#[ but consider that bucky was going to join the army one way or another ]

[shieldslinger-a]

so you know i think there’s a lot of comparison between robin and bucky and batman and captain america and i think that’s... honestly i can see why they get compared, but they actually have very little in common when it comes to the sidekick thing?

tl;dr: steve would kick batman’s ass for allowing a child to be put in harm’s way, no matter how bullheaded the child, because despite bucky dying at an older age (20), he was essentially steve’s younger brother, and he never recovered from that loss, and made damn sure that bucky’s death meant something--that no other child was going to meet the same end that he did. not if steve had anything to do about it.

so like, first thing and most obvious thing i want to point out: steve and bucky are partners in world war ii. they are partners during a war, where it was likely that if bucky wasn’t steve’s partner, he was going to enlist in the army anyway. like, not that that justifies anything, but bucky was bound and determined to throw himself into that war one way or another. he was not going to be dissuaded, and frankly, the culture surrounding him wasn’t going to discourage him either. everyone was doing all they could to support the war effort. and a lot of people were volunteering for the war. did you know that kids as young as 16 could enlist with parental permission? and there’s no telling how many soldiers were enlisting and lying about their age. so there was a definite culture of younger men enlisting and serving when steve and bucky became partners. and like--sure, maybe steve’s complicit in noticing that bucky’s too young to be enlisting--but keep in mind, bucky’s an orphan at this point, and in the custody of the army. the army can approve whether or not (or int his case, when) bucky can enlist. he wants to join up at 16? yeah, they’ll take him. bucky was going to join the army one way or another, and frankly, at least by being captain america’s sidekick, bucky wasn’t going to be shoved into a trench where his chances of dying were super fucking high.

batman and robin? 2/3 robins were 12 year old boys. the difference between a 12 year old and a 16 year old is drastic. 12 year olds have barely touched puberty. a 16 year old can drive a car. like there’s a huge difference in age there, and the difference between 16 and 18 isn’t nearly as drastic. and there’s no war going on in gotham, there’s no culture of enlistment or all-encompassing... effort? like there’s no organization, no real reason for someone to be trying to play hero before they’re an adult. kids could be kids in this area--tho crimes committed often interrupted that. but there’s still like... no real, pressing reason for a 12 year old to put on a fabric costume and face down people with guns, aside from someone who is supposed to be a parental figure thinking that’s a good way for a kid to deal with his misplaced grief and rage instead of like, yknow, therapy.

which kinda goes into my next point: there’s only 4 years difference between steve and bucky when the cap + sidekick stuff starts. they’re close in age. their relationship is that of siblings, of brothers, not father & son. and lets also realize that the first year as cap and bucky, they were stateside--bucky only hit the frontlines at 17, and a year after that, was 18. for a majority of his time on the frontlines of the war, he was of age.

and if you look at when he died? he was 20. he was a young man, a young soldier, but legally an adult. jason, the second robin? dies at 15. still very much a child.

like. taking a step out of in-world stuff for a moment, their roles are also very different. both were to bring in younger audiences, sure, but bucky’s overall statement is that young men were lost in a terrible, terrible war. bucky was an example of why it was so important that adults protect society, and children specifically. bucky’s death devastates steve. he never gets over it. and he never  allows another child to take that role--when rick jones tries and tries and tries to be his sidekick and be an avenger, steve says no, over, and over, and over again. he will not let anyone die like bucky again. period. end of story. if you are a child, your job is to be a child and enjoy life, worry free--not get hurt, not train for combat, not die, like so, so many people steve saw die. because again, remember, he worked with bucky and lost bucky, for sure, but he also saw so many young men die in wwii. that tragic loss stays with steve, even when the young avengers begin trying to form, where he almost completely tries to shut them down. 

but fuckin batman man. jason todd, aka the second robin, dies at 15, and not too long afterward he takes a 13 year old sidekick under his wing again. like.... don’t get me wrong, tim drake is my fave robin and he legit gave batman very little choice... but also: bruce is a grown fucking adult and he just had a child die on him. he should know better than to let another child volunteer for the dangerous job of his sidekick. all of steve’s sidekicks after bucky? adults. people who could decide for themselves and realize what they were signing up for. because they frequently did die, or get terribly close to it over and over again.

like there are some similarities between batman and captain america, especially when it comes to plucky sidekicks, but the context is really important to differentiating between them. bucky is a lot older than most robins when he becomes a sidekick, he’s underwent military training, it’s a period of war and he reaches adulthood by the time he dies. robin 1 & 2 are 12 when they’re made robin and really don’t have any business being robin, as there’s no external pressure or cultural push for it, and robin 2 dies at 15, only for batman to... not have learned a thing, apparently, and just picked up another child sidekick not too much later. 

#mun :: reads comics. #steve rogers :: headcanon. #steve rogers :: captain america. #bucky barnes :: winter soldier. #[ like. comparing them is an insult ] #[ you wanna blame someone for bucky being so young ] #[ blame the army ] #[ blame the culture ] #[ but don't point the finger just at steve ] #[ yeah he probably should've pushed harder to not allow bucky ] #[ but consider that bucky was going to join the army one way or another ] #[ he could've died in a trench at 16 ] #[ or in a plane blast at 20 ] #[ but it was so highly likely both of them would die ] #[ because it was a war ] #[ batman and robin? completely and fully irresponsible ] #[ and only really comparable on the surface ] #[ any deep read and comparison just... shows how fucked up batman is ] #[ and how much bucky's death really fucked up steve ] #[ anyway no one asked for this but here it is ] #[ there's no snacks i'll get off my soap box now ]

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Contingency Plan - Pt. 2

Bucky Barnes x 1940′s!woc!reader

|| MASTERLIST || PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 ||

Chapter Summary: You arrive in Italy to help nurse the soldiers and stay close to Bucky, hoping that he isn’t the next one to be carried in on a stretcher halfway to heaven. Series Warnings: 18+ only, racism, violence, mature themes, swearing, smut (part 2) WC: 2.5k

Azzano, Italy 1943

The damp, humid autumn weather was a stark contrast to the dry, cooler autumn climate you had left in New York. You had fought tooth and nail to get across the Atlantic and into Europe where Bucky had been deployed and 11 declined applications later you had been accepted into the Army Nurse Corps. The side glances you could handle, the whispers from the other nurses too, what really pissed you off were the wounded soldiers who cowered from your touch as if it were more damaging than the bullets that tore through their bodies.

“I want another nurse, a real one.” A man growled as his blood seeped out of the wound he wouldn’t let you fix.

“Is that before or after you bleed to death?” You shot back as you pointed around the already overfilled infirmary tent of groaning men. “I am more than happy to go and save someone else’s life while you die waiting for your ‘real’ nurse.”

“Fi-fine.” He ceded as his strength faded along with the colour in his face. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Lucky for you, I am not one of the ones they slapped a cap on and declared a nurse. I have been doing this for longer than the war had been fought, Corporal.” You said as you pressed the thick padding into his wound and reached for a bandage to wrap it with.

A warm body brushed by yours and grabbed a bandage from the table, already opening it for you before you could ask and Bucky kissed your temple before moving out of the tent again. Whenever he had a second to spare he would pass through the infirmary and steal a kiss on his way around the camp.

“You could not be in better hands, Jones.” He called out to your patient before throwing the flap back and escaping to the fresh air that wasn’t tainted with blood and death.

“That was Sergeant Barnes.”

“Yes, that was.” You nodded, a small smile growing just at the mention of his name.

“He kisses you.”

“I should hope so, he is my husband.”

You could tell the man was no longer in the clutches of death as his cheeks burnt red with embarrassment and he stammered an apology. It was always the same. When you first arrived at the station most of the other nurses had completely ignored you, those were considered the nice ones. You had been given a separate tent and used it to distance yourself from everyone else, not that it was difficult when you were given a tray of food to eat alone out of the mess hall.

Things changed when Bucky came back from his trip to the front lines, tales of his marksmanship skills spread across the camp and his popularity soared. He defiantly carried your tray of food into the mess hall with one hand and yours in the other, sitting you amongst the 107th infantry you had heard so much about. After that a few of the nurses struck up conversations and the 107th soldiers greeted you as you walked amongst them. It was the rest of the camp that refused to evolve.

You were actually thankful for the separate tent you had been given as Bucky was able to join you every night, letting his strong facade fall in your embrace, letting you see how much the war was affecting him. There were nights when you thought the sun would never shine again, when his tears soaked your shirt and froze the skin beneath. You would lay awake for hours, stroking his hair that was no longer soft and smooth but greasy and grimy. You listened to his steady breathing and held him a little tighter so you would never forget how he felt in your arms.

“107th, 107th, report to the central tent.” A heralder called out as they walked around the camp and your stomach dropped.

Bucky had only just got back and they were calling his unit again. You were desperate to find him but you couldn’t leave your post with the men needing you there. Thankfully, your husband crashed through the tent flap, panting from his sprint wherever he was and wove through the crowds of cots to grab your face. Whistles filled the air from a few of his friends who were laid up but they were far from the front of your mind as you kissed your husband like it could be the last time. Your heart broke a little every time he kissed you like this, as if he could steal your very breath and save it for when he needed it most.

“I love you.” You whispered as he pulled away, “Find me when you get back.”

“I’ll always find you.” He promised before indulging in one last lingering kiss. “I love you too, always.”

The next three months were a blur and if it wasn’t for your work you were sure you would have crumbled to the floor and never moved again. When the news broke of the 107th capture the pain was unbearable. You couldn’t stomach any food and sleep evaded your reach to the point you swore you kept seeing glimpses of him around you. Twice you collapsed from sheer exhaustion but you refused to stay down, you had to do something and keep moving.

“Y/n!”

You shook your head as you heard a familiar, albeit deeper, voice call out. It wasn’t possible that it was Steve though, he was meant to be off with his little merriment of star spangled dance troupe. It wasn’t until he called out to you again that you realised it wasn’t another hallucination and turned to find Steve two feet taller than the last time you saw him. Your mouth was still gaping open when he wrapped you in a hug and found he still hugged the same as the little guy from Brooklyn.

“Steve, Bucky…he…” Fresh tears, that you were sure had dried out weeks ago, filled your eyes as you clung to his costume and his hand drew soothing circles across your back.

“I know.” He croaked with a hoarse voice. “I’m going to get him back, y/n, I promise.”

You nodded against his chest, not trusting your voice to betray your thoughts. Steve may be a giant of a man now but he was still only one man.

“If we are going to do this, we need to go now.” A woman hurried as she stuck her head out the tent to look out.

“I have to go.” Steve sighed and pulled away, his great big hands covering your shoulders as he bent his knees to look into your eyes. “I’m bringing him home.”

“Watch you back, please, don’t do anything stupid.” You begged as he made his way out of the infirmary. “I can’t lose you too.”

“You haven’t lost Bucky.” He snapped before realising the bite to his words, offering a small smile in peace. “And I’ll be just fine, your husband took all the stupid with him.”

A small laugh choked out and you shook your head at the little idiosyncrasies that Steve and Bucky shared. Your trembling hand gave a small wave and he ran across the damp ground with the woman you hadn’t caught the name of but you had seen around the camp before. The pit in your stomach should have eased with Steve’s confidence but it only grew as you imagined losing him as well.

Night fell and once again you were left alone in your tent, clutching Bucky’s finest army coat to your chest as you cried for him. The brass buttons were cold to the touch and dug into your skin as you silently screamed into the thick padding, your soul crying out for him to return. Eventually exhaustion won after the tears ran out and you fell into a restless sleep only to wake up late to cheering.

Confusion eroded the dregs of sleep from your mind and you sat up to find your thin blanket discarded with the fits in your sleep. The cheering wass increasing, rhythmic beats of the crowds chanting and beating anything that made noise a drum. You hastily pulled on your army issued skirt and tucked the blouse in before slipping on your shoes and breaking free of the tent.

“Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

Your feet stumbled as you heard his voice above all of the din, the voice that you would know anywhere and could call you home no matter the distance. Bucky. Your heart slammed against your chest as you picked up the hem of your skirt and sprinted into the crowd that had gathered to greet the men. You could barely see through the tears brimming in your eyes as you pushed your way through the men, ignoring the angry and disgusted growls at your touch.

“There’s my girl.” Bucky grinned as he saw you break through the last line of soldiers.

It felt like a dream seeing his wide smile splitting across his dirty face and you could barely cover the short distance left between you. Your fingers were shaking as you raised them slowly to his face, scared that you would wake if you were to touch him or scared that they would pass straight through him and find it was just another mirage. He closed his eyes and tipped his cheek against your hand, a gasp rippling through the air as you felt the warm touch beneath your skin.

“You’re really here.” You blinked through the tears and threw your arms around him, his own coming to encircle your waist as he buried his face in your neck.

“I promised, didn't I?” He chuckled quietly in your ear, the sounds of the crowd disappearing as he surrounded you. “‘M sorry I’m late, doll.”

“I think I can forgive you.” You laughed, a sound that had been foreign to your ears for three months. “Don’t go doing that again though, my heart could not take it.”

His fingers laced with yours and he raised them to his lips, kissing the thin silver band that encircled your wedding finger. You should have recognised the silence as an omission to promise you he wouldn’t do it again but you were too busy thinking about his soft lips that were placing delicate kisses up your arm.

“I missed you.” He husked as he reached your shoulder and kissed the sweet spot beneath your ear.

“Tent?”

“Tent.” He affirmed before grabbing your hand and turning in the direction of the tent out of the main camp.

The crowd parted ways for your Sergeant and the sounds of their jovial cheers fell away as you hit the treeline, his pace picking up to almost a run that had laughter bubbling forth from your lips. He looked back a moment to grin, his eagerness clear for anyone to see before the tent came into sight and he tugged your hand even more.

His hasty fingers tied the tassels that held the tent flaps closed while your hands worked at pulling his filthy shirt out of his trousers and then pushing them down to the ground. Dirt and dried blood littered his skin and you stopped as you saw the wounds that were healing all across him.

“What did they do to you, baby?” You whimpered as you touched what once was a nasty gash and hoped whoever did it got their retribution.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m here now.”

He shivered under your touch as you traced the soft line of hairs that ran down his chest and found at least one part of him that wasn’t injured. His lips parted as you wrapped your fingers around his thick cock and swore he was larger than before, but 3 months without him was probably the reason. You had barely even begun to stroke him and a drop of precum was leaking from his tip and his eyes fluttering shut in ecstasy.

“I need to feel you, doll.” He begged as he pushed your skirt to the floor and popped the buttons on your blouse. “Missed you so much.”

He walked you back to the cot in the corner and laid you on the thin mattress so he could kiss his way down your body, teasing your dripping lips with his tongue before kissing his way back up to your mouth. The heat of his kiss left you delirious but you knew he was desperate to fill you so you hooked your legs over his hips and welcomed him home.

His deep moan sent goosebumps prickling over your skin and your head pushed back into the barely-there pillow as your body stretched to accommodate him. You gasped at the fullness of him inside you and your fingers dug into his back as he began to rock gently, the cot groaning beneath you. The initial burn of pain was quickly gone and a new warmth was pooling at your core instead, his long strokes eliciting wanton cries that he tried to absorb with his mouth.

“You feel so good babydoll.” He murmured as he nuzzled into your neck, inhaling your scent that he had missed. “So damn tight around me.”

“God, Bucky, you feel so big.” You panted as he sucked at the skin of your collarbone before sitting up and pulling you with him. “Oh, fuck, you’re so deep.”

You stared into his blue eyes that were almost green with the reflection of the tent walls and you buried your fingers in the longer strands of his hair at the top of his head. Your hips rocked against his while his hands splayed across your back and kept your bodies pressed together. His dog tags dug into your sternum and his breathing sent hot waves across your neck as you both buried your head in the other's neck, unable to possibly get any closer.

“I love you, y/n, always.” He promised as his arms tightened their hold on you and your core clenched with the spark of your orgasm.

“I love you too.” Your words dissolved into silence as every muscle in your body shuddered and your walls clamped down on his cock.

The world around you shattered and all that was left was you and Bucky. His soft grunt filled your ear as your release triggered his and he lowered you back to the bed, resting his head on your chest as he let himself relax for the first time in months. Before he knew it his eyes were closed and you stroked his hair as his breathing evened out, feeling every breath in your core that was still full with his unrelenting erection.

You knew you weren’t going to get an answer but still as you traced the scars on his back you had to ask. “What did they do to you, baby?”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Part three click HERE

#bucky barnes x woc!reader #bucky barnes x poc!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #marvel fanfiction #bucky imagine

[brooklyns-supersoldiers]

Drunken Confessions

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: Mentions of drinking/being drunk

Summary: You leave Bucky a drunken voicemail and try to delete it. It doesn't go quite as planned though.

(Loosely) Based on the prompt: Character A leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on Character B’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [B]’s phone.

Word Count: 1,239

A/N: Written for the lovely @wkemeup's 9K Writing Challenge. You picked some really good prompts so I may have some more in the works, consider that your warning haha! I just want to say I absolutely love your writing! Congratulations on 9K! I'm proud to be one of your followers and I hope you enjoy this!

~

A quiet “oof” followed by a giggle woke Bucky up in the middle of the night. He immediately sat up in bed confused as he tried to find the source of the sound before his eyes landed on you. You were currently on the floor, a hand pressed to your mouth to try and muffle the giggles spilling out.

“Shh… go back to sleep.” You finally managed to whisper after you realized you’d been caught.

“Why are you on my floor, doll?” Bucky asked you amused. It wasn’t unusual for you to end up in his room or him to end up in yours. You two have gotten extremely close over the past year since he joined the team. At this point the two of you were practically inseparable. He got up and offered you a hand which you gladly took, quickly glancing over at his phone once you stood up before focusing back on his face. Bucky raised an eyebrow, still waiting for an answer you realized.

