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mhblerrrggg-stabsyou · 1 year

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I’m not sure how long this is going to be and it might just be a jumble of words but I don't often feel emotions as strongly as i am right now so in a way I feel it a duty of mine to write them down somewhere. so welcome to my silly little thought and feelings about a silly little booker series. they’ve been out a while but still Spoilers for The Infernal Devices below

I've spent the past two weeks re-reading the infernal devices. it took me a week to read Clockwork Angle, four days to read Clockwork Prince and 3 days to read Clockwork Princess. this post is about the last few chapter of clockwork princess.

The first time I read these book I was in a very difficult place in my life, between running away from my mums house, police investigations going on around me, moving house and some of the worst bullying I experienced at school. These book and the characters within became my escape and the first time I finished the series I sobbed, a mixture of sadness for the characters and the suffering they endured but also, I was saying goodbye to the people who were helping me the most in a time where I needed it. Deciding to re-read them I knew what I was getting into, I knew the sever of the Parabatai connection was coming and it would hurt, I knew Jem as Brother Zachariah was at the final battle, I knew Will died in the epilogue, I knew it was all coming. But it still stung, I still sobbed but in a way this time was worse?

Particularly chapters 14 and 20 - 24.

Chapter 14 - Parabatai. This hurt a lot the first time around. Will in my favourite character as is he probably a lot of peoples reading him going through such a heartbreaking moment as his other half died was hard. Re-reading it knowing what happened to Jem seemed harder.

All these goodbyes is what got me thinking about my past and how they helped me so much because I realized I was going to have to say goodbye again. Goodbye to the characters that meant to most to me in the hardest time of my life, and it stirred up all this emotion I had the first time. I though it wouldn’t hurt as much because I had been here before and read these pages, as I turned each page through I saw crinkles on the page where my tears had hit them 7 years earlier and they were met with new wet spots where I was crying now.

Chapters 20 through 24.

These are about lose and love and saying goodbye, Chapter 23 specifically was the one that hit the hardest for me. Jem coming back to the Institute as Brother Zachariah to say his goodbyes, knowing he lives on in some way but cannot see or love the people he cares most about as he’d like. I think this Chapter feels so much different after reading Ghost of the Shadow Market, The Dark Artifices and Secrets of Blackthorn Hall. Knowing what’s coming for him and Tessa, Knowing they were going to go on without Will but still be thinking about and loving him over 100 years later.

In some ways it hurt a lot less, know what Jem and Tessa went on to become, knowing they had a family, knowing they looked after the Herondales thought generations for their Will, knowing they searched endlessly to find Kit and keep him safe, knowing Will lead a full life dying of old age with the two people he loved most in the world, knowing there are most stories out there that Will and Tess are in together with their children. It hurt less in ways. But then it also hurt so much more.

I was once again reading the goodbyes of characters I hold to dear to my heart who would never know me for they are not of my world. Reading about them and their adventure I almost felt like I were there with them and they were my friends. The first time around they were all I had and that all came flooding back. I didn’t want to say goodbye, I wanted to go with them as they were. But I can’t, I can only skipped ahead several years and be with them once they are grown and with children on their own. Or once they are long gone into dust and shadows.

I felt so much for Will because they first time I read them I was like him, I had built up these walls around me and pushed people away afraid that them being near me or befriending me or loving me would get them mixed in with my life and hurt. This time around I felt some much for him because I to have had my walls fall down around me and now have so much love in my life without fear of it being taken from me.

There is so much more I want to say but I do not have the words for it. I will miss them even though they were never my real friends, I know I can go back to these books are start all over again and re-live that part of their lives with them but I will miss them as though they were my own friends and family that I have lost. I am catastrophically in love with every single one of them.

I cried all over again but instead of alone in my room in the early hours of the morning wondering if I’m stupid for doing so, I had my partner to hug me and tell me my thoughts were not stupid and I was not being silly for crying over these fictional people who would never know me.

Edit: in a way this is a thank you to @cassandraclare , so thank you Cassandra for creating these characters and telling their stories because they mean so much to so many

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chqnified · 2 years

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Oml, i have never ever been scared watching a film/series but boy i managed to finally do it

#was watching the call and basically yeah #THE NUMBER OF UNEXPECTED TWUST LIKE STFU I NEARLY DIED #that was an emotional journey #and like then i wonder why i feel even worse than i always do. like bestie watching depressing horrors ain't making u better

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elodieunderglass · 7 months

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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

#this is the sort of observation I make here that people #go off and write their thesis about #so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this #if you do use it as a springboard #tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you #like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important #I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain #it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion #it’s a cowboy hat btw #and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this #especially if you correct me after a long research journey #GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!

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theambitiouswoman · 3 months

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Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

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lukellios · 1 year

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What a difference six years makes

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nfsdiaryy · 1 month

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#quotes #feelings #life quotes #words #lit #poetry #spilled ink #love #positive quotes #notokay #trying #thoughts #therapy #exhausted #healing journey #emotions

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stealingpotatoes · 7 months

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tbobf denied us ahsoka spacegoogling 'how to tell your fellow jedi that he's lowkey secretly your nephew' which i personally think is a tragedy

(commission info // kofi support!)

#in the sswscc (stealingpotatoes star wars sequels canon continuity) ahsoka doesnt tell luke til after shes had her emotion journey thing #luke skywalker #ahsoka tano #r2d2 #star wars #my doods #aunt soka

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smashwolfen · 1 year

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I noticed something really REALLY cool about Legends arceus while looking up references, and it's so little, I don't know how many other folks have noticed it!!

