#steve rogers x plus size reader
Not to brag but the playlist I made for my story "Love in the suburbs" is pretty good 😍 but maybe I'm biased 😂
If you want to check it out, go to my Ig carrot.writes 💜
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I am very excited for chapter 9, one scene in particular, as I wrote it I got CHILLS 😩 and 🥴 so chill anyways read my story 😂❤️
I'll post post part of a Smut scene so u guys can see what you're missing out on 😉
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Guysguysguys I’m well rested enough to start writing so if anyone has any requests lmk!! I’d mainly write for Bucky but I’m open to most other mcu characters :))
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Steve Rogers x plus size reader
Warnings: insecurities, mentions of pre-serum Steve, feeling bad, very slight angst, fluff.
a/n: something i wrote randomly on my phone. i love pre-serum Steve so much, he deserves the world! and this is a bit personal coming from a person who is insecure about her body. i am trying to love my body and hope you all can as well, you are all so beautiful in your own way.
As she was laying on his chest, with his hands stroking her hair, she didn’t know whether she should speak. “Stevie, I think I would have asked pre-serum you out on a date” Steve looked at her and smiled. “I know it must have been tough for you, like it’s tough for me.” She had always been insecure about her body, be it because people were mean or her mind playing dirty tricks on her, she felt bad. She still couldn’t believe Steve chose her. He made her feel comfortable, he appreciated her and her body in every way. Still a part of her felt insecure, felt she isn’t good enough for Steve. And as if Steve could sense her inner turmoil, he spoke on cue “It was tough, I wish I met you earlier, you love me for the person I truly am, and I know you would have loved me back then.” he pressed a soft kiss on her head and continued “I love you sweetheart, every thing about you, I know sometimes your mind is cruel to you and makes you feel bad about yourself, I wish you could see yourself from my eyes, love yourself like I do.” She had tears in her eyes. “Why did you choose me Steve? there are so many beautiful women out there. I- I am” Steve interrupted her “You’re so beautiful, kind and empathetic, you are funny and talented and smart. I chose you and I will always keep choosing you because it’s you, just like I know you chose me and would have always chosen me because it’s me, the man you love and I feel so lucky.” she held him closer, living this moment to the fullest.
“I love you Steve”
“I love you (Y/n)”
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Just posted Chapter 8!!🥰 How will Jo's first mission turn out?
Everyday I fall more and more in love with Jo 😂😩
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Steve Rogers x fem!plussized!reader
(Wanda Maximoff x reader)
Summary: Steve walks in on you in your underwear causing you to avoid him for a bit, but in the end he tells you what you needed to hear.
Word Count: 954
Warnings: insecure reader, body images issues, mentions of being in underwear, mentions of being curvy
A/N: this is a comfort fic :)), anywho hope you guys enjoy it :)
You had just gotten out of the shower and you were sitting in your underwear.
“Hey baby, I want-.”
Steve had barged into your room without knocking. You quickly wrapped your robe around you but he had already seen you.
“Oh, (y/n). I’m so sorry I should’ve knocked.” He apologized, rubbing the back of his neck.
“It’s fine. Um, can you just leave please?” You asked, looking at the wall.
He nodded and left without saying another word.
For as long as you could remember you’ve had body issues. You were always very hard on yourself and how good you looked. It was quite draining. Steve respected that, he never pressured you into anything. He was absolutely amazing. Him seeing you in your underwear was something you weren’t ready for.
Especially now, you were going through a really rough patch mentally. You felt that your body was changing before your eyes, and you didn’t like that. Your curves were more prominent, your chest was bustier. You were not where you wanted to be, physically.
You stayed in your room for the rest of the day. You didn’t leave, you asked Wanda to drop off something for you to eat and then you went to bed.
You didn’t want to avoid anyone, definitely not Steve. But you couldn’t bear to come out yet. Embarrassed he saw you. Thinking what he could think of you, how he probably thinks you’re ugly.
You stayed in your room the next morning, Wanda came to visit you. She brought you breakfast and sat on your bed, just staying with you.
“You can’t avoid him forever, (y/n/n), he’s worried about you.”
“I know,” you continued, “I wasn’t ready for him to see me like that, so vulnerable.”
Wanda nodded, listening to you.
You knew he didn’t purposely try to see you like that. It was just an overwhelming situation for you.
“Wands?” You said as you sat up and faced her. She looked up, ready to listen.
“Do you know why he was coming to my room?”
“He wanted to show you something. Something for you.” She replied, smiling.
“Well. He probably doesn’t want to give it to me now because-.”
“Don’t you finish that sentence.” Wanda threatened, giving you a glare. “(y/n), Steve loves you. He loves everything about you. We all see the way he treats you, talks about you. Him seeing you in your underwear is not going to drive him away. You’re pretty sexy.”
Taking in all she said, you smiled before leaning towards Wanda, giving her a hug. “Thank you, Wanda.”
“Of course, hon. So are you going to stop avoiding him?”
“You know I can read minds right?” Wanda reminded you.
“I will stop avoiding everyone else.” Just after you finished speaking there was a knock on your door.
“Who is it?” You called out.
Your eyes widened hearing his voice. “Can I talk to you?”
You look back at Wanda as she pats your hand and mouths “you got this.” Wanda went to the door, careful to not let Steve see you because you weren’t sure you were ready.
“Hi Wanda, how is she doing?”
“She’s okay. She might open the door, she might not.” Steve nodded as Wanda walked away.
You came and unlocked the door letting him in. “Hi.”
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m okay.” You replied, sitting back on your bed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in-.”
“No, Steve, it's okay. You were excited and you forgot. I get it.” Steve relaxed a little hearing your words. You meant it, you understood what happened, but that didn’t mean your mind would rest.
“Steve, I wasn’t ready for you to see me like that.” You confessed.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry.”
You were honestly terrified of what he thought of you. Were your curves and stretch marks, and love handles unappealing to him? Did he think you were repulsive?
He noticed you were lost in thought for a little bit so he spoke;
“(y/n), I don’t want you to think that you’re any less stunning. I know you weren’t ready for me to see you in your underwear but my love, admiration, and affection for you has not changed,” he continued, “all I’ve thought about these few days is that you are beautiful and I hope that you’re doing alright.”
Your eyes watered at his words. He truly did love you. He understands.
“If you still need more time I understand, but you don’t have to hide from me. I love you.” Steve kissed your forehead before sitting down next to you.
“I got something for you that I wanted to show you the other day.” You watched Steve as he took out a small white box with a little ribbon on it and handed it to you.
“Oh, Steve.” You opened the box to see a silver necklace and a silver ring with a heart. You picked up the ring which had the words; “Steve & (y/n)” engraved.
“This is beautiful.” You said, tears streaming down your face. “I love it, thank you.” Steve wiped the tears off your cheeks and kissed you lovingly.
“The necklace is for you to wear the ring around your neck, because we both know you’re not reliable when it comes to keeping things on your hands.” He joked, before pecking your cheek again.
He took the necklace and ring, slipping the ring onto the necklace before fastening it around your neck.
You know you will slowly but surely become more confident in yourself. It’s very warming that you know Steve will be with you every step of the way.
“I love you, Steve.”
Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)
Steve tags: @ragnaroqk @mollysolo @fredweazleyswh0re @mogaruke @whothehellisbuckybarnes @amelia-song-pond @tinylumpiaa @verymuchgivingyes @stephthepeach @ttalisa @supremethunda @gamerartisy @qhbr2013 @afraid-to-be-me @jbreenr @teti-menchon0604 @chalametet @justreadingficsdontmindme @leyannrae
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You and Steve had been dating for a few months and you were still pretty insecure about your body around him. You knew that it was silly, that Steve loved the way you looked and loved your body but it was nerve-wracking letting someone love the body that you’d hated for most of your life.
Steve knew about your insecurities and he tried every single day to remind you about how much he appreciated and loved you. You were more than just a body to him, he loved your kindness and your laugh and the way you always looked out for others. He loved your body, he loved the curves, the stretch marks, the cellulite, the scars and blemishes; it was more of your to love and every mark on your body told a story of how you changed and how you grew, what was more beautiful than being able to read the novel on your skin?
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the warmest sunrise (steve rogers x plus size fem!reader)
(not my gif)
pairing: steve rogers x plus size fem! reader
warnings: mentions of eating disorders, insecurity, anxiety
a/n: hey everybody !! so @lilacprincessofrecovery asked: could you make a steve x plus size reader where he doesnt understand why the reader is shy about eating aroudn other people? like she doesnt eat with any of the other avengers in the compound?
this is honestly just a short comfort fic, i didn’t want to make it super complex or anything. also, don’t be afraid to fill up my inbox with asks; i’m currently taking them :))
“hey, y/n? are you in there?” called a familiar voice from the other side of your bedroom door.
you froze, fork halfway to your mouth. you were settled on your bed with your dinner plate in front of you and a glass of water on your bedside table. the curtains were drawn shut but the computer next to you was playing some music to keep you company.
you cleared your throat, hoping steve wasn’t here for the reason you thought. “yeah, i’m in here.”
“can i come in?” he asked politely.
damn you and your politeness, you thought not without a little bitterness. you had slipped off to the privacy of your room for a reason: to not be around anyone while you ate. with steve here, you were already feeling a little anxious despite his being your boyfriend whom you loved very much.
“yeah,” you replied, setting your half-finished dinner on the night table.
steve pushed the door open and let the light from the hallway illuminate your otherwise darkened room. he was wearing a white tank top, form fitting as always, and a pair of blue jeans. you couldn’t help but admire his body, for as many times as you saw it, it always made you awestruck.
“what are you doing in here all alone?” he wanted to know. “i missed you at dinner.”
you shrugged in reply, not meeting his eyes. steve could tell that something was bothering you, so he closed the door, turned on a lamp, and sat beside you on the bed.
“what’s on your mind?” he asked tentatively.
it took you a moment to meet his eyes which were waiting patiently for you. you tried to communicate your feelings through eye contact, but ultimately you knew you would have to tell him the truth at sometime or another.
“if i tell you, will you promise to keep it a secret?” you offered.
“of course,” he responded smoothly. “everything will stay between us.”
you nodded and took a deep breath. “i have trouble with eating, especially around people. it gives me lots of anxiety and makes me feel really uncomfortable.”
“can i ask why?”
no, your mind replied. you cannot ask why.
but you just sighed. “i feel like i’m constantly judged because i’m fat. everybody looks at me with this look in their eyes like i’m a lost puppy. like they feel sorry for me. i can’t take it anymore, steve. i can’t take the self-consciousness anymore and i don’t know how to feel normal. that’s all i’ve ever wanted but when you’re my size, it’s not that easy.”
steve’s eyes never left yours while you were speaking, which caused you to avert your gaze halfway through speaking. you didn’t want to look up at him, afraid you’ll see that lost-puppy-expression.
steve wasn’t one to pity, not at all. you weren’t sure why you were so self-conscious around your boyfriend. shouldn’t he be different than everyone else? shouldn’t he love and support you no matter what?
so why were you beginning to doubt him?
you shivered unwillingly. steve placed a large, warm hand on your cheek and cupped it, forcing you to look up at him.
there was no trace of pity in his eyes, but unbridled love and admiration for you. his demeanor was gentle, a little unsure, but mostly just supportive. he hated seeing you upset and was willing to do everything in his power to help you feel better.
