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#him having a hug time bracelet my mind immediately went to angst
keitorinrose · 2 months
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My day be so fine and then boom i think about branch's past
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bonnibuckets · 1 year
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Love your work!😍Can i have the will to request a Roxto X reader where he feels like he isn’t good enough, kinda like comparing himself to the other guys in the village esspecily Aonung. The muscle mass, their hunting skills, riding ilus. You didnt know at first, because you found him perfect in every way, his smile, his comforting words and touch, his eyes, hes also very good making braclets out off sheels, so he often makes you cute gifts you love so much. One day you find him crying on the other side of the island when you were out picking some fruits to him and yourself, you rush over to him and comfort him, hugging him and stroke his back. You ask what is wrong but he stays quiet clinging himself on you.
But of course er love Roxto so we tell hil that, but he dosen’t fully believe you so you have to show him a few tricks😏✋
*cough… TOP!READER✋
I prob already requested this but i dont remember who i requested it to🤔💭
hello babes! i will write everything up until the smut because rotxo is a teenager in the movies, i’m sorry if that upsets you but i have plenty of other smuts you can read :)
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— antics | rotxo
pairings: fem x rotxo
warnings: angst & fluff, mentions of insecurities
synopsis: rotxo compares himself to every guy you come into contact with— even his own best friend ao’nung.
wc: 700+
note: i was unaware this had been requested before to other authors but i assure that this is 100% my work and i was not inspired by anyone else i only took from the text in the request (no hate to anyone though!)
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
You can rotxo have been together for quite some time, but that never stopped his overthinking mind. He constantly thought badly of himself unintentionally whenever you were around. He thought you were too good for him and that he didn’t deserve you, his head would fill with horrible thoughts every time you talked to a boy.
He thought his his hunting skills weren’t good, his ability to ride ilus and even physical physique. Rotxo compared himself to his best friend all the time, ao’nung is naturally bigger in muscle mass and that got to him.
He tried to never show this because he knew it was a problem within himself and not anyone else's.
Until one day you were laughing at ao’nung’s stupid jokes and unaware of the pair of eyes on you both. Rotxo clutched the bracelet he made you out of shells and started sobbing as he ran away, he thought he was pathetic and he wanted to crawl in a hole.
He made his way to the beach and he plopped down and hugged his knees as hot tears rolled down his face.
You waved ao’nung bye to go pick some fruit for rotxo as a little surprise. You hummed as you carefully inspected each fruit with love. You gathered enough in your basket as you walked to find your boyfriend.
You pressed the basket to your hip as you looked around and then you spotted him on the beach. You smiled as your heart starting beating a little faster and your tail swayed.
“Rotxo!” you smiled and waved as he jumped and looked up with teary eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You immediately went to his side and put down the fruit as you cupped his cheeks.
“What’s wrong dear?” you questioned worried. He sniffed and wiped away his tears as he tried to speak with a shaky voice but nothing came out except more tears. Your heart sank and you pulled him into your chest as he clung to you.
You shushed him and scratched his back. “It’s okay darling,” you said kissing the top of his head. His breathing had calmed down a little and he pulled away and you wiped his tears away as he sniffled, “talk to me” you said cupping his cheek.
He looked into your eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled “i’m just scared…that i’m not good enough” he said. Your heart sank even more and you immediately pulled him back into you “no no no” you said holding onto him tightly. “Don’t say that it’s not true” you said into the crook of his neck.
“I know but,” he said pushing you away to talk to you “it’s just i feel…like everyone is better than me, every guy i see you talk to i can’t help but think about how they’re better than me. Even ao’nung is better than me! He knows how to hunt, swim, ride his ilu perfectly, and he is so much stronger than-” you cut him off with a kiss.
“Shush i don’t believe any of that for a second” you smiled with teary eyes “i just can’t imagine a life without you rotxo, you’re amazing and perfect i love everything about you! I love your smile, your laugh, your words, your touch, your eyes everything,” you said chuckling as tears rolled down your face.
Rotxo immediately panicked and wiped away your tears as he cried too “i’m sorry i really am i tried to not let get to me, but thank you” he smiled and held your face “i love everything about you too” you both smiled and pressed your foreheads against one another’s as your tails intertwined.
Rotxo popped up “i completely forgot! I made you a bracelet” he smiled as he showed you a beautiful shell bracelet. “Oh honey” your heart swooned “it must’ve taken you hours,” you said as he put it on you “i love it rotxo” you smiled. “I also got you something but not as good” you chuckled and handed him the basket of fruit and his face lit up immediately.
“Oh my favorite!” he smiled and immediately bit into it smiling like a kid “i’m happy you like it” you giggled and wiped away the juice that got on his cheek. He smiled and swallowed his food before kissing you quickly and going back to eating as you lovingly watched him without a care in the world.
— [fin]
 taglist 🏷️: @d34ng3l l @wekiamo @sapphicrhee @sully-stick-together @gloryy-vs @catgogrrr @kyber4crystal @kairreeee @winkingface @starfrier @lov3-bby @itsokilovemetoo @eywaheardyou @loverswiftsblog @owaowaowawa @durinsnowxii @loaksbitch
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lilysdaydreams · 3 years
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Praise Bingus (No fucking way)
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→  I do not claim to know corpse- therefore please don't think that this is what he would actually act like, or that any details about his life are actually true. this is fiction.
→ Pairing: Corpse Husband X Fem!Reader
→ Genre: Angst and fluff. (FLUFF IS COMING I SWEAR)
→ Words: 3.9k
→ In a world where everyone is born with a mark on their wrist, two souls come together over the power of bingus.
→ (this isnt crack lol)
→ Warnings: Lots of swearing, um self-depreciation? rejection (kinda) and negative thoughts overall. Sorry im new to warnings.
→ Authors Note: this is the first time im doing like angst so please tell me if I did well? Um also, I’ve already started on the part 2 so keep your eyes out for that. If you wanna be tagged for part two please comment and lemme know. Also check out my other fics if you want!
→ Buy me a coffee
Part two  →    
~~~
Soulmates were a phenomenon. They'd been there for ages, drawn into the Egyptian tomb paintings, seen in the cave paintings from millions of years ago, talked about in stories passed down from generation to generation. They could be matching drawings, first words, names; all black before the soulmates met and turning gold the moment they talked to each other. There wasn't a scientist in the world who could explain the phenomenon.
You'd received your mark at birth just like everyone else, a sentence running around your wrist,
"No fucking way."
Your parents weren't that happy when you asked at the age of 4 what "fucking" meant but it wasn't that bad. You were happy that you had something unique, something other than the "Hi," or "Excuse me," that was on every other arm.
When you were 13, a little girl on the train pointed to your wrist and asked her mom what it meant. Ever since then, you'd taken to wearing bracelets over it. This had turned out to be a good idea because a few years later you started making Youtube videos. At the age of 16, you started a Youtube channel where you focused on a variety of things; makeup, fashion, games, art, skits and a whole lot more.
At the age of 20, you had a steady following of a little more than a million subscribers, and you had moved to LA to be closer to all your Youtube friends. You hadn't just grown on Youtube, you'd also started a lot of side projects. You were known for the art that you did on the side, along with the makeup palette you'd come out with a year ago. Soon you were planning to release a merch collection, one that you had been working on for a whole year now.
You hadn't met your soulmate at this point but honestly, you didn't really mind. Balancing Youtube and study (along with all your other side projects) was hard. There was no need to add the struggle of love into it... Or that's what you told yourself anyways.
There were days though, days where you wished you had someone to hug, someone to cuddle in bed with, someone to go on long walks with. You didn't let yourself wallow on it that long though. Crying about it was gonna do absolutely nothing.
It started on a rainy day. The story of you and him. You were editing your soon to be uploaded video, an e-girl outfits lookbook, which had been requested by your followers. Your personal style was all over the place and your previous soft girl and cottage care look books had done well, so you decided to continue the series.
You eyes blurred as you looked at the same point of the video, and you sighed, removing your glasses and rubbing your eyes. Your editor was sick and had let you know that they wouldn't be able to edit it by the deadline so here you were, editing it yourself. You stretched in your chair letting out a yawn. You were contemplating on whether to make coffee or not when your phone pinged.
"Nooooo" you whined when you noticed it was on the coffee table that was just a little out of your reach. Stretching your foot out, you tried to grab it between your toes and then sighed when the phone fell.
"I have zero luck, I swear" you muttered to yourself, bending to pick up the phone.
The text was from Rae, asking you to join a game of Among Us. You and Rae had been friends for a bit now, which all started when she came across your art and decided to order something from you. You had chatted and clicked immediately, immediately becoming fast friends. Ever since the lockdown started, she often asked you to join in on Among us games and your friendship had really grown over these past few months.
You sent a quick "sure!" and then went to your table, waiting for the PC to turn on. Quickly tweeting out that you were streaming, you opened up Youtube and turned on the stream, saying a quick hello and letting them know what you'd be doing.
"Rae just invited me guys, I don't really know who's there," you mumbled, replying to a comment asking you who you were playing with.
You squinted your eyes, joining the voice chat and then opening your phone camera to quickly check that you didn't look horrible. Sure you didn't really care about how you looked but it was always good to check that you didn't have anything stuck between your teeth before you turned on the camera.
There was already a conversation going on, between who you thought was Corpse and Sykkuno, judging by their voices.
"Yeah I could totally do that. Get a cat and name it Bingus. I wonder if th-"
You gasped when you heard what they were talking about and unmuted yourself immediately yelling "PRAISE LORD BINGUS" and effectively shocking everyone in the chat.
A moment of silence and then Rae yelled: "OH MY FUCKING GOD Y/N, YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME."
You giggled as everyone groaned and whined, saying hi as they realised who it was. You had played with Sykkuno and the others a few times before but you'd never met Corpse before. You'd heard his voice though, as he was trending on twitter constantly over the past few weeks. Once they all quietened down, you realised Corpse hadn't said anything. Since you knew everyone else in the lobby, you introduced yourself, wondering if you'd scared him a bit too hard.
"Hey Corpse, I'm Y/N from Y/C/N, its so nice to finally meet you," you said gritting your teeth at you awkward introduction. For a second there was no response and then three words were said that made your jaw drop to the floor.
"No fucking way"
He had whispered it, obviously still in shock, and your eyes widened in surprise as a tingle spread all over your body. So this was what everyone meant by "you'll just know," when you asked them about how you would recognize your soulmate.
"Holy shit" you thought frozen in your seat.
Never had you been more glad that you hadn't turned the camera on yet.
"Uhhhh-" you started, but stopped now knowing what to say.
What the fuck were you supposed to do now.
"Wha- Whats wrong?" Rae asked after a moment passed.
Corpse cleared his throat and started "Its um, shes my -" and you cut him off, heart beating in your chest.
"Nothing. Its nothing." you said talking over him. "Who else are we waiting for Rae?" you asked joining the lobby quickly and choosing red as your colour.
"Uh one more person," she said slowly, still a bit confused.
"Oh awesome!" you said fake enthusiasm prevalent in your voice. "So Sykkuno," you started, wanting to keep the conversation going. "How's Bimbus doing?"
Sykkuno launched into a story of Bimbus and you blew out a sigh of relief, mind still numb over the revelation.
Corpse was your soulmate.
The guy who had literally went viral the past few weeks was your soulmate.
You'd finally found him.
You heard Rae cut Sykkuno off, telling everyone she was starting the game and muttered a "Thank god" when the words "CREWMATE" appeared on your screen. You would not have been able to play imposter at the moment, your mind pretty much stuck on the fact that Corpse was your fucking soulmate.
Heading down to admin, you realised you hadn't said anything yet to the stream so you quickly turned on your cam, saying a quick sorry to the viewers.
"Sorry guys, I forgot to put the camera on," you smiled focusing on card swipe.
"I hope everyone's been okay, I know this was quite sudden, but Rae invited me and I was like why not you know," you said rambling as you moved to comms and did the task there.
Lights were called and you moved to electrical, arriving there just as Leslie fixed them. You moved into the back of electrical doing the three tasks you had there when Sykkuno suddenly came in and went straight to standing on top of the vent.
You giggled already knowing his trick.
"Okay guys," you mumbled watching Sykkuno wiggle on the vent. "do we trust Sykkuno or not?"
"You know what," you said making a split second decision. "Its the first game, we might as well."
Joining him on the vent, you stilled for a second and then breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't automatically kill you.
"See, what did I tell you guys huh?" you question smiling straight at the camera. "I knew Sykkuno could be trusted."
You decided to follow Sykkuno going into reactor with him and starting 'Simon says' and just as you were on the last part, a body was found making you let a whine out.
"Guysss," you whined to the camera as Rae started talking about how she had found Daves body in admin.
"Um, I havent been in admin since the start of the game," you said, "also I can clear Sykkuno, for the last part of the round, he's been with me since lights went out."
Sykkuno confirmed it, "Yup that's right, also I can hard clear Y/N cuz guess what? She stood on the vent with me and none of us died."
Everyone chuckled as he said "Thats good enough for me."
"Uh, I was in navigation mostly." said Lily.
"Poki, can I just ask what you were doing?" said Sean, an undercurrent of mirth present.
"Me?" asked Poki speaking for the first time. "What was I doing?"
"You weren't doing any tasks, you were literally just walking from one side of medbay to the other when I peeked in."
Poki started laughing, trying to get her words out at the same time.
"Okay so-" a giggle. "okay okay- I was just, I was trying to um do the beep test," she said finally breaking down and making everyone else laugh as well.
"What the fuck?" you said, laughing at the image in your mind.
"My chat told me to do it last game so I decided to do it now, I was literally just playing around," she said finally, adding "I swear I'm not imposter" at the end.
"Hmmm," you hummed, bringing a hand up to stroke your chin. "Are you sure it was last game Poki... hm...."
Giggling at Poki indignant "YES it was last game", you quickly skipped voting like everyone else as the timer went into the last ten seconds.
Humming a tune under your breath, you went back to reactor, taking a minute to carefully do Simon says and then moved to the other task counting out one two three as you pressed on the numbers. Humming, you moved out of reactor, only to come face to face with Corpse. You paused for a second, and then moved ahead, refusing to show anything on camera. For some reason he followed you as you went to storage, looking at you while you did the trash.
"Why is he just staring?" you mumbled, biting your lip. God, you really didn't wanna think of him right now. You started walking to shields, him still walking with you when lights were called and not a second later a body was reported.
Suddenly there was screaming your ears as Toast and Rae both started accusing each other.
"Wait- Wait WAIT" yelled Poki trying to get them to stop. "What happened?"
"I'll explain" declared Rae, not letting toast get a word in. "We were in navigation okay, me, Toast and Leslie. Lights went out, and suddenly a report buttons there. It's either Toast or someone came in just as lights went out and killed but that doesn't seem likely because I didn't see anyone anywhere near us at all. Anyways I'm fucking telling the truth guys, its Toast, he's the one who did it."
"Toast, do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Corpse, his voice making your insides shiver.
"Holy shit, this is my soulmate", you thought for the fiftieth time.
"Uh yeah," replied toast. "I didn't do it."
Everyone laughed as he continued.
"Like seriously, I wouldn't do anything like this because it'd be a stupid move from my own part, and I think Raes smart enough to not do this as well. I think someone else came in just as lights went down and killed immediately, which to be honest, was pretty smart of them."
"Okay so I can clear Corpse," you cut in noticing the timer was close. "he was with me in weapons when it happened, he wouldn't have had time to go all the way up, or even vent there because we were literally walking in."
"Yup that's right," confirmed corpse.
"I'm in cafeteria" said Poki.
"Yeah, I saw her on my way to weapons," said Sykkuno, "and I'm in weapons right now,"
"I'm in lower engine" said Sean, and Lily said she was in reactor.
"I think it's Toast," you mumbled and then rose your voice to talk over everyone. "Look okay fine, maybe he said it was a stupid move and he wouldn't do it but maybe he did it for that exact reason. He thought he could get away with it because no one would expect him to do something like that."
As the timer started going down by 10, you voted for Toast and it turned out 3 had skipped the vote while five had voted for him.
damn.
"Guys you actually voted for him?" you said in a high voice, re-enacting one of Sykkunos most said lines.
You heard a "oh for gods sake" from Rae before everyone went silent and you giggled as you moved back down to weapons to do your tasks.
You finished all your tasks and decided to go to security to check where everyone is. Humming as you moved through the electrical hallway, you narrowed your eyes as Corpse came out of electrical and went towards storage. Quickly ducking in you didn't see a body so you headed back out, going into cams and gasping as you saw the body. Reporting immediately you were shocked to see the four kills that had happened. Now only you, Corpse, Sean and Rae were left.
"Oh my god," you mumbled confused. Either there were still two imposters, and Toast wasn't the imposter or the imposter literally killed and did nothing else. Now either that could mean that its definitely Rae if Toast wasn't the imposter, or that it was Corpse as the only imposter left. That was a bit weird though becuase he could have totally killed you at the start of the game. You didn't suspect Sean at all.
"What the fuck?" mumbled Corpse, and Rae made her animal noises expressing her shock.
"Okay," you said taking charge and relaying the kill and your theory to everyone. "So either it was Toast and there's only one other imposter, who is Corpse. Or Toast wasn't an imposter and there's two of them left. I-" you took a deep breath in at the end, very confused. " I don't know anymore,"
"I think its Corpse as well,"
Corpse who hadn't said anything up till this moment suddenly started stammering out "hey-hey uh let-lets not gang up on me okay. It's not-"
"No, wait, its because Y/N said you came out of electrical right, and I saw you in upper engine literally a bit ago and you went down. I went towards cafeteria so I don't know exactly where you went but its totally possible that you killed."
You voted form him after that, convinced it was Corpse, and the other followed quickly.
"Guys what the fuck, at least give me a chance to explain my self" he whined when his body was thrown off the ship seconds later. You cheered when the "VICTORY" sign was displayed across the screen, bringing up your chat and laughing at Toast as he pretended to be angry at me.
"That was a great round, good work Y/N"
"Thankyou" you mumbled staring at your chat. You were confused when you saw the absolute influx of messages on there, and you were barely able to read them because they were going so fast. You scrolled up, and read through the few of the messages;
"You've made corpse sad."
"Corpse has literally been so quite since you came in, can you leave."
"Omg stop with the hate messages, its not her fault if corpse isn't talking to you"
"are you his ex or something? What was that reaction at the start?"
"what did you do? Corpse literally hasn't said a word since you came in."
"Um..."
Corpse POV
Corpses heart stopped for a minute, his breath catching. The words on his wrist glowed gold, and he stared at the little red character standing there.
This person was the reason that he had "PRAISE BINGUS" stretched across his wrist.
They were the only reason that he had searched "Bingus" on google for all of his life. The only reason Corpse knew about the meme before anyone else was because he was constantly monitoring the word online. Ever since March, he had been waiting with bated breath, anxious that he could meet his soulmate at any moment. and here you were.
For some reason, he had never expected that he would meet you in among us, or while he was on stream. He always thought it'd be someone outside. It was a bit stupid in hindsight as all he did nowadays was play among us.
He heard you introduce yourself to him but the only thing that came out of his mouth was “No fucking way”.
Immediately after he wanted to slap himself.
“Idiot” he thought to himself. “At least try to make a good impression.”
When Rae asked what was wrong, heat sprung to his cheeks as he started revealing that they were soulmates, but Y/N cut him off, saying that it was nothing.
Corpse’s heart sank a little then.
'Maybe she’s just a private person,' he reasoned with himself.
'I shouldn’t have tried to say it on stream either. God, I’m a fucking idiot, if I said it, literally everyone would know and not only would I have hated the attention, she probabaly would have as well.'
Convincing himself that she was right, he reassured himself that it wasn’t because of him. She wasn’t revealing it because she probably didn't want all the attention.
For some reason though, his heart sank even more when Y/N didnt talk to him, instead talking to sykkuno about his dog. Like sure he could understand not wanting to reveal they were soulmates but shouldn’t she at least wanna talk to him? At this point he wouldn’t even mind if she talked about his voice like everyone else.
He groaned when the word "Imposter" came across his screen, his and Toasts character standing together. He was not in the right mindset right now to be able to be a good imposter. Breathing in deeply he continued in the game, with the first round passing by quick. The second round, he saw Y/N and stood with her for a bit wondering if he should kill her. Her red character moved to weapons and he sighed moving the mouse over the kill button. Just as he was thinking of clicking a body was found. Corpse swore as Toast flew off the ship. Deciding he needed to speed it up he killed four people in the round, hissing when the meeting was called. The moment Y/N accused him, he knew it was over. He didn't even bother defending himself much, just hoping the game would end soon.
When they were in the lobby, he quickly told everyone that he was going to leave because his internet was acting up. Turning off the stream after saying a quick thank you to everyone, he leaned back in his seat breathing through his nose.
What the fuck was his life.
Even his soulmate didnt want him. Honestly, he should have expected this. Abandoned at 12 with no one around him, why did his expect his soulmate to even give a fuck about him. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked trying to get rid of them. He breathed in deeply, grabbing the water on the table and taking a big gulp. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Why couldnt he have an easier life.
“Why cant I just fucking be NORMAL” he yelled throwing the empty bottle of water at the wall.
Throwing himself into bed, he scrunched up his eyes, hoping that sleep would come today, not noticing as his phone lit up with a single message.
Your POV
You stayed for another game and then ducked out apologizing and making an excuse up.
"Sorry it was such a short stream, everyone," you said pouting at the camera. "It was fun though so hopefully I get to do it again." Waving goodbye, you turned off the camera and leaned your head back staring at the ceiling.
What the actual fuck.
Grabbing your phone, you stared at it for a bit. Everything that you had pushed to the back of your mind in the game, was suddenly in the forefront.
The only thing you knew about Corpse was that he had a really deep voice, he narrated horror movies, and he maybe did music?
'Rae mentioned that once right?' you thought to yourself.
You unlocked the phone and then locked it again, too scared to actually do anything.
Unlocked.
Locked.
Unlocked.
Locked.
"Oh get a grip," you muttered to yourself, opening the phone and sending a text to Rae.
‘Hey Rae, do you have corpses number? Do you mind sending it to me, I need to tell him something.’
A reply came in a minute,
‘umm, why. he's pretty private so idk i don't rlly wanna give his number if he doesn't want someone to have it’
You sighed, and decided you might as well tell her. You knew Rae wouldn't betray your trust.
‘He's my soulmate’
Immediately a ‘AHDJHAKJKAGDAK’ came as a reply and you giggled at the string of emojis after it.
‘Don't tell anyone,’ you sent quickly, trying to calm her down.
‘Okay okay, its XXX - XXX - XXXX, ASHAGDH IM DYING OMG. GO TALK TO HIM.’
Biting your lip you added Corpse into your contacts hesitating before putting a small black heart next to his name.
"Already simping," you mumbled under your breath, hands hovering over the keyboard as you struggled to think of what to write.
You finally decided on 'Hey, its Y/N, can I call?' thinking that something short would be the best way to go. Hand hovering over the send button, you sucked in a breath and pressed it, waiting with bated breath.
A minute passed.
And then five.
And then, without you even you realising, it'd been half an hour of you just looking at your phone.
An hour later, you were slumped on your desk, eyes closed and snoring lightly, the phone still open, the message you sent lighting up the screen.
tbc.
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hockeyshitandstuff · 3 years
Text
Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)
part two here
part three here
word count: 1860 words
TW: language, angst (?)
let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure
...
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It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.
Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.
Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.
Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.
So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.
The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.
"Yes?"
Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.
"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.
"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."
"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."
"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?
"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.
"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."
"Really? I've been there for a few years."
"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.
Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.
"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"
"Okay. I'll meet you there."
As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.
But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.
You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.
It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.
...
"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.
Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.
"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.
Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.
"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.
"Five years," you said.
Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?
"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.
"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.
Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.
"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."
"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."
"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.
"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.
Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.
You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.
The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.
You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing.  Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.
You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.
There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.
Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?
Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...
Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.
"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.
"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.
"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.
"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."
Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.
You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.
Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.
"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.
"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."
You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.
"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.
...
On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.
You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.
The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.
Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.
"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."
You tucked it in your pocket without a word.
"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."
It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.
"I will." you promised.
The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.
"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."
Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.
"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."
"Goodbye, Matt."
...
The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.
You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.
Dear Y/N,
I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.
I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.
He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.
So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.
I love you,
Matt
With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.
That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.
The phone rang once before he picked it up.
"Y/N? What is it?"
A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.
"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."
"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"
"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."
220 notes · View notes
floralseokjin · 3 years
Text
⤑ made-up love song drabbles
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Seokjin’s chapter ix 
kim seokjin x reader warnings; angst, this feels pretty heavy at certain points but gets lighter as you go on, there’s a therapy session included, and just a lot of introspection  words; 7,459
author’s note; this kind of ran away with me, wasn’t expecting it to be so long haha but I hope you enjoy! 
Read the original chapter ix here 
↪︎ read the series here / and drabbles here
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After you left Seokjin immediately poured the rest of his whisky down the sink and rinsed his glass. His mind was whirring, head heavy and starting to throb. He swallowed two painkillers down with some water and took a deep breath. He felt like crying. It felt like everything was crumbling around him. All his recent happiness, all his progress, and now possibly it seemed, his relationship with you… 
He’d wanted nothing more than to beg you to stay, and he had to an extent, but he knew it wasn’t right. He closed his eyes, not quite believing you’d witnessed all that. You probably thought he was a monster. He hadn’t lost his temper quite like that in a while, not since before the divorce… Embarrassment washed over him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from still being mad at Nana. He knew what you said made sense. He knew he’d been out of line but Nana continuously goaded him. She’d done so throughout their marriage. But he was no saint, he knew how to provoke her too. It’s what they did best. 
He moved away from the sink and tried to quash his anger, instead thinking of you and how much he had hurt and upset you. He hadn’t meant for it to get that bad, and he knew deep down that the reason he was so angry was because he’d brought it all on himself. He caused the incident by keeping his relationship with you secret. It hadn’t been on purpose, he wasn’t being vindictive, if anyone would believe him. He just… He had been selfish. He didn’t want to ruin anything because he was finally really happy after god knows how long. It was stupid in hindsight, but what was done was done now. 
He reached for Arin’s mug of hot chocolate and fresh waves of guilt and emotion hit him. She didn’t deserve any of this. He needed to be there for her, to push his own troubles away and put on a brave face because none of this was her fault. She needed to know that. Thankfully, the drink hadn’t grown cold yet, and he finished it off with some cream and mini marshmallows. He took one last deep breath and made his way down the hallway. Moping was no good for him. That’s what Chaewon always said. 
Arin looked happy to see him, instantly reaching out to him as he took a seat next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. He immediately felt lighter with relief. His daughter had always been his magical cure, and even though a cuddle wouldn’t make everything in his life right again, it certainly helped, and was very much needed. She asked where you were at one point, and unsure what to say, and feeling like shit for lying, he quickly said you needed to be somewhere. Arin probably didn’t buy it, looking dubious as a result of today, bus she didn’t say anything, asking instead if they could watch a movie. 
She wasn’t very talkative, and he didn’t blame her. Neither was he. He spent most of Shrek the Third lost in his own thoughts. As his anger slowly drifted away, shame replaced it. He’d been absolutely awful today and even if some of the things he’d said to Nana came from a valid place of concern, most were shouted for no reason other than frustration and hatred on his part. He was ashamed of himself. 
After the movie finished, Arin complained she was feeling hungry, so he left her to pick a new movie while he found something to cook up for dinner. He caught sight of the bowl of salad and his heart sunk, remembering the picnic outside. There was no salvaging it now, everything had probably spoiled in the sun, and as he waited for Arin’s dinner to cook, he went outside with a garbage bag, throwing away all the food you’d painstakingly prepared. It felt like he was throwing your relationship in the trash. He didn’t eat with that thought in mind, managing one piece of toast before it turned on him. 
At around 6pm his phone started to ring, vibrating in his front pocket and giving him a shock. For a split second he prayed it was you, but he knew he was being foolish. You needed time and if he was being honest with himself, so did he. He needed to concentrate on Arin tonight, as much as he…loved…you, his daughter’s wellbeing was the most important thing. If he could just make sure Arin was okay, then tomorrow he could concentrate on you and him. 
Pulling out the device he saw it was Nana. He suddenly felt very, very sick but picked up with a cautious hello. He was almost 100% sure she wanted to speak with Arin, the only way she could seeing as Arin was too young to have a phone of her own, but he was still wary, not wanting a repeat of earlier. 
“I want to speak to my daughter.” There was anger to her tone, and he knew her well enough to understand she had her guard up right now. She’d left his place upset and emotional, and that was two of the things she hated people seeing. Especially him. She hated being vulnerable. 
Seokjin sighed weakly. “Nana, come on, don’t be like that.” He hesitated, wanting to say sorry for today but the word wouldn’t come. Despite the guilt setting in, he was still pretty angry and frustrated himself. 
“I want to speak with Arin,” she repeated. “Will you let me?”
“Of course I will,” he replied. What did she take him for? 
He turned to Arin, ready to tell her it was her mom on the phone, but she was already waiting, her ears probably catching Nana’s name a few seconds previous. He smiled gently at her and passed his cell phone over. He tried to concentrate on the television as they spoke, not wanting to eavesdrop. Arin was uncharacteristically quiet as she hummed along to whatever Nana was saying, the occasional okay and I know slipping from her lips as she curled a lock of hair around her finger over and over again, but he understood why. Today had been overwhelming for everyone involved but especially her. She hadn’t seen or heard them argue in a long time, both he and Nana careful to hide them from her as of late. Today had been an awful mistake and the now a stronger wave of guilt was eating him up. 
After a few minutes he heard Arin tell her mother she loved her and then she hung up, returning the phone to Seokjin. He stretched over and placed the device on the coffee table, turning back to his daughter apologetically.   “I’m sorry about today, Arin.” 
She immediately flung herself into his arms, wrapping hers around his sides to hug him tight. He squeezed her right back, running his fingers through her hair gently. “Daddy was really angry, I shouldn’t have shouted.” 
“Mommy shouted too,” she reminded him. “She was angry that I called Y/N my stepmom.” Hesitantly she looked up at him, her eyes wide with worry. “I didn’t know it was wrong.” 
Seokjin sighed gently, trying to see things from Nana’s point of view. “It’s not a wrong word. It’s just a word that hurt your mother’s feelings.”  Arin looked a little confused by that explanation, and suddenly Seokjin felt the urge to be as honest as he could with her. She was still young, yes, but she wasn’t stupid. Far from it actually. She deserved not to be kept in the dark. 
“She… she didn’t know that Y/N is my girlfriend.” 
“Why?”
“I was wrong and didn’t tell her.”
Arin stayed silent as she mulled his words over. After a few moments she simply said, “I didn’t know that.” 
Seokjin ran a hand down her back, choosing his next words carefully. “Will you tell me what happened today? How mommy found out?”
Arin wriggled away from him to get comfier, sitting back against the sofa again. Seokjin copied, lifting his arm up so she could cuddle up to him. “She asked if I had a new bracelet and I told her Y/N had bought it for me last weekend when I stayed with her.” 
Looking down at her wrist now, Seokjin saw no bracelet and he guessed Arin had taken it off in a bid not to hurt her mom even more. She was such a sweet child, always thinking of other people’s feelings. 
“Mommy asked who she was and I said she was my stepmom – only because Suzie told me that’s what she is. Suzie has one too and it was fun because then we both had stepmoms.” 
Seokjin nodded along in understanding. “It’s okay, it was only a misunderstanding. But to use that word it needs to be discussed first, okay?” 
