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#obey me headcanons
devildom-grimoire · a minute ago
Heads Up for August & September
In August, I'll be hosting my friend Delphine, and getting our apartment plans in order; Delphine is moving from Texas to Ontario, so I'll be her guide to the area and roommate.
So, I'll be closing the ask box from August until mid-to-late September. We'll be moving in early September, and I also start school; so I will be very stressed, so until we're situated I'll only be answering asks that were sent in before the ask box is closed, but my main focus will be on the move and schooling.
For more info about the move, see this post! And if you like to support me, please check out my Ko-fi, even a single one helps a lot! If you aren't able to donate, then please at least share that post.
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devildom-grimoire · 2 hours ago
Hello!! I would like a match-up with one of the obey me characters and I'm not sure if requests are open so take your time on this if they aren't open.
So to start off, you can call me Issy and I use they/them pronouns and I'm bisexual and sometimes I change my sexuality to pansexual too. Its hard for me to decide my final decision about it.
I like to read, play games, do cursive and I like to invent useful things for my cat if I have the time. I also like to act out the scenes of my favorite movies/shows. So you could say I'm quite busy all the time with my phone.
I'm a sucker for happy endings and I usually cry after reading 2 chapters of angst because it's too much for me. I'm a positive person also a capricorn. Very bad at deciding which is my favorite to which should I wear. I don't have much irl friends so that's why I depend on my phone to be my friend.
That's all you need to know as I'm figuring out what to do with my life now, bye!!
Hi, Issy! And I feel you with the “figuring out what to do with my life” part all too well. But let me see who the lucky chump is!
Oh, what’s this? Cat inventions? Catch him making some with you; either it’s fun for the fluffball, an annoyance to Lucifer, or preferably both. And if you wanted help with your latest creation, he would be more than willing to help.
He will make sure to put any of his more angsty books up high, or will label them as such, just to make sure that if you were to accidentally read one, that there is a warning for you. He doesn’t like seeing you cry, especially if it’s from a book.
He’ll act and play along to any scenes that you do; he likes seeing you smile, and knowing that he helped you feel happy, makes him happy. If it’s a more romantic scene, he will sweep you off your feet, and give Asmo a run for his money for the charm. Mammon enters because of the mentioning of money
If he finds that you’ve been on your phone too much, he will ask if you want to go and read, act, play with your cat, or just hang out with him and chat.
Having trouble deciding? Satan can help with that! Be it as simple as deciding what to wear, or any plans for the future. He just wants to help you be happy!
I hope you enjoy!
And for anybody else that enjoys my work, please consider helping me move out! Here's the post explaining it and my Ko-fi!
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moemoemammon · 3 hours ago
Could I request headcanons for the Brothers with an MC who makes master-level pastries and such? I hope you're having a good day! :3
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MC is an Amazing Cook!
(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
The way you seared that shadow hog and flambéd it in demonus paired horribly well with the fat in the meat, caramelizing it into smoky, savory perfection.
Like any man, food is the key to Lucifer's heart, even if his tastes are more on the refined side. Luckily, you don't seem to have a problem with that since your food is already gourmet level.
Don't even get him STARTED on your pastries. He's not a fan of sweets, but there's just something about that trice spiced coffee cake you made that just pairs so well with his Hell coffee....
Highkey tempted to have you cook for Lord Diavolo, as a not-so-humble humble brag. Like, 'look at what my human can do. Fufufu'
"I must say, having your cooking as a part of our menu has changed everyone's attitudes for the better. Even Beelzebub has been calmer lately, so I thank you for that. ....Do you mind bringing some of that cake to my office? I'd like to have some with you."
Woah... WOAH!! This food's amazing! It's almost like you've got a demon's palate memorized, because the food you make is crazy good!
You know, you could make a killing off of this cooking! Actually he's already starting to plan a restaurant idea. With your cooking and his advertising expertise, the two of you can take over the food world of the Devildom! You'll be rich!
...Is what he's thinking, but his head is too fuzzy from all the delicious flavors bursting in his mouth. It's like a warm hug... it can make a grown man cry..
On the days when Mammon needs a little pick me up, he'll specially ask for you to make
"That one dish I like! Ya know, the spicy one with the meat! And the sauce! Yeah yeah, that one! But make sure ya cook enough for the both of us, yeah? I wanna eat it with you, too. And don't ya go makin' any for my brothers!"
Is there anything more moe than someone who's a god at cooking? You're like the protagonist from that one anime, 'Cooking Wars'!
You're a god with a spatula, and Levi is too distracted with the taste of your cooking to even think about his inferiority complex. Even if his tastes lean more toward the processed side of things, he can't help but drool when the smell of your cooking wafts through the air.
Actually, that seems to be one of the only things that's gets him out of his room. He's used to skipping meals or hoarding junk food in his room, but he feels like he gets a major performance boost when he eats what you make! Like the food in the games that gives you a status effect!
But now that he thinks of it, there's only one way to truly test your skill.... So please look at this list of TSL foods that he wants to try! Especially the cursed goat tartare sandwich with cheese!!!
"You can make it, can't you? I'm not gonna let you do it alone, so don't worry! Uwaaah... if I can actually eat food that the Seven Lords ate, I'll have bragging rights for centuries! No... for a lifetime...!"
Satan lent you one (1) cookbook, and the kitchen hasn't been the same since. His book collections hasn't either, since you always seem to come back for more.
You became a culinary master in no time, even learning how to use some of the most difficult ingredients the Devildom has to offer!
Even things that would otherwise be poisonous if handled incorrectly become key ingredients to your godly cooking.
He's also a big fan of the sweets you make. Not because he eats them often himself, but because you're open to taking requests. So when you decorated a cake to look like a cat, Satan was considering proposing. Instead, he settles for asking for some pointers.
"Thank you for indulging me. I thought you'd tease me for wanting to master these cat themed cupcakes, so I'm relieved. I can never seem to capture the right amount of cuteness no matter how I try, but I feel like I can do it well if you teach me. I'm in your care, MC."
Asmo has never been very good at self control in any form, and he's got the biggest sweet tooth out there. So when you come along with your Top Chef quality sweets, he feels his resolve crumbling away...
Flan, cookies, fruit pies, spice cakes, cream puffs.... So many decadent sweets come pouring out of the kitchen on a daily, and he can't have any!
Well.... a tiny taste couldn't hurt, right? And maybe with your skills, you could make him some low-fat sweets to help curb the cravings..? Please? 🥺👉👈
"MC, you're such a tease! There's no way I can resist forever, you know? You're making me so hungry I can't stand it! Hm? Oh, I'm talking about your desserts. Unless... you'd prefer if I meant something else..~?"
It was almost like Beel sensed your culinary abilities the moment you dropped into the Devildom, ecause there was just something about you that had him like 👁👁
And when you prove your worth on your night to make dinner? Man already has his entire future with you planned out in his head.
The food hits his plate and he literally sheds tears over your amazing cooking. Now he's standing up and taking your hands, asking you to stay with him.
"You don't need to go back to the human world, right? Stay here. I want to eat your cooking everyday, forever. I'll move your bed into my room, too. Actually, I'll take over Mammon's job and I'll watch over you instead."
Belphie knew your cooking was something else when he actually stayed awake the entire time he ate it. And he NEVER stays awake at the table.
Did you cast some kind of spell over it? What kind of magic are you using? Because it's hella sus that the smell of your food has the ability to wake him up out of even the deepest sleep. (Lucifer is tempted to use you as a Belphie alarm clock in the morning-)
He's a little annoyed that your cooking is so effective against him. It's like a weakness that he can't ignore. There's no way he’d turn down a chance to eat your milk pudding, though. Don't laugh.
Kinda treats you like the Devildom's Uber Eats, though. MC, please leave his meal at the door and he'll grab it in a sec. Make sure you knock so he knows you're there 👍
"I'm so tired.... Hey, MC. Why don't you try feeding my dinner to me? I want to enjoy your food while it's still warm, so you've got to help me quick." "...Hm? Spoiled? Eheheh, maybe I am. I can't help it when I'm with you."
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ashxrsbeloveds · 4 hours ago
Fluff, the brothers and undateables with a MC that touches with their tail/wings
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here you go anon/s! i could only do the brothers, hope you dont mind. 💖 i had lotsa fun writing this! enjoyy! 💖💖💖
tw/cw!!! satan's part has mentions of getting punctured by his tail, drunk mammon (yes), my dumbass wondering wtf does beel's wings feel like (so it's an inaccurate description, if someone tells me what does a fly wing feel like i'll change it)
MC touches the brothers tails/wings!
His wings seemed so fluffy and soft, who wouldn't want to touch it? They look so pretty too.
Lucifer was punishing Mammon again, and he was in his demon form as he lashed out at his brother. A perfect time to touch his wings, you thought.
He was about to hit Mammon again until you began stroking his left wing. Your touch stopped him right in his tracks, little did you know wings were sensitive to gentle touches. It brought shivers down Lucifer's spine.
"What are you doing, MC? You're pushing your luck too far now. Who gave you the right to touch my wings?"
Most of the feathers were soft and silky, you noticed how the part of his bottom left wing had a patch where there weren't much feathers. But you didn't dare speak of it. He didn't face you, instead he just stood still, allowing you to do as you please with his wings. You playfully tug a feather, which accidentally got plucked. Oops.