“is that why you don’t usually eat meals with the team?” he asked.
you nodded in reply, feeling embarrassed that you’d been found out. “it’s just easier that way.”
“you know the team loves you, right? we’re blood, all of us. we’d never do anything to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable.”
“i know that,” you said with a hint of bitterness. “but it’s not so easy to believe that because no matter what, i always feel like i’m being judged. like, put under a microscope for everyone to pick apart my insecurities. that’s why i hate being around people.”
“has it always been like this?” he wanted to know.
“ever since i was younger, yeah. i just don’t know how to fix it, because more than anything i want to be able to eat with the team and eat around you without wanting to tear my skin off. i’m just...” you trailed off, feeling like a broken record. unwanted tears pricked at your eyes, but you held them in, not wanting to be more vulnerable in your boyfriend’s presence.
but steve was ever-observant and understood how emotional you were talking about this. he laid back on the bed and opened his arms to you so you could cuddle with him.
willingly, you obliged. he might not look it, but steve was the biggest cuddler and made for a great life-size teddy bear. there wasn’t a time when you didn’t want to be snuggled by him, wrapped in his large, protective arms and feeling his heartbeat against your skin.
steve ran his hands through your hair. “i love you so much, y/n. i want to be able to help you.”
his hands wandered all over your body, and it wasn’t long before he was tugging at the hem of your shirt asking for consent to feel your skin.
if there’s one thing steve loves more than cuddling, it’s feeling you. hands roaming all over your beautiful skin, caressing the stretch marks on your stomach and your arms. he never did anything without asking for consent first, which made you ecstatic and ever-the-more attracted to him. for there were many times when you did not want to be touched or felt, such as when you were having bad body anxiety that would only be exacerbated by human touch.
but this time, you welcomed it. you placed a hand on steve’s and guided him toward your most insecure parts, not quite sure where the newfound confidence came from.
“i want to see you happy. that’s my only goal.”
together you and him brushed over the stretch marks littered all over various parts of your body -- stomach, breasts, hips -- and listened to each other breathe in the silence that followed. your heart was going a mile a minute at the touch of steve’s skin on your own. he always had a way of doing that to you.
“so believe me when i say this: you are more beautiful than any thing in this world. you are more beautiful than the warmest sunrise, the most colorful sunset, the brightest stars in the sky. you don’t compare to anything else. and i know you have trouble believing me, but you’ve got to try, doll. try to believe that what i’m saying is true because if you could see what i see, you would believe it too.”
the rumbling of his voice combined with his hands moving all over you made your senses illuminate, made them burst with gratuity and warmth. for once, your mind was quiet, void of insecure thoughts and anxiety. it was only steve who could eradicate these horrible things. all you could focus on was him.
“steve,” you cooed.
he smiled gently. “y/n. i’m so in love with you it’s insane. when you’re feeling this way, it affects me too. i feel for you. your pain is mine and i want you to know that just because you look a certain way doesn’t make you any less deserving of love or happiness. you have just as much worth as everyone else. nothing, and i mean nothing, can take that worth away.”
by this time, silent tears were streaming down your cheeks.
“i love you, steve. for you, i’m going to try. i promise.”
he kissed your forehead and rested his head against yours. “you’re so brave, y/n. just remember that we’re all here for you. you have so many people who love and care for you, and who want you to be the best version of yourself. don’t lose sight of that, okay?”
you sniffled and snuggled closer to his chest. “okay.”
there was a moment of comfortable silence. you sort of regretted not telling steve about your eating troubles sooner, now that you knew how well he took it.
nighttime slowly descended, leaving the room sleepy and quiet. you closed your eyes and let yourself relax in steve’s embrace.
he never took his hands away from your skin the whole night.
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Marvel Characters- They Love Your Tummy
Various Marvel characters and how they love your tummy
Steve is gonna think your tummy is the cutest gosh darn thing in the world. Every time your t-shirt rides up slightly, he's gonna have to bite his tongue to keep from squealing in delight. Dress clings to your stomach? He thinks it's absolutely precious. If you don't like people touching you there he's gonna be respectful, of course, but goddamn is it gonna be hard when he just wants to show you how much he loves you.
Can and will poke at you with various implements. Not even just your tummy, anywhere he can reach, but it's a gentle reminder of 'hi, I'm here, you're here' and poking your stomach happens to be a way for him to get close to you without seeming like he was missing being close to you.
He knows that you sometimes don't like your tummy touched, so it's such a display of trust when you do. This is especially important when you let him touch you with his metal arm, the arm that has squeezed the trigger and the life out of people more times than he can count. He treasures those moments. However, with his flesh arm plus a mischevious mood? You're gonna get tickled, I'm sorry.
Your tummy is her safe space, where she can rest her head and feel like if you're here, nothing can go wrong. She's gonna plant the occasional kiss on your skin, expect many kisses if you're feeling insecure. She won't stand for any slander against any part of you, and will murmur praise against you- if she's feeling flirty, she will playfully nip at your stomach, leaving delicate little bites in the wake of her lips.
Wanda is a cuddlebug and I will hear nothing to the contrary- her hands wrapped around you while your face is at the perfect height for her to kiss incessantly? She is A-Okay with that. Hands running over you, over your waist, your hips, your tummy, and she's gonna smile when she smoothes her hands over the skin of your stomach. She would use it as a reminder to ask when you last ate, and if you haven't? She's gonna drag you to the kitchen and make you cook with her.
He adores the way your tummy looks, forever dressing you up in some of his Midguardian clothes to see how they look on you. Seeing his love flaunting themselves proudly in his clothes when he knows they might be insecure otherwise? Just about his favourite thing, ever.
Maybe he's not that into physical affection, but he'll never, ever admit that when it's just the two of you, lying in bed, late at night when everyone else is asleep and his head is down by your waist, face buried in your stomach? It's his favourite time, your hands in his hair as he places careful kisses along your skin, whispering promises you can barely even hear.
requested by @lilacprincessofrecovery thank you for the request! if anyone wants a part two with more characters, then you're more than welcome to ask!!
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In today's chapter Jo and Steve will work together! Will they finally get along or are things gonna get worse? 😥
Find out later today! 💜
I'll let you know when I post the new chapter 🥰
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Marvel fans! I call upon you to read my seggsy fan fiction, it's not shitty and I would really appreciate it if you could check it out 😂🙏🥺
Let me know what u think 💜
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Steve Rogers x Plus Sized!Reader
requested by @lilacprincessofrecovery thank you for requesting!
The soft light that filtered from behind the curtains settled on my eyelids. I almost didn’t want to open them, feeling at peace with the gentleness the early morning brought me. It was only when I heard a faint ‘click’ from somewhere in the room that I brought my hands to my face and rolled completely onto my back, wiping away the night before. Another ‘click’ and I opened my eyes.
My lovely boyfriend was sat cross-legged on the floor, holding a camera up to his face. I shifted so I was sitting up, and frowned at him.
“Honey?” I croaked, morning coating my vocal chords. “What the hell are you doing and why aren’t you cuddling me right now?”
Steve laughed softly, an attempt to not disrupt the certain level of quiet the early morning had laid upon the room. “I’m trying to take some photos. Banner helped me pick out a camera the other day after I mentioned I used to be fascinated with them in the 40s.”
“...wait, you’re trying to take photos? ...Of me? In the morning? While I’m asleep?” I asked, matching his soft tone.
He grimaced slightly. “Okay, when you say it like that it sounds... not good, I’ll admit b-but I just thought you looked s-so lovely and calm and I-I wanted to capture it-” Steve stuttered over some of his words, anxious to reassure me that his intentions were pure, no matter how it may look to an outsider. “L-look, I’ll show you-”
He got up to show me his camera screen and I immediately slapped my hand across my eyes to block it out. I heard Steve’s movements stop, and felt the aura of someone who isn’t sure what to do eminating from him. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
The concern in his voice made me feel slightly guilty, and the panic I’d felt at the thought of seeing photos of myself subsided slightly. “I’m sorry it’s just... y’know that I sometimes struggle with my body? And I know, I know you say I’m beautiful and being big and beautiful aren’t two separate things but-”
I felt Steve’s hand on mine and he gently pulled it away from my eyes. “-but you don’t like seeing photos of yourself, right?” He finished my sentence perfectly, and my eyes opened to meet his. There was understanding within his gorgeous baby blues, and I felt a surge of love for the man who understood me perfectly. He shifted slightly. “I... think I experience something similar.”
I nodded encouragingly.
“It’s just... it’s weird to see myself in photos, or in mirrors, like maybe that’s not me,” he said softly, exposing a vulnerability he’d never told me before. “In my head, I’m still that small, skinny kid from Brooklyn who couldn’t bring himself to back away from a fight even if he knew he’d lose. Then I look in a mirror and there’s a disconnect, somewhere. It takes a second to register that I’m looking at me, y’know?” He sighed. “I don’t even like what I see sometimes. I avoid looking in the mirror when I shower or when I have to pass reflective windows... it’s not as bad as what you’re feeling, I’ve seen that firsthand, but still...”
I lunged across the bed and hugged him tightly. Maybe my superhero understood me better than I thought. Maybe I experienced this worse than him, but it didn’t make his own experience any less valid. “Thank you for telling me, Steve. And I’m sure that to anyone else, the photos you took would be lovely,” I grinned. “After all, the lighting is doing wonders for you.”
My strong captain blushed and shook his head. “I think they’re lovely because they have you in them- and I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
i now headcanon that steve experiences a certain level of body dysmorphia due to the drastic changes of the serum
i really hope you liked it, i hope i dealt with a fairly sensitive subject matter well? thank you for requesting!
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Hi babe I have a request please 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
Would you write something with any Chris character where he and Y/N are celebrating an anniversary and they get engaged? I need some fluff in my life tbh 💖
Ofc anything for you bby!🥰🥰🥰
You’d know Steve for quite some time now, both of you falling head over heels for the other. It was safe to say after the almost 10 years you all had been together, the Avengers were wondering where your ring was.
Skip along to your 10 year anniversary, and you were starting to wonder the same thing your friends thought. Steve had booked a reservation at your favorite restaurant, even getting the roof top seating cleared for just the two of you.
“Steve you didn’t have to do all this…” you gasped, looking around at the empty rooftop. You walked to the edge of the railing, looking down at the beautiful city below you.
