#bucky barnes angst
Update! - Love & Other Desires
So, I’ve decided to update the day of upload for each chapter to Wednesday coz Saturday is like super inconvenient. It’s the weekend, I’m lazy🤷🏽♀️ and I have class to prepare for and it’s just a super lazy and busy day. I will still be writing requests along with the series and next month, imma have a surprise for you lovely people, so stay tuned!!!!🌸🤌🏽✨
The main Masterlist for this series is here
*not my gif, credits to the owner*
@julyvegan @tenaciousperfectionunknown@mysweetlittledesire @bbl32 @spookyparadisesheep@noshame-bb @cece5 @hart-failure @sohoseb
You can find my works on my Main Masterlist here.
If you wanna be tagged in my works, lemme know here.
Luv Note (Bucky x reader)
Based on the song Luv Note by chloe moriondo
Bucky x fem!reader
Description - Bucky recently broke up with y/n. It was because he didn't want her to get hurt but she didn't believe that. Instead she felt that she must have just not been good enough. And in her self doubt, she felt like she understood.
Warning - ANGST! Not even good angst and it has no reason, it is just sad for the sake of being sad. Someone help. Also tw!! Self doubt and bad self talk are in this, don't read if that is triggering for you! If you are struggling with depression reach out to someone! Or me! My messages are always open!
Word count - about 1000
Sleeping has never been so easy
Though I'll still toss and twitch my feet
You occupy every one of my dreams
Makes closing my eyes easier than it seems
She got ready for bed, a frown on her face as she saw Bucky's toothbrush next to the sink. It had been a week but she hadn't had the heart to move it in case he came back. She already knew that wouldn't happen though. Why would he come back when he didn't want her any more. Instead she got into her bed, under her covers and hoped that in her dreams she would see him again and he would love her like she thought he did.
And if it seems you don't feel the same
That's alright with me
I understand with me isn't quite the best place to be
She made her way to the coffee shop, already correcting herself so she didn't order 2 coffees instead of one. She hadn't been back here since the breakup. It felt like too much of their spot. She froze when she saw him. He was standing waiting for an order and looking at his phone, he didn't look up as she turned and sprinted out of that part of the city. How had he looked so unbothered. So okay. She felt tears well up at the thought but she knew how. He just was over her. She hadn't meant enough to him for him to be upset. She understood, she would have broken up with herself too if she could.
But your smile reminds me of a place that I can't put my finger on so
Just say the word and I'm gone
She saw him again on the metro. He was holding on to the stability pole with his gloved hand and she wished she could say hello. It had been almost 2 weeks and while she wished desperately for him to love her, she debated trying to get him to just be her friend. That any contact was better than none. Just as she was thinking it he looked up and saw her. He made she contact and y/n felt herself blush out of embarrassment under his gaze. Before she could look away she saw him smile at her. It was a sad smile but just that look alone reminded her that she would do anything for him. Including not being in his life. That's what he wanted, she thought, as she rushed off the train. Bucky looked after her with regret
I linger on all the things that you've said to me
Always wanna be your flower
I wanna make you feel real easy
I wanna hear you talk for hours
Y/N thought back to all of the time she spent with Bucky when he couldn't sleep. That was when they talked the most. During the day he didn't like to show public affection but at night, in the privacy of their own room, he constantly had his hands on her. She loved how he spoke. It was deliberate and honest. He often talked about their future together. How he would want their wedding to go or how their home would look. She could have listened to talk about that stuff all night long. Sometimes she did. She couldn't help but long to be back in his arms on one of those nights where he could lie to her and tell her he loved her more than life itself. She didn't care how much it would hurt the next day.
And baby love, if it's bad
If it's not what you'd hoped for
You can always take it back
She wished he would call. She would have picked up in a second. She wished he would show up at her door and have flowers and then confess that he made a mistake. That he wanted her back. She knew better though. Bucky was never one to make rash decisions. Not when it came to her. She knew he had to have thought about it for a while before he broke up with her. She still wished he knew that she would take him back in an instant.
I'd give you what I can afford
'Cause everything you do I adore
So maybe you could let me hold your hand real tight
And tell you why the sea reminds me of you
Bucky sat in his bed in his room. He had locked himself in there days ago. It had been 3 weeks, almost a month, since it happened. And then just a week ago he saw you on the train. He almost called out to you. He hated riding the train by himself. He felt like he was being watched. Instead he just looked at you and he smiled. You turned and ran. That's what he had done to you. He felt another wave of pain rush over him as he thought of all of things that she did that he loved and how he had to protect those things. He had to protect her. Even if it killed him to never talk to you again.
And then sleeping has never been so easy
Though I wish that you could be near
It feels like I've fallen for you completely
Maybe it's best that you can't be here
They both fell asleep that night thinking of the other person. Wondering why he had done what he did. Still, he knew if he saw her again he would probably break down and beg her to take him back. But he couldn't. He had to stay away, even though it hurt. He fell asleep without nightmares that night, he felt like he was already living one.
22 notes · View notes
a/n: this one is so bad i’m sorry LMAO and sorry it’s a short one
summary|| bucky is your roommate and hes notices how stressed you’ve been with work and your studies..
pairing|| roommate!bucky x reader
warnings|| unprotected sex, degradation kink, squirting, angst, language, kissing, fingering, praise kink, smut 18+ MINORS DNI
the low rumble of buckys bike downstairs makes you look up from your studies. you look down at your clothes and sigh. wearing a blue tank top, no bra, and pajama shorts was not how you wanted buck too see you. you’ve been so focused on school and college, you’ve been stuck in your condo for weeks working yourself out.
before you get up the door to your apartment is being unlocked. “y/n, i’m back!” he yells and turns to set his keys on the counter. you begin to scurry off before he sees you. “you’re not gonna talk to me. ‘m hurt doll.”
you turn around slowly and cross your arms over your chest, “hi buck.” you mutter with a small smile. “how was the meeting with sam?”
“fine, you okay?” he ask while sitting and patting the spot next too him. you slowly walk over and grab the blanket that was covering your legs earlier; wrapping it around yourself. “i’m fine, just cold.” you say quietly and sit next too him.
he looks down, seeing your nipple through your tank and instantly growing hard. “do you ever stop studying?” he ask and chuckles lowly; moving your books aside.
“i do,” you begin and he raises an eyebrow, “but i need to focus on my work.”
“are you not stressed?” he ask
“no.” you lie and he rolls his eyes, “what buck?” he’s never rolled his eyes at you before. this causes an awkward shield between you too that you wish you could break.
“don’t lie too me.” he mutters and you pull the blanket around yourself a bit more. “you need to relieve your stress. have fun.” your friendship with bucky has been rocky lately. he’s so used too you partying with home every weekend but now you have to study 24/7 and he’s tired of it.
“and how the fuck can i do that?” you snap and his eyes darken. “if i had a way i would’ve done it buck. nothing can be fun for me anymore. i want too do good and you know that so stop.” you say and he can hear you voice break.
his hand lands on your thigh, and the angle he’s sitting; you can see his hard-on. when you notice your panties become wet and soak through your tiny pajama shorts. buck notices very quickly and you get embarrassed.
“come here.” he mumbles lowly and you sit up a big scooting closer too him. rolling his eyes again, he pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. the blanket you had wrapped around yourself is now next too you, you reach for it but he smacks your hand away, “no.”
you go to reach for it again and he grabs your wrist, “don’t test me angel.” he mumbles. before you realize it, his lips are on yours. his tongue slips into your mouth and the kisses are needy.
his hands palm your butt and pull you closer too him. you hands are traveling down his torso, to the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. his thumb shook onto the waistband of your shorts and he pulls them down.
when he sees your lacy dark red thong, he looks up at you and smiles, “all for me?” he ask and before you can answer, his thumb began rubbing slow circles over your clit.
a moan gets caught in your throat and your breathing becomes heavy. his lips meet yours again and he flips you on the couch; laying over you. “god you’re so hot baby.” he mutters
his circles begin to become messy and faster. your moans finally break through your throat and they are loud. “i’m gonna cum.” you moaned and he chuckled
two of his fingers slip into you and your orgasm hits. your eyes shut and you hear an unfamiliar nose. when your release-high goes away, you open your eyes and buckys face and shirt are soaking wet.
“damn angel, did you know you could squirt?” he ask and embarrassment washes over you. “i’m s-“ you begin but bucky slaps your thigh.
“don’t fucking apologize, that was hot.” he mutters and your embarrassment washes away. “i’m not done with you yet.” he commented. his eyes darken again and he flips you on your your stomach, yanking your underwear off.
the cool sir on your slit is a different type of sensation that causes you too whimper, and buck notices, “awh, you pretty slut. always so needy.” he mumbles and you hear his belt being undone.
you turn around as he strokes his dick and notice his big it is. the biggest you’ve seen and the biggest you’ll probably have. “that’s not gonna fit.” you stutter and he chuckles lowly.
“it will.” he confirms before sliding it in. you feel yourself stretch around him in a way you never have before. “shit.” he whispers under his breath.
both of your moans and groans filled your apartment. you felt your second orgasm coming and bucky knew it. he pulled you up by the neck and kissed your cheek; pumping even faster.
“you drive me crazy.” he says and you second release hits. causing you to squeeze around him and he thrust became sloppy. “baby, you’re squeezin’ me so well.”
the overstimulate felt amazing and buckys release was coming. he began kissing your neck and pumping into you slowly. “you drive me crazy. i’ve wanted this for so long..” he whispers in your ear and cums in you. you quickly remind yourself to take the morning after pill.
you both fall back onto the couch and begin to catch your breaths. “did you mean it?” you whisper as buckys breathing slows.
“yes, every bit of it.” he exclaimed and smiles softly, “stress reliever?” he questions and you sit up slowly grabbing your underwear.
67 notes · View notes
forever too late
summary: a fight goes wrong, and the reader is there for bucky.
pairing: bucky x reader
word count: 517 words
warnings: major character death, blood, cussing, everything is lowercase
a/n: ;) @hellotvshowtrash this is what i was talking about
blood dribbled down his chin. it had stained his white teeth pink as he smiled up at you. “[your name]...”
you got to your knees beside of him, pressing a hand to the wound on his stomach. you looked up at him, disbelief written on your face. “what the fuck, bucky? what the hell? why didn’t you wait for someone? why didn’t—”
“—just listen to me,” he coughed, attempting to move to a more comfortable position. “i don’t... i don’t know if i’m gonna make it.”
“stop it,” you frowned. “you will. don’t talk like that.”
“yeah, yeah, doll, but if i don’t,” he groaned as you pressed harder on his bloody wound. it seemed like the blood just wouldn’t stop. worry creased your forehead as you looked back up at the super soldier.
“please don’t say that,” you looked up at him, biting your lip. “please.”
he chuckled softly, wincing as he did so. “just listen to me, doll. i just needed to tell you this. i’ve... i’ve been meaning to say something for a while now.”
you looked around as you listened to him, hoping that someone would come and help you. but it seemed as if everyone was in their own little battle, completely ignoring those around them. even those who were bleeding out from a wound that seemed superficial until you got up close.
