, especially after barely knowing him. What if he had some skin problem? It would be rude to call him out or make him feel like he had to explain.
“Are you from New York originally?” He asked.
“No, I'm actually from California.” You explained. “I came here for school but then the blip happened. The school shut down, most of the professors were gone. My family was all gone, there was no point in going back home so I stayed here. I guess I lost my motivation to go to school after everything. Then since everyone’s been back I haven’t been able to face my family, five years I had no one. No one had hope,” You paused, it was hard reflecting on that time. “How am I supposed to be the same person my parents remembered me as?”
Bucky stared at you intently as you realized how deep things had gotten. His look wasn’t one of judgment or even awkwardness at the heavy subject, he looked at you like he understood.
“I’m sorry, I guess I haven’t really talked about it to anyone. That was a lot.” You said sheepishly.
“It’s okay, I understand.” He didn’t elaborate but you could feel he meant it. You wondered if he had disappeared with the blip or not but you didn’t want to pry.
Lunch went well, after the heavy subject things lightened up and you found yourself really enjoying his company. You were glad you had been brave enough to ask him.
“Could I get your number?” He asked as the two of you exited the cafe. You were surprised at how sheepish he had asked. He didn’t seem like the type who would be shy. No doubt he had a lot of women after him.
“Yeah, of course.” You said handing him your phone with the contact open. He typed his number in and handed it back. You send him a quick text to give him your number. “This was really nice.”
“I’d like to do this again sometime.” He said.
“I’d like that.” You smiled.
With a bit of bravery and chance, you had finally gotten to spend time with your coffee shop crush. The reality of it was now hitting you. He liked you enough to at least spend lunch with you and offer to do it again. Now your crush felt less like a daydream and more real.
Work was interesting, seeing Bucky had been the highlight of your shift before but now it was pretty much the consistent highlight of your day. Instead of just ordering your encounter with him usually entailed some talk about your day or what book you had read recently. It turned out Bucky was more than happy to take book recommendations which led to the two of you having a good conversation about whatever books he had read. It was nice to not only talk about something you enjoyed but to have something to bond over with your new friend.
Getting a text from Bucky was a common occurrence. Your conversations would linger through the day. You often teased him about how he texted like an old man. You promised to teach him how to text like a normal person one day. It wasn’t rare for you or him to talk about hanging out more but you had been taking a lot of shifts at work and Bucky had his own things going on even if he didn’t exactly give many details.
It was late, somehow your morning shift had turned into working an entire day at the coffee shop which you doubted was legal but you wouldn’t complain about getting some overtime. Closing was always a pain but you finally had finished. You had been complaining to Bucky over text all day about work.
Locking up the store you nearly screamed as you realized someone was standing behind you in the dark.
“I’m sorry,” The familiar voice of Bucky said. Realizing it was him you let out a breath.
“You almost scared me to death.” You said clutching your chest. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized.
“It’s okay, I’m not used to closing.” You said. It surprised you just how dark it was around your workplace, evidently, the city couldn’t keep up on their streetlights. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just thought it’s dark out and I know it’s not always safe around here, I thought I could walk you home if you don’t mind.” He said.
It was hard to keep your heart from fluttering at his words. You didn’t think that men thought that way anymore, it seemed most guys these days thought more of what they could get out of a relationship than what they could do for someone else. Not that he was your boyfriend or anything.
“That’s really sweet, Bucky.” You said. “I’d love that.”
Bucky wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t the best place to be at night, and walking home in the dark always made you nervous. One of the reasons you preferred the morning shift. Tonight you didn’t have to worry about that thankfully.
The two of you walked along the sidewalk talking about different things. Bucky was an interesting person to talk to. He had a lot of personality but at the same time, it felt like he was holding back sometimes. Maybe not holding back but like there was a wall. You could understand. After the blip, it was hard to be yourself, more often than not you felt like a ghost of who you used to be. With Bucky, you could feel that person returning.
It was hard to resist the curiosity that burned in you sometimes. What was he holding back? Why did he wear gloves all the time? Why did he act so old-fashioned sometimes? You supposed there were most likely normal answers to all of those questions. He probably went through some trauma like most of the world if not all had recently. You were either blipped and came back to a different world or you had to survive losing the people you cared for the most. Like you thought before about the gloves he probably had a skin condition and him being old-fashioned could be he was raised by his grandparents.
In the back of your head, your head that was filled with too many mystery novels and fantasy stories, you wondered if it all added up to something else. A girl could dream. Growing up with your head in a book really left a lot to be desired when real-life showed you how plain it could be.
Granted you did live in a world where there were superheroes and villains who made half the population disappear. You doubted you would ever dip your toe into any of that excitement. It was probably for the better, you certainly didn’t have any powers and you didn’t think you were tough enough for any of that.
“Thank you for walking me home, Bucky.” You said stopping in front of your apartment building. “Seriously, that’s really thoughtful of you. It made my exhausting day a lot better.”
“Of course.” He said. “Before you go I wanted to ask if you wanted to get dinner tomorrow.”
“That sounds great, we can talk about that new book you got. You have to get to chapter five by tomorrow!” You told him.
“I’ll try and do that.” He smiled.
You headed into your apartment feeling a lot lighter than you had getting off of work.
Oblivious felt like a strong word to use for yourself, especially considering you thought you were quite observant but Bucky was a blindspot if you ever had one. In hindsight, you could see the signs, the slight sound of nervousness in his voice or maybe the way he leaned towards you ever so slightly. The clearest sign was the face he made when you agreed so casually. You had a long day in your defense.
When you opened your apartment door to Bucky standing there in a nice shirt and slacks with a bouquet of flowers it hit you like a train.
He asked you out on a date.
You stared at him blankly for a second. Could you play it off like you totally knew the whole time? Maybe but you were wearing jeans and a shirt and it felt hardly appropriate.
“I’m realizing that I may have misinterpreted things and I am underdressed.” You said. Bucky raised an eyebrow.
“You mean,” He paused for a moment. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” You said shamefully.
“If you don’t want to go we don’t have to, you can pretend this never happened.” He offered. Bless his heart.
“No, no!” You said shaking your hands. “I want to but can I change real quick?”
“Of course.” He said.
“Here, come inside.” You said pulling him into your apartment. “I’m so sorry, just a second.”
Maybe it was good you didn’t know or else you probably would have spent three hours trying to get ready. The pressure of trying to keep him from waiting too long was a good incentive to pick an outfit fast. You grabbed your go-to ‘nice occasion’ dress and threw it on. It wasn’t too dressy but it wasn’t overly casual. The rest of your look would just have to do.
“I’m sorry, I tried to hurry.” You said. Bucky stood from his place on the couch he had been sitting at.
“You look beautiful.” He said. His intense brown eyes bore into yours.
“You look really nice, a lot more prepared than me.” You laughed sheepishly.
“I’m sorry, I should have made it more clear. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date.” He admitted.
“I can be a bit oblivious when it comes to these things, it’s not your fault.” You told him. “It’s been a long time for me too.”
For being absolutely mentally unprepared for a date it went well. Better than well. You loved being around Bucky, talking to him, laughing with him. There was something about his presence that made you feel safe. He was kind and caring, almost too good to be true.
That night was the beginning of something beautiful, you spent most of your free time with Bucky. Most nights he would hang out with you at your apartment and read together, talking about the books and eating dinner. It was peaceful. A part of you was shocked at how easily you fell into a comfortable routine with him. It was domestic but you liked it.
The two of you sat together on your couch as rain poured against the window. You leaned against Bucky as you flipped the page of your book. It had been a few weeks of dating now and you hadn’t yet kissed Bucky. You weren’t exactly sure what the timeline was with these things and he hadn’t made a move and you were nervous. The scene in your book had brought the subject up in your mind. The female lead had finally kissed her love interest, it was dramatic and passionate after a near-death experience. You weren’t expecting that for you and Bucky but you wondered when the right time was.
Tilting your head up you looked at Bucky as he looked at his book with focused eyes. You took in his strong handsome features.
“Can I help you, doll?” He said glancing at you.
“Just looking.” You said.
“Not much of a sight.” He joked.
“I’d disagree.” You smiled. This moment felt perfect, your head resting against his chest was comforting. A light blush dusted his cheeks.
Just like that, the moment was calm and warm and you felt it was the perfect time. You leaned up ever so slightly and he quickly caught on. His gloved hand moved to your cheek, guiding you softly to him as your lips brushed.
After a moment you pulled back taking a deep breath. His brown eyes were soft and warm. You turned, sitting up more so you could go in for another kiss. You grasped his left bicep for stability, as you did you felt him freeze. Instead of the soft give, you expected it was hard as a wall. You tried your best not to react and went in for the kiss.
Your mind raced to try to understand what you had felt. Did he have a prosthetic arm? Was that why he wore the gloves to cover it up? You were glad that you didn’t bring it up. If he was self-conscious about it you weren’t going to make him feel like he had to talk about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to know but you respected his privacy too much to be nosey.
Bucky went with your ignorance and you never questioned him. He would tell you when he was ready and you wouldn’t force it.
More time passed and while the questions you had were in the background of your mind you never pushed. You loved what you had with Bucky and you wouldn’t ruin it.
It was nice falling into the rhythm of life with Bucky. It was comfortable. The last thing you expected was for things to be shattered.
See you later ;)
You shook your head with a laugh at Bucky’s text. He was using emoticons which was a step up from nothing but he still texted like an old man and you wouldn’t stop teasing him until he did.
The two of you had a date planned later, you were looking forward to getting dressed up and going out with him. Your shift was almost over and then you were free.
This time you had planned out a whole look, you had even gotten a dress for the date. It was modern with a vintage inspiration. Taking your time to do your hair and makeup you were going to look good tonight.
Bucky had sent you the address but told you that it was a surprise. You could look up what the place was but you didn’t want to ruin it. It wasn’t far from your apartment so you decided to walk. The night was nice and you found yourself with a pep in your step on the way there.
It happened so fast. A car pulled up and two men hopped out. Before you could do anything they grabbed you and dragged you in. You struggled against them but a cloth was put over your face and everything faded to black.
Waking up you found yourself in a dark room. You felt sore, hands bound behind your back, and stuck to a chair.
“You’re probably confused.” A voice said. “Why would a nice girl like you end up in a situation like this. Maybe it’s just the wrong time, the wrong place. It’s not.”
“Who are you?” You asked, voice raw.
“That doesn’t matter. You should be asking who your boyfriend is.” He said. How did Bucky have anything to do with this.
A light flickered and a projection lit up the wall. Surveillance footage shown on the screen.
“You’re probably thinking you found a nice guy. No secrets, no skeletons in his closet but you haven’t.” He said.
The video continued to play, it was hard to make out what was happening. A man ran on the sidewalk, it looked like he was being chased. It was almost a blur the way the figure entered the scene. In all black, this man grabbed the other man by the throat and pinned him against the wall. The man struggled before going limp.
The screen cut to another scene, a hotel lobby, a man running, the same figure in black again with a gun. The man fleeing dropped dead as a shot rang out.
It kept going, people being killed by this man in black with long hair and a mask. You were confused, why was this being shown to you. Who was this man?
The next video was close, it looked more recent than the other ones. The camera was in a point of view perspective. The man in black approached, his left arm was made of shining metal. The man struggled with the assassin before he took a hit, the black mask falling off.
“No.” You breathed out. The assassin’s face was familiar to you, it was your boyfriend. It was Bucky.
“This man has killed countless people, killed my family.” He said. “I’m going to make him pay.”
“He wouldn’t, he’s not like that.” You said, tears burning in your eyes. Bucky wouldn’t, he was so kind. Your Bucky couldn’t do that. “He couldn’t.”
“He did.” The man said. “Should I play more, how much will it take to make you realize.”
“Please don’t.” You cried, your head hanging down. You couldn’t stand to see anymore. You couldn’t believe this.
“It doesn’t matter.” He said. “He’ll be here soon no doubt. I wouldn’t want you looking unscathed.”
The man approached you before hitting you across the face. The pain burning in your cheek tried to distract you from what you just found out. How could that be your Bucky? Another strike across the face.
“I can’t kill him but I can take away the one thing he cares about.” The man said.
“Please don’t kill me.”
“I’m not going to kill you, that would be too easy. No, the pain of the woman he cares about hating him for the monster he is is the best revenge I could ever have.”
It felt like forever, the man had hurt you no doubt leaving bruises and cuts all over you. You didn’t know if you could feel any worse both inside and out.
A loud crash brought you out of your miserable state. Your head felt dizzy from pain as you tried to look around. Noises continued until the door slammed open revealing Bucky. He caught sight of you and rushed to your side.
“Doll, are you okay?” He asked, his voice sounded so small and scared. Your blurry eyes tried to focus on him.
“Bucky.” You said. A part of you was relieved to see him, to have his strong hands on your arms. The comfort that washed over you was quickly replaced with the ice of remembering what you had learned. You were so tired mentally and physically all you could do was cry.
Bucky untied you, as he did the man who had planned this all entered.
“You must be thinking you did it, you saved the girl in time before something terrible happened.” He said. “But you’re too late. She knows who you really are now and nothing you can do will ever change that.”
Bucky’s eyes widened, quickly understanding what he was saying. He didn’t hesitate in taking the man down, handcuffing him, and leaving him on the ground. He returned to you, kneeling in front of you.
“Doll, I have a lot to explain if you’ll let me but I need to get you to a hospital first.” He said. You nodded weakly, too tired to do anything else. Bucky carefully gathered you in his arms, arms that had killed so many people. He walked the both of you out.
While your injuries were painful, they weren’t severe. You didn’t have a concussion or any permanent damage. You were bandaged up, prescribed some pain pills, and sent home.
Bucky took you home and you wondered what could possibly be explained about what you had learned. Had he been killing people all this time? Was that what he was doing when you weren’t with him. How could you be so blind?
Bucky helped you into your apartment and settled you on the chaise lounge part of your couch, fluffing the pillows around you before going to the kitchen. He returned with some toast, a glass of water, and your pain pills.
“I can explain everything now or you can get some sleep first. Or I can walk out that door and never come back if that’s what you want.” He said.
“I want to know. He showed me videos. It was you but I can’t believe it was you.” Tears started to well up in your eyes again.
“It is but it also isn’t.” He said sitting down carefully by you but not close as he usually would. “It’s a really long story and it’s going to sound unreal but I promise you it’s the truth.”
“Okay.” You said.
“I was born in 1917, I was best friends with Steve Rogers. When he became Captain America I worked side by side with him. When we were on a mission I fell from a train in the mountains to what people thought was my death. Hell, I thought it was my death until I woke up in a lab. I was turned into a super-soldier by Hydra and they brainwashed me into being an assassin. They froze me and every time they needed something done they brought me out to take care of it. I’ve killed a lot of people, good and bad. It wasn’t my choice but it was me.” He explained.
You stared at him blankly. Your boyfriend was one hundred and six years old and a former brainwashed assassin. That wasn’t what you were expecting. And he was friends with Captain America.
“So is Steve Roger’s really on the moon?” You asked. Bucky’s serious expression broke as he let out a loud laugh.
“I give you all that and that’s what you have to ask?” He laughed.
“Felt like the safest question.” You said.
“I was expecting something like, are you still brainwashed or why didn’t you tell me.” He said.
“That felt a bit rude.”
“I lied to you about my past and you’re worried about being rude.”
“You didn’t really lie, just didn’t tell me everything. I can understand why it’s a bit heavy for a first date.” You said. Bucky gave you a soft smile. “The way you avoided the Steve question makes me think he’s on the moon, to be honest.” Bucky laughed.
“He’s not on the moon,” Bucky answered. “How can you be so casual about this.”
“Well first of all I’m on pain meds, second I didn’t want to believe what he told me. What he showed me.” You said. “I couldn’t believe that was you but it wasn’t you. If you were brainwashed that wasn’t you.”
Bucky stared at you in disbelief.
“Just like that.” He said.
“I’m not saying that I don’t have any questions or I’m not still a bit shaken but Bucky, I love you. You’re an amazing man and it’s going to take more than that to scare me away.” You said.
“If that doesn’t do it then I think you might be unscarable.” He said. “I love you too, more than I thought was even possible.”
Bucky leaned in for a soft kiss, his gloved hand brushing against your cheek. You melted into the kiss. Once he leaned back you touched his left arm, hand sliding down to his hand.
“Can I?” You asked, touching the top of the glove. He nodded softly. You pulled the glove off to reveal the black metal arm. You reached to the top of his jacket for the zipper looking into his brown eyes for another ‘okay’. You zipped it down sliding it off. The arm was amazing, the gold detail was intricate. “It’s beautiful.” You said looking up at him. You slide your hand into his, intertwining your fingers with his.
Bucky couldn’t resist leaning in for another kiss overwhelmed with emotion for you.
“I love you so much.” He said against your lips.
“I love you too. All of you.” You said.
After the intimate moment, you found yourself overcome with drowsiness. Bucky noticed this and helped you to your bed, getting you comfortable.
“Please stay with me.” You asked.
“Okay.” He said sitting down on your bed. You leaned over pulling tugging at his arm.
“Can you hold me?” You asked.
“Oh.” He said. Getting into bed with you, you didn’t hesitate to curl up on his chest. He wrapped his arm around you pulling you close, resting his head against you.
“Thank you, for everything.” You said.
“I should be apologizing.” He said.
“It wasn’t the best of circumstances but I’m here with you and I feel even closer to you now. I see that as a win.” You explained.
“I love you.” He said again. “Sleep now, I’ll be right here. You’ll be safe with me.”
“My hero.” You said as you nuzzled into his chest.
