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#vent post
bbeeew · 2 days
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHEN PPL TALK ABOUT WHY THEY DONT MARRY SHANE, COULD IT NOT BE "he gets worse after 🥺🥺"
SPOILER ALERT. HE DOESN'T. "b-but he talks about drinking 🥺" AND HE STILL GOES TO THE BAR AFTER THE 8 HEART EVENT. DID WE ALL COLLECTIVELY FORGET THE AFTERMATH OF THE 14 HEART EVENT? THE ONE WHERE HE TELLS THE PLAYER DIRECTLY THAT HE'S DRINKING SODA AND TO NOT STRESS ABOUT IT? DID WE FORGET HOW UPSET HE WAS WHEN HE FOUND OUT THE FARMER THOUGHT HE WAS ABUSING IT AGAIN? DID WE FORGET THAT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE RELAPSES OR DOESN'T QUIT COLD TURKEY DOESN'T MEAN THEY DONT DESERVE LOVE?
FOR ONCE BE CREATIVE OR TREAT HIM LIKE YOU DO THE OTHERS. LET IT BE "he's just not the one I go after" OR "I had a family member struggle with similar themes and his heart events bring back trauma" OR EVEN SOMETHING LIKE "I just don't like how alcohol heavy it is"
JESUS AND HIS MOTHER MARY.
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Hehehehehhe I'm so happy
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smiledog15578 · 2 days
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This isn't normal, but I feel like testosterone couldn't even take what was never there since depression already took it 😔
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mlmshark · 2 days
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Desperately need a guy who makes me feel important, not like I’m a second choice. I need a guy that treats me like I’m a person, not like some dumb dog like everyone else does. I really need a guy that makes me feel like I’m actually wanted and not just some annoying backup that people have to deal with because that’s how I’m treated all the time by everyone else
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Man,,,I’m so tired
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mrs-snape5984 · 2 days
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“Free me from this pain, I’ve been running from…”
“I'm tired and I'm free falling. Free me! I'm lost and I am calling you…” (“Free me” by Sia)
I’ve experienced some very rough hardships in my almost 40 years lasting existence in this world…but I’ve never given up on myself. I knew, that I’d have to fight my way back out of these horrible miseries, and I kept my faith to find the path to better times…to find the path, which will lead me upwards again.
I admit, these hardships left their marks, their scars on me. They formed my heart and my mindset…they made me the person, that I am today. I learned my lessons…and I kept going.
Since I’m living struggling with this goddamn bitch of a disease, called ME/CFS, my life has only one direction: It’s going downhill…and it’s getting faster! In these past 1,5 years, I’ve lost more and more of all the things, which made my life worth living for. I lost my ability to do my job as a pedagogue and social worker. I lost my freedom, since I’m stuck in my dark room day and night. I lost a lot of social contacts, since screen time is messing with my brain and each phone call costs me too much energy. I lost my capability to be an active mother for my three children…and this is the part, that hurts the most. Damn, I lost so much more…and I feel my heart shattering in pieces every fucking day!
Everything in my life is slowly falling apart and I’m losing my grip on reality…and on myself! The newest pain in the ass is probably my habit of passing out every few days. My whole system shuts down in the middle of a simple talk or something else and I’m falling into unconsciousness! I can’t remember the things, I’ve done before…I’m just blacked out for several hours. At first, my kids were afraid in these moments…especially when they couldn’t wake me up from this state! But now, they simply accept that “quirk” of mine as their new reality…and my motherly heart is aching for them. This shouldn’t be their reality! They shouldn’t have to live with a mother, who’s always in the dark…who’s always lying in bed! They’re children!! They shouldn’t have to whisper in my presence. I should be the person, they can rely on unconditionally!! Fuck…my heart is bleeding…and I’m sorry for my pathetic venting.
I need a way out of this hell…but since there isn’t any possibility for me right now, I’ll keep on clinging on Severus. My fantasies of him and my way of coping with my misery by writing stories about him and my - oh so self-inserted - OC Julia/Jules are the only thing, that keeps me mentally stable functioning. Well…at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I mean, I know how depressed my posts might seem.