It was Arin’s turn to nod and Seokjin continued carefully. He was well aware everything was up in the air now so it hurt hearing the words that came out of his own month. “Right now Y/N is just Y/N. Before we use that word we have to make sure she likes it, alright? And mommy too.” 
“I didn’t know.” 
“I know you didn’t,” he comforted, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He wasn’t even too sure she knew what exactly the word meant. 
They both stayed silent for a little while before Arin spoke again. “You and mommy haven’t argued for a long time until today…because I said that word…”
“Hey,” Seokjin exclaimed softly wanting her to look his way. “We didn’t argue because of you. None of this is your fault, okay? It’s my fault and I’m really sorry.” 
She gave him a small smile and patted his head. “It’s okay, daddy. I still love you.” 
He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. He could always count on his daughter to cheer him up. “Thank you, Arin.” He kissed her cheek. “I love you too. Very much.” 
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The new week started off badly. He had been foolish to think Mondays were something of a fresh start, foolish to think calling you first thing in the morning was a good idea, and as you told him you needed some space and that you’d call him once the week was over he couldn’t help but think the worst. You’d insisted that you weren’t mad at him, and you had no reason to lie to him, but there was no doubt you were upset… overwhelmed. That morning he’d woken up even more ashamed of the way he’d acted the day before, wincing as he remembered the way he’d lost his temper. He’d sworn that he would never let that side of himself appear ever again, but it was easier said than done. Nana had struck a nerve with the way she had spoken to you and it had been impossible to keep his cool. 
He felt deeply ashamed when he thought about how confused you must have felt watching he and his ex-wife hurl abuse at each other. Deeply ashamed when he thought about the way you’d found out things he had never told you… You were hurt he’d never let you know what triggered his divorce, and he understood why completely. It wasn’t like it hadn’t crossed his mind to share such a personal detail with you, it had, of course it had, he just couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Your experience with infidelity was the complete opposite of his. You had your heart torn to pieces by your ex-fiancé and he had his ego bruised… His marriage with Nana had already been completely over, he just didn’t have the guts to get out. She was correct, he was a coward through and through. 
But most of all he was deeply ashamed of his behaviour entirely. He had never meant to compare the both of you. He had never meant to use you to hurt Nana. It was extremely petty, such a low blow, and he didn’t know where it had come from. Rage had washed over him and he’d spat words that he couldn’t take back. It was the worst thing he’d ever done in his entire life, and despite the grievances he had with Nana, he regretted those words deeply. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her like that. It was shameful, and he felt horrendous for hurting both women with his foolish behaviour. 
Was there a happy ending after this? If Nana didn’t already hate him, she did now, and you were probably not too far behind. You’d seen him at his most poisonous, heard him use you to prove a point, found out things he’d kept from you, and learned he’d kept you a secret from his ex-wife. How embarrassed you must have felt… How confused… He’d made so many mistakes along the way, it was a wonder they hadn’t caught up with him sooner… 
He wouldn’t be able to bear it if you wound up hating him. Not when he loved you so much. He hadn’t even had a chance to confess yet, coming so close to it Saturday night but backing out because he was scared it was too soon. He’d made the decision there and then to tell you once he took you to Paris, getting swept away with the idea and the romance of it all, but now the regret for not professing his love that night was like a lead weight inside his chest. Would it have changed anything? Would yesterday have had a different outcome? 
And while he was regretting things, he regretted not letting Nana know about the relationship. Yesterday could have been avoided completely – maybe. 
The more he thought, the worse it got and by Tuesday he could feel himself spiralling. He knew the feeling all too well. Soobin had already worked out something was the matter. (His lack of morning shave a dead giveaway.) And that meant he was doing a terrible job at hiding his mood. He couldn’t have Arin sensing the same. She obviously hadn’t forgotten about the weekend and wouldn’t anytime soon, but he couldn’t make it worse for her. He needed to be there for her, as her father, not too busy distracted with his own misery. It was selfish. 
But he couldn’t suppress it all. He knew that was unhealthy. So, Tuesday night, once Arin was tucked up in bed sound asleep, he called the one person his former happiness had been neglecting for months now… 
“Seokjin,” Chaewon greeted, her warm voice laced with surprise. “Long time no speak.” 
He felt guilt immediately wash over him. “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.” It was stupid really, she wasn’t taking it personally, he could guarantee that, but nevertheless it was an emotion he was all too familiar with these days. 
Chaewon chuckled. “Don’t apologise for being happy and not needing me.” 
His heart twisted. 
She sensed his trouble. “Jin?”
He hesitated, looking down at the bottle of whisky sat at his desk. He was in his home office. “Something happened.” 
There was silence as his therapist processed his vague words before she pressed him gently, “Oh?” 
He took a breath. “Are you free to talk?” 
“Yes, of course.” 
“I’m sorry for calling you out of hours.” He apologised. “Don’t feel bad about billing me for this. I’ll even pay double.” 
“Seokjin, don’t be silly,” she told him softly.  “Let’s name this a friendship call. Now, what’s wrong?” She sensed the last bit of reluctance he was holding onto. “Come on, you can tell me anything.” 
He sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” 
“How about from the beginning?”
They spoke for an hour in the end, Chaewon listening attentively as he explained the weekend’s events. He left nothing out, or least what he could remember. He made no attempt to hide his wrongdoings or soften the story. He didn’t want to. He knew he had done wrong. She was sympathetic, but she didn’t mince her words when it came to her disappoint in him. 
After the argument he and Nana had gotten into just before Arin had moved in with him, he had worked hard with Chaewon to find a way to curb the anger he often felt when he and his ex-wife communicated. He thought he had been successful, but now he realised all he’d done was find ways to avoid it. He barely spoke to Nana unless he had to, a hello barely exchanged when she called in the evenings to speak to their daughter. A text shared to confirm when Arin would get picked up for the weekend, or one shared to cancel visits… He saw her even less. Jia, Nana’s PA and closest friend was the one who collected their daughter, and he knew it was because his ex-wife wanted to avoid him just as much. 
In the long term they had just been making things worse. That’s why last Sunday had been so bad. A build-up of every single frustration felt since the last time they’d seen one another, because no doubt Nana had her own list. It was a recipe for disaster. 
It felt good to confide in someone though, someone who knew him very well on a professional and personal level. Chaewon was amazing at putting him in his place so kindly. It was a gift really, and he appreciated it immensely. The older woman saw his negative traits but never judged him. She understood them and tried her best to help him with them. He guessed that was her job, but she did it so well it was hard not to see her as some sort of friend. 
That’s why when she asked to see him in person tomorrow he didn’t hesitate to free up his schedule. Truth was, he wanted it too. His mind was still clouded and he needed her insight. Her advice. He wanted a good night sleep too but he didn’t think that would be possible any time soon, no matter how much Chaewon tried to help him. Not when his sheets continued to smell like you…   
.
.
“It’s about time you both let go of the past.” 
Seokjin let Chaewon’s words sink in as he sat opposite her, nervously chewing on a nail. It wasn’t a habit of his, but it was somewhat of a distraction right now. A comfort. They should have let go of the past a long time ago. Maybe then they would have divorced sooner. Maybe then there would be less resentment…. 
“Arin is the one thing you have in common and you need to work together in order to be the best possible parents you can.” 
That cut his heart deep, a twinge similar to what he’d felt all week. Ever since you left. “I know,” he replied quietly. “It’s just…”
He couldn’t continue. Despite how he’d insinuated Nana was a bad mother, he didn’t think that deep down. They both loved their daughter equally, but that love was separate. It had been separate practically since she was born. Arin was missing their combined love, although she knew no different… 
“You need to let go of all that bitterness and resentment.” Chaewon continued. Words she had said fairly regularly for the last two years or so. “For your sake, for Arin’s…” But now there was a new addition. “…and Y/N’s.” 
Seokjin snorted. “Who said I haven’t scared her away already?”
Chaewon stare turned a little stern. “It was a shock to the system, anyone would need some time to process what happened.” When he stayed silent, she continued. “You have to make her see you’re trying your best to change things. You need to take responsibility for your actions.” 
“I will.” 
He wanted nothing more than to apologise profusely and answer any questions you had, but you’d requested time first and he was listening. He was just scared that time would work against him. He continued on, ignoring his deepest, darkest worry. 
“It’s not fair on her. She should never have witnessed all that, and it just drums in how unfair this has been to Arin her whole life.” Arin had been the witness to many an argument when he and Nana were still married. “I hurt the people closet to me because of my careless actions,” he concluded with a sad smile. Time after time. 
“And it’s not too late to change that,” Chaewon reminded. “Put a stop to all this nonsense.” 
Seokjin’s smile grew for a millisecond, feeling like a child getting told off. 
“Your marriage with Nana didn’t work out, that’s life. But you have a beautiful little girl together. That’s the most important thing, and it goes hand in hand with your own happiness.” She paused and then continued. “It’s very obvious that Y/N brings a great deal of that to the table.”
Yes, you did make him deliriously happy. He felt young again when he was with you. He felt invincible. Loved. He felt loved. 
“Concentrate on both of them – Arin and Y/N – and make some changes. Talk to Nana – civilly. Make this work and you can all be happy. I promise you that.” 
He had never heard Chaewon like this before, she was practically pleading with him. He let out a little laugh. “You make it sound so simple.” 
She simply smiled at him. “If you’re determined enough, it is.” 
.
.
“Mom wants to talk to you.” 
Seokjin looked at his phone outstretched in Arin’s hand with slight confusion. For the past four nights, ever since Sunday, Nana had spoken with Arin just before she had to get ready for bed. It was routine now, another avoidance, he exchanged a hello with her and then passed the phone on. Her tone less defensive as the days went on. Tonight had been the same despite his session with Chaewon this lunchtime. But to his surprise, maybe Nana was making the first move. 
He took the phone from Arin with a smile, not wanting to make her nervous. Usually he left her alone to speak to her mother, not wanting to pry or insert himself but tonight he was sat next to her on the sofa, replying to emails on his laptop. He hadn’t been listening at all, too engrossed with finalising details for an upcoming project, so of course it had come as a shock to find Arin passing the phone to him. 
“Hello?”
“I was just wondering if I could have Arin this weekend.” Nana totally bypassed a greeting of any kind, but she wasn’t demanding in her tone, nor defensive, it was just the way she was. She’d always been straight to the point, no time for pleasantries, and many years ago, when they’d first met, he’d found it highly amusing. 
“Um, of course,” he replied, taken back a little. He would be more than happy for her to have Arin. It wasn’t her weekend, but that had never bothered him before. He wanted Arin to see her as much as possible. It was only fair seeing as their daughter now lived with him. 
There was a brief silence before Nana spoke again. Had she been expecting him to say no? Surely not. But then again, after last weekend maybe her worries were valid. She found her bearings. “What time does she finish school? I’m taking Friday out, I’ll drive down and collect her.” 
Seokjin couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. Nana had not once collected Arin herself. “She finishes at 3.”
Nana hesitated, “Do you think they’d let her finish early?” 
“I don’t know… It’s usually only emergencies –”
“Never mind,” she stopped him. “There was just a bunch of things I’d planned, thought we could get a head start, it’s fine.” 
He glanced over at Arin who was watching him hopefully. It was obvious what their phone call had entailed. They’d been making plans for the weekend and Arin was visibly excited. He smiled at her. 
“I could always phone the school tomorrow,” he suggested to Nana. “See if it’s possible. Maybe she could skip the whole day?” 
Nana sounded ecstatic. Something he hadn’t heard in years. “Really? Do you think there’s a chance they’d say yes?”
He shrugged to himself. “It’s just one day, I don’t see why not.” 
Nana was busy thinking. “Maybe I could take tomorrow afternoon away from the office too… Pick her up at 3.” 
It was his turn to hesitate now, opening his mouth ready to suggest something. He knew he owed his ex-wife an apology, but over the phone just wouldn’t do. He needed to see her. He went for it. “Or I could do it for you? I can drive her to you.” 
“You would do that?” She sounded shocked. 
“If she’s allowed to miss a day then yes.” 
“Oh.” It wasn’t often Nana was left speechless. “Okay,” she agreed after a moment. “That would be great actually.” 
His attention went back to Arin then, who was practically vibrating with excitement next to him. His replies hadn’t given away much, but it was enough to tell her she’d be seeing her mother this weekend – and possibly skipping a day of school. He grinned at her and she clung to his arm. 
“Can I say bye to mom?” 
“In a minute, Arin,” he chuckled, amused by her eagerness. “We’re not done yet.” His next sentence was directed at Nana. “I’ll text you tomorrow morning and let you know what the principal said.” 
For the first time in god knows how long there was no malice or sarcasm attached to her gratitude. “Thank you, Seokjin.” 
He took it as a positive sign. Things were changing. They would change. 
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The next day he dropped Arin off at school himself. The plan had been to head to reception and ask if he could talk with Principal Jung in person, but after saying his goodbyes and watching Arin meet up with some friends in the playground he began to get second thoughts. What if he accidentally bumped into you? He was on pins even in the parking lot. He wanted to give you all the space necessary and the last thing you probably wanted to see was him walking towards you in the corridor. At work. 
No, instead he drove to his office, phoning the principal as soon as he’d finished up his morning meeting. Hoseok – as he’d been told to call him – was completely understanding. Seokjin didn’t even have to whip out the sob story about Arin missing her mom dearly. Dirty tactics were always the last resort, and he could talk a good game, but thankfully his skill wasn’t needed today. Arin was all set to go this evening. 
The drive wasn’t a long one thankfully, just under an hour as Nana lived in the neighbouring city. This wasn’t the first time he’d been to Nana’s penthouse, the place she’d bought after they’d sold their family home, but the last time had been pretty explosive. Not nearly as bad as last weekend, but close. Arin had thankfully been waiting in the car for him that time, as he and her mother argued over where she should live permanently.  
Seokjin stood beside Arin in the elevator, feeling nervous for the conversation he wanted to have. He was never above apologising when he was in the wrong, but with his ex-wife saying sorry had never come easily. It was childish and he knew he needed to change, so today was the perfect test. If he wanted a clean slate he had to be as honest as possible. 
“Mommyyy,” Arin squealed as she opened the door to greet them, barrelling into her practically. 
Seokjin stood back as they hugged, a soft smile on his face. 
“Arin, I missed you,” Nana informed her, breaking away to take her bag. As she did so, she glanced at Seokjin, then back at their daughter. “Listen, darling, go to your room for a little while so I can speak to daddy.” 
Seokjin felt a little relieved. At least they were on the same page – potentially. 
Arin though, was unsure, looking between her parents as she spoke. “I don’t want to. What if you argue again?”
He felt his heart break at her words. “We won’t, sweetie,” he reassured, bending down to look her in the eyes. “I promise.” 
She still looked dubious, but then Nana took over, her voice light and breezy.  “We won’t be long, okay? Think about what pizza you want to order for dinner.” 
Arin’s eyes lit up at that request and Seokjin couldn’t help but chuckle. That pizza obsession of hers was getting dangerous. “Okay,” she agreed easily, waving to him before she skipped off to the furthest part of the apartment. 
Seokjin watched her leave before rising up again, tugging down the ends of his jacket. Nana was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face, but he knew it wasn’t anger she was feeling, so that was a plus. He thought back to Sunday, how mad they had both been, how upset Nana had looked as she’d rushed off. The guilt came back. 
He exhaled. He might as well just bite the bullet. “I’m sorry for calling you a terrible mother. I didn’t mean it.” 
Nana stayed silent but her arms wrapped around herself. It was such a vulnerable action, it took him by surprise. 
He continued. “I was just frustrated. I let things build up and exploded.” 
She stared him straight in the eyes, shoulders sagging a little but her voice was strong. “You know I love our daughter half to death.”
“I do,” he agreed. “I don’t doubt that.” 
She look relieved. It made him feel oddly sad. He had never wanted to make her doubt herself as a mother. He was a piece of shit. 
Still, she needed to understand some things. His point of view and where he was coming from. His frustrations weren’t all for nothing. They were valid. “But you have to understand I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces when you end up cancelling on her. It takes its toll.” 
Nana’s gaze flickered to the floor as she whispered. “I’m trying to be better.” Then she looked up again, her voice stronger. “I’m trying to free my weekends up. I’m trying not to do as much. I thought maybe I could even have her for an evening every weekday? I could pick her up from school, take her out for dinner. I know it’s a distance but maybe I could get every Wednesday afternoon away from work... Hopefully.” 
Seokjin was impressed. Nana lived and breathed work so to hear she was thinking about possibly taking an afternoon away every week was… It made him very happy. “She’d love that,” he grinned genuinely. “She misses you a lot.” 
Nana couldn’t help but smile too. “I miss her always.” With a slight chuckle she continued, “This apartment is so quiet without her.”
Seokjin looked down at his feet and grimaced slightly. He knew that feeling all too well. Living without Arin had been close to torture after the divorce. Everything felt so silent, the house gigantic and lonely. He hated the thought of Nana feeling the same way. “You can see her any time, Nana,” he murmured. “I’ll never try to stop you.” 
Despite everything, their grievances toward one another, they had and would always co-parent well. Arin was their number one priority and she needed both parents in her life. 
“I know that,” Nana nodded, “and I’d never try to take her from you.” 
It didn’t bear to think about, but he had to admit, sometimes it was easy for irrational thoughts to creep in when someone was left feeling insecure. 
“She loves living with you. She’s really settled at her new school, she never stops talking about her friends.” Nana continued, making small talk of sorts. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d done this. “She’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.” 
Seokjin nodded in agreement. She loved her new school, her new friends – her new life, you could say. That was easy to see. 
Nana cleared her throat, dropping her arms to her sides. “I apologise too. I was out of line turning up at your door like that. I was just so mad... so hurt.” She took a few seconds. “I wish you’d just told me.” 
“I should have.” She was absolutely right. “I see that now and I regret it. It was wrong of me to keep my new relationship from you. I wasn’t doing it to be vindictive. I just...” he stopped himself. Even though they weren’t excuses, they felt like they were. His reasons didn’t matter.
“You should have been the first to know because of Arin. If I was in your shoes, if it was the other way around, I would have been angry too.” He stopped and sighed at his stupidity. “I never meant to hurt you, neither did Y/N. She actually had no clue you didn’t know until that day.” 
Nana’s eyes widened with shock, before she looked regretful. “Yeah, that one makes me feel even guiltier. I shouldn’t have spoken to her the way I did. It was a shock to hear Arin speaking about a stranger like that. A stranger I had no clue existed.” 
Seokjin appreciated her apology, but he needed to make sure she understood something. “Yeah, about that, Arin really has never called Y/N her stepmom. We’ve only been together for a few months. I spoke to her about it and Arin understands that’s not the case. It was just kids being kids.” 
Nana nodded. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle, and I should have listened to your explanation the first time around.” 
He held her gaze. “I’m not trying to replace you, Nana.” 
If that’s what she was worried about, it wasn’t the case. He had never meant to compare the two women and he regretted it deeply. 
Nana’s lips quirked up at the side, her voice relaxed and at ease. “But eventually Arin will call her that.” 
His eyebrows shot up, understanding what she was getting at. “I don’t know,” he shook his head. His relationship with you was up in the air right now. He’d made one too many mistakes. 
Nana brushed him off with sway of her hand. “I guess I’ll learn to deal with it when the time comes.” 
He admitted defeat. “And I’ll have to do the same.” 
It was inevitable really. One day Arin would probably have two blended families and while he really wanted his to be with you, he didn’t want to get his hopes up right now. 
Nana snorted. “Fat chance of that happening. I don’t have time to fall in love again.” 
He stayed silent, unsure what to say. He’d thought the same once upon a time. Until you walked straight into his life. (Or, more fittingly, until he’d reversed straight into yours.) Everyone deserved love in their life and he hoped that one day his ex-wife would find it again. 
She was looking over at him sadly now, eyes softening, and it was almost jarring to see her show this much emotion in front of him. “I did love you, you know,” she murmured before laughing quietly at herself. “I felt like I never told you enough, but in the beginning it was good, right?” 
“It was.” Seokjin hated getting nostalgic, in fact, he actively avoided it, but in this moment he let himself go. Ten years ago, he and Nana had fallen hard for one another. It was fast and exhilarating but – “We just…” 
“Rushed into things that weren’t meant to be?” She finished for him. 
He’d been so eager to marry before he was thirty, to follow in his parents’ footsteps. He wanted, no, needed, to become CEO.  He needed to build something he could be proud of, and having a family fit into that logic. He’d had tunnel vision, but it wasn’t all bad. 
“I can’t regret it though,” he told Nana softly, “because we made Arin.” 
“At least we agree on one thing,” she chuckled. 
“Yeah,” he smiled. 
It was strange speaking like this with one another. He couldn’t even think of the last time something similar had happened. They were always too busy at one another’s throats, not listening to what the other had to say. Now all that fight had gone. They were both exhausted from years of bitterness. Years of fighting. 
He didn’t want to fight anymore. 
Nana seemed to think the same. 
“I’m ashamed she had to hear us fight like that,” she said. “I apologised on the phone but…” 
“She’s okay.” He reassured. “I think she still thinks it’s her fault a little though. I’ve tried telling her it wasn’t repeatedly.” 
“I’ll talk to her over dinner.” 
“Good idea.” 
There was a pregnant pause before Nana chuckled. “This is the first time we’ve spoken so civilly in a long time.” She hesitated, wanting to say something else. He waited patiently, curious. “Maybe we should think about talking it out with a professional?” 
He raised his eyebrows. It wasn’t a bad idea actually, but then… thing seemed to be working out well on their own right now. “Maybe we should see how things go first? Now that we know how one another feels.” They weren’t out of the dark yet, but it was looking hopeful. “But if you think it will help then I won’t refuse,” he added, wanting to show how seriously he was taking this. 
She smiled slightly. “Okay, we’ll see how things go.” 
It seemed like the conversation had run its course then, and Seokjin shuffled, about to suggest he head out now, but Nana spoke again. “Are you okay?” She asked. “No offence, but you look like shit.” 
He laughed, actually laughed, at her words. He could always count on her to be honest with him. “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” he admitted, “but talking with you definitely helped.” 
She eyed him doubtfully. “I hope I haven’t ruined things with you and Y/N. I can talk with her if you want?” 
“No, it’s fine,” he shook his hand. 
She looked down, feeling foolish. “I guess I did enough damage.” 
He chuckled. “No, pretty sure I did that all on my own.” 
Looking up, her mouth opened, as if she was about to ask him what he meant but stopped herself at the last second. She wasn’t there yet, and neither was he. 
He took a step back. “I should go.”
Nana went to follow him to the door. “I’ll have her back by Sunday. Do you want to say goodbye?” She saw his nod and called for their daughter, her voice echoing off the walls. “Arin? Arin, darling, come here and say bye to your dad.” 
A few seconds later he heard Arin’s footsteps getting closer, she hovered by the entryway, looking worried for a second, as if she was expecting the worst but then she saw her parents smiling faces and relaxed instantly. 
“I’ll see you Sunday, okay?” Seokjin told her as she made her way towards him. He reached to pick her up, something she scolded him over sometimes because it was “embarrassing” now. She was getting older, he kept forgetting, because to him she would always be his little girl. This time however, she let him do so, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed his cheek. 
“Okay, bye daddy. Love you.” 
“Love you, too,” he grinned, kissing her back before he put her down.
Nana watched on with a grin of her own. 
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Being home alone was odd. Seokjin couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on his own. In the week Misook was here to help out with Arin and the housework, then every other weekend she often dropped in when he needed her. When the house wasn’t occupied by his daughter or Misook, you were here with him, so it had been quite a while since it was just him. It reminded him of the past, when he’d lived here all alone. He never wanted to go back to that. 
He was happy to see Friday roll around. It felt like he’d been waiting all his life. Just one more day and he’d get to speak to you. The lack of communication was killing him. Ever since you’d began dating you’d spoken every day. It felt strange to be without that, like he was missing a part of himself. He’d been able to distract himself with work throughout the week, but no amount of distractions could really stop him from thinking about you. Stop him from missing you. Because he did. Terribly. 
The photo on his desk didn’t help matters either – the two of you smiling together on the fishing trip he’d organised over the summer – but like hell was he hiding it away in a drawer. 
It was probably best that Arin was with Nana this weekend. It gave you both some time to talk and sort things out – hopefully. He was praying so hard that everything would be okay, but he was getting ready to fight for you. Just in case. Of course he would listen to what you had to say, and respect it too, but if it happened to be bad news he would try his best to make you see how sorry he was and how hard he was trying to change. He couldn’t lose you. Not when he loved you so much.
You made him want to be a better man. 
.
.
He got home pretty late from the office, staying just to avoid an empty house and after having a quick shower and ordering takeout, he decided on an early night. This week had been mentally and emotionally draining so it was probably for the best. Plus the sooner he slept the sooner tomorrow would come. 
He’d just stepped out of the bathroom when he heard his phone ring in his sweatpants pocket. He pulled the device out automatically, expecting it to be Namjoon, because who else would be calling at this time? But to his surprise and utter amazement, he saw your name flashing across his screen. 
His heart began to pound embarrassingly loud and he rushed to answer, sounding a little breathless as he murmured your name.
“Hey, you,” your replied, and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice. His shoulders instantly released the tension he hadn’t realised they’d been holding. 
“I wasn’t expecting you to call tonight.” He heard himself say, cursing himself because it sounded so dumb. He was over the moon you’d decided to call. Of course he was. 
“Sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” 
“Of course not,” he rushed. “Well,” he laughed, “I was just about to head to bed.” 
You laughed along softly, the sound making his heart sing. “I was going to wait until tomorrow but Soojung is with Taehyung tonight and being alone means I can’t stop thinking about you.” 
He couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that slipped past his lips. It was so good to hear you say that. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week. Are you ready to talk? I’m willing to answer any questions you have.” He meant every word. 
“I’m ready,” you replied. “Should I come over? I don’t want to do this over the phone.” 
“I can come to you?” He suggested instead, not wanting you to go out of your way for him. “Arin’s with Nana until Sunday.” 
“Oh. Okay. Now?” 
“It’s not too late?” 
“No, it’s fine.” You sounded a little eager and that just made even more relieved. He’d been expecting the worst all along. “I really want to see you.” 
He smiled, happiness overwhelming him. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Really soon.” As he spoke he made his way into the closet, opening up his drawers to find a clean t-shirt. 
“Don’t speed,” you told him jokingly.  
“Of course I won’t,” he laughed. “I’m going to hang up now but I won’t be long.” 
“Okay, see you soon, Seokjin.” 
He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he said his final goodbye, his heart racing with excitement as he tore off his old shirt to put the new one on. It was a little creased, but it would do. He didn’t have time to find anything else. 
He needed to see you. 
He needed to be with you. 
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sinner-as-saint · 4 years
Text
Power Over Me - 1
Bucky Barnes x Reader AU
Run-through: CEO James Buchanan Barnes is a dom. And he’s spent the last 5 years searching for his perfect sub. Then one night, he finds you. He thinks everything will fall perfectly into place now; but he thought wrong. Turns out your unfortunate past which still haunts you to this day, and some of his enemies are well connected. Things go wrong. And your bond with your dom is tested in almost every way…
Themes throughout the series: dom/sub dynamic, smut, dirty talk, angst, fluff
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Bucky let out a sigh of boredom and tiredness as he walked into the club.
He unbuttoned his suit and thanked himself for having left his tie in the car itself because he truly, desperately needed to relax after an entire week’s work. Being the CEO of his own flourishing company was nice and all, but managing all those branches and employees and partaking in all those meetings and conferences all the time were taking a toll on him.
Yet, he walked in with a little hope in his heart. A hope, which only diminished as time went on. Bucky had everything; money, power, respect. But he was incomplete. He was a dom, and his last relationship with a sub happened five long years ago. He’s had casual, normal sex countless times since but he was never satisfied. Never truly satisfied.
Bucky walked into the dimly lit BDSM club, which was owned by one of his close friends who shared the same lifestyle as him. The only difference was, all his friends had their subs, only Bucky didn’t.
The club was more or less like an elite, private strip club – only instead of strippers and dancers, there were subs who waited to be chosen by which ever dom would like to have some private time with them. Or play a scene in the playrooms. At the end of the night, there was always a line up – where doms chose who they were interested in. Bucky had been here countless of times, but no one ever caught his attention. He never felt drawn to any of the girls.
See, Bucky was a slightly more complex man. He was what one calls a soft dom. His friends, who all shared the same lifestyles, playfully teased him about it all the time. But Bucky never changed despite the jokes. He wasn’t like other doms who were into public humiliation, or hardcore scenes, or who had strict regimes and timetables for their subs to follow.
Of course, Bucky did have his fair share of rules set and ready for whenever he’d find his perfect girl but they were rules which could be bent. He believed it’d be much more enjoyable and fun that way.
 The atmosphere of the club was similar to how it always is. Some doms took part in scenes with one or more than one subs in one of the many open play spaces; which Bucky was never necessarily fond of. He had attended many scenes, but he was never one to take part in it. There were equipment scattered nicely around the room. Most people were in the lounge area, on the dark red couches and chairs; subs on their doms laps, or other knelt beside their masters. Everyone was doing their own thing, playing roles in a healthy, consensual manner, knowing that this was their safe, little secret space.
And there Bucky was. Lonely even though he was surrounded by people. As he looked around, seeing the expression of content and delight on all the other doms’ faces, it did make him envy them a little.
I would treat my sub much better than they treat theirs. If I had one. His inner voice spoke up.
He walked further in, eventually joining his friends at a table. People walking around, especially the women threw curious glances at him. Some were provocative, some were less. Everyone was dressed differently; some in suits, ladies in gowns, subs in anything ranging from latex lingerie to nothing at all. It used to be overwhelming, but now it wasn’t. He was comfortable, right in his element. Just lonely.
He was in the middle of a conversation with Sam when someone, out of nowhere, caught his eye.
Wearing a short, but not too revealing, figure hugging brown dress; you stood by the stairs which led to the private playrooms upstairs. Alone, with your head hung low, fingers intertwined; you stood politely. It seemed as though you were waiting for something, or someone. Bucky watched you. Five minutes went by and no one, no man approached you.  
Bucky eyed you a little more for a while. You had no collar on. Your hair was perfect, he could only imagine burying his entire face in it or wrapping it around his fist and tug on it. He could imagine how pretty you’d look on your knees. You shyly looked up for a brief moment, and Bucky’s breathed hitched in his throat at the sight of your face.
Oh my. What a lovely girl!
He tried to shift his focus back on what Sam was talking about but he couldn’t. He was bewitched. In a trance. Like he had found all the answers he ever looked for. After five long years, something sparked in him. A desire, or a need rather. A need to have you, and have you hand over your control to him. Just one look and Bucky longed, he yearned for something he hadn’t even touched, or experienced yet – you.
He got up from his table after a few minutes, and made his way to you. Your head was still hanging low, so you didn’t notice his arrival until you realized you were looking at a pair of dark shoes.
 You tensed up immediately, knowing that someone stood in front of you. You wanted so bad to just lift your head up and see what he looked like, but you couldn’t. Never make eye contact unless you’re told to. You had been trained so, years ago, by your previous Master.
Bucky scanned you one more time; definitely no collar, no necklace with initials on, no bracelet – nothing. Perfect. You weren’t taken… yet.
He spoke up. “Hello beautiful, what’s your name?” he asked, softly. His voice almost made you tremble, in a good way; you weren’t trembling in fear in front of him like you did with your previous Master. But you didn’t reply, instead you shifted your gaze back and forth from his shoes to yours. You waited.
