rural towns feel so inescapable i can’t believe i grew up in one
Afternoon strolls (Meiji Shrine - Tokyo, Japan)
Pieces Fall Into Place...
Many years ago, when I was a teenager, my cat died on my (then) boyfriend’s birthday. The death was unexpected and heart breaking for all of us in the family. I remember calling my boyfriend to tell him, and to let him know I would be coming over later than expected so that I could grieve a bit. We had plans to hang out and play video games, but nothing else, so I did not think that would have been an issue. It shouldn’t have been an issue. But he was angry. “It’s just a cat,” he said to me, callously, over the phone. He was not sorry, and did not see why that should delay my arrival. My reaction was confusion, hurt, anger, and ultimately acceptance, because I did not stick up for my own right to grieve, to not center my existence around him and his needs or wants. Birthday or not.
Its the small memories like this that surface on occasion that have begun to piece together my relationship traumas, habits, anxieties, and my love language needs. If you read this and can relate to it, stand up for yourself and/or break up with them. If you can’t relate, I genuinely hope you never do.
Estoy ebria otra vez,
no sé cómo combatir tu ausencia,
cada vez más fuerte,
cada vez más duro,
me ahogo en tu maldita usencia...
The only thing I remember is his embrace and his hands in mine. And yet, it's enough to get me running back.
Bitte schau mich nur noch einmal mit Liebe an. Ich habe vergessen wie es ist.
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Disneyland Paris, marzo 2009. Ricordi felici. 💙 #disneylandparis #eurodisney #eurodisneyparis #eurodisneyland #francia #france #memories #sistersphotography #sisters #sorelle👭 #ricordibelli #ricordi #paris #parigi #travel #travelphotography #travelgram #travelingram #travelphoto #phototravel #viaggiare #viaggio #travelmemories #travelfrance #travelpics #disney #europe #sisters💕 #sorelleinviaggio #happymemories (presso Disneyland Paris) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNklIcEBZCh/?igshid=1rwu0x41x43il
To the memories we can never chase again
I dreamt of a journey. It was radiated with ghouls and everything that is uncomfortable. Rubbish littered all over the place and one thing's clear, it feels rather grim.
We walked miles and miles to reach something we can't fully grasp. we lost friends along the way but the journey goes on. the harder we push through the rockier the path gets. We started to question about life after seeing a few ghouls lending us a hand.
The fiery breath of the terrain became home and circumstances felt... fruity. Bitterness and oblivion bears wonder and gifts we now realize upon reaching the summit.
It was rather a tiring tread down the summit, back where we all started but it never felt the same; grounded and with friends we've never knew we'll make. We never felt so emotionally connected to something bigger than ourselves. We've all held hands and it was painfully sweet for wearing the smile we can barely wear. It numbs with sorrow wishing for more time spent together.
But alas, we were sent to different routes from each other. The shelter what was built is now a fading into memory.
Now, I raise this heavy cup of golden mist of the journey. We laughed together, helped eachother, and felt so alive.
Here's a toast to the regrets, to the friends we never had and to the words we should have said. A toast that I'd love to taste again.
He was still too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.
Reason to Live #5426
To be able to experience as much as I can! – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
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Wish I could go back in time.
I left my heart in London, and now I can't find it again.
If one day....
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I didn’t have a particularly rough upbringing, but I think there was an amount of neglect. Not physically, I always had clothes and toys and food... but emotionally I have spent most of my life disconnected from my parents. They don’t understand me and I don’t understand them. I did not learn how to understand or communicate my needs from them, and my only memories of talking to them about feelings generally left me just as confused and disjointed as before.
My dad is very inside himself, and my mother projects her shortcomings and insecurities on everyone around her. Growing up I was told many things about myself that turned out not to be true of me, but were instead the reflection of others. It wasn’t very emotionally healthy, and has had lasting impacts on how I interact with others.
It makes it hard to see myself clearly and understand my own emotions before they become overwhelming. It makes it hard to advocate for myself and my needs, both personally and professionally.
Most of my emotional and interpersonal growth has been awkward and weird and ugly because the way I was raised did not prepare me to be in touch with myself. I am so profoundly grateful for the people who were my guiding lights in my teens and early twenties, without them I would still be so deeply uncomfortable in my own skin and in social situations. But damn do I have some very uncomfortable memories of just having emotions and not knowing what to do with them or being a jerk to people because I just didn’t know how else to respond in a situation...