My favourite artist for my darkest ideas is my friend @madfantasy. I told Mani about my wish to be freed from my darkness…to be cured from my disease. I need a saviour…a true hero…I need Severus! Since there aren’t any promising medical treatments, I’ll need a magical miracle to get rescued. And this is exactly, what Severus is trying for me. He conjures the demons inside my soul and forces them to leave my body. Severus is the only person, who’s brave enough to face the darkness within me. He’s my knight…and the love of my life. 21 years of my life, it was Severus, who kept me going…who inspired me with his resilience and his courage! A lot of those previous hardships could be endured by me, because I had something, I believed in. I had something, that gave me confidence and strength. I had Severus. So, please…don’t let me lose my hope and my faith in his support. And don’t let me lose my faith in myself.
Mani, my precious friend, I’m stunned by your ability to understand my ideas. Every time, I’m commissioning you for another project, your art helps me to soothe my troubled heart. It is as if you’re drawing my feelings!! I can sense my own emotions in every single line of your drawing. You don’t know, how grateful I am that I was allowed to meet you here. I love our conversations and our understanding for each other. Feel hugged, Mani! I’m sending you so much love! 🫂🫂 (fly fly) 🥹🖤 Thank you for everything.
🖤Severus & Julia🖤
🖤Sevy & Jules🖤
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dulciechi · 3 days
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//cw venting
Never done this before but I figured I’d get this off my chest. Will probably delete later.
Went on an unexpected hiatus bc of irl stuff, but tbh, I’ve started to feel a little burned out too. I’ve said this before, but I feel like an imposter whenever I make COTL content bc of the way I depict Narinder. It feels like I have a different view of him that contrasts with the popular headcanon.
But truthfully, I didn’t fall in love with this ship as an “enemies to lovers” trope. I grew interested when we first defeat Narinder and he acknowledges his defeat, even as he cursed the Lamb. The fact that his vitriol is confined to insults over the cult decorations, and that he shows hints of remorse over his actions instead of mulling over his lost crown was refreshing for a villain.
Depending on your choices, we even get to see him accept the Lamb as a proper successor when they choose to resurrect the dead. Like he’s just proud to see them continue his legacy (and maybe grateful to have someone else see the value in it.)
Idk, but seeing a final boss act so graceful after defeat was more interesting to me than one who stubbornly held on to grudges. Sure, he was still feisty and haughty, but he wasn’t a sore loser. He wasn’t a constantly fuming edgelord and that’s what made the ship interesting to me.
This topic is probably too complex for me to properly explain my thoughts, but I just needed to say it so it’d stop festering in my head.
To be clear, I don’t think my interpretation should be the *only* one. I do believe everyone has the right to portray him however they want, since fandom is for fun. I guess I’m just feeling a little lonely after scrolling through the tags.
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y0urt0yd4ddy · 3 days
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Going from sleeping next to someone for years to sleeping alone in a twin size bed kills you.
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silky-silksong · 1 day
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Okay can I talk?
eric belonging to @night-light-artz
Patches @eve-pie
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Okay for the image above I was doing a “mock” warrior cat book. I miss the old covers but anyway
I kinda feel my art is…boring. I mean it just feels that way. Sometimes I feel I rush myself to get things done, and to be honest I hate having to rush myself. I look back at my recent post and they just fall FLAT. Flat as in the colors are just boring as heck. Lineart? I don’t really like. Not only that but everything feels so unpolished
My anatomy/details
I hate the fact I miss crucial details of my chat starts or even other people characters. I mean, HAVE YOU SEEN HOW I DONT EVEN ADD SILKY’s ANTLERS 99% of the time? That bothers me. And I see other people add them and I’m just “well damn I’m so lazy I can’t even add antlers on my own fucking character”.
Not to mention the poses. Everything feels so stiff with me. So dang stiff that you may as well call my art wood and use it as a support beam. I hate how I don’t use references for my art. Maybe If I used them more and actually took my time stuff wouldn't look like your average horrific Netflix Original cartoon of some movie.
Backgrounds/minor objects.
Do not get me started. I hate all of them. They look so low effort. I mean, I know I can do better with them! But it seems like I worry about the main characters so much. In fact, I feel the background just falls flat or blends in too much with the characters that it looks. Messy. If I draw a cup, i'll skip over details and it will look awful! Which isnt good, as it shows im lacking severly.
