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I do attest, I have
Outlived the child at arms,
Tearing itself apart;
Throwing limbs
Like shedding skin; piling flesh
As monuments
To the stages of grief,
And all but one of them, for its
Rage,
I decided:
Meaningless.
And, so, I stand.
Verily, it would have been
Meaningless
To make the
Ouroboros murderous;
To set loose the beast
And let it eat
What is no other than the
You
In me.
The victim remains
Unchanged; it is all the same
Meat.
Had I
Despised you;
Reviled you;
Demonised you,
Would I have been better off?
The same light would shine
Through the frames, whether or not
I would have smashed the windows,
And I never felt relief, or accomplishment
At the sound of breaking
Porcelain.
It is not me, and so it is nothing
I aspire to be.
Still,
When I gaze at
All water under the bridge
I could not burn,
I cannot help but concur
With those who'd favour a purging
Outpour of animosity; in its reflection I see
Some Promethean Eagle
Still feasting
On me.
And I think
Such ill-fated
Malady, self-inflicted,
Must be the reason
Why there are separate words
For that which is meaningless
And that which is
Useless.
The water under the bridge
Is as crystal clear as the answer
To my child at arms heart's final inquest:
Had I loved you with a
Vengeful heart,
Would I have loved you
Any less?
I do not want a conditional love.
I will not be the girl who is only loved when it is convenient.
I will not be the girl who is only loved when the time is right.
I will not be the girl who is only loved when her shape is appropriate.
I will not be the girl who is only loved when you decide she deserves it.
I would rather live loveless for the whole of my life than compromise for even a second and live a life being told I am not enough as I am, all the time.
Because I will love with the ferocity of a blazing sun, unconditional and eternal - so why can I not want the same? It is not impossible, I am wholly capable and exist as proof that it can be done. Any excuse otherwise is simply worthless, a lie to pretend infatuation could ever be love.
Love is loud and obnoxious and treats your insides like a poison. It ruins your mind, your soul, your touch, your heart. It takes every part of your being and makes it it's own, as if they never belonged to you in the first place. The only cure is them and their happiness. You can handle the pain if it is in their name, you can take the fire.. but if it's true, they will never let you - because they would feel the same flames of hell without you.
I want that.
I won't settle for less.
Magic touches me and leaves a trail of fire, and rosewater. Oh a dream within a dream is but a breath within a breath, a shared beat inside two hearts. Time means nothing and distance is an illusion that dissipates like mist in the face of the divine feeling, the brush of your soul against mine. Light and dark meld into one breath, one heartbeat, one dream, one desire and erase the rest. The world fall away as two songs become one melody.
Tell me, again, of the roses
Whose lavish petals defy the beating golden
With fragile leaves crinkling to silver filigrees
While thorns thirst-sharpen in regal defiance
Tell me why I dream you so
Swiftly, again, let buzzing bees dance
About bloom's Penelope Pitstop-pink
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! That I might yet know
Lest the dawn-lit maelstrom takes us both
And I shan't find your arms again
Where the wild roses grow
i feel like if there was a word to describe how much i love you, my love would be less meaningful, for nothing can replace the need to prove how much i love you with actions because words aren’t enough.