#nhl one shot

[theemporium]

[11.6k] when in desperate need for a date to your friend's wedding, the last person you expected to step up was nico hischier. then again, he didn't step up as much as he was thrown into the mess by jack.

inspired by 'the spanish love deception' by elena armas

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“Come on!”

“When I said a favour, I didn’t mean this!”

“You said you would do anything!”

“Yeah, like help change a flat tire. You know, the normal things!”

“Do you even know how to change a flat tire?”

“Well…”

“Jack.”

The boy let out a noise mixed between a laugh and an exaggerated groan as he threw his head back. He was just fresh out of the shower after practice, hair still dripping and cheeks flushed red, when you found him by the trainers’ kitchen grabbing a protein shake. 

Your friendship with Jack Hughes was one made through the bond of joining the New Jersey Devils together. He was newly drafted and feeling the pressure of being first pick, whilst you were freshly entering the real world on your own two feet with no real plan in your head. It was by chance that a friend of a friend had managed to pull you a job with the hockey team. And it was by chance you ended up befriending the new hot-shot player in a sport you honestly didn’t know all that much about. 

Still from the first day, after a very awkward meeting on both parts, you and Jack Hughes had been the best of friends—which was exactly why you thought he would help you out on being your plus one to a wedding. 

“I don’t get what the big deal is,” Jack whined, leaning against the counter that displayed all the blenders and ingredients for the players’ protein shakes and smoothies. “Isn’t it your friend’s wedding? Why do you need a plus one, it’s not like you won’t know anyone?” 

“That’s not the point,” you huffed out, feeling like a disgruntled child as you crossed your arms over your chest and resisted the urge to pout. 

Jack raised his brows. “So, what is the point?” 

“I—” You paused, something bitter and nostalgic twisting in your chest before you shook your head. “Can you do it or not? It’s not like you are running off to the Bahamas on your week off. You said yourself that you were free.” 

“The Bahamas sounds better than a wedding in South Carolina,” he grumbled, his lips twitching upwards when you knocked his shoulder with your own. He looked like he was about to say something else before he paused, his eyes brightening. “So, you really need a date to this thing?”

You shot him a look. “Did the last twenty minutes of me begging not give it away?”

His grin widened, something quite unsettling in the smile. “So, you’re desperate?” 

You frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t say desperate—”

“Nico is free this week!” Jack announced loudly, his grin reaching scary levels of taking over his face before his eyes glanced over your head. “Aren’t you, cap?”

Your eyes widened a little as you whirled around, finding the Devils captain standing a few feet away from the two of you. He was dressed similarly to Jack, in a team-branded hoodie and sweatpants, with his wet hair tucked under a beanie. He looked a bit caught off-guard as he glanced between the two of you, though his eyes lingered on Jack.

“Uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, standing a little taller. “I guess. I didn’t have any plans—”

“Brilliant!” Jack clapped his hands together. “Nico can be your fake boyfriend to your friend’s wedding.”

Your head snapped around to glare at your friend. “I just needed a date—”

“Yeah, your date is your boyfriend,” Jack retorted.

Your glare hardened. “And I asked you—”

“And I’m busy,” Jack said with a shrug, almost as if he was saying ‘what could you do?’. “But Nico is free and you know each other. It should be an easy solution, right?” 

You finally had the courage to face Nico, who looked a bit stunned himself. If it were any other day, you would have laughed at the fact that the captain looked so lost and unsure of himself, so unlike himself. But right now—with the tightening band around your chest that felt like it would crush your ribs—you couldn’t find yourself to even smile.

“You don’t have to,” you said eventually, when you finally found your voice again and your thoughts were coherent. “Jack is just—”

“I’ll do it,” Nico blurted out.

You blinked.

“I mean,” Nico paused, looking a little flustered at his own sudden announcement. “If you need someone, I can help out. I don’t mind, really.” He paused again. “We’re friends, right? This is what friends do.”

“Yeah, friends,” you repeated, clearing your throat a little before giving him a strained smile. 

And just like that, Nico Hischier—captain of the New Jersey Devils—was your wedding date.

…

You decided that after this wedding was over and done, you were going to kill Jack Hughes.

In your mind, Jack would have agreed to help you out with your predicament, you would have gone to the wedding and had a laugh together. This would be one of those memories that you two would joke about for years to come, like when he almost burned down your kitchen making boxed macaroni cheese or when you called him sobbing because of a spider in your bathroom. 

You didn’t think he would throw you under the bus like this.

And maybe that was a bit dramatic, but it felt necessary after Nico left the room with the promise he would message to sort out the details of your plans.

Your issue wasn’t with the fact Jack didn’t want to do it. If that was the case, you would have understood. Your nagging and begging was mostly just a bit of friendly banter, and you thought he was reciprocating. 

He was reciprocating. 

But then, instead of being a normal human and telling you he didn’t want to do it so you could find someone else to help you, he just threw a solution at you. 

An—in the kindest way you could put it—unwanted solution.

It wasn’t that you hated or even disliked Nico Hischier. Not at all. Your relationship with the captain was just…non-existent, in a sense. Very superficial, if you were being honest.

When you were new to the team, you didn’t really talk all that much to any of the players. Jack was the exception, someone who was just as lost as you—though his extroverted personality hid it far better. But weeks passed and slowly you began to see some of the players beyond friendly acquaintances. 

But Nico just…never really left that label. 

It wasn’t like he was rude or mean to you, quite the opposite. Even though he was the captain to only the team, that caring and kind personality extended to everyone who worked for the Devils—you included. 

He was a good guy. He was sweet and thoughtful and loyal and kind. He cared more than any person should. He was the kind of person people write in books and movies. 

And it was intimidating, in a weird way. 

There was no logical explanation for it. But something about Nico Hischier felt too perfect for your shit show of a life. He was confident and put together and everything you weren’t. 

Jack knew that. Jack knew how you felt. Jack had laughed about it more than once before reassuring you that there was more to Nico than you realised. 

You just wish you could’ve discovered that side of him during a team night out rather than at your friend’s wedding out of state. 

And because Nico was the perfect guy, it was no surprise when he messaged you that the two of you could take his car down to Charleston, South Carolina with him taking the first shift. 

“I thought you’d be sick of being on the road,” you said to him as you stood outside your apartment complex, bags in hand as you walked towards where Nico had parked his car. 

“It’s a part of me now,” he joked as he reached for your bags, not giving you a chance to say anything before he placed them in the back with his own. “I go crazy if I’m not locked in a moving vehicle for more than three hours.” 

You snorted, turning your face away so he didn’t catch the way your cheeks burned in embarrassment at the noise. 

“I’ve also never been to Charleston,” Nico continued, shrugging his shoulders. “Thought it would be a nice chance to take it all in if we drive.” 

“I really don’t mind driving the whole way,” you said, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you eyed his car. “You’re already doing me a favour, the least I could do is—”

“It’s a long drive, I wouldn’t want you getting tired behind the wheel,” Nico said, his brows furrowed together. “It’s fine. I promise.” 

“Okay,” you relented and took your spot in the passenger seat for the first stint of the drive. 

…

It was around two hours in when the small talk shifted into something deeper. 

“So, what’s the deal??”

You glanced over at the boy in the driver seat, your lips still wrapped around the straw of your slushie you bought at the last service station. Nico had gaped at you being able to drink something so sweet and cold so early in the morning, but you just grinned and shrugged. You didn’t get much of a chance to say anything before he was paying for it anyways, along with the coffee he got for himself. 

Sensing your confusion, he continued. 

“With the date,” he said, risking a glance at you before his eyes returned to the road. “You just seemed…”

“Desperate?” You supplied.

His lips twitched. “I was going to say insistent,” he corrected. “But yeah, desperate works too. Is it really such a bad thing if you go to your friend’s wedding alone?” 

“Well,” you started, still hesitant to say your thoughts out loud when you knew it sounded immature. “Not really. Lucy wouldn’t care if I brought a cactus with me, she would just be happy I was there for her big day.”

Nico huffed out a laugh. “So, why am I here instead of a cactus?” 

“I’m not a big fan of pricks,” you joked and, to your credit, he did smile. But the look he shot you told you that deflecting wasn’t going to get you very far. “My ex will be there.”

Nico didn’t say anything for a few moments. “And you’re…still in love with him?”

“What? No!” You quickly shook your head, your face scrunched up in a grimace. “God, no. Not at all. Never again.”

“Oh,” Nico murmured, though there was still a look of confusion on his face. “What’s the big deal if he’s there then?”

“Our breakup was…messy,” you confessed, wincing a little as the memories you tried to block out returned like an unwanted slap to the face. “It was ages ago and I’m over it. But the last time I saw a lot of these people was just before the breakup and I just wasn’t in a good place.” 

Nico didn’t say anything, letting you continue. 

“He cheated on me.” you said eventually because there didn’t seem like much point in beating around the bush, especially when Nico was helping you out despite being thrown into the deep-end unwillingly. “It got messy within the friend group and I ended up moving away after we broke up to get a fresh start. Not just because of him, but it was nice to get away from all the mess and drama.” 

“So you came to New Jersey,” Nico finished. 

“So I came to New Jersey,” you confirmed with a nod.

“And having a boyfriend when you see these people will…” he trailed off, his brows furrowed together once again. It was the same expression you saw on his face during games, when he was trying to work out plays in his head before they happened.

“I was originally planning to come myself,” you admitted to the boy. “But then I was on the phone with Lucy and she kept asking if I’d be okay with everything and I just imagined everyone asking me the same thing and,” you paused and shrugged. “I just ended up blurting out that I was using my plus one.”

When you turned to look at Nico, you were surprised to find a sympathetic smile on the boy’s face. 

“If you showed up alone, nobody would’ve thought you moved on. But if you came with someone, people would believe you were actually okay,” Nico finished for you, and it should have been unsettling how well he understood. But his empathy and insight were one of the many traits that made him captain.

“It sounds stupid but I just wanted to come here and enjoy my friend’s wedding,” you said with a dry laugh. “The pitying looks were bad enough the first time around, I don’t need them again.”

Nico hummed, nodding his head. “So, what’s our story?” 

You turned to him, frowning. “What?”

“Our story,” he repeated, a kind smile on his face that made your chest feel tight. “You know, like how we got together. Surely people will ask, no? We should have a plan.”

Your lips twitched upwards. “Can’t keep away from the strategies, can you?”

Nico laughed, smiling. “Guess you can’t take the captain out of the man or whatever the saying is.”

You snorted, shaking your head before you settled back in your seat. You thought about his point for a few moments, contemplating your options. 

“I don’t think we have to overcomplicate it,” Nico said, interrupting your thoughts. “You have that look on your face that says you’re scheming.”

You raised your brows. “How do you know that?”

“It’s the same look on your face you get when you plan a prank with Jack,” he responded, smiling a little wider at your shocked look. “Neither of you are subtle. Or quiet.”

“I was just trying to think of an interesting story,” you defended, narrowing your eyes at the boy. “We can’t just have a basic co-workers to lovers situation, that’s boring.”

Nico laughed. “Boring?”

“Yeah!” You laughed back. “We have the chance to make up the craziest love story ever, why not take it?” 

Nico shook his head. “What do you suggest then?”

“A puck was flying at your head and I saved you,” you joked. “Full on spidey sense moment, just caught the puck with my bare hands and you were lovestruck after that.”

The full belly laugh Nico let out made your smile widen. “Caught the puck?” 

“Bare hands,” you nodded. 

“I am sure everyone will believe that,” he teased.

“You clearly haven’t seen me in the net,” you mused. “I have insane reflexes.”

“I’ll let the team know the next time we need a goalie,” Nico retorted. 

In the end, you decided to go the ‘boring’ route. It felt safer to stick with almost-truths, it prevented any possible slip up if the two of you were interrogated separately. And, much to your surprise, there was something quite fun about fabricating a fake relationship with the captain you barely knew. 

…

You arrived in Charleston, South Carolina just after seven o’clock.

The address Lucy had given you was for a massive house by the beach she was renting out for the week. It was gorgeous, over three storeys high and looking like it had been plucked straight out of a postcard. The beach house was slightly secluded as well, far enough from the closest neighbours for all the main wedding party to park their cars outside with no bother.

It felt a little surreal. 

You didn’t even get a chance to step out of the car before the front door swung open and Lucy came running out, squealing as she opened her arms and wrapped them around you. Your chest tightened at the closeness, at seeing one of your closest friends in person after so long of being apart. 

“You’re here!” She exclaimed as she pulled back, her bright eyes finding yours with an understanding shining in them. She missed you as much as you missed her.

“And you’re getting married!” You retorted, watching as her grin—somehow—widened. 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Lucy murmured before she brought you into another hug. And you let yourself sink into the embrace, to forget everything else until your friend let out an intrigued hum. “And I’m guessing this is your plus one?” 

Your eyes widened a little when you remembered Nico standing a few feet behind you and quickly pulled back, glancing back at him before turning to Lucy. Something deep in your stomach twisted at the idea of lying to your friend but there was no going back now. 

“Nico, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Nico,” you said as you gestured between each other, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “My boyfriend.” 

Lucy’s shock was clear. “Boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend! You just made it seem like your plus one was a friend over the phone!”

You gave her a shaky smile. “Surprise?” 

Nico, seeming to somehow pick up on the way the guilt was starting to take over you, stepped in and offered his hand to your friend. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. And congratulations on the wedding. It’s an honour to be here, even just as a plus one.” 

Lucy’s brows raised in surprise, her eyes briefly finding yours as she shook his hand.. “Wow, you are a…gentleman.” 

“I guess I upgraded,” you joked, wincing a little when you saw her face scrunch up in guilt. 

“Are you sure it’s not weird that he’s here? I know Tom wanted him here but—” But you didn’t give her a chance to continue as you shook her head, reaching out to grab her hand and squeeze softly. 

“It’s fine, Luce, I promise,” you said, though you weren’t totally sure if she believed you or not. In an attempt to solidify your point, you turned back to glance at Nico with a smile. “I’ve moved on. I’m happy. And I want to be here with you to celebrate your wedding. It probably won’t even be that awkward, it’s been years since everything happened.”

Lucy nibbled on her lower lip. “You’re sure?” 

“Positive,” you nodded.

“Okay,” she said before smiling. “Well, I’ll let you two settle into your room. You’re on the top floor but I can get Tom out to help with your bags. Let me go get him!”

You didn’t get a chance to say anything before Lucy ran back inside but you were hit with a sudden realisation that had you turning to face Nico, an apologetic look painted on your face.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” you blurted out, your cheeks warming as he gave you an inquisitive look. “She asked if I only wanted one room and I said yes because I thought I’d be with Jack and it wouldn’t be that bad, but I forgot to tell her it’s changed. We don’t have to stay here! We can get a hotel nearby or—”

“Hey,” Nico stepped forward, his hands placed on your shoulders to ground you for a moment before you started pacing. “Take a deep breath.”

You let out a shaky breath in response. 

“It’s fine,” he told you, and you could hear the sincerity in his voice. “It would have been weird if we were in separate rooms anyways.”

“I can take the floor,” you suggested.

Nico shot you a look. “I’m not letting you do that.”

“But—” 

Nico’s look hardened. 

“Fine. No floor,” you grumbled before you flashed him a sheepish smile. “I really am sorry though. I feel like you have just been thrown into this whole thing and—”

“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to be here,” Nico assured you, squeezing your shoulders before nodding towards the house. “C’mon, we should go inside and freshen up. Then you can tell me everything I need to know, starting with who Tom is and if we like him.”

And that was enough to make you snort, momentarily ignoring the problem of the one bed for now. 

…

You didn’t bump into your ex until later that night.

In retrospect, you should have expected to see him sooner rather than later, but a stupid part of you was still in denial about having to spend the week with him living under the same roof as you. Another part of you was also hoping he just wouldn’t show up, that he would bail on the whole event or maybe even just show up on the day of the wedding. 

But you knew that would have never been the case. Because as close as you were with Lucy was just as close he was to Tom, Lucy’s future husband. In fact, Lucy and Tom had met because of you two, because of the fusion of your friendship groups which now just felt like the biggest joke ever. 

At least someone benefited out of the relationship.

You weren’t even expecting some big confrontation or horrendous outcome when you expected to bump into your ex. You were just expecting to be a little more prepared, to have time to put yourself together. You knew you would see him at dinner that night, that much was inevitable. But you thought you could at least have the upper hand by walking into the room, hand in hand with Nico. 

What you weren’t expecting was to see him for the first time in years when you were waiting by the stairs for Nico (since being the gentleman he was, he had let you go refresh in the bathroom first). 

“Look what the cat dragged in!”

You hated the way your body instantly tensed up at the sound of his voice. You hated the way he was smiling at you like the last time you spoke he hadn’t shattered your whole world. You hated the way you felt so caught off-guard, so unprepared for a meeting you were expecting to have the upper hand in. 

“Jackson,” you managed to grit out as you gave him a strained smile. “Nice to see you again.” Lie. Lie. Lie.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, huh?” He said, so lighthearted and casual and dismissive. 

You had to bite your tongue when the urge to say something a little more snarky came up, but you would hate yourself if you created a scene. You were doing this for Lucy. You were here to celebrate a momentous moment in your friend’s life. You weren’t here to get petty revenge on something that happened years ago—at least not in the form of bitter remarks. 

“A couple of years or so,” you answered with a shrug of your shoulders. 

“I was surprised when Lucy said you were coming,” Jackson told you.

You frowned. “Why would that be a surprise? She’s one of my best friends.”

“Yeah but,” Jackson waved his hand like that explained everything. “You haven’t visited since you left.” 

And the underlying words went unspoken. 

You haven’t visited since everything that happened between us. You haven’t visited since you had your heart broken. You haven’t visited so people just assumed you were still hurt and inconsolable after we broke up. I thought that was why you never came back.

“My job keeps me busy,” you stated simply, swallowing the acidic taste in the back of your throat. “Lucy knows that.” 

Something quite like amusement shone in his eyes. “Ah yeah, Tom mentioned something about you working in some ice rink in New Jersey. That sounds super busy.”

You bit your tongue. He was goading you again. You knew that. But fuck, you just wished you could have—

“I would hardly call The Rock just some ice rink,” a voice spoke from behind you and you turned to find Nico settling into the spot next to you, his face remaining very…neutral. 

Jackson stared at the boy, his lips agape as recognition clearly hit him. He blinked and then turned to you. “You work for the Devils?”

“Last time I checked,” you said, a twinge of satisfaction sparking inside you at his disbelief. 

He puffed his chest out a little. “When Lucy said you were bringing a plus one, I didn’t think she meant a co-worker—”

“She didn’t,” Nico interrupted, a look on his face that reminded you of his post-game interviews after the team lost. Before he continued, he wrapped an arm around your waist, making sure the boy saw the movement. “I’m her boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Jackson repeated. 

“Yes, that is a word Americans still use, no?” Nico retorted. 

“Of course, man,” Jackson said with a laugh, but it felt forced and strained. He tore his eyes away from Nico to look back at you. “Well, I should be heading back. I’ll see you two down there.” 

He didn’t wait before he turned around, heading down the stairs to the dining room where the rest of the wedding party were probably starting their dinner. A few moments passed between the two of you before Nico finally broke the silence. 

“So, that was your ex,” he said.

You snorted before you winced. “I was blinded by young love.”

Nico laughed at that. “I didn’t realise blondes were your type,” he admitted, something different in his voice that he couldn’t quite work out.

You rolled your eyes before you sighed. “They usually aren’t, to be honest. But Jackson was…Jackson.”

Nico seemed oddly pleased with the response. 

“And he’s a hockey fan?” He questioned, his brows furrowing together like Jackson was a rival team’s game strategy he had to study. “He knew who I was.”

A slow grin spread across your face. “His family are from New York.”

Nico raised his brows before he laughed. “Islanders or Rangers?”

“Rangers,” you said with a proud look on your face. 

“That’s why you originally asked Jack,” Nico mused. “You wanted to rub it in that little more.”

“You bet them in the playoffs, I just thought he would like a nice reminder,” you retorted with an innocent look.

He laughed—that full belly laugh once again—before shaking his head in amusement. Before you could say anything more, he was intertwining your hands together and starting to make his way down the stairs Jackson had disappeared down a few minutes ago.

“C’mon, they are probably waiting for us,” he said. 

And honestly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to pull your hand away. 

…

Dinner was uneventful, though you did enjoy watching Jackson bitterly stew from the other side of the table. 

A sense of familiarity and nostalgia washed over you as you sat at the dinner table, enjoying a meal as you laughed and chatted to a group you once saw daily but now hadn’t properly seen in years. It felt so easy to slip into old dynamics, to laugh at old jokes and tease each other as Lucy and Tom were the first to take such a monumental step from the lot of you.

Nico fit in so well, it almost made your chest feel tight if you thought about it too hard. He didn’t seem to mind the countless questions thrown at him about his job and the team. If anything, you thought he was milking his answers a little just to see Jackson squirm—especially when asked about playoffs. 

Eventually the day-long drive finally caught up with the two of you and you wished everyone goodbye before returning to your room on the top floor. Despite trying to play the gentleman card again, you allowed Nico to go to the bathroom first and tried not to stare too hard when he came out in a tight shirt and flannel pyjama bottoms. 

It took an embarrassing few minutes to hype yourself up in the bathroom mirror before you finally headed back to the room, only to pause at the doorway when you saw Nico lying on the ground by the bed with a pillow under his head and blanket over his body.

“What are you doing?”

Nico frowned a little. “Uh, sleeping?” 

“Why are you on the floor?”

His confusion growed. “Because that’s where I’m sleeping?”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor, Nico,” you sighed as you shook your head, walking into the room until you paused by his feet. “You’ll fuck up your back. Let me take the floor.”

Nico smiled softly. “My back will be fine. Take the bed, schatz.” 

You ignored the way the nickname made your stomach flutter. “I’m not the one who needs to stay in good shape for hockey, captain. The fans will murder me if you can’t play because you have a stiff back. Now take the bed.” 

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Would you have made Jack take the bed?”

“Yes,” you answered instantly before wincing. “Well, I probably would have shared the bed with him.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, like a sleepover,” you said with a shrug. 

“Then we can do that.”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“We can share the bed like a sleepover,” Nico said as he stood up, failing to hide his groan as he stretched his back (and ignoring your pointed look). “We’re friends, right?”

You swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Then we can share,” Nico said simply. “Either you take the bed alone or we share. It’s your choice.”

“We may be friends but I am also doing this because the fans scare me and I don’t want to know what they would do to be if I broke their captain’s back,” you said with a pointed look before you climbed into the bed, ignoring the way your heart was thumping as he settled on the other side.

Nico huffed out a laugh. “I wouldn’t let them hurt you.”

You rolled onto your side to look at him, your eyes narrowing slightly. “You better not move to the floor when I fall asleep, Hischier.”

Much to his dismay, he blushed at your words. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I know.”

You let out a sigh, allowing yourself to stare at the boy for a little while longer before you rolled over to fall asleep.

“Thank you for helping me,” you whispered.

Nico’s soft smile returned. “It’s what friends do.”

“Goodnight, Nico.”

“Goodnight, schatz.”

…

It took a solid thirty seconds after you woke up to realise you were practically lying on top of Nico Hischier.

As your body started to wake up, you realised how warm and comfortable you were. You snuggled further into your pillow, into the warmth and hoped your body would just fall asleep for a little longer. 

It took longer than it should have to remember that pillows weren’t warm before you opened your eyes and found yourself settled on Nico, your legs tangled together and one of his arms loosely wrapped around your waist. 

You didn’t give yourself a chance to live out a waking nightmare and risk waiting for him to wake up in the next ten seconds, so you pulled yourself away from him and then hid in the bathroom for fifteen minutes freaking out.

By the time you came out, Nico was awake and sat up against the headboard. His hair was ruffled and dishevelled, his eyes still hooded and a sleepy smile on his lips that made you want to turn on your heels and have another bathroom freakout. 

Instead, you smiled back and told him the two of you had to be outside in the next hour for the brunch Lucy had planned before both wedding parties went off to do their last fittings. 

Thankfully, no more bathroom freakouts were required. 

The brunch Lucy had set up looked like something straight out of a Pinterest aesthetic board. It was set in the house’s back porch with a stunning view of the beach and morning sun beating down on the sea. The table was set with plates of pastries, fruits and other brunch dishes, all topped with the morning mimosas Lucy demanded was a part of the experience.

Nico barely gave you a chance to settle down in your seat before his hand reached for the leg of your chair, dragging you closer to him until his arm could settle along the back of your chair comfortably. From the corner of your eye, you could see Jackson watching the two of you. Nico had noticed too.

If anything, it just made him smirk. 

One by one, everyone had made their way from their rooms to settle down at the brunch table like you all had done the night before. However, unlike yesterday, you noted an empty seat next to Jackon that hadn’t been beside him last night. 

Before you could even ask, a high-pitched voice shrilled from inside.

“I’m here! I’m here! I promise I’m not late.”

You turned to look at Lucy, your eyes widening in response but your friend only mouthed an apology before she turned to the door just in time for a redhead to wander out onto the porch. 

“Bryce! Happy to finally have you here!” 

You watched the two of them hug but your whole body had locked up, an unwanted flurry of memories washing over you. And just like that, it felt like another situation in which you should have been prepared for but didn’t get the chance to. Another rug pulled from under your feet. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You could feel him lean closer, hear the concern in his voice. And yet, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the redhead talking to Lucy a few feet away.

You knew. You knew Jackson had a plus one, it was the whole fucking reason you showed up with one of your own because you didn’t want to look like the loser who hadn’t moved on. You had been warned that he was bringing someone else. 

You just never assumed it would be her.

“That’s the girl my ex cheated on me with,” you managed to mumble under your breath to Nico, managed to finally turn your head to look at him. 

His expression was some mix of surprise and anger and, honestly, you would have laughed at the seriousness on his face if it weren’t for the fact you felt the exact same. You didn’t care about your ex and you had moved on, but it was still a bitter sting to know he was still with the woman he cheated on you with all those years ago.

You tried to relax your shoulders and act as unaffected as you could as Bryce rounded the table to take the seat next to Jackson—the seat across from you. But any hopes of the brunch going as smoothly as the dinner yesterday went out the window when her eyes landed on you.

“Oh my god,” Bryce let out a laugh and smiled at you, a smile you were sure was meant to be friendly but just made your skin prickle. “I didn’t know you would be here! Luce didn’t tell me.”

Luce. That was your nickname for her, not Bryce’s.

“I guess we are both surprised then,” you replied with a strained smile.

Nico couldn't help but snort, not even trying to hide his reaction.

Her eyes snapped over to him, calculating. “And this must be your plus one. Your friend?” 

“Boyfriend, actually,” you corrected.

“Hm, how sweet.” 

You still felt on edge as the brunch continued. Nico’s arm around the back of your seat was a comfort but it didn’t help the fact Bryce’s gaze on you felt like daggers against your skin. You ignored both her and Jackson for the most part, listening to the stories exchanged amongst the group and Lucy raving about the final dress fitting later that day. It was easy to zone out until the conversation seemed to focus back onto you and the boy by your side.

“So,” Lucy grinned as she glanced between you and Nico. “What’s the story? How did you meet? When did it happen? I want details, I can’t believe you’ve been holding back on me!”

You flashed her an apologetic look. “You were busy with the wedding, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Well, you can tell me now,” she retorted with a wink. 

“It’s really not that interesting,” you said, shifting in your seat when you felt everyone’s eyes on you. As much as you joked about having an insane love story, the idea of even saying the boring one right now with everyone’s attention directed on you made your skin prickle with discomfort.

But even if everyone else was oblivious, Nico wasn’t. 

“To her, maybe,” he spoke up and everyone’s focus shifted to him, even your own. But he was used to this. He was used to many eyes on him and attention directed towards him. “I still get teased about it by the boys.” 

Lucy’s smile softened. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” Nico laughed, his eyes briefly looking at you before his gaze returned to your friend. “I had a huge crush on her when she joined the team. Like, embarrassingly huge. Jack used to tease me all the time on how I seemed to forget how to speak English around her.”

Your stomach dipped and, for a quick second, you almost believed him with everyone else.

“She always did play a little hard to get,” Jackson mused and something visibly changed in Nico’s expression. 

“And she was worth every second of it,” Nico retorted, the same camera-approved smile he gave the journalists during interviews. “Unlike some people though, I have no plan to lose her.”

Jackson clenched his jaw. 

“How long have you been together then?” Bryce jumped in, her narrowed gaze glancing between you both.

“A few months,” you and Nico replied at the same time.

Bryce’s eyes gleamed. “And how long is a few months?” 

“Six,” Nico answered simply before he turned to smile at you. “Best six months of my life.”

Your face warmed in response. “He’s a little cheesy.” 

“You mean romantic,” Lucy teased, but there was something approving in her expression. It warmed your heart a little at the idea that she would have approved of Nico if he really was your boyfriend. “She isn’t used to that.”

Jackson stiffened. 

Nico’s grin widened and before you could even realise what he was doing, he was taking your hand in his and placing a kiss along your knuckles. “I’m honoured to be the one to spoil her, then.”

Thankfully, Jackson and Bryce didn’t say much for the rest of the meal.

…

You felt like you were in an odd routine over the next few days, but you found that you actually quite enjoyed it. 

The wedding frenzy was in full effect but there was something grounding about having Nico by your side for it all. 

Every morning, you woke up first and found yourself tangled in bed with the boy. It also meant the bathroom freakouts had become a part of your routine, but it was worth it to wake up and enjoy the warmth of Nico Hischier’s hold for a few minutes. You two would end up lounging in your shared room, just trying to fully wake up before Lucy dragged you into last minute wedding nonsense. 

But even at night, you found yourself settled into a routine with the boy. He would go first to the bathroom and you’d go second, and then the two of you would be settled against the headboard, rambling away until one of you yawned and the other one turned the lights off for the night.

It almost made you laugh that there was ever a time you were intimidated by the captain—even when that time was just last week.

And yet, for the first time since you arrived in Charleston, there was nothing for you to do. The rehearsal dinner was tomorrow, the wedding was the following day and it was like you were facing the calm before the storm took over your lives. And it was the first time you could all enjoy the beach without a deadline looking over your head.

“C’mon, it will be fun!” 

Lucy snorted. “For you, maybe.” 

Tom grinned down at his future wife, lightly tugging on her hand but she remained sat on the deck chair. “It’s just a friendly game of soccer. Boys versus girls. Come on.”

“Football,” Nico corrected under his breath, making you snort.

“That is hardly fair,” Lucy argued. “You’ll have a professional athlete on your side!”

“Nico is a hockey player!” Tom retorted.

“Same thing,” Lucy waved off and Nico’s expression was enough for you to snort again. “Fine, we play but with mixed teams.”

Tom contemplated for a moment before agreeing. “Deal.”

“And I get Nico on my team,” she added, watching in delight as her fiance gaped.

“But—” He paused, lifting his head to find your gaze. “You’re on my team then.”

“She’s my best friend!” 

“You took the athlete, I get your best friend. That’s the deal.”

“Do we get a choice in this?” Nico murmured to you and you just laughed, shaking your head.

After more arguing and bickering and negotiating between the future married couple, the teams had been decided. Goals had been marked in the sand, a ball had been acquired and the game began. It was stupid and harmless and it was meant as nothing more than a little fun. 

But Tom and Lucy were more competitive than they let on. And it certainly didn’t help the fact Jackson seemed to have it out for your boyfriend before the match even began.

“Think you can handle tackling your boyfriend?” Jackson asked you. 

“I don’t think it concerns you how well I handle him,” you retorted, feeling the weight of Nico’s gaze on you from across the makeshift pitch like a comfort.

“He doesn't seem like your type,” Jackson continued, always sticking close enough so he could keep talking.

“My type is none of your business,” you stated bluntly.

“I mean, a jock? Really?” Jackson shrugged. “Just didn’t think you went for the airhead.”

You snorted, unable to help yourself. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing when I considered what I saw in you.”

He huffed. “You—”

“Don’t want to continue this conversation, Jackson,” you shot him a look. “I’m happy with Nico. I don’t care what you have to say about it. I’m here for Lucy, not you. Don’t get it twisted.” 

“You’ll never have what we had with Nico,” he said. 

“One can only hope.”

…

You were stupid to think Nico wouldn’t be competitive in a friendly game. He was a professional athlete. It was literally written in his DNA.

And honestly? You felt bad for anyone who played against the Devils because you couldn’t imagine how intense Nico was to play against in a proper game when this was how seriously he was taking a stupid football match that meant nothing.

“NEXT GOAL WINS THE GAME!”

The group had been playing for the last hour, the game was tied and you knew that you would have to head back into the house for lunch soon. But neither team wanted to leave the game until there was a clear winner.

Any semblance of friendliness went out the window as the last leg of the game continued. You weren’t too bothered, more than happy to watch Tom and Lucy mostly fight over the ball and constantly try to tackle each other. 

But your stomach dipped a little when you saw Lucy kick the ball back to Nico. And the feeling only got worse when you saw Jackson making a beeline towards the boy, determined to tackle it out of his hold. Before you even knew it, you and the rest of the party were watching the two boys race down the makeshift pitch.

However, no matter how hard he tried, Jackson could never match Nico’s speed. 

You watched as he kicked the ball, right through the makeshift goal that had been created in the sand. The group broke out into a mix of groans and cheers alike, people clapping and whooping as Nico ran back towards you with a massive grin on his face. 

You barely had a chance to react before he was right in front of you, crouching down enough for his arms to wrap around your thighs before he hoisted you over his shoulders. 

“Nico!” You let out a noise mixed between a scream and laugh.

“We won, baby!” He cheered and your cheeks burned at the nickname. 

Your hands tried to hold onto him for balance but a part of you knew he would never drop you. You patted his back and Nico seemed to catch the hint as he slowly dropped your back to the ground, though his arms remained wrapped around you to keep you close.

“You won,” you corrected. “We are on different teams, remember?”

Nico shrugged. “My win is your win.” 

You snorted. “That was cheesy.” 

“Didn’t like it?” He teased, and your cheeks burned warmer. 

“You make it work,” you admitted, the band around your chest tightening when you saw his face brighten at your words. 

“Yeah?” 

For a moment, you forgot that you were surrounded by people. For a moment, it was just you and Nico stood on this beach, smiling and laughing and alone. For a moment, you could have sworn his eyes dipped down to your mouth. For a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you.

A big part of you wished he did. 

“C’MON, LOVEBIRDS! LUNCH IS READY!”

You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the boy right in front of you and instead turned to look at the others. Some of the group were already making their way back to the house, but a few lingered on the beach. Lucy was grinning at you like a madman with Tom looking equally as happy. However, it was hard to focus on them when Jackson stood a few feet away, glaring at you and Nico.

You cleared your throat, hoping your smile seemed normal as you turned to Nico. “Ready for lunch?”

“Hm,” Nico hummed, looking like he wanted to say more but ultimately just nodding. “Yeah, I’m starving.”

“Scoring the winning goal really does knock you on your ass, huh?” You joked.

Nico just laughed, throwing his arm around you before the two of you began to make your way back to the house. “Running in sand is much harder than skating.” 

“Didn’t stop you from achieving the win.”

“I’m a winner, baby,” Nico grinned. “I don’t like losing.”

…

The football game had sucked the energy out of most of the group, so it was no surprise everyone started to head to bed before the clock had even reached ten.

You were dragging your feet as you followed Nico to your shared room, doing everything in your ability to stay awake as he went into the bathroom first. Every one of your moves felt lethargic and sluggish and you wanted nothing more than to curl up under the duvet to sleep forever.

It was like a cruel joke from the universe that the second your head hit the pillow, you couldn’t fall asleep. And it took a solid ten minutes of twisting and turning before Nico spoke up.

“Are you okay?”

You froze before letting out a heavy sigh, settled on your back as you stared blankly into the dark room. “Just can’t sleep.” There was a pause. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“I wasn’t asleep yet.” he assured you before he shuffled in his spot until he was facing you, even if he couldn’t really see you in the dark. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Your lips twitched upwards and maybe it was the exhaustion, but you couldn’t even stop yourself from letting out a laugh that echoed through the room.

Nico let out a noise of amusement. “What?” 

You shook your head, feeling oddly giddy as you spoke. “Nothing, it’s just,” you paused for a few seconds. “I just remembered Jack telling me how the team joked that you took on the role of the therapist before you became captain. That after bad games, you went out of your way to ask them how they were doing and being the shoulder they needed to cry on.”

Nico frowned a little. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all,” you answered as you turned to look at him, imagining the features on his face even if you couldn’t see him. “It’s just funny that I knew what you were like this whole time but still…it took me experiencing you to realise how stupid I was.” 

His confusion grew. “Stupid for what?”

“For thinking you were scary,” you admitted in a whisper.

Nico didn’t say anything before he let out a laugh. “You thought I was scary?” 

“Well, not scary,” you corrected, but you couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Just…intimidating.” 

“Is that why you never spoke to me?”

“I spoke to you,” you argued.

“Hardly,” Nico mused. “I don’t think we had a proper conversation until you had almost been with the team for a year. I had to ask Jack if I had done something to piss you off because you seemed to get on with everyone else but me.”

You couldn’t hide your surprise. “You asked Jack?”

“I wanted to apologise if I had done something I didn’t realise upset you,” he confessed, and something in your chest tightened at the thought.

“Oh god,” you murmured, letting out a groan as you raised your hands to cover your face. “Now I feel like even more of a dick.”

Nico huffed out a laugh before he reached over, his palm warm and comforting as it rested on your arm. “It’s fine. We are friends now, right?”

You sighed. “Yeah but—”

“Hey, don’t feel too bad about it, okay? We were both being stupid,” Nico’s words washed over you, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles on your skin. “And without that, you could have been here with Jack or someone else instead and I would have missed out on a pretty fun week.”

“You’re having fun?”

“Of course I am. I’m here with you,” he murmured, voice thick and full of sincerity. It made your heart race in your chest to the point you almost swore he could hear it. “Plus, it’s pretty funny seeing how pathetic your ex-boyfriend is.”

You snorted. “Not my finest decision in life.”

“As much as I wish you never experienced that kind of pain, I’m glad it happened,” Nico whispered, his hand lightly squeezing your arm. “It meant you moved to New Jersey. It meant that I—that the whole team got to meet you.”

Your cheeks burned but you smiled, even if he couldn’t see it. You placed a hand over his and squeezed back. “I’m glad I met you too. All of you.”

“Bet you wouldn’t have had this heart-to-heart with Jack, huh?”

You let out a breathless laugh. “No, he probably would have fallen asleep before I even left the bathroom.”

Nico laughed but didn’t disagree. 

You don’t remember exactly at what point you fell asleep that night, but you spent a little longer in his arms the next morning. 

It was a risk but you had lost time to make up for with Nico Hischier, even if it meant making up those moments tangled in bed with him.

…

The rehearsal dinner was where everything really hit you.

It had been running smoothly, though you expected nothing less from Lucy. You knew she probably had the day planned down to the minute, and even if the plan deviated, she would have five back up plans that were ready to go. It was just the kind of person she was.

It was held outside on the beach, the slowly setting sun casting the skies orange and pink over the venue. The tables were set to perfection, the fairy lights decorated across the borders and you had truly never seen anyone happier than Lucy and Tom in that moment. Your heart soared at the idea of the two most deserving people finding the happiness they earned.

It was gorgeous. It was perfect. It was the last fucking time and place you should have been hit with the fact that you were maybe, kinda, most definitely falling in love with Nico Hischier.

Lucy had just wanted a calm, laid back rehearsal dinner. The wedding party was just meant to practise walking in and out, before eventually sitting down to enjoy the nice meal set for the occasion. It was nothing intense, nothing high-stress or extreme. 

It was meant to be fine.

And it was, all things considered. Everything ran smoothly, everyone stood where they were meant to stand and there wasn’t a doubt in anyone’s head that the wedding itself would run smoothly. 

But it didn’t feel fine in your head. 

You had taken your place in the line of bridesmaids, waiting for your cue to start walking down the makeshift aisle. You had stepped out right on beat, you kept your gaze forward, you stood on your marked spot and then you turned to wait for Lucy to make her way down the aisle. 

Except your eyes shifted away from the bride and found Nico’s gaze. 

He should have turned his head to look at the approaching bride-to-be like everyone else was. He should have been watching the ceremony, enjoying the love shared between the happy couple you were all here to celebrate. He should have been looking the other way.

But he was looking at you. 

He was looking at you with a soft smile—one that only widened the second he realised you were looking right back. The skin around his eyes crinkled with his smile, his chain was peeking out the open collar shirt and the soft breeze was making strands of his hair flutter down onto his forehead and—

Fuck. 

You were falling for Nico Hischier. 

The realisation hit you hard and fast, it almost felt like you were winded by the thought. It was a small blessing that everyone was focused on Lucy, that they were far too preoccupied to watch the way you stumbled slightly in your spot at the weight of your sudden realisation. 

Well, everyone except Nico.

He frowned a little, a crease forming between the brows and you could see the concern in his eyes even with the large distance between you. You could see the way he tilted his head slightly, the silent question hanging between you as you just flashed him a small smile and nodded your head. 

You had to tear your eyes away from him before your lungs caved in or your heart burst out of your chest. You had to force yourself to remember to smile and focus on the rehearsal dinner. You had to force yourself to remain normal.

Because he was Nico Hischier. 

He was captain of the New Jersey Devils. He was your colleague. He was your newly-made friend. He was here doing a favour after Jack practically threw him in the deep-end. He wasn’t here to witness your sudden and mind-boggling realisations. 

So, when the dinner was starting to be served and he found your side again, you didn’t hesitate to lie through your teeth. 

“I’m okay,” you told him, a kind smile on your face that you hoped was believable. “Trust me, Nico, I’m fine. Just got a little dizzy, must have low blood sugar or something.” 

Because you were here for your friend’s wedding. And he was here to help you out. 

There was no place for your newfound feelings.

…

To absolutely nobody’s shock, the wedding went through without a single hitch.

The ceremony ran through smoothly with pretty vows and sweet kisses exchanged between the newly married couple. As the reception rolled around, speeches were given, laughs were shared and dinner was served as the guests all enjoyed the union of Lucy and Tom and their love. 

It was sweet. It was perfect. It was everything your best friend deserved for her wedding.

It didn’t take long after the dinner for the first dance to commence, a soft smile in place as you watched Tom and Lucy softly sway to their chosen song. They looked lost in their own world, so caught up in each other like they forgot everyone else existed. 

A pang of longing hit you but you shoved it away. 

It was somewhere between your third and fourth glass of wine when Lucy found you, dragging you towards the dance floor with some halfhearted rambles about wanting to get pictures of all the bridesmaids and groomsmen dancing before you all got shit-faced drunk.

It was your unfortunate luck that the photographer paired you with Jackson before you had the chance to disagree, to escape the way Bryce was glaring at you like you had chosen him.

“She isn’t you.” 

