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#grief
selfcarevibes · 11 minutes ago
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When we grieve, we process our feelings about any kind of loss. Sometimes to move forward you have to take time to grieve dreams you had that you didn’t even want ...
a job you kind of hated
a partner you didn’t feel your best with
the identity and dreams that your family has for you
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sl33pingbutthol3 · an hour ago
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When I Think of Death
When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question, ‘Death, where is thy sting?’ with, ‘it is here in my heart and mind and memories.‘
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atealiers · an hour ago
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Jamila Osman - Bone Ghost
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deancoded-and-asinine · an hour ago
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It’s a drag, I know it’s hard, but you’re tearing her apart...
I was in my office yesterday preparing something to be mailed, and of course I was alone. They’ll be getting rid of our offices soon, so I also collected some more of my things while I was there.
The owner and founder of the company passed away on Christmas Eve in 2019. She was 80, and had some serious health complications that started the summer before. When she died, I hadn’t seen her in months, although I was planning to go with my friend to visit her soon. But then my own health problems made us push back our visit. So when she died, there was remorse and guilt, because we didn’t make it in time. Always so much guilt. I know, intellectually, that I was down for the count for July and most of August, myself. But I could have gone to see her any time before or after that, and it haunts me that I didn’t. It’ll haunt me forever.
So there I was, yesterday, suddenly standing in her office. It hadn’t been touched or changed at all since she died. The little Christmas ornament I made for everyone in 2018 was still sitting on her desk. Like most older folks, she loved hand-made gifts, and she always came over to thank me and compliment me when I made everyone gifts. Some years I wasn’t as inspired, but I was pretty proud of those ornaments. Anyway, seeing it sitting there struck a chord in me, and I found myself near tears for the first time since she died.
I considered, for several minutes, taking something from her office to remember her by. I saw two wool winter hats that had probably been hand-knit sitting on her desk, undisturbed for all this time. I had one in my hand. I just wanted a small token, with no ill-intent. But I couldn’t help thinking of it as stealing, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that her sons had no use for a woman’s knit hat, and probably wouldn’t even miss it. One of the only useful things I ever took from therapy is that I am allowed to feel what I’m feeling, but even knowing that, I still couldn’t convince myself that I “deserved” to have anything of hers. Who the fuck am I? I’m not family. I didn’t even go visit her.
So I left with a trash bag full of belongings, none of which were hers. I have the pamphlet from her funeral, so that’ll just have to do. I don’t deserve anything else.
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fateundermined · 2 hours ago
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Sometimes, it takes a stranger's story to surface one's own. Emotions that can't be defined suddenly well up and no amount of rationalization can stop it.
It is 6:28 PM as I write this, minutes after condoling a stranger behind the screen of my phone for his and his family's loss due to COVID-19. I'm unsure why I'm shedding tears for someone I don't know. I can't quite put it. Maybe it is the weeks of seeing what has been happening and not happening at all. Maybe it is for people I know who have become part of statistics. Or for the uncertainty that looms around people I hold dear. And for being far and unable to do anything much. Or our collective grief.
I've been squandering almost two weeks of my life like time isn't precious. And this stranger's story is like a tipping point, a sharp reminder that jolted me out of a haze.
There's more to be done. Need to shape up and move on to doing stuff that matters.
06:52pm, 12 April 2021
Blantyre
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ninjabelle · 3 hours ago
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6 months today. I remember thinking after it happened 'it'll be April in half a year, I wonder where I'll be and how I'm doing' and now I know. And it's not better, and time hasn't healed a thing, only made it more painful and real. The numbness fades and so does a lot of the support and the checking in and catching up. Dozens of letters and messages the first two weeks, only a couple for christmas, only 1 for her birthday. And then today it's just a monday and I want to crawl out of my skin with the hurt of it all. Missing someone like this, truly knowing what missing someone means is the hardest thing on earth, I can't imagine anything more painful, and I resent the whole entire universe for making it so, and for the fact that I'm alone with that love that has nowhere else to go. I bought her favourite flowers and a bottle of wine. I'll sit with it some more. Maybe in another 6 months it's easier, or maybe on that anniversary it's even harder. We'll see, until then I'll keep saying her name, talking to her, writing about it all until my hand aches and the words blur because I can't stop crying. Mama, when will it become easier? Am I too impatient? I'll wait a little longer still.