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Lovers: Part 8
He was a beast in human form. He was a beast with sharp teeth and razor sharp claws, ready to tear the aggressor limb from limb with one singular swipe of his hand. He was a monster eagerly waiting in the shadows to pounce on the unsuspecting life that had threatened his mate, his darling.
He had a beast’s vision, eyes burning with animosity and rage that could only be satisfied if his target had felt the same quaking fear that had been instilled upon his inamorata.
He would not be stopped, nothing would stand in his way from enacting some form of revenge on the piece of filth that dared cross the line that should not have been crossed.
He threatened their girl. He threatened their mate.
He put his hands on their omega to cause harm, to force you into submission that was not his to request. He cornered you with animosity, the rut driven craze that would’ve indefinitely hurt you.
Bucky felt that rage, that animalistic and violent alpha rage surging through his veins at the thought of that piece of shit putting his hands on you.
Bucky felt that urge to do right by you. He felt the urge to corner John Walker and make him feel the same fear you had felt.
And he was not alone.
Steve was right there with him.
Steve, the level headed ex-captain, was by his side.
“Where is he?” Bucky only had to ask once. He only had to question the agent in Walker’s rank one time, before he received the answer.
Bucky was an animal, he was a predator ready to strike. His jaw was clenched as he moved toward the training room where Walker was, his angry strides parting any crowd he happened upon. No one was liking to get in his way.
To get in their way.
He stopped outside of his targeted destination waiting for a small moment before he lift his leg and kicked the door clean off its hinges with the heel of hit boots. The doors went flying into the room, the wood splintered where the hinges had been ripped from the frame, the split wood laying obtusely on the floor as he stepped over them.
“Walker.” Bucky spat his name, his brilliant blue eyes darkened and narrowed into a deadly glare. He scoped out the room, successfully finding his target standing near the back of the room.
John Walker’s eyes flashed with fear, the wheels turning in his head for a way to escape.
He wouldn’t have the chance. Bucky wouldn’t let him. Steve wouldn’t let him.
“I didn’t know-“ Bucky was on him in a moment.
Bucky had grabbed the front of his shirt with his vibranium arm to pick him up with ease. As John Walker was held above Bucky’s by the front of his shirt, the fucker started to ramble off an excuse for why he was there.
“You threatened her.” Bucky threw John against the weights sitting on the metal rack, the force of his throw causing the prick to knock over the stand. He didn’t have a chance to stand, he didn’t have a chance to fight back before he was grabbed again.
“You put your hands on her.” He was thrown again, this time his back connected with the far wall, the plaster chipping and crumbling at his feet.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” He held up his hands to defend himself against Bucky’s attack. “She was unmarked!”
Bucky slammed his fist into Walker’s stomach, knocking the wind out of the pathetic man, cutting off his weak apology before he could get a chance to utter another word.
“Barnes!” His last name was called by the arrival of Sam and Natasha, the pair of them ready to break up the fight, even though they had no right. “You need to let him go.”
Bucky lift up his body by his throat, sneering at the man as he whimpered like a kicked dog. Bucky wanted to do more damage, he wanted to tear him apart, yet he knew it wouldn’t have been fair to Steve.
“Leave them, Nat.” Sam said. “They deserve this. He deserves this.”
That was all it took. Bucky had thrown him again, batting him around like a cat toy. He was nothing to them, he was nothing but scum yet he had to learn.
“You think its okay to corner omega’s!?” It was Steve’s turn to teach Walker, and his temper was glaring just as badly as Bucky’s.
“I didn’t-“ Steve’s hit Walker square in the jaw, hearing a sickly satisfying crunch as his bone broke from Steve’s raw power.
“If you ever,” Steve threatened, causing blood to gush from Walker’s nose and ears as he hit him, “come near our omega again, it’ll be the last fucking thing you do.”
There was one more punch, one more hit, and then Steve let Walker’s limp body hit the floor. He walked away from the bleeding man, following Bucky out of the training room without looking back.
Their message had gotten across well enough.
Your heat cycle was starting. You could feel the pain starting to settle into your pelvic area, your pelvic bone itself hurting as if it was dipped into liquid fire.
You were sitting through this heat alone, deciding to wait until you and Steve and Bucky had known each other better before you shared a heat with them.
You trusted them, you admired them greatly. You thought they would make astounding alpha’s and so did your heart and body.
Your heart and body had decided for you that Steve and Bucky were the alpha’s you were waiting for, judging by the way you felt around them. It was the ethereal way butterflies burst in your stomach, and your heart slipped a beat when you thought of both of them, that made you hyper aware that your heart and body had already decided.
And one day, one day soon enough, you would give into those desires. However, this heat cycle you would spend alone. You wanted to have a relationship that was built on more than just horniness and raging hormones.
When the time was right for you and Steve and Bucky to share a rut and heat cycle, there would be no hesitations. There would be no holdbacks or second guessing, it would all be completely natural and authentic.
This heat would be spent alone, however just because you didn’t have Steve and Bucky with you physically didn’t mean you couldn’t have their scent with you.
Before you had left the tower after the incident, to spend your heat by yourself, you had asked Steve and Bucky if you could take something of theirs to have their scent with you during your cycle.
They had honoured your request, though not in the way you assumed they would. Normally, an alpha would provide the omega with one of their shirts to cuddle with if the pair was separated. Steve and Bucky however, did not provide you with a shirt or a sweater.
Instead of providing you with clothing, your two alpha’s had given you two massive California king sized blankets that they had slept with for a few nights before giving it to you.
When you first received it, yet not in your heat, you had appreciated the blankets and had even thanked them profusely, however now that you were in your heat, the gift had taken a whole new meaning.
Once your heat had hit, you wanted nothing but the blankets. You had wrapped yourself up in the soft material, enveloping yourself in the scents of two strong alpha’s, who would one day soon be yours.
You had nested in one of the blanket’s, creating a sort of igloo cocoon out of the other California king blanket by securing it to your walls above your bed with duct tape like a tapestry that made you feel warm and fuzzy. You were surrounded by their scent and that was the best sense of ease you could’ve ever gained without having them there.
After you’d gotten yourself nestled and comfortable, you propped your cellphone up on your night stand and asked the expensive technology to video call your boys.
You laid comfortably in your bed, nuzzling their blanket when the call was put through. The first face you had seen was Steve’s and between the pleasant warmth building between your thighs and the soft sound of a coo slipping from your lips had once again told you all you needed to know.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” He asked, his eyes searching your face through the screen. “I can’t wait to see you again.”
You trilled in pleasure, rubbing your cheek against their blanket. “Can’t get enough of me, Rogers?”
“Never enough.” Steve leaned in closer to the screen, his blue-green eyes flashing. “You’re taking care of yourself?”
You hummed, feeling the licks of heat starting to grow with intensity. It wouldn’t be long until you were in a full blown, unstoppable heat that would last until you were spent and fulfilled, which could take days.
“The blankets help.” You crooned. “I love smelling like you.”
He smiled and you melted.
“When you’re done your heat, can we take you out again?” After Steve posed the question, he stepped back, giving you a better view of what you assumed was the inside of their suite.
“You got your ass kicked at laser tag once. You really want your ass kicked again?” You grinned cheekily.
“Oh no sweetheart,” Steve’s smile matched your own, “this time we’re playing America’s pastime.”
“Baseball?” You questioned, shifting how you laid on the bed.
“Yeah doll,” Steve licked his bottom lip, the act far more erotic than it may have been meant, “I wanna see you in those tight baseball pants and those knee high socks.”
“Any excuse to stare at my ass.” You chirped, a half smirk on your face. “What would America think if they knew that their golden boy was an ass man?”
“I’m not just an ass man, babe.” Steve came to his own defence. “I’m also very found of your breasts.”
Heat, powerful and strong like lightning, had shot straight to your core, kickstarting your heat. To combat the sudden jerk in your hormones and your heat, you twist the blanket into a makeshift rope and slowly started to grind yourself against it.
“Aww,” Steve crooned, “are you in your heat, baby?”
You couldn’t answer him, you could only grind against the blanket between your legs and moan.
“I’ll call you later.” You ended the call and tossed your phone, promising yourself to get it later when you were in more control of yourself.
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Istg i am gonna cry
You guys i posted a chapter which took me soooo longg only has like 30 notes :( If you see this give it a read pls? pls? i worked really hard on it! Here is the Materialist for it. Thank youu i love u guys
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heavy || bucky barnes
Summary: reader’s mental health has been taking a decline and bucky is there.
Pairing: TFATWS Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: talks of mental health, depression, anxiety, angst, cussing.
Word Count: 3.2K
A/N: Hey guys, I’m back I guess lmao. I’ve really been struggling with my mental health lately and I guess I kinda just wanted to put it into words, something productive? And I’ve been feeling our angsty emo boy bucky barnes. Most of you might’ve followed me for my Oscar fics but I kinda wanna branch out and I thought this would be a good time to do so. Anyways, I know that some of you have inboxed me or messaged me and I haven’t responded and I’m sorry. But I just want you all to know that if you’re struggling, I’m always here to talk. About anything, always. So, I hope you enjoy this. I might’ve cried while writing this lmao and I also might’ve ended it on such an awkward place but, i’m still getting used to writing again. (Flashbacks are in italics)
Bucky didn’t miss the dark circles under your eyes. He didn’t miss the way you sort of slouched as you approached him. He didn’t miss the way that your smile didn’t really meet your eyes.
“Hey,” You said in a breathless voice. “Sorry, I’m late. I got held up.” You said as you took a seat across from him in the booth. Held up. It was better than telling him that you were thinking of just not showing up at all. In the end, you knew that you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t just blow off your new friend who you had so enjoyed spending time with. So, in a rush, you got dressed and made your way to the small, quiet diner that you two had taken to frequenting together. Bucky Barnes was an enigma if you’d ever met one. The way that you had met was rather.. cliche and something straight from a story.
You had been trying to lay off of the caffeine for a while, realizing that you had nearly gone through an entire packet of 32 k-pods that you had just purchased. You realized that you might’ve had a problem. You had been going pretty strong with staying away from caffeine for the time being, until you passed by a coffee shop and got a whiff of coffee. You just couldn’t help yourself; you bought a cup of coffee. It was when you were walking down the street, holding the cup of coffee in one hand, looking down, that you didn’t see someone walking right in your path. You had collided into what seemed like a solid wall and the impact had caused you to squeeze the cup of coffee in surprise, the warm liquid burning your hand, staining your clothes and the other person. You had realized it was another person you had crashed into when you heard them let out a low cuss.
Bucky’s grumpy self had been fully prepared to tell you off for crashing into him, having just left his therapist’s office, but when you looked up at him with those bright eyes of yours, a million apologies spilling from your lips a mile a minute, he swallowed whatever harsh words had nearly sprung forth. He had apologized as well; both of you had been at fault. Bucky had been going over his session with Dr. Raynor that morning, completely lost in his own mind, and you had your eyes trained on the ground, something that was a bad habit of yours. The shock of realizing you had bumped into a man, a really really handsome man with the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen, had made you temporarily forget that you had practically scorched your hand with the coffee, and that you had gotten it on him as well.
“I’m so, so sorry.” You said once again, quickly averting your eyes from the handsome stranger’s face. Instead you focused on the smushed cup in your hand and the stains on his leather jacket. It just made you feel even terrible. “I, I can pay for you to get your jacket cleaned, if you want. Really. I wasn’t paying attention and I just, for whatever reason, squished my cup and.. I’m sorry.” You said, kind of breathlessly.
“It’s.. it’s alright.” His voice was like the coffee that you had been drinking. Smooth and rich. It was deep, something that reverberated deep in your chest and had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. “I wasn’t paying attention either. Really, it’s fine. And don’t worry about my jacket. No harm, no foul.” He said. “You should, uh, you should take care of that hand. Hope you didn’t burn yourself too bad.” He gestured to your hand, still clutching the cup, with one of his own gloved hands.
“Oh, I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that hot. Thank you, though. And again, I’m really, really sorry.” Sparing one, seemingly, last glance at the handsome stranger, you side stepped him and began to walk away, tossing the empty cup of coffee in a trash can on the sidewalk. But you didn’t get very far because that deep voice called out to you, halting you in your tracks.
“Can I buy you another cup of coffee?” Bucky’s mouth had opened and spoken the words long before his brain could even catch up. He didn’t know why he had asked you that, but something in his gut was just telling him too.
“What?” A look of total bewilderment had crossed your face and he had seen it.
“I just, well I thought that, since I bumped into you, I could make it up to you by buying you a new cup of coffee. If you wanted, I mean. You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.” Bucky clarified, hand stuffed in his pocket, waiting for your answer. For a few seconds, you simply stood there, unsure of what to say because surely this wasn’t happening? The last time that you had gone out with a guy was.. well, shit, you didn’t even remember the last time. The little voice in the back of your head, that anxious, paranoid little voice, was telling you not to go off with a stranger. You’d watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds and other true crime shows and documentaries to know that situations like this never turned out well. However, you didn’t get a bad feeling from this particular man. He seemed just as awkward and slightly frazzled as you felt. So you agreed.
“I’m Bucky, by the way.”
That had happened about two months ago. Ever since then, you and Bucky had formed a strong friendship. Your first time getting coffee with him had been awkward, as were the next few times that you had seen one another. But things got easier. Becoming friends was easy. You kind of fell into this routine, almost as if you two had known each other your whole lives. That was why Bucky telling you who he really was had been terrifying for him. He carried around guilt and shame and just contempt for everything he’d done. Everything The Winter Soldier represented, and when he told you, he figured that you would think the same. He had asked you meet him at the diner that had now become your spot and and you remember how he nervously wrung his gloved hands together. You remember when you asked him what was wrong and he didn’t verbally respond but he took off his gloves; the right one first and then the left, revealing a shiny black metal hand, golden lines intricately placed.
He told you then. Maybe he didn’t tell you everything but he told you who he was and he had braced himself for you to get up and storm out. Or, to yell at him and tell him how much of a monster he was. But, it never came. Instead, you reached out and placed your hand on top his. Not his real hand, but the metal one. You didn’t say anything. You just gave him that smile that was quickly becoming his favorite. Sometimes, silence spoke a thousand words. To Bucky, you had become kind of a respite for him. Even in the late nights or mornings when he woke up after a nightmare. Or after a particularly hard session with Dr. Raynor. He had closed himself off from other people except you.
Bucky might not have known it, but he gave you the same level of comfort as you gave him. You found yourself craving his presence. Every time you were around him, you couldn’t help but to smile or laugh. In the time that you spent together, your mind was clear and free from all your worries. It all evaporated into thin air. Your mind, usually so active with all sorts of thoughts and worries, could finally rest when you were with Bucky. You could sleep. You could get up in the morning without that stress and anxiety drowning you. It was okay. It was great.
Until it wasn’t.
“No problem, doll.” He said, gloved hands clasped under the table on his lap. “I already ordered. Got your usual. Hope that was alright.” He added, to which you nodded absentmindedly.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Thanks Buck.” You said, mustering up a half hearted smile that didn’t reach your eyes. It was like even smiling drained the energy from you. You were exhausted. Not even just physically but mentally and emotionally. You had been having such good days for a while now, since meeting Bucky. You felt like maybe you would finally be alright but.. this feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that nothing was quite right, it was heavy. It weighed you down. It suffocated you. You wanted to be alone, but you also couldn’t stand to be alone because when you were alone, you were just stuck in your head and being in your head was the absolute worst place to be.
The intrusive thoughts had started. They told you that you would do nothing but weigh Bucky down. That he didn’t need someone like you in his life, someone with clear problems of their own, when he was going to therapy trying to better himself. Even if it had been mandatory for him to go. You wanted to push him away, save him from yourself, but you also couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.
Bucky noticed the shift in you. Normally when you two met up, whether it was at the diner or anywhere else, you would usually talk his ear off. Not that he minded, he was content to just sit back and listen to you. Sometimes, you’d tell him about a new book that you had started reading. You had just started reading the fifth Harry Potter book and you were trying to get him to read them. You’d tell him about your day. You’d ask him how his day went, how it went with Dr. Raynor, though you never pushed for more information. You always let him share if he was comfortable with it and he appreciated that. Sometimes you teased him for being such an old man.
The food came soon after you had arrived and sure enough, Bucky had ordered your usual. It sent a pang through your heart when you realized that he had memorized your order, down to the extra syrup and whipped cream on the pancakes. Bucky always liked to make fun of you for ordering the same thing when you came to the diner. No matter what time it was, you always ordered the pancakes with extra syrup and extra whip cream, with the strawberries on the side. Secretly, though he found it adorable.
Today, you had barely even taken more than a few bites and that was what really let Bucky know that something wasn’t right. You kept your head down, eyes on the pancakes and you cut them up, bringing a few up to your mouth and chewing slowly, but you mostly just moved them around your plate with the fork in your hand. Bucky himself had barely taken only a few bites of the food he’d ordered for himself, but it wasn’t for lack of appetite, it was because of the growing concern. His bright blue eyes were now a stormy grey, kind of like the clouds that you see during a heavy storm. His brows were furrowed, giving him an appearance almost as if he were angry.
“You alright, Y/N? You’ve barely eaten your food and normally you finish before I do.” He attempted to joke, to bring about that smile that seemed to always fill him with warmth. He half expected you to look up at him with that cheeky little smile, a mischievous look in your eyes and say “You know, I would be offended by that, but I know why you eat so slow, Buck. I completely understand. You don’t want your dentures to fall out.” But it never came.