“look at me, please,” bucky said, frowning. you quickly turned your gaze back to his. “it’s you.”
“it’s always been you, doll,” he weakly smiled up at you. “you were the girl i always talked about. the one i wanted to ask out, the one i wanted to... well, spend my life with...”
“bucky,” you started. “what are you talking about?”
“i love you, [your name]...”
“bucky,” you said, a warning tone in your voice. you couldn’t believe what he was saying. you loved him back. but he was going to make it. he had to make it.
“i just needed you to know, doll.”
“you’re being ridiculous. you’re going to be fine,” you said, looking towards some of the others. steve had finally gotten away from his fight and took off in your direction. you kept your hand over his wound, and for a moment, you believed that he was fine.
bucky took in a sharp breath, and then he was silent.
your heart fell to your stomach. turning to look at the man, you could feel your body growing cold.
“bucky?” your voice shook. “bucky, oh my god,” you moved your hands. despite the blood that covered them, you cupped his cheeks and gently shook him. you knew it wouldn’t do anything—but you could hope. “oh my god, no, bucky, please!”
steve came to your side, anger and sadness overtaking his features. he bent down beside of you, placing a hand on your shoulder. you didn’t push him away, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks. this wasn’t fair—he was supposed to be okay. he was going to be fine.
letting out a sob, you pressed a kiss to his lips. the words left your mouth far too late. he would never hear them, now. “i love you, too, bucky...”
48 notes · View notes
Blissful Ignorance (3)
1 2 3 4 5 6
Summary - One day, you notice you *sometimes* can't control yourself and your movements. You then come to find out you're a side character in an action movie. Well, at least you have Bucky Barnes to keep you company.
Notes - HEAVILY BASED ON KDRAMA EXTRAORDINARY YOU, some filler not even gonna lie, star wars references, cursing, fighting we will see
Pairing - Eventual Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count - 1,516 words
... ... ...
"You don't get it."
"But I do!"
"No, Bucky. She's right."
"Bucky, look me in the eyes and say it again."
"The Star Wars prequels are pretty good!" You and Peter groaned in unison. Today, Peter was visiting for the weekend since he had a few extra days off of school. The three of you decided to spend it watching all of Star Wars and it wasn't going too well, to say the least.
"But Obi-Wan is so cool!" Bucky argued. Peter dropped his head. "Yeah, but that doesn't make up for the fact that the prequels are extremely boring!" Peter argued. You nodded in agreement. Bucky looked at you, offended.
"I thought you'd be on my side, doll!" You shook your head at him. "Nuh-uh! No pet names!" You pointed at him. Tony burst through the door as the three of you continued arguing.
"Hey! You stole my guy!" Tony exclaimed. You smiled sheepishly. You looked at Peter and motioned for him to go with Tony. He nodded and got up and left after waving goodbye to you and Bucky.
You and Bucky began to clean up and started doing the dishes, him rinsing and you drying. A comfortable silence fell over you two as a familiar routine took place.
"Do you ever wish you weren't aware?" Bucky asked, handing you a dripping plate. You grabbed it from him. "It depends... I've had fun. Having all this free time and learning more about you... But I feel like if I wasn't aware I would probably be much better off." You explained. Bucky nodded slowly.
"Sorta like the less you know the better?" Bucky asked. You nodded. "Like blissful ignorance." You both began to fall into an easier topic, not one so heavy.
In the hallway leading to the kitchen, Nat stood, eavesdropping on your domestic conversation. You both sounded like an old couple whose love hasn't dissipated in the 50 years you've been together. She could even hear you hit him when he made a comment that probably made you blush.
Jealousy filled Nat. But not the angry kind. The sad kind. The kind of jealousy you feel when you see someone have something you couldn't, no matter how hard you tried. Yeah, she and Bucky had 'something' during her Red Room days, but it couldn't compare to what you have with Bucky now. Natasha sighed.
Natasha walked into the kitchen as Bucky lightly sprinkled water onto you and she smiled sadly at the interaction. She wanted nothing more than this, a domestic life.
But she felt as if she didn't deserve it.
"Nat? You okay?" You asked, wiping off the water on your forehead. Natasha plastered on a smile. "Yeah, sorry. Blanked out for a sec." You nodded and put the last dish away.
"Buck and I made some sandwiches, I made your favorite. It's in the fridge." You smiled at her, patting her back. "If you guys need me, I'll be in the gym." Natasha and Bucky were left in the kitchen alone. Bucky took one look at Natasha before curtly leaving.
"Bucky wait-" Natasha said just before he reached the hallway. "I... I wanted to apologize for what I said that night. You were right... It wasn't my place to corner you. I was stressed and frankly, jealous." Bucky's eyes were trained at the ground. When he was sure she was done, he nodded at her and left.
As soon as the elevator doors closed on Bucky, red lights began blaring. Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
Before he knew it, Bucky was prying the elevator doors open. He wasn't far from the floor above him and sighed. He began to climb to the top of the elevator and found a ladder. When he stepped onto the next floor, all he saw was smoke and a seemingly empty hallway. Until a silhouette appeared in the smoke.
"Hello?" Bucky's voice echoed down the hallway. The closer they both got, the figure became clearer in the smoke. It felt like someone punched Bucky in the gut.
"Violet?" She smirked. Just like Natasha, Bucky was stuck in his spot. She walked over to him and pulled her handheld knife out of her holster.
"It's been a while hasn't it, Soldat?" She dragged the knife over his neck ever so softly. "T-That's not who I am anymore." Bucky stuttered out. She smiled and narrowed her eyes. "Sure it isn't."
"Get away from him!" Your voice echoed through the hallway, a knife careening out of the smoke. Before Violet knew it, the knife grazed her cheek, blood beginning to drip. When you appeared out of the smoke Violet raised a brow.
"You again." Bucky's eyes shot to you. "Later." You dismissed him. Violet grabbed her staff while you were distracted and struck you in the back. Groaning you turned around and began to block her attacks. You missed one of her blows and landed on the floor, she straddled your waist and began to strangle you. You quickly began seeing black spots as you tried desperately to gasp for air but failed miserably. Before you could pass out, Bucky tackled her off of you.
He took both of her wrists in his hand behind her, apprehending her, as you caught your breath. Violet ripped her hands out of his grip and punched Bucky in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. She tried to uppercut him but he stopped her, catching his breath.
"What do you want from us?" Bucky huffed. Violet raised a brow and laughed humorlessly. She escaped Bucky's hold, grabbing another knife, and held it dangerously close to his throat. "You took my home. My family. And now I'm on my own again. And you ask me what I want?" She began to lunge into cutting his throat, but you cocked a gun behind her.
"Don't make me do this, Violet." Your voice was hoarse. Violet's eyes didn't leave Bucky's. She raised her hands and dropped the knife next to her before finally turning to face you. SHIELD agents appeared from the smoke and apprehended her.
"It's always a pleasure sparring, Y/N." Violet smirked. Your eyes widened. How did she know your name? The agents then began to take Violet back to her holding cell.
You and Bucky simultaneously sighed.
You both began walking to Bucky's room in silence. So much happened in such little time that you both could barely comprehend it. When you finally got to his floor you went straight to his couch and flopped down. Your throat was raw and sore and your body ached. Bucky briefly left you and you felt yourself dosing off.
"Hey, hey. Get up, I gotta patch you up." Bucky spoke softly. You inhaled deeply before sitting up. Bucky noticed your throat was already bruising, a slight yellow tinge to your smooth skin.
"Is it bad?" Your voice was so hoarse it was basically a whisper. Bucky began to softly graze your throat. As intimate as the touch was, it felt like he was digging a knife into your throat. "Yeah. Pretty bad." Bucky whispered, tilting his head. He then began to clean the cuts along your arms and cheeks.
"Is now a good time to ask how you know Nakamoto?" Bucky asked. You looked down at your lap. "Yeah. I guess," You took a deep breath.
"A few days ago, Nat and I were working out in the gym and she appeared out of nowhere. She lunged at us, but Natasha was too shocked to do anything so I fought her off." You could tell Bucky was trying to keep his anger at bay. "A few days ago? Why-" You held up a finger.
"I'm not finished. Natasha explained most of her backstory to me and Sam after and asked us not to tell you about her." Bucky stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What did you guys think was gonna happen? That I would just never find out about it?" Bucky asked, his voice rising. You stood and tried to reason with him, "Bucky-"
"No, Y/N, Violet fucking Nakamoto has been in the compound for days and you all thought it was a good idea to keep it from me?!" Bucky cut you off.
"Bucky, we don't know anything about Violet. We were just following what Natasha said because she seems to know her best-"
"Know her best?! Y/N, she left us there. Violet and I were stuck in the red room for 5 more years after she escaped without us. I've learned things about Violet that I don't even think she knows." His booming voice contrasted your small, hoarse one.
"Bucky, I'm sorry I just-" Bucky began to laugh.
"You're sorry! What do you expect me to say, 'Oh, it's okay, now lets go back to icing your strangle bruise on your throat!'. Y/N, this all could've been avoided if you had just told me!" Bucky rubbed his face and sat down.
"Just... Just get out." Bucky softly muttered. You stormed out of his living room, the gliding elevator doors louder than ever.
... ... ...
definitely didn’t forget to update this series until @aquabrie reblogged it 😅
8 notes · View notes
ON THE BALCONY
Summary: Sam invites Bucky over to stay.
Warnings: Fluff, comfort, lots of feelings
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader (Platonic)
Word Count: 2.6k
“Don’t be mad at me...” Sam muttered while doing the dishes after lunch. “That sounds like something you’d say before I’m about to get mad at you” You chuckle while scrolling on your phone.
“I have a friend... he needs a place to stay for a while” Sam replies while finishing off the last plate. “Please don’t tell me it is who I think it is” You reply sternly while turning off your phone, making eye contact with Sam.
“I’m sorry...” he replies, barely above a whisper. “Why does he have to come here Sam? Can’t he stay at a hotel or something?” You whine in response, resting your head on the table.
“I’d feel better if he came here... he needs someone to look after him you know? He’s healing” Sam replies, resting his head on the table across from you “Do you think you can put aside your differences? Just this once? It’ll only be for a little while” he continues to plead.
“How long is a little while?” You reply muffled from your head resting on the table. “I’m not sure yet if I’m going to be completely honest” Sam replies hesitantly.
“Fine...” you whine out. Sam quickly lifts his head from the table in happiness. “Thank you,” he smiles. “Yeah, yeah, you’re lucky I love you” You smile back
Sam gets up from the table and plops down on the living room couch, turning on the TV to watch whatever’s playing. “Whatever happened between you two anyway?” Sam yells from his place on the couch.
You sigh, getting up from the table to join him on the couch. “Nothing specifically happened, ever since we met he’s just been kind of cold towards me. I always assumed it was because he hated me so I was just cold in return” You reply while playing with the hem of your t-shirt.
“Maybe you misunderstood, maybe he doesn’t hate you” Sam chuckles. “Well if he didn’t then, he definitely does now” You reply while resting your head on Sam’s shoulder.
