I haven't seen the last episode and I really only watched the first three ones because the last one seemed to have a couple interesting things (it did), but tbh: tfatws is a continuing let down of the low expectations I already had about it, and what I'm hearing of the last episode is confirming it's not worth it for me.
I kind of prefer drawing for people (their characters) as it feels really nice to blend your style of expression with someone else's
Personal art can feel a bit too familiar sometimes, and even boring
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This is so random but seeing all these actors being casted for new Star Wars series makes me wish that could be Darren like how cool would that be?! He loves sw AND can act like I feel those are the people perfect for those roles since they’re so passionate. If I was his agent I would have made sure he auditioned for any of them. I just want to see him Act again in something not made by RM is that too much to ask lol
I 1000% agree with wanting to see him act in something with absolutely no ties to RM bc at this point im tired of it :)) and i know im not the only oneee
Like having Darren as cartoon Superman or Naya as Selina Kyle makes me sad cause like i wanna hear your beautiful voices but i dont wanna have to watch anything with a super hero in it lol
Star Wars is a little better for me. Like I’m not about to watch the mandalorian or whatever damn obi wan series is coming out but i like the movies. as a comedy spectacle if nothing else lmao. buuut i think if i could see darren in something like that then it would be worth watching. idk man anything to see his pretty face uwu
but also it’s just cute and cool to see super fans working on things they’re passionate about and that would definitely be darren. i could definitely get into that. if it ever happened, which... (: sometimes it feels like he will never be free of rm for good lol and that makes me sad :)
Doggy photo shoot 😍📸
I took a mini adoption photo shoot of my new dog at the beach today. I took it with my cheap tracfone 😊
This is my doxle. His name is Max. He's part dachshund and beagle and possibly one of the goodest bois ever! He's about 2 years old and was rescued from my local dog rescue in town. He was found in Farmington, California in a field with 3 other brothers and a pregnant female dog. I know his brother Rascal was brought to Washington state.
We were only supposed to foster this goofy little thing, then we just fell in love. He became ours March 20, 2021.
📌Birch Bay, WA, USA
📷 Samsung A01 tracfone
maybe unpopular idk but the glee fandom is so quick to shame ppl for shipping things in the weirdest way? like u got people saying fuck canon canon is bullshit and rib are stupid, and then ppl also like "if u ship this thing ur ruining the canon friendship between these characters" like.......it's a fictional show w fictional characters pls relax it is never that deep ship whatever headcanon whatever none of it actually matters (sorry for this i just keep seeing bs on my dash and ur blog is like the chillest i've come across abt this stuff)
Ahh thank yooou! I never thought I’d see myself be called the chillest of anything but I’ll take it
And I feel like it’s always about Blam or Hevans mostly, but also Kelliott when people talk about ruining friendships in the show. So, basically just Kurt and Blaine. They’re the only ones I’ve seen where suddenly male friendships are so important that it’s impossible to ship them with someone else (:
It’s honestly the weirdest thing?? People who hate Kelliott romantically bc it’s erasing the friendship between them (which, it’s not really, so...). Like god forbid you try and ship Kurt with someone he has chemistry with.
Like it’s usually the ones who are already Blaine antis. So it basically looks like...
Why ship Kurt with someone he’s friends with and has chemistry with?? You’re erasing canon male friendships which is the worst thing you could do! Try these handy alternatives instead:
Someone who physically bullied him for years and sexually assaulted him
Someone who constantly insulted him and tried to physically harm him
The British man with the personality of a damp paper towel
A literal senior citizen
A 15-16 year old high school student (when Kurt’s 21)
Please make it make sense. But yes bottom line is these are fake people lol we’re literally all just daydreaming and playing pretend here. Nothing you do with fictional characters is actually doing anything irl. Ship whatever you want <3
But seriously why do they think shipping two people automatically means erasing the friendship between them?? They think you stop being friends when you start dating someone?? They don’t think you should ever be friends with someone first before becoming lovers?? Sorry they live a sad life but I can’t relate to that lol
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You're so right about people tolerating every rps ship except cc. Once I mentioned how much I could tell it was C and D in that scene in hurt locker 2 that they IMPROVISED and someone called me a sick f*ck lol like what? The antis are significantly worse than the actual shippers. Btw for context I'm neither.