You don’t know what it was. Bucky asking you if you were alright or if it was simply all the pressure of just.. everything, finally breaking, but you could feel the hot tears in your eyes. They blurred your vision until you couldn’t really see the plate of the pancakes in focus. The dam had finally come apart and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You set the fork down and buried your face in your hands, your shoulders lightly shaking as you began to cry. All Bucky could do was stare for a few seconds, alarm written all over his face. Alarm and distress because he had no idea what just happened and if he had done something to upset you.
“Woah woah, hey. Sweetheart, hey. What’s wrong?” In seconds, Bucky was out of his side of the booth and scooting in beside you. You felt the comfort of his warmth, you felt his arm tentatively, almost hesitantly, slide around your shoulders and anchor you to him. You shook your head, attempting to calm down, to stop the tears but the more you tried, the more they seemed to come.
“I-I’m sorry, Bucky.. I.. I’m sorry.. I-I’m fine. Really.” You said, sniffling. It was apparent to you both that you were not alright and he really just wanted to get to the bottom of it. Or at least attempt to comfort you. But doing that in the middle of a diner with other people around wasn’t ideal.
“Hey, my apartment is only a short walk away. Come on, let’s get you out of here and somewhere more quiet.” You didn’t protest. You just nodded and slid out of the booth after he did. Bucky took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the table, paying for the uneaten food, and then quickly led you out of the establishment. He kept his hand on you, almost like an anchor. Whether it was to reassure you or himself, he didn’t know and you didn’t mind either. It was probably the only thing that kept you from retreating inside of your mind and giving in to the panic that so desperately wanted out.
You didn’t even realize that you had reached his apartment until he had led you up the stairs and you were standing behind him as he unlocked the door. He allowed you to step in first and then quickly followed behind you, shutting the door as he did so. You didn’t really get the chance to take in his apartment because he had ushered you to sit on his couch while he knelt in front of you.
“Alright, you’re scarin’ me here, doll. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” The sheer look of concern and slight panic in his face and those pretty eyes of his made the waterworks come back again. You shook your head, your face scrunched up in anguish. Hot bullet tears fell from your eyes and left a wet path in their wake down your cheeks. Bucky wasn’t one to pry; he hated it when people tried to pry into his life and he didn’t do it to you, but he couldn’t stand the sight of seeing you cry. He couldn’t stand the sight of your once bright eyes and cheery smile just.. gone. You eyes were sad and your lips were pulled into a frown. “Talk to me, baby.” He practically pleaded.
“I just.. I don’t.. I don’t know how to explain it, Buck.” You cried. “I-I.. I just feel like..” You let out a frustrated cry when you couldn’t find the right words but Bucky was patient. He reached a hand up, cupping your cheek and wiping away the tears that kept falling. “I don’t feel.. happy. Everyday I wake up and I just, I feel fine for like a few seconds and then everything just comes crashing down on me. I can’t ever stop thinking. I can’t sleep at night. I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like this, Bucky. And I feel fucking crazy. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even really like me. I feel.. hopeless, like nothing is ever going to be okay. I might feel okay for a few seconds but then it just goes away.” You explained, though you were sure that you probably sounded like a raving and ranting lunatic. “Before I met you, I liked being alone but I also hated it because when I was alone, I would just overthink and overthink and overthink about every fucking thing. If it wasn’t one thing it was another just giving me such bad anxiety and.. I don’t know what to do anymore, Bucky. I’m just tired of feeling like this. Feeling like nothing is ever going to be okay, like I’m never going to be okay. I just feel.. alone.”
His heart was well and truly broken. In the two months that he’d known you, he hadn’t known how badly you had struggled with your mental health. He hadn’t known the war that you fought within your mind, and how bad it had become. You were such saving grace for Bucky; you saved him from the wars inside of his mind. The constant feeling of guilt that he fought with on a daily basis, and now.. he just wanted to do the same for you. He wanted to shoulder some of the pain that you carried, the pain that seemed to be weighing you down. Both of his hands now cupped your cheeks so delicately, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. His blue eyes were shining, looking at you with not pity, but something like.. understanding. If anyone knew what you were feeling, it was Bucky.
“You’re not alone.” His smooth and rich voice was so soft, so gentle that it brought on a new set of tears. “You’re not alone, sweetheart. Not anymore. You know why? Cause you got me.” He said. “I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. To feel stuck in your head. To feel like nothing is ever gonna get better. I felt like that in Wakanda. Sometimes.. sometimes, we need help. And I know I’m not one to be talking considering that I don’t really like talking to my therapist or even going,” That roused the smallest of smiles from you. “I’m here. You know that, right? I’m here. You got me and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I don’t care if you have a million bad days. I don’t care if you feel like you’re bothering me. I’ll be there every time.” You two have gradually gravitated close to one another until your foreheads were pressed together. Bucky was still knelt in front of you on the couch, his hands still holding your cheeks. Your eyes were closed and you could feel his warm breath fanning your face. The tears had stopped falling but you were still sniffling softly. “You’ve helped me. Even if you don’t know it. You’ve helped me.” He was whispering. There was no one but you two in his apartment but he was still whispering the words meant for only you to hear. “Now, let me help you. Please.”
“Okay. I trust you, Bucky.”
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Cruel Summer (Pt. 1/2)
Premise: Steve was 7, Bucky was 6, and you were 4 when you became family. And it was in the summer of your last year in high school when things started to change.
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes / What doesn't kill me makes me want you more
author's note: First of all, this did not go the way I planned it to. Second, I was wrong; this isn't one-shot but a two-shot fic. Finally, I hope you guys like it. Again, @lokisblackwidow's post made me do this. Sorry if it's different from what you expected it to be.
warning: this fic contains cursing, sexual shit, and incest. Read at your own risk
It's been 15 years since your family moved to New York to start anew. The concrete jungle, skyscrapers, and bustling broadway shows were a stark contrast to California's tropical and easy-going nature. You were too young, though, to notice such things because you were just three years old at the time and mostly spent your time confused because you haven't seen your mom in a long time.
It's only been dad and your brother Steve for weeks now, and both didn't know how to tie your hair the way you like or read those bedtime stories you loved so much. Years later, you finally realized why -she died. The next thing you knew, you have a new mom and a new brother. It's been that way since.
"How's the college application going?" Steve's gruff voice came from the ongoing Facetime.
"I haven't had my breakfast. Can I please have my breakfast first?" You replied, annoyed. You didn't want to be reminded of that first thing in the morning. You slumped down on the seat beside your mom, and she handed you a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "Thanks, mom," You muttered.
Your dad sat on the other side of the table, flipping through the day's paper, and beside him sat Bucky, stuffing his face with bacon, completely ignoring the chaos around him. The empty seat beside him was where Steve sat (when he's home, that is, which was rare nowadays), but the tablet with his huge face plastered in it was placed on the space on the table, so it felt as if you were all still having breakfast together.
"Ooh, someone's grumpy."
"I'm gonna beat your ass when you get home." You threatened.
"Well, joke's on you 'cause I'm not."
"You're not?" Mom frowned.
Steve shifted to look at her. "I took a summer course this year, Biostats. It'll help with my thesis."
"You sure you're not just fonduing with Maryland girls in the summer?"
"Shut up, Buck. You're the playboy in the family, not me."
"Alright, boys!" Your mom chastised then turned to Steve again. "Well, you take care, and if you need anything, just give us a call."
Steve attended Johns Hopkins University -unarguably one of the best universities in America when it comes to Medicine. He'd always wanted to be a doctor, and even though he never said it, you knew it was because of your biological mom. He could've gotten into Harvard, but like you, Steve itched to get out of New York for a change of environment. It was only Bucky who didn't want to go anywhere, and so he attended NYU.
You love New York, no doubt about that. You grew up exploring its Burroughs, and the Central Park had been a staple in your formative years, but lately, you just wanted to get away from all of it. Recently, something changed, and you convinced yourself that it was because it's your last year in high school and you will be going to college soon.
But you knew there was something else. Well, maybe it was also because you turned 18 early this year, you're legal now, and with your going to college on the other side of the coast, you were excited to have a bit of freedom. CalArts was your first choice, being into Performing Arts and all that. Now, your parents weren't painfully strict, but being the youngest and only girl in the family, they couldn't help but be a little protective.
When Steve went to Baltimore two years ago, you were quite relieved. You get it; you're his only sister, but the way he used to hover around and scare away boys grated your nerves. You were just thankful that by sophomore year, he was gone. He'd passed on the mantle to Bucky, but he didn't really care -well, not as much as Steve did.
"Dad, don't forget you're picking me up later after school. I can't be late for my rehearsal." You reminded. Across the table, your old man's jaw dropped.
"I'm sorry, honey, was that today?"
"Uhh yeah, you forgot already?"
"Sorry, it slipped my mind, honey. How about you pick her up, Buck?" He turned to your step-brother.
"What?!" You shrieked in unison.
"I can't. I have stuff to do." He whined. You roll your eyes at his lame excuse.
"No, it's fine. I'll just ask Peter to come with me."
"Who's he, your new boyfriend?" Bucky spat.
You glared at him across the table. "No, he's not. I don't even have a boyfriend; you and Steve made sure of that." You downed the last of your coffee before shooting daggers at him once more. "Don't pick me up. Go do your stuff."
"Bucky…" It was mom's turn to speak.
"Fine!" He grumbled.
"Bye, Peter. See you around!" You stood up from the bench where you and your friend sat as soon as you saw Bucky drove up the school's entrance.
You don't know what your step-brother's problem was, but lately, he'd been nothing but irritable and annoyed, especially with your presence. You didn't wait for him to call you, so you jogged as quickly as you could across the schoolyard, silently climbing on the passenger seat as soon you reached where he pulled over.
You cast a wary glance at him; he didn't speak to you since you got on. He didn't even acknowledge your presence. His jaw was set, and he was intent on ignoring you, it seems, for the duration of the ride.
You and Bucky weren't always like this. You two were close; you played a lot when you were kids, you built forts, you wrestled, you chased each other with whatever gooey stuff you put your little hands on. Over the years, he became distant. You'd started to feel distant when Bucky and Steve entered junior high -you just couldn't relate to the stuff they talk about anymore. You're still very close with Steve, but with Bucky, he just drifted further away, especially when you entered high school. Bucky was only two years ahead, so you always saw him around during your freshman year. He was very popular, it seems. Senior girls used to befriend you in hopes of getting close to your step-brother.
You couldn't take it any more of his animosity, so you fully faced him, shifting in your seat. "Have I done something wrong, Buck?"
He looked at you incredulously for a second before turning his attention back on the road.
Annoyed at his lack of response, you hit his shoulder with your fist.
"What the hell y/n! I'm driving. Do you want us to die?!" He growled.
You retreated back to your seat, feeling remorseful for a second. Only for a second, then you burst out crying. "I hate you! I wish you're not my brother!"
You heard him chuckle, but he obviously wasn't amused. "Yeah, wish you weren't my sister too."
Bucky was in his last year in high school when he noticed it. He was waiting outside the school library because you said you needed to borrow a book before the two of you go home.
When Steve went off to college, he promised he'd look after you. He noticed firsthand how guys from all grade levels flock to you, hoping they'd catch your attention. Now, Bucky knew what these guys really want, and that's to get in your pants. Over his dead body would he allow that to transpire. So you two always walked home together.
He craned his neck to peek through the giant doors, wondering what's taking you long when he saw you chatting with a guy. His brows furrowed while his lips formed a thin, grim line.
Your smile reached your ears, your eyes glistened in obvious delight, and your cheeks flushed. Your shy gaze was directed at the guy in front of you.
Bucky frowns even more, when the guy ruffled your hair, a gesture that only he has the right to do (he believes). He felt a vein in his head pop in irritation. He felt like punching someone.
"Hey, Buck, let's go!" You chimed, pulling him out of his murderous thoughts.
"Who were you talking to?"
"Oh, that's Stephen. A junior in the dance club." You almost giggled.
"Huh." He scoffed.
The next time he noticed it happen was when he stayed around to watch your cheer dance rehearsals. Your skimpy cheerleader outfit didn't leave much to the imagination; that's why he decided to hover around, ready to pounce on whoever looked at you the funny.
Bucky looked away for a second to glance at his phone when screams filled the schoolyard. The next thing he knew, you were in the air -free-falling. He ran as fast as his feet could take him to catch you, his heart pounding in his ears. Fortunately, someone was there to catch you before you hit the ground.
You fell on top of the guy -Stephen. He gritted his teeth, half-annoyed, half-grateful at the piece of shit. He saw how you stayed on top of him for a few seconds more; furiously blushing. The moment he reached you, Bucky yanked you up and from the guy's body.
"You okay?" He fussed, searching your body for any sign of injury.
"I'm fine, Buck. Stephen caught me." You bit your lip as you shyly looked back at the guy. "Umm, thanks again."
"Yeah, thanks, man," Bucky grumbled, pulling you away from the group.
The way your body rested on another guy just didn't sit well with him. Once again, he felt like punching someone, and that someone is Stephen. He hated the way the guy was always around you. Bucky was sure what his motive was, and he'll never let him get it.
"I want ice cream." You muttered later that afternoon on your way home.
Bucky scoffed at your request. "What are you, five?"
You stopped walking and faced him, a pout on your lips. "Steve always buys me ice cream."
"Well, I'm not Steve."
"Please, I fell off someone's shoulder and almost hit my head. What if I died?"
"What has that got to do with ice cream?"
"I hate you. You're the worst brother, ever."
Bucky chuckled at your antics; he knew you didn't mean it. You just say that to get what you want because when you were kids, Steve and he used to compete for the Best Brother Award. "Fine." He conceded with a smile. He grabbed your grabbed, and you both ran to the nearest ice cream parlor, ordering one big bowl of banana split sundae and stuffing your faces.
Bucky's whole body tensed when your moans filled your ears. He didn't mind it back then, you were young and innocent, but now, Bucky couldn't ignore the sound spilling from your mouth. Sweat dripped down his nape.
This isn't right.
Your moans seem to ring louder in his ears. The way you licked your spoon clean was not helping his situation either. Bucky thinks about the thin line between sanity and insanity when the chocolate syrup trickled from your lips down to your chin until it reached the supple skin of your neck.
"I need to go to the bathroom." He muttered and hastily jolted from his seat, scrambling away from you. Bucky has a growing problem inside his pants, and he needs to take care of it.
Stop this, Bucky, you need to stop this! His mind chastised while his hands unbuckled his belt. You shouldn't feel this… this way towards her. He's your step-sister. It's wrong.
As soon as he reached his release, he made up his mind. He'll stay away from you; kinda impossible since you both live in the same house, but he'll try his best for both your sakes.
Bucky stopped waiting for you after school. He stopped watching your rehearsals. He stopped helping you with your Math home works and, much to your mom's surprise, he started watching evening dramas with her in the living room every night.
So to answer your question, the one you shot at him when he picked you up from school that day. Yes, you did something wrong.
You grew up. And it's been hard for him to see you as his step-sister ever since.
The last day of school finally rolled in, and you intended to enjoy summer before you start college. What you didn't see coming, though, was being left alone with Bucky for one whole week because your parents are going on a cruise.
"Can't I come with you?" You pleaded, eyes wide as you hauled your mom's baggage into the back of the taxi.
"Sorry, honey. Promise, we'll be back as soon as we can." She replied before giving you a hug.
"Don't leave me here. Bucky's gonna bully me all week."
"He won't, right Bucky?" She raised a brow at him, who stood with his arms crossed, looking annoyed.
"Try not to destroy the house while we're away." Was their final reminder before they went on their way.
Bucky was the first one to get back inside the house. Dread ate up your insides; you two haven't spoken since the car ride. You decided once and for all to get things straight with him. So you marched inside about five minutes later.
Bucky heard you barge in his room, but he remained still -eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. He jolted up when you unceremoniously hit his stomach with a pillow.
"What the hell, y/n?!" He snarled, clearly pissed at your assault.
Your nose flared at his attitude. "What is your problem, James Barnes?" You growled in return.
"Am I the one with a problem here?"
"Oh, come on! You know what I mean!"
Bucky pushed past you; you trailed behind, following his figure towards the living room. He needed to get away from you, fast. It irked him that you wouldn't stay the fuck out of his way. You'd even come and gone into his room. Bucky couldn't take it; he'd go crazy.
"Why are you avoiding me? Bucky!… Bucky! Answer me, damn it!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, y/n. So, leave me alone." He was about to reach the door when you threw yourself in front of it, barring his way out. "Move."
"NO! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." You crossed your arms, planting your feet firmly on the floor. You weren't gonna let this day end without knowing why Bucky acts the way he does. If it was something that you did, then you'd wholeheartedly make it right, but you'll never know if he keeps on brushing you off. So, here you are.
"Y/n, move." Bucky hissed menacingly."
"No, Bucky." You replied in the same manner.
After your brief glaring contest, Bucky finally looked away, sighing in defeat. "Fine. Something's not right, okay? But it's not you, it's… it's… me, so let me handle this myself."
You relaxed and took a step closer to him. "Can't you tell me? I might be able to help."
Bucky looked away. How could he possibly tell you that he's harboring un-brotherly feelings towards you -his step-sister. How could he possibly tell you that you turn him on, that he's having inappropriate thoughts about you for a year now? How could he possibly tell you that he might be falling in love with you?
All those times you spent together when Steve was gone. The times you intently and genuinely listened to his adolescent problems. The times you cheered for him when he played football in high school. You were his number one fan. You were so different from the others, and he hated how it made him look at you differently. He hated when you boys started coming into your life. He always believed that you had a special place in your heart for him, but now he feared that anyone might snatch that place from him. You were his best girl.