“Think on the bright side, maybe this time together will allow you to fix it, make things better” Sam sighs. “Maybe you’re right, but I doubt he’s interested in fixing anything” You mumble before turning up the TV volume to watch the movie.
“He’s here!” Sam yells through the apartment, catching your attention through your closed bedroom door. You hear the door open and a muffled conversation between the two men. “Y/N!” Sam yells again, hinting for you to come out and say hi.
You quickly stand up from your bed and rush over to your bedroom door, throwing your phone onto the bed behind you before opening the door. Once you step out into the hallway you’re greeted by Sam wearing a huge smile. “Be nice” Sam mouths to you before walking back out into the living room.
Once you join them in the living room Bucky can be seen sitting on the couch with Sam beside him, Sam telling him a story about god knows what while Bucky just nods and listens. “Hey Bucky” You mutter, standing behind Sam.
“Hey” he sternly replies back. Sam nudges him and Bucky gives him an annoyed look. “Thanks for agreeing to let me stay here for a while” Bucky mutters again as Sam grins at the civil statement. “It’s no problem” You reply before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water.
“Hey Y/N!” Sam yells from the living room. “Yeah?” You shout back. “Would you be up for a movie night tonight? I rented that new Denzel Washington movie we wanted to watch” Sam replies in an excited tone. You walk back out into the living room, leaning on the wall before replying to Sam.
“Why do I feel like I don’t have a choice?” You chuckle lightly. Bucky looks you up and down with narrow eyes before turning back to Sam and nodding when he asks if he’s in. “You guys up to start the movie around 8?” Sam smiles. “Yeah, I’ll join you guys then” You smile before heading back into your room and flopping down onto the bed.
Once 8 o’clock rolled around you sighed and rolled out of bed, walking over to your dresser to pick a good outfit to lounge around in. You pulled out a loose pair of shorts and a not-so-form-fitting t-shirt to keep it comfortable. Once you finish pulling your shirt on, Sam knocks lightly on your bedroom door. “Hey, It’s me” he calls out.
“You can come in” You respond lightly. Sam smiles as he peaks his head in to check on you. “You coming out?” He smiles. “Yeah, I was just changing into something more comfortable” You smile back. You head towards the door walking out with Sam to join Bucky in the living room. He weakly smiles before turning his gaze back towards the TV.
“Should I make popcorn?” You ask Sam. “Well I don’t want any but Bucky might, why don’t you ask him?” Sam chuckles while nudging your shoulder. You sigh before looking over at Bucky, sitting on the couch. “Hey Bucky, you want popcorn?” You mumble. “Hm? Oh yeah sure” he mutters back without looking at you. You nod to yourself before heading back into the kitchen to make the popcorn.
Sam chuckles at your face when you re-enter the kitchen. “Progress” Sam chuckles. “He hates me” You sigh while grabbing the bag of popcorn from the cabinet. “He doesn’t hate you Y/N. He’s just quiet” Sam replies sympathetically. “Yeah.. quietly hating me” You chuckle. “You’ll warm up to each other, I know it” Sam smiles before walking back out to the living room.
You take a deep breath before joining the two back in the living room. Sam pats the spot beside him and you smile. You hand Bucky the bowl of popcorn and he simply nods in response, taking it from your hands. You turn off the light before plopping down next to Sam on the couch.
Sam’s breathing soon becomes deeper and you look over to see him asleep peacefully, head resting on the back of the couch. Bucky seems to also be asleep so you gently push yourself off the couch and tiptoe over to the balcony, pushing the glass door open and slowly closing it behind you to avoid waking Sam and Bucky.
You lean against the balcony railing and let out a deep sigh. A pressured feeling fills your chest and warm tears begin to fill your eyes, creeping down your cheeks leaving a chilling trail behind. Your breaths become more ragged and you use all your energy to keep your sobs silent in fear of waking the boys. You bring your hand to your cheek, wiping away the trails of tears that had fallen down your cheek.
“Why are you crying?” A voice asks from behind you. You snap your head around only to be met with his deep blue eyes. His hair was messy and he looked tired, skin flushed with a light pink almost like he was nervous. “I’m not” you mutter back. He slowly approaches you, leaning on the balcony railing beside you sighing as he looks out at the city.
“I wasn’t asleep, I saw you crying” he mutters back, keeping his gaze on the city in front of him. You let out a light gasp at his candour. “You were watching me?” You whisper, watching his side profile as he admires the city. “You seemed upset. I guess I was curious” he replies
Without a reply, you sigh and look back out to the city. He glances over at you with a sympathetic gaze. “So why are you crying?” He requested. You look back to him, meeting his gaze. Before you can look any longer he snaps his head back towards the city, avoiding eye contact.
“I guess I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t sleep and fresh air felt like the best remedy for both. It wasn’t” You reply honestly. “Why are yo-“ Bucky begins but is cut off by you. “Why do you hate me?” You blurt out. He looks over at you in pure confusion.
“Hate you?” He whispers. “Yeah. Why do you hate me? Did I do something? If I did, I’m sorry” you spit out, slightly rambling. “I don’t hate you Y/N” he sternly replies. You sigh and hold your head in your hands, massaging your temples in an attempt to relieve your stress.
“You’re stressing yourself out” he sternly sympathizes. “Yeah. I tend to do that a lot” you chuckle. He meets your gaze and you lightly smile at him. He tries to look away but can’t pull himself away from looking into your eyes. “Don’t smile at me like that” he mutters. Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion. “Like what?” You hesitantly ask. “I don’t deserve a smile like that” he replies in a whisper.
“Bucky…” you begin but he cuts you off. “Don’t. Don’t do that” he sternly replies, slightly raising his voice. “Don’t what? I want to help” you reply, mimicking his volume. “I can’t let you. I can’t accept your sympathy” Bucky mutters, slightly moving away from you. “But why?” You mutter back, voice slightly shaky.
“Because I don’t want to hurt you” he blurts out. “I have hurt so many people. More than you can count. Out of all the people in this world, you are one that I don’t want to hurt” he snapped. You look at him in pure confusion. All this time it always felt like Bucky hated you with every bone in his body.
His eyes soften when he sees your confusion and he lets out a sigh. “You really thought I hated you… didn’t you?” he sighs. “Well… yeah. How could I not think that?” You question softly. He sighs yet again and wipes his hand over his face before turning to you.
“I was afraid that if I let myself get close to you, that you would somehow get hurt. My best idea was to push you away and be distant, to keep you safe.” He stated. “After a while you became distant as well so I assumed that you hated me for what I was doing” he stammered.
“I just assumed you hated me, so I tried to grow cold towards you. It only became harder when you and Sam got closer.” You mutter in response. “When Sam told me you were coming to stay here I became worried because I thought you hated me and I would have to spend a bunch of time in my room so you and Sam could have your time together.” You gulp, replying honestly.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad. That was the opposite of what I wanted to do.” Bucky stammers, his face growing redder and eyes becoming glassy. He begins to stutter over his words and his voice becomes less clear. A single tear streams down his cheek as he tries to talk.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. Don’t push yourself. Take your time” you sympathize, keeping your voice as comforting as possible. “Is it okay if I touch you?” You ask gently, searching his eyes as you wait for an answer.
He nods as he presses his lips together, more warm tears staining his cheeks as you get closer. You gently rest your hand on his forearm and he sighs in relief at your touch. “I’m so sorry” he trembles.
“You don’t have to be. You were doing what you thought was best. Even though your plan was stupid.” You chuckle slightly, brushing your hand over his skin to comfort him. He chokes out a chuckle in response and nods. “You’re right… you’re always right” he replies.
You hesitantly bring your hand up to his face, wiping the tears that were staining his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry” you whisper. “I want to help Bucky. Do you want space?” You ask lightly. You slowly remove your hand from his arm, assuming he wants space. He quickly places his hand on top of yours, pressing it back into his skin. “Please, don’t leave me alone.” He stutters, voice filled with sadness and worry.
“Okay. Okay. I’m not going anywhere. Just take deep breaths with me.” You smile warmly. He sighs, keeping his hand pressed against yours, gently brushing his thumb back and forth against the back of your hand, taking in the softness of your skin. He follows your deep breaths as you comfort him with your touch. Once his breathing becomes regular and his eyes dry up slightly, he gently clears his throat breaking the silence that fills the air.
“I don’t want to do it anymore,” Bucky whispers. “Do what?” You ask gently. “I don’t want to spend any more time pushing you away.” He replies hesitantly. You smile at him once again, his eyes soften and his pupils dilate. “You don’t have to.” You smile back.
“Keep smiling at me like that.” He pleads, a smile creeping upon his lips. Your gaze fixates on his lips and he slightly leans closer. His eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips. “If I kiss you now… I will only want more.” He states in honesty. “I know that if I get the chance to kiss you once, It’ll make me want it for a lifetime.” He mutters.
A gust of wind swirls the air, rippling through the fabric of your clothing, sending a shiver down your spine. “Are you cold?” He asks gently. “Maybe a little, but I don’t wanna go anywhere. I wanna stay in this moment.” You stutter. He lightly chuckles at your honesty and smiles.
Bucky hesitantly lifts his metal arm, wrapping it around you, pulling you closer into his chest. You rest your head against the soft fabric of his shirt and listen to his steady heartbeat as he traces circles against your back. “Can I be honest with you?” He asks gently, the hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.
“Always” you reply softly. “You are the only person that I want to be close to” he states. Your heart fills with warmth as you pull your head from his chest, looking up into his eyes. “Really?” You ask in disbelief. “I could never lie to you” he chuckles.
You’re unable to fight the smile that creeps up on your face, your cheeks turning pink from his words. He smiles back at you as he lifts his arm, holding his hand under your chin and pulling you up to his lips. His scent wrapped itself around you filling your airway with the smell of cedarwood and eucalyptus. His lips were soft but the stubble on his face tickled your skin in the most perfect way. You pull away, admiring his face and he sighs at the loss of contact.
“Don’t pull away, not just yet” he smiles before pulling you in for another kiss. His lips are warm and when they’re entangled with yours, your entire body feels warm. You place your hand against his chest and he pulls away with a smile. He chuckles to himself when his eyes meet yours once again. “What’s so funny?” You smile.
“I was right. Now that I’ve done it once, I want it for a lifetime” he whispers against your skin. Chills shoot down your spine at his breath dancing on your skin. “Then for a lifetime it will be” you smile back.
131 notes · View notes
Hi! Do you think for maybe angst request (either full angst or angst to comfort) of Bucky ranting to someone (or Steve) that he actually is upset that Steve left him behind in end game, after they finally had each other back again?
This is a very short and rushed drabble but thank you so much for the request! I might attempt something similar to this again in the future
“He left, he just left me” Bucky had started to whisper to himself as the room went quiet, a fight having just broke out between him and Sam for reasons he refused to say until this moment it seems.
“What?” I ask, walking closer to him through the mess of broken furniture and ripped fabric.
“Steve left me” His voice cracked as he spoke up, bringing both of his hands up to his face covering the few fallen tears that he did not want to let escape.
