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gracexthoughts · 24 days

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of violent delights chap 13

buckbeak's sentence

9 june 1996

Mattheo’s POV

The energy in the Great Hall is contagious as we all celebrate the end of finals, O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. Even Elladora is in a good mood. I’ve kept my promise to Mia to not confront her about what she said to her but that doesn’t mean I haven’t stayed angry about it. All year Ella has been growing more and more obsessive in her hatred of Mia and the more and more I fall for Mia, the more frustrated and tired of Ella I become. Elladora has always been like family to me. She grew up in the Malfoy Manor under the care of her aunt, Narcissa, since both her parents are in Azkaban and she, Draco and I grew up together. But even so, her anger and hatred of Mia has been wearing on our relationship this year.

My friends talk excitedly around me but I’m not really listening, instead watching a certain redhead, her smile drawing me in even from a distance. Now that the year is coming to an end, prefect rounds along with it, I’m finding myself anxious for what that means for my relationship with Mia. We’ve been towing this line between friends and something more but only because we’ve been forced to spend time together twice a week. Without that are we even friends? I hate that I’m worried about it. I have never been so worried about a girl, let alone wishing for more with one, always preferring one night stands and no strings attached. And of course it had to be Euphemia Potter.

I watch as Mia stands from the Gryffindor table to leave, sauntering out of the Great Hall alone and before I even know what I’m doing, I’m following her. I hear my friends protesting behind me but I ignore them, solely focused on Mia’s retreating figure.

“Mia! Wait up!” I call as I step into the hall, causing Mia to turn around, her face lighting up in a smile as she sees me. She’s wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt, exposing a slight glimpse of the skin of her waist, making me want to reach out and hold her close to me by her waist.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asks and as I come to stand in front of her I realize I have no plan, no reason to stop her except the one reason I won’t tell her.

“I- uh- was just thinking we should skip out on rounds again tonight, since it's the last one,” I offer, conjuring up a reason after a moment's hesitation.

“That anxious to be rid of me, are you?” She teases, a mischievous glint in her green eyes as she leans her back against the corridor wall.

“No, I meant… together. Go for a smoke or something,” I say, taking a step closer to the girl. Mia smiles cockily, and I realize she knew what I meant.

“I know, I just wanted to hear you say it,” she chuckles, looking up at me and pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Fuck, she’s gonna be the end of me.

“Sneaky, princess,” I chuckle lowly, stepping closer to her close enough so I can smell her perfume. “What would everyone else say if they knew the Golden Girl, Princess of Gryffindor-”

“Only you call me that.”

“-was skipping out on her responsibilities just to hang out with the likes of me? Without needing any convincing,” I chuckle, planting my hand against the wall above her head, her green eyes shining up at me through her lashes, drawing me in as I lean towards her.

“Maybe I don’t care what people think of me anymore,” she says, her voice lower than normal.

“Tryin’ to ditch your rep, princess?” I watch as Mia’s bright green eyes flick away from my eyes down to my lips as I smirk.

“Maybe,” she says, her eyes flicking back to mine as the space between us slowly minimizes. My eyes flick down to her lips, her beautiful full lips that taught me so often, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between us. “Matt,” Mia whispers my nickname like a plea and I nearly melt on the spot, wanting to hear her say my name over and over again in her posh, silken voice.

There’s barely any space between our faces when I hear a small yelp to my left. Mia and I turn to see three pairs of feet appear out of nowhere, tripping over each other. They land in a heap, legs, torsos and then heads appearing as Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger throw off a silvery cloak and attempt to untangle themselves from each other. I jump away from Mia, putting a much more respectable amount of space between us, “Bloody hell?”

“Harry!” Mia exclaims, her face bright red. The trio help each other stand, all looking awkward and guilty except Harry who looks angry, his eyes, which are eerily like his sister’s, are glaring at me. “What the hell are you three up to?” Mia asks her brother whose eyes are flickering between me and her.

“What are you up to?” Harry responds, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at his sister.

“Nothing. Your turn,” Mia says sharply.

“Nothing,” Harry responds with a cheeky grin. My eyes dart between the siblings, Ron and Hermione doing the same.

“‘Mione?” Mia asks, turning to the smaller girl for answers.

“Riddle?” Harry asks before Hermione can answer, his eyes narrowed as he turns back to face me. Bloody hell, why is everyone in Mia’s life crazy protective? I thought older siblings were supposed to be the protective ones.

“Oi!” Mia snaps, pulling her brother’s attention back to her. She steps towards him, pulling him from the group a few feet leaving the rest of us to stand in awkward silence. “Harry, what are you up to? You’re not supposed to leave the castle, it's nearly dark!”

“We’re going to see Hagrid. They’re executing Buckbeak after all,” Harry responds quietly, and Mia’s face softens.

“Alright, fine but I’m coming with you,” Mia says eventually, and I notice how my heart sinks slightly, wishing she'd stay so we could continue our conversation. “We better hurry,” she says to the third years, nodding down the hall. “I’ll try to be back for rounds,” she says to me, a regretful look in her eyes as she mouths ‘sorry’ to me. I sigh, watching the four Gryffindor’s turn the corner and lean back against the wall.

Maybe the fact that we keep getting interrupted is for the best. She’s too good for you, I repeat to myself like a mantra, hoping it will rid this girl from my mind. But I know better.

Euphemia’s POV

“What the hell was that?” Harry asks me in a low voice as we walk through the halls towards one of Hogwarts’ side entrances, Ron and Hermione ahead of us.

“Nothing,” I say stiffly because I’m not going to say what I’m thinking because what I’m thinking is ‘He was going to kiss me and I was going to let him and I can’t get the smell of his cologne out of my nose or his voice out of my head and when he is around I can’t breathe but when he’s not I can barely think of anything or anyone else and I can’t believe it's him out of all people and my little brother has the worst timing in the entire world.’

“Is there something going on between the two of you? I thought you hated him!” Harry hisses and I can’t tell if he’s actually mad at me or not.

“Ugh! No, I- I don’t know, okay?” I say, frustrated. I haven’t even really told the Twins anything and I haven’t told Angelina and Alicia everything either. Never, in all the scenarios I could have created about my life, did I think I would be having feelings for Mattheo bloody Riddle and I have no idea how to handle it.

“So there is something going on?” He presses, stopping in the hall as Ron and Hermione exit the castle.

“I don’t know, Haz. It’s weird and new and I don’t know what any of it is or means,” I say quickly and breathlessly.

“Do you like him?” Harry asks, no anger in his voice, just curiosity.

“I don’t know, maybe,” I answer honestly. Harry watches me for a moment before looking down at his shoes. “C’mon, let go. We can talk about it later, okay?” Harry nods and we move out of the castle, stepping onto the path that leads down to Hagrid’s cabin. Ron and Hermione are standing over to the side, conversing with Malfoy and two of his friends. As Harry and I approach, Hermione pulls her fist back and slams it into Malfoy’s nose, causing us all to gasp. Malfoy crumples to the ground as Harry and I approach, his friends reaching down to help him up and they push past us, running back into the castle.

“That felt good,” Hermione says coyly.

“Not good, brilliant,” Ron chuckles, looking at the girl in awe.

“Are you gonna take house points for that?” Hermione asks, looking at me.

“If anyone asks, I didn’t see anything,” I chuckle and shake my head. “C’mon let’s go.”

We continue down the path as the sun slowly sinks closer to the horizon. As we reach the cabin, Buckbeak looks up at us curiously from where he lays in the pumpkin patch. Harry knocks on the door and Hagrid lets us in quickly. “What’re you lot doing here? I told yer not to come!” I can’t help but notice how helpless the giant man looks. “Look at the poor creature.”

“Why don’t you just set him free?” Harry asks, looking out the window at the Hippogriff.

“Well they’d know it was me, wouldn’t they? Get Dumbledore in trouble. He’s coming down to be with me for it. Says he doesn’t want me to be alone,” Hagrid says, his voice distant.

“We’ll stay too, Hagrid,” Hermione offers, pouring some tea for Hagrid in one of his giant mugs.

“Absolutely not, I do not want you lot seeing something like this,” Hagrid responds forcefully. “Yer should be heading back up to the castle. Oh, but before yer do, Ron-” Hagrid moves across the small cabin, reaching into a tin and pulling out a rat.

“Scabbers! I don’t believe it!” Ron says, jumping up to take the animal from Hagrid. The rat looks more dreadful than ever, and is squirming and writhing in Ron's hands.

“I think that means you owe someone an apology!” Hermione says. They’d been fighting all year over their pets, Ron being convinced Hermione’s cat, Crookshanks, is dead set on eating Scabbers.

“Yeah, right. When we get back, I’ll apologize to Crookshanks,” Ron says, struggling to keep hold of the rat.

“I meant me!” Hermione exclaims, exasperated, but before Ron can respond something flies through the window, shattering a vase on the table.

“Blimey!” Hagrid says.

“What the-” I mutter, moving to look at the small rock when Harry turns to look out the window.

“They’re coming,” Harry says.

“It's too late for you lot to be here. If anyone sees you out of the castle you’ll be in big trouble. Particularly you two,” Hagrid says pointing to Harry and I. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I move towards the back of the cabin as a knock sounds from the front door. “Be with you in a moment!” Hagrid says towards the door and motions us to leave through the back.

“Hagrid, it’s gonna be okay,” Harry says earnestly and I pull him along by his sweatshirt sleeve. Hermione pokes her head out the back door and we file out as quietly as possible, moving to hide behind the pumpkins for a moment before running back up the path towards the castle.

We stand towards the top of the hill, turning to look down at Hagrid's cabin and the pumpkin patch. The sky has turned dark, the sun starting to sink below the horizon. I see the executioner, clad in all black, step out of the house and push the younger kids along, trying to get them out of sight and ear shot but then theres the swoosh of the ax and a heavy chop that echos over the grounds. Hermione sways slight, leaning into Harry but Ron is more focused on his rat who is squeaking and writhing wildly. Suddenly, Ron drops the rat in surprise.

“OUCH! He bit me!” Ron says, shocked and starts running after the rat as he scampers along the grounds, away from the castle.

“No! Ron!” I say, following after him, Harry and Hermione following me. We follow Ron around a hill to see Scabbers running through the grass. Ron jumps forward, managing to catch the rat but fear settles into my gut as Ron points behind us.

“Run! It's the Grim!” We whip around to see a huge black dog bounding for us, growling viciously. The dog runs past Harry, Hermione and I, knocking Harry and Hermione down completely, towards Ron, grabbing him by the ankle and pulling him away.

“Ron!” The three of us shout, chasing after Ron as he is dragged towards a large tree. I run quickly, trying desperately to reach the boy, but before I come close something hard knocks me to the side, sending me flying.

I land with a hard thud on the grass, gasping for air as I try to sit up. I hear Harry and Hermione shriek and soon Harry lands next to me. “You okay?” I ask, pulling my wand out of my pocket. I stand, reaching down to help Harry up as well, and watch as Ron disappears through an opening in the bottom of the Whomping Willow, his cries echoing out.

“We have to help him!” Harry cries, stumbling forward only to get knocked back again the Whomping Willow’s whipping branch. I cry out for Harry, rushing forward to grab him as Hermione darts forward towards us.

“We have to go get help,” she gasps, kneeling next to Harry who's still on the ground panting.

“No, we don’t have time, that thing could eat him,” Harry says hurriedly, sitting up slightly.

“There’s no way to get in!” I counter, standing as the others do as well.

“Well if the dog can do it, there has to be a way!” Harry snaps, trying again to get near the tree but stumbles back after almost being hit with another branch. There’s no way to get any closer to the tree without it viciously attacking us until a small orange blur darts forward under the branches, pawing at a small knot on the trunk and disappears into the tree which has fallen completely still.

“Crookshanks!”

“”Mione, how’d your cat know how to do that?” Harry asks.

“I don’t know,” she says bewildered.

“You guys go back up to the castle and find some help, I’ll go after Ron,” I say, trying to push them towards the school but Harry pushes off me.

“No, you’re not going alone!” Harry says, pulling out of my grip.

“Harry, stop. It’s dangerous, it’s dark and you’re far too vulnerable out here. What if Sirius-”

“Sirius Black is after you too, Mia. If it's safe enough for you-”

“I’m older, Harry. It’s different, I need you to go back to the castle and get-”

“Ron’s my friend, Mia! If it was Fred or George wouldn’t you go after them no matter what anyone else said?” Harry yells at me. I grit my teeth, knowing he is right but the instinct to protect him tells me it's wrong.

“Fine! But you listen to me and do everything I say. Do you hear me? You too, Hermione,” I say sternly, looking at the third years before nodding and running towards the tree with them in my wake.

One by one, we squeeze down through the hole in the trunk of the tree and land in a small dark tunnel. “Lumos,” I mutter, holding my wand lit up to see what direction the tunnel leads.

“Where do you suppose this goes?” Hermione asks quietly, her wand aloft as well.

“We never figured it out, the Twins and I. It goes off the edge of the map towards Hogsmeade but…” I respond. I have a hunch, but at this moment I hope I’m wrong about it. “C’mon, stay behind me,” I say to Harry and Hermione, taking the lead down the tunnel.

Eventually, the tunnel starts to rise, leading us up further as soft dim light starts peaking in. Finally, the tunnel ends and light seeps through a small opening. I push myself up out of the hole, setting foot in a dusty room; paper peeling off the walls, furniture broken and slashed, dust covering every service.

“We’re in the Shrieking Shack, aren’t we?” Hermione mutters to which I nod, my assumption unfortunately correct. Suddenly, we hear a cry from above and we set off through the decrepit house, following the paw prints and drag marks in the dust further into the house and up the stairs.

We reach a room with its door ajar and I look at Harry and Hermione, both of them holding their wands ready. I put out the light of my wand and nod to them. We push through the door and into a bedroom, a large four poster bed on one end with Crooskhanks purring happily in the center of it and Ron on a chair at the other end, moaning and bleeding with his leg at a horrible angle.

“Ron!” Harry and Hermione gasp, rushing forward towards their friend.

“Where’s the dog?” I ask.

“Not a dog, it’s a trap! He’s the dog! He’s an animagus!” Ron cries, pointing behind me and suddenly, the door closes behind us. I whip around, the door having revealed a dark man with long black matted hair, deep sunken eye sockets, filthy and torn striped clothes and yellowing teeth. I jump in front of Harry, my wand raised but I’m a fraction of a second too slow.

“Expelliarmus!” He says, raising Ron’s wand, and Harry, Hermione and I all lose our wands and Sirius Black catches them as they fly towards him. I extend my arms back, pushing myself in front of my brother and his friends, keeping myself between them and the man in front of us. “I thought you’d come to help your friend,” Sirius Black says hoarsely, his voice sounding like gravel. “Your father would have done the same for me. Very brave not to run for a teacher. I’m glad, truly. It will make this all so much easier.” My blood boils but my attention is diverted as I feel Harry try to push out of my grip, but I grab him, keeping him behind me, Hermione holding him back as well.

“If you want to kill Harry and Mia, you’ll have to kill us too!” Ron says fiercely, standing up shakily; the effort seems to drain all energy from his face.

“Lie down,” Black says softly to Ron. “You’re going to worsen your leg standing like that. Besides, there will only be one death tonight.”

“You didn’t care last time! Killed all those Muggles just to get at Pettigrew. What’s the difference this time?” Harry yells at the man, struggling against me and Hermione. Harry has grown a lot this term, now, taller than Hermione and I and it takes both of us to keep him from going at Black unarmed.

“Harry!” I say, trying to get him to calm down as anger and hatred for the man in front of us rages in my own chest. But Harry and his safety comes first.

“Be quiet-” Hermione starts.

“He KILLED OUR PARENTS!” Harry shouts, managing to pull out of mine and Hermione's grip and he lunges at Black.

“No!” I call after him but it’s too late. Harry grabs Black, pushing away the wands in his hands and tackling the man to the ground. I rush forward to help but sparks shoot out of the wands, missing Harry but they graze by my arm, sending pain through the limb. I cry out in pain as Harry continues wrestling with Black. Black reaches up, wrapping a hand around Harry’s throat and I stumble forward, kicking the man in the head and pulling Harry up. Our wands are scattered on the floor and I reach down, tossing Ron and Hermione theirs and holding Harry’s to him. Harry and I turn to the decrepit man, holding our wands at his face as he sits on the floor.

“You going to kill me, Harry? Mia?” Black asks, smiling slightly as if the idea is amusing.

“You killed our parents,” I say quietly.

“Why shouldn’t we?” Harry adds, glaring at the man with more hatred than I’ve ever seen before, hatred I feel in my own chest. Black stares at us solemnly, his sunken eyes dark and sad.

“I won’t deny it but if you knew the whole story-” Black says quietly.

“You betrayed our parents to Voldemort. Told them where we were hiding, what more story is there?” Harry snaps, his voice quivering with anger.

“You’ve got to listen to me, you two. You don’t understand,” Black says, urgency creeping into his voice.

“I think we understand well enough,” I snap, stepping closer to the man, my wand pointed at him, my brother at my side.

“It's your fault, it's all your fault… you did it,” Harry says, his voice shaking more with every word. Black looks up at him sadly, but before any of us can say more, Crookshanks darts forward and curls up on Black’s chest. Black tries to push the cat off him but Crooskhanks buries his claws into the man’s robes and refuses to budge.

I look at Harry as he wrestles with the idea of killing the man in front of us. I want Black to pay, I want him to suffer but not at the hands of my little brother. “Haz…” I whisper, stepping towards him but keeping Black in my peripheral vision.

“He killed them, Mia,” Harry says, quietly, not taking his eyes off the man crumpled on the floor.

“I know,” I say, my voice cracking slightly. “But this isn’t you, Harry. We’ll take him to the dementors, lock him back up where he can’t hurt anyone again. He’s not worth it,” I say, putting my hand on Harry’s arm so he lowers it. My brother looks at me, tears shining in his green eyes, as he lowers his wand arm slightly. Harry opens his mouth to respond but before he can footsteps echo below us.

“WE’RE UP HERE WITH SIRIUS BLACK, HELP!” Hermione shouts and the footsteps begin thundering up the stairs. Fear clouds over Black’s eyes and Harry raises his wand again. I turn to face Black, my wand raised as I step in front of my brother. The door to the room bursts open and Professor Lupin runs through.

“Expelliarmus!” he shouts, claiming all four of our wands for himself, looking between us and the man on the floor. Harry and I back up from Black as Lupin takes in the scene before him. Lupin steps towards the Black, who still sits on the floor with the cat curled up on his chest.

“Well, well, Sirius. Looking rather horrid, aren’t you? Finally the flesh reflects the madness within,” Lupin says, holding his wand towards the man.

“Well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you Remus?” Black responds, chuckling. Lupin looks down at the man and lowers his wand. My blood runs cold as Remus Lupin reaches down to help Sirius Black to his feet and embraces him, the two men clinging to each other like their lives depended on it.

“Where is he, Sirius?” Lupin asks and Sirius points towards Ron and Harry but I cut them off, my anger boiling over now.

“HOW DARE YOU?” I yell, pushing Harry back towards Hermione and Ron and standing before the two men. “You’ve been helping him this whole time! I should’ve known the moment I read that letter! For all your talk of how wonderful our parents were! You’ve been helping him all the time, leading Harry and I on so you could help kill us too!” I yell at my godfather and it's Harry holding me back now as I scream at the two men.

“Mia-” Lupin starts.

“NO, we trusted you! This whole year, I trusted you and yet you’ve wanted us dead this whole time,” I yell, struggling against my brother’s grip.

“Please, just let us explain and you’ll see-”

No!” Hermione shouts. “Don’t trust him, he’s a werewolf! That’s why he’s been missing classes. He’s been helping Black into the castle!” I watch Lupin’s face who remains calm even as his face pales but he nods. Harry and Ron look shocked but I’m not so much. I hadn’t guessed it but now that it’s out, all the pieces fall into place.

“Only one out of three. Not up to either of your usual standards, girls,” Lupin says. “I have not been helping Sirius, I do not want any of you dead… but the werewolf charge I have no defense against. How long have you known?”

“Since Professor Snape’s essay,” Hermione responds coldly.

“Oh you really are very clever. He’ll be very glad. He had hoped someone would put the pieces together,” Lupins says coldly.

“Enough talk, Rems,” Sirius says, gruffly, “Let’s kill ‘em!”

“Wait-” Lupin says.

“I DID MY WAITING! FOR TWELVE YEARS!” Sirius bellows, causing Harry, Ron, Hermione and I to recoil. Lupin watches Sirius closely for a long moment.

“We will but Harry and Euphemia have a right to know why,” Lupin says, calmly.

“We know why!” Harry yells from my side. “You betrayed our parents. You’re the reason they’re dead!’

“No, just let us explain.” Lupin steps towards us, holding out our wands. I reach out hesitantly, pulling them from his grasp and handing them back, raising my wand defensively towards Lupin. “Now you are armed, and we are not. Please, just let us explain.” Lupin says, setting his own down on the piano by the wall. Harry and I share a look, silently agreeing that we might as well get some questions answered before they try to kill us.

“If you haven’t been helping him, then how did you find us?” I ask first, keeping my wand raised.

“The Marauder’s Map. I was watching it-” Lupin says.

“You know how to work the map?” I ask. Harry had told me how he’d been discovered by Malfoy in Hogsmeade and was being interrogated by Snape and Lupin confiscated the map from him but I never suspected he’d be able to figure out how to use it.

“Of course I know how to work it. I helped write it,” Lupin says dismissively. “I’m Moony, your father and Sirius’ nickname for me at school.”

“What?” Harry and I say in unison.

“I was watching the map tonight because I had a feeling Harry, Ron and Hermione might sneak off to see Hagrid tonight. Even under your father’s old cloak you show up on the map.”

“You know-”

“Yes, yes. The amount of times I saw James disappear under that thing. Anyway, you still show up on the map and I watched you go down to Hagrid’s and leave but once you left, you weren’t alone.”

“No, we were,” Ron mutters.

“I couldn’t believe it. I thought the map was wrong because how could he be with you?”

“Who? No one was with us!” Harry snaps.

“And then I saw someone else, Sirius Black, running towards you. I watched as you all collided together and Sirius pulled two under the Whomping Willow,” Ron and Harry interrupt Lupin but I don’t listen to them, my brain working overtime to try and understand what this man is saying.

“No, Ron. Two of you,” Lupin says, looking at Scabbers. “Can I please look at the rat, Ron?”

“He’s not a rat,” Sirius mutters. “He’s an animagus by the name of Peter Petigrew.”

a/n; ahhhhh hello! Thank you for reading. Most of this chapter (and the next) is heavily pulled from the book and the movie and is kind of a mix of the two but I’ve tried to keep the spirit while still writing in my own voice. Hope you are enjoying, I’ve posted chapter 14 as well since they really go together so please go read that and let me know what you think!!

taglist; @purplegardenwhispers @somethingswiftandstyles @weasleyreidstyles @mayamonroem @girlbooklover555 @stxrszurzolo

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cloudninetonine · 3 years

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A past that still haunts me

A/N: Hey guys, it's me (ya boi) I'm back with my still current hyper fixation Genshin Impact and a vent fic because I've been really stressed and well, it's hard living in my house :) It's a hurt/comfort fic because they always get to me and I needed to make something for myself

I am willing to do aftermath where the boys confront the abuser or do scenario but with different characters

Synopsis: You’re not a damsel in distress, you never have been and you never will be, but, well, sometimes you need a hero to rely on and that’s okay

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli and Childe

Warnings: Hints to past abuse, confrontation of abuser, violence, mentions of blood, threats, foul language

It had meant to be like any other menial day of an adventurer: sign in with Katheryne, complete your commissions, sign out with Katheryne with your payments - done and dusted.

But that wasn’t how it went, no, far from it - archons, so damn far from it.

“Thank you once again, (Name)” Katheryne’s smile was kind like usual, holding that familiar feeling of gratitude as she handed over your remission within a marked package, hand returning to the desk’s polished surface once you had taken it graciously, sending her a beaming grin back. “The Guild really appreciates your work ethic when it comes to the Ruin machines, it’s hard to come across adventurers who want to handle them anymore”

You sent her a shrug as you placed away the box “Can’t blame them really, they’re a hard bunch to handle- I was terrified of them when I first started too, but I had my vision to help me out, a lot of these folk only use there pure determination to eradicate them, gotta admire that!”

She laughed along with you politely “Have a good evening, (Name), I’ll see you again tomorrow?”

“Of course you will!” You backpedalled away from the guild reception, throwing the woman a polite double fingered salute as you did “Ad astra abyssoque as they say, my fair lady!”

She parrotted back her usual phrase before disappearing into the building, you walking further down the path of the city for your final activity for that day.

Of course, you didn’t reach that far, after all, it wasn’t that menial day you had expected, that you had wanted. Life was cruel sometimes, so incredibly cruel for no justified reason just for the sake of it all and you wished, archons, you wished you could rewind the clock and stop yourself from bumping into the body, to save yourself from all the repressed trauma bursting forth like a flurry of butterflies, well, more like moths, disgusting, ungodly, monster moths that aimed straight for the face.

“Sorry!” You yelped, too preoccupied with gathering your pocketwatch you had dropped in the stumble to see who it had been, after all, you were on a schedule and you didn’t want to be-

“(Name)?”

...late.

All of a sudden, time didn’t seem to exist, or maybe it was moving way too slowly from that horrid spike of adrenaline that shot into your bloodstream as soon as the voice registered.

You hoped to the Archons that it wasn’t, that it couldn’t, but did the gods hear your prayers?

“Oh Archons, it is you! It’s been such a long time!”

Of course, they did, they just didn’t care to listen. Ignoring the cries of your people were in fashion to them these days.

They stood there with a smile so excited it almost seemed to tear their face in half, with eyes sparkling with recognition after so many years away from them, they opened their arms welcoming you into their embrace like it was something just so normal for the two of you like you would come bounding to them like a lost puppy who had finally found their master.

The fear of your abuser dwarfed in comparison the pure feral rage and loathing to think that they even deserved to be breathing in the same space as you.

People were looking, of course, they were looking, you knew what they were doing, being bright and jovial, bringing others attention towards you both so that whatever scene you caused would be your fault like you were the bad guy. It was old tactics, of course, you wouldn’t dare do anything when you were younger, you’d just push through it, but this wasn’t old times, this wasn’t younger you, scared, smaller you afraid them, this was you now, a warrior, unwavering in battle, a person who smiled in the face of danger, who laughed at the pitiful fights that 2- no- 4 abyss mages brought to you!

To hell what other people thought, you’d stomp their head into the cobblestone if they had so much as poked you.

“Come here and give me a-”

You took a step back, mustering the deadliest face you could, but you wavered, it was only natural, no matter how much you could try to hype yourself up, this person was your first true experience of real-life nightmares, the first person to bring you true pain, no matter how many ruin guards, hunters, millachurls, mages- anything you faced, nothing could prepare you to face your first fear:

The fear of your older sibling.

“If you fucking touch me I’ll stab you-” The growl cracked nearing the end, you were always an angry crier but you were not about to fall back to this- this monster. “In front of all these people, I won’t hesitate”

Their face dropped followed by your stomach, though, the food you had for lunch sure did feel its way up your gullet.

“What’s with your language? We haven’t seen each other in four years and this is how you treat me? Your older sibling?” They laughed in disbelief because onlookers would think they were shocked, I mean, how could you speak to family like that? But they didn’t know, they didn’t know the words they had told you, the insults, the threats, those tight grabs, those beatings- they didn’t know, so they obviously didn’t know that the shock came from the fact that you had stood up to them.

You licked your lips to get rid of the dryness, but the problem you faced was that your mouth had dried out along with them, as did your throat.

Don’t let them turn this on you, don’t let them get the upper hand, you were better than them, so much better.

“You’re not my fucking sibling” You spat, feeling the air vibrate around you, a sudden shine from your cloak hinted you to the cause “You haven’t been for a long time, don’t fucking try that shit with me”

There it was, that familiar enraged spark, that look of hatred on their face, the thing that warned you about what you said had been the right thing to set them off, that they were just as easily triggered by the smallest act of rebellion just like when you were kids.

Of course, they hadn’t changed.

Evil never did.

They took a step forward but you didn’t back off, just hardened your resolve as they leaned in menacingly, as though their stupid little intimidation tactic still worked after all these years.

You told yourself it didn’t but you knew deep down that wasn’t completely true.

“Don’t speak to me like that, (Name)” Facade gone, they showed you what they really were, what they were really like after all, “Don’t you ever speak to me like that, you show me fucking respect”

Respect?

RESPECT!?

Oh Archons, you were angry, no, seething from the thought that they ever deserved respect.

That pathetic piece of shit, that gruelling pleb, mere gum on the bottom of your damn shoe-

You’d kill them, right here, right now.

You felt the familiar materialisation begin to form in your hand when another voice called out, a familiar loving one that nearly made your throat swell from relief.

“(Name)?”

Diluc

He could sense the tension. Of course, he could sense the tension, Diluc had faced this tension so many times before, he was practically the one that owned such a vibe anytime Kaeya even breathed near him for a second longer than necessary.

But being the one to witness it, to see you, the usual awkward, goofy sweetheart stare at another with such overbearing malice made him uneasy, caused his stomach to churn in ways he didn’t like, set him off in a way that was only reserved for the most chilling on moments.

Diluc wondered what exactly this stranger had done to warrant such a reaction from you.

“(Name)?” The redhead called, glancing around the many citizens of Mondstadt that watched the exchange with intrigue, guard and worry, eyes focused on the scene of this foreign stranger and fuming you, hand poised by your side with weapon particles dancing on your palm.

When Diluc finally made it over, his form seemed to curl protectively around you, hand landing on the small of your back delicately while keeping face with the person, eyes narrowed dangerously but still holding an air of civilness.

A true gentleman, even when you were close to merking some rando.

“Is there a problem?”

The stranger straightened immediately, backing up a few steps with their hands up in defence, sending Diluc a charming smile that the man could see through crystal clear.

“No problem, no problem at all” They glanced back at you, seemingly friendly despite his partner’s obvious ill intent that radiated off you in waves “Isn’t that right, (Name)?”

Diluc saw you tense up once again, the buzz from your Vision rising in volume with your obvious anger as you tightened your first, ready to just screw your weapon and go for the throat.

“If that is the case” The noble’s hand softly pressed against your back, gently but coaxing, knowing that conflict in the middle of the town centre would just bring the knights to meddle in affairs that they had no business attending “Then we shall be going”

“There’s no need to leave, after all, my sibling and I were just chatting”

He paused, shouldering a questioning glance your way but at the sight of your unruly expression, he pushed down his enquiries and once again began coaxing you away from the scene. Angel’s Share had already been open for a while, meaning the usual folk would already be settled in, but the storage room was sure to be a good place to chat and to calm you down, all he needed to do was get you away.

“We already had plans” The side glance had the stranger- your sibling, biting their tongue, brows furrowing in a known annoyance as the two of you began your way towards the pub, you still vibrating in anger. “Good day to you”

The two of you had made it a few feet when they called out once again “Don’t worry, (Name), I’ll see you again real soon”

Diluc’s arm tightened around you faster than you could react, tugging you away quickly “Diluc-”

“No, (Name)”

“Stay out-”

“Not here” Sharing a look, he softened at the shine in your eyes. “You’ll just attract the knights' attention”

You didn’t care, no, not one bit. If the knights had dared to interfere at that moment, they too would have been caught up in your blinded revenge, thrown aside or slashed down without single care just to finally eradicate the bane of your existence and you didn’t care about what consequences you brought about, you just didn’t and you made sure to tell Diluc that, as soon as you had the privacy of Angel’s Share’s storeroom, pacing up and down while he stood off to the side against the wall, watching silently.

