Positive Self-Talk/Coping Thoughts
For most of us, we suffer from negative self-talk. This unfortunately perpetuates low self-esteem in us because most of the time we believe the negative things we think about ourselves, even if they're not technically true. In order to combat our negative coping thoughts, we need to realize that we can replace them with positive ones to help us remember that our thoughts are not facts.
We're so used to saying negative and mean things about ourselves that we may not even know how to say positive things or even what to say to ourselves. Positive self-talk statements can encourage us and help us cope through the times we are dealing with distress. We need to become our own cheerleaders to help us through difficult situations. The more we do it, the more automatic these thoughts will become to remind us that we've been through hard times before and we can do it again!
Here are some examples of positive coping statements we can keep in mind:
"This won't last forever."
"This will pass."
"It's okay that I'm feeling this way, it's a normal and valid reaction."
"Stop and breathe. I can do this."
"These are just feelings, they'll go away."
"I've survived moments like this before, I'll survive this."
"Right now, I'm not in any danger. I'm safe."
"This feels bad, but it's a normal reaction. It'll pass."
"We got this."
"My mind is not always my friend."
"Short term pain for long term gain."
"I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I'm safe right now."
"Thoughts are just thoughts--they're not necessarily true or factual."
"I can learn from this and it'll be easier next time."
Take a moment to think of some positive coping statements you can use next time you're facing a distressing situation. Maybe even write them down (perhaps on your phone) so you can easily refer to it next time you're experiencing an influx of those negative thoughts.
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Energy report for me only: Marginally better. Not good, not bad. Partly Ok with a chance of In between. Half and half. Traveling to Italy? I’d be Messa messa.
George Carlin: Well, to recap: she’s using my old bit, but I’ll allow it, cause I’m her writing this shit. So, she’s not too good, but not too bad. Looking forward for the 7 day forecast it’s probably not great but not terrible. No flash flooding of emotions but more like floating in the middle. Kari?
George: you ok?
Kari: nope and yep.
George: ok, I know that when I get either a nope or a yep now, something’s up, cause you ditched those terms awhile ago cause you felt like you played them out, correct?
Kari: yeah. Sounds about right.
George: what’s up?
Kari: ok, I feel, invisible. Even my own phone, doesn’t know me. It keeps calling me Kati.
George: I thought you wanted to be incognito.
Kari: yeah, I dig it, but I feel like George Bailey did in “it’s a wonderful life”, only with you instead of Clarence.
George: Clarence carter?!
Kari: no, he’s busy strokin...
George: ok, let’s not touch that... I’m here, ok? Let’s decide to feel better then a malaise.
Kari: ok, well, I’ve been depressed trying to find a new career that has nothing to do with creativity and collaboration, and something I’m still qualified to do. So far I’ve come up with, furniture tester.
George: oh duck...
Kari: look, I’m 46, have an associates degree, with no associates or associations what so ever...
George: well, you did walk away from acting and singing a long time ago to have your son.
Kari: yes, but I’m not the same. I don’t want to act and sing and prove myself on auditions and try to get an agent, and not know where my next job is, or be only as good as my next gig, or compete against women for a sex toy infomercial or a casino ad. And I don’t want to pretend I’m happy when I’m not. And I don’t want to be someone I’m not anymore.
George: who said you needed to do that?
Kari: that was my past experiences. And I’m tired of judgements, and comparisons, and snore... ok? I can’t even finish any of this conversation cause it’s too exhausting to recap.
George: do you feel that going back to the entertainment industry will be that way?
Kari: I dunno.
George: ok, look. Both you and I know that the field you first chose wasn’t the easiest to break into, especially considering you have no ins.
Kari: is this supposed to make me feel better?
George: No asshole! You haven’t been an actor singer in 15 years at least! Have you deleted your entire life since then?
George: ok, Kari, you have been an interior designer since 2013. You created an exhibit too.
Kari: it didn’t come to fruition.
George: so?! You created that shit! And you saw it through as far as you could take it alone.
Kari: yeah, but now I’m in financial ass because of it.
George: you will be fine, just focus on yourself and what you want to do next.
Kari: happen to know what that is?
George: writing! That’ll get you there.
Kari: now I’m cloudy with a 💯 chance of meh.
George: ok, Kari look. you’re connected to all that is, baby! You’re waaaayyyy out there, ok?!
Kari: are you doing your old hippie bit right now?
George: yeah, I thought the moment called for it.
George: keillor, stop trying to reinvent the wheel here, ok? You are just stalled cause you quit everything and are completely afraid of jumping back into the mix cause of your hang ups.
Kari: look George, I’m not interested in going back to a career that I’m not into anymore. Also, if I may be completely Sinatra, I’m not interested in experiencing the same shit either. I don’t want to audition to prove myself to anyone. I know that’s part of the process, but I’m more into creating the situations through writing, and not auditioning. I had a lot of fun at first, but it became, not fun, so no.
George: I get it, I really do. You took it too seriously and personally.
George: well, have I got the job for you! And it doesn’t involve sitting on your ass lamenting your past choices at 47.
Kari: I’m 46.
George: you plan on changing in the next few months?
Kari: probably not.
George: ok then. Write new shit.
Kari: what do you think I’m doing now?
George: depressing reactivation of old energy. Keillor, you aren’t the same person that you were when you last had agents and auditioned for things.
Kari: I’ll say I’m not.
George: ok then, write your new story. Something you want to see happen. Something better than ass.
Kari: I write ass?
George: you do discuss it a lot, yes.
Kari: true. Ok, we’ll, what should I write about?
George: I just told you! About what you wish to feel in your life. Not literally, like someone grabbing your ass, cause that’s smut writing, and that’s a different genre that I know you really aren’t interested in.
Kari: I’ve been accused of that.
George: I know. It’s ridiculous. I mean, you are the cleanest person I know. You talk about bathing and stinking and rebathing like constantly.
Kari: I do hate the stink... it’s in my dna, probably. I come from a long line of extremely clean women.
Kari: ok, I’ll do it!
George: do what?
Kari: I dunno.
George: ok, here’s the deal; you stop thinking about ass, and I’ll help you write your next piece ...
Kari: ...of ass?
George: ok, we got some work to do....
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