“I know, but I wanted something special…because tonight is going to be very special.” Steve said, a hint of nerves in his tone you detected.
You knew why when you turned around, and he was on one knee…
“Stevie,” you croaked, smiling so wide as you looked at the man you loved.
“Y/n, it’s been the best 10 years of my life. I wouldn’t trade them for anything…or anyone. You are the most beautiful woman in the world, you mean everything to me. You are my partner in crime, my best friend, and the love of my life. Would you please do me the honor of spending forever with me as your husband?” Steve asked, his speech warming your heart.
“Yes, yes!” you cried, letting Steve put the shiny engagement ring on.
You got down on your knees, hugging your arms around his neck tight. Tears of joy leaked from both of you, long professions of love spilling from your lips.
This was indeed a special night…
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Life Without Colour (PART SEVEN)
Soulmate AU: Your vision is in black and white until you meet your soulmate. You and your boyfriend, Steve Rogers, aren’t each others soulmates but you love each other. He introduces you to his friends, the Avengers, and a very odd thing happens.
Characters: Steve Rogers x Plus Size Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Female Reader
Warning: descriptions of violence, death, gunshot, blood, break in, bad guys, swearing, angst, dramatic
Note; hope u like it! this is OVER 8000 words!!!!!!
Taglist: @domainoflostsouls forgetthisbull handon-h-art yourspecialcrush giulsgotmusic mrsbarnes-rogers luosymekawa linzeyzarcone forgetthisbull calamityreads talgra marina-darling btsforlif lamoursansfin classic1985 lovesicksofi fandomsfallnomore thebivirgin classygladiatorcupcake lowlyapprentice mishafaye cececolbert trenchcoatedwhiskers
Hi, sweetheart. I’m writing this hurriedly just a short while before you leave so I apologise if it’s a little scattered and all over the place. If you’re reading this, it means that you have began to feel something for Bucky and that’s okay. Truly, it is okay. Please don’t blame yourself or feel guilty, I hope this letter eliminates those feelings.
When I realised that I’d need to send you and Bucky somewhere safe and secluded, I knew that I would be writing you a letter. I planned that letter out. I was going to write every single reason why I loved you and why I wanted you to stay loyal to me. I was going to tell you that growing up with Bucky caused me to feel slightly inferior because of his good looks and his charm and that I didn’t want that to be the case again. I was going to pour my heart out, asking you to stay with me and reliving our greatest hits through the past year together. It wasn’t until I sat down just a moment ago, I realised how selfish and unfair that would be of me to do to you. So, no, this letter will not be me begging and pleading you to stay with me... the opposite actually.
Right now, you are going through a high risk, highly stressful and emotional time in your life. You are in danger because of me, you are in a foreign place with someone that you only recently met and only recently discovered is your soulmate with no contact to me or the outside world and here I was, about to practically beg you to stay with me. You see, it would be so easy for me to write down and list why and how I came to fall in love with you; it would be so easy for me to ask you to stay and knowing you and knowing how fiercely loyal you are, I think you would stay had I asked... God, sweetheart, there’s a large part of me that wants to do that, that wants to beg you to choose me but I just can’t. What kind of person would I be had I sent you away knowing fine well that you would have conflicting feelings and then given you a letter begging you to ignore those feelings for your rightful soulmate? I’d be a fraud. You are going through a lot right now and I need to respect that, I need to respect how intense things are and how confusing it all is for you right now. I want to make your life as easy as possible, you might want nothing to do with Bucky and I or you might want space to figure things out...
So, (y/n), this is me writing you a letter and letting you go. Your decision is entirely your own to make and I cannot and will not have a say in that. You have to decide what you want and if you want to pursue things with Bucky then I will bow my head and take a step back. If you want to continue to be with me, I will smile and hold you tight and we can continue from where we left things. If you choose something else, I will absolutely respect that. I wish I could be with you right now, I know that you’ll be stressed out and I just want to help you, sweetheart. In order for you to make your choice, you need a clean slate so... I’m letting you so, sweetheart. I say that as though you have to pick one of us, you don’t and you certainly don’t need my permission to have feelings for Bucky but I thought this letter might help... or maybe it’ll make things more confusing. Ugh, I’m usually good with my words but I just can’t seem to get it right. What I want to say is... if you wanted to pursue things with Bucky then you have my blessing, sweetheart. You and Bucky both have my blessing and I do not want either of you to feel guilty about it because you didn’t choose for this to happen.
Bucky’s a good man, (y/n), and when he cares about someone, he will love them with his whole heart. He’s been through so much in his life and he has built his walls up so high but I know that you could help him. You are just what he needs. You are so kind, loving and caring; you’re exactly the gentle sort of person he needs right now. When he gets scared, he lashes out, ignore that, he doesn’t mean it. I’ve known Bucky a long time and I know that he’ll protect you and keep you safe so please, try to trust him and show him that he can trust you. I don’t know how Bucky feels but, sweetheart, if he’s anything like me then he would’ve fallen for you the moment he met you at Tony’s party. You don’t give yourself enough credit, sweetheart. You are so beautiful, so worth it and so goddamn important. Do not let anyone treat you as though you’re less than what you are. You don’t need my approval or Bucky’s or anyone’s, you just need your own, sweetheart. You have helped me so much, you have shown me how to trust and how to love even despite all odds and we had it good, didn’t we, sweetheart? We had a pretty good year and if that’s all we have then I will be so thankful for the rest of my life that I got to spend that little year of perfection and happiness with you. I never wanted you to be in danger and I never thought that I would have to send you away to keep you safe but I hope you know how sorry I am for causing this. I am going to make it right, I will make it right so that you can come home and be happy. You deserve so much love and happiness. Remember that you are so loved. It’s going to be hard and I cannot imagine how hard it is right now with conflicting feelings but you’re (y/n) and you are going to be okay.
I love you, you know how much I love and care about you, but I will not try and beg you to stay with me or persuade you with all of the fun times we had together (not even by retelling the story of the old man and his cat down the hall). I wish that things could have been different, I wish that Rumlow and his men hadn’t have found you but they did and I had to protect you. So, I’m letting you go, (y/n). You will always have a place in my heart and I will always love you and I will always be here to support you but I’m letting you go because that’s what needs to happen in order for you to make your decision. I don’t blame you for your feelings and I won’t blame you for the choice that you make. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, (y/n), so be happy and don’t you dare feel bad about it.
Take care of yourself, sweetheart. Take care of Bucky for me, too.
Yours with love,
Over the course of that night, you read the letter over and over again, drinking in every single letter of every single word. It felt comforting to see Steve’s writing, to have something that was familiar with the slightest hint of his cologne. The contents of the letter made you sad, made you smile but ultimately, just made you even more conflicted than you already were. He was so sweet and that just made it worse that he was so forgiving and so kind. You didn’t ask for this, you didn’t want to have feelings for Bucky at all but... you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t control your heart, you couldn’t stop the feelings even if you tried. Steve’s letter was letting you go, did that mean the two of you were broken up or on a break? Oh, god, not a Ross and Rachel situation.
You barely slept that night, mind reeling and body in a clammy sweat because of how stressed you were. You had no idea what to feel, what to think or what to do. You and Steve had been together for a year and you had only known Bucky a few weeks but still, you tossed and turned thoughts full of questions and no answers. You had sworn to yourself that you would never fall for Bucky Barnes but you couldn’t control your heart, you couldn’t force yourself to forget those feelings and you couldn’t force yourself to care for Steve more. You loved Steve, you were in love with Steve, you weren’t in love with Bucky... were you? You had strong feelings for him, sure, but you hadn’t fallen in love yet. You didn’t want to hurt Steve, you really didn’t, but you felt like you couldn’t be with Steve fully if you had feelings for Bucky... You didn’t want it to be a contest like a stupid love triangle like in a stupid movie. You would rather have neither of them before you had them both competing for your love and attention. Right now, your heart still belonged to Steve and as you tried to get comfortable, you decided that your relationship was worth fighting for. Bucky was convenient because he was here and you were lonely and you kind of latched onto that but it wouldn’t work, it wouldn’t last because you were too different. Steve was the safe choice, the comfortable choice.
You tossed the blanket off of you and frowned at the ceiling. It was as you went to get out of bed that you heard a yell from Bucky’s room. Quickly, you shot upwards and rushed out of the bedroom, throwing Bucky’s bedroom door open and turning the light on. He on the floor, legs tangled in the knitted blanket, a thin sheen of sweat coated his torso as he panted and looked up at you. He looked so different than usual, he looked... sad, broken? He looked lost. He’d had another nightmare. You gave a breath of relief as you saw him awake, terrified but awake and alive.
“I woke you up?” He asked, breathing heavy as he focused on his hands, counting them once, twice and three times; a tactic that kept him grounded and made him come back to reality instead of focusing on his nightmare.
You shook your head, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“What was that one about?”
Bucky puffed out a long breath before answering you, “My Winter Soldier days. This one was a memory of a man I killed a long time ago. He didn’t deserve it, he wasn’t my target... he was just in the way.”
“Oh.” You swallowed, “Are you okay?”
Bucky rubbed at his face tiredly, “Yeah, I’m amazing.” Sarcastic bugger. Your face fell and Bucky quickly realised that now wasn’t a time to be a dick, “Sorry. I’ll be okay. You don’t have to stay, honestly, I’ll be fine.”
You watched him with narrow eyes before disappearing out of the room. Bucky frowned, thinking it was a little weird that you’d go back to bed without so much as a goodbye. It wasn’t until a minute later, you came back carrying two glasses of water that he realised you weren’t leaving at all, “Drink,” you urged him as you handed him the water, “My mom always told me that drinking water after a bad dream or nightmare would cleanse your mind and make you sleep better. Load of crap but it’s a placebo effect so just drink up.”
Bucky gave a small laugh before he took a long drink. He was glad that you came back, despite what he had said, he hated being alone after having a nightmare. It was nice to have company. You walked around him and climbed onto his untouched bed as you sipped your own water. He barely managed to hide his surprise at you so casually hopping onto his bed, “Can I ask why you were awake at this time?” He asked.
You faltered and decided to opt for something that wasn’t a lie but wasn’t the full truth either, “I couldn’t seem to shut my mind off... too much going on in there tonight,” you tapped the side of your head once before taking another sip of water. It was then that Bucky was very aware that he only had a pair of boxers on, it seemed like you hadn’t even noticed. He sat up straighter, pulling the blanket around himself. “I already saw that you’re half naked, Buck. No point hiding now.” You turned away with a smirk as he pulled the blanket around himself.
Bucky tried to fight the smile but couldn’t, “You really don’t need to stay, you know.”
“I know. I don’t feel like going yet.” Bucky nodded, moving so that he was leaning against the wall, looking at you. You scooted backwards, resting against the headboard, “Tell me about Wakanda.” His eyebrow quirked in amusement but he complied.