You tried to keep your eyes anywhere but his face, to try and focus on something other than his hands on your waist. You thought you could zone out and that maybe the song would pass quickly, but the universe had other plans for you.

“It’s not like how it was when I was with you,” Jackson continued. 

“What do you genuinely think this conversation is going to achieve?” You asked him, gaining the courage to lift your head to look him in the eyes. You kept your voice down to avoid attention, to avoid creating a scene. “We’re done. We were done years ago when you chose to throw our relationship down the drain. I’ve moved on, you should too.”

Jackson shot you a look. “Tell me you haven’t felt it this week. Tell me you don’t feel the pull—”

“I don’t,” you stated bluntly. “And I have no interest in what you’ve felt this week. I don’t care.”

He frowned. “Because of your lil’ hockey player?”

“Little isn’t the word I’d use to describe him but no,” you answered honestly. “Not because of him but because of you. You ruined things, Jackson, and I moved on with my life. Accept that.” 

Jackon’s frown only deepend. He opened his mouth and you could only imagine what he was going to say, could only imagine what bullshit he was about to pull out of his ass. But before he got the chance, a firm hand landed on his shoulder to halt his movements. 

“Mind if I cut in?” 

Jackson glanced over his shoulder to see Nico standing there, smiling like nothing was wrong, like he wouldn’t happily put Jackson in his place if he disagreed. And maybe your words got through to him or maybe Jackson accepted it was not worth arguing with a man over fifty pounds heavier and four inches taller than him. 

He turned to look at you, saying nothing as his jaw clenched in response before he wandered off. 

Nico hardly wasted any time in taking up Jackson’s spot, one arm wound around your waist and tugging you close whilst the other intertwined with your hand. He looked down at you, eyes full of concern, fondness and something else as he noted how tense you were.

“You okay?” His voice soft and quiet but, fuck, it was exactly what you needed to hear. “He didn’t say anything, right? Because I can—”

“I handled it,” you assured him with a soft smile, squeezing his hand to punctuate your point. “But thank you for being my knight in shining armour.”

“Selfishly, I wanted to do it the second the dance started,” Nico admitted, and if he hadn’t been drinking all night, you would have assumed the pink flush to his cheeks was a blush. “I mean, you’re my date after all. Surely first pick dancing rights go to me, no?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “First pick in the draft, now in dancing…you’re quite the man, Hischier.”

“I’m consistent,” he retorted, tugging you that little bit closer until you had the excuse to rest your head against his chest. 

And for a moment, with your cheek pressed against his shirt and his presence engulfing, you let yourself pretend this moment would last forever. You let yourself enjoy the last day Nico Hischier would pretend to be your boyfriend and imagined a world where it wasn’t really pretend at all.

…

Lucy wasn’t happy that you had to leave early the next morning, but she understood that both of you had to return to New Jersey.

It was dreadfully early—far too fucking early with how late you stayed up the night before—to start an eleven hour road trip, but Nico had just smiled and told you to nap the first few hours whilst he drove the first stint of the journey. 

You knew he was right, that you should have rested and gotten a little sleep but you couldn’t bring yourself to stay asleep for long. You felt like you were wasting time, you were wasting precious hours in this little bubble you had created with Nico that would burst by the time you both returned to Newark. 

So, you did what every normal and sane person did and stocked up on coffee and energy drinks at the next service station stop to keep you fuelled through the drive.

It was no different to the drive down to Charleston except for a shift in the energy. It was easier, in a sense. On the way down, Nico was essentially a glorified stranger to you that you had only shared a number of conversations with. But it felt different now, it felt like you actually knew the boy in the seat beside you. 

And it was bittersweet in that sense, too.

Because you loved this. You loved how easy it was to talk to him. You loved how you got to see the side of Nico Hischier that enamoured the fans, the team and the league. You loved that you got your own special version of him in the last week. And you didn’t want to lose that, you didn’t know if you would ever see this version of Nico again once you reached New Jersey. 

And as the hours passed and the closer you reached your destination, it felt like Nico realised the same. The car was tense and thick with tension, one that went unspoken but reeked of longing and the desire to cling onto the bubble the two of you created over the last week.

It was there, lingering and stewing and, yet, neither of you said anything about it once you reached your apartment complex.

“Thank you,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that weekend, but it was necessary. It had to be said. It meant so much more.

Thank you for coming with me this weekend. Thank you for backing me up. Thank you for being a good friend. Thank you for showing me who you really are even if it’s going to fuck with my head for the rest of my life. Thank you for being you.

“Any time,” he said, the words just as heavy as yours. You wish you knew what he meant by them. “Do you need help with your bags? I can—”

“I’ve got them,” you assured him.

His brows furrowed together. “Are you sure? I—”

“I’m sure,” you said, clearing your throat and finding the courage to finally look at him. You pushed away the stupidest and strangest urge to cry. “Well, see you on Monday then?”

Nico frowned a little but nodded. “See you Monday.”

It felt harsh being so blunt, so straightforward and direct. But you knew you needed to get out of that car as quickly as you could. Because you had spent the last week with Nico by your side the whole time, basked in the warmth of him as a person, and you knew all it would take was a few more moments alone with him for you to blurt out something stupid.

You knew you needed to get out of there and just be alone. To lock yourself in your apartment over the next twenty-four hours before you had to return to work, to attempt to wrap your head around the flurry of emotions bursting inside of you. You knew you needed to get behind that door before you had the urge to run back down to his car.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to look back at his car, to see if he drove off, as you reached the door of your apartment complex. You forced yourself to keep your gaze ahead, to put one foot in front of the other until you reached your apartment. You felt your body moving on autopilot as you unlocked the door, stepped inside and dumped the bags you had dragged up. 

And then, the overwhelming realisation and memories of the last few days washed over you. 

Fuck. You were in love with him. You were properly in love with him. You were going to have to go into work on Monday and see him there and pretend everything is normal. You are going to have to pretend for the rest of your life or until your feelings go away. You were going to—

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

You paused, the heel of your palm pressed to the centre of your chest as you tried to regulate your breaths. You had half the mind to ignore the knocks, to hope the person on the other side of the door just left you alone so you could curl up onto your couch with a fluffy blanket and a tub of ice cream.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

But you had a nagging feeling this person wouldn’t leave.

You avoided the mirror in your hallway as you headed back towards your front door, twisting the handle and pulling the door back with the full expectation of seeing one of your neighbours on the other side. 

Instead, it was a panting and breathless Nico.

“Nico?”

“I can’t pretend anymore,” he blurted out, beyond the point of caring whether he was too blunt or straightforward. “I can’t pretend because I have spent the last few years pretending and I’m tired of it.”

Your brows furrowed together. “What are you—”

“I wasn’t lying when I told your friends,” Nico continued, his eyes never leaving yours. It was almost like he was afraid to look away. It was like he was scared you would disappear if he did, or he would lose the confidence he had to say what he had been feeling since he first saw you. “I had the biggest crush on you when you joined the team years ago.”

Your lips parted in surprise, but no words came out. No words were needed as Nico continued.

“And Jack knew. Everyone fucking knew how I felt about you,” he admitted with a laugh, one that was a little dry and self-depricating. “They knew how I felt about you before you even spoke to me. And then Jack saw the opportunity and he tried to help me but it just made everything worse.”

Your heart twisted at his words.

“Because it showed me what life would be like if I was actually yours,” Nico whispered, voice cracking and emotions raw. “It showed me what it would be like for you to hold my hand and call me your boyfriend and introduce me to your friends like I’m this huge part of your life. And now it fucking sucks that it’s not true, that it’s over. And I can’t just keep going on in life and seeing you at work on Monday and acting like I’m still okay with pretending—”

You kissed him.

He was standing at your doorstep confessing a million different things at once, confessing things that had your head spinning and your brain racing to catch up with. But he was standing there and he felt the same way and you just couldn’t help yourself but to grab his face and kiss him.

Nico sunk into the kiss like it was what his body was made for, like an instinctive reaction to grip your hips and pull you closer. Your arms slowly wound around his neck, tugging him down to deepen the kiss as every racing thought in your head stopped and there was just him, him, him.

“I don’t want to pretend either,” you murmured against his lips because you genuinely didn’t have it within you to pull away properly, to put any more distance between you.

You could feel him smile against your lips. “No?”

“No,” you swallowed harshly as you lightly nudged his nose with your own. “I don’t want to go back to the way everything was before the wedding. I don’t want you to become a stranger in my life.”

“Never, schatz,” he murmured softly before leaning down to press his lips against yours again, slow and purposeful. 

You let him slowly lead you back into your apartment, listened to the way he kicked the door shut with his boot as he led you towards the coach in your living room. You could feel his smile against your own as you fell back onto the cushions, his body a comfortable and familiar weight on you as memories of your mornings together flashed through your mind.

“Oh god.”

Nico pulled back, holding his weight on his elbows as he looked down at you with a frown. “What?”

“Jack is going to be so fucking smug,” you grumbled, playfully groaning whilst the boy on top of you just laughed. 

“You’re something else,” Nico murmured with a grin.

You raised your brows. “Good something?” 

“Best something,” Nico corrected before he leaned down to kiss you again. 

.

#nico hischier #nhl #new jersey devils #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier x you #nico hischier x y/n #nico hischier fic #nico hischier one shot #nhl x reader #nhl x you #nhl x y/n #nhl fic #nhl one shot

[hockey-fics]

That Night in Michigan - Quinn Hughes (mostly)

You can feel your eyes prickling with tears, your heart racing. Quinn had never spoken to you in that way before. Never in a million years would you have expected Quinn to speak to you that way.

Word count: ~9,100

Warnings: drinking

There were few things you could count on to be stable in your life. One of the few things that you could count on were summers with the Hughes family. Your parents were close with Ellen and Jim, close enough to receive an open invite to the summer home every year. From as early as you can remember your summers were spent on that same sunny lake in Michigan. 

You grew close with Luke, Jack, and Quinn over all those summers. It was on that lake in Michigan that some of your best memories were made. Countless hours splashing around in the lake, learning to paddle board, and water ski. You had your first sip of alcohol one year and your first time getting drunk a couple years after that. Late nights spent around a kitchen table playing round after round of whatever board game you were into that year.  

During those summers your feelings for Quinn changed. At some point he went from the friend you spent every summer with to the boy you spent ever summer with who you also had a crush on. Every year your feelings for him grew deeper and deeper. As time went on and you graduated from high school, with your confidence growing, you started to act on your feelings. In small ways, flirtatious comments here and there, compliments that were a little more than just friendly. But nothing more ever came from it. 

After everyone had graduated high school the summers at the lake house changed. When Quinn and Jack decided to purchase the house for themselves it changed even further. Visits weren’t as long or as frequent, but you looked forward to them just as much as you did when you were a kid. 

This year Quinn had invited you to the lake house for a week in August, when he would be there with his brothers and a group of friends that for the most part you didn’t know. Of course you agreed and after booking the time off work you made the journey to the lake house. 

Pulling into the driveway you hop out of the car, the hot air hitting your air-conditioning cooled skin like running into a brick wall. After pulling your few bags from the backseat of your car and lugging them up to the front door you push it open, music playing from somewhere in the house. 

“Hello,” you call out, pulling your bags inside and shutting the door behind you. Kicking your shoes off you turn your head when you see a figure appear next to you. 

“Hey,” Luke greets, walking over and pulling you into a hug. “Took you long enough.”

“Some of us take the speed limit as more than just a suggestion, Luke,” you tease. 

“You’re so boring,” Luke jokes, reaching over and picking your bags off the ground. You follow after him to the room you had spent many summers in, tossing the bag you were carrying onto the bed. “We’re out back when you’re ready,” Luke tells you before leaving you alone in the bedroom. 

Rifling through your bags you pull out a bikini, quickly changing into it before tugging your shorts and t-shirt back on. If you remembered one thing about the lake house it was to always be ready to be in the water. Heading through the house you follow the sound of music and chatter from the patio, stepping outside a few minutes later. 

“Y/N,” Jack cheers, a bottle of beer in his hand, though you could have guessed without the obvious indicator that he was a few drinks in. 

“Hi Jack,” you laugh, walking behind the chair he was in to lean down and wrap your arms around him. “Starting a little early?”

“It’s summer,” Jack defends with a chuckle. “You’re actually starting late.”

Standing up straighter your eyes scan the group of mostly unfamiliar faces till they land on Quinn. You can’t stop the smile that spreads on your face as Quinn gets up, walking around the table to pull you into a hug. “How was the drive?” Quinn asks, his arms still firmly around you. 

You can’t help but let out a sigh of contentment being in Quinn’s arms. “It was long.”

“I told you to just fly in and I’d pick you up,” Quinn reminds you. 

“I know, I just didn’t want to interrupt,” you tell him. 

“It wouldn’t have been an interruption,” Quinn says, pulling back from the hug. “But now that you’re here, do you want a drink?”

“Yeah, sure.” Turning around you follow Quinn back inside and into the kitchen, watching him pull the fridge open to show you the options. “What would you like?”

Your eyes focus on the selection, a teasing smile growing on your face. “Maybe one of the vodka sodas that I’m guessing you bought for me.”

Quinn chuckles, grabbing a can from the previously unopened box of vodka sodas. After handing it to you Quinn leans against the counter, his eyes focused on you. “It’s been awhile, hey? Feel like I’m missing out when I see you hanging out with Jack and Luke.”

“Well you’re the one who moved all the way to Canada,” you tease. “They’re only a half hour drive from me, you’re like…a hundred.”

“Forty-four, actually…I’ve checked.”

“Oh, sorry, just a short forty-four hour drive, I’ll be sure to pop in for a visit more often.”

“I’ll just come see you in New York instead…probably be more fun than Vancouver.”

“Yeah, you can stay with me in my four hundred square foot apartment,” you joke.

“Sounds cozy.”

Reaching over you take Quinn’s hand in yours, pulling him through the kitchen to stand just in front of you. “I don’t mind getting cozy with you.”

“I definitely need to make a trip then.” 

Before you have the chance to say anything else you see someone walk into the room and you pull back from Quinn, looking over at him. “Hi,” you say to the man who you had never met before. 

“Hey,” he greets, setting an empty can down onto the kitchen counter. “You must be Y/N.”

“I am,” you tell him with a friendly smile, wishing you knew his name in return. 

“This is Holtzy,” Quinn tells you, nodding towards the man. 

“Alex,” he interjects with a smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” you tell him, watching as he grabs another drink from the fridge. “You play with Luke and Jack, right?” you ask, putting the pieces together. 

“Yeah, I do,” Alex replies, his smile widening. “They never let me come with them when they go to New York to see you.”

“What?” you laugh, shaking your head. “Why not?”

“They said you didn’t invite me.”

With a quiet scoff you roll your eyes. “Well you’re always invited, and if they say otherwise you can tell them to take it up with me,” you tell him.

“Oh, I will, I need a local to show me around New York.”

“Local might be a stretch,” you tell him with a giggle. “But I’ll show you around anytime.”

You watch Quinn step away from you, heading towards the patio door. “Guess we’re going back outside,” you say to Alex, glancing back at him. “You coming?”

Alex nods, following you back outside just a couple seconds after Quinn. Finding an empty seat beside Luke you settle in, joining into the conversation a few minutes later. The rest of the day slips by quickly, conversation flowing easily as you catch up with Quinn, Luke, and Jack and get to know the others that were there. By the time the sun had set there was a definite buzz in your body from the alcohol. Half of the group had piled inside to play a few games of pool, others already calling it a night and heading to bed. 

With everyone but you and Quinn gone from the patio the energy was different. Quieter, calmer. “I’ve missed you,” you say to Quinn, taking a sip of your drink. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Quinn echoes. “How’s New York been?”

You’re quiet for a few minutes, thinking through the last couple years of living in New York. “It’s been good,” you tell him with a shrug. “I mean moving there by myself…it’s a big city, it gets lonely sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah,” Quinn breathes out. “I get what you’re saying.”

“Lonely up there in Vancouver?”

Quinn shrugs, glancing out at the lake for a second. “It feels lonely when I go back after being with everyone down here. But it’s not bad, it’s not like I can really complain.”

“You can complain,” you assure him. “I’m not going to tell anyone that the twenty-three year millionaire professional athlete is complaining about living in a beautiful city in Canada.”

“See, I can’t-.”

“I’m joking, Quinn,” you interrupt, laughing as you stand up to walk over towards him. Sitting down on the couch next to Quinn you wrap your arm around his shoulder, leaning into his side. “I know you’re close with your family, I get it.”

“It’s not just them,” Quinn whispers. “I miss you a lot too, you know?”

Pulling back slightly you look into Quinn’s eyes, your heart hammering in your chest. “That’s good, because I miss you a lot too.”

You watch his cheeks redden, his eyes diverting away from you. Giggling you reach over, your hands cupping his cheeks as you turn his head to look you in the eyes again. “Look who’s blushing,” you tease. 

“You love this, don’t you?” Quinn asks, his hands wrapping around your wrists to pull your hands from his face. 

“Yes,” you giggle, leaning in to press your lips to his cheek. “I think you do too.”

Before Quinn has the chance to respond you hear the sliding glass door open and you pull away from Quinn, turning to look over at the door. 

“We’re going for a night swim,” Jack tells you, reaching down and grabbing your hands, tugging you up to your feet. “You coming?”

Your eyes fall to your hands, where Jack was still holding onto them. “I guess so,” you tell him with a breath of laughter. Turning around you look down at Quinn, nodding towards the lake. 

“Next time,” Quinn tells you. “I’m kinda tired, I’m going to head to bed, you know where my room is if you need anything tonight, okay?”

You part your lips, ready to try to argue for him to come with you before deciding against it. “Okay,” you finally say before heading down the back steps of the patio and down the dock. The water is illuminated by the moon in the clear sky and you peel off your t-shirt and shorts, tossing them onto the ground. 

Luke is the first one to get in the water, followed quickly by Max and Gavin. You were one of the last, hesitating around the edge of the dock when you feel a set of hands grasp at your arms. “No,” you shriek in surprise, not wanting to be pushed in. 

“Sorry,” Alex laughs, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back a couple feet from the edge. “I wasn’t actually going to, I’m sorry.”

Your hands land on his forearm, giggling quietly. “It’s fine, you just scared me,” you breathe out. “Are you coming in?”

“Yeah,” Alex tells you, stepping back to pull his shirt off. Your eyes trail down over his body though it wasn’t as discreet as you had hoped, when your eyes meet with his again there’s a smirk on his face. “Like what you see?”

“Yes,” you reply quickly with a feigned confidence that you hoped would mask the embarrassment of being caught checking him out. Before he has the chance to say anything else you hop into the water, the cool temperature a shock to your system that is slow to dissipate. 

The night swim doesn’t last long. The cold water zaps the warm buzz in your body and forces you to climb out of the water and into the comfort of a well worn-in beach towel. After saying a round of goodnights to everyone still up you make your way to your designated guest room, changing into a pair of pyjamas and falling asleep far quicker than you had anticipated. 

When you wake up the next morning the house is quiet, the air is cool, everything feels serene in a way that you hadn’t felt anywhere else before. Tugging on a hoodie you leave your room, stepping quietly through the house in order to not wake anyone up. In the kitchen you pull open a few cupboards till you find some coffee, brewing a pot of coffee while scrolling on your phone. 

“Morning.”

Lifting your head you look over at Quinn, smiling softly. “Good morning,” you reply, shuffling over to pull him into a hug. “How’d you sleep?”

Quinn wraps his arms around you without hesitation, running his hand along your back. “Pretty good. How was the swim?”

“It was quick, I didn’t last long,” you tell him, receiving a chuckle from him in response. You never were one for long night swims. When you were younger it was primarily because the darkness of the water and stillness of the night would freak you out and no matter how much you tried to put your fears aside you would end up getting out long before everyone else. As you got older the fears subsided, being replaced by a distaste for the cold water in the cool evenings. You stay in Quinn’s arms till you hear the distinct hissing sound from the coffee pot telling you that the coffee had finished brewing. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Still don’t like it,” Quinn tells you. His eyes follow you around the kitchen as you find yourself a mug, pouring yourself a cup of the steaming liquid. “Want to sit outside?”

Setting the pot back into the maker you pick up your mug, following Quinn out onto the back patio. Settling into the corner of the patio couch you pull your legs up onto the couch, turning to face Quinn on the other end of the couch. “I wish I could just stay here forever.”

“You could,” Quinn tells you, reaching over and setting his hand on your leg. “I’m not going to tell you to leave.”

“But you wouldn’t be here and that’s at least seventy-five percent of the reason I like being out here.”

“What’s the other twenty-five?” 

“Probably like twenty percent the lake and five percent Luke and Jack,” you joke. 

Quinn chuckles, shaking his head. Of course you were joking, Jack and Luke were some of your closest friends, you grew up with them, they were like family. But there was definitely a bit of truth in the joke, your feelings for Quinn were different, you had accepted that long ago. “I knew I was the favourite.”

“Yeah? How’d you figure that out? Was it maybe when I told you that I had a crush on you?”

“I think you have a crush on everyone.” You want to think the comment is a joke, that it doesn’t mean anything. But you can’t ignore the way Quinn’s eyes fall towards the ground as he says it, the way his voice grows quieter. 

“That’s not true,” you insist, shuffling across the couch to sit next to him. “I’m serious, Quinn, I’ll kiss you right now.”

Quinn’s lips curl into a smile, shaking his head. “You’re so funny,” Quinn mutters with obvious sarcasm. 

“I’m not joking,” you exclaim, shifting onto your knees to fully face him, your hands cupping the sides of his face. “I will.”

“What’s stopping you?” Quinn’s eyes drop to your lips and you inhale a sharp breath, your heart racing in your chest. What was stopping you? The potential to ruin a lifelong friendship was definitely high up on that list. 

“I don’t know,” you whisper, leaning in a little closer. The moment felt like it had slowed down, every sensation in your body heightened. Before you have the chance to move any closer the sound of the door whipping open causes you to clamber back away from Quinn. 

“Shit, sorry, was I interrupting something?” Luke asks, but the smirk on his face tells you he isn’t really that sorry about it. 

“Nope,” you reply quickly, staring down at your hands to hide the way your cheeks had suddenly grew hot. 

“Are we still going out on the boat later?” Luke asks Quinn, the smirk not wiped from his face. 

“Yeah, whenever everyone gets up,” Quinn tells him, clearing his throat nervously. “I’ll um, I’ll go make sure everything is good to go,” he adds, hoping up from his seat, heading towards the dock without a moment of hesitation. 

“So, you are you two….you know?” Luke asks you as you get up to head inside with him. 

“No,” you tell him honestly. “Maybe if you hadn’t ruined it though,” you add with a playful whack to Luke’s arm. 

“Do it in your room next time then,” Luke replies as you head through the house towards your room. 

“Our rooms share a wall, are you sure about that?” 

Luke wrinkles his nose at your insinuation, pushing you towards the bedrooms. “Go get ready to go on the boat, I don’t want to think about this anymore.”

It doesn’t take you long to change into your bikini and a pair of shorts, grabbing a few things before making your way outside and down to the dock. 

Stepping onto the boat you set your bag down, taking a drink from the cooler before claiming your seat across from Quinn who was in the driver’s seat. After everyone settles in you head out into the middle of the lake, the sun high and hot in the sky. A round of rock-paper-scissors settles who got first dibs on water skiing. You spend the majority of the afternoon alternating between watching whoever was water skiing and talking with those who weren’t, though you had to admit you were giving most of your attention to Quinn. 

You had just finished watching Luke take his turn water skiing when Dalton steps in front of you, blocking the sun that you were comfortably warmed by. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a turn?”

“No,” you giggle, shaking your head. “I’m so bad at it, it’s embarrassing.”

“Come on, you can’t be that bad,” Dalton replies, a mischievous smirk on his face. 

“Yes, I am,” you assure him. “Now can you move? Your blocking my sun.”

“You’re already burnt, I’m doing you a favour.”

“I am not,” you exclaim with a giggle, pulling your sunglasses off to look at the skin on your arms. It’s tinged with a slight redness and you let out a quiet groan. “Well are you at least going to help me put more sunscreen on then?” you ask Dalton with a teasing smile. 

“I’ll help you put sunscreen on any time.”

Standing up you grab the bottle of sunscreen, handing it to him before turning around and pulling your hair over one shoulder. 

“Do I only get to do your back or can I help with the rest?” he jokes. 

“Don’t push your luck, Dalton,” you tease, flinching when the cold sunscreen hits your back. After he’s done with your back and shoulders you take the bottle back, continuing onto the rest of your body. When you lift your head your eyes meet with Quinn and before you have the chance to so much as smile he’s looking away, his expression cold and distant. Furrowing your eyebrows you try to figure out what had caused that reaction, flopping back down into your seat with a sigh. 

You stay out on the lake for another couple hours before heading back in, Quinn easily docking the boat. You gather your belongings, taking your empty cans with you as you head up from the dock to the house. Your skin was sticky with a mix of sweat and sunscreen, forcing you to head straight for the shower. The water is refreshing, as are the clean shorts and t-shirt you pull on after it. 

Back outside you find Quinn on the patio again, almost in the exact same spot you had been so close to kissing him just that morning. The air is still hot, the summer sun slowly beginning to dip lower over the horizon. Walking over you sit on the wicker arm of the patio chair he was in, resting your arm on the back behind him. “Do I have competition?” 

“Hmm?” Quinn hums, tipping his head back to look up at you, squinting against the sun. 

You nod towards his phone, still unlocked and in his hands. “Just seem pretty focused on your phone.”

Quinn shakes his head quickly, a breath of laughter escaping his lips. “Had to keep myself busy while you were in the shower.” 

“Could have come joined me,” you tell him with a playful smirk. Sliding from the arm of the chair you set yourself down onto Quinn’s lap, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Stop,” Quinn groans, his cheeks growing redder by the second. You had to admit it, you liked how flustered you could make him. 

“If you insist.” Tugging your own phone out of your pocket you unlock it, heading to the app that consumed an ungodly amount of your free time. You scroll through the for you page on TikTok, enjoying the way Quinn’s chest would rumble with laughter underneath you. He would never admit that he enjoyed just sitting around watching TikTok with you but he didn’t need to say it for you to know it was true. 

Eventually talks of dinner disrupt your time with Quinn and you reluctantly pull yourself out of his lap to let him take the lead on dinner. You’re pretty sure someone else could have manned the barbecue but you take it as an opportunity to get off social media as well.

Wandering inside you find Dylan in the kitchen, chopping romaine lettuce with all the skill of a preschooler. “Do you need some help there?” you tease, resting your elbows onto the kitchen island and leaning down onto it. Your eyes move from the lettuce to his eyes, a playful smile on your lips. 

“Am I not doing a good enough job?” Dylan asks with an uncertain chuckle, looking down at the lettuce in front of him. 

“Well, I can’t say it’s the method I would use,” you tell him. 

“My skills are not in the kitchen,” Dylan confesses, setting the knife down next to the cutting board. “But I have plenty of skills.”

Standing up straighter you walk around to the other side of the island, pushing him a few steps away from the cutting board and picking up the knife. “Like what?” 

“Hockey,” Dylan replies quickly. 

“Yeah…you and everyone else here,” you tell him, tossing a handful of chopped lettuce in the salad spinner. “I mean, aside from myself.”

“Tough critic,” Dylan says with a laugh, leaning against the counter beside you. “Beer pong.”

“You and everyone else here…including myself,” you tease, turning your attention from the lettuce to look up at him. 

“I like that confidence,” Dylan says, walking to the fridge to pull something out of it. When he returns he sets the can next to you, a vodka soda. “You’re on my team if we play then.”

“Deal,” you say, picking up the can and opening it. “You sure know how to win me over.” You take a quick sip of the cold raspberry flavoured drink before getting back to work, getting the salad prepped. By the time you finish the salad and the drink Dylan got for you Quinn is back inside with a plate full of cooked steaks. 

His eyes shift back and forth between you and Dylan as he sets the plate down and for the first time you realized just how close you were standing to Dylan. “I’ll go tell everyone dinner is ready,” you say before quickly scurrying out of the room. When you return to the kitchen Quinn already has his dinner, sitting at the kitchen table with Dylan. Grabbing your own dinner you claim the spot beside Quinn before anyone else has the chance to. “Thank you,” you whisper to him, letting your hand fall onto his thigh under the table. 

“Of course,” Quinn mumbles and you swear his eyes shift down to your lips for a split second. But it’s so quick and you were already tipsy and perhaps you were reading things wrong.

After dinner you help clean the kitchen while a group sets up a table for beer pong, a suggestion made by none other than Dylan. He quickly claims you as his partner and you find yourself at his side again. You manage to hold your own through the game, sinking your ball in the last remaining cup on your opponents side. 

“Holy shit,” Dylan exclaims, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up in a celebration. “You weren’t lying,” he adds as he sets you down, his hands lingering on your arms. 

“I’m in college, Dylan, of course I’m good at beer pong,” you tell him with a giggle. 

“Very impressive,” he says, handing you a ping pong ball for the next round of the game. 

You play a few more games before giving up your spot. Heading to the fridge you get yourself another drink, popping the can open and taking a large sip. When you turn around you nearly run into Quinn, jumping slightly. “Hi,” you breathe out. 

“Hey,” Quinn replies, his hand falling on your hip as he guides you away from the front of the fridge to get a drink for himself. “How many have you had?”

Rolling your eyes you shrug in response. “Does it matter?”

“Guess not,” Quinn mutters. You watch him take a step away, leaning back against the kitchen counter, his eyes focused on anything but you. 

You remain silent and still for a few minutes, your mind processing his sudden coldness towards you. You follow his eyes, watching the beer pong game with him for a few minutes. “Want to go outside with me?”

Quinn finally looks over at you, hesitating for a second before nodding in agreement. Weaving your way through the house you step outside with Quinn, the night air still warm, the sounds inside the house fading as Quinn pulls the door shut behind him. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” you hum, nodding a second later. “Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to spend some time with you.” Walking to the edge of the patio you lean against the railing, focusing on the gentle lapsing of the water against the shore. Quinn moves to stand beside you, resting his forearms on the railing beside you. “You’ve been quiet today.”

“Don’t have a lot to say, I guess,” Quinn mumbles. 

Sighing you lean over, nudging him gently. “Are you not having a good time?”

“I am.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, turning to face Quinn. 

“Yeah,” Quinn repeats, looking over at you, smiling softly. 

Reaching over you grab Quinn’s hand, pulling him away from the railing. “Come with me,” you say before guiding him to the stairs of the patio and down towards the lake. 

“What are we doing?” Quinn asks, hesitation clear in his voice. 

“Do you not trust me?” you ask, stopping just before the shore gives way to the lake water. 

The sky is clear and the night is illuminated by the moon and stars above you. It’s hard to make out the details around you but you can see the uncertainty on Quinn’s face. Giggling quietly you look out towards the water before turning your attention to Quinn. “We’re going to go swimming.”

“I’m wearing jeans,” Quinn tells you, shaking his head. 

“Take them off,” you suggest with a playful smile, your hands grasp the bottom hem of your t-shirt, tugging it over your head. Tossing the shirt onto the ground you stare over at Quinn, waiting for him to make the next move. 

You watch as he moves his hands to unbutton his jeans, kicking his shoes off before sliding them off his body. Quickly you shimmy out of your shorts, setting them with your shirt before reaching your hands around your back, unhooking your bra. 

“Oh, woah, I, uh, what are you, um, what are you doing?” Quinn stammers, looking up the yard towards the house. 

“Nobody’s watching, Quinn,” you whisper, slowly pulling your bra off, holding your arm over your bare chest as you drop the bra beside your clothes. 

Quinn’s chest is rising and falling a little quicker now, palpable hesitation in his movements as he takes off his shorts. Standing in silence he looks over at you, neither of you making the next move. “Are you going to keep going?” you finally whisper. 

Quinn pauses for a second before sliding his boxers off, his eyes locked with yours, watching to see if you’re going to let your eyes wander. You pull your own underwear off a second later, turning towards the water and stepping into it. The cool water lapses against your ankles and you let out a shaky breath. “It’s cold.”

“You’re the one that wanted to do this,” Quinn reminds you, taking your hand and pulling you along with him further into the water. You skin is covered in goosebumps, each step into the lake cooling your body further and further. 

“Fuck,” you whisper as the water reaches your chest, your nipples hardening. “I’ll go under if you do.”

“Deal,” Quinn chuckles, letting go of your hand as he dips lower into the water. 

“You first,” you say, hugging your arms tight around your body. 

“No way,” Quinn exclaims. “You’re not going to do it.”

“Yes, I will,” you retort, though you can’t stop yourself from smiling, a tell tale sign that you were lying. “Fine,” you huff. “On the count of three.”

You count down to three, ducking under the water and resurfacing as quickly as you could. Reaching your hands back you push your hair back behind your ears, giggling as you look over at Quinn. His eyes fall to your now exposed chest and you can feel your heartbeat speeding up. “Sorry,” he mutters when he realizes that you had noticed. 

Reaching over you take Quinn’s hands, pulling him closer. “I don’t mind,” you whisper, glancing down to his lips. 

Laughter catches your attention, looking up towards the shore, a few people now standing on the patio. “Shit,” you whisper, looking back to Quinn. 

“I’ll go get us some towels, just stay here,” Quinn says, swimming back towards the shore as you pull your arms up in front of you again. 

When he gets closer to the shore the sound of his body moving through the water catches the attention of the guys on the patio. “What are you-,” Jack begins to ask, his voice shifting to laughter as he spots you. The laughter mixes with teasing whoops coming from the three on the patio as Quinn pulls on his shorts and heads towards the house. 

He returns with a couple towels, opening one up for you as you hurry towards him. When you get closer he wraps the towel around your body, holding it up till you had it secured around you. “Thank you,” you whisper, staring up at him. Your skin is covered in goosebumps again, droplets of water slipping down your bare arms. “They’re watching,” you add a moment later, as Quinn begins to lean in closer. 

“Right, yeah, um, we should head in,” Quinn mutters, stepping back and gathering the clothes from the ground while you head for the patio. 

“Invite me next time, hey?” Max comments when you get closer, his words drawn out and cloaked in a drunk tone. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Jack mutters to him, elbowing him to get his attention, shaking his head to let him know he was serious. 

Your cheeks are hot as you scurry by and up to your room as quickly as you could. You hadn’t thought this part of it through, feeling so exposed as you hurried through the house full of people in nothing more than a thin beach towel. With the bedroom door closed behind you you’re able to let out a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding, changing into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, your skin still cold to the touch from the lake. 

Laying down on the bed you find your phone, no longer in much of a partying mood. A few minutes later there’s a quiet knock on the door and you sit up, looking towards the door. “Yeah?”

“You okay?” Quinn calls through the closed bedroom door, making you laugh softly. Of course he wouldn’t barge in, though he had just seen you naked so it felt unnecessary to be so concerned about your privacy. 

Standing up you walk over to the door, pulling it open and leaning against the doorframe in front of Quinn. “I’m okay,” you assure him. “A little cold.”

“Should I remind you again that it was your idea?” Quinn asks with a smirk. “Are you coming back down?”

“I don’t know, I think I might call it a night,” you say with a shrug. 

“Do you want to do something else? We could just watch a movie or something.”

“Yeah, sure.” Pushing the door open further you step out of your room, following Quinn down the hall to his bedroom. Crawling onto the bed you turn your attention to the TV as Quinn flips through the menu to get to Netflix. Pulling the blankets back you slide underneath them in an attempt to warm yourself up. 

“You’re going to fall asleep,” Quinn says, sitting on the edge of the bed as he scrolls through the movies available on Netflix. 

“I am not.” 

“Okay,” Quinn replies, though it’s clear that he doesn’t believe you.  

After deciding on a comedy Quinn lays down next to you, his arm around your back as you lay your head on his chest. Quinn wasn’t wrong about you falling asleep, your eyes feeling heavy for awhile before you drift to sleep, long before the end of the movie. 

When you wake up again it’s the next morning and you’re in almost the same spot you fell asleep the night before. Your arm is slung over Quinn’s torso, his chest rising and falling beneath your head with each heavy breath. Slowly you pull yourself away from him, careful not to wake him as you slip out of the bed and leave his room. You mind is hazy, racing with thoughts of the night before. How badly you wished you and Quinn had just a few more minutes alone in the lake. But maybe it was for the best. Ruining your friendship in one drunk night might not have been your best move. 

You spend most of the morning alone in the living room, watching tv till everyone begins pulling themselves out of bed. “So, how was your night?” Jack asks, flopping onto the couch beside you, a teasing smirk on his face. 

Rolling your eyes you shrug in response, glancing into the kitchen where Quinn was chatting with Luke and Dylan. “It was fine.”

“Oof,” Jack replies with a chuckle. “Just fine? That’s gotta hurt Quinny’s ego.”

“We didn’t hook up, Jack,” you mutter, staring at your hands as you twist a ring around your index finger. 

“Really? I thought when you guys were-,” he begins before shaking his head.

“No,” you whisper. Dropping your legs from where you had them pulled up in front of you onto the floor you pull yourself to your feet. “I’m going to go outside for a bit.”

“Are you okay?” Jack calls as you walk towards the back door. You nod in response but you don’t say anything more. 

You walk outside and keep going till you’re at the end of the dock, dropping down and dangling your legs over the edge of it. The sky was gloomy, the day overcast. Sighing to yourself you lean back on your arms, watching the ripples on the surface lake for awhile. 

“You look kind of sad out here by yourself.”

Looking over your shoulder you smile at Alex as he walks up the dock, lowering himself down beside you. “I’m not.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you tell him, laughing quietly. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Things,” you reply, looking down at the water. 

“Mysterious,” Alex says with a chuckle. 

“Oh yeah, I have tons of secrets.”

“Tell me one.”

Turning your head you look over at Alex, smiling playfully. “Well then it wouldn’t a secret, would it?”

“Fine, tell me something about yourself that isn’t a secret.”

“What do you want to know?”

“What are you taking in university?

“I’m majoring in psychology,” you tell him. “Minoring in dance.”

“Dance?” Alex asks, surprise clear in his voice. 

“Do I not look like I know how to dance?”

Alex hesitates for a second, his eyebrows furrowing. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. It’s cool, I just didn’t know people did that.”

“Danced?” you tease. 

“Well I don’t,” Alex defends. 

Pulling your legs up you hop to your feet, reaching your hand down towards him. “Get up.”

“Why?” Alex asks, drawing the word out. 

“Because you’re going to dance.” Taking your phone from your pocket you put on some music while you wait for Alex to get up. 

“I really don’t know how to dance.”

“Lucky for you I’m a pretty good teacher,” you tell him, reaching over and taking his hand. Pulling him closer you place one of his hands on your waist, grabbing the other one and holding it up. You walk him through a basic box step, barely able to contain your laughter as he messes up time and time again. Eventually he gets it down, at least close enough that it looks like you’re actually dancing. “See, you can dance,” you tell him. 

“Do you think I could get a minor in dance?” he jokes, lifting his arm up and spinning you around. 

“Well that was pretty impressive, so maybe,” you tell him with a giggle. “Want to head back? You can show everyone your new skills,” you tease. 

“No way I’m dancing for those guys.” Following you back down the dock you walk inside with Alex, everyone hanging around the kitchen table, cards in hand. 

Walking over you stop behind Quinn, sliding your arms down from his shoulder to his chest, leaning down to look at the cards in his hand. “What are you playing?” you whisper.

“President,” Quinn mutters. “You’ve never played before.”

“How do you know?” 

“Because you told me you only ever play cards when you’re here and I’ve never played with you,” Quinn replies cooly. 

“Alright,” you mutter, realizing he wasn’t about to explain it to you either. Sighing you pull back, walking into the living room to take your spot on the couch again. Had you really read the situation between you and Quinn that poorly that even what happened last night was an overstep?

By the time dinner is being made the drinks have started flowing again, the kitchen loud with laughter as dinner is haphazardly thrown together. You keep to yourself for most of the evening, suddenly feeling out of place. It was the first time you had ever felt uncomfortable at the lake house, the place that had always been a safe haven for you. 

“Are you going to be a loser and sit by yourself all night or are you going to come hang out?” Luke asks, hovering in the doorway of the living room. 

Reaching over you grasp a pillow tossing it at him. “Don’t be a dick,” you mutter, watching him easily catch the pillow, tossing it back onto the couch. 

“Sorry, I was joking,” Luke replies, raising his hands defensively. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.” Pulling your legs up onto the couch you wrap your arms around your knees, leaning your head on them. “It’s just…Quinn.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing,” you whisper. “It doesn’t matter, Luke, just go back and hangout with everyone else.”

Luke sighs loudly, walking into the room and dropping onto the other end of the couch. “You know I’m not going to just leave you. Tell me what he did, I’ll beat him up.” You can’t help but laugh at the comment, turning your head to smile at Luke. “You know I could.”

“I know,” you reply, giggling quietly. “Come on,” you say, standing up and nodding for Luke to follow you. You weren’t about to let him sulk with you just because he didn’t want to leave you alone. Leaving the living room you head back into the kitchen, getting yourself a drink before stepping onto the back patio where everyone had moved to. Finding a seat you do your best to stay engaged with the conversation but you can’t stop yourself from sneaking glances at Quinn every chance you could. 

The sky is completely dark before you know it but you’re still not able to shake the sinking feeling you have about Quinn. When you see him stand up you watch him go inside you take the chance to talk to him alone and hop to your feet. Inside you close the door behind you, walking towards the kitchen. 

“Quinn,” you whisper, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen as you watch him slam back the contents of his cup. “Can we talk?”

“About?” Quinn mutters coldly, pulling the door of the fridge open before yanking out a bottle of beer. 

“I, um, I just,” you stammer, watching him pop the lid of the bottle off. “Did I do something wrong? I just feel like you’re upset about something or upset with me or, I don’t know, I just-.”

“Just don’t like when you can’t have the attention of every guy around?” Quinn mutters, his words slurred. 

Your eyes widen, a shaky breath leaving your lungs. “What?” 

“Don’t like hearing the truth?” 

“What are you talking about, Quinn?” you exclaim, folding your arms across your chest, your fingers digging into your arms. 

“I’m talking about you fucking flirting with everyone…then you tell me you have feelings for me but that’s obviously bullshit. Especially after last night, like what the fuck, Y/N? I’m done with this…with you.” 

You can feel your eyes prickling with tears, your heart racing. Quinn had never spoken to you in that way before. Never in a million years would you have expected Quinn to speak to you that way. “I-,” you begin, though you weren’t even sure what you were planning to say. Reaching up you wipe away a couple tears that had pooled under your eyes. “I wasn’t…it wasn’t like that Quinn, I wasn’t flirting with everyone-.”

“You were,” Quinn interrupts.

“Stop,” you breathe out, shaking your head. “Please, Quinn, please just listen to me,” you plead. Your breath was catching in your throat, desperately trying to hold back your tears. “I really like you Quinn, I’ve had feelings for you since I was twelve, I love you Quinn…I’m in love with you.”

“Yeah?” Quinn mutters coldly. “Seems like if that was true you wouldn’t be flirting with other people right in front of my fucking face.”