Bucky realized that you must be one of the subs who received very stern training. So he spoke up again. “You may speak, sweetheart.” He said, and expected a reply this time. He watched you intently as you parted your lips, your tongue quickly wetting them before you replied to his question.
“Y/N.” you politely said your name. Your voice sent chills throughout his body. It had been long, too long since he’s been with a sub. Bucky feared he might be rusty, but seeing how your body reacted to his presence alone, he was sure he did just fine.
He chuckled lightly, in an approving manner. “That’s a pretty name. Would you, Y/N, like to accompany me upstairs?" he asked again, referring to the private playrooms upstairs. You were quiet, processing. He was leaving the decision on you? How odd. Your previous Master never did so.
All Bucky got was silence. Part of him was disheartened immediately, thinking you would reject him. Then he remembered, “You may speak when asked a question, doll.” His tone was just a little less playful than previously. It was an insignificant change, but you caught it. Just like you did when your previous Master’s mood changed, you always caught and dreaded the change in his voice.
Calm down, this isn’t him. This isn’t him. This isn’t him.
“I wouldn’t mind that at all, Master.” You replied, somewhat monotonously. There was something about how you responded which didn’t sit too well with Bucky. Subs were usually excited and glad and looked forward to playtime, instead you seemed… afraid? He was sure he’ll figure it out by the time you were upstairs.
“Look at me.” He said, softly. You hesitantly looked up to meet a pair of pretty eyes. James Barnes? You had heard of him, even saw him at the club a few times. Oh lord was he handsome from up close! You lowered your eyes immediately, in fear. Never stare, it’s rude. You had been trained so. Bucky frowned. “I said look at me, doll.” his voice was much firm but he didn’t sound mad, not in the least.
You looked up again, and held his stare this time. You were shy, he could tell. He extended his arm for you to take. You placed the palm of your hand in his warm, larger one. “You will address me as ‘Sir’, understood angel?” his voice was calming, weirdly.
You nodded. “Yes, sir.” He smiled.
Bucky led you upstairs and into one of the private rooms. It was nice and cozy inside, dimmed lights – dimmer than downstairs, comfortable couches, lots of pillows and equipment and other toys. You were very much familiar with these rooms; you’ve been here before many times.
You hung your head low again, waiting for his instructions. He locked the door, let go of your hand, walked in and stopped in the middle of the room then turned around to face you.
“Kneel.” He said, using the same calm and collected voice from before. He wasn’t too overpowering, he was easing you into this, you could tell. You hurried and dropped to your knees on the floor right before him.
You waited. He scoffed, as if disapproving of something. You trembled, wondering what you had done wrong. You replayed the past few minutes over and over again as he moved away from you, walking over to the couch. Was he leaving? Why do you act like you’re stupid at times, huh? Your previous master’s harsh words echoed in your head. And you got all teary eyed just thinking about the man and how he handled your “stupidity.”
Bucky reached for a pillow. “Don’t you know you have to kneel on a cushion, you silly baby? Else, you’re gonna bruise your knees. We don’t want that, do we now doll?” he grabbed the soft pillow and walked back to where you knelt on the floor. Bucky didn’t think twice before squatting down and placing the pillow on the floor for you to kneel on. No dom had ever gotten on his knee for your comfort ever before, this was new to you.
But even then, he noticed you remained unmoving in your spot. He looked up to find you all teary eyed, and tensed. He reached out to touch your chin, you flinched at first – due to not so pleasant past experiences with impatient doms – but you recovered once you felt his soft, caring touch. You looked into his piercing but soft eyes, and you looked away immediately; unable to handle the intensity of it all.
When you looked down, you noticed the pillow. And you quickly scooted forward and knelt on it instead of the cold, hard wooden floor. “Sorry, sir.” Your voice trembled a little. Your hands were shaking a little, and Bucky noticed. He didn’t like it.
He grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted your head up so you had no choice but look at him. “Who did this to you?” he asked, waiting for an answer.
Bucky could clearly see that someone must’ve taken advantage of you, or they must’ve treated you poorly. You were so tensed and scared. You understood what he meant by the question, and many memories came flooding back in. Memories of him. Your previous Master. The first master who claimed you, collared you, trained you and the only one to have done so up till now.
You looked into Bucky’s eyes and wondered what to say.
“Tell me, baby.” he urged you to talk. Baby…
You fidgeted in your spot, your heels digging into your butt cheeks. “My… master. The one, um, I was with before. He…” you trailed off, not knowing how to describe him. Was rough? Too rough? Didn’t care about boundaries, didn’t respect limits? Didn’t believe in aftercare? There was so much you could say about him but you couldn’t vocalize it all.
You didn’t have to. Bucky understood. He had seen cases like these, where one wanna-be, terrible dom messes up and scars a sub for life. Bucky was angry, not at you, but at whoever the hell it was who had taken advantage of your submission, instead of cherishing it. The idiot, whoever he was, must’ve made you think that doms were to be feared. When in reality, that wasn’t the case. That was never the case.
Oh my sweet, sweet angel… Bucky’s heart broke just looking at your broken state. You were lost, confused between what you wanted and what not, what you could do and what not. You had been fed lies about this lifestyle, and in that moment Bucky knew he could never let you go. He couldn’t leave you, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did.
Bucky didn’t let go of your chin, and you were alright with that. You let him. “Hey,” he said softly, leaning in closer to you, “it’s okay, my little pearl. There’s no need to be afraid anymore. I’m here, now. You’re here with me, don’t think about anything else.” He spoke, looking you deep in the eyes. He meant it all. “We’re here for you. For your pleasure, remember that.” he sounded so lovely and caring. “Nod if you understand.”
You nodded, wondering how could it be that you relaxed just by looking into his eyes. He was… calming. All of him was; his voice, his stance, his demeanor – he dripped of power and authority but he was also nurturing and sweet. A deadly combo. But a great one.
“Good girl.” He complimented you. You could see the stark difference between him and your previous Master. With the latter, compliments were rare, so rare. Practically non-existent. But with Bucky… he complimented you just for nodding. You felt warm and good; something you hadn’t felt in years.
You realized then that you wanted him. Bad. You needed him.
“Now tell me, sweetheart,” he spoke slowly. “What to do want?” he urged you to answer. He waited, longing to hear those words from your pretty lips.
“To please you, sir.” You answered. Warmth washed over both of you. Bucky smiled, and moved his hand from your chin to your hair. He slid his fingers into your hair gently, massaging your scalp for a few moments before standing up again.
He looked down at you, as you slowly lowered your eyes, focusing back on his shoes. “Go ahead, angel.” He gave you the green light. And you tried your hardest not to seem impatient as you unbuckled his pants and lowered it just enough to free his cock. The sight of his thick cock had your mouth watering in need, but this wasn’t about you. This was about showing him how well you could please him. And you intended on leaving a good impression.
“Open up, sweetheart.” He watched how you parted your lips and inched forward; wrapping your hands around his cock and placed your mouth on his tip; your tongue slowly circling his tip.
Bucky slid his hand into your hair and grabbed a fistful of it; tugging on it gently and slowly pushed himself deeper into your mouth just a little, the rest he left it up to you, for you to take at your own pace. “Don’t rush baby, take your time. I’m right here with you.” He whispered, with his cock halfway into your mouth.
You didn’t waste any time, inch by inch, you took him in. He fit, surprisingly, into your mouth perfectly, despite his delicious size. You looked up at him, he threw his head back and exhaled loudly. He looked back down at you. “Be a good girl for me, come on.” He said, softly.
You hollowed your cheeks and bobbed your head around his tip; taking him in and out of your mouth, he hit the back of your throat each time you took him in.
You kept your eyes on his perfect face as you sucked on his cock. He closed his eyes momentarily, lips parted and gasping as he tilted his head back. He looked majestic. “Fuck…” he moaned and you quickened your pace. “That’s it, sweetheart.” He whined and looked down at you. “Oh look at you go.” He sounded breathless.
His taste invaded your senses. And you liked it. Oh you liked it. The sounds leaving his mouth fueled the fire in you. You were doing that. You were making him feel good like this.
He bucked his hips forward very gently into your mouth, and loved the sight of your spit coating his cock, and how your mouth stretched and struggled just a little to accommodate him in your mouth. You looked magnificent on your knees, taking him perfectly. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this good, and complete at the same time.
You felt all of him against your tongue and you repeated your actions again and again, hollowing your cheeks. The gasps and moans which escaped his lips made you squirm and it only added to the dampness which was forming in your underwear. And his praises… oh his praises.
“You look so pretty on your knees, angel. So pretty.” He moaned and panted and tugged harder on your hair. “Come on that’s it, show me how much of a good girl you can be for me.” His words made you tremble in the best way possible.
Yes. Yes, I’ll be your good girl. All for you. You felt it then, the connection. You wondered if he felt it too. The need to give in to him burned inside you. You wanted to surrender completely, to him, his praises, his loving words. He was so kind, so caring… so soft.
He quickened the pace at which he moved in and out of you; eager to chase his orgasm. He twitched against your tongue and you tasted some of his pre cum. Your hands toyed with his balls, and he hissed. “That’s it, my angel. Come on, take me. Take all of me.” He murmured, urging you to speed up.
Bucky gently pushed your mouth down on his cock, you struggled to breath for just a second but then you grew accustomed to it. You relaxed your throat and allowed him in deeper into your mouth. The sounds he made were glorious.
He swore under his breath as you took him out and dragged your tongue over the slit on his tip very lazily before taking him back into your mouth and suck on his cock until he felt his orgasm building nicely. He looked down at you. So perfect. So perfect it hurt, and he just wanted to take you away from here, away from everyone else’s hungry gaze and protect you with his life.
He pulled himself out of your mouth abruptly, and tugged gently onto your hair, which was wrapped around his fist. Your spit mixed with his cum coated your lips, your eyes watered just a little and he chuckled when he saw the excitement in your eyes. You gasped as he pushed two fingers past your lips. You welcomed them in and treated them the same way you had worshipped his cock merely seconds ago.
Bucky watched with his own lips parted. Fuck… his cock twitched, missing the warmth and softness of your wet mouth already. “Will you be a good girl and swallow all that I give you, doll?” he asked, chest heaving a little, he was on the edge, you could tell.
You nodded frantically, his fingers still in your mouth. “Answer me, baby. Will you?” he asked again, removing his fingers to let you talk.
“Yes sir.”
He didn’t waste any time, he pushed himself back into your mouth and let you do your thing. You welcomed his familiar taste and size.
You wrapped your arms around his thighs and sucked on his cock until he came; spilling his warm load down your throat. You focused on swallowing all that he gave you. He came with a moan and a sigh, closing his eyes and relishing the warmth of your mouth wrapped around him. You swallowed all of him, licked him clean and zipped his pants back up and buckled his belt again.
And you waited, still on your knees on the cushion before him. He smiled down at you, enchanted. I found you.
“You did so good, angel. You were perfect.” He ran a hand lazily over your hair, smoothing it down given it had gotten all messy since he tugged on it. Once he was done, he spoke again. “Stand.”
You listened, and kept your head down. “Time to go downstairs now baby, okay?” he gently caressed your cheek. You looked up, and he could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat.
“Yes, sir.”
 ---
You two got downstairs, and he before he could say anything to you, you were pulled away from him by one of the managers of the club. Bucky could only watch as the middle aged woman dragged you away from him, chiding you for being late or something of that sort. Bucky was confused for a minute. He was initially planning on asking you if you’d like to come home with him. But before he could, you were taken away from him to God knows where. Then he realized.
Oh no. They were taking you to the line-up.
 The line-up was nothing new to you. You visited the club weekly for years now, you had gone on that stage so many times to line up with all the girls who were at the club. There was not much to do once you were on stage, you just had to stand there and let the men or the couples choose whoever they liked.
You wondered if Mr. Barnes would be in the audience. Would he? No, he must have found someone else by now. Men like him wouldn’t waste time on line-ups. Regardless, the hope burned in a corner of your heart.
The line-up was important, whoever got chosen the quickest got paid the most by the club. If not, then you return home empty handed. Home… you didn’t have a home. Home is where you’re supposed to feel safe, and happy and loved. What you had close to that was a shabby apartment that you share with 2 other roommates.  
As the manager tugged you rather harshly along to get you to the line-up in time, you did more thinking. Most girls when they get chosen go immediately with the one who chose them. Then they come back, usually after a couple of weeks.
Or sometimes the masters shared and exchanged amongst themselves, with consent of the sub obviously. One girl, however, stayed for longer with a dom once. 3 months. Everyone thought she would never return, that she had found her one true dom, her master. Which is what every girl here dreams of – finding the right one. To surrender to, to give up complete and utter control to. Someone to complete them. You longed for that too, silently.
Earlier, with Mr. Barnes, you had had a brush with what that feeling might be like. To feel complete. To feel joy and happiness in pleasuring your dom. In surrendering to him, letting him know it was okay for him to play with you as he pleased.
Oh Mr. Barnes… you were so lost in thoughts of him that you didn’t realize you weren’t walking anymore. The manager wasn’t tugging on your arm. She stood still, speaking to someone on her phone. You were right there, so you eavesdropped.
“Who did?” she spoke through the phone. “What’s the name?” she paused. Then her eyes widened, “Oh.” And she seemed like she was trying very hard not to look your way.
What?
“Did he really?” she spoke again, and paused. “Damn. Tell him I’ll be right there. Yes, I’m bringing her along.” She ended the call rapidly.
Her? Were they talking about you?
She turned to you. “Change of plans, no need for you to get to the line-up.” She said, dragging you to the opposite side of the stage where the line-up is usually held up.
“What? Why?” you thought of everything all at once. What is happening?
The manager turned to look at you briefly, and you saw something resembling envy in her eyes. Envy? Really?
“Because someone already wants you.” Her words echoed in your head.
Someone…wants you…
Could it be… could it be Mr. Barnes? Oh…
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vroomvroomkachowboi · 3 years
Text
The Gift of Magi
smut, fluff, angst: fluff ig
pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem)
word count: 1.8k (1897 specifically) 
summary: it’s valentine’s day soon, y/n decides to sell something to get draco a gift, since she’s poor, she sells a valuable item to buy him something,  and draco’s gift relates to the item she sold  (this is based off of that one christmas story “the gift of magi”, except its valentine’s day and draco is obviously not poor)
warning: i think curse words, and i barely proofread my one shots so, and math sort of   
a/n: i hope y’all know what story i’m talking about because then it would be embarrassing for me lmao. (if you’re confused just search up mickey’s once upon a christmas, you’ll probably recognize it) omg the amount of math i had to do for this one shot is ridiculous,  but i’m actually really proud of this, also he won’t be very draco-like 
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Valentine’s Day would be a lot sooner than later. The day of love would be here in 2 days and Y/n still needed to buy a gift for Draco, her boyfriend. Unfortunately, she was just as poor as the Weasley family. She felt bad, Draco loved to spoil her even on regular days, since the Malfoy’s were filthy rich. She just wanted for their first Valentine’s day to be perfect, she almost couldn’t send him anything during winter break. He, however, sent her many gifts that she wasn’t expecting. She just knew Draco was going to spoil the shit out of her for Valentine’s Day.
Thankfully it was Saturday, and she could go into Hogsmeade, and fortunately for her, Draco had to stay at Hogswarts to study for an important test in potions class, which gave her some time to go and look for a gift. The first place she’d go is to Honeydukes, she’ll buy him his favorite candy first and see how much money she’ll have left over and find him a suitable and cheap present.
When she arrives at Hogsmeade, she runs into Honeydukes and begins collecting all his favorite candies, she paid for them and left, trying to find a store that sold a good enough gift for her boyfriend. From the corner of her eye, she saw it.
The perfect gift for Draco.
Her friend had told her about a new jewelry shop at was right by Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. She walks over the window to get a closer look. On display, at the window, she stared at the ring. A silver snake ring. It had a real Victorian style, the snake would loop around his finger 3 times, each scale was defined from the tip of the tail, to it’s end of it’s face, and the snake had emerald eyes. It was truly meant for Draco.
Her heart dropped when she looked at the price. 150 galleons?! How would she afford the ring, she only had 20 galleons left, and she had to save it for a while, where would she get 130 galleons?
She began to fidget with her necklace. A habit she did when she was nervous. It was a gorgeous minimal gold necklace with a moon on it. She found it on the street when she was younger when she visited the muggle world as a trip. Draco loved it as much as she did.
Coincidentally she saw a sign at the window saying “We buy jewelry as well!”, the idea popped into her head at that moment.
She walked in and saw the beautiful jewelry around her, she never got to go into stores like these since she barely had any money, she became so distracted in the beautiful earrings on display, that she didn’t notice a middle-aged woman standing right next to her, not until the lady cleared her throat for her attention.
“Hello, young lady. How may I help you today? Looking for something in particular?” The lady spoke in her strong London accent. Y/n blushed in embarrassment. “Yes. I’m getting a present for my boyfriend. I saw the sign, and I want to sell this,” She said, unclasping her necklace, and handing it over to the lady. The lady put her glasses on, which made her eyes look twice as large, as she inspected Y/n’s necklace. With a wave of her wand, the lady tested for real gold in her necklace. The woman looked at her necklace for a good minute before looking back up at Y/n.
“It is real gold. I will give you 140 galleons for this.” The lady said. Y/n eyes widen. That was a lot of money! She didn’t even know that she had something so expensive hanging around her neck for so long. For a moment, Y/n thought about saying no, but she thought about how perfect the ring would be for Draco and said yes. The lady handed her 140, giving her in total, 160 galleons.
“Is that all I can do for you miss?” The lady asked. “Uh, I saw that snake ring in the window. I’d like to buy it please.” Y/n said to her. The lady opened up a cabinet on her side of the table. “Size?” She asks. Y/n tells her Draco’s ring size and pays her the 150 galleons. Leaving her with 10 galleons left over, she leaves Hogsmeade and goes back to Hogwarts to prepare Draco’s gifts.
Valentine’s Day finally arrived. Draco had his owl send Y/n a letter, telling her to meet him at Astronomy Tower after the end of classes. She waited all day to see her boyfriend, unfortunately, they didn’t have any classes together, but he did say hello in the morning, and they both pecked before telling each other “Happy Valentine’s Day”.
But finally, the end of the day came, and Draco and Y/n planned on eating their favorite foods and exchange gifts at the Astronomy Tower. She ran out her final class, and into her dorm. She wanted to get all dolled up for the date, she did her makeup and put on a cute and date-worthy outfit, since it was a date and Draco was always dressed up in one of his black suits. Finally, she put on an outfit she felt and looked good in and she knew Draco would also enjoy it too.
She went up the spiral staircase that led up to the tower, Draco was there, leaning on the railing, wearing his all black suits. She let her presence be known as she ran up the stairs, Draco saw his girlfriend’s head pop up and smiled.
Before they said anything, Y/n ran up to Draco, and threw her arms around his neck, embracing him in a bear hug, he returned it by wrapping his arms around her waist. One of his hands made it’s way up to pet her hair, “Hey love, happy Valentine’s Day.” He whispers. She let go of his a little to face him but connected her lips with his, which he immediately kissed her back, holding her face with one of his cold, large hands.
“Come sit, darling. I brought you’re favorite, y/f!” He says and lets go of her. He sits on the large blanket he brought, and she sat on the opposite end, with their foods sitting between them. They talked and laughed for a while, until he brought up the topic of gifts. “Can I go get my present for you, my love?” She nods. He gets up and grabs something from a dark corner. He pulled out a huge teddy bear, a box of all her favorite candies, and a bouquet of all her favorite flowers.
She knew it. Draco did go all out for her, she can’t say she surprised. “Awe thank you, Draco! Wow, you didn’t have to get me so much.” She says. “But I wanted to darling. I love to spoil you, the look on your face is all worth it. Plus I don’t mind, I have plenty of money.” He says back. She gets up and grabs Draco’s hands, kissing both of them. “Thank you, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.”
She saw Draco’s heart melt right there, she kissed him before he said something cheesy. As always, Draco puts his skinny pale hand to her face when they were kissing, something she always loved. “I love you.” He says as he pulls back. “I love you too, Dray.” She says, smiling at him.
He looks down at her outfit, “I forgot to mention, that I liked your outfit love. You walked in, and I thought I saw an angel.” She laughed at his words. “Thanks, baby. But enough with the cheesy compliments.” They both laughed at her words. “I didn’t get you as much as you got me, I only got you 2 things.” She pulls out her purse, pulling out all the sweets she bought at the shop. His eyes lighten up. “Awe love, you got all my favorites in here!” He thanks her and puts the baggie of candy down on the blanket with the food.
His brows furrowed in confusion. “Uh, wait. I thought you said 2 gifts?” He questions. Pulling out the box containing the ring, she hands it to him. “I really hope you like it. I almost couldn’t get my hands on it. I saw it at Hogsmeade when you were studying for the potions test. I saw it at the window, and I thought, ‘that was made for Draco.’” She says, suddenly feeling nervous about Draco if liked the gift she got him.
Draco smiled as he pulls the ribbon, and opened the box. He gasped and looked at her, and back the ring. He grabs the ring and slipping onto his left ring finger. “Oh Merlin, Y/n. I love it! But it looks expensive, how much was it?” He questions, suddenly curious since he knew she was just as poor as Weaslebee.
“I sold my necklace for it. I didn’t even know my necklace cost 140 galleons! I wanted to make our first Valentine’s Day perfect...” As she rambled on about the necklace and ring, Draco’s smile dropped, and Y/n noticed it. “What’s wrong, Dray? I know you liked the necklace but I did it for you.” Draco didn’t say anything, only to pull out a white rectangular box from the inner pocket of his jacket.
He hands it to her, and she opened it skeptically. Now she knew why he was so upset. To match her necklace, Draco brought her gold star dangling earrings and gold charm bracelet with the planets. Y/n didn’t know whether to be happy or upset, she loved her gift, but now she felt dumb for using her necklace to buy his ring. “Shit, Draco. I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.” She says, she couldn’t even look him in the eyes, just stared at the floor.
“Y/n, I understand you don’t have that much money, you don’t need to buy me expensive gifts for you to show your love to me. I already know you do, I would’ve been content with the sweets. I love the ring though, I was just really surprised.” He says and uses his hand to get her to look at him. Her eyes were watery, she was at the verge of tears. “I just wanted to make our Valentine’s day perfect. You spoil me so much, I just wanted to do it in return.”
He whispers a “It’s okay darling, come here.” And pulls her in for a hug. She returns it back, just wanting to feel his arms around her. “I was gonna gift you this,” She pulls back to pull out her wand and whispers, “Accio photograph.” In just a second or two, a framed photo landed in her hand. Draco grabbed it and look at it.
It was a photo of them two the first month they started dating, they made silly faces and laughed in the photo, Draco smiled at the memory. “Awe, darling, I love it!” He says, throwing his arms around her. She does the same and apologizes again. “Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll just buy it back, for you.” He whispers and pulls his head back a little to kiss Y/n. “I love you, happy Valentine’s Day darling.”
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limitlessgojo · 3 years
Text
Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 13)
Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood
Previous Chapter: Goldenrod
Next Chapter: The More You Know
Next SFW Chapter: Big White Lies
Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader
Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast
Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, specify if you're okay with nsfw posts or not, and please mention it in the comments below ty ❤
Chapter 13: Home Sweet Home
That weekend you went back home. It was so refreshing to see everyone. You yelped out with joy as you ran over to your cousin “Hiroki niichaaaan~” You jumped into his arms.
He hugged you tight. “How have you been doin lil sis?”
“Very good! I missed you all so much, especially you Hiroki nii." You pouted up at him.
You caught up with your family, had meals with them, and trained with Hiroki. They were most curious about your soulmate, as you have expected.
“What’s he like? Aren’t people from the big 3 clans so stuck up all the time? Even Satoru is full of himself at times, ey?”, Hiroki asked you with a mouthful of food.
“He isn’t too bad to be honest. He’s a gentleman and sweet with me. Decent man. Just, seems a bit like the private type? I mean… Doesn’t talk much about his family even though we are soulmates. Oh I’ve already talked to him about you guys.” You added.
Hiroki tilted his head, “Ehhh… mysterious huh.”
“Give him time. The Kamo Clan aren’t the most open minded people. They’ll feel you out before allowing you in.” Your dad said.
“Even though I’m his soulmate?!” You exclaimed.
Silence. “We don’t know what they’re thinking so we can’t say for sure.”
◇◇◇
“Heh, you’ve gotten better lil sis,” Hiroki dropped low and thrusted out his spear. You jumped and immediately shifted your stance to land a kick on him. He easily parried and slipped out of your range.
Your family specializes in dealing with reverse cursed techniques aside from the occasional esper. Hiroki was only a semi-grade 1, because he trained his ass off for years.
Now that he’s built, he uses cursed tools to help him fight. A strong 185cm man can definitely handle close combat well. And in terms of healing abilities, he was number 1 in the clan.
It was only the women in your family that were able to inherit psychokinesis for some reason. But usually it only applies to a specific thing. Like how your mom can control plants. And your other aunt does with small metallic items like coins and darts.
Mother approached you after your sparring session. "Does he make you happy my dear?" Your mother asked you. Hiroki drank quietly from his water bottle.
You thought about it. The past few months were not easy but really colorful with Noritoshi. Minus the nagging feeling of him covering up his family affairs from you.
But… "He does. I feel so safe with him ma. Like I do with all of you. He is family to me now. I think I really like him and I trust him with my life." You whispered out.
"Then next time, bring him here. We will gladly welcome him with open arms." Hiroki smiled at you and leaned into your side.
◇◇◇
You went to visit your dead older sister’s grave just before you went back to Kyoto Jujutsu High School.
It was just you and Hiroki. You both cleaned the grave, trimmed the weeds, changed the flowers, burned fresh incense, and said your prayers for Sora. It was such a clear day with barely any clouds. The sky was so blue.
Just like her namesake.
Hiroki left you to give you some privacy, saying that he’ll pick you up in 2 hours.
You took a deep breath. “Sora neechan. It’s been a while. Sorry I couldn’t come to see you as often, because I’m currently a student at Jujutsu High.”
“I met this guy. He … So he is my soulmate. The first time I met him, I thought he was pretty. As I got to know him more, I felt as if there was a reason as to why the heavens chose him for me you know? He is really cool, but so warm and sweet with me. I think I’m a little bit in love with him.” You admitted.
“I’m really scared to lose him. After I lost you, I just… it was hard… I try my best to be cheerful and helpful really. But it gets tiring at times. I’m glad I was able to make a lot of friends who understand the life of a Jujutsu sorcerer at least. I tried to open up to Noritoshi a bit more. But it’s hard because he seems so closed off at times.”
You had mixed feelings, because you promised Noritoshi you would trust him more. That means working on anything that bothers you regarding your relationship with him. But can he accept it if you tell him that you want to know more about his family? He already clearly stated he needs more time.
“Am I being too greedy and hasty Sora? I want to support his clan affairs, even if it's just a tiny bit as his soulmate. He seems so troubled with it all the time. Like he wants to carry the burden all alone. I want to help, but he doesn’t really let me. I don’t know. I wish you were still here with me.”
“Last time I asked him about his parents, he snapped at me. Of course he apologized. … Maybe it’s all just in my head. But I do want to meet his family. Eventually. Though at this rate I have no idea when. Everytime I ask about them he just shuts up.”
“Falling in love is way too hard….”
The wind blew as if to agree with you. The leaves rusted in a circular dance just around the grave. You smiled.
You bid farewell to your family after the weekend. Hiroki hugged you tight and whispered, “I hope it gets better for you and Kamo kun soon enough.”
You looked up at him, “Yeah, thanks bro.”
◇◇◇
You texted Noritoshi and let him know that you were on your way back. He said he was free for the evening and that you could come over to his room.
You knocked on his door with anticipation. You opened the door, “I'm back, Toshi!” He pulled you into a tight hug and closed the door behind you. “I missed you. Come in. How was your family? Sorry I couldn’t go with you again.”
“It’s fine! They’re all okay and excited to meet you next time.” You looked up at him. He looked a bit regretful, “Next time I’ll make sure to properly clear my schedule with my father so I can go meet them okay?”
“Ah, okay.” You both walked over to his table and knelt down on the floor.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while,” you started. Noritoshi looked on intently. “I’ve already told you about my family right? Mom and dad and my other male cousins. Ah, what I didn’t tell you before was… I used to have an older sister. I - uhm. Well she died after being attacked by a curse. I … I hope to bring you to her grave one day.”
Noritoshi’s heart dropped. He pulled you in close. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m sure she is proud of you. Of course I’ll go with you to see her next time.” He was now highly regretting choosing to do some useless tasks for some of his clan’s elders instead of spending the weekend with you.
You gripped his clothes tighter. “Thank you, that really really means a lot to me.” You started tearing up, but you blinked your tears away.
"Oh! My family and I have gifts for you. I'm not so sure if you'll like it. It's a Coral and gold bracelet. Everyone in my family has one. It's almost like tradition for us, and we believe it to have a layer of protection. I also brought Jade here for you." You presented the bracelet alongside the Dragon carved Jade Pendant hanging on a thick white gold chain.
Noritoshi's eyes widened. The jewelry was stunning and looked expensive. He may have been favoured as the heir to the Kamo clan, but even he didn't own so much expensive jewelry.
He sputtered out “I appreciate it but I can’t take something so expensive and precious-”
“Noritoshiiii,” you whined out loud, making him stop talking. “You don’t want to accept such a precious gift that I picked out for you?” you whined with the largest puppy eyes.
“No, I- I am grateful. Thank you, I’ll accept it.” Noritoshi conceded.
Got him. You grinned madly as he shook his head. “You’re a dangerous one,” he muttered under his breath. “What was that?” you asked him absentmindedly as you worked on unclasping the bracelet to put it around his wrist. “Nothing, nothing at all dearest.”
You narrowed your eyes at him before grabbing his wrist and putting it on for him. It was a perfect fit. You thanked yourself for loving to hold his hand so much that you knew his general hand measurements.
His hands down to his wrists were so pretty. You didn't realize that you were playing with and smiling down at his fingers until he opened up his hand and linked his fingers with yours.
Slowly, carefully. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing Noritoshi had experienced. Now that he had embraced his emotions and tried to open up to you, it was a bit better now.
'Is this what love is? I don't know since it's my first time experiencing it.' Noritoshi wondered to himself.
It was in the smallest of things with you. He loved the way you would call out his name with loving eyes. The way you would always greet him first before the other senpai. The way you give him coffee and kisses on late and cold nights of studying.
The way your hair smells. Your perfume. The way your eyelids flutter shut when he kisses you. The tightening of his chest and shortness of his breath made apparent whenever he was with you.
The way you don't ask for too much from him. Just that he shows his love to you either by his actions or words. The comfort he simply feels when he is beside you.
He really just needed some time, and seeing you around more often really made up for it.
He ticked the inside of your palm which made you shiver and yelp. He laughed out loud at this and pulled you into his lap, hugging you tightly.
Staying quiet, you buried your head in his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, and it was faster than you expected. But soon it went back down to a steady rate.
"Your heartbeat is so steady, but mine is always wild around you. Noritoshi I feel kinda embarrassed to be honest." You admitted, fingers curling into his kimono.
He smiled and his heartbeat quickened to match yours. You looked up at him in confusion. "Did you just…" He just leaned down to rub his nose against yours. "I am a blood manipulator. I can manipulate my pulse rate darling." You huffed out a laugh, feeling warm and fuzzy.
"I love you." You said suddenly. He stared in shock at your words. You realized that you said it without intending to. But you didn’t take it back.
"Kamo Noritoshi I'm madly in love with you." It wasn't a sudden realisation of being in love. You slowly fell for him again and again each day.