"Time's up, MC. Stop stroking my wing. Who knows what will I do if you continue. You might have the same fate as Mammon over here."
But you didn't stop. Even if others would stop at this point, heck maybe not even try at all, you kept going. Gently feeling Lucifer's wings, petting it as if it were a cat... or dog. Eventually, he turns around, a hint of blush painted on his cheeks.
Lucifer grabs your wrist, making you stop petting his wings. You glance at Mammon, despite him tied up you he was supporting you startling the eldest so he could escape.
"You're quite the strong-willed one, aren't you MC? Touching my wings as if it were nothing. Do remember your place, human." Translation: Please keep petting his wings he loves it
He rarely goes in his demon form, so it's hard to touch his wings, bcause the dude doesn't show it. If he DID, I'll assure you he'd run away before you could lay a finger on his wings.
But during one of Diavolo's parties for the exchange students, he was in his demon form, all drunk and unaware of his surroundings. Perfect.
You come over to Mammon, who was already losing himself because of the Demonus he's been drinking. He looks at you, questioning why were you so close to him. You gently stroked his right wing, making him jump awake.
"M-MC, what are ya doing here? What are ya doing with my *hic* w-wing? Stop!"
He didn't move from his place so you continued touching his wing, it was jerking up from time to time whenever your fingertips came in contact with the base of his wing. It wasn't feathery like Lucifers, it's thin and bat-shaped. Not to mention soft.
"M-MC don't touch my wings! Don't ya know they're sens-sensitive?! B-but, I guess I'll *hic* let ya touch th... w-wait don't touch my wings! "
Mammon's face flushed red even more, he didn't know what to do. Should he run or should he stay? Both options seemed so mixed up and unclear for him because he was too drunk to think or move.
Sadly, all good things have to come to an end. Mammon passed out after a few minutes, letting his weight drop onto your arms (which was heavy, by the way. but you can manage I guess) unconscious, already snoring.
"I'm... so dizzy... MC..."
It would be difficult to touch his tail. If you ask straightforwardly, Leviathan would pass out from being flustered and embarassed. You can't just force him to transform for that sake too.
But there was a time in particular, when he got too engrossed in his game, he transformed right in front of you as he cursed his teammates over the microphone.
There were risks you had to take, one of them was him possibly flicking you away using his tail and sending you to the wall. You gulp as you slowly approach the otaku from behind, calling out to him just so he won't get as startled. You place your palm on the tip of his tail.
"Damn you stupid humans who have no idea how this game works!- Wh-what? MC! What are you d-doing?! Don't- don't touch m-my tail normie!"
He had to mute and leave his game, you were still sliding your hand on his tail. It was scaly, smooth and cold. The scales weren't as rough as you thought it would be. Your touch felt like waves of electricity just passed through Leviathan's body.
"H-hey! Who told you to- to touch my tail? S-stop please! Ahh, this is so embarrassing! Stop!"
Leviathan covers his awfully red face, muttering "stop" over and over again. His tail was already slithering back and forth, it won't take long for it to whack you to the other side of the room. But risks can and should be taken, right?
You gently stroke his tail, he let out a squeak which made you snort. Leviathan didn't notice but his tail seemed to take a liking to your touch. It gently coiled itself around you, it was cold like always. You giggle at how his tail wrapped itself on you, restraining your movements.
"What wh-why are you- AH! No! D-don't look at me like t-that! I didn't m-mean to- agh! No, no, no! I d-didn't wrap my t-tail around you... fo-forget about thisss! I-I didn't, I didn't do that!"
The brothers described his tail as sharp and prickly, it was a warning you should have took to account but ignored anyway. His tail just seemed so fascinating, a little touch of it won't hurt anyone.
The only problem here is, how were you even going to touch it. Should you ask straightforwardly? Or should you just wait till he gets in his demon form himself? Though, you'd probably get snarled at if you touch it while he's angry.
So you decided to do the first option. Asking him directly. Satan raises an eyebrow in disbelief, how did you end up being curious about his tail? Seeing your puppy eyes made him lose it. You win, MC. You win.
"Is that so... well, how can I say no when you've come this far already? Just be warned, you might injure yourself if you recklessly touch it."
You trail your fingers on its hard scales, you could see Satan's lips curling to a smile in the corner of your eye. His tail seemed to be happy with your touch and so was he, though it's still dangerous to run your hand on it.
It wasn't as spiky as what the brothers had told you. The ridges had sharp edges, yes. But they're not much of a harm. His tail gently swayed unconsciously, accidentally poking you. Satan looks at you, concerned when he realized his tail got you injured.
"Ah, I'm sorry MC. We should get that cleaned up. What do you mean it's just a little puncture? No, we're getting that cleaned up this instant. Hold on."
He came back with a bandaid and some medicine. He tended your puncture and patched you up as if the wound was severe. He gives you a soft smile of pity since his tail punctured you. After the treatment, his tail was already wrapped around his leg like usual, he's not allowing you to touch it ever again as when he let it relax, it lead to the situation you're in right now.
"That's enough for your curiosity, MC. I suppose you've gotten enough information about what my tail feels like, yeah? Be more careful next time. No, I'm not letting you touch my tail again. Curiosity kills the cat as they say."
A little bird Satan said that Asmodeus' wings were ticklish, you just had to find the exact spot to make the avatar of lust feel a laugh kick in.
Asmodeus' wings were like Mammons, they looked like bat wings, but he had four of them. Two big ones and two smaller ones just at the bottom of it. Some may describe it as heart-shaped too.
You decided to summon him instead of waiting for a time to strike. Summoning makes things way easier. Cause they'll appear in their demon form, which gives you access to touching their tails or wings. As you summoned him, he gives you a huge grin.
"Missed me much, dear? What did you summon the beautiful Asmo for? Do you want company or perhaps someone to talk to?~"
You innocently approach him, wrapping your arms around his waist while you dig your face on his neck. But your hands trailed on his spine and you began fiddling with his bottom wings. They were exactly like Mammon's, thin and soft. Asmodeus giggles, his wings flutter a bit. That's probably the spot.
"My, my, lovely! Do my wings look pretty to you? Ah, don't touch that part though. I'm not sure if you'd want to face the consequences of touching that wing, dear~"
You grinned, gently stroking the wing he told you not to touch. Asmodeus flinches, breaking from the hug as he attempts to wiggle away from your grasp to avoid getting tickled. You didn't let him go though. You used your pact to an advantage, making him freeze right in his tracks.
You began to examine his wings, they were beautiful, you noticed that he even had piercings on his right wing, making it shimmer. You gently stroke his left wing, a giggle escaped his mouth. You knew where his ticklish spot was now, and you had no plan on stopping.
"MC! I told you, don't touch that spot! Pfft- Ahahaha!- Dear, no! Don't make me tickle you non-stop later too! Hahaha! Wait- let me breathe!"
Beelzebub's wings caught your eye more than any of the brother's. His wings were similar to a fly, and it would somewhat shimmer whenever you're in a lighted area. It made you curious about what it felt like.
He rarely shows it though, which makes it difficult to even lay a finger on his wings. He'd only transform if he was either 1. Mad and hungry or 2. If it's needed.
None of the options seemed to be possible, so you ought of asking him instead, you were sure Beelzebub wouldn't mind letting you touch his wings. You came up to him and asked if you could touch his wings. He looked at confused, but later on, just shrugged it off to let you touch his wings.
"Go ahead and touch my wings, MC. I don't mind. Hm? I guess the transparency makes it look cool too."
You gently run your fingers on his wings, it was smooth and rigid. It also had this beautiful holographic touch to it. Beelzebub shudders, his wings flutter a bit from your touch. He wasn't used to his wings getting touched, it was way sensitive than he thought.
"You like my wings? Thank you... I'm not used to getting my wings touched. This is a new experience for me, but I'm glad you like your discovery."
You run your fingers on it, slowly tracing the pattern it had. Beelzebub's wings suddenly twitch, you chuckled at how it reacted, gently stroking it once more. You also noticed how it looked like scales, despite it not being scales.
As for the demon, his cheeks were heating up, and he was about to laugh from the touch. Who knew a demon's wings were ticklish? A loud growl from his stomach interrupted your little discovery of what Beelzebub's wings feel like. He was hungry again.
"Oh, sorry about that, MC. My wings just did that unconsciously. Do you want to go eat something? I'm sort of hungry again... you can still touch my wings though, I don't mind it at all. I kinda like it, actually."
You've always wondered what his tail felt like. Was it soft or rough? Maybe it feels like a cow tail, cause y'know, his tail looks like a cow? Though you haven't felt a cow's tail yet...
You got a pretty decent description on his tail thanks to Beelzebub as well, he said that it's soft and had a few thorns here and there, but it's not that prickly.
But you still wanted to feel it yourself, so what's better than to approach Belphegor in his natural habitat? Asleep and in his demon form. Exactly what you needed. Sadly, his tail was wrapped around his arm, so it was quite difficult to pet his tail.
His tail was swaying in his sleep, hitting his face a couple of times. You snort, gently grabbing ahold of the tip, it's tip was soft and silky, you could tell Belphegor takes good care of his tail, there were also a few thorns just like what Beelzebub had said.