“Please,” you whisper, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, it never meant anything, I didn’t think it was a problem, I-.”

“Maybe you should have thought about someone other than yourself then,” Quinn snaps. 

“Why are you being so mean?” you croak, choking back a sob. 

You watch his expression soften, a silence falling between the two of you that feels tense and uncomfortable. You swallow heavily, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he doesn’t. You stand there, silent and still as Quinn turns around and walks out of the room. With your vision still blurry with tears you walk in the opposite direction, opening the front door and sitting down on the steps to the front of the house. It’s quieter on this side, the night air drying the tears on your cheeks as you stare up at the clear sky now full of bright stars. 

You don’t know how long you’re sitting there, but it was long enough that the sound of the door opening behind you startles you. Turning your head you look up at the figure behind you. 

“Oh, hey,” Alex says, car keys jingling in his hands as he closes the front door behind him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply quickly, wiping away the few tears left on your face. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Alex hesitates for a second before taking a step down the stairs and lowering himself down beside you. “You sure?”

Sniffling quietly all you can manage to do is nod, staring straight ahead of you into the dark driveway. Alex slides his arm around your shoulders, clearly not believing your terrible lie. Tipping your head to the side you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing yourself to take in the comfort he was offering. “I’m going to go home tomorrow,” you finally whisper. 

Alex squeezes your shoulder gently, waiting a couple seconds for you to continue. “Why?” 

“It’s not a big deal,” you tell him, which was another lie and you’re fairly sure that Alex knew that. “Quinn and I, we, um, we just got into a…a disagreement, I guess.”

Alex nods slowly, running his hand along your arm gently. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” you admit. “You don’t have to sit out here with me moping either, I don’t want to ruin your trip.”

“You’re not ruining anything,” Alex assures. “I’m leaving tomorrow so I wasn’t planning on being up late tonight anyway.”

“Did you get into a fight with Quinn too?” 

Alex laughs, shaking his head. “No, I came a bit earlier with Luke and Jack so I was planning to head out early too.”

“Exciting things happening in Newark that you can’t miss?” 

“Maybe not Newark but New York is pretty close and if you’re going to be there then there’s definitely exciting things I wouldn’t want to miss.”

“Are you flirting with me, Alex?” you ask, lifting your head from his shoulder to look into his eyes. 

“I have been all week…took you long enough to notice,” Alex informs you with a soft smile. 

Your breath catches in your throat, your eyes focusing on his. You were used to casual flirting, flirting when it didn’t mean anything, when it was fine if it went unnoticed. Something in this moment felt different. “Sorry I didn’t, um, I don’t know…I’m not actually good at…this.”

“At what?” Alex asks, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Flirting,” you whisper. 

“No, I think you’re pretty good at that,” Alex says. His laugh afterward lets you know it wasn’t a serious comment but it still felt like a slap in the face. 

Nodding slowly you do your best to discreetly wipe away the tears that had pooled in your eyes again. “Yeah,” you whisper, staring at the night sky. “I guess not the flirting…the feelings part of it.”

“That’s okay,” Alex assures you with a shrug. “That part’s not as easy.”

“You can say that again,” you whisper. 

“That part’s not as easy.”

Turning your head you look over at Alex, taking in his playful smile. You can’t help but laugh at the joke, shaking your head. “So, you wanted a local to show you around New York?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“How about Wednesday?”

“Wednesday would be great.”

A few days later Alex had made the trip from Newark to New York, exactly as you had agreed. After meeting him at your apartment the two of you grab a coffee before heading on a walk. Snapping a quick picture of Alex, walking down the road with an iced coffee in his hand, you post it to your Instagram story, captioning it in your typical humorous style. ‘He wanted the local experience…first stop is to see the subway rats, any other suggestions?’.

You spend the rest of the day together, showing Alex around the city and getting to know each other in a way that you didn’t have the opportunity to at the lake house. After spending the day out and about you ended the evening with take out and a couple bottles of wine at your apartment. 

“This is where you live?” Alex teases as he sets the takeout you two had picked up on the counter in the small kitchen. 

“Don’t be mean,” you laugh, opening the kitchen drawer to find a wine opener for the bottle you had bought. “It’s so expensive to live here and it’s just me so I don’t really need a lot of space anyway.”

“I’m just joking, it’s cute,” Alex tells you, watching you pour a couple glasses of wine, taking one as you hand it to him. 

“Cute,” you repeat, taking a sip of the wine. “You’re just saying it’s small in a nicer way.”

“Well I can’t lie to you, it is small.”

“At least you know that I don’t think size matters,” you tell him with a playful smile. 

Alex’s eyes widen, his eyes falling to your lips for a second before a nervous breath of laughter escapes his lips. “I, uh…do you think that’s something I’m worried about?”

Giggling you take another sip of your wine, letting your eyes trail up and down his body, as if you were really pondering the thought. “There really is only one way to find out, Alex.”

Alex exhales loudly, his hand clamping around his glass of wine as he takes a large gulp of the cool white wine. “Are we at least going to have dinner first?”

“Fuel up,” you tease, pulling his meal out of the bag and setting it down on the kitchen island. Walking around to the other side you slide onto the barstool, taking your own food. 

You make small talk through dinner, but it never for a moment feels forced or unnatural. You talked about his life growing up in Sweden, about his family and his friends. You talked about school, about what your plans were in the future. You talked till the bottles of wine were empty and the clock was nearing midnight. 

“I should probably get an Uber or something,” Alex says, picking his phone up from the coffee table. 

"You can stay here, that’s quite a long Uber ride,” you offer. “The couch is pretty comfortable, or so I’ve heard.”

“I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You wouldn’t be,” you insist, standing up and taking the empty wine glasses to the kitchen. “I’ll grab you some blankets and stuff.”

“Thank you.”

After gathering some blankets and pillows you head to bed yourself. Alex spends the night and much of the next day at your place. He’s back in New York a few days later, coming to karaoke night with your friends. A week later you spend the day in Newark with Jack, Luke and Alex. When the season started you were in Newark for most of the Devils home games, cheering on not just Jack and Luke but Alex as well now. 

“What’s going on with you and Holtzy?” Jack asks, sitting across his living room from you. You had spent the night in Newark after going out for some drinks with them after a game one night in early October. 

Looking up from your phone you shrug in response. “I don’t know…nothing.”

“You two aren’t together or whatever?”

“No, I mean, I…we’re…I don’t know what we are,” you stammer. “Why?”

Jack groans and tips his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Quinn was asking.”

You’re silent for a few minutes, nervously fiddling with a loose thread on your sweater. “How is he?” you whisper. You hadn’t gone this long without talking to Quinn for as long as you’ve had a cellphone. You wanted to, you wanted to talk to him, but after the way you left things at the lake house you didn’t know if you should reach out. 

Jack glances around the room, lips parting as begins to say something before stopping himself. “He’s fine.”

“Okay,” you whisper, your eyes prickling with tears. You weren’t sure where the emotions were coming from. You had been upset about the situation, sure. But you hadn’t expected that hearing he was doing fine without you would hurt so much. “That’s good,” you croak. 

“Oh my god,” Jack groans, noticing your tears. “He’s not,” he admits. “I don’t think he’d want me to tell you that but this thing with you and Alex…he’s not happy about it.”

“Well he’s done with me, so I don’t know why he would even care,” you mumble under your breath. 

“Jesus,” Jack breathes out, shaking his head. “What are you talking about? What happened that night in Michigan?” 

“He, um, he made it clear that he didn’t like my behaviour and he’s done with me,” you say quietly, swallowing heavily as a few tears slip from your eyes. 

“He’s not done with you.” Jack stands up and closes the distance between you and him, sitting down and wrapping his arms around you. “Why don’t you call him tonight?”

Sighing you rest your head on Jack’s shoulder, not agreeing to call him but not saying no either. Maybe it was what you needed. At least then you could have an answer, if you and Quinn were ever going to be friends again you knew you needed to talk about it. 

You head home that evening, sitting in your apartment and staring at the black screen of your turned off tv. You didn’t need to put anything on, your mind was doing enough to keep you preoccupied. Eventually you reach over, picking up your phone and finding Quinn’s contact. Hesitantly you dial his number, lifting your phone to your ear as you listen to the dial tone. 

“Hello?” 

Your heart hammers heavily in your chest at the sound of his voice, a shaky inhale filling your lungs. “Hi,” you whisper. “Do you have time to talk?”

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl one shot #nhl fic #hockey fanfic #hockey fic

[jackhues]

it's november first - quinn hughes

notes: i hope you guys like this, fourth fic for 'it's the most wonderful time of the year' celly :))

likes are good, reblogs are better <3

part of naqia's end of the year celly!

gif not mine

"is there a reason you're inside the closet?"

you looked up at quinn's voice, seeing him standing outside the walk-in closet, brow raised as he tried to determine what it was you were trying to do.

you were buried knee-deep in all of the different things you and quinn stored in this extra closet, trying, but failing, to find what you were looking for.

"i need to find the christmas decorations," you told him.

"why?" he asked you. "it's only november first."

"exactly!" you told him. "it's november first, which means it's time for christmas."

"mhm, and thanksgiving is just not important, i suppose," he muttered, a fond grin on his face.

"quinn, i'm canadian," you reminded him. "we're in canada right now. turkey's gone. that happens during october, remember? now that halloween is done, there's nothing left to stop me from christmas."

"oh yeah," quinn muttered. he shook his head to himself, "the decorations are on the higher shelf. let me help you."

you moved to the side, letting him walk through the mess you made, and pull out the boxes of christmas decorations. you moved like a train, taking the boxes from him and dropping them outside the closet. quinn left the box of hanukkah decorations, including the menorah, inside. you'd be decorating a little for hanukkah closer to the days.

"alright, that's the last one," quinn said, carrying one of the larger boxes outside. "what now?"

"now we decorate!" you grinned happily.

"see, that's a wonderful idea... but what are we decorating?" quinn asked. "we didn't get our tree yet."

"oh yeah," you remembered.

overexcited to decorate for christmas, you'd forgotten about the process of buying a tree to decorate.

"it's okay," you shrugged it off. "we'll start putting the lights up. and we can get the christmas tree... later this week?"

"works with me," quinn smiled.

the two of you carried the box of christmas lights outside, ready to decorate the front lawn. you pulled the wreath out of the box while quinn untangled the lights. together, the two of you wrapped them around the wreath, creating a cute design.

"ready to hang it up?" you asked.

quinn nodded, the two of you reaching up to hang it over the door. you grinned, admiring your work. it was still daytime, so you'd be lighting it up later.

"time for the arches?" quinn asked.

you nodded, causing him to grin widely.

he loved putting the arches over your door for some reason. they were simple, made like the wreath, but there was a mistletoe that hung from the center of it.

the two of you sat on the porch, wrapping the arch with the christmas lights.

"no, no, you need to wrap it looser," quinn said. "otherwise we won't have enough lights. remember last year?"

"oh yeah," you muttered sheepishly.

last year you'd gotten a little excited with the christmas lights, tying them so tightly that they were bunched up at the bottom of the arch, and that there was nothing left towards the top end.

quinn helped you untie the christmas lights, and you wrapped them looser this time, grinning as you finished towards the top of the arch.

"done!" you showed quinn your half of the arch.

quinn finished tying the mistletoe in the center, getting up as he finished. "all right, now it's time to put it up."

he grabbed a ladder, hooking the arch up as he went. you stood below, making sure it was levelled and proper.

"perfect!" you smiled as quinn finished, climbing off the ladder.

he looked up, grinning mischieviously.

you followed his gaze to the mistletoe, rolling your eyes. he did this every year, and you never got tired of it.

"mistletoe," he pointed.

"i know," you muttered.

"it's christmas law to kiss," he added seriously.

"i said i know you goof," you grinned, pulling him in for a kiss.

quinn smiled against your lips, knowing he'd never get tired of this. he'd put the christmas decorations up on november first every year if it meant he could kiss you like that.

#naqia's end of the year celly! #naqia writes! #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes x y/n #quinn hughes imagines #quinn hughes fics #quinn hughes blurbs #hockey one shot #hockey fic #hockey #nhl one shot #nhl fic #nhl #nhl x reader

[lvrhughes]

Best Birthday Present | Q. Hughes

pairing: Quinn Hughes x fem!reader

word count: 2.7k

warnings: none?

summary: You take quinn around for his birthday before ending the night with him, becoming his favorite birthday present

not my gif!

3, 2, 1…

It was midnight. Officially Quinn’s birthday, where he was, peacefully asleep in his apartment and yet you weren’t. 

Staying awake, waiting for midnight to send the simple ‘happy birthday’ right away. Running over the final details of your plan for his day, the team wanting to do something for him and of course you’d agree. What kind of media manager would you be if you hadn’t? 

The team came to you because they knew you were good at planning, seeing how well you helped plan events in the organization even when it was up to another office. Quickly asking you to help plan a day Quinn would enjoy, making sure he’d have more than enough time alone, at home maybe talking to his brothers and parents. 

Your eyes scanned over the plan one last time, ensuring there were no mistakes. The soft buzzing of your phone brought you out of the trance, moving the day plan to the side to see. 

Quinn’s name covered the screen, his contact photo coming up beneath. 

“Hey Quinner.” You answered, seeing the sleepy boy on the other side of the call.

“Oh did I call you?” His voice was deep with sleep, proving that he had been asleep until moments ago. 

“Yes you did, why’re you awake?”

“Don’t know,” He yawned, “Thanks for the birthday message though.” He smiled, a soft, stubble smile that could’ve given any girl butterflies. 

“Of course, Quinny.” He always smiled at the nickname, glaring when anyone else would call him it. 

“Wait so why’re you awake?” He questioned, realizing he could ask that now.

“Oh, you know just working on some work stuff.” You could hear how terrible the lie was and when Quinn burst out laughing you knew how bad it was. 

“You’re lying.” He laughed, leaned up in his bed now, the blanket falling from his chest. 

“Me? Lie? Phft never.” You could see his smile even in the darkness, the light from your end reflecting on him. 

“Fine, don’t tell me what you’re doing, on my birthday, without me.” He played, clearly waking up now. 

“Can’t tell you yet, the team would kill me.” 

“So the teams’ in on it too!” 

“I already said too much, gotta go Quinny, sleep well, you’ll need it.” You grinned, quickly ending the call after. 

Another immediate call back from Quinn came right after, making you answer again. A smile on his face as you accepted. 

“Come on, baby, you gotta tell me!” He grinned, seeing the pink cover your cheeks at the pet name. Of course this wasn’t the first time he’d used it, nor the second or third, he used it quite often, purely to get the same reaction out of you everytime. 

“Told you Quinny, I can’t but just know, you should be up and out of bed by 11am.” His lips perked up further into more of a smirk at the words, his mind whirling with more questions. 

“And why’s that?” 

“We got a plan and a schedule we gotta stick to.” 

“Oh? And what’s this plan, babe?” 

You turned away at the pet name, tilting the camera to the wall as your face turned crimson. Quinn laughed, slowly you turned your phone back to you. 

“Goodnight, Huggy Bear.” You grinned, seeing the smile grow on his face before ending the call yet again. 

3am, just a few more hours, but until then you’d sleep. Setting the alarm for 9am and curling into your spot on the bed, falling to sleep quickly. 

“Ugh.” You groaned at the constant knocking at your door, quickly grabbing your phone to see the time flash, 5:42am, before walking to your door. 

“Whoever the fuck this is, you best have a death wish!” You groaned as you unlocked the door, seeing an eager Quinn on the other side. “Quinn?” 

“Good morning sleepy head!” He grinned pushing his way in. 

“How’d you get my address?” It seemed like a fair question, he’d never been over before and now he’s shown up at your door. 

“I may have paid Brock to give it to me.” He shyly smiled. 

“My golden retriever betrayed me!” The dramatic groan fell from your lips as you fell on to your couch, seeing Quinn follow you into the living room area. 

“Golden retriever huh?” 

“Yes, he’s blonde like one and quite literally gives off the exact same energy.”

Quinn shrugged, having no argument. Sitting down beside your fallen body on the couch, tilting his head to look at you. 

“What’re you doing here?” You asked, closing your eyes, fighting to stay awake. 

“I can’t just spend my birthday with my favorite media manager?” 

“No, not when you show up too early.” You groaned, rolling onto your side. “I want to go back to bed.” You sighed, opening your eyes enough to stare at quinn. 

“I mean you can, but then what should I do?” Quinn shrugged, waiting for a response to kick him out, to go bother Brock two doors down. 

“You go back to bed too, you were up at three am with me.” You nodded, getting off the couch slowly. 

“But that means going back to my apartment, so I’d have to drive back home, then go back into my bed that I just made,” His list continued, giving you a playful list of stupid reasons why he shouldn’t go back to bed. 

“Okay well, go annoy Brock or come to bed with me, take your choice.” You declared, your tired eyes just barely catching the way his widened at your offer. 

“You want to take me to bed?” He finally smirked, making you smack his arm. 

“Not like that you dick! Fine stay out alone on the couch, miss out on the TV in my room.” You mumbled, turning towards your room. 

“No, wait. I’m coming.” He said, quickly following you to your room. Your body quickly falling onto your bed, Quinn following behind you. 

“You have the other side, this is my side.” You shooed him away, waiting for him to lay beside you. As little as you’d been with Quinn his presence was always so warm, it was so easy to be with him. To act as if you’d been friends for forever and invite him to sleep in your room with you.

You passed him a TV remote, telling him to put whatever he wanted on, curling up into your side. His eyes lingered on your body far longer than they should've, seeing the rise and fall of your chest as you settled into a comfy spot. 

He chose a random show, one he’d seen before, too focused on you to watch anything else. The urge to reach over and hold you overwhelmed Quinn, fighting his own body not to. 

Until you rolled over to him, pressed against his body now, his arms instinctively wrapped around you. His eyes closed, feeling your steady breaths against his neck as he held you lulled him to sleep. 

Needless to say when more knocking on your door appeared at 8:56, neither of you were impressed. Groaning and hiding your face in Quinn’s chest before realizing that he was not your pillow. 

“G’morning.” He whispered, his voice raspy from sleep.

“Morning, birthday boy.” You grinned before the knocking continued. “Ugh, you think if we just ignore them they’ll go away?” 

Quinn shook his head, smiling at your unimpressed attitude to get up.

“You know they won't.” 

“But I could hope.” An odd silence came after, then the sound of your door opening. “I didn’t lock it after you showed up.” You groaned, hearing that they’d learned that information. 

The patter of half the team’s footsteps lead up to your door, seeing it slowly open and Brock’s head peek through. A confused look crossed his face before being pushed into the room by the other members of the team. 

“You’re sleeping with Quinn?” Elias asked, straight forward, making you groan again and hide under the blanket. 

“You’d think if they were sleeping together they wouldn’t have clothes on dumbass.” Brock pointed out. 

“I am not sleeping with Quinn!” You mumbled, peeking out from the blanket to see an amused look on Quinn’s face. “You stop looking so happy.” You glared, seeing quinn put his hands up in false surrender. 

“But technically, you are sleeping with me.” He grinned, making you smack his arm, his hand reaching out to grab yours. 

“You are only in here because you didn’t want to be alone on my couch when you showed up at 5am!” 

The rest of the team slowly piled into your room, some of them immediately turning out at the scene of their captain and media manager in the same bed. 

“We came over to go over the plan, we didn’t know he’d be here.” Brock admitted, seeing the written out plan on your desk, grabbing it and Elias’ arm and leaving. He herded the rest of the team out, informing you they’d be waiting in your living room. 

“I can’t believe you.” You shook your head at Quinn, who still had a smile on his face. 

“What? You don’t want the team to think you're sleeping with their captain?” 

“No, I do not. Not when I’m not actually sleeping with him!” The smile stayed on his face as you got up, leaving the warmth of your bed to search for more appropriate clothes for the day. 

“You could be.” You froze at the words, turning to Quinn, who still laid in your bed. 

“What?” 

“Nevermind.” He quickly brushed off, getting out of your bed and folding the blanket up. “I’ll go so you can get changed.” He smiled, walking out without another word. 

You walked out of your room, equipped in better attire now. The entire team was squished in your living room, listening to Quinn tell some random story while Brock tried to figure out your coffee machine. 

“Do you need help?” You grinned at Brock, who was taking his best guess and pushing random buttons. 

“Yes, badly.” So you taught him, which buttons to push and how much water to put in. Letting the coffee brew quietly behind you as you leaned on the counter listening to Quinn. 

The next hour was spent making many pots of coffee, your fridge being emptied out by the team, with a promise to restock it for you, and even more stories from various team members. 

Then it was time for the first part of the plan. Take Quinn mini-golfing. 

Without telling him where you all were taking him, getting him to agree to go was a little harder, but manageable. More manageable when you took his keys from his pocket and made him sit in the passenger seat before you took his car without him. 

“Mini-golf?” He grinned as he saw the sign, looking over at you driving. 

“Yes, this is the first part of your birthday surprise from the team.” You smiled at him, parking his car beside Brock before getting out. 

“Can I have my keys back?” Quinn asked, reaching for them in your hand. 

“No, we have more places after.” He shook his head, laughing at the sight of you holding his keys behind your back. “Now, let’s go play!” 

The game went good, the team split into groups to play sections of the course at a time, Quinn being the winner of your group. 

“We let you win.” Elias mumbled, making you nod along. Quinn almost burst out laughing at the sight, letting out a strangled sound instead, his heart filled with joy. 

“Sure sure.” He grinned, getting a light smack from Elias. 

The entirety of the game had taken three hours, being slowed down by all the laughing and horribly missed shots. 

2pm, just in time for the matinee. Getting the theatre to agree to replay Quinn’s favorite movie had been a bit harder of a task, needing approval from canucks admin to use team money to do so. But it was approved. 

So once again you were driving Quinn’s car, him in the passenger seat, staring at you the entire drive, bringing him to another mystery destination.

“Where to know? More golf or?” He asked, staring at you in the mirror. 

“You’ll find out in a minute.” He rolled his eyes, returning back to staring at you. “Why’re you staring, Quinny?”

“Can’t I stare at a beautiful girl?” Blush covered your cheeks, making you attempt to smack his arm for him instead to grab your hand. Holding it for the rest of the ride. 

“The theatre?” 

“Yep, come on!” You grabbed his arm, dragging him inside, quickly running into the line for concession. “What do you want?” 

“Um-” Quinn hadn’t had time to answer before the two of you had made it to the front, letting you order first. Quinn nodded along, whispering to you that he’ll just steal your food. 

“Could you add another large drink to that too please?” You added at the end, Quinn sending you a questioning look. “You can take my food, not my drink.” 

He laughed, taking one of the drinks and following you into the room, the rest of the team trailing behind. 

By the end of the movie your head was resting on Quinn’s shoulder, his hand holding yours. Keeping his hand in yours as you left the theatre, leading you back to his car. 

“Can I drive my car yet?” He asked as you approached his car, making you shake your head. 

“Nope, one more place for the night.” He just nodded, walking to the passenger seat quickly as you slid into the driver’s. 

It was a short ride, arriving in perfect timing. 6pm. They had reserved Quinn’s favorite bar for the night, having it entirely to the team and other canucks management. 

“Happy birthday, Quinny.” You smiled as you walked in with him, seeing the decorations put up around the bar. 

The rest of the team followed shortly, ordering food and drinks, simply having a good time. Quinn’s face held a look of pure joy the entire night, keeping close to you, only disappearing when his brothers called. Yet he dragged you with him, pulling you down a random hallway for some quiet to answer the call. 

“Happy birthday Quinner!” You could hear the boys yell over the phone, Quinn thanking them before admitting how much he missed them. 

You knew Quinn loved his brothers, but you’d never been close enough to see how much. It was a heartwarming call, his parents calling the minute his brothers hung up, repeating the happy birthdays and I miss you’s. 

The minute the call ended your arms wrapped around Quinn’s neck, pulling him into a hug, his arms quickly wrapping around your waist. 

“If I would’ve known how much you missed them I would’ve tried harder to get them here, I’m sorry Quinny.” 

“Oh, no baby, it’s okay, don’t cry over it.” He smiled, a soft, gentle smile as he saw the tears welling in your eyes. 

“But you’re not with your family.” 

“But I’m with a very special beautiful girl instead.” He smiled again, wiping the stray tear that fell. 

It was like a magnetic force pulling you into Quinn, leaning in subconsciously until he pressed his lips against yours. Feeling your body melt into his, his arms around your waist, holding you against him. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you.” Quinn whispered against your lips. 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Had to wait to get it right.” He grinned kissing you again. 

“Anyone seen Qu- Nevemind.” Tito’s words cutting off, wandering into the hallway. “I came to give you this,” He said, giving Quinn a small box as you hid your face in his chest. “Please don’t mind me, return to whatever I interrupted.” He laughed when he walked away, making you groan and lean further into Quinn. 

“Oh no, I didn’t get you a present.” The realization hit you as Tito walked away, leaving you staring at the box he handed Quinn. 

“I think you being my girl now is the best present ever.” Quinn smiled, his hand pressed into the small of your back as he turned, pressing you against the wall. 

“Yeah? So I’m your girl now?” 

“If you want to be.” 

“I want to be.”

#mads' writing! #quinn hughes #nhl imagine #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes imagine #hughes brothers #nhl one shot

[delayed-affection]

can you write something about the reader having a bad and trevor or jack making them feel better

Here with me

Navigation Oneshots

Trevor Zegras x reader

A/n: I went with Trevor, I hope you enjoy!🤍

Warnings: like two bad words, pet name (baby, babe)

Word count: 2.1k

Waking up today you thought it would be a good. You were able to FaceTime Trevor before he left for practice, got to work on time, and they supplied you guys with breakfast.

Then the day started to go down, someone spilt their coffee on you and tried to blame you for it. With no change of clothes and no time to go home until lunch you walked around wet and smelling of coffee.

Then when you were on lunch you got a flat tire, so you had to pull over on the side of the road to change it. Dirtying your clothes even more and having random people drive up to asking you if you were okay was quite embarrassing.

You barely made it home and back to work on time. Hoping that the day will pick up and nothing else happens.

Only for the printer to jam up on you before your meeting, you’re friend texting you canceling your plans for tonight, your know it all coworker trying to tell you that you’re doing your job wrong, and it started to pouring rain on your way out.

So you once again you are in wet clothes but more upset than you were before. The only good thing left about today is that you don’t have any classes or homework to worry about.

When you got home you decided to take a quick shower, texting Trevor asking him if it’s okay that you come over.

Getting out you toss on some some of his clothes that he left over. You grab your phone to see that he gave you the go ahead to come over.

~

You knock on his front door for what feels like the millionth time, neither him or Jamie have come to the door. You jiggle the door knob to find out that the door is locked.

You groan letting your head hit the door, of course this would happen.

You call his phone to no avail, so you try Jamie.

He picks up, “Hello?”

“Jamie, hey.” You reply, “Are you and Trevor not home?”

“I’m not.” He states, “But Trevor is… or I thought he was.”

You sigh, “He’s not answering the door or his phone.”

You can hear him stifle a laugh, “So, you’re locked out?”

You run a hand through your hair, “Yeah.”

“Okay, so, by the door there’s a rock, if you flip it over the bottom should slide off and the key should be inside.” He informs

You pick up the rock, “You’re a lifesaver, dryer sheet.”

He chuckles, “Yeah whatever, dipshit.”

You open the door, “Okay I’m in, thank you.”

“No problem.” He says, “And keep the key, I’ll make another one.”

“For real?” You ask

“Yeah, now go make sure Trevor’s not dead.” He tells you, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, Jamie.” You say hanging up the phone.

You close the door behind you and make your way to Trevor’s room. As you get closer you can hear Taylor swift playing along with the faint sound of water and him singing along.

Opening his bedroom door you take off your shoes and lay on his bed, listening to him sing ‘Our Song’.

Even though he’s completely off key it brings a smile to your face. Pulling out your phone you record him singing the rest of the song, it could come in handy for another bad day or even a birthday post.

When he finished the song you decided to mindlessly scrolling through tiktok. You did that for fifteen minutes before you finally hear the water turn off and the music switch from Taylor to Mac Miller.

The bathroom door swings open and out walks Trevor, dripping wet with a towel around his waist.

He jumps at the sight of you on his bed, not expecting you to be there, “Jesus, Baby, when did you get here?”

“I don’t know, like, fifteen? Twenty? Minutes ago.” You answer struggling to keep your eyes on his.

He turns off the music, “So, you- you heard all of that?”

“Yeah, it almost felt like I was at one of her concerts.” You tease

He turns away from you, clearly embarrassed, and goes to grab some clothes.

He goes back to the bathroom with his clothes in hand, “So, how was your day?”

You groan, “ugh, it sucked.”

He quickly comes back out in joggers and a tshirt, “Awe baby I’m sorry.”

He leans over the bed places a soft kiss on your forehead, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head, “No, not really.”

He hums in response, “Here, scoot over.”

You move over allowing him to lay down next to you, you can feel the warmth from the shower radiate off of him.

He pulls you over to him and starts to rub your back, “Well if it makes you feel better, I’m glad you’re here, I missed you.”

“If you missed me why’d you lock the front door?” You ask, “Are you afraid of the boogie man or something?”

He shakes his head and smiles, “What? No! I’d lay out the boogie man and you know it.”

You let out a amused laugh, “Oh, I’m sure you would.”

“Have you seen my guns?” He asks flexing his arm, “These things are killers.”

“Totally…” You say in an unconvinced tone.

He acts offended, bringing his hand to his chest, “Are you doubting me? Do you not believe me?”

“I mean it’s the boogie man.” You reply

He rolls his eyes and huffs, “I’m your boyfriend you’re supposed to believe in me.”

You apologize, “Oh, sorry. What I meant to say is that you could take down anyone. The boogie man wouldn’t stand a chance against you.”

He lets a dry chuckle, “Much better, babe.”

He strokes the side of your face, “Hey, did you eat today?”

“Yeah, did you?” You question

“Mhm.” He answers, “Did you drink any water?”

You let out a dragged, “Yes.”

He looks at you and you watch as his eyes make their way down your body.

He smiles and his eyes meet yours, “You’re wearing my clothes.”

You can feel your face getting hot, “yeah.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Because I felt shitty and me wearing them made me feel better.” You quickly confess

“Oh, baby.” He coos sitting up against the headboard, “Do you still feel that way?”

You move to sit across from him and shrug, “Kind of but you’ve helped a lot.”

He turns his head in confusion, “How? I’ve been talking nonsense since you got here.”

You shrug, “You always talk nonsense.”

“Okay, is it hate on your boyfriend day? First you tell me I can’t defend myself and now you’re telling my I talk nonsense.” He complains

You put your hands up in surrender, “You said it first, I was just agreeing.”

“Well maybe should disagree with me.” He agrues

“But I did and you didn’t like it.” You remind letting yourself fall back onto the bed.

He moves forward to lean over you, his face ever so close to yours.

“You know what I’m going to stop this because I can see that I’m not going to win.” He tells you

He gives you a quick peck to show that he accepts the loss on this one.

You hum in response.

“But you know what I will beat you at?”

“Knowing every word to all to well?” You answer

“Yes but no.” He says getting off the bed, “I’m willing to bet you that I could beat you in Mario Kart.”

“And if you lose?” You question following him out of the room.

“Oh, I’m not losing.” He assures leading you into the living room.

You give him an amused look, “You sound very sure of yourself.”

“Because I am.” He states turning on the switch and tv, “I’m going to hand deliver you an L.”

“Ooh, I’m so scared.” You mock sitting on the couch.

He sits next you and hands you a remote, “You should be, I’m a killer in baby park.”

You takes the remote, a small smile playing on your lips.

"We'll see about that." You challenge, “What do you want if you win?”

He taps his chin acting like he’s thinking of something.

“You’re buying me ice cream.” He states, “And not no McDonald’s McFlurry, I want some fancy shit.”

“What?” You ask, “What’s fancy ice cream?”

“It’s not a McFlurry.” He answers

He acts like the things he says is just common knowledge to everyone else. Like yes a McFlurry isn’t fancy but what would be considered fancy ice cream?

You hold your hand out to him, “Okay, then I want the same thing if I win.”

He takes your hand and shakes it, “Bet. First one to win eight races wins.”

~

Your just started your second lap on Excitebike Arena when you notice Trevor's character zoom by you. But he's going the wrong way.

"Umm... are you aware you're going the wrong way?" You question glancing at his side of the screen.

"You're going the wrong way." He childishly argues finally turning his character around.

He scoots closer to you on the couch, "Did you see that?"

You scrunch your brows together, "What?"

His hand flies over your eyes as he attempts to catch up to you. You move away from and swat away his hand.

"Not cool, bro." You say knowing he doesn't like it when you call him that.

"I'll show what's not cool, bro." he threatens

you're not to far from starting your third lap when he snatches your controller tossing it aside.

“Oh, so we’re cheating?”

~

The more games played the more competitive you two got. It was every man for himself and the two of you were looking for a win.

You were the first to eight wins, smiling brightly as Trevor whines to go again.

You guys were having fun and Trevor would do anything to keep that smile on face.

~

The two of you now sit in some random parking lot in Sherman oaks finishing your ice cream from dolly llamas. After you evidently beat in him in Mario kart 16 to 14.

“I know you let me win.” You state changing the music.

He shrugs you off, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Trevor, you drove the last three races backwards.”

He takes his spoon and swipes some of your ice cream and says, “No I didn’t.”

You give him a look that tells him to be serious.

“Well let’s say… you looked like you needed some ice cream.”

“I would’ve gotten some if I lost.” You reply

He spares you glance but looks back out the window, “Yeah, but you would’ve had to pay and I wasn’t going to let you.”

You lower the music, “So why make the bet?”

He gives you a sympathetic look, “If I’m being honest, you looked like you were done with the world and I wanted to help.”

You nod but don't say anything.

He sets down his cup and grabs your hand.

"Look you said you had a bad day and I had no clue on what to do." He admits, "And whenever I was having a bad day my mom would take me to go get ice cream."

"And Mario kart was something I looked forward to doing with Griffin and Ava after school or after a game." He adds, "So I did what I thought would help."

You turn in your seat to face him, interlocking your fingers with his.

“It did help, baby.” You assure, “I felt like hell before I got to see you.”

"Are you you sure because we could always do something else." He replies, “It’s only six o’clock.”

You shake your head, "No, just being with you is enough. Hell just putting on your clothes made me feel better.”

He squeezes your hand gently, before letting it go. Moving his hand up to your cheek.

You close your eyes and lean into his touch, feeling safe and loved.

"Thank you." You whisper

He leans in kissing you gently.

Pulling back he looks at you with pure love in his eyes.

A goofy smile makes its way on to his face, “I know the best way to end today.”

“And what’s that?” You ask

“A good bowl of cereal and you’re favorite show.” He says in a matter of factly tone.

You shake your head with a laugh, “You really know how to woo a person, Trev.”

He starts up the car, “You can’t tell me some Cookie Crisp wouldn’t hit the spot.”

You put your seatbelt back on and reply, “I don’t know about Cookie Crisp but sure.”

“And you’re back to being a hater.” He sighs making you chuckle.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagines #trevor zegras one shot #trevor zegras x y/n #trevor zegras imagine #nhl imagine #nhl one shot

[drewsbuzzcut]

Vineyard Adventures

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses fic

warnings: steamy, makeouts, touching, mentions of smut related topics, consumption of alcohol, and i think that’s all

You were one full glass and many samples of wine deep into your date with Mat. He had signed the both of you up for a wine tasting and lunch in Tuscany, Italy. He thought it would be a nice opportunity to have a childless date- as your son was with Beverly. It wasn’t something Mat and you could always do when you both had busy schedules and a one year old.

There were different variations of cheese and fruits to pair with all the different wines; it was something you took advantage of, so you could keep yourself from getting tipsy too fast.

You were having such a good time. There were other people taking part in the experience, but it made it better because you got to meet new people. Plus, the weather was perfect. The sun was shining, leaving a dust of pink on your cheeks, and the breeze blew through the air, making everything feel fresh.

The set up was very beautiful. Right now, you were seated at a long table, trying the first round of samples of dry wine and picking which one you wanted to have as your drink. Later, you’d take a group tour of the vineyard before making your way back to the table to have a very large lunch.

As said before, you’re trying to drink slowly, wanting to actually remember this day, and not wanting to come home plastered to a child that you still had to care for. So, you were sipping from your wine glass and talking to a lady sitting across from you. Mat, well he was in awe with you. He listened as you laughed with the people you were talking to, the melodious sound made him melt. Your hair was down and each time the wind blew he could smell your musky perfume. One of your hands was placed in his lap, holding one of his hands. He could feel the vibrations from your laughs, making him feel even more connected to you. Every now and then you’d lean into Mat, and he enjoyed the feel of your silky, sun kissed skin.

“Mat?” You whisper to him, breaking him out of his trance.

You had noticed that he was quiet and off in his own world, so you wanted to make sure he was fine.

“Yeah?” He says, brows frowned in concern that something might be wrong.

You adjust yourself in your chair so that you’re faced more towards him, and lay your palm on his cheek to gain all of his attention.

“You’ve been quiet for a while, just wanted to make sure everything was alright,” you explain.

He just gives you that gorgeous smile that never fails to make you blush, and assures you that everything is fine.

“Are you sure? Is it because I’m talking to other people while we’re technically on a date? Oh my god! I didn’t even realize. I’m sorry; I’m not trying to ignore you,” you blurt out under your breath, only loud enough for Mat to hear.

“No, babe. I promise it’s okay. I’m actually enjoying seeing you talk with the others. I love looking at you like this,” he says with a small chuckle and grin.

“Like what?”

You really didn’t understand how much Mat adored looking at you and just listening to your voice. Of course you knew how much he admired you, but you never really noticed just how much attention he paid to you. You had him hanging on your every word, since the very first time he met you.

“Your personality shining through, willing to let anyone see just how beautiful you are, inside and out,” he whispers in your ear. He had moved his chair even closer to yours, and moved so that he invaded your space.

You tilt your head into his out of shyness of his kind words. He just presses a loving kiss to your pulse point on your neck.

“I love you,” you mutter into the skin of his cheek before staring into his eyes, and moving them to look at his lips.

“I love you,” he says and happily gives you the kiss you wanted.

An hour goes by and you’ve downed almost two more glasses of wine. You’re not drunk, but you’re starting to feel lighter, and your want for Mat grows stronger.

You had to sit in your chair and watch his every movement. The way his nose would crinkle when he’d laugh to the way he draped an arm over your chair, letting his fingertips glide against your shoulder which sent chills throughout your entire body. It got even more unbearable when you’d watch him drink from his wine glass. It doesn’t sound like something sexy, but you knew he wasn’t a big fan of wine like you were, so him planning this date with your interests in mind and him drinking wine with you, was incredibly attractive. It didn’t help that he would lick his lips after every drink he took.

For his amazing efforts, you’d be attending a basketball game with him when the season starts. You will even take him to his favorite restaurant, and just treat him to whatever he wanted because he definitely deserves it.

When it’s time for the group tour to start, you are tipsy. Something you hadn’t been since you had your baby. Mat holds onto your hand a little tighter, always needing to protect you.

At different spots where the tour guide talks about the history of the place, they hand out even more samples of different wines. You couldn’t deny any of them, and when you found your favorite of the bunch, you were given a glass full. You did share your first glass with Mat, though. The second glass was all yours, so by the time you were almost done with the tour, you were a little passed tipsy. You knew how told hold your alcohol, but this was meant to be relaxing for you, so you let yourself indulge.

“Maty,” you sigh out as you grip Mat’s bicep.

“Yeah, baby?” He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear and it makes you swoon.

You giggle, momentarily forgetting what you wanted to ask him. You have to think for a couple of minutes before it finally comes back to you.

“Is this thing almost finished?” You whisper into his ear.

“Umm… I’m not sure, why?” He asks.

“Kiss me,” you don’t give him time to respond, you just simply stand in front of him and lean into his body, attaching your lips to his. You’re both so caught up, you don’t even care that you’re now separated from the group.

Mat comes to his senses and separates from you, causing you to pout.

His hands that were on your waist are now holding onto your hands. He looks around behind you and then behind himself. You want to ask what he was doing, but before you get the chance to, he’s guiding you to an empty, dim lit hallway. You smirk in response and follow him willingly.

“Maty,” you whisper into the silence. The silence that was way too loud, filled with the buzzing lust lurking in every corner of your bodies.

He pulls you flush against him, one hand gripping your hip and the other holding the back of your neck. Both of your hands are pressed against his torso, relishing in the feeling of his rock hard muscles tensing under your touch.

You stare at each other for a while, imagining what you both could be doing if you were behind closed doors, and on a comfortable bed. You know that his head would be buried between your legs, eating you out until you were a squirming mess. You squeeze your thighs together at the thought and that catches Mat’s attention. He dips his head down, secretly trying to hide his smirk, and drags his nose along the side of your neck all the way down to your collarbones, smelling your musky perfume that you always use. He didn’t care that the halter neck of your dress made it a little more difficult.

“Oh you think your slick, huh, hotshot?” You ask, feeling his not so well hidden smirk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mat answers.

When you start to reply, he’s already pressing kisses all over your neck, causing the words to die on your tongue.

You bring your hands to his back, wanting so badly to rip his shirt off. For now you just let your hands grip the material tightly.

Mat feels your nails trying not to dig in his skin, so he decides to tempt you even more. Both hands travel down the length of your silky, pink dress and continue down to your smooth legs. The feeling of his rough hands softly traveling down your body makes you hot, desire flowing through your veins and settling in your core. You lift a leg up and set it on Mat’s waist as a way to bring him even closer to you.

For a moment you both just stay still. You look into each other’s eyes and just float in the warmth and want that’s taken over. Mat brings a hand up to caress your cheek, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip. His eyes move lower, watching your chest move with every erratic breath you take. You love being the center of his attention, so you wait for the perfect moment to suck on his thumb, and when you do, his eyes are flashing to yours. Your tongue wraps around his digit and you make sure to make a show of sucking it, small moans and hums falling from your mouth. When he pulls his finger out of your mouth, he’s quick to crash his lips on yours, sucking on your bottom lip.

Mat moves you further down the hallway where there’s barely any light. It’s filled with boxes and might be dusty, but none of you cared enough to leave.

The lip lock gets sloppier and rougher. You wouldn’t be surprised if there would be bruises on your lips afterwards.

“Maty,” you whine when he moves away.

“Look at what I found,” he says, showing you a bottle of wine that you had no idea where he got it.

The label reads “Capezzana: Vin Santo Di Carmignano Riserva.” You had never heard of it before, and it wasn’t one of the sample you had earlier.

Mat opens the bottle, as it had already been opened, and brings the bottle to your lips.

You allow him to pour some in your mouth, and you have to restrain yourself from taking your clothes off and letting him have his way with you. The look in his eyes was dark and so sexy.

After your small drink, Mat sets the bottle down and kisses you again.