Bucky grimaced at his realization. He finally admitted to himself that he is, indeed, falling in love with you. He felt angry at himself. How could he let this happen? He thought he was in control of his emotions.
"Eventually, I'll tell you. But not now." He said softly, hoping you'd let him go.
But you were persistent. "No, Bucky. I want you to tell me now." You demanded.
"Y/n," He growled loudly this time. "Move out of my way!"
"I won't until you tell me."
"Just tell me!"
Bucky's resolve broke. The sirens in his mind went off, but he ignored them as he strode towards you intently. He smirked when your bravado faltered before vanishing completely when he pushed you against the door; your bodies pressed together, making sure you could feel the tent growing against his pants.
Your eyes widened in shock. "Wha-"
"You wanna know why? Huh," He asked through gritted teeth, his face hovered dangerously close to yours that you could feel the hot breath coming through his nose. Bucky didn't give you time to answer because he roughly crashed his lips towards yours. He wasted no time shoving his tongue inside your mouth.
Bucky could feel your hands against his chest, pushing him away. He could hear the muffled pleas of protest as he relentlessly assaulted your mouth. His lips left yours only to find themselves on your neck, sucking on your skin.
"Bu.. Bucky.. stop.. s-s-top." Tears cascaded down your cheeks, but you were frozen in spot, unable to wipe them away.
But Bucky ignored your appeal. He continued sucking your skin while his hands traveled your side, feeling you up. When he couldn't get enough of you, he bit the skin on your shoulder.
You yelped in pain. "Stop! Stop, get off me!"
Still, Bucky did not listen. Dissatisfied with his actions, he dragged and threw you towards the couch; he straddled over you, your hands pinned on the cushion. You squirmed beneath him, trying to escape his hold.
Bucky pulled your shirt up and found his lips back on your skin again; this time, he latched on your erect nipple and sucked as if his life depended on it. When he was done abusing both your buds, he moved to kiss your lips again, but your tear-stricken face met his eyes.
Bucky went stiff as a board, and you used that opportunity to push him, backing off as far as you can from him. Your loud sobs filled the house as you sank to a pool at your feet, hugging your knees to yourself.
You couldn't believe what your step-brother had done. Your mind couldn't begin to fathom his actions.
Bucky sat motionless, his horror-struck at his deed. He bit back the long line of profanities that ran inside his head as he stared dumbfounded at your crumpled figure.
A painful pang of guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. What had he done?
"Y/n.. I-I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He said and scrambled out of the house.
Bucky didn't come home for three days while you spent it in a daze.
Bucky kissed you; he put his tongue inside your mouth. He touched you in your private parts. He sucked on your nipple while you lay beneath him. He held you like a lover would.
But he was your brother; why would he do that?
The sound of the front door opening pulled you out from your thoughts. Your gaze met Bucky's; he had dark circles around his eyes, and you wondered briefly whose house he crashed when he didn't come home.
"Bucky…" You stood from the couch and approached him.
Bucky liked that about you. You were brave and face things head-on; you're not one to back down, just cause you were scared. But he doesn't think he could handle you right now, not after what he's done. He walked past you, intent on ignoring you.
"After what you did, I at least deserve to know the truth, don't you think?"
Your words hit home. You were right; you deserved at least that much. Sighing, he turned back and sat down on the couch.
"I know this is downright wrong, but I'm in love with you, y/n," Bucky confessed softly, and he heard your small gasp.
"But, we're… I'm your sister."
"step-sister," He corrected. "I can't help it. I love you more than a step-brother could love his step-sister. I love you as a woman y/n. I tried to stop it, but it was hard."
You deserved to know the truth no matter how disgusting, condemning, or how sinful it was.
"I am still trying." Bucky continued, and this time, he gave you a firm look. "And I need, need you to help me."
Your heart skipped a beat. "What do you want me to do, Buck?"
"Stay away from me."
You pulled back in shock. "But-"
"No buts!" He hissed. "Can't you see how hard this is for me? You think it's easy to stay away from you when I love you?" He pleaded. "After this, I want you to stay away, don't talk to me unless it's a life or death situation."
"Mom and dad will notice."
"Then don't make them notice." He got up and approached you, then reached for your hand, clasping them together. "Please, y/n, you have to."
With a heavy heart, you nodded. Bucky moved and gave you a quick peck on the forehead, and it felt like goodbye.
Weeks quickly flew by, fortunately for the both of you, your parents didn't notice a thing. You bickered like you used to during breakfast, but both of you knew that it was forced. When they weren't around, which was much since both of them worked, you barely talked to each other and were barely left alone in the house.
Bucky spent most of his time playing basketball -his new hobby to get his mind off you. He's always gone during weekends playing with his college friend Sam Wilson. You saw the guy once when Bucky invited him to dinner with your family. After that, Sam can frequently be seen in the house. Your parents were cool with it since Steve didn't come home for summer.
One afternoon, Sam was there again; you could hear their banter all the way up to your room. However, what really bothered you though was the presence of a woman -Sharon. She's Bucky and Sam's classmate in one of their class, and along with Sam, she started hanging out at your house.
You groaned, annoyed. You couldn't focus on the application essay you were supposed to write with that woman's shrill voice downstairs. You slammed your fist against your study table, intent on giving the three a piece of your mind. You stood up and marched downstairs, catching their attention.
Sharon sat between Sam and Bucky, and they were pretty occupied with a mobile game before you came.
"Can you guys keep it down? You're not the only people in the house."
"Oops, sorry, y/n." Sharon squeaked.
"We'll keep it down," Sam promised.
You just nodded before glaring at Bucky, who did not even acknowledge your presence. You grumbled something before storming back to your room, slamming the door close.
Sharon and Sam ended up having dinner with them again. With Sharon seated beside Bucky, again. Your mom told them to drop by again. And, Bucky walked Sharon home, again.
And you were getting tired of this. You wanted to help Bucky, but you can't just sit back and watch him replace you with someone else. No, you can't allow it. This has to stop.
You waited for Bucky to come home; you were in his room sitting on his bed with a determined look on your face.
As soon as Bucky stepped inside, he was shoved against the door, making it slam close. He winced at the pain on his back, but he was startled and shocked when he felt your lips connect with his in a searing kiss. His first instinct was to push you away, but his desire got the better of him. His eyes slipped close, and he kissed you back passionately.
Bucky's thoughts were in a haze as both your lips danced with each other. It didn't take long for him to invade the warmth of your mouth, fingers tangling themselves into your hair, while your hands curled around the front of his shirt, trapped between your heated bodies.
"Why," He moaned before pulling away.
Your ragged breaths filled the room; you looked at him with glistening eyes. "I don't care anymore, Bucky. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be replaced by Sam or Sharon or anyone else." A tear escaped your eye, and it cascaded down your cheek.
Bucky leaned down and kissed it away, the salty taste lingering in his tongue.
"I want you back, Bucky."
Bucky felt a painful tug on his heart at the sight. He loves you, but he was also the one making you cry. He cannot bear the thought of hurting you. He caressed your cheek and gazed at you lovingly, longingly.
"You're making this hard for me, y/n. For the both of us."
You shook your head once more and pulled his face close to yours. "I don't care anymore, James Barnes. Love me any way you want, just don't… don't leave me again."
Bucky froze at your words. He pulled away then grasped both your shoulders. "Y/n, you don't know what you're saying."
"I do. I'm not a child anymore. I want how we used to be; if accepting your love could get things back to the way it was, I accept it.
Bucky shook his head. "No,…no y/n, nothing will ever be the same if you let me love you the way I want to."
Your face visibly fell at his words. Feeling hopeless, you asked. "Why?"
"Why?" Bucky asked back softly. "Because unlike then, I'll kiss you more like this…" He started and gave you a sensual kiss on the lips. "I'll hold your hand like this…" His hand went to yours, and he intertwined your fingers.
"We used to do that when we were kids."
Bucky just hummed in response. "And I'll pull you close to me like this…" He continued and did just as he said. He pulled you against his heated body and inhaled your scent. "And you'll always ignite that burning feeling inside me, y/n. So, unless you get used to these things, I will not let you do this."
"But we used to do some of those."
"It's going to be a lot different now."
"I don't care. I'm used to it. In fact, I miss it. Don't ever leave me again, Bucky, please. I love you so much."
Bucky's eyes widened in surprise. He could feel the rapid beating of your heart against his. He pulled you in once more for a passionate kiss.
"I love you too, y/n. You don't know how much you make me happy."
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im working on stucky x mutant reader soulmate au, which abilities would you rather have?
• instant healing/regeneration (ex. deadpool, i think this would be fun bc stucky would freak out when you get hurt even though you can't die)
• thermal manipulation (fire/ice, most fics do either fire or ice but i think both would be bad ass)
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if i can’t have you.
20 day song imagines masterlist | main masterlist
pairing: bucky barnes x 40’s!reader
genre: angst, some fluff
warning: one curse word and mentions of death.
word count: 1.7k
synopsis: bucky spends years tracking down a necklace from a past lover that he just can't stop thinking about but ended up finding something even better.
this means flashbacks
The first time Bucky remembered y/n was after his first fight with Steve, Sam, and Natasha. He was so confused that Steve knew him and all the memories from his past life were slowly flowing back.
"James! Don't throw that at me!" y/n laughed running from him.
they were having a water-balloon fight. It was a sunny afternoon in Brooklyn and they were quick to take advantage of the sunny weather.
"Doll i'm not going to throw it. Just come over here it'll be okay." Bucky bit his lip in anticipation.
Y/n slowly stepped towards Bucky but ran once she heard someone cough in the bush next to her.
"I'm sorry I was trying to hold it in." Steve laughed.
Y/n. Who was y/n? And who was this Steve guy? Bucky's context clues led him to believe that y/n might've been a lover of his, hence the pet name "doll."
Bucky didn't have much time until he was back at the Hydra building so he quickly picked up random litter from the street and sought out to find a pen. Once he found it, he wrote the name y/n on it.
Once he arrived to the front building of Hydra he tucked the paper away from anyones view to come back for it.
He was back from his mission and hydra knew right away that something wasn't right. They wiped is memory and everything he remembered was gone. Kind of.
The next couple of weeks Bucky had remembered nothing of his past life, including where he hid the paper, and was doing missions for his "boss." This time, he just so happened to find Steve, again.
Combinations of Steve repeatedly calling The Winter Soldiers name, Bucky, and just seeing him caused him to pause. A memory was coming back to him. He tried to fight it, even after focusing on Steve and what his leaders told him to do. But even after saving Steve, he couldn't fight off the feelings he was getting from being near the super soldier.
"James. Please be careful." Y/n cried into his neck.
She just got the news that he's going on a mission with Steve. She always feared what would happen when he joined the military. She already had faced almost losing him to the nazi's. What if something even worse happens?
"Doll. You know I will." he replied, pulling back to look at her teary eyed face.
"Still, things happen." she shrugged.
Bucky stood up from the bed getting his thing's together. He knew it was dangerous, but he had to do it. She knew that.
"Wait James." Y/n called as he was about to leave, "Take this." She handed him a necklace.
Bucky looked at the silver necklace, examining the picture of her on it, "What's this for?"
"So you don't forget me." She sniffed.
"You keep it here with you." He said softly.
So you can give it to me when I come back." He kissed her lips, leaving her with the last I love you she'll ever hear from him.
Bucky jolted awake from his sleep wiping his eyes and got up from his metal bed. Bucky suddenly started to question hydra like he hasn't before. He began to question who he even was.
He needed to find that necklace. But where could it be? Did she even keep it?
Over the course of two years, Bucky finally started to get his memory back. He was united with Steve in weird circumstances but he was just glad to have his best friend next to him. Even though he had his memory, he still hadn't found the necklace. He spent two years looking everywhere for it and never even got a hit on it until a couple nights ago. He kept having flashbacks to a specific place.
"You sure know how to make a girl love huh?" Y/n asked, arms around Bucky's neck.
"Maybe." He mumbled then softly placed his lips on her's.
They were at the y/n's favorite bar dancing to a song that came on in the jukebox. Paper Doll.
Bucky quickly learned that song is the reason he called his beloved y/n doll.
"What you thinking in the pretty head of yours?" Bucky questioned.
Y/n sighed, "Just about how amazing you are."
"You want to go to the bar. Don't you?"
"Yes!" She yelled as she shot up from the bed to get ready.
The bar. But what was it called?
Bucky had a long day. All he wanted to do was cuddle up with y/n but when he entered there shared apartment, she wasn't there. She was always there, especially at this time of the night.
He didn't want to panic though. He knew she had to be somewhere so he looked around the building then proceeded to drive to her family owned bar. Y/L/N
He quickly drove to the bar, opening the door to it, seeing y/n. "Doll." Bucky called.
"Hi James." Y/n greeted.
"Why aren't you at home?"
"I just wanted to be out." Y/n answered truthfully.
Bucky nodded sitting next to her ordering a drink. She always made his day better.
Finally! He had a name to the bar, but where was it?
Bucky decided to ask Steve. Surely y/n and Steve were in contact after his "passing." Maybe he knows about the necklace.
"Hey Steve. You remember y/n?" Bucky asked
"Of course I do Buck. You thinking about her."
"Yeah I um- I remember she had a family bar it was named-"
"Y/L/N" Steve interrupted.
"You remember it?" Bucky's eyes lit up.
Steve nodded smiling, happy his friend was remembering something important.
"Can you maybe tell me where it's at?"
"You looking for the necklace?" Steve asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Bucky said yes then followed Steve all the way down the street. A big sign reading, "Y/L/N" was hanging overhead. "Here you are."
How did he miss this?
Bucky thanked Steve with a handshake and walked his way into the bar. It looked the same, only more modern. The jukebox was still there but the interior was more relaxed and comfortable.
The bell rang as he entered causing people to look at him. Most reverted their attention back to there food as he walked to the ordering counter, but a a lady in the back kitchen, who couldn't be older than 30, continued to stare at him.
"You here for food or drinks?" The person at the ordering counter asked.
Bucky opened his mouth to speak but one of the people from the back intervened. "Tilla come back here for a second."
Tilla, the person at the counter, went to the back and talked to the lady who called them. Tilla's eyes widened then turned their head looked at Bucky.
What is going on?
The lady from the kitchen came up to the counter, "You James Barnes?" She asked.
"How'd you know?" He questioned.
"I'm Nichole, y/n's niece." She reached her hand out to greet him.
He accepted the handshake but was still confused. How did she know what he looked like. Surely y/n couldn't have told her?
"I'm guessing you're looking for y/n?"
"You're two years late." She told him, "She passed away."
Bucky's whole body froze.
Nichole looked up at him, seeing his state. "Let me take you to lunch. I'll tell you everything." She grabbed her bag and led him somewhere to eat.
"Did she- did she ever talk about me?" Bucky asked nervously. He just wanted to know. Not wanted, needed to know.
"All the time."
"Really?" He smiled.
"Yeah. She used to play that paper doll song all the time!" She laughed, "I remember just begging her to stop showing pictures of you but I guess it helped me figure out who you are."
"How'd you know I was alive?"
"Steve told me."
Huh? Steve knew y/n had family so close and never told him? But then Bucky remembered, he knew about the necklace. He knew about the bar. Why did he never tell him?
"He wanted you to remember it."
Bucky was snapped from his thoughts, "What?"
"Steve. He wanted you to remember her not because he told you, but because you genuinely remembered." Nichole reached into her bag, grabbing a crumbly envelope.
"Here." She handed him the paper. "Her death wish was for you to read this note. She wrote it for you but knew Steve was alive and made me promise to give it to him. But since you're alive and breathing, I'm giving it to you."
Bucky softly grabbed the envelope from the young girls hand, opening it.
Y/n was so hurt. So hurt from the news of Bucky's passing. She couldn't move on so she decided to make a letter. A letter that she only could hope that would be opened by Bucky.
Dear my beloved James,
I am writing this letter in hopes of you coming back home one day. Everyone says you have passed. They tell me to move on but I can not. I can not move on from you. You are the man I dream about in the night time. Steve says he did everything he could. I believe him. I truly miss you. You are the love of my life and if I could just hear you call me doll one more time, I would finally be at rest. I remember us talking about baby names. I remember all the times you came to my work just to tell me a new name you came up with. Sadly I will not have any babies. I refuse to even lay with another person. I refuse. I hope to one day have a niece. Maybe I can convince my family to name them Nichole or Harvey. If only. I miss you. Everything in my life seems sore without your touch. Everything means nothing without you. Everything means nothing if I can't have you.
your doll, y/n.
She sealed it in a pink envelope and tucked it away.
ps, i slipped the picture of me in your pocket.
idk why but I started tearing up at the end lol. i can just imagine the pain people feel when there s/o passes away :/
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Tinder Match 4
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You look at the older people on Tinder joking about finding a sugar daddy. That’s when you stumble upon a man claiming to be 106. Intrigued you swipe right and match with him.
Warnings: Language tfatws spoilers kinda
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Series Taglist: @kittengirl998 @fxckyou4ever @safetypinxtales @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @oofkatisanerd @chiakitoga @ihavemjolnirinmypantss
Bucky Taglist: @puddinsqueen @koressecretidentity @stevieintheimpala @unmagically @panickingqueer @thomasthetankson @joeysbumpkinbatch @the-chocoholic-writer @perksofbeingatrex @99-cats @rachmmb @quokkatrash @mylifeiscrazy0423 @vanillamaa @strawb3rrydr3ss @that-sarcastic-writer @spp2011 @spideyycents @mackycat11 @lieswithoutfairytales @crystalsoul2 @rosiemotion @dissectiontime @franzthelentil @lmf @jacelynenursalim @aiyanalevina @mooncaffeine @fanofalltheficsx @jewelsrocks99 @lharrietg @yoongisdumplingcheeks @clubcesspool
Marvel Taglist: @its-the-autism-innit-luv @amourtentiaa @xxspqcebunsxx @obsessedwithbuckybarnes @thenormanreedus @rorysreallyrandom @sxtansqueen @fandomrejects @stephyra @myalupinblack @mirakeul @aya-fay @just-a-musical-fan @lieswithoutfairytales @cr4b-rav3
Everything Taglist: @peterssweetpea @ninuffi @i-love-superhero @kolakube9 @lexy9716
If any of these are wrong let me know!!