Noritoshi’s brain short circuited.
Suddenly he was kissing you. Tongue slipping into your mouth and playing with yours and rubbing along the roof of your mouth.
You tried to fight his tongue for dominance, but you ended up surrendering, your back bent back with your face turned up towards him.
You clasped your hands around his neck as he pressed deep kisses against the top of your chest. Your face was flushed as you fell limp against him, gasping out heavy breaths. "I'm not going anywhere angel." Noritoshi whispered against your neck, hands tightening possessively against your waist.
‘Please wait a little longer for me. Until I can confirm that these feelings for you are indeed true love.’ His thoughts went unsaid.
The one thing Noritoshi promised to himself is that he would never lie about his feelings for you. To him, the worst he could do was to confess his love without actually being in love with you.
Blood Bound: Table of Contents
54 notes · View notes
give-seconds · 3 years
Text
Sweet Lies
Summary: Sungchan wants to tell you something but is scared to do it face to face. So, he decides to write you letters telling you everything he wants to say.
Paring: Sungchan x female reader
Genre: Angst 
Warnings: cheating
Word count: 2.3K
---
Hi y/n,
I don’t know if you’re ever going to get these. I mean, as of right now, my intention isn’t to give you them. I guess these letters, like the reason they even exist, are for me. Through these letters, I hope to tell you everything I wish I had the guts to say to your face. I wish I could say this was all a mistake and that I could man up and beg for your forgiveness. But it isn’t a mistake. This is a conscious decision I made once and am continuing to make again.
Maybe you’ll even forgive me.
Love,
Sungchan
----
Good morning y/n,
You were gone when I woke up this morning. You wrote me this cute little note about how you had some special surprise planned for me today. I’m sorry, I’ll have to cancel. I already have plans today. I already know what I’ll say to you. I’ll say something about how my work assigned me to a special project and that I have to work late to help design the framework or something like that. Really though, it’s her birthday today, and I promised I’d spend it with her.
I wish I hated myself enough to stop.
Love,
Sungchan.
---
Hi y/n,
It’s kind of funny, actually. Today, you were telling me about a song you found that “is making its way” to becoming your favorite song. It’s a song from the cheater’s point of view. After you played it for me, you said you didn’t know if you could ever forgive someone who cheated on you. That you should be enough for someone, and if the person you’re dating doesn’t realize that, then they’re not someone you would miss.
After that, I was so stressed, I called her as soon as I got home. Her voice is the only thing that can calm me down when things like this happen between me and you.
I’m sorry,
Sungchan
Hi y/n,
Today the guilt I felt was too heavy. I called into work sick and spent the day stuffing everything you’ve ever given me into a box. It was too loud. One of the last things I put into the box was our undergrad graduation photo. It’s only been two years since then, but we look so young. Maybe it’s because I look at that photo and think how soon after that, we started our relationship. Back then, you were the only person I could see myself with.
Five months ago, I met someone who made me feel like that again. Those feelings are still there for you—I hope you never think I lost them. I just found someone who holds an equal part in my heart as you do.
Know I love you,
Sungchan
—-
My Dearest,
You showed up at our front door crying. Judging from the frantic knocks on my door from Jungwoo, you scared him pretty bad. Not many can scare Jungwoo like that; he must really like you.
Anyways, after a cup of hot chocolate, you told me what was wrong. You said your dad had another kid with another woman and that he’d never told you about it. That when you were young, he used to have “conference meetings” with the other higher-ups that lasted a few days.
He was really visiting his other family. Your mom even knew about it; you were the only one who didn’t know. You said that you’ve never been hurt by a lie before. While drying your eyes, you decided lies were the worst thing. That from here on out, you are going to live as honestly as you could. You then asked me if I was hiding anything from you and begged me to tell you if I was. “I can’t handle any more secrets, Sungchan. So if you have anything you’re hiding from me, please, please just tell me. I need to get it all over with now.”
I almost cried when you said that, and I’m thankful you couldn’t hear the lie in my voice when I said I wasn’t keeping anything from you. There have only been a few times the bracelet she’s given me felt like it was burning my skin. At that moment, when you begged me to tell you anything I was hiding, it felt like my wrist was on fire. As soon as you left, I practically ripped it off.
I love you, and I’m so sorry,
Sungchan
---
Hey love,
I was looking through these letters today before I went to bed (I’m writing this one as a spur-of-the-moment thing before I go to sleep), and I realized I’ve only been writing about how I hate what I’m doing. And while that is true, I don’t want you thinking that’s the only emotion I feel. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I don’t deserve to be anything close to the good guy. With that being said, I owe you the truth. But if hearing me talk about my relationship with her is too painful, I suggest skipping this letter.
I met her about six months ago at a flower shop. It’s the shop I bought the flowers I got you for your birthday. She helped me pick them out. Now I don’t know what came over me, but when she asked me who I was getting flowers for, I told her they were for my mom. Before I left, she gave me her number. I almost threw it away, but right before I let go, something stopped me.
I felt something for her, and I still do. It felt like what I felt for you when I first started realizing I liked you. The immediate feeling of comfort that comes when I hear her voice, the blinding smile, the beautiful personality. It was all the same as when I met you.
I’m not trying to say she’s you; she’s more emotional when it comes to watching movies (I still want to find one that’ll make you cry, I know there’s one out there), and she’s a bit more hyper than you are. But the point I want to make is, the things I feel for you, I feel for her. I don’t know how much that’ll mean to you when (if) you read these, but know I feel so much for you. You were the light of my college years, and you continue to brighten my day.
But so does she. She knows things I don’t and can open my mind to a whole new world. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and it’s frankly amazing.
I’m trying hard not to talk too much about her in this—I don’t want you to think she’s better than you. I just want you to understand that no matter how many times I talk about how much I hate myself or the guilt I feel, I continue to tell you and her lies. As long as I have you two by my side, I’ll continue telling lies.
You both mean so much to me,
Sungchan.
---
Hey y/n,
This letter will be pretty short; I just wanted to tell you what a good day it was today. We spent the whole day together, which always feels therapeutic. I bought us lunch, we went go-carting (I beat you because you were too scared to go fast, it was great), and we looked around at different shops before we went back to my apartment to have dinner with Jungwoo.
It just feels right being with you, and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life. I think we’re a good fit, and so do you. It’s nice to be with someone who thinks so similarly to me, and I can’t get over how well we fit together. I mean, when you left, Jungwoo couldn’t stop talking about how lucky I am to have found someone who fits me so well.
I’m kind of rambling at this point, but I feel so much love for you right now that I wanted to put it down somewhere.
Thank you for being the person you are and loving me like I love you,
Sungchan
---
I’m so sorry,
I thought it was important I let you know right off the bat that I am sorry. Yesterday, I forgot about a date we arranged. We were out looking for a birthday present for her younger brother and got distracted looking at all the different shops. I never even heard the phone ring when you called. You called me five times before you texted and told me you were leaving. You had even tried to make a joke sending me a text that said: “at least we didn’t make reservations.”
Then today, I bought you flowers and told you that I was busy showing the intern around. That I had to do it on a Saturday because he’s from our office in Japan and takes Korean lessons on the weekdays. We do have an intern from our office in Japan here, but I’m not the one showing him around. You told me it was okay and that you understood, but I could tell you were still really hurt.
I feel like an idiot. I know cheating is bad, but I told myself that when I got into another relationship, I would never forget a date with either of you. That was the only standard I was trying to hold myself to, and I failed.
I’ll try harder to never forget a date again,
Sungchan
---
Hey y/n,
I think this is the last letter I’ll get to write to you. Well, I don’t think, I know.
You came to me today, asking what I was doing last night. I lied and told you I was at home watching TV. If there’s anything I will never forget about that conversation, it’s how you looked at me. You had smiled, nodding your head as you looked at me with teary eyes. You looked heartbroken.
When I tried to hug you and ask what was wrong, you shook your head no and backed away from me. Now that truly broke me. So I asked you what happened and you told me about how someone you knew saw me at the movie theater with a girl. You asked me to tell you who the girl was, and I begged you not to do this. I said that if you did this, it wouldn’t end well. That all the memories we had made together would be tainted.
You laughed and told me it wasn’t your fault the memories would be tainted; it was mine. You then asked me again to tell you who the girl was, and I told you what I had done.
I’m not sure when I started crying, and I’m still crying as I write you this letter. You were crying too as you told me we were over. I asked you to listen to me, and you just shook your head. As you walked to the door, you told me you would come by tomorrow to give me the stuff I keep at your house that I should pack up everything of yours. That’s how I’m going to give you these letters.
You also told me that if I’m still a decent person, I would tell the other girl about you. Believe me, after seeing your reaction I want to. But I can’t lose you both. Maybe soon, the guilt I feel when I look at her will make me strong enough to tell her.
Believe me, I know how selfish that is. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I’m so sorry, and I love you,
Sungchan
---
Sungchan,
I couldn’t even bring myself to say something like “hi” or “dear,” you’re not dear to me anymore. That’s not to say this doesn’t hurt; I still can’t believe you did this to me. I mean, I thought I knew who you were.
I’m not writing this to tell you it’s okay or that I understand you through these letters. I’m mostly writing this because I don’t think I can face you right now. Again, I will never understand how you could do this. I thought I knew you. We’ve known each other for four years, two of which we were dating, and I still can’t believe I don’t know who you are. So while I don’t blame myself for this, I can’t help but wonder. If I knew you better, would you have been able to lie to me for so long?
I hope you know you’re not the hero here. You wrote that one letter about how you didn’t think you deserved to be the good guy, but you wouldn’t be writing these letters if you didn’t think you were justified in some way. You were in no way a decent person, and I hope you remember that.
You also tried to say you loved me throughout your affair. If you loved me, we wouldn’t even be having whatever this is right now. If you loved me, you would have told me about her when I asked you to tell me if you were hiding anything. If you loved me, it would have been you who told me about your cheating and not a coworker. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? This lady who I only talk to on occasion now knows my boyfriend didn’t value me enough to be committed to our relationship. She only knew what you looked like because she happens to follow me on Instagram and saw all the photos of us I had posted. You don’t love me, and I hope you can stop lying to yourself.
And you’re right—you are being completely selfish by not telling her. So I decided I had to be the bigger person, once again, and tell her myself. I swallowed my pride and asked my coworker to look through your followers with me until she found the girl she saw you out with. I sent a message to her explaining the situation, and guess what? She believed me. You should be hearing from her soon—that is if you haven’t already.
Goodbye cheater,
Y/n
---
Thank you all for reading! I’ve been listening to Sweet Lies by EXO a lot lately, so I decided to write this. Thank you to @jiwvnie and @pastelsicheng for proofreading this for me! 
I would love to know what you thought about this, and I hope you all have a great day/night!
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captainsimagines · 3 years
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To Topple A Giant || Chapter Four
Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.
Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader
Part 4 of 10 ~ Mini-Series
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Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.
Warnings in this Chapter: reference to past sexual assault (very minimal); misogyny/sexism; mention of Infinity War deaths/Endgame deaths; abusive parental relationship; canon violence; heavy drinking; reference to cocaine use
Word Count: 13,900+
~
Tony’s Cabin, 2023, 8:56pm
      “Uh…”
You and Steve stared at the little girl in front of you, bouncing up and down with excitement as she held up one of Tony’s repulsors, the safety on but pointed right at the two of you. Steve instinctively pushed you behind him, the obvious fact being that a blast would most certainly kill you and not the super soldier himself. You were having difficulty holding in your laughter, watching as the girl kept poking at the metal, awaiting its true power. 
“Can I have that, Morgan?” Steve asked, his voice raising ever so slightly to try and seem nicer to the kid. 
“Talk to her with your regular voice, Steve. She’s five, not a toddler.”
“Yeah!”
Now you laughed at Morgan’s declaration of approval, still standing behind Steve with your hands braced on his back. 
Steve sighed and rolled his eyes playfully, “Alright, Morgan. Can I please have that back? It’s not a toy.”
“But daddy left it for me!”
You smiled at her, “Yeah, but he didn’t expect you to use it so early! Wait until you’re like… ten, then you can look through his things!”
“Y/N, ten?” Steve gave you a bewildered grin, eyes bright and laughter restrained. 
“Okay, twelve.”
His shoulders sagged with a heavy laugh. He reached over and took the chance, grabbing Morgan’s wrist softly and ejecting the glove from her small hand. 
“There we go!” you cheered, stepping out from behind Steve and scooping her up in your arms. Morgan started laughing loudly, kicking her legs to try and escape your hold. “Ah, don’t kick me!”
You had offered your time to Pepper whenever she needed it. You didn’t expect that she would call so early asking for a huge favor, her husband’s funeral not even four months ago. But you didn’t hesitate and packed an overnight bag, reassuring her that nothing would explode on your watch. On your way out of the temporary safe house, Steve had caught you just in time. A quick question of your future whereabouts and he was joining you, a tiny twinge of guilt in his chest from not seeing Tony’s daughter in so long. He was one of her godparents after all, just after Happy and Rhodey, beating out the third crowned position from Bruce. 
He had been hurt by that initially, asking why he wasn’t even considered. 
‘Bruce, the first time she comes into your room and stands over your sleeping body to let you know she had a nightmare, you’d scream.’
‘I wouldn’t be angry, just scared!’
‘Okay, after Cap here, you get custody.’
‘Oh, yay. Drafted fourth.’
Steve was happy to go see her on such short notice though, racing back up to his room to gather some overnight supplies as well. But you didn’t think anything of it - it was just a godparent wanting to see his godchild. 
“Ouch, that hurt,” you laughed and placed Morgan down in her bed. “Nighty night time.”
“Daddy said he left things for everyone, not just me.”
Steve’s eyebrows shot up with curiosity, a sudden interest to know what his gift was exciting him. He had already given him the shield back... but then Thanos broke it. Maybe, another shield? No, T’Challa had already offered to send him a new one.
“Ooo, that’s interesting! I wonder if he got me that pretty bracelet I saw in that department store window that one time,” you gushed, pulling the blankets over Morgan. You fluffed out her hair, smiled at her, and told her goodnight. 
“Night night!”
Both you and Steve called out from the doorway of her bedroom, “Night night!”
Several minutes had passed before you brought up the prospect of secret gifts again, knowing Steve was just as interested as you were. 
“Want to go find them?”
Steve immediately stood up, clapping his hands together and giddy with excitement. “I won’t tell if you don’t!”
“Deal.”
You searched everywhere - living room, the garage, kitchen cabinets - even racing into the master bedroom, stealthy and secret, shame rising as you carefully picked up items around the room. “This feels like an invasion of privacy.”
Steve chuckled from outside the door, “Hurry up!”
But you found nothing. There was only one more spot to look - his office. You almost didn’t want to intrude any longer, this being his most sacred space, but the mere chance of Tony giving you a gift from the afterlife made you extremely happy. So you and Steve searched, stacking and restacking random papers and pushing away gadgets and books in the bookshelf. Finally, a small opening in the third shelf alerted you of your mission success. 
“Oh, fuck yeah,” you cheered, reaching in and pulling boxes and clipped pieces of paper, all different colors and sizes, from the compartment. They were labeled with various names - Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, Clint, Thor, Steve, Nebula, you - and Natasha. 
Steve sucked in his breath, his gasp similar to yours. “He got these before…”
“Yeah,” you nodded, handing Steve his labeled box. It was light blue, a white ribbon delicately wrapped around it, and with a cute little red ribbon with Steve’s name on it. It wasn’t big, but it was more than enough. 
“Open it,” you said. 
Steve shook his head, “Let’s open ours together.”
You agreed to his terms, taking your folder into your hands. It was one of those same art folders you had when you bought some new planners or notebooks. It was black, custom-made it seemed, as it had your name on the front in gold, cursive writing. 
On the count of three, you both opened your presents. 
Steve pulled out two sets of dog tags from the box, the sound of them clinking together reminding him of the times he would hug his fellow soldiers on the battlefield, cheers of victory mixed in with the smell of sweat and dry blood. He read the names on the metal. 
‘Steven G. Rogers
987654320 T42 O
Brooklyn, NY. P.’
‘James B. Barnes. 
32557038 T41 42 O
R. Barnes
Shelbyville, IN. P.’
He had not known they recovered his dog tags, faintly remembering clutching them tightly as he flew the plane into the ice. But SHIELD must have kept them for the museum, and Tony had recovered them. Bucky’s, however, were lost as soon as Bucky fell from that train. They were more rusted than Steve’s, almost as if HYDRA kept them underwater or stored for the majority of Bucky’s sentence. But no matter how Tony had gotten them, he was eternally grateful. 
“Wow,” Steve said, clearing his throat. But you were too caught up in your reading. 
      ‘Target whereabouts discovered mid-May of 2017. Only T. Stark and N. Romanoff approved for mission.
      Transport at 20:00 hours. Target(s) confirmed and exterminated at exactly 0802 Pacific Standard Time.’
You choked on the sob that suddenly broke through, hand instantly reaching up to cup your mouth. Steve put his tags back into the box, shushing you to get you to calm down. “What is it? What’d he get you?”
Four pictures accompanied the short report, each face crossed out with red paint. A tiny laugh escaped and tears of joy started to flow. To say Steve was confused was an understatement. 
“He… he got me justice.”
Steve took the file from you, reading over every word to somehow understand what you meant by justice. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and he looked up at you for more explanation.
You brushed your hair back and rubbed at your cheeks, the smile on your face now straining. Whether it was a sudden change of mind or the closure of your trauma was just that satisfying, you told Steve exactly what Tony and Natasha had done for you. 
“After I joined you guys in New York, Fury sent me on a mission to infiltrate and bring back information about this dude my father was trying to literally destroy. But I had to play both sides  - the good and the bad.”
Steve set the file down, his full attention on you.
“I got the information but for some reason, it wasn’t enough for my father. I had forgotten to get the most vital piece, something he thought I would automatically know,” you scoffed, your smile faltering at the next part of the story. 
“I cost him ten million. And to teach me a lesson, he let these men do whatever they wanted to me. Anything.”
Steve’s breath hitched as he understood what you meant. And it was no longer a mystery why you had been planning to kill him ‘again’ after everyone came back from the snap.
“I returned to the compound in such bad shape. I only told Natasha. She cleaned me up, she took me to med-bay in the middle of the night, she brought me breakfast in bed,” you chuckled at the memory, hand reaching out to hold Steve’s. 
“And Tony’s gift was murdering the men that hurt me.”
Steve let a few tears slip himself, his hand gripping yours tighter. “Y/N, if I would have known-”
“Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t know, though. I thought only Natasha knew. She promised me she would take care of it. I just didn’t think she would actually find them.”
“I think we know that Natasha could find literally anything and anyone,” Steve said. 
You agreed with his statement, a smile returning to your face. 
You jumped from your sitting position and went back to retrieve Natasha’s gift. “Hey, should we?”
Steve eyed the small, black box in your hand. He sighed as he walked over to you, eyes returning to the box. 
“It was meant for her.”
You frowned, “Yeah, and I’ll ask Pepper if we can give these to everyone else.”
You paused and shook the box near your ear. It felt heavy in your hand, and the contents gave a little jingle. 
“But this one was for Nat. I think she’d want us to at least see it.”
Steve chuckled and just nodded, awaiting the reveal. You pulled the ribbon and opened the box, surprised that Tony had given her a piece of jewelry. “Oh.”
Steve took the bracelet from the box, oblivious that the movement would unlock the charms from their heavy chests. In a matter of seconds, charms of similar size but different designs dropped to encircle the silver band. You inspected them in Steve’s hand - a red/white/and blue shield, Mjollnir, a pair of wings, two arc reactors, a singular arrow, a silver arm, a spider, an emerald heart, the letters ‘W’ and ‘V’ intertwined, a black cat, an ant - and your symbol, an intricately carved silver charm no bigger than your thumbnail, of your face. Tony knew no specific object or symbol was tied with your Avengers status, no one had ever given you one, but this was perfect. 
“Wow,” Steve whispered, examining each charm closely with a lazy smile on his face. 
“We were her family. This was an ode to that.”
“What do we do with it?” Steve asked.
You just shrugged, “Frame it? It would feel wrong just taking it for myself.”
Steve agreed. Later that night when Pepper returned home, you showed her what Morgan led you to. She let you keep your gifts and take the others, absolutely loving the idea of framing Natasha’s bracelet in the new compound being built. 
Present Day, 2025, 8:10 am
     The bright light from the open windows hadn’t hit you as suddenly as the random throw pillow that connected to your face, startling you with a quick gasp and causing you to choke on your spit. You snapped up, belly down and hair wild, eyes still half-lidded as you searched for the aggravator. And he stood there with a stupid grin on his face, already dressed in his stupid old man clothes, and stupid blond hair perfectly pushed back. 
“What the fuck was that for?” you tried to yell, voice cracking at the end and just the slightest hint of drool threatening to spill from the corner of your mouth. 
“I ordered room service. Plus, we have to leave in an hour.”
You grabbed as many pillows as your one free hand could hold, the other still tucked into the pillowcase below your head. You flung them wildly, none actually hitting the super soldier directly. His chuckle pulled a deep groan from you, and no longer wanting to look like a fool, you stumbled out of bed and pushed passed him roughly. 
“You could have woken me up the same time you got up.”
“But you looked so peaceful.”
His sarcasm was not helping your souring mood. Steve headed over to the monitors to turn them on, already setting up the morning video chat with Bucky and Sam. “Do you always sleep like a mounted spider?”
You flicked him off, “Leave me alone so I can take my morning piss in peace!”
You slammed the door and made your way to the toilet. Now, you were no morning person. But it was simple enough for you to crawl out of bed with only minimal protest when your awakening was a peaceful one. Having a pillow thrown at your head while mid-dream was practically excruciating and no one, not even the grandest morning person in the world, could possibly awake happy from that. And to top it all off, you couldn’t even remember what you were dreaming of. Just another thing to blame Steve for. 
After you had done your morning routine and slipped into a really comfy outfit, the breakfast finally arrived. You muttered a quiet thanks to Steve for ordering your favorites and damn him for knowing you preferred waffles over pancakes and a variety of creamers to choose from, and quickly filled Bucky and Sam in on what the plan for the day was. 
You had been on missions with Steve before, but no matter how many times you regrouped in the mornings, you had never actually seen him wake up. After your rude awakening, you wondered at what point during sunrise he opened his eyes - ‘cause you’ll be standing over him with a pillow of your own. 
“Torres has the air footage scheduled for around five today, then he’ll link you to the camera for the remainder of the mission,” Sam clarified. 
“Is it possible to link earlier?” Steve asked. 
“Not unless you can get the Wi-Fi password of the estate.”
You chuckled, still funneling mouthfuls of waffle into your mouth. “So, we can hack the Pentagon whenever we feel like it, but we can’t hack into my father’s estate without the Wi-Fi password?”
Sam cleared his throat, “You are so lucky this is a secure line.”
“Wait until she finishes her breakfast and her head will be screwed back on straight,” Steve joked, taking a long sip from his tea. 
Almost immediately, your phone dinged with a new message. You angled your phone away from Steve but your smirk was enough to alert him of a side conversation happening under his nose. 
Bucky: Ouch, I wouldn’t mind if you hit him upside the head.
Y/N: he threw a pillow at me to wake me up :(
Bucky: hit him
Y/N: bet
“Stop talking about me over the phone.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Steve grumbled, the rough sound catching Sam’s attention as well. His eyes flashed back and forth between the two of you - Steve desperately trying to catch a quick glance at your messages, and you leaning away from him with thumbs moving at a rapid pace. 
“Y/N, how you feeling?”
You put your phone down and pretended to not notice how Steve was trying to get a glimpse of your screen. 
“A little queasy, in all honesty.”
A myriad of emotions were present and coiling in your body, each trying to sprout and bloom and gain their five seconds of fame. And for the past several years, it was easy to downplay their true power. Because the power they held wasn’t one of distressing strength, but rather one that tip-toed to the front of your anxiety driven worries. It planted itself there, up front, but ever so silent. For it to finally meet its match, to possibly be freed of such a coil - well, you were more worried about not succeeding in its erasure than its final blooming. 
“We’ve come up with a system to make sure we both don’t go overboard or to tell the other that we’re alright,” Steve said, eyes on the monitor but hands loading bullets into your trusty handguns. 
“Alright, that’s good,” Bucky spoke, finally. He typed away on his keyboard, “Give us a word we all use in case we need back-up immediately.”
“Mm, you should ask Steve. He loves his safe words.”
Steve rolled his eyes, “Something Avengers related? Or something no one would ever say?”
“Pick anything you want, just don’t let it be awkward to repeat out loud,” Sam joked. 
Steve pondered for a few seconds before he settled on his chosen word, a hint of a smile forming. “Widow.”
You nodded, “That’s sweet. She’d like us using her alias for a dirty little safe word.”
You huffed suddenly, shoulder colliding with the carpet, the realization that Steve pushed you from your chair causing you to stare at him with your mouth hanging open. “Hey!”
“Steve, every single day I accept your fate from her murderous hands,” Bucky grumbled, Sam’s loud laugh causing the speaker to give a quick halt of static. 
“She’s okay- hey!”
You flew across your chair and onto him, lunging your body as your main weapon in taking him down. You both tumbled to the floor, the sofa chair you collided with scraping along and pushing the coffee table with it. A lamp shattered on the floor right when you wrapped your arm around Steve’s neck and hooked your legs from underneath him and around his waist, his back to your front, both his arms coming up to tug yours out of reflex. 
“Yield, you little shit,” you grunted, the grip of your arm remaining loose on purpose but your legs tight, heels now digging into his slim waist. 
Steve groaned, both from your pointy heels and the sudden impact his body made with the ground. “I’m letting you win.”
“You seriously got a mouth on you.”
You let him go anyway, choosing to save your strength for the mission and not waste it on a petty little fight. Besides, you could always smother him with a pillow in his sleep. 
“You two done?”
Both you and Steve stumbled getting up, faces back in your teammate’s view as you smoothed down your clothing and wiped at your foreheads.
“Now that that’s over,” Sam continued, clearing his throat. “The only task for today is to get a feel of the place, establish a legit backstory providing you some leverage, and to swipe those ID’s.”
“Got it,” you acknowledged, standing again to begin hooking your weapons in discreet locations in your clothing. 
“And we’re not responsible for that broken lamp so it’s coming out of your paycheck.”
     California really wasn’t like any other state. There was a vast difference from Northern and Southern, the difference being the amount of green fields visible. In Southern California, the mountains and desert areas took up most of the landscape, with an industrial complex here, a growing city there, and then nothing for a good ten miles. Since most of the landscape was below sea level, the atmosphere was almost always dry, modest dust storms forming only to quickly pass a freeway and disintegrate once it found the other side. It was more urban, more lively with people. But Northern California, even if it experienced the same weather patterns as the south, was mostly humid during the winter season. The mountains here were covered in lively agriculture, livestock roamed freely in the gated areas near the freeways, and the overall environment provided a rural look. 
 And the differences just stood out to you, your excitement for the livestock starting to annoy Steve as you kept pointing out every cow you drove past. He threatened to stop the car and dare you to tip one. 
“So, how did we meet?”
Steve chuckled, “We’re coworkers, Y/N. Thought that question was obvious.”
You whined, “Steve, we have to put some drama into it! How about we say we met during one of Tony’s parties after Fury assigned you to this?” 
“And what? I asked you to dance?”
You leaned over your seat and poked his arm, teasing him. “Would you have asked me to dance?”
Steve shrugged, “I mean, sure.” 
He glanced at you and then back to the road. “Can’t we just be honest? I like the way we met.”
 You pouted, “The way we met is a matter of national security.”
   “You brought that thing back to an unguarded planet?” Loki seethed, his voice still a whisper as he followed Thor through the hallways of Avengers Tower. A tower he had been prisoner of for a few weeks now, but would soon be released from once Thor decided to return home. Besides, it had been more than a year since his unfortunate attack and after thousands of apologies, brainwashing excuses (which were true!), and quite a few long labor hours equivalent to Midgardian community service, his leash was extended somewhat. 
“How am I the more level-headed one right now?”
Thor grumbled in response, now on his hands and knees as he searched for the tiny animal that had already eaten its way through the plush of the interior walls. “It couldn’t have gotten far. And how was I supposed to know the oxygen levels here would cause it to go crazy?”
“You couldn’t. In fact, I don’t know why it’s here in the first place!”
“Keep screaming, Loki. I bet that would make it come to us quicker!”
Loki was about to come up with another quick quip, but was interrupted by a quiet mumble down the hall. 
“Oh?”
You rocked back and forth on your heels as you stared at the two brothers - one sweeping the floor on all fours and the other ducked down to scream into his brother’s ear. “Whatcha looking for?”
“Now, don’t be alarmed, Agent. But I may have misplaced my dog.”
“Dog?” Loki tilted his head, hands now cupping the side of his head in disbelief. 
Your eyebrows shot up from his reaction, “Not dog?”
“It’s… an animal from Asgard.”
“Okay, what does it look like?” you asked, now more interested than ever. 
Thor cleared his throat and rose to his feet slowly, “Like a dragon.”
You stepped back, almost tripping over your left foot. An involuntary laugh escaped from your lips and you brought a hand up to try and stifle it. “You brought a dragon into the tower?”
“He brought a dragon back to Midgard,” Loki clarified as he walked over to the wall and pressed his ear against it. 
“Oh, yeah. That’s much worse,” you agreed. “Fury’s gonna shove his foot so far up your ass-”
“Yes, yes. I know what awaits me. Now, help us find it!” Thor begged. 
This wasn’t how you expected to spend your first day as an Avenger. After all the training and promoting, the paperwork and oaths, you thought you would have a pretty chill afternoon. Arrive at the conference room, get the name badge and a rundown of your new field suit, and meet the rest of the team. Freshly nineteen and energetic as ever, you accepted this as a test. Find the dragon, make a good impression. 
It only took a few more minutes before you three stumbled on an otherwise empty hallway, staring down the colorful creature as it licked one of its paws. 
Your eyes widened, “It looks like an alebrije.”
“You have these creatures on your planet?” Loki asked, surprise written over his face. 
“Nope, alebrije’s aren’t real. They’re fantasy.”
“Nevermind that, help me catch it!”
Loki began shushing his brother, hands swatting his massive shoulders in the process. You leaned down to the floor and tapped it with your fingernails, hoping the nice gesture would cause the creature to meet you halfway. 
“Hey, buddy,” you cooed. “Can you come here please?”
The creature raised its head, colorful eyes on full display. Similar to rings of fire, but face like a fox, and fur as soft as silk. It titled its head, interested for only a second, before it kicked back and rushed toward the three of you at full speed. 
“Oh, shit-!”
As he was the closest, Loki pushed Thor to the wall and lifted you from the ground. But before he could throw you out of the way too, the creature leaped. Loki shielded you with his body, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up as the creature kicked his back and sent the two of you flying through wall after wall. Loki was taking the force of it all, his chest angled in a way to protect your head. It was about ten walls you two flew through before you landed in what seemed like conference room B… or C… or A. Loki rolled you over and groaned in pain. You landed on your back, bright lights blinding you as you tried to adjust. Then a figure came into view as your blurry vision cleared. 
You blinked rapidly and stared up at your new Captain. You smiled, a bit delirious, and raised your hand up for a handshake. 
“Y/N Y/L/N, new recruit!”
Steve just stared, eyebrows scrunched, an expression resembling a scowl and bewilderment painted on his face. He took your hand in his and shook it. 
“Forgive us, Captain,” Loki spoke, coughing as he turned over. “But you might want to get that shield of yours.”