“Fuck,” Mat whines at the sweet taste left on your tongue. It’s so good he can’t resist the chance of sucking on your tongue when his lips are back on yours.

Your hands abandoned his neck and are now satisfied with being buried in his hair, pulling on the soft strands.

“What has gotten into you?” You ask.

“You’re so sexy and just seeing you enjoy yourself after the stressful year you’ve had; I love seeing you happy,” Mat whispers.

You pout and become a puddle of mush at his sweet words. You were so appreciative of how much Mat had stepped up- especially with a busy hockey season. He was the best father, after all the fears he had, and he was the best partner you could ask for.

“How about you, hotshot? You’re sexy, drinking wine with me even though you hate it,” you speak into his lips.

Mat’s hold on your waist tightens and he buries his head in your neck. He sometimes got shy whenever you would compliment him with sincerity. His hands travel up your back, stopping just below your shoulder blades. It was his quiet way of making the moment sweet.

You slot your lips with his, savoring the way this kiss was softer, slower, but just as intimate as the others shared. Once the kiss turns into pecks, he presses them from your jaw to your cheek, making you giggle.

“We should probably head back,” he tells you.

“If we must,” you groan out.

He leads you back to the table, hand in hand, your hair looking a bit disheveled and your lips plump from all the kissing. You have to keep yourself from looking into the eyes of all the others. They didn’t need to know what just happened, and you didn’t want to think about the looks you were probably getting.

“Nice of you all to join us,” the tour guide says as we sit in our seats.

Mat smirks and I just smile and nod. Hopefully no one would post about it online, not that they really knew what happened.

Mat and you get through lunch with only little embarrassment from the knowing looks you both were getting, but besides that, everything was lovely. You continued to chat and laugh, and even allowed yourself to practically sit on Mat’s lap for most of it. You didn’t need to care about what the others were thinking.

Mat even surprised you when he flagged down one of the servers to request something.

“Can we each have a glass of Vin Santo Di Carmignano Riserva, please?”

You look at him surprised, not expecting him to ask for that certain wine. When you make eye contact with him, he shoots you a wink and a small smirk, making your heart pound faster, wanting to escape into his hands. He always knows how to make you feel giddy.

“I would actually like to buy two bottles,” Mat says when the wine was brought out to the both of you. You just let out a laugh and pull him away from his conversation to give him a loving kiss. You loved your man so much.

a/n: This part is set in the future bc if you noticed, I mentioned that they have a one year old, so say 4 years into the relationship. I hope you all enjoy!!!

#mat barzal #mat barzal blurb #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal smut #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl smut #nhl fanfiction #nhl one shot #new york islanders #visceral in doses

[equallyshaw]

this time, next year - with luke hughes

Warnings: nothing.

Word Count: 2.6k +

← day six. surprise finale. →

────────────

you two had met when he came out to visit jack before the season started after he graduated from highschool. you had also just graduated, and was in new york with your best friend, her mom and your's for your present. you two had been walking into the coffee bar at the hotel in manhattan when you guys bumped into one another. you nearly fell on your butt, but the strong, tall and lanky dude instantly out of reflex, grabbed your arm before you lost your balance. your best friend sasha, stood to your side and gawked. who was this cutie and how did he do that so fast? jack and quinn were with him, and smiled at their younger brother was instantly smitten. throughout both of their stays, they met up a ton at the hotel pool and restaurant with their family that they were with. you revealed that you'd be coming to new jersey in the fall to study Exercise Science and Kinesiology just like luke would be at the U of M. the two of you immediatley clicked, exchanging numbers and social media accounts. then your trip was over, before their's and you made your way back to boston where you and your best friend was from.

fast forward to christmas 2022, two years after they began to date long distance. you would drive or take the train to meet him at away games with sasha and your other friends. you two would meet up in michigan, new york, boston or the hughes lake house for various breaks; before the lake house was sold. you brought out the very best in luke, and vice versa. you brought him out of his comfort zone, no longer the shy hughes boy around people. the two of you were very smitten with one another but these past few months after the last time you saw one another in late august; was difficult. the two of you constantly bickering, going days without texting or facetiming. using academics, prior commitments and other things as different excuses. everything was just 'off'. both of your friend groups together and just as themselves, realized that you two were going through a rough patch. they knew you two loved one another, but it just all became too much all of a sudden. nothing was working, and collectively the friend group agreed - without telling the couple - that they thought they should take a break. they needed one, and at the very least they'd realize if they truly wanted to make the relationship work or not. hoping that this break, could solitidify the relationship and help them realize if they wanted to fight or not. because recently, they were exhausted and frankly over it.

you were in michigan at the hughes house in canton, one day before luke would be leaving, before he was heading off to nova scotia for iihf world jrs. you two were in the car, after getting dunkin and had just gotten into another argument. it was stupid and so blown out of proportion. but you two, knew that this dynamic was not working anymore. you two were oh so done with it, exhausted from fighting, exhausted from not coming to compromises or agreemants. for the first time since things started to go downhill, you were done. you looked at luke as you two sat in the drive way of his house. his hands finally unclasped the steering wheel, his knuckles no longer crimson white. you pulled some hair behind your ear and sighed, alerting luke. tears pooled your eyes as you looked over at him, and just by that expression; he knew. "i ca-can't keep doing this luke. i can't keep dreading every conversation we have, because i fear that it will just turn into an argument. i can't keep going back and fourth over nothing. i can't keep going days without hearing from you, and thinking that we are done. that you are just going to slip silently out of my life. i can't keep hoping for something that doesn't amount to anything." you sobbed, both of your hearts breaking.

luke sat their silently, looked down at his hands and stared. he couldn't look at you without crying. "i can't sleep, i can barely eat, ive been constantly getting sick the past few months. i i just am done, luke. im sorry." you confessed hunching over covering your face, and crying. your sobs broke his heart, and nodded in understanding. luke placed a hand on your back, rubbing it up and down, trying to comfort you. and then in a split second, you were in his arms as you both cried. you knew this was the end for the time being, for the near future. "i wanna say that there is hope for us but everday i wake up and don't feel hopeful anymore. and i can no longer force it." luke started, "i don't know if i can anymore. trying to force something that isn't their anymore. i love you so much y/n but i think we need some space for awhile. especially with me leaving after the season, i think it's time we step back for a bit." luke explained, and you nodded. you agreed wholeheartedly. the following few hours were spent in securing a last minute flight, now that you were no longer traveling to nova scotia with his parents. you were leaving that evening for boston, and soon enough you were at the airport.

you sat next tp luke as the two of you said your goodbyes, atleast for a year. luke much to his dismay, agreed that it would be best to wait until he was in new jersey full time to continue your relationship. he placed his hands gently on your face, "i love you so much y/n but am prepared to let you go, ok? i cant promise our future or your future, i can't say that we will be together in a year but please don't wait for me. please try to move on in some way, and i will try to do the same." luke said with tears streaming down his cheeks. you nodded, wiping your own. "i will, i promise." you said as your voice cracked, breaking both of your hearts. "i love you lukey i love you so much." you said before kissing with much passion and sorrow. you two pulled apart, resting eachothers forheads against one another's for a few seconds before you pulled apart. you sniffled, wiping your nose and hopped out. luke sat their looking out through the windshield, as you grabbed your suitcases and carry on. he watched as your dropped your bags off at the baggage check. that was the last time for a year, he'd be seeing you. it took him a minute and a traffic guy to yell at him through the window for him to drive off. he no longer saw your hair, or your bags. knowing you were gone from his life for the time being.

this time, next year - hopefully.

luke's first season in new jersey.

your family was staying at soho house in new york city, a 30 minute drive from newark where the hughes brother lived. your family was celebrating this year in new york, something the family hadn't done for years. there was something special about christmas in new york, especially when you had somebody to share it with. you smiled up at harrison her boyfriend of 8 months. his family being natives of the city, invited them over for christmas eve once they heard their plans to spend the week in nyc. harrison and her were currently in front of macys storefront, looking at the christmas windows and walking all over manhattan. popping in to different stores, all over downtown new york. they walked into ralphs coffee after walking from saks fifth avenue, down the street. they were standing in line to place their order as luke noticed a familiar laugh in the cafe. he instantly began to look around, and at long last, his eyes laid on you. jack finally caught on to where he was staring, and saw you. his eyes went wide, hitting luke in the chest. "ow, what was that for?" luke demanded shooting a glare at his older brother. "its y/n!!!" jack said freaking out, which luke rolled his eyes. "she's not alone." jack added quickly, and the family that included ellen, jim and quinn looked over at the same time. you felt eyes on you, looked past harrison and saw the family that you once though of as your own. your breath stalled in your chest, before you looked at harrison and shifted a bit, so he was now blocking you from their view.

you took ahold of harrison's hand, leaned up and pecked him. he smiled, wrapping his arms around your lower back, placed a quick kiss on your head before releasing you from his arms. "should we head over to the hotel next?" you questioned, and he nodded. you two ordered your usuals, and then moved over to look at merchandise waiting for your coffee. thankfully the coffee shop was next to the parking garage that you two had parked in and so it gave you a few minutes to linger in ralph lauren before harrison pulled the car up. you were looking at men's suit ties, hoping to find one last gift for harrison. you felt a familiar presence near you, and you looked up and jack and luke in the next aisle whispering rapidly. you sighed, walking off into another section hoping they would not follow. "y/n?" you heard luke from beside you. you looked up from the men's accessories, and took in all 6'2 of him. you swallowed nervously, before looking away. you adjusted your purse and bags, before feeling your phone ding with a text from harrison. "wait, y/n!" luke said as you were about to walk off. you stopped instantly, and slowly turned around to luke. you said a silent plea in his eyes, and you nodded already knowing what he was gonna say or ask. "little owl, tonight, 7:30 pm." was all you said before walking off.

once you got in the car, harrison grabbed your hand and put them in the middle console, and you smiled softly as you drove off towards the hotel.

it was now 7:30 pm, and you had just sat down and waited for luke. luke appeared in the small pub style restaurant and looked for you. he found you and made his way over. you stood up and he leaned over and hugged you. you didn't realized how much you missed the familiar wamrth, scent and now much stronger arms. he sat down across from you, and the waitress came up and asked for drink orders. you two ordered your usuals and a charcuterie board. you both felt comfortable right off the bat again, like it was only yesterday you two had been together. "how's school?" he questioned as you skimmed the menu, you looked up catching his eye. you looked back at the menu, blushing. "its good, going to be graduating early this year." you admitted and luke smiled. "you always were a smart cookie." he grinned, and you smiled. "yeah, uh thanks." you said shyly. "hows the season going?" you questioned, sipping the arnold palmer that was set down. he smiled widely, "its going great. awesome, really. having jack there has been amazing too." he said and you could feel the immesnse love and passion for his game, just by him being there. it was his aura, that lit up brighter than last time you saw him. "good good. " you smiled. luke cut right to the chase, "you moved on right? thats your boyfriend?" he asked. you nodded, anxiety rising. "yeah..harrison. he goes to nyu and is a finance major. we've been dating since april." you confessed. luke nodded looking down, "but i- i haven't fully moved on luke." you added and luke looked up with hope seaping through his eyes. "at the beginning he knew that he was simply a distraction a rebound, but obviously things have changed. things are different." you paused sipping your drink, "but that doesnt really change things." you sighed. luke felt hopeful. "have you moved on?" you questioned and he shook his head. you nodded, feeling like an ass. "dont feel bad, i just didnt meet anybody that i wanted to pursue something with." he now paused sipping his drink, "because i didnt want to move on from you and what we had. i haven't stopped loving you." he said place his hand near yours, and you looked down at it. in a split second, you took ahold of his. "i haven't either." you two said both now, on the brink of crying. "i havent moved on, i cant. i dont want to." you said sniffling. thankgod for this low lighting, making this moment a bit more intimate.

3rd pov.

the two spent the evening catching up, planning for when she could come visit newark and getting the families together for christmas. now she just needed to break up with harrison and that terrified her. luke pulled up to harrison's apartment in west village, and you sighed with nerves radiating through your body. "ill be here okay?" he confirmed and she nodded, and he gave her one last hang squeeze before she got out. she nodded and got out, and walked out towards the front door of the building.

she now stood face to face with harrison, knowing she lied to him. he had ended up in the same restaurant as her family and they thought that she was with him and vice versa. that's when her sister realized the promise from last christmas, and she said something along the lines of potentially meeting up with luke. "don't lie to me y/n." harisson demanded and she shuddered. she then shrugged, "its true. i did see my ex or i guess my boyfriend. i guess we really never broke up for good...." the girl trailed off mumbling to herself. "listen, dont even try to explain yourself or defend. just leave, ill send you stuff to your apartment." harrison said, leaving the room. she swallowed, making her way out of the apartment. and never looked back.

she and luke walked hand in hand in downtown westfield, which was 30 minutes outside of newark. luke and jack had found this area when looking for coffee one day and had come back during the fall. it was christmas morning and the two were heading to go find some coffee, before heading back to newark where his family plus hers would be celebrating the holiday. once the families had realized the two were back together; they without hesitant got together for christmas eve dinner, and caught up like old times. the two of them clearly smitten, and in their own world at dinner. it was like things had never changed

the two of them walked out the coffee shop hand in hand, as light snow began to fall. the young girl smiled up at the sky and swung their hands. luke smiled down at her, she was giddy as a kid. y/n looked at him and the two of them stopped, got closer so they were now chest to chest. "i love you lukey."she smiled inching her face closer to his. he smirked, "i love you too y/n/n." he stated placing his lips on hers. she smiled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him, and spun her around. her giggling was intoxicating.

•

@lhughes_6: hanukah came late this year, but the wait was worth it 🙏🏻

Location: sohonewyork

Tag: y/username

45.9k likes, comments disabled.

|||

@y/username: happy holidays from me and mine. 🤍

Tag: @lhughes_6

2.9k likes, commenrs disabled.

—

hope you guys enjoyed !!!!!

RANDOM tag: @jayda12 , @huggybug , @hugheshugs @mack-samo and @sillingers

#Luke hughes #Luke hughes x reader #nhl #hockey #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #Luke hughes imagine #Luke hughes one shot #New Jersey devils #Umich hockey #jack hughes #Quinn hughes #holidays with equallyshaw

[pastrnaks-sainz]

Finals

Pairing: Jeremy Swayman x female!reader

Type: Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, copious amounts of coffee consumption

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: College finals. Everyone's favorite time of year. You were stressed out of your mind trying to get everything done in time. As a politics major a lot of your finals were papers on case studies, but every paper you needed to write for said finals were at least ten pages long. Four classes equals about forty pages. It would have been safe to say you were a regular in the library.