He began to tell you about Wakanda. He told you about T’Challa and what kind of leader he was, he spoke fondly of Shuri and her intelligence, he spoke a lot about the Dora Milaje and how he trained with them most days. He spoke for ages, telling you about how Wakanda was so different to anything he could’ve imagined. He tried to tell you about the technology but then gave up half way through saying ‘I barely understood 40s tech, I don’t understand modern tech and Wakanda tech is way more advanced than tech here so I have no fucking clue but it was cool!’.
“Why did you come back to New York?” You asked, glancing over at him, “Not to sound rude, just curious.”
“It was time,” he said with a sigh, “I’d been free from the mind control of Hydra for a while and it was time to reintroduce myself to civilisation.”
You snorted a laugh, “Look where that got you. A soulmate who’s dating your best friend and now you’re stuck with me. Bet you’re glad you left Wakanda.”
Bucky sat watching you with that intense, serious stare that made you shift nervously. When he stared at you like that, you couldn’t read him; you had no idea what was going through his mind in that moment and it terrified you. You always prided yourself on being able to read other people well but with Bucky, it was near impossible. When he eventually spoke, it surprised you, “I am glad, actually.” You didn’t really know how to respond so instead you looked down to your hands. What did it mean? Did it mean that he was simply just glad to get back to normality after being in Wakanda? Did it mean that he was glad to have met you even despite the situation? Did it mean that he was glad to be here with you? You had no idea and honestly... you didn’t feel like asking for clarification. You were struggling enough with your own feelings for him, you didn’t need to confuse yourself with how he felt towards you.
It was a few moments later before you asked him something else, “Why do you get called Bucky?”
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I’ve always been called Bucky,” he shrugged.
“Can I call you James?”
He nodded, “If you want.”
“James Buchanan Barnes,” you mulled his name over in your mouth, seeing how it felt. Bucky didn’t know why it sounded so nice to hear you say his name, “When’s your birthday?”
“Born 10th March 1917.” The two of you were unsure as to why it was like a game of twenty questions but you were distracting yourself from the questions you had surrounding your feelings and it was distracting Bucky from thinking about his nightmares.
“God, you’re old... looking good for being over one hundred though,” you teased with a laugh. Bucky gave a quiet laugh and agreed with you. You began to ask him more questions, finding it was a good way to take your mind off of the feelings you had and the letter. The pair of you spoke about everything and nothing simultaneously. His favourite colour was blue, ‘a dark navy blue not that sky blue shit’, his favourite modern day invention was food delivery apps, ‘I can order that shit from my phone and they’ll leave it on the doorstep so I don’t even need to talk to them, amazing!’.
It was around an hour later when you lay down on the bed, “Can I sleep in here tonight?” You asked him, eyes already closed, “I don’t feel like being alone tonight.” You knew that you probably shouldn’t have. You knew it was against your better judgement but you would sleep on the bed and Bucky would sleep on the floor. You wouldn’t be near each other like that, you just needed to be near someone; you needed to know that you weren’t alone and that someone was there, even if that person turned out to be Bucky Barnes, your soulmate. You and Bucky were friends, that was it. You were friends... who were you trying to convince? Yourself?
“Actually... I don’t feel like being alone tonight either.” It was an innocent conversation but Bucky could feel the balance shifting from beneath him, the trust that was gradually being formed like stepping stones across a river. He could almost reach the other side of the river and he was nearly to you. It scared him. He didn’t trust easy, especially after Hydra, but with you... it was still scary but it felt okay, in fact, it almost felt good.
“Can you read to me?” You asked him, “I always listen to an audiobook, usually the Hobbit audiobook to sleep... I like having noise. Will you read to me?”
“I don’t really know what you just said but I’ll read The Hobbit to you.” He grabbed his copy from the beside cabinet and began to read the words to you, “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” It felt weirdly intimate, reading to you as you slept in his bed. It felt almost too intimate and yet, Bucky still read to you. His voice was nice to listen to, deep but soft.
You breathed slowly as you let the words carry you away to sleep, “G’night... James...” you said softly before falling asleep.
Bucky faltered, glancing at you, looking at how peaceful you looked as you snored slightly before smiling and standing up. He put the book back carefully and turned the light out before moving to you. He watched you for a moment, drinking in how peaceful and quiet you were as you slept in his bed. It was innocent, two friends sharing a room because they were lonely and bored. That was all it was. You slept in the bed and he was on the floor, there was nothing sexual or creepy or romantic at all going on.
That was until Bucky lay back down, wrapping his body under the blanket and all he could think was three words. Three words that he tried to push away, tried to ignore but they came back almost screaming in his mind. He had dreaded this moment ever since seeing colour. As he lay in the dark, he succumbed to the thought and finally allowed himself to whisper it into the darkness of the night.
“I love you.”
“Do you know self defence?” Bucky asked you a day later as you both sat in the living room reading.
“Kind of?” You shrugged, “Nat taught me how to throw a basic punch. If anything was to happen, I think I would probably just cry, forget everything and run away.”
Bucky frowned thinking that it wasn’t good enough, he needed to teach you something, “Come with me.” He moved to the painting where the safe was and punched in 0407 before pulling the gun out.
Instantly, you leapt backwards, “No way in hell, Bucky!”
He rolled his eyes, “You need to know how to use it.”
“Just in case something happens.”
“If something happens, I have you to protect me!”
Bucky scoffed, “Come on, princess, what if something was to happen to me?” The nickname made an eruption of butterflies fly wildly around your stomach.
The thought of something happening to Bucky was a thought that you’d not thought of, a thought that now set alight a whole new bunch of worries, “I don’t like guns,” you whined pathetically as you followed Bucky outside and out to the great outdoors. He told you ‘tough’ before leading you out to the thick green woods where no one would hear the gunshots ring.
Despite your hesitation and your worries, you allowed Bucky to teach you the basics of the gun. He taught you about how to hold it, about making sure to turn the safety off and on, about the pull of the trigger and about how to reload if you needed to. Bucky went through all of this with you over and over until you felt confident enough to try it yourself. You fumbled at first but as you practiced unloading and reloading and making sure you were holding it correctly, it got a lot easier.
“Now, pull the trigger,” Bucky instructed.
“I don’t want to,” you said as you shook your head, “I know how to and if it comes to it, I will but right now, I don’t want to.”
Bucky stepped towards you, “What if I was a bad guy standing in front of you right now? You say that you would pull the trigger but what if you can’t? What if you freeze up?” He was standing in front of the gun, the nozzle pressing against his chest, “You have to shoot it. There will always be hesitation but you need to do it.” You shook your head again and Bucky sighed, “Please, (y/n)... I need to know that you know exactly what to do if you need to.”
You took a deep breath before sniffing and nodding, “I can’t shoot it when you’re in the way though. That’s murder.”
Bucky smirked slightly before stepping out of the way, “You know what to do?”
You nodded and took another few breaths before aiming for the tree about twenty feet in front of you. Bucky watched you carefully, he could see how much you didn’t want to do it but he admired that even though you would’ve rather have done anything besides this, you were still doing it.
You took one final breath before squeezing the trigger and shooting. The gunshot was louder than you expected, echoing in the dense woods. You jumped at the recoil of the gun, not expecting it to be so powerful. You had shot the middle of the tree perfectly. Bucky smiled, “Not so bad, right?”
“Fucking terrifying,” you said as you let out a breathy laugh. Bucky asked if you wanted to shoot again, just for one last practice. You nodded and aimed for the same spot. It wasn’t as terrifying second time around, this time you knew the noise and the hit back but it was still scary. Quickly, you turned the safety off before slamming the gun back into Bucky’s hands, “No more.”
Bucky smiled, “You did it!” He said as you began to walk away, “You should be proud. Tomorrow we’ll practice throwing a punch.”
“Couldn’t we have started with that?”
“Decided to throw you in the deep end.” He smiled as you rolled your eyes with the hint of a smile on your face, “I’m kidding... How do you feel?”
“Like I need to go lie down,” you muttered quietly before shrugging, “Thank you for pushing me to do it but for the love of god, if anything happens, you have to protect me because it’s fucking terrifying.”
“Let’s just hope that it doesn’t come to that.”
A few days had passed with you and Bucky growing closer and closer. He’d taken you into town a couple more times just to do some grocery shopping. You weren’t as bored as you usually were because now, you had Bucky. The pair of you spoke a lot more, sharing stories from your past and you catching Bucky up on modern day times. The dynamic the pair of you had was good, friendly with hints of something else bubbling under the surface. After learning how to shoot the gun, he didn’t bother teaching you about throwing a punch because you knew how to shoot and that was the main thing. If you could shoot, you could survive.
It was one night as you slept that something happened. Something bad and something terrifying. You could hear the creaks of the floorboards, it was dead silent in the cabin so you could hear everything that went on. You rolled over in bed, assuming that it was Bucky getting up during the night for something... until, a hand clamped over your mouth and a rough hand was pulling you upwards and out of bed.
Your eyes shot open, automatically kicking and trying to scream when the person hissed a, “Shh! It’s me, it’s Bucky!” Your heart was racing, instantly going back to when Rumlow and his men had kidnapped you the same way. Bucky saw your wide eyes and realised that he’d triggered something that wasn’t just fear; he recognised the real and very genuine trauma in your eyes. He slowly released you not wanting to further any discomfort but put a finger over his lips, a silent motion to be quiet. Your eyes were wide and already, your hands were clammy. What the fuck was going on?
It was then you heard the gruff voice of someone from somewhere else in the cabin, “Yeah, they’re definitely here. Call for more back-up.” You could practically feel yourself blanching as you stared hopelessly at Bucky. Bucky’s face was hard as he glanced at you. You were fucking terrified and he knew that but this is why he was here; to protect you and to keep you safe long enough until you could get back to Steve. He had no idea how they’d found you both so quickly. He held up two fingers mouthing ‘two agents’. There were only two right now and that was okay, Bucky could deal with two by himself. He could deal with more but when he had to protect you simultaneously, he could only deal with a couple of agents.
Your whole body trembled with fear as adrenaline began to rush through your veins. You were definitely in flight or fight mode and my god, you wanted to take flight and run away. It was Bucky who pulled you back to the ground, placing his hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, tears in your eyes. God, you hated feelings this way; you hated feeling so powerless. You knew how to shoot a gun, yes, but you weren’t fully prepared for a full on fucking attack! This shouldn’t have been happening, what was happening? Was it Hydra? Had they found the two of you? How would they have found you so fast?
Bucky crouched so that he was looking directly into your eyes, “We’re gonna be okay,” he whispered quietly, “I need you to hide.” You shook your head frantically, grabbing at his arm desperately. You didn’t want him to leave you. Had it been under different circumstances, Bucky would’ve been smirking at you.
