Day 71/100 of the gratefulness journey
Today’s little things that I’m happy about:
- Took a break and took care of myself with a long shower and doing my hair
- My so was very helpful and supportive of me and my stream, and also is the sweetest person ever
- Streamed for a couple of hours and had fun
- Took painkillers and a nap
- Had a nice lesson with the kid
- Despite not being the best day, I am very grateful for the things and people that are in my life and I’m glad I went through it
💓 If you’re reading this, acknowledge that you made it this far on your own. 💓
You’re doing great! 🌻
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reblog + put something you’re proud of yourself for in the tags! can be as small or big as you want, you deserve to be proud of all your achievements :)
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Navigating “Discourse” as a Positivity Blog
Please note I’m using the word discourse in reference to serious political and world issues in this post, I am not using it in the negative context it seems to have now, meaning petty internet arguments, and I thought I should make a disclaimer about that, that the issues briefly mentioned in this post are things that I feel are serious and important.
So in the beginning of this blog when I made it, I made it a point not to engage in discourse, and I made it pretty clear I would ignore discourse, and I’ve come to a slightly different school of thought on that manner, and I think that may be noticeable in recent posts of mine.
I think ultimately my goal with this blog is to uplift people, particularly bisexual women, and while I do love making simple positivity posts talking about my love for fellow bisexuals and encouraging bisexuals, I think I would be lying to myself if I acted like ignoring problems and “discourse” was actual positivity.
I think positivity without acknowledging problems and having open discussions to hopefully fix or bring awareness to those issues is 1. toxic positivity and 2. complacency. I think particularly with this year due to covid, blm protests, the rise in anti-asian hate crimes, and the countless other awful things going on, it has become even more obvious to me personally that ignoring the bad things going on in exchange for the guise of positivity is not positivity at all.
So with this being said, with the very small platform I’m very fortunate to have here, I think it’s important to me to post things with the intention to uplift, to share things going on in the world with the hope to spread awareness and to build a better world, to dedicate this blog to sharing bisexual history, and to acknowedge the bad things happening around us in a way that again hopefully can contribute in even a small way to bettering a very bad system and world.
With this said I probably still won’t engage in a lot of typical tumblr “discourse” as I feel a lot of it is very unproductive and just divides the lgbt community when solidarity has never been more important and I think there’s better more productive things to do to make the community better for everyone involved. Also I am still not super active on tumblr due to academics and also personal mental health issues.
If anybody has any posts or topics that they feel need to spread please feel free to send them to me. My asks and dms should be open.
♥ Much Love ♥
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submissions are open! ♡
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punzel positivity: a blog dedicated to celebrating our favorite roleplayers.
so let’s spread some love ♡
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your emotions are not shameful.
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✨Just keep moving forward✨
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Bullying Ruins Children and Not Just Short Term
Warnings: mentions of bullying, trauma, and the mention of self harm and suicide (not extreme mentions and not graphic)
When I was younger, I was subjected to extreme bullying. This all started around the third grade and didn't end until middle school when I switched schools. On top of this, my family was receiving death threats and suffering from horrible medical conditions that would have effected me regardless but made everything worse. I don't remember a day that I didn't come home from school crying. I often had sinus infections from crying so much and developed migraines from lack of hydration. My parents had to take me to the doctor many times and on occasion, I was almost transported to the ER. In light of all of this, I attempted suicide four times by the fifth grade and no one was helping me at all. I hadn't told my parents about my attempts and feelings, but I was sure that they knew.
bullying doesn't just affect a child's schooling or education. It also effects their will to live, their general perception of themselves, their ability to make friends, the ability to learn, and generally causes them to shut themselves down. As a child, I was gifted in the arts and other fields in education. As I got older and was experiencing more and more bullying I remember not planning for my future anymore because I didn't think I'd make it past the 6th grade. I felt useless and worthless. Nothing mattered anymore and the bills would be better paid if I were dead. I stopped really caring about school and fell behind to the point where I felt no need to even continue my studies. I never ever felt pretty and wore pounds of makeup just to cover up which caused terrible acne and more bullying. I gained weight and eventually self harmed. I have no scaring however, I can no longer touch certain things in my house and any rash or aggravation to my arms causes me to be triggered again and again. My doctors diagnosed me with PTSD, depression, social & general anxiety disorders, and OCD.
Now, years later I still suffer from dreams about what happened to me, fears, and anxieties. The voices and words that were said to me are just now starting to slowly fade away. Since moving schools, I am in all honors classes and working on getting into Beta Club next year as I am a freshman and couldn't be admitted by school rules this year. I'm taking Ivy League courses and now just starting to dream about the future. It's confusing now that I see so many options, but I'd rather that than nothing at all.
Years later, I started to see my true beauty. I am beautiful and regardless of what anyone says, I am perfectly and wonderfully made. I have bad days sometimes but I have learned to love myself for who I am: A mess, a smart ass, talented, gifted, special, beautiful, strong, independent, caring, and ambitious.
So with all of this, the next time that you see someone sad, being bullied, alone, or anything else. Even if you want to bully someone or know someone that bullies, remember that bullying doesn't just hurt for a few days, weeks, hours, or months. It hurts for years and years. You will never ever be the same after this all happens. Remember that life is precious and anyone that disregards it as worthless in attempts to pull someone down has a special place in hell. Remember that the next time that you feel worthless, you are beautiful, wonderfully made, gifted, loved, cared for, forgiven, intelligent, and you are important.
There needs to be a push in society to help those that are being hurt and tormented every single day by those who do not care about them or know them. There needs to be a change in the views of mental health and what is acceptable behavior. Punish those that have wronged others and have made others feel worthless, and re shine the gold of those who have had their golden wings tarnished.
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Everyone has got a little growing to do, and that’s okay! People grow and develop at different stages and different paces, so don’t feel like you’re behind the crowd. YOUR growth is independent from anyone else’s. So take the time to celebrate your achievements, even when they may not seem that big. You deserve it ♡
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Just a little note to all my babies in recovery: liquid calories used to be my biggest fear. Now the Starbucks baristas know my regular order because I visit so frequently. This is not permanent, and things do get better. You just have to give yourself the chance. <3
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“I’m sorry this is so bad-”
No, please stop. Stop apologizing. Do you understand what you just did? You created. You shared with us a piece of your passion, your creativity, your soul. Just the act of that in and of itself carries such an immense and profound beauty to it. Your creations may not look exactly like those of people you admire, but that is okay. They are uniquely yours. They are a badge of honor that you should wear unapologetically and with pride.
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Every day is another chance to bloom! It’s never too late to strive for your full potential.
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it’s okay if trauma has made you angry. your subconscious reaction is to protect yourself, and sometimes this is how it’s expressed: it doesn’t make you a bad person
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and the stars said: never stop looking up.
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Happy St. Patrick's Day! 🍀
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The truth is, sometimes you will hurt people. Sometimes, you will hurt people, and then life will move on, and you won’t have any way to apologize, or make up for it. But, your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You are allowed to move on without guilt haunting you over things you might have done years ago. You are allowed to come to terms with the things you did that were wrong, to change, and to grow from those experiences; you will never be stuck in one spot if you will yourself to own up to it, pull yourself up, and start again.
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