“I got lost and then the floor attacked me?” You tried as you attempted to keep a serious look on your face. You failed and bursted into giggles once again causing Bucky to shake his head at your antics.

“How was the girls night?” He asked you as he sat down on the bed again.

You, Natasha, and Wanda had gone out on your monthly girls night tonight. It had quickly become tradition for you all to go out to blow off some steam once a month when your schedules could handle it. This night it consisted of the three of you hitting up a bar, catching up and having one too many drinks.

“It was fun.” You replied, inching closer to the nightstand where his phone sat. Bucky once again raised an eyebrow at you.

“How many drinks did you have?” He questioned trying to get to the bottom of why you were acting this way.

“Uhh…” You started counting on your fingers. “At least four? Unless shots count… then more than that.” You sneakily, or so you thought, grabbed his phone off the nightstand while you answered and started inching towards the door again. Well, that explained your behavior at least.

“I see. Why do you need my phone?” He asked and had to stop himself from laughing when you went wide eyed at the fact you’d been caught. “Ummm… I just need to borrow it for a second!” You managed to get out before trying to run for the door. Bucky was quicker though and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you close before you could even reach the door knob. You squealed and tried to escape his grasp.

“What are you doing with my phone, doll?” He asked again as he tried to grab it from you. You quickly clutched the phone to your chest for dear life, swatting his free hand away whenever it got close. Bucky let you go and you dropped to the floor, now trying to army crawl towards the door with his phone still clutched tightly in your hand. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at your antics as he easily moved to stand in front of the door.

“Umm… could you move? I’m on an important mission.” You asked him, looking up when you realized he was blocking your exit. You bit your lip to hold back your giggles. Even in your drunken state you knew how ridiculous you were being.

“You want to fill me in on the mission?” He questioned, crossing his arms and trying not to smile, but it was almost impossible with how you were acting.

“It’s top secret. I’m afraid you don’t have the clearance.” You informed him. “Umm… I do need you to unlock it though. What’s your passcode?”

“I’m afraid you don’t have clearance for that. Let me see.” He told you as he grabbed it back while you were distracted. You yelped and immediately tried to grab it back. Bucky simply held it over his head out of your reach. After a few failed jumps, you gave up.

“Looks like I have a voicemail from you, doll. Should we listen to it?” Your eyes went wide at his question. Bucky finally was able to put two and two together.

“Oh, was that the mission? To delete it? We definitely have to listen to it now.” He teased as he unlocked his phone and immediately went to play it on speaker.

“Buckyyy!” Your slurred voice suddenly filled the room and you instantly cringed and sat on his bed. “Hi! We were just talking about you and I wanted to call you. You’re probably asleep. That’s okay. Not that you need your beauty sleep though. You’re always pretty.” There was a giggle and it sounded like you were telling your friends to be quiet as you held your phone away from them. Bucky looked over at you slightly shocked while you turned bright red, trying to avoid his eye.

“Anyway! Where was I? Oh yeah, you’re soooo pretty! I miss you! Like a lot. Ugh! Nat wants me to get off the phone. Okay, love you, Bucky! Byeee!”

Finally the message ended and an awkward silence fell on the room. You bit your lip and continued to stare at the floor. It was tame for the most part. You knew worse things could have come out of your mouth, but that didn’t make what was said any less embarrassing especially when you were sure he didn’t feel the same way. He only saw you as a friend.

“Doll.” He stated as he kneeled down in front of you, a soft look on his face. “Y/N, look at me.” You finally looked up at him, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You told him before bursting into tears. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I was trying to delete it before you listened to it.”

“Y/N-” He started as he wiped away your tears before you interrupted him.

“It’s so embarrassing.” You mumbled. “I’m sure you don’t feel the same way. Let’s just-” Before you could continue to speak, he cut you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. You were caught off guard at first, but quickly returned it, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. It was everything you imagined and more. It was soft and sweet and left you wanting more.

“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly as he pulled away. “That you love me?”

“Yes.” You admitted, pressing your forehead against his. “I have for a while.”

“I love you too.” He whispered, placing another kiss to your lips and your heart swelled at the words. Bucky loved you too. “Now, I’d love to actually talk about this but it’s 2:30 in the morning and you’re also still a little drunk. How about we get some sleep and talk when we wake up?”

You nodded in agreement, starting to get up, but he gently pushed you back down onto the bed. You smiled and laid down on your side, getting the hint. You watched as Bucky moved around and got on the other side of the bed. His arm instantly wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his warmth. You sighed contently, closing your eyes and quickly drifting off to sleep. Maybe your drunken voicemail wasn’t all that bad.

#kas9kwc #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fluff #one shot

[lovinghiddleston]

Enemies to lovers; Bucky Barnes (TFATWS)

The reader doesn't like Bucky for some reason and he is still trying to flirt with her

Gif is not mine. Credits to buckysbarnes.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader.

Warnings: This became a cliché really fast, I warn you.

A/N: I'm not a native English speaker and I'm also new on Tumblr so pls don't be rude. I hope you enjoy this!

MY WORKS BELONGS TO ME. DON'T TRANSLATE, DON'T COPY AND DON'T PUBLISH THIS ON WATTPAD OR ANY SITE.

You were ready to fight right when John Walker visited you a few weeks ago. You weren't a hero and you didn't want to become one, like the Avengers and all their weird friends from space. No matter what people expected from the new Captain America and his mates, you used to have a completely ordinary life. Being a human, the superpowers didn't exist in your own language. Of course you wanted to do something important for the world and you had been put in there because you deserve it. You’d been in the army, going to terrible places and learning awful stuff from a close perspective. You were a fighter and even when your job wasn't like the others you had before, you'll be learning everything you could on the battlefield.

On the other hand, John Walker was a dick, you didn't like him and he obviously knew it. You used to hate when people wouldn’t stop talking and considering the man didn’t do anything but comment the way he was going to replace the iconic Steve Rogers, it was simple for you to understand you'll be keeping distance from him.

"Hey, can you pass me the bottle of water, Sweetie?" your eyes closed for a short second, John was the first one in your hate list, and still there was another man who also bothered you like hell.

Bucky Barnes was the man who tortured you in real life and the man who also appeared in almost every single one of your dreams. You tried to remind yourself you only had a crush on him, nothing really deep or strong. At least, that's what you tried to keep in mind. He had a gorgeous face, a beautiful smile and an interesting backstory. Oh, and you couldn't forget his vibranium arm. It was the first time you ever met an older man whose age was a hundred and something, things like that didn't happen every single day. Your crush on Bucky had to be something particular and ethereal, just because he was interesting. Nothing more. Urgh, If you only believe in your lies.

You didn't really know how the flirtation started or when was the first time he said something at all to you. It was usual for you to keep silent, more after a fight and a new couple of problems. Anyways, Bucky didn't think the same as you, because he hadn't stopped talking every time he was around you.

"You have hands, James. I'm sure you can take your water by yourself." there was no kind tone in your voice, he always found a way to get on your nerves. Bucky muttered something and you kept your eyes focused on the small screen.

"Well, should we watch something on tv together?"

"I'm already watching something." you answered, avoiding his intentions of doing-whatever-he-wanted.

"I like the…"

"I cannot understand something. Flirtation really worked for you in the 40's?" Bucky rolled his eyes but nothing on his face showed you that he was angry. It was common for you two to keep those little fights in peace.

"Well, you had to see Steve back then. If you think I suck on this, he'd make you rethink things." you smile ironically.

"Poor girls."

Bucky sat on the same couch you were sitting on, his eyes met yours and you could feel the butterflies around all your body. He sucked at flirting, but he still kept making you feel things for him. It wasn't right, it must be unfair because all you can think was in his smile and the way he pronounced your name. The first time you saw him was when John asked you to join his team, it was the first time you worked with the new Cap and you easily predicted that it was the last time too. You were just thinking about leaving John and Lemar on their own, when Bucky and Sam joined the battle.

Supersoldiers weren't your speciality, you couldn't care less about the Flag Smashers, however, you accepted the job because of the trip. They punched you in the face like a hundred times and when you decided to leave, a brunette man offered you his hand. Of course you didn't accept, you were too ashamed of losing the fight and there was no way you could let a man help you after that. Probably you sounded pathetic, but you were extremely prideful and your pride was hurted after what happened with Karli and her group.

Even then, it just took you less than five minutes to find out you were interested in that man and probably, you accepted again 'cos you were curious about him.

"You know, we could be the type of enemy to lovers relationship." Bucky talked again, and you saw him with a smile on your face.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you read fanfiction before."

"I kinda did, do you know that there's fanfiction about me all over the place?" You could imagine that, after the first time you saw him, you did some research. Bucky was a mysterious man and some people on the internet made up some stories about him. Talking about not admitting things, you'll never ever admit that you read those when you got bored days ago.

"We're not enemies." You admitted, after hearing him.

"But we're not lovers either."

"Why do you have the idea of us as lovers? What makes you think that I'm into guys like you?" You asked, lying to yourself and to the man who was sitting on the couch close to you.

Bucky smiled. "Because you talk about how much you hate your stupid team but you follow them in every place I am too. You talk about how much you hate me and I never saw you go away. In fact, I think you saved my ass a couple of times, even when I never saw you defend John."

"Watch out." You muttered.

"What? You're going to deny all this? Your feelings?" Bucky was trying to piss you off again, that’s what he was doing the whole time he was around you.

"That's bulshit, I don't have feelings for you."

"Keep lying to yourself, angel."

You opened your mouth at that moment to say that you were so far away to be an angel, but you preferred to keep your mouth shut, Bucky was messing with your head on purpose and you couldn't keep his little game running. Suddenly, you got up off the couch and took a bottle of vodka that was on top of the table with other drinks. You took a glass and raised your head to see the older man watching you from the distance. Damn, you were in John's team, you could think about all the mistakes you'd make just because you have a crush on him. No mattered how much he tried to flirt with you, saying all those stuff, you had to remember to yourself that it was a stupid crush.

"Why don't you like me? I did something bad?" He asked you, just when you taste the vodka in your lips. He left the couch and approached you with a few safe steps.

"There's no reason." You said to him, because he didn't do anything specific to make you feel angry or reluctant with his presence. After all, he wasn't the only one who got you tired of hearing.

"Then, why?"

You moved your eyes for all the room, confirming again that you two were alone. John was talking with Lemar and Sam in another room and you didn't join them because you were tired of work stuff. You were supposed to be alone, while the other men stayed in the other room. When you least expected, Bucky opened the door and came with you. That’s how it started, with him asking for the bottle of water, which was actually closer to him than to you. Bucky Barnes was trying to talk with you all the time and you secretly liked that. You took a breath, the scent of the man reached your nose and you couldn't say what perfume was using. He smelled really good.

"Bucky…" it was the first time you didn't call him James or Barnes. You barely knew what to say, so you did something unexpected.

You kissed him on the lips, the man grabbed your cheeks and his lips collided with strength and a wish that you both contained. Just as fast your lips impacted on him, you had to move faster to keep distance from Bucky and any suspicious movement. The door opened and the steps sounded closer, Sam, Lemar and John entered the room and you moved away faster than your legs could let you. Rapidly the men let you know what happened behind closed doors, you were kind of distracted remembering the soldier’s lips upon yours and the sensation of fullness. And when his gaze met your eyes, he looked radiant and charming. You saw he was trying so hard to not smile in front of all of them and in some way, somehow, it caused the same effect in you.

You were smiling when John told his group to leave. As you followed the new Captain America out of the room, you took one last look at Bucky Barnes and raised one of your eyebrows at him. You didn’t know if it was your worst decision to kiss him, but you didn’t regret it at all.

Oh, kissing Bucky was something you'd never regret.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fluff #bucky x female reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian x reader #marvel x reader #marvel one shot #marvel one shots #chris evans drabble #chris evans fluff #chris evans one shot #chris evans x female reader

[love-hatred-stuff]

Moody; Loki x avenger!reader

genre: tiny bit of fluff in the beginning, mostly angst

warning(s): open and not a happy ending, Loki being mean, Loki kind of begging, jealousyyyy, a bit of violence

notes: I lowkey feel bad for him T_T And sorry for mistakes, I didn't proofread much

Part. 2

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You've looked at him for the entire meeting and you still couldn't figure out what his problem was and why he was looking so grumpy today.

Something must have happened in Asgard, you thought. What else could it be? You knew Odin never really showed him affection and all that but the few times you were there with Loki and his brother Thor you made sure their father would stop calling out on Loki's misbehaviour. Because he knew what he'd done already and he experiences enough hatred every day because of it.

Ever since Thor's brother joined the army of the Avengers he was ought to deal with rude comments of some of the members because they just couldn't forgive him. You understood and respected that, but you interfered if it would get too heated. You simply didn't tolerate anything but professionalism in this team, that also includes being kind to one another.

The team knew you had your rules and if they chose to ignore them they also knew what the consequences were. But that was another subject.

Since the brothers came back from Asgard, Loki looked like he hadn't slept in three days, you wanted to know why but you hadn't had chance to ask him yet.

So after the meeting was done and the next mission was planned, you made your way to the still awfully good looking guy that was busy sulking and staring into space.

"Hey you big baby, what's up with that grumpy face you're making?" You tease him a bit and give him a playful smile, showing your usual flirty self. He looks up at you and rolls his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked, acting like he isn't used to you being by his side.

"That's what I'm asking you, darling. Come on, answer me." You challenge him, trying to get his mind on you.

"Nothing, I'm doing nothing. Asgard isn't such a pleasure as it used to be for me." He states, looking away again.

"I know Loki, I'm sorry, but here on earth it also can be beautiful. Besides, you have me, darling. I will fulfil you every wish, just tell me what I can do to make you smile." You offer him, patting his shoulder while giving him a comforting smile.

"Maybe, for once, get away from me."

You are too shocked in this moment to consider that he's not in the mood to talk right now because he had a bad few days. So immediately you take you hand off of him as if you've burned yourself.

"Yeah, well, I can do that. Continue sulking." Your words are monotone and he already begins to regret what he said.

Then you walk away, Loki wants to stop you but he doesn't, he let's you go to Bucky, who is as always happy to see you. Buck been getting on his nerves for a while now, he never stops touching you, and Loki knows you like it. The two of you have always been flirting, but now he notices how you smile at the super soldier and sit yourself on his lap, much to Buckys liking of course. That's beyond his taken line, you never sat on his lap.

Your back is facing Loki and he unconsciously begins to growl as he watches how Bucky places his hand just above your butt.

Thor comes in the room and instantly knows what's up. He approaches Loki, who now has his fists clenched, looking at you two.

"Oh man, what did you do now, huh? You better fix this before Buck gets the best of himself and it stops counting as flirting." He says and puffs out a laugh.

"Fuck it. It's her choice, not mine." Loki says under his breath, still not very much relaxed. He stands up and leaves the situation to itself, he doesn't want to watch how you and James end up together, making out in front of him or whatever.

Thor shrugs and goes to accompany you and your friend on the couch.

"What are you two doing here? You're making it even harder for Loki." With his name he easily got your attention.

But you laugh coldly. "Yeah, not my fault though. He doesn't want it easy, he's told me to get away from him." You explain, not very proudly.

"Oh you know how he is sometimes. He's moody today, once he remembers that you kindness lives in the same apartment as him, he'll be his usual self, you know him."

"Yes, I know him Thor, but he's never told me to leave him alone. As I told him I would fulfil him every wish. If that's what he wants, so be it." It would be a lie if you said that you weren't disappointed in your little fling.

But maybe that's all it had been, a fling between you two, nothing more. You were open for new things. You didn't like holding onto things that weren't meant to be.

"Hm okay, I'll let it go for now." Thor gives up, takes you hand in his and kisses it while looking up at you before leaving just as Loki did.

No one knew how you did it but everyone on the compound adores you. Every man treats you like the goddess you are but everyone knows you are a selfless person, you don't expect them to act this way with you, you appreciate it though. They are treating you how you treat them, very kind in fact. You are basically everyone's weakness, if something happened to you the Avengers wouldn't be the same. But you were good in what you were doing, excellent to be precise. You were raised to be kind and beautiful, the fighting talent came from itself as you been through literal hell as a kid. But that was the past now, you were a very important part of this team and you were thankful for every one of them aswell.

"Come on guys, the jet is ready, this mission is important." Steve said and everyone was getting up instantly.

"Isn't every mission important?" Natasha your favourite partner smirked and hit Steve against the arm before leaving the room to get to the jet.

"You, too, you know. Come on Y/n, get up from Buck's lap now." Rogers said in a commanding tone, getting a warning look of you and a blushing Soldier beneath you.

"Watch you mouth Steve. You know I don't like you talking to me like that. I am not here to let Captain America own my ass." You got up and helped Bucky, taking his hand and leaving the building eventually.

••• later on the mission in LA •••

"Look, I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off. I don't want you to leave me alone, you know that." Loki's desperate eyes glowing at you, trying to convince you to speak to him again. You scoff.

"Should've controlled yourself. Live with the consequences, God of Mischief." You turned your back again. But he grasped your arm before you could walk away to Bucky again.

"Please, Y/n. I can't stand you grinding on him anymore. Please stop doing that, it's torture." He pleases.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You act dumb.

"I know you do! Bucky has his hands all over you everytime I look in your direction!" He slightly raises his voice and earnes a gaze from you. Apologising immediately.

"Mhm and you always have your eyes all over me. I can do as I please, darling. I know he wouldn't say no to anything I say. Just as you, am I right?" He can't withdraw your eyes that sparkle up at him.

"Yes, yes. I'll do anything, but let me have you alone. Please!" He loses hope when he hears you scoffing a second time.

"It's not that easy." You say before closing the door in front of him.

After the things that you had to do for the mission were done for that day, you were put into hotel rooms. The whole time over Loki couldn't stop gaping at you and your movements. Not literally of course, but you noticed it anyway.