“You had no right to get in my way!” You snapped, voice shaking from the pure emotions you were releasing “I finally had my chance, I was finally going to do it! They deserve to end by my hand, by my decision, after the years of torture they put me through! They deserved it! And you got in my way! How could you get in my way! I-”

Pushing off the wall, he slowly advanced towards you, carefully, hands out like he was approaching a wounded animal.

“I understand you’re upset-”

“I’m not upset!” You cried at him, stopping mid-step before dropping your head and tightly, grabbing your hair in your hands “I’m not upset! I’m angry! I’m so fucking angry! And I deserve to be fucking angry! I-”

The sob ripped through your throat despite you trying to hold it back, tears finally gathering in your eyes and rapidly falling down your cheeks “You should have let me kill them! I should have had the chance to rid the world of their evil! It’s not fair! It’s not- it’s not fair, I-”

You didn’t bother to fight him when his arms finally wrapped around you, just fell against him as you wept. The pent up rage, fear and sadness from years of repression taking its toll as you cried, your partner whispering sweet words as he raked his hand through your hair gently and leaned his head against yours.

“I’m sorry” His hand held your cheek fondly, ruby red staring back into your own eyes with a softness that made you melt “I didn’t know this meant so much to you, but if you’re willing to tell me, I’ll listen. I’ll always listen”

With another choked sob, you leaned into his hold “Please just hold me for now”

And he did just that.

Kaeya

The captain had promised to meet you at his office, a simple task really but with the lingering presence of Jean and the words ‘There’s so much work that needs to be done’ leaving her lips he bolted, hoping to catch you by the Guild and drag you to Angel Share for your date. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help her, it was just he had already promised you this night and Eula could have always taken his place with paperwork, her threat of “vengeance” as she liked to call it could wait for another day.

It was also due to the fact he had no intentions of filing any paperwork for as long as he could avoid it, but that was his secret to be kept.

Being the perspective man he was, he could tell straight away he had walked into something tense, surveying the surrounding people of Mondstadt who looked on in concern, the unbridled rage upon your face, the obviously intimidating lean that the stranger held over you- something was wrong and he knew he had to put a stop to it.

“(Name)?” You glanced for a single moment before your furious glare had returned to the stranger, another flag waving right in his face as he approached, “My dear? Who might this be?”

Before you could snap, lip curling in disgust, the stranger stood back to their full height, switching quickly with a fake charming smile that practically mirrored his own, holding out their hand towards him “(S/N) (Last), (Name)’s older sibling. it’s nice to meet you”

Kaeya’s smile widened and despite the glare from you that was now focused on him, he shook your sibling's hand in-kind “Kaeya Alberich, (Name)’s partner-”

He made sure to tighten his grip with his last words “And Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius”

Successfully, as he always was, Kaeya held back the smug, mocking grin that itched to climb onto his face when the neck of your sibling bobbed nervously, forehead reflecting the afternoon light as sweat gathered on their brow.

The man hadn’t obviously threatened them, surely, Kaeya was smarter than that, but then again, he could still present himself as a threat, a good one and well, his title was a menacing one when it came to the right moment. ‘Try anything and not only do I have the authority to kick your arse but the power to put you in a place many didn’t dare even step’ shortened into an innocent sentence with only 8 words.

“Cavalry Captain? That’s quite impressive” They laughed off, tugging away their hand awkwardly when Kaeya continued to keep a firm grip, his present eye focused solely on your siblings face. They glanced over to you “Quite an achievement for you, aye (Name)?”

You growled, “I’ll show you an achievement-”

Kaeya’s arm had wrapped around your waist not a second later, tugging you tighter to his side as the two of you turned, the man throwing your sibling a smile over his shoulder.

“As nice as it was to meet you, (S/B), we must be going”

And then without another word Kaeya dragged you away, heading in the direction of your home instead of Angel Share tavern, feeling your pure, unfiltered anger the whole way along with the citizens as they parted ways, rushing off from your rage.

It was only when you had returned to the sanctuary of your abode did you snap, jerking away from your boyfriend with angered strides and beginning your seething lecture towards him, moving up and down through the living room while he ventured off into the kitchen, grabbing 2 glasses and a bottle of wine.

“How dare you Kaeya! How fucking dare you! Do you have any idea what you were doing back there!? What was even happening back there!? So much for being the most observant man in Mondstadt because you seemed pretty dense to me the whole fucking time!” Your hands raked through your hair as you yelled, trying so hard to hold back the tears “I didn’t need your damn help, Kaeya! Nor did I fucking want it! Know to stay out of someone's business when it isn’t wanted!”

Logically you knew what he had done, you were smart like that and you knew Kaeya long enough to know what he was doing but your rage, fear and sadness blocked out everything in that moment, made you blind to reality, made you only think irrationally and Kaeya didn’t blame you for that. He could never blame you for that.

Though, it did hurt him to see you in this state.

“Wine?”

You gawked at him for a moment, staring at him with shock and confusion as he held out a wine glass towards you, another held in his other hand and a sweet smile plastered on his face, before your moment morphed into rage, grabbing the drink from his hand and tossing it towards the wall, the red wine splattering over the wallpaper and glass shards falling to the floor.

“Well, that was a waste-”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Kaeya!?” You cried, not even bothering to hold back anymore as the tears fell and your voice cracked, hand pointing accusingly in his face “Is this some kind of joke to you!? Huh!? Am I a fool in your eyes!? Some sort of blubbering idiot!? Why must you- why do you-”

The second glass was placed on the dresser by you both, Kaeya’s hand coming to hold your cheek fondly while the other came to grab your hand that dangled in the air, still poised at him “I don’t think you're either of those, my dear, in fact, I think you’re one of the brightest in the whole of Teyvat, nevermind Mondstadt”

You hiccuped “Then why-”

Brushing away the wetness from your cheek, he brought your hand to his mouth to place a fond kiss on your palm “Because you mustn’t cry, (Name), don’t waste your tears on someone like them”

“I’m not crying, I’m-”

He shushed you gently and you finally relaxed, falling into his embrace with a heavy heart “-I’m not, I swear-”

Within the familiarity of your home, you wept in his arms, exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions and the scenes that had transpired that day, ready to just curl into yourself and try to block the flooding memories of history. Although, having Kaeya at that moment helped more than he could ever know, having him to rely on made it all so much easier to cope with that day.

“Tell me what ails you and I’ll listen” Brushing back some hair, he pressed a kiss to your head.

“Can..can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Of course, my dear”

Zhongli

He had sensed the incoming danger like it had been revealed in some sort of premonition. Maybe it had been a skill he had acquired after his long, eventful life, maybe it was his connection to Liyue and his citizens, but for some reason, as he sat before Iron Tongue Tian as the man recalled his tales of ancient Liyue like usual, Zhongli knew that the crowd that was forming around Wamin Restaurant had something that he need urgently attend, especially when even Tian paused his story to glance around the corner of the restaurant building to see the commotion.

When the archon had finally borne witness to the scene, he paused within the crowd, surveying the surroundings carefully. You were the centre of attention, along with another stranger, both glaring at one another with anger and disgust, though your own anger seemed to double compared to the other’s, seeing as your weapon was slowly materialising in your grip. Zhongli could also see Guild Master Lan making her way down the steps leading to the Guild reception, a worried expression on her face glancing between you and the approaching Millelith.

Zhongli made his decision, politely pushing through the crowd until he had finally made it by your side, hand being placed gently on your arm “(Name)?”

Both you and the stranger glanced at him, but he paid no mind to them, only held eye contact with you when Lan appeared by your other side, glaring at the stranger with a hardened gaze.

“Are you harassing my guild member?”

Before the stranger could respond, the Millelith had also popped in, glancing between you and them “Is there a problem?”

Zhongli had taken up your view when Lan began her take, she had borne witness for much longer than he had of course and he was certain that you were in no state to talk to the guards. Your eyes were glazed with hatred, pupils pinpricks in a sea of (E/C) and your hands were shaking, balled into fists.

If anything, he needed to try and calm you down first.

“Get the hell out of my way, Zhongli” Your teeth ground together, words shaking with anger “Don’t push yourself into my business”

“I’m sorry, my love, but I can’t do that” He tried brushing your cheek but you jerked away, glaring at his hand before glaring back at him, in no mood to be coddled “I don’t want you to do something you’d regret”

“Trust me, I won’t regret this one bit”

Zhongli held his tongue for the question that almost rolled out, knowing now wasn’t the time for inquiries when the stranger’s voice rang out, condescending and snarky as they addressed you.

“Still need people to protect you, aye (Name)? Of course, you’re still the same pathetic bitch from years ago”

You were lucky for your reputation around Liyue, for the picture of the kind and caring adventurer that had swept through the town from your years of living here because had it not been for that, you pushing aside your boyfriend and materialising your weapon to aim it at your sibling’s throat would have had you in cuffs that instant.

Lan grabbed you, tugging you away as you screamed “I’ll show you pathetic you fucker! Let me go!”

The Millelith didn’t wait to drag your sibling away, much to their cries of dismay, one sending Lan a nod while you continued to fight against her, crying out in frustration.

“Kid, you have to calm down-”

“Calm down!? No! Get the hell off me!”

Zhongli watched as you finally broke away, huffing and puffing up a storm before glancing amongst the crowd, staring at their worried and concerned faces, your own eyes tearing up before you looked away pushing past the crowd to find somewhere to be alone.

When Lan went to call out for you, Zhongli raised his hand, the two sharing a look before the archon made his way after you, his longer legs keeping a steady pace to which he could catch up to you, just beyond the bridge that led into Liyue Harbour. There were no people where you stood, just the lush green plants and great mountains of nature, a perfect place for you to let out your frustration without the prying eyes of the citizens.

“(Name)-”

“Leave me alone!” You cried, curling into yourself with your back turned to him “I don’t want you here, Zhongli! Nor did I want you back there! I didn’t need your or anyone else's help!”

You knew he was here from a place of concern, and deep down you begged that your words didn’t harm him in any way, but currently, you didn’t care, you didn’t want to care, you just wanted to be numb, numb to the flashbacks of your horrid past and numb to the feelings that were dragged along with them.

“My love, please, return with me to our home, I will brew some calming tea-”

“Tea? Tea!? Does it look like I want any fucking tea?! I couldn’t care any less about some fucking tea, Zhongli!” Spinning around on your heels, you scowled at him, not bothering to hide your rushing tears “Don’t you get it!? I want to be left alone, I-”

Two gloved hands gently encased your face, your angered expression morphing into one of shock as your partner stared down at you with glowing eyes filled with a deep-rooted love, affection, worry and so much more that you couldn’t put into mere mortal words. At that moment, everything felt as if it had melted away, only you and him were in this world, nothing else, just the two of you.

And you felt as though your heart had been lifted from the pressures of this life.

“I do not think it is best for you to be left alone” His baritone voice was always so calming, so serene and in your sane moment, you finally felt its effects “I wish to stay with you, so please, let me stay”

With a whimper, you grabbed onto his forearms and leaned your face into his hands, tears continuing to fall as your eyes fluttered shut “Okay…”

“They have hurt you deeply, haven’t they?”

Hesitantly, you nodded.

“Would you be so kind as to tell me the details?”

“I-...” Sharing eye contact once again, you whispered “Can- can you just...hold me for now? Please”

Moving his hands from your face, he engulfed you in his arms, leaning his head against yours “Of course”

Childe

The Harbinger had just left the Northland Bank, hell, he was just about to make his way down the spiral staircase but when hearing the commotion, he paused, something in his gut telling him to check just before and he was glad he did.

Glancing over the elevated walkway, he felt a fiery pit roar in the depths of his stomach, eyes narrowing dangerously at the scene; you were snarling in some other person’s face, their own face nothing short of disgust and a crowd that only seemed to grow by the minute.

Who the hell did this person think they were? Did they even know who you were? To stand so close to you, with a look of threat on their face like you weren’t about to kick their arse? Like he wasn’t about to kick their arse? How did this insignificant speck of dross not know your connections with him, the 11th Harbinger? Or did he know and was just trying his luck?

“Seems like someone has a death wish” And a death wish they had indeed.

Ignoring the perplexed glance from his subordinate stationed outside the building's entrance, Childe made his way down the steps, murderous look stitched on the whole way to the circle of civilians, the mass parting ways for the man that was Tartaglia and continuing to watch the moment in silence.

“Who the hell are you-” You both turned towards him, you in shock while the stranger stared in confusion until Childe’s hand wrapped around their collar, tugging them closer to look down at them with a deep-rooted disgust “-And why the hell are you harassing my partner?”

They fought against him, obviously, they did, but the surprise came when you saddled up next to him, grabbing his arm “Stay out of this, Tartaglia”

What? It hadn't been your request, no, you were always one to finish your whole fights you weren't "A damsel in distress after all!" no, you were so much more, so much greater but that look on your face, murderous and downright cruel- he just couldn't believe his ears.

Childe stared at you in shock while the stranger struggled, throwing him a dirty look in their attempts “Yeah, this is between my sibling and I”

Childe straightened in surprise, feeling embarrassment flood his system. Had he seriously just grabbed and threatened his lover’s family member? Oh, Archons, his judgement had been clouded by anger at the look of the scene, I mean, why would your sibling look at you that way-

“But it’s really no surprise that you still need to be babied, (Name), how shameful”

His eyes widened but not a moment later had you tackled your sibling, the crowd crying out in alarm as you threw back your fist and crushed their nose under the weight of your punch. “I’ll show you fucking shameful, bastard!”

There was shouting and a glance showed the oncoming Millelith marching towards the circle.

Being Fatui always did garner the attention of the guards nowadays, especially for him, who had tried to lure out the attention of their Archon by summoning an ancient god that nearly drowned the entirety of the harbour, so it was no surprise that they seemed to hurry in the pursuit when they noticed his appearance at the scene. However, lucky for him, your reputation as a great adventurer preceded you and throughout Liyue you were seen as a trusted and well-liked individual, meaning whatever trouble you got in, containing his meddling or not, was usually waved away due to the trust of the people.

So, without another thought, Childe tugged you off of your bloodied sibling and held you close, even as you thrashed violently, shouting at him to let you go.

“What is going on here?” A guard called, slamming the hilt of his polearm into the ground as he surveyed the area, eyes landing on the sibling before following the small trail of blood to you, still fighting against your boyfriend with threats falling from your lips “Was there a reason for this brawl? Who started it?”

As your sibling raised themselves on their forearms, they scowled and opened their mouth to respond, only for Childe to put in. “It was them, sir, they were the one that started it, (Name) was merely acting in self-defence”

The Millelith scowled at him, raising a brow and once again looking you over “Is that so?”

He addressed the crowd soon after “Is this what happened?”

And as expected, they all glanced over the sibling, then to you and piped up in agreement. It paid to be a hero, it seemed, the whole harbour returning the favour of years of helping out the community.

“If that’s the case, please come with us” The sibling cried out, anger and fear laced into their voice, trying to argue for their innocence only for the guards to grab them, hauling them away to archons know where while Childe did the same with you, slowly dragging you away from the scene and back into the bank, you screaming and cursing the whole way until you had made it to his office, finally managing to push him off and storming to the opposite side of the room practically seething.

“Who the hell do you think you are, Tartaglia!?” You cried, throwing out your arms in exaggeration “I didn’t need your fucking help! And why the fuck would you pull me off them!? I had them right where I wanted them and you fucking did that! Are you a moron!?”

“You had a sibling” He breathed, watching as you began to pace, muttering in an angered state “And you didn’t tell me”

“-after all these years I finally had the chance to end their pathetic excuse of a life and you just got in my fucking way! I’d waited too long for this moment and you fucking ruined it! How dare you, how fucking dare you-”

“(Name), why didn’t you tell me you had a sibling!?” He cried, walking up to you and grabbing your wrist to stop you “I was ready to kill them right there! And why are you talking about them like this!? They’re your family aren’t they-”

“They are not my fucking family!”

The scream echoed through the room, chilling Childe to the core as you ripped your arm from his grasp, running your hands through your hair before gripping it so tightly it felt close to being ripped from your head. But you didn’t care, no, you couldn’t, you were so angry and you needed something to keep you grounded, to keep yourself from losing yourself and getting lost in those haunting past memories.

The Harbinger felt his chest squeeze painfully as the tears fell down your face, red rimming your eyes and cheeks wet as you sobbed, chest heaving from trying to breathe “Family takes care of you! Family thinks of you in the highest light possible! They love you for who you are and they love you no matter what! That bastard hurt me, made me feel worthless and they refuse to believe they could do no wrong and I hate them! They are the bane of my existence! They are not my fucking family! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I-”

Arms were around you instantly, Childe’s face pressed into your hair as you wept, grasping onto the lapels of his suit and shoving your face into his chest to muffle your cries.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, his own eyes shining slightly “I’m sorry, I was being insensitive. Please, don’t cry”

“No, I’m not crying, I promised myself I wouldn’t-” You hiccuped “I wouldn’t waste any more tears on them-”

Then you broke off into more wails, your boyfriend holding you close and letting you continue to cry in his arms, warm and comforting until you were finally reduced to whimpers, leaning into him heavily as the remaining adrenaline in your body began to wear thin when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Will...will you tell me about it?”

You sniffed “Later...just hold me for now, please, Ajax...”

His arms tightened protectively “Anything for you, my love”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact diluc x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact kaeya #genshin impact kaeya x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact childe #genshin impact childe x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact tartaglia #genshin impact tartaglia x reader #tartaglia x reader

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kohanayaki · 3 years

Text

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 7

Severus looks back on everything that went wrong.

tw: non-consensual kissing/harassment, trauma responses

LINKS: CH 1 CH 2 CH 3 CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8

________________________________________________________

Ch 7 .:Things Unforgivable and Things Left Unsaid:.

Graduation day at Hogwarts was supposed to mark the beginning of a new adventure for you. Instead, it marked the day you decided that whatever it was between you and Severus Snape, friendship or otherwise, it was over.

Or at least that's what you had thought. Of course, the universe just loved making things more complicated for you. You were working with Charlie in Romania when you had gotten word that Severus defected from the death eaters and was now working as a double agent at Dumbledore's behest. He continued teaching Potions at Hogwarts, and was even indited as a member of the Order. If anything, that only solidified your decision to go to America instead of staying in London. You didn't even know what to think. Of course you trusted Dumbledore, confusing as the man was, but you didn't know if you could really trust Snape again. You had worked towards forgiving him; over time you moved past what happened, but it was difficult to really say it was 'resolved' when you quite literally haven't spoken a word to each other in over a decade. You didn't even know where to start.

For the entirety of your seventh year, you didn't speak a word to Severus. It was hard to imagine that such a tight knit trio like the one you, him, and Lily had formed could crumble in an instant, but that's exactly what happened.

The end of your sixth year at Hogwarts was a quarter Snape would never forget, no matter how hard he tried. It was when everything fell apart. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1976 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James!” you yelled, running to the top of the hill where he and the rest of the Marauders had Snape held upside down.

“What are you doing?” you said, immensely hurt and trying to keep your voice steady, “You said this would stop, you promised. . . you swore.”

“(Y/n), I. . .” James trailed off, immediately feeling guilty. As he turned to you Snape dropped to the ground, attempting to scramble to his feet but finding his ankle twisted.

Sirius moved towards you to say something but you put your hand up firmly.

“No,” you said, “not a word out of you, Black.”

Sirius stared at you, wide-eyed, shrinking back as you called him by his last name for the first time in a long while. Not Sirius, not Pads. Black. As if your whole friendship had just been reset.

“And you two,” you said, addressing Remus and Peter, “how could you let this happen?!”

All four boys looked at you in shame, none of them daring to verbally respond.

Suddenly, Lily came running up the hill, having fallen behind you in your quick pace.

“Severus!” she panted, rushing over to him, “are you alright?”

Snape was in an angered daze, not even registering the words being said around him. The blood rushing through his veins felt like lava, his heart pounding in his ears, his chest, his tongue. His face burned with humiliation and hatred. Pure fucking hatred for James Fleamont Potter. For Lily to see him like that. . . for you to see him like that, pathetic, helpless, in need of your help once again. He wouldn't have it. He was a master of the dark arts now, he didn't have to fucking take this. He would curse Potter into the next century, he would—

“Severus!”

Snape's eyes snapped open, not even realizing they were closed. The world came rushing in around him and he was suddenly acutely aware of Lily's hand on his arm. He reeled back at her touch as if he'd been burned.

“Don't touch me!” he screeched, startling the redheaded girl. Her eyes were filled with concern, but all Snape could see was pity.

“Sev—“

“I don't need any help from you, you filthy Mudblood!”

And everyone in the clearing stilled.

The color drained from Snape's already pale face as he realized what he'd just said.

“Lily. . .” Severus whispered; pleading, desperate.

“Don't come any closer,” Lily said, her voice stone cold as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I'll kill you,” James said lowly.

“Prongs, no—”

“I'll kill you, you slimy bastard!” James growled, Remus moving quickly to hold him back.

You stood in the middle of it all, staring at Severus. Severus, who'd always told Lily that blood status didn't matter. Severus, who you and Lily always stood up for no matter what. Severus, who you thought you had feelings for up until this exact moment.

Without even thinking you stepped forward, grabbing Lily's hand.

“Let's go, Lils,” you said, your expression unreadable as you looked down at Severus. Lily squeezed your hand back gratefully, fighting the sobs racking her chest as she turned around and took off with you.

“(Y/n), wait—” Snape tried to get up but found himself shoved back down to the ground by Sirius.

“No,” he said sharply, “you don't get to say anything to either of them, you hear me?”

“I—”

“What?” James spat, “you're sorry? Well sorry doesn't cut it! You say a word to her after what you called her and you'll wish you'd never have been born.”

Snape's head hung low, that wish already present in his mind.

“Leave him,” Remus said, this time not out of mercy, but malice; letting Snape wallow in his own misery as he left with his friends, looking for you and Lily.

Soon, Severus was left alone. Just as he began, and just as he should have never hoped for anything different. Was this it? That's how it was going to end? One mistake, and the only two people he'd ever cared about were ripped away from him.

No. He decided he had to apologize properly, consequences be damned. If those Marauders wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp afterwards, that was fine by him. He just needed to talk to Lily one more time. To tell her how deeply sorry he really was.

He took off down the hill, sprinting towards the castle and completely ignoring the burning pain in his ankle. He rushed through the grass, ignoring the looks he received from the other students walking by. He ran past the oak tree, through the castle gates, flying through the corridors and cutting across the courtyard when he skid to a stop at what he saw.

Lily and James stood in the center of the garden, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as his lips captured hers. Her eyes were still wet with tears, the tears that he had caused. Severus didn't do a thing. His presence remained unknown to them as he slunk away back to his common room, heart silently breaking.

He was too late.

Nothing was the same after that.

Lily insisted that if you wanted to remain friends with Snape, as she now referred to him, she wouldn't hold it against you, but she made it very clear that she would never forgive him herself. But it wasn't as easy as wanting to stay friends with him or not; he'd changed that day.

After some time to let things settle down you tried to approach him, but he only became more and more hostile towards everyone, including you. You hardly saw him anymore. The only time you occasionally spotted him was when he was walking around school with Malfoy, Mulciber, Wilkes, and Avery, unable to look you in the eye lest you see the utterly crushed expression on your face as he fell deeper and deeper into the dark side.

You held your books tightly to your chest as you made your way to Hagrid's hut for one of your last Care of Magical Creatures class. You were being paired up with a few lower classmen to teach them the ropes for feeding all the creatures Hagrid kept in the meadows. You were a tad late, having been preoccupied at lunch, speedwalking to try and arrive on time when you saw a flash of silver-blue light emit from inside the forest. You could hear warbled shouting and laughter coming from the same direction, and your instincts told you to run.

However, because your nerves were on high alert, that also told you someone in there was in danger, and you couldn't just walk away from that. You drew your wand, abandoning your books by a rockface and moving towards the commotion, the distorted shouting soon becoming words.

“Oh come on, you little runts, you lot can do better than that!” you recognized Mulciber's voice.

A young girl shrieked as a giant acromantula barred its fangs at her, its front legs raised and poised to attack. Her friends were huddled in a corner, more students who couldn't have been older than second or third years, being forced to watch by Avery and Wilkes.

“How's this for Care of Magical Creatures, eh?” Mulciber taunted as he walked over to the other students, pulling a young boy out from the group.

“No!” the girl cornered by the spider cried, “please, don't!”

“Aw, how cute,” Mulciber drawled, “is this your little boyfriend, huh? Shame.”

The boy screamed in fear as he was suddenly lifted into the air by his ankles, forced to hover right above the spider just out of its reach. You wanted to wretch as you watched the scene unfold, unable to keep yourself hidden any longer.

You leaped into the clearing, a quick flick of your wrist relieving Mulciber of his wand. You did the same to Wilkes as he turned to you.

“Well well, why am I not surprised?” Avery scoffed. Right behind him stood Severus, his expression vacant.

“Grab this, and get to Professor McGonagall immediately,” you shouted to the younger Gryffindor students, tossing them a gold galleon. As soon as they touched the coin, the portkey shot them all back to the castle.

“Why are you always the one spoiling our fun?” Mulciber sneered.

“Someone's gotta do it,” you said, putting up a brave front although you were under no illusion as to your situation. You weren't fourth years anymore, and you were alone this time. They'd been studying the dark arts for the past two years. You knew you were outmatched, even with your dueling skills.

“Oh, come on, (Y/n), don't be a bore.”

You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice to see Rosier, an easy grin set into his face. Your heart dropped.

“So you too, huh?” you chuckled bitterly, “and here I thought you were one of the few good ones left.”

“You're not really that naive, are you?” he tutted, “you had to have known I would be inducted eventually. Might even get Barty to join us, even if he is a little nutty.”

You went for a stunning spell but found your wand spinning out of your hand before you even saw him move.

“Not so fun to be on the receiving end, is it?” Rosier said, “you're not the only one versed in non-verbal magic, (Y/n). In fact, I'd even go so far as to say we've surpassed you. Lucius will be furious, but I like you a lot, so I'll re-extend his old offer for him. Join us.”

You had no wand, no backup, no way out of this, but you stood your ground nonetheless.

“Eat shit,” you seethed. Rosier glowered at you, taking a few menacing steps forward. He grabbed your jaw firmly and you grit your teeth.

“I don’t think you heard me—”

He reeled back as you spit right in his face,

“You bitch,” he growled, wiping his face in disgust, “clearly no one ever bothered to train you.”

Without your wand you were really only left with one option, ready to defend yourself by revealing your animagus form, but you never got to take the first step forward.

“Imperio!”

You stopped in your tracks as a veil of what could only be described as pink fluff drifted over your mind. A smile immediately appeared on your face, and a giggle rose in your throat.

Severus looked at Rosier with horror, the rest of his crew looking among themselves uneasily.

“What do you think you're doing?” Snape hissed, “are you trying to get us all expelled?”

“So what?” Rosier said, “we've used the killing curse loads of times.”

“On insects, you loon,” Snape shot back, hoping his concern for you was masked enough.

“Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt your precious (Y/n), Sev.”

The nickname made his stomach churn. You used to call him that. Lily used to call him that. No one else did. No one else got to.

“Release them,” he said, raising his wand, “now.”

“Put that away,” Rosier's eyes narrowed, a smirk sliding back onto his face as he got an idea, “hey, (Y/n)?”

“Yes?” you answered, your voice dripping with honey.

“I don't think Severus likes you being under this spell,” Rosier said, “but you like it don't you?”

“Mmm hmm,” you nodded, your head feeling like it was floating, “it feels so nice.”

“You know what else would feel nice?” Rosier goaded, “if you gave our friend Sev here a kiss.”

Severus' heart dropped to his stomach.

“You're sick, Rosier,” Snape said, his voice close to tremmoring.

“You don't have to act like you don't want it,” Evan chuckled, “we've watched you putz around (L/n) like a fool for years. Besides, they want to. Isn't that right, (Y/n)?”

“He's right,” you said, your voice deceptively melodic, “I love you, Severus. I've always loved you.”

And in that moment, Snape had never hated himself more. Because he didn't care that Rosier was making you say the things you did. He didn't care that you were under the influence of a curse. All he could hear was the words he longed to hear spill from your lips, over and over like a skipping record.

I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus.

He played the words on repeat in his head. His heart was beating almost painfully in his chest, so much so that he hardly even noticed you slowly walking towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck like Lily had done to James. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, his selfish desires held him in place.

It had lasted a fraction of a second, but he didn't pull away. It was the greatest regret of his life that he didn't walk up to Rosier, break his nose, and curse every single person in that clearing instead of doing nothing, knowing full well you had no control over your actions.

When his eyes drifted open and met yours and his stomach twisted into ugly knots, fear and panic wracking through his spine. Your eyes were completely empty, irises a vacant white, and in that moment it felt as if he were kissing a corpse.

Suddenly the color returned to your eyes, and fear immediately filled them. Snape grunted as he was shot away from you, unable to move when he hit the ground. The other Slytherins looked around for the assailant, but they had no time to react when every single one of their wands was pulled from their hands. McGonagall stood there, expression the same as ever but clearly brimming with fury.

“(L/n), come,” she said, ushering you over and taking you protectively in her embrace, “we'll get you to Madame Pomfrey.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she regarded Snape and the rest of their group, “As for you,” she said, “Mr Filch, secure them in the dungeons until the Headmaster calls for them. And put all of their wands in the lockbox.”

“With pleasure,” Filch said, almost blending in with the trees behind her.

“Are you alright?” McGonagall asked you as she helped you back towards the castle.

“No,” you said, honestly, “n-no, I don't think I am.”

“No amount of apology could ever equate to the remorse I feel that this happened to you, (L/n),” she said earnestly, “I am truly sorry. This was completely unacceptable, and I will see to it that the proper measures are taken for their punishments. Expulsion would suit just fine, but even if the Headmaster disagrees, I will personally ensure you never come into contact with any of those boys again.”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice sounding hollow in your own ears.

You didn't remember walking the near half-mile to the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey's words felt so far away, as if she were speaking underwater. You just remembered laying down in the hospital wing bed as she checked you for any lasting damage, and as soon as she'd turned her back you'd just wept.

________________________________________________________

That night, Snape found himself in the Prefect's bathroom, leaned over the sink and watching the water rush into the drain. His hands clutched the marble sides of the basin so hard his knuckles turned white, every breath catching painfully in his chest before he forced it out to take another shaky inhale. He was an idiot, he knew. There was no fixing this. Not really. First Lily, now you. Was he just predestined to lose everyone in his life?

He paused. No, he didn't deserve to think like that. Everything that had gone wrong was his own doing.

When he heard the door to the bathroom open he whipped around, ready to curse whoever dared to interrupt him until he saw you standing there, your eyes red from crying and the Marauder's Map clutched in your hands like a vice. He was half certain you were a hallucination, but as soon as he pulled himself to the present, he rushed to apologize. You had to know how horrible he felt about what he did, even if you would never forgive him. He made the mistake of being too cowardly to properly apologize to Lily, he wouldn't make that mistake again.