"Mm..? Who's there... ah, MC. What are you doing here?"
He sits straight, rubbing his eyes before looking at you. He had bed head hair and half-lidded eyes, a sleepy Belphegor in his full glory. You gently stroke his tail, stirring him awake from your touch.
"...what? Don't touch my tail. Well, if you want to touch it go ahead I guess... oh, it's soft? Haha, yeah. I make sure it's well groomed. It's expected."
His tail gently wraps itself around you, you could feel the pressure of the thorns on your skin, but luckily they weren't much of a harm. Belphegor chuckles, you continued petting his tail, a light hint of blush tinted his cheeks, he was enjoying your little affection. Belphegor yawns, he was about to fall asleep again.
"I never knew getting my tail pet by someone felt nice... no, I'm not letting you go. Well, my tail won't let you go. Can you sleep with me, MC? You can continue stroking my tail when I fall asleep. And make sure you don't leave my side. Promise?"
it's glad to be back. 💖
masterlist ♡
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This is part 2/3 I write this now for Asmodeus, Satan and Mammon
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Let's pray for a moment for your bullies because it is very likely that they will not survive Satan's wrath.
You had always been a bit of a sloppy person and others thought it was a lot of fun.
But Satan does not laugh...
He becomes very angry whenever someone is mean to you.
First, Satan (threatens) asks them to stop your bullying.
And if the brain cells of your bullies are dead, they will continue to bully you.
And then Satan has fun.
Your bullies will disappear quickly
If you ask what happened to them, Satan just says he "only took care of the problem."
"Don't bother your little head with such useless things"
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You had a slightly peculiar style and often others mocked you for it.
Asmo loved how you dared to be yourself.
He also loved how he can defend you from your bullies and be a "prince on a white horse."
But if someone teases you very seriously, Asmo won’t take it well.
You can be sure that Asmo will destroy the social life of the bullies.
After that, Asmo comforts you and whispers things that comfort you.
He will take advantage of this and try to isolate you.
Asmo just wants to protect his "true love".
" Don’t worry about them darling they are not worth your attention"
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Mammon is actually a little happy that people are bullying you.
Because it means you spend more time with him.
Still, if the bullying gets too serious or you are very sensitive Mammon will defend you and isolate you.
Because "the great and mighty Mammon" can protect his own partner.
Mammon will lock you in his room and support you.
Lots of hugs
Mammon tells you every day that he does this just to protect you.
Praise you often
If you praise him and tell how well he handled the situation Mammon is happy.
If you even hint at something in that direction Mammon will be happy.
He just wants to protect you
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idontknowmyownmind · 5 hours ago
Another Mammoney headcanons
Angel Mammon AU
The brothers thought that Mammon had died during the Celestial War while in fact he is still alive and continues his life as an angel.
• An AU where Michael was ordered to not stop or kill the brothers but to actually distract them enough to get Mammon.
• I don't know, I just think that Mammon is not good enough to be an angel but too good to be a demon. But he is the one you want.
• He loves unconditionally and once you gain it, he will give everything for you.
• In Celestial War, Michael and some trusted angels (including Simeon) are sent to get Mammon to their Father.
• They somehow manage to make him unconscious.
• One of them orchestrated it and it seemed like they managed to kill Mammon and let the brothers know.
• They secretly bring Mammon's unconscious body to the presence of God.
• God rewrote Mammon's memory of his 'previous' life, making him a 'new' person or 'newborn angel'.
• He lives with Simeon and Luke.
• Simeon is ordered to make sure that Mammon doesn't get his memory back and still, will always, in Celestial realm grasp.
• Mammon still has his virtue, Charity.
• Luke knows half the truth.
• The exchange program still happens and Mammon is the third angel that is sent into Devildom.
• So the exchange students are 3 angels, Simeon, Luke and Mammon, and 1 human, Solomon.
• Mammon is the last being summoned.
• While they are waiting for him, Luke grumbles about wanting 'Mammy' to arrive now so he doesn't need to care about the demons.
• The brothers who heard what he said twitched at the familiar 'name'.
• Satan knows about Mammon vaguely from Lucifer's memories.
• AND!! When the last students finished being summoned! *Intense drum roll* the brothers face to face with their 'dead' brother!!!
Another AU
• The demon king 'spy' his kingdom through Mammon's eyes.
• I'm torn between making Mammon aware about this or not.
• He knew and let it happen.
• Sometimes he talks with the king. I imagine the king's personality is kind of like the demon king in the 'Beelzebub' anime.
• Or he doesn't know, that's why sometimes he feels weirdly tired when he has done nothing or feels a strange rush of power within him.
• The demon king is able to possess and use Mammon's body as his own.
Mind control AU
• A witch or ancient creature using Mammon.
• It's either for their own personal reason or they just want to wreck havoc.
• But the strongest thing I want is whatever manages to control or manipulate Mammon is actually obsessed with him, possessive even. A twisted love.
• If I go with the first choice, it will start small and secretly before slowly but steadily become something bigger.
• And for the strongest choice, surprisingly, I want it to happen not too frequently. Just a random moment where Mammon acts not like himself.
• It's never something big, that's why the brothers do not catch anything wrong.
• Since they are obsessive and possessive with Mammon, automatically they don't like, hate, the brothers.
• In one big event where the brothers went too far and they were boiling with rage and blinded by their 'love' toward Mammon, they kind of reveal the curse or something that makes the brothers aware that Mammon has been under it for who knows how long.
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www-artforoddballs · 9 hours ago
Demon bros at college: Broad overlooks (pt.???)
It's 213 AM and I can't be left alone with my thought so LET'S GOOOOOOO
Ok first of all
I see certain brothers as instructors and others as students.
Luci (obviously)
Asmodeus (BIG maybe)
Asmo (maybe)
So Beel would be a coach of some sort and my GF and I discussed it so we think Luci would either be a music instructor, math teacher, English teacher, or history teacher
We couldn't decide on which one but this man is used to being overworked anyways so we'll go with music/English professor
If Asmo was an instructor it'd be for cosmetology
Anyways, they all show up in a limo or some shit and, for obvious reasons, people can't help but stare...whether it's because they, y'know, showed up in a limo, or if it's because they're attractive, or even if it's just like "Hey who tf are you people", they get stared at. Obviously mixed reactions.
Because how hard can an American College be for a year?
Yeah they're screwed
And I say AMERICAN as in USA because I myself am American and I don't feel like I have the authority to comment on the school systems of other countries. Sorry, I know this is kinda uninclusive, I don't mean to be that way, I just know I'll end up offending someone either way 😓
Alright it's days later at 3 AM and I'm continuing the post because I still can't be left alone with myself and insomnia is a bitch 😂😂😂
God, Lucifer having to deal with all the Chads? All the Karens? All the entitled brats and parents?
He can't kill or harm any of these people. The last bit of his sanity will be gone forever.
Because humanity is ✨the worst✨, people would probably bully Levi for being autistic
And oh BOY would those people have fun at exactly midnight in 365 days when the brothers are no longer confined to not using the full extent of their powers and aren't legally binded to protect the students (even though their lives would've been made a living hell once they found out this happened but I digress).
I feel like Asmodeus would just host casual o*gy parties because...well, because why NOT
Belphie and Satan would spend most of their time in their rooms or in the library. Sometimes the library. Because other students HAVE to be quiet in the library. Not so much the forms-
Mammon would set up an underground gambling thing for students because, again, WHY NOT
And so on
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Mind taking this poll for me, please? It’s about a series I might make and I’d like some input from as many people as possible — all I really need is a name! If you could please spread this I’d be incredibly thankful ^-^
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thewritetofreespeech · 11 hours ago
Could I get some NSFW Headcannons for Satan and Solomon from OB. Those two are just my favorite ❤️❤️
yaaay! not enough things for our bookish boys out there! happy to help
NSFW Headcanons for Satan & Solomon
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Satan prefers having sex with people he has an emotional connection with, over quick hook ups. The mind is the biggest, sexist organ in the body. Second is his penis.
Prefers morning sex, if given the option.
Not a big talker during sex, but likes his partner to be very vocal. Either with dirty talk or just making noises.
Favorite sexual position is The Saucy Spoon. He likes to hold them close from behind while he fucks them.
Hasn't used a lot of toys before. However, he would be into them from an 'academic' standpoint of seeing how they work.
Into pet play. Can you guess which pet it is? Would you like a hint kitten.....
Has the crowning achievement of the longest dick out of the brothers. Average thickness, if not slightly narrower, but definitely the longest.. 
He is also has the bronze medal of the brothers for giving oral. Asmo is first. Beel is second.
He’s a breast/chest man
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Sexually promiscuous and fluid. There is a reason he’s bonded with Asmo.
He has had sex with Asmo. First, as part of their bonding contract, but now whenever he’s bored. It’s less frequent now that they are both rivals for MC.
Magic Sex. Not in that the sex is magical = great (it is) but legit magical sex. Levitation, manipulation of the elements, casting spells on stones that resemble the shape and size of a particular spot on the body so when he rubs it you feel it on you. Magic Sex.
Aside from Magic Sex, he also uses his partner sometimes for Sex Magic. Ritual spell that require sexual energy to complete. It’s for the greater good here.