The pokedex you get at the beginning of your journey;

Perfect, crisp and brand new! So many pages to fill! Untouched by anyone ever, the first to ever exist! The original pokedex.

But at the end, with a completed pokedex;

The title of the book is all ripped and damaged! It's been through so many surveys and treks out in hisui's wilderness! The edges of the blue cover are faded and dulling, maybe got wet a few times with run ins with outbreaks, being jostled around in a pack exploring around the region. The black binder holding it together after all this time is equally as banged up, probably barely keeping the stuffed pages inside safe and tucked away, but still doing its job.

This is the first ever pokedex, this is the one that began the understanding of pokemon as we know it, bringing humans and pokemon together as friends in the distant future. Before technology advanced and made the pokedex we were first introduced to in Kanto so many years ago.

It's falling apart and has been waterlogged a few times, it's recorded so much and survived raging lords, hordes or pokemon, alphas, an exile, gods of time and space, a banished deity, and faced almighty sinnoh.

And it was written, filled out, carried and protected all this time, by a kid who did their best to help the professor who first met them in Hisui.

And it survived.

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cutthroatkindness · 5 months

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Hey,

I'm gonna be 100% brutally honest with you.

It's OK if you've done absolutely nothing; contributed nothing to anything, talked to no one, ect. Yes, even if you didn't get out of bed.

I see countless people tag or add onto posts things like "am I still worthy if __" "is it still ok to rest if __" and yes! It is OK to to the bare minimum or no minimum at all. 💛 You are still a living, breathing, thinking being and thinking alone takes energy.

Be gentle with yourself. 💚

#mental health #mental health journey #healing #self care #selfcare #mental health reminders #self love #mental health support #emotional support #support #gentle reminders #self love reminders #selflove

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thehauntedmarionnette · 2 days

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He is fighting a war. Just got his arms back. Has been fighting for his life so intensely that even we as the audience are unaware of the passage of time. And still has time to fanboy.

#people be like 'deku is such a weak crybaby mc'#like YOU try reciting the exact model of the clothing you're wearing after being severely injured #and going through the most intense emotional journey of your life #for no other motivation than pure dedication to being a nerd #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #deku #mha deku #mha 421 #mha manga spoilers #mha manga panels #bnha manga spoilers #bnha 421 #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers

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samxcamargo · 1 year

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You don’t have to be healed to deserve the good things in your life.

-Josue Camargo

#healing words #healing quotes #healing journey #inner healing #quotes #relatable quotes #deep quotes #deep feelings #poetry love #poetry lovers #quote lovers #quote lover #emotional healing #emotional wellbeing #emotional health

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livelovecaliforniadreams · 2 months

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#this has been sitting on my computer for over a year now #nice to finally be able to post it #what a journey huh?#chenford #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #melissa o'neil #eric winter #the rookie #started from the bottom now we're here #growth #shut up im emotional #i love you

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study-diaries · 20 days

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Reminder

Your pain (physical/mental/emotional) is valid even if nobody can see it

Your pain is valid even if you have no physical symptoms

Your pain is valid even if there is no physical injury

Your pain is valid even if others tell you it's not

Your pain is valid even if you do not have a life threatening disease

Your pain is valid even if you don't have a diagnosis

Your pain is valid even if you do have a diagnosis

Your pain is still valid even if nobody believes you

Your pain is still valid even if you are too "young" for the problem/issue

Your pain is valid even if the health care advisor/anybody tells you that it's in your head

Your pain is valid no matter what the conditions are

Your pain is valid.

Pain does not discriminate between age, gender, race, nationality etc. Just because you can't see pain, doesn't mean it's not there.

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theambitiouswoman · 8 months

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Emotionally healthy people are quitters ✨

Emotionally healthy people are quitters. They make choices that align with their well being. Quitting a relationship, partnership or job that makes you unhappy is a sign of self awareness. If someone stays in something bad for too long, it's not because they're strong, but because they're afraid or have low self esteem. Being emotionally healthy means having awareness, setting boundaries, and knowing when it's time to move on from situations that no longer serve you. It's about prioritizing your mental and emotional health over sticking with something that's causing you harm or making you unhappy.

Emotionally healthy people also tend to have good communication skills. They express their feelings and needs calmly, openly and honestly. They also look for guidance and enlightenment because they understand that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness.

They make decisions out of self love rather than attachment or fear. When you prioritize loving yourself, you make choices that align with your happiness and growth, rather than staying in situations out of comfort or insecurity.

Recognizing when you have an unhealthy attachment or that your feelings may not be conducive to your well being is important. It allows you to take a step back, evaluate the situation objectively, and make choices that are in line with your best interests.

Sometimes holding on can lead to more pain and struggle than necessary. It's a sign of emotional maturity to recognize when a situation is no longer good for you and to have the strength to let it go.

Things that are genuinely right for you should not cause you harm or emotional pain. Choosing pain is a sign of a lack of self love. Recognizing the need for change, prioritizing self love, and making healthier choices is how you begin to change your life.

Reframe your mindset from “this is hurting me because I love it” to “this is hurting me because I do not love me.”

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apparently-artless · 1 month

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•❃° SOUSOU NO FRIEREN ❀ FRIEREN & HIMMEL °❃•

Anime: Sousou no Frieren Characters: Frieren & Himmel Song Lyrics: Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

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histhoughtslately · 1 month

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You’re not behind; however, life will continue to go by while you’re standing still. Just remember, little steps matter, too. ❤️‍🩹

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