“(Y/n), I'm—”

“I know you're sorry,” you said callously, “and I know you mean it. That's not the issue.” you took a breath to collect yourself before you continued. This was so much harder than you thought it would be. Maybe this wound really was too fresh right now. You thought you'd be able to handle this conversation, but your prior feelings weren't making this any easier.

“Why did you do it?” you asked quietly, “Better, why did you do nothing? You were my friend, Severus.”

Whatever was holding back the flood of emotions in him, it snapped at your words.

Were. Past tense.

“I don't know what I was thinking,” Snape said in exasperation, though it came off more as anger directed at himself. His hands threaded through his messy black locks, his eyes nearly manic. You'd never seen him unravel quite like this. He was desperate to fix this, to keep you in his life. “No, I wasn't thinking at all, (Y/n). I couldn't, not when you were . . . not when I. . .”

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it—

“Not when I've fancied you for years.”

Snape knew immediately that he had made a mistake. The expression on your face made his stomach twist, and he knew there was no taking back what he said.

“No,” you said, tears welling in your eyes, “Severus Snape, don't you dare say that. What, do you think that just makes this all okay? You're an oblivious idiot, you know that?”

Your heart ached so bad it felt as if you couldn't breathe.

“Do you know how many times I wished you would have kissed me?” you said shakily, not bothering to hide the hurt in your voice.

Snape was sure his breathing had stopped, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't have heard that right. Did you really feel the same way about him? But reality hit him in the face when he saw your expression. This was no heartfelt confession on your part.

“For you to just. . . for it to happen like that,” you said, still struck with betrayal and disbelief, “If you've ever respected me, you never would have let that happen. I was under a curse, Severus. And you took advantage of that— of me. All because you were too much of a coward to just tell me how you felt. And then you go on and say you've liked me this whole time as a last ditch effort to save our friendship? How the hell did you expect me to react?”

He had nothing to say to that. He blamed himself entirely. Every verbal blow you struck he gladly took, he would have sat there still as stone if you hexed him, but you refused to draw your wand at him. You just stood there, staring straight through him with unbelievable hurt in your eyes.

“I can't do this, Severus,” you said, “please, just. . . just leave me alone. I'm not saying I'll never forgive you, but right now I can't even begin to think about that. Not now.”

You looked like you wanted to say something more, but your mouth snapped shut, and Severus saw the finality in your eyes. He stayed glued to the spot where he stood long after he watched you leave, his eyes trained on the door you'd slammed shut.

If you thought Snape had made himself scarce after what he said to Lily, after what he did to you he practically vanished. He no longer sat underneath the tree that had become so symbolic of your former trio. He no longer roamed the Slytherin common room, or even the Great Hall for meals. Instead he would walk through the forbidden forest alone, or hole up in some empty corridor purposely hiding but hoping you would walk up to him. You never did.

The people who did find him in the few days that followed were the newly named Marauders, though incomplete as they arrived without you. As he glanced down at the parchment in Lupin's hand he had no questions about how they'd located him. Snape grimaced, not bothering to get up from his seat beneath the stone pillar. Anything they did to him was what he deserved.

James stepped forward from the group first. His expression was unreadable, but Snape saw the way his jaw was set firmly in place, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. The Slytherin had expected Potter to come at him guns blazing, sending a flurry of verbal attacks and hexes his way. However, James Potter simply stared down at his former enemy with a look that met in the intersection of barely contained anger and utter disappointment.

“You didn't deserve them,” he said coldly, his voice oddly level.

“I know,” Snape glared, but not feeling very self-righteous.

“No, you don't,” James said, his voice rising steadily, “you will never know what you put them through. You sat there while your lunatic friends used an Unforgivable Curse on them, and you took advantage of them. I don't care if you know, I'm going to throw it back in your face, because it's what you deserve.”

“I think it's clear that (Y/n) doesn't wish to speak with you any longer,” Remus said, “if for some inconceivable reason they want to in the future, they'll approach you. Don't you even think about going about it the other way around before they're ready and willing to talk. If they ever are.”

“It's settled, Severus,” James said simply, “you're officially not worth our time anymore.”

Snape blinked up at him, trying to recall a time when Potter had ever called him by his actual name.

“Don't get us wrong,” Sirius glared, “the only reason we aren't throwing you to the Womping Willow is because we know the last thing (Y/n) would want is her friends getting expelled because of them.”

“We'll leave you alone now,” Peter said grimly, “just like you've always wanted.”

And they were telling the truth. They left him completely alone, not speaking a word to him after that; 'they' now including you and Lily, which destroyed him more than any amount of bullying had before. He watched from afar as you grew closer and closer to the Marauders. . . no, you were a Marauder. It was only natural that you became almost like a family in your seventh year. You, James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Lily had become as inseparable as Snape thought you, him, and Lily were, but he'd ruined that. He had ruined every good thing that had ever happened to him and pushed away every important person in his life.

The last time he saw you was graduation day. Everyone was running around excitedly, dressed in the ceremonial jewel-toned robes of their respective houses as they awaited Dumbledore's speech. You had been sitting with your group as usual, now having carved out your own spot at the Gryffindor table, when you noticed that Snape was nowhere to be found.

You frowned, wondering why he of all people had to slip into your mind on a day like today.

“You alright, Fangs?”

Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I'm fine. . .”

His handsome features contorted in concern, but that easy grin slid back onto his face as he nudged you with his shoulder.

“What, you worried you're gonna miss us?” he smirked, “this isn't goodbye, you know. We'll all see each other at the Order meetings—”

“Which you always seem to talk about at an extraordinary volume,” Remus shushed him pointedly. Sirius brushed him off with a roll of his eyes.

“(Y/n), are you sure nothing's wrong?” James asked from across the table.

“I'm alright, Prongs,” you said, “I just. . . you know what? I just remembered I left something in my dorm, I'll be right back.”

Your friends exchanged worried glances as you got up from the table, taking off towards the Slytherin common room. It wasn't a total lie, but your intentions went against your better judgment. After today there was a very, very good chance you would never see Severus again. What he did wasn't okay by any means, and it would take more than an apology or a simple conversation to forgive him, but you needed closure at the very least. Not for him, but for you. You deserved that much.

You swiped the map off your bedside table and opened it fully, your eyes quickly picking out Severus' name near the cellars only a few rooms away from where you were. You took off quickly down the hall, reaching the intersection where all the dungeon's corridors converged when you spotted him. Your heart stopped.

His left sleeve was rolled up to his elbow, as was the person's standing across from him, their back to you. Even though you couldn't see the second person's face, you recognized who it was immediately.

Evan Rosier.

He wasn't on the map before. . . how had he gotten in?! He'd been expelled after the day he cursed you. Did he somehow find a way to bypass the anti-apparition charm?

You felt your breathing hitch, fear creeping under your skin. There, on both of their arms, was a tattoo of a skull, a serpent weaving its way through the mouth and eye sockets in an undeniable pattern. You stopped breathing all together. You knew Severus had fallen into the dark arts, but to actually be a death eater? To be proudly showing off that awful display of radicalism along with the person who had used an Unforgivable Curse on you, who had invaded your free will and taken over your body. . .

Severus must have felt you even from the opposite side of the hallway, because something pricking at his skin told him to look up, and when he did he wished he never had. You were looking at him for the first time in over a year, your eyes full of terror. Rosier followed his gaze, but when he looked over his shoulder there was no one there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus sighed, trying to push the less than pleasant memories out of his head. He knew by now he was likely the last person left in the house besides you, Harry, and Sirius who were all staying here. Something like hope had sparked in his chest when he saw the faintest ghost of a smile on your lips as you saw him for the first time since graduation. He wanted to talk to you, to tell you he knew he deserved nothing from you, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it right if you would only give him a chance after all this time. In truth, he missed his friend. With Lily gone, you were one of the closest things he had to that left.

Against his better judgment, Severus made his way up the stairs, silent as a thestral as he headed for your room, but he stopped in his tracks when he reached the top. Sirius' door was cracked open the slightest bit, and what Snape saw inside made his blood run cold. You were sitting next to Sirius on his bed, your head resting gently on his shoulder. As you craned your neck to look Sirius in the eyes, that's when Severus saw it— the way the Marauder looked at you. The way his face seemed to light up, the spark that returned to his gray eyes, the utter adoration in them.

And just like that, Snape was a seventeen year old boy again, transported right back to that courtyard garden, watching Lily and James share their first kiss on the day he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His heart shattered silently, though his departure was not so quiet as he took off down the stairs as quickly as he could. He grimaced at his own feelings, ones he knew he had no business owning.

As he was about to open the front door to leave, his instincts suddenly screamed at him to turn around, and he was just barely able to cast an invisibility charm as you began to come down the stairs. He held his breath as he looked at you. He knew he had no right to think so, but you were still beautiful like this; dressed in pajamas, hair disheveled, eyes still sightly puffy and red. He saw you look around, knowing you had no doubt heard his rather noisy descent of the staircase, and he cursed himself for not leaving sooner. Your eyes searched what should have appeared to be the empty space in front of you, but he saw you look him in the eyes, and he knew that you knew.

“Severus?” you called his name out softly, and the sound felt like a strike to his face.

He wanted nothing more than to say something to you, talk to you, hold you. But his mind flashed back to the way you had been with Sirius, and his words died in his throat. He said nothing, trying to remain unphased at your hurt expression as you turned around to walk back up the stairs. As soon as your back was turned to him, he left, unable to bring himself to do anything more.

Once again, he was too late.

Read chapter 8 here!

Taglist: @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @juggysgirlfriend @beautifulsweetschaos @kattirin @mialupin1 @crazy-obsessed-fangirl, @youcantbesirius

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primalsouls · 3 years

Text

white rabbit pt 5

langa hasegawa x gn! reader ( pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4)

anon: ⬇️

⚠️ : none.... I think? please let me know if there's anything to trigger!

theme: general

note: and scene. *bows* lol anyway, the fin to the white rabbit 🤧 thank you all for all the love you gave towards to white rabbit! i really appreciate it very much and it means a lot to me, really! 💖🥰 but like many great series, this one came to an end. it leaves an empty hole in my heart. 💔 but fr, really thank you. :) for all the love and support. i cant get it out enough. it just makes me happy how many people loved this work. ❤

like always, thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy it and like it, let me know what you think. and sorry for any mistakes, no proofread lmao. love you! 💚🫂

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

A family would always be part of one's life. But does it had to be consistent of related blood? Or could it be just a person and their pet? Perhaps it could be a group of friends? Perhaps.

When family comes to mind, [Y/N] would be reminded of their father's neglect on them. Of a mother who abandoned them. Of their older brother wishing to do nothing with them but just get them out of the family. Of aunts who showed their "love" for them in a horrid way.

But now, when family comes to mind, they were reminded of a man and his adorable pet with pointy ears. Of a redhead who talks non-stop of skateboarding and his way of woodworking. Of a young boy who had a talent for talking to cats. Of a florist man who was a clown at night. Of an amazing chef and his good looks. Of a elegant man who had a love for his AI. And finally, of a young blue-haired boy who was silent yet talktive at the same time.

Who would had thought they would find another family that quick. It took time to open up, yes, but at a steady pace like they were learning skating once again was all they needed to build up trust and care for these people.

And even though they were banned from S, [Y/N] was not ban from skating and Langa made sure to bring that point to them. He thought they hated skating because of him but all they needed was a little time off before getting back on the board. Reki built them a customized skateboard that fitted their aesthetics. A street board decorated in black on top and white on bottom with red wheels. A cute white rabbit's head and its red eyes painted on the bottom largely like Langa's abominable snowman. Langa had asked Reki to make it and Reki didn't refuse. It was a surprise gift for [Y/N], Langa told him.

Ever since their friendship with Langa started on that day after weeks of leaving S, Langa stood by their side. He kept his promise. He never hurt them. If anything, his love for them grew. They went to the same school now. They ate lunch with the boys in the roof top. They skated together at the boys' usual hangout. And being kicked out of their old home, Reki's mother was happy to let them stayed until they earn enough money from working for Dope Sketch to live on their own place. It felt nice. The new changes. The environment was different from their old life with the Shindo Family. It was welcoming and lovely. No sense if hatred send towards their way. They liked it.

"Good morning, Reki and [N/N]!" Langa said, smiling a little when he saw Reki and [Y/N] skated down the sidewalk to the pole where Langa stood. Reki grinned and greeted his best friend, high-fiving each other.

"Morning, Langa!" Reki said brightly, getting off his skateboard. When [Y/N] catched up, Langa walked up to them.

"Mornin'..." [Y/N] greeted softly. They still weren't used to the presence of Langa and Reki and their personalities despite being friends with them for a few months now. They never had friends before. Kids they met during their childhood bullied them. Their brother never wanted to do anything with them, so a brotherly bond was never formed. Well, maybe they did had one friend and it was Tadashi. Like Ainosuke, he taught [Y/N] how to skate. But unlike their brother, they never made the effort to go up to Tadashi to spend time with him. They were younger, too. Too little to play with the older boys.

"Hey, earth to [N/N]~? Anyone home?" Reki waved a hand in front of their face, wincing when it was smacked away. "Ow! Langa's right, you do slap hard." The redhead complained, rubbing his hand as back away from the other. [Y/N] pouted as they glared playfully at Reki.

"Sorry... I was just... thinking, that's all." The [h/c]nette muttered as they looked down at the board steadied by their foot on top of it. Langa tilted his head.

"What were you thinking about?" His silk voice calmed them down whenever they heard it. It was soothing to their ears. It was one of the things they liked about Langa, along with many other quirks of his. Such as his baby blue eyes. They loved staring into them. They liked to run their hands through his soft, blue hair whenever they hangout on the couch, leaning against each other.

It was funny. How they instantly click. Already finding comfort in each other. A few months ago, [Y/N] hated Langa. Refusing to hangout with him. Skate with him. Talk to him. But little by little, Langa took his time with them and broke down their walls, leaving each space for them to feel comfortable with his presence. It was the one thing that made them fall for him. Whenever he smile, their heart beat against their chest like butterflies were inside. They had this tingling feeling in their stomach whenever Langa look at them. They liked this feeling. It was an unfamiliar one but they could get use to it.

"[Y/N]..." There it was again. Their name rolled out of his tongue. It meant for him to say their name.

"Ah, yeah... Um.... I was just thinking," [Y/N] cleared their throat, eyes looking down at the ground as they tried to hide their flushed face. "if we're gonna skate? Try for any new tricks?" They shrugged, glancing back up at the two friends quickly. Reki nodded with a grin.

"Of course, we're gonna! Langa still gotta nail that one trick of yours." Reki teased, nudging the other boy on the torso as he looked up at him. Langa pouted, earning a laugh from Reki.

"It's a hard trick," Langa started but closed his hands into a fists with a determined expression on his face and locked his eyes with [Y/N]. "But I'll try my best to achieve it, [N/N]."

A soft laugh caught the two boys off guard. They stared at [Y/N] with slightly wide eyes. They hardly hear them laugh, so it was a first time since they became friends that the duo heard [Y/N] laugh. And Langa loved it. Such as much as he loved every little thing about them. It brought a gentle smile to his face.

Their eyes locked once more. Both staring at each other with admiration.

"I can't wait then. Let's see you try to nail the White Rabbit's ticking curve trick." [Y/N] said. Reki chuckled, already getting a head start to the direction to the usual skating hangout. Langa turned to them, a hand held out. And without another word, [Y/N] took his hand in theirs.

No words were needed to exchange for the looks they gave each other were enough. Actions says more than words. And skating down the road, hand in hand, was enough for Langa to know they wanted to stay with him such as much as he wanted to stay with them.

The phrase to skate together with you didn't just apply to his friendship with Reki, but also applied to his new found relationship with [Y/N].

In the end, he caught the white rabbit and left the thorns filled hole of theirs, not bother one bit about the minor cuts he occurred. All he cared about was the white rabbit, who rested safely in his arms and shower by the love they had wished for.

A love they both could see growing as days went by.

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9tzuyu · 3 years

Text

run into me sunday pt. ii

pt. i

notes: i am yet again projecting my own issues in fics lmao. this isn’t my favorite work, but i wanted to make a second part. this is the result. all mistakes are mine as im too lazy to proofread :P.

warnings: heavy talk of having an eating disorder.

requests are open!

the first few of weeks at natasha's house were fine. you tried really hard not to think about all the changes happening. like being monitored 24/7, or having to abide by natasha's rules all the time, or knowing that you were growing to be healthy.

it was okay, at first.

you hardly put up a fight when it came down to her rules. even meal time seemed to go without a hitch.

but as many people have said before, all good things cone to an end.

the second you woke up today, you could already tell it wasn't going to be fun. everything you'd pushed aside came crawling back, and you could feel every insecurity of yours heighten a thousand times worse than before.

nat's arms rest gently around your waist, and while it normally felt reassuring, you couldn't help but notice the extra weight you'd put on.

you still felt overly full from last night. if natasha woke up right now, you were positive she could feel how expanded your stomach was.

(god, you did not want her to feel how bloated you still were.)

now you knew there was nothing wrong with having a stomach, especially one that wasn't flat or as unwell as yours had become. but it was your body, and your body felt wrong.

feeling natasha's breath on the back of your neck, you gingerly began removing her arm from your body. however, your plan quickly failed when natasha pulled you in closer, her grip tightening around you.

you bit your lip to suppress your cries. you needed out and you needed out right now.

things quickly became unbearable. the longer you felt trapped, the more your body began to tremble. and though you despised it, you turned around to face natasha, your head buried in the crook of her neck.

the thoughts were loud. much louder than they had been the past few weeks.

you tried to keep your cries to a low level, but that didn't seem to work. natasha awoke within the very same minute. her first instinct was to check on you, but seeing as tears were streaming down your face she knew what the problem was.

nat pulled you closer to her, letting her right hand rub the backside of your body in an attempt to calm you down.

"hey now, it's okay, it's alright. you're okay, you're safe, you're here. i'm here." you continued to sob, letting every detail of your own self hatred slip from your mouth.

natasha wasn't surprised at the outburst. she knew you would have days like this, more days would soon follow. that was reality. she didn't expect your recovery to be perfect, if it was then she would know you weren't really getting better – simply putting on weight to please her.

she couldn't take away your pain (although she wished she could), but she could be there, offer you her love and support, coax you through meals when you needed her to.

when you'd finally calmed down you turned away from her, suddenly embarrassed at how you acted. she could feel you tense back up again, a failed attempt at blocking her out.

it was nat, who were you to think she couldn't read you like an open book?

nonetheless, she kissed the back of your head and moved out from under the covers. "i'm going to make breakfast, i'll be back."

you sighed. breakfast was not an option.

but 15 minutes later natasha returned with a plate of eggs, toast and a cup of fruit on the side. she even made it all pretty and nice for you.

“up, y/n. i know you don't want to, but you have to eat.”

"no," you mumbled, bringing the blanket over your head. she tugged them away instantly, "yes."

"it's too early."

"you didn't say that yesterday-"

"well i'm saying it today, natasha. now fuck off."

natasha knew better than to take your words to heart. if anything, she found it rather entertaining to see just how far you'd go to try and push her buttons.

an idea came to mind, a negotiation, really.

"tell you what, no breakfast, but you have to eat lunch and three snacks between dinner."

you thought about it for a second before peeking from underneath the covers, "deal." natasha patted your side, "i'm only doing this because you've been doing so well these past few weeks. don't count on this deal happening again." she spoke thoroughly, the plate of food now on its way into the kitchen trash-bin.

while you laid in bed natasha texted wanda. the redhead thought it would be beneficial for the younger woman to pay a visit. she knew how close the two of you were and decided to invite her over. it wasn't much, but the idea of wanda coming over and (possibly) helping you in any shape or form was very reassuring to natasha.

wanda texted back almost instantly, informing her that she was just short of an hour out, having to stop for gas on the way. natasha thumbs up'd her message and began planning out the day.

before either of you knew it, it was 12 noon. lunch had approached sooner than expected. wanda and natasha easily got caught up in a conversation. the only thing keeping time was nat's alarm that set off.

"time to go wake y/n up," natasha giggled, although she knew you'd be a challenge today. wanda followed her, too excited to wait on surprising you with lunch.

"y/n! c'mon, a special someone is here to see you."

a groan could be heard from the bed as you up to see who was there. you smiled at the sight of wanda and she immediately brought you in for a squeeze-the-life-out-of-you hug.

you didn't miss her smile faltering when she let you go.

you were still just as boney and thin as you were when you left the compound. three weeks was nothing, but you swore you could feel every ounce of weight gain coming back.

wanda helped you out of bed, allowing you to lean on her as she guided you into the kitchen. it was a good thing too, because you were more light headed than usual.

"what are you doing here?" wanda smiled and pushed the already prepared plate of food towards you. it'd been a few minutes and you hadn't even touched your fork. "what? couldn't surprise you?" natasha giggled from your left. you already seemed to be in a much better mood with wanda around than you had been this morning. but both women caught onto the fact that you were only shoving the food on your plate, not making any effort at all to actually eat it.

nat tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, "you have to eat, you know the deal we made." her push was soft, but it didn't make things any easier.

you sighed, tightening the grip around your fork. things like this shouldn't be so hard. it was food. food is fuel, food is good, but somewhere in your mind those messages were twisted and crumpled into something that could never be more false.

you leaned into natasha, keeping your face shielded away from the plate. tears sprung into your eyes and you begged for her to not make you eat.

"tasha, just one day, please. i promise i'll eat tomorrow-"

"i wish that were true, i really do, sweetheart." nat rubbed your shoulder before pushing you back, forcing you to look her in the eyes. "i'm going to go grocery shopping and run a few extra errands. wanda will be here to watch you finish your meal and to have a snack or two before i get back. i love you, okay?"

(you knew she did. but holy fuck, why did she have to do this to you.)

"yeah, you too." and with that, natasha grabbed her keys, kissed you on the forehead and left.

you don't know why, but you didn't actually think wanda would listen to natasha. that belief was quickly thrown out when you moved to get up from the table, wanda quick to grab your wrist and stop you from going to far.

"stay. please? just a few bites, i won't tell natasha if you don't..." she pleaded. a feeling of safety grew in your chest. your level of trust with her had always been high, but this time it felt more intimate. wanda was seeing you at your worst, a vulnerable position you'd never let anyone else but tasha see, and yet, wanda decided to stay.

it took over an hour for you to manage half a meal. wanda sat through it all, however, and coaxed you through each bite.

now, two hours later with a snack in hand, you sat quietly on the porch, head resting on wanda's lap with her fingers tied in your hair.

"do you talk to nat?"

"sometimes. actually yeah, most of the time i talk to her. it helps, and she's a great listener." you complimented.

"wanda?"

"hm?"

"why are you doing this?"

wanda looked down at you, seeing your eyes bore into her and bit her lip, "it's hard to see the girl that i loved and the girl that came back. i should've noticed before you went on your mission, but i didn't because i was too wrapped up with my own issues."

"you can't blame yourself, wanda. i didnt want to be seen. you couldn't have done anything different."

she hummed, ears perking up at the sound of natashas car pulling in the driveway.

you jumped up from her lap and ran to help tasha with her groceries, earning a loving glare from the redhead.

oh yeah. no strenuous activity. too many calories that you needed would be burned off. at least that's what you were told anyway.

wanda stayed the rest of the day, even through dinner. (only because you begged natasha to let her stay that long.)

natasha didn't seem to mind that she stayed. the redhead heard more laughs and giggles from you than she'd heard in the past six months.

the worst part about the day ending was the fact that wanda had to leave eventually.

(eventually being now.)

you pouted. you weren't ready for her to go just yet. she'd taken your mind off of so much today and you weren't sure you could face it again. really, you didn't want to face it again.

"i believe in you." she murmured.

stupid mind reading.

wanda rolled her eyes, "i'm serious, y/n. you've got this. you're amazing."

“you're only saying that because you have to.”

her eyebrows pulled together. "no. i'm saying it because i know it's true. you've got a gift, y/n. what you have– you're going to get it back."

you inhaled.

"next time i see you, i want you to be a little bit more healthy, okay?" wanda gave you a tight hug and left without another word. she just hoped the next time she saw you it wasn't in a casket.

you hoped the next time you saw her, you'd be better.

today wasn't easy, but it gave you a taste of everything you'd been missing.

and you wanted it back.

#wanda maximoff x reader #scarlet witch x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wandanat x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader

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cappsikle · 4 years

Text

you belong // fred and george weasley

Pairing: fred x platonic!reader x george

Summary: you feel hopeless and that you don’t belong, but the twins are there to lend a helping hand

Warnings: depressi hours - talks about not belonging, giving up etc. not proofread, ending is kinda trash.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: this is basically me venting about how i’ve been feeling recently.

tags: @ryeryemilani @a-little-too-much just ask if you’d like to be added!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!!

-------

Why did it have to be this hard? It shouldn’t be, but it is. You tried, you really did try, but no matter how much so, you still felt like you didn’t belong. You don’t belong. It's been five years, and you still didn’t have anyone to call your friend. Sure, you hung out with some groups and talked to them occasionally, but you didn’t have a tight-knit group with anyone, no bond that connected you, and no one to turn to when you needed it. Yeah, it sucks.

You hated to admit it, but you’ve spent more nights crying over this than actually smiling. You didn’t want to, god you were so sick of crying, but when it feels like the world is doesn’t like you, doesn’t want you, it’s hard to keep the tears at bay. And that’s where you found yourself on this night, sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, staring out into the fire as tears cascaded down your face.

Today had been a particularly hard day. It’s not like anything really happened to cause this, but the feeling of self-hatred was more intense than usual. There was just this heavy weight in your chest, a pressure that was holding you down, keeping you entrapped in your mind. You couldn’t escape, your thoughts chasing wherever you went. You were annoying, you weren’t good enough, no one wanted you.

The pain in your chest increased as the intensity of your thoughts. You don’t even know why you tried anymore. Why try to make friends when no one wanted you around? Why try to be friendly when all you got were the back of people’s heads?

You were losing hope. Hope for having a valuable friendship, hope for a bond so strong that nothing could come between you, hope for a life that you felt was worth living. You glanced at the clock, the hands showing it was 1 am. You sighed to yourself as a few more stray tears slid across your blotchy cheeks. You supposed you should head off to bed, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to move.

Your mind started spiraling again, spouting insults to yourself, that was until you heard two sets of feet pattering down the stairs, breaking the solitude. You faced the fire again, squeezing your eyes shut and lowering your body against the couch in a pathetic attempt hide yourself from their view.

///

Fred and George had planned to wake up in the middle of the night and brainstorm some new product ideas they would create in the future. So, as the clock struck 1 am, both sat up, grabbed the needed equipment and made their way down as quietly as possible. What they hadn’t planned, however, was the lone figure sitting on the couch, curled into themselves. They both stopped in their tracks, looking at each other before continuing to descend the stairs. Maybe if they kept quiet you both could just sit without disturbing each other.

That was, until they heard you let out something akin to a choked sob. You covered your mouth with your hand, hoping to whatever god was out there that the boys at the bottom of the steps didn’t hear it. Your prayers were left unanswered as you heard them walk closer to the couch.

George and Fred glanced at each other a second time, a look of concern and curiosity crossing their features. Had they known what you were doing down here, they wouldn’t have disturbed them. But, as their presence was known, they knew they couldn’t just leave when someone was in a state such as this.

Slowly, the twins made their way to the back of the couch, George reaching out to gently grasp your shoulder, which you practically jumped out of your skin at the contact.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,”

“It’s okay...” you brought your hand up to your chest, trying to slow down your racing heart. You hadn’t expected the strange boys to take notice of you, and you definitely didn’t expect them to come over and talk to you.

You looked behind you at the pair of redheaded twins. The one with his hand on your shoulder, that was George, and the one standing next to him was Fred. You don’t exactly know how you were able to tell the twins apart, but you just could. It was possibly due to the many years of close observation, not that you’d admit that to anyone.

Fred, the shorter of the two, spoke up next, “are you alright over here? We heard you crying."

You shrugged your shoulders at his question, why would he care? No one else did. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

George took his hand off your shoulder, much to your delight, and opted to sit next to you instead, Fred following suit on the opposite side of you. “C’mon, love. What's up?”

You wanted to say something, you really did. But you knew once you started speaking, they’d get bored or annoyed and leave. That's happened way too many times to count. Again, you shrugged your shoulders and brought your hand to rub your arm, trying to rid the internal chill spreading through your bones.

“It’s just... I’m lonely,” you took a deep breath and looked down at your lap, not wanting to see the looks on their faces. “I don’t have any friends, no family here, and I’m all alone. No one to talk to, no one to hang out with-” you don’t know why you kept practically spilling your guts to these strangers, but it felt so good to finally tell someone other than your teddy bear all the pent up feelings you’ve had for years.

George leaned back a tad to meet his eyes with Fred, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. The twins new who you were, well, they knew of you. They've always seen you around, occasionally accompanied by different groups of people, but other than that you always seemed to be alone. Had they known how you felt, they would’ve spoken to you ages ago.

After a few deep breaths, you kept talking. “I just feel like maybe there isn’t any point in trying anymore. No one cares about me, no one even looks at me. I’m just a background character in everyone’s story. I’m always chosen last.” you couldn’t help but let more tears fall from your already red and puffy eyes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to wipe them away.

George took notice and hesitantly wrapped his arm around your shoulder whilst Fred placed a hand on your knee and squeezed gently. In a state like this, you wanted nothing more than to push them away, but the warmth they provided just from those simple touches alone brought a comfort you had never felt before.

They didn’t know you, yet their hearts yearned for the chance to make you feel better, feel happier. They wished they could take away this pain and make you happy. And that’s what they intended to do. George rubbed your shoulder and let you cry, looking over to his twin yet again, sharing a knowing look.

Fred spoke up first this time, bringing your attention to him, “look, we may not know that well, but we sure as hell want to!” you look at Fred with a deadpanned look and chuckled to yourself.

“I know you’re just saying that to-”

“We’re not,” George cut in, “truth is, we’ve always seen you around and you genuinely look like a great person,” Fred nodded his head in confirmation “we’d love to get to know you.”

“Look, I appreciate the offer, but sooner or later something will happen that’ll leave you guys ahead and me left in the dust. That's how it’s always been.”

George shook his head as Fred spoke up, squeezing your knee gently to bring your attention towards him, “we vow to never let that happen. We vow to make all your days' worth living-”

“-to make you see that you’re important-”

“-to bring joy and laughter-”

“-and, we vow to show you that you belong here.”

You didn’t really know what to say. What could you say to something like that? You were touched, your heart beat just that little bit faster in your chest. They seemed serious, and honestly, why would they lie? You felt a small, almost invisible, smile grace your lips. You'd never had someone say any of these things to you. But you still had your doubts. You had to make sure.

“Are you sure you guys really want to do this?”

As both Fred and George looked at you, hearts reaching out, they sealed their promise with a sentence spoken in unison, “we’re sure.”

And you know what? They were right, and they did what they said they’d do. It took time, of course, a lot of it, for you to finally feel like you had a place in the world. The three of you quickly became inseparable, doing absolutely everything together. It did take you some time to warm up to them, but with their joyous laughter and constant upbeat energy, it was almost impossible not to love them, impossible to not want to be around them all the time.

However, when those bad days came, they were always there to reassure you. No matter how hopeless you felt, or how difficult it was to get out of bed, Fred and George were always there, lending their hands and hearts out to you, throwing you a rope when you needed a tug. You never really said this to them, but you truly believe they saved you. They saved you from believing life wasn’t worth it, from seeing the world as nothing but grey and dull. They brought the colour to your life.