As I sat next to him I could hear him trying to contain his cries, he continued to speak into his hands as if his words were a mantra in some attempt to keep himself from breaking down, yet it still didn’t seem to be working.
“Buck I-” I cut myself off as I reached over to him, my hand almost lying on his shoulder before he shot up in some sort of rage.
“Nobody gets it!” He yelled, more towards the wall than me. “I spent years trapped as some killer solider, and I finally get out. Years and years and I finally escape, free of everything only for him to fucking leave!” Before he even finished his words, he picked up the only non broken chair and hurled it towards the wall, all before completely shutting down.
He fell to the ground with a loud sob, his entire body started to shake as he curled into himself. Arms wrapped around himself as he just sat there, with tears falling down his face. Rather than going over to him I just sat there looking at him, letting him feel this anger, anger that is rightfully his. It took hours before he stood up, practically ignoring all his previous emotion before mumbling something about Sam then walking out, leaving me there to try and process everything.
11 notes · View notes
Golden Days | Ch.2
SUMMARY: Just before their next round of concerts, Sam goes home to visit Sarah and the kids. Bucky falls deeply in love with Sam. Some banter, inner conflict and kisses ensue.
READ HERE, FEEDBACK & REBLOGS PLEASE!
@honestlyfrance @xsleepylilgeekyx @siancore @stansamwilson @mariahthelioness29 @marvel-mushroom @artan @scoop93535 @diaphonus-charmolypi @calicofrank @the-cidem @themandelorians @teetles-and-other-stuff @cyberbirdperson-blog @intergalaticwarriored @tookmetonscar @sambambucky @lintisinfeels @renfri-lives @1cutiiepie @nilesfreeman @xxcarmensheltonxx @psychenby @sirigirl96 @rainbowskullsandcoffee @tinydramatist @samthomaswilson @winterscones @aieshawilliams2001 @mannarn @sparrows-corner @missinwrld @slayerace @capwilsons
7 notes · View notes
Come undone for me
Summary: You make Bucky feel good after a long day.
Pairing: switch!Bucky Barnes X switch!fem!Reader
Warnings: Oral sex(male receiving), deep throating, teasing, smut
this gif does not belong to me
As Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, you raced over to him and straddled his lap.
There was stress written all over his face and body.
His shaky breaths fanned across your bare shoulder as you tenderly bit and kissed his neck. His hands rested on your hips as you continued to leave hickeys scattered around his neck.
You pulled away for a moment and met his bright blue eyes.
He looked at you nervously as you started to sit on your knees in front of him.
You ran your hands along his thick thighs as you began to speak. “May I? I won’t do this if you don’t want me to.” you asked.
A lustful look took over his eyes as he looked down at you and gave you a weak nod of approval.
“Please, I need your mouth around me now.” he begged you.
You smirked as you looked down again and saw that his cock was already hard, just for you.
“I just wanna make you feel good. Just relax for me, alright?” you said, your hands trailing up to the waistband of his shorts.
He nodded again as his eyes stayed glued to what you were doing.
You slowly pulled his shorts down along with his boxers and hungrily watched as his cock sprung out of the fabric.
Your mouth subtly watered at the sight of it.
You softly bit your bottom lip then licked both of your lips before you started to please him. And you didn’t intend on wasting anytime, you were going to take your time with him.
You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock. As you did this, his hand went to the back of your head as he let his own head fall back.
His quiet moans filled your ears.
Your hands shifted to the base of his cock as you began to bob your head up and down on it.
You looked so hot with him stuffed in your mouth and Bucky truly couldn’t get ever over how good you felt around him. He then quickly decided to indulge his desires.
So, he dug his fingers into your hair and grabbed a hand full of it. He yanked and tugged on your hair as you continued to suck his dick.
But you really made him come undone when you began to run your tongue from the base of his cock to the head.
Over and over and over again.
He groaned as he forced more of his dick down your throat. You gagged for a quick few seconds as his cock hit the back of your throat.
Bucky could feel himself getting closer to his release.
It was quickly becoming hard for him to hold his orgasm back and he desperately wanted to shoot his load down your throat. ￼
You pulled his cock out of your mouth for a few minutes as you caught your breath.
However, your hands still never left his cock.
He gently smirked as looked down and saw you teasingly stoking his cock. He adored how big his cock looked in your hands.
You quickly said one more thing to him before your mouth and lips met his cock yet again, “Come undone for me baby. I know you want to.” you simply said as you looked up at him with dark eyes.
He collapsed back onto his bed as you began to deep throat his cock once more.
Everything you did just made him feel so good and he never wanted your mouth to leave his cock.
His vision went white as he came and shot his load down your throat, just like he wanted to.
You removed your mouth from his dick and wiped your mouth as you sat on your heels. You bounced your tits in front of his knees as you swallowed his seed. ￼
He tucked himself back into his shorts as you kept swallowing.
He couldn’t wait any longer, it was now his turn to make you feel good.
He snaked his metal arm down your back and slowly removed your grey tank top. That lustful look took over his eyes again as he saw that you were wearing nothing under this tank top.
A warmth pooled in your stomach and your folds grew wetter as he beckoned you up to his lap again and you straddled his lap.
He firmly squeezed your butt in his hands. Him doing this, made you moan in his ear and his cock quickly became hard once again. You shuddered as you felt his cock press up against your entrance.
He began to hungrily kiss your lips as you attempted to fish his cock out of his shorts yet again. He stopped kissing you and made a ‘tsk’ noise as he swatted your hand away.
“Not yet, doll. Be patient.” he whispered in your ear.
These whispers caused goosebumps to appear all over your body.
You knew that Bucky liked to take his time with you and you didn’t know long you would be able to last until you were begging him to fuck you.
But you promised yourself that you’d try to be patient. After all, you always took your time with him as well.
Plus, you did want to be his good girl.
You’d do anything to make him reward you, even if that meant waiting for a little while until he was ready to fuck you.
smut marvel tag list: @dilanajx @lil-stark
permanent tag list: ￼ @lil-stark @weenersoldierr @dilanajx
i hope you guys like this! while writing this i listened to Heaven by The Neighbourhood. and as always my inbox is open for requests. :))
Join (or leave) my tag list here!
89 notes · View notes
Hey! Can you make a drabble about a dark! Bucky Barnes that takes reader back after she tries to leave? Thank you! <3
━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━
Hey! Sure honey. I also wanted to thank ya'll for the appreciation of the new serie! I promise tomorrow there will be an update. It should have been tonight, but things didn't really work out for me today. I'm sorry about it. xx
Anyways, I hope you will like this! Please feel free to comment, reblog or like, I truly appreciate every feedback! Thank you, enjoy. <3
Warnings: non-con (implied), precedent traumas, swearing, violence. Only +18.
━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━
You were a mess when he finally managed to get you back inside the cabin. You could feel despair seeping from every pore of your skin as you tried not to mind his grunts and heavy breathing that weighed down on you by the second. It all started... when? You did not remember, you had lost the conception of time. No, this man had made you lose your conception of time.
You grunted in pain at his tight grip on your hair, still caked with blood and grime. It had been a long struggle for you, maybe just a nuisance for him. It had taken you months, fucking months to gain his trust. And when he was angry you had to use your body to be able to look like the sweet woman he wanted you to be. The sweet wife. But Bucky Barnes had to keep up to date, he had to understand that women were more than containers. He never did, not in your head.
Yet he always told you how he loved you, how he adored your personality, how he brought it back to his time. When women were respectable, he said. Psycho asshole.
You had your chance, thought out and planned down to the smallest detail: yet something had gone wrong. Bucky thought, after months of "breeding" that he had you in hand, that he could trust his future wife. It wasn't like that: the fire of hope still burned within you. And so when he gave you his usual hungry, passionate kiss before leaving, you waited an hour. You were nervous when you finally got through the door after you worked so hard to find a way not to mess up your escape.
You didn't expect him to come back though, no. Probably not even two hours had passed, you didn't even know why he was back in front of the cabin surrounded by trees and vegetation. You just knew you had to run. You had no excuses, you knew you could not be saved: if you had to fight, you preferred to do it with courage and with the dignity you had left.
But after a short run and a struggle through the sharp branches and the mud, you thought it might not hurt to try to save you. He kept dragging you by the hair inside the tiny house, bumping into you. The house was lovely, the furniture perfectly furnished old-fashioned: you were ironically thinking how little it suited your worn, muddy pale pink dress.
"What did I do, mh? What?" he barked at you, slamming the front door violently and then approaching dangerously. His boots made a tremendous noise and went almost to the rhythm of your heart, which you felt was about to burst.
You just whimpered, knowing you had no escape at all. He did not accept that silence and lifted you like a feather, almost throwing you on the kitchen counter. You screamed trying to remove his hands from your sore, scratched shoulders.
"Bucky, please! I'm sorry!" you screamed desperately, trying to calm him down. When you were overly desperate, he strangely he would calm down and then disappear for hours and hours. This time it wasn't your lucky day.
"Oh, you're sorry!? Little bitch, I protected you! I love you! And you try to run away from me!?... Tell me, am I so awful?" his screams turned into a short, cold, stiff question as his gorgeous blue eyes stared straight into your irises. Was he testing you?
You looked at him in terror, observing how dangerously close he was. Your body shuddered at the memory of all the trauma it caused.
"No." you whispered faintly, trying to make yourself as small as possible.
"Yet you tried to escape." he glared at you, but there was a new, dangerous glint in his eyes. Bucky was unpredictable and you knew he was thinking of something.
"I don't know what... got into me." you didn't really know what to say, other than a simple lie that could certainly be more credible than others.
He watched you silently, loosening his grip on his shoulders. He looked you straight in the eye, then peering at your split lips from his previous slap. He came up to kiss her gently as his right hand traveled through your knotted hair. The kiss was soft, nothing to do with the man you've always had to deal with.
You wanted to answer, calm him down, but you stiffened. This was beyond the Bucky you knew, and you learned that his unpredictability was never a good sign. So this completely foreign behavior must have meant hell for you. Unfortunately, you were rarely wrong.
His right hand immediately slid straight to your neck, then squeezed it. You coughed desperately, trying to gather oxygen as your eyes looked at his, filled with tears. "B-Bucky-" you tried to beg him.
"It's okay. You didn't know what to do, did you? Okay love, I'll just have to teach you. It will be a simple lesson..." he muttered sadistically, showing you a devilish smile as his free hand left your shoulder and slid down your neckline .
You shivered with fear, desperately trying to free yourself. A slap was your reward for that desperate attempt.
"You knew exactly what you were doing, bitch." she whispered venomously in your ear.
"And I know what I'm going to do now. And believe me, you'll feel every single second imprinted on your skin forever."
53 notes · View notes
Her secret part 13
Mob!bucky x reader
TW- angst, nightmares, PTSD, therapy, allusion to eating disorders, mentions of past cheating and trauma.
“Mr. Barnes gave me a brief outline of what’s happened to you.” Sarah, your new therapist said “first I want to say how sorry I am that you had to go through those things, I can only imagine how horrible that must have been for you.”