Time
And for time I rush. I feel like I have to literally push things out by day’s end and well…it affects my art. Lately o just been so focus on the hour and time it just makes the art suffer. Even if no one else sees it I do. I love my painted style, but it takes quite some time. And forgive me but I hate just doing sketches to and posting it. I prefer my art to be colored in and all the way. Now im not saying i dont like it when other people sketch. That would be a dick-head move of me.
Some days I fear if I don’t post or read inboxes everyone is going to think I purely abandoned them. I try to focus on my page. but just giving them a sketch at the end well...it makes me feel as if I just dissapointed them. I think to myself and say "I could have done better than that. Why did you even do that in the first place {Name}. "
I have like so much on my agenda and plans and then i realize I can’t do it all in one day. Hell sometimes I just make one day spefically on one subject.
If that day was animation day; I focus on an animatic.
If a certain day is art day and I want to set up my commission page (which is so messy I deleted it) then that’s the settled day. But I feel like I’m going so slow. It's like I am running out of time, and time is just passing by as I look at my clock.
And I'm not blaming anyone it's just my stupid head that makes me feel this way. I know no one is trying to rush me. But head is like "Oh but what if- and why not-". It bothers me. It clouds my vision and i don't realize in reality...no one is saying the things my brain is saying. Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering people when i draw their charcaters so much and tag them. I fear they just say 'Aw great it's this one person again."Sometimes I feel I need to be MORE original. And some days i feel i just need to give up entirely. Some days I think posting everyday will aggervate folks. Sometimes I envy the attention of others, and when I see what they gain or what following I have i look back at myself and say "Well maybe if you did this better than MAYBE you people will be interested in ya". And damn do i slam my head in a wall. Everyone just seems so happy, and yet here I am fretting over if this fucking dog I drew looks remotely interesting. And I just feel it...blends in. Like what is there so special about my art?
MY BLOG
And for this blog, I don't know if I truly have an identity for myself. There's Silky, there is Minty and Syrup, there is Simon and there is Shrimpy. But who do they belong to? What roles do they even serve in this blog? I want them to be my identity. I don't want them being just some sort of character leech. They lack story, they lack purpose, they are thrown in tropes and gag. But what do they relate to? Nothing. Nothing at all. And yeah yeah I know im thinking to DEEP into this. But it's been on my mind so much. And hell call me crazy for talking about them if they are real, but they mean a lot to me. A LOT.
So I tried to make my art interesting here like, i tried referencing images space. I tried adding more anatomy to Snowy since I am tired of doing the usual standing up pose. I even wanted to make the background feel more detailed. I feel a bit better, but I still fear everything is too...eh...bland. Maybe it is just me.
Sorry for the ungodly word of text. I know I shouldn't vent here.
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oce4nsblvd · 3 days
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why do i revolt him?
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swevenish · 20 hours
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the full thing!! the real deal!!
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batsbolts-andfangs · 3 days
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I hate my maternal instincts. I hate how I long for living, breathing pups and to have them raised by me because I can't handle that. It's too much both mentally and physically for me yet my bat brain screams from it. It's painful, I wish the instincts would stop and as much I take in plush pups it's never enough. I hate it.
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rapidhighway · 1 day
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every time I come back home I experience new mental illnesses -_-
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moistrodent · 2 days
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Making an un trigger warned episode that shows graphic depictions of SA and drug use is okay because viv lied about the story boarder being an SA survivor. That’s not a coping mechanism that’s just gross to do. Toxic coping mechanisms exist. My cutting, starving, and binge eating were all coping mechanisms. That doesn’t mean they were good for me. Use your fucking brain please, I’m so tired of hearing people say that. It hurts me as someone who has done so many horrible coping mechanisms to hear “it’s a coping mechanism so it’s okay.” Episode four gave me a panic attack.
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tapiokauwu · 2 days
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I can't believe I was trying to explain my symptoms and why I act the way I do to my friend and she answered "Yeah, well, we all have that" and "We all act like that sometimes". Why did I even try to explain? You say I'm your dearest friend but is that true? You don't get what it means to live like this everyday...
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witchiithing · 1 day
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I don't get it, I feel so uncomfortable around random men now, like I'm being judged all the time by them. Stop staring at me, I'm not trying to be pretty to pick up boys, that ain't my style, this is for me! Like seriously why do they keep glaring at me, we are in a subway, eat your bloody sandwich instead of staring people down you weirdo!
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