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env0writes · 2 hours ago
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May Have Written 12. “I’ll Forgive Myself  When The Nightmares Ends”
Kiss me now so that I know it's real So that I know it's real So that I know it's real
So that i know when I wake up Hugging the right side of the bed That empty field of love and strife, Will be filled with you smiling, saying, “whassup?” Instead of being left a cluttered mess of empty meds Keeping me from taking my life
Slow dance with me, Hum, sing, and shout along to silent lyrics Mishmashed and mix and mashed songs With our eyes closed because the only world worth see-ing Is right here in our hands, that we used to fix Each bit of struggle that snags at what belongs
If you kiss me here, I can stay your dirty secret Friends and family don’t have to know that you may regret Eleven-hundred days of me not noticing The energies that you were focusing Into who we could be While I was happy, just to be
It’s not that you were right and I was wrong Or you were wrong and I was right, all along But that like the atoms we’re both made of Bouncing around with the rising heat of love Directed our projection until ejection From each others’ embrace and protection
So kiss me now so that I know it’s real That all these years, which were ideal Were not a dream I’m waking from Shocked at the person that I’ve become
So kiss me now so that I know it's real So that I know it's real So that I know it's real
So that the wounds can start to heal
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pocketfullofpoesies · 2 hours ago
if we were the same
what would we have
but one another
~ @pocketfullofpoesies
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autumnsunshine10 · 5 hours ago
Who knew this month would mean
Turning up the heat
Nights and days in dissaray
Put away the fans reach instead
For high pile blankets, nostalgia
Flowering in this fall-
Like making a fire in a hearth
When usually the ash
Would be discarded by now
Feeling the fool who pulled
The wool over their own eyes
From thrilling to chilling
Bone-tired and aching
Playing connect the dots with
The starry night sky
So aloof as to be frozen
In time though they blaze bright
It may be another
Trick of the mind
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prasannawrites · 5 hours ago
never going to send this to you.
and it’s summer again, your words still linger in the air – i don’t remember what was said, that much was whittled down to a feeling. a part of me relives the moment you left in middle of the night, and the not knowing of what came of you, and it’s constant, like a resonant humming in the background like tinnitus. i know what came of you; it’s stupid but i think about closure all the time, i still can’t wrap my head around why. you don’t need to explain and i stand by that; you finding your own peace is enough, but i'll be lying if i said i don’t think of what could’ve been, like what the years might have turned into if you didn’t leave. and now we exist in some type of limbo – like we crossed a liminal space that we weren’t supposed to. sometimes i wonder what life would’ve been if we weren’t fated to be in each other’s lives. i wonder about that too much, i wonder about you too much. but you’re still around, that’s all i prayed for back then, so i internalize all the what-ifs, and pray that your peace is real now.
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pocketfullofpoesies · 5 hours ago
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i ask him to call me
when he's got a minute
and when i pick up
less than a second later
he's asking me what's wrong
i say nothing, forgetting
i left work early,
my timing
a couple hours off
from what he's expecting
and as the conversation
carries on
i'm suddenly blurting out
about how
my work schedule changed
and i didn't get to see my boy
he didn't get to stop by
for me to wish him
a happy birthday in person
to give him his birthday card
and just like that
my eyes are carrying the weight
of a wave of tears
my voice holding a gentle quiver
and he's asking me if
i'm doing okay
and i finally realize
i'm not
and we acknowledge silently
the situation we're coping with
the stress, the distance
and then just like that
we're right back at it
moving the conversation along
~ @pocketfullofpoesies
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consciousprose · 6 hours ago
there is something
incredibly sweet
in the ways
your tongue cuts 
my body
lethal sermons
encased in
crystalline honey
caustic rejection 
sheathed in 
saccharine intoxication
- aleta jay
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delightsofmysoul · 7 hours ago
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I feel deflated
As though life has left me an empty being inside a familiar shell
Tears roll silently down my cheeks
My misery
All encompassing
Then I look up
See the majesty of the sky above me
The sereneness of the countryside
The glory of the rainbow
Each colour a jewel reminding me that life is a tapestry of events woven together
With the storms of life there is the promise of hope
If only I look.
Delightsofmysoul 13 May 2021
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heartofmuse · 7 hours ago
Every minute lived is a responsibility. I feel the weight of it more than most. I don't know why.  I just understand how precious each second we have that is full of health, that is full of life. For those who didn't get to live though they were by far more worthy, sometimes I ask God, "Why me? What is so special about me? Why do I get more time than those who died far way too young?" I feel His arms so gentle around me as He whispers," Because you have lives to touch, and people to love." I don't really know what is the impact of just one life in the grand scheme of things but I so feel my fragile mortality. I just hope that when it's my time to go, be it soon or far off, that I can say that I loved as much as I could, that I was a light and a gentle soul that brought beauty into this world, not to make glory my own, but to give back in some measure what God blessed me with and put in my heart so the glory be His for His dadivosity.
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heartofmuse · 11 hours ago
I know you are tired, but come and I will take you tenderly by the hand and we will fly through the vault of pearly dreams and the wind will paint your lips with stardust joy. You will see the secret places that only my soul knows and we will play happily in the moonlight between each raindrop.