    “When did we become a couple?” you continued once you agreed on the ‘party meet-and-greet’ as your previous answer. 
Now, this was a question Steve was wondering about since before you mentioned the necessity of such answers. Although he didn’t fantasize about being your significant other, he did wonder what possible event could jumpstart it. If anything, and he would take this to the grave, he assumed a line would be crossed during a particularly tempting mission. Bucky had admitted to him that on one mission, and Steve promised to take this to the grave as well, Bucky had to kiss Wanda to keep their cover. The feelings subsided soon after the mission was over, but Bucky confessed to real feelings developing. So if Steve had to bet, a particularly tempting mission. 
“When we were searching for Bucky?”
You nodded, “That works. We can say the fall of SHIELD basically led to us to realize how weak the system was and how we could easily manipulate it.”
The road veered off to the side, now dirt and unevenly layered. You checked the directions Torres gave you just to make sure. 
“And when is my birthday?”
You didn’t expect Steve to answer so quickly, and to get it right. Perhaps he looked over your file and remembered, because you were certain only your little friend group knew it. It was Bucky, it had to be him, the little shit, he told- 
“Surprised?”
“A little. How do you know it?”
“Nat. Who do you think sends you those chocolates every year?”
You were overjoyed, really. “Wha-? Natasha said she did it.”
Steve smirked, “She covered for me.”
“Why?”
“Because for five years after the snap, you and Nat did nothing for yourselves and did everything for everyone else.” He had been witness to the two of you pulling all-nighters, washing the sheets of your fallen teammates as if they were going to return that weekend, celebrating their birthdays in secret with a small candle and a prayer. Moving from the compound and into his own apartment was hard enough, but seeing his remaining teammates wallow in cursed self-determination was worse. So, he asked Nat about your birthday to send you chocolates and a lovely handwritten note, careful to write in a font different from his natural one, and he would fold tiny paper airplanes and leave them around the compound where only Nat could find them, providing her a sense of playfulness in her busy day. Little joys to make up for such an impact.  
“If it makes you feel better, I sent gifts to Nat and Bruce, too.”
But because Bruce had no forwarding address at the time, Steve settled for quick text messages here and there. 
“And here I was thinking I was special.”
Steve laughed at your statement. He reached into the middle compartment to grab the mics you would be wearing. “By the way, make sure to hide this behind your neck. My mic will blend in as a button.”
You inspected the flat, button-like mic, awed by how intricate their design was. “They connected to Bucky’s?”
Steve clipped his onto his shoulder, the camouflage effect throwing you off. Yup, you loved science. “Yeah, they record everything and immediately send it back already transcribed.”
You unfolded the sun visor and watched how the mic picked up the color of your skin and blended naturally. “Remind me to send T’Challa and Shuri a gift basket.”
“And more.”
The estate was exactly how you remembered it. Modern and simple all at once, a brown exterior to easily blend into the surrounding forest, and massive front gate that only opened with a specific code. You leaned out the window and typed it in. There was no speaker this time, probably evidence of newly installed cameras. 
“It’s beautiful,” Steve muttered, pulling into the long driveway and following the brick road. 
It truly was. Even from where you were, you could see into the mansion as the walls were all practically made from glass. The walls in the back were normal, however, as that’s where most of the business was conducted. There were no swing doors, only large and heavy double doors made from cooled lava rock. And even though your father was a very organized man, the house was littered in trinkets of all origins: professionally stuffed exotic animals, roman and oriental statues, porcelain eggs, multiple pianos, and first editions of some of the most popular books in the world. There wasn’t any set theme for this house, but it was screaming ‘money’. 
Steve parked the car away from the others, careful to leave enough room around it to ensure an easy escape if needed.
“Remember what I said - play the part. Leave the smart mouth to me, they know me. It’s what they’ve come to expect.”
Steve clicked his seatbelt and sighed heavily, “I apologize in advance.”
You gave him a small smile, “Nothing to apologize for, Steve. Like I said, this is a mission. Don’t stress about it.”
He shook his head, “Still.”
The sincere look in his eyes sent a tingle down your arms. You cleared your throat, “I feel dirty saying this, but know your place. You may be a Captain but you’re not manning this boat.”
For some reason Steve felt that he truly needed to apologize in advance. For the past several years, it wasn’t entirely real to him. He had not been directly involved. But now that he was here, parked and staring at you - the one person who had a first hand account of the horrors inside - he needed to make sure you understood he would never actually hurt you, or you him. “I trust you.”
You removed your seatbelt and opened the door, “I trust you, too.”
It was windy today, the ruffles from the trees almost disguising the labor coming from the back. You assumed they were still building the reception area. Steve jogged over to your side and hooked your arm in his, his body tenser than yours. Someone opened the heavy doors, immediately swallowing the oxygen for miles with merely their presence. You couldn’t help yourself from a small grimace, lips spreading into a straight line as you forced any other expression besides hatred. 
Seda, standing at barely six foot and a smug look plastered on his aging face that worried even Steve. This was the man that had shot you when he was on the run - the man that would most likely do it again. 
Seda quickly stepped down the stairs, “Y/N, so lovely to see you again!”
You let go of Steve to walk ahead, arms extended to match the idea of a grand entrance. “Really? Because the last time we saw each other, you shot me in the gut.”
Steve swore he saw Seda’s upper lip twitch. “You hold too many grudges. I was just following your father’s orders.”
You rolled your eyes and finally came to a stop in front of him, arms crossed over your chest. “Obviously.”
“And I’ve finally got the chance to meet Captain America! You’re much larger in person.”
No matter the acting skills one must obtain for this line of work, it was still obvious Seda was speaking through clenched teeth. He scanned Steve up and down, somewhat intimidated.
It was such a sudden shift, one you obviously knew was coming, but the deepness of Steve’s voice still caused unnatural goosebumps to rise. “I get that a lot. Helps in this business, though.”
Seda let out a low chuckle, “I would think so.” He turned and instructed the two men who had followed him out to reopen the heavy doors.  “This way.”
Steve tried not to gawk at the amount of decorations and old-timey artifacts he swore should belong in a museum. So much furniture, so much history that shouldn’t mix but somehow worked. And was that… was that a stuffed polar bear?
“So, how you doing, Seda? Besides the usual,” you asked, hooking your arm back with Steve’s. 
Seda walked with his head held high, only tilting his head downward when giving a silent greeting to those who walked by. You tried to memorize faces or see if there was anyone you recognized. But your father barely kept the same team for more than a few years. They either left voluntarily and luckily, or were simply never heard from again. 
“Excited for the wedding. Jackeline has been running around nonstop on her finishing touches,” Seda responded. 
You huffed out a laugh, “I bet she has. She used to have a scrapbook that outlined six different wedding themes.”
“And I haven’t seen the end of it.”
Only a few more twists and turns and you were finally near the familiar hallway that housed your father’s darkest work. The interior design was purposeful, no windows and no cameras. Steve unhooked your arms, opting for a more formal presentation between the two of you. Seda was difficult to please, but your father was near impossible. Better to not have his hands all over his daughter during their first meeting.  
“Hey, what’s the wi-fi password? I’m expecting a few important emails today,” you asked before Seda opened your father’s office door. Steve had to restrain himself from blessing the ground you walked on. Bless you for remembering. 
“‘Guadalajara’.”
“Thanks,” you mumbled, sending the password to Torres as quickly as you could. 
It wasn’t the grand entrance you expected, truly, but you didn’t expect to see your father simply chilling behind his desk signing a few papers. He usually paced, was in a random meeting, or on the phone. Here, he was just… strangely normal. 
He looked up, eyes locking with yours for the first time in seven years. “Now, I haven’t seen you since your little weekend trip to Jalisco!”
Yeah, since you had me shot. 
Stepping into the office, the smell of cigars was heavy. Musty and daring, enveloping you like the times it did before. But now you had Steve - sweet Steve whose warmth you could feel behind you. 
You shrugged, “I’m not traveling much outside the country these days. Too much shit going on.”
Your father stood up and let out a dry laugh, “No lie about that. Seda was telling me how loose the borders were when half the world croaked.”
“Emigration was common, yup.”
He smiled at you, walking over and placing his hands on your shoulders. You did your best not to tense your muscles. “I wish I could have been there. You guys made millions those five years.”
You swore you heard Seda scoff near the corner of the room. 
“It’s about time we met! Ernesto Vega,” your father introduced himself, holding out his hand for Steve to take. 
It was instant, the change, and you found yourself pushed softly to the side as Steve stepped forward. “Steve Rogers, sir. It’s an honor to meet you.”
Your father was practically beaming, “Y/N isn’t giving you a hard time with all the business, aye?”
Steve chuckled, “None at all. She steps back when asked.”
Okay, maybe he was a better actor than you took him for. 
“I can’t believe you even have to ask,” your father hummed, glancing back at you with a disapproving look. 
Steve shrugged, “More like ‘ordered.’”
It was scary how easily Steve was making your father laugh. “So, she listens to you? I wonder what that’s like.”
You interrupted, scoffing quietly. “I have literally done everything you’ve asked.”
And without glancing at you this time, your father quipped. “Everything but learn how not to complain.” 
You rolled your eyes and met Seda’s stare. He always enjoyed the torment your father caused you. When he ordered you do something sketchy and you objected, Seda always had a front row seat to the slaps and harsh language spit in your face. He had a way of bringing up the abuse in almost every conversation he held with you - like it gave him some form of sick satisfaction.
“Regardless of my daughter’s inability to listen, I was still surprised when she named you as her partner.”
“The whole hero game was getting boring. I needed excitement.”
Your father agreed, “Don’t we all?” 
Before he continued, he squinted his eyes at Steve and scanned him once more. Almost like he was double checking his initial choice. 
“And you’re fine with breaking the laws of the country you’re the mascot for?”
“America has changed over the last hundred years. Trust me, I should know.”
Steve was answering exactly how you two practiced. You couldn’t help the small tinge of pride that it ignited. 
“Oh, I can’t believe you’re older than me. I mean, look at you.”
“The positives and negatives of being America’s science experiment, sir.”
“But here you are now. Working for me.” Your father stepped back to sit behind his desk again. “I’m very happy.”
“Likewise, sir,” Steve replied as he shuffled closer to you, trying to not seem so suspicious. Last time Steve wanted to crawl out of his own skin was when he was barely being introduced to the new world. Times Square really was a concrete jungle, his and Bucky’s old apartment building had been demolished in the fifties, and inflation… don’t get him started on inflation.  
“I’d like you to meet my two friends.” Your eyes widened. No, you weren’t supposed to meet them today. You hadn’t planned for this. 
“Friends and competition alike.”
You tried to keep your voice steady, “Shouldn’t you warm them up before you invite them in? They’re gonna take one look at Steve and freak.”
Your father motioned for Seda to open the door. “Then prepare your speech quickly.”
Before you or Steve could come up with a game plan, your father called out to the new arrivals. “Amigos! Me gustaría presentarles al hombre detrás de toda mi operación.”
The men summoned were completely different from the last time you saw them. Given you saw Ramirez long before the snap and White even before then, change was destined. Ramirez was skinnier, no more protruding stomach, wrinkles almost nonexistent and eyes lively. He hadn’t disappeared with half the world, but one of his daughters did - so getting her back definitely helped his overall health. White, on the other hand, aged overnight. His hair was now gray, eyelids sullen but eyes wide, and his nose was tilted awkwardly, like a surgery to counteract the powder he sniffed. You couldn’t remember if he was dusted or not.
“Tienes que agradecer a mi hija por esto.”
He did not just give you credit for this. 
“No fucking way?” Ramirez spoke, almost like he was out of breath. 
Curse your father for not preparing these two. You quickly reminded yourself where your gun was hidden in case things got out of hand. 
White stepped forward, circling you and Steve as if you were displayed in a museum. “Do we each get our own Avenger?”
“Maybe in the future. But this one’s mine.”
“I’m an Avenger, too. But okay,” you mumbled, offended by his singular statement. Steve’s lip twitched slightly but the look he threw at you let you know he wanted to smile. 
“¿Cómo lo hiciste?”
“Ya sabes cómo es... La gente simplemente sigue mi ejemplo.”
You decided to speak, anything to get White to stop inspecting you like some ancient artifact. “Steve green lights the routes and passages. He’s been a main player all along.”
White squinted at you, “And how long has this been going on?”
“For almost ten years,” you answered. 
White shook his head in surprise, eyes wider than you thought possible. His accent was more slurred than you remembered. “And you’re telling us now because-?”
Your father cut in, “The world is still in ruins. If we combine our forces like we discussed before that unfortunate disappearing act, we’ll be unstoppable.”
This seemed to catch Ramirez off guard, as if he truly didn’t remember the conversation your father brought up. You shoveled his reaction deep into your memory. Maribel would have to look into it.
Still, Ramirez played along. “And you’ll be loyal to us, too? Not just Ernesto?”
Steve nodded, his posture straightening. “I would.”
Now, the two new arrivals looked at you. You raised an eyebrow. 
“Don’t look at me. I do what he says,” you admitted, nodding your head toward Steve.
They seemed to accept that answer. 
“And he’s here to help us move the shipment this Saturday?” White asked.
“That’s the plan,” your father confirmed.
It was time for Ramirez to circle you both. But he did so more casually and without the intent of kicking you in the shins, it seemed. He went to sit on the couch nearest the door, away from the crowd. You could sense Steve tensing up, so you turned your body slightly to the side so you could see Ramirez through your peripheral.
“How do we know we can trust him? What those stars and stripes have to do with us?”
“You hear that Captain?” your father asked, leaning back in his chair with that twisted smile that always made your stomach drop. “Time to prove your loyalty.”
“Are you seriously going to haze him?” you spoke, a hint of a teasing tone on your words. It was time to liven up the conversation, for both your sake, or else your father was sure to go overboard. His hand… where’s Steve’s hand?
“Does she speak for you?”
Steve stepped forward, “No, she doesn’t.”
“Prove it.”
You should really punch your chest to get your heart beating again. Was he going to make Steve try the product? Record something as blackmail? Kill someone?
“Wha-” you began, but were immediately silenced as an arm wrapped around your neck and held you in place. The coldness of the gun’s muzzle tickled just below your chin, still and steady, but nonetheless terrifying. Your father had held you in this position before - hell, most of his men did when asked. But it wasn’t any of your father’s men threatening you under orders - it was Steve.  
“Obviously, I’m not going to kill her. You need her for this whole operation to work. But a little roughing up never did any bad.”
He removed his other arm but kept the muzzle under your chin, grabbing both your arms skillfully and pinning them behind your back. 
You had never seen your father so pleased. “Why are you dating my daughter?”
Steve chuckled and clicked the safety. No, no. 
You scrambled to open your right palm and squeeze what you could reach. Steve seemed to understand right away, and he loosened his grip and placed his other shaking hand into yours. You squeezed tightly. 
“Now, that’s like asking a man why he breathes air.”
No matter the position he currently had you in, you still praised his acting skills. 
“Perhaps. But I know my daughter. Why you?”
Steve kept a firm grip. “Luck?”
“It seems so. Let her go.”
He released you immediately, clicking the safety back on. Seda was in front of him before Steve could place it back on his person, grabbing the gun and emptying it. Seven rounds tumbled and scattered to the floor. This seemed to please both men, as Steve wasn’t presenting himself with an empty threat. He really could have killed you. 
“I’m assuming Y/N has told you stories about me. About my men.”
The floor beneath you was uneven, it seemed, but once your mind stopped playing tricks on you, you settled. You shot a quick glance to Ramirez, his eyes closed and hands clasped in his lap. He seemed distant.
“Only the ones worth repeating, sir.”
“Oh? And which are those?”
“Orders and the like.”
“So, you don’t know much? Nothing interesting? Nothing that could make me seem like the bad guy?”
The room grew hot, whether it was the natural air or the bubbling anger boiling in your stomach.
“Like I said, sir. I ask her what I want to know and she tells me. Other than that, it’s your call.”
The room fell silent as they debated their other questions. 
“How much do the other Avengers know?”
You were about to respond when Steve spoke instead. “Oblivious. I’m still the stars and stripes for them.”
White scoffed, “Those symbols don’t mean shit in this new world. Ridiculous of them to still assume you’re the same man.”
Steve’s jaw tensed, “Exactly right, sir.”
This seemed to be enough for your father. He stood from his chair, walking over to shake Steve’s hand again. So righteous and personal, almost like he hadn’t just ordered the assassination of an old friend a few days ago. “I like you, Captain. You’ve boosted my business, you’ve handled my daughter, you’ve made me a lot of money.” 
He looked away from Steve to look at you now, laying eyes upon a person he hadn’t bothered to reunite with in person. You had fought so hard not to be in the same room ever again, but now you were. A small little office, holding whatever air you were forced to share, on a mission that could change everything. You hated him, absolutely detested the ground he stood on, blamed him for the fallout, the change, the hurt. 
“Seda, you trust him?”
Seda opened the office door and started ushering the other two men out. “I’m getting there.”
Your father laughed, “Always so cynical.” 
Ramirez stood from his seat behind you, already gunning to make a good impression on your Captain. He shook Steve’s hand, “Until next time.”
“Sir,” Steve returned the handshake. Ramirez only adjusted slightly, and held his hand out to you. You looked down at it, momentarily stunned from any attention, but shook it in the way you were taught. Firm, short, and ready for business. You grinned at him and he returned the same emotion. 
“Two Avengers. Wow,” he mumbled, and tilted his head in a farewell. You watched him go, a silly smile on your face. 
You went to take your leave, cautious of being left alone with your father. But as fate had it, he stopped you from leaving so simply. 
“Oh, and Y/N?” 
You turned on your heel, lips plastered in a straight line. You raised your eyebrows at him, already annoyed from the request he most certainly had, no doubt. “Meet me in a few minutes. Alone.”
You forced yourself to nod, turning quickly and leaving the room. You shuffled down the hallway, Steve hot on your trail and reaching for your hand. 
“Hey, hey. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
He tugged you back to him, but you pushed him into the corner room you were originally heading for. You shut the door softly, and allowed Steve to grip your hands in his. 
“Well, you gotta. Link our mics. You’ll hear everything.”
“Safe word?”
You chuckled lowly but retracted the teasing attitude when you saw genuine worry written on Steve’s face. “Widow, Steve.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you back there. I couldn’t think of anything else to do-”
You shushed him, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.”
“I fuck with you all the time but I would never take it that far.”
Where was this coming from? Steve looked like he was about to start hyperventilating. “I’m good. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine, see?” you placed his hand on your chest, making sure he could feel your heartbeat. “I’m good.”
“You’re good?”
“I’m good.”
Steve removed his hand and placed it over his own chest, rubbing slightly. “I’ll be right outside when he talks to you.”
“I know you’ll be. Now, stand guard, whistle low to alert me.”
“This the room? You know the code?”
It was a simple office as well, but resembled more of a library than a workspace. It was dimly lit, cluttered, smelled of the wooden cabinets and the dust collecting on the books, and lacked any windows as well. You nodded to confirm Steve’s question, heading over to the farthest bookshelf and pushed it away from the wall. The loose dust swooped from the wood surface and into the air instantly, and you had to pause to sneeze down your shirt. 
You wiped your nose, “I’m third in command. My father may have some things hidden but I have to know the codes to shit like this.”
Steve leaned his ear on the door gently, “You’re clear.”
You gave him a thumbs up and fiddled with the outside of the safe. It was built into the wall, black in color and definitely made way before you were born. It was quite rusted, the gold numbers on the lock almost faded. 
“Let’s hope he didn’t change it.” You turned the dial - seven, thirty-three, eighteen - and it clicked on the first try. “Bingo.”
“Did you have a backup plan if that didn’t work?”
You snorted quietly, “Smash?”
Steve rolled his eyes and pressed his ear back on the door. 
Everything inside had been recently rearranged. You figured your father used some of these ID’s when entering the country for the wedding and left them stacked on one another for the quick heist on Saturday.  “We’re in luck! Both my father’s and Seda’s ID’s are here, along with-”
You cooed, taking out your phone and opening the camera app. You snapped multiple pictures, with and without flash. “Stacks and stacks of cash.”
You pulled your purse in front of you and pulled out your wallet to make room, shoving it into your back pocket instead. 
“Help me put this in my purse.”
Steve left his post to help you shovel the ID’s discreetly into every pocket your purse provided, shoving things into corners so nothing protruded. 
“Damn, we gotta leave the money,” you pouted. 
Steve chuckled, “What a horrible thing.”
A sudden, boisterous laugh right outside the door caused you to rip your arm away from the safe, thankfully pulling the last of the ID’s with you. You pushed them into your purse, zipping it up. Steve reacted quickly as well, shutting the safe and rotating the dial, pushing the bookcase back into its original position. 
“It’s Ramirez and White,” Steve whispered, looking around the room for any help. “What do we do?”
“Ramirez…” you blinked, eyes wandering around the room as well. Think, think, think. The doorknob jiggled. “Trust me.”
You ripped your purse off and threw it to the nearest couch. You hooked your arms around Steve’s neck and jumped to wrap your legs around his waist. 
“Oh my-”
In any other scenario, the whimper that left your throat would have been caused by a surge of ecstasy. But you were frightened of being caught, the whimper a blatant signal to just follow your lead. 
“Slam me into the wall, Captain.”
The door flew open just as Steve did as he was told. 
“And I told him it was ridiculous - oh my…”
You lifted your head from Steve’s neck, wide eyes to accompany your surprised state. “Oh! I thought we locked the door!”
Ramirez covered his eyes bashfully, turning around and staring at the wall. “Don’t mind us, we were just looking for loose smokes.”
Opposite to his intruding partner, White laughed at the scene before him. He dipped low, hands on his knees as he joked. “Didn’t think Captain America had it in him! Been a stiff ever since the ice, huh mate?”
You could feel Steve tense against you, and he froze entirely. You drew your hand up to play with the strands of his hair, putting on your best flirty tone possible. “Oh, trust me. He’s pretty stiff right now.”
Steve seemed to calm under your touch, so he turned his head over his shoulder and gave an embarrassed smile of his own. 
“Excuse us again, Y/N. You two enjoy your time,” Ramirez apologized, pulling at White’s jacket to guide him out of the room. Once you heard the click of the door, you jumped from Steve’s grasp and immediately began patting his back. 
“I’m sorry.”
Steve chuckled, his blush rising from his shoulders to his cheeks. “It’s okay, you saved us.”
You inspected him closely, a little embarrassed with yourself. It was a bold move, but one that needed to be done. You stood in silence for a few more seconds, each of you adjusting to such a sudden change of breathing pattern. 
You shut your eyes and groaned silently, “I need to speak with him.”
“Can I wait outside the door?”
You picked up your purse and swung it around your torso, “No, you need to wait in the car. Or smother Ramirez and White, your call.”
The lines on Steve’s forehead deepened, “Y/N, I can’t leave you alone with him.”
You wanted to argue further because Steve really over exaggerated. You fought a whole army of aliens, robots, and even the infamous Winter Soldier. Sure, you lost the battle with Thanos on the first try, you lost a teammate with Ultron, and gained a collapsed lung from Bucky’s insane roundhouse kick, but you were positive you could take your father. “You’re gonna have to. I’ve been alone with him before.”
Steve placed his hands on his hips and gave you a blank stare. “He shot you last time.”
“Ehh, Seda did.”
“Y/N.”
You laughed softly, “Then wait in the living room.”
“The shield’s in the car. If you need help, I may not have enough time-”
Steve and that goddamn shield. The guy was acting like he wasn’t a super soldier. You were annoyed. Annoyed with a pinch of salt?
“You whip that shield out to save me and I swear to god-”
“Okay, okay. I’ll link our mics.”
He fumbled around on his phone for a few seconds before you heard the softest beep from below your ear. 
     The last time you had entered that room alone, you left with a bullet lodged deep in your abdomen and with the threat of having it done again. Stumbling and crashing into the walls and random trinkets, leaving your blood stains on anything you used to steady yourself. This time would be different - it had to be. Your father wouldn’t shoot you with the Captain America waiting in the other room. Then again, your father always seemed to top himself each time you were forced to interact personally. In an instant, he dropped the good guy act. Or, hyped joy. 
Now, his stare was cold and calculated, posture upright like he was awaiting your arrival. You couldn’t help but smile and roll your eyes, a tiny scoff breaking the silence as he returned it. 
“You’re one damn good actor.” 
He chuckled deeply, “We do what we have to do in front of the people who threaten our reign.” 
You kicked the leg of a nearby chair to turn it toward you. Sitting down, you retorted with a chuckle of your own. “You’re not royalty.” 
“We are... you are.”
Third in command. Daughter of the biggest drug lord south of the border? In most cases, you could be considered goddamn royalty. Did you want to be? No, because the title that seemed to fit was ‘a chess piece in the middle of a mad supremacy’. But that was too long.  
“So, what is this? You scared my Captain is gonna knock you off your feet and take your place?” 
His hands slammed the desk. His little basket of pens and pencils toppled over and spilled onto the floor. “I have waited seven, long years for you to bring that man to me. And each time you defied me. Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now!” 
You remained seated, a blank stare boring into your father’s. “Uh, probably because he would avenge me. Get it?” 
He wasn’t one for jokes, though. “It would be so easy.” 
Aggravating him further was not the smartest thing to do. And Steve had the same thought as he fumbled with his own thumbs outside, hearing the conversation from afar. He almost wanted to barge in just to put your ass in time out. 
But you had seven years to make up for - a little joke here and there shouldn’t hurt much. 
“You do know I’m an Avenger, right? Trained by Natalia Romanoff herself?” 
You worded your sentence carefully, her alias need not be spoken out loud unless you needed backup. 
“Answer me.”
When his nostrils flared, you knew better than to twist the knife. 
“Steve didn’t sign the accords. He was on the run for two years before you asked me for him. This is public knowledge.”
He pointed his index finger at you, shaking it wildly. “You lie. Why you lie?”
You had to blink multiple times through your shocked state, mouth agape and involuntarily racks of laughter spilling. He couldn’t be serious. You could only repeat the same thing so many times. 
“Like I said all those years ago - He. Was. On. The. Run. No contact. I had no way of contacting him!”
He struggled to grab whatever on his desk to raise toward your face. In this case, he pointed his phone in a threatening manner. “Excuses! Remember the last time you made such a poor excuse?”
The laughing stopped, your mouth immediately shutting. You clenched your jaw to work through your murderous impulses. 
You wondered how your hands would look wrapped around his neck. Red and angry, tightening as each desperate second passes, nails forming crescents as they pressed in his skin. If there was a window, you would definitely kick him out of it. Wave goodbye as he fell dramatically. But the mansion was one story high and you couldn’t magically conjure up a window. God, this would be the absolute best time to have Wanda or Loki here to use some of that dark magic. Either way, you just wanted to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face right now. 
“He. Was on. The run.”
“And I thought you learned your lesson.”
You stood from your seat and leaned on the desk, arms holding you up and face inches away from his. “You gonna send in your men to remind me? With my Captain a few feet away?”
His lips were trembling as much as yours were - face blotchy with silver droplets of sweat and an angry blush now reaching his forehead. For a seventy-five year old man, he still had such a rage in him that didn’t risk a heart attack. Lucky bastard. 
“He best not interfere if it’s what I choose to do.”
Outside, Steve gripped the back door handle to the point it squished in on itself, metal twisting awkwardly and splintering the paint. His free hand was balled into the meanest fist, even his stubby nails wreaking havoc on his pale palm. He was making himself bleed by the restraint. He took slow breaths, eyes closed but ears fully alert. He wouldn’t cry. Not right now. 
“I called you back alone to invite you to breakfast the day after tomorrow.”
Whether it was because he knew you were only a few seconds from lunging yourself across his desk to break his neck or because he was tired from all the energy he had just exerted, your father slumped back into his seat as he spoke. 
“The hotel has free breakfast.”
He shook his head in complete astonishment, “You’re not getting out of this. I have important business to discuss with each of you.”
You continued to stare him down, “Over coffee?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t leave the estate so close to the wedding. Your sister is flying in tomorrow and I have to make sure construction is done by then.”
“Right, ‘cause you’re the best father in the world.”
Being in the same room was suffocating, but you couldn’t help but be fascinated by the man. How unbelievably thoughtless yet calculated he could be. How unbelievably fake yet so damn real in all his hidden meanings.
“Jackeline likes to think so.”
Your sister was sweet, sure, and there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not fight one another, being the only daughters and all. But you were eight years old when she was born, already tainted by the world in which she was just born into. Forgive your lack of sisterly bond. When you were sixteen, you dipped. Now, at the sprouting ages of twenty-six and eighteen, you two couldn’t be more different. 
Actually, yes you could. If she thought your father was a good man, she was entirely ignorant of the world she lives in. 
“Good for her. Why don’t we discuss the shipment transport during the most important day of her life?”
“Nice try. That’s what the rehearsal dinner is for - rehearsal.” 
You gave your father a sad smile, “You really won’t trust me. After all these years of following your orders.”
“Now, let’s not go bringing up the past.”
You interrupted, “Why not? You’re trusting my Captain and I to help you move that shipment but won’t trust me enough to tell me where it is right now?” 
He was back to standing but he was much calmer. “Right now, I trust your Captain more than you. What kind of man would leave everything moral behind for a bunch of criminals? A bad one.”
“You’ve known him for like, two seconds.”
Your father searched his pockets for loose cigarettes. “He left everything moral behind for me. For you. And you left me behind for everything moral.”
Rolling your eyes, you backed away from his desk and headed for the door. “Sometimes you don’t make any sense. Is that it? Are we done?”
“You accept my invitation?”
“Do I really have a choice?”
“No.” 
     The mansion seemed larger than when you entered, the hallways longer, the walls closing in, the trinkets reaching out to stop you by the wrist. The longer you stayed in this hell hole, the more likely you were probably going to unleash the rage attached to your body in the form of your favorite weapons. Bomb the hell out of this place. 
You marched to Steve’s car. He was already waiting, leaning along the passenger door like he was going to open it for you. If he did, you might kill him too. So, you repeatedly snapped your fingers at him and pointed around the car, silently but angrily motioning him to get in. He didn’t need to be told twice. In fact, he thought it might be therapeutic for you to throw the door open and slam it yourself. It was. 
Steve started the car. He didn’t need to ask, there was no reason to since he heard everything. And so did Sam. Bucky. Scott. It was being transcribed as you swerved out of the estate. God, you wanted to throw up. 
“I’ll tell you when to stop.” 
Steve choked on his breath, “Stop?” 
You rolled down the windows to breathe in the crisp cold air, teeth becoming sensitive as it passed into your lungs. “Once we get past the cameras and nearby neighborhoods.” 
“Did you need-“ 
“When I say stop, stop. Fucking damn, Steve! Listen to me for once!”
Steve didn’t know why he was challenging you. Your father had just brought up one of the most traumatic moments of your life, basically called you a hypocrite and a coward - he tried to tear you down. And here you were, holding it all together like the champ he found you to be. But he never handled your outbursts well, even if they were completely justified. 
“Don’t fucking give me orders if you won’t tell me what they’re for!”
“Stop the fucking car!”
He slammed on the breaks, instincts still kicking in during your argument and he reached his arm out to your side to hold you back from the powerful surge. His body lunged forward, however, chest hitting the steering wheel and horn. 
You scrambled out of the car and ran into the woods, feet guiding you through mud and prickly bushes until they reached a more secluded spot. Steve stumbled along after you, nearly tripping over the same rocks you had avoided masterfully. 