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why is this literally going to be me on saturday when i get my first dose of the vaccine so my arm isn’t sore after😂
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slow ‘n steady , bucky barnes
— (fem!reader x tfatws!bucky)
summary; You and Bucky have been dating for a month now, and having a discussion about his past leaves you more connected to each other.
warnings; smut, fluff, trauma, reader has a dirty mouth, oral (m receiving), cockwarming, kinda sub!bucky, body worship, porn WITH plot (sort of), bucky hasn’t had sex in a looooong time, teasing-ish, plenty of pet names, this couple is soft & goofy.
word count; 2,897
a/n; this started out as an old draft from when i first saw tfatws, then i edited it recently to get this final ooey-gooey fic. enjoy <3 - stellie
Things were about as steady with your boyfriend as steady goes.
He was a private person, kept to himself for the most part. He wasn’t vulnerable or even pouty like some guys your friends had gone out with. James was a classic man, strong and quite old-fashioned. He brought you roses on your first date, which no one had ever done for you.
You met James while volunteering at rec-center bingo. He was there with an older man, looking unamused. It made you feel bad for him, which resulted in some very teenager-like flirting, because the stunningly handsome brunette obviously got a little flustered in your bold presence. You and James went out for dinner the following Monday.
A week after your first date, he couldn’t hold it back. Maybe telling his shrink about you was a mistake, because she had raised her eyebrow at him, silently saying, “have you told her yet?”
James didn’t want to ruin everything with the most beautiful person he had ever met. Not when it had just begun.
He told you that he wanted to go camping, and you couldn’t refuse his cerulean eyes. Instead of taking you out to the wilderness, you ended up in D.C. at the Smithsonian.
“That’s me,” he said, pointing to the pictures memorializing the Howling Commandos and Captain America’s best friend, Bucky Barnes.
Then it clicked. You weren’t dating James Barnes, the humble veteran and mechanic from Brooklyn, you were dating Bucky Barnes, the war hero turned assassin... now adjusting to life as a civilian.
“It’s okay if you wanna... I get it,” James looked down at his scuffed up boots. “I wouldn’t wanna date a 106 year-old freak either.”
You had heard the stories, mostly the bad ones, about the infamous Winter Soldier. It doesn’t matter now, that wasn’t really him.
“Hey, James... Bucky,” you reached up to cup his sharp jaw in your hands. “I still like you.”
He smiled ever-so-slightly, and you liked the way ‘Bucky’ felt sliding off your tongue. He was the most precious thing in the world.
The car ride back to Brooklyn was silent. You held his hand all the way home, thinking about all the horror he must’ve gone through. Part of you wanted to ask him about it, and the other part didn’t want to poke and prod too much. James — or Bucky — always wore gloves too. New York weather could be cruel, especially when it was hot, and Bucky still opted for a jacket and gloves. Peculiar.
After Bucky had dropped you home, you practically ran to your laptop. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story of sorts, so you had never seen what he looked like. You were never interested in that sort of thing either, you tended to avoid the news.
The internet is horrible. There’s Winter Soldier wikis and everything. Some of the ‘Winter Soldiers’ aren’t even Bucky. A crazy terrorist named Zemo tried to frame your boyfriend once and Steve Rogers went apeshit, you remember that being a top dinner-table discussion when you still lived at home.
The pictures you saw of the Winter Soldier was what frightened you the most. Your smiley, shy Bucky, with a striking metal arm and a machine gun. That same arm again at a different angle, covered in blood, holding a knife. He’s always wearing a face mask that covers his pretty, petal-pink lips. His hair is long, and that’s probably why no one ever recognized him in public.
You had to ask him about this eventually. Now you knew that Bucky had been shooting his way through fights since the forties, and on top of that, was put in a goddamn freezer. Maybe you’d give it a few weeks, let it set in that he’d told you, but now you were even more curious about James Buchanan Barnes.
“Buck...” three weeks later, you were stood outside his apartment door, fidgeting with his gloved fingers in your hand.
“Are you alright, doll?” He sounded worried.
You sighed, a somber expression painting your usually sparkling eyes. “I think we should skip going to the movies tonight.”
Bucky quirked an eyebrow, curling his fingers in your grip.
“I wanna ask you some things,” you said just above a whisper. “About your past.”
He froze, the way you would imagine someone would if you asked them to recall years of trauma when they were just planning on seeing a shitty romcom with their girlfriend. Bucky reached for the doorknob of his apartment. You had only ever been inside for a few minutes at a time, but you had a feeling you’d be getting comfortable.
“We can talk about it. I’m ready.”
Gentle nudges were much better than harsh shoves when it came to Bucky. With delicate encouragement, he had talked to you about some of the things he remembered from Hydra, or at least what he could tell you without breaking down. Sometimes you were worried you might cry, like when he talked about meeting Steve again.
Bucky nestled himself further into the couch when he talked about the forties, almost like he was searching for some sort of warmth. The warmth of old music and his family, maybe. You wouldn’t push him. He discussed more recent things like the Avengers, Wakanda, and his therapist, all of which were something to smile about.
He had said his piece for now, but there was something you weren’t letting off the hook just yet. Bucky may have assumed you knew about the metal arm, marked with a red star, but he’s never showed you his arm or even his bare hands. Hell, you’ve been attached at the hip for a month and he’s only given you a peck on the lips.
Go slow, don’t overwhelm him.
“I-“ you held back the urge to just take his jacket off yourself. “Can I see your arm?”
“So you do know about it?” Bucky turned his gaze away from you.
Your eyes started to well up. What could he be so ashamed of?
“Baby, please,” you coaxed him. “It’s okay.”
The sound of your voice melted him like butter in a microwave, and he reluctantly peeled off his leather jacket and gloves. Low and behold, a very flawlessly made vibranium arm was before you.
“It was made for me, in Wakanda,” he held out his vibranium hand to you and it made a low whirring noise. “The old one is... retired.”
You giggled and held Bucky’s cold hand in your warm one. It was an inviting coldness, something that you didn’t mind feeling. It was comforting, it was Bucky.
Before you could evaluate the impact of your curiosities, you lifted the sleeve of his black t-shirt to see where Bucky’s flesh connected to his prosthetic limb.
“No, don’t do that,” Bucky nearly shrieked the words out as he grabbed your side with his flesh hand.
“Why?” You had never seen his body in a vulnerable state, it was beginning to make you crazy.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t like how it looks.”
Damn Hydra. Tortured him and then wiped him clean for years, thinking he would actually forget it. Torture leaves scars, mental and physical.
“I love how you look,” you clutched his chin between your fingers. “Such a pretty boy, always thinkin’ about you, Bucky.”
“Really?” He already looked blissed-out.
“Yeah,” you straddled his lap, feeling like a confused virgin all over again. Bucky only hugged you if he was feeling frisky, this was definitely new territory.
That’s what happens when your boyfriend has lived two lifetimes, and he was an ice-cube for half of them.
Bucky looked up at you expectantly, waiting on your next move. You dove down into the column of his neck, leaving little kisses and bites there. He’s never let you be so intimate with him.
“James,” you tried not to sound too critical. “When was the last time you... were with someone?”
He tensed up, a blush instantly heating up his neck. Poor Bucky had a hard enough time just being a civilian, being a civilian with a partner had been out of the question in recent years, until you came along and wrecked his plans.
“Nevermind, don’t answer that,” you laughed.
Bucky brought both of his contrasting hands to your face, bringing it back up to his. His oceanic eyes had clouded over with a black-ink color of lust, and his creamy cheeks were tinted pink in the dim light.
“You keep missin’, doll,” he smirked. “Kiss me.”
His lips were magnets to yours as your fingers threaded through his neatly-trimmed hair. You immersed yourself in all things Bucky, because he smells like the woods and he’s warm and you could die happy kissing him like this. You’re so glad you missed that movie and decided to listen to him talk, because now you wish to be inseparable from him. You’ll leave featherlight kisses on each and every inch of that vibranium arm just to prove how much you want to stay.
“I’m gonna take this off now,” you inched the hem of his shirt up.
Anyone would have to squint in order to notice what Bucky hated, but from the way he winced, you knew exactly why he didn’t want that shirt off.
Messy scars littered the skin where man had previously met metal arm, right at his left shoulder. There were also countless battle wounds Bucky had endured over the years scattered across his body, but you made no fuss of it. He was just your Bucky.
You kissed the marred skin of his left shoulder, disregarding how much he despises it. He deserved everything, to be praised and loved on, so that’s what you would do. Every bullet wound and scratch you could see received the tender acknowledgment of your lips.
Bucky was almost sobbing above you as you neared his abdomen. You knew in your heart that he needed this, someone to touch him in a way that felt like a promise. He had been through so much and was still impossibly giving. You held his flesh hand in yours and squeezed it, like you were telling him that you were still there. You wondered how many times you had held the vibranium hand without knowing.
“So beautiful, Bucky. All mine,” you were on your knees for him, sliding your t-shirt off. “My baby boy.”
He smiled shyly at you, face going beet-red when he sees your chest in a nicely fitting black bra. The view couldn’t get any better, really.
Bucky groans when you pop the button of his faded jeans open, like someone had just punched him in the gut. He’s sensitive and trying to hold back, but you don’t mind. You shimmy his jeans all the way down his thick, gorgeous thighs. You’d love to take those for a spin, but now’s not the time. His leaking cock is waiting for you, at least now you know that, but you’re still debating how you want to play this.
“Buck,” you massage his thighs. “Has a girl ever sucked you off?”
“No,” he answered breathlessly.
“Alright, sarge,” you snapped the elastic of his waistband. “Tell me anytime if you wanna stop.”
Bucky whined again and pleaded for you to just do something, angling his hips up so you had easy access to take his boxers clean off.
“Such a good boy for me,” you discarded the useless fabric to the side of the couch.
He watched as you leaned your head closer to his erection. He was bigger than you had anticipated, but it’s not like you were complaining. You dragged your tongue all the way up his shaft, your ears eating up his dirty moans like sweet music. You took him in your mouth, lazily sucking his length, and pulling off with a pop.
“You moan like a fuckin’ pornstar, Buck,” you stared at him with hooded eyes.
“I haven’t felt this good in... years,” his chest was heaving. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Sergeant Barnes,” you sank your lips back down on his cock, gagging on his impressive size.
Bucky grunted and writhed around, threatening to release in your mouth any moment. Tonight was all about him, but you had other plans about where he would be finishing.
“Doll, can’t hold it,” he squeezed your hand.
You pulled off and hushed him, soothing his anxiety. His face had a look of fear etched in his features, like he was about to disappoint you. God, you wouldn’t be disappointed, you would be proud that he could let go for you.
“Don’t worry, baby, not much longer.”
With jell-o for legs, you stood up, taking your jeans and underwear off. This was all so new for you and Bucky, but it felt like you had waited a lifetime for it. You didn’t want anyone else to touch you ever again, just him.
He grinned at you, with teeth. “You’re pretty.”
Bucky’s dark hair was disheveled and sweaty, his face was flushed, and his voice was low with what could only be arousal. You’ve never stood before anyone more captivating.
“You’re handsome,” you straddled him like you had earlier. “I’m so lucky, you’re incredible.”
He really is. Your Bucky. He’d go to hell and back for you, that’s just the guy that he is.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his. He breathed out a “yes”, and you took his cock inside of you inch by inch.
“Jesus Christ,” you gasped as he bottomed out inside you.
“It’s just Bucky,” he answered your non-question in a choked laugh. “God, you’re so tight.”
“I’m gonna beat your ass later,” you sassed.
“Finish what you started.”
You looked down to where your body joined Bucky’s. It was supposed to be sinful according to everything you had ever been told, but it felt loving and exciting. Your entire body was lighting up, and if that’s sin, you’ll take hell.
Bucky kissed you feverishly, surprising you, but you didn’t mind in the slightest. You began grinding and bouncing on his cock, his thick length hitting every electric nerve inside of you just right. He mouthed at your pulse as you convulsed around him, but you weren’t close enough to finish. You snuck a hand between your folds and started to play with your clit, but the whirring of vibranium plates stopped you in your tracks. You can teach an old dog new tricks, Bucky Barnes included. He played your clit like a fiddle until you came around his cock, clenching down on him and moaning his name.
“You’re so good, Bucky,” you nipped at his earlobe while you still came down from your high. “Gonna cum for me?”
He whined almost hysterically, his release close.
“Let go, I’m right here,” you kissed his cheek to calm him and held his hand. “You’re safe.”
Bucky growled and then you knew he had let go. You felt all warm and fuzzy inside as he filled you up, and the way he held you close made you impossibly dizzy. Everything was so Bucky.
You kissed his forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
The bed in Bucky’s bedroom has been made for awhile now. He told you that when you still thought he was a veteran that had done tours in Iraq and slept better on the floor. It was an odd quirk to you, but even with the truth now revealed, you couldn’t judge him. He said in the shower that he wanted to sleep in bed tonight, or at least try.
You both got in, the sheets soft and silky. Bucky left all the lights in the kitchen and bathroom on, but again, you weren’t saying a word about it. He looked at you all sleepily, shirtless with his dog tags on, and you hesitantly grabbed the necklace to observe it.
“It’s awfully quiet,” you ran the pads of your fingers over the letters on the tags. “Is something wrong?”
Bucky murmured something. “Wanna be close.”
You pulled on the tags to bring him closer. “I see.”
His lips connect to yours in a very sloppy manner, drool everywhere from you both laying on your sides. You revel in the feeling of his tongue in your mouth, he tastes like his spearmint toothpaste. The body wash that he used in the shower smells like dish soap, but it’s intoxicating. It’s all so soothing and sensual that you want to burst.
“Closer,” you scratch down his bicep. “Bucky...”
You’re not even wearing any underwear to hide how soaking wet you are, just one of Bucky’s old t-shirts. You’re begging for it, your hand making its way down his washboard abs and to his boxers.
“Not again tonight,” he gave you a peck on the nose.
You shook your head. “It’s not like that.”
This is what happens when you date a 106 year-old man.
“What’s it like?” He asked curiously.
It was your turn to whine. “Just wanna be full.”
Bucky kicked off his boxers under the sheets, sheathing himself inside of your warm walls.
“Would it be a bad time to say I love you?” He grazed a finger over your cheekbone.
“You’re balls-deep inside me, but I love you too.”
Bucky let out a small laugh, and nothing could be more serene, just you and your boy.
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I’m gonna go on a small tangent but I just wanna know if anyone who works in non essential retail relates to this. I work at two different stores in a mall and neither of them enforce mask rules. Neither of these stores are anywhere near essential. So I am incredibly frustrated that even though I’m wearing my mask and social distancing (as everyone should) I’m constantly getting exposed my people who feel like they don’t need to wear a mask and put everyone at risk because they don’t want their shopping trip to be slightly inconvenient for them. I’ve had people pull down their masks to cough right next to me and get within half a foot of me while not wearing a mask. I have asthma and it’s not severe usually but I’ve been having to use my inhaler more often and keep coughing and it’s making me kinda nervous. I’m so incredibly frustrated that these people are so selfish that they feel entitled to put my health and everyone else’s at risk. Sorry for the rant I’m just nervous and frustrated
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Spark: Chapter Three
Summary: Y/N and Damon were apart of a Hydra experiment for over a decade until they escaped. When power outages through towns along with bodies of murdered Hydra agents start popping up across the country, Y/N becomes Bucky’s mission.
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: Bits of violence, memories of torture
All Writings Masterlist
*gifs not mine
Chapter Three - We all need to talk
Bucky managed to watch the rest of the movie unmoving, not wanting to disturb Y/N who was still sleeping on his shoulder. He watched the credits roll along the TV screen, reading each line as they passed. He didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to ruin the moment he was stuck in. Bucky felt almost normal for the first time in his long life as he sat there on the couch with Y/N asleep on his shoulder and a dog on the other side of him. But he quickly snapped out of his daydream when Sarge perked his big fluffy head up, “What’s up, boy?” Bucky asked the dog in a hushed tone as to not disturb Y/N.
Sarge stood on the couch, looking at the curtain covered window behind Bucky for a moment before jumping off the couch and going to the door. Bucky quickly noted that the hair on Sarge had stood up, making his brow furrow. He scooted himself up and away from his spot on the couch, gently shifting Y/N into a laying position without disturbing her sleep. Bucky walks to the window and moved the curtain to peak out, seeing a black van sitting outside. The owner of the van must’ve seen him peaking out the curtain as well because the van sped away down the road. It was at that moment Bucky decided he would be spending the night at Y/N’s house, concerned about who was in the van and what could’ve happened to Y/N if he wasn’t here. He walked over to Y/N’s DVD collection, finding the second movie of the Alien series and popping it into the DVD player as quietly as he could. He pushed play on the remote before taking Sarge’s spot on the couch, looking over at Y/N as she slept soundly before returning his focus to the TV knowing he wouldn’t be able to get much sleep tonight.