You weren't sure what you would do now, Bucky was good company too, not quite the same, but good in a different way. You weren't serious with either of them yet tho.

Bucky was manspreading on the couch in the tiny living room that the hotel had offered you.

"You know, I think he likes you. More than a friend." He states, a bit amused that he was having what Loki couldn't have in the moment.

"Oh please, Buck. As if I didn't know that. But just so you know, I'm not doing that, you all are my friends, and I love you, but I do nothing further than flirting. Not when I'm working. I won't kiss you and I won't kiss him."

James looked sad but he didn't expect you to fall for him. "What a shame. No I'm kidding, that's totally okay I respect that, promise." He gave you a heart warming smile.

He always felt safe around you, he didn't know how or why, but when you where by his side, he stopped being scared of Hydra and the whole mind control stuff. He was glad you were a part of the team.

"I should go now then. See you tomorrow, and sleep well, Y/n." He stood up and walked to the door.

"You too Buck, thank you for being such good company." You returned his smile.

••• the next morning •••

"You-!" Before someone could stop Loki, he was already onto James. Throwing punch after punch.

Thor and Steve tried to get those two separate, what was harder than it sounds. But after a minute they fortunately succeeded and Thor held Loki back by his arms who was still trying to break free and start it all over again.

"You son of a- How dare you touch Y/n!" Loki yelled at him.

That's when a big wave of confusion washed over you and everyone else.

"What are you talking about? I didn't touch her at all!" James defended himself.

"He's right Loki, he was in my room last evening because we wanted to talk about the mission. He just had an pretty good idea, but anyways. He didn't touch me, nor slept with me if that's what you think."

You were open with it because it wasn't a secret that you liked to flirt but you never went further with someone in the team, everybody knew that.

"But Romanoff told me he-" he stopped himself from finishing that sentence. Now he gulped, fuck, he was in for a long ride. He'd already upset you yesterday, and what are you thinking of him now that he attacked Bucky like that today.

"I- I'm sorry, Y/n. I didn't know it was like that!" He tried to save himself and looked at you, searching for any sign of forgiveness.

You sighed. "Shut up now, Laufeyson. I've had enough and I think the rest of the crew did too."

After Loki had realised the whole thing was a misunderstanding and he was under control again his brother let go of his arms. Thor felt sorry for his brother, he wanted to help him but not even the God of thunder could do that right now.

"Y/n's right, if it's okay with your brother, you two should go back to the compound, relax a bit." Steve offered.

If Loki's ego wouldn't be so big he would've let himself fall down on his knees and begged for your forgiveness. He didn't care what the others thought, he only even wanted your approval. You were always there for him, but he chose to be an asshole to you. He felt so sorry. But he didn't know how to make it up to you.

#loki laufeyson #avengers au #avengers #loki x reader #avenger reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader

[merrysithmas]

Obviously the Falcon show should've shown Bucky coming terms with the fact that he should write his OWN name in his book of victims.

It should have been made visually clear by the end of the series that he doesnt have to apologize for heinous crimes committed by Hydra hijacking his body and obliterating his bodily autonomy to incomprehensible levels, easentially using him like a criminal pump n dump. Every new assignment, new agonizing training, new puppetry, another violent rape of his body and mind.

Bucky is not at all even akin to say Tony Stark, who suffered immense guilt during the entire Infinity Saga regarding his former life as a weapons dealer. Tony's (valid) guilt resulted in a compulsive desire to protect the earth, ultimately ending in his voluntary death. Tony is time and again shown as a tortured hero despite his initial complacency in his morally bereft actions. Bucky gets no such luck- even though Bucky, in his former life, committed no such atrocities and in fact was likely one of the most heroic pre-superhero normals in the MCU.

Bucky was a well-liked, smart, athletic, happy boy who cast aside any manner of social expectation to throw in his lot, time, and energy, again and again, with chronically ill, disabled, social menace Steve Rogers. Bucky canonically nursed Steve's injuries, was his stalwart companion through all life's difficulties (his illnesses, his mother's death, Steve's psychological inferiority complex and mental anguish resulting from his social standing) and the Crash, and mostly importantly, Bucky did not want to go to war.

He was drafted (something that seemingly would have been key to bring up in Falcon re: his lifetime as an unwilling soldier). And, emotionally, Bucky ardently tried to dissuade Steve from joining the army, for fear he'd lose him. Despite not wanting to fight and being tortured, Bucky stayed in the military post-rescue from Azzano because he could not fathom leaving Steve. He planted his feet in a burning building shouting "No! not without you!" refusing to leave without Steve even after his rescue from months of torture. Til the end of the line, regardless of what happened to him.

For the next three entire films we see the frankly epic level of value Steve places on Bucky's devoted companionship. How desperately Steve valued Bucky's goodness and innocence (even above his own life, reputation, and safety).

Bucky doesn't have to cross out names he feels guilty about as if atoning for his own sins - and while the thought behind this narrative choice may have been to depict some semblance of retribution, this notion would have been much better expressed in another way. Such as: members of the public or others who were vicitmized in some horrible manner (domestic abuse, sexual abuse, scapegoats, other victims of Hydra etc) coming to Bucky instead to comfort him, welcoming him into a group designed to alieviate this solitary mental burden, or at least comiserate in some manner. Showing him he was not alone and who, exactly, he could be fighting for should he ever choose to fight again. The voiceless and disregarded, who only have Bucky who understands.

Also (though it seems to have engendered some faction of fandom vitriol), the removal of Bucky's arm during battle deserves consideration. This visual act was obviously narratively intended to show the unmatched prowess of the Dora Milaje and the justifiable premeditated cautiousness of Wakanda re: the generous rehabilitation of a dangerous mass weapon.

Though, it has the double-edged effect of showing how Bucky is still not an agent of his own bodily autonomy. His mental and physical freedom, his very ability to do his job and make his own choices therein, is still under the jurisdiction of someone else. His disability is his opposition's advantage (whether well-intentioned or not). Essentially, he is mistrusted. And it doesn't matter how much therapy he goes to, how much he atones for his "sins", his mind is still considered not to be fully and truly his. This is one of the most injurious of all things Bucky suffers - even those who rehabilitate him doubt the complete success of his healing. Therefore, his entire arc in the series is at best questionable simply with that alone.

His entire arc should clearly have been reframed to display his victimhood, and how the fact that he is mistrusted is also another burden and misfortune that he can work through and call others out for, instead of absorbing the guilt for that too.

Falcon does a poor job of showing how this "Bucky can't be trusted" mindset is highly injurious to his status as a victim, while mostly asserting it is a byproduct of his (alleged) villainy. It does not separate "alleged villainy" and "propensity for villainous actions as result of the abuse his suffered for 70 years". Instead of clarification on this for the viewers and Bucky himself we are, among other things, posed with the question - is the Winter Soldier still in Bucky?

Right there, you know the show was not intended to show much closure for the character, but rather wring-out, refresh, and even retroactively assert his alleged villainy over his victimhood in anticipation of perhaps his own solo series (where the Soldat is reactivated). Yet, we are also oddly simutaneously expected to accept that Bucky is "healing" somehow, although we never witness anything truly happen him, internally, to suggest this.

Bucky plays an almost angry motherly role to Sam at the start of the series, initially chastising him for not accepting responsibility. Bucky sees himself as the protector of Steve's legacy, and is disappointed in Sam's (later he learns, complicated) reluctance to wield the shield.

In the end, Bucky is approving of Sam and proud of his rise to the Cpt America mantle in that same manner - bookended with approval from a distance where he almost, again, stands off to the side as a proud mother. He seems to see himself as a mentor in Sam's journey towards self-actualization. Why is he so happy Sam has become the hero he always was inside?

His newfound friendship and respect for Sam as his own hero, of course. However, it is also his love of Steve which is the next obvious answer, his deep pride in who Steve was and what he accomplished, but this is inferred and never said - thus taking away again, from an oppotunity for Bucky's emotional growth and healing. The writers didn't even know where Steve was (or if Bucky knows his whereabouts) but they could have indicated something to that effect.

Once Sam has embraced Cap, the series ends. However, despite the jubilant setting of the finale, Bucky is still narrartively unmoored. We are left with the image of him lighthearted and hopeful, but without much substance towards its sustainability and so there is not much satisfaction in it despite the sweetness of its visual impact. But its depth? We are unsure. This is because Sam's ultimate advice to him, that he "serve" others rather than enact vengeance, strips away another truth about Bucky's situation.

That Bucky's desire for retribution and vengeance against those that abused and tormented him is valid and a real victim response. Bucky's perspective is seen as "wrong" instead of a well-documented step stone on the path to solid mental survivorship. Bucky could eventually want to serve -- but serve who?

Again, obviously the answer is: other victims like himself. But the show won't call him a victim at all, and thus Sam's advice feels hollow (serve... the vague and faceless Greater Good?) and Bucky's emotional security at the end of the show feels as if it lacks substance and permanance for the audience.

The payoff for Bucky's healing is almost nonexistent because no one will ever say why he was hurt in the first place (a victim).

Could go on and on about how this is because of Disney's terror of Bucky's perceived compromised masculinity (victimhood, captured, mentally damaged in WWII and present day), visual femininity (hair, slapped by men for insubordination, physically touched and moved against his will, soft spokeness, powerlessness in the narrarive), queer subtext (Steve, his origin as Arnold Roth Steve's gay jewish best friend, perceived jealousy of Peggy, intense affection for Steve), his juxtaposition to Steve and role in Steve's narrative, and their desire to wipe his slate clean with a new Masc Bucky.

Hint: it doesn't work.

#bucky barnes #loved samcap but the rest uhh haha uhhhhh mmm hmmm #yeah.. disney #stucky

[caffeineforbucky]

As Time Goes By...(Chapter three)

A/N: This one took a while to write. I've just been so busy doing absolutely nothing all while procrastinating, so special thanks to that. No, but I really hope you like this, fellow reader. If you like the series, let me know if you want to be tagged!

(Side note: I've been playing RE8, thirsting over lady D, and dying over and over...it's going great! It's part of the procrastination...)

Also, has anyone seen the Bridgerton musical tiktoks? I swear I've had the 'burn for you' song in my head all last month and if you've been living under a rock...here's the link:

https://youtu.be/EwY9_m5qeow

Word Count: 2,299

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

Warnings: I don't know....angst? As always, John Walker!?! AKA; Fake Cap. Umm...If I missed any let me know.

(A little PSA: I don't hate John Walker: or the actor. John is a well-written character. This is just strictly for the purpose of where my story is going. I'm more reiterating how Bucky treats him in the show. Thank you!!)

You groan, rolling from your left side to lay flatly on your back, arms spread out beside you. You inhale deeply, becoming aware of the moistened dirt and crushed wildflowers beneath you as they release their aromatics. Birds chirped around you, the busy sounds of traffic fading away while you lie still in the field, oxygen feeling heavy in your lungs.

"Y/N?!"

You barely heard the worrisome calls of Sam over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You lift your head, the view of icy mountains in the distance, blurry figures making their way towards you while you somehow managed to sit up. Your head was spinning, a sharp ache on the side of your thigh.

Your eyes flickered down, taking note of the small paring knife lodged in your thigh. You exhaled softly, nodding your head at the sight of it. "Okay," You grumble in agreement. With shaking hands, you wrap your fingers around the handle, bracing yourself by taking intervolved breaths before carefully pulling it from your thigh.

You worked fast, ignoring the crunch of rocks and dirt under the acknowledgeable footsteps of Sam and Bucky. Taking babochka, you cut off the end of your pant leg, wrapping the spandex around your wounded thigh before securing it with one of the holsters, tying the ends into a knot. You remain quiet, carefully pushing yourself up to your feet, transferring all of the weight to the opposite leg, eyes drifting up to meet the guys. "Are you guys okay?" You murmur, dusting off the clumps of dirt and dead leaves from your jacket.

"Are you?!" Sam exclaimed incredulously. "You're bleeding!" He points out, gesturing to the bright red staining the skin of your calf as it dripped down to your boot. The wrap might've held the wound shut, but that didn't mean blood wouldn't have soaked through.

"Oh, this?" You ask, glancing down at your leg, the wound throbbing in agony, but you did your best to avoid it. "I've had worse." That was true, from all those years fighting as an avenger. Getting shot, kicked, stabbed, beaten until you were purple, and undergoing mind control. This tiny stab was the least of your worries. It still hurt like hell, and you couldn't hide the discomfort in your features.

"Do you want a piggyback?" Bucky asks suddenly, slightly annoyed at your nonchalance and still concerned nonetheless. You weren't expecting it, the odd but kind offer, especially from the menace himself. Though you weren't one to pass up being carried. With a hesitant nod, you agree, watching Bucky crouch just a bit, allowing you to climb on his back.

The position was awkward for both of you. With his hands tightening on the back of your knees and your arms wrapped around his neck, neither of you could think straight. Yet, you were still thankful. The road to the airport was a long one, and you weren't sure if you could make it in your state. Bucky held you as if you weighed nothing, his super-soldier strength showing off while he carried you on his back, footsteps matching up with Sam. He didn't mind doing it, especially since he was the one who offered, and the proximity was just a bonus.

"Sorry about Redwing," Bucky muses, breaking the silence while the three of you sauntered down the empty road. There was nothing for miles, only empty plains of grass and dirt. Young trees scattered, lacking the greenery around them, evident of the cold weather in Munich.

"No, you're not," Sam remarks, narrowing his eyes to a pinprick at the winter soldier. "You've always hated Redwing."

"That doesn't mean I'm not sorry about it," Bucky grumbles, tightening his hold on you as he felt you slipping. You gasp at the sudden strength, clinging better to his shoulders as well. "How're you doin' up there?" He asks, jaw clenching from your touch.

"All things considering," You sigh, pushing aside the butterflies in your tummy at how close you were to Bucky. "I've been better. We've gotta find out where that super serum is coming from."

"Yeah," Sam chimed in, glancing at you. "-And how the hell after 80 years are there eight super-soldiers runnin' loose?"

Loud honks of a horn ring in your ears, tires treading on the gravel as an army jeep slows down beside the three of you. "So, that didn't go as planned, huh?" John chuckles, pushing the door open only for you to keep walking, paying no mind to the man in stars and stripes.

"Okay, keep going," John utters, signaling the driver to keep up as he pulls the door shut. "Look, at least we know what we're up against, huh? And I'm pretty sure it's one of the big three...so,"

"Aliens, androids, or wizards," Lemar comments as John nods his head in agreement.

"There's no such thing as wizards!" Bucky grunts, keeping his eyes forward, hands on the back of your knees.

"Fine, aliens or androids," John settles, sharing a look with his best friend beside him. "Look, it's 20 miles to the airport, and you guys need a ride. Gary, stop," He instructs, the wheels slowing down. John opens the door once again. "Get in," He sighs, motioning all of you inside the jeep as Bucky and Sam's footsteps came to a halt.

Bucky gently sets you down, taking note of the small whimpers falling from your lips. No matter how tough you appeared to be, you still carried so much vulnerability. "You okay?" He asks, eyes filled with so much concern it almost scared you. He hadn't looked at you like that in a while. "Do you want any help?"

With a soft nod, you oblige to Bucky's ask, needing more help than you anticipated. You didn't want to add any strain or force to your injury. You didn't even realize it happened, and that part of it was Sam's fault for swooping to grab you while you had a knife in hand, but you weren't going to start pointing fingers. You wrap your arm around Bucky's shoulder, using him as support while he boosts you up on the jeep after Sam climbs up first, helping you settle beside him.

"Woah!" John exclaims, almost rising to his feet at the sight of your thigh, your hands stained with blood. "Are you okay?"

With a curt nod, you adjust yourself to relieve some of the pressure while Bucky takes a seat on your left, leaving you to be right smack dab in the middle as he pulls the door shut. You blow out a breath, knowing damn well if it hadn't been for the mishap, you would've walked the damn 20 miles.

"Lemar, hand me the first aid kit," John instructs, pointing to the steel case beside his friend. You wanted to protest, but even you knew that the strap wasn't going to work. Mouthing a thank you, you take the case from Lemar's hand and clip it open.

"Okay, so we got eight super-soldiers on a bulk supply run," John continues, the jeep beginning to roll down the road. You hand the case to Sam, asking him to hold it while you searched for gauze, medical tape, and butterfly bandages, you were probably going to need stitches, but you'd worry about that later. "Why?" John asks, watching closely as you patched up your wound.

"They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during the blip," Sam answers, handing you another strip of tape. "Maybe they're just tryna help."

"They had a funny way of showing it," Bucky adds, his eyes trained on you, a hiss slipping through your lips as you roll down the remaining spandex. You sigh in relief, the ache becoming dull as you shut the case, giving it back to Lemar.

"Better?" John asks, earning a single nod as a response. "I don't think we've properly met. John Walker," he smiles, offering a shake of his hand, but you didn't move, only staring at the outstretched palm in front of you. "Does she talk?" John mumbles suddenly, looking to Sam or Bucky for a reply.

Your eyes cast down, gaze hardening at the sight of the shield in his grasp. Flashes of Steve running through your mind, the many times he'd catch you trying to throw it like he would. Steve Rogers meant a lot to you, having joined him in not signing the Sokovian accords, being an outlaw, and helping to clear Bucky's name with Sam. So, seeing a man who wasn't Steve hold the shield awoke something in you. Something unkind and hateful.

"When she wants to," You claim, John squirms in his seat, sensing the tension as your eyes flicker to his. "And frankly has no desire to speak to you."

"You don't even know me," John defends, glancing at Bucky, a sly smirk on his lips, and Sam, who rendered quiet, his eyes looking elsewhere. John sets his attention back on you, lips razor thin.

You scoff, shaking your head softly as you fold your arms over your chest. "Jonathon F. Walker," You begin, leaning back in your seat, your eyes never leaving his. "Former Captain of the U.S Army's 75th Rangers Regiment. Graduated at the top of your class from the United States Military and the first person in American history to receive three medals of honor, ran RS-one missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue."

