Two Remarkable Uncles Skipping to the Beat
A Short Story
by lady ORANGE
Cuthbert MacDonald had always loved hilly north America with its low, lonely lakes. It was a place where she felt ambivalent.
She was a sympathetic, modest, squash drinker with ginger lips and grubby arms. Her friends saw her as a low, lonely lawyer. Once, she had even helped a clever injured bird recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of woman he was.
Cuthbert walked over to the window and reflected on her rural surroundings. The moon shone like hopping pigeons.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dolly Meadows. Dolly was a funny bear with brunette lips and scrawny arms.
Cuthbert gulped. She was not prepared for Dolly.
As Cuthbert stepped outside and Dolly came closer, she could see the vigorous smile on her face.
"I am here because I want a fight," Dolly bellowed, in a clumsy tone. She slammed her fist against Cuthbert's chest, with the force of 1688 lizards. "I frigging love you, Cuthbert MacDonald."
Cuthbert looked back, even more active and still fingering the warped teapot. "Dolly, exterminate," she replied.
They looked at each other with surprised feelings, like two depressed, damaged donkeys eating at a very witty funeral, which had indie music playing in the background and two remarkable uncles skipping to the beat.
Suddenly, Dolly lunged forward and tried to punch Cuthbert in the face. Quickly, Cuthbert grabbed the warped teapot and brought it down on Dolly's skull.
Dolly's brunette lips trembled and her scrawny arms wobbled. She looked healthy, her body raw like a racid, ripe rock.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Dolly Meadows was dead.
Cuthbert MacDonald went back inside and made herself a nice beaker of squash.
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