A/N: this is purely bc i'm going through finals rn and i want to die

~~~~

If there was one thing the University of Maine was really good about it was making sure its students had enough outlets for finals related stress. There were therapy dogs in the main study spots on campus, all the cafes were open pretty much 24/7, and school counselors were having walk in sessions available pretty much every day.

At first you had been taking advantage of all the things UMaine was offering. A good chunk of your time was spent sitting on the floor with one of the therapy dogs in your lap while you spaced out and thought about all the productive things you could have been doing with your time. But having a puppy choose you to fall asleep on was far more important than the introduction to your International Law research paper.

The days were starting to tick closer and closer to your due date, however. And that research paper about trade policies between Zimbabwe and South Africa was starting to drive you crazy. You had been a regular in the library throughout the duration of the semester, never really leaving your table in the corner by the window. There were just days left before the deadline and you were only just now hitting the five page mark.

Your brain had a limit, though, for how much it could get done in one day. And you were rapidly approaching your limit. You had gotten a good chunk of the paper done, having completed the background information and recent history of the relationship between the two countries. All that was left was presenting potential steps the countries could take to ensure trade continued and what solution you thought was best. Realistically you only had maybe a day's worth of work left on it. But you were determined to get it done.

International Law had been one of your favorite classes. The professor was awesome and you genuinely enjoyed the material. The problem with it was that the professor had seriously underestimated just how much work was needed in order to put forth a quality research paper. Most of the work was done and all you needed to do was get final thoughts down, but your brain was at capacity.

Your back cracked as you leaned against the back of your chair and stretched. Getting the muscles in your body moving after spending the majority of your day parked in front of your laptop felt good. And it must have sounded good too in order for the guy sitting a little further down the table from you to say something.

"That sounded like it felt good," he said, looking up from the mess of papers surrounding him. You pulled out an earbud and laughed, somewhat thankful to have a small break in the form of conversation. It was finals week, after all, you were limited in human contact.

"It did," you replied with a smile. You looked over at his things, trying to see what he was working on. "What're you here for?"

"Oh just chemistry," he answered. "I was always good at it in high school but I don't know. It's a lot trickier now."

"College has a habit of doing that," you laughed. "I loved math in high school but now I can't stand it."

"Felt that one," he laughed. "I'm Jeremy."

"Y/N," you said, smiling softly. There was a beat between you before you spoke up again. "Wanna take a break? I've been here since eight and I could really use some food."

"Food sounds so good right now," Jeremy hummed. He paused before starting to pack up his things. "Absolutely. I need a break so bad."

"Let's go to the coffee shop," you said as you flipped your laptop closed. "Mm one of those grilled cheese sandwiches is calling my name right now."

"Oh that sounds good," Jeremy agreed as he stood up. You pushed your chair in and fell into step beside him on your way out of the library. December in Maine was no fun, making you thankful that the coffee shop was right across the street.

You ordered your food and snagged a table right by the window as you waited for Jeremy. He joined you a few minutes later, buzzer in hand. His jacket flipped open as he sat down across from you, displaying his University of Maine Hockey sweatshirt.

"You on the hockey team?" you asked, pointing to his hoodie. Jeremy looked down and nodded.

"Yeah," he answered with a small smile. "I play goalie."

"That's so cool," you said genuinely. "I love hockey. I have all my hard classes this semester so I haven't been able to get out to any games."

"Oh you have to come to some when we get back from break," Jeremy said. "Our first game back is against Boston College. It'll be a good one."

"I might just have to make it out," you smiled. Your buzzer went off before he could answer. You went up to the counter to get your food, smiling to yourself.

You got back to the table just as Jeremy's buzzer went off. He shot you a grin and a wink before standing up to get his food.

"Oh this looks so good," he said as he got back and opened the box. You hummed your agreement, hungrily looking at your own sandwich. The coffee shop has always had the best food.

"So where are you from?" you asked the obligatory question just as Jeremy took a bite of one of his fries. You laughed at his expression. "Sorry."

"It's no problem," he said, swallowing the food. "I'm from Alaska. Anchorage."

"Wow," you said, genuinely interested in him. "That's actually super neat. I've always wanted to go to Alaska, it looks so pretty."

"Oh it's stunning," Jeremy said. You could see how excited he got to talk about his home. He told you story after story about growing up and playing hockey in Alaska as you ate your lunch. Well, at this point it was more like an early dinner. But that was beside the point. The point here was listening to your new friend talk about where he came from.

"That's really interesting," you smiled.

"I think I talked for like an hour," Jeremy laughed. "Tell me about you. Where are you from, what are you doing for break?"

You took your turn, telling him about your hometown and your family. What you used to do as a kid. You didn't think it was anywhere near as interesting as his childhood but he seemed so interested in what you were saying. He would even interject occasionally to ask questions. Especially when you started talking about your holiday traditions.

When you left the library with him you had every intention of going back and getting more work done. You did not expect to be getting back to your dorm long after nine and spending the entirety of your day with him. You weren't going to complain, though. He had been good company and he had successfully taken your mind off of a lot of the stress you had been under.

Over the remaining days in the semester you spent a lot of your time with Jeremy. You would sit at a table in the library together and do your work. He would be going over his chemistry study sets while you chipped away at your research papers. While you thought working with him would be an even bigger distraction you got all four papers turned in before their deadlines, meaning you were going to get to go home a few days ahead of when you originally thought you were going to. Jeremy was still stuck on campus for a few more days as he waited for his exams. You wished him luck your last day on campus before heading home.

There was so much time on your hands during break you almost didn't know what to do with yourself. You ended up spending most of your days with your high school friends, catching up with them and filling them in on everything that had happened since you saw them last at Thanksgiving. Jeremy was the main topic. They wanted to know everything about him; what he was like, whether or not he was funny, what his major was, and they especially wanted to know about the hockey team.

Things weren't much different with your family. When you mentioned him offhandedly at a gathering at your aunt's house he was all your aunts and cousins wanted to talk about. They asked you the same questions your friends had asked you. And then some.

"Is he handsome?" your aunt asked. Your face warmed up to the point you were almost sure you were glowing. Your aunt took your silence as a definitive answer. "He is! And she has a crush on him!"

"I do not! He's a good friend, that's all," you rebutted. Your aunt just smirked into her wine glass.

After spending the evening dodging questions about Jeremy you couldn't wait to get back to campus. And it was fitting that the first person you saw after getting settled again was Jeremy.

"Hey!" he called, walking over to you.

"Hi!" you responded, smiling up at him. Your aunt's words crept back into your mind as you fell into step beside each other. You were sure you didn't have a crush on him when you left for break but as Jeremy's hand brushed against yours you began to question yourself.

"How was your break?" he asked, making no effort to put his hands in his pockets.

"It was nice," you answered, trying to stay as vague as possible. "Glad to be back though."

"Same," he sighed and looked around. "So I'm not sure if I'm going to be back next year."

"What?" you stopped dead in your tracks as your stomach fell. "Why not?"

"I might have signed an entry level contract with the Bruins over break," he said as he kept walking. Your jaw dropped.

"Excuse me!" you called, jogging to catch up with him and almost eating shit on the ice. He caught you by the elbow and steadied you on your feet. "Jeremy, that's amazing! Congratulations!"

"Thank you," he was grinning ear to ear. "But before I worry about it we have a game to play tonight. You're still coming, right?"

"Jeremy I wouldn't miss it for the world," you answered.

Your roommate went with you to the game, wanting to catch a glimpse of the guy you would not shut up about. You were sitting in the student section, right behind the goal a few rows back. You were close enough that Jeremy could see you if he knew where to look. And he found you almost instantly.

He played one of his best games that night, stopping everything that came near him. Boston College had a rough time with him and it held throughout the game. The final score was 3-0, Jeremy getting his first shutout of the year. You were tempted to just go back to your dorm and shoot him a text but your roommate insisted you stay and meet up with him.

"Y/N," Jeremy said, a smile spreading across his face as he realized you had waited for him.

"Hey," you grinned, pushing yourself off the wall you'd been leaning against. "You played a hell of a game."

"Ah, it's because I knew I had you watching me," he replied. Your face heated up again and you ducked your head. "Oh come on, it's cute when you're embarrassed."

"Jer," you laughed, fighting yourself as you looked up at him. Jeremy pulled you into a quick hug, leaving your body aflame.

"You know you're the only person allowed to call me that, right?" he asked, taking a step back. You looked up at him in surprise. He nodded before talking again. "Oh yeah, I've never let anyone call me that. It's usually just 'Jeremy' or 'Sway'. Sounds right when it comes from you, though."

He was flirting with you. That much was obvious.

"The highest of honors," you flirted back, complete with a gentle jab to his ribs. He laughed and slung an arm around your shoulders, holding you close to his side.

"You're cute," he said. "We should go out sometime."

"You asking me out on a date, Sway?" you asked, deliberately using his nickname.

"I guess I am," he responded as you began to walk out of the rink together. "You saying yes?"

"I guess I am," you answered, smiling up at him as you subconsciously shrunk into his side to escape the cold of a Maine January.

"I'll see you tomorrow night then," he smirked. "Coffee shop at seven. Don't be late."

Despite the fact that you didn't outright tell your roommate that you were going on a date with Jeremy she had gathered it. To be fair it was obvious between the smile you were wearing when you got back to the dorm and how long you were taking to get ready the next night. She didn't say anything aside from the usual 'be careful' and 'let me know if you need me to bail you out'.

You didn't plan on needing an emergency exit, though. Jeremy was waiting for you at the same table you'd sat at after studying for finals together last semester. He was drumming his fingers against the table and watching the door for you.

"Y/N," he grinned, standing up as you walked over. He hugged you, the contact lingering for a little bit longer than it probably should have. You weren't about to complain, though. "I ordered food for us. Same as what we got when we met."

"You remembered," you said, smiling as you sat down.

"Of course I did," Jeremy said. "I'm more than just a pretty face, you know."

"Hmm," you hummed as you took a bite of your fry. "I might need a little convincing on that one."

"That so?" Jeremy grinned, raising an eyebrow. You just shrugged. "Well then. What can I do to convince you?"

"Not sure," you teased before an idea popped into your mind. "A kiss might do it."

"Will it now?" Jeremy smirked. You nodded, fully not expecting him to actually follow through with it.

The sound of his chair scraping against the tiled floor sent your body on full alert. Your senses were overcome with his scent as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. They were chapped and warm and he tasted like... like something familiar. You couldn't quite put your finger on it but from here on out you were going to equate it to him.

"You convinced yet?" he asked gruffly as he pulled away.

"Not sure," you teased again. "I might need another one to make up my mind."

"Oh I can definitely make that happen."

#jeremy swayman x reader #x reader #nhl x female reader #jeremy swayman x female reader #nhl x reader #fluff #jeremy swayman fluff #nhl fluff #imagine #jeremy swayman imagine #nhl imagine #one shot #nhl one shot #jeremy swayman one shot #hockey fluff #hockey oneshot #hockey imagine

[raysofcrosby]

you are in love – m. tkachuk

warning(s): fluff, small angst, insinuation of smut ((barely)) and sadness<333

inspired by: you are in love by taylor swift w a lil twist<33

word count: 33,031

an: hi ya i’ve been MIA on the writing scene for a bit bc just a general plateau of inspiration but oh lookey here, what’s this??? a new fic??? buckle up besties bc i wrote this in literally four hours and crying about 80% of the time bc i was deep in my feels for over a day when i wrote it, so it’s not edited, probs wont even make any sense either but ya enjoy cool!!! also if it doesn't make any sense thats bc a lot of this was edited from what the original version was and i had to add a bunch of filler shit to make it a hockey fic vs just my personal way of letting my emotions out. so again, don't mind it, enjoy the fic, blah blah blah okay bye<333. ((an 2.0: p.s. i wrote this way before ratty's trade, but added it in the end so if the timeline doesn't add up don't attack pls bc like i said...tons of filler was added)) *italics indicate flashbacks*

You never realize how much stuff can fill a one bedroom apartment until the fifth trip to the store to buy more moving boxes because you seriously underestimated just how much you owned. That could arguably be one of the top three worst things when it comes to moving, tied with actually having to pack your stuff and shifting through what to keep and what to give away.

Luckily, Riley had all the time in the world seeing as she had no responsibilities aside from doing exactly what she was doing in this moment- packing up everything and anything she owned and managed to shove into her 744 square foot apartment she’d called home for the last two years. A mixture of memories brought from home and collected during her time here were all over the apartment, and now in a week's time, they needed to be shoved into multiple moving boxes labeled properly so she wouldn’t be going on a wild goose chase when it came to unpacking them again.

Unluckily, she was also the type of person who found herself easily distracted whenever she came across something that she’d either forgotten she’d owned altogether, or that she’d remember misplacing at one point in time and just never found. A coffee mug, and part gag gift that had “don’t speak” on it from her dad who always jokes that she’s unable and not willing to have a conversation before drinking at least half a cup of coffee– it was buried in the middle back of her cabinet with her other mugs. A swear word coloring book meant for her sister that had somehow slipped behind her bedside table. The journal her mom had gifted her her first Christmas into her masters courses when she’d mentioned how she thought about starting journaling every day as one of her New Year's resolutions.

Riley couldn’t remember the last time she had written in it, though she knew she’d kept the habit up for at least a minimum of the entirety of January, so she flipped open the journal, watching the blank pages brush by until she saw the black ink of the pen she’d always used to write in it. And in the top right corner, was the date of her last entry– March 11th.

She didn’t need to read the entry to remember what she’d written in it…but she was already here, with the journal wide open in her hands…what could it hurt to relive the memory she’d written down on that day?

“Hey, so Jacob and Bren have got pretty much everything packed up in the pod,” Claire said, walking into the now empty apartment and stopping by the bar of the kitchen island where Riley had been leaning. “Are you ready to lock it up or is there some stuff you still need to add?”

Riley looked up from the journal, shutting the hardcover journal– the front of it decorated in pink watercolor pastel and a small bouquet of yellow flowers with the phrase “through sun and rain, flowers bloom all the same” written in black cursive, the pink marking ribbon hanging outside of the lined pages instead of marking where she’d last left off like it was supposed to be.

“Um no, no,” she replied, glancing up from the journal and shaking her head as she placed the journal into the box on the counter next to her, folding the flaps properly and locking them in each other before sliding it off of the counter and holding it in her arms. “Just this box here, but I’ve got it.”

Claire nodded and turned to face what had previously been a homey living room, but was now just an empty room full of potential possibilities. “It feels weird to see this place empty again since I still remember Jacob and I helping you move in with Bren, mom and dad two years ago. I guess it’s a little sad too,” she looked at Riley, nudging her with her shoulder. “But I guess I’m proud of you for getting this job, though I will miss having you within instant bugging distance of me.”

“Gee, thanks,” Riley replied, stepping away from the counter. “Come on, let’s go put this in the pod so we can lock it up and call the company to pick it up soon.”

“Tell me that means we can get early dinner too, right? I’m absolutely starving.” Claire huffed, grabbing the keys to the apartment off of the counter and following behind Riley as they left the now empty place she once called home.

“We can,” Riley nodded, stopping just outside the door as she watched Claire lock the apartment door before they started moving down the hall and towards the elevator. “But I have one more thing I need to do before that.”

Claire’s eyebrows furrowed for only a split second before she pursed her lips and nodded. “That’s right, yeah we’ll totally make a stop before dinner. And then after that–”

“St. Louis,” Riley sighed, her thumbs rubbing against the cardboard in her hands as she nodded. “Yeah, bright and early, first flight out of here.” 

“Then you’re Boston bound once Mom and Dad get their trips down memory lane in,”  Claire smiled, looking down at her phone and typing.

For a moment as she followed behind Claire, she looked down at the box, seeing her own writing in black sharpie across one of the flabs– “Miscellaneous Junk – Riles’ room” “Did you write this on the box?”

Claire looked over her shoulder as the elevator doors opened and peered at the box, nodding her head. “Yeah, it’s just a bunch of junk from your desk isn’t it? Nothing really important is in there, just your knick knacks and stuff from your drawers.”

‘Nothing really important’ stung her harder than it probably should have because sure, she’d asked Claire to go through her desk and toss whatever was left into one box, but that was before she’d looked in and seen what was in it. Random stickers, concert lanyards, the gag gift of a gift box of glow in the dark condoms Janelle had given her– so many of the things in there fell under the junk title Claire had given the box…the ‘nothing really important’ category. But not that journal…nothing written on those lined pages was junk, everything in that journal mattered to Riley.

It took everything in her not to reach in and grab the journal from inside the box, but she didn’t want to gain her sister’s attention or want her interest to be piqued on what was within the hardcover gift. So instead, she just readjusted her grip onto the box and thought about all the ways she might be able to sneak it out without anyone noticing before they put the box into the pod, which would be shipped off to Boston, hopefully later tonight.

There were only 69 entries in that journal, there should’ve been at least 184, but the way she’d gotten swept up in life every day after March 11th, writing in that journal had slipped to the very back of her mind. But every moment of those 69 entries and the 114 days after that, all the way up to that moment on July 2nd that felt world ending, to today– July 4th…it all mattered.

DAY 12 – JANUARY 12TH, 2022 [ FIRST MEETING ]

“I have absolutely no right to be here right now,” Riley said, tugging on the top of the bodycon dress Claire had managed to squeeze her into for the night. One that was just one size too small but for some Godforsaken reason had seemed to fit her everywhere but her chest, which Claire called a blessing but she called a girl's gone wild moment waiting to happen.

“You have every right to be here,” she replied, keeping her steady pace as her heels clicked against the pavement while simultaneously digging through her small clutch for her lip gloss.

“In what dimension do I have the right to be crashing a girls night out–” Riley quickened her pace, the heels Claire also pressured her to shove her feet into for the night, almost matching her own as they clicked on the sidewalk. “Where all of the girls in question, except for me, have the same exact thing in common?”

“Which is?”

“You know exactly what it is,” she huffed, finally coming up beside her just as the two of them were met with the bouncer of the club, the bearded man who looked like he walked off of the front cover of a bodybuilding magazine, instantly waving them both through. “You’re literally all dating professional athletes…on the same team…teammates, Claire. That’s what you all have in common.”

Claire rolled her eyes, grabbing her hand as they both entered the crowded club floor and leading her in the direction of where most of her friends were. “I think you’re forgetting one thing, you also know someone here because you’re both in the same masters courses.”

“Fine, I have one thing in common with one person out of what? The twenty that are here?”

“And me, or have you all of a sudden forgotten that you’re a twin? Because if you’re still mad about me stealing your book fair money in elementary school, I think you need to see a therapist.”

Riley pulled her hand from hers, tugging up at the top of her dress again. “We’re not even twins. You’re eleven months older than me–”

“Basically making us twins,” Claire replied, pulling her forward as she came to a stop in front of a small set of stairs that led up to multiple booths. “Fourth one down, move it.”

“It’s a wonder how you ever won the friendliest in the entire class your senior year,” Riley said, sending a playful glare over her shoulder. “If only they knew the real you.”

“You’re my sister, you get both my nice side and my ‘if you take my favorite sweater out of my closet one more time without asking I’ll dump water on your head in the middle of the night to wake you up,’ side,” Claire smiled, keeping her hand on the small of Riley’s back and nuding her ahead. “Besides, you won best smile which is odd because you never smile, you old grouch.”

“Finally you two show up!” Meredith, Johnny Gaudreau’s wife, was the first one to spot them as Claire shoved Riley up to the booth where the familiar faces of the girls who were either married to or dating Flames players that Riley had gotten to know so far, were sitting in.

“Yeah, it took everything in me to convince Ri here to come out with us and to at least put a little effort into her appearance,” Claire said, greeting Meredith with a hug before moving along to greet the rest of the girls who were there.

“Ha ha, very funny, but some of us have school–”

“Oh not the school excuse,” Kelsey, the one girl out of all of them who Riley had one thing in common with, seeing they were both pursuing Masters Degrees at the University of Calgary in the Kinesiology program. “I know for a fact that we have nothing due over the weekend, not even until the end of next week. Take a break for once Riley, you’re mastering the classes, no pun intended.” She smiled, giving Riley a hug.

“See Ri?” Claire smiled over her shoulder before plopping down in a spot Meredith and Annica, who was dating Elias Lindholm, had made between them. “Now relax and have fun. You don’t even have to leave the comfort of this booth if you want.”

“Actually,” Riley replied, giving Claire a sarcastic smile. “I think I might just have some fun and wander down to the bar and get a drink.”

“I’ll come with you actually!” Kylie, who was dating Dillon Dube, chimed in, standing up from the seating.

“Me too!” Kelsey added, standing up. “Plus I wanted to tell you what Oscar’s reaction to that paper we had to turn in last week was. I swear his eyes popped out of his head when I asked him to proofread it.”

Riley laughed, walking back out of the booth as the two followed behind her. “Please, I barely understood what I wrote and I even have all the notes from class.”

The three of them maneuvered their way back down the small set of steps and then back into the crowd of the bar, Kelsey grabbing onto Riley’s hand and then presumably Kylie’s so the three wouldn’t lose one another in the crowd as Riley led them over towards the bar. Thanks to being invited along to some events by Claire, Riley knew most of the WAGs on the team, but the only one she was really on a super friendly basis with, was Kelsey. Kelsey who was born and raised in Calgary and had attended the University of Calgary for her undergraduate degree as well and had been dating Oscar for the last near two years.

The two of them, Kelsey and Riley, hadn’t made their Flames connection until Claire asked Riley if she would tag along with her to brunch with a few other girls, Claire also wanting Riley to ‘stop hiding in your room, you’re young, have fun!’ Kelsey was at brunch, recognized Riley from one of their lectures and the friendship just blossomed into study sessions, coffee trips and Kelsey also having Riley tag along to things.

“Unbelievable,” Kelsey laughed once the three of them managed to grab a space at the crowded bar. “All of the bars in the city and they go here? Knowing we were all coming out tonight?”

“What?” Kylie asked, looking at Riley for help but Riley just shrugged.

Kelsey sighed and rolled her eyes before nodding her head off to their left and then pointing. “All the way at the end of the bar.”

Riley and Kylie both looked over in the direction she was pointing, and instantly the two girls knew what and who she was talking about. There at the end of the bar and of course, all together in a big group, were a few players from the Flames. Riley could see Jacob and Dillon at the bar talking to the bartender and off behind him were Sean, Johnny, Oscar and they were sure more that weren’t in their view.

“If you guys tell me what you want, you’re more than welcome to go over there and chew their asses out a little bit,” Riley smiled, leaning against the bar.

“You don’t mind? Because like Kels said…there are so many bars here,” Kylie said, looking off at the boys.

“Not at all,” Riley replied, waving them off. “As long as you give Jacob a little hell from me for not telling my insane sister to leave me alone tonight.”

Kylie squeezed Riley’s arm as she brushed by and nodded. “We’ll be right back, don’t leave the bar without us so we don’t lose you.”

“And if any creeps sneak up, yell pterodactyl.” Kelsey noddeed, nodding her head. “It’ll scare them off.”

“Pterodactyl, got it,” Riley nodded, watching them walk away before turning back towards the bar and then shaking her head. “Pterodactyl? Where the hell did she get that from?”

The bartender walked over to her, nodding at her. “What can I get you?”

Riley opened her mouth to speak, only to realize that Kelsey and Kylie never told her what they wanted to drink…so she went with a classic. “Can I get three vodka cranberries?”

The bartender nodded and turned away to make the drinks, Riley flipped her phone over and grabbed her card from the card holder she insisted Claire let her borrow since she wasn’t carrying a purse and was stuffed into the dress.

“I hope all of those aren’t for you,” Riley heard someone say as the bartender placed two of the drinks down in front of her. “Cause that’s about three rounds I’ll miss out on buying you a drink.”

She looked to her left to see the familiar face of Matthew, one of Jacob’s teammates. A face that she’s seen obviously on ice for the games she’s attended since her sister started dating Jacob, but also at some of the team parties that Claire’s invited her to or made her tag along as her plus one. “That’s assuming I’d take your offer to let you buy me one, let alone three.”

“Ouch, tough crowd,” he replied, holding his right hand to his chest, right over his heart and rubbing against his gray t-shirt.

“Sorry,” Riley dramatically pouted as she shrugged. “Did I bruise your hockey player ego by turning down your horrible pick up line? Like seriously, does that even work?”

He moved away from the corner of the bar and came up beside her, resting his arms against it. “Who said it was a line? Maybe I was really looking forward to buying you a drink. Plus, maybe I was also sent over here to make sure no creeps are creepy towards you. You know the whole plus one, stay together thing.”

The bartender placed the last drink in front of her and Riley quickly handed over her card before looking at him with a shrug. “Looks like you failed your mission.” The bartender placed her card back down onto the bar in front of her, along with a receipt and a pen. Riley quickly scribbled her signature and a tip before sliding it across the bar and putting her card back into her phone and looking at Matthew. “Both missions actually, cause I just bought my own drink.”

Matthew rolled his eyes before looking at the bartender and nodding his head, holding up two fingers– Riley taking that as the opportunity to grab her drinks and head back towards the booth. “Hey!” She turned around to see Matthew leaning against the bar, nodding at her with a smile. “The night’s still young. That’s plenty of time for me to buy you that drink!”

“Not unless you find someone else to entertain your time and horrible pick up lines,” Riley smiled back, nodding her head for him to look behind him as a girl was just getting ready to tap him on the shoulder– her intentions for him very clear. “Just don’t use that buy you a drink one.” Riley winked and turned back towards where she was walking, carefully making her way back over to the booth where Claire and the rest of the girls were.

“Riles!” Claire cheered, holding up her empty shot glass before putting it back onto the table. “Where are Kels and Kylie?”

“You guys have some bar crashers!” Riley replied, placing the drinks that belonged to Kylie and Kelsey down onto the table, then covering them with one of the napkins that came wrapped around the cup. “Some of the guys are here and they went to go talk to them.”

“Ugh! All of the bars for a girls night out and they choose this one?” Meredith complained, rolling her eyes and finishing off her drink, then standing up. “I need another drink.”

Once she made her way out of the booth with another girl following behind, Claire took that opportunity to slide over next to Riley. “Get the sourpuss look off your face, have fun and relax, Ri!”

“I am, I’m having a ball! Lame pick up line, alcoholic drink and all!” Riley replied, leaning towards Claire so she could hear her.

“Pick up line? Who tried to pick you up?!” Claire smiled, practically beaming at the idea of Riley getting some sort of attention in the romance department. “Come up, point them out!”

“It was just one of Jacob’s teammates, it was nothing serious–”

Claire grabbed onto her arm, gripping it as her smile grew bigger. “Who! Who! You need to tell me who it was right now!”

Riley rolled her eyes, still able to see where Matthew was standing at the bar…the girl who Riley had told him about, standing next to him a little close and the two talking. She pointed out towards the bar and looked at Claire. “Him.”

She watched as Claire’s focus moved all across the bar before landing on where Riley had been pointing. Riley waited for a falter in her sister’s expression, but all stayed the same aside from Claire laughing and shaking her head. “Oh, Matthew? He’s harmless! A flirt, but a harmless one.”

“Clearly since he’s already moved on from wanting to buy me a drink and insisting on that he will,” Riley replied, turning her attention away from Matthew and the girl at the bar. “But how about we try not to shove any potential attractive male down my throat?”

“But that’s no–”

“You want me to let loose and have a good time?” Riley asked, sipping on the straw in her drink as Claire nodded. “Okay, then stop trying to pawn me off to any guy who shows a remote sense of interest.”

Claire rolled her eyes and sipped on a lighter drink that Riley knew was probably a margarita. “Did you at least think he was cute? Matthew?”

Riley sighed. “I’m not into that right now Claire, you know this. I’m not looking for–”

“A relationship, or love, or someone who will drag you out of the house on a Friday night so you can’t sit on your couch and watch One Tree Hill at night,” Claire replied, waving a hand at Riley and brushing her off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But appease me just this once…do you think he’s cute?”

Riley looked back over to the bar where she watched Matthew take two beers from the bartender before saying something to the girl and then turning around, leaving her at the bar and walking back towards the group of his teammates. “I mean…yeah, he’s cute–”

“Thank you,” Claire smiled, hugging her sister and then pulling away, clinking her cup against hers. “Now was that too hard?”

“I think I just felt a piece of my soul wither and fall off actually,” Riley smiled, taking another sip of her drink as she looked at her sister.

“Oh stop being an old hag,” Claire laughed, shoving her playfully. “You’re way too young and pretty to be so old and bitter.”

Riley laughed, shaking her head. “You do realize that made no sense, right?”

“What can I say?” Claire smiled, shrugging her shoulders as she took another sip of her drink. “The tequila’s strong.”

DAY 22 – JANUARY 22ND, 2022 [ FIRST "DATE ]

“For the love of everything that is good and holy, why the hell did you and Jacob think tonight would be a great idea for a double date?” Riley sighed, tugging the ends of her thin sweater sleeves over her hands and bunching the material in her fists before crossing her arms. “Hockey games end at an average of what? Ten o’clock? Assuming they don’t go into an overtime and a shootout.”

“Oh hush,” Claire replied, waving her off. “It was an additional half hour, it won’t kill you if you’re not in bed before midnight for one night. Besides, you’re 24 and in the prime of your youth. I think staying out for a night would do you some good.”

“Some of us have homework and class–”

“In two days, Riley. It’s a Saturday night, you have no responsibilities until Monday morning, so stop complaining.” Claire turned away from Riley, looking down towards the locker room door where Jacob and the rest of the players were set to come out of.

Technically, Claire was right. Riley didn’t have any responsibilities until Monday morning and that’s more in part to the fact that she didn’t even have any homework due, that was just something she blurted out the moment Claire asked her earlier in the day if she would come to the game tonight with her. It didn’t take much budging for Riley to say no, after all, she loved Jacob and having grown up in St. Louis, her family often went to Blues games– so she enjoyed the game as well. However, once they got to the arena and Claire spilled about how they would also be going on a double date as well, with Riley being the other participant in the other couple, the slight good mood she had came crumbling down.

Claire refused to tell her who she was being forced to go on a date with, other than it was someone that she knew of and they knew Riley would be the girl he was on a date with. Halfway through the game, only when Riley threatened to call herself an uber home did Claire tell her that the date was actually one of Jacob’s teammates– a teammate who had expressed interest to Jacob about Riley that night they were all out at the same bar, despite it being girls night. Jacob told Claire and apparently the two of them had talked for a few days, Claire even talking to the teammate before finally agreeing that she was willing to set Riley up on a double AND blind date.

Though she was of course more than willing to from the jump, just like she’s been trying to hook her up with any male she thought she was a great fit for ever since high school. And it was all the same– she’d buy into her plan, go on the date, either liking the guy or he would ruin any potential feelings within seconds by saying something super misogynistic or just overall not being her type and then she’d end the night saying bye and going home by herself.

It was actually quite a process and one that Riley's come to love, because sure, while having an occasional guy in her bed for an hour or two was nice, she was never one to want to actually share her bed. Claire says she has commitment issues, but Riley liked to think of it as not bothering to settle down for any amount of time if she knew the guy was just going to waste it.

Which of course, everytime their parents came to visit or they traveled home on Holidays, meant her love life was often the topic of discussion. But that’s what happens when Claire’s basically on her way to an engagement and Brendan, their younger brother, had finally managed to convince his long time best friend Evelyn to date him.

Riley was the black sheep her parents worried about, wondering whether or not they’d ever see her bring a boyfriend home for Christmas, walk down an aisle and eventually grace them with grandchildren.

“Look, there’s Jacob now,” Claire said, standing up straight from leaning against the wall and waving her hand up slightly in the air to catch his attention.

Riley looked up from the dull arena hall floor to see Claire’s boyfriend of a little over a year, Jacob Markstrom, walking over, half expecting to see whichever teammate the two of them decided to hook her up with for the night. Jacob was nice and their parents loved him from the moment they’d accidentally met him leaving Riley and Claire’s shared apartment when they had only been dating for four months. Riley told Claire she was going to the airport to pick up their parents and yet the moment they all walked up to the door, out came strolling the 6’6” goalie in all his Swedish and slightly hungover glory.

And much to Claire’s embarrassment and Riley’s amusement, their parents invited him out to lunch later that day and they fell in love with him. There isn’t a single text or phone call between their parents where they don’t ask how Jacob’s doing and seeing if he wanted to come over for the holiday or any other small, family event.

“Good game babe,” Claire smiled, immediately walking into the blonde’s arms and giving him a hug. “Proud of you for blocking those shots there in the shootout.”

“If only I could’ve blocked more in regulation, then we wouldn’t have needed an overtime or shootout.” Jacob replied, leaning down and kissing her, keeping his arm on the small of her. “But thank you älskling, I appreciate it.”

“Hey future brother-in-law, is there any way you could tell me who this mystery date of mine is?” Riley sighed, letting her arms drop as she stood up straight. “Claire Bear over here wouldn’t even give me a single hint aside from he’s one of your teammates.”

Jacob laughed, nodding his head and looking down at Claire. “I don’t know, I think I’ve been sworn to secrecy too. But he should’ve been right behind me,”

“I didn’t see him,” Claire shook her head, looking back behind them as more of the players started to file out in groups before looking back at Jacob. “He didn’t change his mind, did he?”

Jacob shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of, he was talking about it before the game and asking how the driving situation would work. I didn’t tell him–”

“You know what? No big deal,” Riley smiled, feeling relieved as she waved them off and dug into her purse to grab her phone. “You guys go ahead and go on the date and I’ll order myself an uber and go back to my–”

“Hey sorry I’m late, I was just giving Meredith the number of some party planner my mom knows out in Boston. I guess she wants to surprise Johnny with a party out there this summer for his birthday.”

Riley looked up from her purse to see the all too familiar face of Matthew Tkachuk, only this time he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt and some jeans like he’d been wearing at the bar. This time he was wearing a suit– a nice navy blue one at that– and had a black coat draped over his arm. Riley would be lying if she said he wasn’t cute in normal clothes, but she would be lying even more if she said seeing him dressed up in a suit made him even more attractive. She won’t even think about seeing him in full uniform, mostly because honestly, she spent the entire night barely paying attention to the game and trying to figure out who her mystery date was.

It turns out it was–

“Him?” She asked, looking at Claire. “He’s my date?”

“Uh,” Matthew chimed in, holding up a hand. “I’m kind of right here.”

Claire turned away from her and towards Matthew. “Sorry for my sister, Matt. Ri can be rude sometimes.”

Riley didn’t miss the sharp change in her tone when Claire had called her rude, and maybe she was. But it was her initial reaction and Claire knew about the bump in at the bar because Riley had told her. She’d even laughed about it– “oh Matthew? He’s harmless. A flirt, but a harmless one.”

And yet here Claire was, setting her sister up on a date with the “harmless flirt” she’d talked about only a little over a week ago.

“Sorry,” Riley replied, looking down at her purse again and bringing her phone out of it, checking the time. “Claire, can we get going? It’s getting kind of late.”

“Of course, let’s get going,” Jacob nodded, looking back at her sister before the two started to walk off, leaving just her and Matthew standing there.

“After you,” Matthew said, motioning for her to walk. Riley crossed her arms again close to her chest as she turned around to follow behind Jacob and Claire, Matthew walking beside her. “I’m sorry if you were expecting someone else.”

“What?”

Matthew nodded ahead of them towards Jacob and Claire. “You seemed like you were expecting someone else.”

Riley felt her cheeks begin to heat up as she adjusted her arms. “No, not at all. I mean, I–”

“You literally said ‘him’ and didn’t look pleased,” Matthew replied, his free hand in his pants pocket as he shrugged. “I’m not offended, I’m just apologizing if they told you something different. Jacob told me you knew.”

“I knew about the double date, and Claire only told me about it once we got to the arena and she knew I wouldn’t pay for an uber back to my apartment with the traffic.” Riley replied, looking ahead of them just as Jacob and Claire seemed to be hiding the fact they took a quick glance behind them. “So I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”

Matthew laughed and the first thing Riley noticed was his smile. He hadn’t smiled at the bar, not a full one– just a smirky smile, which at the time she thought that maybe was his trick into getting girls to think he’d had feelings for them or was interested in them.

He has a really nice smile.

“Trust me, nothing you could say would make me feel bad,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Between the chirps between my brother and sister– hell, my parents too and then the stuff online, I’ve got some pretty thick skin.”

“Oh yeah, professional hockey player, I forgot,” Riley laughed softly, hugging her arms closer to her again as they caught up to Jacob and Claire and stepped into the garage within the Saddledome where players and employees of the team alike, parked.

“Okay so here’s the thing,” Claire said, clasping her hands together and looking up at Jacob before looking back at her and Matthew. “We forgot we promised to facetime into a call to Jacob’s family. His sister’s got some news to share and wanted everyone to be on a call.”

Riley’s jaw dropped as she stared at her sister, who conveniently was avoiding her gaze. “Claire–”

“But it’s still pretty early so you guys feel free to grab some coffee or a drink, hang out and get to know each other. Just because it’s not a double date, doesn’t mean it still can’t be a date,” Claire smiled, finally looking over in her direction only to be greeted with an ‘I know you had this planned all along’ look from her sister. “Matthew, I trust you to get my sister back to her apartment safely? Or you can just take her back to your place–”

“Claire!” Riley spoke through gritted teeth, blinking obviously at her sister who was already dragging Jacob away from them both.

“Text me in the morning! Have a good night!” Claire smiled, waving at the both of them as Jacob followed behind, he too lifted a large arm to wave his hand in the air.

Riley watched helplessly as they got into his car, turning around to face Matthew once she heard the sound of an engine start. “I am…so, so sorry for that.” She scoffed softly, shaking her head in disbelief. “Claire’s pretty straightforward, but I promise I had no idea she was going to do that. You really don’t have to feel obligated to take me home or anything.”

“It’s fine,” Matthew replied, shaking his head as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and holding onto his keys. “I can take you home if you want to go.”

She felt guilty, partly because she was so embarrassed to have been blatantly left there by her sister and the other half because she knew this isn’t what Matthew had signed up for at all. He was expecting a double date, a double date where the girl knew who she was going out with. He didn’t sign up for a surprise double date or to have said double date crash and then be left with possibly no date and to take his stranded date home.

“If it’s not too much?” Riley finally spoke, feeling uncomfortable with her own guilt. “I promise I don’t live too far away. I’m actually only about five minutes away from where Jacob and Claire live if you know it?”

“I know it,” he nodded, motioning again for her to start walking as he walked beside her. “Claire’s quite the host when it comes to team stuff. The Thanksgiving they held at their place this year was pretty fun. Though, you weren’t there I don’t think.”

“That’s right, I forgot she did that,” Riley nodded in reply. “I went home since I didn’t have any classes, but I remember her saying she and a few others were going to do something. But yeah, Claire’s quite the hostess. Life of the party even.”

“She’s something,” Matthew nodded, quickening his pace just a little before coming to a stop by a black Audi SUV and opening the passenger door. “I started the car once we entered the garage, so it should be warmer here.”

“Oh,” Riley was caught off guard. Despite the action itself being bottom of the barrel of what men were expected to do, Riley truly couldn’t remember the last time any date she had, had opened any door for her…not just a car door. “Thank you.”

Matthew just nodded in reply and waited for her to get into the car before he checked to make sure her feet or her purse weren’t hanging out so he could close the door. And though he could’ve taken his time to walk around, she watched him walk around the back of his car with a sort of urgency, not leaving her alone inside for long before he was opening the driver door and ducking into the car.

He fiddled with the radio for a bit before picking up an aux cord and offering it up to her. “You’re more than welcome to have the aux. I’m not all too picky with music.”

“Are you sure?” Riley asked, looking at him to see if she could spot any sign of him changing his mind.

“Absolutely, you can have it,” he said, handing the cord over.

Riley took it from his hand and plugged it into her phone, unlocking it and opening her music library. “Any requests?”

“Just whatever you want to play,” he said, looking away from her as he put his seatbelt on and then put his car into reverse.

She felt nervous sitting there in his car and she didn’t know if it was because she was sitting in the car of someone who was basically a stranger to her, or because of the kind of date setting. It took everything in her not to physically move in her seat to try to get the nerves out, so instead she just endlessly scrolled through her music library, not even picking a song.

“My family and I play this game when it comes to what songs to play, that way there’s not one person who’s picking all the songs,” she said, breaking the silence as she looked at him.

“What’s that?” He asked, sneaking a look at her before maintaining his focus on backing out of his parking spot to eventually straighten up and leave the garage.

“We each took turns picking a letter and a number. Whatever letter someone picks, you’ll scroll down to the number they picked and then that’s the song.”

“Okay, I got it,” Matthew nodded, looking at her as he pulled out of the garage. “B 163.”

Riley stared at him, blinking once or twice. “In what universe would you ever think I have 163 songs that start with the letter B?”

“I don’t know, I just went with a random mix,” he shrugged, looking at her. “So do you?”

“Maybe.” She knew she did. So she just bit back the smile that was trying to reveal her cards and looked back down at her phone, scrolling to the B’s and then starting to count.

Matthew pulled out into the street as she reached 90 and saw she was passing some pretty great songs, and made mental notes of what numbers they were…which was technically cheating, but her brother did it all the time.

158…right? Wait yeah 158…159….160….161….162….Oh no.

This could either go one of two ways– he could hear the song and enjoy it, or he could look at her like she was just a 12-year-old who never grew up and speed the entire way to drop her off at her own apartment, just so he could get her out of the car.

Wait? Isn’t that what she wanted?

Not wasting another moment, she took a deep breath and pressed the song, closing her eyes to prepare for whatever critique Matthew was going to hurl her way.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye as the piano started to play from the speakers, only giving him a second of instrumental before the vocals picked up and giving away just what song was playing.

“We’re soarin’, flyin’, there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach. If we’re tryin’, so we’re breaking free…”

“Is this High School Musical?” He smiled, looking at her as they pulled up to a stoplight.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling sheepishly as she rubbed her arm. “My music library’s kind of all over the place and sometimes I like listening to the old Disney classics.”

He laughed, nodding his head as he reached out and turned the volume dial up just a little. “I remember watching this when it came out. I was always a hockey player, but that’s when I discovered that maybe I wasn’t exactly a basketball player.”

“Oh God, why can I see you dressed up as Troy Bolton for Halloween?” Riley laughed, looking at him.

Matthew’s face scrunched up as she shook his head. “Oh hell no, never. I was always a hockey player for Halloween, never the same one unless it was my Dad. But my brother and I switched each year on who got to be him.” He looked over at her with that same smirk from the bar. “But I do know the words to the song.”

“Go on then,” Riley smiled, motioning towards the radio. “Sing it.”

Matthew cleared his throat as he turned the music down just barely, as if the difference in volume would make a difference in whether or not she’d be able to hear him sing. “We’re soarin’, flyin’, there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach. If we’re tryin’, yeah we’re breaking free–”

“Okay, no, no,” Riley laughed, reaching out and turning the volume way down as Matthew laughed. “I’m sorry, but I can not have you butchering the musical stylings of Troy and Gabriella like that.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad of a singer!”

“Yeah, it’s cute that you try.”

The car rolled to a stop as the song continued to play quietly, Matthew tapping his fingers on the top of his steering wheel and chewing the inside of his cheek as he stared ahead at the red light, waiting for it to turn green. “I normally stay up a little bit after games because it takes me some time to wind down, and the coffee shop I usually go to is on the way to your apartment…” He looked at her, and even Riley wasn’t oblivious to the nerves written all over his face. “Would you want to stop and grab something to drink maybe?”

“I could go for a hot chocolate or something,” Riley nodded, looking at him.

“Okay, cool,” Matthew smiled, looking back towards the light as it turned green and kept driving.

It turns out that the coffee shop Matthew had mentioned, was only a few blocks up ahead from where they had been. They were closing soon and Matthew asked if she would be okay with staying in the car while he went to grab their drinks, just so she didn’t have to walk out into the cold January air. He stayed nearby, making sure she locked it once he had left and then Riley watched through the passenger window as he walked into the coffee shop with the same urgency as he had when he walked around his car.

She knew of Matthew only because of living in the city of Calgary who took their hockey very seriously. Plus, her sister was dating their goalie and Riley had tagged along to some events and nights out with the girlfriends and wives of players. Most importantly, his dad was treasured back home in her hometown of St. Louis, having played there during the years where she and her family had gone to games. But never in her entire life had she crossed paths with Matthew or his family– not until she moved to Calgary, not until Claire started dating Jacob, and most definitely not until last week at the bar or this moment right now sitting in his car, waiting for him to come back with their hot drinks. 

Riley saw Matthew place money in a tip jar before turning back around with two drinks in hand. Once she saw he was at her door, she rolled the window down to take the drinks from him and placed them into the cupholder before unlocking the car so he could get back into the car. 

“So I know I said I’d take you home, but can I show you something first?” He asked, picking up one of the drinks and handing it to her. “They’re both hot chocolate by the way, so you don’t have to take this one.”

“No it’s fine,” she replied, taking the cup. “And I mean…sure? I guess I’m not really all that tired right now.”

“Cool. I promise it’s not too far, it’s actually just around the corner,” he smiled, putting the car into park and peeling into the street before continuing to drive.

She sat in the passenger seat, sipping on her hot chocolate as Matthew continued the drive, eventually pulling into the parking garage of an apartment complex that Riley had considered moving into herself shortly before moving out of her and Claire’s shared apartment. They drove up to the second level before finally finding a spot, Matthew pulling into it and putting the car into park.

“It’s just a little bit of a walk, but not much, I promise,” Matt said, looking at her before opening his car door and getting out.

Riley followed suit, making sure she had her phone, purse and hot chocolate before closing the passenger door and walking towards the end of the car. “I actually considered moving here a year ago.”

“Really?” Matthew asked, standing by the trunk and waiting for her to be beside him before they started walking. “Too bad you didn’t. Maybe we could’ve been neighbors.”

Riley snorted, shaking her head as she took a long sip of her hot chocolate. “That’s doubtful. I don’t have NHL money.”

Matthew stopped just ahead of her and stood in her way, holding out his hand and motioning for her. “Here, put this on,” he held his coat out as he nodded at her drink in her hand. “I’ll hold your drink.”

“Oh, it’s really no–”

“I’ve at least got a long sleeve shirt and a jacket on to keep me warm, you’ve got…whatever kind of sweater that is.” He moved the winter coat again, “just take it, you’ll need it I promise.”

Instead of arguing with him, Riley just sighed and nodded and handed over her hot chocolate before taking the black winter coat he’d had draped over his arm at the arena, unfolding it and putting it on, buttoning only the middle button so it wouldn’t stay open. “There, I’m a little warmer now.”

“Good, because Claire would kill me if I let you freeze to death I’m sure.” He replied, handing her back her drink before nodding his head back. “Come on, I’ll take you to what I wanted to show you.”

“As long as I’m in my own bed by midnight and you’re not going to turn me into the next inspiration for a Criminal Minds episode when they come back with their reboot, then okay.”

She walked alongside him as he scanned a key fob to get into the building, once again Matthew holding the door open for her and allowing her to walk in first before following just behind her and nodding his head to his left. “The elevator right here.”

“So what’s this thing you want to show me?” She asked, waiting for him to close the door behind him.

“It’s a surprise,” he replied, making sure the door closed behind him before walking over and nodding at the elevator button. “You should feel special because I don’t show this spot to just anyone.” He looked at her with that same playful smirk.

Riley pressed the button, signaling for the elevator to come to the floor they were on and when the double doors opened, they both walked into the elevator, Matthew pressing the close doors button as well as the button at the top of them all that had only say T. As the elevator started to move, Riley leisurely sipped on her hot chocolate, Matthew doing the same as they waited for the elevator to come to a stop.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” she chimed, the words she meant to say earlier when he brought up going somewhere else instead of taking her right home, finally coming out. “I meant what I said about being back in my own bed by midnight.” 

“Relax,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. “My mom raised me right, you know.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me you’ve never had a one night stand? Mr. makes a million dollars a year, basically the face of a franchise and NHL player?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she brought the cup back up to her lips.

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, Matthew stepped towards the doors, holding his arm out in front of them and waving for her to walk through. “Actually I’m earning nine million this year,” he replied, tilting his head to the side as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and sighing. “And I’m hardly the face of a franchise, that’s Johnny. And no, I didn’t say that, just come on will you?”

She followed his directions, stepping off of the elevator and back out into the cold January air. “Where are we?” She asked, holding her hot chocolate closer to her chest as she heard the elevator doors close behind her.

“I found it when I moved in,” he said, nodding at her to follow him as he started to walk away from the elevator and down the wheelchair ramp. “The owner of the complex doesn’t advertise it when people check into living here, mainly because it has no standing on the rent.”

There were small posts that hung garden lights from around them, dimly lighting the space they were on. As Riley looked around, she noticed a different variety of lounge chairs– the kinds you could find in gardens, on front porches or even poolside. She could see off to their left, was what looked to be a small garden, though again the light that the garden lights hung around the seating area didn’t really show all that much. She could, however, see the fire pit that sat in the center of all of the chairs, letting her know that this must be some kind of hang out spot for the complex. Maybe if she had looked deeper into this complex when she was searching for a new apartment, she might’ve known about it.

“Over there’s a small community garden, I think there’s a few vegetables and spices, but really it’s only flowers. I asked the owner about it when I came up here one day after drunk pressing the wrong floor and he said he puts a place like this on all of his properties, in memory of his wife who died of breast cancer because she loved to garden.” Matthew walked away from the garden and just passed some of the chairs before coming to a stop on the other side of the rooftop, where there were no dim garden lights. “The whole terrace is supposed to be a kind of place where people can come out and relax, clear their minds, you know? But I’ve never seen anyone come up here.”

“Maybe because it’s cold,” Riley said, walking up next to him and leaning her arms against the ledge of the terrace.

Matthew rolled his eyes and rested his hot chocolate on the ledge. “You don’t say?”

“Just pointing out the obvious is all,” she smiled, taking another sip of her hot chocolate as she looked towards the other side of the terrace. “The idea of it is nice though, I like it. Plus the view,” she blew out a low whistle as she looked back out towards downtown Calgary. “It’s beautiful. I can only imagine what it looks like during the day.”

“I like it better at night,” Matthew replied, tapping his fingers against his cup as he shrugged. “It helps clear my mind a bit after games.”

“Only if you’re not going out with the boys, right?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Right,” he laughed, nodding his head as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and shrugged. “It kind of reminds me of looking out of the airplane window when you’re flying at night, you know? Seeing all the lights from the buildings in the city you’re flying over and how there’s a whole city of people who are living their lives individually. It makes you realize just how big the world is.”