You didn’t respond, looking down at your hands instead. This was your first session, you were reluctant to open up; unsure if it would help at all.
“Why don’t we start with how you’re feeling today Y/N?” Sarah spoke up again after you didn’t respond.
“I’m okay.” You said quietly.
“That’s good.” If she could tell you were lying she didn’t show it “and I understand you’ve been having nightmares?”
“Sometimes.” You shrugged.
“Can you tell me about them?” She asked.
“I...I don’t want to talk about them.” You shook your head.
“That’s okay.” She said kindly “I understand how difficult this process is going to be for you, and we don’t have to discuss anything until you’re ready.”
“Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper.
“Id like to share some of my thoughts with you if that’s okay Y/N.” She said “I specialise in PTSD and trauma recovery, and I want you to know that your reaction to what happened is completely normal. Many people feel confused and scared after such experiences, and it makes them reluctant to discuss what happened. There is no right or wrong way to react to trauma, and everything you’re feeling is perfectly valid.”
You didn’t speak much for the rest of the session, squeaking out one word answers when required and barely looking up from your hands. If anything it’d made you feel worse.
“How did it go?” Bucky asked hopefully when he saw you entering the kitchen.
“Fine.” You said softly as you reached for a bottle of water.
“Do you feel better?” Bucky asked.
“Not really.” You responded honestly “if anything I feel worse.”
“We can find another therapist if you’d like?” Bucky suggested.
“No...I liked her, she was nice.” You explained “she’s not the problem...I am.”
“You’re not the problem sweetheart.” Bucky said softly “you’re healing, it’s going to take time.”
“I suppose so.” You shrugged.
“How’s your wrist?” Bucky asked.
“Hurting a little, Bruce said the cast needs to stay on for another 6 weeks...so you’re stuck with me for a bit longer I’m afraid.” You laughed softly.
“Wouldn’t want you anywhere else but here with me.” Bucky smiled “don’t know what I’ll do when you leave.”
“I have to do this James, I have to keep me and Tommy safe.” You sighed “please don’t make me feel guilty.”
“I’m sorry doll.” Bucky said softly “That’s now my intention...I just love you both so much, it’ll be weird not having you around all the time.”
“You can still see Tommy.” You said quietly.
“And you?” He quipped an eyebrow “will I get to see you?”
“I...I think it’s best if we only see eachother if it involves our son.” You swallowed the lump in your throat “we both still have feelings for eachother...so there’s no point prolonging the heartbreak by trying to be friends.”
“I still want to be friends Y/N.” Bucky said after a slight pause “I don’t want to lose you completely.”
“Do you really think we could just be friends Buck?” Your voice was soft “could you really do that?”
“I’ll learn to be friends angel.” Bucky was pleading “I need us to still be friends.”
“I can’t keep having this conversation James!” You raised your voice slightly “I’m hurting, I’m so fucking scared and I can’t be thinking about us right now! I just need you to leave me alone!”
You regretted the harshness of your words the second they’d left your mouth, but instead of apologising you turned and walked out the kitchen; leaving Bucky holding back tears.
You woke again in the early hours of the morning after another nightmare, you refused to give in and go into Bucky’s room; you had to get used to coping without him.
You didn’t get more than a few hours sleep that night, and instead paced your room until it was an acceptable time to go and make breakfast for your son.
You were drained, you were still in physical pain; you hadn’t been taking your painkillers. You couldn’t remember the last time you showered, you were shutting down; not taking care of yourself.
You barely spoke, doing your best to keep it together for your son; but even he could tell that something was wrong.
“Daddy?” He asked his father on the way to nursery “what’s wrong with mommy? She seems sad.”
“She’ll be okay bud.” Bucky reassured his son “it’s just grown up things, nothing you need to worry about.”
“I don’t like it when she’s sad.” Tommy frowned.
“Me neither.” Bucky said softly “but she’ll be okay, we just need to take care of her.”
When Bucky returned to the house you were sat on the sofa, staring into space with your eyes glazed over.
“You okay Y/N?” He kept his voice gentle, not wanting to scare you.
You didnt respond, not even acknowledging his presence.
“Sweetheart?” He spoke up again, slowly approaching you.
You continued to stare blankly.
“Darling? I need you to talk to me, can you tell me what’s wrong?” He knelt down in front of you.
Your eyes moved to him for a moment, before turning back to the wall.
“Y/N...you’re scaring me doll.” Bucky was growing more and more concerned. He’d seen how your mental state had been worsening over the past few days, but he didn’t realise things were this bad.
You quickly stood up and walked away from him, making your way into the bathroom and locking the door behind you.
He heard the sound of the bath water running, maybe you just needed to take some time to relax?
Seeing you so blank had scared Bucky. He could cope with your nightmares and flashbacks, he could cope with you crying and getting angry. But this emptiness? The silence? He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to help.
He sank down outside the bathroom, listening intently; waiting for your cried and sobs to sound through the door so he could come and comfort you. They never came.
2 hours passed and you still hadn’t left the bathroom.
“Darling?” Bucky knocked on the door “are you okay in there?”
“Sweetheart?” He knocked again “if you don’t answer I’m going to come in.”
Still no response.
Bucky ran a hand down his face, trying to compose himself. He took a second to prepare himself before kicking down the door.
When he entered he saw you sat up in the bath, your arms resting on top of the water with no thought to the splint that was currently covering your wrist.
“Oh darling.” Bucky held back tears at how vulnerable you looked, like you didn’t know what to do.
“C’mon doll, let’s get you out.” Bucky reached for a towel, cringing slightly when he felt how cold the water had become; you must be freezing.
He carefully lifted you from the tub, wrapping you in the fluffy towel and carrying you into the bedroom; you didn’t put up a fight, still completely silent.
He carefully dried you off, wary of your injuries and not wanting to hurt you. Once you were dry he dressed you in one of his jumpers and a pair of sweats. It made you look even smaller; more delicate.
“I’ll call Bruce.” He said once you were dressed “he’ll need to change the cast since it got wet.”
You nodded in response, at least you were acknowledging his words now.
“Why don’t you rest for a while doll?” He suggested “I’ll come wake you when he gets here?”
You didn’t respond verbally, just lying down in his bed and wrapping the duvet around your shivering form.
“I’m worried about her Steve.” Bucky sighed, having called his friend over as soon as you were asleep.
“You can’t expect her to be okay buck...not after everything that’s happened.” Steve responded.
“I know...I know that.” Bucky said “but she’s so broken...and I don’t know how to fix her.”
“You can’t fix her.” Steve said simply “this isn’t some shitty movie where a woman goes through something horrible and a guy saves her and suddenly it’s all okay...this is real life.”
“I don’t think it is!” Bucky said definitively “I know I can’t fix her overnight, I know that’s not how it works! I just want her to open up...I want her to let me help her.”
“And she will.” Steve placed a hand on his friends shoulder “just give her time, let her open up on her own terms. You can’t force it.”
“She won’t talk to the therapist, she won’t talk to me, she spends all day in silence. It’s bad Steve. It’s really bad.” Bucky was becoming emotional now.
He whipped around when he hears your soft footsteps padding into the room.
“Hi Y/N.” Steve smiled.
“Hey Stevie.” You said quietly.
Part of Bucky was happy you’d finally spoken...another part was jealous that you’d spoken to Steve rather than him.
“How are you doing?” Steve asked.
“I’m good.” You forced a small smile on your face “I was just going to get some dinner started for when Tommy gets home “do you want to stay?”
“That’d be great Y/N.” Steve smiled back “thanks.”
“You shouldn’t be cooking doll, you need to rest.” Bucky spoke up “let me do it.”
“Just leave me alone James!” You shouted, surprising yourself “just let me be!”
You stormed into the kitchen, leaving the two men alone.
“You need to give her space Buck.” Steve turned to his friend once you were out of earshot.
“She doesn’t need space!” Bucky retorted “she needs to be taken care of, she’s been hurt. She’s traumatised!”
“And you constantly reminding her of that isn’t helping.” Steve answered back “how can you expect her to move on and heal when you’re treating her like this broken little doll?”
“I...I...” Bucky stammered, realising Steve might be right.
“You know I’m right.” Steve smirked “you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
“I’m not.” Bucky grumbled.
“Here’s what’s going to happen.” Steve crossed his arms “you’re going to go get Tommy and then we’re all going to have dinner together. You’re going to treat her like an actual human being, no constant hovering over her, no asking how she is every 2 seconds. Let her make her own decisions, even if that means moving out; you need to let her figure it out on her own. Okay?”
Bucky didn’t answer.
“Okay?” Steve repeated.
“Fine.” Bucky grumbled “you’re a fucking menace Rogers.” He said under his breath as he reached for his car keys and went to go collect his son.
Once everyone had their food you took your seat at the table.
“This looks amazing Y/N.” Steve complimented as he poured himself a glass of wine.
“Thanks Steve.” You smiled.
“You want some wine?” He offered.
“Sure, that’d be nice.” You nodded.
“You shouldn’t be-“ Bucky started to speak, to tell you that drinking alcohol after trauma could lead to dependency. But a pointed glare from Steve made him keep his mouth shut.
You pushed your food around your plate for a while, not actually taking a bite. Bucky desperately wanted to tell you to eat, but his way of helping clearly hadn’t worked so he was willing to try Steve’s.
Tommy let out a yawn and declared that he wanted his uncle Steve to put him to bed. Steve obediently lifted the small boy and carried him to get ready for bed.
“Dinner was really nice Y/N.” Bucky said once you were alone, resisting the urge to ask how you were feeling.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” You smiled “tonight’s been lovely, I feel normal again.”
“Good.” Bucky smiled back “look I owe you an apology...I know I’ve been a bit overbearing recently.”
“It’s okay James.” You reassured him “I just want to be treated like a person, not like damaged goods.”
“I understand that.” Bucky nodded “but I do want you to know that you can always come to me...if you do ever want to talk.”
“I know...thank you.” You blushed at his words.
“I was thinking that we could get you some new furniture for the apartment?” Bucky suggested “so it’s a fresh start for you when you move back in.”
“Oh...yeah...that’d be great.” You agreed, shocked that Bucky was being so supportive instead of trying to change your mind.
As the weeks passed Bucky continued to be supportive and you began to slowly feel better. You were still struggling, attempting to recover from what you’d been through.
You and Bucky had been getting on well, there were a few occasions when you’d gone to him when you’d been struggling. But other than when you asked him to he didn’t speak about what had happened, allowing you to take control of the situation.
In 2 days you’d be moving back into your apartment with your son, and you were beginning to have second thoughts. Unsure if you were doing the right thing.
“I’ll miss him a lot.” You admitted to Clint as he helped you pack boxes containing your belongings.
“You know he’d be happy for you to stay right?” Clint turned to you.
“I know...but I need to do this.” You sighed “I need to get better on my own, and I need to make sure Tommy’s safe. It’d be selfish if I stayed.”
“You wouldn’t.” Clint disagreed “but it’s your decision, and you can always change your mind.”
You hummed in response, focusing on folding your clothes.
