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#deep thoughts
zahrsmindan hour ago
I never know when to fight and when to walk away. I can't believe when I've been deceived. It's like, "Are you foreal?" "Is this how you really feel?" I never take time to process what's been done to me. Instead of feeling the agony, I push it down, and ignore it nicely. I put a smile on my face and say "I miss you." I never walk away. Because I know my footprints would bring you great pain. Even though, I can't find a reason to stay. But, I remember that night. I visit there in my dreams. Or should I say nightmares? I was fighting something dark, I tried to hold myself but I was falling apart. Slipping through my fingers, I called a friend and she told me I'm losing it. "Look at your arms, you're really choosing this?" As I wait for the hotline to ring, I waited for you to pick me. Never realizing I was in competition, I thought you completed me. If not completed, you definitely complimented me. My love looked so good on you. As you tried it on, I made slight adjustments. But, it was tailored especially for you. You couldn't tell me I wasn't the one.
But, I always felt like the two. A sucker for you. Second draft pick, how can I be number two? I felt like I was settled for. Why wasn't I everything to you before? All of me felt broken. It was only hours before we spoken. I didn't want to throw it all away. But, I didn't want the pain. I'm never ashamed of my love or how fast it bloomed. I'm trying to let the past go but I'm consumed. Something is telling me "Don't press resume". I need a break from the world's showcase. I can't seem to get past my mistakes, I feel out of place. Between this and my heartache, everything is causing me to stay awake.
- z.m.
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tro52 hours ago
Thought 28
Hi, I am pretty on time this week and I'd like to say I can pull this off every week but let's be real that's not going to happen anytime soon. I've come to realize that most of the time things don't go as planned and that's okay. We just have to learn to go with it stress is one of this world's biggest problems. I'd like to think I'm pretty good with it but honestly, I'm not...
We as people seem to have found a way to bank all our problems for a rainy day or simply just not think about them. In reality, we need to otherwise it can come back and bit us. I don't mean to sound like I know the solution to your problems I have a few of my own. For example, it's currently super late right now in my time and yet here I am typing this out instead of going to sleep. One could say no one even reads this why are you doing it?. Why I totally get that but I'm doing it for me and if it pops off then that's awesome.
I feel as though my words may someday help someone and sure the grammar is bad and it makes no sense. I'm sorry that it's late and my eyes are starting to burn due to the fact that I'm doing this in the dark. Yet, I'm still I'm trying. I guess that's the point to all this it helps me and I like doing it. That's all that really matters at the end of the day. If the stress is worth it to you and the end result is good then go for it stop holding back. I believe in you and I'm sure you'll be fine.
Thanks for Reading, TRO5
P.s. As always stay safe out there!!! Read more about my thoughts next week...
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nebulous-bondage4 hours ago
Sometimes you have to ask yourself are you dean-coded because of queer or queer-coded because of dean
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riddikulus-writings5 hours ago
Just late night soft thoughts about our resident Tin Can while I think of what to write for my OC fic I鈥檓 in the progress of--
Mando, with his dark demeanour and soft hair. Tricky personality that I can鈥檛 pin down. Mando, with his mysterious聽personality, and many secrets. He鈥檚 an open book about some things but locked tight on most. He鈥檒l answer some questions, but zip his lips if I venture too far. He鈥檚 always caring about others and putting their well-being and safety before his own, whether they鈥檙e long-time 鈥渇riends鈥 or鈥 or some strange scrapper he picked up by accident鈥 Mando, who was stubborn enough to break through my own聽stubbornness and fears to see what really made my mind tick. Mando, who was stubborn enough to support my every move in life even though I never wanted him to. Never needed him to.
Truth is, Mando was鈥 Mando. That鈥檚 why I think I picked him. He was different. A force to be reckoned with at all times, but yet so aggressively polite it bordered on abuse when he wanted to be. But鈥 picked isn鈥檛 even the right word. It just鈥 happened. He鈥檚 caring and loving underneath all that hefty beskar. Checking me over for wounds after a fight, protecting the kid with his own damn聽life. Pulling me into a tight embrace to calm me down after a particularly bad mental crack鈥
In all honesty, though? Yeah, I don鈥檛 think it was a conscious decision to fall in love with him. I can鈥檛 control who I fall in love with. Hell, I don鈥檛 think anyone聽can. But it happened. I tried to stop it, tried to ignore it, postpone it, run from it, anything! But doing that only made the longing to keep him in my life worse.
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greeneyedangel36 hours ago
No matter who I am with or where I am, I will always love you .
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sheiscandescent6 hours ago
I鈥檝e been in a rut...I haven鈥檛 been writing. I want to be uplifted and motivated but I鈥檓 fighting to follow thru. I鈥檓 tired of disappointing myself.
First, I will forgive myself for losing to sloth. Allowing my flesh to become comfortable at being comfy in my own mess. The only thing that can stop me is me.
For too long I鈥檝e complained about not feeling loved/ not being noticed...but was I noticing myself?? Was I loving myself?? How can I give to others when I don鈥檛 give to myself first? How can I expect this from others when I can鈥檛 do it for myself. I鈥檓 in serious need for an attitude and perspective adjustment.
The desire to create burns deep within me but my fear has kept it locked inside. Devouring me ever so slowly destroying me from the inside out. I am in control, or so I thought. For far too long I鈥檝e danced with this illusion. Today the music stops.
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grand-designs12216 hours ago
Perhaps this is the point where things start to break...
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friendlyprostitute9 hours ago
I feel like myself again!! I am so happy!! I am single!! I have a crush!! I am a librarian!!!
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deepthoughtsvibes10 hours ago
They say life is a party, but what if I would rather stay at home? I don鈥榯 want to dance to the song life plays because I would rather listen to silence.
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whendidmythoughtsgocrazy10 hours ago
Once something serious happens, you start ignoring all what is going on around and inside you and you try to protect yourself that way. But when it's getting more and more serious, your numbness starts vanishing. You'll face all your emotions you tried so hard to hide and all you do after is cry until your nose is clogged, your eyes are burning and your sadness, guilt, and worries keep clashing your thoughts like strong waves in a dark storm.
k.b. // the pain after the numbness
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obsessedoverthinker14 hours ago
Honor is "Not" our Name,
Honor is in the Deeds we commit.
I was sitting about today thinking of so many people who say their name or family name to justify whatever they do, even use their family tree to get about in life.
The thought hit me most of such people that I have encountered are usually the ones who mingle in things which their parents or ancestors would not appreciate and their deeds would get them in a whole lot of trouble, especially with their ancestors.
Our "Family Name" is given by our ancestors, and "Name's" by our parents.
We use our heritage for our advantage and miss-use it. At the end, when we are returned to the earth and elements, we will not be known by just our 'Name'. People will talk about 'Deeds'.
Let's leave behind the tradition of "Name" and start a tradition of "Deed".
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sageexperience15 hours ago
I believe In miracles, hope and faith
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