Riley let a few moments of silence pass as she let her cooling down hot chocolate cup try to warm up her hands before she nodded and looked at him. “Wow…that was deep for a hockey player.”

He laughed and shook his head as he kept his eyes out towards the cityscape, opening his mouth to say something, only to pause and stand up straight from his leaning stature, pointing ahead of him. “Wait, look!”

Riley raised an eyebrow as she looked out over the city lights and out towards the far away, dark horizon. “What?”

“This is going to sound ridiculous, but I swear I saw a shooting star,” Matthew kept his gaze out ahead of him for a few more seconds before he let his hand drop and he looked at her. “Like…no bullshit it moved.”

“Orrrrr,” she dragged out, looking at him. “Maybe it was an airplane.”

“Moving that fast? Really?”

“You never know with guys like Elon Musk trying to build crazy shit and defy the inevitable every second of every day,” she replied, bringing her cup back up to her lips as she turned back towards the city.

Matthew let the silence settle between them, though she could still feel his gaze on her and his body being turned towards her as well. “You’re a lot different than your sister…”

“Says you and every other person who’s walked into our lives.” Riley shrugged, holding her cup with both hands. “Claire’s a lot more…hopeful, she likes to see the petter picture of options and I’m more–”

“Of a cynical bitch?” Riley almost choked on her sip of air, rather than hot chocolate seeing as she hadn’t tipped her cup far enough yet, and when she looked at Matthew, he was looking at her with wide eyes. “Sorry…are we not at that level of friendship yet?”

This time she laughed as she placed her cup down onto the ledge and nodded. “Actually, I was going to say the same thing.”

“So…why is that?” He asked, reaching out and gripping his fingers onto the concrete ledge as he leaned himself backwards, almost as if he was stretching his arms. “You guys are what? Only a little over a year apart?”

“You said you have a brother right?” She asked, as he nodded in reply. “Are you and your brother the same person?”

“Well…kind of?” He replied, shrugging. “But he can get a little more crazy than me. Plus he’s got that whole middle child thing going on, so he always needs to be the center of attention.”

“Hey, I’m a middle child,” Riley faked offense, reaching out and nudging his arm.

“You said it, not me.” Matthew smiled, tilting his head to the side. “But really…siblings having their individual personalities aside…you guys aren’t that far apart in age, so I guess I just figured you’d be a little bit alike, you know”

“I don’t know,” Riley took a deep breath and sighed as she shrugged her shoulders and looked at him. “Claire will say it’s because of my Junior year prom date standing me up and going to prom with his ex-girlfriend– why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” He asked, trying to fight back the knowing smirk that was already present on his face.

“Smirking,” she said, turning her body towards him and waving at his face. “You’re smirking and nodding like you just figured something out.”

“More like figured you out,” he replied, pulling himself closer to the ledge before letting go of the concrete and bringing his arms into his chest as he rested them on the ledge and leaned against them. “And I don’t think you’re as cynical as you think or want people to think you are. I just think you’re scared.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t know me.”

“No,” he replied, looking over at her. “But I’d like to…get to know you.”

Riley squinted as she held her arms closer to her and leaned against the ledge, almost copying him. “Why?”

“Well for one, I think it’s cool we’re from the same city–”

“Technically state, because you’re from boujee Chesterfield.”

“And second…I think you’re funny and I definitely liked how you were at the club.”

“Ohhhh,” Riley smiled, nodding at him. “So you liked how I didn’t fall for your little pick up routine, right? Let me guess…you like the challenge?”

Matthew didn’t smile or put that smirk on like she thought he would, like most men would the moment the challenge of picking up a woman was brought up. Instead he just stuck out his bottom lip partially and shrugged. “I don’t see you as a challenge because you’re a person…but you’ve piqued my interest and I’d like to get to know you better. Plus your sister’s dating my teammate so.”

Riley turned back towards him and leaned her left arm on the railing. “Well I hate to break it to you Matthew, but I really don’t see this happening. Relationships and I don’t really do well–”

“Oh? So you admit it?” He asked, raising both eyebrows as he turned towards her. “You want a relationship?”

“I– no, that’s not–” Riley huffed in frustration as soon as she saw him smile and then rolled her eyes in an effort to keep her own smile at bay. “Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“I’ll let you consider this our first date,” she replied, nodding at him before curling her upper lip slightly. “Though it’s not looking too good that you spent the first near two hours of our date smashing other guys into boards, plus the extra thirty minutes of waiting after…and not to mention you didn’t even give me a puck.”

Matthew laughed, a deep, belly laugh as he head leaned back just slightly before nodding and looking at her. “Okay, so I’ll have to make the second date better then. Don’t worry, I got it.”

“Wow. Already giving up on this one that you think it’s going to end badly? What? Afraid I’ll tell my sister how bad of a kisser you are when you try to kiss me tonight?”

That stupid smirk returned as he stood himself up straight and turned to her. Riley wanted to do nothing more than to kiss it off of his stupid lips and by the way he looked at her, he knew it too. “That’s the thing, I’m not kissing you tonight. Come on, let me take you home.”

“And why not?” Riley’s eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed her hot chocolate and followed behind him back towards the chairs. “Am I not kissable?”

He laughed again, finishing off his hot chocolate before tossing it into the trashcan, holding the slot open for her as she finished what remained of hers and tossed it in as well. “Oh no, you’re definitely kissable and I’m fighting every urge right now not to kiss you.” He led them up to the elevator and he pressed the button. “But my mom always taught me not to kiss on the first date.”

Riley hugged her arms closer to her, starting to feel the Calgary chill as the wind started to pick up. If she wasn’t so cold, she was sure that the shock of his statement would be frozen all over her face. Here he was, a 24-year-old bachelor living in a city that praised the ice he skated on. He’d had one night stands, he told her that, and yet she wouldn’t…couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact Matthew Tkachuk…didn’t kiss on the first date?

“I-well..that’s…” she paused, unsure of how to play off her shock despite her already failing so miserably to do so. “Sweet.”

Matthew smiled, nodding his head. “And if you let me take you home so you don’t freeze to death, I guarantee you’ll learn more about me on our second date…and maybe get a kiss at the end of that too.”

Riley scoffed, shaking her head and standing up straight as the elevator doors opened. “I’m not cold.”

“Say that to the shivering sound of your teeth when you were doubting my shooting star,” he reached out and rested his hand on the small of her back, nudging her into the warmth of the elevator first, keeping it there as he walked into the elevator himself, removing it once they were both inside of the elevator and he pressed the button of the floor they needed to go to and her back pressed against the elevator wall.

It didn’t matter though. She felt the warmth of his hand against her skin through both his jacket and her flimsy sweater the rest of the elevator ride, the car ride back to her apartment and when she was lying in her own bed.

At 11:59.

DAY 43 – FEBRUARY 12TH, 2022 [ IT'S OFFICIAL ]

How the hell did I get here?

That’s a question Riley found herself asking herself anytime that she woke up in Matthew’s apartment. Whether that was on his couch or in his bed, she always wondered. And the question wasn’t asked in a “I got too drunk last night how the hell did I get here” way, it was more of a “how the hell did I end up waking up in the apartment of a man, most of the time not hungover or after a wild night out– but instead after receiving the text of ‘just landed, not tired, feel like coming over to watch a movie?’” Kind of way.

Only a handful of times in the last three weeks has she found herself waking up in his apartment with her head throbbing, her mouth dry from drinking and the taste of her drunken meal lingering in her morning breath. The rest of the time she’s woken up from falling asleep on the couch watching a movie or a show one of his teammates or his friends from home or his siblings suggested he watched, waking up in his bed curled up beneath his heavy comforter with her head sharing the space with his on his all-time favorite pillow.

But no matter how she ended up at his apartment or the circumstances behind how she fell asleep and where, the two things that were consistent every single time, were her wearing one of his shirts and that she always woke up with his arms wrapped around her. Unless, like this morning, he somehow woke up before her and she was greeted to an empty bed. But the smell of food and the sound of running water and pans clinking echoing from behind his closed bedroom door told her exactly where he was and what he was doing.

Riley got out of bed, turning towards the mattress and making her side of the bed up and looking up to see that he had already done it, even though he’s always made a joke at how the first thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is make the bed– even if he’s still in it. She walked over to his dresser, opening the third drawer which she knew had his gym shorts in it and pulled out a black pair before closing the drawer and then putting the shorts on, rolling the waistband once before opening his bedroom door and walking out into his apartment, immediately seeing him standing in his kitchen by the stove, his back facing her.

She walked over, feeling the cool of the wooden floor beneath her feet as she made her way through both the living room and dining room and into the kitchen, the tile even colder. She came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and standing up on her toes to rest her chin on his shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”

“Well good morning sleeping beauty,” Matt laughed, looking at her and lifting his right arm up to let her move under it so she was resting against his side. “I didn’t think you’d be getting up for another hour.”

“Mm, I smelled breakfast,” she smiled, looking up at him and leaning up to kiss him before turning back  and snuggling into his side. “Which I assume you’re making for yourself?”

“Ha ha, no,” he replied, rolling his eyes as he carefully switched the spatula from his right hand to his left and flipped the omelet. “I was actually going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. But seeing as you’re awake now, do you think you can go ahead and crack the eggs and scramble them for me so I can make mine once yours is done?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I kind of like the idea of breakfast in bed, sounds super romantic actually. Almost–” she paused as the word froze in her throat. Domesticated. ‘Almost domesticated’ is what she was going to say, but she couldn’t…wouldn’t, really.

Sure, it’s already been almost three weeks since that failed blind double date, turned…sort of first date for her and Matthew and maybe by now, especially with as often as they talked and how much time they spent together between her classes and his schedule, including just how many times post game they tagged along to a late dinner with Claire and Jacob or another player and their significant other…they never had a talk about being official. A “what are we” conversation has definitely happened, Matthew first brought it up one month in, stating that he didn’t want to just be a hook-up, but also wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship yet and her stance was the same. The conversation ended with no solid answer, but they both decided to continue with…whatever this was anyway.

Because then, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted. A relationship was…a possibility in the cards, but at that point in time it didn’t feel like she could truly open herself up to one, especially one with him. Yet here she was, almost two months later and the word ‘domesticated’ almost came out of her mouth to describe the very action Matthew was doing– making them breakfast.

And for the first time since high school, she wanted to be in a relationship. More importantly, she wanted to be in one with him…but she’d gone along with not wanting a relationship he brought up first, so maybe it would be best to just play along with whatever they were doing until Matthew changed his mind.

And hopefully he changed his mind.

“Riles?”

“Hm?” She asked, shaking her head slightly before looking up at him.

“The eggs?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she nodded, unwrapping her arms from his waist and walking over to the fridge.

“Did I lose you there for a second?” He laughed, flipping the omelet again before picking up the pan and tilting it, letting the omelete slide onto the plate. “You kinda paused there.”

“Oh no,  just…brain fart, you know?” She laughed, grabbing two more eggs from the fridge before closing it, walking behind him and to his left where the bowl he’d previously used was. “I was just going to say that it was almost enough to make me really like you is all.”

Matthew snorted, nodding his head as he sprayed the pan again with some pam. “So what does that mean? You only like me?”

Riley looked over her right shoulder with a playful smile and shrugged. “Eh.”

“Eh?” He mimicked, shaking his head. “Does this mean I can cancel our having no plans and go out and catch up with the rest of the guys out at the simulated golf course today?”

She immediately turned around, eyes wide as she shook her head. “Wait no, you said we could just stay in today and relax since we’re going to that big super bowl party tomorrow,” she started to pout as he walked over to her, taking the eggs from her hands. “We were supposed to start One Tree Hill today.”

Matthew cracked an egg and dropped it into the bowel before tossing the shell into the sink, shrugging as he pouted. “Eh.”

“Matthew–” Riley barely spoke before he looked at her with that stupid smirk that always made her stomach fill with butterflies. He was never going to cancel their day in, he was only messing with her. She nudged him away, taking the remaining egg back and cracking it into the bowl. “You suck.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek while simultaneously taking the bowl from her and handing her the plate with her omelete on it. “Eat your breakfast, I’ve already got the bread in the toaster so all you’ll need to do it toast it and butter it.”

Riley walked over to the toaster, pushing down the slots and then left her plate in front of it before moving just a little way over and pulling herself up onto the counter. “So…”

She paused again as she stared at the back of him, adding the cheese and spinach into his omelete. Again, she was asking herself the same ‘how the hell did I get here?’ Question that she’s been asking herself for weeks now. How, in the actual hell, did she go from cynical, romance is gross, jokingly telling Claire and Jacob to at least warn her before they were going to kiss in her presence, never getting the big hype about rom-com movies…to this? To waking up in bed with Matthew in mornings after nights where sometimes all they did was lounge on the couch and watch a new Netflix suggestion? To knowing her way around his apartment like she did her own? She had products in his shower, his clothes were hers, she kept a pair of shoes over here, he had almond milk in the fridge for her and her favorite cereal mingled in with his own. To him making her breakfast and planning on greeting her in bed with it?

It almost felt surreal, her entire situation. How did it all happen so fast, practically In the blink of an eye– like all of the rom-com’s Claire loved to watch every weekend– and she never even noticed it?

“Sooo?” Matthew echoed, bringing her back into reality as he looked over his shoulder. “Care to finish that thought?”

“I was just going to ask if you were prepared to enjoy the amazing, legendary show of One Tree Hill? And also that you can’t watch it without me, because I need to see your reaction to the most pinnacle stuff.”

“Is it really that legendary if I’ve never heard of it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over at her.

Riley rolled her eyes as their pieces of toast popped up. “Considering your only interests in life when the show was on air was hockey and oh wait…hockey!” She nudged herself off of the counter and smiled at him. “I would be surprised if you have heard of it.”

“Hey, I like to think that interest in hockey paid off, hm?” He said, turning the stove off before placing his omelete onto his plate.

“All I know is that if you’re on the wrong Scott’s brother team, I don’t know if we can be friends,” she said, taking the lid off of the butter and starting to butter the pieces of toast.

“Ouch, first I’m demoted to like and now we might not be friends?” He playfully scoffed as she put the toast onto his plate and cut it. “I guess I better not mess this up huh?” He whispered into her ear before kissing her temple and then grabbing both of their plates just as she put her toast onto her own. “Now come on, we’ve got hill trees to watch.”

“Tree Hill!” She groaned, taking the butter and putting it into the fridge. “It’s called One Tree Hill!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, shooting her a smile over his shoulder. “Now come on, it’s time to start our day of relaxing.”

And they did. They had breakfast together, starting season one, episode one of One Tree Hill at 10:30 am…and almost twelve hours later and every bathroom break, pause to answer a question and door dash delivery in between…they were on season one, episode eighteen with five more episodes left of the first season.

For Riley, it was one of her personal favorite episodes– the Boy Toy charity auction episode– and despite Matthew thinking (and complaining) it was because of Nathan Scott walking out onto the stage and taking off his jacket to reveal ‘boy toy’ written across his very impressive abs– “I might not have a six pack but I’m better.” “He’s Nathan Scott…”– it was actually because of the growth Nathan shows and then the development of the lives of the other characters and the relationships.

Still…Nathan Scott shirtless also wasn’t that bad of a sight.

But right there on the couch was where they spent their entire day, lounging around in different positions unless it came to eating food, then they both sat up, but once they were done they went back down into whatever position they’d been lying in prior. And right now, the position they were lying in and had been lying in for the better half of the last two episodes since they finished dinner, had them both sharing the chaise of Matthew’s sectional sofa. Matthew was laying the full length of it, while Riley was too, except she had her head rested in his lap and her body curled up as she laid on her right side, her head resting on his right thigh where his hands had been alternating between playing with her hair or just simply running his fingers through it.

The fact that their entire day had been spent lounging around together and more specifically, that small action of him playing with her hair, wasn’t helping her brain to keep from focusing on the domestic dilemma they were in…or maybe it was just her, because Matthew looked like he had nothing going on except for everything in the moment. The dire need to know just what exactly their situation was, was bouncing around in her head so much, that she had completely missed the last five minutes of the episode, not realizing it until she felt him reach out with his right hand to grab the remote beside him.

‘What are we doing?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Um…watching the next episode of One Tree Hill?” He replied, looking confused as he paused the tv. “Unless you don’t want to?”

She felt her face heat up at the bluntness of her question without any context and Matthew must have been able to tell she was embarrassed about something, because he motioned for her to move closer to him as he sat himself up against the back of the couch. Riley felt like a puppy with its tail between its legs as she pushed herself up and carefully moved so not to lean too much against his lap, and ended up laying down between him and the arm of the couch.

“Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed?” He asked, nodding towards the tv. “Or did I completely misread your question?”

“I mean…I wasn’t really all that straightforward with what I meant,” she spoke nervously, her left hand resting on the material of his t-shirt and playing with the ripples in the fabric.

“I’m still not sure what we’re talking about here…” He replied, his eyebrows furrowing as he rolled the remote in his hand.

Riley took a deep breath and exhaled, pushing herself up onto her right hand as she leaned back against the arm rest. “I know…we talked about how this isn’t really an exclusive hook-up situation, but you also don’t know if you want a relationship right now and I don’t know. I have products in your bathroom, I keep an extra pair of shoes here, you’ve got some stuff at my place.”

She looked up from her twiddling hands and sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess I just want to know what we are, because Claire’s got a big mouth and no doubt has told them something or referred to you as my boyfriend and I just really need to know what to tell my parents and well…everyone else when they ask…I guess?”

Matthew just stared at her and every passing second felt like it was dragging on and the longer he stayed silent, the more embarrassed she felt and wanted to play it off as if she was just sleep talking- though she knew that he wouldn’t believe it for a second.

“Okay,” he cleared his throat, readjusting his posture as he tried to turn his body more towards her. “I mean…I was going to wait till after Valentine’s Day to ask if you wanted to make it more official, because I know you hate Valentine’s Day–”

“I don’t hate Valentine’s Day,” Riley scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I just think it can be super cheesy sometimes, plus the whole,” she waved her hand aimlessly, “going all out on one day of the year and putting half-assed effort into a relationship the other 364 days is dumb.”

Matthew held back a smile as he looked at her. “Wanna date?”

Her face deadpanned as she looked at the now beaming Matthew, her heart racing within her chest. “Really? You ask like that?”

“Just kidding, but I’m also dead serious,” he replied, dropping the remote in his lap as he held onto one of her hands. “I’ve been really enjoying…whatever this has been the last two months, and I know I said I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a relationship…but I’m pretty sure now that I do. So do you want to change this,” he motioned between them with his free hand before resting his left arm back over the back of the couch. “Into us dating…officially?”

Now Riley was the one who sat there staring at him, only her mouth was slightly opened and the word, though she was dying to say it, sat there frozen on the tip of her tongue. “Riles? Now would uh…be a good time to answer?”

“Yeah?” She finally replied, before nodding her head as an unsure look crossed his face. “Yes, I mean yes.”

Matthew smiled and leaned in, pressing her against the arm of the couch as he kissed her before pulling back and looking at her. “I was going to do this the whole romantic way, you know? Flowers, chocolates, take you out to a nice dinner and I know you’re not a big fan of it, but will you also be my Valentine?”

Riley playfully scoffed as she rolled her eyes, leaning forward and pressing her nose against his. “If I must.” She kissed him again before pulling away and then patting his thigh. “Now back to One Tree Hill, we’ve got four more episodes and then we’ve finished season one.”

“Four?” He sighed, leaning his head back as she crawled back between his legs, laying back to where she was before. “We’re sleeping on the couch tonight aren’t we?”

She looked back at him with a smile and shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, we have no plans until the afternoon, we’ll get some sleep.”

Matthew picked the remote back up and started the next episode before resting it back down onto the couch beside him. He reached forward, tugging on the blanket that she was using and making sure she was covered up enough before she felt him sink back down into the couch. Riley tried hard not to let the butterflies she was feeling in her stomach turn into her own self feeling antsy as she laid there thinking about the reactions of Claire and the rest of the WAGs tomorrow when they found out that Matthew and she had finally decided to date. And then she couldn’t stop her mind from spiraling about her parents, other friends, would things change between them or would the relaxing hangouts feel like more needed to be happening? All of this was so new to her. The last time she had a “boyfriend” was in seventh grade– and who really counted those? That wasn’t this– this was so different, this was–

And as if he knew she was starting to spiral inside of her own head, Matthew started to play with her hair again, alternating between running his fingers through her hair or rubbing her hair back and out of her forehead. Soon, the worried thoughts about what their current relationship would, should or could turn into and she felt her body relax into the couch and into Matthew as she watched the show on the tv in front of them. And when her body relaxed, her eyes did too and she found it hard to keep them open long enough to retain what was actually taking place.

She’d seen One Tree Hill all the way through multiple times, so she knew all about what happened in this episode. But it was the thought of experiencing it for the first time with Matthew that kept making her open her eyes despite the time in between getting longer and longer each time. But when she felt Matthew tug the blanket up just over her shoulders, brush the hair away from her face and lean down and kiss her temple, before sitting back up. She half expected him to pause the show and switch it to something else since she knew he wasn’t really all that tired.

Yet the last thing she remembered hearing was Nathan telling Haley he fell in love with her, meaning he had stuck with watching the episode even after he knew she’d stopped paying attention. And she could’ve sworn she heard the all too familiar opening of Gavin Degraw’s “I Don’t Want to Be” right before she really fell asleep, and the feeling of Matthew’s fingers still playing in her hair.

Calming the rapidness of the butterflies in her stomach’s wings…to nothing but a small flutter, leaving her feeling all warm inside.

DAY 69 – MARCH 10TH, 2022 [ ARGUMENTS AND LATE NIGHT APOLOGIES ]

In both aspects, it would be right to say that just like their relationship, things were picking up fast in their day to day lives. For Riley, the end of her final semester of college was only two some months away and she found her days filled with coffee, power naps, study sessions with her classmates or Kelsey, papers and of course, Calgary Flames home games. For Matthew, the end of the season was approaching fast and it was he and everyone of his teammate’s mission to make it into the postseason after missing out the year before. This year felt like maybe they could do it, find the redemption from the 2020 bubble playoffs where they imploded.

Yet despite the chaos going on in their lives, everything in regards to their relationship felt almost too good to be true. Riley found herself staying over at Matthew’s apartment more often than her own, and on the nights when she would leave campus late and was too tired to make the drive to his, he’d drive over to hers and stay with her. They’d cook dinner together or order take-out, talk about their days and listen as the other vented about whatever it was that was on their mind or bothering them, then they’d either watch tv and fall asleep on the couch or go find some sort of solace in a bedroom.

Tonight was going to be the same as the last two weeks as well. Riley would go to class while Matthew went to morning skate, he’d go through his daily routine while she stayed on campus for other classes and hiding away in the library to try her best to knock out her homework and get a little more of her paper down. Then she’d meet up with Claire and Kelsey at Claire’s apartment and then they’d go to Saddledome for the game. It felt like any other night, really– but Matthew was stressing, despite Riley telling him that he didn’t need to.

“We’re playing Tampa, Riles. Everyone expects them to win because they’re back to back cup champs. It’s a big game.” Was what he said anytime over the phone or in text that she told him he just needed to relax and play his game.

Kelsey had left the library an hour earlier than planned so she could go home and have a dinner with Oscar before he left for the arena. While Riley stayed back in the reserved study room, stressing over her paper when she got an email from her professor that was sent to their entire class talking about how they needed to make an office appointment with her to present a second rough draft of their oral presentation.

The most important presentation of her life that she absolutely needed to pass in order to pass her Capstone and achieve her degree.

She probably should have left then. Followed the advice that she’d been giving Matthew for the last few hours and gone to her apartment to relax. Instead, she stayed in the study room and tried to balance her focus between her paper and her presentation. Her focus was by no means balanced evenly between the two, considering she spent a nice fifteen minute break in between crying over the stress before diving back into her notes and trying to wrap up her paper…and then the yawns came, which was maybe another time she should’ve decided to go home and rest before the game.

But she did was she always did whenever she found herself getting tired while studying. She set a short alarm to wake her up in ten minutes, the perfect power nap, and then she’d finish whatever she could before she’d leave for her apartment to get dressed and then meet up with Kelsey and Claire.

Except…that’s not how it happened. Instead of waking up ten minutes later, she woke up almost two hours later to her phone vibrating against the table and her face. She fully woke up the moment the call ended, practically jumping out of her seat when she saw the time and all of the notifications that she had from Matt, Claire and Kelsey. And then she saw the time.

The game had started 30 minutes ago.

She quickly collected all of her stuff and left the study room, rushing through the library while simultaneously ordering her uber to the arena, hoping that she’d get there with time to spare. Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long for an uber before she was on her way to the stadium, digging through her purse for the family lanyard and ticket Matt had given her when she came home for lunch. And after begging the arena staff to let her bring her backpack in and she was willing to drop it off with security just as long as they’d let her bring it in– she was allowed to do it, but it took quite the convincing with the security managers.

By the time she reached the seats where she saw Claire, Kelsey and a few of the other WAGs sitting, she was out of breath, felt extremely disheveled and probably looked like she was crazy.

“Where the hell have you been?” Claire asked, her tone holding 

“I fell asleep in the study room, I’m sorry,” Riley replied, moving by Kelsey and sitting down between the two of them. “I just got here–”

“You missed the first two periods, but they’re getting ready to start the third so there’s still some game for you to watch.” Kelsey added, nodding towards the ice.

“How’s he doing?” Riley asked, looking at them both before looking up at the score. “And we’re winning three to one, so that’s great!”

“He’s had a few shots on goal, but other than that he got an assist on Johnny’s second goal,” Claire replied, as the arena lights started to dim. “So good, but I’m sure it’s not what he wants to be doing.”

Riley sat there and paid as best attention to the remainder of the game that she could, hoping that Matthew hadn’t noticed her lack of attendance earlier in the game and that if he did, by some slim chance then maybe he’d notice she was here now. Johnny scored another goal late in the third, getting himself a hat trick and giving the Flames an four to one lead, resulting in a Flames win the moment time ran out of the buzzer signaling the end of the game went off. She stayed with the group of women as they left their seats to make their way down to meet up with the boys. Kelsey stayed with her as she met up with one of the supervisors who had her backpack and grabbed it before finally making her way down beneath the stadium, making it just in time before any of the players made their way out of the locker room.

Jacob and Matthew both didn’t do any post-game media, so it wasn’t that long of a wait for them to come out of the locker room showered and dressed back in their suits. Despite the big win against the back-to-back Stanley Cup Champions, Matthew seemed a little more down than he usually was after a win and Riley couldn’t help but think maybe it was because he somehow knew she was late to the game, even after she promised that she would be there. She tried not to dwell too much on that thought, because she knew it was an accident but also because she didn’t want the situation to turn into something bigger just when things seemed to be going so well.

Oscar got stuck doing media, so Kelsey gave them the go ahead to leave without her since she would be waiting. The four of them walked together, making their way to the parking garage where eventually, they said their goodbyes to each other and got into their separate cars. The drive home was quiet, but Matthew, like every other time they rode in a car together, had his right hand rested on her thigh, which was the only thing keeping Riley from thinking that the car ride was quiet due to him being upset. It’d been a long day and they were both tired.

Once they reached Matthew’s apartment complex, the two of them made their way to his apartment, side by side but not hand in hand, still in silence. But over anything, at least the physical distance between them wasn’t great. Every once in a while, their shoulders would brush against each other– and it was weird that Riley was finding some sort of comfort in that since everything inside of her was telling her that clearly there was some tension that wasn’t due to the silence. Matthew stood in front of his apartment door, unlocking it and then walking in, Riley following in behind him and closing the door.

She was paying attention to what he was doing for the reason that if she was wrong, then she would take the jump and ask him if everything was okay. Because Matthew had a similar routine every time they came back to his apartment after a game. He’d hang his keys up on the wall, then walk past the kitchen and place his jacket onto the kitchen table before taking his shoes off and then walking into his room to change over. Only the moment that he tossed his keys onto the bar counter and continued to walk into his room, she knew obviously something was wrong.

Riley let some space settle between them before she followed behind him into his bedroom, staying by the door as he tossed his jacket into the hamper he often took to get dry cleaned and started undressing before walking into his closet.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, walking further into the room and standing in front of his closet where he had taken off his shoes and was taking off his suit pants.

“Everything’s fine,” he replied, draping his belt onto a hanger and stepping out of his pants, bending down to grab them.

“Are you sure?” Riley asked, crossing her arms and furrowing her eyebrows as he took off his shirt and socks, carrying the clothes and walking out of the closet before dropping them into the respective hampers– dry cleaning and normal laundry.

“Yep,” he said, walking back by her again and going back into his closet, tugging on one of the dresser drawers. “Why?”

“You just seem off…I guess,” she replied, leaning against the closet opening.

“Nope, I’m fine,” he replied, shutting the dresser drawer and changing out of his briefs, putting on a new pair before looking at the clothes in front of him. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

It was one thing for her own brain to try and nag her about being late to his game and make her feel bad, but it was a whole nother thing for it to be Matthew to do the same. Clearly he was upset about something and was being sarcastic now that she was asking for it. And instead of arguing about it, Riley just wanted to say her piece and move on.

“If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong then that’s fine, but you don’t have to be so sarcastic with your answers.” She replied, turning away from his closet and walking out of his room and over to the kitchen table, placing her backpack down onto it and starting to unpack so she could get some more work done.

She plugged her laptop charger into the wall and sat down in her chair, just as she heard Matthew come walking out of his room, zipping up his pair of jeans, stopping by the kitchen table and looking at her and laughing dryly. “Of course you’re doing more homework.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, turning in her chair. Matthew rolled his eyes, but not before he shook his head as if to brush her off. “No, don’t just shake your head and ignore me. What’s that supposed to mean Matthew, hm?”

“It means exactly what it sounds like it means, Riley,” he said, motioning towards her. “These last two weeks you’ve either had your face buried in your computer, in a textbook or in a pillow passed out because you’re too tired to do anything.”

Riley felt taken aback as she sat there on the kitchen table chair, crossing her arms. “What am I supposed to do, Matthew? Ignore my responsibilities and write halfass papers and homework that I have to do in order to get my degree?”

“No, but you can take a break every once in a while,” he replied, walking back into his room and leaving the conversation. “All you care about is writing papers or studying for tests or getting a perfect grade on your homework assignments.”

“I’m sorry for caring about my grades, but I spent a lot of money to get both of my degrees so I’m not going to do a halfass job on my assignments.” Riley stood up out of her chair and walked after him, seeing him grabbing a fresh pair of socks from the dresser his tv was standing on. “Not all of us have rich parents who could easily pay for our tuition. Some of us have to work for what we want.”

Matthew shook his head again and scoffed. “You’re not getting it, Riley.”

“What am I not getting then? Please, actually give me an answer instead of some sarcastic smart ass response and tell me what you’re problem is?”

“My problem is you knew how stressed I was about this game and how much it would mean to me for you to be there and you didn’t show up until the third period.”

“I–” Riley stared at him, blinking. “How did–”

“Claire texted Jacob when you called her and said you were on your way. Said that you fell asleep in the library.” He shook his head as he brushed by her and back out of the bedroom. “You work yourself down to the bone, Riley and I get it, you want to graduate top of your class and stuff, but tonight was important and I really wanted you there.”

“It was an accident, Matthew…” she spoke, following behind him and crossing her arms, hugging them tight against her. “I was only supposed to take a quick nap–”

“You could’ve left when Kelsey did. I know you guys were studying together because Oscar said that she had left and came home so they could have dinner together.” He cut her off, putting on a pair of sneakers, tying his shoes before standing back up and looking at her. “She made it to the game on time because she probably knew it was important to him.”

Part of her couldn’t believe that they were arguing about something so small. The other part understood that he was upset on her missing most of his game…but it was an accident. He should be understanding of that, because she could’ve just gone straight home and told him she couldn't’ make it to his game. But she still tried to go and she begged with the stadium security to let her bring her bag in so she didn’t have to go back home to drop it off and come back, only to miss even more of the game.

She still tried.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, Matthew. It was an accident,” she replied, standing there with her arms crossed. “And I still showed up. I could’ve gone straight home but I showed up because I knew you wanted me to be there and it was an accident. I didn’t purposely miss your game.”

“No, but you didn’t come and eat dinner with me either. You could have, but you didn’t,” he said, looking at her. “Do you realize how much time we’ve actually spent together in the last two weeks? Time where you weren’t on your computer or asleep at the table because you fell asleep working on homework? Maybe a day or two and that’s pushing it.”

It felt like they were going in circles, whatever it was that they were arguing about. She spoke, he spoke, she spoke again– round and round and no solution in sight. It was frustrating beyond belief, but she’d never been in this sort of situation before– fighting with someone she was dating, because she’d never had a relationship before…he was her first real one– so how the hell was it supposed to be handled? Did she let him complain and that was it? Just apologize and assume it was fine? Argue back and let her know that she didn’t do it intentionally? Every option that went through her mind, didn’t have a clear solution.

Which is why she ended up just arguing back with him, which probably wasn’t the best idea.

“I’m sorry for wanting to focus on the education I’m paying for, Matthew. I get that your hockey game was important for you, but you’ve got like twenty freaking more to make up for the one I missed. You’ve got more games and another season after this, I have this semester and then I get my degree. Of course it’s going to take my attention away, because it means a lot to me–”

“Oh, it means a lot to you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “So what am I? Chopped liver?”

This time Riley was the one to laugh in disbelief, shaking her head as she brought her hands to her temples. “I can’t even deal with you right now. Do you even hear yourself? What do you want me to do, huh? Apologize? Because I am, I’m sorry I missed two periods of your game because I overslept in my nap after stressing about my paper and my capstone oral presentation to get a degree that means everything to me and my future. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you get your assist on Johnny’s goal or God forbid, shove someone into a board. But I had a bigger priority and at least I still tried to go, I even had to beg the damn security supervisors to hold my bag so they would let me in and I wouldn’t miss your entire game.” She exhaled heavily, looking back at the blue eyed blonde. “So no, you’re not chopped liver, but right now you’re being a jerk and I don’t know if I want to be around if you’re going to keep acting like one.”

He stood there in his spot looking at her for a few seconds more before walking back into his room and coming back out a few seconds later, now with a jacket on over his t-shirt. He walked over to the bar counter and grabbed his keys, his back still to her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going out to celebrate with some of the guys,” he said, keeping his back to her. “I wouldn’t want to bother you anymore while you do your work or make you hang around while I’m being a jerk.”

“That’s not–” she huffed, following after him as he headed towards the door. “That’s not what I–” Riley could barely get the words out before he was out the door, shutting it and locking it behind him and leaving her alone in his apartment. “Meant.”

Riley stared at his apartment door, hoping that he would come right back through it because he forgot something, because maybe then that could be another chance for them to settle their misunderstanding and not be angry at each other. But she couldn’t hear lingering footsteps on the other side of the door, nor was there any sign that someone was attempting to even unlock and open the door. She walked back over to the kitchen table, picking her phone up and unlocking it, calling Claire and bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hey Ri, what’s up?” She asked, music in the background.

“What are you doing tonight?” Riley asked, leaning against the wall, keeping her arms close to her.

“I’m going out with Jacob and the guys, we’re downtown at the bar!” She replied, slightly yelling into the phone a little bit. “Are you and Matt coming out?”

“No, well I mean, yeah,” Riley sighed, rubbing her forehead as she looked at her computer sitting there waiting for her to start working again. “He is, he just left. I…I’m tired so I’m just gonna crash here at his place.”

A few seconds passed and for a moment, Riley thought that maybe Claire hadn’t heard her. “You okay?” Big mistake number two tonight. Claire knew her well enough to be able to see through her lies even on a phone call.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Riley nodded, turning off the kitchen light and walking into Matthew’s bedroom. “Be safe tonight, have fun and I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Love you.”

“Love you too,” she replied, hanging up the call and then shutting the bedroom door behind her.

Today had been long and with that fight– their first ever– with Matthew, Riley found herself way too tired to sit down at the kitchen table and try to write her paper or go over her Capstone presentation. She grabbed some of the clothes that she had here before choosing one of his shirts from his year in the OHL with the London Knights as a top and made her way into the bathroom to take a shower. It was the best time to just let the stress and exhaustion wash away with the hot water and the soap. She contemplated sending Matt an ‘I’m sorry’ text, despite the fact that she had already apologized. She also contemplated calling Claire back and telling her that she had lied to her when she said she was fine, wanting to get her big sister's advice on how to deal with the situation since Claire was an expert in all things relationship.

But she did neither. Instead, after she got out of the shower, she brushed her hair and her teeth, got dressed and climbed into Matthew’s bed, turning his tv on and finding the Lifetime app she’d downloaded, clicking on Dance Moms and watching the old episodes until she found herself falling asleep.

Riley didn’t know how much time had passed or how long she’d been asleep, but she knew for a fact that she had been asleep because the cool chill from the room sweeping underneath the raised comforter and the movement of someone settling into the bed beside her had definitely woken her up. She grabbed onto the top of the comforter, tugging it back up above her shoulders as she rolled onto her left side and groaned at the disturbance.

“Riles,” Matthew whispered, placing a hand on her waist and rubbing the area softly. “Riles, are you awake?”

“No,” she mumbled, snuggling herself down into the mattress. “I’m sleeping.”

She heard him sigh as she felt him shift closer to her, the pillow she had her head resting on dipping down and then his hand moving up onto her right arm. “Can you wake up please? I want to talk…we need to talk.”

The thump of her heart against her chest when she heard those words was enough to wake her up enough for her heavy eyelids to start blinking. She reached out for her phone on the nightstand and tapped the screen to see the time. “Matthew, it’s 1:58 in the morning…this can’t wait for a few hours?”

“Actually no, it can’t,” he replied, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “Please, Riles?”

Riley took a deep breath and exhaled, preparing herself for whatever this ‘we need to talk’ conversation was going to be and rolled over onto her otherside, coming face to face with Matthew. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t really having the best time,” he replied, keeping himself propped up onto his left elbow as he placed his hand back on her waist, keeping it there. “The guys kept ordering shots but I don’t know…I just didn’t feel like drinking.”

“You didn’t drink at all?” She asked, shocked.

Matthew sucked in his bottom lip as he shook his head. “Nope, I just kept having the bartender give me cups of water. I wasn’t in the mood to get drunk and celebrate, you know?”

Riley pouted, resting both of her hands beneath her pillow. “What? Are you going to say I ruined your celebration too?”

He chuckled softly, nodding his head. “I deserve that, I was a dick to you earlier and you didn’t deserve it. I know you still tried to make it to my game and I understand the pressure you’re under right now and it wasn’t fair of me to come for you like that about school.”

Still tired, Riley kept blinking and trying to comprehend what Matthew was saying. “Where’s this all coming from?”

Matthew looked at her, a nervous look on his face as he licked his lips and exhaled, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and looking at her. “I love you.” He must have seen the shocked look on her face even in the dim lighting from his tv screen because she could see his adam’s apple bob up and down with a nervous swallow. “I talked to Claire…well, more like she yelled at me–”

“I’m confused,” Riley said, starting to sit herself up.

“No, no, keep laying down,” he said, nudging her back down onto her side. “Claire asked me if you were really tired and I told her everything that happened and…well for one she chewed me a new one.”

“She tends to do that when she’s mad,” Riley nodded, keeping her focus on him.

“But she was right to do it, Riles, because she made me realize how what I said was unfair. I would have realized that by tomorrow or something…but she made me realize it sooner and then we got to talking about how this has been your dream since you were in middle school and you’ve been working your ass off ever since. And then she started doing that whole like therapist thing she does where she asks how you really feel–”

Riley laughed, tilting her head to the side. “She does that too. Pisses Brendan off more than anything.”

Matthew laughed softly. “Yeah, but uh…it works because she’s really good at it and she helped me realize that it wasn’t you being caught up in school or missing the first two periods of my game tonight that upset me, you know? It was me being so worked up about my performance and the game and then just…”

“Matt?” She asked, reaching out and resting her hand on his left bicep, squeezing it lightly and gaining his attention. “Breathe.”

He nodded, and took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m not mad about you almost missing my game, Riles. I’m a little upset you’re pushing yourself so hard on this school thing, but I understand that now, you know? But besides that, I’ve just…kind of been beating myself up inside about how I feel about you because…well…” He gulped again, looking at her. “I love you, Riles. I really do and it freaks me out because it’s only been a month and I didn’t want to scare you away or anything but I do. I love you and I’m tired of beating myself up about it and I told Claire that and she told me I needed to stop being an idiot and to come home and tell you, not her…so here I am. Stone cold sober and you don’t have to say it back, I’m not saying it to pressure you or anything but…well…yeah.”

Riley didn’t know how to reply. She’d only met Matthew officially for the first time in January. Sure, they’d been at events together, but that moment in the bar was the first time the two ever exchanged words. Then weeks after that night, they were on a set up blind date. Not too long after that, they were dating and now here he was, lying next to her in his bed and telling her that he loved her. Never in her life had she had someone who wasn’t a friend or family, tell her that they loved her. Sure, she’d had guys tell her that they liked her, but they never got to this point– this was uncharted territory.

Was familial love and relationship love the same? She knew she loved her parents and her siblings and her best friends, she recognized that feeling of love. But would it be any different for Matthew? She knew that she cared so much about him, just the same as she did her family and friends. But obviously, there was a difference and there were different ways that she cared for him than she did them. It was almost instinct for her to come over to his apartment instead of her own at the end of her day. She knew how he took his coffee and how he ate the same thing before every game. She knew where he liked to go on his days off if he wasn’t staying in bed. Whenever she felt anxious, just his touch alone could bring her at ease. Even just looking at him made her day so much bright. So does she love Matthew? Is that what all of these things that seemed to happen so fast in the last few months meant? Is that why she was absolutely terrified the first time that those three words slipped between his lips?

Yet when she looked at Matthew, that terrified feeling faded into the back, only leaving her thumping heartbeat in her chest in its wake and the temptation of saying those three words stuck on her lips. Her lips that were slowly turning up into a smile as she felt her cheeks heat up and her hand moved from his bicep up to his cheek, brushing her thumb against his beard.

“I love you too.”

DAY 108 – APRIL 18TH, 2022 [ SPONTANEOUS VACATION ]

“I can’t believe that you’ve been here for two years and you’ve never been to Banff,” Matthew laughed, shaking his head as they moved up in the line, each with a coffee from the starbucks in hand.

“I’ve always been busy,” Riley shrugged, taking a small sip of the hot coffee. “Besides, Claire was adjusting to her job and didn’t have a lot of vacation time between settling in on the weekends. Then she met Jacob and I was not third wheeling with those two.”

“Still,” he said, shaking his head. “Banff was one of the first things I did when I moved here. My mom and I came here and it’s one of my favorite places to go.”

“Oh?” Riley asked, raising her eyebrow. “Is this where you take all of your dates too?”

Matthew rolled his eyes as he bumped into her. “No, I don’t take all of my dates here, you dork. But, it’s so peaceful, you know? Just all of the nature…when you live in the city, especially back home in St. Louis, you just kind of forget about how beautiful it can be.”

“Touching,” she sighed, resting her hand over her heart. “That was so beautiful, I’m going to quote you on that for my instagram caption.”

He threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side, keeping her trapped. “You’re such a brat sometimes, you’re lucky I love you.”

“Mhhm,” she agreed, looking up at him as she stood on her tippy toes and kissed his lips softly. “So lucky.”

In an extremely rare occurrence, the Flames had the day off. A previously scheduled game was now going to be rescheduled due to an amount of covid cases on their opponents team, leaving them with no enough players to play. Meaning that Matthew and the Flames didn’t have to travel until tomorrow morning, when they’d fly to Nashville. Matthew came home from what was supposed to be him leaving for Chicago and woke her up, telling her they’d just had a quick practice and that he was free for the rest of the day and that she should get dressed because he wanted to take her somewhere fun.

Somewhere fun turned into grabbing breakfast from Tim Hortons and then Matthew driving the hour and a half from Calgary to Banff, the two of them listening to music and picking the other’s karaoke song, every so often doing a duet. It was a nice break from homework and stress, her one day off of classes where she was planning on sleeping the entire day away– she was actually being swept off to some of the prettiest mountains in Alberta, their first trip together as a couple.

Having been here plenty of times before, Riley let Matthew take the reins on what they would do. They grabbed another coffee at the Starbucks inside the building that was at  the base of the mountain before getting onto the Gondola. She was mesmerized by the sights of the snow covered ground and trees as they rode up the mountain. Never before had she seen such an amazing, jaw dropping sight and begrudgingly, she told Matthew that he was right. It was a beautiful view and one that she had been so easily to forget had existed because of how she spent a majority of her time in the city in a classroom and with her face in a computer.

They walked hand in hand down the boardwalk, stopping every so often to take pictures or to just take in the sights. Matthew had gotten stopped every so often by other people who were enjoying the view, talking to him about the season and the team and asking for a picture. Riley wasn’t bothered by it one bit and she offered to take the picture for them if they wanted. It was nice seeing Matthew in his element. He was such a people person and so outgoing and talkative, but she also knew very well that shy and quiet side of him when it was just the two of them in the apartment and lounging on the couch watching netflix. 

By the time they made it to Sanson’s peak, Riley could feel her face start to go numb from the cold and she was fully curled up into Matthew’s side as they looked out at the view. Snow was actively falling and yet she couldn’t take her focus off of the stretch of peaceful and beautiful nature in front of them. It was magical, like she was standing in the middle of one of those Hallmark Christmas movies her mom recorded for all of them to watch when they were together on Christmas break.

“It’s beautiful, Matthew,” she said, looking up at him as her head was resting against his chest. “Thank you for bringing us here.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing the top of her Flames beanie of his that she’d taken to wear. “Beautiful views for a beautiful girl.”

Riley laughed, shaking her head as she nudged him. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Jacob said the same thing when he saw that picture of us from the Super Bowl party taped up in my locker,” he smiled, shrugging. “And then I called him out for the same thing because I know he’s got a picture of him and Claire in there somewhere.”

“You have a picture of us in your locker?” She asked, blinking slowly. “Really?”

Matthew nodded. “I’ve got pictures of my parents and my grandparents and siblings too…all of the people that I love and who mean the world to me.”

“You’re such a cheeseball,” she laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his chest, reveling in the feeling of his arm around her as she looked out at the winter scene.

She always teased her mom and Claire for loving those Hallmark Christmas movies so much. There was something so ridiculous about the same storyline in different movies. Boy meets girl, girl ignores boy, some weird coincidence brings them together and they find that they’ve got a lot more in common than they thought and then the feelings start and everything seems so full of happiness and love. Then, the big climax of the movie, something goes wrong, but in the end it all works out. Every movie was so different, but also so similar. It was magical, romantic and now that she had Matthew…part of her understood why they loved those movies so much or why Claire seemed to always put herself all into her relationships.

Because here, right now with Matthew holding onto her as she stared out at the mountains and the trees with the snow falling around them, Riley had never felt more at peace than she did in this very moment.

DAY 150 – MAY 30TH, 2022 [ A MOST IMPORTANT DAY ]

She’d been here before– sitting in a stuffy auditorium surrounded by hundreds of students, wearing a not so comfortable robe and shifting every so often in her chair to make sure that her butt didn’t fall asleep while she listened to the speakers talk. She had her bachelor’s degree, so she knew how a graduation ceremony would go and how long it could take, but right now everything felt so different.

Her gown wasn’t so different than the one she wore when she got her bachelor’s degree, aside from the velvet that lined the master hood. Her cap was the exact same, though this time instead of it being decorated with a nod towards her next journey to the University of Calgary like her cap had been when she received her master’s, this one was decorated with light blue scrapbook paper that covered the black of the cap, sticky flowers on the two side corners and in the middle, in white painted letters (thanks to Claire), was a quote from One Tree Hill, many she had scoured over what to pick, but one that Matthew was found.

“So for now I say goodbye to this chapter of my life and I look forward to what comes next.”

A cap that was decorated with Kelsey and Claire sitting at the kitchen table in Matthew’s apartment, Jacob, Oscar and Matthew sitting in the living room and drinking beer, relaxing and sulking slightly at the way their season had ended only four days earlier. And like she had been feeling the weeks leading up to graduation, Riley sat there feeling a sort of mourning for the community she’d be leaving behind once she went back home to St. Louis once she graduated– scared of leaving behind her friends and the unknown of her future.

It was a feeling she’d tried to hide that she was experiencing it, but one that Matthew had called her out on many times and she’d expressed to him her doubts and fears and overall worries…which is why he suggested that quote, and how easily it fit in along with all of the times he’d talked her off the edge of fear.