I think tho it probably stems from the fact that C was actively bothered by it and said that more than once. D also mentioned in an interview that C was bothered by it and that C didn't like D talking about him! So it sounds like it probably did get bad for them for a while, at least compared to other ships. Not to mention the attacks on their individual partners 😔
Regardless it's 2021 I doubt either of them even think about it now so we all need to move on lol. Sorry this is long.
It’s okay! I definitely feel you lol. And sorry but you know it’s the M*arren’s out there like they’re the weird ones with the hair trigger tempers. One time I said Mia was mean to me in a dream and I had people in my inbox calling me a tinhatter. Like.... ma’am.
You mention anything about Chris and Darren’s on screen chemistry or their improvised moments and suddenly you’re John Hinckley Jr lmao
And like maaaybe weird stuff goes on on twitter with people tagging them in shit. But you guys know I’m not over there. The social media desert of tumblr is my domain lol. And we all know you’re not seeing anything on here unless you go searching for it, or already follow people that would post it, and you don’t have it blocked. In which case it’s your fault and your responsibility what you see. And Darren’s mentioned being on tumblr so if he sees anything, he’s a big boy who came here on his own lol. I think he can handle himself. End of story :P
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An open letter to my feelings
I don't know where to start or maybe what to put on this blog, I don't even know how tumblr works but maybe I need this to let this burden on my chest, mind and heart rests a little...
I were trying, trying to be a good person every freaking day, to be patient at every step I made, to not think bad about people around me and to always give a second chance but I'm tired of all of this because it makes me feel the dumbest person on this world and yet I'm the same quite person who doesn't talk because it's afraid of everyone and so shy to speak.
It's so hard... I were dealing with a diagnosed depression at my 20s (now I'm 25 close to 26) and the only thing I did was telling me that I am the only guilty here.
The psychologist helped me a lot, but I went like 3 sessions and we were done??? I don't know... My parents were all worried at first but then, they forgot about me and my feelings and told me to 'move on with your life, change your mind, you'll be fine' ...
FINE MY A$$
I'm pretty f*cked up, I'm not bad as I were but I'm not good as they expect it, even the pills I took for sleeping doesn't work the most of the nights.
I am always overthinking, and when I say always it's like all the freaking time... It pissed me off so so much.. Every move I make in my mind have so many different ways to end up or maybe did I the right move? It's so frustrating, so exhausting... Even when I supposed to be quiet I'm not, it's like a shade, It is there no matter what and It's so suffocating me every single day..
I know I'm not the only one who suffers this, I know I have no right to write these words about how I feel because people are suffering more than me but I just- I can't talk to literally no one because I don't trust them, I don't trust anyone around me and that it's frustrating too... I know I have some people and they can count on me but when it's all about me, it's a different story... I don't want to annoy them with my problems, you know? And, again, I'm overthinking and feeling guilty ...
Every day I went to my job, I feel so useless.. And I am so insecure about everything, even when I have to decide between soda or water (yeah, it is an example, a bad one but it shows how insecure I am) And talking about my job, which I appreciate to have on this time, I wish I worked less hours to have time to go to therapy because this person who is writing this knows that she is not okay and asked for help but therapists say that 'your work schedule doesn't match the sessions' and it goes all down.
If I don't work, I will not pay my therapist (if I ever find one btw) and it's so hard to find one who fits in my work schedule... because I can't get out of work for my sessions (my chief don't allow me) but anyway...
And then it's the fact that everything I do, it's going wrong... I don't know how but everything, I swear, everything go wrong... It's like a curse, you know? It feels horrible
And the chest pain, oh lord, the chest pain is the hardest part of all, it's like I'm drowning in pain, like I freeze and I can't do anything and it pisses me off so so really much when I comes to me at my job because my partners thinks that people with anxiety or depression just 'have to change their minds'.
It pisses me off too.
I have so many bad days, so many thoughts in my head and pain, too much pain for feeling guilty for feel all what I'm feeling, for crying some nights until I felt asleep for not being like my parents want, for not being like everyone else, for feeling like a total freak.
I'm just tired of all of this.
I wonder how your name sounds in butterflies wings beating 🦋
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My Thoughts after Watching ML Lies
Spoilers under the cut.
I loved that Truth and Lies were parallel to each other: happening at the same time.