“You still love him don’t you?” Clint stopped what he was doing to look at you “you want to be with him?”
“Despite everything that’s happened...yeah I do.” You sighed “but we can’t ever be together, his work is too dangerous.”
“He’d keep you safe Y/N.” Clint said softly.
“He’d do his best.” You frowned “but he can’t protect me from everything.”
“Whatever you decide you’re not alone.” Clint reached out to pull you into an embrace “I’ll always be here for you and Tommy.”
“Thanks Clint.” You rested your head on his shoulder “I appreciate it.”
Bucky had spent every waking moment with you and Tommy. Relishing the precious time he had left with you living together.
He was heartbroken, practically ignoring his work and focusing solely on you and his son; still hoping you’d change your mind.
When the day came for you to move you were quiet, and so was Bucky.
He had some of his men load up the van with your belongings and lifted Tommy into the car seat in his Range Rover, wanting to drive you to the apartment himself.
The drive there was quiet, both of you feeling emotional that you were going to be spending time apart. Tommy was completely oblivious, swinging his legs and singing along to the Disney soundtrack that was playing.
Once you were in the apartment Bucky stayed for a while, helping you move furniture and get things organised. His heart ached as he went about his tasks, this was almost too much to handle.
Tommy was in his bedroom, playing with his toys; leaving you and Bucky alone in the living room.
“Thank you James...thank you for everything.” You held back tears as you spoke.
“It’s no problem doll.” A sad smile graced Bucky’s face “I’d do anything for you...anything at all.”
“I...I’ll miss you.” Your voice was thick, filled with emotion.
“I’ll miss you too.” Bucky took your hand in his “if you ever change your mind and want to come back just let me know. You’re always welcome.”
“Thank you.” You whispered.
“I...I guess I better go say bye to Tommy and get out of your hair.” Bucky said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke.
“Yeah...okay.” You nodded.
He stared at you for a second longer, before turning and walking towards Tommy’s room.
“Wait!” You called after him.
He turned around instantly. You approached him slowly; cautiously.
You reached up an arm to cup his cheek with your hand, slowly standing on your tip toes to plant a gentle kiss to his lips, relishing the feeling since it would be the last time.
“Goodbye Bucky.” You whispered, stepping backwards to create a distance between you “I’ll see you on Tuesday when you come to collect Tommy.”
“I’ll see you then Y/N...” Bucky couldn’t help the single tear that rolled down his cheek “I love you.”
He promptly turned to make his way to Tommy’s room to say goodbye, before leaving the apartment without saying another word to you.
Once Tommy was in bed that night you sat on the sofa with a glass of wine in hand, obsessing over if you had made the right decision; you had a feeling you hadn’t.
A/N- Another angsty chapter (I’m so sorry!) I promise things will get happier in the next part. Sorry this is another short one, I had to split this chapter in half or it would have been way too long! Not proof read so sorry for mistakes!
Tags- @missingartist96 @vicmc624 @nefri-black @wanniiieeee @firedancer016 @madddiiee26 @misschino @what-is-your-wish @coffeebooksandfandom @kyn-lyn-blog @5jacobm5 @supremacybucky @aquamariene-me @heavenhatesme @spookyparadisesheep @juliesland @goodcleanfunsis @intothesoul @oceaniamaddness @impala1967666 @cap-just-said-language @austynparksandpizza @ironmansuucks @pineprincess @flawra16 @sebastianstansqueen
50 notes · View notes
all we are is skin and bone | b.b. - linked
Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader
Summary: Y/N is hesitant about crossing tentative line between friendship and something more with her neighbour, Bucky. Based on Treacherous by Taylor Swift
masterlist | join my taglist!
Since tumblr isn't showing my fic in the tags, here is the link. It is also the pinned post on my page <3
Warnings are on the post, it's mostly fluff, with a little bit of angst. But due to a mess up, I had to repost it, and now it won't show up in any of the tags no matter what I do 🙂
28 notes · View notes
Summary: Bucky Barnes’ little sister, ex-winter soldier was taken as a child and trained. In and out of cyro for years she has the physical age of a 17-year-old. After being in Wakanda for two years, she is rejoining society and going to school. What happens when she meets a boy, and what happens when somebody wants her back?
Warnings: language, mentions of death, its just kinda sad, but very cute
Taglist: @zendayasfwb @bi-lmg
17 notes · View notes
Do I finally give in and start the Bucky multi-chapter fic I have been plotting in my head for WEEKS, or do I avoid finally gratifying my thoughts?
1 note · View note
The conclusion to the first arc of My Dream Man, and I am ready to hurt y’all so good in the second :)
10 notes · View notes
all we are is skin and bone || b.b.
biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader
"Nothing safe is worth the drive and I will follow you, follow you home." - based on Treacherous by Taylor Swift
Warnings: alcohol, hinted at trauma for reader, depiction of a panic attack, rushed ending. slightly angsty fluff
masterlist | join my taglist
The faint smell of cigarette smoke, aged leather, and the fleeting brush of a heated gaze were what made up the bulk of her summer. In the juxtaposition of hot, searing sunlight against sweat-glistened skin, was the ever-present humidity as she learns to navigate this new setting; low ceilings of run-down suburbias, chipped picket fences on the outskirts of the big city, and him.
Meeting him had been a kaleidoscope of unfamiliar feelings. Moments of friction and boisterous laughter thick in the air, so much so that Y/N could feel herself slipping into the treacherous territory she had sworn off from the beginning.
Of course, the reluctance had been one-sided and the fault was entirely her own.
Moving to the quiet fringes of town had been a decisive move meant to give her back the long-lost agency she sought in her life; albeit a rash, poorly planned move, but a move nonetheless. A fresh start, away from all the shadows pulling her down.
Yet the day of the move, what sight would she be met with but the very embodiment of the darkness she had tried to escape. Rowdy voices, swaths of dark worn denim and inked skin, backed by the roaring engine of motorcycles upon motorcycles, mimicking an executioner line. And there he was, standing out from the crowd of bikers, holding a canister of beer, staring right into her eyes.
The real estate agent who had sold her the house, simply squealed pathetically, shoving the silver keys into her hands before dashing back to his car, tail between his legs.
It was as though the very demons she had been trying to escape had physically manifested into the form of her brooding neighbour with the unwavering gaze, whose name she later learned was James Barnes.
In his ripped Levi’s, white muscle tee, he reminded her of everything she wanted to escape.
So she turned around and closed the door.
Presently, a year later, she sat comfortably in the shade of his garage, perched on the sturdy wood of his stained workbench, head ducked in the pages of The Art of War, narrowly avoiding hitting the shelf above her.
James, now more affectionately known as Bucky, was currently studying the innards of her cursed car, if it could even be referred to as such. In the stifling summer heat, his torso was bare and sunkissed, sheltered only by the lifted hood of her vehicle.
Subconsciously, she felt her eyes trace the contours of his skin, ending on the complex metal prosthetic that never failed to mesmerize her. There seems to be an unending number of panels and plates; no matter how many hours she spends familiarizing herself with it, there is always something new, something novel in the way it curves and refracts the sunlight. It is spellbinding.
Just like him.
“Y’know, you should really let me bring this into the shop,” he drawls, running his hand through the mess of locks that had long escaped the loose hair tie. He tilted his head, leaning against the beat-up vintage Chevy, grinning at her wandering gaze.
“That would require me to actually drive it and you know how I feel about that,” she responded, eyebrow raised, shielding her smirk behind the tattered paperback. “Besides, why would I when I have you right here?”
He scoffed at this, though didn’t bother to refute her claim; she was right, it would be an inconvenience at the very least and fairly unnecessary.
But he desperately wanted her to meet his friends.
He wanted her to be seen by the people who mattered most to him the same way he saw her; glorious, enrapturing, capable of breaking him down if she so chose. He was but skin and bone, in her hands, moulded to fit against her body, as though it was he had been bred for.
She was the last missing piece in the misshapen puzzle of his life and in the midmorning light, he is sure he was created if only to love her.
Of course, their own tentative friendship had been one born of pure incidence.
The first few months, she had been noticeably adamant about limiting their interactions, scheduling her entrances and exits so they never coincided with his, which only intrigued Bucky more. On occasion, when they did cross paths, she did so with downturned eyes and hesitant smiles at his poor attempts at a cheerful greeting.
Slowly over time though, she would match his banter, and Bucky would feel his heart flutter at the hint of dimples in her skin and the faint traces of laughter in her eyes. That was, until his friends rolled up to his driveway, loud as ever, lining their bikes in a disarray of rows by the sidewalk.
And she would be gone in an instant, eyes averted once more.
The opportunity to solidify this timid, barely-there bond was found on a stormy night. Somehow, by pure coincidence on his way home, he had been the one to pull over to aid a familiar ivory Chevy.
Rolling up on his drenched motorcycle, he had lifted the visor on his helmet only to be met with a teary-eyed Y/N, sniffling as she struggled to lift the hood of her car in the pouring rain. She was drenched head to toe and Bucky wondered how long she'd been out there, stalled on the shoulder of the highway, stranded with nowhere to go. The phone service was notoriously bad and she was shaking violently in the unforgiving chill of the wind.
Perhaps it had been in the heat of the moment, the stress having built up in the pouring rain, but upon recognizing him, she had flung herself into his arms, burrowing underneath his leather jacket, sobbing against the warmth of his chest.
In the cold, torrential downpour, lit only by the dim streetlight, she had clung to him as he stroked her wet hair back, whispering hurried assurances into her ear.
For the rest of the night, she continued to cling to him silently, never quite letting go, even as he drove her home on the back of his motorcycle wearing his helmet. Each time she tightened her grip on his waist, the feel of his jacket on her, pressed against the wet fabric of his black t-shirt, Bucky felt his heart skip a beat.
Now, she sat freely, cross-legged in the comfort of his home, often opting for few words, but it was within his vicinity and for him, that was enough.
“What are you grinning about, shouldn’t you be fixing my car?” she teased, interrupting his memory.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, doll?” Bucky replied smoothly, though he returned his attention to the engine anyways, shaking away his thoughts. Clicking his tongue, he looked around him for what he needed before spotting it on the shelf above Y/N’s head.
“Darlin’ could you pass me the pliers above you?”
“You have legs pretty boy, why don’t you use them?” she huffed dryly, not looking up from the book in her hands. He sighed dramatically, striding over to the workbench where she sat, grabbing the pliers before resting the palms of his hands next to the silky expanse of her exposed thighs, effectively caging her in.
Noticing the sudden shadow cast onto the pages she was reading, Y/N looked up, meeting the stormy blue irises she had become familiar with. There was an infinite vastness to them, where each time she looked, there was a new speck of gray, a deeper shade of blue and she simultaneously felt at ease and as though she could drown in them.
Perhaps that was what was most unnerving of it all; the fact that she would let them consume her wholeheartedly in ways she had long since sworn off.
“Why must you be so difficult?” he murmured, lips close enough that she could feel his breath against hers, but not quite touching. His eyes fluttered, gaze grazing her mouth before looking her in the eyes once more.