John's tongue darts between his lips, a frown spreading throughout his forehead at the information you were giving him. Either you did research on him or, you just read his file, which you had done both. You were not one to go into a mission without potentially knowing who you were up against. It was better to be safe than sorry.

"So you saw the news?" John chuckles, the frown falling from his features while he shrugs. "Big deal, so did the entire world."

"Custer's Grove High school alumni."

John's smile falters.

"There you met, Lemar Hoskins and your current wife," You tilt your head in curiosity. "Olivia, right? Or am I getting it wrong?"

Clearing his throat softly, John broke eye contact with you. So you did know him, and you probably knew more than you led on. "Do they always just stare like that?" He gestures between you and Bucky, who had displayed the same distaste for him.

Sam glances beside him, observing the matched body language you shared with Bucky, its no wonder Bucky had taken a liking to you, even if he'd never admit it. "You get used to it," Sam smirks, turning his head back to Walker.

"Okay..." John drags, eyes flickering to the more sensible one of the trio, and that was Sam. "Look, that serum doesn't have the greatest track record, no offense," He waves his hand, dismissing the insult directed towards the only super-soldier in the car.

"We need to figure out where they're going. How'd you track 'em here?" Sam asks, "The flag smashers."

"Uh," Lemar murmurs, scratching the back of his head. "We didn't track them. We tracked you through Redwing."

"You hacked my tech!?" Sam gripes, straightening out his back as he sat up.

"Sorry," John laughs, "It's not exactly hacking. It's government property...kind of the government. Alright, you know things have gotten kind of..."

"Chaotic," Lemar adds.

"Yeah," John nods in agreement. "The GRC, they're doing their best to get things up and running smoothly post blip. If you guys teamed up with us-"

"No." Bucky interrupts. He couldn't let Walker finish that sentence.

"I've got mad respect for all of you," Lemar praises, looking between the trio before him. "But you were getting your asses kicked 'til we showed up."

"And who are you?" Bucky bemuses, cocking a brow at the man next to John.

"Lemar Hoskins," You mention, "I could've sworn we've been through this." You shake your head at the old man, for being 106, he couldn't hear a thing.

"I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear," Sam shrugs, "I'm gonna need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins."

"I'm Battlestar, John's partner."

"Battlestar?" Bucky repeats, narrowing his eyes at Lemar as he nods, confirming his alias. "Stop the car!" Bucky shouts suddenly, brakes screeching as the wheels come to a stop in the middle of the road. Bucky pulls open the handle, ducking, as to not rail his head on the bar-frame above him before hopping off the jeep.

"Look, I get it, okay?" John sighs, calling after Bucky. "I get the attitude, I do. You didn't think the shield was gonna end up here. I get it, Bucky. And I'm not trying to be Steve!"

"Good," You interject, rendering John to settle his eyes on you. "Because you will never be. And just because you're the one wielding it..." You grab the bar above your head, using it to pull yourself up. "It doesn't make you Captain America." And with that, you carefully jump off the jeep, following after the heated super-soldier.

Sighing in frustration, he rips his eyes away from your retreating figures. "I'm not trying to replace him either. I'm just trying to be the best Captain America I can be." He explains to Sam, hoping the falcon would cut him some slack. "-And it'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingman on my side."

Sam's eyes widen in surprise, his tongue darting between his lips. "It's always that last line," He scoffs, shaking his head as he jumped off the car, following you and Bucky.

John's lips thin out, face scrunching in a scowl. "Let's go," He instructs. The sound of the jeep leaving making its way to your ears.

#james buchanan bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #james barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnesxreader #bucky x y/n #james barnes fanfiction #james barnes x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws x reader #tfatws #samuel wilson #sam wilson #john walker #angst #anger #bucky x female reader #bucky angst #tfatws fanfiction #anti john walker

[syllvane]

five years- natasha romanoff x reader

a/n: so this is another rewrite of one of my older 2019 pieces! it is the same plot points but almost completely rewritten. i hope you guys like it <3

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Your last words to Natasha are a lie.

She lets them wash over her as she holds your disintegrating body, waiting for the snap to take her as well, waiting for her grief to disappear.

It doesn’t, and she is still sitting down when Steve finds her, covered in your dust.

She spends most of her time in the Avengers Compound after the Blip, unable to face the life that she once had with you in your shared apartment, unable to accept that you are truly gone.

If she never opened the door to the apartment where the two of you had built a home together then you would never not be there waiting for her.

There was some part of you, in her mind, that still lived behind that door, some part of you that was twirling around the kitchen and leaning over to press a kiss to her lips.

Some part of you that wasn’t gone.

She returned to the apartment one night, after their failed mission to the Garden, without really thinking.

She doesn’t think of how cold or dark the apartment will be, how a thick layer of dust would cover all of the furniture.

She just thinks of you.

The apartment is both exactly as Natasha remembers it and completely different at the same time.

No lights were on and a thick layer of dust seemed to cover everything in the apartment.

Natasha collapsed against the door, feeling suffocated by the emptiness of the place she had once called her home.

For the first time since the Blip happened, she allowed herself to weep.

Yelena was gone. Alexei and Melina were gone. You… you were gone.

She had been trained her whole life to live without love, but she had never been trained to lose it.

And maybe that was the cruelest thing that you had done- you had broken down her walls and showed her that she didn’t have to live that way. You had told her that you loved her and that you would never let her go and then you had disappeared.

She wanted desperately to go back to the life she had before you, better not to love at all than to constantly feel this loss, but she couldn’t go back.

Her feelings for you weren’t something that she could surgically remove, but something nestled safely into her bones and muscles, something hidden in her heart- something that she carried safely with her. Something that she would never lose, no matter how much time passed.

She would love you if they found a way to bring you back and she would love you if she never saw you again.

She would carry her love for you to a distant planet and carry it as she fell all the way down.

You woke up in a forest and although your surroundings didn’t look that different, things felt like they had changed.

The light was different than it had been when you had last closed your eyes and you got the most disconcerting sense that some time had passed- maybe you had fallen asleep.

“Nat?” You called out and heard several other voices from your friends doing the same, calling for others.

A man wearing a cape appeared in front of you out of an orange portal and you moved back, your eyes narrowed towards him.

He glanced at you.

“The fight’s not over,” He said simply, offering you a hand and you stood up, the rest of your friends slowly grouping around.

“What happened?” Sam asked, crossing his arms.

The guy with the cape shook his head.

“There’s no time to explain. There will be, after, but not now.”

“How long were we gone for?” Bucky asked, better understanding the feeling of time distortion than most.

The guy in the cloak didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds.

“Five years,” He said solemnly, looking at everyone’s faces before opening up several portals. “We have to move, now.”

Five years- it had been five years since Natasha had seen you, what must’ve felt like a lifetime to her.

It had felt like barely a minute since you had seen her, but you didn’t miss her any less.

You ran through one of the portals that the cloaked guy had opened, eager to join the fight but more than that, eager to see Natasha again. 

You searched around for her as much as you could during the battle, although you wouldn’t be surprised if you had to wait until after to see her again, considering how chaotic everything had become.

And after all, what would couple more minutes be compared to the five years she had waited?

In what felt like minutes later, Thanos’ army began turning into dust and everyone seemed to stop, training their eyes on a weakened Tony and the infinity stones in his armor.

And a nagging feeling told you that that was it for Tony.

That there would be no maneuvering his way out of this one and although you wanted to rush over to your friend, you didn’t.

He needed to say goodbye to Peter and Pepper and Rhodey more than he needed to say goodbye to you.

And so, incredibly distraught, you searched for Natasha, walking over towards Clint first- if anyone knew where she was, it’d be him.

“Hey, Clint,” You grimaced and when he looked at you, you couldn’t place what expression was on his face.

Something was wrong. “Where is she?

“I’m so sorry,” He said before looking at the ground, unable to face you.

His words didn’t hit you.

“Barton, where is she?” You asked him again and he closed his eyes and for a moment, you thought you saw tears roll down his face.

But that was impossible, right?

Because that would mean Nat-

“Clint,” You said dangerously, your own tears forming. “Tell me where she is.”

“On… on Vormir, she… you have to understand that I tried. I tried so hard to throw myself off of that cliff. But she…”

“No.”

“She…”

Without thinking, you shoved him hard and he fell to the ground, not fighting back.

As you knocked him onto the ground, he wept.

“You killed her. You killed her!” You screamed and you felt yourself moving towards him.

Before you could reach him, a strong arm grabbed your shoulder, holding you back and turning you around, wrapping you in a hug.

You sobbed violently in Steve’s arms, all of the fight leaving your body.

“She’s dead,” You sobbed, your legs collapsing under you. “She’s dead.”

He didn’t say anything, knowing that there was nothing to be said. That there was nothing that could ease the anguish you were going through, knowing that there would be no snapping a finger and bringing her back.

She was well and truly gone, beyond your reach.

Clint Barton wasn’t, however, and there was going to be hell to pay.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x you #marvel #mcu #marvel imagine #black widow x reader #marvel imagines #marvel x reader #mcu imagine #marvel x you #mcu x reader #clint barton #the avengers x reader

[lilacprincessofrecovery]

A Stark Halloween Party // Tony Stark x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1788 Warning: Light insecurity

There's this one girl. She wasn't a girl. She was a woman. She was bigger than other women. She was different. She loved herself. That's what drew big time tech billionare Tony Stark to her. He liked that she was confident. She was sometimes sarcastic under her breath when she thought no one could hear her. Tony realized that she was very similar to him. Tony didn't treat her like he treated Pepper. Pepper had actually decided to go to a law firm instead of working with Tony.

He knew y/n would be slower than Pepper in heels. He would only order her to stand beside him and write his work notes while he was in his lab. She would make him laugh. That wasn't easy for him since the New York incident. He loved to see her every day at 10am. Being confident was a great thing to be around Tony Stark.

Another thing about him, Tony always loved parties. No disaster would get him down when it came to a celebration or charity. Halloween was a big shen-dig for him. He was a man who liked costumes, too. He made everyone's costumes better yet he had someone else make the costumes; not that he didn't have an idea of the costumes but he couldn't sew. He decided after the computer generated the costumes to go and switch them up himself and give everyone Tony Stark appointed costumes.

He had called everyone in the compound to the main conference room. Everyone was surprised that Tony called everyone since there was nothing on the news or on the tv monitors hanging around the place, lately. He explained that he wanted to throw a Halloween bash. He started giving everyone their costumes and that their outfits will be sent to them when they get made. It was 2 weeks until Halloween. He could do it. He even thought about making them dress up as each other but after he chuckled about that he decided to go with traditional costumes.

Tony named off announcing the costumes explaining he used a generator so they won't guess he chose legitimately to give him and y/n similar matching costumes. or get annoyed if they didn't like the costumes he picked.

Steve. Sailor.

Natasha. Angel.

Y/n. Princess.

Clint. Ghost Face.

Thor. Pro Wrestler.

Peter Parker. Vampire.

Sam. Police Officer.

Scott. Devil.

Rhodey. Storm Trooper.

Wanda. Jessica Rabbit. (Mostly because of the hair)

Vision. Michael Myers.

Bucky. Werewolf.

Happy. Superman.

Loki. Plague Doctor.

and himself. Prince Charming.

It was a bit harder than he thought to give them all costumes. They all practically live in costumes. He chose the most ironic costumes he could. He however made sure he and y/N were matching. He wouldn't tell he didn't generate the costumes. Only FRIDAY knows.

Once everyone got their costumes, they're of course was arguements of why they got the costume they got. Tony rolled his eyes. "Deal with it." He smiled at y/N and went and left to go to his office. He ordered a famous designer to create the costumes except the princess one. He wanted to design that one himself.

"I can't believe I'm even coming to this party," Loki complained.

"Your face will be covered, Brother," Thor responded.

Loki groaned.

"I am stronger than any wrestler," Thor thinks. "I do not trust technology."

Steve looked at Natasha. "I considered joining the marines. I preferred to be an army soldier though."

Natasha was in shock and crossed her arms. "I am no angel. I would rather be a ninja."

Steve chuckles, "Tony's not going to change his mind."

Natasha rolled her eyes, "I blame the computer more than him."

Wanda looked to Steve and Natasha, "My costume is the most sexist outfit..."

Vision looks at her with a soft smile, "I would love to see you in that costume."

Wanda then forgets all her worries about being so sexy and caresses his cheek, "You ok with your costume babe?"

Vision nods, "I will wear whatever is given. I haven't ever celebrated Halloween before."

Wanda smiles, "Ok."

Vision tilts his head, "Who is Michael Myers?"

Wanda calmly describes the psycho to him.

Vision thinks, "I see..." He said that a lot.

Scott looks to Clint, "I'm just glad to be a part of this team."

Clint nodded, "I was going to take my kids trick-or-treating this year..."

Scott laughed, "Well maybe it won't be on actual Halloween."

Clint nodded, "Hope so." He wasn't too fond of his costume. The devil? Really? He disapproved.

Natasha looked at Clint, "Really? you think you got it bad? I've never worn a dress before. A white one at that."

"Computers aren't against you," Happy interrupted Nat and Clint.

Happy liked the idea of being Superman. Finally, he is a superhero like everyone else around him.

Happy looked at Peter who was over excited for being invited to his first Avenger/Tony/"Adult" party. "Are you alright kid?"

Peter nods and flops down on the couch. "Oh yeah. I am excited! I also love that Tony is making our costumes. He always makes me great costumes. You think I can invite MJ? and/or Ned? Do you think Mr. Stark would mind?"

Happy shrugged, "I don't think he would mind."

Bucky was quiet standing in a corner not caring either which way. but trying to think of what a werewolf costume would look like.

Rhodey thought a storm trooper would be cool. Star Wars is a classic afterall.

Sam was neutral about his outfit. He didn't care one way or another about being a police officer. He was trying to imagine himself in it. He could be a police officer. He loved helping people and saving the day. He felt like a police officer anyway. Just with the metal wings.

y/N was being quiet. She was worried now that her costume wouldn't fit once Tony gives it to her. Talk about embarassing. She hurriedly rushed up to her room to avoid anyone else. She wasn't an insecure person since middle school. She was surprised her confidence was currently faltering.

"Looks like the computer thinks you and I should match," She bumps into Tony.

"Tony... I didn't see you... sorry," y/n told him.

"Are you alright?" Tony arched his brow.

"I was wondering if... maybe I could pick my own costume. I mean I'll still be a princess... I just..."

"What are you afraid of... you don't want to match with me?"

"Tony... I'm not feeling well. I am going to my room," She left.

"Hmm... hey... y/N, wait!" Tony didn't understand why she wasn't happy or glad they matched.

She looked in the mirror and immediately went to bed after sighing loudly. She needed to get her mind off of the party. She wasn't even happy that she was even invited to one of the biggest shen-digs of the year.

She was very quiet during her work the following days. Tony was concerned. He had FRIDAY keep an eye on her for him. She was just anxious and didn't try to keep up with him anymore. She wasn't even wearing heels anymore.

The costumes came in from the designer. Tony already had everyone's measurements so he had sent them out. He didn't have y/n's so he tried scientifically to decide the size of her costume. She would never tell him or let him near her with a measuring tape. She would rather disappear than have ANY of the Avenger's Family know her size, especially Tony. She had a crush on her boss. Who wouldn't? He was Tony Freaking Stark. Tall, dark, handsome, rich, smart, and a superhero.

Everyone is glad how their costumes turned out. They fit just right and were amazing. Tony definitely appreciated the styles and the designs worth every penny. Everyone was happy with their costumes.

The night of the party y/n didn't come to the party hall. He went to her room and knocked on the door. She was crying on the edge of her bed with the dress in her lap, makeup running down her cheeks. "Why aren't you dressed?"

"I can't fit it."

"W... did you try it on?" She shrugs then sighs and shakes her head. "No..."

Tony just stared at her. "O....k. Come on I'll help you. If I have to wear poofy sleeves you have to wear the poofy dress."

She blushed nodding and stood up and he helped her dress into her costume, sucking in her stomach as much as she could so he doesn't see her 'girth'.

As a Prince and Princess, Tony and the reader smiling

"You look sexy in that costume," Tony smiled softly at her.

She blushed deep, "You're drunk and that's inappropriate Mr. Stark..."

"Call me Tony. Please... You've been here for 6 months... You're always with me. You know me better than anyone... You have pretty hair, y/n... and such soft, delicate figure... You are so beautiful. Now will you come downstairs and be with me at the party?"

She giggled, "We are at the party."

He smiled, "I made sure we matched."

"What...really?"

He nodded, "I wanted to be with you. I chose all the costumes. The generator was just me. Don't tell." He laughed. "You are my date on purpose."

y/N's eyes widened, "You wanted me to look like a giant marshmallow?"

Tony looked offended, "I wanted you to be mine."

"Wait... like me... and you?"

"Me and you..."

"What why? I'm not as hot as the other women you..."

"NEVER say you are less than anyone else. Where's the y/N I am used to that doesn't care what others think about how she looks? and Especially bimbos from my past. They don't matter. It's the past. This is the future." He takes her hand and puts a palm against her palm and smiles down at her.

" You know... you are such a catch. I'm attracted to you and all your beauty and snark. Yeah, I notice you. You have an old timey type of beauty like a princess... and I am your Prince. Well, I would call myself a King. You do everything for me. You know me better than anyone has ever..."

"He is so egotistical," Bucky said.

Tony rolled his eyes. "She is a Queen. My queen; not a princess."

Steve smiled soft. "She is sweet as can be. Princess was a perfect outfit for her. She better watch out for him. He will corrupt her." He laughs.

y/n grinned wide at Tony insecurities all gone and leans up and kisses him. "My Tony?"

"My y/N..." Tony kisses back passionately.

Everyone claps.