So, yes, you did finally have people to talk to, people confide in when you needed it, and you finally created a bond with someone. You finally had those people who wouldn’t turn their backs on you, who strived to make your day full of laughter, to make your heartbeat faster. You finally felt like you belonged.

#fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #george weasley #harry potter #harry potter imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley angst #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley x you #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley x platonic!reader #fred weasley x platonic!reader #george weasley angst

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jadoue1999 · 3 years

Text

Wanda and the life she deserved (she’ll make sure about it) Epilogue

Summary: thank you for everyone for reading this story! Remember to read the end notes for the surprise I was talking about!

Previous parts: chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, Epilogue

Chapter 12: Epilogue

And that was it. Everyone she cared about was gone. She stood in the foundation of her house; her grief so strong it made her numb. She pulled up the hood of her vest desperately wanting to be left alone. Monica soon joined her side.

“You did it,” she remarked, “you actually did it.”

Wanda didn’t answer, she just pressed her lips together and nodded in agreement. She had seen many movies and shows portraying people fixing their mistakes as a good thing, something that made them feel better. She couldn’t relate. She simply felt like disappearing into the unknown and never being seen again.

“You know, I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it, had it been me,” confessed Monica. “I would have done anything to get my mother back, I can only imagine what you’re going through.” The woman gently put her hand on Wanda’s shoulder, making sure to be slow enough so she wouldn’t intrude her personal space. When no protests came, she squeezed lightly. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

As they reached the town square, Wanda did her best to ignore the hateful glare of the citizens she had tortured over the last week. She wished she could tell them she didn’t know, but she was sure no apologies would be enough. Lost in her self-deprecating thoughts, she was surprised when Monica spoke once again. “So, who was the guy who played your brother? We never could identify him. Yet I can see that his family found him.”

Wanda didn’t answer as she looked up at the X-Men. Her brother was deep in conversation, probably telling them about his time in the town. She quickly changed outfits, feeling more comfortable in her newest costume. The Scarlet Witch, as Agatha called her; she liked the name. She was about to fly away when Peter suddenly appeared at her side.

“Wanda, don’t go.”

She froze in place; he didn’t seem mad at her, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Hatred came in many forms. Since she wasn’t talking, Monica spoke up.

“Hi again, I don’t know if you remember, we escaped the witch’s house together?”

Peter chuckled and nodded. “I do, that was wild.”

Wanda could feel Monica’s question, and the hesitation that came with it. “I know I’ve asked you before, but who are you?”

The silver haired man looked at the redhead, silently asking for permission. She couldn’t figure out why he’d even care about her opinion, but she nodded, nonetheless.

“I’m Peter Maximoff, I’m from a different universe.”

That certainly took the S.W.O.R.D. agent by surprise, she looked at both of them, wondering if it was a joke. She had many more questions, but she felt that the Maximoffs needed to talk. With a nod, she walked away to join an Asian man. Probably a friend of hers. That left Wanda and Peter alone, both wondering how to start the conversation.

“So,” started Peter, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks for releasing me.”

Wanda scrunched her face in shame, why had she even thought it was a good idea? “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted my brother back and you already wanted to leave, and I just couldn’t-“

“Hey, it’s alright. I mean, obviously it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as witchy over there,” he said, pointing at Agnes who was seemingly flirting with police officers. “You wanted me there, so I wasn’t really controlled, I was just sure I was Pietro Maximoff.”

Running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath to shake away her teary eyes, she finally looked at him in the eyes. “So, you’re not... mad?”

Peter blinked and cleared his throat, “Well, obviously I’m not pleased, but I think I would have done the same thing, had I been given a chance to see Wendy again.”

They walked over to a secluded bench that somehow hadn’t been destroyed by the battle. Wanda kept fidgeting with her fingers, the occasional glares of people mixed with the grief and guilt she felt made an interesting combination of emotions. Peter pulled her into a hug, and she held on for dear life, not wanting to be alone again. “I like the outfit by the way,” whispered Peter in her ear. “Might not believe me but it’s very similar to my dad’s. Irony of the multiverse I guess.”

She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips, he soon laughed too, and let go of her. He looked around the town, taking in the situation.

“You know, it might not have been real, but our little life was good,” commented Peter. He looked at his team, “I didn’t have any superhero duty to think about or daddy issues to deal with. It was simple.”

Wanda looked at him, not sure if he was being serious, when she realized he was, she simply nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I wanted this. I’ve never had a shot at a normal life, not since I was 10 years old.”

Peter smirked in agreement, looking a little lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah, I remember, your life wasn’t easy, uh?”

The redhead suddenly widened her eyes, realizing the weight of his statement, “oh, I’m so sorry, I can remove his memories from your head if you want.” She tried to put her hands on his temple, but he shook his head.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve had enough people messing in my mind for a century. Plus, I’m not really sure where my memories end and his starts.”

Wanda was left feeling even more guilty, how did she even think that it was a good idea to keep him? She looked at the ground once again, why could she never do things right?

“So... where will you go?” Asked Peter. “Cause I know how this usually goes, you leave in a remote place, isolate yourself and either build a new life or you get even worse than what your current low point is.” Wanda looked at him, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled as he raised his hands in front of him, “hey, you might be from another universe, but my dad basically did the same thing.”

She thought about her options, she had considered isolating herself, she had Agatha’s book after all, she wanted to study it. Before Peter stopped her from leaving, she truly wanted to be left alone. Knowing he didn’t hate her changed things. She wanted him by her side, willingly this time. After a minute or two of waiting, he spoke up, scratching his nose anxiously. “You... you could come with us, if you want.”

She turned her head towards him, eyes wide at the proposition. He gently took her hand and got to his feet. “From what I gathered here; you’re sort of a wanted person? No one knows you in my universe. Plus, powers like yours aren’t unheard of, you’d fit right in!”

He didn’t let her respond as he dragged her to his team. Anxiety was building up in her stomach, how would they react? She had, after all, kidnapped one of their members, even if accidentally. After a quick discussion with the bald man, the professor as he called himself, it was settled that she’d leave with them. The two blue people were polite, but obviously still suspicious of her. Peter’s father was, well, pissed to say the least. He didn’t talk to her and barely acknowledged her when she told them she’d create a portal to get them in their universe. She wasn’t sure how she had already mastered universe hopping, but she assumed it had to do with the scarlet witch thing Agatha had mentioned. After saying goodbye to Monica, who seemed glad Wanda had found people like her, they were off. Portal jumping wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it didn’t feel as bad as the first time she experienced her brother’s superspeed. The first thing she noticed upon arrival was the giant mansion, followed by the dozens of children freely expressing their gift.

That nearly made her breakdown right there.

She adjusted quickly, even made friend with a girl possessing similar powers named Jean Grey. It took a while for Mystique and Nightcrawler to fully trust her, but they eventually did. Erik still blamed her, but he had stopped glaring at her every time she came into a room. She had also learned to astral project herself, giving her more time to study the spell book. It had given her insight she never thought existed.

She had grown closer with Peter, who had confessed one day that his birth name truly was Pietro. They had both lost a twin and while they were both aware that it wasn’t the same; dealing with it together had helped them. Also, being the only people who truly knew Vision and the twins, they felt it was only right to grieve them together as well. Both had had their moments where they tried to talk to them, waiting for an answer, only to realize that they were speaking to shadows. It hadn’t really gotten better; Peter missed his nephews and Wanda missed her family.

Sometimes, when the mansion became too much, she preferred to keep herself in her room. In those time, she usually used it to study the Darkhold and it’s secret. That’s what she was doing, in the middle of the night, when voices pierced her concentration.

“Mom!” Screamed Billy. She gasped as she heard her son in her head. It was Tommy’s voice who followed, “mom, help us!”

Her eyes widened in shock. Her children were alive, they were somewhere. She snapped out of her trance, her mind returning to her body that was laying in her bed. She ran out of her room to join Peter who was listening to music on his Walkman. He looked at her, questions in his eyes, she smiled at him.

“Tommy and Billy, I hear them.”

In a blur, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, hope gleaming in his eyes. “Really?”

Wanda nodded, barely able to contain her excitement, “really.”

In less than five seconds, Peter had packed a bag and was holding it at his side. He offered his hand to Wanda, who gladly took it. He grinned, “let’s go get the rugrats.”

***

Notes: so it’s done! I hope you guys liked it!

As for the surprise, both my father and girlfriend wanted to know more about how the X-men got to Westview so I wrote another fic of their point of view! I’m nearly finished writing it, and it should be about 30k words. Each chapter being approximately 3k words. Now, question is, when and how often should I publish it? I had thought about publishing it every Sunday, unless there’s a day where it’s easier for you guys to read.

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douxparadies · 3 years

Text

Butterfly effect

SUMMARY: Draco knows when his life was ruined, when the selection hat shouted Gryffindor over his head instead of Slytherin.

Pairing: slight Draco Malfoy x Oc

Word Count: 13k.

A/N: This idea had been going around in my mind for quite some time and, only now, I managed to pass it on to the keyboard. I hope you like it, as I like to write it.

This idea quickly covers the original books, but perhaps if they like it, it will cover a little more of their adult life or some particular time. This story might actually be a long story in some future, but it is still in meditation.

♦♦♦

Draco Malfoy has a perfect life, is a pure blood and is at the top of the wizarding society. His life was always surrounded by perfection, even if his father was sometimes too strict, it was the best for him. The supremacy of blood, his father insisted every day, as if he had to engrave it in his memory. His mother, although she did not seem to support him in everything, not that she complained, was the perfect wife who obeyed her husband. So, he grows up tough, he can't play all the time and he has to be perfect like his family.

We are better.

She remembers her father commenting one day in Diagon Alley, pointing to the family of red hair. His father is the man he admires, so when he sees him despise others, he does the same.

But his life does not go as planned.

Draco can define the exact moment and the word that ruins his life from an early age. Where his whole perfect world falls apart in a single moment, where the nightmare seems to begin and where his life gives an unexpected change from what it should have been.

“Gryffindor” is the cry of the hat, after a long period of deliberation in his head.

The room is completely silent.

He is petrified.

Draco had been completely sure that he would go to Slytherin, his parents were in that house, that was his destiny. Almost as a joke he remembers his father wanting to send him to Durmstrang, but his mother changing her mind because she wanted to keep him close to home. How much he would have wished not to be in this house, how much he would have missed being at another school.

His parents were going to kill him.

He walks almost like a dead man, to that bright red table where nobody applauds and they look confused when he sits as far away as possible. He thinks of his suitcase full of green clothes, he thinks of his father who had practically demanded that he be in the snake house. He doesn't look up all night, almost clenching his fists in annoyance.

His usual arrogance, which he always imitates from his parents, doesn't show.

He doesn't have it at that moment.

He ignores that the first-year students follow their superiors, he runs following the teachers, almost skating when he sees the director talking to his godfather Snape. He had a frightened face when he was left in the lions' house. He practically begs, ignoring that his father would be ashamed, he begs to be moved from the house where he should be.

“I'm sorry, my boy, your home is now Gryffindor," Albus admits with some regret in his eyes.

Draco turns his face to Snape in a last attempt to help, but he just looks away and his hopes are dashed. There's still one left, his father would never let it end that way, he would find a way for it to go to the house it was meant to be.

But as Draco learns at a young age.

Things don't happen the way he wants them to.

Ignoring that he has to spend a week in the tower of Gryffindor, with a bunch of useless people who hate him almost as much as he hates them, ignoring above all Harry Potter (who is the last of his problems at the moment with the redheaded boy) and practically behind everything in his classes. He doesn't go out to eat if he can avoid people and just waits for the moment when his father fixes all this misunderstanding.

And it happens.

When Snape quotes him after his potions class in the principal's room, a genuine smile appears on his face as he enters and sees his father standing in front of Dumbledore. A boastful smile appears on his face when he feels that he will finally get out of the hell he has lived through in a week.

But at that moment, it was where all start.

The slap comes so quickly, that even the pain, seems not to appear and he feels that he is still in the middle of a nightmare. An ironic part inside him thinks that all this is a dream, that at any moment his mother would enter his room scolding him because they would be late. That he would be in Slytherin in a few hours.

“A complete disappointment, you can't even enter a house, what a shame to have a useless person sharing my blood” every word from his father, makes his smile fade from his face.

It makes him incredulous.

Your father sees him with hatred, as he always sees those of dirty blood, as he sees those inferior to them.

Draco turns to see everyone in the room, thinking that all this was a bad joke, that this is a nightmare, he almost begs someone to wake him up. But when he sees his mother in the distance of the room, lowering her gaze, when he sees the uncomfortable look of Snape or the pity look of the director.

Something inside him breaks.

I am a failure.

It is his thought, before turning around and running away, that he does not stop when he leaves the castle or when he enters the forbidden forest. In the middle of the forest he lets out his tears, as he kneels down embracing himself, feeling the perfect dream where he had lived this time.

It is destroyed.

♦♦♦

Draco wonders why he still attends classes, his father had practically given up on him in an alarming way and his mother, following his father, does not send him letters or other things. It's as if he never had any parents and they never had a child, which sucked. He finds himself lost in the castle, not feeling part of the lion's house, but nowhere either. Snape sometimes seems to want to help him, but he couldn't care less. Even his housemates who hate him seem to leave him behind when they see him so depressed.

The world sucks.

It assumes when he starts eating monotonously when everyone else does, only the farthest thing from everyone else.

He is depressed.

As pathetic as that can be.

Sometimes his gaze falls on the house of the snakes, seeing them with envy and wishing he were there, everything would be easier. His parents wouldn't hate him or reject him as it happened, he would probably be the best of his generation, the popular type because of his blood. But no, he was at the bottom of the food chain, he was pathetic, with no friends, no family, no status.

He sighed, waving his boring fork at the food.

His life was ruined and he didn't know what else to do.

He always thought that the people who came to Gryffindor, were the people who were sad to see, he was indeed right. Now he was a pathetic person who was embarrassed to see that.

A person takes a seat in front of him, ignores him as best he can until he hears him clear his throat. He gives his worst death stare to Harry Potter who appears in front of him. They have been in school for a little over a month and honestly, it was not someone he wanted to see. His father always told him stories about the boy who lived, as if it was his duty to be friends with someone so popular. Who turned out to be a very simple and annoying boy.

Although he was sincere.

Now he didn't care about that.

“What do you want?” he grumbled before shoving a potato into his mouth with a bit of rudeness.

This one seemed a little uncomfortable in front of him.

“I'm sorry, Ron was being a bit of an asshole, telling me not to go near you because you're a pain in the ass, but you really look...bad” the last word comes out of his mouth with hesitation as he grimaces as he speaks.

A humorless laugh comes out of his mouth.

No one knows your misfortune.

He was a nobody.

The memory of his father's cold eyes, make him angry for no apparent reason.

“You should have listened to that blood traitor” he mumbles weakly.

Was he a blood traitor too?

His father treated him worse than one.

He notices a grimace on Harry's face.

“You're making Ron's point.”

“Look Potter, not that I'm interested, but what do you want from me?” he asks boringly this time.

Make fun?

Most of his Gryffindor ‘companions’ had clearly mocked him in the last month, about how someone of pure blood has to be with mere mortals. Like this how a Slytherin's mocked him as he passed by, saying that it was a shame that a pure-blooded person with his lineage ended up in that house. He clearly didn't fit in anywhere and was beginning to get tired of people looking for something of his own.

He didn't meet the standard they set for him.

To be a failure.

“Well, you look lonely, I thought we could be friends” says the boy with ease, who doesn't seem to be the same boy who almost rejected his friendship in the stair.

When everything was perfect and I wasn't in this horrible house.

He saw him confused, before getting up upset.

“I'm not looking for your fucking pity Potter and I'm not looking for your fucking friendship either” he grunt in anger before turning around and leaving the room.

He was angry.

He ended up in the library, feeling like a horrible book rat like the Ravenclaws, but it was the only place he felt he was calm. The only good thing was that he had taken advantage of this time to improve in all his classes, being alone and without friends, he would be a competent wizard, hoping that that way his father would not be disappointed in him.

He would be the best in his house.

Although Granger's bitch was making it difficult for him.

♦♦♦

Childishly and still hopefully, he thought that the Christmas holidays were what he occupied, a few days away from all those Gryffindor (ignoring that he was one) and return to his home, where everything would be as it always should be. Of course, nothing goes as he hopes and the icy look on his father's face confirms that he still hates him. He tries uselessly to approach him every day, with the flame of hope, light but existing. But the only words I pronounced for him, was refusing to attend the party they used to do for Christmas.

That 24th of December, he spends in his room looking at nothing.

He felt that his family had abandoned him.

Going back to Hogwarts was stupidly better than being at home.

At least there he would just get away from everyone.

Following his plan to study as much as possible to be the best in his class and to prove to his father that he was worthy, even though he never had to work hard at anything in his life, it doesn't seem to be working. The letters he sends to his mother are mostly ignored, his father seems uninterested in acknowledging him and everything seems worse when Granger mercilessly sweeps away every damn exam.

Sometimes Potter takes a seat with him at meals, his friends seem to see him badly, but sometimes the Granger girl seems to follow him, to the grimaces of the Wesley boy, who never comes close.

“I hope you have a good day Draco” greets kindly Hermione, who seems encouraged that they are some kind of rivals in her house.

Both of them were the ones who contributed the most points.

He ignores her.

“You should come and see me play sometime,” says Harry sometimes, almost rubbing him the wrong way round, as he could get into the quidditch even though he's a year younger.

Of course.

It's Harry Potter.

But he who wants to move house, the laws cannot be flexible for him.

Ignore them both.

He ignores everyone in his first year, although when the time comes to return home, even though Harry Potter and company had to fight against, he really doesn't care what with, it ceases to be important when he is alone in a train carriage. When he arrives at the station, he can see how most children are welcomed by their family, but he feels the cold in his body when Dobby appears shyly in front of him.

His parents are busy, he says.

He laughs with irony.

His life sucks.

♦♦♦

Being at home is more boring than being at Hogwarts, which is saying a lot. He eats at times when his father is away, his mother does not speak to him and he feels more alone than ever. He decides to go for a walk, with nothing to lose and almost wishing lightning would strike him to end that misery. He wants to get lost in the middle of the forest, never appear and stay there forever. His father had always tried to show him the pride of being a pure blood, but a part of him doesn't make sense.

His father loves prestige.

As he was no longer someone in his image, someone to be presumed, he was discarded.

He was useless.

He was not good enough for his father.

His only comment when he arrived home was that he was so useless, that a dirty blood it had beaten him on his grades.

He kicked a tree hard, not feeling the pain in his foot.

He hadn't asked for that, he hadn't asked to be in a family like that, he wanted his life before what was happening now.

“Kicking a tree is not very useful” a somewhat shrill voice speaks next to him.

He turns his face confused, not understanding where he was, he didn't know how long he had been walking and where he was, shit. The one who speaks is a girl, younger than him with red hair and brown eyes, who has clothes that do not look new and can identify as a member of the Weasley family.

As if that thought attracted them, two red hairs of identical face appear moments later.

“Look who Ginny has found.”

“Something quite curious in the forest.”

The Weasley twins speak in a somewhat scary coordination, he grimaces uncomfortably. The twins hadn't bothered him as much as others in the lion's house, but they were known as potential troublemakers.

The girl tilts her face in confusion.

He clicks his tongue.

His father would probably say something like "blood traitors" inciting him to walk away or make fun of them, but if he was sincere, his father treated him almost the same way at this point.

His stomach seems to ring at the wrong omentum and he blushes with shame.

What was missing.

The twins laugh in a not so discreet way. The girl gives them a reprimand before putting her hands on their hips and looking somewhat threatening.

He wants to die.

‘Never show weakness’

His father used to say.

“Are you hungry?” asked the girl with something like mercy.

He wants to treat her badly, he wants to run and tell everyone that he hates them, he wants the life he should have had, he doesn't want to be there.

He wants his life.

He wants to be Draco Malfoy, the powerful Slytherin he was meant to be.

But it doesn't happen, even in a world full of magic like this one, where nothing seems impossible, his wish is never fulfilled no matter how much he seems to ask for it.

“No” it is cursed that his voice comes out so hollow.

The girl's smile seems to be intact.

He feels a chill on his back.

♦♦♦

No one says ‘No’ to Ginny Weasley, learns Draco sooner rather than later. He feels uncomfortable and in a parallel world when he enters the house of the "Weasley" family which the three children present as the burrow. He shouldn't be there, he thinks when the mother of the children sees him with big bulging eyes when they force him through the door, but a dog face to die from Ginny and commenting that he hasn't eaten anything, makes the matriarch even with doubts in her eyes, make him pass.

“This must be a joke," says Ron when he comes down to eat and sees him sitting at the table.

‘I wish’ Draco thinks ironically, thinking that this is the first time that they both agree on something.

Dinner (it's later than he thinks) is both a rumble and a twist, with the twins playing pranks on him, Ginny sitting next to him, excited and asking about Hogwarts, Ron giving him murderous looks, Percy looking confused and ignoring him for a book, even the father of the children watching him cautiously.

In spite of everything.

The dinner is quite good.

His father would probably kill him for eating something low class, along with blood traitors, but for the first time, he doesn't care. Because for the first time in a long time, the overwhelming silence of his home and the feeling of disappointing everyone is overshadowed by a meal that is too noisy.

“Why don't you stay over?” Ginny asks innocently.

Everyone turns to see her as if she had gone mad, including him, it's not something anyone wants.

But as he learns and reaffirms.

Nobody can say no to the girl.

♦♦♦

His parents ignore his letter where he says that he is sleeping at a friend's house, they do not ask, they do not look for him and that makes him feel worse. He could come back through the Flu network, but honestly, in this house where he does not feel comfortable, they seem to treat him better than his parents, which leaves a lot to be said. He begins to doubt Mrs. Weasley's mentality, which not only lets him stay without many explanations but also puts him in the same room as Ron.

Bad omen.

He practically vomits the way he has, so he is not surprised to sleep on the floor. What he is surprised about is how little he cares. He had never gone to sleep in someone else's house, always in his comfortable bed, surrounded by people he thought loved him. At least in that place people don't seem to ignore him completely.

Anyway, the floor is uncomfortable.

Draco does not know if Ron commented on something or started a conversation, he does not know if it was that he was too upset by his words or if he seemed resentful, what he do know is that he started the first blow. But in his defense, Ron also threw the next punch and they were both on the floor fighting like people without magic.

“For a brat in a golden cradle, you fight like a girl," he grunted before receiving a punch from him.

And it feels good.

To get out the anger and the rage he've accumulated for a year.

Fighting like a person without magic, his father would reproach him for falling so low, but he doesn't care when he throws himself on Ron and leaves him motionless on the ground. His cheek is hot and his eye is swollen, but he has never felt more alive than when Ron gave him a header to knock him down.

The sound seemed to alert the rest of the family, for I soon heard footsteps.

But he ignore them.

“You don't know how much I wish a family like yours” he grunts when Ron has punched him, he stops short, looking frozen by his sad look, even his body's pain from the struggle doesn't seem to matter “at least they don't ignore or despise me for being on Gryffindor” he adds before leaving his body flabby.

He does not want to keep fighting, he already took out the anger and his thoughts, that he never imagined having.

He?

Wanting to be part of a family of traitors, he had fallen so low, his father would probably despise him as much or more than he does now.

There is a chaos at the door that seems to have been opened long ago, before Mrs. Weasley starts to scold her son and he is pushed aside. He walks without much emotion behind the patriarch of the family, who sits him in the room and starts using magic to heal his wounds. He doesn't ask when he sees a scar on his arm, which definitely wasn't made by Ron, that it was his father's fault for throwing him a cup of hot tea that has cut him and nobody in his house wants to heal.

But this man that his father despises, treats him better than his father.

He assumes, a little late and a year after being ignored by his parents, that it is time to see people on their own and not by them.

“Life takes many unexpected turns Draco, but one thing I can tell you, is that it always gives us choices” says Arthur with a friendly smile.

He turns his uncomfortable face.

“This life has put you in Gryffindor, like a butterfly effect as the Muggles say, the little flutter of a butterfly can create a storm.”

“That sounds stupid.”

“You may be right, but what I mean is that a small change can bring about very big changes in life. I know you didn't plan to be on Gryffindor, but now you are, it's your destiny that's at stake and you can choose what decision you're going to make now”

He doesn't know if it's because he's the first adult or male figure who seems to recognize his existence or someone who seems to be able to help him. He ignores his father's mental voice, rebuking him for talking to him, he swallows all his bad thoughts, which seem to have his father's voice and not his own.

“I don't think I should have been at Gryffindor” he admits in an uncomfortable voice.

The only time he admitted that, both Snape and Dumbledore practically left him to his own devices.

A hand on his shoulder, it makes his eyes freeze in Arthur's kind.

“It's just a house, Draco, even though all my children are at Gryffindor, if my daughter Ginny went to another house, it doesn't matter, it's just a house, you're the one who decides your fate” he admits with a smile full of kindness, that he wants to make him cry.

But he holds back.

It couldn't be more pathetic.

Someone clears his throat and blushes, it seems that Mrs. Weasley has been listening for a while, because her distrustful look seems to have faded and she sees him with kindness, also some pity, but he ignores that because of her poor mental health.

“I think it's time to sleep, the twins accepted you in their room” she says with a pitiful look.

He nods before going to the twins' room, who smile politely, he thinks it's not so bad.

The next day he wakes up with purple hair.

He hates them, but laughs just as much when Ginny scolds them for being so childish, and for the first time in many days, he feels at peace.

♦♦♦

When his father finds out where he's been, the slap comes so quickly that he can't help it, but even on the floor or that his mother seems upset for the first time, they don't compare when he's out of it, throws a cruciatus at him and something inside him, which is not the unimaginable pain, breaks. His mother screams in agitation and jumps to stop Lucius, who seems somewhat horrified at the sight of his wand, as if he doesn't believe that she did that to his son, but Draco couldn't care less. On the ground, he sees his father with a blank stare, while his mother tries to hug and comfort him.

But he doesn't.

That day he cuts off all relations with his father in a sentimental way.

His mother, on the other hand, seems to stop seeming important, because she doesn't say anything to her father and doesn't seem to do anything to stop him from ignoring him, calling him a blood traitor.

Returning to Hogwarts was a breath of fresh air.

♦♦♦

Something changes that year, not only that Ginny was admitted to Gryffindor and greeted him kindly, but the twins who also seem to recognize him, pull some pranks on him, which he tries not to be a part of, but ends up in the middle. Harry and Hermione still sit down next to him to eat, but now Ron does too, he also gives him a look that looks like an apology and he shrugs his shoulders. It's not like they need to say anything out loud, what they said, or didn't say, was enough.

Harry seems happy when he starts answering his usual questions, which he didn't answer before.

Hermione seems excited when she arrives at the library and they study together.

Ron massacres him at chess and seems to help his self-esteem.

Ginny, who sometimes seems a little distant, smiles vaguely at him and he feels that something is wrong.

“Your sister acts strangely” he muses in a distracted way one day when Harry is at quidditch practice.

“What are you talking about?” Ron asks selflessly.

He doesn't know how to explain it, the memory of the kind and smiling girl who drags him all over the place, it's hard to connect with the girl who seems far away from every one, with big circles under her eyes and who acts paranoid.

“I'm not sure” he muses more to himself.

He stops when Hermione drags him to study and includes Ron, who complains loudly about it. At one point they both start to fight furiously, which he sighs for, preferring when Harry is around, so he can at least entertain himself with someone else.

♦♦♦

“I'm not going to play quidditch, I only know the position of seeker and that one is occupied” he comments one day that he is reading his book, while Harry makes an angry gesture.

Last week they played quidditch in the playground for fun, the children were surprised that he wasn't bad, which he explains, it's a sport he plays as a child. Ron is not good and Hermione, well she is in a category of her own. Harry whines about having a capable partner in the middle of the team who is a friend of his or who is in the same year.

He ignores him and continues to study.

“You're a book eater like Hermione” says Harry, bored.

He throws a pillow at he mercilessly that hits he face.

“You could be good chasers”

“I'm ashamed of you for being our seeker.”

The twins laugh at his comment, he laughs before dodging Harry's spell without much thought.

♦♦♦

The year was not so bad, supposes Draco when he sees that this time he has many more people in his car back at the station. Ignoring that he and Harry ended up fighting a basilisk and that Ginny was possessed by a newspaper, it wasn't so bad. He has friends, he guesses, he never had any friends before and now he has them. Hermione seems delighted with her third year, Ron seems a little uncomfortable with the whole situation with his sister, who seems to be a little withdrawn at his side, he and Harry had rescued her for a very short time, but clearly she would have been traumatised.

When they get off the station, he sees everyone saying goodbye to him nicely.

“I think you'll be all right, if you survived that poem to Potter it can't be that bad” he jokes with Ginny, who for the first time since it happened.

Roll your eyes.

Draco is surprised to see her father at the train station, but this time he is not happy, that man is no longer someone he respects and his presence is intimidating. He swallows his saliva before it grabs him roughly by the hand and drags him out of the place.

This cannot be good.

And it is not.

His father slaps him saying that he is a fool, that he has interfered again with the return of the dark lord, while slapping him non-stop. This time his mother is not present before the next cruciatus he receives, or the three others that follow. Lucius now shouts that he is an idiot and that he is ruining his plans, before ordering Dobby to take him to his room, without remembering that his own stupidity set him free a few weeks ago with Harry.

He remembers it with pleasure.

A new Cruciatus is what he feels before he becomes unconscious.

*****

The next time he is conscious, he is in St. Mungo's hospital all alone, he sighs before going back to sleep, he raises one hand, the right one, which now has a horrible scar from his wrist to his elbow, his eyes are glazed over, the memory of the cruciatus is strong in his mind. Two days later he leaves the magic hospital, his mother picks him up, but he says nothing on the way home, which makes him feel sick, he won't say anything about the man who tortured him and cursed him until he lost consciousness.

He wants to laugh when they enter the house, which no longer feels like home.

“Andromeda, my sister, she could take care of you” she suddenly muses when they enter the place.

He looks at her with disbelief, before laughing bitterly.

“That man doesn't want me here anymore," he muses underneath, but her mother doesn't deny it.

It was true then.

You mum soon places a key in he hand, which makes him look confused, his eyes seem alarmed and he makes his lips in a thin line. He doesn't want to think about her eyes that look worried, when for two years she has practically left him at the mercy of mistreatment and her father.

“It's in my golden room at Gringotts, you can take anything you want, it's part of my Black heritage" she says quickly and he looks at her angrily.

“You can't do anything either," he muses with sarcasm and a murderous look.

His mother's eyes seem to apologize and he takes the key with hatred.

He hates the key.

But he is not an idiot either.

He runs to his room, taking some things he knows he will need, before going to the Flu net without seeing his mother and shouts the only place he can think of.

♦♦♦

Mrs. Weasley seems to be incredulous when shyly asking for accommodation in her home, but it is quickly Arthur who accepts it with a friendly smile. He explains that he will pay for his maintenance, but they practically ignore him before going to Ron to tell him that he will be his new roommate. He doesn't seem happy, but doesn't ask much when he sees his gaunt face or the scar on his hand. "I had to get out of there" is all he says and this one doesn't press him, Ginny is the one who quickly makes him feel at home.

Her eyes, which do not look like those of a child, smile warmly when she sees her scar.

He understands her look.

It is as if she can tell him something.