The air grew heavy with each passing moment and she felt herself slipping down a dangerous slope.
If she doesn’t pull away now, she will be sucked in and there will be no return. How different will this be from any other? Another friendship down the drain for a fruitless romantic endeavour?
But the heart is a traitorous being and Y/N doesn’t pull away. No, rather, she slides closer, an act of treachery to the promise she had made herself a year ago.
No more heartbreak.
No more losing control.
“Stay,” she hears herself say. Her heart is beating out of her chest because Bucky, her neighbour, her only friend, is looking at her too closely and she likes it.
They jump apart at the sudden sound of a bike engine.
Steve, one of the few in Bucky’s company Y/N recognizes, is here, followed by a gaggle of his friends, expression stern.
“Buck, there’s a situation you need to check out,” Steve says, voice sombre and unwavering.
She feels her chest tighten, breath quickening, turning shallow.
“Rumlow?” Bucky inquires, suddenly sounding grave.
There are spots in her vision, vignetting out of focus. Rather than voices, she hears ringing and the reckless feeling from just moments ago has evaporated. There are too many people around her and too much noise.
“Hey? You alright there?” Bucky asks, voice breaking through the thrum of blood in her ears. He reaches for her hand gently, but she jerks away chest heaving.
“I-I have to go…” she murmured, avoiding his eyes, clasping her hands tightly as she makes a run for it across the street to the safety of her own home.
It is only when she is back inside and behind closed doors, panic no longer clawing up her throat, that she realizes her hands are shaking.
Control was an ever-elusive creature and at times, she wonders if it is even real, or just another unobtainable experience in this world. How fickle it was in the way it would play with her heart, tossing it carelessly like a game of softball. Just when she thought she had finally achieved it, it was cruelly stripped away from her.
Bucky made her lose control, yet somehow, she did not mind in the slightest and that was perhaps the biggest betrayal of all.
So, like always, she ran away from the problem.
For the last week and a half, at even the slightest glimpse of his dark wavy hair, or the sound of anything remotely engine-like, had her sprinting back inside the sanctuary that was her home. He had left countless voicemails, none of which she had the galls to listen to. She thinks even his voice will send her spiralling.
If she was being honest though, none of it was making her feel better in the slightest. Rather, she found herself thinking of him more often than not.
When she watches the dark espresso drip out of the machine, she is reminded of how he only drinks it black and the time he laughed at the sheer amount of sugar she would stir in.
When she’s humming a tune while cooking, she realizes too late that it is his favourite song she's humming.
When she thinks of a joke, it is him who she turns to tell it to, only to see he is not there
And when she’s combing through her closet, she finds his leather jacket from a year ago that she had never bothered to return, still smelling so distinctly of Bucky, with its trifecta of cigarette smoke, wax and lavender from the sprigs he keeps hung around his home.
Without even realizing it, he has made himself a permanent fixture in her life, seeped into every crevice and now there is nowhere she can look that does not remind her of him.
In the sleepless night, there is a knock on the door and it is his name that echoes through her mind.
When she opens it, she sees that his face is rogued, though not in its usual, sharp-boned, long messy hair kind of way. He is unshaven and there are dark bags under his eyes, weighing down his storm blue gaze.
“Doll!” he exclaims, as though surprised she had deigned to answer. After a moment's hesitation, he continued, flushed, “Please, listen to me, I am, so, so sorry that I tried to kiss you, I don’t know what I was thinking-”
She pulled him down by the collar of his maroon Henley, his lips meeting hers, the scent of lavender and tobacco washing over her. He melted into the kiss almost instantaneously, arms moving to wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against his large build.
If treachery was the way Bucky groaned into her mouth before nipping at her bottom lip, soothing the bite with his tongue, then perhaps treachery was a worthy cause.
If recklessness was the delicate grip he held her in and the rush of adrenaline that came from being pressed into the door as she tugged lightly on his hair then maybe it was time to stop running away.
When they pulled apart at last, lips bruised, they basked in the moonlight, enjoying the simplicity of this moment.
This slope is treacherous, I, I, I like it.
taglist: @anchoeritic @gxtitobxby @mollysolo @solarviolet @1800-shutup @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @mardema
54 notes · View notes
mess is mine – b. b.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
summary: moments in which you’re there for bucky, and he’s there for you
warnings: friends to lovers (slowburn), mutual pining, angst, canon-typical violence, swearing, fluff
84 notes · View notes
Bucky realizing that you don’t mind/aren’t afraid of touching his vibranium arm after hiding it for so long
bestie, this is cute af!
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: Sorry that this was so late, but I hope you enjoy it!
You knew about Bucky’s arm.
But he was honest to god terrified of your reaction to it.
He did everything in his power to keep you from seeing it, or feeling it. Even though you two were together for six months.
Bucky was in your guys’ bedroom. He had just gotten out of the shower, shirt off and jeans hanging loosely on his hips. A white towel was hanging over his bionic shoulder. He was perusing through his closet when you walked in, unannounced.
You obviously didn’t know that Bucky just came out of the shower, nor did you expect him to be shirtless. Bucky didn’t realize that you opened the door until it was too late. He knew that you had already seen it.
It didn’t matter though. Bucky took the towel and wrapped it around his arm so you didn’t see it. Although you already did.
You paused, your hand resting on the golden door handle. “Uh, babe? You okay?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. Bucky nodded before cradling his towel-clad arm to his chest, like a wounded soldier.
I mean, he was. And he was embarrassed about it.
“Are you sure?” You questioned again, taking a few cautious steps toward your tall, dark-haired lover. He nodded again, trying to look cool, but the fear was evident on his face. You still crept cautiously towards him. He took a step back.
“Bucky?” You asked, finally reaching him before placing your hands on his shoulders. His eyes watered a little bit. “I’m a freak.” He mumbled. Concern washed over your face. “What?”
“I’m a freak.” He repeated, a tear streaming down his face. You wiped it away, your thumb resting on the apple of his cheek. “Why would you say that?” Sadness laced your voice. You hated seeing him like this.
Bucky hesitated before sliding the towel off of his vibranium arm. You gasped, not out of shock, but out of amazement. You never saw his arm before. Bucky always wore long sleeve shirts, jackets, and gloves.
You placed your hand on his arm and Bucky flinched. You looked up at him, waiting for permission to continue. You took your other hand and placed it on his cheek, stroking his scruff. “You’re not a freak.” You assured him, your tone adamant.
He looked over at his bionic arm. Your hand trailed up and down the black metal, carefully examining the gold trim that lined the edges. “I don’t know why you hid it from me for so long. It’s beautiful.” You said before looking up at him. His eyes were still on his arm, a semi-resenting look on his face.
You took your hand and placed it under his chin, turning his head so he could look at you, in the eyes. “You’re beautiful.” You stated, before pressing your lips against his.
Bucky melted into the kiss, another small tear streaking down his face before mixing between your lips. He wrapped both of his arms around you, something he never did before.
You pulled away, a smile adorning your face. “Can we buy you short sleeves now?”
Bucky rolled his eyes, before pulling you in for another kiss.
119 notes · View notes
This Is Trouble
dad’sbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader
a/n: okay, i’m prettyyy new to writing and this is my first jab at writing a series or something that isn’t a hc so please be gentle with me. this could be complete shit and suck ass but ya know what, oh well! i’m a slut for dad’sbestfriend!bucky so here ya go! i really hope you enjoy it!! :-)
"Dad." You groan as he covers your eyes with his hands. You had just graduated college and after a few days spent packing up your stuff from your apartment near school and saying your goodbyes to your friends, you're finally back home. Your dad had the biggest grin on his face when he picked you up and you had a feeling he was up to something even though he swore he wasn't.
Now with his hands over your eyes in front of the door of your childhood home, you knew he was up to something.
"What's going on?" You ask, hearing the sound of people shuffling and a few shushing each other behind the door. "I know you hate surprises but you're back home so you're going to have to deal with it for the sake of your poor dad who has missed his daughter." You chuckle, a smile pulling at your lips.
You loved your dad. Your mom left when you were fairly young, hadn't even hit the double digits age range yet before her and your dad decided it was best to part ways. She never called or wrote, just left. But you made your way with your dad.
The sound of the door opening shakes you from your thoughts. Your dad removing his hands from your eyes to reveal a moderate sized group of family and friends before you.
Your eyes go big the exact moment they all yell out "Surprise!!" A red hot blush rushes to your cheeks and you smile bashfully, never having been one to like being the center of attention. You don't catch it but if you did you would have seen your dads best friend leaning against the kitchen doorway, lips moving up into a smile at your reaction.
"Okay, this was a pretty good surprise." Your smile blooms from shy and uncomfortable to happy and touched. You immediately hug your father, "Thank you. So much."
He gives you a tight squeeze causing you to choke out, "Dad." Chuckling at him as he lets go, letting air refill your lungs.
"I'm gonna give you some time with everyone. Good luck." With a kiss to the side of your head, Everyone begins rushing up, congratulating you, hugging you, commenting on how much you've grown and changed.
After nodding at one of the older womans dramatized comments about how she could hardly recognize you now, you feel someone watching you. Your eyes smoothly and quickly find Bucky, and you're almost thrown off actual physical balance at how good he looks. Holy shit. You swallow, your stomach doing a flip. Okay, what the fuck was that, stomach?
Not only have you changed but so as he. You breathe in through your nose as you take him in. The light stubble dancing on his jaw, a tight black shirt, the chains of his dog tags peaking out from the shirts collar. See he still wears those, you think to yourself. His black jeans matching his black boots have you trying not to bite your lip. You blink and quickly turn away, zoning back into the atmosphere around you.
He's always been attractive but jesus, when did he get that attractive. I guess you've both grown.
Apparently the lady, Lila, had still been talking to you, unaware your attention was pulled elsewhere for a moment. Firing questions off at you at a rapid speed, not stopping to hear your answers. So she's basically just having a conversation with herself and you've been deemed the appropriate audience for aome reason.
You hear footsteps coming towards you, flicking your eyes up, you see Bucky walking and stopping right in front of you. Oh my god. He smells amazing. No. What the fuck are you thinking? Reign it in, Y/N.
"Lila, don't wear the poor girl out." His bright, friendly smile drifting from her to you and you can't help the smile mirroring his on your lips. "Oh, I'm not." She chides, squeezing your arm softly with affection, "But I'll go." She playfully sighs and walks away.
Bucky's eyes haven't left yours, that contagious smile still on his face. "Welcome home, kid." That Brooklyn drawl has you biting your lip as you smile. It was a completely innocent movement, a habit you picked up a few years ago but it causes Bucky to look down at your lips, quickly flicking his gaze back to you as he inhales, mentally shaking thoughts from his head.
"Thank you, Mr. Barnes." You say politely. Bucky pulls a face and laughs, causing you to laugh along with him. Why is everything he does so contagious? He shakes his head as he speaks. "No, no, kid. Call me Bucky."
You nod your head once before pulling a face of your own. "Okay, but you can't call me 'kid' anymore. I'm 22, Bucky." The new 'title' leaving your mouth like an acception to a challenge.