It was early morning hours, about 4:30 AM, when Y/N woke up with a gasp. Even the presence of Bucky couldn’t keep her nightmares away. She sat up, staring wide-eyed at Bucky as if she didn’t recognize him. She fell off the couch in an attempt to get away from him, scooting herself into the corner of the living room and curled up into as much as a ball as she could facing away from him. Sarge, knowing what was happening, kept his distance as to not be shocked but close enough that he could whine gently at Y/N to calm down.
The sudden jolt of Y/N waking up made Bucky jump as well, he wasn’t expecting her to be awake so suddenly. He watched her as she looked at him with terrified eyes, standing quickly when she fell off the couch and scooted away, “Hey, Y/N.” He said gently with his hands up to show he was non threatening, “It’s me… Bucky.” He said as he slowly walked towards her curled up figure.
Y/N looked up at Bucky still wide-eyed, shaking her head quickly, “Please…” She whimpers out, “Don’t take me back… Don’t hurt me…” Tears had started to form in her eyes and started to slowly drip down her red cheeks.
Bucky had never seen someone look so terrified as Y/N was curled up in the corner. It made him angry that something had happened to make her go into a frantic state like this, it was the total opposite of what she was usually like. He kneeled down in front of her, “Nobody is taking you anywhere,” He said, reaching a hand out to touch her, “I promi-“ As soon as he touched her, he felt a jolt of electricity go through his body that made him back away quickly from her. Yup, she was definitely an enhanced human with the ability to create strong currents of electricity. Bucky quickly realized touching her wasn’t going to work to snap her out of it and he would have to try something else, “Okay, no touching.” He muttered, “Hey, Y/N, remember last night? I brought you some soup and we had some drinks together. Then you showed me your favorite movie, Alien. I watched the second one without you, I hope that’s alright.”
Y/N was breathing hard as she looked at Bucky, her finger tips crackling with streaks of blue electricity. She tilted her head slightly at him as he spoke, then looks back to the TV to see the main menu for Aliens on the screen. It slowly started to come back to her where she was and what was going on, but then she snapped her gaze back to Bucky as the electricity from her fingers sizzled away, “Oh my god, Bucky! I’m so so sorry!” She said softly, uncurling herself from the wall and leaned towards him a little, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
Bucky sighs in relief as Y/N seemed back to normal, not knowing what else he could try if that didn’t work, “I’m alright, just a little shocked literally and figuratively.” He told her, holding his hand out to help her up from the floor and guided her back to the couch where Y/N took a seat. Bucky sat down by her, watching her curiously. At least now he could ask her questions about being an enhanced human and maybe more about how she was tangled with Hydra, “You literally electrocuted me, how is that possible?”
Y/N bit her lip, knowing questions were coming. She sat still on the couch, her eyes flickering between Bucky and her hands, “I don’t know.. It started when I was about ten years old…” She began, watching him for his reactions, “My parents got rid of me after they found out, sent me to a psychiatric facility when I was thirteen because they thought I was a witch or possessed. I got discharged and put into foster care and eventually adopted… It all went downhill from there.” She muttered out the last part, not really wanting to get into it unless he asked her. She didn’t know what she would say. How could she tell Bucky, a guy she was currently having a crush on, that she had been given up by her adoptive family to be tortured for an organization that seemed made up? Y/N didn’t want to sound crazy and scare him away. She chewed on her lip persistently, waiting for him to speak.
Bucky nodded, knowing the story already from the briefing he had before he came into Y/N’s life but it was good to hear her version, “You said don’t take me back… you looked traumatized saying don’t hurt me. What happened, Y/N?” He asks, curious to hear what really happened while she was gone after she fell off the grid. He needed to know more about her and especially more about Damon. He needed to understand how Y/N got mixed up with Damon and why he was murdering Hydra agents.
Y/N sighs, that was the question she didn’t want asked and hoped with just the small amount of information would be enough to suffice Bucky’s curiosity but somewhere inside her she knew it wouldn’t, “When the adoption was finalized and social workers didn’t need to come check up on me anymore, these men with accents took me to Washington. They put me in a cell in a bunker with a silver collar around my neck to steal the electricity I could produce… When they needed electricity to power the facility and their experiments, the collar would have sharp prongs that’d dig into my neck and cause me to create electricity….” She gently touched the scars on her neck from the prongs as she talked about them before continuing, “I was there alone for a long time until Damon and Stefan were put in the cells across from mine, they were brothers. The people who brought me there would take Damon and Stefan away sometimes… One day Stefan didn’t come back and we were told he died as part of an experiment. We were there for ten years together, isolated and alone.” She looked down at the floor where Sarge had came to lay below her, “Damon said they injected him with something that enhanced every ability he had including speed and strength and then he told me they were talking about brainwashing him… I panicked and released a large surge of electricity until the power blew in the facility and Damon and I escaped…” She slowly turned her gaze to Bucky, knowing she must sound insane to him, “That’s why Damon is in Washington, he goes to look for Stefan’s body every year. And ever since we escaped, the people who took me have been trying to get Damon and I back.”
Bucky slowly nodded at the story. He finally had answers as to what happened to Y/N and from the sound of it, Damon was a super soldier like him. He couldn’t help but feel anger and sadness for both Y/N and Damon. He had been in a similar situation before when he was taken by Hydra, turned into a brainwashed super soldier experiment and forced to kill but at least Y/N didn’t have the guilt of murder on her hands, “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I’ve been through some similar things…” He thought about his next words carefully before deciding he had to say something true about himself, “I was also a Hydra experiment, Y/N. That’s the people who did those awful things to you.”
Y/N narrowed and her brow pulled together at his words, tilting her head, “You… You were an experiment too?” She repeats his words before her eyes widened slightly, “Is-is that why you’ve been hanging out with me? Pretending to enjoy my presence?” She stood suddenly, taking a few steps away from Bucky, “Are you here to take me back to them or for your own use? Because I’m not a battery! And I won’t ever be a prisoner again!” She shouted towards him, her finger tips starting to spark electricity again.
Bucky quickly threw his hands up in a non threatening manner again at her sudden hostility but he understood where it came from. During the most important years of Y/N’s life, she was taken prisoner, kept isolated away from other people and taught not to trust anybody besides Damon, something nobody should have to go through but yet Y/N came out alive and kind which fascinated Bucky even more, “No, Y/N!” He told her in a stern voice, “I honestly like hanging out with you. I definitely do not work with Hydra in any aspect. I was sent here because somebody has been ripping out Hydra agent’s hearts and snapping their necks which I figure is Damon’s doing. I had to come see if there was a problem and why Hydra was snooping around.”
Y/N clenched her jaw a little, her teeth gritting together slightly as she listened to him. But something about the way Bucky was looking at her made her trust him. He had pain in his eyes as well and it reflected the own pain that was inside of her, “Damon was just trying to protect me… They don’t stop, they never do. They’re always waiting around every corner and find me anywhere I go.” She told him, the electricity in her fingers disappearing as she calmed down. She moved back to sit on the couch beside Bucky but continued to watch him carefully.
Bucky felt relief again as Y/N seemed to calm down and her hostility towards him seemed to fade. The last thing he wanted to do was become an enemy towards her and someone she couldn’t trust in her life, “I know, I was chased for a long time too and Hydra made me do awful things.” He sighed, feeling like he had to share his story now to show she could trust him, “In the 19040’s, I was taken by Hydra. They had already turned me into a super soldier, like your friend Damon, but they brainwashed me successfully and used me as a weapon for decades until 2014. I’m 106 years old, doll.”
Y/N’s jaw dropped at Bucky’s words, “Oh my god..” She managed to say before giving him an apologetic look, “I’m so sorry, Bucky. That’s awful. I’m sorry.” She said, reaching out a hand to squeeze his arm without realizing what she was doing. It was just instinct for Y/N to try and be there for others, be kind and Bucky Barnes was no different.
Bucky’s lips curved into a small smile, he couldn’t help it. The way Y/N was instinctively kind made him feel some sort of hope inside him for something better for him. If she could live through the trauma she went through, maybe he could too and come out a better person like Y/N had. Just as Bucky was about to speak, the moment was ruined as Damon strolled on in through the door.
Damon’s eyes flickered between the two, narrowing at the sight. He wasn’t expecting this, he had expected to see Y/N alone curled up with her dog. Then he noticed the dry tear trails on Y/N’s face, causing him to frown and in an instant he grabbed Bucky by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against a wall, “What did you do?!” He growled out at Bucky.
Y/N’s eyes widened as Damon slammed Bucky into the wall, “Damon, stop!” She yelled at him but Damon didn’t back off. She quickly stood, watching it unfold.
Bucky used his vibranium arm to grab onto Damon’s wrist, twisting it and pushing him away. That didn’t stop Damon from coming at Bucky again which caused Bucky to land a punch to Damon’s cheek causing him to fall backwards onto the floor.
“Bucky!” Y/N yelled this time, watching as Damon got back up and walked towards Bucky with anger all over his complexion. Y/N got between the two dark haired men before they could make contact with each other again, placing her palms on each of their chests to stop them from getting any closer to each other, “Hey, knock it off or I swear to god I’m going to shock both of you to the point you see tweety birds around your heads.” She turned to Damon, “I’m fine, Damon.” Y/N turned to look at Bucky, taking a deep breath, “I think we all need to talk.”
TAGLIST: @wooya1224 @big-galaxy-chaos @buckys2thicc
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Pretty Like This
𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: Mafia Bucky believes you look pretty when you’re screaming his name.
𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: Mafia Bucky x Reader
𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 1K
𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Mirror sex, Smut, Fingering, Praise kink, Ring Kink
A/N: Drabble Thursday (requested)
𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘢’𝘥 by the wonderful @whisperlullaby but 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 (𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵)
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Outside the bedroom, Bucky is a ruthless, stoic mob boss. Few have seen him show emotion beyond a quirk of his brow. He’s unreadable, brutal and fastidious.
Inside this room, he’s yours. While the world may bow to his feet, fearing his wrath. He kneels at yours, craving your sweetness.
Brilliant golden flames flicker from the tall candles, scents of rose and vanilla float around the room. Hushed breaths shared between passionate kisses along your collarbone, back up to your lips, his enormous hands on your thighs.
He pulls away from your mouth with a slight frown on his swollen lips. He’s missed you.
Bucky gazes down at your upturned face, his thumb tracing over your jaw, dragging over the outline of your lips.
“You’re going to come apart for me, doll, you’re going to be so good for me.” His baritone gravelly with lust. You shiver, feeling it, him, on your skin.
Large warm hands move up your bare arms, his rings leaving chilled imprints. He’s been waiting all morning for you and now that he has you, he doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.
You’ve been hard on yourself lately, working too hard. Bucky had to step in and take care of you. His job as your man is to make sure he meets your needs. In and out of the bedroom. Right now you need to relax and he knows the best way for you to do that.
He turns you to face the round gilded mirror. Your back rests against his chest, the crisp, cool linen of his button-down shifts across your skin. Long muscular legs hook under your thighs, opening them up slowly.
His black jacket tossed on the floor by your feet. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black watch reflecting the soft light.
You’re exposed, body and soul to him. All of you, every last piece belongs to him, he’s going to cherish you. Staring at his reflection, the sight of his stormy slate-blue eyes roaming lazily over your naked body makes you shiver in his arms. Oh, he feels you, a rich, appreciative groan under his breath.
You should be nervous, vulnerable even, but you’re not. Surrounded by him, his smoky cedar scent settling around you, all you can feel is safe, love, protected.
“Lean back and let me love you, doll.” A demand and plea wrapped in one breathy murmur against your neck. Hands curve under your breasts, his thumbs sweeping across your nipples. Sparks of heady arousal radiate to your pussy.
“Tonight, I’m going to fuck you, split you open on my cock until you can only remember my name, doll.”
His hands trail down your belly, “but right now, this is all about you,” he continues, his fingers spread across your thighs, “Tell me how you feel doll.”
“Good,” you say, unable to keep your eyes on him. He hasn’t done anything and you’re already falling apart. How are you going to survive him?
It’s a slow tease along your inner thighs, long fingers tapping up to your cunt, dripping and aching for him.
You’ve been wet, needy, and wanting since he cornered you in the hallway, caging you between his thick thighs, removing your clothes piece by piece, the unveiling of your bare skin celebrated by his lips, his hands so greedy for you.
He murmurs more praises, “so pretty, all this for me,” Bucky looks up, his lips barely leaving your skin, “keep your eyes on me.”
You drag your gaze back to the mirror, an astonished gasp caught in your throat. His eyes capture yours in the clear glass, his cock is hard against your back, throbbing for you. But it’s his eyes, hooded and deep, that tell you how much he wants you.
He spreads your folds, “look at your pretty pussy, do you know how tight your little pussy is, doll?”
He hums, low, breathy. “You take my cock like a good girl, always dripping for me, such a greedy girl, aren’t you?”
He’s so proud, it’s evident in every word, so proud of you every time you fall apart on his cock, letting him stretch you until he can feel all over you wrapped so tight around him.
It takes everything not to cum the second he’s in you, wants to fuck you until you’re whimpering and trembling beneath him before he lets go.
You open your mouth, unsure of how to respond, your face burning from his filthy praises.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say a word, not when you can sing for me,” he smirks, sinking two long fingers into your wet heat, his thumb rubbing your clit the way you like.
“Ah, fuck,” you wantonly moan, bucking your hips. His fingers gliding over your walls, slow and steady. A dull carnal pressure building in your belly when his pace increases. Those thick digits swallowed by your tight walls, you don’t want to let them go.
You stare helplessly at his fingers working your cunt, the lewd sloshing of your wet pussy gets louder with each twist of his fingers.
Your eyes flutter shut when he finds that secret spot right there, the smooth metal of his ring slides over it, so good, right there, right there.
You’re chanting, praying for him to not stop. He’s pounding you so hard and fast, tears burn your eyes as he keeps your shaking legs apart.
Bucky smacks your inner thigh, “look at me, want you to see how pretty you are when you cum for me doll.”
You pry your eyes open at the sharp sting, another sob ripped from you when he turns his wrist.
Bucky’s hypnotized by debauched you are. His eyes never leaving your body, his cock throbbing as your back arches, breasts swaying with each shameless roll of your hips into his hand, meeting each sloppy thrust.
Blindly reaching behind your head, you grab a handful of his chestnut locks, pulling him closer to you.
“I- shit, Bucky,” you groan out his name when he curls his fingers. God, he’s good, too good, your hips stutter when he grinds down on your clit mercilessly. An unwavering spasm of pleasure pulsating through you.
“Look at you, doll, so fucking beautiful, you’re doing so good, give me another,” his praise tainted by a growing need to ruin you.
It’s so hard to breathe, small broken whimpers pulled from you. “Please, Bucky, oh fu-Bucky,”
“Oh, you can take more doll, I know you can,” he says lovingly in your ear as if he weren’t pounding your swollen pussy relentlessly, making you keen from the sensations. “You’re so damn good, I can’t believe how good you are.”
He doesn’t stop, not even when you yank his hair hard, his head jerking down, his blue eyes reflecting back at you.
“That’s it, doll.” He smiles smugly, he loves when you lose control like this, his scalp prickling with pain as you continue to pull his hair, “Next time, I’m going to make you fuck yourself, let you feel how wet and hot you get when you cum, going to make to beg for me.”
He nips your earlobe, palming your nipple. “If you want my cock, you better cum now doll,” he teases, pushing you closer to the edge.
He makes you look at him, his deep voice in your ear, eyes on him, his dark blues encouraging you to cum for him. God, you want to, you can feel the pleasure building back up. Heady and thick within you.
Oh, you’re not ready, barely able to hold on before your climax springs loose, fiery waves wrapping you in toe curling bliss, his hand steadying your hips as you cry out. Your vision blurring until you see stars. Falling back on his firm chest, his fingers slow to soothing strokes, leaving you breathless and sated.
“Fuck, doll, you’re incredible,” he murmurs, Another earnestly spoken praise that makes you melt into him. “Told you look so beautiful when you cum for me.”
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Hey all! Today is Sam Wilson's birthday!!
To spread the Sam love here is a list of some great Sam centric fics (some may contain smut so observe warnings and be 18+ if you choose to read it):
Set In Stone and Paper Thin by @xbuchananbarnes
But Keep Your Heart Up (Sambucky) by @thegodswife
Hopefully Not the Last (drabble) by @callmeluna
Enigma (contains smut so for only the 18+ crowd) by @samwilsons-pillowpecs Suz also has a series Identity which I haven't read (it's on my list!) that I'm certain is awesome!
Close Shave (Sambucky) by @siancore
The Bartender by @barnesandco
Sparks Fly by @nacho-bucky
Cadence by @babiiface95
And my own Sam Wilson masterlist (my faves of my own are Lift, How Sweet It Is, and The Parcae)
Here are a few that I haven't read but that I'm confident are great:
Memory Loss by @captain-kelli
Bibliophile by @nacho-bucky
Freefalling Through Silence by @unremarkablegirl
Please feel free to add to this list if you like, but more importantly please take a minute to give Sam Wilson the love that he so rightfully deserves.
Happy Birthday Captain!! 😘
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ignoti nulla cupido | part twelve.
summary: natasha finds you once again to be able to keep her an tony’s promise to keep you safe, but how would they react when they’ll learn about the little dirty secret you have been keeping since you left bucky’s side?
word count: 1185.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader.
warnings: just a bit of a cliffhnager.
author’s note: action starts now, be prepared! and btw, chace is back for all of those who fell in love with him!
ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.
The car came to an abrupt stop in the middle of nowhere, or at least that was all (Y/N) could see; a vast large open area with nothing, not even life was anywhere to be seen. It was a dessert, cracks were seen in the dry soil and she thought that HYDRA couldn’t place its base in a more proper place.