The twins also soon seem to be playing their tricks on him and Percy seems pleased with his notes. But it's not until one night, when Mrs. Weasley scolds him for not being warm and gives him a gray knit jumper with a "D" on it, that he feels like he's going to cry. The twins joke that she will probably give him another one at Christmas, but he ignores it.

Harry seems surprised when he shows up days later and he shrugs his shoulders.

“We have a disgusting family", says his friend with a laugh and he can't help but laugh with understanding.

They both have that in common.

Actually, they have a lot in common.

They high-five when it's their turn to play quidditch with the twins and still win.

♦♦♦

Draco looks on with pity on the first day of school when Harry seems destined to die, it's as if every year he's in the middle of bad and very bad luck. Although in his defence, it was as if all the bad things happened to him. For his part, ignoring the fact that he had practically abandoned his home, everything seemed to get better somehow. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were not in the habit of sending him things, but at Christmas they had given him a jumper and food. His mother had sent him a letter, which seemed to be hidden from his father, so he ignored it as much as possible.

“But she just appeared out of nowhere” Ron grunted one morning about Hermione that he ignored.

Lately Ron and Hermione had been arguing more.

It was annoying.

“They like each other," whispered Ginny to her funny side, which he agreed with her.

Although the friendship was mainly between Harry, Ron and Hermione, after they adopted him, somehow Ginny started to spend more time with them (a way of compensating for last year), also the twins and that boy called Neville who at first seemed to be afraid of him, but after seeing him and doing nothing to him, he spent time with him.

Not that Gryffindor had changed, of course, they didn't bother him like in his first year (for having friends he supposed) but everything seemed a little better.

Calmer.

He felt at peace.

This was his path, not one he would have chosen willingly, but it was the one he had and he would work at it.

"Like your obsession with Potter" taunts back to Ginny, who mercilessly tries to cast a spell on him and he knows it is better to run away.

When he passes through the corridor, the Slytherins look at him and make fun of him, he ignores them, but sometimes he thinks about what would have happened if he had been in that house.

Would things be different?

He had no idea.

♦♦♦

Luna was a strange girl, but she was a friend of Ginny's. Probably, he thought ironically and sarcastically, his father would not approve of the strange girl's friendship, one more reason to let her study with both of them in the middle of the library. He seemed to space himself out a bit and ask her clearly indiscreet questions but tried to ignore him and not be so arrogant. Sometimes his natural side, the arrogance and pride that he had for so many years, would come out unintentionally, Harry would reprimand him, Hermione kindly pointed him out and with Ron they would hit each other sometimes, but it was okay, they taught him.

But now there was Ginny.

And Ginny was scary.

He wouldn't mess with her if he could help it, a wise lesson he and the twins used as their mantra.

“I can sit with you; you seem smart and I need help” spoke a voice beside him.

I turn his face with boredom.

A girl with short dark brown hair and light brown eyes was standing next to him with a somewhat silly smile. He recognized her as a Hufflepuff student who sometimes stood next to the girl Hannah, who sometimes stood by Neville and he unknowingly ignored her.

What was her name?

"I am Camile” she introduced herself when she sat down without waiting for a statement from him.

Just like the destructive Ginny.

Luna's madness.

This girl did not seem normal, too smiling and expert in spells, she seemed to know nothing about Runes and almost begged him to help her. He wants to refuse, but Ginny's gaze makes him sigh and accept her in the impromptu Wednesday study group.

She's about her age, but it seems a miracle that she made it this far.

“I'm good at the duels club” she says this one in a funny way before walking away at the end of the study.

He ignores her, not that he cares.

♦♦♦

“How come we always end up on the brink of death," says Draco boringly in the middle of the infirmary.

After Harry's godfather, who turns out not to be bad and who is somehow (very distantly) related to him, ran away with a hippocriph that tried to attack him at the beginning of the year (but which he didn't do by chance). It also turns out that Professor Lupin was a werewolf and that Snape almost died trying to rescue them. Although he had some cuts on his hands, he ignores everything that Harry and Hermione did with the time-turns.

He just wants to sleep.

“In my defence I'm not looking for this” grunted Harry with his arms crossed somewhat annoyingly.

Out of the corner of his eye they both watch Ron and Hermione continue to argue.

They look at each other out of the corner of their eye before sighing.

“I think I'll bet they'll notice until the last year” he mumbles under Harry about the bet between the Weasley family and them both.

He shrugs his shoulders.

“I'm telling you Potter, Ron's going to propose, he's stupid, but it's my money on the line," he says with a slight yawn.

He sees how Hermione seems to be about to kill him, which makes him hesitate a little.

Harry laughs as he bets on Hermione.

He may be on a stretcher, two broken ribs, wounds all over his body, but he can't help but feel happy surrounded by friends.

♦♦♦

Draco had a dream, one where he stayed at Slytherin's house, where he had everything he ever wanted in his first year. Also in the middle of the dream, he treated Harry and the rest of his friends badly, humiliated them, tried many bad things against them and at night in his bed, he didn't seem to feel good about it. Then he woke up, seeing all the red around him and realized that everything that happened, had been a silly dream, probably of his childish desires.

He did not like that dream.

Although he had the life he once wanted, he did not feel happy.

“I hate my life” snarled Harry across the dining room the next day.

Sigh.

Although they were all friends, Harry and Ron were the best of friends, but when the former was selected for the Triwizard Tournament which now had four participants, Ron seemed to walk away angry from his friend. He and Hermione were juggling each other to try and bring them together as friends again.

But it was difficult.

“You're unlucky and, I'll say this, it leaves a lot to be desired” he mumbles with amusement reading a book about potions.

Last year it didn't go so well and Snape, who was his godfather, seemed about to send him off for yet another failure.

With that kind of godfather.

“I didn't put my name on it.”

“I believe you.”

“Why doesn't Ron do it?”

Clearly the lack of his best friend affected him, he grimaced at the idea of admitting that Ron was clearly jealous. He was always jealous even of himself, until he explained about his family and they hit it off, Ron saw him as an equal, but with Harry.

They occupied something that would make them friends again.

If only Ron knew what he had and when he and Harry were jealous.

Things would be different.

“Give him time” he mumbles boringly.

Harry keeps ranting for several minutes, exchanging boring looks with Neville who shrugs his shoulders, there's not much to do.

♦♦♦

“Hey blonde head” says one afternoon Camile appearing from nowhere.

He sighs bored and a little annoyed.

He is still studying with Ginny and Luna, many times Hermione joins them, but Camile was occasional, sometimes she spent weeks in a row with them and other times she almost didn't show up at all. The laughing girl was part of the dueling club and studied with Professor Mcgonagall because she wanted to be an animagus.

He loved it when she didn't show up.

She was annoying.

“What?” she says with more annoyance than she feels.

But the girl keeps smiling.

“I need help with a class," he says, still smiling and with both hands together as if she were asking for help.

He sees her with annoyance.

This brat.

“Look how low Draco has fallen, he's not only with the dirty blood and the traitor, now he surrounds himself with mestizos “ says Pansy Parkinson passing by with a group of Slytherin.

He looks at her with annoyance, but this disappears when, out of nowhere, Camile passes by and punches Pansy who leaves her on the floor crying. She grimaces at the sight of her bloody, swollen nose, Camile's wand moves faster and the other two girls are turned into little Chihuahuas with alarming ease.

I didn't know she was so good.

He sees her impressed, this one seems bored.

“You know not all Hufflepuffs are so patient” she admits with a shrug.

He goes to say something, but a teacher comes over to scold Camile, which seems not to be the first time he has done something like that.

They end up at the address.

He wasn't to blame, but he's still an eyewitness.

♦♦♦

He can't help but be curious, Snape is kind and explains what he knows. Camile Marsell is a half Spanish and half French witch. It seems that her mother was from a fairly powerful lineage in the French country from one of the highest pure-blooded families, but she fell in love with a Muggle. She gave up everything she had to follow a Spanish man (who loved music) and Camile was born out of that relationship. The laughing girl had great potential for magic, but seemed a little confused like Harry at first.

half Blood.

The word collides in her mind.

Something that her father abhorred, over his pure-blooded supremacy.

Wizarding like Harry or Camile were not entirely unpleasant, Hermione was certainly a genius at magic.

There was nothing wrong with them.

Her father was wrong.

“You don't have to defend me," he snarls at Camile when Dumbledore gives him a scolding.

She smiles, ignoring his words.

“Friends help each other," she says, smiling.

He wants to ask her how long they've been friends, but he's tired and prefers to go to bed early.

♦♦♦

He applauds Harry when he manages to survive a fight with the dragon, which finally manages to calm the friendship between Harry and Ron, to the relief of him and Hermione. But soon the idea of a ball of the chosen ones, comes to stay in his group of friends and the whole school actually. He is about to say that he does not intend to go, but his friends end up dragging him along before he can refuse. He watches with amusement as Hermione accepts that someone has invited her and Ron seems incredulous as if he is indignant. He doesn't say anything about seeing Victor, a professional player, invite Hermione the other day.

Laughs when Ginny admits defeat in accepting Neville's invitation, almost dying of not being able to help Harry.

Harry who is rejected by Cho.

His friends are involved in many romantic dramas.

“Who will you go with?” asks Ron one day with suspicion in the middle of the great hall.

A memory of the last week comes to his mind, not that he thought about looking for a partner, but since he is going to the ball, he thinks that going alone would be pathetic, for a moment he thinks about inviting Luna, but he regrets it immediately. She may be Ginny's best friend, but she doesn't think she can be with her, without the intervention of the redhead for a long time. Hermione is clearly not available, so he thinks of the only girl besides them with whom he has contact.

One of those afternoons he walks to the library, where he sees Camile concentrating, or rather, not concentrating on the study but on making magical circles in the air.

He wants to run, but reluctantly walks to her.

“Do you want to go to the ball with me?” she asks when he takes a seat next to her.

He does not know if he has read her mind or she is really looking for a pair.

He shrugs her shoulders.

She smiles as always.

He doesn't tell Ron what really happened.

“I'm going with Camile, she's a Hufflepuff we studied with” he admits without telling the truth.

Draco has a pride to bear.

He sees Ron's completely betrayed face; Harry seems to laugh vaguely at the misfortune.

♦♦♦

The ball is not as bad as he thinks, Ron and Harry seem completely unhappy at some point, but Hermione really looks like fun, he has run into Ginny who greets him cheerfully several times, giving him funny looks every time Camile forces him to dance. Camile is strange, in a way he doesn't understand, she always seems to smile and has a lot of energy. Her father would be horrified that he considers her a friend and inwardly rejoices and hopes that he will ever find out, only to see her face horrified.

The memories of the cruciatus make him shiver, making Camile curious.

“You look like a boy with secrets” she says amusingly when they finish a dance and have a drink.

He ignores her by shrugging his shoulders.

Out of the corner of her eye, he sees Ron lose his dance partner for giving Hermione a dirty look, Draco feels the family's bet in her pocket.

“I like boys with secrets," adds Camile, making him spit out a little of his drink and look incredulous.

She lets out a loud laugh before forcing him to dance to a song, which he doesn't know like the others, making him look, probably, ridiculous.

But she smiles so big that she forces herself to be there.

When the dance is over, Ginny catches him from behind before whispering to him to accompany Camile to her door. He thinks it's ridiculous, but as long as the girl doesn't see him with big eyes, he accepts. Camile doesn't seem to mind when they walk together in comfortable silence.

She is finally tired of talking, he thinks briefly funny.

Everything in his mind seems to die when a pressure on his lips makes him freeze, it lasts a few seconds, but when he separates, he sees Camile as a fish out of water. He has never kissed a girl, he is ashamed to admit it, especially because in his first kiss, he was not initiated by him. Male pride on the floor. He sees the spark of fun in the girl's eyes.

Who has a beautiful green dress, his long hair in a hairstyle that only a girl could do and light makeup.

She is pretty.

Admits reluctantly, not bad for a first kiss.

He takes her behind the head and now it is him who kisses her, to recover a little of his pride, he would never admit in a million years that it is because he has liked the first one.

They kiss a little more.

When Draco lies down on her bed, a satisfied smile fills her face.

♦♦♦

Everything seems to be in chaos when Credic dies, he feels fear and terror for what it means. Even when no one seems to want to believe Harry, he believes him, because his father for years talked about the awakening of the dark lord and now, they are living it. He is afraid, he is horrified and in his fifth year, he understands that nothing good can come of this. The holiday in the burrow seems like a distant dream, which he now wishes to recover. Harry's visions clearly do not help at all and everything seems to be a whirlpool of desolation.

“So much for a quiet year” confesses Ginny one afternoon that they are together in the corridors.

Above all, with Dolores Umbridge hovering around.

Annoying and toad-faced.

Touching his hand briefly with bandages, having supported Harry was not such a good idea when they both shared the punishment, but he was her friend.

“Well at least someone is doing well with the plan to outdo Harry Potter”- he comments amusingly before pushing her playfully.

This one sees him incredulous, before wanting to put a spell on him.

“You haven't told me more about Camile after I saw them kissing” says Ginny in a funny way.

She had caught them that Yule ball, but had the decency not to say it out loud and only to harass him when he was alone.

Kind, he assumed.

Or blackmailing.

“We didn't talk much” he admitted something uncomfortable.

They have greeted each other in the corridors, studied with everyone, but nothing has happened between them. It's as if the ball was just a fleeting dream one night and it bothers him to admit that it irritates him more than he wants to admit.

“Who would say, both suffering from unrequited love.”

“At least I kissed her.”

Ginny's bat mucus appears so quickly and painfully, that he can only shake his hands feeling that he is drowning.

But the satisfaction remains within he of winning a verbal fight.

♦♦♦

Draco looks uncomfortably, as clearly the students of the house Slytherin have a clear preferential treatment for the toad face. He sees them as annoying when they keep making fun of him, but more than annoying, inside he feels uncomfortable. He has dreams where he sees himself in the house of the snakes and that makes him sleep uneasy, he does not like what he sees, that Draco that bothers others (as they do with his person) and that intimidates his current friends. He is afraid to say that to them, since he is a person that he does not like.

It is like hating a part of himself.

Because he knows, if he had stayed at Slytherin's house, he would have done it.

He was so fooled by the man who is his father, so full of resentment towards those who are not pure blood.

Most of the wizarding society is not pure blood.

Idiot.

“Draco?” calls Harry when they go to their private of forbidden classes on defence against the dark arts.

All because of his current teacher.

He sucked.

“I was thinking” he muses quietly, making Harry raise an eyebrow to see him confused, but he doesn't dare say his thoughts, maybe he shouldn't have been a Gryffindor as he was a coward “don't look at me like that, at least my date didn't cry all afternoon” he adds in a mocking tone.

Harry groans clearly ashamed and feels a little satisfaction at seeing him suffer for normal things.

Draco stops uncomfortably when in the middle of the room when he sees how Camile seems to have convinced Hannah to join "Dumbledore's army", all thanks to Ginny, he doesn't know whether to kill his pseudo little sister or thank her.

Harry sees him confused, Draco is grateful that he is an idiot in those matters, he had enough tragedy with Hermione and Ginny, besides Neville.

“Potter” starts Camile by his side humming funny and giving him a curious look, which he ignores as best he can.

“Camile, I'm glad you and Hannah could come, the more people the better” Harry spoke shyly, but glad to see her.

He whimpered when he admitted that, although they were not friends, Camile used to have casual conversations with the boy, especially about Quidditch.

The girl smiled too much, for his taste.

“There are cute boys to see around here, of course I'd come," she says honestly and without any apparent shame.

Harry is shocked, she turns to him and gives him a flirty wink before leaving. It's thanks to that that Harry turns to see he with an incredulous mouth, he prefers to leave quickly next to someone else, trying not to let the red of his cheeks be so noticeable.

♦♦♦

He looks incredulously at Hermione and Ginny sitting in front of him, both ranting about men, almost ignoring him at the time. He sighs thinking about how he agreed to study with them, turns his face to the window, almost wishing he could be out with Harry and Ron, but he had made a decision, he regretted it, clearly, but he is not one to go back on his word. In his suitcase in his room, a letter from his mother asking him to stay away from any trouble indicated that, soon, there would be trouble.

Not just the attempt on Arthur's life.

He felt uncomfortable, like a bad feeling.

A blow to the forehead made him his before he saw Ginny badly who let out a funny laugh.

“In the Malfoy clouds?” her asked amusingly, moving his eyebrows amusingly.

“Mind your own business Weasley," he grunts back equally amused.

Hermione rolls her eyes, exchanges a funny look with Ginny, both knowing the girl's problem with Ron.

He admits, only to himself and probably to Ginny (who in some way he doesn't understand is his best friend) that he might, in some younger way, have had feelings for Hermione. Not only were they competing all the time, the girl was growing up and she was cute, of course adding that would have bothered his father, made everything very attractive. But when he became friends with them, it only took a second to see the interaction between Ron and Hermione to know that he didn't want to get into anything romantic between them.

The image of a long-haired, funny-smiling Hufflepuff girl momentarily surrounded his head.

“Hermione what you occupy is giving my brother a kiss (which is disgusting) and touching his buttock to make you happy” says Ginny shamelessly.

It takes no more than that comment for Draco to grab her by the neck and start running around the common room, with a red Hermione of shame as well as anger.

They end up on the floor laughing and their task forgotten.

Amidst the laughter, Draco cannot help but think that both of them and the rest of his friends they were a family that occupied.

♦♦♦

Draco loves his friends, although he must admit that being friends with Harry Potter has put him on the brink of death, many more times than he likes to admit. The idea of going to the magic ministry is stupid, he tries to convince him before doing such a stupid thing, but, although he doesn't succeed, he ends up accompanying them. It is when everything seems to be in chaos, when they find out that Sirus is alive, that the order is safe (secret that they trust him for being a kind of honorary Weasley) and the crazy Bellatrix who is somehow distant relative, pursues them both to Sirus and to him to kill them.

All the people with whom he shares blood are crazy, they decide in the end.

Sirus at first had this uncertainty about himself too, until he told he that he was in Gryffindor and seemed happy that he was not the only black sheep in the Black family.

He was not a Black.

Although his mother was.

Everything was confusing.

Although he admitted to being a fairly competent duelist, Bellatrix was crazy (there was nothing positive to say in that situation) and as little as he avoided that dark spell. Whimpered when her hand began to bleed, proving that it was not by chance.

“Lucius no doubt raised a useless” he snarled that woman with a dismissive tone.

He saw her rolling her eyes.

Unbelieving buffoon.

“You're crazy, demented and no doubt I'd rather spend my life with blood traitors than a lady who's a whore behind Voldemort” he shouted the first offensive words he came up with.

The Cruciatus was not long in coming.

How many times can a person endure so much pain?

From his blood family, for worse.

Whimpering when he fell backwards, before Sirus started a battle against her, but they were walking too close to the veil. Sirus, like Harry, had a strange suicidal tendency, he decided when even trembling, he should throw himself with Sirus to avoid a curse from Bellatrix so that he wouldn't fall in the middle of the veil.

He feels every bone in his body ache.

But he's alive, she surmises with irony.

“That bitch is crazy” murmurs before Sirus brings him by the neck so that both of them manage to dodge another attack.

“Boy!” calls Sirus over him, but his vision begins to blur, before he bites his lips and stands up shaking.

They must fight.

Stupid Potter thinks with irony, before following Sirus and Bellatrix's duel with barely open eyes, with a nimble spell he makes Bellatrix fall backwards, before feeling an attack from his back. Bites her teeth as she feels pain all over her body again.

This time he is knocked unconscious.

♦♦♦

When he opens his eyes again, a room he detects from St. Mungo’s receives him, and he is measured to get into his bed, feeling pain all over his body. He looks at his bandaged hands and feels pain in his back, but he is alive. Memories of the battle in the ministry haunt his mind and he cannot help but feel terrified. A war, they had not been many and he hardly thinks if they survive, but that only seemed a prelude, a prelude to imminent war. A sound distracts him and he is paralyzed when the curtain that separates his bed is opened and Molly Weasley appears on the other side, this incredulous whimpering wakes him up and wraps him in a hug.

He can't help but wonder when his real mother hugged him for the last time.

He also can't believe how stupid Ron is, to be jealous of Harry or him, when he has a family like this one.

“I'm glad you're awake, honey," she says with sincerity and tears in her eyes.

He doesn't move, not believing that anyone else is crying for him.

He smiles slightly, before everything turns to chaos in his room.

Ignoring the visit of all the Weasleys, including Sirus (he doesn't quite understand what has happened to set him free), Harry and Hermione, Ginny is the one who tells him the story. He had received several unforgivable curses, a cruciatus and another that has left a scar on her back, which like her hand, cannot be healed. He was unconscious for two weeks.

Ginny seems worried about himself, just as her mother cries when she sees him, Hermione hugs him in a protective way and cannot help feeling at home.

“YOU ARE ALIVE!” both twins shout with emotion, before shaking their hair.

He feels pain all over his body.

His head does not stop hammering.

He wants to sleep.

But he wouldn't change for anyone in the world.

♦♦♦

Snape never treats him badly, even though since he left his father they have hardly had any cordial contact, but that does not mean that he is any less concerned when he obtains the role of professor of defence against the dark arts in his sixth year. Harry, who has always hated his godfather, doesn't seem too thrilled about the affair either, because although Sirus is declared innocent, he doesn't have the power to uphold it or something stupid said Dumbledore. He tries to remind him that he will soon come of age, but Harry can be stubborn and prefers to ignore him.

The fact that Ginny spends all her time with her boyfriend also seems to put him in a bad mood.

Her four best friends are in love, but not together.

Bad luck.

He and Neville seem to jump between the two of them, trying to keep the issues from getting too sensitive.

“Dean is a pain in the ass, he's cute, but I can do things on my own” complains Ginny in the common room with an annoyed grimace.

He ignores her for reading his book.

Dean's subject is a sensitive one for both of them, not only does the boy seem to hate him since his first year, they also share the same room and he seems to hate him because Ginny declared that he is her best friend. Although he repeats a thousand times that he has no romantic feelings for the girl, her boyfriend always seems to see him out of the corner of his eye as a potential enemy.

Pathetic.

“You're only with him because you're with someone," he says before turning the page in the book on oclumacy.

Even though Snape doesn't treat him like he used to, he has given him that book in his fourth year, so he tries to study it. Sometimes after school in his fifth year, he would instruct him, he almost had the trick of doing it without difficulty.

He worried about why her godfather gave her that.

“Dean is cute and kisses well, but I like my space, yesterday I reproach myself because I spend a lot of time with you” she grumpy is carelessly settling in his lap.

He rolled his eyes.

“Because of things like this he is upset," he says without taking his eyes off the book or making her feel uncomfortable.

He's used to it, as a child Ginny was very loving and he was clearly a carrion for his family. Like a sister she never had, Ginny began to follow him when her brothers ignored her, laughing and telling her things, which he did not ignore for a fact.

She was the first one to speak to him.

The one who took him to the Weasley house.

She was family.

He owed her a lot.

Besides, her lively and cheerful personality, helped him when he was not feeling well. Because he had the fake family of now, sometimes he remembered that his parents had given up on him, that they were on the side of the dark lord and the scars on his body were witness to the fact that both had taken different paths.

“It's stupid, Harry and Ron found me last night making out with Dean and took on the role of big brother, they should be like you.”

“You know I'd protect your dignity too, but you'd throw a bat booger at me and not take my help.”

“Exactly, thank you for noticing.”

He sees her thinking it was no joke and she with her head in her lap puts on an innocent smile, making both of them laugh slightly. Distracted he puts a hand on Ginny's head and starts to massage her hair, she makes a sound that reminds him of a cat and thinks she is a brat.

“I feel offended that that book is more important than your best friend.”

“This book would beat you at anything.”

A whimper comes out of his mouth when it punches him in the face, with force the lance of his lap and this wheel on the ground. Both of them burst out laughing when she throws herself at him, in his lap, and seems to want to hang him, but he hardly resists.

A sound of annoyance distracts them, causing them to turn to their right where Ron and Harry are standing.

Draco reacts a second later, with Ginny on his legs too close to his body and face.

His forehead is shaded in blue.

“Now you're going out with Draco too," says Ron in an accusatory tone.

Bad idea.

Faster than a flash, Ginny casts a spell on him that throws him on his back. She seems to want to go and kill him, but not in play as with him, so he holds her by the waist preventing her from committing a murder.

“Draco is my best friend asshole, now I'll kill you” she says this in a sadistic tone.

He decides he prefers to be on the girl's good side, so he lets her go and it's Hermione who finally manages to stop her from committing murder. The worst thing decides Draco, is the look of complete hatred of Harry, who does not know when or how, it seems that finally he has feelings for Ginny.

He snorts underneath when Hermione yells at Ron that he is a fool and drags him into the library.

Now Ron sees him angry too.

He whines.

He doesn't do anything.

♦♦♦

He decides for his own mental (and physical) sake to stay away from his friends, until they solve their love problems with each other, he doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire. Therefore, in his free time, he prefers to be out reading some book, sometimes thinking that he could have stayed in Ravenclaw, although he still doesn't manage to beat Hermione in notes. New Year's resolution decides. It is an afternoon in the middle of a bench, when a shadow appears in front of him. He tries not to look surprised when he sees Camile in front of him with her usual friendly smile.

He's ignoring him as usual; she takes a seat next to him and starts to move his feet.

He gets tense.

He forgets that not only his friends have these romantic problems. The girl next to him kisses him in his fourth year at the yule ball, but after that she ignores him, sometimes she talks to him as if nothing happened and he is clearly confused.

Not only are Harry and Ron bad with girls.

He is too.

Shit.

He would never admit it out loud.

“You look at me with bulging eyes, it's funny” she says she's pointing at him shamelessly; she blushes and this one laughs “I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't want to” she adds with a flirty wink.

That bothers him too, those shameless flirtations, make him feel uncomfortable.

He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, noticing that her long hair is now a little more controlled and longer than before, that her face is starting to stop looking like a girl's and her body is becoming very beautiful. He hates the hormones inside him and that this girl is by his side.

Just like Ginny and Hermione this one seems to be at ease next to her.

But it is not the same.

Is different and he doesn't understand how.

“Of course,” he says in a boring way trying to control himself, this one sees him as a bit annoying.

“You know for a guy, you're not very good with girls," she says, as if reading her thoughts.

Draco blushes before seeing her with disbelief, curiously this seems to be serious as she almost never shows it because she is smiling.

“That's rude” grunts before returning to her book.

This snort.

“Rude is kissing a girl and never bringing it up” she points out with clear annoyance.

His blushing increases and he sees her angry, as she seems to take it easy and he is a sea of nerves at this moment.

“You kissed me first.”

“And then you.”

“You acted as if nothing had happened.”

“I'm a Draco girl, we like to see an interest in a boy and not do all the work.”

Both are upset and look angry, he does not understand what she wants and she seems to want to claim something from him. The girls are annoying, he decides in the middle of something that he does not understand, only it seems that she expected him to look for it and it is ridiculous because he.

Because he...

He looks away, ready to get up.

“You are a nuisance” mumble without knowing what else to say.

He had enough family problems to add this girl to his life, his friends are now in danger and he doesn't know how long before everything goes to shit. It takes studying, it takes being a better wizard to help them when the time comes.

He should go.

But when he sees the girl sideways, still sitting, almost looking downcast and with sore eyes, he curses himself internally.

Only once.

He says to himself when he sits down again. Camile opens her eyes in disbelief when now it's him who initiates the kiss, because just like Ginny's eyes, but in another way, he doesn't understand, and doesn't care, he can't see his sad eyes.

He is not a scum.

He is not her father.

They separate and he is embarrassed but internally happy to feel his pride back for initiating the kiss. She smiles in a way he has never seen before, softer and more sincere, which also reaches his brown eyes, which he now notices have flashes of other colours.

It is beautiful.

“You're annoying too," says this one with a slightly broken but funny voice.

Then, ignoring his previous thought, he kisses her again.

Shit.

♦♦♦

“Draco has a girlfriend and won't die a virgin” celebrates Ginny in the common room, making him snarl in annoyance and Hermione laughing by his side.

Neville has a funny smile at his side, which he wants to smash with one punch.

He was still a virgin.

But he wasn't going to make that clear out loud.

Ginny continues to hug him excited, saying that Camile was a sun for putting up with him, that he should not ruin him. Hermione commented on everything he had to do to be a good boyfriend, Neville seemed just as tortured as he was.

“At least now Harry and Ron will no longer see me as competition” he muses, making Neville nod in agreement.

Hermione and Ginny look confused.

He snorts.

Who's the blind man now?

Who would have thought that, of the group of friends, he is the first to get a steady girlfriend.

♦♦♦

Many things are happening before his eyes, war seems closer and closer and Dumbledore's death is the trigger. When the great wizard dies, he feels that, within him, the world is lost, when a powerful wizard could not help it, they definitely could not do anything. At the funeral he is sitting there with a lost look in his eyes, he wants to think that he has nothing to do with this place, but he knows what happens to his father and mother, the bad guys of history and how this war was getting closer and closer to breaking out.

He sees the sky in confusion.

Was this his destiny?

When the hat chose him at Gryffindor.

What was he thinking?

“Everything will change," muses Neville sitting next to him and he nods his head.

He sees his hand for a few seconds, feeling a little pain in the scar on it as in his back. He grinds his teeth knowing that somehow that hat decided his fate.

'A butterfly effects.'

Arthur called once.

On the way to where Harry was with Ron and Hermione, the three of them had made a choice and given him the opportunity to choose. When he arrived at them, his three friends saw him with big eyes with questions, they had given him a choice because they knew the situation of his biological family,

“I'm in” admits in a serious voice.

Hermione nods.

Ron sighs.

Harry looks at him with gratitude.

They are friends.

While they go off, the rest go to look after Hogwarts. He looks sideways at where Ginny is next to Neville, Luna, Hannah and Camile. Her best friend smiled slightly, knowing that this would also be a battleground next year.

Camile gives him a slight smile.

A part of him, decided, was an idiot for not talking to her before and taking advantage of the time a little more. By her side, he had been very warm and different, a different good in his life that he thought he wouldn't have. But now is not the time to back out.

♦♦♦

The search took a long time, both good and bad experiences passed. Since Ron left them, he felt lost at the thought of his parents behind all this, struggles and losses. When they arrive at the castle after a whole year away in the middle of death (which he jokes about all the time with Harry telling him that he is unlucky) and ready to start a war, he feels confused. In the middle of the fight where he attacks and protects, he wonders what would have happened if his life had been different, as in his dreams.

Maybe he would be on the other side of the battle and that destroys him.

Why the other side is wrong.

Voldemort is wrong.

That is why when the Selector Hat appears, almost at the same time as Voldemort's snake, when Harry's body appears. For the first time he understands why he is in Gryffindor, when the sword of his creator is held in his hand to kill the snake.

Ignoring his number of wounds.

Ignoring that his parents behind Voldemort see him in disbelief.

He makes his choice at that moment, it is not like before that he only accepts the fate that others chose for him, no, he decides his path and the sword shines in his hands. Voldemort seems angry with himself, but he couldn't care less.

He is not afraid of him.

Not after all he's been through.

And then Harry seems to come back from the dead.

Before he knows it the battle is over, but he doesn't feel well, he is tired, a heart-rending cry from someone, is also the sign of a series of dead to be picked up.

♦♦♦

That night he walks to his old bedroom, which is somewhat destroyed but stable. He throws himself on his bed, followed by Ron and Harry on theirs. Hermione ignores that it's not the girls' bed and remembers one that must have been Neville's, the four of them are exhausted, the battle has been over for a few hours, but there are many dead, much pain and much blood. He feels too tired to talk or say anything, he just wants to sleep all night, but he feels that he will have nightmares.