Favorite sexual position is The Face off. He likes to look his partner in the eye, but also be sitting up and close enough to them to kiss whenever he wants.
He’s circumcised
Fine at oral, but much prefers fingering to it. His hands are magic (that’s the last magic pun)
Into light dom elements. Or, hard dom elements if it’s what his partner wants
Despite being sexually promiscuous and fluid, he is not a sharer. No one is aloud to touch his partner other than him. This includes Asmo.
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thecursedpriestess · 12 hours ago
Father’s Day: Obey Me! Verse HC
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Kikyou is not above making casual and light ‘daddy’ jokes at Lucifer. While it is a painful day for her, she would focus on ensuring the brothers do something for their eldest brother. They may be demons, but at times needed prodding like children. It is just a reminder to appreciate all the hard work their eldest sibling does. And while they organize what they have to do, she’d be playfully teasing him all day long.
The only time she’d desist is if his annoyance was leaning towards the lethal side or when the time comes for her temporary departure back to the human realm for a few days. For while the brothers celebrate father’s day with their sibling, Kikyou will be speaking with her sister and spending time at her parents’ graves. A tradition stretching back into her early teenage years when she had lost her parents. Every year, she’d visit their graves on their birthdays, mother/father day, her own birthday and Christmas.
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thats-sammy · 13 hours ago
You know when some kids see McDonald's they're like "I WANT A HAPPY MEAL😩" and they throw a fit until they get it... Tsukishima is that one adult who pulls into McDonald's and buys a Happy Meal, and the eats it in front of the kid. 😭🖐🏼
Happy father's day... Lmao image have a dad couldn't be me 😭
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minteyeddevil · 13 hours ago
Father's Day Special!
(Fathers day always makes me emotionally sad so why not fight it with some fluffy times for these demons! ^^)
Despite not being a morning demon, he is up well before you and the children are, already set at his desk in the study. Deep in paperwork, you take advantage of him being distracted to make him a cup of Hell Coffee and breakfast, the two little ones carefully holding the plate and mug as you lead them to him.
You knock on the door and you hear him call ‘Enter’, before opening the door and letting the children run on in. He looks up and beams as they approach him, happily hollering “Papa, papa, we made you something!” They hand him the now somewhat messy plate of food and the cup of coffee, but than run back up to you to get the cards they made for him.
He looks at the handmade cards quizzically, reading the “Happy Father’s Day!” written on each one in crayon, before looking to you. “It’s a Human Realm tradition. Once a year we celebrate the fathers in our lives, so I figured the kids could make something to celebrate you.” You also inform him that you spoke with Diavolo, and he has been ordered to take the rest of the day off to spend it with you and the children.
He chuckles slightly and that trademark smirk reaches his lips as he stands and pulls you in for a kiss, whispering a ‘Thank you’, and turns to bend down and embrace his little ones who happily leap into his arms, thanking them as well for his gifts.
Being the weekend, the demon is still deep in sleep in your shared bed, as you slowly slip out to start working on your surprise for him. Your child wakes up a little after you, and you motion for them to follow to the kitchen where you plan on making a stack of pancakes for Mammon. You both get covered in flour in the process, laughing together but satisfied with the stack you have made, covering them in whip cream and strawberries.
You then help your little one design a card for Mammon, drawing a picture of the three of you together in crayon, and they happily hold it over their head, ready to bolt back into your bedroom to show their papa. You have to slow them down, place the food on your tray, and then lead them back to the bedroom.
Slowly you both step in, and you place the tray next to the bed, leaning down to wake Mammon with a kiss. He grumbles but wakes up, smirking at you and kisses you again, until he notices the stack of pancakes and the hand drawn card. “Happy Father’s Day!” you both exclaim, and when he looks confused, you explain how it is a tradition in the Human Realm to celebrate fathers once a year, hence you two making the day special for him. No, he isn’t crying at all when he pulls the both of you in for a tight hug, smothering you in kisses.
You had been doing your best to keep things a secret from Levi for a while, because you knew the moment he found out, he would flip his lid. He had been asking you for what seemed like a month if you had seen the newest anime release available on Akuzon, but you kept telling him ‘no’, though had actually bought it for him as a surprise gift for Father’s Day.
You were going to make a day out of watching it, working with your little one to get all his favorite (and theirs as well) snacks and food to have for the all night marathon. They tried their best to draw a picture of Ruri-chan as well for him, since they knew she was his favorite as well.
When the day came, you both had everything set up and ready, surprising him with a ‘Happy Father’s Day!’ when he came back from being out with his brothers. He had heard of the tradition before, and was so thrown that you went through all the trouble just for him; but you gave him a kiss telling he deserved it. He was the slightest bit peeved that you hide the anime from him, but he was brought to tears by the drawing your little one made for him.
It is extremely rare to catch this demon by surprise, but you still tried none the less. You and your child worked on a book together, placing photos of the three of you, drawings they made for him, and even some pictures of cats into it. Whenever he would come around, you would do your best to hide it; he of course would notice, but never seemed to question you about it.
Once Father’s Day came around, you and the little one worked in the kitchen to make him his favorite meal, and took it to him in his room, your child carrying the book you both made. As soon as you opened the door, though, the little one bolted right for him, excitedly yelling, “Daddy, daddy, look! We made you a thing!”
He smiles warmly at them before taking the book and opening it, flipping through the pages, his smile only widening. You shake your head and laugh a bit, placing the tray of food next to him and kiss him. “Happy Father’s Day,” you say warmly, sitting next to him. He knew it was Father’s Day, having studied much about the human world; but he was so very thankful for you and the little one celebrating him like this.
From the moment he wakes up, he is usually glued to you and your children, always wanting to do things together; so surprising him for Father’s Day was a hard feat. With some help from his brothers, you manage to get him pulled away from the HoL for a few hours, long enough for you to set up his room into a little spa, made by you and your children.
They bubble with excitement, making drawings and signs for the different sections of the room, like where he will get his hair done and nails done, things of that nature. So when he comes home, he is welcomed into his own spa day, courtesy of you and your children. “Happy Father’s Day!” the three of you cry when he walks in, and he is awe of how well they set everything up. He smothers you in kisses as a thank you, and then let’s himself be taken care of by your two little ones.
Though they muss his hair and paint his nails sloppily, he could not be happier letting them play with him. You also promise him a professional spa day for him later in the week, and he can’t thank you enough for celebrating him as you are.
While he is out at the gym, you get to work in the kitchen with the help of your twins and even Belphegor. He helps you to cook as many of Beel’s favorite dishes as you can, while the little ones work away at making cards for him on the counter. You’re tired and messy when you finally finish, but stand there for a moment, satisfied with all the work the lot of you did.
When Beel gets home, you usher him into your bedroom, trying to get him to avoid the kitchen since all the food is already been set up; you want him to be surprised, and Belphie watches the kids for you two while you both shower. Once finally clean, you then lead him into the kitchen where his twin and your twins are now waiting for him.
“Happy Father’s Day!” you all exclaim, catching him completely off guard as he looks around the room before his eyes falling quizzically on you. You explain what Father’s Day is, and emphasize it’s to celebrate him and show how much he means to you and your little ones. They come running up and hand him all the cards and drawings they made for him, and he starts to get teary eyed, pulling them in for a tight hug. He thanks you for all the food you made and kisses you over and over before letting himself delve into the dishes, of course making sure you all eat with his as well.
Though he usually fights his need for sleep to spend time with you and your child, you give him the opportunity to rest some while you and the little one decide to go out for a while. You take advantage of this to pick up a gift for him for Father’s Day, and set up the Planetarium for the evening to spend together. Loads of pillows and blankets are strewn about the room, and you make his brothers swear to not bother you all for that night.
When you return to the attic to wake him, he is groggy but greets you with a smile and pulls you in for a lazy kiss. You urge him to get up and follow you, but he gives out annoyed groans, until your little one starts jumping on him. Than he gets up and follows you to your surprise.
The Planetarium is strung up with soft fairy lights that gift off just a soft enough glow to not dim the stars above, and he looks at it in awe before turning to you and questioning what it’s for. “A Father’s Day gift,” you say with a soft smile, and he flusters a bit, saying he doesn’t deserve something like this; you shush him and give him a peck on the cheek. Your little one runs up with the gift you got for him; a book on the different stars and constellations of the Devildom, and they ask him to read it to them. He is more than happy to do so, as the three of you sit in the bundle of pillows and blankets, looking up at the sky.
It's very hard to get a surprise over on Dia considering he has a hand in almost everything going on, especially when it comes to you and your child. But you manage to sneak off with the help of Lucifer and Barbatos, who distract him with issues concerning RAD.
You and the little one go shopping for him, finding him a gorgeous golden watch set, and the ingredients to make his favorite hellfire mushroom rolled cigar cookies. When you get home and prepare your gifts, your little one goes about making him a paper crown out of construction paper and glitter, writing 'Best Papa' on the crown in crayon.
You two enter his office where he is finishing up the paperwork with Barbatos and Lucifer, when your little one bolts between the other two demons and straight for their father, jumping to put the paper crown on his head. He is all smiles and laughter as you both wish him a Happy Father's Day, giving him his gifts and cookies. He pulls the both of you into his lap, hugging you tightly and praising you for doing something so special for him.