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wwtweets · 4 hours ago
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How People Of Color Can Experience Grief Differently Than White People My work on the planet is devoted to assi......Read the rest by clicking the link below! https://worldwidetweets.com/how-people-of-color-can-experience-grief-differently-than-white-people/?feed_id=46990&_unique_id=60745c5294ce9
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recoverywithanasterisk · 5 hours ago
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I lost another friend to Covid this week. We weren’t close, but he was someone that was really kind. He worked in a bar I used to go to a lot and one time I walked in and he gave me a toy dinosaur he had won someplace because he knew I loved dinosaurs. It was not long after I started talking publicly about my assault. It was a random act of kindness when I really needed it.
His brother is also currently in the hospital with Covid. The thought of losing 3 friends in a month when there is a vaccine out there is a lot to handle. Especially when I have already received one dose of a vaccine.
I thought about not writing about this because I’ve been trying to focus on sexual assault awareness month here. But this blog is also a place to talk about any kind of trauma and PTSD that may result from it.
This pandemic is a trauma. It’s going to be months/years before the full affects of this trauma is known.
In the past year, I think we have adapted so much to this messed up situation that a lot of us stopped saying out loud how scared we are all the time. Or how sad we are. Or how angry we are.
Please feel free to message me or send me an ask if you need a place to vent your feelings. Let me know if you want to see more posts about a certain trauma topic and I’ll do my best to find posts to share.
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fillierb00ts · 5 hours ago
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Healing Isn’t Linear
Let’s talk grief for a second because I have been a mess this last week.. At first I thought it was the new shut downs and stay at home orders – a full year of uncertainty pulling me down. My attitude has been ugly, and I’ve been very quick to anger. It wasn’t until I realized we’re coming up on 3 years without Mom this week, that I finally understood. It’s surreal that your body and…
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peach-clementine · 5 hours ago
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beneaththemoss · 5 hours ago
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Ropa negra, ventana cerrada
no pueden matar la tristeza
no en silencia o viuda mirada
veo yo su memoria belleza
Pienso en tiempos más lindos
en días de sol y calor
en lichi y en tamarindos
y en silencia de amor
Palabras y cuentas de oro
su regalo que me daba
su buen trabajo que yo doro
de su vida que pasaba
Amado abuelo, abuela amada
están, de nuevo, juntos
están en cielos y le falta nada
yo sé que están con Dios.
-Kent Fjalar (beneaththemoss)
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catmint1 · 6 hours ago
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You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?
Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body
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writingmylifesstory · 6 hours ago
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Letting go is the way to serenity. Grief is the path.
Boundaries
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“’They’d want the opposite, I think. More smiles about the time we had, instead of tears about the times we didn’t have.’”
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michele7962 · 7 hours ago
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Grieving Losses in Life
Grieving Losses in Life
Don’t Avoid it any Longer! Grieving isn’t just for the loss of a loved one. We all go through loss, but do we grieve the loss? Grieving isn’t just about the death of a love one. You can and should grieve the loss of a loved one, but also a career, a relationship or even a stage of life – and many other situations. I’m going to walk you through a different process to help you grieve (it’s not…
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iibislintu · 7 hours ago
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and still i hope, against all hope
(thoughts i'm holding onto really tight today)
i know they are clichés but i need them so much right now
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1. Grief is just love with no place to go (Jamie Anderson)
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2. The entire world is a narrow bridge, and the essential thing is not to become paralysed by your fear (Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav)
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3. All God can do is give his love (Brother Roger of Taizé) / And God created man in His image (Genesis)
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4. There is a crack in everything / that's how the light gets in (Leonard Cohen: Anthem)
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5. There's nothing you can do that can't be done (The Beatles: All You Need Is Love)
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How People Of Color Can Experience Grief Differently Than White People
How People Of Color Can Experience Grief Differently Than White People
My work in the world is dedicated to helping people access grief resources. Recently, I received an email that read, “Why is your site only for people of color? I guess you must grieve differently than an old white woman … disgusting and racist!” This question came up many times in the last year, in “nicer” and not-so-nice ways: Why do you think POC need different support? Isn’t death the one…
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karlitaaswayy · 8 hours ago
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He died. God, it’s still weird to write those words, he died.
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