And while that feeling had been hanging over her the moment she woke up that morning in her own apartment, having had a sleepover with Kelsey so the two could get ready together before heading off to campus to prepare for the ceremony, once she heard them announce her name, hometown and degree and crossed the stage, the cheers of her friends and family and classmates echoing in her ears….she felt hopeful. All she could think about was meeting up with her family afterwards, seeing the smiles on their faces. She looked forward to playfully teasing her parents about wanting to take so many pictures. Sure, she’d experienced this all too familiar feeling before…only this time, there was a big difference.

She’d be greeting Matthew as well.

When the ceremony came to an end and the cheers and applause of her peers, their friends and families and faculty alike bounced off of the auditorium walls, Riley was one of the first students to make a beeline for where they were instructed to pick up their actual paper diplomas from tables set off to the side. She was fourth in line at her respective last name table, assuming the other three students were sat right on the aisle of their rows and her phone was going off, presumably her family group chat texting her on where they would meet her once she made her way outside.

With diploma in hand (well, in the leather diploma folder), Riley maneuvered her way through the crowds of students and guests who were still filed into the auditorium, eager to get outside to meet up with everyone. Her eyes were squinting the moment she stepped outside into the summer day, the cap that was still on her head providing no shade for her eyes, leaving her to shield them from the hot sun using her free hand as she tried to see if she could spot anyone familiar.

“Riles!” She heard Matthew call out, yet she didn’t see him as she looked around. “Riles, over here!” His voice was a little louder now, allowing her to figure out what direction it was at least coming from. She looked to her right to see Matthew waving his left hand in the air and walking over to her with a smile on his face. Immediately she noticed that he was wearing her favorite shirt of his– the lavender dress shirt– coupled with gray slacks and the YSL belt she jokingly teased him for wearing all of the time. 

Riley walked in his direction, quickening her pace the closer she got before she reached him and jumped in his arms, wrapping her own around his neck and pressing her face into the side of his neck as he wrapped his left arm around her, supporting her. “Did they ditch you? I thought you were supposed to sit with Claire, Jacob and my parents?”

Matthew placed her back down onto the ground, keeping his left hand at the small of her back as he leaned down and kissed her before standing back up. “Well, when Oscar and I finally got a parking spot, Claire said some lady threw a huge fit about them saving two seats, so we ended up sitting on a whole different side of the auditorium with Kelsey’s family.”

“I’m surprised Claire didn’t throw her down the steps.”

“She sounded like she was a few seconds away from doing that when we were on the phone, but I told her it was fine and that I’d meet up with them,” he held out the bouquet of white daisies and deep pink, along with red roses and smiled. “These are for you. I know you don’t really like roses, but my mom lectured me about how I couldn’t not get my girlfriend roses on such a big day.”

“They’re beautiful, Matt,” Riley took a small whiff of the fresh flowers and looked back at him with a smile. “Thank you, and I’ll be sure to tell your mom thank you as well.”

“Please, because I’m 90 percent sure my dad stopped her from lecturing me about how roses aren’t just roses and all of the colors have different meanings…it was a lot,” he took a deep breath as he rested his hands on his hips and sighed, shaking his head. “But enough about that, let’s go find everyone!”

Riley held his hand as the two of them made their way over to the meeting spot that her family had agreed on beforehand– about halfway between the parking lot and the auditorium– and she couldn’t stop thinking about how this was going to be the moment where Matthew would meet her parents for the first time. A bad case of food poisoning mixed in with traveling had kept them from meeting Matthew when they flew in the day before what would be the last game of the Flames season. Then with end of season stuff, exit media and the chaos of upcoming graduation– there was just never a free time for them to meet.

Until now, and now, she was absolutely petrified of them meeting. She wasn’t all that sure why, because she’d seen her parents meet Jacob and both of Claire’s high school boyfriends, not to mention Brendan’s girlfriend. She knew her mom would be just as welcoming and heartfelt as Chantal was when Riley had met her and she knew that her dad would immediately play the tough guy, only to melt seconds later. She knew it, she’s seen it– and yet she was more nervous about Matthew meeting her parents than she had been about potentially tripping on stage when she walked across it.

She snuck a look at Matthew from the corner of her eye who was talking about how he and Oscar had spent all morning making sure the catering was confirmed to be delivered to Kelsey’s parents house since they were hosting the party and how he had no idea how his mom ever planned an entire party or why she enjoyed planning them so much because he was stressed only because of food that he wasn’t even in charge of cooking. She felt her nerves waver away as she zoned in on how he was swinging their conjoined hands at a comfortable pace and had his other hand snug in his pant pocket, walking with total confidence and grace that just seemed to be so infectious that it was somehow washing over her.

“Riley Anne Thompson you little genius!” Claire yelled, easily gaining their attention. She was standing straight ahead of them just a few feet away and waving her hands in the air. “Get your butts over here!”

Matthew chuckled and Riley looked up at him with a pout. “Stop it right now.”

“I just think it’s funny, you know? Your initials spell rat and everyone thinks I am one,” he squeezed her hand supportively. “Almost makes it seem like it was meant to be, hm?”

Once they got close enough, Matthew let go of Riley’s hand and nodded at her to hand him her diploma and flowers so she could hug her family. She wasted no time greeting each of her parents with a hug before moving onto her brother and then both Claire and Jacob. When the congratulations and the hugs were done, she turned around with a nervous smile and walked the small distance where Matthew had been standing and stood beside him with a proud smile.

“Mom, Dad, this is Matthew, my boyfriend” she smiled, looking away from Matthew and over to her parents. “Matthew, my mom and dad.”

“Otherwise known as Elizabeth and Michael,” her mom smiled, breaking the distance and greeting Matthew with a hug. “And we’ve heard a ton about you from Claire and Riley both. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am,” Matthew replied, hugging her before turning his attention to Riley’s dad as her mom pulled away from the hug, extending his hand out towards her dad. “And you too as well, sir.”

Riley swallowed the knot in her throat as she looked at her Dad, who, as predicted, was pulling his tough guy act with the squinty eyes and stone faced demeanor. She told Matthew not to be so polite and nervous, because she knew her Dad would see it coming from a mile away– and there they were…the slight awkward tension. She watched as her dad looked at Matthew’s hand and then back up at him before cracking a smile and reaching out to shake his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Matthew,” her dad said, adding another pure father moment by patting Matthew’s shoulder as well. “I’m glad to see that someone was finally able to break down those walls of Riley’s. I was starting to think that thing was going to surpass the great wall of China–”

“Michael!”

“Well, you survived the meeting,” Claire whispered, resting her chin on Riley’s shoulder and trying not to stifle a laugh. “Now all you’ve got to do is survive the party.”

“It’ll be fine,” Riley replied, shrugging as she looked back at Matthew who was now making small talk with their dad and brother. “I think they love him already.”

And things were fine, totally and beyond fine. Once they caught up with Kelsey, Oscar and her family, both groups made their way back to Kelsey’s parents home only a short distance away and from the moment they pulled up to the house and as the time ticked on, the party was in full swing. Riley got a front row seat to seeing her dad and Matthew talk about who knew what, but anytime she snuck a glimpse she felt her heart swell and she couldn’t help but smile and wonder if this feeling was what he meant by when he told her how much he loved seeing her get along with his mom and sister the first time they met and she sat with them at one of his games.

She sat back in enjoyment as she watched Matthew entertain some of Kelsey’s nieces and nephews with various yard games– limbo being the one where he dramatically fell to the ground to make all of the kids giggle because “you’re so bad at this! Look, it’s not that hard!” Or when he and Oscar gave a joint “proud boyfriend” speech after the proud parents had. How he and Jacob both accepted Bredan’s challenge of eating their wings the fastest, then proceeding to win and down her water when the heat got too much. Then getting her a refill, of course.

The drinks were flowing and as the sun started to set and everyone continued to have a good time, Riley was talking to Kelsey about their next steps. Kelsey had managed to get a job with a junior hockey team as a physical trainer in Calgary, following that she passed her certification and that she was also considering getting her PhD as well, though she wasn’t all too certain about that yet. She was excited for her friend to hear about all of the set plans that she had now that they had graduated, but Riley would be lying if she said she didn’t feel totally unprepared. Sure, she looked into jobs and applied. Some were here in Calgary, others were back home in St. Louis, but she’d yet to hear back from any of them. But she wouldn’t let that get in the way of how proud and happy she was for Kelsey. Especially since earlier before graduation when she saw her mentor, they had a conversation and her mentor said she would help look around for jobs she might be interested in.

Riley took a small sip from her beer bottle and was about to reply to Kelsey’s question about if she and Matthew had any summer plans when she saw the man of the hour himself come walking over from the back porch, smiling at her and making a ‘come here’ motion with his right hand as he held his beer in his left.

“It seems that I’ve been summoned by the needy boyfriend, so I’ll be right back,” she smiled, putting her beer down into the cup holder of her lawn chair and standing up, meeting him halfway as they stood by the bonfire. “Yes?”

Matthew held out his hand and nodded at it. “Grab my hand,” he brought his bottle up to his lips as he took another sip, watching and waiting for her to grab his hand.

“Why? What’s the trick?” She asked, hesitantly reaching her hand out.

He huffed, letting his smile fall as he looked at her. “Just grab it.” Riley placed her hand on his, eyeing him suspiciously as he just smiled and held her hand before pulling her closer and wrapping his left arm around her waist, looking down at her. “Gotcha, now you’ve gotta dance with me.”

“Matthew,” Riley whined, leaning her head back as she pouted. “You know I don’t like slow dancing.”

“Yeah, but I also know that you like slow dancing when it’s with me,” he smiled, nodding at her. “Now would it kill you to act like you love me and put your other hand on me?”

Riley smiled, shrugging. “It might.”

“You’re a brat.”

“Where do you think I learned it from?” Riley replied, rolling her eyes as she rested her right hand on his arm.

“Claire,” he replied, the two of them laughing soon after before letting it fade out as they both just swayed back and forth. “Oh look, I started a trend!”

Riley looked around them and saw that Oscar had grabbed Kelsey to dance, the same with Jacob and Claire and the parents. She shook her head, looking back at him. “Maybe everyone just got tired of standing around.”

“Orrrrr,” he smiled, stepping back and twirling her unsuspectingly. “They think we’re a cute couple and it’s super romantic and they too want to be cute and romantic.”

Riley just laughed as he brought her back into him, fanning his hand out against her back. “Okay, whatever you say.”

The two of them swayed there, Riley feeling herself start to relax against Matthew’s chest and starting to focus on the sound of his heartbeat echoing inside of his chest. “So are you going to tell me what had you so upset?” Matthew spoke quietly just so they could hear.

“Hm?” She asked, keeping her eyes closed as she zoned back in. “I wasn’t upset.”

“You looked upset while talking to Kelsey. That’s why I came off of the porch and swept you off your feet with my incredible dance moves.” He leaned himself back to look at her and tilted his head to the side slightly. “So?”

Riley opened her eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled, shrugging her shoulders. “We were talking about what we were going to do now that we were done with school and she was telling me about all the stuff she’s got set in stone and planned and I don’t know…I just felt,” she paused, shaking her head. “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No it’s not,” he replied, looking at her. “Your feelings aren’t dumb, Riles.”

“It’ll just make me sound like I’m jealous that she’s got all these plans set in stone, and maybe part of me is because I’ve applied to five jobs and haven’t heard a single whisper of news. But I’m not jealous, not really…I’m proud of her and happy for her because she’s my friend.”

“But you wish you had some sort of plan set in stone?”

“Exactly,” she mumbled, pouting slightly as she looked over to where Kelsey and Oscar were at. “But more than anything I’m happy for her, you know?”

“You’ll hear back soon, Riles. I just know it,” Matthew said, pulling her closer to him again. “And they’ll be lucky to have you.”

Riley rolled her eyes again in a playful manner as she tried to fight back her smile. “You have to say that, you’re–”

Matthew leaned in quickly, pressing his mouth against hers and cutting her words off with a kiss, pulling back just barely before kissing her two more times, smiling more into each one before he pulled back completely, a smile on his face as he rested his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. “Anyone would be lucky to have you work for them, Riles. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend. I mean it. You’re a catch, got it?”

Riley smiled, nodding her head. “Go it.”

“Good,” he replied, kissing her forehead before Riley moved her head down to his chest again and he held her close once more. “It’ll all work out, Riles. Everything you want in your life…it’ll all work out. I just know it.”

She smiled as she snuggled her head further against him, taking in the smell of his cologne and closing her eyes. She could picture it so easily– her working in her dream field, coming home from a day at work to their shared apartment, more vacations in Banff, matching playoff jackets with her sister and Kelsey…a life with Matthew at home in St. Louis and in their seasonal home in Calgary. She had been filled with so much self doubt just minutes earlier, but with Matthew’s assurance, she believed it could come true.

DAY 184 – JULY 4TH [ CURRENT DAY ]

“Ri?” Claire said, her voice sounding distant. “Riley!”

“Huh, what?” Riley asked, zoning back out of her thoughts as she looked at her sister who had finally stopped shaking her shoulder.

“I said we’re here.”

Riley looked out of her back passenger window to see the all too familiar apartment building. The knot that was in her stomach was now extending up to her throat as she stared at the building that Jacob was pulled up in front of, unable to get her brain to tell her hand to reach for her door handle to open the door and let herself out.

“You don’t have to do this right now, Ri,” Claire spoke softly, resting a hand on top of hers and giving it a light squeeze. “Jacob can always do it.”

“Yeah Riley,” Jacob spoke from the driver's seat, nodding his head as he turned slightly to look at her. “I can just drop it off for you when we go back to the apartment after dinner. I’ll drop you guys off and then come back here.”

The offer was enticing and for a moment, Riley considered taking it. But only for a moment, because it wasn’t just dropping it off that she needed to do, there was something else she needed to go if she was going to survive the rest of her summer and the months that followed.

She cleared her throat, shaking her head and exhaled. “No, that’s okay I–” she turned away from the window and looked at Claire, Jacob and Brendan. “I can do it.”

Brendan looked at Claire before looking back at Riley. “Are you—“

“Yes, Brendann…I’m sure.” She pulled on her door handle and opened the door, making sure she had her purse before she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car and stepping out into the sidewalk. “I’ll be right back and please…just stay here?”

They nodded and she shut the door behind her, turning back around and staring up at the apartment building she’d been to so many times. It was hard to believe that this would be the last time that she walked through those double doors and greet the receptionist behind the counter with a smile. If she remembered correctly, Shannon would be working today. She’d come to know all of the people who worked behind the desks' names, even from the few months she’d been around. They almost became like good friends to her, so it was weird that this would also possibly be the last time she ever saw any of them again.

Nervously, she pulled on the door handle and walked into the lobby of the apartment building, seeing that no one was standing behind the desk which she was extremely grateful for since that meant no awkward conversation was needed. She quickly walked across the lobby and towards the elevators, pressing the up arrow and sighing in relief when the doors opened immediately. She walked into the elevator, shutting the door behind her and holding the key fob against the scanner that allowed the elevator to move up to the residential floors before pressing number ten. The elevator moved slowly and she crossed her arms, hugging them to her chest as she leaned against the corner thinking about the last time she’d been in this building.

Two days ago in fact, and part of her didn’t want to come back here so soon but she knew that she was leaving Calgary tomorrow morning and while she could do what she was doing simply by mail…she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It seemed so impersonal, which things had never been.

Matthew’s family had come up to Calgary to take in some of the summer sights since the season was over. Riley loved his family and how down to earth they all were. She especially loved seeing the natural chirping and playful teasing between Matthew, his brother and their dad. His brother, Brady, had brought along his girlfriend and it was a short vacation in Calgary before everyone was headed off to Greece for their annual family vacation. A vacation that Riley would be joining, and one she was hesitant to when Matthew had originally invited her along because it was a family vacation and they’d only started dating. But he had said that he was going to ask her anyway after checking with his parents, but his parents beat him to the punch when his mom had asked publicly in the family group chat if he was going to bring her along.

Riley did insist on paying for her part in the trip, but both of his parents refused to accept her part, and she bargained to at least pay for her plane ticket— which she did. They were all out to dinner when Riley had stepped out because she’d gotten a missed call from her mentor. So she excused herself from the table and went outside of the restaurant to listen to the voicemail her mentor had left behind and when she was done listening to it— she stood there in disbelief.

The job her mentor had her apply for, one that Riley thought there was no chance in the world that she could get…well, she got it. Her mentor had called her to tell her that their contact with the hospital said that she had been chosen as one of the two other applicants to be hired to fill the pediatric occupational therapist positions they had available and thought she would pass the word on before they had sent her the official email, which she would get the next morning.

It was hard to explain how excited she was about the news. It’d been a little over a month since she’d graduated College and had yet to hear back from any of the jobs she applied to and yet there she was— getting her first piece of good news from the job she never thought she’d get hired on for. And then the nerves set in— Boston. She’d obviously have to move away from St. Louis and away from Calgary. And as she made her way back to dinner, she determined that she was too nervous to share the good news with everyone at the table. Because while announcing that she got a job was good news, announcing that she would be moving states away from her boyfriend didn’t seem like it would go over as well.

So…she saved the conversation for that night as her and Matthew were getting ready to go to bed. She had settled for the night before he did, he was still walking around his room and getting stuff ready for both his move back down to St. Louis for the summer, but also making sure he had whatever stuff he’d be packing for the trip to Greece later on. By the time he got into bed, he closed his eyes and just laid there, exhaling before opening his eyes and looking at her.

“What?” He asked, head and upper back leaning against his headboard.

“Hm?” She replied, zoning back in on him. “I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you’re staring at me.” He laughed, resting his hands on his stomach and interlocking his fingers. “I know I’m hot, but try not to get your drool all over my pillow, hm?”

Riley rolled her eyes and laughed. “I’ll try not to.”

He smiled softly, lolling his head to the side and looking at her. “But really Riles, what’s up? You’ve seemed…off all night, since we got to and left dinner, actually.”

She rested her own hands on top of the comforter, twiddling with her thumbs as she thought about what she was going to say. Her immediate thought was to just tell him that she was tired, because tonight had been so, so good and fun and relaxing, she didn’t want her announcement to make it all crash down. But she knew that wouldn’t be fair to him for her to tell him any other time than now, because after all…she didn’t know when it was that she’d need to move to Boston.

“Remember the group of jobs that my mentor had me apply for? And I told you there was one that was way out of my league and I didn’t think I’d get it, but she had me apply anyway?” Riley spoke, looking at her hands.

“Yeah, did you hear back from any of them?” He sounded so nonchalant and the fact that he wouldn’t see this coming was enough for the familiar feeling of prickling tears to start to form in her eyes.

“I did, right before dinner. She called and uh, well…I got the job that I didn’t think I’d get,” she said, swallowing the knot in her throat as she looked at him. “The one in Boston…I–I got it.”

He sat himself up, a big smile on his face. “What? Riles, that's awesome!” He reached over and draped his arm over her shoulders, tugging her into him as he hugged her, pulling back and looking at her again. “I’m so proud of you, this is great! Why didn’t you say anything at dinner? That’s something to celebrate!”

Riley just stared at him, not wanting to say the words. The silence spoke what she couldn’t say and like a movie, she watched the realization dawn on him and if hearing him be so excited for her and proud of her wasn’t enough to make the burning feeling of tears in her eyes stronger, it was seeing his proud, beaming smile start to fade. Back when she had applied for jobs, most of which were either in St. Louis or Calgary, they had a conversation about what they were going to do with their relationship. Matthew had done long distance before and in his eyes, it was just something that never worked out, even if both parties tried their best to make it work.

St. Louis was one thing, but Boston was another. He lived in St. Louis three to four months out of the year. If she stayed there, things could have been easier, just like they would have been easier if she got a job in Calgary. But Boston? Sure, he had family there, but they only visited once or twice a year, many times in the summer. The summer was his time to relax at home with his friends and family, catch up on what he missed while he was in Calgary for the previous eight to nine months. It wasn’t realistic to ask of him to sacrifice any time at home, to spend his summer with her in Boston so they could have time together too.

The thought of the end had been in her mind the moment what Boston really meant had sunken in as she had walked back to their dinner table earlier.

This, her and Matthew, the last five to six months– it was done.

“Say something,” she whispered, feeling her bottom lip tremble as the tears blurred her vision. “Please?”

“Do you know when you have to be there?” He asked, clearing his throat as he tried to wipe away any sign of disappointment that she’d already seen.

Riley shook her head, sitting herself up fully and sitting criss cross applesauce, keeping her hands rested in her lap. “No, I’ll probably find out tomorrow because that’s when I’m supposed to get the official email.”

“Well, we can hold off for a few months until you have to move, right?” He nodded, clearing his throat again before taking a deep breath and exhaling, placing his left hand on top of her hands. “Unless that’s something you don’t want to do? What do you want to do, Riles?”

Oh, he must’ve seen her reaction to that suggestion. It wasn’t a bad one, but it wasn’t an eager nod…it was more of a frown, like she knew it wasn’t going to work. “I don’t know,” she spoke softly, holding onto his hand as she looked at him. “Any chance your whole view on long distance relationships changed?”

The shake of his head was subtle, but enough to send her heart plummeting in her chest. There was no holding back the tears that had been filling her eyes from falling down her face as the reality sank in. How was this the way everything was going to end? Why were these cards handled? What kind of being running the universe would put them on the other’s path and then split them to go down separate ways just when everything was going great? Neither of them wanted to end their relationship, but there was no way that would work out for them if they chose to stay in it? The hopelessness of it all felt like it was pulling her down and she was clawing at the surface for small gasps of air so she could make it through this unscathed.

“I–” he paused, clearing his throat as he kept his focus on their hands, an intense focus that Riley recognized as his attempt not to cry. He kept that same focus the first time they watched Dear John together, because she’d never seen it.

She bawled like a baby, he came close to, but was trying very, very hard not to.

“I don’t want you to not be excited about this,” he spoke slowly and clearly, trying to keep his voice clear from emotion. “Because this is big Riles, this is what you’ve been working for. And I know that right now, this…this sucks, but this is what you want to do, you know? This job…this is it.”

Riley sniffled as she reached up with her left hand and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. “I don’t want to– this,” she sniffled again, shaking her head. “I don’t want this to e-end, but Matt–”

“I know,” he said, breaking his concentration on her hands and looking at her, tears in his eyes. “But I would be doing you a huge disservice if I let this continue on, because Riles…I don’t want it to end either, but I’d rather it end where we both still love each other than rather we try to stick it out and we end up hating each other because the distance doesn’t work.”

Tears continued to roll down her face as her mouth trembled. Matthew reached up with his left hand and wiped her cheeks before keeping his hand against her cheek. “I can’t even imagine a life where I don’t think you’re the greatest person in the world.”

She leaned herself over into his arms, curling up against his chest and letting him wrap his arms around her as he held her while she cried. The sobs were quiet, as she didn’t want to wake up Taryn, who was sleeping on the couch just outside of his bedroom door, but they were heavy sobs escaping from the depths of her chest she hadn’t even known existed. Sobs that were shaking her body as they exited her mouth and vibrated against his chest where she had her face pressed into his shirt. Matthew just held her, resting his cheek on top of her head and rubbing her back, letting her cry as he tried not to let her know he was crying too. But she could hear the difference in his breathing and feel the deep vibrations in his chest from him trying his best to hold in his own, small sobs.

Once they both calmed down, she pulled herself out of his arms and wiped her eyes with her hands, sniffling and looking at him. Only the moment he made eye contact with her, the waterworks were working again. “It’s just a right person wrong time, thing Riles. We’ll figure it out,” he said, reaching out and tucking hair behind her ear. “These things always work out, you’ve read enough of those books of yours to know this.”

“I love you,” she sniffled, wiping at her eyes as the tears kept falling.

Matthew smiled softly, leaning in and holding his right hand at the back of her head as he kissed her forehead. “I love you too, Riles.” He rested his forehead against hers before kissing it again and then pulling back with teary eyes and his dimpled smile. “Does this mean Taryn and I are about to fifth and sixth wheel our parents and Brady and Emma’s Greece vacation?”

Riley laughed, sniffling again as she nodded. “Probably. I don’t think…I mean, Greece it wouldn’t–”

“Relax, Riles…I understand,” he nodded, his smile falling into a smaller one. “But hey, just because we’re not dating anymore doesn’t mean we can’t still try to be friends, right?”

God, hearing the word friends was so heart crushing, even if she’d known this possibility was in the running. “Does that even work?” She asked, wiping her nose. “In the movies it alway goes wrong–”

“Well, we wouldn’t try to be friends right away, because that definitely wouldn’t work,” he said, shaking his head. “But…maybe we can try to take a break for a bit from talking to each other? A month or two? Then we can try to talk on a friendly, non-romantic, I want to rip off your clothes and jump your bones, basis?”

This time Riley laughed a genuine laugh. The stomach cramping, butterflies laugh only Matthew could make her do. “You’re a dork,” she smiled, nudging him as she settled down and took a deep breath, exhaling. “But yeah…I guess we can try that. There’s no harm right? And it should be easy. We became friends before dating–”

“Well, technically I tried to make friends with you at the bar and you shut me down.”

“You were flirting with me from the start, don’t even try it,” she smiled, pointing at him before letting her hand rest back into her laugh with a sniffle. “But really, Matthew…I want to try it. Because this,” she motioned between them. “This friendship and relationship felt really special, and I don’t want to lose that.”

“It’s a deal then,” Matthew smiled, extending out his hand for her to shake. “A month with no contact whatsoever, and then we’ll come back and try to be friends, right?”

Riley looked at his hand, realizing that if she shook it, it would seal the deal on her relationship with Matthew ending. But she meant what she said, this was special and she didn’t want to lose it. So she grabbed his hand and shook it, nodding her head. “It’s a deal.”

“Great,” he smiled softly, still shaking her head.

“Great,” she replied, feeling him squeeze her hand before he let it go. She took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling the dried tears on her face and the congestion in her nose from sniffling. “I need a shower, I feel all…gross.”

Matthew tossed his blankets to the side, nodding his head. “I’ll set you out a towel and start it for you. You can toss your stuff in the hamper and–”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” She asked, getting out of bed and following him into the bathroom. “Just one last time, please? We don’t have to do anything, but–”

“Of course, Riles,” he nodded, smiling as he opened the shower door and reached in, turning the water on. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

The ding of the elevator brought Riley out of her thoughts and she looked up to see the red 10 signaled on the screen, meaning she’d finally reached the floor where Matthew’s apartment was. She stepped off of the elevator and dug into her purse to find her copy of his apartment key, grasping the red rubber spiral keychain that the key was on in her hand hard enough to where she could feel it leaving an imprint in her palm. She felt herself start to slow down as she reached his apartment, her feet feeling heavy and her heartbeat slowing in pace until she found herself face to face with his door.

She knew he wasn’t home, Jacob himself said that Matthew was out with his parents doing some sightseeing until later tonight. They’d be flying out the day after tomorrow, when Riley would already be back home in St. Louis. She was thankful that they weren’t all flying out the same day. It was awkward enough yesterday morning after she’d left before breakfast and Matthew was left to tell Taryn and then his parents, Brady and Emma alone about why she had gone and how their relationship was no more and she’d no longer be in attendance on their family vacation. She really didn’t need to have a run in on the same flight either.

Riley pulled the key out of her purse, unlocking the door and opening it. She paused in place, listening in for any sound of life within the apartment, just in case the plans had changed, but she was greeted with silence. In relief, Riley walked into the apartment and shut the door behind her, turning back to face the open apartment and standing in place. Matthew had given her some time yesterday afternoon to come by with Claire and grab the stuff she had here, so she knew nothing of hers was here– but it still felt like home.

There wasn’t a single space in this apartment that she could look at and now have some sort of memory or picture a moment that she and Matthew had shared. She slowly walked further into the apartment, bypassing the bar counter and the kitchen table where she had opted to leave what she came to leave, there. But instead, she made her way to his bedroom, not wanting it to be so public whenever it was that he came across it. At least here, he would have some privacy.

She walked over to his bed and placed her copy of his apartment key down onto the blue comforter, reaching back into her purse and pulling out an envelope with his name on it. Inside of it was a letter that she’d written to him. It talked a lot about how she was thankful that he’d come into her life and that she was sorry for ignoring him that night at the bar. It brushed over the memories that they made and how much fun she’d had in the few short months, even describing how those months felt like a lifetime in the best possible way. She had signed off with a ‘see you in a month, I promise I won’t ignore you this time when you try to be my friend’ and a smiley face followed by a simple signature of her name, ‘Riley.’ But at the very bottom of the letter was a separate sign off. A p.s. note that she felt, despite their attempts to be friends, she felt was needed.

“P.S. Thank you for showing me how I deserved to be loved. Just know that you will always be the first guy I’ve ever genuinely and rightfully loved. Love Always, Riles.”

She pulled one last thing out of her purse, the copy of ‘Dear John’ that she had bought after he made her watch the movie. As someone who almost always preferred to read the book first before watching any tv or movie adaptation, Matthew insisted that she forgo the whole process and just watch the movie with him. Little did he know, she was already ordering it off of Amazon and read it in one sitting once it arrived at her apartment. On the cover, she left a sticky note with a simple message of “now read the book, i promise it’s just as good :)” followed by a bunch of page numbers, but only two of which were highlighted, simply because they were two of her now favorite quotes that just seemed oh so fitting for their situation, ironic too since it was one of his favorite movies.

“In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, a place that I will carry with me forever and that no one can replace” and “Our story has three parts; a beginning, a middle and an end. And while that’s how all stories play out, I still can’t believe ours didn’t last forever.”

Cheesy? Sure, but she knew that he would find some appreciation for it. Once she made sure that he would be able to find them, she took a deep break and looked around the room one last time. This was where everything had come to an end, in this very room. Where she cried and cried until she fell asleep on her last night here in his arms. It should hurt her heart being in this room, but just like stepping foot into his apartment…it felt like home. A warm, fuzzy feeling was inside of her chest, trying its best to cover up the ache and the heaviness she’d been feeling nonstop since later Saturday night. She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath before opening them and exhaling, taking the first step to walk out of his room and not letting herself stop and slow down to take in the apartment one last time, because then she knew she would have the hardest time trying to leave.

When she opened the door, she turned the small lock on the inside doorknob so the door would lock behind her and she paused in place. It was hard trying to convince herself not to take one last look, but she caved in, wanting to say goodbye even just in her mind to a place that’d become a safe place for her. She only allowed herself a few moments before she walked out of the apartment and shut the door behind her, making sure that it was locked. Then, she booked it like hell to the elevator, never taking another look, not even when she got into the elevator, forcing herself to stand in front of the buttons as she pressed the lobby button, her lack of having the key fob keeping her from going onto any other floor, even though she wasn’t going to.

The moment the elevator doors opened on the lobby, she kept her focus straight ahead where she could still see Jacob’s car parked out front. She bypassed the still empty receptionist desk and quickened her pace, feeling her heart race in her chest as she pushed open the door and walked out into the summer heat, the sunlight hitting her face and making her squint her eyes. Her chest was rising and falling fast as if she was suffocating with the memory she was leaving behind as she left the apartment one last time. And once she stood outside, she was able to take a deep breath, feeling her chest fully expand and deflate as she exhaled.

“Hey Ri, you good?” Brendan asked, his window rolled down as he now sat in her seat.

“Yeah,” she nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling again before turning back and looking over her shoulder at the apartment building, her eyes instantly going to where the tenth floor would be. “I think I will be.”

DAY 203 – JULY 22ND, 2022 [ TRICKED RECONCILIATION ]

“I already told you earlier” Riley said, looking at Claire and Brendan as she laid her book down onto her stomach. “I don’t want to go and you can’t make me. I’m literally 24-years-old.”

Brendan snorted, leaning in her doorway. “I told you she wouldn’t go, I don’t know why you bothered trying to–”

Claire turned around to face their younger brother, pointing at him. “Go wait in the living room, we’ll be right out.”

“Fine,” Brendan held his hands up in defense as he stood up straight and turned around and walked down the hall and eventually down the stairs and out of view, leaving just Riley and Claire there in Riley’s room.

Claire double checked to make sure he was out of sight before she closed the bedroom door behind her and then made her way over to Riley’s closet. “You’re wasting your time, Claire–”

“No, you’re wasting your time,” Claire replied, opening her closet doors and skimming through the clothes. “I know you’re still upset about the way things ended with Matthew but you leave for Boston in a month and a half and you haven’t done anything besides lay in bed and read your books since you got home from Calgary.”

“I’m not upset about Matthew,” Riley said, resting her book down and staring at Claire. “I mean sure, it’s not all sunshine and daisies, but I’ve accepted that life isn’t fair and the situation overall sucks but there’s nothing that I can do about it. I did my crying, I’ve accepted it and now I’m just going to wait until it’s time to leave for Boston and enjoy my favorite things while I do.” She picked her book back up and turned the page. “Now get your nose out of my closet and go to that party.”

“Ri, I love you a lot. You’re my sister and my best friend, we’ve spent our entire lives together. We grew up together and we know each other better than anyone else in this world. So I don’t know why you think you can pull this ‘I’m fine’ bullshit over on me. Because if anyone knows you’re not fine, it’s me.” She grabbed an off the shoulder shirt and tossed it at Riley’s feet, a pair of jeans following after and then she closed the closet and walked over to her dresser, grabbing a strapless bra and adding that onto the pile. “So get up, get dressed and meet Brendan and I out in the living room in ten minutes or so help me God, I will drag you out of bed and to the party looking exactly like this, by your hair.”

Riley sat there as she watched Claire open the bedroom door and walk through it, shutting it behind her once more. On one hand, she knew Claire was right. Her time here at home was dwindling down fast and before she knew it, she’d be in her new apartment in Boston, alone. But on the other hand, she just wanted to spend her time, especially at night, doing the things she enjoyed. Things that filled her time and preoccupied her mind from drifting off onto wondering what Matthew was doing or how their vacation to Greece went. If he was back home now or if he went off on another trip with friends.

She bookmarked her page and set the book off to the side before tossing her blankets off and getting out of bed. Grabbing the clothes Claire had set out, Riley changed over to the jeans and shirt, getting dressed into real clothes that weren’t sweatpants and a t-shirt for the first time all day. She took the time to get herself ready and looking like she hadn’t just spent so many hours locked away in her room, lying in bed and reading a book before she left her room, seeing Claire and Brendan sitting there, both looking surprised.

“Well damn, you actually did it,” he said, looking at Claire and uncrossing his arms. “Well, let’s get going, yeah?”

He walked towards the front door, Riley standing there as Claire came up beside her and draping her arm over her shoulders with a smile. “You’ll have fun tonight, Ri, I promise.”

Maybe Riley’s idea of fun and Claire’s idea of fun were close, but not the same. Sure, it was nice to see some of her friends from high school and some of Claire and Brednan’s friends too at the house of one of Riley’s friends. Their city was large, but small. Everyone here had a sixth degree relationship with someone else.

And that's something Riley should’ve remembered when she saw Matthew standing inside talking to one of her and Claire’s friends from high school. At first, she had to convince herself that it wasn’t actually him, she was just imagining it. But when he leaned his head back and laughed, she felt something squeeze around her heart, because she’d know that dimpled smile anywhere. She stopped herself from going inside to grab herself a soda, instead walking around the backyard to try and find Claire or Brendan to tell them that Matthew was here and she wanted to go home.

Yet somehow, they were nowhere to be found and she was left to figure it out herself. She texted their sibling group chat, sending an ‘SOS, need to talk’ message before sitting herself down on the edge of the pool and rolling her pant legs up as high as she could before dipping her feet into the cool water. It was only a little over a week away before their one month of not seeing each other or talking was to come to an end. Then they could try to be friends again, but the feeling inside of her chest and her racing heart was telling her that a month wasn’t enough.

That maybe they would need more time, or God forbid, not be able to be friends at all.

“Hey…” She felt her pulse in her throat as she looked up to see Matthew standing there to her left, his hands buried deep into his shorts pockets.

“Hey,” she replied, smiling softly as she motioned for him to take a seat. “You can sit…if you want.”

She watched as he hesitated for a moment before nodding and taking his hands out of his pockets and sitting himself down next to her, taking his flip flops off and placing them down next to her before putting his feet into the pool. They sat there in silence for a few moments, the party in the background filling the silence between them.

“How was the trip to Greece?” She asked, breaking the silence and swallowing the knot in her throat. “I saw the pictures…but how was it?”

“Good, it was good, a lot of fun,” he nodded, holding his bud light in his hand. “It would’ve been a lot more fun with you there, but you know…it was still a good time. How have you been?”

“Good,” she nodded, looking at him and shrugging. “Just a lot of shifting through stuff. My mom’s trying to get rid of half of my things, I think she’s planning on turning my bedroom into a craft room or something.”

“Mom’s tried that with Brady’s room a couple of times,” he laughed softly. “Said we’ve shared a room before, we can share one again.”

“You might not have to worry about that longer though, I saw he and Emma got engaged. I wanted to text him and congratulate him, but…you know.”

“Yeah, it’s about time too. I swear they’re practically married though,” he laughed, taking a sip of his beer. “I’ll tell them you said congratulations though.”

“Thanks,” she nodded, playing with her hands in her lap and kicking her feet in the water.

Matthew finished his drink and cleared his throat, looking at the can and then at her. “Would you want to come with me to get a refill? So we can keep catching up and I won't lose you in the crowd?”

Something inside of her told her maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but it was greatly overshadowed by the feeling of missing him for the last twenty days. “Yeah, okay,” she smiled and nodded her head.

Matthew stood himself up and reached his hand out to help her stand up too. He held her hand for a few seconds longer even after she was standing up, but then he let go and the two of them made their way into the house. Over the music they talked about what they’d been up to since they last saw each other. Matthew had gone into more detail about the Greece vacation, the sights they saw, the food and drink, renting a boat for a day and how clear the water had been. He told her that she would’ve loved it and she agreed, she would have. She told him that she wished she would’ve gone.

One of their mutual friends, which turned out to be one of her friends from high school’s brother, who was a friend of Matt’s, tried to get them to join in on some drinking game which had everyone already playing, giggling and laughing as they watched two people trying to down their drinks faster than the other. But Matthew just grabbed her hand and led her away from the group so they’d stop trying to lure them in. When they finally stopped walking, they found themselves in one of the few quiet rooms in the house– a room that looked like it was a guest room.

Riley would be lying if she said that her heart wasn’t racing and her body temperature wasn’t rising at the mere fact that she was alone in a bedroom with Matthew for the first time in months. But like he always did, he was able to bring her at ease but just…talking. They talked about her move to Boston, how she found an apartment and was set to move in in late August, early September. How she had started to talk to the two other co-workers she was hired on the same job announcement with and that they seemed like really nice people. He told her again, just how happy he was and proud he was of her for getting the job and that he knew she’d do great things.

It felt like no time between them had passed at all and they were both sitting on the bed, laughing and talking like they hadn’t broken up and were doing a horrible job at trying to be friends– when the tension that they had was still so heavy and clear, that it was hard not to notice. So maybe that’s why after the laughter had simmered down, she leaned in and kissed him before quickly pulling back, ready to apologize.

And maybe that’s why, instead of letting her apologize and agreeing that it wasn’t the best idea, Matthew cupped her face and leaned back in, kissing her back.

They both knew that what they were doing wasn’t the best idea. This would set them back again on their journey to being friends. With each layer of clothing that was removed, it was another chip away at the shield she had put up to protect her heart and herself after their break up. She would once again have that aching, open wound she’d need to nurse back to health once it was all said and done.

For right now though, she didn’t care. Because all she’s wanted since that night in his apartment, was to have one more night or day or hour or minute to be in his arms. To kiss him again. And now that she was here, in this moment and getting what her heart had been wishing for the last three weeks…she never wanted it to end.

But it had to, and when they laid there together after it was all over– just like before, it felt like nothing had changed. He had his arm draped over her and she was curled into his side and laying her head on his chest. ‘This is how it’s supposed to be, right here…just us.’ She thought and kept repeating that thought in her head, even as there was that aching feeling in her chest that knew it wasn’t going to last.

Riley wasn’t sure of how long they laid there for, not long enough for the party to be over because they could still here the muffled sounds of music and the guests from the other side of the locked door. But long enough to where she knew that if they didn’t leave the room now, their lack of presence would be noted by those who knew of their relationship. So she was the first one who made the move to get up out of bed and start to get dressed, Matthew following soon after her as they didn’t speak. And suddenly she found herself regretting her choice to get dressed, because laying there in silence was so much better than getting dressed in silence.

“Oh…” he said, picking up her shirt which had soaked up the remainder of his beer that had been spilled at some point while they were undressing. “You can’t wear this, it reeks of beer. Here,” he took off his shirt, an old London Knights one she’d worn time and time before as a pajama shirt. “You can wear mine.”

“Thanks,” she said, putting on his shirt and then taking her beer soaked shirt from him balling it up and shoving it in her purse.

“Riles…” God she missed hearing him call her that, it was her favorite thing in the world she’d come to find. But right now, she wished he was calling her anything else. “I…maybe we just got a little too ahead of ourselves with this…trying to be friends, you know?”

She could feel the tears burn in her eyes as she choked them back, trying not to let the knot in her throat stop her from taking deep controlled breaths. “Mhhm.”

“It’s just…it’s too soon and then this,” he shook his head, exhaling. “I don’t regret this at all, Riles. Because I love you, I do. But I don’t, I’m not sure if I can be your friend and love you at the same time.”

Riley just nodded again, making the first move towards the door as he followed behind. “I get it, I do.”

“So maybe,” he took another deep breath and exhaled, putting his hands in his pockets again. “Maybe, it’s going to take a lot longer…and maybe we shouldn’t–”

“Matthew, please,” she said, shaking her head. “You don’t need to say it, I understand what you’re saying, I promise. Thank you for everything, and I don’t regret this either and I love you.” She felt the knot in her throat choke her for a second before she cleared it and nodded, turning away from him. “I think I’m just going to go home.”

He nodded, and reached around her, unlocking the door and opening it before stepping aside and letting her leave the room. She heard the door close behind her soon after, probably to let himself wait a bit before he left the room as to avoid any speculation, though that was going to be hard considering he was left shirtless and she was wearing his shirt. She made her way outside after not seeing Claire or Brendan anywhere in the living room and kitchen, eventually catching sight of Brendan standing off by the jacuzzi. She walked over as fast as her feet would take her, clutching her purse and her shirt against her and fighting like hell to keep the tears from falling.

“Hey Ri,” Brendan smiled, his smile falling once she got closer. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to go home,” she spoke softly, Brendan ushering her off to the side and away from friends so they could speak privately. “Matthew’s here a-and I just want to go home.”

“Of course he’s here,” he said, looking confused. “Didn’t Claire tell you he was going to be here?”

She looked at him, confused and taken aback when she felt a pair of arms around her shoulders and someone resting their chin on her shoulder. “Hi little sister, are you having fun?” Claire smiled, letting her arms fall to the side when Riley stepped out of them. “What’s wrong?”

“You knew he was going to be here?” Riley asked, her bottom lip trembling.

Claire’s smile falling into a frown told Riley everything that she needed to know. “Wow,” she huffed, shaking her head. “Out of everyone, I thought that you would understand how it would make me feel to see him again. I told– I cried to you about everything and you…” she stopped, sniffling and shaking her head again. “I’m going home.”

“I’ll drop you off and come back,” Brendan said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder before looking at Claire and walking with Riley as they left the poolside area of the backyard and through a backyard fence.

When they made it to the front of the house, Brendan dug into his pockets to grab the keys and as they made their way to the car, Riley spotted Matthew getting into the backseat of what she presumed to be an uber. And soon she realized, as she watched the uber slowly drive away…that this was how life was going to be from now on. No more Matthew. And just like the uber had drifted off into the distance and out of view, he too would eventually fade from her thoughts.

And the peace he brought would go along with him.

DAY 244 – SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2022 [ A PEACEFUL REALIZATION ] *EPILOGUE*

“Well Riley, I have to say that your apartment looks quite nice,” her dad smiled, taking a look around the living room and the furniture they’d set up to make the 800 square foot apartment feel a little more homey.

“Thanks, Dad,” she laughed, sitting on one of the bar stools at her counter. “But I meant it when I said you guys can’t stay here tonight. You’ve stayed here the last two nights helping me set up, but now it’s time for me to spend my first night alone in my apartment.”

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” Brendan teased, resting his hands on her shoulders. 

In the 41 days since that night when she’d last seen Matthew…a lot had changed. For the first two weeks, she and Claire were at odds. It didn’t help that Claire had also gone off to Sweden to visit Jacob’s family for a week, but when she came back, she had apologized to Riley for what she had done. Telling her that her reasoning was that she knew how much she’d missed Matthew and she knew that Matthew had missed her too– and that maybe, if they’d gotten back together that they would be able to see a new solution through.

All she wanted was for her sister to feel better again, she wanted the best for her little sister and though she went about it the wrong way, she was still sorry for doing it and hiding Matthew’s attendance at the party from her. She spent the rest of August spending at much time with her family in between packing and sending emails to work to set up and confirm her first day and what she’d need to bring.

She was nervous to be moving from home, but at the same time she was excited. This was something she had worked for her entire life and she was finally on the journey to reaching it. It was something new and unknown, but that adventure made it nerve wracking…and thanks to Matthew, she’d learned that sometimes, those nerves when you’re about to do something for the first time…were just excitement hiding in the wings.

Her family and Jacob had tagged along to help her drive to Boston at the end of August and have spent the last three days with her, helping her unpack and set up her apartment. Tomorrow afternoon, they’d be flying back home and she’d be in the city of Boston all alone. But tonight, tonight was going to be her first night in her apartment alone– and she was both looking forward to it and hating it at the same time.

“Okay, so we’ll go get in the car so we can go to dinner,” Claire said, as their parents and Brendnan made their way to the front door. “Do you mind waiting for Jacob when he comes out of the bathroom?”

“Not at all, we’ll be right down there,” Riley smiled, waving them off as she spun herself on her barstool.

Shortly after, Jacob came walking out of the bathroom, looking around confused. “Did they leave us?”

“They’re just in the car,” Riley said, hopping off the stool. “But since I’ve got you here, I thought I’d ask…how the convo with our parents go?”

He smiled, nodding his head as they left her apartment. “Really good, they loved the ring. Said that Claire would love it too.”

“I told you she would,” Riley smiled, bumping into him as she looked her apartment behind them. “You sure you’re ready to be a part of the family? I mean…have you met us?”

“I have and you guys are great,” he laughed, bumping her back.

A little bit after their trip to Sweden, Jacob had facetimed Riley asking if he could get her opinion on something. And when she answered, he showed that he was at a jewelry store in Sweden, where he was staying with family a little longer and said that he was wanting to pick out an engagement ring for Claire, but wanted a little insight onto which she might like. She helped him pick it out and when he came into St. Louis the night before they drove up to Boston, he sat their parents down and asked for their permission to marry Claire.

Things had been so hectic that Riley hadn’t been able to get Jacob alone long enough to ask him how it had all gone, but now that they had a little bit of time, she took full advantage of it.

“Is the plan still the same?”

“Mhhm,” Jacob nodded, a fond smile on his face. “I’m going to take her to Lake Louise when we get back to Calgary, just where we went on our first date and then I’m going to ask her. Hopefully she says yes.”

“She’ll definitely say yes,” Riley smiled, nodding her head. “She really loves you.”

“Thanks, Riley, that means a lot,” he replied, the elevator doors opening into the lobby and them walking out. “And I know you guys had a bit of a falling out, but she loves you a lot and never meant to hurt your feelings. You know her, she just…wants everyone to be happy and puts it on herself to make sure they are.”

Riley nodded, sucking in her lips at the mention of their falling out. She felt nervous, but she knew that the nagging feeling wouldn’t go away until she asked, because she knew that the two of them were still in touch. “So…do you know how he’s doing? I haven’t really kept up with the hockey stuff because…you know.”

“He’s good,” Jacob replied, hesitating himself as he took a deep breath and Riley knew he was unsure if he wanted to answer. “He’s excited about going to Florida–”

“FLORIDA?” She asked, eyes wide. “What? Since when?”

“Um…maybe end of July? Right around the time you and Claire had your falling out. He got traded to the Panthers.”

Riley remembered him mentioning about how he and his agent were in talks with the Flames about his contract, but he seemed so hesitant to talk about it and not in the mood too, like something was bothering him and she knew she didn’t want to push further about it so she didn’t. She had no idea that days later he’d be traded.

“Wow, that’s…big,” she said, crossing her arms. “Is he Captain?”

“No, but I don’t doubt he’ll work his way up to it…you know Chucky. He’s really excited to be down there since he’s got an old teammate who plays for them. I think it’ll be a good change for him.”

Riley nodded, not continuing the conversation as they walked out of the apartment building and found her parents rental car, getting inside.

She tried not to let the news be forefront in her brain for the rest of dinner. This was her last night with her family and she wanted to soak up every second of it, especially since she knew that in just short of a week, Claire and Jacob would be back in Calgary and engaged. She knew she was going to miss having them just right there in the same room and knew she’d have to adjust to them being a phone call away instead. She was successful in turning her focus towards them, and by the end of dinner when they dropped her off at her apartment building, her stomach was hurting from laughing so hard.

It was the first time she’d laughed that hard since her break up with Matthew.

There was no fighting from keeping him out of her mind as she made her way into the elevator and the heavy metal slowly climbed the stories to her apartment floor– floor number ten, go figure. But she held it off until she was in the safety of her own apartment, letting the emotions flow out of her as she leaned against the door and sighed.