“I'm exhausted” says Hermione with her arms stretched out.

The thought of her bewitching her parents and sending them to Australia runs through her mind, they will have to go and get them soon, they had decided in the middle of their journey in moments of stress.

Where they were thinking about the end of the war.

Where they were optimistic.

“I'm hungry” mumbles Ron against the pillow.

Everyone laughs slightly.

“By the way, Potter, technically Ron made Hermione kiss him, so you owe me money," he says, sitting on his bed.

Harry laughs when Ron and Hermione turn red.

"Hermione kissed him so you owe me money” counter this scathing, but funny-looking one.

Maybe.

It has a point.

“You made me lose money Weasley, you owe me” he grunts at he with feigned annoyance and this one throws a pillow at he face.

The four of them laugh like kids and he throws himself back on the bed with a peaceful smile. But his smile fades slightly as he remembers the number of dead, especially that of one of the twins who hurts him to the core. A selfish part of her inner self has been happy to see Camile among the survivors, she herself had a terrible wound on her leg from a werewolf, but she only laughed saying that it was not that serious.

They would have to wait until the next new moon.

But she was alive.

That comforts him.

“Hey Draco", says Harry out of the blue, turns to see him confused and he smiles at him “I'm glad you're my friend” he talks a bit corny, but he understands.

Friendship is important.

It reminds him of how Sirus talks about his friendship with Harry's father and with Lupin.

“Don't get cheesy Potter, I have a girlfriend unlike a guy who got brave and left her” he comments funny and this one whines indignantly.

A move at his side, makes him see Hermione sitting next to him.

“I'm also glad you're my friend Draco, if I had a brother I'd be like you and Harry.”

“Yes, because if I were Ron I'd be incest.”

A pillow from Ron makes him laugh when he just pats his head, but he high-fives himself.

The four of them laugh, before the four of them end up in their bed, in a knot of hands and legs, sleeping together. Draco at that moment thinks about what his life could have been different, if he had been selected in another house, but when he feels Harry's elbow, when Ron snores or when Hermione babbles by his side.

He knows.

He wouldn't trade it for anything, this feeling of being filled.

And he hoped that, in a few years, everything would be just like this moment, the four friends.

The house of Gryffindor.

His house.

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mccall-me-maurice · 3 years

Text

In Hopes You’re on the Other Side, Talking to me too

Pairing: Jack Merridew/Ralph

Word Count: 2016

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Jack was trying his best to be Ralph’s everything. But in the end, it wasn’t enough. So every night the redhead finds himself talking to the moon to try and win Ralph back through words that he’ll never really say to the boy. All in hopes that perhaps a certain someone is doing the exact same.

Jack hates himself more than he hates anyone else in the galaxy. Okay, maybe that’s a lie. Maybe there are a couple people worse than him but it really can’t be all that many. It’s probably one of the shortest lists to ever grace this planet, but for now he’s focusing on the fact that he just lost the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Ralph and Jack never really got along until 2 years ago. They had a horrible past of bloody fights and words that chilled the other to the bone. They were so used to painting old school tiles with each other’s blood that they didn’t really get the time to know each other much further than hatred. Until 2 years ago, on the last day of their senior year. Ralph had finally held his hand out to Jack, letting the redhead take it instead of trying to maim him. That was all that it took for the boy who previously was his rival to become fascinated with Ralph in a way other than what he initially thought. Of course, it was supposed to be a horribly inconvenient time for both of them and if he had to guess, Jack would’ve said Ralph planned it so he wouldn’t have to face the freckled boy again. However, fate had different plans for them and on their first day of college, the two had been shocked to figure out that they were located in the same hall for the next four years.

Flash forward 1 and ½ years and Jack and Ralph were helplessly in love with each other. Nobody had suspected the pairing of an easygoing business major and finance major to pair up with each other. Jack himself didn’t really notice when the shift from friends to boyfriends occurred but before he could blink an eye, he was abandoning homework assignments to be with Ralph and staying up hours past when he usually drifted off to sleep to hear the tired voice of his boyfriend giggle about people he had seen in class. 20 years old and Jack really believed he had found his soulmate. He really believed that they would be together for as long as they lived. As long as the sun burned in the sky, his hand would be in Ralph’s. Even once they passed, they would be dancing together as ghosts.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

It was March 3rd, the weather had shifted to overcast and Jack was slammed with studying for exams. Ralph’s exams had passed a week prior and the boy had flopped on his boyfriend’s bed, eyes scanning through a phone screen. Every so often he would hammer Jack with a series of questions and the redhead would be so tired he wouldn’t really give coherent responses. Late nights studying pages that were swimming with words and an excessive amount of monster energy drinks really turned someone’s brain to absolute mush. Not to mention Ralph had been sickeningly sweet to him, as if he could persuade Jack off of his swivel chair and onto the bed. As much as he wanted to be over there, running his fingers through Ralph’s hair and whispering the boy to sleep, all he could do was let the red ink of his pen slide across paper knowing that he was one sentence closer to the warm embrace of the blond.

“Jack…”

“What’s up?” Ralph sounded wary, like the news he was about to break would simply crush Jack. Little did he know, it would.

“Jack we need to take a break.” Jack choked on his spit. “Not forever. I don’t want to be away from you forever… Unless it has to be that way. Just for a couple weeks, a couple months. However long it takes for you to realise that there’s so much more to life than what lies in those textbook pages. I mean… You have been straight up ignoring me lately and I talked to Simon about it… He agreed that what's best for us is to just take a break. I suppose I’ll see you around.”

Which leads Jack to the present day, lying on the bed Ralph once laid on, scrolling through the text messages that Ralph once sent with tears in the corners of his eyes. He wants nothing more than to have the boy back, the heat of the soccer player's body warming Jack as he presses his cheek against blond hair. The energy of the night has been doing this to him recently, the darkness shrouding him as he lets himself sun quietly into the pillow. He can’t imagine that it’s not his fault. He gave Ralph his everything but even then the boy deserves so much more. He deserves the best and Jack clearly isn’t that for him. He will never be.

Jack shuts his phone off, placing it on the nightstand that lies to his left. The only thing that lights up the room is the beam of moonlight through his awfully cheap curtains. The flimsy white fabric barely blocks out anything, but even the inanimate object seems to be trying harder than Jack. The clock on his nightstand reads 23:57, signalling to the boy that even though exams are long over, he will still be up for at least another 3 hours. Not studying like he used to. No, he stopped studying the day that he took his final test, body filled with too much sorrow to even review the content properly. Recently the redhead has picked up the hobby of sitting cross legged in front of his window on the second floor of building B and he talks. He talks to the moon, to the stars, but most importantly he talks to Ralph. Whether the blond listens or not, he really isn’t sure. It’s not like his ex-boyfriend would ever be able to hear his cracked voice stumble over words as he spills his heart out to the endless night. Normally Jack wouldn’t even let himself be weak enough as to think about a head of blond hair for one more minute of one more day. And he does play a very clever façade in front of Roger and Maurice. He acts like Ralph doesn’t exist, like the hole in his heart doesn’t ache every time tan skin and ocean blue eyes filled with joy cross his path. On the days he isn’t sitting in his room, all alone, he’s out with his friends letting sweaty bodies press up against him as music blares. Drinks spill from red cups and onto the floor and all Jack can think about is how none of the people that choose to plaster themselves to him are Ralph. None of the people who cover his mouth with theirs, only to be quickly shoved off and sworn at, are the boy who he wishes would drunkenly kiss him. As much as he prays that Roger will show up empty handed with a party invite, at least once a week the raven haired boy is smirking at him with a bottle of booze clutched tightly in his fist. In order to seem like he’s the same sick person he was before he dated Ralph, he gives his friend an equally mischievous smile and takes the bottle.

Perhaps all of these emotions that Jack is feeling are Ralph’s fault. Or at least a byproduct of the fair boy. Before he let the boy ruin his life with ease, he was so cold hearted and had no fucks left to give. But for once, he had something to fight for that wasn’t himself. For once in his 20 years of life, Jack had someone who loved him just as much as he loved them. Which is why Ralph had always mattered more than a stupid party or nagging from his mates. He would’ve dropped the world to hold Ralph. Yes, that has to be it. All the crying had been because the blond’s soft heart had destroyed Jack. It had left him in a million pieces and as much as he didn’t want himself to be weak, as much as he hated himself for crying, it was happening.

Jack lets his body move over to the window, legs almost giving out underneath him as he falls into the place he’s become to know so very well over the past months. Roger didn’t invite him out today, but he doesn’t exactly blame the boy. There’s at least one party Roger attends every night, but bringing the heartbroken finance major who shoves off anyone who tries to make a move probably isn’t the best look for him. So instead Jack is sitting in the oversized pullover sweater with the college’s name plastered across the front that he got at orientation. He doesn’t need a mirror to know that his hair is all mussed and he probably looks like the human embodiment of death.

“Hey Ralph. I know you’re not talking to me… And you probably can’t even hear me. But I miss you. A lot. It’s really not in my character to miss people so that’s probably why this feels so weird.” Jack can’t help the sad laughter that bubbles up in his chest and escapes his lips. It just happens as naturally as breathing. “You know, I never thought that it would be you that I fell in love with. But here we are. I would’ve torn apart galaxies with my bare hands and rebuilt ones that would shield you from any pain. I don’t know how you’re feeling but I do know how I am. I miss the big smiles that you would give people when they said something hilarious, I miss the genuine laughs that you only did when we were alone. I miss the way your eyes mimic the ocean waves and dance like the sea. I miss the soft press of your hand against mine, and how they fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I miss you.” The same words that have been rolling off of his tongue for weeks come easy now, eyes not watering with tears quite yet. This is always the easy part. Simple things that anyone would miss when they lose their lover. However, Jack isn’t even close to finished and he knows his freckles will be stained with tears sometime soon.

“I miss the way you used to jump into my arms after you won a game despite being hideously dirty. I miss how you used to drag me out to look at every sunset because you wanted to find a beautiful part of every day…” His voice cracks at the end, memories swarming around like bees to honey. Every simple thing the fair boy did, probably without thought, now haunted Jack. The sweet gestures lived behind his eyes now, only as memories. A part of him wants to stop missing Ralph and just get on with his life. Live like a normal human being instead of one who can barely function without someone else there. He knows that eventually it will happen. It always does. Ralph has probably already moved on, found someone new to waste the days away with.

“Hey Ralph…” Jack starts tracing a pattern onto the knee of his sweatpants with his finger, eyes locked on the stars. Everything about the moment slows, the dancing lights in his peripheral, from a party in another building, the twinkling of the stars, the rush of wind against his face. Jack lets his heavy eyelids flutter shut, praying that one day, at some point, he’ll finally have an answer to the question that lays heavy on his tongue. All the sleepless nights and words that only he can hear lead to the same place. Like a winding road that always spits you out right where you began. All he can do is hope Ralph hears him, hope Ralph is right there with him whispering words to the moon that sits high in the sky.

“One day, will you love me again?”

#lotf #lord of the flies #lotf jack #lotf ralph #lotf jalph #jalph #my writing #oneshots #oneshot #i’ll add tags later

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justreadingfics · 4 years

Text

His Girl (Revamped Version)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re perfect. Anyone who could read his thoughts would say he’s cheesy, but he genuinely can’t find a single flaw in you. Well, maybe the only problem is the man by your side.

Warnings: Angst, Cheating, Love Triangle, Pining, Smut, Revamped version of first fic written by the author, 18+.

Word Count: 4k.

A/N: Hi!! I’m sorry to say but this isn’t something entirely new. I’ve been thinking about revamping the first fic I’ve ever wrote for a while now. I love the story, but every time I read the original, it made me cringe for several reasons. I like this version better, but I haven’t sent this to a beta and you all know English isn’t my first nor my everyday language, so you may still find a significant number of cringy stuff, lol. If you read it and like it, don’t hold back on the feedback 😊 I’m tagging my permanent list.

Masterlist link on description.

He pays no mind to the loud beating of the music thundering into his ears, nor to the sea of dancing bodies and cheerful laughs around him as he makes a beeline for the bar. Another one of Tony’s big shindigs, one he can barely remember the reason for, if there ever has been one to start with…

He has lost count of how many he had to attend since he had joined the team. He hates it, of course he does. Everybody knows it… Bucky Barnes hates parties. He hates so many eyes which cross path with his, some condescending, some pitiful, others gleaming with fear… or hatred. He hates them all, but he knows he still deserves them all.

It has been a slow process after he came back from Wakanda, where Shuri has finally found a treatment for the trigger words and other horrors Hydra had seen fit to grace his mind with. He still struggles… with social events, with talking to people, with letting them in, showing himself… What could they see if they really look?

He hates parties, yeah… but he goes to all of them. For one and only reason. He takes a seat by the bar and, while he waits for the whisky he just ordered, his gaze roams and search through the crowd, looking for the reason he’s there after all…

You.

It’s been like this from the moment he laid his eyes on you. His gaze always searching, seeking you, longing that the sight of you can ease the ache in his chest that comes with the absence of your touch. To be honest, Bucky can’t understand why you have this effect on him, you two have barely exchanged more than two words and, even if his gaze is always sneakily on you, he shies away whenever you draw near. He rather keep his distance… he needs to.

But he’s completely and utterly infatuated by you. Not like he remembers much of his life, but he’s damn certain he has ever felt this way about anyone. Ever. He can’t stop thinking about how you held his left hand with no sign of hesitance when you two were introduced. He was so entranced by you that he’s sure he has held on to your touch longer than socially acceptable, and yet you didn’t make a move to let go before he did. He’s obsessed by the way your hips swing from side to side when you walk, by how you always looks straight into the eyes of whomever you’re talking to, the way your nose crinkles when you laugh and a small and adorable snort comes out of you… yeah, your laugh! The most amazing sound Bucky has ever heard. And there’s always a smile on your lips, for everyone.

Except for him.

Why, after that first time you two met, wouldn't you speak to him again? Fear… That’s the only possible explanation in Bucky’s mind. Of course you would be frightened by him…The Winter Soldier, the Fist of Hydra, the Assassin… He may be called the White Wolf now, but it doesn’t erase what came before…

With the whiskey now in his hands, his lips barely touch the glass when he finally spots you.

There you are, his reason, across the room, laughing while Sam says something. At that moment and every other moment, Bucky wishes he could be the lucky bastard who’s able to make you laugh like that. He takes a minute to take in the sight of the woman who he keeps up all night thinking about. You have your hair styled on that way you always have at parties. Bucky knows you choose that style because it’s easier and then you can do your hair yourself, oblivious to the fact that it drives him crazy with want to dive his fingers through your locks and tilt your head so he can ravish your neck with kisses and intake the sweet scent of you…

He gulps as his gaze falls down your body and he notices what you’re wearing that night. A long black dress. The side slit goes high enough to make Bucky’s heart speed up as he takes in the exposed skin of your thigh. The deep V neckline isn’t doing any good to his mental state either…

God, you’re perfect. Anyone who could read his thoughts would say he’s cheesy, but he genuinely can’t find a single flaw in you.

Well, maybe the only problem is the man by your side. Holding your hand the way Bucky only can in his dreams. The lump is thick on his throat at the reality.

Steve Rogers. Captain America.

His Stevie. Bucky’s best friend and brother, the punk who started a fucking war with the rest of the World to defend him. The one who introduced you to Bucky.

You…

His girl.

And that’s the reason why, besides the fact he damn sure scares the shit out of you, Bucky would never get to touch you, feel your skin on his. Breathe you in… Taste you…. The reason why he avoids any kind of close contact and is happy to worship your image from a distance. He can’t , by any means, give in to his feelings or get closer to you. He can’t take that chance.

He’s been fighting… against himself. He’s been dating around, trying hard to get you out of his head out of his very soul if he’s going to be honest. But all he accomplished is to compare every single woman he’s seen with you, and wonder how it would feel if you were the one he was holding, kissing, making love to.

“Jesus, you’re so screwed.”

Drowned in his thoughts Bucky has missed the redhead approaching, martini in her hand, sitting on a stool next to him with a smirk on her lips.

“What are you talking about, Romanoff?” He tries to play the ignorance card, knowing damn well that it would be pointless. The stunning spy is able to read his mind like no other, Steve included. Maybe it’s their shared past, the one they never speak of, but lingers in the air. The ex-assassins simply understand each other.

“Please Barnes, you’re wounding me.” Natasha rolls her eyes and brings the drink to her lips.

Bucky bites on his lips before letting out a humorless chuckle, “That obvious, huh?” He says, defeat in his voice and a hint of worry that his secret may not be as hidden as he thought.

“To me, yes”. She shrugs before spending a moment observing him, while he goes back to watching you across the room, hand in hand with his best friend. With a sigh, Natasha kindly places her empty hand on the soldier’s shoulder. “Just be careful, Bucky. Neither of you have been much discreet lately. Everyone else is a bit dumb, but I don’t know…”

Bucky snaps his head back to her, as his eyebrows knit close together, spotting the rare sympathetic smile on her tightened lips.

“What do you mean? In what way she’s not being discreet?”

The empathy on Natasha’s face falls and is swiftly turned into a familiar glare. Letting out a huff, she stands up and turns her back to him, leaving Bucky behind, mumbling words that his enhanced hearing catches as “Stupid Super Soldiers. No Serum in the brains, for sure”.

He’s left confused as he watches Natasha joining the rest of the gang who is now sitting by a round table close to the dance floor. As usual, she takes the chair next to Clint and orders for another drink. Bucky moves his eyes to Steve, who has his back to him, sitting across the Widow, leaning forward to say something to her. She responds by pointing to the bar where Bucky stands.

Steve turns his head to his best friend and whey their gazes meet, the blonde grins and waves, calling Bucky towards the gathered group.

Finding no way to decline the offer, Bucky sighs before he nods and heads to the table that is also accommodating Sam, Wanda and Maria Hill. Getting close, his heart rushes to his throat when notices that the only empty seat is the one next to you, who have your back turned to him.

“Hey Buck, come here and take a seat, the food is amazing,” Steve says with a mouthful, pointing with the fork to the mountain of food in his plate.

The fact that his fellow Super Soldier is the only one eating – the exorbitant amount of food- makes him think of the skinny kid from Brooklyn who could barely finish a whole glass of milk. The memory brings a warm smile to Bucky’s face, which fades as soon as he spots your stiffened shoulders as you glance nervously at the empty seat beside you, still avoiding to look at him.

“Ahm, I don’t know pal, I’m not really that hungry” Bucky replies, brushing the back of his neck. The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable by imposing his closeness.

“Oh, come on Tin Can, grace us with your broodiness… It’s not like you have somewhere else to go. Or do you already have a broad waiting?” Sam asks, emphasizing the outdated slang in an attempt to tease his centenary friend.

Missing how you take a long sip from your own whiskey, Bucky pretends to be amused by the conversation and makes a face to Sam. He can’t find it in him to prolong the subject or to say no the puppy eyes Steve always wear to break him and never fails, so he pulls out a chair and takes his seat. Right beside you.

Steve goes back to his food and the group goes back to chatting. The words are far from the focus of his attention as it’s so damn easy for him to feel the heat irradiating from your body, so close to him all he has to do is... Bucky’s glad for Sam and his never stopping mouth as no one seems to notice how his whole body flinches when his right thigh ever so lightly brushes against yours under the table. He quickly pulls his leg away, but not before goosebumps spring unbidden across his skin at the brief yet burning touch.

He’s expecting you to move the chair closer to Steve, to prevent any kind of contact with him to happen, but… but instead, she leans back on his touch, seeking the overwhelming sensation again, brushing her leg against his and leaving it there.

All the sound around him fades away, replaced simply by the thundering sound of his beating heart.

Every single inch of him is completely stiffened when he rests his hand on his leg and by the corner of his eyes he sees you furtively doing the same thing. Feeling a rush of boldness and a lack of better judgment, he moves it closer to yours until your pinkies link between your laps. He feels dizzy when you softly caress his finger with yours and all of a sudden, like it’s the most natural thing to do, he has all of his fingers tightly interlocked with yours.

His holding hands with you under the table cloth and it’s so damn hard to breathe now. Bucky’s mind runs in full speed, matching his heart, but yet, for that moment, time seems to freeze and everything’s slow motion as a forbidden, yet beautiful promise takes over his senses.

No… It wasn’t fear the reason why she kept his distance from him… She’s touching him, he has her soft hands on his. And it feels so right…

“Are you ok, Barnes? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

Bucky’s stupor is swiftly interrupted by a familiar voice in the far distance. It’s Natasha, of fucking course.

The unwanted attention makes you quickly remove your hand and back away your leg.

Bucky feels empty.

“Ahm, Yeah I..I guess I need another drink, I’ll be right back” Bucky’s chair screeches against the floor as he stands up and leaves the table, choosing to ignore Natasha’s suspicious look. To his relief the rest of their friends are apparently unfazed and oblivious to anything.

In need of a place to calm his restless state, he heads to the rooftop. Getting out of the elevator, he takes in the fresh air, relishing into the breeze of the night and, watching the city lights, the puzzled events of the last couple of minutes keep running over in his mind. You touched him… he can still feel the burning where your skin met and he knows that you were as much affected by it as him… What the hell’s happening?

The quietness of the rooftop is broken by the elevator ding behind him. His heart jumps when he turns his head and spots the person coming out of it. He can’t. He can’t hold back a second longer anymore, and without even thinking, he takes two quick steps, closing the distance between you and him to press his lips against yours. As he pulls you to him, you immediately kiss him back, one hand tangling in his lose locks, while the other snakes up his chest.

Without breaking the sloppy and needy kiss, Bucky pins you against the nearest wall. He’s so drunk in your taste, he doesn’t want to let you go…Not again. Not now. He feels the whiskey you’ve been drinking mixed with your Chapstick and something sweet, that he knows it’s all you and he thought he would never get to taste.

Finally…

Both of your arms circle his neck while one hand still holds the back of his hair in a grip. You gasp for air and Bucky takes the chance to ravish your collarbone with a trail of hot kisses, reaching your pulse point to lightly bite on it. You let out a moan and while you tighten the hold on his locks, Bucky realizes he has never listened to anything as beautiful.

“I need you… Please.” You’re breathless when you whisper the words to his ear, reaching down between your bodies to palm the bulge straining his pants.

If Bucky had a tiny bit of control until then, it is completely lost now with the husky plea coming from your lips. He captures your mouth once again, and moving quickly, he travels his hand up your exposed leg through the dress slit, burying his fingers under the band of your underwear to find the velvet skin already damp. He lightly brushes the little nub there and the sensation pulls a primal groan from him and a deep sigh from you through the kiss.

Tangling his tongue into yours, he pulls the black lace material down and when it falls to your knees, you wiggle your legs to let it drop to the floor before you step out of it. Without breaking his lips from yours, Bucky quickly goes to his belt, as you pull the skirt of your dress by the side slid up to your waist. When his erection springs free, Bucky holds your leg up to open you for him and just can’t waste anymore time as he guides his impossibly hard cock to your wet entrance.

It’s almost too much… the sensation of being inside you, so damn close, the velvet heat tightening around him…a kind of intimacy he only dreamed about. You cling to him as he slowly pushes himself further and the air leaves him a sharp exhale when he bottoms out. Only then, your lips detach from his as your breaths come out short.

Keeping your leg locked around his waist, he uses his metal hand to support himself on the wall, while you maintain a firm grip on his shoulders. You two exchange gazes for what feels like the first time and for a moment you just stay like that, staring to each other, studying every little inch of each other’s faces… Getting acquainted… Body and soul, Bucky suspects, as something entirely new and powerful grows inside him. A sense of calm, of peace, of belonging…

When he starts to move, he goes slow at first, allowing you two to adjust to the overwhelming sensation. You fell so damn good around him, better than any day and night dream he ever had, he realizes, as his flesh hand leave your leg, secured around his waist, to pull down the shoulder straps of your dress. One, then the other, dropping down your arms and exposing your breasts to him.

Beautiful, so damn beautiful, it makes him breathless…

He watches as your eyes close and your lips part a little, whimpering in sheer ecstasy, when he grabs one of your breasts into his hand, never stopping the slow and deep move of his hips. He gently massages the soft flesh, and can’t take his eyes off your face as the slight shift of expressions in synch with his actions shows how much pleasure he’s giving to you.

“Oh, Bucky…”

Hearing the whisper of his name in your mouth, especially in such a sinful way, makes his heart melt and his cock twitch inside of you. His thrusts grow faster and the two of you become a mess of heavy breaths and moans. Bodies glued together, your skin is hot against his and your breathe tingles over his neck. It’s perfect. And it feels so right, so damn right, when your pussy clenches around him…

He needs to feel it again and the frenzy you both share boosts when Bucky’s flesh fingers meet your clit. He circles the nub in fast, harsh circles as you tighten your leg around him for support. A slight change in the angle and the extra stimulation makes you let out a scream of pure ecstasy. He feels it coming as your cunt grips his cock in the most delicious way.

Your whole body shakes against him as you let out a wanton moan, signaling your climax. As you fall apart, Bucky’s fingers leave your heat to hold you tightly by your waist. He knows he isn't going to last much longer, he just can’t, even if he wants to have you like this forever, breathless in the pleasure he’s provided you with while he can feel your heart thunders against your chest and your tongue brushing over the skin of his neck.

“I need to taste you,” you breathe and it startles him for a second when you push at his chest, forcing him to pull out of your pulsing heat.

His mind goes blank when you sink to your knees and grip the base of his cock, coated in your arousal, and your mouth wraps around the throbbing tip. He watches down in awe, supporting himself with both arms on the wall. Your soft lips around his cock makes him lose his fucking senses and a few bobs of your head is already too much for him to handle.

“I.. I’m … gonna…. ”, Bucky tries to warn you, only making you grab his ass and clutch his hips still, not letting him pull away from you.

He groans loudly and can’t hold back anymore before you take everything he has to offer, not missing a single drop of the most powerful orgasm he ever had.

Struggling to breathe and gather his thoughts again, Bucky offers his hand to help you get on your feet and pulls you in a tight embrace as his forehead leans against yours, sharing the blissful state.

He loves you.

If he didn’t know that before, it’s pretty damn clear now. He loves you and this love will ruin him. Of that he’s sure, while he holds your half naked body to his.

When breathing isnt’t so hard anymore, you’re the first one to speak.

“I love Steve… I really do.”

Bucky’s eyes close and he sighs at the mention of his friend’s name.

“Yeah, I know, I love that punk too,” he responds matter-of-factly in a sad smile.

“You must think I´m a-” A sob breaks through your lips before you have the chance to continue.

“Shhh,” He whispers as he cups your face and uses his thumb to caress your cheek and wipe the tears falling down. “Never,” he assures you, shaking his head, “I would never think anything like that of you.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” you add, pleading for him to believe, and Bucky hates to hear the sorrow in your beautiful voice.

“I know sweetheart, I know…” He tries to sooth you, even if his own heart is breaking at how ashamed you seem to be of what just happened, prompting his own guilt to tighten his throat.

“I don't want to hurt him,” You add. “But you…” The whisper is low as you lean your face against the touch of his hand, shutting your eyes. “God, I can’t take you of my mind ever since I first saw you, not matter how hard I tried. I’ve been going crazy,” You breathe hard as your eyes open and you look up at him, gripping hard the back of his suit with your hands.

Bucky’s heart beats harshly against his ribcage at your confession. “I know the feeling,” he says in the steadiest voice he can manage, keeping the brush of his thumb on your cheeks. “All I think about is you, all the time.” He almost can’t believe he’s actually telling you this, “I-I´m in-”

You don’t let him finish when you abruptly part from him, ceasing any kind of touch. The pained expression in your face is nothing but a plea, one that begs him: “please don’t say it”.

He doesn’t. He sulks in a breath and doesn’t say he’s completely and desperately in love with you and it feels so right even if he knows how damn wrong it is.

You bite on your lips and a heavy silence falls upon you as you fix your dress and hair, allowing him to put himself together, too. Your head drops, before you lean down and take your underwear from the floor.

“This can’t … won’t happen again,” You manage to make your words convincing, standing up in front of him as your jaw clenches, holding the small piece of black lace tightly in your hand.

Bucky shuts his eyes and nods. He knew this was coming, but the fact does nothing to ease the pain of hearing those words.

When he feels your grip on his chin, his eye pop open. You two stare at each other for a long moment, sharing the words, the ones forbidden to be said out loud, before you lock your lips together again.

As he pulls you to him, he focuses on every move, every touch, every sensation. Your tongue brushing against his, how he can feel himself and you through the sweet taste of your mouth, your skin, the shallow breaths and small whimpers, your hand into his hair… He clings to all of it. Memorizing how you feel, holding the sensations into his mind… his heart.

Bucky feels your hand slipping inside a pocket on his pants before you break the kiss and, without looking at him again, you run past him towards the elevator.

He sighs, bringing his fingers to his lips, as if this way he would make the phantom of your touch last longer… His gaze turns to the city lights when he hears the elevator going down and he places his hands inside his pockets.

His lips turn up in a longing smile, already missing the touch of yours, while his fingers play absent-mindedly with the piece of lace he finds inside his pocket.

He knows it would all come eventually, the sorrow, the guilt, the heartache. The pain. But at that moment, all he feels is you…

You….