“This is the place according to my intel (Y/N),” Chace spoke softly looking at her eyes.
“Okay, lead the way,” she firmly said as she geared up, every possible weapon was now stuck in her combat suit. It’s been too long since she last wore it and she had hoped she would never have to wear it again but the circumstances never felt more right to do so.
With a nod and a grip to her shoulder, Chace started to move carefully around the field, gun pointed forward in case someone decided to make an appearance.
She followed him, the silence that had settled among them provided the calmness and safety she needed at the moment before the battle, because it was going to be one hell of a battle, she was sure of it.
They came to an arrangement or rocks, they were not out of place but for the training eye, they felt suspicious as if they were placed there carefully to keep some secret hidden, the entrance to a HYDRA base for example.
“This is it (Y/N), are you sure you want to do this?” Chace searched in her eyes for a signal that this was wrong, that maybe she wanted or needed the help of someone else to do it.
“Yes. This is it, we’re getting James back today,” her voice was firm and void, something he had never heard since the night she escaped from the Avengers.
Moving the rocks aside Chace let her get in first, he knew her like the palm of his hand and he could feel her eagerness to deal with it and go back to a normal life, he could feel her anger boiling as any mass of water around her would turn into vapour and he couldn’t help to start thinking that maybe this was a bad idea.
The halls were all silent and empty and both of them knew that this wasn’t something desirable, that it meant that the greater danger would be unified in a room in which many lives will be lost, probably theirs too.
Lights were flickering from the ceiling charging the aura around them with terror and hopelessness, metal doors were closed and other halls were blocked as if whatever was in there knew they were coming, as they were being led to the point of no return.
Finally, they reached heavy and big gates but before (Y/N) could reach them, she felt a presence in her shoulders and she knew it was Chace but this time it didn’t feel like a comforting gesture, this time it felt like a warning.
She sighed heavenly, she didn’t have time for this as James could be possible be dead or worse behind those doors.
“I know what you’re feeling (Y/N/N) but maybe we should call them, not he but the others. This doesn’t look or feel good and you know it too.”
Before she could reply, a piercing scream was cursing through her mind making her, reaching to her ears in hopes she could block the sound but it was to no avail.
“What it is? What it is (Y/N)?” Chace screamed to her as he kneeled down so he could be at the same level as her. But (Y/N) couldn’t respond, the sound in her head was making everything blurred – she didn’t notice she started crying or the thick liquid that was coating her hands, she only could hear that ripping scream in her mind that had started to make some sense.
Chace saw the panic in her eyes, saw how the blood was impregnating her hands and face and how she was fighting to utter some words but nothing came from her mouth, only whimpers.
When she felt she would pass out from the pain she deciphered the sound, she figured out what was that screaming; it was a crying for help, it was James crying for her to get him, to save him.
Suddenly everything went quiet again and (Y/N) was again aware of her surroundings, she became aware of the salt taste fixed in her lips and how the blood that came from her ears were now everywhere in her face.
Wasting no time she got up and charged for the gates as she whispered one name as a mantra, as a way to keep her grounded to reality, James.
Chance understood what was going on and helped her in her task of opening the doors, finally being able to open them and to peer at what’s inside of the room, a little boy seated down and tied to a chair, gaze void of any emotion.
Before he could realize what was happening, before he could stop her, before anything he saw how (Y/N) made a run for him.
She was in front of his boy, trying to break him off of whatever spell he was under, untying him and holding tightly into her arms as she whispered soft words to him.
“I see you finally came and what a surprise this is it, Chace Turner,” a low voice spoke as a man came out of the shadows.
“What did you do to him?”
“Well, you see Turner. I don’t think that’s none of your business because you are not the father and as much I would like to stay I think it’s not gonna happen,” he moved slowly through the room, as a predator ready to jump for its prey and (Y/N) realized that it was the same man that took James away from him.
“I wouldn’t dare to move one more inch,” her voice was broken but it didn’t matter, James was there and she was going to kill that man.
He laughed, a devil laughed that made (Y/N)’s blood freeze. “Doll, doll, doll…. I was hoping daddy would come with you to this one but what can I say? He’ll come sooner or later so it’s not a big problem.”
A large group of men appeared behind Chace giving him no reaction time as they dragged him out, sounds of firing guns echoed through the room they were in and (Y/N) turned to James, grabbing his little hand and pulling him away so they could flee but the boy didn’t move and she started to panicked.
“James, c’mon little monkey. We need to go, we need to go back home” tears were blurring her sight as she shook his child hoping any reaction would follow.
He finally fixed his blue eyes in her, his hand reaching to her cheek and (Y/N) couldn’t help but lean to the touch but she noticed the void in his eyes as he spoke to her for the first time in weeks.
“Who is James? Who are you?”
forever taglist: @everythingisbeautifulposts | @rogersparkerbarnes | @saltywolfzombie | @millennial-teenybopper |
bucky barnes fics taglist: @cruelsummer-s |
ignoti nulla cupido taglist [THIS TAGLIST IS CLOSED]: @vicmc624 | @margaaaa30 | @gudenuph | @summb | @peaches-roses-sins | @pspice639 | @purplewcrld | @gloryekaterina | @krazykatkay456 | @fangirl-swagg | @austynparksandpizza | @4babez | @tanyaherondale | @droopingdatura | @loveyou5everr | @urimaginespimp | @nat-reads | @asherys-valyrion | @crimson-darling | @melrosaeparker | @uglyratlmao | @sugarpunch-princess | @5jacobm5 | @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere | @kaitieskidmore1 |
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Remember Me: Chapter Three
Summary: Y/N and Bucky were the unlikely match when it came to love, but they were inseparable since they met. After a fight, Y/N left to be a trauma surgeon in the military and returns without her memories. How will Bucky remind Y/N how she is the fire in his bones?
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Mentions of drugging and sexual assault. Small bit of violence.
All Writings Masterlist
*gifs not mine
Chapter Three - Hunger
Bucky had been awake most of the night watching Y/N sleep soundly on his lap but eventually his tiredness took over and he fell asleep himself. When he opened his eyes to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, he immediately looked down to see Y/N not there anymore. There was a small bubble of panic as he got up quickly, walking to the kitchen to see Peggy with a mug of coffee. Without a word, she pointed to the front door with a smile to let him know where Y/N was. Bucky gave a soft smile of thankfulness before making his way to the front door, opening it as his eyes fell on Y/N’s back as she sat on the porch steps. He froze in that moment, listening her hum the tune to their song. Was she remembering bits and pieces? He slowly moved to sit next to to her.
Y/N stopped humming when she noticed Bucky sit by her, looking at him quickly. She had a banana on her lap with a cut through it and was practicing sutures on it with tweezers in her hands that held the needle and thread, “Good morning, sleepy head.” She said with a smile towards him before returning her focus on her practice sutures, “You ever wake up with a song in your head that feels like it’s your favorite song but can’t remember it? Because I cannot get this song out of my head and I can’t look it up because I don’t know the words, just the tune.”
Bucky smiled over at her, watching as she threaded the needle through the peel of the banana and suture the peel back together with black thread, “Everyday darlin’,” He told her. Their song had been stuck in his head on repeat since the night they found it. It was one of his favorite memories. Y/N had snuck out with him and they went to a field on his dirt bike. He had brought a blanket so they could watch the stars together while the little radio he had played music. He kissed her for the first time to the song Hunger by Ross Copperman. It had been stuck in his head from that moment on, like a theme song to their relationship, “Is the banana going to make it?”
Y/N giggled a little bit, “I think so. I’m a very good surgeon.” She told him as she tied a knot onto the last suture and put the tweezers down in her lap as well, “There. He should live a long life of 24 hours before he turns to mush.” She looked back at him, running her eyes along his facial features. She had never seen a smile so sincere that she could remember, “I’m practicing so eventually I can go back to work at the hospital. From what Steve says, I have a very good reputation there as their old trauma surgeon and they’d be happy to have me back. Plus I still have all my memories when it comes to medicine and surgical procedures which should help.”
“That’s great.” Bucky told her, happy that she was still pursuing the thing she had dreamed about since she graduated. Y/N was still her, even without her memories. He couldn’t help but wish the things she remembered were him and the love they had between them. It was an epic love and Bucky wanted that back, “I should probably head home and change into some clean clothes. I’ll be back later to replace the fan in your room so you can sleep soundly.”
Y/N looked at him, observing him as he spoke. She could see something in his eyes that didn’t want to leave. Or maybe it was that he didn’t want to leave her. She bit her lip, “I was actually thinking, since we were so close before, maybe seeing your place would bring back some memories. Plus Peggy already said they didn’t have anything for breakfast.” She smiled at him, “Do you have breakfast supplies? I can cook while you change and stuff.”
Bucky grinned at her idea, it was just what he wanted. Her to come home with him, “Sounds like a plan, doll.” He told her, knowing he had supplies for her favorite food already. He had gone to the store as soon as he heard she was coming home, buying all her favorite things to eat in case she remembered him and came back home, “You think you remember how to make blueberry pancakes?”
Y/N scrunched her nose as if trying to think of the steps on how to cook, “Nope.” She said with a large pucker of her lips on the sound of the ‘p,’ “But I’m a surgeon. I can figure out how to make pancakes… probably.” She said with a small laugh before licking her lips and staring at him, “Does this mean you’re taking me home on your motorcycle?”
Bucky stood and smiled down at her, “Oh no, I still think you need some more time after I found you walking down the street in the middle of the night. I just live a street down, we can walk it isn’t far.” As much as he would like to take her home on his bike, he didn’t want to rush things with her and knew Steve wouldn’t be too keen on the idea.
Y/N nodded, a little sad she wasn’t going to be able to remember the feeling Bucky had told her about when she rode with him but was happy to adventure out of the four walls of Steve’s home. She stood by him for a moment before opening the door and telling Peggy she was going with Bucky and she was alright before turning back to the dark haired man, “Lead the way, Bucky.” She told him with a smile and a wave of her hand, following as he walked, “I’m curious, tell me more about this girl you loved.”
Bucky looked at her as he walked down the sidewalk beside her, “Love.” He corrected, “I still love her and I always will.” He stared at her for a moment as if waiting for her to say it back before connoting, “We were a very unlikely match, total opposites. I already told you she was smart, I have no idea how she fell in love with me. I was a mess, always getting in fights and causing trouble. When she came into my life, she was like the little angel that appeared on my shoulder that helped me choose the right path to go down.” He smiled at the memories, “But she always told me I was the one that made her feel truly alive, like the world was brighter and made sense. She calmed my wild soul and I brought out the wild in her’s.” He had rambled on the whole time they walked, not being able to stop himself until they were in his driveway, “Home, sweet, home.”
Y/N smiled as she listened to Bucky talk about the woman he loved. It was obvious he was still completely and undeniably in love with her. She looked at the house, taking in its features when they stopped, “It’s a pretty house.” She complimented before following him inside. She watched Bucky hurry and pick up a shoe box on the coffee table, taking it into what she assumed was his bedroom. Curiosity sparked in her as it seemed like Bucky didn’t want her to see it and that made her want to know more but wouldn’t pry. She went to the kitchen, “Okay… Pancakes..” She said to herself as she closed her eyes tightly trying to remember the ingredients. When she opened them, Bucky was already pulling out all the ingredients with a smile on his lips, “Thank you. I’ll try not the screw it up.”
Bucky watched her scan over the ingredients and when he saw she didn’t remember where to start, he pulled out a notebook. Y/N always wrote down the recipes she loved. It helped Bucky cook a few meals for her when she got home from working at the hospital, “Here’s the recipe. You got this.” He encouraged, “I’m going to take a quick shower. Try not to burn the house down.” He said as he started walking out of the kitchen and down a hallway towards the bathroom.
Y/N watched him go before scanning her eyes over the recipe. She tilted her head as she recognized it as her own hand writing. She bit her lip lost in thought for a moment, trying to put puzzle pieces together. She finally snapped out of it and looked at the ingredients nodding to herself, “Alright, Y/N. You know how to do a double lung transplant. You can make blueberry pancakes.” She encouraged herself. She wondered around the kitchen, finding pans and utensils to help and started the mission of making breakfast.
Bucky came out to find Y/N flipping pancakes with extreme focus on her face as if it was a life or death situation which made him smile. He wore dark jeans with a short sleeved black shirt that showed off his tattooed left arm. He walked into the kitchen, gently taking the spatula from Y/N who looked grateful that he was taking over, “They look delicious. I’ll finish up.” He told her, adding the blueberries and flipping the pancakes.
Y/N let out a sigh of relief when Bucky took over, stepping back and hoping up onto the counter as she watched him closely, observing every move he made while he cooked. She couldn’t deny she was attracted to him, something about him drew her towards him. She ran her eyes up and down his figure, biting her lip as she took in every part of him. Y/N was very observant and when she saw the small red heart tattoos between the rest of his ink, her eyes narrowed. She recognized them as her own which made her curiosity grow. When she first woke up after having the bullet removed, the doctors had her draw shapes and write her name to make sure she still had the ability to write and those hearts looked exactly like the ones she had drawn.
Bucky turned to look at Y/N, seeing her looking at his tattoos. He wondered if it was sparking anything to remember him. He held two plates of pancakes in his hands which he set down on the table gently before pulling out the syrup and pulling out a chair for Y/N, “Breakfast is served.”
Y/N took a seat in the chair Bucky pulled out for her, “Thank you.” She said with a smile towards him, picking up the syrup and slathering enough on to cause a toothache, but she always had a sweet tooth. She licked her lips slightly at the view before digging in.
Bucky kept his promise to Y/N, replacing the fan in her bedroom with a small chandelier which made her smile when it sparkled in the light. Y/N got to know Bucky better. He was over everyday entertaining her but as much as she brought up the idea of Bucky taking her on a ride, he would deny it and his reason was that Steve wouldn’t like it. Y/N was smart and everyday she spent with Bucky and listened to him talk about the girl he once loved, the puzzle pieces slowly started to be put together in her mind. She had a feeling by the way he talked and spoke to her that she may be this mystery woman that he had broken the heart of but she wouldn’t know unless she asked. One day at dinner with Steve and Peggy, Y/N finally built up the courage to confront her brother on her thoughts, “Stevie, did Bucky and I use to date?” She said out of the blue.
Peggy and Steve both almost choked on their food at the question, sharing a look. Steve looked at Y/N trying to keep a straight face, “What.. Why would you ask that?”
Y/N bit her lip, narrowing her eyes at their reaction. She was pretty sure she was given her answer by the way they choked on their food. Or she was dead wrong and they couldn’t believe her question, “Just some things I’ve noticed. He has a recipe book in my handwriting at his house and the heart tattoos look like hearts I draw.” She said, giving him a short list instead of talking about the way Bucky looks and speaks to her. The way he made her feel.
Steve opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find a good answer so looked to Peggy with pleading eyes for help.
Peggy looked at Steve then smiled gently at Y/N, “You should talk to Bucky about that, honey.” She said simply.
Y/N frowned a little at them, her eyes flickering between the two, “Why can’t you just tell me?”
They both stayed silent for a moment as if trying to think of a good answer, glancing at each other and their food trying to avoid eye contact with Y/N who was staring at them intently.
Y/N rolls her eyes and sighs, standing up, “I’m not going to break.” She told them with bitterness in her voice before walking towards the front door. She grabbed her small backpack and a jacket, pulling it over her figure and opening the front door, “Don’t report me as missing person!” She called back before exiting the home. She walked down the street, muttering words under her breath in frustration towards her brother. Why couldn’t he just answer the question? It bothered her and she wanted answers about who she was and who she was to Bucky. Y/N found herself walking into a bar, smiling slightly when she saw someone she recognized sitting at the bar from the BBQ, Sam. Y/N hoped up on the stool next to him, “Hi. Sam, right?”
Sam looked at her, holding a bottle of beer in his hands, “Y/N! Yeah, Sam.” he smiled at her. He had known her for a few years, he was one of Steve’s army friends, “Whatcha doin here?”
Y/N shrugs, “Brothers being annoying. Needed to get away for a little bit. Do you know what kind of alcohol I like?” She asks with a tilt of her head. She remembered she has drank before but couldn’t remember what she enjoyed.
“Tequila. Lots of tequila.” Sam remembered with a small laugh, “You said it got you through your surgical internship.” He waved his hand at the bartender, “Can we get a tequila shot?” To which the bartender nodded and placed it in front of Y/N with a lime.
Y/N narrows her eyes at the liquid in the shot glass in front of her with a lime resting on the top, “Okay, so lime first or second?”
Sam chuckled, picking up the lime and putting it on his napkin, “You don’t like the lime.” He reminded before watching her take the shot and her nose crinkle, “Just like old times.”
Y/N wrinkled her nose at the sting then let out a small laugh, “Yup. That is definitely something I would fall in love with.” She looked away from Sam as another man sat next to her with a smile. She didn’t recognize him but from the look on his face it seemed like he knew her from how comfortable he was to come up to her.
“Hey, pretty girl.” The short haired dark man said to her. He had a sharp jaw that matched his sharp cheek bones with some stubble for a beard, “It’s been a while.”
Y/N bit her lip at the new man, “I’m sorry… I don’t remember who you are.” She told him, “I lost my memories on deployment from an injury so you’re going to have to reintroduce yourself.” She added quickly as to not hurt his feelings.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He smiles at her before holding out his hand, “Brock Rumlow. We used to hang out, or at least you came to one of my parties when we were younger. It was fun.”
Y/N scrunched her nose in thought, “Nope, sorry don’t remember. But it’s nice to meet you again.” She smiled at him. She hadn’t noticed Sam glaring at the man and didn’t notice when he got up and walked away to make a call.