He nods his head, lifting his hands up in mock defence, smirking at the way you said his name.
"Okay, okay. I got it. Y/N." His voice falls soft, almost sounding like he just found out what your name was and was calling you by it for the first time.
"Ah, Y/N, see you've caught up with Buck." Your dad grins, slapping a friendly hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Come on, party is out back."
Steve leads the way, both you and Bucky following. You purse your lips, fighting off a smile and Bucky snorts. "Party." You say quietly, glancing at Bucky as he retorts back speaking quietly so your dad doesn't hear, "Oh yeah, it's raging, can't you tell? Might just give them college parties of yours a run for their money."
You hum in acknowledgement, "You might be right, Barnes. But, I have been to some good ones."
"Barnes, huh?" You can't quite read the look on his face. All you know is that you're both looking at each other with some kind of playfulness, like the beginning of a new game has just started and you're on opposing sides.
"Mhm. Barnes." You overly dictate the 'B' in his name, drawing the 'A' out a bit, making a clicking sound with the side of your mouth, your focus forward.
Your dad turns around, clapping you softly on the shoulder, "Have fun, hon. One of the guys is calling for me. Sam! I'm coming!" You watch as your dad huffs, jogging up to his friend, swatting the spatula away from his hands, focus on the grill Sam was, I guess, butchering.
"So, you still do that." You turn your head back to Bucky, furrowing your eyebrows a little, tilting your head slightly, confusion lightly appearing on your face. "Do what?"
He puts his gloved covered hands into his jacket pockets, clearing his throat, "You make that sound when you're focusing on something or are nervous." There's a slight pause before he speaks up again. "You nervous with the get together or bein' back home or somethin'?"
You didn't realize you even did that. You were a little nervous but it wasn't because of the party your dad threw for you. It was because of Bucky. It's a good nervous but it confuses you none the less.
"Yeah. Just being back home." You nod, lips tugging up at the corner for a smile. "The change and everything."
Bucky doesn't look quite convinced but lets it go. Your attention is drawn forward, wanting to look anywhere but Bucky. The way he looks at you was fogging up your brain.
"You still wear the dog tags."
This time he tilts his head, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. "I can notice things too, Bucky." You whisper with a smile, your attention turning back to him, causing him to chuckle.
"Well, they are mine, Doll." You both freeze. Fuck, he thinks. It just slipped out. He couldn't help it. He's fucked it now, shit. But you chew on your bottom lip, fighting back a smile but the hint of it is there and Bucky catches it and feels as if he can breathe again.
"Doll, huh?" You repeat his words back to him.
With a slight cocky tilt of his head, a subtle smirk and something dancing in both of your eyes, he throws it right back at you. Repeating your own words, the exact way you said them to him, "Mhm. Doll."
Before you could react, say anything, he had turned and casually walked away, yelling a hello at one of his and your dad's old friends and although you couldn't see his face, he had the biggest smirk on it. You let out a breath, not knowing what to make of yours and his interaction.
It was Bucky. Just Bucky. Your dad's best friend. He was just being friendly and teasing. Normal. But as you walk to grab a beer from the cooler near by, you can't help but question a little, "Right?"
Straightening your back, you feel eyes on you and you immediately know whose they are. Turning your head, you lock eyes with the brown haired man, taking a swig of his beer.
Your brain repeating the question again, "..Right?"
123 notes · View notes
I Wish I Was Your Girl
Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Male Character(s)
Chapter: 2 out of 3 [Chapter 1]
Summary: Steve discovers something about Bucky he never would have suspected in all the years they've known each other.
Tags [this chapter]: Stucky, Angst, Arguing, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Love Confessions
18+ ONLY PLEASE! MINORS DNI. If you hit Keep Reading you agree that you're 18 or older. I do not consent to any part of this work being read by anyone under 18 years of age. If I find out, you will be blocked.
Also posted on Ao3: HERE
There is no smut in this chapter. It is only getting us to chapter 3, which is pure filth. The net chapter posts on Friday, May 21st
It’s a beautiful Tuesday in the middle of spring. Steve is restless, so he leaves the Avengers compound for coffee. He needs fresh air, and to stretch his legs, so he decides on a coffee shop several miles away.
Nearing his destination, he rounds a corner, and skids to a halt. Outside of the very shop he’d been heading to, he sees Bucky. He’s dressed down in tight blue jeans and a long-sleeved black tee, with big dark sunglasses, and the black gloves he’s taken to wearing in public so people don’t stare at his arm. He’s relaxed, laughing, and Steve’s heart flutters with happiness to see a genuine smile on his friend’s face. It’s been ages since he’d seen a smile on Bucky’s face that went all the way to his eyes.
Then Bucky pulls someone towards him. A man Steve only sees from behind, a couple inches shorter than Bucky, with light hair and broad shoulders. Bucky’s left hand is fisted in the guy’s shirt, and he pulls the man in for a kiss. Pressed together from thigh to chest, arms wrapped around each other, they kiss slow and playfully.
Steve feels like someone has reached deep down inside of him and yanked out everything vital to his existence. His heart is caught in his throat and he can’t breathe because of it. His eyes are burning and he rubs at them furiously, dumbfounded when they come away wet. A shudder rolls through his chest and he realizes he’s crying, and he’s angrier than he’s ever been in his entire life.
He shoves his sunglasses onto his face and pulls his hat down low, turning back the way he’d come. He starts off walking back to the Avengers compound, but his anger is making him twitchy and lightheaded, so he runs. He runs until his blood is boiling, and his hamstrings howl with the strain.
He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to walk away from the compound and vanish without a trace. Instead, he does the only thing he can think of that isn’t entirely self destructive—sparring practice with Thor.
The Asguardian doesn’t ask why, or mention the redness on Steve’s face. They pummel each other for over an hour. Steve’s stamina is nearly endless, and he’s too worked up to put his fists down. And Thor is a god, so he never gets tired, so if his friend needs to use his fists for a while instead of his brain, Thor figures it’s better he hit someone he can’t hurt.
Steve eventually retires to his room to take a scorching shower, scrubbing himself until he’s red and raw all over. He gets dressed and lets himself into Bucky’s room using his spare key. He doesn’t yet know what he intends to do when he sees his best friend. He knows he has to do something, otherwise he’ll feel this slow death for the rest of his life.
Bucky likes men. This new knowledge makes Steve feel like he’s exploding in slow motion. How could Bucky like men, but not like Steve? How could he not tell Steve when they were younger? Maybe Steve would have had a chance to be happy then, instead of spending all these years alone in all the ways that really matter. Too full of feelings, this sad, uncertain sickness will soon overcome him. He wraps his arms around himself to keep from flying apart.
It’s after dark when he hears Bucky’s voice in the hall. Making a smart-mouthed comment to Sam before pushing his door open. And seeing the big grin on Bucky’s face, Steve’s anger finally boils over, and he knows what he wants to do.
“Hey Steve!” Bucky greets him good naturedly. “What’s going on?”
Steve is apoplectic as he closes the space between them with big, angry strides. He balls up his right hand and hits Bucky square in the jaw. Steve is emotional, so it’s a sloppy hit, but it connects, and Bucky’s head snaps hard to the side.
“Hey—OW! What the fuck, Steve??”
Steve grits his teeth together and growls, “Language.” He knows it’s stupid, but he isn’t thinking straight at all.
He doesn’t trust himself not to hit Bucky again, and despite how pissed off he is right now, he doesn’t actually want to fight, so he falls back a step.
“You—Christ, Bucky, you kissed him,” he’s yelling now and doesn’t know how to stop.
Confusion is written in every line of Bucky’s face. “Huh? Kissed? Him? Him who?” Understanding floods his features. “Oh, did you see me at the coffee shop today? Jesus, Steve. It isn’t the 40’s anymore. It’s perfectly fine for two guys to-“
“I KNOW THAT YOU IDIOT,” Steve roars. “I MEAN IT SHOULD—god damn it Buck, it should be me. Why isn’t it me?” Just like that the fight goes out of him, and he sags, feeling tears prickle at his eyes. His eyes shimmer bright, liquid blue when he lifts his head to look at Bucky again.
“I love you, Bucky,” Steve’s voice is a fragile, tremulous whisper. “I always have. Ever since we were kids.” Admitting it aloud takes bravery Steve didn’t know he possessed.
Bucky is staring, with his mouth open. Steve squeezes his eyes shut sending a cascade of hot tears down his cheeks. He nods, whispers, “Sure. Okay. It’s just me then. I’m sorry. I’ll go.” He’s twisting the knob when Bucky’s metal hand slaps down on the door.
“What does that mean, Steve?” Bucky asks cautiously. “What are you saying?”
Steve doesn’t have the strength to speak again, he doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself any more than he already had, so he just lifts his face and lets Bucky read the truth in his lovesick eyes.
Bucky cocks his head, trying to decipher the look on his best friend’s face. His eyes dart frenetically over Steve’s features, desperately trying to parse the new information he finds there. “Steve, wha-” The truth broadsides him—a hit almost as physical as the one Steve delivered moments ago. “Oh shit Steve. Really? Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you tell me? How could I be so fucking stupid?” He barks a laugh.
Running a hand through his long, dark hair, he chuckles, “Jesus Steve, you’re a dumbass. But damn man, so am I.”
This time Bucky gets to be the brave one, and he seizes Steve’s face in his hands and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s tentative at first, but when Bucky swipes his tongue over Steve’s bottom lip, Steve’s mouth falls open, and their tongues meet in the middle.
Bucky kisses Steve breathless, running his metal hand down Steve’s back to cup his ass and press them closer together.
Steve breaks the kiss to ask, “Wait a second. What about the guy?”
“Who—oh yeah. Him. What about him? Did you want him to join us? I can call him if you want.” Bucky jokes.
Steve scowls. “No. Aren’t you dating him? Wouldn’t you be cheating on him with me?”
“Man, we’ve had coffee twice. It isn’t anything serious. Don’t be so provincial.”
“Have you guys…?” He trails off, worried about how he’ll feel if the two of them had been physical, he already hates this man he’s never met, simply because he got to kiss Bucky. If they’d done more than that the jealousy might actually drive Steve mad.
Bucky’s voice softens, “No, Steve. No we haven’t.”
Steve’s brow furrows in indecision, so Bucky pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps at the screen for a second. He tosses the phone onto his desk and says, “There. Now he and I aren’t anything anymore. Better?” He reaches for Steve again, but he plants a hand on Bucky’s chest.
“Buck, did you just break up over text message? Harsh. I don’t think you’re supposed to do that.”
“What did you want me to do? Do you want to wait? To do this later? Did you want me to see him again just to end things? Do you want to stop now? Because, I gotta tell you Steve, I’ve never wanted to touch anyone as bad as I want to touch you right now. But if you wanna stop, we’ll stop.”
“No. Okay okay. I get it. Now c’mere.” He seizes Bucky's shirt with both fists and pulls him in for a kiss.
“Fuck,” Steve sighs, “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that, Buck.”
Bucky gasps dramatically, “Language!”
“Shut up and kiss me again.” So Bucky does.
5 notes · View notes