But that this was from Adrien’s POV. That was just really cool to see.
I applaud Kagami for understanding that she needs time - because, yes, being lied to is hurtful.
But I also feel bad for Adrien, because what else is he supposed to do?? This is going to sound a little twisted, but he shows her more love by lying to her about certain things so he can go be Cat Noir. If he tells her who he is, then she’ll be put in danger.
That aside, though, I have other thoughts.
I am seeing people talking about Marinette and Adrien’s true selves and stuff, especially after these episodes.
HERE’S DA TEA THO:
Neither of them have any clue who they really are.
That’s why I’m so excited for season 4.
It’s going to be not just about fighting Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth (btw who else was wondering why he didn’t give Kagami and amock??) or even about Ladybug being the guardian - though those are going to be some pretty huge pieces in play.
It’s going to be about Marinette and Adrien finding their true selves.
For so long, Adrien wasn’t able to do anything he wanted - and now, Marinette cannot. Adrien was able to try new things that he wasn’t able to as Adrien when he became Cat Noir - and so did Marinette. Perfectly poised became goofy, and someone who was madly clumsy became a graceful warrioress.
Both of them are now being cut off from those in their civilian lives because of being heroes, however.
Up till now, all 3 seasons and both specials have placed a heavy focus on relationships. Cat Noir and Ladybug, Marinette and Adrien, Kagami and Adrien, Marinette and Luka.
But now... those are gone.
And both kids understand that now is not a good time in their lives to have a relationship, seeing as they’re superheroes and cannot tell the truth/are forced to lie.
Kagami told Adrien that being goofy was not his true self. I don’t know exactly how to interpret that; my gut reaction was that Kagami was too serious to understand Adrien, then. (Which I’ve kind of always believed) But studying it, I wonder...
Is that his true self??
Because as Cat Noir, he cannot be true, either. He cannot have all the same elements that Adrien does so that no one catches on that he’s Cat Noir. But Adrien is him as well.
Adrien and Marinette are also part of their identities. Not just Ladybug and Cat Noir. I want this season to be them reconciling their two sides and growing because of that - finding their true selves.
And that makes me so HAPPY.
Not just because that would mean that these two characters will grow and change and become even MORE awesome; but because we’ve spent 3 seasons focused on relationships. Which is fine. It’s the reason I’m even invested in the show.
But the fact that the show might take a season for our heroes to step back, find themselves, and then - and only then - be able to move into an empowered and perfect relationship with each other (seeing as they are endgame) speaks volumes.
You cannot enter into a healthy relationship that will last unless you first focus on yourself. You must shape yourself, find your true self, gain experience, and be able to stand on your own two feet before you’re ready to be in a relationship. If the relationship is the thing that fixes your problems, then it will not be a healthy relationship.
Marinette and Adrien are perfect for each other. We know that.
But Marinette needs to figure out that she’s amazing. (Especially seeing as, in one of the trailers, she was saying that she should always be Ladybug instead of Marinette.)
And Adrien needs to figure out that he is as well.
They need to grow by themselves before they’ll be able to be with each other.
And, dude, I think that’s actually pretty cool.
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Pronouns are so fucking weird, like I don’t ever know if I like they/them or he/him. I just know I don’t want to be called she/her.
But at the same time I don’t correct people who call be she her because that honestly makes me uncomfortable
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Am I still human?
Out of boredom and intense desire, I decided to study a little bit of psychology. I had begun to do so in school before the virus became a global, life-threatening issue and I've always had a passion for the subject.
Well anyway, while watching 'Introduction to Psychology: Crash Course' on youtube, the - for lack of a better term - ''teacher'' said something very interesting that inspired a sudden urge to write my thoughts down before they became lost to the infinite vacuum of my mind.
He said ''What is consciousness? or the notion of self? - If I lose my awareness of myself, am I still human?'' and the question raised an interesting thought; most of the time I am NOT aware of myself... I'm sure I cannot be the only person who has these occasional moments of 'Oh shit, I'm a human living on earth' kinds of thoughts.
I often feel as though I am on auto-pilot, moving, saying and existing without ever really realising it until something suddenly snaps me out of that hazy state and causes me to see the world clearly as if for the first time. It always evokes a feeling of nostalgia, contentment and peace within me and I suppose the previously asked question has the merit of truth to it; I believe those moments of clarity are the most human of moments within our lives. So, I suppose that begs the question of 'well, what about the rest of the time?' and I'm afraid I do not have the answer to that...
