#incorrect mom quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelofthenight · 2 years

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Stephen: Tequila makes me aggressive.

Wanda: Tequila makes me wanna dance.

You: I, uh, I once took, like, ten Vicodin, and drank an entire thing of tequila, and then, I, like, blacked out for three days. But while I was blacked out, I, like, still went out and fought crime and shit. It was really weird.

Wong: …Well, let’s not do that tonight.

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leoleolovesdc · 5 months

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Jason [after a rough patrol with Damian]: Huh, that was fun! Wanna go for a drink?

Damian: Akhi, I’m 16

Jason: Wait, seriously?

Jason: Damn, I was convinced you were 12

#b4 anyone says anything im convinced jason wouldnt ever take a kid to drink #especially since both him and his mom struggled w addiction #this is js for the meme dont take it srsly #jason todd #damian wayne #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #robin #red hood #batfam #batkids #batsiblings #bat siblings #bat kids #bat bros #bat brothers #batfamily

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dc-and-damirae · 6 months

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robin(dick): What if I turned into a villain? cat-woman: Aw, you'd have the cutest mugshot. robin [very pleased with himself]: Thank you cat-mom.

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fxiryeon · 1 month

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Y/N: It’s so frustrating

Luke: What is ??

Y/N: Watching Annabeth openly flirt with Percy for weeks and Percy is still not realising it

Luke, wearing a ‘date me Y/N’ shirt: Haha, yeah-

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mammonswhore · 10 months

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MC: *wiggling a test in front of Lucifer's face* fuck you!

Lucifer: I see you passed

MC: Damn right I did! And you said I couldn't do it!

Lucifer: *smirking* I know, congrats...

MC: *confused sheep noises*

-later-

MC about to go to sleep: ... OH THAT MOTHERFU-

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noyzinerd · 3 months

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[After the pack runs into one of Derek's ex's from his time in New York]

Stiles: Oh my god, that girl was gorgeous! I mean, did you guys see her?!

The pack:

Stiles: Why on Earth would Derek ever break up with someone so beautiful? What was he even thinking?!

The pack:

Stiles: I know if I ever landed someone like that, I'd probably never let them go.

The pack:

Stiles: Aw shoot, I gotta get going or I'm gonna be late. See you later guys!

The pack: The pack:

Malia: So, are we all still pretending Derek's ex-girlfriend didn't just look like Stiles in a wig?

#sterek #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #tyler hoechlin #dylan o'brien #mieczyslaw stiles stilinski #incorrect teen wolf quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect teen wolf #I'd like to think the ex was Eli's bio-mom #Oblivious Stiles #Derek very clearly has a type

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l3viat8an · 10 months

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*Games night in Levi’s room*

Mammon: Damn this game is crazy!

MC: Crazy?

MC & Levi:*In perfect sync* I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy? I was crazy once, they locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with with rats, and rats make me crazy, crazy?-

Mammon: What the fuck is wrong with you two????

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batfamgalore · 6 months

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Jason: Oh my god, can I kill him!

Dick: No.

Jason: Can I at least slash his tires?

Dick: Okay.

#batman #robin #dc #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #source: convo between me and my mom

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criminalmindsfanantic · 6 months

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The Team hiding in a dark laundry room

Derek: Who else is hiding in here trying to listen to Mom and Dad’s convo?

Penelope: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

JJ: I'm in the washing machine.

Reid: I’m in the dryer.

Emily: I'm in the closet.

Penelope: We accept you Emily. <3

Emily: No I'm literally in the closet.

Penelope: Love is love. <3

#chaoticbau #criminal minds #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily #cm #incorrect criminal minds #incorrect cm #incorrect criminal minds quotes #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #david rossi and aaron hotchner are mom and dad

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t3rraria · 15 days

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Athena: how's my favorite boy doing!

Bobby: I'm fin-

Athena, shoving past Bobby to get to buck: not you, move

Buck: I'm great mom! I kissed a guy aswell

Athena: I'm so proud

Bobby: how- just how!!??

#athena grant #incorrect 911 quotes #evan buckley #bobby nash #Athena is bucks l.a mom #911 abc #911 fox #favorite boy #screw Margaret Buckley Athena grant is here and better than ever #buck kissed a boy

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angelofthenight · 2 years

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Wanda, to Stephen: Do u think (y/n) would want me if I threatened to kill myself

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lucky-bishova-42 · 1 month

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*Natasha walking into the bathroom*

Natasha: Can I get in here I need to—OH MY GOD!?

