Let's plant seeds of love and watch them grow, Into a garden where our hearts will flow, let's nurture our love with care and grace, In this sacred space, we find our place.
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“I don't know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely.”
Sylvia Plath.
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Does anyone else feel lonesome?
Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.
Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.
Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.
Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.
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When Franz Kafka said that he is terribly afraid of dying because he hasn’t yet lived, i felt that on a deep emotional level.
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There is absolutely no point in trying to change how a person feels about you or treat you because if they genuinely care or love you, they will automatically show it without you trying to force it on them. Unfortunately that’s not how it works and it will only makes them respect you less. You must set boundaries and cut off anyone that’s bad for you. You have to protect not only your mind but your heart.
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You don’t have to be healed to deserve the good things in your life.
-Josue Camargo
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I wasn't good enough, but I tried to be.
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I promise to always be there for you, to make you feel cherished and loved I will prioritize your happiness and strive to bring a smile to your face each day ,you are my world and I will always give my all to make you feel special and loved.
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