Bucky gave your arm a reassuring squeeze as the deep murmurs grew closer and closer to the bedrooms. Bucky helped you climb into the wardrobe and closed the door. Of course, it would be the closet you hid in; ultimately the worst hiding place in the world though it was the only place in your bedroom that you could hide. Your heart was racing as Bucky closed those closet doors and so much for your claustrophobia. You squeezed your eyes closed as you tried your best to steady your breathing. I’m going to die. This is it. I’m going to die in a cabin in the woods. Holy fucking shit, I’m going to die.
Bucky withdrew his knife from his ankle, he was going for a stealth attack so the quieter the weapon, the better. He knew that there were two men, potentially more on the way, but right now, two was absolutely okay to deal with. This is what Bucky was trained to do; he was the Winter Soldier, a secret assassin and his mission was to keep you safe. The only difference was that Bucky didn’t need the code words to do the job. Bucky would keep you safe and make sure that you were okay, he had to; there was no other option.
The house was quiet as Bucky crept towards the bedroom door, standing at the side. He would stay here, waiting for one of them to walk in before stealth attacking. A creak sounded from a few steps outside of your bedroom door. Bucky’s eyes shot towards the closet, he couldn’t see you and couldn’t hear you but my god, he wished that he could grab you and run with you. He knew that you would be terrified, the only saving grace in this situation was that he’d been able to at least show you how to shoot the gun. If it came down to it, at least Bucky knew that you would be able to protect yourself... he just hoped that if it had to come down to it, you would find the courage to shoot.
The door slowly began to creak open and Bucky stayed hidden in the shadows until the Hydra agent was fully inside of the bedroom. It was then that Bucky carefully closed the door behind him. The Hydra agent wore dark with a dark cap and a mask that covered half of his face. You couldn’t really see much but to be honest, you didn’t want to see much. Clamping your hand over your mouth to try and limit any noise, you squeezed your eyes shut. Your heart hammered against your chest, almost painfully, and you were almost kind of paranoid that the Hydra agent would be able to hear your heart thundering against your ribcage. You closed your eyes at exactly the right time as Bucky lunged for the agent.
In one smooth motion, Bucky had grabbed the agent’s head on either side and with a fluid movement, snapped his neck. The crack made your stomach churn and made tears well in your eyes. Bile rose in your throat but you swallowed and forced it back down. You had to stay calm. It was much louder and harsher than you’d ever expected not that you had thought about a neck breaking that much. Bucky gently led the now limp agent to the bed and laid him on it. Yep, never touching that blanket again.
“You okay?” Bucky asked, voice a husky whisper in the dead of night.
You sniffed in response and that was all Bucky needed to know that you weren’t doing okay at all. He hadn’t expected you to be okay with the events, the most drama you’d witnessed was someone stealing a pizza from the pizza shop down the road from yours and Steve’s apartment. That and Tony trying to pick a fight with an empty Iron Man suit. You’d never been around a lot of violence, Steve shielded you from that part of his life but now, you were forced to see it and take part.
Bucky moved towards the closet, not realising that the second agent was looming in the doorway. You squinted through the tiny crack, most of your vision that you could see from the gap was Bucky but as you squinted, you could see a figure sneaking up from behind Bucky. Your eyes widened and you let out a scream of, “BEHIND YOU!” It had been a rookie move on Bucky’s part, he knew better but he needed to check on you and needed to make sure that you were okay. His downfall was you.
Bucky spun but was too late, the Hydra agent raised the object that he had and shot it. It wasn’t a gun, it was electric? What the fuck? It was like a taser that shot out and wrapped around Bucky and buzzed and hissed; much like an electric belt. Bucky’s body convulsed as he was knocked to the other side of the room. He tried to fight it but the more he fought, the worse the pain was. He could feel the darkness trying so desperately to take over his vision but he fought, he fought because he had to. He needed to save you, he had to fight it and protect you. All that stood between you and the Hydra agent was a closet door and now the agent knew that you were in the there. Bucky tried and he tried so hard but the pain of every muscle in his body convulsing was too much and he began to lose his consciousness.
This was it. This is where I die. The Hydra agent was three steps away and he knew where you were, this was it. This was it. Fight or flight. Fight or die. There was nothing in the closet except you and some hangers. Quickly, you grabbed some of the hangers, they wouldn’t do much damage but they’d be annoying and get in the way. If you could get a hanger attached to the electric shooting taser thing, it might make it harder to use. Being a bigger woman, you decided to use your extra weight and extra might to your advantage. You had to, it was your only weapon.
His hands reached for the door handles but you didn’t give him the chance to open it. You pushed yourself to the back of the closet as though preparing to run a race in the Olympics and steadied your body before leaping and bursting through the door with all of the strength you could muster. It was like watching a lion pounce on its prey; you roared loudly and leapt. The doors flew open and the Hydra agent absolutely hadn’t been expecting a roaring plus size woman to leap from the closet. The last thing Bucky saw before he let the darkness take over was you toppling into the agent and knocking him to the ground armed with various coat hangers. The agent gasped for breath, the impact winding him, heh, take that motherfucker, and quickly, whilst you used that to your advantage you looped some coat hangers on his weapon. It wouldn’t stop him from using it but it would take at least 15 seconds to get them off. You didn’t spare a glance to the dead agent that lay sprawled on your bed. You couldn’t.
Quickly, you clambered to get off of the agent. Your heart was beating fast but you had no time to think about how terrified you were; you just had to survive. You slammed the door shut, thinking that any obstacle would be good. You had to get to the safe, you needed to be able to protect yourself. Safe, 0407, gun, safety off, aim, shoot. You repeated the steps in your head as a mantra over and over again. You threw open the bathroom door (which opened outwards) to cause another disruption. You could hear the agent clambering to get up, coat hangers falling to the ground, he was seconds away from coming to get you.
With bare feet slapping the hardwood floors, you grabbed the painting from the wall and chucked it backwards behind you. The Hydra agent was thundering down the hallway. With violently shaking hands, you punched in 0408 - “Shit!” - quickly, you punched the ‘CLEAR ALL’ button before trying again, 0407 and throwing it open grabbing the gun and darting to the other side of the living room just as the Hydra agent burst into the living room, panting and angry.
He gave a loud laugh as he watched your shaking hands try to flick the safety off, “What’s Captain America’s girlfriend going to do? She gonna shoot me? Really?” He scoffed. He expected you to be weak, expected you to give up easily. Now, you were crying and you were terrified and sure, you weren’t very strong but you would never just give up. You would fight with what little strength you had and you would try you goddamn hardest to survive.
You flicked the safety off and threw your arms out, readying your aim to point at the Hydra agent. It was when you looked at him that it really sunk in what was happening right now. Your eyes darted between the gun and the agent and you could feel the tears burning in your eyes. You couldn’t do this. You thought you could but you couldn’t; you weren’t strong enough and the Hydra agent knew it. He laughed again, throwing his hands up and walking closer. He was a hulking brute of a man, easily over six foot, towering over you. You couldn’t launch yourself at him now, he would be prepared for it and you couldn’t fight your way out of this. You weren’t fast as running, he would catch you. Your whole body trembled as adrenaline pounded blood through your veins.
“I can’t wait to see this,” he smirked, stopping about two metres away from you. He held his up and you couldn’t see a weapon on him. He was expecting you to be weak, expecting you to drop the gun and freak out and let him take you away willingly, “Captain America’s girlfriend isn’t going to shoot me.” Your eyes darted to the hallway, trying to will Bucky to appear. The agent smirked, “Your other boyfriend will wake up just in time to see you either bleeding out on the floor or taken to Rumlow, depends if you want to do this the easy or the hard way.”
He took a step closer and you raised the gun yelling, “Stay back!”
He rolled his eyes, “You’re not going to shoot me. You’re weak, you’re nothing without your boyfriends protecting you,” he began to reach behind his back, hand wrapping around his concealed weapon, “You’re nothi-”
The gunshot wasn’t the most disturbing part. Oh no, the most disturbing part were two different sounds. The first was the bloodcurdling gurgle that came from his throat as his blood was forced upwards until it spilled out and bubbled from his mouth. You watched in horror as his eyes were wide with fear as he clutched at his stomach. You had shot him. You’d really, genuinely shot him. Bucky had told you to either aim for the stomach or the heart. You picked the stomach, bigger target and with trembling hands, easier to get right. Blood poured out of him at a speed much greater than you could have ever thought. It was already pooling on the floor like red hands seeping and reaching out to cover everything in its way. The man took a few gurgling breaths. The second disturbing sound was as his body collapsed to the floor with a horrifying thud as he began to bleed out onto the floor, barely holding onto consciousness.
Your hands trembled violently, gripping the gun with all of your strength, arms still outstretched, staring at the man on the floor. He had been trying to kill you, trying to kill Bucky and you did what Bucky taught you... you used the gun, you shot and... he was going to die. He was losing blood at a rapid pace and you were no doctor but you’d seen plenty episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Criminal Minds to know that he had mere minutes left. The world around you began to slip away as you stared at the body, eyes wide and watering from the shock and lack of blinking, it felt like time stopped and all noise around you stopped. It felt like you were underwater, as though you’d jumped into the sea, sinking deeper and deeper, the world getting more faded and faint with every passing second.
As Bucky groggily came to, the gunshot radiated through the cabin. No. He rolled over with a grunt, wooziness crashing over him like a wave. His world spun as he flipped onto his front and scrambled to climb upwards as he tore the electric wire which had stopped electrocuting him and chucked it to the floor, “(y/n)...” he murmured softly as he fell against the bedroom wall, struggling to stand. His vision was blurred and hard to focus and it felt like the world tilted a new direction every second. Bucky stumbled forwards, grabbing out to catch onto the doorframe to hold himself up with, “(y/n).” Every muscle in his body ached painfully, burning with every movement and every breath but he pushed through. He had to get to you. He had to get to you to see what had happened. The gunshot woke him up and where did the gunshot come from? Who shot a gun? Who... Who got shot? Bucky didn’t dare think of the answer being you. Right now, he couldn’t. He had to get to you, had to protect you and make sure that you were okay. This is why he was here; he had to protect you, he had to make sure that you survived this. So far, he’d done a piss poor job at protecting you and now, he just needed to see you.
He called out for you as his vision slowly began to focus again. He took a tentative step forwards and then another, the world began to stop swaying. He stumbled once but with every step forwards, the fuzziness began to fade and he began to pick up speed. He burst into his bedroom, “(y/n)?” Nothing. He turned on his heel, “(y/n)?!” He yelled before bursting through into the living room.
You were stood, frozen in place, arms outstretched as you clutched the gun. Bucky scanned the room. The safe was open, you’d grabbed the gun from there and... on the floor lay the barely alive Hydra agent. Bucky carefully stepped over to you, repeating your name. He could tell that you were in shock. When he was at your side, he could see how violently you were shaking, how you gripped the gun in a white knuckled grip and how tears slipped down your cheek every second. You were alive, you were safe but... at what cost?