#avengers #tony stark #plus size reader #tony stark x reader #avengers halloween #halloween #stark #marvel

[fandom-rants]

God, okay, this one's quite a thought but bear with me on this because it's something that drives me WILD.

So even to this day, we Americans are constantly told about horrible things in the world and how they are only settled by Us, The Great US of A, and our Military Might. To the point where we're told the usual shtick of how, if we want peace, we need to constantly invest in weaponry.

And, like, practically everyone I'm friends with recognizes the garbage in that, but I also know that when we were younger, we went WAY too far in the other direction and said there shouldn't be ANY weapons and we should be pacifists and a whole bunch of stupid garbage like 'all guns should be banned' and 'there should never be war.' We threw ourselves hard into the other extremist corner because we couldn't endure thinking we had even a single ounce of thought in common with people who believed more guns were the clear answer.

And I still see it now, all over social media, because kids are kids and haven't yet gotten to the point where they can say something like, 'guns are necessary, but not to this degree' or 'soft politics should come first and hard politics way, way below that.' So we get idiots on the Internet constantly decrying any weaponry of any kind in any way for any reason.

So this takes me to Tony Stark.

These same kids are watching shows with war and violence, and they are cheering. They are applauding Steve Rogers going on an unsanctioned mission and beating up and killing Hydra officers. They cheer for Bucky Barnes as he stands beside the newly made Captain America. They consider the Howling Commandoes heroes.

And that's because they are! They are heroes, and they are killers, and it was necessary.

Howard Stark, an arms dealer, created Steve Rogers' shield and everyone loves it. Wanda Maximoff explodes Ultron's bodies and people love it. Hulk beats a Chitauri to death and people love it. Carol Danvers is a member of the Air Force and also a girlboss that everyone, hey, loves.

Tony Stark, however, is an arms dealer, and has made weapons, and that makes him unforgivable, because he helped our country win wars against other human beings, and that's Wrong.

Even though that's what Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes did. Even though that's what Rhodes did. Even though that's what Thor did. Even though that's what Valkyrie did. Even though that's what Carol Danvers wanted to do. Even though Bruce Banner was creating something for the army, too. Even though Wanda and Pietro joined Hydra; even though, as Wanda Maximoff stated in WandaVision, she 'believed in Hydra's cause.'

The cognitive dissonance necessary for it makes so little sense until you match it to how these kids are looking at real life. They see war and violence propagated on their screens, listen to Trump and his lackeys and Fox News talking about starting up another war or leaving people to rot, and for some reason (likely because Tony was literally used as a figurehead for the military in his first part of his first movie and has spoken with judges and leaders of the US), they look at Stark as a character who can be neatly fitted into their real life idea of Evil Corporations and Corrupt Politicians.

This is why, despite him doing the same as his father and T'Challa's people, they liken Tony to Klaw instead. This is why they erase from their minds the part of Whiplash's story that included how Whiplash's parents were disgraced by Howard Stark because they'd been trying to sell on the black market. This is why they erase Stane's existence entirely. This is why they attribute the Accords to Tony Stark despite his not being a politician and having literally nothing to do with the creation of the thing.

These kids are trapped in this simplistic mindset of good and evil, one that they've created to try to deal with the horrors of the real world around them, and they are unable to look deeper or think more critically because they are terrified of anything they could think or say that might make them sound like those they despise.

Sometimes when I think of this, I empathize with them. I used to be the same way. But I also have to listen to them talk and influence others, and then I just want to throttle them. No, despite what you think, you kids do not know what you're talking about. You still have far too much you need to learn. And Tony Stark is not evil or corrupt. You're conflating your real life fears onto the wrong fictional character.

#fandom rant #mcu rant #marvel rant #avengers rant #random... sociology meta??? i guess??? #anti anti tony stark #mod 1 #i mean it's so obvious what's happening with these kids sometimes #but that doesn't make it any less annoying af to have to listen to #i get it you saw weapons being built and immediately made connections to our lives #but uh. you somehow missed literally the rest of the movies #so shush

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: What-If Wednesday

Time for another installment of @cap-ironman rec week! Today’s theme: AU’s.

I know AU’s in different settings are half the reason most people read fanfics, but they’re not really my thing on the whole. AU’s where different choices are made, or different events transpire? Absolutely. Coffee shops? Not my cup of... you know.

So, here’s my AU recommendations for mostly “turn left” scenarios. This time with an under-the-cut break so I don’t take over everyone’s timelines (sorry about that last post). Also with some summaries truncated for length.

Alone Like This

Author: GotTheSilver

Word Count: 7,452

Summary: Steve, post waking up, runs away from SHIELD, and Tony's the one who tracks him down.

Why You Should Read It:

First off, GotTheSilver’s been consistently and regularly putting out solid Stony since 2012 and not only are they not stopping, they’re only getting better. This writer doesn’t get nearly the fanfare I’d expect in Stony circles for someone who puts out this much good stuff, and here’s hoping this post can be a part of changing that.

While I am always a sucker for enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, there’s something to be said for stories where Steve and Tony hit it off right away. And watching these two very different people look at each other and see the same sense of being lost, then finding each other again is... excuse me, there’s something in my eye, ignore me.

Second Chance Lives

Author: raeldaza

Word Count: 43,872

Summary: Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

Why You Should Read It:

This writer doesn’t write a lot for the MCU but when they do, dang.

“Tony is the one helping Steve acclimate to the new century before Avengers 2012″ is a whole genre of Stony fanfics that scratch an itch I didn’t even know I had before I started reading fanfiction, and this is one of the best ones out there. It’s got it all - Steve poorly coping with his PTSD, Tony poorly coping with his immanent mortality, some breathtakingly poor communication between the two most emotionally stunted men in the MCU, and a cat named Roomba. What’s not to love?

Should You Choose to Accept It

Author: elwenyere (look, you’re gonna be seeing a lot of them this week, sorry-not-sorry)

Word Count: 27,106

Summary: After a terrorist attack and a field operation gone wrong, the Avengers realize that Nick Fury's secrets are just the start of a much bigger mystery. Steve and Tony try to keep some things from each other as well, but that can't possibly affect the mission — right? Mission Fic + Getting Together (or Mission: Getting Together) that mashes up elements from Iron Man 3, CA: Winter Soldier, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season one, and Mission Impossible 3.

Why You Should Read It:

You can see my post yesterday for singing El’s praises, but what I really liked about this fic was how how damn creative it is. The CAWS/IM3/AOS mashup is everything I wished the actual MCU gave us and more, with well-developed characters and an exciting story to put them in. And because it’s El, you know the banter’s gonna be on point, the way the characters care for each other is gonna be emotionally constipated but touching, and the pacing’s gonna be exciting enough to draw you in and keep you there. Also, this fic doesn’t have nearly enough kudos so please go read it and fix that or I’m gonna have to try to hack AO3 and that’ll just be embarrassing for all parties involved.

What Happens In Vegas

Author: sabremc

Word Count: 161,951

Summary: “What the hell, Tony?” Rhodey demanded brusquely.  Tony winced and drew the phone away from his ear.  “You’ve got cops and Feds all over the hotel.  I’m watching you perp walk out of the police station on repeat on CNN.  They’re saying you tried to bribe Stern?  Fox News has you selling weapons on the black market, and God that picture they’re using is the one from Bali in ’09.   You look like shit.  They wheeled Stern out and put him in an ambulance, by the way.  Got some paparazzi swearing you decked the guy.  Now they’ve got ‘copters following it like he’s OJ.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Sourpatch, I’ve got it covered.   Uh, though, I should probably tell you that, purely in the interests of national security and the greater good, I kind of had to fake marry that stripper-gram  you sent.  Thanks for that, by the way,” Tony added quickly.

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re deep enough into Stony to see posts like this on Tumblr, you probably know sabre’s what we in the business call a “big name author.” They’re prolific, they’re popular, and most importantly, they write words good (technical term). Seriously, sabre just keeps cranking out high quality stuff over and over again, raising the bar for the rest of us like a jerk (not really. I’m not bitter they write stuff so good I wish I’d thought of it first. Not at all.)

I never read stripper!Steve or stripper!Tony as a rule, but this came so widely recommended that I broke that rule and boy am I glad that I did. This is also the only fic on this list that’s a true-AU, with Steve being a non-powered vet from Afghanistan who left his army career to help Bucky and is stripping in Vegas to raise money for a prosthetic arm. He’s booked to do a private show for Tony, shenanigans ensue, and now they’re fake-married. This fic’s got some top-of-the-line banter and character development, but I particularly love it for its rich setting. Sabre paints a Vegas not just with strip clubs and blackjack tables, but KISS-themed minigolf, romantic dinners on the Eiffel tower, gaudy hotel lobbies, and making out on giant ferris wheels. It’s such a richly developed playground for the characters to play on, and through it, Steve manages to find a life for himself he’d given up on, and Tony finds multiple ways to show his kindness and depth of feeling for Steve. I know the word count’s long for this one but trust me, you’ve gotta read this fic.

Wait & Sea

Author: Lenalena

Word Count: 53,244

Summary: In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Why You Should Read It:

This one’s old and popular enough to be considered one of the “classic” Stony fics, and for good reason. Lenalena doesn’t write too often and not as much as they used to, but the fics they have up there are an absolute delight.

This is another fic that I skipped a bunch of times for being outside my comfort zone, but when I finally read it I saw why everyone’s so wild about it. In this story, Steve’s defrosted a bit earlier and not revealed as Captain America. He and Tony are sent undercover to sniff out Hydra shenanigans on a cruise and, because it’s fanfiction, they’ve got to pretend to be a married couple while onboard. There’s tons to love about this fic, but the things that bring me back to reading it over and over is first, Tony’s kindness and the way he’s attuned to Steve’s feelings, which... God, just inject “kind, observant Tony” straight into my veins, please and thank you. This is also another really rich setting for a story, and Lena knows how to fold the the hokeyness of the cruise into the seriousness of the mission and the depth of feelings Steve and Tony are finding for each other in a really beautiful, layered way. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s steamy, it’s gripping... why are you still reading this here? Go check it out for yourself!

Ashes to Ashes

Author: dirigibleplumbing

Word Count: 51,582

Summary: After regrouping following some surprise time travel, the world's heroes and sorcerers come up with a plan to protect the Mind and Time Stones by taking them into space in opposite directions. The result involves a lot more time loops than Steve would like, but at least they're getting a second chance to stop Thanos. (As well as a third, and a fourth...) And if Steve takes the opportunity to try to reconcile with Tony, too—well, they have the time, and Steve's going to make the most of it.

Why You Should Read It:

Dirigibleplumbing’s another name in Stony fanfics that does not get nearly as much fanfare as they deserve. They’re consistently a really creative voice in Stony fanfics and I always look forward to their stories showing me something new. Go read all their fics, I need more people to geek out with me over them.

I tend to limit myself on Steve-and-Tony-mend-things-after-Civil-War fics not because they’re not good, but because they’re so heavy, and also the Sokovia Accords have five hundred layers of crap in them that no good fic could possibly hash out well. This one, though? When you add in the Infinity War/End Game fixit? Poetry. Art. Music to my ears. DP wrote a really engaging, twisty story where it’s hard to predict what’s coming next, in spite of it literally being a pseudo-Groundhog day scenario. The characterizations are great, the story is engaging, and the feelings are big and sad and eventually happy. Go read it, you’ll love it.

I have tons of other recs for this category but this seems like a good place to stop for today. Tomorrow’s Alternative Media Thursday, and I’ve got some real gems I’ve been saving for that day (aaaaand possibly a self-rec or two ;)

#capimrecweek #tony stark #Steve Rogers #stony #fanfiction #MCU #ficrec

[mymoonagedaydream]

ps, idk what the biker/college bucky story will include but i can throw out the idea of doing the modern day army veteran Bucky as a one shot or something? or whatever you don't include in the series lol

Recluse

Summary: You barely even expected to get a conversation out of Steve’s reclusive roommate, never mind anything more than that.

Pairing: Modern Veteran!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Language, smut references, references to military service

Author’s Note: You bet your butt I can do that for you anon. This one really got out of hand idk what happened man I couldn’t stop.

---

You’d been living with your friend Sharon for a couple of years now, and it was still going pretty well.

Your ground-floor apartment was very compact, but she was so considerate and easy to get on with, you barely even noticed the lack of space. She cooked for you occasionally, always paid rent on time, even did your laundry without being asked.

You just couldn’t help thinking that things were much more fun when you were both single.

Nothing much had changed in your life, you were still a lone wolf, but she’d been with Steve for almost six months now and you barely ever saw her anymore. 

Most nights you were just left to your own devices, clattering around the apartment like some sad old spinster.

It got to the point where, one Friday when you got home from work, you heard Steve and Sharon talking in the kitchen and got excited at the prospect of just having some company for the evening.

Sharon almost jumped on you as soon as you walked in. ‘Y/n! Are you free tonight?’

‘Yeah, totally, completely. You guys sticking around?’

‘You think he’d ever agree to that?.’

‘We were actually thinking of going out for some drinks. You in?’ You contemplated for a second, not wanting to come across too eager, then gave her an enthusiastic nod.

As she grinned back at you, you saw an idea dawn on her. ‘Steve, you should totally bring Bucky.’

Sharon frowned in resignation. You had no idea who they were talking about, their conversation going completely over your head.

Steve went home to change, leaving you and Sharon with a couple hours to get ready before heading out, so you thought you might as well try to probe a little deeper.

‘Who’s Bucky?’ You asked casually, sitting on her bed, watching her hold dress after dress up to herself in the mirror.  

‘Steve’s roommate.’

‘I didn’t know Steve had a roommate?’

‘I’d be more surprised if you did.’ She turned towards you. ‘In six months I’ve only met him twice.’

Your eyebrows darted up. She spent so much time at Steve’s place, that made no sense at all. 

‘What? Why?’

‘I’m pretty sure he makes a point to avoid people generally.’ She flopped herself down next to you on the bed, her tone lowering to one of deep sincerity. ‘He was in the army with Steve. Apparently he just really struggled to adapt when they got back, collapsed in on himself for a while. I think he’s a mechanic now but Steve is still the only person he really speaks to.’

‘Shit, that’s awful.’

She gave a grim nod and shrugged slightly, before standing back up and starting to get changed. 

You figured you should do the same, shuffling back to your room and finally taking off your work clothes, relieved at the thought of getting out of the apartment for the evening.

Just as you were about to leave, Sharon’s phone pinged.

‘Holy shit.’

‘What?’ You’d never seen her look so shocked. She put her index finger up at you while quickly typing something back. ‘You’re killing me here Sharon, what the hell is going on?’

‘Bucky’s coming.’

---

You managed to find a cramped table in the back of the bar. Sharon made you wait for Steve to arrive before ordering drinks, because for some reason he always insisted on buying the first round.

About ten minutes after you arrived, she glanced over to the door, grinned and waved her hand above her head. Following her gaze, you saw Steve pushing through the crowd, followed closely by a statuesque, tower of a man.

Studying him intently as he approached, you noticed how visibly uncomfortable he was, his jaw clenched tight and his hands folded into slowly whitening fists. You let your eyes dance over his huge shoulders and wide chest, feeling your stomach flip a little as he got closer.

‘Hey guys. Sharon, you remember Buck?’ Steve gave his friend a proud pat on the shoulder. Sharon nodded and grinned at Bucky, getting only a short, tight smile in return. ‘And this is y/n.’

Looking up to his face, his sharp blue eyes briefly met yours, prompting you to quickly avert your gaze. He looked tense enough without you gawping at him.

‘Nice to meet you.’ You adopted the friendliest tone possible, doing your best to put him at ease.

Steve went to grab some drinks and Sharon volunteered to help him, leaving you at the table with Bucky, bracing yourself for some intensely awkward small talk.

‘So, you’re a mechanic?’ He nodded. ‘Do you enjoy it?’ Another nod.

Alright, he obviously wasn’t in the mood for chatting. 

Christ. If you didn’t break free from this spinster shit soon, that’s exactly where you’d end up.

You didn’t want to force it if he wasn’t comfortable, you could happily sit in silence if that’s what he’d prefer.

You moved your eyes to scan the room, eventually landing on an older woman propping herself up at the bar, downing martinis, eyeing up young men and wobbling on her insanely high heels.

‘What do you do?’

It was barely a mumble, you hardly heard it over the bar’s background music. 

Your eyes returned to Bucky’s face, meeting his hesitant gaze.

‘I work in HR, so boring admin stuff mainly.’ He nodded slightly, his eyes flicking nervously between the table and your face. ‘But occasionally I get to use the shredder, which is pretty rad.’

He cracked a brief smile, the sight of it giving you a wave of goosebumps. ‘Sounds thrilling.’

‘I’ve never been here before, have you?’ You were determined to keep this conversation going, especially if there was a chance that you’d be able to make him smile again.

‘No. I haven’t been to any bars recently.’

‘You’ve got quite a bit of catching up to do then.’

Resting your head on your hand, you gave him a mischievous smirk, and felt a little smug as you noticed his shoulders relax slightly and the corners of his mouth curl upwards.

Hours passed, the bar called last orders, and the four of you traipsed out to begin walking home.

Then Steve and Sharon came back with the drinks, pretty effectively ruining the moment you’d been setting up.

Bucky went quiet again, keeping to himself for most of the evening, only speaking when spoken to. You felt his gaze fall on you occasionally, but each time you tried to meet his eyes they were quickly averted.

‘Oh hey, I forgot to ask.’ Steve gestured towards you. ‘Sharon said you went to visit your parents last weekend? How was that?’

‘I couldn’t go in the end, my car's fucked. It’s my own fault, everyday there was a new rattling sound but just ignored it.’

‘I’ll take a look at it.’ Your eyes snapped over to Bucky, a little shocked at how enthusiastically he’d come out with that. ‘If you want.’