SPN should pay for my Therapy sessions, that's what.
After watching Case live stream today, I just want to delete everything to do with Homestuck from my page right now. Homestuck just feels so gross to me right now...
The Deck of Omens
The Deck of Omens
By: Christine Lynn Herman
(Sequel to The Devouring Gray)
Summary: the teenagers at Four Paths must save their home.
Thought the Beast is seemingly subdued for now, a new threat loom in Four Paths: a corruption seeping from the Gray into the forest. And with the other Founders preoccupied by their tangled alliances and fraying relationships, only May Hawthorne seems to realize the danger. But saving the town she loves bed means seeking aid from the person her family despises most- her and Justin's father.
And May's father isn't the only newcomer in town- Isaac Sullivan's older brother has also returned, seeking forgiveness for the role he played in Isaac's troubled past. But Isaac isn't ready to let go of his family's history, especially when that history might hold the key that he and Violet Saunders need to destroy the Gray and the monster within it.
Harper Carlisle isn't ready to forgive, either. Two devastating betrayals have left her isolated from her family and uncertain who to trust. As the corruption becomes impossible to ignore, Harper must learn to control her newfound powers in order to protect Four Paths. But the only people who can help her do that are the ones who have hurt her the most.
With the veil between the Gray and the town growing ever thinner, all of the Founder descendants must put their grievances with one another aside to stop the corruption and kill the Beast once and for all.
But maybe the monster they truly need to slay has never been the Beast...
Thoughts under the cut.
I think this book was better than it’s forerunner, the plot felt like it was paced much better, and the whole thing felt more suspenseful, less predictable. It felt in this one like each characters individual plot lines tied together well at the end instead of each fizzling out in a boring climax, so the plot was good, the story was more interesting. On to the characters.
May: I liked that we got some of her point of view in this one because by the end of the last one most of the other characters hated her and she didn’t really have a chance to defend herself to the reader, she’s much more complex in this one.
Justin: On the other hand of May’s development is Justin, he has almost no speaking time and his plot line is barely there, most of the other characters seem to pity him and while he does have a part to play in the plot, it isn’t as important as those of his friends. He’s mostly there as Harper”s love interest and *Spoiler* even that doesn’t work out.
Harper: Harper really works some things out in this one, and I think she’s more or less content at the end, so that was nice to see. Her path was fairly straightforward in this book, but I do think her as a character is pretty revolutionary for this genre.
Violet: Her part to play in the plot is pretty huge, and I think given that she handles it pretty well. She’s probably the happiest character at the end and I think that really goes to show how much she’s grown during her time in Four Paths.
Isaac: Isaac finally confronts his past in this, and I think acknowledging it is what helps him move on. *spoilers* He manages to fix his relationship with his brother (more or less) and he and Violet start dating after they realize that they’re actually really good at supporting each other. (I was definitely rooting for them) He’s much less tortured by the end.
This book was definitely better than The Devouring Gray (at least in my eyes) and I can almost see how the author herself grew through writing this series. It was really worth reading.
Yeah I’d recommend it, but you gotta read The Devouring Gray first.
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Where did the concept that only girls can have daddy issues come from because I can most certainly assure you I have daddy issues as well😅￼
Im watching the falcon and the winter soldier right now (btw it’s the 10. April and im on ep4) and im just so baffled at how... politically irrelevant it is.
Like the only real argument it - unlike almost every other mcu movie ever ha! - seems to be making is this: using violence to enforce your ideology is bad except if you’re the government. Then you can do as much oppressive and illegal shit as you wan‘t. And what‘s more, they show the heroes doing that shit all glorified and expect you not to notice. And sometimes (seemingly at random) they chose to present those same actions as bad and untrustworthy but even then the message is only ever: there is singular bad people in the government/military.
Like the more you think about it it‘s just exactly the same as the bad apples shit with law enforcement.