“(y/n),” Bucky’s voice was loud, enough to break you from the trance but not enough to scare you. He grabbed your shoulders and stepped in front of you, blocking your vision from the body on the floor, “(y/n), you need to give me the gun.” Bucky had stepped in front of you to hide the body from your view but the gun was pressed against his chest, exactly where his heart was.
You blinked. Once. Twice. The gun. You looked to the gun and realised that it was pointed at Bucky. He repeated to give him the gun. You opened your mouth, trying to form some sort of coherent sentence, “I-I-I-”
“It’s okay, (y/n),” Bucky said, voice gentle for such an intense situation, “It’s okay...” He knew you and he knew that you wouldn’t be able to cope with this situation alone, he needed to be there for you.
“Is he- Is he-”
“No, not yet.”
“But- but he’s going to- he will-”
Bucky sighed, “(y/n), I’m going to take this gun from you now, okay? You need to give me the gun.” He paused, taking your silence as an agreement, before carefully and slowly prying your fingers from the gun. Once he’d taken it from you, he turned the safety on and slid it into the waistband of his jeans all the while watching you carefully.
Your heart pounded painfully against your ribs as adrenaline coursed through your veins. Your mind whirred unable to focus on anything, “I killed him.”
“No,” Bucky said, “he’s not dead.”
“He will be and once he’s- once he’s dead... I killed him.”
Bucky sighed before he shook his head, “No, I did. I killed him.”
It took you a second to comprehend what he said but in that second, Bucky had grabbed the gun from his waistband, turned safety off and shot the almost dead Hydra agent right in between the eyes. Bucky still shielded you from the body but you knew what happened. The gunshot made you jump harshly, causing a new wave of fresh tears to well in your eyes. Bucky turned to you, once again, pocketing the gun, “I killed him, see? I killed him, (y/n).”
“But- but...” You couldn’t understand. You were in shock and you couldn’t process or comprehend his actions. Bucky crouched down, forcing you to look him in the eyes as he spoke to you.
“I killed him. I’m taking all of the blame from you and putting it on me. What you did was self defence, you were shooting an intruder; I was the one who killed him. It’s okay. It’s okay now.” Bucky had shot him, Bucky had killed him for you. Bucky knew and understood the guilt of taking someone’s life and he couldn’t bare to see you take on that guilt. He knew that it would crush you, you were too good of a person to have that darkness in your heart and in your soul. You were too good and he... well, what was one more? Bucky knew that if he hadn’t have killed him, you would’ve let the guilt destroy you... at least he knew how to cope and deal with it.
You broke down then. That kind of loud, wailing, ugly sobbing that you can’t control and you can’t stop. Your knees gave but Bucky was there to catch you. He easily caught you, pulling you up and to his chest. He held you tightly, holding you as you sobbed into his shirt. His head fell to yours, breathing in the smell of your shampoo from your hair as you cried. When Steve sent you away, this isn’t what anyone had in mind would happen. Hydra had found you and Bucky somehow and now... you were in more danger than ever before. He held you like that for a few minutes until you had calmed down. You could hear Bucky’s heart beating slow and steady, even under a high pressure situation he could still keep his composure. You stayed in his arms, listening to his beating heart, timing your breaths to match his. Bucky’s arms held you tightly, one around your back and the other holding your head to his chest. You took a long slow breath before feeling ready to pull away. Slowly, you pulled back and it was as you did so, something changed.
Things had been changing for weeks, dynamics and feelings had been developing and changing a lot recently but it was in this moment that things really began to fall into place, “(y/n)…” Bucky whispered softly. You noticed that his breathing changed, faster and more shallow; more erratic than the slow steadiness only mere seconds before. You eyes stared into his dark shirt and it felt like the moment of seeing colour for the first time again though... this is how it should have felt, “Look at me.”
You didn’t want to look. You knew what was going to happen; Bucky knew what was about to happen too. You knew what seeing those blue eyes would do and you couldn’t bear it. Bucky’s hand moved from your hair to your cheek, delicately wiping away a tear. When his skin touched yours, you gasped, a feeling that you’d never felt before tickling at your skin. It felt electric almost like you were being touched for the first time. The shock reverberated through your cheek and to the rest of your body. You could truly feel the ‘pull’ that they spoke of.
Bucky took a deep breath, feeling strangely overwhelmed. The pull had never been stronger and he knew that in this moment, you could feel it too. You could feel the feelings of what soulmates should feel like. In this moment, nothing else mattered except him and you. He said your name again and slowly, so painfully slowly, your eyes began to look upwards. You almost couldn’t stop yourself from looking, it was inevitable... it had always been inevitable. You sucked in a deep breath when you reached his eyes. They were so unbelievably piercing and they were so blue. Bucky’s eyes had been the first colour you had ever seen before and now, here they were when you most needed them. Everything faded away and it was just you and Bucky, it was just those eyes of his. Your breathing began to slow as you found yourself tilting into his hands on your cheek, wanting to feel him touch your cheek fully. Bucky’s eyes flickered to look at your lips and then to your eyes and then again.
“Bucky...” you whispered, voice barely more than a whisper. Hidden in the whisper was three quiet words... I love you.
Bucky moved closer so slightly, just enough that you could feel his breath tickling your face. Your heart skipped a beat. You wanted him to kiss you. You wanted to kiss him. Suddenly, nothing mattered; it was just you and Bucky. He frowned slightly as he glanced between your lips and your eyes. The desire to kiss you was so strong and you were right there but... his hand fell from your cheek to his side and he cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from yours to check the time, “We gotta go.”
You snapped back to reality in that moment and a wave of guilt crashed over you. Steve. Oh my god, Steve. Bucky stepped backwards, “We gotta go,” he repeated, without giving you a minute to process, “If two agents found us that means that they aren’t far away. We gotta go... now.” He didn’t give you another second and instead, repeated that you had to move now. There was no time to waste anymore, it was now or never. Bucky shielded your view from the body on the floor, he didn’t want you to see the gory mess but he couldn’t hide you from the body in the bedroom.
Silently, you and Bucky rushed around the cabin, grabbing your essentials. You grabbed your duffel bags, abandoning the blanket and cushion and Bucky grabbed his bag, blanket and your photo of you and Steve. As he held the photo, waiting for you to grab one last thing, he glanced down at it and felt a pang of guilt. He was in love with his best friend’s girl and he knew that you were in love with him too. You appeared a second later, clutching at The Hobbit, Bucky’s copy that he’d read to you, and an envelope in the order - Steve’s letter. The two of you nodded at each other and then without a word, you left the cabin for the final time.
The black SUV from the two agents was still parked out front and you both knew that there would be more on the way. You piled into the car with Bucky after he checked for any tracking devices before he began to drive. Your mind raced almost as fast as Bucky drove the car. He was silent, thinking about how they could’ve possibly found the two of you. They must’ve checked airport footage already and from there tracked you, maybe the hire car worker had given them the car information and they’d tracked it... he didn’t know. In your hands you held two things, one was The Hobbit that Bucky had read to you and the other was Steve’s letter. You clutched them tightly, so tightly that your hands cramped around them. As Bucky drove, all you could do was stare out of the window, watching in shock as the world whooshed by you.
“Where are we going?” You asked Bucky hoarsely.
He glanced at you, “We’re going home.”
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Jo Fey is a formidable woman, she struggled for years and her powers were getting out of control, she was under the radar of the Avengers and now has to deal with all the drama, will she find love or only more trouble?
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A Steve Rogers x plus sized!Reader for @lilacprincessofrecovery
‘I’m sure he won’t mind,’ I thought as I rifled through Steve’s cupboard. The hunt for one of his shirts was slightly more difficult than I’d imagined, as he mainly wore muscle tees and hoodies, around the compound at least. However, my determination to look cute in one of his shirts was unaffected by this, and right at the back of his dresser I found a small selection of white shirts. I gasped in joy and carefully pulled one out, making sure not to leave his clothes a mess.
The shirt was crisp and clean, and oh god, smelled exactly like him. Unfolding it, I undid each of the buttons ‘til the shirt was open, and I slipped it on over my shoulders. I felt surrounded by him, Steve’s cologne bathing me in calmness. I took in a deep breath, letting my eyes close as I pretended Steve had his arms around me, keeping me warm. If I focused, I could almost feel his lips on my cheek, smoothing over my jaw and down my neck...
I giggled softly to myself, shaking my head and telling mind to behave before it got carried away. I made my way to the door, double-checking to see if anyone was around, and skipped my way over to my own room, shirt fluttering behind me like a cape from my shoulders. As my door closed behind me, I made my way over to where I’d set out a few accessories to put on. ‘Who needs a special occasion to feel special?’ I grinned to myself, gently fingering the rings I planned to put on. Placing the shirt over the back of my desk chair I began to adorn my person with jewellery and thigh-high socks, determined to make my boyfriend lose his mind.
A ‘ding’ from my phone told me that Steve had sent me a message.
*from: Oh Captain My Captain*
I’ll be back in a minute, want anything from the store?
So thoughtful, as always. I considered my options, and texted back.
*to: Oh Captain My Captain*
No thank you lovely, be back quick ;)
I wondered for a moment if Steve would know what a winky face was, but gave him the benefit of the doubt- by this point, he wasn’t totally ignorant of messaging mannerisms. Turning back to the shirt on the chair, I grinned, picked it up and took it to the mirror. Slipping the shirt back onto my shoulders and my arms through the arms of the shirt, I laughed slightly when the sleeves were slightly too long, covering my palms leaving my fingers poking out the end. I took a step back to admire myself when... something felt wrong.
Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t help but think my thighs were spilling out of my socks, that the rings looked ridiculous on my fingers, that the shirt didn’t flatter my torso as I thought it would have. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and tried to remind myself that I was beautiful, that my size didn’t matter, that Steve loved me just the way I was- but the negative thoughts got louder, until I opened my eyes and found myself critiquing every part of myself, focusing on how much I must weigh and comparing myself to various large animals. I felt tears prick at my eyes, even as I forced a smile onto my face. It looked fake in my reflection, and I swallowed thickly. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, today was supposed to be good, I was going to look good, dammit I wanted so badly to feel good-
My hands squished at my stomach and I cringed. Tugging at the shirt, I pulled it together and began doing up the buttons. ‘Perhaps,’ I thought, ‘if I cover up a little I’ll look better.’
I fidgeted with the buttons, and realised with horror that I was struggling. A rogue tear crept down my cheek and I blinked a few times to stop others from clouding my vision. I sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, holding it as I managed to button the rest of the shirt. Now all I had to do was hold my breath until I wasn’t wearing the shirt anymore.
Muffled voices came from outside my door, and I realised Steve was in the hallway with Natasha. My mind went blank with panic, and I froze and I heard them say goodbye, and Steve knocked on my door.
“Can I come in?”