*Kate is dressed in a Black Widow suit with her hair dyed red, Yelena is wiping her red stained hands on a towel*

Kate, pointing at Natasha, excitedly: It’s like looking in a mirror!!

Natasha: No it isn’t Kate.

Kate: Who’s Kate?

Yelena, chuckling: I already can’t tell who’s who!

Natasha: Take that stuff off.

Kate: Wands! Get in here and settle this!

Natasha: Don’t call your mother ‘Wands.’

Wanda: What? Oh haha hey! Travel size Nat! Aw!

Natasha: Wanda, you’re encouraging this!

*Clint comes in*

Clint: I need the bathroom—woah this is confusing.

Natasha: NO IT’S NOT!

#mama nat #mom wanda #mama spider #kate bishop #nat is kate's mom #natasha romanoff #wanda is kate’s mom #wandanat #wanda maximoff #clint barton #yelena belova #incorrect quote mcu #malen’kiy yastreb #marvel #incorrect quotes #source: bob's burgers

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lyrichi · 3 months

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Beel, walking up to mc: do you wanna go to Hell's Kitchen with me?

mc, one ear bud in and only half paying attention: the fox show starring Gordan Ramsey??

Beel: ...what?

#dawg I would watch that shit w my mom #all the time #istg #and house hunters #I only think of the show when someone talks abt it in shitposts #yeah #okay #obey me crack #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me #obey me mc #obey me beelzebub

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

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XD Charlie in shirt sleeves and a Very Serious Frown, sitting behind Vaggie with hair brush in one hand and one of Vaggie's wings in the other, a truly alarming assortment of hair care protects and tools strewn around her as she tries figuring out how the whole 'angel wing maintenance' thing is suppose to work-

Vaggie, dying with laughter, trying and failing to catch her breath long enough to say You can put the brush down babe and also that REALLY tickles-

Charlie: "But then what am I supposed to USE?! You just got your wings back, I don't wanna mess them up! I wanna do this right!"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, it's f-PFFT- it's fine. You can just use your fingers."

Charlie: "..ohhhh...."

Charlie:

Charlie: "..... Um. So is preening ever. I mean when someone else does it, does it ever get kinda... y'know?"

Vaggie: "Bedroom-ish?"

Charlie: "I mean if it's sensitive enough to make you ticklish-"

Vaggie: "Yeah. Sometimes."

Charlie: "What uh, what kind of sometimes?"

Vaggie: "Like when it's you're girlfriend doing it, and she's blushing so hot you can feel the little thermal updrafts also tickling your feathers."

Charlie: "You can FEEL that!?"

Vaggie: "It's like you turned on the totally unnecessary hairdryer, babe."

Charlie: "FUCK!"

Vaggie: (laughs so hard she falls over and smacks charlie in the face with a wing on the way down)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #incorrect quotes #the hair straightener and curling iron also won't be needed although vaggie appreciates the thought #charlie morningstar-#unable to decide if she's pissed she never saw her mom grooming her dad's wings #or EXTREMELY FUCKING GRATEFUL #that she has NO idea what that would look like

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incorrectquotesmcu · 4 months

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Natasha: What are you doing?

Y/N: I'm leaving! You don't want me here, I'll just make it easier for you!

Steve: No, we want you here, we just want you to play by the rules.

Y/N: I'll pack my bags and go home right now! Would that make you guys all really happy?!

Thor: No, that would not make us happy!

Y/N: I'm sick of this shit! I'm done! I'm done!

Tony, narrating: Y/N is throwing shoes and they're cursing and all I'm thinking is "you are so hard to take seriously wearing those sunglasses!"

#source: dance moms #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff incorrect quotes #black widow #steve rogers #steve rogers incorrect quotes #captain america #thor #thor odinson #thor incorrect quotes #tony stark #tony stark incorrect quotes #iron man #avengers x reader #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

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chasingthestarss · 3 months

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Sirius: REMUS! I BURNT MY HAND!

Remus: Quick, put it on something cold.

Sirius, putting his hand over Regulus’ heart: Ahh, much better

Regulus: Fuck off

#dead gay wizards #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #remus is the mom friend #remus and regulus #regulus and sirius #wolfstar incorrect quotes #wolfstar #sirius is a little shit #the black brothers

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