You gave him a wide smile. ‘Wow, yeah, that’d be amazing. Thank you.’

---

A few days later, you were faced with another evening alone while Sharon was at Steve’s.

You unenthusiastically pulled a ready meal out of the fridge and poked some holes in the plastic, shoving it in the microwave and reaching for the half-empty bottle of wine on the counter.

‘Hi. Sorry. I was coming this way and Sharon said you’d be in, I thought I could take a look at your car?’

Just as you went to grab a glass out of the cupboard, you were stopped by a faint knock at the front door.

Shuffling over and yanking it open, you saw Bucky standing on your doorstep, looking just as uncomfortable as he did walking into that bar.

You were a little embarrassed that he’d caught in your pyjamas at 6:30, but that feeling was hugely outweighed with how pleased you were to see him.

‘Yeah, great.’ You gave him a warm smile. ‘I’ll just grab my keys.’

You found your gaze pretty quickly drawn to his arms, propping him up as he leant over the machinery like thick, hefty tree trunks. It was amazing how entranced you were by them, but considering how long it’d been since you’d even brushed past an attractive male, it made sense. God the things you’d let him do, if he-

You slipped on your shoes and led him over to the rustbucket, badly parked on the street outside. He flicked open the bonnet and immediately started tinkering.

You had less than no idea what was happening, but it looked very impressive.

‘Could you start it up?’ His deep voice pulled you out of your hazy fantasies.

‘Hmm? Oh, yeah.’

You tried your best to hide how flustered you were as you climbed into the driver's seat and turned the key. An intense rattling started, which he listened to for a second before signalling for you to turn it off and closing the bonnet.

‘You were right, it needs a lot of work. It’s definitely not safe to drive.’

‘Shit, stuck with the bus then.’ You sighed and climbed out, slamming the door behind you. ‘Thank you so much, you really didn’t have to do this. I appreciate it.’

‘Anytime.’ He smiled politely, taking a couple steps backwards before turning, dropping his head and starting to walk away.

‘You can come in for a drink if you want?’ You called after him, a little shocked at your boldness but not at all mad about it. He spun round. ‘It’s the least I can do.’

He took a sip and turned himself slightly to face you. ‘Look, if you bring your car to the shop where I work, I can probably keep the price down.’

His polite smile evolved into a wide grin as he nodded, following you inside.

You grabbed him a beer from the fridge and gestured for him to join you on the couch, smiling to yourself at how nervous he seemed as he balanced himself right on the edge of the seat.

‘Are you sure?’ He nodded. ‘That's so nice, you barely even know me.’

He looked a little sheepish at that, scurrying around for his words. ‘Sharon was pretty keen for me to come take a look, it’s probably best to keep Steve’s girlfriend on side, y’know.’

‘Oh I do know, Sharon can be terrifying.’ You both chuckled as Bucky edged back, settling himself into the couch a little more. ‘So you and Steve met in the army?’

‘We’ve been friends since we were kids, we signed up together.’

‘That’s nice.’ You tilted your head at him, deciding to take a slight gamble on your next question. ‘Do you miss it?’

He fixed his eyes on the ground and faintly shook his head, nervously starting to pick at the label on his bottle.

Shit, you really didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, you were just curious.

A swift subject change remedied the situation somewhat, and after a while you sensed him beginning to relax again.

You finished off your glass of wine and checked your phone, your hand shooting up to your forehead in shock when you saw that it was close to midnight.

Over the next couple hours he slowly came out of his shell even further, eventually chatting and laughing with you like you were his good friend. The two of you unconsciously edged towards each other throughout the evening, ending up face to face with legs folded up on the couch, as close as you could get without touching.

‘Shit, I have work tomorrow.’

‘I’m really sorry.’ He put his bottle on the coffee table and stood up quickly. ‘I didn’t mean to keep you up.’

‘Oh you don’t have to apologise, it’s not your fault. I had a really nice evening.’

‘Me too.’ He smiled and buried his hands in his pockets, following you to the front door. ‘I’m working every day this week, you can come in whenever.’

‘Friday would be great? I have the day off.’

‘See you then.’

You watched him disappear down the street, feeling your limbs tingle with excitement at the prospect of seeing him again so soon.

---

You usually used your days off to sleep in till midday, but on Friday the tow truck showed up at 7am to take your car to the shop. You didn’t even get up that early on workdays. A pint of coffee was barely enough to keep you from passing out on the ride there.

He eventually noticed you stood there, staring, and your face immediately heated up as he approached.

You hurried inside the garage, scanning the room and eventually spotting Bucky underneath a hoisted truck, reaching up to work on it. His arms were glistening with oil and sweat and his shirt was riding up, exposing the faint trail of hair starting underneath his bellybutton.

Lord in heaven, what a view.

‘Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt.’

‘That’s alright.’ He pulled a dirty rag out of his pocket and roughly wiped his hands. ‘Did you bring the deathtrap?’

‘Yep, just outside.’

‘It’s gonna be a while. I finish at four, d’you wanna come back then?’

‘Sure.’

You walked up the driveway ten minutes early, which you thought was reasonable, and asked the very intimidating guy out front for Bucky. He just eyed you up and down and gestured vaguely to the side of the building.

On the way home you kept accidentally walking into roads, your mind completely occupied with Bucky’s midriff.

The whole day dragged. In your boredom you ended up leaving for the garage about an hour too early, meaning you had to loiter in an off-license, probably looking like you were shoplifting.

Turning the corner, you were met with a pretty impressive, cinematic wide shot of Bucky’s arse as he was leaning over the inside of your bonnet.

You should probably say something. Tell him you were there. Say hello.

Yeah, probably should.

Yeaaah.

You sighed and reluctantly shuffled towards the car.

‘How’s it-’ Bucky jumped and whacked his head against the propped-up bonnet. ‘Fuck! I’m so sorry, are you alright?’

He smiled at you, standing up and rubbing the back of his head. ‘Yeah, all good. Happens all the time.’

‘Oh, really? In that case you might want to consider a career change, could end up with some permanent damage.’ Chuckling, he reached up and slammed the bonnet with one powerful movement. ‘How’s it looking?’

‘Not bad. Want to take it for a spin?’

‘Sure.’ He held up the keys and you grabbed them out of his hand, excitedly hopping in the driver’s seat while he walked around and got in the passenger side. ‘You coming?’

‘Can’t just let you drive off without paying, you might never come back.’

You shot him a wide smile as you fired up the engine, amazed at how smooth it sounded, and pulled away from the garage.

‘I can’t believe it, it didn’t even run this good when I first got it.’ He smirked a little and nodded. ‘Thank you, Buck.’

You were already in the outskirts of the city, so you decided to drive out into the sticks a little, eventually pulling up into a dusty layby on a narrow side road.

Glancing to your side, you saw that Bucky was struggling not to look very pleased with himself.

As he began stroking his thumb along your knuckles, he cautiously pulled his gaze up to your face, looking at you like you’d just told him he’d won the lottery.

His hands were resting on his thighs and, almost unconsciously, you reached out to grab the one closest to you and squeeze it lightly.

He stared down at it for a few seconds, eventually turning his hand over and squeezing back.

You could barely even remember what happened next. You remember the back of your neck tingling, your stomach tightening almost to the point of becoming painful, the feeling of Bucky’s rough, calloused hand against your cheek and the way your heart jumped when he leaned towards you and pressed his mouth against yours.

Eventually pulling away, he buried his face in your neck, planting short kisses along your jawline between laboured breaths. You pushed his head back against the seat and pressed your forehead to his, closing your eyes and letting your hands dance down his chest.

It was slow and tender at first, but it quickly picked up, becoming feverish and passionate.

He threw his arms around your waist and roughly pulled you over onto his lap, holding you so tight to his chest that you couldn’t tell whose heart you could feel thumping like a steam engine.

‘It’s been a while since I’ve done that.’ He sighed, bringing a hand up to bury itself in your hair.

‘Me too.’ Your mouth curled into a smile. ‘It’s been even longer for other stuff.’

Melting into each other in a cacophony of limbs and flesh and tearing clothes, both of you eventually found the release you so desperately needed. 

There was a loaded silence, you opened your eyes to see Bucky staring at you intently, wearing an expression that made your toes curl.

You dived clumsily into the backseat and pulled him after you, giggling as you both adjusted yourselves, trying to get even slightly comfortable in such a tight space.

And both of you did all you could to savour the feeling of finally having someone to hold close.

---

#bucky #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky fanfiction #bucky fluff #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #veteran!bucky #veteran bucky

[plus-size-reader]

Letters

Steve Rogers x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1203 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Steve writing letters to you during the war which he finds out you saved all those years

——————————————————————————————————

Usually when Steve went missing, you usually found him curled up in a corner with a book or something but not today.

When you hadn’t seen or heard from him for an hour or so, you decided to go looking for him, only to find him in your bedroom. He was curled up on your bedroom floor, a box at his side.

It took a moment or two for you to realize what it was, but as soon as you did, you understood what had him so preoccupied.

That was the box of letters you’d kept, kept since 1943 when he joined the army.

You hadn’t looked at them in quite some time, though you didn’t dare get rid of them. You just kept them in that box, sitting in the back of your closet, where Stevec had apparently found it.

“What are you reading?” you asked casually, closing the space between the two of you before sitting down beside him, peering over his shoulder to get a look.

The letter in his hands was almost identical to the rest of them, but the dates always changed. Steve had been especially attentive to detail, moreso in those days.

You always teased him about it then, but all these years later, it helped you keep track of all the memories that had blended together.

“I never thought I’d see these again. You kept all of them?” he questioned finally, not even bothering to answer your previous question. He’d written the letter, but you’d received it.

...And from the looks of it, you hadn’t missed one.

“Of course I did. Steve, I didn’t know if you were coming back” you shrugged, grimacing slightly as you remembered those days. You were forced to deal with his mortality every day.

You lived in constant fear of getting one of those visits to your door, telling you that he’d been killed overseas. So many of the women in town had gotten those visits already and it would kill you if something happened to Steve.

You remembered how you’d begged him not to go, knowing that the warfront would tear him apart, but knowing that it wasn’t really up to him. Steve had this overarching sense of responsibility for his country and he couldn’t let anyone down.

It had seemed so stupid back then, that he would lay his life on the line just because he felt like he had to, but you understood in time.

Not that it was easy to get there.

“I told you I would be back” he hummed, bumping you teasingly to try and help pull you out of that slump you always got in thinking about the past.

It was a touchy subject for you both but at the very least, you had one another to rely on.

The world had taken a lot from  you, but the one thing it could never steal away was Steve. He told you he would be back, and he was, even if it was seventy years late.

“Howard came by the house, told me that your plane had gone down” you sighed, already too deep down memory lane to stop it now. You had never told Steve any of this, though he’d put most of the pieces together.

As you spoke, you reached out to take another of the letters from the box, your fingers gently running over the aged parchment. They had aged rather well, all things considered.

“The first thing I did was gather up all these. I thought they were the only thing I had left of you”

There was a vulnerability in your voice that Steve didn’t miss. It was something he was very in tune to and immediately, his hand found its way into your own.

You didn’t like to talk about the past, as a general rule, but that year was the worst. Even when it would come up on those horrible wartime documentaries, you would have to turn the channel.

That was the year you thought you’d lost everything.

...1945

“I’m sorry. I didn't have a choice” he muttered, pulling you into his chest leaving those letters now long forgotten on the floor. As nice as it was to go back in time for a while, you couldn’t live your life there.

You were here now.

“I know you didn’t. I didn’t either” you whispered back, allowing yourself to be swallowed up in his arms as he held you tight to his chest.

You held so much pain for those years, something that you’d never ever really gotten to grieve. Shortly after you got the news of Steve’s ‘death’ you went a little off the deep end.

The problem was that the vice you took to wasn’t something as simple as gambling or drinking, both popular at the time. Instead, you became obsessed with filling the space he’d left behind.

You became what he was.

At the time, everyone thought you were out of your mind, no one more so than Howard himself but you didn’t care. You were convinced that this was what you had to do, and it all made sense now.

S.H.I.E.L.D used you, in the way Hydra was using Bucky, and that kept you busy for sixty or so years but eventually, that wasn’t the path for you anymore.

Notably, the moment you saw the news of Steve’s plane getting pulled out of the ice, you threw everything else aside.

There was nothing that was more important than Steve, and the chance of him being alive, the chance that they finally found him was too much for you to handle.

It seemed like so long ago now, but you would never forget the way it felt.

“I’ll put them back, I’m sorry”

Steve’s voice broke up the silence you had both just been sitting in, but as he gathered up those envelopes with the intent to put them back in the box, you couldn’t help but stop him.

As soon as your hand came down on his wrist, Steve stopped, looking at you with that expectant look on his face.

“What is it?” he asked, trying to make sense of the strange way you were acting. This was a vulnerable thing for both of you, but you knew that this was the right thing to do.

“We need to burn them” you started, shocking Steve that much more. He briefly considered if you were being crazy, doing something you would regret for a moment of relief, but that all melted away when he met your eyes.

You were deadly serious.

“I got you back, and I’m never going to lose you again. I don’t need them anymore” you explained, slowly taking the box from Steve, who let you do so carefully.

It was certainly symbolic, and maybe a little crazy but somehow Steve understood what you were getting at. For so long, you relied on a box full of paper to be happy, and it never worked.

Now that he was here with you, you didn’t have to do that anymore. You didn’t need a bunch of stuff to keep those memories, not when you had him by your side.

#steve rogers #captain america #marvel #avengers #steve rogers x ps reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america x ps reader #captain america x plus size reader #captain america imagine #marvel x reader #marvel x ps reader #marvel x plus size reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers x ps reader #avengers x plus size reader #avengers imagine

[masterthespianduchovny]

Can we get a break? Like once? Does context mean nothing here? All this to peddle a ship that will never be canon. Nor did the MCU tease it. Actors going along with it or supporting it isn’t the same as the MCU saying it’s canon. We saw what happened when Anthony Mackie shut down S*mB*cky. And the only reason I’m annoyed is because they always do this shit with steggy content and misogyny eventually creeps in. 😒 or is blatant.

And let’s be clear: something having the same beats doesn’t mean the subtext is similar. A prime example of this is eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. There is a date, I know, I know, a romantic thing, that late winslets character was so enamored with when she was on a date with him Carrey’s character. However, when elijah woods character took her out on the same exact date, there was no spark.

That’s to say that just bc Peggy and Steve shared a drink just like Steve and Bucky didn’t doesn’t make the context the same.

In captain America, Peggy comes in visits Steve at the bar and the context is clearly romantic. They’re eye fucking each other. Despite working together, they weren’t on the battlefield together in that way. But Steve’s talk with Bucky was never played as romantic, the furthest thing from it.

In captain Carter, she and Steve were literally fighting side by side and were actually partners. The bar scene plays out differently because context already established they were romantically interested in one another before they had drinks. Peggy literally trains in the same room Steve rehabs in. She could train anywhere, but she chooses to be next to Steve.

Bucky fought alongside Steve, but it was never to the same degree as Peggy and Steve in captain Carter. Bucky was a howling commando who was also Steve’s best friend. In this case, steve as hydra stomper was more involved than anyone else when it came to captain Carter. We see them work together and coordinate battlefield strategy as they actively fought.

So when we get to the bar scene, it’s not the same beat as Bucky and Steve. We see that Steve and Peggy were already romantically interested in one another prior to that point (like in captain America), their bond strengthened due to the switched serum participate (their feelings and the values), and they worked together intimately in a way Steve and Bucky hadn’t.

Their context being romantic doesn’t make Steve and Bucky’s bar chat romantic or mean that it was to begin with.

Peggy and buckys roles in Steve’s life, their influence on him, and how he feels about them isn’t interchangeable. Despite caring about Steve, Bucky wasn’t supportive of Steve’s desire to be in the army. He didn’t get it. People may say it’s because Steve was sickly or whatever, but Bucky gave the impression that he would switch places with Steve if he could. I’ll need a refresher on that part, but he seem sympathetic to Steve’s sadness just not why he wanted to fight.

Where as Peggy didn’t underestimate Steve due to his size and health issues. She thought he was a value asset to the army and defended him pre serum. When Steve feels bad about himself for being the army’s mascot, she reminded him why he joined the army and talked sense into him.

It took Steve taking the serum and saving Bucky for Bucky to appreciate the heart the scrawny kid from Brooklyn had regarding fighting for others. Peggy realized that from the start.

When you flip Peggy and Bucky, the context changes because they aren’t the same person.

Even Steve’s role in captain carter is different. People say he played the Bucky role, but the thing is: Steve and Peggy ALWAYS believed in one another pre serum. Their support was never contingent on enhanced abilities.

Steve calling attention to captain Carter is different than Bucky doing it with Steve. Steve always believed in Peggy and he’s further supporting her and having others support her, especially bc she deals with sexism. Bucky is calling attention to Steve bc he’s appreciative, but he’s also truly valuing Steve’s heart for the first time when it comes to fighting for others. Steve wasn’t brave bc he was stronger, he’d always been brave and bucky was finally giving credit to that and wanted Steve to be valued by others in that moment.

There is nothing romantic about someone who’s you’re best friend and has known you for most of their lives realizing that your heart and determination are strengths. But there is something romantic about a person listening to you and seeing you for who you are and further validating these aspects of you. Someone who wants others to see what they’ve always admired about you.

Like Steve and Peggy were so enamored with each other. They got each other and some ppl just can’t deal with that and always have to bring it back to Bucky.

I don’t care that ppl ship Steve and Bucky, but please leave steggy out of it. Please stop ignoring context and pretending everything is interchangeable about these repurposed scenes when it isn’t.

Context is key.