And i feel like marvel is so deeply uninterested in actually exploring its political ideologies. To them it doesn‘t matter that „Live was good when we had no borders and refugee camps and it sucks that every good change went right back to shit as soon as the situation was normal again“ is a valid reasoning to have - and what that would mean for our real world. Which is such a typical american mainstream/hollywood thing to do. Hell, this entire thing is so fucking (conservative) american. Like the reasoning for bringing back a captain America is: yeah it‘s great that we have heroes for the entire world (who disturbingly are all american) but we need one once again who‘s specifically for the us.
Damn, is your target audience exclusivly american? Or do you really have so little understanding of the political situation in the rest of the world?
And I don‘t care that they make sam be sympathetic to this bc in the end i just know that it won‘t even matter. Bc the only argument they ever make is the stupid old „don‘t use violence it‘s not right“.
Like fuck you! When have the avengers ever cared for that. And no that dumbass sokovia accords thing doesn‘t count, like hell, it‘s actually perfect to prove my point bc at the end of that movie they were all so uninterested in the political implications of that situation they chose to have the plot twist be: nvm it was all personal anyway, let‘s end on a fist fight.
and all of this really only comes back to the fact that the entire premise for the mcu is so problematic: that we entrust the monopole of socially acceptable violence to a group of (civilian) individuals and have to belief in their benevolence and their unfailable judgement is antidemocratic and anticonstitutional AND JUST A FUCKING HORRIBLE IDEA!
and so what if steve rogers was that much of a good guy. First of all that‘s still not a basis for political/legal decision making. And secondly, he still is a part of a system. And this is what the mcu so fundamentally misunderstands/is uninterested in. Even though „good“ people being complicit by participating in a system is such a fucking relevant concept right now.
Oof, people, just oof. And i know: what did i expect, right? Like i have never been a fan of marvel for exactly those reasons but like at the latest since The Boys you can‘t just tell a superhero story and not deal with the problematic implications of that anymore. You just can‘t and simultaniously expect us to buy into that glorification.
My hip, knee and thigh pain is unpleasant today. Just going to lay in bed under my shark blankets and pretend I'm a mermaid that has accidentally got stuck on land.
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For the first time in over a year I had a friend come over. Just a guy who I worked pretty closely with for years in corporate America. He was always nice to me and always gave me the benefit of the doubt. He has since left the position and is moving into a van to travel the country as covid comes to an “end”. He’s wrapping up final van projects and will be hitting the road just days from now. But, before he went, he took me up on an offer I made (many months ago) to help him with work on the interior. Heck, I worked as a mechanic in the military for 4 years, and have always been great at building things. How hard could it be? And, I did just that. I helped him install cabinets and a desk into his future home.
THIS is what shocked me...
At the beginning of the project, I just kept thinking “You don’t know how to do this, you’re going to mess up his van and all of your creadability will be lost. You’re going to look stupid. Why did you even offer. You always mess everything up. He’s going to watch you fail and ruin all the materials he just bought. You don’t know what you’re doing. This is going to suck.” But I was wrong, that’s not what happened at all. I was hesitant as we got started, looking at all the wood with my head down, questioning my own abilities. I started assembling one of the drawers and and felt completely incapable even though it probably couldn’t have been easier. I guess I really make mountains out of molehills. He saw me fumble around with the pieces of drawer while completely lacking confidence and said “you got it”. Then, I gradually started to let lose.I let go of my fear of it not coming out perfect. I trusted him and he trusted me. I accepted that I might make errors when measuring or drilling and that I might owe him for the cabinet if I messed up that bad and it was the end of the worrying. I knew I could do it. His trust somehow reminded me that I’m actually very capable of building and being creative with my hands. So why was I questioning myself so harshly? I started talking to him and asking him questions. We made jokes and genuinely laughed. Normally, most people only get small talk from me due to my anxiety. I took a few looks at the materials in the van and my confidence was right there with me. I knew the length and type of bolts we needed to go pick up; the brackets we needed. The thing is, I just needed to trust myself. And when I did, it came out better than either of us thought it would and he sincerely thanked me afterwards.
It’s amazing how powerful your mind is. And, how such a small ounce of encouragement gave me the strength to find confidence in myself and get the job done like a boss.
Mental health is hard. I hope I can hold on to my relationships that have suffered so much.
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I always had this thought, this hope, of how I wanted my life to be since I was a child. For the longest time, I thought it was just a fairytale. Now, I’m chasing that dream because I want it to become my reality. I know it can be true. That is my life in this reality.
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