His girl.

~~~~~~

The end.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x steve rogers x reader #angs #bucky barnes series #cheating #angst #bucky angst

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colehasapen · 3 years

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(CHAPTER 5) there's a river full of memory STAR WARS

First // Previous

Time Travel.

Theoretically, Obi-Wan had known it was possible; that in the Force time and space didn’t exist as he knew it. The Force is in everything, no matter the time or place, and could thus be anywhere. Through the Force, they could see the past, the present, and the future, so who was to say that they couldn’t also touch those times? Why wouldn’t they be able to interact with a time different than their own?

He knew it could be possible, but a part of him hadn’t ever believed that he would be the one to be thrown into the future. He’s just an Initiate - and Initiate that flunked out at that, who had been sent away before his thirteenth birthday because it was just that obvious to the masters that he didn’t have what it took to be a Jedi. He had gotten himself caught and sold into slavery, and he’d thought that he was going to die down in that mine. He thought he would die in the dark, with a bomb collar heavy around his neck, but instead he had been thrown twenty five years into the future, surrounded by dozens of identical faces that each had a different signature in the Force; signatures that also have familiar imprints on their souls. Every single trooper - cloned soldiers serving the Republic in a war against droids, with Jedi as their Generals; it horrifies Obi-Wan - they’re all saturated with Obi-Wan’s own Force signature.

Some, like Commander Cody, more so than others. They all know Obi-Wan, they all care for him, and he can’t understand how, or what happened to put him here of all places, when the masters had all come to the conclusion that Obi-Wan was so ill-suited to the life of a Jedi that they hadn’t even consulted him over his placement into the corps. The clones are all so bright in the Force, their emotions warm, and it chases away the chill of the Darkside that has settled into Obi-Wan’s bones. They’re angry too, aggressive and grieving, but somehow they stay Light, it makes him wonder if he could be the same.

Then the Darkness had returned, an open wound in the Force that cried of slaughtered innocents and hatred, and Obi-Wan, scared and remembering Xanatos, had fled. He’d climbed into the vent, and tried to get as far away as possible, mind a foggy mess of panic, and he’d found himself heading towards the Lightest part of the ship. It’s a bedroom, filled with small plants, datapads, and the smell of tea, with armour racks in the corner and cloaks scattered around like blankets. There was so much love pressed into every crevice of the quarters.

It was there, surrounded by Light and Love, that Commander Cody had found him. He’d been curled up under a heavy Master’s cloak that had his own signature woven into the wool. Commander Cody, who’s own signature was imprinted into the room just as heavily as his own.

He would mean something to Obi-Wan, something important and loving and warm, in the future. Him and someone else. Obi-Wan’s future self had loved them, he had loved them so much that Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to do with himself - Force, no wonder Commander Cody had flinched the first time Obi-Wan had reached out to him, leaking pain into the Force. Their love for him too, it all saturated every molecule of the room. Commander Cody, who Obi-Wan’s future self loved and trusted, is the one to find him, to coax him out and into his arms, and Obi-Wan had gone willingly. He thinks he can understand why his future self loved him so much; his warmth sinks into his bones. Cody was good at chasing away the cold.

Obi-Wan had curled up against Commander Cody’s chest as he’d promised that he was safe. He had soaked up his Light until he started feeling like himself again and couldn’t feel the Dark anymore, and he wished he had known Cody before. What could his life been like if he had known Cody when they were both children?

And then the Force had exploded around him in a blinding swirl of colours and emotions, and he’d barely been able to hear Cody’s voice.

Now, Obi-Wan sits in the infirmary once more, the cloak still held in his hands, but this time there’s another small shape tucked into his side, and Pace and Patchwork flutter around them, their eyes drilling into them. Shock is heavy in the air, but Obi-Wan’s attention is solely on the younger boy curled into his side and watching the room with suspicious eyes.

It’s Cody - or at least it was Cody.

Was going to be Cody?

Force, this is all so confusing.

He’s smaller than Obi-Wan now, younger too, with chubby round cheeks unmarked by the curving scar that Commander Cody had once worn. His hair is lighter too, fluffy and dark brown instead of the carefully controlled black haircut Obi-Wan had grown used to, but he still finds himself absently petting at the curls as Cody’s unease continues to grow the longer he’s in this strange place. Cody had decided that Obi-Wan was the safest thing in the room, and had tucked himself under future-Obi-Wan’s robe with him, curling one hand in Obi-Wan’s borrowed shirt.

“It’s okay, Cody.” Obi-Wan soothes, reaching out with the Force to brush against Cody’s mind like he would his crechemates after a bad dream, and the smaller boy seems to sink further against him. It’s easy for Obi-Wan to fall back on these instincts he'd developed as one of the older Initiates in his Clan. “Pace and Patch won’t hurt you.”

Cody scowls at the two medics, dark eyes nervous like a skittish Tooku kit, “But they’re not my medic.” The younger boy says pointedly, distress ballooning in his signature once more. “I want Baar - he’s mine. Alpha says I can trust him.”

Obi-Wan doesn't know either of those people, but he gets a flash of a memory from the other boy, of another clone’s voice telling him that ‘Baar will keep his mouth shut, Kote, you can trust him’.

“What’s the last thing you remember, cadet?” Pace asks, carefully out of range of any attack Cody might throw at him, and Obi-Wan doesn’t really blame him, not after Cody had panicked the first time Patchwork had approached him and had kicked the medic hard enough to break his nose.

Cody is quiet for a long moment, Force signature rolling with fear, and one quivering hand wraps around Obi-Wan’s own like a lifeline. Obi-Wan gets a sudden overwhelming feeling of I’msorry/forgiveme/fear/fear/fear/Ihatethem before Cody speaks, voice dull. “Something went wrong, didn’t it?” He asks quietly, words deadened and eyes flat. “I wasn’t supposed to remember. No one does.” He shakes against Obi-Wan’s side, and the young redhead squeezes his small but callused hand in his own. The two medics have gone quiet and still, and Obi-Wan can feel their muffled horror in the Force around them. “I was in the labs-”

Obi-Wan stiffens, head swinging towards the door, fear rising up again.

He made a mistake; so distracted by Cody, he had forgotten about the Dark wound in the Force that was on board the ship. He’d forgotten, and now everyone is in danger, because of him.

Master Jinn was right, Obi-Wan is a terrible Jedi.

Cody’s voice cuts off as Obi-Wan shifts, pushing the younger boy behind him. The former Jedi stares at the door, wishing desperately that he had a weapon he could defend his new friend with, but his training saber had been left behind at the Temple, his kyber crystal as well. He doesn’t want to see anyone hurt by a Darksider again, not if he could stop it. He had seen all those enslaved people on Bandomeer, he had seen the pain Darksiders could cause; he didn't want anyone to get hurt, not Cody, not Pace, not Patchwork. No one on this ship. He’s not a Jedi, he never will be, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t defend innocents from suffering.

He’d die to protect them if he has to.

“Obi-Wan?” Pace probes, signature worried, but Obi-Wan doesn’t tear his eyes off the door, gathering the Force around him, ready to fight if he needs to.

“Get away from the door.” He says sharply, and the two medics instinctively obey, stepping back and positioning themselves between the younglings and the only way in or out of the private medical room. He pushes Cody further behind him, shifting into a crouch, feeling the Dark signature moving closer and closer.

The door opens, and Obi-Wan falters slightly when it’s Waxer who steps through, his kind eyes dark with worry and honing in on Obi-Wan and Cody immediately. Pace and Patchwork are relaxing, but Obi-Wan’s eyes are sliding past the familiar clone, to land on the darkly clad figure at his shoulder.

Heart hammering in his chest, Obi-Wan can only stare in horror as the cause of the cold Darkness steps into the room.

Taglist: @a-mediocre-succulent @yellowisharo

#cole writes #swtcw fanfiction #codywan #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #memory verse #time travel #de aging

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silvia7272 · 4 years

Text

9 ~ Revelations Revealed

Hey guys. I can’t believe how many notes I have on My Cardigan Story. It's truly amazing and I love you guys so much thank you. I hope you’ll enjoy today's chapter, and I hope you’ll understand some points I make and whether or not you like it is completely up to you.

I’m going to Headcanons that the Kwami’s can’t see what their holders do once they transform, however, I do think some of their personality does get passed onto them when they do transform. Marinette becomes confident and strong like Tikki, Chat Noir is playful and funny like Plagg, I always thought they matched once they transformed.

Word Count: 3249

Also, how would people feel about having 3 in 1 fics? So, I’ll put 3 fic stories in one post, that way there's more content to enjoy, around the same length as the others and it may but just a little bit of filler so you can enjoy more interactions. They may seem less important so I think the 3 in 1 fics will be canon but not as relevant, if an idea has it's on fic, it's important/I wanted to expand on it.

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue , @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck, @themotherofhogwarts, @more-or-less-human-i-guess, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

***

“Marinette how could you?” Uggh this again? Could they not give it a rest? This was the same routine Marinette had been living by before Chloé and Rosina entered the picture. It didn’t matter what she did, Lila would be persistent about making the class hate her, even though she had accomplished it she still wanted that hatred to be directed towards someone.

She just so happened to be that someone.

If she said the truth, she was of course lying.

If she denied, she was lying.

If she did anything, she was lying.

And god was she sick of it. Couldn’t they see Lila was just spinning so many tales to grab their attention it was unbelievable?

But she couldn’t do anything else.

Because it still hurt so much.

And she couldn’t tell anyone.

“I didn’t do that, she’s lying.” But of course, they all rolled their eyes at her. Lila was ‘hysterically sobbing’ into the arms of Mylène, they never saw the smirk the brunette gave her.

And they just believed her. With no evidence to back it up.

Man did it make her mad.

She also didn’t miss the disappointed look Adrien had given her, but she was quickly able to go back to her friends and act as if nothing had happened.

Because she had to.

If she continued being angry, then she would get Akumatized.

The day she was nearly expelled was close enough, she could never let something like that happen.

So, she thought the best option was to bottle everything inside.

But she remembered how it all came crashing down on her when Rosina let her enter that Trinklet world. She knew it was bad when she had cried for a long time, she didn’t know how long due to the no time concept, but it must’ve been awhile.

And yet she still bottled everything in. How else was she meant to deal with it?

“Maaaaaaaari? Are you ok there? You’ve been spacing out?” A hand was waved in front of her face as she blinked out of her stupor.

“I’m fine, I’ve just had a lot on my mind, I’m fine really, hahaha” She was trying to play it off as cool and hoped the other two wouldn’t notice.

“You really need to learn how to relax Marinette. I’ll plan a spa day for us all” Marinette had to stop the blonde from pressing anything.

“Nonono, Chloé really it's fine, I’m almost done anyway” She laughed nervously. And it played out like the day usually did.

The day ended and they went home, she ignored that feeling of eyes upon her as Rosina bounced along beside her.

She ignored the feeling of eyes upon her as she was nearing her house with Rosina looking around.

She ignored the cold hard stare in front of her as she bumped into Rosina who had halted midstep… And stopped bouncing.

“Rosina? What's wrong, is everything-”

“Aunty!” Rosina leapt and hugged the tiny woman in front of her.

“Amoretto! Cease this public display of affection!”

Whack

“Sorry, but I haven’t seen you for so long. And I have so much to tell you. Marinette’s been great, she’s my first ever friend here, and I’ve made other friends as well and-” Franchezca put her arm up to stop the young girl from retelling her everything the girl deemed necessary.

“That’s all very good, however, there are some important matters I have to dish out. To Miss Dupain-Cheng. Alone” the girls widened their eyes.

That did not seem good.

“Wha-What? Why?”

“We can discuss that privately, now let’s get going… You’ll soon learn that I can be a very impatient person” She slowly walked out and before Marinette could even process what was happening she felt as if she was being pushed.

“Whoa whoa whoa, Rosina stop pushing I’m gonna-”

She fell.

“I’m so sorry Mari. It's just that, it must be really urgent if Aunty wants to talk to you” As much as Marinette wanted to deny seeing her, she was vaguely curious.

“But, why not bring you along? You haven’t seen her in weeks” The redhead shrugged.

“I don’t mind, she’s always like this, but you better get going. She really hates waiting” Marinette nodded before running off, knowing Rosina would make an excuse to her parents.

She didn’t know why the former Ladybug holder wanted to have a word with her, but she did grow with slight nervousness with each passing moment.

“Finally you made it, next time I ask to meet you, it should be quicker” Marinette huffed before glaring. She was talking to her niece, why was she so grumpy anyway?

Before she could ask, a light was forming around the older woman. She was shocked, that was the same thing Rosina had! They both had one?

“Ladybug! Hurry up and come hither” She stepped inside this light and disappeared.

“Don’t say that so loud!” She followed before disappearing as well, luckily no audience was watching them.

***

“Where are we?” This was not like Rosina’s Trinklet. Hers was a lot more peaceful and fuller of nature. This had tons of doors on either side of them when looking around it seemed very narrow, like a never-ending office. But it seemed that Hernandez knew where she was going, heading towards a certain red door.

She opened the door and the blue-haired girl walked in.

“What is this place?” Looking around all the girl saw was darkness, except for a large white light in the middle of the room.

“We’re going to take a trip down memory lane. Now look deep into it” Franchezca commanded. Marinette rolled her eyes at this order but proceeded, she really wished she wasn’t going to be treated like this, but she looked deep into the light, ready for whatever she was about to face.

She didn’t expect to see Alya of all people.

“He cannot be allowed to hear that message Alya, if he does I’ll die of shame” This was the past, how was that possible?

“Okay okay, I got an idea. If Adrien’s phone went to voicemail it means the dudes busy, which also means you can get to it before he does” Back when they were friends. This was the day Theo made that statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir.

The past Marinette excitedly ran and pulled down the traced schedule of Adrien’s life went into…

It flashed from event to event, from stealing Adrien’s phone to abandoning Paris, being rude to André and planning to gate-crash Kagami’s chance of being near Adrien. Once she had lost all her friends to Lila, she was able to recognise that this behaviour was unacceptable and extremely creepy, she regretted it as she realised her jealousy got the better of her when it came to Adrien. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if meeting Rosina a year ago would let her be sane, her being so close to Adrien and all, would she have blown up at her? She didn’t want to think about it anymore, that was the past and she was living in the present. Sure, she was younger, but that wasn’t an excuse for her behaviour. At least she was learning as she swore, she would never do it again.

“These are the mistakes you have made Ladybug. And you need to recognise everything you’ve done from past to present. You need to understand your actions aren’t always right.” A red dot immediately zoomed out and came into view of Franchezca’s face.

“Marinette may have made some mistakes in the past but she’s acknowledged them and became better and! -” A hand shushed her before she could continue.

“I’m not finished yet, bug. And do not interrupt me again” They glared before Tikki reluctantly flew back to the blue-haired girl.

She muttered a sorry before flying back into the girl's purse.

“You’ve continued this even, you stole the boy's phone, read other letters, rude to people when you were upset-”

“Hey so are you!”

“I have a reason.”

“You don’t treat the Chat Noir as your partner, more like a sidekick, although that I can’t reprehend you on that, all Chat Noir’s are sidekicks, a Ladybug holder has more power than Chat Noir.” Marinette would’ve interrupted but she was silenced by yet another glare.

“All of your past mistakes are there, written in black and white, are here for you to see”

“But I’ve changed since then, I’m not friends with any of them, I even learnt to forgive my bully. I have new friends that I can trust not let me do that anymore. Your Niece helped me a lot Mlle Hernandez, and I thank her a lot, so I don’t understand what I need to do?!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she was really struggling to comprehend the solution, if there was any solution in fact.

“You still keep all of that anger and regret inside of you” Marinette widened her eyes. She… Does?

“I don’t blame you for not recognising the symptoms, or anyone else for not noticing. You put on a mask to make sure you don’t seem hurt, but you are. And that negative emotion is going to eat you up until either you explode or an Akuma gets a hold of you. And I seriously doubt you’d want that to happen.” She nodded, still trying to process the new information handed to her.

“And you need to let that go”

“Huh?”

“Do you want to end up cold and bitter, like me? You are young, still young, you children make stupid decisions all the time, because it’s a part of life, and first-hand experience is the best way to learn. It's up to you if you want to forgive or forget, but don’t harbour any negative emotions towards your past. So, let it go”

“Why are you giving me this advice? Don’t you hate me?” Marinette retaliated.

“What reason would I specifically hate a 14-year-old girl? I hate everyone equally so don’t flatter yourself. Even if I still don’t agree you should be Ladybug, you also shouldn’t burden yourself and ask for help once in a while, you don’t need to only rely on yourself. This is meant in and out of battle, so remember that you aren’t alone, you have your sidekick after all”

So, she just wanted to help? That seemed completely out of character for someone like her, but Marinette guessed that since she didn’t know her like Rosina, it wouldn’t be fair to make that judgement.

Plus, it was true, even if Marinette didn’t want to admit it. She was still taking her time with asking for help from others, normally she would gladly take on all the work whenever her friends asked for anything, or she would offer to make banners for Alix whenever she had a race, or help out in the art room whenever she was free, and she only noticed how unhealthy that was, she was desperately clinging onto her friends now since she didn’t want to be abandoned again.

Maybe she did need some help?

“Thank you, Mlle Hernandez, I get it now. I’ll learn to let my anger go and focus on my future” The older woman was about to respond but Marinette beat her to it, she smirked inwardly as well.

“But I’m also determined to prove to you that I am a good Ladybug, even if you don’t think so. Maybe not now, but I swear in the future I will prove you wrong, and I won’t fail Paris. With my friends, we will defend Paris and defeat Hawkmoth”

Ding

Franchezca felt something, or technically saw something, a silhouette of Rosina behind her, smiling like she always would be.

She grinned, that determination was contagious, she knew that feeling all too well.

“Very well, Ladybug. Prove me wrong, but prove yourself right before that” She turned on her heel as Marinette and Tikki hugged another.

“That was awesome Marinette, you were so confident”

“Thanks, Tikki. It may have been tough, but she just wanted me to understand I guess” They would’ve continued if not hearing a voice.

“Well, Ladybug? If you want to prove to me that you’re serious then we need to get you out of that ridiculous level 1 costume, it’s a disgrace to all fashion designers. Kwami, have you really not informed you're chosen of the levels?” Tikki shot out again, she was still angry with Franchezca with that comment about Chat Noir.

“You know as well as I do that there are too many power-ups to explain all at once. We still have so much to clarify, I didn’t want to overwhelm her.”

“…What?”

Something told Marinette she would be staying here for a loooong time.

***

There was a lot to discuss yesterday.

And the cold hard truth was exactly that, cold, hard, and straight to the point. It may not be exactly what the blue-eyed girl wanted to hear, but she was glad to hear it now than later, in the midst of battle.

If R-

“Marinette!”

Uggh, here we go again.

“Yes?” It was coming. Any minute now.

“Care to explain why you sent horrible texts to Lila yesterday, especially after we confronted you, if this is because we found out your true colours then say it to us don’t be mean to Lila!” God damn, they were so ignorant of everything, she just wanted to-

Wait. This is exactly the same routine, and yes, she couldn’t stand it, but it was her life.

And she was going to change that routine.

“Fine…”

“How da- wait, what?” Even Lila seemed surprised, she was normally meant to fight and prove her innocence, not cave over immediately. What happened?

“I said fine, I promise not to text Lila, even though I don’t have her phone number, ever again. And I don’t know why she keeps bringing me up in conversation. But you can go back and forget about me and I’ll promise never to talk to her or text her ever. I really don’t care, I have plans with my friends anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom. But seriously, just please tell her not to drag me into her fallouts, I don’t care about any of that stuff.” She wanted to laugh but had to hold it in as she passed them all and walked straight into the restroom. Once she sat in a cubicle the red Kwami flew out of her purse.

“That was great Marinette. Franchezca’s advice really helped.”

“Mhmm, yeah I guess she really was right. After I let go, I feel calmer and happier, plus I have more free time now, unless an Akuma comes obviously, but, I sorta feel… Better”

“That’s wonderful Mari-” They heard the door open so Tikki covered her mouth and whizzed back inside Marinette’s purse.

Marinette was unsure who it would be, but for all she knew it might be someone completely random, or someone she didn’t know.

There was no way to- it was Lila.

Marinette would’ve glared but soon remembered to let it go, huh that reminded her of Frozen, maybe she should watch that with Rosina some tim-

“You seem different, finally grew a backbone?” She instigated.

‘Just ignore her Marinette, she isn’t worth your time anymore’ She continued washing her hands, not daring to look in the mirror to see those green devilish eyes at all.

“It doesn’t matter, I swear I will make sure your empire will crumble, I can be very persuasive-”

“That’s nice” That slipped out, but she wasn’t really paying all that much attention anyway. She wanted to get back to her friends. Chloé still booked that spa day, and even though she was against the idea at first, she was excited to see what that would entail.

“-And your new friends will leave you”

Crack

Marinette should’ve ignored it. She knew Lila was just trying to get under her skin. But it was so hard, and this was only the first day.

“Aww, Mari~” The brunette mocked, using the same tone Rosina would use.

“I’m sure they are nice people, but I can be nicer, and they will leave you. Don’t take it too harshly I’m just stating facts”

“Stop”

“What? Sorry didn’t hear you, does the little mouse finally talk?” Lila laughed whipping her hair, about to make an exit.

“I don’t care”

That stopped Lila.

“You don’t care about your friends, oh my looks like you’ve been lying this entire time”

“Stop, just please stop, I don’t care anymore just stay with your other friends, will you? I don’t care that you’re lying, I don’t even care that Adrien knows. Just leave me alone will you? You’re so annoying.” And she walked off, she needed to chill and have some time pass before going to find Rosina and Chloé.

Maybe she could ask Rosina to take her to that opposite world again? She wondered if she could research some relaxation techniques to use, maybe some meditation?

She was sure to write everything down, that would surely calm her.

She didn’t care about the look a pair of green eyes were giving her.

She was starting to become happier. A sudden weight was lifted off her shoulders.

Besides, she had a meeting with Chat and Crisono later that day.

***

“Where is she? Ohh Bugaboo? Where are you?” The message Chat received didn’t scream urgency, but he couldn’t help but feel he had been duped into coming here as a prank.

“Chat quit it with the names already” He heard her voice before he heard her feet land on the ground, strange, he should’ve heard her the other way around.

She was getting better at sneaking up on people.

“Aww, but you know you love my names secretly buga-” He paused.

No longer was he staring at a pigtailed heroine that had captured his heart, no, he was staring at a new Ladybug.

It was the same Ladybug, of course, the voice matched, and he knew she wouldn’t just quit out of nowhere.

But it was different, she was different. Her outfit had changed a lot, she had black gloves and boots with red spots, and an overall that seemed to be covering her bodysuit, and her hair, it was no longer tied up, but down, two pieces of hair tied up.

“Ladybug, you- you’ve… You changed outfits? How? You look even more amazing” She blushed, ahh a sign from the heavens, be still his beating heart, he couldn’t contain his excitement. What made her want to change outfits he wondered?

“Thanks for noticing Kitty, I found out an awful lot about the Miraculous’ yesterday.” Chat slightly narrowed his eyes, here we go again, another secret he can’t be apart off, he should’ve guessed.

“And there's something I need to tell you. But you can’t tell Crisono. She’ll be here any minute now and I’d prefer if she didn’t overhear.”

“What is it?” He would just have to hope she’ll tell him later; they were partners after all. Besides, Crisono was his friend, he had to make sure it was something alright, but by the way his Lady was looking, it didn’t seem to be too pleasant.

She took a deep breath. And he could still remember how everything fell silent.

“The Miraculous cure doesn’t work on Crisono, if she dies, she dies”

***

Huh, this became more of a life lesson than saltiness. Although I still stand by Franchezca, children make stupid mistakes and decisions all the time, and even if I do simply love all ML Salt, I know it's exaggerated and fanon, and that’s alright, we’re able to take a fictional show and write how we interpret it ourselves, because it's not real, and that’s alright, it's real to us and that can be enough. Although I should clarify that this isn’t taking the higher ground, at least I don’t think so, just that Marinette is choosing to forget about them and live her own life, while they choose to either dwell on unimportant matters. Marinette wants to be happy, and if that means choosing to cut her old friends off then so be it. Hope that makes sense.

(Sorry turned sappy there) Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one should be Piper, unless I get writer's block and do a bunch of 3 in 1 fics, or even some drawings, (I’ve done one of a character not yet shown in the fanfic, feel free to guess) Annnnnnnnd I’ve sorted names and Kwami’s to all the friends, I’m really excited to show them and for myself, to draw them, I went into detail about what I want in my book so I really can’t wait until they’re released. I’m so excited.

Ladybugs costume will be uploaded right after this hopefully, last time I had too many problems to count.

So, stay tuned next time, Cya. Hopefully, the next one will be longer, just wanted to get this out of the way.

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kidneys4karev · 4 years

Note

max n mike, prompt 3 in list 2 :giggle:

Stranger Things - Mike & Max

Okay, but first, kiss me.

TW - underaged drinking, alcohol

Claire Laurence's parties were notorious amongst the residences of Hawkins High, and that wasn't for no good reason. Her parents were almost always out of town, though that hardly seemed to matter. They were the main alcohol suppliers, which Claire's house had plenty of, and never tried to stop her if they came home early. Of course, the events weren't as legendary as Steve's- despite the town's brief fascination with Billy Hargrove, Steve was still something of myths.

So, second only to Steve Harrington, Claire's parties were something many students wished to obtain invites to, whether by status, by way of a friend, or from Claire herself. It was uncommon for anyone deemed too far below her in the Hawkins hierarchy to attend, or even people in the grade below.

Yet it was no surprise that Max Mayfield found herself in the middle of one that Saturday night.

From the very first day of her freshman year, the seniors had always liked her. At fourteen, she remained one of the few in her grade to attend a senior party, and that stuck until her junior year. Back then, he hadn't been so healthy, using alcohol and parties as a way to forget what was going on at home, or the traumatic events she'd witnessed in the mere year she'd been there. That, well, still stood to date- Max had never been one to develop many healthy coping mechanisms.

The only one who ever followed her was Mike Wheeler, something of a surprise to most people. The two had got off to a rocky start, fighting for the sake of fighting, loyal, yet extremely stubborn personalities clashing catastrophically. Now, they weren't so bad. Sure, they fought every other hour, had petty arguments over things as trivial as the last cookie or what to do after school, but they had each other's backs. Max hated his guts, and vice versa, but they'd go down swinging for each other if need be.

For a few months, Dustin and Lucas had tagged along to the parties too, but they never quite enjoyed the experience like Max did. Dustin was too nervous to drink, and Lucas had designated himself group mother by default, far too concerned about making sure Mike didn't pass out by the side of the road to occupy himself with alcohol. So, eventually, their group of four dwindled down to two.

Max didn't care, anyway. She didn't need a babysitter.

That was where they found themselves today, Claire's house, music blaring, no doubt echoing all the way down the street to tired, yet familiar neighbours. Mike leant against the wall, watching from the sidelines. Max had disappeared to God knows where, likely to dance or find some alcohol, though he really had no idea. He could barely ever keep up with the girl.

Speaking of keeping up, he sipped his drink gingerly, grimacing as he did so. After years of practise, he still wasn't used to the taste, the burning sensation down his throat, no matter how much cola he mixed into it. Really, he was mostly drinking it so that Max didn't win. They always had this unspoken bet since the very first time they'd done this, Max calling him a pussy for being behind, Mike taking shots until he no longer pulled a face. He was too stubborn to lose.

They both were.

Tonight, however, they were taking it slow. They'd only just got there, Max wasn't even tipsy yet, and this was Mike's first drink. Hell, he could still drive at this point- they both could.

Which was why he was a little surprised to see her walking over to him already, no cup in hand.

"Have you had anything to drink yet?" He yelled over the music, straightening up. He towered over her, always had, but now stood around 5'11, compared to her measly 5'3. She hadn't grown since they first met.

Max shook her head. "No, but-"

He cut her off almost immediately, naturally interruptive. Pulling a face, he pushed the drink towards her. "Good. This is disgusting, please take it from me."

"Okay, but first, kiss me."

There was a sense of certainty and urgency in her voice that threw Mike completely off guard. Up until that point, he had been certain that Max liked girls- come on, the Wonder Woman obsession? The way she looked at El, and her on and off nature with Lucas that ended shortly before high school? To Mike, it had been very obvious.

"Woah, wh- what?" He spluttered, still not recovered from the initial shock. "Are you sure you've not had anything to drink? Because-"

"No!" She cut him off this time, sounding far more frustrated, annoyed at something he just wasn't getting. She lowered her voice, hissing the next part so quietly that Mike had to strain to hear. "You know Ben? From English? He keeps flirting with me and I don't want to- mmhf!"

Mike didn't hesitate beyond that explanation, leaning down to press his lips to hers. They'd been friends long enough that it wasn't really awkward, despite the small crush he may or may not have had on her a couple years prior. It wasn't something he'd ever admit, but he couldn't deny that she was pretty either.

She pulled away, turning around so quickly that her hair whipped Mike in the face. Sure enough, there was Ben, slinking back into the rest of the very drunk crowd. She nodded slowly, waiting to make sure that he was gone, before turning back to Mike.

This time, she fixed him with a glare that would turn most people to stone, were it not for the fact that he was very used to it. Being on the end of such hatred and threat from the smaller redhead was a daily, if not hourly, occurrence.

"We never speak of this again, okay?"

Despite growing accustomed to said glare, Mike readily agreed.

#stranger things #mike wheeler #madwheeler #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #prompt #writing prompts #ask #max mayfield

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alirhi · 3 years

Text

chapter 10

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 10/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable. WARNINGS: not much, really. References to torture, but nothing explicit Notes: as usual, this fic relies heavily on you having seen the Marvel movies (or at least CA:TFA, CA:CW, Thor, and The Avengers, so far) but like... why would you be reading MCU fanfic if you hadn't seen the MCU? XD

He never would have broken; he just hoped Thanos and his idiot henchmen didn't realize that. The torture he endured probably would have broken Thor in about half the time they'd been at it, but Loki was far stronger than anyone had ever given him credit for. If not for Eira, alone on an alien planet with a complete stranger, Loki probably would have held out indefinitely, just to piss them off. As usual, though, he didn't have time to mess with them or test his own endurance. He had to get to Midgard, collect his daughter and her father regardless of Bucky's feelings on the subject, and disappear.

So he pretended to break. He held out for a while for show, and then folded like a poorly constructed house of cards. Thanos – not a very trusting lad, that one – insisted on worming into Loki's mind with that damned scepter, and he had to let him, to convince him that the God of Mischief was truly under his thumb.

It was the most unpleasant sensation, having the energy of that thing wiggling through his brain. He did his best to keep it at bay, only letting the stone in the scepter into the very edge of his mind, but it still felt like a swarm of beetles crawling around under his skull. It, and the energy required to keep it from taking over or to keep himself from shaking it off entirely, left him exhausted and disoriented.

You will have your moment of glory, Thanos had told him with a smirk as he handed Loki the scepter. Just serve your purpose and bring me what's mine.

"I am Loki of Asgard," he announced to the humans between him and that damned cube, "and I am burdened with glorious purpose." They didn't catch the bitter sarcasm in his tone, but that was alright. He hadn't expected them to.

"Loki?" Why did this old man look so familiar? "Brother of Thor?"

Loki just barely stopped himself from gagging, and scoffed instead. Of course. This was one of Thor's little human friends. Well, at least he could have a bit of fun while he was here; he touched the tip of the scepter to Selveig's chest and watched the sickly blue light seep into his irises. See how Thor felt when he learned that Loki had made one of his precious human friends his little dancing puppet! It also helped that Selveig was some sort of scientist; he had some working knowledge of the Tesseract, and that would likely come in handy.

He really didn't give a damn about the Tesseract or Thanos' mad mission; still, it was best to keep up appearances until he could find a way to wiggle free of him once and for all. As long as he could feel the scepter's energy slithering around his brain, he knew there was a chance that Thanos, or his creepy underling The Other, could track what he was doing. The only thing worse than playing the obedient servant would be leading them straight back to Bucky and Eira. His best bet was a 'poorly executed' plan to distract Thor and his little band of human misfits.

Pity he had to fight them. He rather liked Banner and Stark. There was one silver lining to all this insanity, though: The redhead. That bloody slag, Natasha. The moment he looked into Barton's mind and saw her, that woman who'd dared put her hands on his Sergeant, he couldn't wait to make her suffer.

Damn. Jealousy truly was the ugliest, most uncomfortable emotion.

It caught him off guard when they sent her in first. As he gleefully informed her, he'd expected some sort of torture first, and then the woman would be sent in as a 'friend', a balm, and he'd be expected to fold and cooperate. None of them knew the depth of his hatred for this woman, so he was sure they didn't expect him to easily resist her 'charms.'

He taunted her for a bit, reveling in the increasing look of horror in her eyes, the way they filled with tears she fought valiantly not to shed, the way she trembled...

"You're a monster!" she whispered as she turned her back to him, still visibly shaking.