I couldn’t exactly leave him outside, could I? I made a noise of reluctant assent, and by some miracle he heard me. The door creaked open, and in the reflection of the mirror I saw Steve enter the room. He made eye contact with my reflection and his smile dropped when he saw the tears in my eyes.
“Sweetheart, why are you crying? What happened?” His concern only served to make me feel worse- I felt awful for not being pretty enough for him, for not feeling pretty, for all the horrible thoughts that kept swirling into every corner of my head. I let out the breath I’d been holding.
A sharp noise caught my attention. There was a button laying at the bottom of the mirror, and I realised with horror that when I’d relaxed my stomach from holding the breath, I’d popped one of the buttons off Steve’s shirt, and the noise was it hitting the mirror.
That was it. I burst into tears, sobbing as Steve gathered me up in his arms. My hands tore at the shirt, desperate to get it off. He hushed me gently, hands over mine as he carefully undid the buttons and slipped off the shirt. “Hey, hey, shh, it’s okay, whatever it is, it’s all going to be okay, breathe for me, that’s it...” Steve murmured comfort into my ears, breathing deeply so I could match my own breaths to his.
It took a few minutes but I managed to steady my breathing and the tears were reduced. Steve was still holding me, my face against his chest with his arms around me. I knew he was going to ask what was wrong, so I answered before the question was asked.
“I wanted to look pretty for you, I thought it would be cute if I wore one of your shirts,” I whispered, face still pressed against him. He pulled away slightly, hand cupping my cheek, angling my face to look up at him.
“First of all, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on, and second, why did you try to take off the shirt if you wanted to wear it?”
I pointed reluctantly to the abandoned button on the floor by the mirror. “I popped it off, Steve. I’m big enough to break buttons-” I felt my eyes sting with tears again, voice caught in my throat, and Steve delicately wiped the tears that collected at the corners of my eyes.
“Sweetheart,” he smiled. “I don’t care. You’re big and beautiful, not one or the other. Who cares about a stupid shirt, I hardly wear them. And you were right, you looked very cute in one of my shirts.” That made me smile slightly, and Steve kissed my cheek. “There’s that smile that I love so much, I missed it.”
He knelt down and picked up the button and the shirt that had been discarded on the floor. I turned my head away, not wanting to look, but turned back the second I heard material ripping. Steve was tearing the shirt to shreds.
“What... on god’s green earth are you doing?” I asked, shocked. Steve simply shrugged, balling the remains of the shirt and carelessly throwing it in the corner.
“It made you feel bad. I had to get rid of it. Can’t let it get away with bringing down my best girl now, can I?”
That actually brought a laugh from me, and he smiled softly, cradling my face and placing a light kiss on my lips. “I think its learned its lesson,” I smiled, and Steve chuckled.
“It better have,” he said, and brought my attention to the bag of food he’d brought back from the store. “Wouldn’t want it taking your attention away from the food I’ve bought- how about you show me a movie I haven’t seen yet and we enjoy a night in?”
i really hope you enjoyed this- i hope this was what you wanted? thank you so much for the request!
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Just posted Chapter 6!! It's so good I promise! Lots of steamy moments and one badass woman 😎
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A Love So True: Part 2
Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem! Reader
Warnings: none so far, angst, fluff, eventual smut, 18+, MINORS DNI
A/N: This took a bit of time, but I hope it lives up to your expectations! I'm a hoe for good angst, and this was just an outlet ig. Many people have said that it reminds them of the movie The Vow, with Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. While I have seen that movie, this one will be slightly different. The main inspiration behind ALST is this story, of a woman named Laura Hart Faganello.
Minors DNI, you are responsible for your own media consumption. Not beta'ed, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise are all mine. I post my stuff only on Tumblr and AO3, nowhere else. I do not give anyone permission to reproduce, copy or translate my work. Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-in-darkness @firefly-graphics 💓
Join my taglist and check out my masterlist for more!!
Gif credits: @a7estrellas 💓
Chris caressed your photo, lovingly, his fingers trailing over your face. Every moment without you was killing him. Looking into your eyes, he didn't see the love that he craved. He saw attraction, intrigue even, but not the love he knew and craved. It was polite countenance.
He couldn't bear that. He would rather your ire, than your unfamiliarity.
He shook himself, placing the photo back hastily. He had his family by his side: Carly, Scott, Shanna and his mom. And Dodger, of course. But most importantly, he had his love for you, which would bring you back.
He was sure of it.
He saw you walking into the park, in an outfit he'd always loved on you. You walked to him, a warm smile adorning your lips. He loved that about you, your smile. It made him feel like the world was brighter by 200%.
You took a seat next to him, taking in his outfit. He was really good looking. But not in an arrogant way. In the way where he would turn heads with his charisma and charm, and confidence. You took a seat next to him, handing him a cup of coffee.
"I stopped on the way at Starbucks and thought I'd get something for you. I hope you like it. If not, feel free to chuck it in the trash."
He smiled. Taking the cup from your hand, he took a sip of the drink, the bitter taste of coffee with hints of arabica overwhelming his senses. He loved it. It was his favourite coffee, and she picked it out. Briefly, his heart fluttered at the thought that maybe, somewhere, she remembered him. It made him feel better about this whole arrangement.
You watched him take small sips of his coffee, mesmerised at the sight of him really enjoying it. You didn't know why, but it felt really good that he liked it. You didn't know how, or why, but while ordering at the shop, the order just rolled off your tongue, like it was a habit, or muscle memory of sorts. You'd shrugged it off then, thinking it was probably your gut instinct telling you so. Or perhaps you'd been soulmates and partners in a former life. The thought made you chuckle.
Chris looked at you, bemused. "What?"
"Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about how you seem familiar to me and I just...thought that we might've known each other in a past life or something. Sounds weird and lame, I know."
He smiled shyly, looking at the ground. "Do you believe in past lives and soulmates?" He asked, his eyes searching yours. If it were someone else, you would've been creeped out and uncomfortable with the question and the eye contact. But not with Chris. He was different. Why? You didn't know.
"I..sort of do, I guess. Like, not in the way most people do, like kindred spirits and unbreakable bonds and all that. But I do think that if two souls are meant to be together, they will find a way, no matter what the hindrances or obstacles."
His heart swelled. Your candid confession gave him the hope he thought was gone forever. Maybe you did remember him, past life or not.
"We might've been together in a past life, which only proves one point."
"Which is?" You asked, dryly.
"It means that since we were probably together in a previous life, we should definitely give this...courtship a try in this life. Who knows, it might be better than the last life." He said with a wink, a grin adorning his lips.
You smiled. Time spent with Chris would certainly not be boring.
The days went by steadily, and so grew your relationship with Chris. He took you on many dates, to the most charming places ever; museums, parks, skating rinks. Time seemed to stand still when you were with him; which was an antithesis because two months seemed to just whizz by! You'd even been to dinner with his mom, who seemed like a wonderful lady. She, too, seemed familiar, but you didn't stress about it. It was probably your brain acting up, replacing people and memories.
You went to therapy more regularly now, Chris being a regularly occuring topic. He truly was the perfect man; caring, loving and perceptive to all your needs. There were one or two times where you thought that he would kiss you, hold you, but he maintained a distance, giving you time. At most, he would give you a warm hug, or a small peck on your forehead, but that was it. It was almost too perfect, you felt. You'd told your parents about him, but the reaction you'd gotten was lukewarm, and you didn't know why. It had bothered you, because it wasn't like them to not be happy for you.
Work was going well, too. You'd gotten a few interviews, and Chris helped you prep for that as well. You sat with him, laughing at his inane impressions of people and workplaces till the wee hours of the morning. The interview went well, and you'd started off your job on a good note, which you partly thought was because of his help in prepping.
You started inviting him for dinner more often, the house feeling more and more like a home. Living away from your parents was tough, but you felt like you needed your own space, especially now more than ever. Even if you didn't regain your old memories, it was important to you to make new ones. Although there wasn't a name you'd given to this courtship, it felt right. It felt like you were meant to be together.
It was a normal Friday evening, you'd called him over for dinner, which was animated, as always. He was telling you about his work, and how fulfilling it was everytime one of his clients walked away, happy with his work. You listened on, enthralled and enchanted, truly in awe of this man. He was getting ready to leave after dinner, but you felt a pang in your heart. The feeling of being incomplete was growing with each second. Calling out his name, you grabbed his arm, slowly pulling him into your house as he looked on in bewilderment. Rising up on your tiptoes, you gazed into his eyes as you held his face, slowly touching your lips to his. He stood there, shell-shocked, as if in a dream, making no attempts to touch you. He seemed to break out of his reverie soon, though, his hands encircling your waist and gently pulling you to him, holding you closer. He deepened the kiss, as if beseeching you, asking you for something. It felt like he was pouring everything he had into the kiss, holding your face, his thumb grazing your jaw ever so slightly. Breaking apart, he touched his forehead to yours, not ready to let go of you.
"That was..." he breathed, speech evading him.
"I know." You replied, looking into his eyes. They had darkened, his pupils wide and his mouth slightly slack. You wanted more, you needed to feel him, to hold him. You needed him in every possible way; not lust-fuelled, but something more powerful. It seemed crazy but you felt like he was the one for you.
Much to your dismay, he pulled away, whispering, "would you like to have dinner with me this Friday? At my house, as my...girlfriend?"
Your head shot up at that, bemusement evident on your face. "Are you serious?!"
"About which part, the house or the girlfriend?"
You slapped him playfully, "the girlfriend part, you dummy! Took you long enough!"
He laughed as he pulled you closer, his heartbeat steady against your ear. Your heart fluttered at the thought of being at his house. He'd never talked about his family a lot before, so going to his house would be like getting a peek into his life. Placing a peck on his lips, you agreed, embracing him with all that you had. You couldn't believe how much he'd meant to you in such a short time.
You kissed him again, softly, wanting nothing more than to pull him inside and take him to bed. Alas, he pulled away soon, much to your disappointment, leaving with a small peck to your forehead.
"See you this Friday, sweetheart."
You woke up on Friday morning, your heart lurching as you thought about meeting Chris. It had been a busy few days, so you hadn't been able to meet him, only texting and calling. He'd been busy at work as well, so it had been the longest you'd gone without talking, making you realise how much you'd missed him. Was that normal in a relationship? You'd never had a relationship last for more than a year, and even then you never felt like you did with Chris. It was weird. And exciting. And a little scary. You woke up, a skip in your step as you began to get ready for work.
It had been an exceptionally good day. The meetings went well, your manager was pleased with your work and your coworkers were slowly becoming very good friends.
Evening came, and brought with it pre-date jitters. Sure, you'd been on many dates with him till now, but you felt this to be different. It was kind of a big step, and you didn't want to mess it up by scaring him or freaking him out. Taking deep breaths, you calmed down and started getting ready, picking out a red dress and your Louboutins. You looked taller with them and let's face it, it really showed your ass off. Not that that mattered, you thought to yourself. Or did it? Was it finally time to take the next step? Because even God knew you were ready for it. And longing for it.