Though it pains you how busy your demon husband always is, you get to take advantage of it for this special day. You and the children go and shop for him, buying his favorite tea as well as some of Madam Scream’s Macarons that you know he enjoys. One of your little ones sees a green plush bat, and immediately begs you if they can get it for him as well. You also buy him a new pair of silk gloves and the children a bag of candy to share with him.
You set up your shared room with a small table and place the now wrapped gifts on it, your children sprawled out on the floor with markers making pictures as gifts as well. When he finally enters the room, the little ones practically tackle him in excitement, handing him their drawings and drag him to the table to see what they got for him.
He smiles and questions if this is all for Father’s Day, surprising you that he knew of the tradition; but you nod, “We wanted to celebrate you for being such an amazing father.” His cheeks gain a bit of color as he opens the gifts, thanking you with a kiss and turning to pull the children in for a tight hug. They sit with the both of you and share the treats you bought, asking him about his day while making a small mess of themselves with the candy.
You both are usually awake at the same time every morning, so you have to put in quite a bit of effort to wake up before him. You prepare breakfast and tea, setting up the table nicely with flowers in the center, and go to check on the children who are also still sleeping. Thankfully you planned ahead and had them work on their gifts for him the night before, so you take their gifts and place them on the table as well.
Everything is set up, so you go and gently wake your angel up with soft kisses to his cheek. He stirs and groggily smiles at you before pulling you in for sleepy kisses. You manage to get him out of bed and walk with him to the kitchen where the sunlight is coming in just right to make everything look romantic and serene. He asks what all of this is for and you explain it is a Father's Day gift for him, something you celebrate in the human world.
He pulls you in for a tight hug and kisses you over and over, thanking you for the lovely morning. While you are serving him his plate, the children come running up and wrap their arms around him, asking if he liked the cards he made for them. He beams happily at them and says he will cherish them forever.
He's been busy at his desk for hours, working on mixtures and his latest spell, leaving you time to get things ready for your surprise. You and your child go around town, gathering ingredients to bake a large cake, thanks to Barbatos' teachings. While getting the things you need, you happen upon a matching pendant set, and buy it as a gift to give him.
As you are putting together everything you need for the cake, your little one sits at the table, making a drawing of the three of you holding hands, and writes in big letters, "Happy Father's Day!" at the top of it, holding it up proudly. Once everything is finished and set in place, you go and retrieve the sorcerer, finally getting him to step away from his desk.
When he steps out of the room, your little one grabs his hand and drags him to the kitchen, and immediately hands him the drawing they made, bouncing up and down excitedly. He smiles warmly at them and ruffles their hair, thanking them for the picture, and takes in the delicious looking cake. "I honestly forgot it was Father's Day in the Human Realm," he remarks bashfully, but you dismiss his worry and give him a kiss, before handing him your present. The matching pendants are grayish blue stones in silver setting, one for him and one for you. He happily puts his on, and then yours on you, placing a small enchantment on it in hopes it keeps you close to him.
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devildom-grimoire · 14 hours ago
hi there! I've been loving your matchups and I was wondering if you could do one for me 🥺.
My name is Shaiel but I go by shashi most of the time, I'm 4'11" short dark haired gemini. I am a Latin American poet, photographer and actress :) I love learning in general and I've self taught myself 2 languages.
I enjoy all types of music but I love classical <3 I am high key a tea and literature (specially japanese) enthusiast and a tarot reader on my free time. I am quite bubbly and pretty much the mom friend of every group setting lol, I tend to be empathic and emotionally intelligent as well as extremely honest.
I enjoy sharing little moments and my main goal in life is to be happy.
Thank you in advance! I hope you have a beautiful day/night whenever you are reading this <333🥰
Hi, Shashi (may I call you that?), and thank you for the kind words! I hope this makes your day/night even better!
If you gave him a love poem, he would blush; as he’s a fellow writer, and you took your time on this to convey how you feel about him. You can expect an equally as moving poem back, made just for you.
Simeon greatly appreciates that you’re extremely honest, as honesty, especially in a relationship, is very important to him; he will of course be extremely honest to you as well.
He would enjoy having quiet dates, drinking tea with you, and if you brought your tarot cards to practice, he would be willing to help you; fair warning though, he visibly sweats if you pull The Devil, he’s just a little superstitious of it.
You guys often speak in between the languages that you speak, and in any that you’re learning. He’ll also help you with getting any resource material that you may need as well.
The energy in the studio is immaculate; it’s like a breath of fresh air and it’s so nice and peaceful. Just *clutches my chest* beautiful.
I hope you like it!
If you enjoyed this consider helping me move! Here's the post and my Ko-fi!
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luckykatbot · 15 hours ago
How the brothers would react to you blushing at a flirt/compliment they gave you
Lucifer: *beams with a mature sense of pride* why of course darling MC you'd be flustered at my words, awww come on let me see your blush~please~
Mammon:H-hey! Mc!my treasure don't hide that blush! Thats..that's mine.Cmere, let the Great Mammon see it will ya?
Levi: Awww Mc! Mc! did...did I make your heart go doki doki? Can can I do it again please?! please with rurichan sprinkles on top??
Satan: Mc your blush is adorable I am at a loss for words. No amount of poetry in the 3 worlds can describe how your blush makes me feel
Asmo: AWW MC darling please oh please, I'm begging you with all of my wicked heart: please let me take a picture of you and I together, and post it on Devilgram!~ Your cute blushing matches my hair color nicely!~ Its like we're meant to be together!~<3
Beel: oooh...a cute cupcake with rose pink frosting *licks your face* just wow: are you sure I'm not dreaming??? Becuase i ever see something as pretty as you blushing in my sleep.
Thanks so much for reading!~ Rememeber to reblog and to leave a heart!~ -Kat
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astairekin · 15 hours ago
kabedonning with the boys
note from kin: i’m going to be trying to include luke platonically when i do these group headcanons, so his section is about him saving you from being kabedonned by two of the others rather than doing any actual kabedonning - since i couldn’t figure out a way to fit him into a kabedon scenario without accidentally making it seem romantic in some way
the dateable characters have two sections - 1. doing the kabedonning and 2. being kabedonned. luke also has two sections, but for him it’s 1. what he does when simeon kabedons you, and 2. what he does when lucifer kabedons you, relating back to those two respective characters’ sections
i make a few references to the clinginess piece here and there but i don’t think you have to have read that one to understand them
fandom: obey me!
character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, beel, belphie, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon
pairing(s): demon bros/reader, side-dateables/reader, luke & reader
warning(s): uhhhh i make a jojo reference if that counts (also this is another big one, heads up)
genre: fluff
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lucifer does kind of half-kabedon you on the daily but they don’t really count - they’re just him sidling in front of you to block off the outside world a little so that no one tries to interrupt a moment or a conversation
actual full on, aggressive hand-slam kabedons are actually quite few and far between
he typically doesn’t like doing them because it’s a very obvious ploy for attention and it kind of hurts his pride to need to go to that extent for it
also he finds them a little brutish. like, he’s all about the dominance stuff or whatever, but isn’t shoving the object of your affections into a wall kinda unnecessary?? (plus he’s a little worried he’ll hurt you by accident because demon strength and all that)
when he does do it, it’s usually to get back at you if you’ve been teasing him, or if you’ve gotten him all flustered in a public setting where he really doesn’t want to be caught looking like romeo when he first saw juliet
it’s kind of his way of trying to take control of the situation - being so flustered and unable to properly articulate all the fuzzy feelings bubbling up in him makes him feel like he’s lost all power in this situation, and while he’d probably trust you with every ounce of his actual power should it come down to it, it still makes his pride hurt a bit
the aforementioned fuzzy feelings usually translate into the whole hand-slam thing - the louder the thud (or the ‘don’, if you will), the more flustered he’s feeling
but, because he’s generally already in a bit of a tizzy by this point, it’s very easy to get him even more flustered
look in directly in the eyes. that’s it he’s gone
when he does this whole embarrassment-driven kabedon thing, he’s usually got his head bent so that you can’t see his face clearly, so you’ll have to either tilt his head back up with your hand or bend down to look up into his face. either way he’s going to implode
hopefully you don’t have any plans in the near future because once lucifer’s calmed down his heart a little bit you’re not going anywhere anytime soon
if you were anyone else you would have to have balls of absolute STEEL to have the nerve to try to kabedon lucifer
luckily you are not anyone else, so that rule doesn’t apply to you
so! lucifer generally responds to being kabedonned in three ways
1. smooth: lucifer looks at you for a moment, chuckles, then kisses you
this is the most common response because lucifer is in general a very smooth demon (when you haven’t already pre-flustered him to high heaven)
he won’t say it aloud but he very much likes it when this happens
anything that gives him an excuse to kiss you is a good thing to him tbh
2. windows system failure: exactly what it says on the tin. lucifer’s mind goes completely blank and he just stands there against the wall staring at you like ‘huh’
this is second most common and usually happens when you kabedon him while he’s preoccupied with thinking about something
his mind’s still half focused on that other thing but he’s also dimly aware that something has just happened. he’s not entirely sure what, but it sure did happen
this one usually then leads into 1 but it can on occasion lead to...