Before he could ask what you were doing, you pulled your gun from its hidden holster and clicked the safety. Steve’s eyes bulged out of his head just in time to see the first round sound off mid-air. He crouched down to the floor and shielded his head. You shot away from him, obviously, until all seven rounds were dislodged, aimed in the sky diagonally. 
Once the last bullet exited, you simply packed everything up. Now calm and collected, you turned around and headed back for the car.
Steve’s voice cracked as he spoke, “Seriously?”
You pushed branches away from your head as you walked, “Seriously.”
“Do you know how dangerous that is? Those bullets don’t just disappear into thin air,” Steve scolded, jogging up to speed walk beside you. 
“So fucking what? I’m keeping the rent low in this area, then.”
Steve sighed in defeat, “Talk to me.”
“Sorry, I’m shutting down.”
“Y/N-”
You groaned, tears of frustration not entirely formed, but in their beginning stages. “You already know what’s stressing me out, Steve. Do you need it in writing?”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Steve lowered his voice. “What do you need me to do?”
“Just,” you paused, stopping to face him. You opened and closed your hands mid-air as if that would help you formulate your sentences better. “I don’t know. But when I find out, I’ll let you know.”
This Steve could accept. So he simply nodded, guiding you the rest of the way with his hand gently placed on your lower back. 
     The drive back to the hotel was fairly silent. The radio provided a calming relief from such drama. Steve would glance at you every so often to check on you, but you were always resting your eyes. This was only the first day of the mission - officially. If you were this drained from one encounter, Steve needed to rethink this whole operation. Whether it was healthy to keep you on, or if the threat was just too large. But no matter the alternatives, Steve understood that this week was going to be difficult either way, and you needed to be present. This was your mission after all. He was just your partner. 
Even with a thousand things on your mind, you were still conscious enough to check your surroundings, check-in with the agent posted behind the front desk, and reconnect your mic with the teams. 
Steve pushed open your room door and threw the car keys on one of the nearby tables. “Nap time?”
You ignored his initial question, “I didn’t think seeing them in person again would be so draining.”
Steve watched you carefully, somewhat scared that you would pull out your gun again and shatter a window. “It was pretty cramped.”
You started to disarm yourself, tearing off your sweater and holsters clumsily. “And they acted like we were all on good terms! Around you, at least. I know they’re acting for my sister’s sake and then we can go back to hating each other after, but really?”
Steve sat on the edge of his bed, eyes sorry. “I really don’t know what to say.”
You threw yourself onto your bed, burying your face into the pillows. You continued speaking, albeit muffled. “You don’t have to say anything - just let me rant.”
“You’ll tire yourself out, Y/N. C’mon, we gotta draft up this report-”
You lifted yourself up and started smoothing down your hair, “I need a drink.”
Steve pointed to the computer, “The report.”
“A drink.” 
“Y/N, it’s getting late. The sooner we draft it, the sooner-”
You grumbled out again, already opening the door and shoving your boots on. “Steve, I need a drink. You know what they do to me, what they’ve done to me, what they continue to do every single day. Now, join me or not but I am going downstairs for a drink.”
Steve paused for a moment, looking around the room hesitantly. “Can I at least take the laptop?”
You threw your head back and walked out the door, “Take the goddamn laptop, jesus fucking christ, c’mon.”
     If there’s one thing you were happy about today, it was that you booked a hotel with a mini bar on the second floor. It wasn’t an outright full bar, but it was low lit, clean and the counters were made from fine wood, and there was a variety of flavors to choose from. There were only a few hotel guests spread out and a single bartender. You and Steve took seats at the counter. 
“Whiskey sour,” you called for the bartender, trying and failing to give him the nicest smile you could. 
Steve settled in his bar stool, “Thought you wanted to drink to drink hard.”
You chuckled at him and extended your arms in a stretch, “I’m mad, not depressed.”
He grinned at your movements - as if just sitting in a bar already loosened you up. “In that case, get me a beer.”
     Natasha had called Steve for help after your fourth beer and fifth whiskey. Her coaxing proved to be pointless, each request of a safe passage home seeming to enter one ear and leave the other. And you’ll end up killing her when you were sober enough for sending unwanted reinforcements, but even she didn’t want to fight you. If you wanted to drown in liquid courage, that courage churning itself into raw despair, then she would allow it. 
Steve stared at you for a few moments. Head hanging low, a deep frown etched into your tired expression, index finger tapping your glass as if you were debating whether to down it in one go or to leave it. Steve had never seen you like this, guard destroyed and face practically pale, just begging to be left alone. And it seemed the whole bar felt the same way, as there was no music playing and everyone was wallowing in their own grief. 
“I can spot you from a mile away, you know?”
Your voice immediately pulled Steve from his own mind and he was surprised you could still form coherent sentences given the amount of empty glasses in front of you. 
“I don’t mean to interrupt.”
You scoffed, leaning away from him as he sat down in the stool beside you. “Natasha sent you. Don’t tell me otherwise.”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“Good.”
Steve ordered a beer for himself, and although he was driving, one beer wouldn’t impair him anyway. It wouldn’t even cause a dent in his 20/20 vision. 
“Fucking ridiculous, it’s fucking ridiculous!” 
The bar patrons seemed to wince simultaneously and the bartender simply gathered a few of your empty glasses to wash. Steve didn’t hush you, didn’t touch you, didn’t try to reassure you. If you needed to cause a scene, it was time. Your silence for the past week had been frightening, but when Tony returned last night, half dead and without the kid, it seemed to be your breaking point. 
“Wanda destroyed it. She destroyed the fucking stone and all he did was use another to bring it back.”
Steve took a sip of his beer to disguise his quivering lip, but his eyes had no curtain. His waterline swelled with fresh tears, eyes instantly reddening, an undesired sting pinching the corners. 
“Strange must have had a reason. He must’ve, but - how can that reason include the death of trillions?”
“We’re going to find a way-”
“And if we don’t?”
Steve kept his lips on the bottle, incisors biting down only slightly as he took in your rhetorical question. You continued speaking.
“He destroyed the stones.”
“Carol is looking for answers.”
You shook your head and pulled out your wallet, leaving whatever cash you had on the counter before standing up. You stumbled but Steve latched onto your arm and pulled it to hug his waist. 
“Loki?” you mumbled, raising your head to lock eyes with Steve. He didn’t know if you were calling him another name or if you were asking for the God’s whereabouts. “Bucky?”
“Hey, stop, stop.”
“Peter?”
Steve could only nod. What use was it to lie to you? Your new vertical position seemed to magnify the true extent of your intoxication as your eyes finally glazed over and limbs trembled. 
“Let’s get you home, okay?”
Gripping his shirt, you apologized each time it would crumble and you would accidentally tug it downward. But Steve didn’t care. You were practically limp in his arms, heavy and without proper use of your legs. 
“You’re a good man, Steve.”
Steve sighed sadly but couldn’t help the small smile that formed as he looked down at you and found you sporting a silly one of your own. 
“A really good man. I’m happy you’re still here.”
Steve paused for a moment, taking in your words and holding back his own tears. If there was a time he wanted to be drunk off his ass, it would be now. He was somewhat jealous of the brief relief alcohol had given you, loose and not fully aware of the drama of the world. “I’m happy, too.”
“No, you’re not,” you slurred, allowing Steve to guide you to his car. You slumped against the passenger door as Steve searched his pocket for his key. “I heard you crying last night.”
Steve halted his search mid-pat, a hard crease forming between his eyebrows as he lifted his head. “I wasn’t-”
“I cry too,” you admitted, a drunken pout on your face. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
Perhaps it was a dirty thing for him to do at this moment because you wouldn’t remember a single word of this conversation in the morning, but he figured there was no immediate harm. He found his key, unlocked the car, and helped you inside. Only once he entered the car himself did he take advantage of your blurry mind. 
“I cried for Sam and Bucky. Who do you cry for?”
You clicked the seatbelt on, mind clear enough for safety precautions it seemed. “Poor Wanda.”
Steve nodded and started the car. “Anything else?”
“Did I ever tell you about the time Loki asked me on a date?”
Steve immediately shut off the car and turned to you. “Huh? When?”
You grinned, small giggles bubbling from your chest. “A few months ago. He was so shy, too. I said yes.”
Steve ignored the twinge in his chest, “How was it?”
You leaned your head back and tilted it towards him, your smile faltered slightly. “Never went on it. And now he’s dead.”
The urge to lean over and wrap you in a much needed hug was there, eating away at him since you called him a good man. But he had taken advantage of this situation far too much, so he simply nodded in understanding and started the car again. 
“I’m sorry.”
You barely heard him, but you mumbled a quick response before letting the alcohol fully consume you. “Me too.”
     You thanked the bartender when they slid you your drink. “I hadn’t seen him since before the world went to shit.” You took a quick sip. “Kinda strange.”
Steve nodded, wondering if he should dive deep into the issue at hand. Instead of outright saying his outdated spiel, he eased into it. He gave you a few needed sips of your drink, at least.  “Y/N, can I ask an honest question?”
You hummed, “My toes are already tingling. You could probably ask me what my kinks are and I’d tell you.”
Steve suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, “You never could handle a sip of alcohol.”
Your eyes rounded at his reaction. Perhaps the alcohol affected him in other fun ways that he didn’t know. “Nope, I’m a lightweight.”
Steve contained himself before clearing his throat, “The question…”
“Go ahead.”
He rolled his shoulders and took a sip of his beer. Leaning in closer, he lowered his voice. “If it comes down to it, and god forbid you’re incapacitated, do you want me to kill your father?”
Your mouth opened slightly, the words stuck behind your tongue. You looked down at your drink, as if some special response was swimming in it. You knew your answer, but the way to phrase it was lost. 
“I don’t want his blood on your hands.”
“But if it was the last choice?”
You sighed, “If you pull that trigger, they’ll never stop coming after you.”
Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together, “But if you pull it?”
You shrugged and raised the glass to your lips. “That’s my life, Steve. Let me deal with the consequences.”
“That’s just it - you don’t have to. At least, not alone.”
God, you hated how perfect Steve sounded all the time. Whenever he was annoying you, fighting you, or protecting you, his syllables were stretched in the most glorious way, dipping into every crevice of the person they were delivered to and warming inches of body slowly. You wanted him to have somewhat of an evil side for once in his life, but no matter how many times you thought he would explode, he didn’t.
Two years ago, when he dropped you from his life in an instant, you had assumed you finally caught a glimpse at this evil side. It was the only time you were truly scared of him. 
“You really are a good person.”
Steve swished his beer bottle around, “I wish everyone would stop being surprised by that.”
“I’m not surprised. I guess I just want to hate you, and I can’t.”
Steve’s shoulders slumped like crumbling mountains and you couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable he looked. You wanted to pull him closer and rest your head to his chest, hear his heartbeat and apologize for theorizing a possible hatred. 
“Why do you want to hate me?”
“When you wouldn’t sign the accords, part of me saw that as the mascot of America not caring if he invaded and pillaged everything in his path.”
“But I-” Steve interjected, but you stopped him by raising your hand and waving it gently. 
“I know why you didn’t. Hell, I helped you escape.”
“Why did you help if you hated me?”
Being vulnerable with Steve wasn’t anything new. You were each other’s support system for those lonely five years, but it all changed the moment you defeated Thanos. So, for the last two years you didn’t quite get along. But here, now, you could always tell when Steve was being honest and open. 
“Guess I thought that if you were willing to help me with my family, I should help you with yours.”
His therapist desperately tried to rationalize the experiences Steve would tell, instructing him to look past hard exteriors and accept help from others. That his old friends were still friends, and enemies should never be compared to those he loved. And he knew he was easily blinded when something or someone had the slightest mishap, instantly writing it off as harmful. 
He spoke of you often during his one hour sessions - stories of your blatant silliness and crude jokes; how you would poke your finger into his sandwiches when you thought he wasn’t looking; how you almost beat up a kid and his little gang for baiting Peter after his identity was exposed; and how you and Sam had gotten into a bar fight over something so trivial, so unnecessary, that it was almost unbelievable to see you innocently scoot away from the body on the floor in the police video, as if you had nothing to do with it and those few feet of distance automatically cleared you. 
His therapist would just listen. 
“Did I ever thank you?”
You smiled sadly, “You went into hiding soon after. Then we went to battle, lost everyone, went to battle again, and then…”
“And then.”
‘And then’ wasn’t really something you two liked to bring up. It was still a fresh wound, somewhat patched up, but still open. 
You spaced out for a few minutes, both of you enjoying your drinks. You were no longer drinking to get drunk, not that it was your original goal to begin with. You just sat in comfortable silence, reliving the events earlier that day and drafting an internal report. 
“What are you thinking about?”
You pursed your lips and thought, clicking your tongue when it finally dawned on you. “This was the first time I saw Marcus White sober.”
Steve sat up straighter, “Are you sure? He didn’t look it.”
“Yeah, he usually speaks quickly and he fidgets. But he was coherent this afternoon.”
“Should that be a red flag?”
You took out your phone and sent a quick text to Torres for him to monitor White closely for the next few days, just in case. “A big one. My father referred to him more often than he did Ramirez.”
Steve tackled every idea in his head quickly, speaking as a new one popped up. “They could be planning a move against Ramirez. He’s close to overthrowing your father.”
You raised your head from your phone, “And the wedding would be a perfect distraction.”
“He would kill his greatest rival on your sister’s happiest day?”
You let out a low chuckle, “This man has nothing to lose. It won’t matter who he topples along the way.”
Steve opened the laptop, silently congratulating himself for bringing it despite your insults, and began drafting the report. The two of you worked for the next hour, nursing a couple more drinks before you sent the final copy to Bucky. 
~
TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress​
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is-nini · 3 years
Text
Corrupted Albedo x reader
Requested by: Aru/Haru(~‾▿‾)~
A/n: I don't usually make angst..(because i suck at it) but i will try my best and (i suck at writing fight scene too.. but i will try my best). I also will tweak some stuff so it may not be 100% true.
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WARNING:
mention of blood, bruise, overall a pretty dark war below..(in my opinion) Please look away if you're uncomfortable or trigger a dark memories.
Half of the Mondstat is a wreck, everything is a mess, covered by blood and Destruction all over. The overwhelming massive power is becoming too much to handle, causing normal humans immune system to slow down as alot of damage started to appear on their body because of the monsters
The red mist covered the whole windrise, springvale and whispering wood as heartless monsters destroy and hurt every living creature they see. The dark sky didn't help the slightest either as it seems like even the sky is against us.
Your body is covered with scars, bruise and blood as you grip your sword harder. Dead and heavily injured body is pooling on the ground in front of you. The screams and despair cries engulf Mondstat.
"Barbatos guide us!".
A hoarse shout from Jean was heard and a breeze of wind flows through you body as your body slowly heals.
"We can do it!".
Barbara shout as she tried her best to heal everyone and hold of the monsters, worries and a pool of tears threatened to fall from her eyes.
"H-help...".
A little voice was heard, you tore your eyes from a certain bright dark red light from behind the mist.
One of the leg of a man was stuck under a rock that one of the monster throw. You instantly run to get him as his body slowly getting engulf by the red mist.
"Y/n! Stay there! I'll help him!".
Noelle shout's, you looked at her in worried as a tear that you didn't even realize was there fall from your eyes but proceed to listen to her anyway. In order to save everyone you need to stop the cause.
Albedo.
You put up a shield around Mondstat, trying to hold everyone safe inside the shield but your geo shield crumbles down instantly when a festering desire sword hit the shield.
The sword that was supposed to be used by Aether has been thrown at the shield.. that means.. where is Aether? He is in danger-! Your breathing gets heavier than before knowing your dearest friend, Aether is in deep danger.
"Where are you going y/n?!".
Diluc shout when he notice you started picking up your pace and running towards the mist but you didn't stop, you keep running and running. Before your whole body is drowned by the sea of mist you stopped and looked back at your friends with tears and determined smile on your face.
"Hang in there!".
Is all you said before you run deep inside the mist, ignoring the calls from people.
"Y/n-! Ugh"
"Kaeya!"
Kaeya was about to run to take you to a safer place but a monster scratch his arm. Venti release his ultimate power, sucking all the monster away from Kaeya as Venti immediately bring Kaeya to heal afterhe shout towards you.
"BE SAFE Y/N". Venti said you just keep running inside the mist. Your leg is aching, how many scars you have now? You don't know and you don't care. Albedo is the only thing you cared. The source to stopped this hideous fight.
I'm sorry
You thought, directing your apologies to your family and friends. gripping your sword harder you slash through the monster left and right, wanting everything to get over with.. wanting a bright future for Mondstat there's so much thing to be discovered and you cannot let the dreams and your friends die. Not now. not ever. As long as you're alive.
When you're inside the mist nothing makes sense, you almost lost your way as monsters coming for you from every side. the only thing guiding you is the bright red light that you detect as a light that erupts from Albedo's corrupted body.
as a bright red light starting to get closer and closer to your eye sight. Your eyes widened, the horrific sight in front of you. Albedo is slowly levitating upwards, bringing Aether by his neck.
"AETHER!".
Aether grip Albedo's veiny wrist as a light emerge from Aether's hand meaning he is slowly purifying Albedo.
A wave of burn suddenly rush throughout Albedo's corrupted body. He suddenly opened his grip on Aether, without wasting anytime you instantly rushed to aether, letting you a geo shield that pushes Albedo backwards a little bit.
You glance backwards to Aether, he slowly stood up, coughing trying to gain the oxygen back to his lungs. You stab your sword to the ground as a geo shield went around you and Aether.
"MoVe Y/n".
Albedo said. You look up at him, eyes wide. If he really is corrupted all the way how can he still know you. You shake your head, staying strong to protect Aether.
"Y/n...".
Aether whisper, looking at you with sadness. You must've felt pain to hurt Albedo, the man you love so much and he is right but for Mondstat and for Albedo himself. You are determined to save both Albedo and Mondstat.
You pulled out a bracelet from your pocket and throw it to Aether.
"Aether.. can you focus your purify energy to this bracelet? If we put this on Albedo he won't be able to get it of".
Once you put this bracelet down on Albedo's wrist he won't be able to pull it out and if Aether fill that bracelet with Aether's purify energy, maybe.. maybe We can save him. You look back to the hurting Aether and whisper to him.
"I'll hold him and you'll purify him okay".
You whisper, Aether nod as you looked back to the now growling Albedo. Albedo released a spear like weapon out of red light and throw them at you. You run out of your shield and dodge them by jumping from one weapon yo another.
Finally reaching Albedo you grab his hair and pulled it as he falls down along with you. You summon a chain out of geo from the ground and hold Albedo by his neck as tears running down your face.
"I'm sorry this will hurt".
You whisper as you felt Aether run and snapped the bracelet on Albedo's wrist. A loud Pained shout was heard from Albedo as he trashed around the chain and dirt. You hold Albedo's hand, pinning it to the ground on one side as Aether held the other.
The veins on Albedo's body slowly fading out as a heavy breathing was heard from him. Slowly but surely his breathing goes down as his red and black eyes slowly closed.
"A-albedo?".
You call out, removing your hand from Albedo's hand, summoning away your geo chain and looked at Aether. You were about to say something when all of the sudden the red mist surrounding you is slowly disappearing. In your mind there's only one thing.
Albedo has been lifted from the darkness.
His dark power is fading away. You turn your gaze back to Albedo and Aether. Albedo slowly sits up, holding his head with a groan. You and Aether cannot hide your excitement so you both just rushed to him, hugging Albedo tightly.
"Y-y/n... A-aether?".
He whispered after seeing your faces. Years of joy is running down your bloody faces. Shout's was heard and a bunch of foot hitting the ground.
"Albedo!"
Shout's from Sucrose, Kaeya, Diluc and the others filled Albedo's ear. He looked around the place.. Everything is filled with bodies, people crying in pain, loosing their loved ones.
Albedo look at his hand.. he did it.. he hurt Mondstat.. he is a monster. Tears are pooling on the corner of his eyes, no one saw Albedo cried until now as a regretful and despair sob comes from Albedo's mouth as his Sobbing gets louder and louder.
Albedo's body is trembling as he looked down to his hand. He suddenly felt a hand, one by one hugging him, without him realizing Sucrose, Venti, Jean followed by Lisa, Barbara and Noelle hugs Albedo.
"I-i-i'm so-sorry-! I didn't mean-".
"It's okay".
Jean assured him.
"We will find a way to fix this mess".
And with that the sky slowly clears out, Albedo's bracelet is locking away all his curse. The sun started to set as you guys bask in eachother's presence Albedo, being basked in the warmth and reassurance from his friend.. and his beloved y/n makes him calm for a little while. Mondstat will never be the same after this, the damage and the event still lingers.
From there Albedo worked 10x harder to find a way to revive people. Albedo asked and beg for the dead to be froze so when the time comes, he will be able to restore them back to life.
Some people forgive Albedo, some people sill hates him.. wich is understandable, some people never really think it's his fault but either way the only thing you care about is that Albedo is safe.. even if he hurts you.. even if he tries to kill you.. you'll still love him with all your heart.
A/n: i feel like there's something lacking on this story.. i deeply apologize if there's any typo.. and mistakes, feel free to leave a criticism please!
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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years
Text
Did Fate Screw Us?
Summary: Everyone has a Soul Mark. Yours just happens to make you miserable. Your brother, Ken, tries to make it better, but between work and having to care for your siblings, telling Tooru Oikawa that you’re his soulmate really isn’t on your agenda.
TW: Mentions of animal abuse, child neglect, there’s some swearing, a little bit of angst.
A/N: This was supposed to be a cute little one-shot, but it’s over five thousand words and there’s some angst, but it has a happy ending I swear!
You stared down at the tattoo that wove it's way up your arm, the turquoise and white and a strange shade of brown all interwoven and twisted together, coming to a stop right above your heart in a ball of tangled colors.
It was your Soul Mark, a permanent tattoo everyone got when they turned ten years old. Yours was different from everyone else's though. Most people had a small bracelet tattoo over their veins, others had a small ball above their heart like the one where your tattoo ended. Others even had tattoos that covered their entire hands.
Yours though, yours went from the tips of your fingers all the way up your arm, over your shoulder, before sliming to a ball over your heart, whorls and smears of ink that covered your skin.
Your mother had cried the first time she had seen it, but had never told you why.
You had figured it out, years later, in history class.
The bigger the mark, the more skin that was covered, the harder the relationship would be.
You had started to hate the mark after you figured that out. You had thought maybe fate had screwed up somehow.
Even the universe could make mistakes right?
But then you saw him for the first time.
Tooru Oikawa, an amazing setter. 
You had gone to the same middle school, and you'd seen him around in the halls. You had seen him smiling at a pretty girl in your last year there. Everyone was figuring out who their soulmates were, getting crushes and getting over the whole cooties phase.
He was attractive, he was smart, he was an athlete. He was everything society wanted him to be. Except for his mark.
He had always seemed do proud of it, despite it's size, the white and turquoise curled around a color the same shade as your eyes.
You had seen his mark, looked down at yours, and immediately known what was going on.
You hadn't talked to him though, you had realized, even at such a young age, that he was going to be great, that he was going to do amazing things, and that you would only distract him
You had started to cover your mark up, getting up early to cover it completely in concealer, wearing a sweater in the winters as an excuse.
You thought that after middle school you wouldn't have to worry about it.
But then you walked into class on your first day of high school at Seijoh.
He was right there, sitting in class with Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa.
He'd glanced up at you when you walked in, before going back to talking to Iwaizumi, tattoo on full display.
You kept your head down, you went through the motions, you avoided him whenever possible. 
Until the next year, when your brother, Kentarou, joined the volleyball team.
Kentarou, as much as he looked like a delinquent, was a good kid. He was scary looking, but he was sweet, and he always had a hug for you when you needed one.
Which was more often than you would've liked to admit.
"Ken, you need to stop forgetting your phone," you chided as you handed your baby brother his phone. "What if Kaida needs us and I don't answer?"
"I know, I'm sorry, I thought I put it in my bag this morning," he grumbled, taking a drink from his water bottle.
"Just . . . try to remember okay?" you asked, moving your head to look at him.
"Alright," he mumbled.
"Good boy," you teased, ruffling his hair.
"Stop that," he hissed. "You'll get that skin shit in my hair."
"It's called concealer, dumbass, and no I won't."
"Is Kyouken-chan willingly being touched by someone?" a voice cooed, and you tensed when you saw Oikawa step towards you.
"Who's your friend Kyoutani?" Iwaizumi asked, looking at you.
"My sister. Kyoutani (Y/F/N)."
"You two look nothing alike," Iwaizumi said, glancing between the two of you.
"Ken looks like our father, I got more of our mother's looks," you said, trying to act like you weren't being drawn to the setter, like your entire being wasn't aching to be nearer to him.
He was looking at you quizzically, before his eyes darted to your hand, then back to your eyes.
"Remember to text me when you get home," you told Kentarou. "Oh, and I'll be late again tonight because I have a shift at the shelter. Make sure to feed the dogs, and get Kaida to bed on time or so help me, I will ground the both of you."
"I will," Ken hissed.
You nodded to Oikawa and Iwaizumi, walking as slowly as you could manage towards the gym doors.
Once the door was safely shut and you were far enough away, you crouched by the lockers, taking deep breaths.
He must've felt the pull. He must've. There was no way he didn't know now. All your hard work, down the drain just because your little brother forgot his phone.
What if he wanted to talk to you? What if he wanted to try and make something work? What if he wanted to be with you?
"I have to get out of here," you muttered, bolting for the entrance to the school.
________________________________ Your panic subsided when you went to school the next day and Oikawa didn't try to talk to you. Kentarou had remembered everything so you didn't need to track him down, so it was a good day.
Until you got to work.
"We have a new arrival," you supervisor told you.
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good."
"Well, they don't seem to be taking very well to any of our other members. I figured if anyone could get him to calm down, it was you."
"Breed?"
"From what we can tell, a Pitbull Great Dane mix. Cops raided a dog fighting ring."
"Poor babies."
"They found four litters of puppies. Three with six and one with eight."
You shook your head.
Despicable.
"Here he is."
"Oh, poor baby," you cooed, taking in the light brown dog as he trembled in the corner of his kennel. "Hey there fella," you said softly. "Is he violent?"
"Nope, go right ahead," your supervisor said, leaving you to do your job.
"Hey, it's okay," you murmured, stepping inside, shutting the door, leaning against it.
The dog reminded you of someone, with it soft brown eyes and lighter colored fur, but you couldn't place who.
"It's okay," you promised. "I'm not going to hurt you. See? No sharp sticks or shocking guns. I promise, I'm not going to hurt you. I know that it's loud in here."
You slowly stretched your hand out so he could sniff it, watching for signs of aggression. You had enough bite marks to know that sometimes random little things triggered a dog.
No sudden movements and you would probably be fine, but you wanted to make sure.
Slowly, the dog lifted it's head, stretching out it's neck to sniff your hand, licking your palm lightly.\
"There you go. See? I'm not going to hurt you," you said calmly, moving to rub his head softly.
His hackles raised slightly and you drew back.
"Okay, no touching yet, that's okay, we can work up to that," you said.
"Did you get him to calm down?"
"Yeah, but warn everyone not to touch him, he got a little agitated," you told your boss when he came back ten minutes later.
"Do you want this one?"
"If you wouldn't mind giving it to me, yes. I want to make sure he's safe before we give him to a family."
"So he's your responsibility when you're one shift now."
"Alright. Can you get me a harness?"
__________________________ As soon as you stepped through the door after your shift, your little sister Kaida was throwing herself into your legs.
"(Y/F/N)! You're home!"
"Hello little dragon, have you eaten?"
"Sort of, I made myself a sandwich when I got home, but Ken isn't home yet."
"Alright, did you do your homework?"
"Yes," she said proudly showing you her scribbled on math homework.
"Good girl," you cooed. "Go watch some TV while I start dinner, yeah?"
"Alright!"
You smiled fondly as she bolted to the living room.
At nine years old, your sister had the same coarse, frizzy hair of your brother, and she wore braids most of the time to control it, but when she got home for the day they came out. She was such a bubbly person, especially for someone her age, and she made you smile everyday.
You found a pot and filled it with water, digging out a box of pasta.
The door slamming twenty minutes later signaled Ken's return and you smiled at him when he threw his bag down.
"How was your day?"
"Long," he grumbled, moving to the living room, probably in search of Kaida.
He came back in five minutes later and said, "I know you worked today, go sit down, it's my day to cook dinner anyway."
"Thank you," you told him, snatching the brush he had in his hands.
He grunted, moving around the kitchen, taking over.
"Kaida, come here, I'll help you with your hair," you called, and she plopped herself in your lap eagerly.
"You're much better at this than Ken," she told you, making you laugh when Ken made a protest in the kitchen.
"Ken tries his best but he doesn't understand how it feels to have your hair pulled."
You quickly worked your way through her hair, letting it calm you as well as her. She told you about her day, and about how she had met this really cute boy on the way home that had just moved into the neighborhood.
"His name's Takeru Oikawa!"
Ken dropped something in the kitchen and you dropped the brush you were holding.
Your brother knew Oikawa was your soulmate, and you had both agreed to keep it between the two of you until you were ready to face it.
"Ken, are you alright in there?"
"No," he snapped, stepping into the living room.
"What did you drop?"
"I'm not hurt," he told you, waving you away when you rushed over.
"What's with the reaction?" she asked, turning to look at you both.
"We . . . we might go to school with a family member of his," you said. "Did he mention someone named Tooru?"
"Yeah, that's his uncle."
You let out a breath, picking up the brush.
"Sorry we freaked you out baby," you murmured, running the brush through her hair again.
"It's okay," she replied, leaning back into you.
"If you want, you can invite him out for a playdate," you told her.
"We said we'd walk home with each other," she said.
A lot of the kids in the neighborhood walked to school together in big groups, kids who's parents worked early or had older siblings that couldn't take them.
"Okay sweetheart."
"When's Mommy coming home?"
"Late, sweetpea," Ken told her. "She's taking another shift at the hospital this month."
"Oh," Kaida said, deflating a little.
"Dad said that he could take you this weekend if you wanted," you told her, making her perk up.
"Really?"
"Yep, do you wanna go?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" she shouted.
"Okay, go call him," you said, smiling at her enthusiasm.
"You work too hard," Ken mumbled when he sat down. "You look tired."
"I'm fine," you assured him. "Besides, there's a new dog! I think you'd like him."
Ken nodded, slumping onto your shoulder.
"You really should talk to him."
You opened your mouth to argue, but Ken interjected.
"I know I say a lot of shit about him, but he is a good guy, and I think he'd be good for you. I also think he deserves to know."
"He's not going to want me Ken," you said. "He's going to take one look at me and this mark and he is going to laugh and walk away."
"Not everyone is Mom and Dad," Ken grunted.
"I know that," you snapped, then winced. "I know that, but . . . I also know how much he loves volleyball. I know how hard he pushes himself to do better, be better. I'm not . . . I'm not the kind of person he's going to want, or the person he needs."
"You're soulmates, if anyone is made for him, it's you!"
"Mom and Dad were made for each other," you reminded him. "Mom and Dad were soulmates and look how they turned out. Not to mention Grandma and Pops!"
Ken sighed.
"Just . . . think about it please. He wants to know you. All he talks about is how amazing they're going to be and how beautiful they are. He doesn't even know it's you."
"Ken, if he knew me, he'd hate me."
"If he did then he'd be missing out on a lot."
"Ken, you're required to say that."
"I'm not. I'm telling the truth."
You rolled your eyes, but patted his knee.
"Get back in the kitchen, you're gonna burn dinner." ____________________________
A few more weeks went by, and everything was good.