Sam stood away from as many people as he could, dialing a number on his phone and pressing it to his ear as he watched Y/N talk to Brock who was buying her another shot of tequila, “Hey, Buck. It’s Sam…. I’m at the Howlin’ Cammandos bar with Y/N…. She said her brother was being annoying and wound up here, I don’t know man. Listen, Rumlow just came over and reintroduced himself to her…. Yes, Brock Rumlow the one you and Steve told me about…. He’s buying her shot after shot… Alright, I’ll stay close to her..” He hung up the phone, shaking his head before returning to his spot beside Y/N, listening to Brock put all the moves on her while she laughed like it was the first time she had heard his cheesy pick-up lines which Sam determined was because she couldn’t remember hearing them before.
It didn’t take long for Bucky to walk through the doors, immediately grabbing Brock by his shoulder to turn him around before landing a hard punch straight to his nose. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pushing him up against the bar, “I told you to never come near her again!” He growled out at Brock before landing a punch to Brock’s cheek followed by another. He wasn’t holding back, he was putting everything he had into every punch.
Y/N jumped a little at the sight, her jaw falling open as she watched Bucky punch Brock. She looked at Sam as if it say ‘help’ and watched as Sam got up and separated the two, pushing Brock out the door telling him to get out of here. Y/N looked at Bucky once Sam had gotten rid of Brock, “What the hell, Bucky?” She said to him.
Bucky turned his angry stare to Y/N after watching Sam drag Brock out the doors, “C’mon. I’m taking you home.” He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her outside. Sam was standing out there, watching as Brock’s car pulled out onto the street before heading back inside with a nod towards Bucky. Bucky kept pulling Y/N towards his motorcycle, passing her a helmet, “Put it on.”
Y/N held the helmet in her hands for a moment before setting it down on the seat of his Harley, “No. Not until you tell me what that was all about.”
Bucky rolled his eyes at her stubbornness, picking up the helmet again and holding it out to her, “Put it on, Y/N. I’m taking you home.” He said again in a more stern voice.
Y/N folded her arms instead of taking the helmet, frowning at him. She was already irritated at Steve and now she felt like she was being babysat by Bucky, “Talk or I walk.”
Bucky stared at her, knowing that look. She was stubborn and she would walk away from him if he didn’t spill what he knew, “Fine, Y/N. When you were eighteen you went to a party at Brock’s house because we got in a fight. You thought he slipped something in your drink and called me right away. I got there just in time to find his hands all over you in his bedroom while you were passed out but it hadn’t gone any further than him copping a feel. I told him if he ever came near you again, I’d kill him.” He sighs, “Now you’re back with no memories and he would’ve taken advantage of that. He’s not a good person, Y/N.”
Y/N looked suddenly saddened as Bucky spoke, her lips parting a little in shock. That was something she rather not remember and was partly grateful she wouldn’t have that memory living inside her brain. She looked down, “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” She apologized. She sighed deeply before dropping her hands to her sides, “I asked Steve something tonight and he wouldn’t answer me. Peggy said I should talk to you about it.”
Bucky’s couldn’t help but frown as Y/N looked sad, that was something he didn’t want her to remember. It was an awful memory for both of them and Bucky had never felt such rage when he saw Brock’s hands all over her. He had beaten Brock to a pulp, almost unrecognizable and he would’ve again tonight if Sam wasn’t there to stop him, “What is it, doll?” He asks in a gentle tone, knowing whatever she had asked Steve was bothering her.
Y/N ran her tongue along her lips for a moment, not daring to look at Bucky. She wanted to know and she felt like she already knew the answer from all the hints Bucky had given her. Half of her didn’t want to ask but the tequila was giving her courage and the need to know was overwhelming, “Am I the girl you talk about? The one you still love?”
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maam please may i request more information on our boy and dacryphilia
in conjunction w/ the previous ask!! a lit bit of edging, a lil bit of crying. bottom bucky bc i love him like that ♥ please stop reading if you are not 18+
brooklyn after dark masterlist
He’s fisting the sheets. His body’s just one huge pulled muscle at this point. His abs have been so tight his stomach hurts. He’s had such a long fucking day; it’s been stupid and exhausting and he’s frustrated in every sense of the word.
“I can’t again--” Bucky squeezes his eyes shut, chasing pleasure.
“What’s that, James? You can’t what?”
“S-stop--” You’re such an asshole. You only call him James when you’re doing this. “Baby,” he mewls, “Fuckin’... oh---oh...”
His brain’s useless static because you push him right up to it, closer than last one, closer than the one before that. He’s a hair trigger away every. goddamn. time. but you pull back so fast and the whine he lets out is more like a sob.
It’s been hours. He’s agonized, up on his elbows, panting, throat dry, sweating, watching you between his legs, working with your mouth and hands and smiling at him.
Doesn’t matter what he says, threatens, begs, swears, you just keep rubbing with your palm, your nimble fingers, your tight grip. Lips puckered and glossy with spit and precome that doesn’t stop leaking out of him, making these obscene fucking sounds at the base of his shaft, at the curve of his balls, tugging them into your mouth, keeping them there while he prays for mercy.
You purr and lick and nuzzle into him like you can’t get enough, like you’d be happy there between his thighs until the end of time.
“Fuck, sweetheart. You gotta let me come, I need to— need to fuckin’ come.” Bucky groans when you give him a slow lick up to his throbbing tip, swirling your tongue at the end, then shoving him down until you choke yourself on it. He jerks up reflexively, getting in two quick thrusts before you weave away.
Then back at it, building him up to the edge of shattering.
When he finally does, he’ll be out for the next seven days. Take off work the whole week. He swears it.
He stops blinking because he’s gotta focus, trying to beat you to the punch, and maybe this time it’s because he wins, or maybe it’s because he looks so fucking pathetic that you let him win, but you pull off and it happens so fucking hard he bites down on his lip and makes the most embarrassing sound.
His head drops back onto the pillow like a ton of bricks. Bucky’s completely limp. Chills all over. Shaking. He’s a boneless mess of a man, taken to pieces by his girl.
He doesn’t even realize it, but you’ve moved up next to him, kissing his cheek and that’s when he feels the wetness on your lips isn’t just his sweat.
“Aw,” you tease, “So sensitive.”
You kiss him, licking his own tears into his mouth, his own taste onto his tongue. And it’s so weirdly hot that his heart starts fluttering again, like he’s seeing you for the first time, making love for the first time.
At the end of a long day, of every long day, isn’t he blessed to come home to you? To come good, to you?
And, suddenly, the blood in his swollen chest rushes straight down and —would you look at that— Bucky's ready for seconds.
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can i interest anybody in bucky drabbles on this fine wednesday night?? requests r open
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speak now / bucky barnes x reader
summary: where bucky is getting married to the wrong girl. based on taylor swift's song speak now. alternate universe where bucky is not an avenger. set in modern times.
warnings: like two curse words. wedding crashing. nothing else i think.
word count: 1,104
After a business trip out of town, you rummage through your mailbox that has been filling up for the last two weeks.
Bill, junk, junk, bill, Wanda's baby shower invitation, bill. At the bottom of the pile, however, the piece of postage you saw made your heart stop.
Join us for the wedding of James "Bucky" Barnes and Cara Sawyer. Your eyes fill with tears. I can't believe he's getting married, you think, quickly opening the door to your house and plopping down on your couch.
The last time you and Bucky were dating was a year and a half ago. The two of you had been dating since college, where Bucky was studying law and you were studying journalism. The two of you dated off and on, throughout the entirety of college, until finally becoming mature to date for four years with few problems.
You and Bucky parted ways mutually, deciding that the careers you two had chosen would not allow time spent together. You cannot believe he had met someone and asked her to marry him, not even two years later.
You pull out your phone and dial Wanda.
"Hey, Y/N! How was your trip, girl?" she greets, happy to hear from her best friend.
"Wanda, did you know Bucky was getting married?" you answer. You feel bad for not greeting her back, but you couldn't bother with such as that at this moment.
"I heard. I got the invitation in the mail last week. Don't do anything stupid, Y/N."
"Wanda, I love him. I know it's a shitty time for me to realize that, what with him getting fucking married, but I miss him."
"I know you do, Y/N. But that's just it. He's getting married. You got to let him go."
"I know. But it's hard."
"Come over soon, okay? You can help me and Vis with the nursery."
"I will, Wanda. I have to wallow in self-pity first. Love you."
"Love you too, babe." The phone line clicks and you pour yourself a glass of wine.
After many drinks, you find yourself on your phone, debating on sending a text. Sober me will be very, very upset in the morning. You decide to click on the contact anyways.
Don't say a single vow. Meet me when you're out of the church at the back door. You know it's a mistake, but you click send anyway.
Within minutes, you see the three dots signifying that he is typing.
Come on, Y/N. Don't you think it's too late for that?
Embarrassed, you don't reply to his text.
For the rest of the night, you lay in your bed, holding one of his old hoodies and crying.
For the next couple weeks, you were barely focused. You had been slacking at work and your boss was taking notice. One day, you felt so terribly you were sent home early.
I need him back, you think. Rummaging through your closet, you try to find the perfect dress to wow him with. In the back, you found a hidden gem. The dress was dark blue, with a waistband that accentuated your figure in just the right ways. You looked perfect in it.
You didn't know if it was too late to get him back, but you sure as hell were gonna try.
Driving to the venue, you find yourself chewing on your fingernails. You were either about to make the best or the worst mistake of your entire life.
Upon entering the chapel, you make an effort to find someone that you know. Lounging in the lobby, you find Steve and Nat, along with Wanda and Vis.
"Hey, guys," you greet nervously.
Wanda gives you a knowing look, one that almost scares you out of what you were about to do. Almost.
"Hey, Y/N! How have you been?" Nat greets, giving you a hug.
"I've been fine. Work has kept me busy, though. What about you guys?" All of you exchange small talk for a while until a door opens and you notice it is where the bride and her family are presiding until the ceremony.
You had to admit, Cara was flawless. Her black hair reached the middle of her back, curled into perfect waves. You thought her puffy gown was tacky, though.
The family leaves the room, all dressed in pastel pink colors. Bucky hates pink, you think. The bride's sister takes a look at you, gives you a nasty look, and turns the other way. You decide it's deserved.
Soon, everyone takes their seats. You sit in one of the middle rows, trying to fit in as much as you could. Bucky stands at the altar, and you lose your breath. He looks beautiful in his suit and you notice his hair has grown out to his shoulders. You always loved it like that.
The wedding tune plays, but to you it sounds like something that should be played at a funeral. The bridesmaids and groomsmen make their way down the aisle, followed by Cara and her father.
The wedding sets into motion, the preacher's monotonous tone filling the room. Finally, you hear the words you'd been waiting for.
"If anyone has an objection to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Everyone looks around, waiting for an objection. There's a silence, there's my last chance. You stand up with shaky hands, and everyone's horrified gaze falls on you, but you're only looking at Bucky.
"I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion. But you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl," you speak out into the silent chapel.
Bucky looks bewildered, his bride-to-be fuming. "Don't say yes. Meet me when you're out of the church at the back door. You need to hear me out."
He looks around the room, knowing that this one decision could change everything. The preacher looks confused, wondering if he should go on. Everyone waits with bated breath to see what Bucky is about to do.
Bucky tells Cara a timid "I'm sorry" then steps off of the altar to run towards you.
"I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door," he says, grabbing your face and kissing you quickly.
You leave the church, waiting for him to meet you outside.
When he finally strides over to you, you give him a passionate kiss. "Baby, I didn't say my vows. So glad you were around," Bucky says, spinning you around.
The two of you never separated again.
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Perfectly Fine (Pt. 8)
Premise: “You know why I don’t like you? It’s because you’re a natural. You’re naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You’re naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It’s like you naturally get what you want, you don’t have to work hard for it. You don’t have to pretend because people naturally like you.”
Or Bucky found out that the new oh-so-perfect Junior Accountant of Stark Industries isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
"Oh my god, y/n! You're so gorgeous!"
"So, Ms. Perfect finally arrived looking more dazzling than ever."
"Y/n, you're about to get arrested 'cause you're killing all the boys in the hall."
You can't even count the number of compliments thrown your way as Wanda dragged you across the floor, past the lavishly-dressed people with champagne in their hands. At the same time, party music blasted through the giant speakers. You smiled and gave whoever complimented you your thanks. You were surrounded by people; all smiling, all are happy, all love you.
You listened to their stories, laughed if it's funny, replied when asked a question, and gave advice when needed.
"You know, I think I'm gonna give him a second chance." One of your colleagues shared. "He seems sincere when he promised he'll make it up to me." Her eyes twinkled in hope.
When she cracked a joke, you laughed.
It was always like that; you listen, you give advice, you encourage -it was never the other way around. You never shared your life's stories; you never cracked jokes. There was never a time when you ranted out your problems to them because what could you possibly say?
"Wanda, guess what? My goddamned mother, who left me when I was 6, married a rich guy! And you know what that filthy witch did? She didn't tell her husband that she has a daughter. Fantastic, right? Then, after all this time she's gone, my runway-model-like sister appeared on my front door and told me our mom wants to see me. You know why? Bingo! 'Cause, she's dying!"
Another colleague of yours arrived and complimented you. You smiled and said your thanks.
"Just like in dramas, right? I'm the cold-hearted child who won't forgive her mom. Well. Yeah, that's me. I'll never forgive her, not in this lifetime."
Another colleague cracked a joke. You laughed.
"Yeah, I hope she dies and suffers in hell."
You continued to smile and laugh with the people around you. They're all happy. Even your selfish, cruel, and hypocrite of a mother became happy with her new family. Why is it as if you're the only one who can't get what you want? Why?
You're surrounded by people, but why do you feel miserably alone?
"You don't look good."
A familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts. All heads turned towards James, who just arrived, and he stood there; frowning, worry evident in his eyes. He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him. "If you'll excuse us."
"What do you mean?" You asked back, still wearing your dazzling smile.
"Drop the act, doll."
In a flash, your smile vanished, and for the first time, you let him see how lonely and vulnerable you feel. You didn't care this time.
"How?" You whimpered. "How do you know? How can you see through me?"
And this was the real reason why you hated him; why you avoided him. He could see what others couldn't. He could see that your smiles are fake, that you're troubled, that you're angry, and that you're scared. James Barnes could see why you tried so damn hard to hide and that scared you.
You were scared that if he sees all of it, see you for who you really are; he would leave. But now that he knows, he's still here. Doing things you didn't expect. Doing things you didn't understand.
And when you don't understand something, you get scared.
James' warm hands came upon your face, cupping both your cheeks. The gesture comforted you, and you relished in his touch. Your peace, however, was brief, cut short by the ringing of your phone.
You took a deep breath before answering the call.
"Y/n, please. You don't have to talk to her or anything. Just see mom, please."
"I won't see her. She can die right now; she'll do me a favor if she does that." You spat, and before your half-sister could speak again, you ended the call.
"That was my half-sister. She wants me to go and see the woman who abandoned me."
"Do you wanna see her?"
You scoffed. "Yeah, right."
"What the fuck, James! Just what the fuck!"
You let your guard down for one second, and the next thing you knew, James was on the phone with your sister, then your halfway across the city, and now, here you stood, bickering with him in a hospital corridor.
James stared at you intently. It was the look you hated, the look that penetrated through all your lies and pretense. "Tell her anything you wanna say." You glared at him, but he didn't budge. "It doesn't matter what it is; tell her to go die, tell her to fuck herself," He paused caressed your cheek. "Tell her what you want; you owe yourself that."
James reached for your hand and squeezed it tight.
"Whatever it is you tell her, good or bad when you come out of that room, I'll be here for you." He promised, then pulled you into a hug before kissing your lips. "I'll be here."
With trembling hands, you reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. You were going to see the first person who ever left you, rejected you, and abandoned you. You felt a lump in your throat.
Forgive? How do you do that? How can you forgive the person who wronged your entire existence? She was the last person you believed would never betray you, but she did. She broke your trust; she abandoned you. How could you forgive that person? You don't know how.
Funny, you thought you would break down and cry at the sight of your mother; pale, sickly, thin.
The woman opened her eyes, focusing on you. She recognized you. "Do me a favor, y/n. Don't forgive me. Hate me, y/n."
You stepped closer to her. "Why? To calm your twisted conscience? To know that even in your wake, one person is cursing you until' your death; then you'd feel sad and that would make up for the years that you were happy?"
She didn't speak for a while, and when she finally did, she said. "Yes, that's what I want."
"You're really… something." You shook your head in disbelief. "You want me to keep hating you? Sorry, but no. I won't. I won't let you do that to me."
Feeling braver than you've ever felt in your whole life. You reached out and tenderly held your mother's hand.
"Because of you, I was in misery for many years. Because of you, a lot of insecurities ate me. I won't allow you to make me suffer again. I'll be free from all the misery and insecurities your abandonment brought me." You brought her hand to your lips and placed a chaste kiss upon it. "You're not worth my hatred. I won't let you make me feel bad in any way again."
"I forgive you, mom."
You know, with all your heart, that you mean it. You let your gaze linger on her face one last time, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. Finally, you let her go. You turned and walked away without looking back.
You're leaving the person who first left you, and you're embracing the first person to accept you -for who you truly are.
When you opened the door, you saw James standing there, waiting for you like he promised. You walked straight into his waiting arms.
author's note: This series is ending soon. I wanna thank all of you lovelies for reading my first ever Bucky fic. Don't worry bc I have like a loooooot of fics lined up. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in my upcoming fics. :))
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