Loki chuckled, the insidious little devil in his heart placated by Natasha's apparent distress. "Oh, no," he gloated, at this point just making shit up as he went along. "You brought the monster." Honestly, what did that even mean?

Suddenly steady and clear-eyed, she turned and looked him right in the eye. "So, Banner. That's your play."

"What?" Oh, right. Barton had told him she had a knack for wrangling the beast within Banner; likely, she'd been the one sent to recruit him. Well, that worked out, didn't it?

He pretended to be shocked by her deductive skills until she was out of sight, and then rolled his eyes. Let them give him credit when Banner lost control of the beast in the fray about to come; it hadn't actually been his plan, but he knew it would certainly happen. These misfits were nothing if not predictable.

Maybe he'd luck out and find her mangled corpse somewhere at the end of all this. Surely Bucky wouldn't care, right? They'd only had a chance encounter... Perhaps Loki just wouldn't tell him. Really, was there any reason for him to know this random woman he'd slept with while brainwashed was dead? No, darling, I have no idea what happened to Agent Romanov! None at all. She's a spy, isn't she? Perhaps she disappeared on her own...

Oh, bugger. He was going to have to make sure she survived this, wasn't he? Even as he mocked Thor and tricked him into the glass cage, he was thinking about that bloody redhead. If the Sergeant remembered her, likely Bucky would, as well. Loki had never lied to him before; he certainly wasn't about to start now. Ugh. Guilt was an even worse feeling than jealousy!

Brother safely sequestered from the fight for the time being, Loki set about retrieving the scepter and the Tesseract, and making sure the vessel the fragile humans were on remained intact long enough for Stark and Rogers to get it at least partially functioning again. It was exhausting, trying to keep up the appearance of attempting to kill these people while simultaneously trying to keep them safe.

He could feel the scepter's hold on his mind weakening, thank Frigga, but he didn't dare even think of going to Siberia yet. Until he was free of it completely, without pushing it away himself and alerting Thanos, he didn't dare go anywhere near Bucky. At least he had command of the Chitauri, once he could bring them to Midgard. They would make a delightful distraction for all parties involved, and if he timed things just right, he could even send a few of them to SHIELD headquarters to turn HYDRA into nothing but a lake of blood and bone fragments.

Oh, Stark had made it home. Secretly pleased to see that he was well, Loki smirked – trying desperately to hide his giddy grin – and met him inside. "Please tell me you're going to appeal to my 'humanity,'" he teased, eager for banter with a mind as sharp as his own for the first time since... Well, since before Bucky had been captured and reported killed in action.

"Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you."

"You should've left your armor on for that." This man was adorable. Once all was said and done and they were safe, he wondered if it would be strange to invite Stark over for dinner.

"Yeah." Stark's tone was endearingly dismissive. "It's seen a bit of mileage, and you've got the glowstick of destiny."

Trying not to laugh, Loki glanced down at the scepter. I am never calling it anything else again.

"Would you like a drink?"

He couldn't contain his laughter completely; he really liked Stark. Disguising it as mocking and arrogance, he hastily told him, "Stalling me won't change anything."

"No no no, threatening!" Stark gestured to the impressively stocked bar. "No drink, you sure? I'm having one."

One more second, and he was going to break and crack up. Or hug the man. Either way, it wouldn't look good. Hoping to buy a moment to collect himself, he spun on his heel and moved over to the glass wall overlooking the city.

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." I wish you, Banner, and Thor would just get as far away as possible before they arrive. He turned back to face the other man, hoping the tremor he could hear in his own voice wasn't audible from across the room. "What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers." Loki must have looked as confused as he felt; Stark rolled his eyes and clarified, "That's what we call ourselves; sorta like a team. Earth's mightiest heroes type thing."

"Yes." Loki smirked. "I've me them."

Picking up the mocking in his tone, Stark chuckled. "Yeah, takes us a while to gain any traction, I'll give you that one. But... Let's do a headcount, here. Your brother, the demi-God-"

Adoptive brother, he wanted to snap as he scoffed and turned away, and barely that!

"A super soldier, a living legend who kinda lives up to the legend... A man with breathtaking anger management issues..."

Loki couldn't help grinning at that description. He liked Banner quite a bit, and the mindless green beast was an endless source of entertainment.

"A couple of master assassins," Stark continued, pointing at the pacing Trickster, "and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan."

That's because you don't know what the plan was for. He grinned, but his mirth was short-lived as Stark calmly made his way around the bar and approached him.

"When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

He'd thought of that, but still hadn't thought his way out of it quite yet. "I have an army," was all he could think to say.

"We have a Hulk."

"Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off." He'd likely return, of course, but hopefully in time only to slow the Chitauri, not to capture Loki.

He didn't want to, but as the conversation went on he realized he didn't have much of a choice. Hoping it wouldn't do any lasting damage to that beautiful brain of his, he touched the scepter to Stark's chest... and nothing happened. Confused, he tried again. Still nothing, and now Stark's witty retorts were just grating on him. Spotting the cuffs he hadn't been wearing before and assuming they were some sort of tech, he decided to just vent his frustrations the old fashioned way. With a growl, he lifted Stark by the throat and threw him out a window.

Sure enough, something shot out the hole in the glass after him, and within seconds, Stark appeared in a new suit. Good. At least Loki had managed to vent a little anger without actually harming one of the few humans he respected.

The knock to the head he received when he was blasted back a few seconds later was enough to finally dislodge the energy of the scepter fully. He'd have heaved a sigh of relief if the Tesseract hadn't chosen that exact moment to finally tear open the space above the tower and let the Chitauri through. Unleashing Hell on an unsuspecting city miles from even the closest of his actual targets had never exactly been his favorite plan, but it seemed that was the only one that was actually going to play out.

As usual, even his hated backup plan didn't end the way he'd hoped. By the end of the afternoon, two things were quite clear to Loki: One, he was going to have to take a breather and then find a way to disappear once he was healed.

And two, he didn't much like Banner anymore.

_____________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

#fanfic #loki #mcu #avengers #captain america #bucky barnes #tony stark #iron man #m/m #loki/bucky #reference to buckynat #tom hiddleston #sebastian stan #winter's frost

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swellwriting · 5 years

Text

Hopelessly Devoted

Fandom: Harry Potter (Marauder Era)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Request: From @theseuscmander : putting in a formal request because I only said this through the discord group chat but can I get an angsty James potter fic based off the song ‘hopelessly devoted to you’ you can decide if the ending is fluffy or just sad lmao but pls

Warnings: None

A/N: THIS was supposed to be James fic but I fucked up, I think I was also a bit too obvious about my crush on Lily Evans...ignore my apparent gushing over her perfection.

Word Count: 6k

Lily Evans, even her name sounded beautiful, so much as her vibrant red hair, her freckled cheeks and kind heart. One of the smartest and hardest working girls in your year. A brave Gryffindor, she looked good in the bold coloured clothes she adorned, red fabric complimenting her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes.

If anyone knew what you thought of Lily Evans they would assume you had a crush on her. Instead, your heart is stuck on the boy on the other side of the room, staring at her just as intently as you are.

You don't stare at her with hatred burning behind your eyes or jealousy in your veins, you stare at her with the same adoration that James does.

For what does she have that you don't, what makes her seem so perfect, ethereal. And how could you ever expect to achieve that? To stand out when your competition is her.

To say it’s a competition is actually a joke when you think about it because there isn’t one, she has already won, even if she doesn't choose to rejoice in her victory. The owner of James Potter’s heart, yet she holds it so carelessly, wishes she could throw it away, acts like she is burdened by it.

The audacity, the one thing you don't like about Lily is that she doesn't appreciate James for who he is, she doesn't even give him a chance. If she knew him as you did, the real him, the one that’s grown far past the brat of past years. She would feel the same tightening in her chest when his skin brushed hers, as you did, her heartbeat would be loud in her ears when he spoke her name. She would close her eye and see his bright smile and hear his stupid contagious laugh just like you do, like you’re cursed with every night as you lay in bed and think about him.

It’s not fair really. She has it all. Well, no one’s life is perfect but she has those cool girlfriends you wish you had, she has long pretty hair and this look that’s purely her own. You wish you could be her for countless reasons.

A hand brushes your shoulder taking you out of your thoughts as you watch the girls leave the classroom in the giggly group, going to do whatever girls like them do. You turn to face Sirius who has grabbed your books for you already and is gesturing towards the other boys who are walking out the door.

“Let’s go, unless you enjoy History of Magic so much you can’t bear to leave!” He jokes and you laugh lightly hitting his arm and following him out the door.

The boys fall into quick conversation and you tune them out trying to listen to the girls talking ahead of you.

Marlene is gushing about some Ravenclaw boy who was flirting with her last night, they have their arms intertwined as they walk, a peppy skip to their steps.

It’s not that you don't enjoy being friends with the Marauders, but you wished you had some girlfriends too. It’d be nice to be able to talk to someone about your crush on James, someone who could talk sense into you, or give you any advice.

“Is there a reason you are both staring down Lily Evans like that?” Remus asks when he notices you and James are both silent staring ahead in a trance at the redhead as she bounces down the hallway.

“I think maybe Y/n has a crush on Lily too,” Sirius jokes and you roll your eyes.

“Nah, Y/n is a good friend, she would never steal my girlfriend.” James teases and wraps an arm around your shoulders, playfully pulling you against him as you walk down the hallway.

“In your dreams Prongs,” Peter yells with a bountiful laugh and you try to laugh along, force a fake giggle past your lips. Try not to bring any attention to you, or your hot and awkward face.

Trying to act like your heart didn’t crack from hearing those words. Calling you a friend and Lily his girlfriend all in one sentence.

Even if he wasn’t interested in Lily you are sure he would still be stuck viewing you only as a friend, another Marauder, nothing more nothing less.

“She will be soon, I'm asking her to Hogsmeade this weekend!” James announces proudly and your heart stops.

“Yeah because that’s worked so well before,” Remus jabs.

“She has to say yes eventually, it’s our last year here, she’s about to miss her chances with me.”

“I think she may be thankful for that,” Remus counters.

He’s asked her out before, and you just have to hope that she says no again. But James is different this year, he’s matured a lot and if you noticed then Lily will soon notice to. It sounds like a bad thing to say about a friend, but you hope she says no, you hope that he messes it up like he usually does.

You have Advanced Arithmancy Studies this year with Remus, a class you both regret taking but you always do all of the homework and studying together to make it easier.

The library is pretty vacant and you Remus are studying in a far empty corner. Sirius is sat beside you, not studying but keeping you both company, and possibly keeping you from going mad as well. His lighthearted jokes and easygoing attitude are quite calming to have around.

“I just read this page over and over again and nothing retains, it’s like it’s not even English,” you complain.

Remus flips his book to you, his page is marked lightly with a pencil, “read it in sections like this, makes it easier to...digest.”

“We are eating our books now?” Sirius makes the dumb joke and moves closer to you, reading the page at the same time as if he could help you understand it.

You read a few lines in before Sirius’ joke makes its way to your tired mind and you let out a laugh, muffle it behind your hands then rest your forehead on the wooden table in defeat.

“I'm done for today, I've given up,” You say a moment later, sitting back up and closing your books, still bringing a hand to your forehead.

“You’re done studying but you still look just as stressed,” Remus asks, still writing notes, looking up and down between you and the page in front of him.

Your silent for a moment, not sure if you want to reveal your plan to your friends, shock them with the revelation of your feelings towards your friend. But it’s like jumping into a pool you know is cold, it’s easier if you do it all at once, quickly, so you spit out the words before your brain can stop you.

“I'm going to ask James to Hogsmeade,” you blurt out and both boys look at you with confused expressions.

“He’s asking Lily is he not?” Remus asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Not if I ask him first!” You say confidently, though it’s all a facade.

“Why would you do that?” Remus asks again, clearly not understanding what you’re implying.

“Because I’ve been in love with him since second year?” You say like a question, a nervous pitch to your voice.

“No, you haven’t,” Sirus says like it’s a matter of fact as if he doesn't want to believe it.

“What? Yes, I have, just because I hadn’t told anyone doesn't mean I have not had a stupid crush on him for years,” you argue.

“I sort of see it now,” Remus says tilting his head like he’s looking into his memories for clues.

“Obviously I hid my feelings out of fear of ruining our friendship because you guys are my only friends. I wouldn't wanna make things weird between me and James and then lose you guys in the process. But I also don't wanna regret never acting on my feelings before it’s too late.”

“Well you would never lose us, James wouldn't stop being your friend over something so trivial either,” Remus assures you with his warm smile.

Sirius is sat beside you in silence until Remus looks over to him, arching a brow as if to tell him to encourage you but he can’t bring himself to.

“He will say no?” Sirius says and you’re taken aback.

“You don’t know that,” you say sadly, hurt by his words and reaction you didn’t expect.

“He is in love with Lily, he’s obsessed with her,” Sirius says and there is a bite to his voice, a harshness you’re not used to from him.

“Maybe he will see that someone else has feelings for him and it will change his mind, and he needs to move on from Lily anyways. Y/n is beautiful and knows James so well already I think they would be very cute together.” Remus defends, giving this knowing look to Sirius who just stands up abruptly and walks away with his shoulders slumped.

“Maybe I shouldn’t ask James out,” you say to Remus watching Sirius leave.

“Don't let Sirius stop you from doing something your heart is telling you to do.”

“But if Sirius is so upset by it maybe I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if he’s mad because he truly thinks James will say no and doesn't wanna see me hurt. Or maybe he thinks I’m not good enough for James.” You admit sadly, your heart aching at the conflict, you thought Remus and Sirius were good people to talk to. If you had to choose only one of them you would have chosen Sirius.

He is usually so understanding and nice towards you. He has so much experience with girls too, you never stop him from going after a girl in fear that he might get hurt. Why was he being like this to you?

“Just ignore Sirius for right now, if he wants to get over himself and stop being emotional he will come to talk to you, until then, I think James should be leaving the Quiddich pitch anytime now,” he says with an encouraging wave of his hands. and you smile at him, pulling your bag over your shoulder and then leaning down to grab Remus’ hands.

“Thanks, Rem, you’re a really good friend.”

“No problem, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or to celebrate with, you know where to find me,” he says before diving back into his notes.

You find James right where Remus said he would be, leaving the Quidditch change rooms outside the pitch, hair damp from a shower, smelling like mint from his soap.

“Hey, Padfoot!” You say, a bit out of breath.

“Hey, Vix!” He mimics you, using your given nickname since your Animagus was a fox and a female fox is a vixen...so Vix. You really need better less obvious nicknames for your group.

“I have a question,” you say, now more timid, feeling your cheeks heat up and nerves prickle up your spine.

“Shoot!” He says and he has this big goofy smile that you can’t help but love. You might as well be looking at him right now with literal hearts in your eyes.

You take a deep breath and let the words fly out. “Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade, this weekend...with me?”

His smile doesn't falter as he quickly replies, “I told you I was going to ask Lily to Hogsmeade this weekend didn’t I?” He looks clueless about what you’re saying.

“You did, but I thought maybe...you and... I could go?”

“Well, Remus and Peter have essays to work on, so the rest of our friends couldn’t go anyways. We can all go next weekend if you want. If you can make your Honeydukes stash last until then,” he teases and then ruffles your already messy hair as he walks past you.

You stand still, frozen in place. He didn’t really turn you down, but he sort of friend-zoned you… he didn’t understand the weight of your question, brushed you off, the idea of a date with you being so completely out of his mind he hadn’t even realized it was what you were asking.

You swallow your pride, bite your tongue to hold back the tears and bring a hand to your face.

James stops walking and turns around, “Vix? You coming? We are having a Gobstones tournament in the common room remember? If you’re late you won’t get your favourite colour.”

He’s so sweet and kind. You just wished he felt more for you. You wished he could love you the way you do him.

“Vix?” He says again, no hint that he has caught on in his voice, just fun and playful, you can hear in his voice that he’s still smiling from ear to ear behind you.

“I forgot my book in the stands the other day I just… I’ll meet you there.” You choke out without letting the damn in your eyes break, it’s always hard to hold back tears when you have to talk.

“Okay,” he says and you hear him walk away so you make your way to the empty stands. It’s fall and your knitted sweater doesn't do much for the wind that blows between the patterns of yarn. The stands are empty, there are no lights on and night only gets darker and darker as you sit in the back row of the stands, you bring your knees up to your chest and bury your face in your palms.

You feel stupid, hopelessly stupid.

No, your heart is not the first to break, not the first time it’s felt this way from James’ unknowing ignorance towards your feelings. It’s not the first time you have cried for him And not the first time you’ve felt hopeless, like you may never get over him. You might be stuck feeling heartbroken and jealous and unwanted every time you see him.

Your chest is tight and you gasp for air through the tears, you pout and pull the strings in your sweater making you even colder, the tears on your cheeks make your face cool with the breeze and you don't even know what you’re doing.

What will crying in the empty quidditch stands accomplish? You can’t go back to the common room, you don’t want to see James or his stupid face, or messy hair or dorky glasses and goofy smile. You don't want to hear one of his jokes because you know you will laugh, and you don't feel very funny right now.

More than anything you crave the comfort of your bed, the softness of your bedsheets, the quietness of your room. In order to get there, you have to face your friends first. So you stand up, dust off your plaid skirt and pull the sleeves of your sweater over your hands to dry your face. You take a deep breath, even your breathing and then pitifully climb down from the stands and make your sorrow walk to your common room.

Luckily the crisp air of fall can be the blame for your post crying face, allergies to blame for your puffy eyes if anyone asked. You take another deep breath and offer a fake smile to the fat lady as you mumble the password, she gives a concerned sympathetic look in return and opens the door.

The room is light and loud and filled with laughter. Gobstones flying everywhere and intense competition going on. Luckily no one’s attention is brought to you.

Peter and James are playing with determination in their eyes while Remus watches with excitement, book still in hand since he’s trying to multitask. Sirius is nowhere to be seen but other various Gryffindors fill the room. The first years watch the game with stars in their eyes and chant for whoever they want to win.

Lily is sitting beside James, eerily close. You stop walking and stare at them for a moment, it throws you off completely.

You don't know that he’s asked her but something about the way they are sitting tells you that he did. The way she’s sitting closer than she usually does, the way she has this sort of smirk on her face and James keeps looking at her with the widest smile between moves. You can tell she said yes.

Remus is the first and only person to notice you. You could tell him a million lies about fall breezes and allergies and he would still see the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. His smile drops and he goes to get up and walk towards you. You frown and bite your lip hard. Just as Remus reaches you and places his hands on your elbows, your arms crossed in front of you. He cranes his neck down to be eye level with you, but before he can even say a word of comfort or apology the portrait opens blowing air in your face.

Sirius walks in and quickly realizes the scene in front of him. He doesn't have to see your face to know you’re clearly upset and that Remus is trying and failing to comfort you, he sees James and Lily on the couch acting closer than they usually do.

“Remus,” Sirus says, you can tell he’s angry about something but you have no idea what, Remus looks a bit scared for a moment before he faces you again, you interrupt him.

“It’s okay, I'm fine,” you say before you break out of his hold and run up to your room. Remus must have done something to piss Sirius off and you didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s problems right now.

You get into your room and thankfully it’s empty, you only have two roommates. One girl, Florence, is a pureblood, a total bitch who is forever salty that she isn’t in the same room as her friends. And the other girl, is like you, quiet and reserved, you get along well enough and bond over your hatred of Florence.

You crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head and just lay there and cry. What else are you supposed to do, there is nothing. James got the girl of his dreams and she isn’t you, he doesn't want you. Everything you hoped would never happen just did all in one night. Rejection and heartbreak. You pull the curtain around your bed and cast a silencing charm, it will be a while before your tears stop and you aren't in the mood to have to explain yourself to anyone.

Sirius and Remus are still downstairs, Sirius pulled Remus by the loose collar of his oversized sweater and the pushed him into the hall.

“This is your fault,” he says sternly, his face concrete in anger.

“You don't even know what happened yet.”

“It doesn't take a genius to understand. Vix went and asked James out like you stupidly encouraged her to do knowing he would say no.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yes, you did Remus don't play stupid with me. You messed up and you’re too guilty to admit it.”

“Is it such a crime to be nice to our friend.”

“It’s a crime to give her false hope yes. James probably brushed her question off, probably was an ignorant git about it.”

“Well, he probably didn’t understand her feelings were more than platonic.”

“Which we both knew would happen!” Sirius yells and a house-elf that’s dusting a statue shushes them. “James came back here and asked Lily out and by the looks of it she said yes didn’t she?”

“Yeah who saw that coming?” Remus asks trying to change the topic, feeling guiltier by the moment, he knows he messed up and doesn't know how to fix it.

“That part doesn't even matter. You messed this up. You knew that James would never go on a date with Vix.”

“I know you guys had talked about it before but you never said why. I thought maybe once he knew she liked him he would change his mind!”

“No, because James is the only person who knew that I…” Sirius paused, words stuck in his throat and Remus’ eyes widen in realization.

“You like her.”

“Yeah,” Sirius admits and then gets angry again. “So James would never go on a date with her, he would never do that to me. And then here you come sending her down a path shes bound to fail from the start.”

“I was trying to be nice, maybe if you told me things.”

“You would have told Vix, you tell her everything. I didn’t want her to know, and now I especially don't want her to know.”

“You thought she liked you back.”

“I thought I had a chance,” Sirius admits in defeat.

“But you were with that Hufflepuff girl last week, we all thought, Vix and I thought you two were...doing things.”

“You mean my project partner in transfiguration, which you and Vix would both know if you had taken that class with me like you were supposed to. I haven’t even thought about another girl since the beginning of last year. James made me realize my stupid feelings and since then Vix has been the only girl on my mind. But thanks to you she thinks I’m off screwing with a Hufflepuff girl.

“To be fair it was Vix who jumped to that conclusion…”

“Remus.”

“Sorry.”

Remus moved closer to Sirius, resting a hand on his shoulder, no longer worried about Sirius being mad, instead of worried about his two friends with broken hearts.

“I have to go.” Sirius shrugged his shoulder to get Remus’ hand off of him and hurried down the hallway.

Remus knew there was nothing he could do to cheer Sirius up, so he went to your room to find you instead.

Remus let himself into the room after seeing both your roommates downstairs. He whispered your name and peeled your curtain back.

“I'm sorry,” he said, sadness and guilt dripping from his voice. You quickly moved up onto your knees to be level with him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders holding him tight. Remus hugged you back, holding you close and letting you cry on him. He was warm and broad-shouldered so he always gave good hugs.

“It’s not your fault.” You said between puffs of breath.

“I shouldn’t have told you to do that.”

You pushed him back again and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Remus Lupin you are not to blame for this, even if I hadn’t tried to ask him out he still would be going to Hogsmeade with Lily, it’s a culmination of all of it together but I would have ended up here anyway in this same place. I'm just glad I have you.”

“You have all of us, even James. I’ll be here for you and help you get over him, you just need to transfer your feelings onto someone else.” He said trying to hint at Sirius, not able to keep any secrets from you.

“I don't think that’s the healthiest coping mechanism. Let’s just focus on Arithmancy, and studying and avoiding James and Lily until I am emotionally stable enough to see them together.”

“I can help with that!” He says with excitement.

“For now let’s watch dumb muggle movies and eat chocolate?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It took a long time to get over James, you spent a lot of time with Remus who was a good friend, he helped take your mind off of him for this past month. It still hurt to see them together, they were so unbearably cute and if you weren’t envious of Lily before you definitely were now.

You and Remus became almost inseparable, your friendship level going from normal to absolute best friends. It was good, there was no pressure there to act differently around him because there were no romantic feelings of any kind.

Sirius had been missing most of the month, barely around, avoiding you at every turn. It was weird too, and you missed him.

“Has Sirius been really busy lately, I feel like I never see him?”

“Outside of our room and class I barely see him either, I don’t know what he’s been up to,” Remus answers honestly. He was so busy hanging out with you he completely ignored his other friend who had also been hurt by this whole mess of feelings.

“I just feel like I did something to make him mad at me, he used to hang out with us all the time but lately it been just me and you.”

“And I’m bad company?” Remus asks sarcastically.

“No you’re the best person in the whole entire world with a heart of gold, and the best friend a girl could ask for. I'm just worried about Sirius, I miss him.”

And almost on cue, Sirius walked into the common room, he looked tired and moody like he had all month.

“Sirius! Come sit with us!” You said with a bright smile. He looked at the way you were sitting so close to Remus, you had been spending so much time with him lately he hated it, hated watching you fall from one of his friends to the other, one that wasn’t him. He still had feelings for you, they wouldn't falter or dissipate no matter how much he avoided you.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your date,” he said passive-aggressively as he walked quickly up the stairs not seeing the confusion on your faces.

“What the-”

“Oh no,” Remus said his face going blank.

“What?” You said loudly turning to Remus who had clearly realized something.

“He thinks we are...oh no.”

“He thinks we are what? Dating. No, he knows we aren't and even if he did think that why would he be mad?”

“I fucked up, I fucked up again oh Merlin,” Remus said shaking his head.

“REMUS! Fill me in here please!”

“Sirius, was mad yes, upset when he found out you liked James, then upset with me for giving you false hope and setting you up to get hurt.

“I already said that wasn’t your fault.” You interrupted and Remus continued.

“But Sirius still blamed me. Then now he thinks that somehow this is, our friendship is some sort of rebound, he sees it as something more than it is and that’s why he’s been so edgy and distant.”

“This doesn't make sense still though, why does he care so much about who I date, or don't in this case.”

“Because Sirius has had feelings for you since last year, which James knew and I didn’t know until last month.”

“No he doesn't, Sirius fools around with so many girls, why would he like me?”

“He said he hasn’t been interested in a girl since he realized his feelings for you.”

You paused for a moment to think, he had been rather nice to you, in ways you hadn’t paid mind to because you were so busy staring at James. When you watched James leave a classroom you failed to notice Sirius patiently waiting for you. When you drooled over James in the hallway listening to his every word, you didn’t notice how Sirius was carrying your books for you, how he sat and studied with you and Remus even when he wasn’t in the class. And then it all clicked.

“Sirius likes me.” You said with wide eyes.

“Yeah, and now he probably thinks I’m a proper asshole.”

“I should go talk to him,” you say and Remus nods.

“Try to clarify the part where I’m not an asshole please!” Remus says suddenly scared of his friend’s anger.

“I’ll try,” you tease with a smile and then go upstairs.

Seeing you and Remus on the couch was the last straw for Sirius, the way you so carelessly asked him to sit with the two of you, as if he would want to. As if seeing you with Remus wasn’t infuriating.

He didn’t have someone to talk sense into him the past month, he didn’t have a friend to keep him busy and distracted or help him get over you. He had to sit and sulk alone, think about you being busy with his best friend.

He tried that first night to move on when you told him and Remus that you liked James and not him. He went and found his Hufflepuff lab partner and started returning all the flirting and pick up lines she had been throwing at him all week.

It worked, it got him far enough for her to kiss him, and maybe more if he hadn’t panicked. He closed his eyes into the kiss and all he saw was you, your face, he thought about kissing you. And he had to stop, he had to apologize to the poor girl and then find something else to numb his mind.

He couldn’t move on, he just couldn’t. So after he went upstairs he ran into Florence, your bitchy roommate that he knew you loathed. She had just left her boyfriend’s room, which Sirius quickly learned was now her ex-boyfriend.

One thing led to another and they were making out in the hallway, both parties acting purely on the intent to make someone jealous, to forget about their feelings and just do something stupid and reckless.

Just as Sirius has pushed Florence against the wall, practically sticking his tongue down her throat you walked up the stairs. Completely ready to ask Sirius on a date or just simply talk to him about this whole thing. Instead, you got to see the boy who was supposedly “in love” with you, sucking the face-off of the person you hated. You stopped mid-step and gasped quietly.

Florence’s ex-boyfriend stepped into the hallway at the same time and started yelling, quickly getting into an argument with her and then bringing her back into his room. Her plan sure worked well for her. Sirius’ not so much. He caught his breath, his chest rising and falling.

“Y/n what are you doing up here?” he asked confused, wondering why your eyes looked sad. You look betrayed.

“I came to talk to you.”

“Me? Your boyfriends downstairs why would you want to talk to me,” he said defensively.

“Remus is the farthest thing from my boyfriend, he’s my friend, the only one I’ve had since you’ve been ignoring me all month!”

“I see the way you look at each other it’s sickening,” he complains

“You see what you want to see, I love Remus yeah, he’s my friend, I love James and Peter and you too you idiot.”

“Remus told you, didn’t he,” Sirius says angrily, looking down the stairs behind you as if he wants to go yell at him himself.

“Yeah, only because I thought you were mad at me!” You yell closing the distance between you, “I would have much preferred you tell me yourself!”

“That would have worked great for me, Hey Vix I know you are in love with two of my friends but I also like you, please love me too!” He says in a mocking tone.

“You’re so full of yourself, there were so many ways you could have handled this but all you do is act like a child about the whole thing! I never once was angry with James for not liking me back, and I certainly never made out with someone he hates just to make him angry or jealous! You can be such an inconsiderate asshole!” You yell before stomping back down the stairs and leaving the common room.

Sirius walks downstairs and finds Remus on the couch.

“What did you do? She was all giddy a minute ago and now she basically had flames coming off her head?” Remus asks.

“I fucked up.”

“Well, at least I’m not the only one around here doing that.” Remus jokes with a laugh but his smile flattens when Sirius glares at him before going towards the door.

“She will probably be in the corner of the courtyard by the lilac bush if you’re going to find her,” Remus says just trying to help but it just pisses Sirius off more.

“I know that,” he bites back. Sirius knows you better than Remus may think, sure this month you and Remus may have gotten closer than the past but Sirius had been fawning over you for over a year, he knew everything there was to know about you, except apparently that you had been harbouring a crush for James. He really should have caught onto that.

He makes his way to the courtyard and sits beside you in silence not sure what to say.

“Why did you follow me out here?”

“Because I'm sorry, because I want to talk to you and somehow apologize.”

“Then apologize.”

“Oh, okay, um, I’m sorry for making out with your roommate that you hate. I wasn’t doing it to make you upset or jealous, I was trying to force myself to move on, to get over you…” he trails off and you look at him expectantly.

“And for the rest?” You ask and he looks at you confused.

“The rest?”

“For getting mad at me when I told you about James, for saying that he would never date me, for ignoring me for a month and being passive-aggressive, for assuming things about my friendship with Remus.”

“Oh yeah, that. I'm sorry about that too. I was stupid and I don’t even know how to explain myself. I'm sorry I'm not good at dealing with my emotions, I’m sorry I’m so defensive and jump to conclusions, I’m sorry my anger is a bit out of control and I’m sorry I’m bad at talking about things. I shouldn't have avoided you, even if you don't want me as anything more than a friend, I’m sorry I wasn’t grateful and happy because having you as a friend is better than not having you at all.”

“You should have just asked me on a date a long time ago when you realized you liked me.”

“I was nervous, I didn't want you to say no, and you would have been all in love with James then.”

“I would have been but I still would have said yes. I should have stopped liking James a long time ago. I would have said yes and we could have gone on a date and I would have realized that the idea of you being more than a friend isn’t so bad. I would have thought about all the sweet and nice things you do for me.”

“I wish I had a time-turner and could just go back in time and fix all of this,” he said sounding defeated.

“You don't need a time-turner when you have someone willing to forgive you sitting right in front of you.”

“Maybe I don't deserve that.”

“Maybe you don't get to tell me what you deserve from me if I want to forgive you then I will.”

“What if I just fuck it up again?” he asks, this brutally honest look in his eyes, being so candid with you about his fears and feelings.

“Think you would fuck up taking me on a date to Hogsmeade?”

“I can try my best not to,” he says with this childish smile, laughing to himself. And you haven’t completely forgiven him, you aren't even sure of your feelings yet but you can feel yourself getting used to the idea of him, like its been there all along you were just too blinded by hopeless devotion to notice.

--------

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