Kaida and Takeru were fast friends, and when she wasn't playing with him, she had gotten hooked on volleyball, just like her brother.
Takeru had taken a liking to your house as well, so there was more giggling going on now.
It made you happy that she had such a good friend, someone that made her smile like that. She had never had many friends.
"Kaida, I want you to remember that I have to work tonight, and that Ken is picking you up, alright?"
"Okie dokie!" she said, dashing into the community center where she was learning to play volleyball with Takeru.
As soon as you got to the shelter you headed for Kuma, the mix that had come in. He still really only liked you, but that was okay.
"Hey big fella!" you said when you walked into his cage.
He had really come out of his shell, he liked the friendlier dogs, and you had brought Ken in, so he was okay with someone other than you.
He didn't like cats, but he didn't seem to mind little children.
"You wanna go for a run?" you asked, holding the harness in your hand.
He jumped and gave a happy little noise that you took as a yes.
Kuma was only about a year and a half old, and he still had the energy of a puppy.
"Okay boy, come on," you cooed, hooking the harness on, opening the door. "I'll be back in twenty minutes!"
You loved going on runs with Kuma, one because no one gave you any problems, two because it gave you the exercise that you missed out on in school. You took the job in lieu of a club, and this gave you the exercise.
"Hey (Y/F/N)!"
"Ken? What are you doing out here?"
"The team is on a run," he said, crouching to pet Kuma, who licked his face. "I saw you and bolted ahead."
He was right, the rest of the boys seemed to be catching up to him and Kuma looked at them excitedly.
He was becoming much more friendly with other people as long as they didn't work at the kennel.
"That's a big dog," Iwaizumi muttered when he slowed down. "Is that yours?"
"No, he's a new rescue that came in earlier this month. This is Kuma, and he's a very good boy."
Iwaizumi let the dog sniff his hand and laughed, rubbing his ears.
"You two need to stop rushing ahead," Oikawa chided, bent over his knees panting.
"Kyoutani was the one that ran off yelling! I wanted to make sure he wasn't gonna deck some poor soul."
"I'm not that bad," Ken muttered.
"Puppy!" Oikawa shouted when he straightened. "Can I pet him?"
"Yes," you said, after making sure his yell didn't startle the poor dog.
"What's his name?"
"Kuma, for now, but when he gets adopted they might change it," you said, scratching his back lovingly.
"(Y/F/N), let's be real here, if you have it your way, you'll be bringing him home," Ken mumbled.
"And that wouldn't be a bad thing. I'd feel better knowing that you and Kaida weren't home all alone with two little terriers as protection," you snapped. "Especially since Takeru has been coming over! No one would ever really wanna mess with you, would they baby?" you asked, cooing to the dog, who licked your cheek.
"How do you know my nephew?" Oikawa asked, suddenly straightening.
"Your nephew is now my d-" you paused, catching yourself. "My little sister's new best friend. Kaida Kyoutani?"
"Shittykawa, how did you not put that together?" Iwaizumi asked.
"They look nothing alike!"
"Bullshit," Ken coughed, glancing at you.
Your wrist buzzed and you sighed.
"Great, now I get to go get mauled by a bunch of five-year-old's and a bunch of five month old puppies," you moaned, waving your brother off Kuma. "Come on boy, let's head back. Remember Ken, you have to pick Kaida up. Mom won't be home tonight, she's pulling a double shift, and Dad said he might stop by. Pops is coming by on Saturday to see us, and I want the house cleaned before then because you know how Pops gets. I feel like I'm forgetting something."
"Homework, food, and bills."
"Bingo," you said, snapping your figners. "God I hate my life," you muttered. "See you later little brother. Come on Kuma, let's get back," you said, breaking into a sprint towards the shelter.
_________________________________ "I'm late, I'm late, I'm so fucking late!" you muttered, rushing through the halls to get to your first class, ignoring the weird stares and murmurs you were getting.
You, Ken, Kaida, Takeru, and Tooru, had somehow managed to get wrangled into a movie night.
Oikawa had dropped his nephew off, and then gotten sucked into the chaos with you and your brother.
Ken was right, he was a good guy, but he had kept staring at you.
You had felt the pull all night, and you had tried to act normal, but something was off.
You were trying to ignore the way you thought he was cute curled up with your sister and his nephew, the way the dogs were at his feet, tails wagging.
He was attractive, and he was smart, and funny, and good with kids and dogs, and he was determined. He was everything you would ever want . . . but were you?
Were you all he would ever want?
The thought kept you awake through the movie, and once you had fallen asleep, you were dead to the world.
You had stayed up so late that you had slept through your first alarm, then your second, and then your third. You had barely managed to get the other two out the door, and you had completely forgotten about yourself until you got halfway out the door before you realized you were still in your pajamas.
You were late to first period, your mark wasn't covered, and Kyoutani didn't have his books for his third period class.
You were this close to a mental breakdown and it showed.
"Are you alright?" Oikawa asked quietly when you snuck into your seat.
"No," you muttered, stuffing your hand into the folds of your skirt to try and cover the mark.
He kept quiet for the rest of class, but he was waiting for you after class ended.
"Do you need to talk about it?" he asked.
"Talk about what?" you asked, heading for your brother's classroom.
"About how you're raising your brother and sister."
"No," you replied. "I'm handling it."
Oikawa arched an eyebrow and scanned you.
"This doesn't happen every day," you assured him, carding your hand through your hair to try and control it a little more.
"How often do you see your mother?"
"Every couple of days usually."
"What about your father?"
"Every few weeks," you told him. "Look, why do you even care?"
"I . . . I don't know," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
"I don't mean to be rude, but do us both a favor and stop asking questions. You won't like what you dig up," you muttered, walking into Ken's class to drop off the books he forgot.
Oikawa looked like he wanted to say something, but one of his fangirls pulled him aside, saving you the trouble of telling him to get lost.
_______________________________ Nothing really changes over the course of the next months.
You do end up bringing Kuma home, Oikawa stops asking questions, and everyone seems to be happy.
He somehow didn't see your tattoo, or if he did, he decided not to say anything about it.
You become a third year, Ken quits the team and then joins again.
Kaida and Takeru get their Soul Marks, and Takeru meets his soulmate the month after.
Kaida hasn't met hers yet, but you're sure that she will soon.
Takeru keeps coming by, bringing his soulmate, who is now also very good friends with Kaida.
Oikawa and the others are training and becoming stronger.
Ken finds out that his soulmate is Yahaba, who is more than happy to avoid that for now.
But then their tournament is coming up, and they can't avoid it, so they start to work together.
You see Yahaba slam your brother into a wall at the game, and you see Seijoh's defeat by the hands of Karasuno, who move onto Shiritorizawa.
You're there to catch your brother when he cries into your shoulder and you assure him that he did his best, that this is not his fault.
Kaida cries with him, and then she cried with you, even when she doesn't understand why you're crying to begin with.
"I want to talk to you," Oikawa tells you one day when you go into the gym to drop off something Ken forgot.
"About?"
"The fact that we're soulmates."
You choked on your own spit, eyes wide when Oikawa reaches for your hand.
"No."
You said it so forcefully that he actually took a step back.
"No?" he asked, confusion and surprise mixing together on his face.
"No, you aren't going to want this. You aren't going to want me. This isn't going to work," you told him, pulling your hands to your chest.
Your panicking, and you know that you're probably overreacting, but . . . you don't want to trap him with you.
So you do the only logical thing you can thing of.
You run. _______________________ He was chasing you!
He had run after you the second he got over the fact that you were running. You were dodging people, heading for the doors.
Why was he chasing you? Was this so important to him that he was willing to miss practice to talk to you about it?
"(Y/F/N)! Stop, just talk to me," he called, pushing through people, trying to catch up to you.
How far were the doors?
Would you make it?
Suddenly, a hand latched onto yours and you were pulled into an empty classroom and you struggled.
"Stop it," Oikawa hissed. "I just want to talk to you about this."
"Talk about what? The fact that our relationship is pretty much doomed from the start?" you snapped, trying to wrench your wrist away from his fingers, which were like iron.
"What do you mean 'doomed from the start'?" Oikawa asked.
"You pay attention in history, right? The more skin the tattoo takes up the harder the relationship."
"Fuck the history textbooks," he snarled, tightening his grip. "My mother always told me the more skin the tattoo took up the more my soulmate would care for me. The more we would love each other."
You let out a wet chuckle.
"Who's right?" you asked, staring him down as you both stood there, wills clashing as your worlds collided.
“Let’s find out,” he said, moving to grip your hands in his.
“What?” you asked, trying to jerk away.
“I said, let’s find out.”
His brown eyes bored into yours as you stared at each other. 
“I want to know, (Y/F/N), if this is something I am going to want. I want to know if this is something you are going to want. We won’t know unless we try. So let’s fine out. Let’s find out together.”
He wasn’t going to let this go, you knew that. He wasn’t going to let this go until he found out.
“Alright.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
_____________________
“Are you sure that you can’t move to Argentina with me? They’re willing to pay for you to come with me,” Tooru said, trying to bribe you.
“I can’t just pack up and move to Argentina, Tooru! What about Ken and Kaida?” you asked, leaning back against his chest to get a better look at him from where you were perched in his lap.
“Hire a babysitter!”
“Tooru!” you chided, hitting his arm lightly. “You know I can’t do that. I have classes starting here in three months. I want to be here for Ken and Kaida until I know that they’re on their feet.”
“But . . . you’ll be so far away,” he moaned, tightening his grip around your waist.
“So? You can still text me every day and you can call me whenever you want,” you told him, kissing his cheek lightly. “Besides, I’ll go to every single game you play against Japan and you can come home for holidays.”
“But . . . what if-?”
“Tooru,” you said, twisting around so you were straddling his hips. “You survived without me until four months ago. You didn’t even know we were soulmates, I think you can survive this. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to stop loving you while you’re gone.”
“You two really can’t keep your hands off each other can you?” Ken asked.
“You can’t say anything little brother,” you retorted, gesturing to where Yahaba was perched in Ken’s lap.
He flushed, but Yahaba chuckled.
“She has a point Ken,” he teased, toying with Ken’s fingers.
“So you really won’t come with me?” Tooru asked.
“You know I can’t. Maybe when I’m out of school and Kaida graduates,” you said, settling back around.
“But that’s so far away,” he whined, burying his face in your neck.
“Doesn’t matter,” you told him. “No matter where you are, what lifetime we’re in, how far apart you think we are, no matter who tries to keep us apart, I will always find a way back to you Tooru. The universe will always find a way to keep us together,” you assured him, taking his hand.
“Promise?”
“I swear it on us,” you confirmed.
“Why us?” he inquired.
“There’s nothing I believe in more than that.”
222 notes · View notes
noritoshiikamo · 3 years
Text
driver’s license 
cause you said forever, now I drive alone passed your street [au where suna is a doctor specialized in memory removal and his last patient of the day is his ex]
pairing: suna rintarou + fem!reader genre: pain, angst, doctor!suna + patient!reader tags//warning: medical procedure of mind erasing, slight suicide ideation, alcohol abuse note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. the songs made me brawled i had to write something about it and i just so happened to finish haikyuu
“it’s odd,” he looked up from the computer screen, osamu approached him pointing to the screen, the last name listed in the appointment schedule under dr suna rintarou. please don’t say it please don’t say anything, he begged silently in his head. “she kinda has her name. haven’t heard her name in ages,” osamu shrugged, grabbing his next patient’s files, “want to get lunch later?” the doctor popped in another stick of gum, leaving before suna could even said a word.
funny that osamu said that. that is his girlfriend. he moved the cursor and clicked at the name. the birthplace, the date, her eye colour, the address and her number; it matches everything he ever memorized of her. except they are no longer together. it has been a month since their breakup.
 she’s an architect. not by choice but she likes art. she’s talented and had once held an art show during school’s open day where they met. she didn’t draw him until they started dating, but she had known some of his close friends who was the subject of her drawings. her parents disproved of her ambitious and to compromise, she agreed to take architectural instead. she stopped drawing completely and suna was the only person in japan that has the largest collection of her paintings stuffed in boxes and behind shelves.
 suna rintarou has been a doctor in inarizaki institute for 5 years now. inarizaki institute was different from others. it was the only medical institution that had successfully developed a procedure to remove unwanted memories. he’s one of the qualified doctors for said procedure. he had done the procedure multiple times now, even on his former high school friends and families but never his own girlfriend.
 is it him she’s removing from her memories?
 he didn’t remember how they broke up. maybe it’s because he was too busy. maybe it’s because she had fallen out of love with him. maybe they just couldn’t stand being in each other’s spaces, but it happened so quickly. she moved out from their apartment, returned when he left to clear out her stuff and he just threw himself back to work.
 he did remember how they met. she was the miya brothers’ neighbor. one night when he came to visit them during semester break years ago, they were in their parents’ car with a girl. suna felt like he had recognized but couldn’t think of where or when. “oi, suna,” the window rolled down and asamu called him over, “come in!” despite being weirded out, he entered the back door of the car. “we are teaching our friend how to drive; can you believe it? she’s in our university and can’t drive to save a life.”
 “shut the fuck up, atsumu or i’ll run you over,” she muttered angrily as she moved the driving gear.
 suna saw the stick going down to reverse instead down further and he immediately reached for her hand. the girl startled at the stranger’s sudden touch. “what the fuck are you d-doing?” she choked up.
 “you’re going to reverse into the wall,” he muttered bluntly, pouting his mouth to the gear. grabbing the stick through her hand, he pulled the gear into drive before letting her hand go. the light from the post shined in and he could see red flush on her face as she nodded, “oh okay, yeah d,” she muttered to herself. she started driving. she wasn’t exactly bad; she just needed a lot of practice.
 so he came over every day of his semester break and accompanied them as she practiced her driving.
 “i can drive you home?” she offered on the last night of his break before he returned to school.
 “you don’t have too.”
 “i insisted,” to which suna agreed and she glanced back at the miya brothers, “get the fuck out.” despite their disgruntlement and the it’s my mum’s car argument, she managed to kick them out. it was just two of them together. “so, i know we went to same high school and university. how come we have never crossed path before?” she questioned as she took her first turn. she memorized the roads to his home. suna shrugged as he fidgeted with the corner of the jacket’s zipper, “i played volleyball in high school.”
 she chuckled, “i’ve never watched any sport matches in high school, sorry. anyway, i’m a last year architectural student by the way. are you taking the same course as osamu?” she glanced at him with a smile. his heart skipped a beat. “y-yeah. i’m in my 5th year of medical.”
 “why not volleyball player?”
 “i got bored.”
 she let a soft exhale and shrugged, “fair enough. i took architectural to please my mother so i’m in no position to give any advice.” she slowed down in front of his house before pulling into a full stop. she pulled into parking and pulled the hand brake. she smiled and fist pumped herself, “did you see that? perfect stop!” suna didn’t expect what was going to happen next. he watched out of control as his arm reached out for her face and pulling her close. what he remembered being in control was asking her boldly whether he could kiss her.
her eyes sparkled and she smiled so widely, “yes.”
so, he did.
she moved into his apartment at the end of his graduation. she didn’t get any job for the first few months while he entered inarizaki institute as medical officer. she took commissions online and waited tables while going to a couple of interviews. he saw a decline in her motivation. when suna returned one night, he found her behind the sofa, drunk out of her mind. what spooked him wasn’t the bottles of whiskey on the floor but the stainless-steel paint scrapper she stabbed the canvas with. she could’ve hurt herself. but, putting her into therapy and pulling strings with some of her friends, she recovered, and he got her an interview. suna watched as she dreadfully shoved her portfolios and files into her bag. 
“you’ll be alright,” he reassured, bringing her a cup of coffee. she sighed and pushed her bangs back, “i don’t know, rin. i just don’t feel like getting another rejection after another and then i’ll just spiral into a-” he stopped her rambling with a kiss. he tasted like coffee; she tasted like their toothpaste. every time she tried to pull away, he pulled her back into the kiss and she could feel him laughing against her lips. “this is going to turn into something else,” she whispered between the kiss and he nodded. he was half aroused. she drank the coffee and kissed him one last time. he felt her fingers slipped from his grip. she stood by the door and waved back.
 “see you?” she beamed.
 “always.”
 suna snapped out of his own memory when an alarm blared out. he looked up past the nurses’ counter and saw a patient being pushed out of room B by a couple of nurses. he knew what goes on in that room; he helped in perfecting the procedure. osamu followed soon. he tugged the blue gloves off and shoved them into the yellow bin. “you would not believe who I met in the waiting room?” by the look of his face, osamu already got the feeling that suna already knew. osamu flipped his file and pulled out a pen. he signed the bottom of the pages and dumping it in the completed pile. “did she tell you?” suna asked.
 “about?” the other doctor asked.
 “the memories she’s erasing. did she tell you?”
 osamu shook his head and pocketed his hand in the white coat. “she asked about you. whether you’re around. i said yeah, he’s on call and she just smiled.” suna stood up and grabbed the file. he felt conflicted. osamu stopped the man before he could enter the room. “look man, I’m sorry about whatever happen between you guys and I’m in no position to judge at all.”
 suna shrugged and smiled, “it’s fine. we were just ruining each other.” the other man nodded understandingly before excusing himself. suna wanted to move but his feet felt heavy. he was glued down. room B was just a few feet away, but he couldn’t move. this is it. the end of them.
 he forced himself into the room. standing in front of the panels and monitor, separating him and her was a one-way mirror. she sat on the seat, talking to the nurses in charge. his heart hurts. she had bangs now framing her face. she’s slight thinner and no longer wore the charm bracelet he gave during their first anniversary. the nurse placed a heart-beat monitor on her thumb and attached a couple more of sensors to her brain, forehead, and neck. his monitor lightened up and spitted out the information. this is it. “doctor, she’s requesting of removal of memory from 2009 up to last month,” the nurse’s words went in his ears and out. it’s of him.
 all his own memories flashed through his mind.
 the memories of every kisses, hugs, the late nights and the earliest of days, the coffees, the spilled paints. memories of every tear he ever wiped and for ever meals she had ever cooked. memories of all the paints of him that she had gifted to him and every night she drove down his streets. for every missed calls and unread texts. the way she touched him and the way she made him felt. he felt suffocated.
 how could he ever love someone else?
 “everything is accordingly. you may press the start, doctor.”
 he looked at the flashing button and back to her. she was looking right at him. she might not see him, but she is looking straight at him and she looked so beautiful. a small smile appeared on her lips as her fingers fidgeted nervously. he felt tears prickling his eyes. his fingers brushed against the button and he slowly pressed it. 
 it took them 7 years to build this much of memories together and it took him 3 minutes to erase it clean from her mind.
 she was drowsy and she had tears running down her face. the nurses rushed in after the red light disappeared and green light beamed. the alarm rang. another memory successfully. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” he heard her from the opened door. shutting off the machine, he immediately rushed out for the door, feared that he might bumped into her and lost it. he hid his shaking hands in his pocket and gritted his teeth.
 “doctor?”
 he stopped. the world stopped spinning and he felt lightheaded. the way she called for him didn’t change, the tone and the pronunciation were the same. it was always melodious yet painful. he turned around to see her being wheelchaired out of the room by the nurse. her eyes were slightly red, and her nose were puffy. the nurse passed her a cup of water. she smiled politely, thanking her and took the cup in her hand. she took a sip, coughing at the coldness of the water down her dried throat. it’s the side effect of the procedure.
 “have we met before?” she asked, innocently.
 suna shook his head and smiled weakly, “no, we haven’t.” he turned to the nurse and nodded. before the nurse could ushered her away, she called him out again. 
 with a smile on her face, she waved goodbye, “see you, doctor?”
 “always.”
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lovlydovlyjaycie · 3 years
Text
Ævi - Frontlines
Hey again! This will be a continued series. The first Ævi series is in my masterlist and is only four parts. This is going to be a ongoing series, so there is going to be a lot more of Ævi to come. :)
Summary: Y/n or also known as Ævi has lived through varies of world events. Now it is 1941, she has excepted that some things cannot be changed so Loki has convinced Y/n to go to New York and live a normal life, a life Y/n always wanted. Or as normal it can be, because new introductions lead to events that didn’t go down in the history books.
Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve Rogers, Peggy, Loki, OC Vera
Warnings: Fluff, Violence, Angst, Me being sad writing this, we’re officially in Captain America the First Avenger now… So I guess spoilers? :( :( :(
Note: Omg.. When I tell you I have been dreading writing this part.. But like actually dreading.. Before I started writing this series I wanted it to be no more than 8 parts.. That obviously didn't work out
When I am writing and particularly writing about Bucky and y/n meeting again or them just being in love I always listen to Pirates of the Caribbean to the theme or Will and Elizabeth and I thought it would be good to share that with you guys. To get in the feels. Right now it jumps from POTC One day and the last minute or so from Drink up me hearties yo ho. I know it is so random, but I cannot get it out of my head.
Series masterlist
Part 13
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It took me a minute to get here, but I was now in the Swiss Alps. I got word that this would be the next place the Howling commandos would go to. They think I'm dead, rightfully so, I fell off a train. Thinking about falling off that train with Bucky hurt, like someone was squishing my heart and I couldn't breathe. How was I gonna explain all of this. I should be dead. What are they gonna think of me being here, but Bucky is not. I sighed and brushed away a tear I felt rolling down my cheek.
I came here to help Steve, so that's what I'm gonna do. Ignore the pain for a second and help out.
I was hiding between the trees with a good out look on the headquarters. Nothing was going on yet. I knew Steve was gonna come soon, I just don't know when. I would need to tell him the truth about me. He's gonna hate me. I couldn't safe his best friend, but I'm alive.
These are times I really wished I was not immortal. Even Loki and Thor are not. They aged since I've met them, but me I'm still the exact same as I first was when I touched the stone. That stupid Life stone, but all I've seen is death. Sometimes I wished I never followed that man that gave me the box or I just had never opened the box.
I sat down against a tree and sighed again. What if all of that never happened? I would be with my friends and family. I have not seen them in almost a thousand years. I am not sure if I even remember their faces. I know I look like my mom, but now I can't imagine what she looks like anymore. It is awful. I am not even sure if I would recognize my own mom if I walked past her.
And the worst part of it all, the most selfish part. It hasn't even happened yet. Nobody is worrying about me being gone. Nobody is looking for me. Nobody is sad that I'm gone. Nobody even knows that I'm gone. I got blasted to the past in 2010 and it's 1945 now. In the mean time I have lived for a thousand years, but no one knows, No one human.
I'm not even sure if I want to go back to Sweden in 2010. Because I know I am not the same person I once was. I know I am not the same person they saw on my last day with them. Maybe one day I will go back to them, but certainly not the same day I had left them.
I shook my head. This was absolutely ridiculous. Of all people why me? Why let me be the protector of Life, yet I am always surrounded by death. Maybe it was time to fully use the Life stone. It has been under a protection spell from Frigga for hundreds of years so I won't be a beacon of power that attracts the wrong people. But because of that spell I never really found out what I could do exactly with my power. Sure I am still strong and I can heal wounds, but what is the extend of my full power? What if I could've helped Bucky... "These Hydra people." I scoffed to myself. Another thing that made me angry. Hydra. Before I got zapped back in time I studied history and never once was there anything mentioned about Hydra. But why? They have done all these horrible things, yet I have never heard anybody say a word about it. How is that even possible..-
My thoughts were interrupted by a loud explosion. I looked up and saw Steve zoom by on his motorcycle. Immediately the bunker started blasting at Steve as soon as they saw him. I kept looking at Steve ready to jump in any moment, but he pressed a button on his motorcycle and made the canon of the bunker explode and he got in with ease.
Steve was doing an amazing job fighting everybody off. He made men go down with ease until he was outnumbered. "Shit." I muttered to myself. I made a move to stand up hand grabbed my shoulder. I swiftly turned around ready to hit whoever grabbed my shoulder, until I realized it was Peggy.
"Y/n?" She said with shock in her eyes. Behind her I could see the colonel and soldiers. This was part of the plan. "How.. How are you alive?" Peggy stammered. I wasn't sure if now was the right time to explain everything to them if they were in the middle of their plan. So I decided to leap forward and embrace her.
"I'll explain everything later, but right now tell me what to do." Peggy let go of me and started to quickly explain that they had caught Dr. Zola and he told them that they were going to drop bombs and we needed to prevent that from happening.
"Move out!" Colonel Philips yelled. He gave me a gun indicating I was gonna fight with them. I followed after them and left and right people were being shot at by Hydra and vaporizing into tin air. Peggy was running next to me. We were both trying to shoot anybody that was a threat and they were trying to shoot us. The closer we got the bigger of a target we were. One Hydra agent got a little too close to Peggy and tried to shoot her, but I quickly moved my arm in the way and my bracelets that covered my lower arms caught the blast. I quickly looked up at Peggy who was looking at me in utter shock. But I turned back to the Hydra agent and ran towards him. I leaped forward and kicked him in his chest, knocking him out.
Peggy came running next to me. "You'll explain later?" She said with a smirk. "I'll explain later." I told her as I grabbed the gun from the soldier.
We both ran inside the facility taking out other Hydra agents while also losing some of our soldiers. The Hydra agents that were blocking our way were almost taken out when one spoke up. "Cut of one head, two-.." And I shot him. "Sorry? What was that? You didn't finish." I said with a smirk.
"Alright this way y/n." Peggy told me. "No, you go. There are more of them here and I'll make sure nobody will surprise you from behind. Now go!" I yelled as I ran the other direction.
And on que more agents emerged. I shot at them and one by one they were all turning into dust. For a second I looked down at the gun. I was amazed that this gun was powered basically by a grain of sand that was from the Tesserect. Only gives me more reason to find the full Tesserect. I shook my thoughts away and started looking for it. The Tesserect might be in a lab and if that ugly red skull is there as well it would just be a bonus. As I started running I realized something.
"SHIT!" It's not gonna be in some lab. Hydra is gonna bomb cities in a plane. He and the Tesserect are on the Goddammed plane. "FUCK!" I yelled to myself as I turned around and started running into the direction Peggy went.
How could I not have thought of that? My mind is so distracted I need to focus. As I ran through the hall I saw soldiers laying on the ground. It pained my heart seeing them. But I will not let their lives be waisted. They can't win, Hydra can't win.
I ran though a big door and ended up in a enormous hallway. This is probably where the plane was, but it was gone. People were still fighting.
"Y/n?" I heard Gabe yell from behind me. I turned around and saw him fighting off a Hydra agent. I ran towards him and kicked the agent off and he slammed into the wall. I put my hand up for Gabe to grab and he did that. "I thought.. Steve and I both thought you and Buck-.." I looked down and shook my head.
"Your ok I see." He said as he gave me a quick hug.
"We still got some things to do. The hugging can wait." Colonel Phillips said as he stepped out of a car with Peggy. I let go of Gabe and walked over to Peggy following her. "Where's Steve? I thought he was gonna be with you." I asked her, my mind running with all the things that could have happened to him.
"He is on the plane. He is going to stop it." She told me while having a quick pace.
We all went to the control tower waiting for a response from Steve. It was all nerve wrecking. Steve was up against someone alone in a plane. And in the mean time more Hydra agents had showed up. Colonel Phillips had ordered the soldiers to fight them off while we waited for a response from Steve.
All the wile I could only think that we could not lose. So many people have lost their lives. Because of this stupid war, because of Hydra. So many innocents. They need to be avenged. And Steve has the power to do that. He needs to stop that plane and prevent more people from losing their lives.
"Come in this is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" We heard over the radio. Peggy immediately went over to the speakers.
"Steve is that you? Are you alright?" Peggy asked in concern. "Peggy, Schmidt's dead!" Steve said over the coms. Relief washed over me. It is done then, we won.
"What about the plane?" Peggy asked Steve. "That's a bit tougher to explain." Steve answered back. There has got the be some place where he can safely land.
"Give me your coordinates, I'll give you a safe landing site." She pressed on. My heart was pounding. We won right? I was a bit unsure now. I didn't like the way this was going.
"That's not gonna be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down." Steve explained. Colonel Phillips tapped my shoulder and pointed to the door. I closed my eyes. I knew where this was going.
We walked out of the room and everything started to blur. We had to win. Steve coming back alive is us winning. We had to win. Everyone in the hall was quiet, besides the gunshots you could still hear from outside. I think we were all trying to listen to what the conversation was with Peggy and Steve.
In just three days time I can not lose.. I can not lose two people I care about. "Please live Steve." I whispered to myself as I looked down.
"This is my choice." I heard Steve say faintly over the coms. "No." I whispered as I shook my head. My heart was pounding so fast I could feel it in my ears. I felt so powerless. Please live. I thought to myself again and again. "Please live, you're a good man Steve." I said quietly to myself again. Anticipating what would come next.
I heard them talk about a dance. Scheduling a date.
"I'll show you how. Just be there." Peggy said her voice wavering.
"We'll have the band play something slow. I'd hate to step on your..." Silence.
I took a few steps back until I was leaning against the wall and closed my eyes for a second. We won, but what did we lose? I let out a wavering breath. I felt myself turn hot. Again I thought of why this was not in any of the history books. I never learned about Hydra, Captain America or the Howling commandos. Was this all for nothing.
My anger was boiling inside of me. All these lives lost.. and for what? I failed, I failed to do the one thing I was supposed to do.
Then something clicked in my mind. If all of this was not important enough to be written down and remembered in books, I'll make sure there is nothing to remember. I am going to kill all the Hydra agents, every last one of them.
I took a deep breath and stood up right and started to head towards the gunshots that were still going on outside.
"Where are you going Ironside?" Colonel Phillips asked.
"To do something I should've done right from the beginning." i yelled back as I went for the door.
As I came to the entrance our soldiers were taking cover. We had the facility. But the Hydra agents were still shooting trying to get through and there were a lot more than I initially expected.
"What are you doing here?! Take cover!" Gabe yelled from his hiding spot at me. I gave him one look before ignoring him and walking straight into the line of fire.
My hands started to glow and I put them in front of me to catch all the blasts that were coming my way. Their guns were strong but I was stronger. Soon everybody from Hydra was shooting at me while I still walked forward. I wanted to be far enough away from my soldiers.
"Y/n!" Gabe yelled after me.
The magic glow started to slowly surround me doing it's job of protecting me.
When I was far enough I closed my hands making fists. "You get what you deserve." I said quietly. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my power. Where it was coming from and where I wanted it to go. I felt it the power all over my body, but it was the strongest by my heart. I felt it was contained, caged almost. I took a deep breath.
And in one swift motion I opened my hands and put my arms up to my side.
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Gold and white glow blasted out and swirled all around me, it made me slowly float in the air. It became bigger and bigger quickly and as soon as it hit the agents it vaporized, leaving nothing behind. In seconds the Hydra agents the were attacking us were completely gone.
This power felt great. Finally it was being let out after so long. They were getting what they deserved. All of them.
"Y/N! Y/N!" I heard someone yelling from behind me. I turned around. It was Peggy with fear written all over her face.
...
..
1972
"Love, you are losing yourself with all this power. You need to control it or it will control you." Loki told me with seriousness in his eyes. "Look around you. Look what it is destroying." I looked up at him. His eyes looked full of sorrow. He was right.
I turned around. Kattegat. All the memories I had here. It was all gone now.
..
.
To be continued
Next: Ævi - The Battles That Are Fought
Let me know what you think :)
Sorry it took so long with this one, I had a busy few weeks :(
Let me know if you wanna be tagged!!
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elzemayne · 4 years
Text
Memories
Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima x Reader
Genre: Angst to Fluff
Warning: None
Word Count: 1,570
Summary: Kirishima gets injured in a fight leading to amnesia
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
As you heard a small groan come from the bed beside you, you quickly leaned over with wide, concerned eyes and grabbed your Kirishima’s hand tightly.