3. heart-shake: lucifer goes bright red and is unable to speak because his heart is performing a full circus acrobat routine in his chest
this is the least common response and it happens either when you’ve already been teasing/flustering him before the kabedon, or if you kabedon him particularly forcefully and/or smirk while doing it
something about you being all assertive and taking clear charge of the situation is just extremely attractive to him and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it
(you get bonus points if you flip him kabeddoning you into you kabedonning him because… good lord does that give him butterflies)
in crass terms it’s basically just a ‘holy shit that was hot’ moment
(if he’s completely honest though, lucifer has about three of those per week because you just keep finding more ways to be unbearably enchanting)
have fun trying to shake lucifer off after this response though because he gets… whew, he gets intense
mammon kabedons you on a regular basis, and he’ll do it for anything
has your attention been off him for too long? kabedon. were you being a little too nice to that other demon back there? kabedon. have you been looking especially lovely today and don’t even seem to realise it yourself and it’s driving him CRAZY whenever you do anything? kabedon.
however these kabedons don’t actually usually go like they’re ‘supposed’ to go, mostly because your reaction will usually make mammon forget that he’s supposed to be all dominant and stuff
if you get flustered by the kabedon he is just so endeared that he can’t keep it up
he can’t maintain the cool guy act if you start stuttering and like avoiding eye contact because he’s just internally screeching
he’ll last for a maximum of five more seconds and then start grinning goofily and just pulls you into a big hug
might spin you around a bit, might nuzzle into your hair, who knows?
however, if you’re unfazed, he starts getting flustered himself
he is just so weak for those eyes of yours and with you just staring at him like that… he can’t take it
he’ll stop kabedonning you at that and just kind of turn away to try to disguise the way his cheeks have flamed off, muttering something half-heartedly about how you’re no fun
pro-tip! use this chance to catch him off-guard with a kiss. trust me, he’s gonna love it. he may also overheat so much he explodes but that just comes with the territory
if you want a kiss from mammon, however, the best thing to do is to be playful about it when he kabedons you
smile, ask him what he’s doing with a little lilt in your voice, tilt your head to the side just the teeniest bit, etc, etc - nothing that’ll fluster him too much, but just enough to make him heat up a little
he’ll grin goofily back, reply with a heartfelt little one-liner, then lean in
it’s like the two of you are in a romance movie honestly, it’s just that cheesy
mammon usually starts automatically blushing pretty much as soon as you touch him, but it takes his brain a few seconds to figure out exactly how you’re touching him and— okay whoa is this happening right now???
his instinctive response once he’s caught up with what’s going on is just to clap his hands to his face
and, since we can’t see his expression right now, why don’t we take a peek inside his mind? here we go!
‘this is the best thing ever i think i’m gonna have a heart attack is this even legal how is this possible i’m gonna to die i’m gonna drop dead right here and now but at least i’ll die a happy demon’
this is a rule with mammon: whenever he’s with you, no matter how cool and collected he seems to be, his mind is almost certainly going off the rails in one way or another
whether it’s gushing about how much fun he’s having with you or how nice you make him feel or just general awed admiration
like how the light is hitting you at just the right angle and making it look like you’re glowing like some ethereal being and honestly, to mammon, you might as well be
anyway back to the kabedonning
mammon already generally thinks you are both the cutest and hottest being that there is (if you think those two traits can’t co-exist, take it up with asmo), but when you do things like this… oh boy
if you pointed one of those security infra-red scanners at him he would be entirely red, probably with very aggressive waves of red coming off of him as well
he might as well be considered a nuclear threat at this point
and, much like a lot of nuclear threats do, he’s about to blow up
figuratively speaking
whether you decide to wait the whole process out or speed it up by pulling his hands away from his face - once he’s stopped boiling over like an unwatched pot, he’s basically throwing himself at you
are you ready for all these kisses? because, fasten your seatbelt, you are GETTING them
levi’s watched romance anime. he’s read romance manga. he’s seen kabedons. of COURSE he’s dreaming of doing it himself some day
easier said than done, though, because levi’s about as good at executing romantic gestures as joseph joestar is at flying planes
he’s tried to do it so many times and every single time he chickens out last minute
and of course there’s an element of insecurity at play here, too - do you even want to be kabedonned by him? what if you find it so unattractive and repulsive that you just straight up leave him?
he’d die. he’d keel over and pass away right there. father’s gonna have to make some room because levi’s soul’s coming home sooner than expected
it’s not like kabedons are even required in a relationship for it to work, but once he’s got it into his head, he can’t stop thinking about doing it, even if it might end in failure
and then, one fateful day…
the two of you are just hanging out in his room, playing some platformer, and then lucifer calls you both down for dinner
you get up and stretch, then start making your way out the room, but levi doesn’t move
he’s so content in this little bubble that he doesn’t want you to go - he doesn’t want this warm feeling to disappear so quickly
so, just as you pause in front of the door to ask him if he’s coming, levi gets up and swiftly backs you up against the wall
then, as you ask him what he’s doing, he abruptly slaps his hand onto the wall behind you
if you’re a little stunned, levi himself is at least a hundred times more so. like, where did that come from?? it’s like some anime alpha male possessed him for a second
well he’s here now so he might as well make the most of the situation
his voice goes quiet and he leans in close, as if you two aren’t the only people in the room and you’d be able to hear him clearly anyway
“can we… stay here for a bit longer?”
well. looks like you aren’t getting any dinner today
levi has thought plenty about kabedonning you, but he’s never even considered that you might kabedon him
it just didn’t occur to him that it was even a possibility??
so when you do so for the first time, his first response is just to straight up scream
well it isn’t really a full-blown scream, it’s more of a really high pitched ‘wEH?!’
think waluigi but more short and snappy, and also a whole lot more panicked. also he’s on helium
he starts just stuttering furiously and the words he’s saying don’t… sound like words at all???
here, i’ll give you the transcript. imagine these words and sounds have been put in a blender and then sprayed out through a hose - that’s what levi sounds like saying them
“i— huh— you— hand? me? hand me? you— huh— wuh— uh— what—”
you just smile knowingly (you’d anticipated this response already) and kiss him
there’s a very long moment of stunned silence, and then levi’s off again
you’ve just turned the speed on the blender up to 100, and now it doesn’t even sound like he’s saying anything in any language at all
if you recorded this and then played it to a voice activated ai like siri, the entire device would just shut down
levi’s flustered on the regular by every other thing you do , but this is on a whole new level - and he has no idea how to deal with it
in the end he just kind of collapses forwards and hides his face in your shoulder
you laugh and pat him on the back as he grips onto the back of your shirt or jacket or jumper, still mumbling unintelligibly
you’ll have to give him a while to recover, and you might want to guide him to somewhere more comfy where you two can sit/lie down, because he’s not removing his face from your shoulder anytime soon
give him more warning next time, he nearly passed out
[five minutes later]
levi: “that was the most terrifying thing ever, i thought my heart was gonna fail ”
you: “sorry, sorry”
levi: “ it again”
out of everyone, satan’s the only one who fully commits to and properly goes through with kabedons regularly, and those kabedons usually happen in libraries
satan’s seen plenty of romantic dramas and rom-coms in his time, and he’s seen a lot of canoodling in libraries, especially when the romance is in a university or high school setting
study date meet-cutes, love interests’ hands brushing when they reach for the same book, doing some gross couple-y stuff in one of the more unpopular aisles, and, of course, kabedons
and satan’s both very easily influenced by the stuff he watches and (for some reason) can get really competitive with other couples, even fictional ones
it’s like ‘oh, you think YOU’RE a cute couple? watch and learn, you silly little baby man’
thus: he too must have a very romantic moment in a library with you, and it has to be BETTER than all those fictional couples’ moments
he has a bit of a modus operandi when it comes to the kabedons, to the point where you can usually spot when he’s planning one about five minutes before he actually does it
(it’s not that he invites you on library dates specifically because he’s planning to kabedon you in the corner at some point during it, it just often hits him halfway through said dates that this would be one great Romantic Opportunity )
he’ll not-so-sneakily get you to come with him to a quiet aisle by the wall, where he’ll start pretending to be browsing the books
then he’ll use some poor excuse to call you over (one time it was ‘hey, look, there’s a dead fly on the shelf’)
and then he executes the kabedon
it kind of gives you emotional whiplash because when he pushes you into the corner and places his hand firmly on the wall beside your head he seems so decisive and confident, but then suddenly he’s smiling all gently and leaning in
his kisses are so soft?? it’s kind of like he’s apologising for being forceful with the pushing just earlier with them
(the librarian is usually fully aware this is happening but they’re too scared of satan to intervene)
it’s unexpectedly hard to catch satan in the right situation to kabedon him because he’s usually sitting about with a book and it’s nearly impossible to efffectively kabedon someone in a chair
keyword here being nearly because you’ll be damned if you aren’t going to try
first you need to choose the right moment - the kabedon will be most effective if you do it when he’s least expecting it
so you’ll wait until he’s fully absorbed in his book - you can tell when he is because he’ll bringing the book closer and closer to his face
you’re also going to need to take into account the environment - he’s sitting on the sofa in the middle of the room, so there’s no wall to slam your hand against
thus, you’ll just have to make do with the back of the sofa itself
alright, that’s the plan done with. time to GO IN
at this point, satan’s already very dimly aware that you’re planning something - as preoccupied by his book as he is, he’s always got room in his mind to observe you
but, like i said, it’s very dimly, and he most definitely isn’t expecting you to suddenly get up and push him back into the sofa, then cage him in by slamming your hand beside his head
his first thought goes something like this: 'wuh HUH?!”