But I’m not surprised considering how these same group of people (those who live to downplay and/or shit on steggy) love to obsess over “subtext” all while ignoring context to prove Stucky was being teased or set up. Yet when you prove the same for steggy, every excuse in the book is used for how it’s not the same. 😒 or as good. 🙄

Lastly, Steve and Bucky would still be friends, but they wouldn’t be growing old together in that way. If the beats of what if continue to be similar to the infinity saga. 😌

#steggy #anti stucky #what if spoilers

[sadachmesarthim]

coercive notions - stucky

content: semi-graphic violence, blood, minor character deaths, emotional manipulation and abuse, false imprisonment, kidnapping, torture in the form of nonconsensual body modifications, stockholm syndrome.

dead dove: do not eat. steve sucks big time in this one. i’m not really sorry about it. 

note: happy 6k followers to @sweeterthanthis​ !!! i love the idea of these prompts, they definitely did their job !! i was thrilled when i saw i got my quote of choice. this one’s based on ”i wish i knew how to quit you” from brokeback mountain (my favorite angsty husbands) 

if the timeline is nonsensical in this - think 2 years post engame but no one's actually died! there is also some background starker but it's only mentioned twice. this is my first time writing for steve and bucky, and my first ~dark~ piece. it was definitely the challenge it presented itself as, and i’m super thankful for the opportunity to participate alongside so many talented witers!! 

word count: 4.2k ; read time 15 minutes

Steve'd survived because of Bucky. 

Bucky was the one that kept the fevers at bay, bought him medicine, nursed him back to health even when neither of them thought he'd survive through the night. Bucky was the one that dragged him out of the river, and left him alive on the bank.

Left him to wake up. 

Bucky was the one that welcomed him with open arms when Steve was abandoned by the Avengers. Steve'd lost his home, his family - everyone and everything he had - when the world rejected him (the millionth time). Bucky was the one that came back. He'd lost his arm, his identity, everyone and everything he remembered - but he still ran to Steve without hesitation. No matter how far away they got, no matter what separated them, they always came back to one another. 

They got together right after the fight with Tony in Siberia. 

They'd found each other, and suddenly gained a future. 

Steve had never... really pictured himself having a future. When he was younger, he accepted that he'd die young. A fever that wouldn't break, a cough that wouldn't leave, pneumonia he couldn't beat... Then he joined the army. He suddenly... had possibilities.

But there was still war, he was still fighting, and he was still in the line of danger every single day. It didn't matter if he was fighting Hitler, homophobia, Hydra, - someone was always gunning for him. Someone was always trying to get him killed. And it worked! He died! Crashed straight into the ocean and froze, for seventy fucking years!

Until someone had the audacity to defrost him, and yet again force him into the line of fire. Without really consulting him first. It was something Steve was slowly coming to terms with - he’d always be fighting, always be serving, always be protecting. 

He’d been failing his job as a protector, lately. 

+//////+

They all thought it was a bit weird, but then again, so is living with two men that look seventy years younger than they actually are. So is living with your coworkers. So is being a superhero. So of course none of the other Avengers said anything. 

Not when Bucky started asking Steve permission for things - to get up from, and leave, the table after meetings. If he could get seconds during breakfast or dinner. If he was allowed to come on patrols or missions. Everyone just assumed it was a forties thing, or that it was just Bucky getting more comfortable around them. The dirtier minds of the group (Tony, Peter, Natasha) chalked it up to a kinky sex thing. 

Steve saw it as devotion. 

Bucky saw it as a way to keep him appeased. 

See, Steve'd gotten more... irritable, lately. Every time Bucky got hurt on patrol, was in a bad position during a mission, needlessly volunteered to do something dangerous  - it pissed Steve off to high heavens, for no reason. It'd gotten significantly worse over the course of a few months, to the point where Bucky could barely breathe without Steve getting upset. 

It came to a head one day when Bucky got pinned during a fight with New York's latest nuisance. He wasn't even supposed to be there, it was his day off, for fucks sake. But he'd heard the call go out, and suited up before following a few minutes behind the rest of the crew. 

This particular species of big nasty™ (a xorrian dog? Thor had called it?) had an... upsetting taste for live, warm flesh. He popped up outta nowhere over Manhattan during the Friday morning rush, apparently scouting Earth for the next course in their Milky Way Dinner Service. 

Bucky, self sacrificing moron that he is, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as Steve laid down the final blow, narrowly avoiding the alien's jaw, Bucky slid underneath it, shoving his hand between the soft plating of the monster's stomach. He reached in, single-handedly gutting the thing while Steve put a shield-sized dent in its skull.

Their foe dropped almost instantly, crushing Bucky beneath several tons of dead weight. None of them would have known he was there, either, if Tony hadn’t programmed life-sensing protocols in a new combat arm he’d gifted the soldier for his second anniversary home and Hydra-free. A signal went to Tony’s suit the instant FRIDAY sensed structural integrity issues, sending him a precise location.

“What do you mean he’s here, babygirl? We didn’t call him in.” The worry in Tony’s voice was apparent, calling the attention of the rest of his team. They were all intrigued, prematurely pulled from their celebrations of a fight well won. 

“It seems that Sergeant Barnes is approximately twenty paces northwest of your location, and his elevation is slowly decreasing. Would you like a map of the area?”  

“Uhh, no Fri. I think I know exactly where he is. Cap, get your ass over here!” His heart rate was increasing by the second. If he thought correctly (as Tony almost always did), Bucky was... underneath the alien. “We need to pick this fucker up, or flip it, or something. I think Bucky’s stuck under it.” 

Steve’s blood ran cold. “Tony, what the fuck are you talking about? Bucky wasn’t part of the group today.” 

Steve didn’t hide his anxiety well when it came to Bucky. Their team knew that he was Steve’s whole world. One more life threatening situation, and Steve might actually die from old age with all the years Bucky’d stressed out of him. FRIDAY sending a detailed ping with Bucky’s combat arm location didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety, either. He knew it was just like Bucky to do something like this - jump in without word, all act and no think. Try to help his team out and wind up crushed by an alien pet the size of a 787.

Peter was next to them, soon, ready to help get this thing off their friend. Together, they managed to drag Mister Beast-of-the-Week far enough down the street, revealing a very unconscious, very bloody Winter Soldier nestled in the asphalt. 

Steve was on him in a second, picking Bucky up with both hands. Tony already had FRIDAY doing preliminary scans and sending them back to Cho and Strange. Initial reads weren’t terrible, all things considered, but he still looked like shit. He might be five hundred times stronger than the average man, but no one’s prepared to be stuck under 200 tons of pure xeno-reptilian mass. Not even Bucky Barnes. 

His head rolled back freely as Steve picked him up, exposing an already bruised and swelling jaw. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, choking him on his own shock. Saved by the bell, Cho called Tony back immediately, sending for one of them to bring him to the tower surgical site immediately. 

“We have to go, Steve. Let us take him, we’ll get him fixed. We’ve done it before. We can do it again. But you have to let him go.” Steve’s upward glance brought him Tony’s exasperated face. He was dizzy, everything felt like slow motion. 

He didn’t register the movement until he saw it, watching Peter’s hands as they held him back. Tony took Bucky’s lifeless form, carrying him toward Stark Tower and away from the wreckage. 

The wreckage he shouldn’t have been anywhere near in the first place. 

The wreckage he wouldn’t even have known about if he didn’t beg Tony to be included in all mission alerts. 

The wreckage he would have avoided if it weren’t for the martyr complex he’d had since birth. It might not be nearly as strong as Steve’s, but it was still there. Bucky’d always gone to obscene lengths protecting the people he loved. 

Steve had a track record of doing a piss poor job of repaying the favor. He couldn’t save him from the war. He couldn’t save him from the train, or from Hydra. He couldn’t save him from Thanos. He couldn’t even save him from a stupid little skirmish downtown. No, from where he was standing, Steve’d fucked up. Big time. 

He promised that day, he wasn’t going to let anything like this happen again. 

+//////+

It was weeks before he was back to normal, and even then - Bucky wasn't entirely sure he wanted to leave. Not because he was still sore, or not feeling up to par. In fact, he'd been antsier and more ready to get back into the field than ever. He missed his friends, he missed the people he fought evil with every day. He missed sparring with Sam and going on runs with Peter, listening as Thor regaled stories about Old Asgard no one.. could quite follow. Missed the twice weekly calls from Shuri. But most of all, he missed his freedom. 

Steve wasn't ready to give it to him. 

When he woke up after surgery, Steve was right next to his recovery bed. He almost looked like he did back in the day - sleep deprived, worry lines forcing their way to the surface of his face. Vague frustration enveloped him, even when he met Bucky's conscious form for the first time. 

Their first few conversations were tender, loving, but it didn't take long for them to sour. 

Steve'd insisted on bringing Bucky back to their shared floor immediately after he woke. He allowed Cho to look him over, FRIDAY to scan him, everyone to come say hi - but he never let Bucky out of his sight. Not while Bucky was awake, anyway. 

He slept a lot in those first few days. He was still healing, and while it might have been much faster than anyone expected, he was also recovering from what should have been several deaths over. He spent most of his time in bed, asleep, or talking to Steve. 

Most of it was lecture, some was praise. How stupid he was to get involved on his day off. How much Steve loved him. How he wasn't allowed to go being a martyr like that again. How much Steve loved him. How Steve was going to do a better job of watching over him from now on. How much Steve loved him. 

There was a lot of that, after Bucky woke up. How much Steve loved him. How important Bucky was to him, how much it meant to him that Bucky was alive and breathing and conscious and okay. Every time he got a lecture, or a reminder, Steve's hand was on him somewhere. His shoulder, his wrist, his face. His throat. Every time he spoke, he squeezed, just the tiniest bit. Not threatening, not even to force acknowledgement. Just.. Because he could. To the untrained eye, it was just physical contact. 

Bucky knew better. 

Bucky knew conditioning when he saw it. When he felt it. 

Bucky also knew he was significantly more susceptible to conditioning than most people. 

Bucky was fucked. 

+//////+

Tony didn't think anything of it when Steve asked for handcuffs that could hold a supersoldier back. He, too, was a pervert with a genetically enhanced super-boyfriend, who was he to deny the Captain a little fun? He'd designed restraints Peter could use without breaking (or hurting himself!), why not share the love?

No one thought anything of it when Bucky stopped joining them on missions. Trauma has a different effect on everyone, maybe Bucky just needed time to process almost dying (again). No one would blame him for it. Hell, most of them encouraged his staying home. 

None of them... really thought anything of it when he quit leaving altogether. They trusted Steve's judgement, and if he didn't think Bucky was ready to leave, then he wasn't. Bucky knew better than to defy him, too - just kept his mouth shut around "yes, Steve"s and "okay, Steve"s.

The conditioning didn't stop as he got stronger. He'd been back to 100% weeks ago, but Steve was still babying him. Carrying him to the shower, not letting Bucky bathe himself, or brush his own teeth. He couldn't dress or eat without help, go anywhere without asking. "I just want to keep you safe. I need to know that you're not going to get hurt." Steve's words remained calm, level, but his face betrayed the threat behind them. If you don't listen, you won't be able to leave at all. 

Bucky'd learned the hard way that if he didn't listen to Steve, he wouldn't have a choice. He'd attempted to leave their floor by himself while Steve was out on a mission with Tony, Nat, and Thor - he got up early, showered, got dressed. His first taste of freedom in a long time, he was so excited to go see everyone again. 

He was downstairs and halfway through breakfast with Bruce and Peter when Steve got back. 

+//////+

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the sun. It's a familiar feeling to him, one he thought he'd never deal with again. The isolation. The lack of control. The fear. 

Steve initially hadn't looked mad. He let Bucky finish his meal, kept a distant but watchful eye over the group until the two others finished and moved on to their lab work downstairs. 

Bucky knew he was fucked. He'd broken rules. He'd left their room without permission. Steve might not have looked it, but Bucky could feel the anger and disappointment radiating off him. 

After that... He wasn't allowed to do anything. 

No workouts, no missions, no patrols. No leaving their room. Steve'd used the restraints Tony made - had him thoroughly tied down to the floor below their bed. No internet, no phone. Not a single book or movie or boardgame in sight. Good boys don't require entertainment to behave. No eating - Steve'd placed a gastric tube down his sinus to provide nutrition. His muzzle, the one hydra'd used... Steve'd locked it over his jaw, and left it there. Good boys don't need to use their mouths - not to drink, not to eat. Not to talk back or call for help.  No using the bathroom on his own - he had a catheter replaced once a day, and Steve changed his bag as needed. Good boys don't get to leave the bed, not even if it's an emergency. 

He learned to wait for Steve. Learned his schedule - early morning meetings with Wakanda, check ins with Fury and Maria, patrol a bit after lunch. Then, he'd come back, make sure Bucky's bag was empty and his feeding tube was flushed and clean before feeding him. 

Steve allowed him to use the bathroom and shower at night, under incredibly watchful eyes. The restraints Tony'd made were long enough to stretch the entire perimeter of their room, but Steve kept him on a short leash. Bucky had five minutes total - shit, shower, shave. If he didn't finish in time... There's always tomorrow. 

If he did, he'd get rewarded. 

Steve'd wrap him up in a large fluffy towel, carry him to bed. He'd bring back the sweet little reminders, with his hand around Bucky's throat. How much Steve loved him. How this was all for his protection. How Steve wasn't going to let anything happen to him, ever again. How proud Steve was of him, for letting him return that favor, even decades later. How well behaved Bucky was, how good he'd been for Steve.

Steve was so different from Hydra, too. That's what made it so fucking difficult to resist the love bomb-type conditioning. He wasn't the torture type - didn't like the idea of doing anything he didn't have to. Steve didn't want to hurt him, and Bucky knew that. He found it harder to reject Steve's advances the longer he was locked in that fucking room, found it harder to discern whether or not he... wanted... to reject it.  

He was Bucky's dialysis, and his drinking problem. 

He was Bucky's oxygen machine, and the cigarettes he'd smoked to earn him one. 

Steve could ask Bucky to do anything, ask him for anything... and he was powerless to say no. He'd tried. 

+//////+

It'd gotten him a flick to the mouth, for his hesitation. 

"When I ask you a question, love, you need to answer me. Do you understand?" The tears in his eyes nearly spilled over, sharp pain from his lips radiating into his nose and the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to answer. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run, to get the fuck away from Steve and the compound and everything. 

"Yes."

"Yes what, angel?" Steve might've been good about keeping his emotions checked in public, but Bucky could tell he was smug. Gloating. He enjoyed this. What'd happened to the sweet kid from Brooklyn that could barely hold himself upright? Bucky missed him. 

"Yes, Stevie. I’m sorry Stevie." Saying his name was painful. This wasn't his Steve. This wasn't the Steve he'd fallen in love with. Wasn't even the man that'd dragged him out from underneath that alien... How long ago? Months? Years? 

Bucky didn't know anymore. 

Didn't know why his friends hadn't saved him yet. Didn't know how his absence went unnoticed for... however long it'd been. Didn't know why he was struggling to be upset about it all. 

Steve, observant as he was, could practically see the gears turning in the other's head. He cradled Bucky's face in his hands, drawing him into calculated eye contact. Bucky felt sick. There was something... wrong, there. Something Bucky'd never seen before. 

"They don't love you like I do, Buck. They don't want you. They don't love you." 

Bucky flinched at the words, physically recoiling from Steve's grasp. He knew it wasn't true, he knew... He thought it wasn't, right? 

Steve's laugh pulled Bucky out of his own thoughts, bringing him back to the room in front of him. He had a display up, with various recordings of the rest of the Avengers. He flipped through them, muting and unmuting seemingly at random. 

"... I mean, he's probably ditched us for Zemo again. Would that really shock you?"

"he almost died again. I don't blame him, i wouldn't want to be found eith-"

"-e can take care of himself, let's just give him time."

Steve waved the holo display away when he saw the first few tears fall. "Don't you see, Baby? They don't care like I do - they don't love you like I love you. No one will ever love you like I love you." Steve's words stung, but Bucky couldn't deny that they made sense. Of course no one was looking for him. He was unpredictable, still kind of an outsider. Why would they try to come find him? Why would they care?

Bucky's mouth moved before his brain could stop him.

"'m sorry, Stevie, please, I'm so sorry! I-I- I thought they cared, please, please don't leave me Stevie! I was so wrong, Steve please! Wish I knew how to stop, Stevie, but you know I can't. You gotta help me stop Stevie, I've been so confused, been tryin' to quit you Stevie but I can't. Wish I could quit you but I can't, I can’t be left alone anymore. Please, you can take my arm if you want it, Stevie. Take anything, take whatever you want from just please, please don’t leave me alone anymore!"

He was in hysterics at this point, unable to believe what was coming out of him. Was he really okay with Steve taking his arm away? Did he really love this Steve back? Was he just scared?

The worst part was that he couldn't tell. 

+//////+

The smell of fresh coffee woke him before he was ready. His eyes burned, still dry after Steve refused to close the window before they went to bed. 

Bucky would have closed it himself, but he couldn't actually reach that far. 

They'd moved out to the cabin a few months after Bucky finally broke realized how wrong he was. It was a cute little place, big enough for the two of them but small enough to not draw attention if someone came upon it by accident. Not that they really could. Steve'd installed motion sensors five miles out, and had fully automated... solutions, in place, should any threats or issues arise. 

They went entirely unused. 

It really was a beautiful plot of land - they had a few animals, a cute pair of kittens to dote on and play with. He had enough room to move around, to sit in the sun or curl up in bed. He had plenty of books, games, anything and everything he could want to occupy his time, really. He had Steve. 

And breakfast now, apparently. 

Steve set the plate on the bedside table, gently sitting next to his lover and planting small kisses on his still shut eyelids. Bucky looked up and smiled, blushing at the hand that'd wrapped around his neck. He reached out, gently thumbing at the inside of Steve's wrist. Oh, how he'd missed this. Missed contact with his Steve. 