“Eiji?” you asked, as your boyfriend slowly regained consciousness. At the site of his scarlet eyes finally opening, you couldn’t hold back the tears that were already beginning to form. “Oh thank god,” you whispered as you leaned in as close to him as you possibly could.
“W…what happened?” he asked, his voice weak as he brought his hand up to his forehead, hissing in pain. He suddenly attempted to sit up and you quickly reached out to put your hands on his shoulders to support him.
“Please don’t push yourself too much,” you begged, as he fell back into the pillow below him. “You had a really bad villain attack and now you’re at the hospital,” you explained, rubbing small circles onto the back of his hand that you were holding.
“Oh…” Kirishima stated, slightly confused but mostly tired as he pulled his hand away from yours to rub his eyes. “I don’t really remember that…” he added, lowering his hand back down and finally turning to face you.
“It’s okay, the doctor said you might forget some things, but it’ll come back, so don’t worry, okay?” you said, with a warm smile, relieved that your boyfriend seemed to be doing well.
You reached out a hand to brush away some hair that was stuck to his forehead but were surprised when he flinched away from you. You froze there with your outstretched hand for a moment before quickly pulling it back.
“Sorry, Eiji, I didn’t mean to scare you,” you apologized, smiling once more.
Kirishima, however, frowned at your words.
“Thanks…but my name is Eijirou, not Eiji,” he stated, correcting you gently. You stared at him blankly as he turned away from you and fumbled around the bed.
“Hey, you’re the nurse, right? Do you know where they put my phone? Gotta text the agency and let them know where I am.
You froze in place once more as you stared down at your boyfriend of 5 years. The man you loved more than anyone else in the world. The man who you had shared countless precious moments with.
“Eiji…it’s me,” you managed to whisper softly, pointing to yourself.
You gazed at him with growing desperation in your eyes, praying that this was a prank or that he was just confused. But when he turned to you with a blank stare, you knew that your worst fear had come true. The doctors had said he might forget things, and the thought had crossed your mind but not like this. Never like this.
“Sorry…who are you?” Kirishima asked with a sheepish look on his face.
You kept your eyes on him as you let out a small noise that was halfway between a gasp and a pained squeal as you sat back in your seat. Hurriedly gripping onto the side of the chair in an attempt to ground yourself you shook your head. You tried to calm your breathing but you couldn’t stop your heart from beating wildly in your chest.
“I…” you began, slowly, feeling your throat constrict around your words. “No, Eiji, come on. It’s me! It’s Y/N!” you plead, trying to explain yourself but failing miserably. Kirishima looked at you with growing concern which only made you feel worse – you were supposed to be helping him heal, not hurting him even more.
“I’m really sorry, but I don’t know who you are,” Kirishima responded, this time a bit more sadly. He could tell that his words were having an effect on you, but he didn’t have the heart to lie to you.
You felt your hands begin to shake and you were about to try to explain yourself one more time when the door of the room burst open.
“Ah, Mr. Kirishima, you’re finally awake,” the doctor said as she walked into the room. You pressed your lips together and sank back even farther into your seat as Kirishima’s attention was turned away from you.
“Hey doc! Thanks for patching me up, sounds like I got into a bad fight,” Kirishima said, laughing a bit and regaining his energetic, friendly demeanor. “At least that’s what they said!” he added, pointing a finger over to you.
The doctor nodded went on for a bit, explaining what had happened to Kirishima, the procedure they had to undergo for him, how long he would need to be in the hospital, and all the medications and side effects that he might be feeling. When she discussed the amnesia, she made sure to emphasize that the memory loss would most likely be temporary but that it was possible some of it could be permanent.
You felt the hole in your chest deepen at her words as you licked your dry lips and pressed your eyes closed, willing the tears away. You had to be strong for Kirishima. He had always been your rock, your boulder, and now it was time for you to help him no matter what. You only hoped that he would remember you again soon.
You tried to keep up with the doctor’s words as she went on about treatments and medications, but when she got to visitation hours, but then she chuckled slightly.
“Although that doesn’t really apply to you. That one over there hasn’t left your side in days. You’re quite the lucky man if I do say so myself,” the doctor mused, jotting down something on a clipboard before asking if the two of you had any other questions.
When she was met with silence, shaking heads and muttered ‘thank yous’ she nodded and took her leave. As soon as she was gone, Kirishima turned to you with wide eyes.
“Wait, you’ve been here the whole time? Why?” he asked, suddenly intrigued. You fumbled with the bracelet on your hand that spelled out E.K. & Y.N. before giving him a small, sad smile. Your eyes were still watering, but you were slowly getting more of a handle on the tears before they threatened to spill more.
“Because I love you,” you stated weakly. “And because we’ve been dating for years and we live together,” you added, dryly chuckling a bit. You watched as realization came over Kirishima, his eyes widening even more if possible as his mouth parted open slightly.
“Wait, we’re dating?” he asked, suddenly. “Like dating dating?”
You nodded slowly as a small flicker of hope ignited in your stomach. Was it possible the memories were already coming back?
“Wow…but you’re so pretty!” he suddenly exclaimed, catching you off guard. “Why would someone like you be with me?”
His question made you laugh genuinely even as you sniffled a bit and shook your head.
“I should be asking myself that question,” you said, chuckling a bit and resisting the urge to throw your arms tightly around your boyfriend. “I don’t think there’s a minute that goes by when I’m not grateful to have you in my life, Eiji,” you said, with a smile on your face.
Kirishima’s eyes lit up at your words as he gave you a grin.
“Oh man, now I’m angry I don’t remember everything about you!” he exclaimed, bringing a hand onto yours and resting it there for a moment. You gazed down at your hands on top of each other before looking back at your boyfriend.
“You don’t have to say yes but…is it okay if I hug you?” you asked, slowly, not wanting to put pressure on Kirishima but wanting more than anything you cling to the man you loved.
You could try to be the bigger person and you could try to be his support, but all you wanted to do right now was hold him tightly and assure yourself that he was still here. That everything was going to be okay. Kirishima’s smile didn’t waver at all as he opened up his arms.
“Yea, of course you can! We’re dating after all, right?” he exclaimed, happily.
The familiar warmth and positivity that flowed from Kirishima made you immediately fall into him. You tried to be careful to avoid any of his bandages as you wrapped your arms around him tightly, allowing a few tears to fall from your eyes.
“Y/N…” you heard Kirishima whisper in a knowing voice and you smiled through your tears as you nodded into his neck. Pulling away from the hug, you wiped your eyes away and nodded towards him with resolve.
“Okay, we’re gonna work hard together and kick amnesia’s ass!” Kirishima exclaimed, lifting up his fist with renewed energy. You nodded and laughed, despite the tears still wet on your face, and Kirishima joined your laughter as he wiped your cheeks with his fingers.
“Maybe let’s just start by looking at some old photos to bring back some memories,” you suggested, reaching for you phone.
Kirishima agreed and as you began to show him all of the pictures you had of the two of you, you watched his eyes brighten. He asked questions and every now and again would remember a specific place or event, making you cheer lightly and give him a small hug.
It would be a long road, but you were determined to either bring back the Kirishima you loved, or fall in love with the new Kirishima while trying.
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jungshook69 · 3 years
Text
Love is a myth :: 04 (Finale)
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DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t represent the members’ actions or the army’s actions in any manner it’s pure fiction. This is an original work, do not copy. The taglist is open if you want. Taglist is now closed.
WORD COUNT: 4.8K words (it’s the finale y’all don’t look at me like that)
MAIN PAIRING:  musician! Yoongi X waitress! female reader
SIDE PAIRING/S: Jungkook X female reader ; Taehyung X female reader
GENRE: FWB! au ; Strangers to lovers! au
WARNINGS: Implied smut (Forgive me cuz I suck at writing it, no puns intended) ; Mentions of alcohol and smoking (I do not condone smoking) ; Profanity ; Mentions of infidelity ; Heavy angst ; Self loathing (Namjoon’s about to wack me in the head with his slipper) ; I apologize in advance if there’s any spelling errors.
SUMMARY: "You covered your bare form with the silk sheets beneath you, as you watched him walk out your door without a word." // "Love is a myth. All that existed between you two was pure lust." // "The last rule was if anyone of the two of you caught feelings for the other, the deal would be off."
SERIES MASTERLIST: Trailer » Meet the cast » Chapter #1 » Chapter #2 » Chapter #3 » Chapter #4
STATUS: Complete
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You were even more motivated than ever to get ready for that blind date. Your fight with Yoongi from 4 hours ago was still fresh in your mind. You needed to get your mind off of things, and this date provided the perfect escape. You looked down at your phone that flashed with a new message.
 New message from ‘Michael “Jackie”-son’(2):
‘Dress in something fancy’
‘Address: XXX, 47th street’
 After ripping through every dress in your closet, you finally settled on going for a sleek, deep wine-coloured, silk gown that hugged your curves, but also loosely flowed to your feet. A slit ran down your left thigh up to your ankles through which your black lingerie stocking was sticking out. Yes, you’d chosen black lingerie for the night. It was the one you felt most confident in. Your hair was pinned into a simple, elegant, low bun, some loose strands of hair framing your face. You wore a simple chain choker, some elegant bracelets, shiny black pumps, and tiny pearls on your ears. Your lips were tinted in a gorgeous wine-shade, and your eyes were lined with a black liner. You knew your bear arms would feel cold, but you felt confident in your looks for once. But sadly this much reminded you of how your mother would dress. You pushed all these thoughts aside and grabbed your clutch, before you could make a tardy first impression.
 You stood before the building, drinking in the beauty of the exterior. You weren’t too surprised as you had worked at a 5-star restaurant for the majority of your life, but you were fairly nervous as you had never been on the receiving end of such ambience, ever since you had run away from your family’s wealth when you were 16.
 You walked in and were immediately greeted, “Good evening ma’am, how may I help you?”
 “Ummm… I have a reservation for two under the name Mr. Kim?”
 “Okay, I’ll check that for you.”
 You looked around and observed the luxurious decor of the place while the hostess went through the registry. She finally cleared her throat and spoke up, “Yes ma’am, Mr. Kim has been here for 2 minutes already, if you follow me, I shall take you to your seat.” She said smiling.
 Your palms start sweating as you follow the hostess to your table. Why were you so nervous? Was it because he was rich? Was it because he’d treated you to such a fancy place just for a blind date? Was it because you were afraid to break it to him how you were only expecting to have a good time, and not a committed relationship?
 Your brain most definitely started malfunctioning when you saw the hostess motion you towards a man sitting at what you presumed was your table. You took small strides as you made your way over to the intimidating man. He pulled back your chair for you and seated himself in front of you.
 And when your friends said this man was devilishly handsome, they weren’t exaggerating. His skin was clear and almost glowing. He was dressed in a fitted black blazer and trousers to match, along with a classic white button down underneath. His eyes were deep and intriguing, making you want to sit and stare into them all day. His lips were perfectly curved and looked inviting. You noticed two cute moles, one below his lip, and the other below his nose. His hair was a gorgeous jet black and was gelled back. A single strand cascaded on his forehead making him look even more suave. His poise held confidence, his shoulders held high, which seemed intimidating enough to you.
 “Good evening Miss. Y/N.”
 You thought his looks had attacked you enough. But that wasn’t the end of it. It’s when he spoke that you melted. His voice made goosebumps travel down your spine. What had you gotten yourself into? There’s no way this man was going to give you just a night of fun! What was Jackie thinking?
 “G-Good evening Mr. Kim.” You said trying to cope with his formalism.
 “Can we drop the act?” he asks, your eyes widening in surprise.
 “Pardon?”
 “I meant I know I’m intimidating, but like this is a bit much isn’t it?”
 “Wha… but you…”
 “Jackie said, and I quote, ‘You got money right? Flaunt it!’.” He says smiling.
 “Oh god.” You say trying to hold back a smile and failing.
 “Sometimes I wonder how Mark tolerates her.” He says giggling.
 “They do love each other a lot.” You say sighing.
 “Hey ummm… Y/N?” he says.
 “Yeah?”
 “Wanna get out of here?” he asks, eyes shining.
 //
 You were sweating and panting as you held onto his shoulders.
 “Taehyung, go slower, you’re killing me!” you yell out.
 “Jeez what are you? 60?” he scoffs.
 “Ayy you try walking in my heels!” you roll your eyes.
 You were both currently walking up the stairs to an old skating rink that overlooked the entire city. Taehyung held a takeout bag with 2 simple diner style burgers in them, while his other hand was clasping yours, helping you get up the last flight of stairs. You finally reached the spot he told you about and gasped at the sight you saw. You could see the entire skyline from here and it was a gorgeous sight to enjoy while eating the perfect comfort food.
 You both sat down and Taehyung handed you your dinner. “I much prefer these burgers than some expensive ass Pacific Bluefin tuna.” He says with a mouthful of food.
 “I’m surprised at how humble you are.” You say sincerely.
 “Yeah, the key is to never forget your roots.”
 “Sometimes people need to forget their roots…” you whisper unconsciously.
 “What?” he asks.
 “Uhh… the burgers are delicious.”
 “I know right? Mark doesn’t like them.”
 “Well Mark can go jump off a cliff.”
 “I couldn’t agree more.” He said smiling wide, as you admire his beautiful smile.
 “To be honest I never thought you’d be such a breath of fresh air when I first saw you.”
 “I tend to leave such a first impression.”
 “Umm… actually… I just wanted to clarify.” You say as you finish your burgers. “I don’t wanna lead you on. I’m not looking for anything serious.”
 “Well you’re lucky, because I’m not either. I tend to travel a lot. And I tend to fool around here and there and not stay emotionally grounded with anyone.” He says shrugging.
 “I hate commitment too. I just like to have a fun time.” You murmur.
 “Want me to show you a fun time?” he asks smirking.
 //
 30 minutes later, you were back against the wall of your apartment, as your lips were engulfed by Taehyung’s. His tongue felt hot, clashing against the walls of your mouth, as you shamelessly moaned into the kiss. His blazer had long been discarded on your floor, and your hands were tangled in his soft black hair. His hands roamed on your body rather daringly. His hands travelled up the length of your leg, causing goosebumps across the skin of your exposed thigh. His long fingers gripped around the meat of your thighs before he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped onto his shoulders to balance yourself.
 The kiss was sloppy and heated with none of you willing to stop for breath. His hands undid your hair and let your curls fall around your shoulders. His fingers thread through your long locks and he pulled on your hair, biting your lip as he broke the kiss. “You’re gorgeous.” He murmured shakily. You gave him a sly smirk and pulled his neck, connecting your lips again. He broke apart again, and stared into your eyes. His deep brown orbs were completely blown out, drowning in lust, and you were sure you matched it with the same darkness in your eyes. His voice was breathless as he said, “Why is the god damn zipper so tiny?”
 You couldn’t help but giggle at his urgency. “What’re you laughing about?” he asks furrowing his eyebrows.
 “It’s just you sound like those guys who struggle with a bra clasp and end up giving up in frustration.” You laugh out loud.
 “Oh I’m not giving up. You best believe I’m getting that god damn dress off of you.” He says, his voice husky.
 He turned you around and dropped you on your bed. He climbed over you, his leg landing between your thighs, his hands working on taking off your dress. He devoured your lips with an almost animalistic hunger when he’d finally exposed your lingerie to him.
 //
 Your chest was heaving as you stared up at the white ceiling fan. You had a déjà vu from about 2 weeks ago, from one of the many nights with Yoongi, where you had watched him leave after satisfying both your needs. You turned your head to see Taehyung’s angelic face next to you, as you catch his eyes already on you.
 “Why’re you staring at me like that?” you ask smiling.
 “I’ve slept with a lot of people ‘for fun’. But trust me when I say I’ve never wanted to stay back and cuddle as much as I do with you.” He says sighing.
 “Don’t fall in love with me Kim.” You say rolling your eyes.
 “It’s next to impossible, but I’ll try.” He says sarcastically, receiving a playful nudge from you in response.
 “Pillow talk has never been part of my routine…” you speak out, sincerity lacing your tone.
 “Me too…” he whispers and what he does next shocks you. He places his head on your chest, his face burying into the crook of your neck, and his arms wrap around your waist, sending shivers across your bare skin.
 “W-What’re you doing?”
 “Don’t think about it too much, just relax.” He huffs out, his breath running against your warm neck.
 You relax under his touch and involuntarily find your hands wrapping around his head as you nuzzle him closer. You let out a shaky breath as this reminds you too much of your college boyfriend. “Do you have to leave tomorrow?” you ask in a daze.
 “Sorry but yes… but I have a feeling I’m not gonna lose contact with you like I do with other people I sleep with…” he said smiling.
 “Me too…” you say letting your tired eyes flutter shut.
 //
 You wake up to a different sound everyday it seems. Today you woke up to the sound of what sounded like empty plastic bottles falling. Your eyes met with Taehyung’s, who came stumbling out of the washroom. “Sorry if I woke you up, I accidently dropped the shampoo bottles on your counter.”
 “No it’s okay.” You say smiling as you got up and put on your robe onto your naked form.
 You watched Taehyung, as he was folding the sleeves of his white button down to his elbows. His hair cascaded over his forehead in a messy, but still intimidating manner. He looked up at you as he grabbed his coat. “Well I should get going, my driver’s downstairs.”
 “Oh okay…” you murmur softly.
 He walks up to you and lifts up your chin ever so lightly. You meet his warm smile and you instantly melt. He leans in and lands a soft kiss against your lips. “I left my number on a note on the night stand. Promise me, we’ll stay in touch.”
 “Sure.” You say sighing, with a sad smile.
 “Hey, I meant to be friends, not for just hooking up again…” he says chuckling lightly.
 “Oh…” your eyes were wide.
 “Well I have to go now, bye Y/N I had a great time…” he says walking away, his hand slipping from your hold.
 You watched as he left your place, and you went to take a shower. Somehow this time when you heard the familiar click of the door, you didn’t feel hurt. Even though Taehyung was gone, you didn’t feel sad. Did it have anything to do with the affection he had shown you, besides the lustful sin you had committed?
 //
 Yoongi walked up the stairs of your building. His hair was a mess, his eyes were swollen from not getting enough sleep. He didn’t like the way he had yelled at you yesterday. He wasn’t in the right mind and he was just angered when you had told him that the memories he held dearest to his heart were a mistake. He finally reached your floor at 9 am in the morning, hoping he could resolve a few unspoken issues. Confrontation was always Yoongi’s go-to method.
 But Yoongi stopped in his tracks when he saw a man with tussled dark hair close the door to your apartment. He could only assume the worst by the sight in front of him. The man passed by Yoongi, bowing out of courtesy on his way to the stairs. All his obsessive thoughts started coming back to him. Maybe you didn’t want to go back to being friends. Maybe you should stick to the deal you had made. The slight bit of confidence Yoongi had when he was making his way to meet you was wiped away as he turned on his heel and made his way towards the exit.
 He needed some time. You needed some time. Alone.
 //
 The next whole week had gone by in a blur. Yoongi was procrastinating on whether or not to talk to you, ultimately deciding against it. You had continued to ignore Yoongi’s presence in your workplace the whole time. He didn’t walk you home every night since. You had also begun texting Taehyung from time to time, and you both had settled on being just friends, since you learned you both much enjoyed each other’s goofy side. Your life was in a constant loop, going to work, ignoring Yoongi, reaching home, and sleeping, only to repeat the same schedule every other day of the week.
 But today was a bit different. It was a Saturday night, and tonight was important for you, and every other employee. Tonight, all the heads and managers of the other branches of this ambiguous chain of luxury restaurants, were here to dine. Along with the CEO of this chain. You knew you were a waitress, but you had assisted in cooking tons of times before. Tonight they had all the experienced heads, like you assist in cooking, while they assigned the newly trained rookies as hosts and hostesses. You were all told to be super attentive and to make your nerves worse, you were being supervised by your head chef and manager Kim Seokjin.
 But the timing was completely wrong. Today your thoughts about your personal life were unnecessarily heightened. Seeing Yoongi working his fingers across the monochrome keys of the sleek black piano, he himself being dressed in an all-black suit and shirt tailored to be strained across his firm chest, was extremely distracting. You tossed the meat into the pan, aware of the powerful gaze of Seokjin standing in the corner of the kitchen.
 You tried to vaporize the alcohol by doing a simple flambé. You had done it tons of times before. You tilted the pan so the fire could catch the alcohol and a flame could erupt in your pan. But your mind being lost elsewhere you were shocked when the flame came on, and failed to move out of the way in time, burning your exposed forearm in the process. You yelped in surprise and pain as Maya took the pan from you for relief.
 “Chef, focus! This is no time to slack!” Seokjin’s voice rang through the loud kitchen.
 You huffed in annoyance and took the pan back from Maya explaining to her you’re okay, and began tossing the meat, ignoring the searing pain in your arm and the mark that was beginning to darken. As soon as all the dishes were made, you were given a 5 minute breather, till you waited for new customers to arrive. You stood in the corner, your hands cupping the burn on your hand in pain. You looked up in surprise when you heard a slam on the table in front of you. You watched Seokjin walk away, as you looked down at the ice pack he had left for you on the table. You couldn’t help but land a small smile as you iced the burn on your arm.
 It wasn’t 10 minutes later, and you were already pan frying zucchinis and slicing cherry tomatoes. Your break had barely lasted 2 minutes, before you had been called in to make a very important dish for the CEO’s family which had just arrived. “Move it! Move it! We don’t want to keep Mr. Kang waiting!” you heard Seokjin clap his palms together.
 What didn’t help your sense of urgency and added to the pressure was Yoongi entering the kitchen, as he stood in the corner having a chat with Seokjin. You knew that they were close, but you never knew Yoongi was close enough to lay a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder like that. You immediately placed the dish onto the counter, your mind distracted by Yoongi’s presence.
 Before you knew it there was a sharp call of your name leaving Seokjin’s lips. “CHEF Y/N?!”
 You rushed towards the counter, scared out of your wits. You watched as Yoongi’s eyes met yours in a sense of panic. “Y-Yes Mr. Kim?”
 “DID YOU DROWN THIS SALMON IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN AND PLACE IT ON THE CEO’S PLATE?”
 “N-No sir…”
 “IT’S SALTIER THAN THE BOTTOM OF THE PACIFIC! YOU KNOW WHAT COULD’VE HAPPENED IF WE SEND THIS PLATE OUT? YOUR HEAD IS NOT IN THE GAME CHEF! WE DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR AMATEURS IN THIS ESTABLISHED CHAIN!”
 “I-I’m sorry sir…” you said trying not to let the humiliation get to you.
 “You are one of my trusted employees so this is a warning, but if this happens again, I’m gonna have to let you go, you understand that chef?” Seokjin finally calms down and says.
 “Y-Yes sir…” you feel everyone’s eyes on you.
 “Retire for the night chef. You’re too distracted. We’ll fill in with someone else. You can leave.” Seokjin announces before leaving the kitchen. You take off your apron and before any of the others can ask you any questions, you stride out the back door. You sit down on your heels in the dark alley and hold your head and pull on your hair in frustration.
 Damn you Min Yoongi.
 Your cheeks stained with long gone tears, you held a cigarette up to your lips, as you tried to calm yourself down. You heard the door to the kitchen creak open.
 “Don’t try to ask me if I’m okay Jackie because frankly I’m n—” you speak out without looking.
 “The name’s Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Not Jackie.” A low voice echoes down the walls of the alley.
 All you can do is let out a huff of frustration and crush your cigarette under your shoe. “What do you want from me?”
 “I don’t want anything from you… just wanted to check on you…”
 “Since when do you care about my feelings?” you ask rhetorically, not expecting an answer.
 “Since last month I suppose, since when we walked to your apartment that night.” His straight forward answer surprises you.
 “What are we doing Yoongi?! What the hell is going on with us?!” you ask frustration lacing your tone. “We’re supposed to be fuck buddies. And we haven’t even had sex in 2 weeks! And before I know it, we’re sharing deep secrets with each other and talking to each other like we’ve known each other for years, and kissing each other like we’re in love—”
 “Because I am in love.”
 //
 Yoongi stops your little rant and shocks you with his words. You weren’t expecting such a direct answer to leave his mouth. You stood up, brushing out your skirt and muttered softly. “W-What?”
 “You heard me. I’m in love.” He enunciates.
 “But why?” you ask, oblivious. “I’m damaged goods. I’m toxic. We both are in a toxic relationship.”
 “But I’m willing to work to fix that.” Yoongi says with soft eyes. “I want to fix that gaping hole that the bastard left in your heart 6 years ago.”
 “Listen I really like you too, but I don’t want to… hurt you…”
 “You would never intentionally do that…”
 “I-I’m not ready…”
 “I’ll be here for you when you’re ready. This is new to me too! We can work through it together, please Y/N just trust me.”
 You sigh loudly. Before you could think you grabbed his collar and landed a kiss on his lips. He stumbled, but eventually his arms snaked around your waist, holding you so tight, afraid to let you go. You broke the kiss and looked into his beautiful deep brown orbs. “You really wanna do this?”
 “Yes.” He smiles and lands a small peck on your cheek.
 You smack his chest playfully and say, “You’re creeping me out, what happened to the Yoongi who could never even give me a straight compliment?”
 “Well I’m afraid someone changed him…” Yoongi says after thinking.
 “Oh really? Who may that special someone be?” you smirk playfully.
 “This woman at work. I’ve known her for 4 years, but never got around to talking to her until about 2 months ago.” He says chuckling.
 “Wow what a coward.” You scoff.
 “Well I don’t care, because I proudly simp for her now.” He says, his precious gummy smile making a rare appearance.
 You tug his collar, and smile as you look into his eyes. You lean in painfully slow, your breath ghosting his lips, but never coming close enough to touch them. “Quit playing me like that.” Yoongi whines making you giggle.
 “Well maybe I should—”
 “Miss. Y/N— oh sorry, please meet me inside, I need to have a word with you chef.” Seokjin says from behind the door.
 You immediately shove Yoongi away and walk back into the restaurant, your cheeks on fire. “Yes sir?” you say once you’re inside facing him.
 “I’d expect you to be a bit more professional. I didn’t peg you as the type of person to have a romantic rendezvous behind your workplace, but go off I guess.” He sighs. “Well getting to the point, I just wanted to say that, please maintain your work ethic. Your professionalism is something I’ve always respected, and something that made you stand out in this field. And I’d love to keep you in this kitchen, so please focus on your job.”
 “Yes sir.” You say softly, feeling a bit relieved.
 “And… I apologize for over reacting a while ago. I was not in the right head space. It’s just the CEO never stops pestering me on the tiniest details, and I wanted to prove him wrong, and show him that I can run this place. So if he received an overly salted plate, he would hold that against me my whole life.”
 “I understand sir. You don’t need to apologize. I’ll be sure to maintain my work ethic and never make a careless mistake like that again.” You say smiling.
 “Great. Well have a good night chef.” He says before bowing in courtesy and exiting the empty kitchen. You noticed that all the dishes had been done, so you went back to grab your coat and exited the restaurant to your new life waiting for you in the dark alley.
 //
 You were pretty sure you made the cab driver uncomfortable, but it’s nothing he hadn’t seen before. You both had long forgotten the sweet kisses and passionate hugs you guys had given each other merely 30 minutes ago, when you confronted each other, and now you were busy devouring each other’s lips, your tongues twisted in a feverish make out session.
 You stumbled into a familiar apartment, not yours, but in fact Yoongi’s. It had been 3 weeks since you’d last been here. You wasted absolutely no time as you both hurriedly discarded all your clothes onto the floor. Yoongi gripped your hip, with enough force to bruise it, as he lifted your form across the house and dropped you onto his bed. You drank in the familiar scent of Yoongi’s sheets around you, and the sight of a hovering Yoongi above you. His eyes mirrored yours, drowning in lust. His hair was disheveled and he looked at you with hunger. His lips landed on your neck, as you tilted your head the other way to make room for him to explore as much as he could. His hands ran along your sides as your hands raked his back. Your eyes fluttered shut, as you let out an uncontrollable moan, when you felt his teeth nip into the skin at your collarbone. You felt his warm tongue lick the mark he had made on you, as he continued his way down your torso.
 “You sure you wanna do this?”
 “Bitch, we’ve fucked 15 times before!” you laugh out loud.
 “Jeez woman, I’m out here trying to make it romantic, and you just rail me like that?”
 “Just shut up and do it. I need you right now.” You whine, which seems to turn him on.
 //
 Your eyes flutter open and you’re surprised that you aren’t woken up by any displeasing noises. The sunlight partially blocked by the semi see-through blinds, cast a dim light in the room. You found your head resting on Yoongi’s chest, a soft rhythmic breath leaving his chest, sounding like music to your ears. Your hand laid across his naked chest, while his hand was wrapped around you, his palm laying across your bare back. You yawned and suddenly flinched when you felt Yoongi’s lips on your forehead.
 “Good morning.” He said, his voice raspy and gruff.
 “Good morning.” You reply smiling.
 “I’ve never wanted to wake up next to someone this badly…” he sighs.
 “Why’re you so cheesy? What happened to Yoongi? Who are you?”
 “I don’t know Y/N… but I’m open to change.” He says smiling, looking down to meet your eyes.
 You chuckle in response. You watch as his fingers run across your hand which is laying on his chest. His fingers brush your knuckles and he looks as though he’s in deep thought. “Where’s your ring?” he asks unconsciously.
 “I took it off last night. It’s on your night stand.” You say smiling.
 “Oh… well I hate to break it to you, and I know it’s a Sunday, but I booked us a brunch reservation at a nice café down the street.”
 “You really didn’t have to…”
 “But I did. We’ve been sleeping with each other for 2 months, and I haven’t taken you out on a proper date, like ever!”
 “Well food does sound like a good idea, I’m starving.”
 “Well then get your tiny tushie outta bed.” He says playfully pinching your cheek, and jumping out of bed to freshen up.
 After you both had showered and gotten your clothes on, you were wearing your heels by the door, when Yoongi walked out of his bedroom, “You forgot this!” he says handing you your silver ring. His curious eyes watched, as you took the ring from him, and slipped it into your purse instead of putting it on your finger. “Come on let’s go.” You said grabbing his hand, unaware of the wide smile your bare hand had brought onto Yoongi’s face.
 //
 Brunch was delicious. And so was the dinner date you had a week later. 2 weeks had gone by, smooth sailing for your new relationship. Your fingers remained naked, no ring in trace, in the entirety of the last 2 weeks. It was a cold Friday night, and you were now sitting at the piano bench, in an empty restaurant. You glanced over your shoulder to see Yoongi’s eyes, focused on the keys in front of him. For once in a long time you could truly say you were happy. Your life was blissful.
 “Y/N…?” Yoongi says interrupting your thoughts.
“Yeah?”
 “Could you sing…?”
 “Sure.” You said smiling, as you already knew which song he wanted you to sing. You cleared your throat as you begun the first verse of ‘My Heart Will Go On’.
 There you both were, all alone, doing the things you loved, with the person you loved beside you, and you couldn’t have asked for more. No more did you feel lost. No more did you think of love as a myth. You had finally found someone to keep your heart safe, in this cruel world. And you couldn’t be happier, that your savior was Min Yoongi.
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A/N: Y’all I still can’t believe I wrote a whole ass series. I’m usually one to write really long oneshots or two shots, but I decided to turn this into a chapter wise series. Anyways, I hope you guys really liked it, and stay tuned for more works from me, in the near future :)
Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69​ for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)
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