his second thought is: ‘okay. you know what. this is very attractive actually.’
his book has long since fallen out of his hands at this point, and he’s just kind of sitting there and staring dumbly up into your face, which is, like, distractingly close
then you smirk at him. how DARE????
how DARE you be so charming. how DARE you make him feel like his heart’s about to burst right of his chest. how DARE you do this and NOT immediately kiss him????????
he’s fixing that right this instant, so you better be prepared
book be damned, he’s an idiot and he’s in love, and you’re also an idiot but you’re a beautiful idiot that by some miracle of the universe is his, and he’s going to die if he doesn’t have you close within two (2) seconds
asmo’s not really a ‘kabedon’ kind of guy, he’s more of a ‘run up from behind and tackle-hug around the waist’ kind of guy
he’s not someone who needs to be in a dominant kind of position, figuratively speaking - and he finds it incredibly alluring when you take up that role, so he usually just leaves it open for you to do so
that being said, he doesn’t not enjoy being in that position either
it’s asmo, he’s into pretty much anything under the sun
to be honest he’s not entirely sure what a kabedon is because he doesn’t really watch a lot of dramas or anime or anything that might include a kabedon, he just knows that it’s a term and that it involves walls
he may be the avatar of lust but he can’t be aware of every possible romantic move out there
then one day, while out shopping together, he sees a couple in the shoe section who are decidedly not browsing the shoes
he points them out to you, something vague about how odd the way they’re standing is, and you take a look, then laugh and explain what’s going on over there to him as you move off into a different section of the shop
he seems to be pretty intrigued by the concept - he’s actually paying more attention to your explanation that he is to all the pretty suits and dresses around him, and soon enough it becomes obvious why
and then, as soon as your explanation’s over, he abruptly catches you by the wrist, backs you up against the wall, and performs the most flawless kabedon ever
like i don’t think you understand how smooth it was. if it was an x-factor performance he would have gotten the golden buzzer. if it was a strictly come dancing performance he would have gotten all tens. it was just THAT perfect
he leans forward, so that his nose is brushing up against yours, and stares intently into your eyes for a moment or two, one hand against the wall to keep you caged in and one hand slowly reaching up to touch your face
then he suddenly gives you a playful little kiss and pulls back again, beaming, and asks, “how was that?”
well, i’ll leave that up to you - how was that?
i said it just before, asmo is always just enamoured when you take charge over him, and this is no exception
you might as well start ringing the wedding bells yourself because when you do things like this asmo gets cupid-shot about ten times over
it’s actually quite the foreign feeling - asmo’s used to being the one shooting the arrows, not the one being struck by them - but he can’t say that he dislikes it
because honestly? he adores it
the fact that you can genuinely make him feel like a schoolboy experiencing love for the first time or a groom on his wedding day, the way that you can make him feel so in love - it’s just so special to him
being the avatar of lust, he’d honestly thought at one point that he wasn’t even capable of feeling genuine love for someone - that he’d only ever be able to feel desire, not real affection
but then you came along and turned just about everything he thought he knew on its head
and asmo? he couldn’t be happier
so, taking this back to the kabedon...
the instant he catches onto what you’re doing he just starts giggling furiously
it’s not like vindictive ‘haha this is so funny’ giggling or anything, it is pure, unbridled JOY
it’s like liquid happiness that’s been poured into a spray bottle and he’s just absolutely going wild with the nozzle (why does this sound vaguely euphemistic)
and asmo’s giggling is pretty infectious, so you start cracking up too
you attempt to say something reproachful to asmo for always making you lose your cool when you try to do this, and the back and forth that follows is so punctuated by laughter that the words don’t really sound like words anymore
at some point the not-words disappear and become kisses, but neither you nor asmo are ever sure when that happens
he often clings to you for a while afterwards, because moments like these are the ones he holds closest to his heart, and he always finds it hard to let them end
at this point the kabedons have kind of become an essential part of your regular affection rituals - they’re like your special little thing as a couple
beel does know what kabeddoning is, but it’s only because of levi
(he’s a good passive listener as long as he has a decent supply of food throughout whatever he’s listening to, so levi often rants to him about anime and stuff)
and he’s not particularly opposed to the idea, but it can’t be said that he definitively wants to do it, either
beel doesn’t usually have any concrete ideas about what he wants in terms of affection, whether it’s about what he wants to do or what he wants you to do. he just kind of takes each moment as it happens, and counts any acts of affection that he does get to receive or perform as a blessing
still, it doesn’t mean he’s never going to do it. it’s just only going to happen once and then he’ll probably forget it’s a thing he can do for the rest of time
what is that one time? well i’ll tell you right now
you and beel are just having a merry old time in the kitchen attempting to make cream puffs from the recipe barbatos gave you, and at one point or another, you managed to get a sizeable dollop of cream on your nose
beel has already been having a hard time refraining from eating the ingredients throughout the whole baking process, and this is just the last straw
he likes food, that’s obvious enough, but he also likes you, devastatingly so
put the two together and what do you get? the demonic equivalent of a carrot on a stick!
beel just starts shadowing your every step around the kitchen, while you remain completely oblivious to the hole he’s staring through your face
in the end he has enough of beating around the bush and just suddenly backs you up against the counter
now this isn’t the beel you know. WHO is this suddenly assertive and intimidating demon and WHERE is your sweet boy
oh! here he is! he’s swiping the cream off your face with his thumb and then kissing you on the tip of your nose :>
the kabedon’s over as soon as it begun, really, and it’s a very fleeting moment, but it definitely happened, so you can say that much
beel is hard to kabedon because he just won’t notice he’s being kabedonned - you’re gonna have to explicitly tell him what’s going on
and even then he usually doesn’t really react, he just kind of stands there like ‘is this what’s happening right now? okay.’
beel only really gets properly flustered by a select few things, and unfortunately this isn’t one of them
that doesn’t mean he dislikes it when you kabedon him - you have to get close to him to perform them, after all, and that’s always a good thing in his books - he just doesn’t have any particularly strong feelings it happening
that being said, he’ll gladly play along with your little charade if it makes you happy, and if he realises that you like it when he responds to these kabedons in a certain way, he’ll keep doing it
one of his favourite things to do when you back him up and try to look all intimidating is to just scoop you up into a giant bear hug
you’ll immediately drop that act and wriggle half-heartedly in faux-protest, though you’re definitely wrapping your arms around him as well
he also figures out at one point or another that if he just acts surprised/clueless, you’ll usually end up giving him a kiss, and he is ALL about those
(sometimes he just immediately kisses you himself when you kabedon him and you get all flustered and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever)
now, those astute among you will have noticed that i said usually beel doesn’t really react. usually doesn’t mean always, so what happens those other times?
well, every now and then, beel responds to being kabedonned with just OUTRAGEOUS happiness
actually it’s not so much the kabedon itself that has this effect on beel, it’s just the act of affection itself
like i said before, beel usually takes each act of affection as a blessing as it comes, but every now and then they hit him hard and he’s just like ‘WOW i am in love!!’
it’s like you got a shot of serotonin and just injected it straight into his brain and it’s the best feeling ever
your love hits better than any drug ever could and that’s a FACT
does it still count as kabedonning if it’s against a bed instead of a wall and you do it with two hands?