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elycwinters · 12 hours ago
The Names
The names we choose to die with are two:
Of that of your greatest love, that one love that consumed you into ashes. That love that left a mark upon your soul and the one your heart longs even after it stops, that one your soul will seek in the great beyond in hopes for you two to be one once more.
Of that of your greatest foe, that one being who frustrated you and angered you beyond a reasonable point, that being who you could barely restrain yourself from wanting to harm. That one being you hated even when you swore that you never hate anyone.
The names we choose to die with are two: Those who split our heart into two.
- Ely C. Winters.
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elycwinters · 13 hours ago
She Dances
Look at her, she moves unmatched.
With some rhythm no one can hear she dances and leaps on the floor as others simply move and let her be.
Look at her, her movement unmatched.
She moves with such grace, it shames others as she sways with freedom to the music that comes from deep within her.
Look at her, she moves unmatched.
How to predict her movements when she simply dances as her heart commands and moves with a grace that no one can match?
Look at her, isn’t she a dancer without peer?
- Ely C. Winters.
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sedehaven · 13 hours ago
A Year Nearly Dead, NBD
After the storms passed, in the hothouse that home became--no clean water, ~ no cool dark to friend me-- ~ I began to sink. To summon the boatman. To ring the reaper and call his carriage, ~ Five days with a stomach coiled like a spring, overwound and screaming. ~ No food, not enough water. None could pass this Gandalf organ, and so the sickness ~ fell lush, like the hush after a symphony. Velvet black and heavy. ~ Eleven months of tissue skin, wilting in heat and rising in blisters ~ like bubblewrap under any sun at all. Hot wax melt invisible across ~ limbs screaming. The wolf in the mirror, rising red across my cheekbones ~ and the bridge of my nose. ~ Fevers bursting like peonies, like winter camellias. Blood too sweet today, too thin ~ tomorrow. ~ Sleep sweats and screaming meemies, wracking sobs mixing with a cough to send strangers running. ~ I was never crowned, it was never the plague. No, just the bat and wolf, fighting beneath my skin. ~ My marrow is steel, and I am strong. My skin is paper, and I am tired.
-- S. E. De Haven
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elycwinters · 14 hours ago
Night Terrors
Tell me about your night terrors: Tell me how you wake up screaming about some imagined horror.
Tell me about the way your heart thunders inside your chest thanks to bad dreams.
Tell me about the way your hands shake as you try to reassure yourself that it’s not real.
Tell me about how you feel short of breath as you do your best to remember how to breathe.
Tell me about how you turn the light on in the slim hope that it’ll keep nightmares away.
Tell me about your night terrors, and let me tell you about the ones in my head.
- Ely C. Winters. | May #13 @nosebleedclub
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rhapsodyinblue45 · 15 hours ago
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mortalghost · 15 hours ago
I could have held you a little longer. Could have fought, hoping you would realize that I could offer you all that you ever needed. It would have been so much easier if you would have stayed. I wouldn't suffer as much as I did.
Experience gives you hindsight that makes you wish things would have been different.
I let my pride get in the way. I let you go, I walked away. There was nothing more that I could do but watch you leave my life that day. If only you had shown a hint of wanting me to reach deep within and take a hold, grab on for control, hoping that I would be enough to make you want to fight for me, try for me, wanting me.
Even after all of these years...
...I'm suffering.
-H. Murcia 5/12/2021 10:47 AM
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pocketfullofpoesies · 17 hours ago
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i sit on the couch
in your spot
hoping he'll come visit
trying to convince us both
that the recent changes
are not permanent
that you will be coming home
~ @pocketfullofpoesies
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sharkygiovanna2 · 19 hours ago
Piece of cake
'piece of cake'
she sobbed smiling through her tears
obviously encouraging herself to believe in
a darn lie
I wrapped her in my embrace to ease the
pain but i doubt if she would respond to it
'life is short so better just forget' i tried
she smiled again
a step in the right fiection after all i thought
outside spring was having an abundant
but she didnot feel like going out and
'Piece of cake' was the best at that particular
a clever girl she always was
we sat in silence and enjoyed what we had
understanding each other
@sharkygiovanna 2🗿🗿2021
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courtneyopoetry · 20 hours ago
man in a shell
your cheap drunkenness and hidden phone calls
your running away...
the malady of the modern age! being so free, so drained
your emptiness, I guess there's your pain
that you guard in disposable one night stands
your fooling around the world,
devoid of attachments, and devoid of love
your thirst for life
that hides a persistent death inside
the shell that keeps you safe
the aloof, detached shell
that keeps you away
the shell that broke us because
I couldn't stay there
must be hell
to have such a shell
to be so sedated
thinking it's all going well
All the tears I shed
saddest thing - unable to shatter
the shell
I bleed, I bleed,
but in the end I will be saved,
you'll remain alone, anyway
your FEAR, all over the place
beautiful like a wreck, but,
you harm me, sorry,
I can't make it today
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