He opened his mouth, accepting the bite Steve offered him. Steve always made the best pancakes, he thought, appreciating the hot meal hitting his tongue. He hadn't eaten this good in weeks. It was hard for him to cook without his arm, but Steve always provided. Steve cooked for them, cleaned up after them, made sure Bucky was sated. Safe. 

He'd taken off for a mission nearly a month ago. A dangerous one, he'd said. One he might not return from for a while, he'd said. Bucky worried. He always did when Steve left, especially since he couldn't know where or why he was going. But Steve always came back to him. Sometimes, he was back in one piece. Once, he'd come home with an arrow in his stomach and several gunshot wounds. That'd been a... scary night. Another time, he came home with half of his hair singed off and his clothes in tatters. 

Last night... Last night he finally came home, and he looked like shit. 

He was covered in bruises, nearly 40 pounds lighter than he was when he'd left. There were holes in the shield, too large to be bullets but too small to be anything else easily recognizable. Some were through his suit, too - puncture wounds littering his chest and stomach. They were already partially closed, but he was still bloody. 

There were still webs in his hair, too - Bucky brushed them away after Steve closed (and locked. always locked.) the door. He knew better than to comment. Steve was just protecting him. Steve loved him, he was doing what he needed to keep Bucky safe. 

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. That each time Steve left for a mission, Bucky cried himself to sleep. He thought, eventually, that the pain would go away. That the death of each of his friends would get easier, somehow. That the fear, the hope, of losing Steve would stop consuming him. 

He'd just smiled, kissed his husband's cheek, and helped him strip down. He'd mouthed at the graze left on the side of Steve's neck, reverent in the presence that was his protector. Bucky'd developed quite the complex, in their time of isolation. Every time Steve came in - from cutting firewood, picking food from the garden, feeding the animals, or from nights like last... Bucky just couldn't stop talking. 

About how he wouldn't be alive without Steve. How he'd still be a mindless slave for Hydra, killing innocent people under everyone's noses. How he owed Steve his life, a thousand times over. How he'd've been taken by Ross or Stark or Clint or someone, and locked away miles under the sea. He'd pressed them into Steve's jaw like kiss-coated secrets, like no one in the entire world knew these things but Bucky & Steve. Like they were bits of information to cherish, to chew on and savour before swallowing. 

Steve just laughed, picking Bucky up and bringing him to bed. He followed shortly after, cleaning and patching himself up before snuggling right up to Bucky. 

Sleeping was interesting, initially, but they'd adapted. It was easier to cuddle Bucky without his arm, but sometimes Steve woke up with his legs tangled in loose chains by the footboard. It was an easy enough trade, in Bucky's opinion. Give up his arm, give up a bit of freedom, and get a loving, devoted husband in return? One that would make him breakfast in bed, one that would hold him and kiss him and praise him whenever he needed? One that would kill for him? Die for him?

Bucky saw it as a fair enough trade, and if that meant their friends needed to die... He tried not to think about it.

#quotemeonit6kchallenge #sweeterthanthis #there's a lot of tw tags on this bc i want to be safe #i'm not used to writing full length fics so this was definitely a challenge for me #steve rogers/bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #graphic violence #kidnapping #torture #emotional abuse #manipulation #tw violence #tw kidnapping #tw abuse #tw manipulation #stockholm syndrome #tw stockholm syndrome #murder #tw murder #.mine #.text #.fic #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #bucky barnes/steve rogers #bucky barnes x steve rogers #dark!steve rogers

[lovlydovlyjaycie]

Ævi - Frontlines

Hey again! This will be a continued series. The first Ævi series is in my masterlist and is only four parts. This is going to be a ongoing series, so there is going to be a lot more of Ævi to come. :)

Summary: Y/n or also known as Ævi has lived through varies of world events. Now it is 1941, she has excepted that some things cannot be changed so Loki has convinced Y/n to go to New York and live a normal life, a life Y/n always wanted. Or as normal it can be, because new introductions lead to events that didn’t go down in the history books.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, Loki, Steve Rogers, OC Vera

Warnings: Violence, we’re officially in Captain America the First Avenger now... So I guess spoilers?

Part 9

“Steve?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was either him or someone that looked A LOT like him. “What the hell happened to you? And what are you wearing.” I wondered. He used to be slightly shorter than I was, but now I was looking up at him.

“It’s a long story and I’ll tell you all about it. But right now I am looking for Bucky and I’m assuming you are too.” He said. Bucky? “What? Is he here?” I asked trying to process everything that was going on right now. This was confusing. “What happened to Bucky?” Steve nodded. “The 107th got taken here and so was Bucky. He said as he moved on to the door next to him and I followed him. “Sergeant, three-two-five-five-seven.” I could hear coming from the room. It was Bucky’s voice. As I walked in further I saw him laying on the table. “Bucky?” Steve said as he rounded the table to stand next to him. I ran over to stand on the other side. “Are you ok?” I asked putting my hand on his cheek. He felt hot. “Oh my God.” Steve said as he unbuckled the straps holding Bucky into place. Bucky was just staring at the ceiling not meeting anyone’s eyes. “Bucky. Look here, come on.” I turned his face towards me and he finally met my gaze. “Y/n?” He asked confused. “We’re gonna get you out of here.” I told him. “We? Is- is that?” He turned his head towards Steve. “It’s Steve, yes, it’s me.” He answered back. “Come on. I thought you were dead.” Steve said as he pulled him up from the table. “I thought you were smaller.” Bucky said in wonder looking at Steve, just as confused as I still was about this. Bucky looked over at me. “How did you get here?” He asked as he slumped over. I quickly ran forward to catch him almost falling. “It’s a long-..” I started as Bucky planted a kiss on my lips. “I never thought to see you here.” He told me as he pulled back. I smiled at him. In all this chaos going on I didn’t know what to expect, but this was a really nice surprise. 

“Come one, we gotta go.” Steve said as he put Bucky’s arm around his shoulder to keep him up, I did the same on the other side. Bucky looked over to Steve again. “What happened to you?” He asked as we started moving out of the room. “I joined the army.” Steve said.

As we were walking through the hallway Bucky kept asking Steve questions about his height difference. Until the building started shaking. We came to a big storage area where bombs where exploding one by one. 

“Captain America! How exciting!” Someone said on the other side. It was a tall man and the small man I passed earlier in the hallway before seeing Steve. “I am a great fan of your films!” He continued. “Films?” Bucky and I asked at the same time. Steve just gave us a nod. Bucky looked at me seeing if I had any answers. I just shrugged. “So Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive.” Steve and the man started walking closer to each other. Until Steve hit him in the face, my eyebrows shot up at that not expecting that. It looked like he had a lot of power behind that punch without a lot of effort. The man hit back but hit Steve’s shield denting it.  Steve tried to reach for his gun until he got hit with another punch and flew back. Laying on his back Steve kicked his feet up which made the man fly back. Now the small man pulled a lever pulling the bridge apart that Steve was standing on. 

“I was Dr. Erskine’s greatest success. He said as he pulled on his face revealing his red skull. I looked on in shock, not expecting any of this to happen. Red skull gave some more threats before leaving in an elevator as more explosives went off around us. 

“Come on, let’s go up.” Steve said as he pulled Bucky and me with him. Bucky holding my hand tightly. We followed him up the stairs and in front of us there was a beam. “I’ll go first, one at a time.” Bucky said before letting go and climbing over the railing. The beam was wiggling from his weight and the explosives going off around us. Then the beam slightly snapped and moved down a little bit. “Bucky!” I yelled in fear. “I’m ok!” He yelled back. He continued on and got to the other side. As he climbed over he yelled. “Come on! This thing isn’t gonna hold.” I looked at Steve. “Come on your turn. Go to Bucky.” He said motioning for me to go. I climbed over the railing and started quickly but carefully walking on the beam. A bomb exploded underneath me and the whole beam was starting to shake and drop down more. I quickly ran forward and jumped, I caught myself on the railing by Bucky. He grabbed my arms tightly and pulled me up. As I stood next to him he took my hand again. “Gotta be a rope or something!” Bucky yelled at Steve. “Just go! Get out of here!” Steve yelled as he was waving his hands. “No! Not without you!” He yelled back tears in his eyes and holding my hand tighter.

Steve started to bend the railing and took a few steps back before running forward. Jumping as more explosives went off. He easily landed over to where we were without needing any help. That was a big jump I thought to myself. “Come on let’s go!” He said before he already started running for the exit. Bucky and I hurriedly following Steve. I had so many questions about what made him what he is now.

Steve kicked a door down and as we ran through there were more guards that probably hadn’t made it out yet. Buy one of the guards was wearing this big beefy suit, luckily there was only one of them and three regular guards, but behind the big guy there was Colonel Lohmer hiding. I looked at Bucky and he seemed scared by just getting a look from the Colonel. As I was turning back to the guards the big guy shot something at us which made us fly back.

I sprung in action immediately, I jumped up from the ground I was laying on and pulled Loki’s knifes from behind my back. I made a start towards the guards and as I came close enough I slid on the ground with me knees, cutting the two of the smaller guards legs along the way and they fell on the ground. The next small guards tried to make a start at me, because I was still down, but I quickly jumped up and made a cartwheel hitting him in the face with my feet. Now standing up I kicked both of the first guards in their head. Three down, two to go.

The big guy was pointing his weird big gun at me. I kicked at his arm and he fired, hitting a wall and rubble coming down. “What the hell is this?” I said more to myself. Distracted he got the opportunity to push me back and hard. I fell back near Steve. “You ok?” He asked as he got up and pulled me with him. I nodded ready to run back to the fight, but Steve was ahead of me. He ran towards the big guy and kicked him in his chest making him fly back and knocking him out along with the others. I turned towards Bucky who was still on the ground, probably trying to process what was happening. I gave him my hand and pulled him up. I tried to check him, looking for injuries. “I’m ok.” He said knowing what I was doing. But he didn’t look at me. He was looking at the Colonel who was cowardly running away from the fight. “Who is that?” I asked trying to understand why he was scarred. “He-..” His voice slightly shaking. It was uncomfortable for him to speak about it clearly. and that told me enough. “Lets go.” I said to Steve and Bucky. We probably didn’t have a lot of time left until the whole building would collapse. 

Running out of the building we saw people gathering that didn’t look like they belonged with Hydra. “Follow them. They were taken prisoner as well.” Steve told me answering the question I had. Looking around us this looked like a battlefield. People laying lifeless on the ground, weapons next to them. I walked closer to one of the guns I saw the big guy holding. It looked like something from the future. As I picked it up it didn’t feel as heavy as I expected. Maybe that was because it was shooting weird blue lasers. “What’s wrong?” Bucky asked as he came standing next to me. “I just have never seen anything like this before. It doesn’t make any sense.” I was inspecting it, trying to figure out how something like this can exist in the forties. 

In the distance buy the burning building I saw something move or better said someone. It was the Colonel. I ran towards him as quick as I could. “Stop right there?” I yelled as I pointed the gun up at him. He put his hands up and slowly turned towards me. “Taking me prisoner?” He asked. “Maybe. Depends with what kinda information you can give me.” He smirked. “Oh I see that you made friends with the test subject.” He said in a sinister tone as Bucky came standing next to me again. “You healed quite nicely, considering all the beating you received.” He continued smiling. He actually thought it was funny, how dare he. I came closer pointing the gun at his head. “How did you make these?” I asked trying to ignore what he just said about Bucky. “Little girl, your mind will not comprehend what we did and used to make that.” Trying to dismiss me. “Try me. What did you use to make these.” I demanded. Bucky put his hand on my shoulder. “Y/n, lets just go, he’ll get what he deserves.” Bucky said quietly. “Not yet. What did you use!?” I demanded again. “A magical cube.” He said mockingly. “Lets go. He’s not going to answer your question.” Bucky started to pull me away. But that answer, answered more than Bucky could understand. But I decided to listen to him anyway. “Cowards.” I heard to Colonel say under his breath. I turned around and pointed the gun at him and shot him. He turned into dust. “What the hell.” I said, looking at the damage of what I just did. I gave one look at the gun and dropped it out of my hands. What did I just do? Bucky grabbed my hand and pulled me towards where Steve was waiting for us.

-

As we got to camp I was walking between Steve and Bucky. He exchanged some words with, what I’m assuming to be the Colonel. When he left a woman walked up to Steve. “You’re late.” She said to Steve. “I couldn’t call my ride.” Steve said as he showed him his walkie. That made her give him a small smile. “Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” Bucky yelled. He smiled down at me. Bucky looked so proud at him, yet a little sad. When people where still cheering Steve turned towards us. “Bucky, Y/n, this is Agent Peggy Carter. Peggy, this is Bucky and Y/n.” Peggy offered her hand to me first. “I’ve heard a lot about you two.” She said as she shook my hand and then Bucky’s. “Only good things I hope.” Bucky said awkwardly smiling. She nodded. 

“Well, Bucky needs to get checked out by a medic, where can he do that?” I asked Peggy. “I’m fine, doll don’t worry.” I shook my head. “No, you’ve been in there for God knows how long. You’re gonna get checked out.” He put his hands up, giving in, knowing I wouldn’t stop otherwise. “It’s that tent over there.” Peggy pointed to the direction that we needed to walk and I grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him with me. 

“You’re one of the soldiers that was taken past the frontlines?” One of the medics asked as we walked in. Bucky nodded and got quickly looked over. “You don’t seem like you’re injured?” The medic wondered. “It’s because I’m not. But this beautiful woman wants to be reassured.” He said as he nodded his head over to me. “Can I have a moment?” I asked the medic and he nodded and walked away. I closed the curtains around me for some privacy. “What are you doing?” I asked him. “What..? What do you mean?” He asked confused. “You could get discharged and go home.” I explained. This war is far from over and being in America was a lot safer than being here. “Why would I do that?” He asked not getting what I was saying. “You promised to not fight, you did anyway, which.. is fine, but now you’re done. You know what it is like to fight in a war now.. so you can go home.. Where it is safe.” He shook his head. “I can’t go home now.. Steve is here.. You’re here.” He said as he stepped closer putting his hand on my cheek. “I need you to be safe.” I told him as I put my hand on his. “And I need you to be safe. And what better way to do that by staying with you.” I shook my head. “It’s not safe here, Buck.” I said looking him in his eyes. “Would you come with me now then if I did go home?” I looked down. I couldn’t do that. Not yet. “I know you can’t. Cause whatever you were after in that facility, you don’t have yet what you were looking for. And you don’t need to tell me what it is that you are after, but let me help you, with whatever you need, doll.” He told me. It made me happy that he wanted to help, but him staying here made me fear what could happen to him. I nodded, confirming I want his help and I’ll give him my help with whatever he needs. He smiled at me and inched closer giving me a kiss. As he slowly pulled back he started to talk again. “Can I just ask one question?” He asked. “Sure.” I told him hoping it wasn’t something I couldn’t answer. “You’re not a spy or something are you? For what ever country that uniform is from.” That made me laugh.” No, I’m not a spy.” I shook my head at the absurdity of the question, even though I could understand why he would ask that. “And this is from Norway. They don’t exactly know I have this uniform.” Bucky started to laugh at that.

-

It took some convincing, but I was allowed to work with Steve and Bucky and the howling commandos. Peggy helped me out a lot, she is an amazing strong willed woman and I can see why Steve likes her. We had transferred to London to find more places where Hydra had facilities like that and plan. Steve had seen a map and gave them the places. Tonight we were celebrating and even though we were in the rubble in the middle of London, it felt like everything was normal.

“Wow!” Bucky exclaimed as I walked in the bar. “What did I do to deserve to even look at you? You look beautiful. It kinda looks like the same dress you wore when I first met you.” He continued on. It was a steel blue dress this one was a bit shorter and lower cut, but it did look similar. “I want to look good for you.” I told him as I walked over and planted a kiss on his lips. “I gotta find you a ring somewhere quick.” I smiled at that. “You don’t have too.” I told him honestly. I didn’t need a ring. Or anything really, I just needed Bucky. I turned towards Steve who was awkwardly looking on. “Hi Steve. Thank you for letting me fight with you.” Steve put his hand up. “Are you kiddin’ the way you where fighting at that facility? I would be a fool to not let you come with us.” He explained. I was happy that they weren’t asking me a lot of questions about why exactly I was there and how I was even able to fight. But if they’re not asking, I’m not explaining. “Thank you either way, Steve.” 

Then in walks Peggy and you could almost hear his heart racing. “Come on, Buck.” I said as I took Bucky’s hand and guided him away from Steve and Peggy. “I still have my beer.” He said as he tried to reach for it but failed. “I’ll get you a new one.” I dragged him to the other side of the bar. “Can I get two beers.” I said to the bartender. As I turned around Bucky was smiling at me. “What?” I asked. “Nothing. I just still can’t believe you’re here.. Right in front of me!” Bucky said happily pulling me close to him. “You’re such a dork.” I giggled. “I’m your dork.” He answered back. It did feel so nice having him close again. Especially in his arms, it felt warm and safe and.. normal. I felt like I was human, like every moment counted. 

So I decided to take it in. I laid my head down on his shoulder. “I didn’t know how much I missed you and needed you until I saw you again.” I told Bucky. I put my hand on his chest and started playing with his dog tags. “I missed you too. I missed you so much.” And he put his arms around me a little tighter. I looked at the dog tags inspecting them. “James B Barnes, 32557038, T41 42 O.” Bucky snorted. “If you lose these? Will you just get new ones?” I asked him looking up. “Yew, why?” I stood up getting slightly out of his grip. “This will be my engagement ring. And if you still want to give me a ring, you can give me one when we are married after the war.” I told him as I took of his dog tags and put them on me. The bartender came and gave us our drinks. 

“You wanna wait until after still?” He asked. “Well.. It’s not like we’re saving ourselves. And I want to marry you when things are more normal and not rushed.” He nodded at that. “This war better be over soon.” He said as he got his beer holding it up. “To my fiancé.” I grabbed my beer. “To my fiancé.”

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