The bell rang and with it, so did your heart flutter. You were gonna take a cab but Chris insisted on driving you, stubborn man that he was.
You opened the door, completely floored at what you saw. Chris looked different. He looked...hot. Not that he wasn't hot before, but now he looked really hot, like GQ Men's Issue Cover Hot. He was wearing deep blue jeans with a black dress shirt, his black jacket sitting snugly across his broad shoulders. Honestly, he was sex on legs; quite a departure from his chocolate boy look. There was no doubt about it, you were gonna jump him later on.
"Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?" He teased, raising his eyebrow.
"You look amazing. This is..a pleasant surprise, for sure." You hoped your gawking was taken as a compliment, your cheeks heating.
"Thanks. So do you sweetheart, you look breathtaking." He remarked, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.
You were short of words. His house was truly breathtaking. The drive itself was pretty short, about 15 minutes or so. But standing inside the huge place, it was surreal. That instant jolt of deja vu hit you again, but you chose to ignore it. This was your time with Chris, and you didn't want to ruin it by overthinking.
There was a warm feel to the house. It was very him; welcoming, beckoning you to stay. The walls were adorned with pictures of his family, his sisters, his nephews and nieces. It was so adorable. You heard a small bark at the distance, and turning around you saw a tan and white dog run upto you, its tail wagging to the nines. He jumped on you, whining in happiness and excitement. You giggled, petting him and stroking him with matched excitement. He was adorable and lovable, just like his owner.
"And who is this handsome young man?"
"This is Dodger, my boy. Though he seems to have forgotten his manners!" The latter remark was meant for Dodger, who was still whining and pacing around the room, unable to contain his joy.
"Whoa! Anyone would think he's seeing me after a long time; the way he's whining! What a good boy!"
You didn't notice Chris' smile falter a bit, oblivious about the words that were spoken. He felt a pang of hurt but was happy, at the same time. It was bittersweet; a reunion of sorts, but one of you didn't know the other. He watched as you sat down to give Dodger belly pats and rubs, kissing him softly on his snout. Dodger whimpered, licking every inch of your face and hands.
"Dodge, c'mon buddy, behave. Go get your toy, fetch!"
You giggled, sputtering after the intense love attack. Chris laughed, snapping a few pics for good measure.
"Why don't you get cleaned up, there's a bathroom right down the hall, in my room. I'll get dinner ready till you do."
You walked down the hallway, taking in the various showpieces and ornaments adorning the walls. You really loved the feel of this house. It was like you'd been here all your life.
Walking into the bathroom, you washed your hands but noticed a lack of a drying towel. Typical man, you thought dryly.
"Chris? Is there a drying towel or something here?"
"Uhhhh yeah, just try the drawer by the fireplace." He shouted, distracted.
Sifting through the different chests of drawers, you hunted for a towel, trying not to see his stuff. You were sure he'd not mention it, but there were some boundaries you had to maintain, no matter how open he was. Or seemed to be.
After rifling through his drawer for a minute, you finally found a napkin, albeit your hands were already dry. Oh well, you thought, better late than never.
Shaking your head, you went to close the drawer, but it wouldn't budge. Trying again, you shoved harder, eager to get back to the dinner. Frustrated, you dug through the drawer to find the source of obstruction, your hands feeling a wooden frame. You pulled it out, curiosity getting the better of you. You wished you hadn't, though. Because what you saw shook you to your very core. You felt like you would collapse to the floor.
"Heyyy, dinner's almost ready, I've put in an extra loaf of garlic bread in case I eat too much.." Chris trailed off, astonished by your tense stance and lack of words.
"Sweetheart...? Is everything..ok?"
You couldn't bring yourself to answer him. You didn't know if you should be scared, or hurt, or angry. All you knew is that you wanted to be away from him. Your legs moved as if detached from your mind, each step taking you further away from him. You could faintly hear his voice calling out to you, but you didn't stop. You didn't stop walking till you reached his door, opening it, letting the bitterly cold breeze attack you; mirroring the numbness you felt inside. There was only one thing playing in your mind over and over again, in a loop.
The photo of you and Chris, kissing passionately on a beach.
He knew who you were. He'd known all along.
AAAGH SORRY DON'T KILL ME PLS BUT YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT🥺💓😭 hope y'all like it, my pre-publishing jitters are setting in and I'm not sure if people will like it or not😔🥺💓
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Announcement: HELLO! I know you have all been EAGERLY awaiting my re-arrival, so BEHOLD I have returned! And with a brand new fic for all of you to enjoy. Curious why I was gone? check my blog to find a little Q/A between me and Anon!
Warnings: None, except for teeth rotting amounts of fluff lol
Request: The reader (me ) is dating chris evans it's the readers birthday, and chris evans spoiling her, taking to the hair salon and to the nail salon , and then throws a party for her, and he asks her to marry him, and a couple months later the reader is asked to been on say yes to the dress and a lot of fluff please (@maximeevansblog)
You awoke to soft nuzzles against your cheek and gentle fingers tracing your midsection.
“Happy Birthday, baby.” A soft voice murmured next to you.
You turned your face to your boyfriend, Chris Evans.
“Good morning, Love. Thank you!” You whispered to him, moving closer to his body.
Chris wrapped you into a hug before tipping your face up and kissing you.
“I’m going to spoil you today, dear.” He hummed into to your ear.
He pulled you closer, and you melted into him, tucking your face into the crook of his neck, and you whispered “I love you” before pulling him closer to you.
The two of you cuddled for another half an hour before he announced that the first stop was the nail salon. You pulled yourself out of bed and were met with a new dress, courtesy of Chris.
“Oh! This is beautiful! Thank you so much!” You grinned, rushing to put it on.
“I knew you’d like it.” He hummed, pulling you in for a kiss.
To his surprise, you pushed him away and snatched your dress, running frantically to the bathroom to put it on.
He smiled to himself, and he loved you too much to be upset.
You exited the bathroom and grinned at Chris. The velvety (Y/F/C) fabric of the dress hugged every curve of your body perfectly, and the draped pattern of the dress only accentuated your beautiful body. You did a little twirl to show it off, smiling all the while.
Chris’s eyes lit up, and his mouth fell open, “I knew I made the right choice! You look perfect, my love.” He said from the bed where he was sitting, wearing a button-down and khakis.
“Now, let's go before we miss our appointment!” He announced enthusiastically, grabbing your hand.
Chris pulled into the parking lot of a swanky nail salon and opened your door for you.
He put his arm out for you to hook yours in and walked you into the nail salon.
You stepped inside, and a friendly woman greeted you.
“Hi! Do you have an appointment?” She asked cheerily.
Chris nodded and told the employee your name, and she led you to a rack of nail polishes and gels.
“If you could please select a few colors for your mani-pedi, I can have someone with you in a moment.” The receptionist smiled before leaving you and Chris.
You gazed thoughtfully at all of the colors on the wall, but so many were enticing, and you entirely gave up on choosing.
“Baby? Can you pick some out for me, please? I don’t know what to choose… I’m torn between a combination of sky blue, Fuchsia, bright yellow, seafoam green, and black, or dark blue, vibrant magenta, sun yellow, white, and warm grey.” You sighed.
“Woah there, you just named a lot of colors.” He grinned. “I can barely tell the difference between some of those polishes.” He shook his head.
“You’re no use.” You pouted sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes at you but was smiling nonetheless. “How about just one color? What about this blue?” He selected a dark turquoise.
“I love it!” You smiled. “I’ll do that one on my toes. For my acrylics, I want one of those cute heart patterns. I’ll show you a picture!”
You pulled out your phone and showed him a vibrant pattern of overlapping hearts, and he only shook his head and chucked.
“You do you, sweetheart.”
After your nails were finished, Chris ushered you back into the car, going on and on about “another surprise.”
After 15 minutes of driving, Chris pulled into a hair salon, opening his own door and rushing around the car to open yours.
“M’lady.” He bowed, holding your door open.
You giggled and gave him a light swat on the shoulder, curtseying after getting out.
You entered the salon and were ushered over to a chair. Chris stayed in the lobby, giving you a thumbs up before your hairdresser started asking questions.
After a long while of cutting and styling, you finally had your dream haircut and color, and it looked great! It framed your delicate features perfectly, and the color complimented your skin tone and eyes.
You thanked your hairdresser and lightly jogged over to Chris. He did it once over and looked impressed.
“Well you clean up well, all thanks to me, of course.” He chided.
“Oh yeah, take all the credit.” You rolled your eyes. “What’s next, though?”
“Now we go home, and have dinner.” He smiled, but little did you know, there were already about 100 guests at the house ready to surprise you for your birthday.
“That sounds nice.” You sighed, embracing Chris as the two of you strode out of the salon.
“SURPRISE!!” Was yelled as you entered your and Chris’s house.
You jumped back, startled, but then started beaming from ear to ear, knowing Chris had set this up for you.
“Awh you big teddy bear!” You hugged Chris as he entered behind you. “Thank you guys for coming! And thanks for all the gifts, woah!” You gestured toward a table full of wrapped boxes and bags.
A chorus of happy birthdays were heard throughout the house, and you just couldn’t be happier. Everything was perfect.
Before you could say anything or thank everyone, Chris ran in front of you, and on one knee.
“Chris!” You yelled out, throwing your hands over your mouth to stop any tears of excitement from falling.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), you have made these past two years so amazing. I don’t know where I would be without you. You and your spirit are so beautiful and admirable. I love you so much, (Y/N), and so I need to ask you, will you marry me?” He popped open the case of the velvet box he was holding, and inside was one of the most stunning diamonds you had ever seen in your life.
Everything felt so surreal, and all you could do was cry.
“Yes! Chris, yes, I love you so much!” You choked through sobs.
He began to cry himself, and stood up, slipping the ring onto your finger before crafting your face in his hands and kissing you. Everything around the two of you erupted into cheers and applause, and you could swear you heard trumpets and a choir singing. It felt like a fairy tale, a happily ever after, and it was only going to get better.
News of your and Chris’s engagement had spread like wildfire, it was all the internet could talk about for 3 weeks. You received fan mail and gifts from fans around the world, congratulating you and Chris.
One fateful Tuesday morning after scrolling through your private email, you found something marked important. Curious, you opened the message to find an invite to “Say Yes To The Dress: Celebrity Version!”.
You were beyond ecstatic and forwarded it to Chris and your agent, intending to get an appointment set up as soon as possible.
Chris was just as excited as you were, and your agent was quick to get everything set up.
You simply couldn’t contain your excitement, everything was going right. You bounced around the halls of your home for days, not being able to bear waiting any longer for your filming.
A week before your appointment, you nestled into bed with Chris and hurried yourself in his figure.
“I love you, Chris Evans. Thank you.” You sleepily mumbled.
“And I you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You were the best decision I ever made.”
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