The silence was loud as she moved through her new apartment, trying to adjust to the layout. She walked over to her keurig, filling it up and placing a mug onto it to make herself something hot to drink. While she waited, she walked back to her room and got undressed, switching over into some pajama pants and an all too-familiar shirt that she’d tried to give back before she left, but allowed herself to keep it since it had been in her possession for weeks, and she knew for a fact that if she even tried to return it, she’d be told to keep it.

It had slowly turned into her favorite shirt the way that the cotton had been washed and dried so many times that the green and white in the Knights logo had started to crack and the material was soft against her skin.

She put on her slippers and walked back out of her room, over to the kitchen where she could see the steam rising from her Banff souvenir mug. Picking it up, she walked back out of the kitchen and over to her balcony door, sliding it open before walking out into the cool night air and shutting the door just barely behind her. She sat down in her chair, taking in the sight of the city lights all around her and the sounds of the traffic and people walking below brought her ease.

Riley brought out her phone, unlocking it and opening her instagram app. Typing in his username, she brought up Matthew’s profile and allowed herself to scroll through his pictures. The last time she’d seen it, it was before their meet up at the party when he’d posted pictures of the Greece trip. Matthew wasn’t one for posting on social media too much, so in that time, he’d only posted four things. One was a tribute video to his time in Calgary, another was a picture of him sitting at a press conference with the Florida Panthers logo behind him, wearing a polo and his dimpled smile. Another was a photo montage of what looked like a boys golfing trip, which Riley laughed at because of course. And his most recent, just a few weeks prior, was an action shot of him in the white and red panthers uniform. It was a far stretch from his red with Calgary…but it fit him well.

Out of habit, she found herself looking up at the sky, seeing the stars that the city lights hadn’t managed to outshine and when she blinked…for a split second…she thought she saw a shooting star.

As the thought passed, she smiled to herself and took a sip of her hot chocolate, looking at the mug once she was finished and leaned further back into her chair. Shortly after their run in at the party, she unfollowed him on instagram as a way to try and cleanse him from her life. A way to make the transition easier for her. But what Riley had discovered was that this was how life was going to be from now on. Sure, there was no more Matthew in her day to day life, no more random texts or facetime calls or phone calls, not even an instagram comment or a snapchat. But there was no cleansing him out of her life.

He left a big mark on her and in her life. He was the first boy she had ever loved and who loved her back, who taught her what it felt like to be loved. He was special, important. She could never push him out of her life. So while he was here for just a short while and gone in a flash, just like a shooting star…he was always going to be there in her memories.

And one day, she’d have to come to terms with that, but for now…it was just nice to think back and smile on the memories anytime a little piece of him popped up in her daily life.

He was everywhere and that was okay, because he had loved her and she loved him too and one could never easily forget it.

#again this is a fic i wasn't even sure i was going to post #just bc its kinda self indulgent when i wrote it ((and it was never a hockey fic)) #so a lot of editing and adding shit went into it #but just know that yk this fic stemmed from me trying to basically come to terms w a break up and it was my healthy way #of getting my emotions and feelings out!!!! #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk writing #matthew tkachuk one shot #matthew tkachuk oneshot #florida panthers one shot #florida panthers writing #florida panthers imagine #florida panthers oneshot #nhl writing #nhl one shot #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl oneshot #hockey writing #hockey one shot #hockey fic #hockey oneshot #florida panthers fic

[secretlittlerandezvous]

Exhaustion - Josh Anderson

Summary: Tired and overwhelmed reader limits her contact with Josh. He finds her asleep after returning home from a trip.

Words: 1675

It was Y/n’s first instinct, a natural reaction she hardly ever noticed but it happened every time. Each time life was getting a little too overwhelming she distanced herself from people she loved. The explanation was simple. She didn’t like it when her loved ones worried about her, and it was always something that passed away on its own. Sooner or later anyway. Her issues were her own, her worries were her own and so on and so on. There was no need to bother someone else with it. People around her saw through it, of course they knew something was upsetting her. They tried to help, cheer her up. But she avoided them, declined all offers. Too stubborn to accept a helping help. And so, they learnt to give her time and space, to check up on her occasionally to make sure she was doing okay and to wait for her to get back to them.

This time was no different. As soon as the first leaves turned yellow and started covering the streets of the city the time started to go fast and she felt behind. Behind her work, behind her studies, behind her personal and social life. There was simply not enough time. And when all the work and studying piled up into one big mess her body gave up. Y/n tried to ignore the feeling of hopelessness for as long as she could. But one Friday afternoon after yet another bad day at work, after forgetting to turn in her essay it all broke inside her. She came home and cried for hours, staining the pillows of the living room’s sofa with mascara.

Josh was in the US with his team and Y/n felt lonelier without him than usual. He was a tough guy on the ice, tough guy in front of his teammates but to her he was the nicest person she’s ever met. He knew what she needed better than herself. When to cuddle her, when to surprise her with ice cream, when to give her space and when to just listen to her venting for hours and hours. She wanted him back more than anything. If only he was home, he would know what to do to comfort her. But he was far away with the team, doing exceptionally well with three wins in a row and she wasn’t going to ruin it.

Sure, she could call him or text him to complain a little. Get a little bit of steam off her chest. But he would get too worried, he might stop focusing on the game. No. She wasn’t going to be a distraction. She can deal with it on her own.

And so, for the following few days Y/n limited her interactions with everyone to minimum, focused purely on finishing everything that needed to be finished. Every day she became more exhausted and by the end of the week she could barely walk. She didn’t even know where the strength to carry on was coming from.

She limited her interactions with Josh as well. She didn’t answer his FaceTime calls because he would see how tired she was and hardly ever picked up a call because he’d tell just from the tone of her voice there was something wrong. The excuses came easy to her: once she was in the shower, then she was stuck at work, other time she forgot her phone in the car and didn’t notice. Even her texts were as short and as simple as possible. Josh spammed her phone with sweet messages and voice notes daily and it made her both unbelievably happy and sad. She felt bad for being so cold to him, he in no way deserved it. But it was for his own good and for the good of his team as well.

Josh noticed the change in her behavior immediately. Most guys wouldn’t notice the tiny changes, but he did. And he was sick worried about what was going on back home. 

“For the millionth time Josh, “Y/n sighed during one phone call. “Everything’s fine.”

“If you say so,” Josh answered with a hint of disappointment. He knew he was getting nowhere with his questions, but he didn’t know what else he could do since he was away. Maybe it was nothing, but what if it was?

And not only he was worried, but he also missed her. He was used to traveling, being away from people he was close to, but when she came into his life everything or rather, he changed. And sleeping without her in his arms meant a bad night’s sleep. A day without seeing her meant an okay day at best. Going without her touch or kiss for longer than a day could drive him insane. He needed her. More than he would admit to himself, to her or anyone else.

The days kept on passing and Y/n completely lost count of the days. She didn’t know if it was Monday or Thursday, if October ended already or not yet. She had no track of time. Every single day she woke up and went either to school or to work, survived until it was time to leave and then kept on working at home until she passed out. She didn’t remember the last time she had a proper meal or a shower longer than 5 minutes because she was too tired to stand there and wash herself. She rushed personal care to have more time to focus on what she needed to focus on.

Another Friday, two weeks later after Y/n’s issues started was spent at her desk studying. Writing three essays at once while also making notes to study for her exams. It also happened to be the Friday of Josh’s arrival which Y/n completely forgot about.

On the other hand, Josh couldn’t wait to be home finally to check on her.

As soon as he landed in Montreal, he wasted no time and rushed to her apartment. His heart was beating fast with anticipation. He was overjoyed with the results of the last couple of games, but he was most happy about being home and to be just a few minutes away from seeing Y/n after such long time. He didn’t know what news were waiting for him, how bad or serious it was going to be, but he felt relieved anyway. Relived because he would soon know, relieved because he could take care of everything now.

He unlocked the doors and entered the deadly silent apartment. He saw a light in the living room, but the tv wasn’t playing and Y/n wasn’t running to greet him like she usually did. He continued from the hall to the living where he finally saw his girlfriend. Fast asleep on the desk surrounded by papers and post it notes. He stopped for a moment just to adore her face. She was in a deep sleep, most likely a very needed sleep. Her hair was slightly messy but that just made her look cuter in his eyes. He slowly came to her; with gentle touch he removed a piece of hair from her face and tucked in behind her ear. He sneaked his hands around her waist, kissed the top of her head and just as he was about to lift her up, she woke up. Her eyes opened slowly, she looked around trying to figure out what was happening around her and when she realized Josh was standing there just few inches away from her, she gave him a surprised look.

“I’ll punish you for not greeting me later,” he laughed. “But right now, I just want to go to bed and cuddle.”

Y/n didn’t say anything, but she wrapped her hands tightly around his neck, he hugged her even tighter and kissed the side of her face a few times. He then took her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom where he tucked her in. His heart could just melt seeing her so sleepy.

“I couldn’t wait for you to come back,” she mumbled into his chest when she snuggled next to him.

He pulled her closer to his body, making sure she was safe and sound and kissed her again and again. At that moment it felt like a single kiss could fix all her worries. His fingers gently ran through her hair, occasionally scratching her head and each time he did that Y/n let out a quiet whimper of enjoyment. His other hand caressed the skin of her back. Y/n for the first time in over two weeks relaxed, she wasn’t tense anymore, all worries disappeared from her mind as soon as his strong arms wrapped themselves around her body.

“Don’t you wanna tell me what was going on, baby?” Josh whispered into her ear as he kept playing with her hair.

Y/n snuggled even closer to him, took a deep breath and thought for a moment of what to say. She realized now how scared he must’ve been and for what? For nothing more serious than a little bit of stress. “There was just too much going on,” she said quietly. “Too much work and studying. I felt very behind everything.” She then added and stroked the palm of his hand with her fingers.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked although he already knew the answer.

“Didn’t want to worry you?” she answered. “And yes, I do realize now I made you more worried by not telling you.” She admitted.

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe”. He kissed her. “I love you so much, I couldn’t wait to be back home with you. To hold you and fall asleep with you beside me. And most importantly I couldn’t wait to figure out what was going on with you.” Josh paused for a moment realizing he was getting no reaction from her. “Baby?” he whispered and looked at her. She was asleep with a smile on her face, clinging onto him.

“Good night baby.”

#josh anderson #josh anderson imagine #josh anderson one shot #josh anderson writing #josh anderson imagines #montreal canadiens #montreal canadiens imagine #montreal canadiens one shot #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl one shot #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey one shot #nhl players imagine

[theemporium]

oneshots

☞the introduction

i. dry humping

ii. fondling

iii. handjob

iv. fingering

v. phone sex

vi. [redacted]

vii. [redacted]

viii. [redacted]

ix. [redacted]

x. [redacted]

.

blurbs

n/a

.

#「the mortifying ordeal of being a 20 year old virgin masterlist」 #luke hughes #nhl #new jersey devils #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x you #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #luke hughes one shot #luke hughes smut #nhl x reader #nhl x you #nhl x y/n #nhl fic #nhl one shot #nhl smut

[hockey-fics]

The Summer It All Changed ~ Quinn Hughes

ft. Jack and Luke being idiots 

Summary: You grew up with Quinn and for the longest time you really were just friends. But perhaps that’s not all you’re meant to be. 

Word Count: ~5,000

Warnings: Smut, drinking, language. 

A/N: I barely edited this, it’s not my best work. I’m really just trying to get back into the whole actually finishing my WIPs thing. 

You had known the Hughes family your entire life. Quite literally. Your parents were friends and you grew up alongside the three boys. You had been affectionately linked with Jack for most of your life. You were just under a year younger than Jack and your parents seemed to believe that should mean that you two would be best friends. And it wasn’t that you weren’t friends, you definitely were. But it wasn’t Jack that you always seem to gravitate to. It was Quinn who was the recipient of all your attention growing up. 

He would pretend to be annoyed, particularly during the middle school years when being spotted with the younger kids seemed like the most embarrassing thing anyone could imagine. But no matter how much he would pretend everyone could tell he was never really annoyed by you. 

He was always the one who made sure you were able to keep up when you went on bike adventures with the,. He didn’t get annoyed when you didn’t understand the rules of a new game after a single half-assed explanation from Jack or Luke. He made sure to not let everyone talk over you when you were young and quiet. He was the one who taught you how to skate and he was the one who would fight to let you have input on the movie for movie nights. 

Quinn had been there for you during some of the best and worst times of your life. 

The first time you got drunk, in a classmate’s basement drinking glass after glass of boxed red wine, it was Quinn who you called. He was the only one of your friends that had their license, but more than that he was the only one you really wanted in that moment. When he showed up you were sitting alone on the front steps of the house, staring at the ground desperately willing the world to stop spinning around you. Quinn took you home that night, helped you sneak into your bedroom. He got you water and the garbage can from the bathroom, knowing you may not make it through the night with the contents of your stomach still in your body. You barely remembered the night the next morning and Quinn never once tried to tease you about it the way you knew any of your other friends would have. 

Your first teenage heartbreak was as stereotypical as it could be. You had been with him for a whopping six months, which was quite the feat at fifteen years old. You holed up in your living room with your best friend, a pint of ice cream, and an endless stream of movies playing in the background. It was two days after the breakup when Jack showed up to see if you wanted to go on a bike ride. To this day you still weren’t sure who told who what but the news of your breakup eventually made its way back to Quinn. He showed up that evening and after being let into the house by your mom he hesitantly made his way to you, like you were a feral animal that might sprint off if he made too sudden of a movement. He didn’t know what to say, that was apparent to anyone hearing his awkward statements of condolences. But he stayed with you late into that night, watching movies with you and your best friend, making jokes that lightened the mood and letting you curl up next to him, your head on his shoulder for most of the evening. 

You discovered your acceptance into your dream university while your parents were at work and you were home alone. After an ecstatic sprint around your empty house you ended up at the Hughes’ residence, banging on the door like you were in desperate need of help. It was Luke who answered the door, the unwilling recipient of one of the most rambunctious hugs you had ever given in your life. He had hugged you back with a palpable hesitation. After telling him the great news you received a half-assed congratulations. But Quinn was in the room a minute later, barrelling his way to you. He gave you the congratulations you were looking for, telling you he had no doubts you would get accepted and assuring you that you were going to do so incredible in university. 

Obviously you had known that Quinn was going to get drafted in the 2018 draft. You knew it was going to happen, you knew that you couldn’t live down the road from Quinn forever. But when you watched Quinn get picked by the Canucks the excitement you had for him was mixed with a sinking feeling. Vancouver. It wasn’t just far it was in a whole other country. The first time you saw him after the draft you put on your bravest face, hugging him tight with a sincere congratulations. You were happy for him, you really were. But you had only kept your emotions in check for a short time that day. Before you knew it you were crying in his arms, confessing how scared and sad you were to soon not have him around. He had assured you he was still going to be around, that it would just be different. And he wasn’t wrong, taking the spot for the person you texted the most for many, many years. 

After you left for university and Quinn was living in Vancouver you didn’t see each other much. But there was one thing that you could always look forward to. Summer. After you finished your exams for the year and Quinn’s hockey season came to end you would both return home for the summer. 

It was during those summers that your feelings for Quinn truly developed. Those long, hot days were when you realized your feelings for him weren’t the feelings you have for someone who was just a friend. But you never said anything, never did anything to act on your feelings. You were so close and your families were so intertwined that the risk of complicating things scared you out of doing anything. 

You were nearing the end of your years at university, after having completed three full years you headed home for yet another summer with your family and childhood friends. This year was different though, this year you were going to be spending two weeks on the beaches of Hawaii with the Hughes family. 

It wasn’t like it was the first time you had gone on a trip with the Hughes family. But it was different. This was the first year you were able to drink, legally at least. You were all older now. You had your own hotel room, not sleeping on a cot in a room with your parents. You had a level of freedom you never had under the watchful eye of parental guardians. 

“Are we still going to the beach?” you ask, crammed in the elevator of the hotel you had just checked in to with Jack, Luke, and Quinn and about 3 too many suitcases. 

“Yeah, what’s your room number? We can meet you there and go down together?” Quinn offers. 

There’s a couple snickers after his question, Jack being the one to actually speak up. “Yeah, I bet that’s why you wanna know where her room is.”

“Fuck off,” Quinn mutters, elbowing Jack in the ribs. 

Your eyes shift back and forth between them, feeling on the outside of an inside joke. “614,” you state as the elevator doors slide open on the 6th floor. Stepping out of the elevator you drag your bags behind you, heading down the elevator to your room. It’s a beautiful room, one that Quinn had insisted on helping you pay for after you nearly opted out of the trip over the price. 

Digging through your suitcase you find a bikini, pulling it on your body before spinning around in front of the mirror, taking in every angle to ensure it looked okay. Sighing to yourself you adjust the straps a few times, wondering if perhaps it was a little too much for a vacation with some of your closest family friends. But before you have the opportunity to change into anything else there’s a knock on the door. 

Pulling it open you look up at Jack, watching his eyes blatantly travel up and down your body. “Who you wearing this for?” Jack teases. 

Swatting his arm you step aside, letting him into your hotel room. “Is it too much?”

“You mean you have something with less?” Jack chuckles, sitting down on the edge of your bed. 

“Shut up,” you mutter, glancing in the mirror. “Seriously, should I change?”

“Nah, you’re going to make some people pretty happy in that.”

“Gross,” you comment, tossing a few beach essentials into a tote bag as you wait for the other two to get to your room. It’s not long before another knock draws your attention and you open the door, gazing up at Quinn with a smile. “Hi,” you greet, stepping to the side. 

Quinn’s eyes aren’t as easy to follow, darting around to various parts of the room, not lingering on you for more than a couple seconds at a time. “H-hey,” Quinn stammers, clearing his throat. 

“Are you going to come in or just stand there?” you tease, watching Quinn finally take a step into your room.

Quinn freezes again when his eyes land on Jack, glancing back over to you for a moment. “How long have you been here?” Quinn asks, walking over to sit next to Jack. 

“Chill,” Jack chuckles, shaking his head. He whispers something to Quinn that you can’t hear and you look back to the mirror, more than convinced now that you should change. 

“I’ll find something else to wear,” you declare, digging through your suitcase again. 

“Oh my god,” Jack groans, flopping down onto the bed. “Now you need to chill, that’s not what I was talking about.”

“Then what were you whispering about?” you exclaim, spinning back around to face them. 

Jack chuckles, still staring at the ceiling. “What did I say, Quinn?”

Quinn opens his mouth to say something, cut off by another knock on the door. “Guess it’s time to head to the beach,” Quinn states, hoping up from the edge of your bed and opening your door, in the hallway before you have a chance to say anything more. 

Yanking on a pair of shorts and grabbing your bag you hurry after Quinn. The four of you are approaching the elevator when you wrap your hand around Quinn’s wrist, pulling him to a halt. You wait for the other two to get a few steps away before saying anything. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Quinn mutters with a shrug. 

“Obviously it’s not nothing, Quinn. Something is off and I feel weird and….uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry,” Quinn says quickly, eyes diverting to the ground for a second. “I promise it’s nothing, I’m sorry, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Can’t you just tell me the truth?” you whisper, never thinking you would have to ask Quinn to be honest with you. 

“Not right now,” Quinn says quietly. “But I promise it’s nothing bad, it’s nothing you’ve done or anything.”

Sighing you reach out, wrapping your arms around his torso. “I just don’t want this to become a thing, Quinn. I’ve missed you and just want this trip to be fun.”

“It will be, I promise, it’s not going to be weird.” 

Nodding you take his hand, hurrying to the elevator that Luke was holding open for the two of you. 

Down on the beach you claim a lounge chair amongst an empty row, laying your towel down before sitting down, watching Quinn lay his stuff down on the chair beside you. “Not going to swim with them?” you inquire, nodding towards Luke and Jack as they make their way towards the water. 

“Nah, maybe later,” Quinn says, sitting down next to you. “Rather be here with you.”

You can’t help but notice the way your stomach flutters with butterflies at that comment, with the way he was looking at you. Your cheeks begin to flush as you notice Quinn’s eyes drifting down from your eyes to your chest. You contemplate making a joke about it but if you were being honest you didn’t want him to stop and you weren’t willing to risk making him feel uncomfortable it. 

“Do you want a drink?” Quinn asks a few minutes later, looking over at the bar not far down the beach. 

“Yeah, sure.” Standing up you walk along the beach next to Quinn, the sand hot beneath your feet, a gentle breeze tossing your hair. “What are you getting?” 

“Probably just a beer,” Quinn shrugs as the two of you stop in front of the bar, looking at the small cocktail menu. 

“You’re so boring,” you tease. 

“Well what are you getting?”

“A Mai Tai,” you tell him, simply reading the first drink listed on the menu you were looking at. 

“What’s in that?” 

Shrugging you laugh quietly, looking up at him. “No idea, I’m sure it’s good though.”

“You’re going to end up hating it and I’ll have to drink it.”

“That’s not true,” you exclaim, though if you were being honest that exact situation had happened many times in your years of knowing Quinn. 

After ordering and getting your drinks the two of you head back to the lounge chairs. It doesn’t take long for you to fall back into your typical routine with Quinn. You would talk, maybe a little too much, he would listen intently, cracking jokes here and there. The two of you would break out into fits of giggles, laughing till your stomach hurt and you could barely catch your breath. When you were with him it felt like nothing could possibly go wrong, everything just felt so easy. 

The first couple days of the holiday go by in much the same fashion. Wake up later than you should, have breakfast late enough that it becomes brunch. Spend the day on the beach or going out around the city. Drinking begins long before dinner happens and when you finally get around to figuring something out for dinner you’re tipsy and thoroughly warmed from the day in the sun. Drinking rarely slowed after dinner, the location of where that happened did seem to change nightly, from bars to clubs to the beach. 

You’re sitting at a table in a bar at the hotel on night four when you lean closer to Quinn, catching his attention. “Will you go for a walk with me? I want to go down to the beach,” you whisper.

Quinn nods in response, finishing what was left in his glass before setting it down on the table. “We’ll be back in a bit,” Quinn says to the others at the table, walking with you down the steps from the bar to the pathway down to the beach. 

You walk together in a comfortable silence, till you get closer to the edge of the water, plopping down on the sand. Quinn follows your lead, sitting down next to you. The sand is cool now with the sun long gone, the moon shining off the surface of the ocean. 

“Thanks for inviting me here,” you say to Quinn, leaning your head on his shoulder. You can feel your heart racing in your chest, the physical contact felt so much more significant now than it ever had in the past.

Quinn chuckles, setting his hand on the sand behind you, letting you lean further into him. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“Well thank you for paying for so much stuff for me, you really didn’t have to do all this,” you tell him, lifting your head to look up at him. “I really appreciate it.”

“I would have paid for all of it.”

Laughing you shake your head. “You’re too nice to me.”

“Is that a problem?” Quinn chuckles, turning his attention away from the ocean to look down at you. 

Your eyes lock and there’s a silence between the two of you that lasts a little longer than feels natural. “No,” you finally whisper. You let out a heavy breath, trying not to let your thoughts get too out of control as your eyes fall to his lips. 

Quinn reaches over, his fingers sliding along the side of your face. It feels so sudden that you nearly flinch, eyes flicking back up to look into his. There’s another long pause as Quinn watches you intently, like he was waiting for you to object to what was happening. But you didn’t, you couldn’t. Leaning closer your hand fumbles along the sand, your breathing shaky. 

Finally he commits to the moment, his lips on yours a second later. He’s gentle and the kiss is so soft and slow. When you pull back it’s hesitant, not wanting the moment to end. But you needed to process it just as much as you wanted to keep going. “Quinn,” you whisper, eyes on the sand, nervous to look into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, did you not want-.”

“No,” you interject. “I mean, yes, yeah, I did, I just…what, um…what?” you can’t help but laugh at your stammering, still not entirely sure what you were trying to say, just hoping he would pick up on enough to say something in response. 

Quinn chuckles quietly, reaching over and taking your hand. “I don’t know if this is weird to say right now,” Quinn mumbles. “But um, I, uh, I like you…a lot.”

“Quinn,” you breathe out again, looking into his eyes now. 

“Can you please say something other than my name? I’m kind of freaking out.”

Giggling you lean in, pressing your lips to his again. “I feel the same way,” you whisper against his lips, not wanting to pull any further away from him now that the boundaries that had been stopping you from touching him like this before were gone.

Slowly you lift one knee over Quinn’s lap, setting your arms over his shoulders. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” you admit. 

Quinn has one hand behind him, propping himself up as he gazes up at you. His lips are curled into a soft smile. His free hand runs up your thigh, landing on your hip. “Me too.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Quinn shakes his head with a breath of laughter. “I mean, look at you,” Quinn mutters. “I never thought I would have a chance.”

“Quinn,” you whisper, tipping his head back as you lean in closer. “There’s nobody else I have ever wanted to be with more than you.”

You can feel Quinn’s breath on your lips, his hand sliding up your back as he pulls you closer. Your lips brush against his, the kiss was gentle again, slow and patient. It doesn’t last long as your body begins to beg for more, fingers tangling in his hair as the kiss quickens. Your hips grind down into him as his tongue brushes against yours, your nerves firing with every touch of his hands on your body. 

Pulling back you take a moment to catch your breath, staring down at him with eyes full of desire. “Do you want to come up to my room for a bit?”

“Yes,” Quinn replies quickly with an eager nod. 

Clambering to your feet you brush the sand from your legs, taking Quinn’s hand and heading back up to the hotel. Behind the closed doors of the elevator Quinn presses you against the cool metal wall, kissing you gently, hands firm on your waist. The ride is short and you’re giggling as you push him out through the open door, every step you take closer to your room you seemed to be gaining speed. 

By the time the hotel room door is closed your body is buzzing with desire. You’re frantically pulling articles of clothing off each other’s bodies, littering them throughout the room from the door to the bed. You let yourself melt into Quinn as he lays you down on the bed, pressing kisses down your neck and chest, fingers hooking under your underwear, tugging them down your legs. 

A loud breath leaves your lungs as Quinn presses his lips to your inner thigh, slowly moving them higher and higher up your legs. The closer he gets to where you wanted him the more antsy you became, hips squirming on the bed. “Please,” you whimper, desperate for him to pick up the pace. Quinn takes the hint, tongue brushing over your clit as moans begin slipping from your lips. 

Moaning loudly you have one hand on the back of his head, fingers grasping at his hair. Your other hand is grasping the fabric of the sheets on your bed. “Oh, fuck, feels so good,” you whimper. As you grow closer to you your peak your muscles begins to tense, waves of pleasure suddenly crashing through your body just a second later. 

Quinn makes his way back to your lips, kissing you deeply as you reach down, hand brushing against his hard cock. “So hot coming for me like that,” Quinn mumbles against your lips. Fumbling his underwear off you grasp at Quinn’s shoulders, staring at him with eager eyes.

“Are you sure?” Quinn asks, watching you nod before slipping his hand between your bodies. He guides himself into you, slow and gentle as he watches you closely. 

With a soft gasp you grasp at his shoulders, the feeling of him inside you making your head spin with pleasure. No amount of imagining this moment could have prepared you for this. “You feel so good inside me,” you whimper as he thrusts deep inside you. 

“Fuck,” Quinn groans, a blissful smirk on his lips. “I don’t think I’ll be able to last long, you feel so fucking good,” he admits. 

“That’s okay,” you giggle, pulling him closer to press your lips to his. “I don’t think this will be the last time this is happening.”

“Really hope not,” Quinn mumbles. His hips begin to move faster, your moans increasing in frequency as your fingers dig into his shoulders. “Where do-.”

“Come inside me,” you interject, hoping that you knew where he was going with his question. “I want to feel you fill me with your cum.”

“Oh, fuck,” Quinn groans, shaking his head. “Can’t say that to me if you want me to last longer.”

“Cum all over me then, is that better?” you tease with a quiet gasp as Quinn’s hips smack harder into you. 

“N-no,” Quinn stammers, shaking his head. True to his word you feel him finishing inside you just a moment later, groaning loudly as he rocks his hips into you a few more times before slowly pulling out of you. Reaching over he grabs a few of the Kleenex from the box on the bedside table, quickly cleaning you up. 

“Do you want to have a shower?” you ask, propping yourself up on your elbows. “With me.”

“Yes,” Quinn replies easily, reaching for your hands as you sit up.

After a shower you curl up next to Quinn in bed, your arm over his chest, drawing imaginary shapes on his skin. You try to stay awake, to spend more time with Quinn, but you’re quickly overtaken by sleep in the comfort of his arms. 

You weren’t sure what time it was or even how many rounds you and Quinn had gone since you woke up that morning. All you knew was that your legs were beginning to shake with Quinn between them, your fingers tangled in his hair, gasps and moans escaping your lips loudly. But a knock on the door is enough to silence your string of moans and make Quinn pull back quickly. 

“Who’s that?” Quinn whispers, looking over at you with wide eyes. 

“How would I know?” you mutter, scrambling off the bed to try and find some clothes to pull over your naked body. With Quinn’s shirt and a pair of bikini bottoms on you open your door, eyes widening as you look over at Jack. “Hi,” you mutter, swallowing heavily. 

“Are you…okay?” Jack asks, eyebrows furrowed as he looks you up and down. “Oh, oh shit,” he laughs, shaking his head. “Quinn’s not going to be happy about this,” he mutters, glancing around the hallway. 

“I,” you begin, glancing behind you as you let out a loud breath. “What do you want, Jack?”

“Are you coming on the boat today or what? We were supposed to meet down there at one.”

“One?” you exclaim, not realizing how late in the day it had gotten. 

“Yeah,” Jack states, shaking his head at your confusion. “Also, do you know where Quinn is?”

“I, uh,” you begin before shaking your head. “No, I don’t…I’ll be down in a few minutes, just need to get ready,” you tell him, closing the door before he has the chance to say anything else. 

“Didn’t want to tell him?” Quinn asks with a smirk, walking over to where you were standing by the door. 

“Tell him that he just interrupted his brother going down on me?” you ask. 

Quinn shrugs, hands on your waist as he walks you back to the edge of the bed. “Lay down, I’m not going to let that stop me from finishing what I started.”

You let out a quiet moan, leaning up and kissing him deeply. His tongue is in your mouth and you can taste yourself on him, whimpering into the kiss. 

Quinn smirks, pushing you back onto the bed before getting down in front of it. His head is back between your legs just a second later, his tongue sliding along your folds before running over your clit, your hips squirming beneath him. He presses his arm over your hips, stilling them as he quickly brings you to another orgasm, body writhing beneath him. 

“Fuck, holy fuck,” you breathe out as Quinn kisses his way up your body. 

Quinn presses a quick kiss to your lips before taking your hands and pulling you to sit up. “Should we head down there?”

Nodding you stare up at him with an awestruck gaze. “Y-yeah,” you stammer, pulling yourself to your feet and digging through your suitcase for another bikini and pair of shorts. 

The two of you make it down to the lobby only a few short minutes later, your legs not even entirely steady yet. You watch Jack glance over at Quinn and then back to you, eyes narrowing slightly. “Found him,” you declare, looking at Jack as you say it. 

“Mmhm,” Jack hums, looking away from you. “Let’s go,” he declares, storming off towards the doors of the hotel. You exchange a look with Quinn, his shrug being enough to tell you to just leave him Jack be and keep going ahead with the plan. 

You’re on your sixth drink in the span of a couple hours on the boat, a buzz in your body as you lean back against the hot vinyl seats on the boat. You weren’t the only one who had been drinking, everyone on the boat having lost their sobriety somewhere after hour one on the boat. Quinn scoots a little closer to you, draping his arm over the back of your seat as he leans in, pressing his lips to the top of your head. 

“She’s not into you,” Jack declares with a drunken slur, staring at Quinn with a warning look. 

“What?” Quinn asks, chuckling as Jack’s statement. 

“She was fucking someone this morning, you need to stop.”

“Woah,” Quinn mutters. “How many drinks have you had, bud?”

“I’m not lying, she was-.”

“I know, Jack, now shut the fuck up,” Quinn snaps, a warning tone in his voice. 

“You’re in love with her,” Jack exclaims, gesturing wildly between you and Quinn. 

You can’t help but giggle at the situation, looking up at Quinn. “You can tell him, it’s fine,” you whisper. 

“I was the one in her room this morning, bro,” Quinn tells Jack, dropping his arm from around you on the chair to around your waist, pulling you in closer. 

Jack is silent for a few seconds, eyes darting back and forth between you and Quinn. “Oh, shit, sorry, I-.”

“It’s fine, let’s just stop talking about this,” you interject, cheeks flushing. 

“Wait, what?” Luke exclaims from where he was sitting on the other side of you. “Are you two finally a thing?”

“No, we’re not really, like, together, but…finally?” you question, turning your head to look at Quinn with a teasing smile. “Did everyone but me know you had feelings for me?”

“Not everyone,” Quinn chuckles, cheeks red. “Just these two idiots.”

“We’re not the idiots here if you two aren’t going to just get together, it’s been like 20 years,” Luke states.

“We’ll figure it out,” you assure him, turning your head to look at Quinn. “Right?”

“I don’t think there’s much I need to figure out,” Quinn says, looking into your eyes. “I know exactly what I want.”

“Me too,” you whisper with a soft smile, fingers squeezing his hand, a silent communication that you were both on the same page. Because at the end of the day, it’s better late than never and you don’t know if you could have lived with never having a chance with Quinn. 

#quinn hughes #Quinn Hughes fic #Quinn Hughes imagine #Quinn Hughes one shot #Quinn Hughes fanfic #nhl one shot #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagines #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey fanfic

[jackhues]

how'd you make it? - mockingbird! au (platonic! hughes)

requested by: @toasttt11 , anon :)) - combined two bcz they fit rlly well

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3 this ones got a focus on luke, but there's a cute quinn moment! ALSO, there's a cute surprise in this one, hope you guys like it (takes place in summer '24)

likes are good, reblogs are better <33

mockingbird! au request rules!|| mockingbird au! masterlist

gif not mine

"go back outside," you laughed, shoving jack's face away from yours.

you were at the hughes' lake house for the summer, spending most of your time wakesurfing, swimming, and hanging out on the boat. today was the one day you wanted to stay inside on the couch and finish the book you'd bought while the boys had the day to themselves.

of course, jack had other plans.

"i don't wanna," he groaned, plopping down on top of you.

"jack!" you laughed, trying to shove him off of you. finally, you gave up, putting your book to the side to let jack lay on top of you.

"why don't you wanna go outside?" you asked him softly.

"because i wanna spend time with you," he answered simply. "quinn went out with his girlfriend to that chinese place for lunch, and it's awkward being the only one with luke and his girlfriend. they're like... weird hormonal teenagers."

"oh, so it's because your brothers are gone that you're spending time with me," you rolled your eyes, laughing a bit.

"even without that, i'd still wanna be with you," he answered in a matter-of-fact voice. "it's why i'm gonna marry you."

"jack, stop making me blush," you hit his shoulder lightly.

"what," he laughed, pulling away. "there's a ring on your finger for a reason."

you smiled, admiring the way he looked at you with such adoration in his eyes. he acted like it was so simple. like he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, and that was that. in some case, you supposed it was simple.

before meeting jack, you wouldn't have been able to imagine something like that, let alone believe someone could love you that much. but he changed that.

and you loved him so much for it.

"you're thinking," he said, getting up off of you and helping you sit up. "is it good or bad?"

"it's good," you promised. "i'm just thinking about how much i love you."

he grinned stupidly at that answer, "well of course you do. with these killer looks, how could you not?"

"you're such an-"

"luke! luke, what's wrong?"

your laughter was cut off as luke marched angrily past you and up the stairs and towards his room. behind him, ellen followed.

"i don't wanna talk," luke called, causing ellen to stop.

you and jack got up from the couch, making your way to the base of the stairs by ellen.

"what's wrong?" you asked. "why'd he storm up to his room?"

"i have no idea," ellen sighed tiredly. "he just came inside looking all mad, and then ran up."

jack furrowed his brows, "i thought he was outside with his girlfriend."

"did something happen with them, maybe?" you asked.

"i don't know," ellen muttered. she looked up the stairs, where luke had headed. "i'm going to go check on him. you two don't worry about him, i'll make sure he's okay."

you and jack nodded, letting ellen check on luke.

"are we sure it's not something bad?" jack asked you. "what if he's really upset over something?"

"ellen went to check on him," you reminded him. "it's better not to overwhelm him right now. we can go check on him afterwards if you want."

jack nodded, agreeing. "yeah, you're right."

the two of you headed towards the kitchen to take out your lunch. you and jack took a seat on the table, across of jim.

"did you finish your book yet?" he asked you.

"i would've, but someone didn't let me," you sent jack a look.

he held his hands up, a guilty look on his face.

jim looked up as ellen made her way back down. "any luck with luke?"

"he's asking for y/n," she said, looking at you. "honey, could you go upstairs and see what's going on?"

"yeah, of course," you answered, a little shocked.

jack squeezed your hand as you walked by, heading up to luke's room. you knocked on the door, waiting for an answer.

"go away," he muttered from the other side.

"luke, it's me," you called. "ellen said you wanted to talk to me."

you heard some shuffling, before luke said softly, "you can come in."

you opened the door, finding luke sitting on the floor next to his bed. he sat against the wall, his knees folded up to his chest and his head down. he didn't even look up as you entered.

"hi lukey," you said softly, sitting next to him. "you okay?"

luke sniffed, looking up at you with red rimmed eyes. "not really."

"c'mere," you muttered, pulling his head into your lap.

luke lay his head down, allowing you to softly run your fingers through his curls. his tears slowly subsided, and you waited calmly as he built up the courage to talk.

"how'd you stay with jack?" he asked finally. "like, it's been five years, and you guys are getting married in a few months, and not once have you guys even thought about breaking up. how?"

you pursed your lips, pondering the question. truth was, it took a long time for you to be this open and accepting to jack's love. you'd never received that same love as a kid, and never imagined to receive it as an adult.

"it's not easy," you answered him finally. "we were young, eighteen year olds when we met. i never even had a boyfriend before him. and then jack was some famous nhl player, and everyone knew him, and everyone hated that i was with him. but... honestly, we grew up together. we matured together. we made mistakes, but we learned to communicate and understand each other. it takes a lot, but we managed somehow."

you ran a hand through luke's curls, "i'm gonna take a wild guess and say something happened with you and your girlfriend. am i right?"

luke nodded sadly. "she-- she cheated on me. and then, and then she just said it like it was nothing. and then she started talking bad about you and jack, about how you guys probably aren't even a real couple, and i just-- i got mad. i told her she can go and do whatever she wants because i'm done." he looked up at you, "did i make a mistake?"

"no, no, you didn't," you assured him. "cheating's a choice, one that she made. when i said jack and i didn't have it easy, that's not what i meant. i meant that we both had things to work on in the start of our relationship. he was dealing with a lot of stuff with his rookie year, and i was still learning what a healthy relationship looks like. we worked on our relationship together."

"thanks, y/n," he smiled, closing his eyes a little. "that helps."

"anytime lukey," you smiled. "anytime."

--

outside the door, quinn smiled to himself.

he was walking past the room after his date, hearing your and luke's conversation. he'd spent the last four years doing everything to show you that you were family, that you were part of the hughes.

he was happy to see that you were believing it.

---

tags: @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme , @svechnikovvv ,  @hockeyboysarehot , @jimothystu, @mysticaldonkey ,  @lam-ila ,  @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @kjohnson-91  , @moldenhauers, @hischierdevils, @jackhughesily , @panarin10 , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @nowandkei , @cinnamonpancakes ,  @mitchymainer ,  @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 , @emsully2002  ,  @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94, @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj , @fandom-oneshots-etc , @ajbird18 , @cherrysodadevils , @cixrosie , @iikximii , @xcicix , @wbkz3gras , @cole-mcward48 , @starjoyyy , @eagerkya , @idontlikelizards , @trevzeags11 , @al-lie-cat , @kjohnson-91 , @bitchy55 , @privatemythss

join my taglist!

#naqia's au's! #mockingbird au! #naqia writes! #jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes imagines #jack hughes blurb #luke hughes #quinn hughes #platonic!reader #platonic #hughes family #hughes brothers #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes x y/n #hockey #hockey one shot #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl one shot #nhl imagine #nhl fic

[lvrhughes]

Marry Me | Q. Hughes

pairing: Quinn Hughes x f!reader

summary: Quinn's always been in love with you, but you're getting married.

warnings: angst, marriage?, drinking

word count: 0.6k

italics are flashbacks:)

not my gif!

You’ve been invited to Y/n Y/l/n and…

The name blurred in his eyes, irrelevant. He knew the day would come but he wasn’t ready, knocking the wind out of him as he read it. 

They’d been friends for forever, they were always seen together, it was always Quinn and Y/n. Ellen always knew they’d end up together, yet Quinn never quite got the nerve to ask. 

So they never were, letting her slip through his fingers. Falling in love with someone else while he followed her. 

“Quinn,” Her voice was breathy, sounding of excitement and fear. “You made it.” she grinned, reaching her arms out to tug around his shoulders.

Dragging him down in the process, his arms slipping around her waist, just like it used to be. It was a feeling of peace over Quinn for the moment, before she pulled away back to greeting other guests. 

She had it planned out since they were five. She’d have her granddad preaching the service, she’d have magnolias all over, never too many people. Always thinking to save her dad money, keep everything small, just her and her man. Ellen used to swear how it’d be her and quinn on the isle one day and how he wished that were true now. 

He wore his black suit, standing in the back corner. Tucked away in one of his pockets, his only flask he was given as a joke once. He never planned on using it but it seemed needed today, the strongest whiskey he had filled the flask. 

The music starting, everyone turning to see the groom enter, his tux the perfect shade of bue. Just like she’d always dreamed of.

“Quinn! Come, we’re playing wedding!” 

“What if I don’t want to play?” he teased, holding his ground as the young girl tugged on his wrist. 

“Please? Quinn, you make the best groom!” He never stood a chance, agreeing to her every ask, following her out there to be her pretend groom. 

“Would you ever marry me?” He asked, standing at the fake altar with her. 

“No! I’ve gotta marry my prince charming and you're not him!” The child grinned, imagining her perfect prince waiting for her like the movies. She wouldn’t see how it hurt Quinn, she wouldn’t see that he’d never move on. 

She looked like a princess in person, her dress was exactly the same as the one she dreamed of as a girl, her hair tied just as she wanted. The tears filled Quinn’s eyes quickly, taking a shot of whiskey to cover it up. 

“Love?” He asked, looking at the girl staring out the window. They were sixteen, he’d just gotten his license. What better than a road trip?

“Hmm?” She hummed back, turning to look at him. 

“What's on your mind?”  He asked, pulling into the parking spot of the motel for the night, leaning onto the console when he parked the car.

“I don’t know, just thinkin’”

He knew he shouldn’t, the leaning in was subconscious. Almost kissing her. He freaked out, pulling away the minute he realized what he was doing, shaking his head and the thought away. 

“Let’s get in, huh?” He asked, trying to move on. 

Even from the back row he could see the tears glistening on her father’s cheeks, the tears slipping down her grooms too. 

He was there early, he could go find her. He could get it off of his chest, tell her he still loved her, how he’s always been in love with her. But he won’t.

“Tell her! You know she loved you!” His brother's pleas fall to deaf ears, Quinn mumbling out a reply. 

“I’m not gonna mess it up.” 

He could feel the tears get closer and closer to falling with every step she took, taking more shots of whiskey, try to make it through without crying. 

Yeah she wanna get married, yeah she’s gonna get married, but she ain’t gonna marry me.

#mads writings! #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes #hughes #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #nhl x reader #vancouver canucks imagine #vancouver canucks

[tkachuckycheese]

on the line

summary: when the flames season comes to an end, you’re confronted with the emotions of your break-up with matthew, in more ways than one. 

word count: 1.7k

warnings: kinda angsty, mentions of kissing 

note: my first fic on hockeyblr, also my first one in years since my 1d fanfic days (lol)!! basically, this is a combo of my emotions from the flames elimination from the playoffs last night AND the potential of matthew having played his last game as a flame........... but let’s not talk more about it. there is maybe a more smutty addition to this but we shall have to seeeee..... let me know your thoughts friends, i would love to hear them!

~

You’re clutching the red jersey so tightly you're certain the seams are coming apart. You might not even be breathing. You sucked in a breath when the overtime goal was scored, and you haven’t been able to let it out quite yet. 

You pace up and down your living room, back and forth, from the couch to the kitchen. You wish you’d gone to the game with the girls, because at least you’d have someone to calm you down. Many of them had asked you to, but you were worried you’d run into him. If you were there now, you would be able to know if he was okay. You could comfort him, tell him it wasn’t his fault and everything was going to be okay. 

On your TV, they show the team giving the fans one last final salute before heading off the ice. He’s the first one down the tunnel, moving so fast and with his head tipped down that the cameras can’t catch him. But you don’t need to see his face to know what it looks like. He left everything on the ice tonight, and this is going to be a big deal for him. This is soul crushing for him. He’s going to be a fucking mess. Despite what happened between the two of you, your heart breaks for him. 

Is this my fault? 

You hate yourself for even contemplating that question. He made you break up with him. He is responsible for his own failures, and for your broken heart. Maybe karma decided to take this moment to unleash all the hurt and pain you wished on him when you broke up. But if he hadn’t decided your relationship was an “unnecessary distraction”, then there would be no reason for karma to kick his ass. Despite the fact that he had reached out many times since the break-up, asking to talk and saying he missed you, you hadn’t responded. Your emotional capacity had reached its limit, and you were still putting the pieces of yourself that he had broken back together.

You sigh and head into the kitchen, busying yourself with making dinner. Your diet had been shit since the breakup and now that you were trying to get through this instead of wallowing in the pain, you were trying to make a conscious effort. 

A couple hours later, you were on the couch, still trying to convince yourself to change the channel, but you just couldn’t. It was like a train wreck. The highlight reel had played through multiple times already, with the panel discussing each and every hit and miss from the playoff series. The general consensus seemed to be that he, in particular, beared a lot of the responsibility for the team’s loss and playoff elimination. You roll your eyes at the panelists’ opinions of him, while simultaneously wishing you could smack him and hug him at the same time. But you’ll get to do neither because you’re not in his life anymore. 

They’d switched to discussing a different series, and you were about to rewind and watch the highlights again to indulge your heart’s masochistic tendencies when the doorbell rings. Your heart skips and you immediately mute the television. You try to listen to the front door for who it could be, especially since it’s late and you’re not expecting anyone. 

It rings again. 

You stand up and walk gingerly towards the front hall. Your floorboards creak and you flinch–as if the serial killer on the other side of the door can hear it and has started sharpening his machete. 

“Y/N, it’s me.” 

You gasp. Because it can’t be. But when you go on your tiptoes and look through the peephole, there he is. Well, there’s the top of his curly head of hair. He tips his head up for a second and you glimpse those deep grey eyes and full mouth. 

Holy shit. 

You take a deep breath to calm yourself. There’s nothing about this that’s good, you remind your pounding heart as you open the door. He’s slouched over, but as soon as his eyes land on mine, he pulls himself up to almost his full height. Maybe it’s the pain of defeat makes it impossible to get that slump out of his broad shoulders entirely, and really, you can’t fault him for that. 

You fight to hold his gaze. It’s hard because it’s so angry–and desperate. You’ve never seen him look like this, not in the last seven years you’ve known him, not when you broke up, not ever. And because you’re still so completely in love with him, it hurts to look at him. 

“Can I come in?” 

“Matthew, what are you doing here?” you ask without letting him inside. “Don’t you have post-game stuff you need to do?” 

“It’s all done. The series is done. The season is done,” he replies, flicking his eyes to the ground and back up to yours. “Can I please come in?” 

“Why?”

“Because.” 

He’s wearing a pair of training paints and a Flames hoodie. It’s pulled tight across his wide chest. His hair is still wet from the shower. The whole team probably didn’t bother with suits after the game. They probably just wanted to get the fuck out of there. And he came straight to you. 

“Because why?” You countered harshly. 

“Let me in, Y/N.” 

It’s not a question. He doesn’t really ask anyone for anything. He tells them. Matthew’’s always got to be in charge and no one ever denies that. 

You tighten your grip on the door and move to shut it in his face, but he steps right into it. His palm makes a loud smacking sound against the wood, and then he’s pushing. Hard. You lose your grip on the door and it flings open. He steps over the threshold and right up into you. 

Without an ounce of hesitation, Matthew grabs your face roughly in his big hands and forces his mouth over yours. You pound his shoulder with your fist and wedge your hand in between you to try to pry you apart, but you can’t break his hold on you. It’s like a sparrow tangling with an eagle.

His tongue sweeps right into your mouth and you think briefly about biting down on it, but it feels so damn good. You grab the fabric of his hoodie and ball it up in your hand. He starts walking backward, pushing you back into the living room. The side of the archway clips your shoulder, but he keeps pushing. When your legs hit the back of the sofa and you lose your balance, you shove him harder and this time Matthew takes a step away. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You scream. 

“I’m showing you I still care the only way left to show you,” Matthew says, his voice strained and loud. “I’ve tried calling, texting, I’ve used social fucking media and so now here I am. Physically showing you.” 

You storm past him, back into the hall to the open door. He turns to keep his eyes on you but doesn’t move to follow. He may be stunned and angry, but he’s still not going anywhere. You reach out and wrap your hand around the door again. “I told you, I’m no one’s silly little distraction or fling. You don’t get to come in here like a petulant child and just claim me like a consolation ribbon after you lose at hockey.” 

His body is rigid, his shoulders creeping up to his earlobes the longer you rant, getting more and more tense. But you don’t care. You’re not in his life anymore. 

“Y/N, I think about it every single day, how messed up it all was, how much I fucked up. I don’t like myself since you left. I never should have made you leave like that.” 

You try to take a breath, but it’s ragged. “Matthew, you’re just emotional over the end of your season.” 

“I did everything I could for this fucking team.” His voice is low and deep and shaky with rage. 

“Yeah. You did. So let it go,” you reply tersely. “They lost in spite of you, Matthew, not because of you.” 

He doesn’t answer. He walks towards you, his shoulders slumped in defeat again. This time, he stops a polite distance from you and keeps his hands to himself. 

“I just can’t handle the fucking pressure. I can’t carry this team, and I can’t keep putting this brave face on. I don’t know what else to do,” he admits, and you know it’s nothing he’s ever said to anyone else and nothing that he ever will. 

His dark eyes meet yours. They’re so sad they make your heart ache. He takes a few steps towards the door, and as he does, he chokes out, “I am so sorry.” 

As he steps through the door, you put a hand on his shoulder and flick your wrist, causing the door to fly from your hand and slam shut. “You try to control everything and when you can’t, when something knocks you on your ass unexpectedly, you give up or hide. You’re a coward.” 

His chest tightens under your hand. “I was a coward. I’ve been one this entire time, but I’ve been trying to change. I fucked up, but I’m still trying. But I need you. I need you because you make me want to be better.” 

“You need me?” you repeat. God, you wanted to believe it, you really did. You had read his pleading texts, listened to the voicemails, even seen the Instagram post he’d made of a photo of the two of you, simply captioned “Miss this girl.” You’re just so scared to trust him again. You know he can’t do anything else to get you back. You had both walked out on each other, but neither of you had truly moved on. 

It hits you so hard, you let out a shudder. You either have to believe Matthew or you have to let him go. 

And the only thing that terrifies you more than forgiving him is losing him. 

So you take a ragged breath and you whisper, “Prove it.” 

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