i’m pretty sure kabe means wall in japanese but you know what i’ll count it a kabedon, it has the right vibes
anyway, belphie probably kabedons you the MOST out of everyone
he’ll do it to get you to lie down to take a nap with him - like he’ll just push you down onto the mattress, hover over you for a moment with an oddly serious look on his face, then just collapse on top of you and go to sleep
you probably won’t be able to get him off anytime soon and anyway the way he’s just hugging you close is very cute, so you might as well stay put
(plus if you do push him off he’s probably just going to get up and plonk himself on top of you again)
(in case it wasn’t already obvious, these instances all involve a ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode belphie)
he’ll also do it to wake you on the rare occasion that he’s up before you - you’ll open your eyes to find a shadow over you and next thing you know belphie’s attacking your face with little kisses
it’s a nice way to begin the day and it seems to make belphie very happy as well, which is a bonus
i don’t know where belphie gets the strength to basically just plank over you, sometimes for minutes at a time (i can’t even plank for thirty seconds), but i guess it’s just sheer willpower/need for cuddles
sometimes he’ll just do it for no reason at all, he just ‘felt like it’ - like you’ll both be hanging out in the attic, messing around on your D.D.D.s or doing some homework, and he’ll suddenly just push you over and do his bed-kabedon thing
it’s one of the ways he tries to get you to pay more attention to him when he doesn’t think he’s getting enough
though when belphie’s in ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode, no amount of attention is ever enough. like he’ll want cuddles even while he’s GETTING cuddles
belphie isn’t upright enough of the time to be properly kabedonned very often
however, do not fear! it’s a very easy feat to just use his bed-kabedon trick on him
fair warning, though, it might not give you the result you’re looking for - if you want to fluster him, a bed-kabedon won’t work because he’ll just respond by immediately wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you down into his chest
and then you most likely won’t be able to move for a while because now that belphie’s decided you will be his cuddle buddy for the remaining duration of his nap, he will NOT let go
belphie, much like beel, can only be properly flustered by some very specific things, and once again, kabedons aren’t one of those things
he’s hard to fluster in general because he’s nearly always half asleep so his brain doesn’t process things enough to get flustered
like, say you manage to catch him standing for long enough to properly kabedon him. he doesn’t process the kabedon, he just processes that you touched him and are very close now and thinks ‘ah. kiss time’
it can get a little irritating because he’s not taking you seriously but he also smiles a very cute little smile and he does give you kisses anyway so you GUESS it’s okay
if belphie picks up that you seem to REALLY be into the whole kabedon thing, he’ll try to play along, but he acts it out so poorly so it just feels like he’s making fun of you
like you’ll back him up against the wall and everything and he’ll be like [holding hands up in surrender] “oh nooo please be gentle i am but a flustered boy. also you look very nice today have i told you that yet’
(i’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically what he’s saying)
he doesn’t mean to sound so sarcastic, but the way his voice naturally sounds + his bad acting just makes it come off like that
oh no now he’s made you grumpy
“nooo don’t be sad ur so cute aha”
i’m kidding i’m kidding, he doesn’t say that
but he does feel kinda bad now so he’ll probably spoil you a bit if you want him to
i’ll be frank with you, diavolo has NO idea what a kabedon is or how it works
for one thing he’s never really been into the sort of media that shows a lot of kabedonning, and for another diavolo just isn’t great with what’s ‘down with the kids’ these days
as far as he’s concerned about how dating/seduction works, the most romantic thing you can do is sword-fight anyone who tries to steal your sweetheart away, like a medieval knight
(he still has yet to do this himself but that’s mostly because everyone’s too scared of the demon lord to even think about going after his beloved, so he doesn’t get the chance to propose sword fights very often)
even if you did spend ages explaining the concept of kabedons to him, he’d probably just accidentally push you over or something while trying to do it
and then he’d spend five minutes apologising profusely and offering all sorts of treasures and treats to you so that you won’t be mad at him
diavolo just cannot have you be upset with him, it physically hurts his soul
anyway even after your explanation he still doesn’t quite get it - like, what’s the point? why do people do it? why do people enjoy getting shoved into walls???
so you try familiarising him with them by watching a couple of romance animes/dramas or whatever it is that kabedons appear in most frequently together
and every single time a kabedon happens he just turns to you with the most ‘?????’ expression you’ve ever seen
his entire face scrunches up and he just kind of looks like he’s eaten a really sour lemon
now that you’ve given him the challenge, though, he’s determined to get it right at least once, if only just to make you happy (have i ever mentioned how much he likes it when you’re happy? it makes his heart do the smiley emote)
unfortunately he still has yet to successfully pull of a kabedon, despite having tried it like five times by now
the first time he did actually accidentally push you over, the second time he fell over himself, the third time he knocked a painting off the wall… it just keeps going wrong
give him time, he’ll get there eventually
you know how earlier i mentioned that diavolo doesn’t understand why people enjoy being kabedonned? well once you do it he has an epiphany
THIS is why people kabedon each other. THIS is why so many people want to be kabedonned. THIS is why they enjoy it
sorry was that a bit too strong
it makes his heart go WHOOSH right into the hemisphere (or the devildom equivalent anyway)
it’s like one of his heartstrings is tied around your little finger
on any occasion you’re still tugging at it and making him all soft like a marshmallow, but when you do things like this, you’re doing the equivalent of tying that string to a rocket that’s about to take off
diavolo has ASCENDED (celestial realm watch out because the demon prince is about to bust through your floor)
he always responds by covering the bottom half of his face with one hand and blushing furiously, but he’s also got a massive grin (he’s partially hiding it with the hand, but when diavolo smiles like this he does it with his whole face, so you can still tell)
look, it doesn’t matter if you’re on the smaller side and not very intimidating. it still hits him like a truck that’s on fire
diavolo’s so dazed and basically high on the love feeling that he’ll probably agree to anything you ask him while kabedonning him
like you could probably ask him to dissolve the rad and replace it with a giant pancake restaurant or something and he’d just nod like “yes absolutely, whatever you want”
you’re not evil though so you don’t really take advantage of this agreeableness for much other than getting him to promise to buy you some more of a snack you like or something
(though you wouldn’t really need to kabedon him to get him to agree to that, he’d agree to do so any day, any time)
barbatos has witnessed you kabedonning his boss multiple times and every time he is impressed even more by the sheer effect you have over his young master
would you be surprised if i told you barbatos also doesn’t know what a kabedon is? probably not
unlike diavolo, though, once you explain what they are, he nails it perfectly
i mean what were we expecting it’s barbatos
the thing is that they feel kind of… robotic? like, it’s too perfect, too by the book, too exact to ones you see in anime - it’s like he looked at a step-by-step guide and followed every single word by the letter
and barbatos doesn’t do anything except for the kabedon, either - he’ll back you up against the wall, put his hand on the wall for a bit, stare at you, then just walk off again
it doesn’t help that he usually executes these kabedons when he’s still in the middle of working and just happens to pass by you, so it’s not like he can linger for long anyway
it’s like he doesn’t really understand that a kabedon is more than just about the kabedon, it’s about what you do with the situation the kabedon creates… if that makes sense
but then one day something changes
it’s evening, which means barbatos is officially on break, and the two of you are spending it taking a nice walk around the castle’s gardens
he’s just listening silently to you talk with this little smile on his face, and then that smile slowly starts becoming more thoughtful
there’s just something about the way you look in the dim light of the garden, surrounded by all these lovely flowers (though of course you are the loveliest of them all), and how content you seem to be and the feeling of your hand in his…
might as well call you fergalicious because you make this boy go loco
he subtly starts backing you up against one of the hedges, just staring real intently into your face like he usually does with the robot kabedons… except this time the intense stare becomes a gentle smile and he kisses you
it’s not a proper kabedon since it’s a hedge and he doesn’t do the hand slam (no kabe and no don, truly a tragedy), and also he didn’t really do it with the intention of it being a kabedon… but spiritually i’m counting it as one anyway
let me warn you now: kabedonning barbatos is a real bad idea. and it’s not because he’ll get irritated or anything
it’s because he passes out. no i am not joking
you back him into the wall and he hits the floor before your hand can even hit the wall
barbatos is a vanilla boy, perhaps even more so than simeon, which is pretty surprising in and of itself. i mean, a demon being less knowledgable about love than an angel, beings which literally have to live by chastity as a law?
it’s true that they’ve both been around for a while, but simeon’s been acquainted a whole host of beings with all sorts of personalities and interests and heard a bunch of weird stories over the year
barbatos on the other hand has always been kind of sheltered compared to him - being such a busy guy, he doesn’t get to go out into the world very often or meet a lot of people
and diavolo isn’t exactly a paragon of romantic knowledge either
anyway! this is why he immediately keels over when you kabedon him
he isn’t used to feeling such a sudden rush of attraction - he isn’t even completely used to having that constant warmth that pools inside him whenever he thinks of/is around you
love is a very foreign thing to barbatos, and so is this sort of… desire??? is that the word??? i don’t want to use arousal it sounds kind of weird
and his body has no idea how to handle it, so it just shuts down immediately
diavolo was concerned about this at first but since he realised that the passing out doesn’t really have any negative after-effects, he stopped getting so alarmed
now he just thinks it’s the funniest thing in the entire world
barbatos himself doesn’t hold it against you, but he would prefer that you at least refrain from knocking him out while he’s still working
(although every time he passes out like this he wakes up to you taking care of him, which is definitely not a bad thing… so maybe… it’s alright if you do it every now and then)
believe it or not, simeon is proficient at the art of the kabedon
he wasn’t at first but he is now because he just keeps doing it
in the beginning it was just a fun little thing that he saw in a tv show and wanted to give a go, but then he also started doing them whenever he wanted attention, and whoa, is this really your angel???
so let’s get into that!
simeon’s a drama queen when it comes to not getting enough of your love, and he’s not ashamed to show it
it’ll usually start out with not-very-subtle body language - shifting about to place himself closer to you, fiddling with his hands, sighing loudly and then looking at you pointedly, etc.
then, if you continue to not give him the affection he seeks, he'll start calling - i.e. he’ll cup his hands around his mouth (even though you’re both sitting pretty much next to each other) and be like “heyyyy! your angel’s over here!!! and he wants love!!! heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”
if that doesn’t work he moves onto poking you every few seconds and waiting for a response
and if that still doesn’t work, he pulls it out… the kabedon
it’s like he suddenly flips a switch - his entire demeanour just changes without so much as a warning
the playfulness completely disappears, and he leans in real close as well, smile gone and replaced with a very intimidating stare
he doesn’t say anything for a good while, and to be honest it kind of feels like he’s sizing you up to perform a murder
of course simeon doesn’t do that though
when he thinks he’s stared for long enough, he’ll pull back a bit, then tilt his head just little to the side and ask, “you’ll pay attention to me now, right?”
gonna be honest you don’t really feel like you have a choice
once you nod (or, even better, lean forward and give him a kiss), he immediately lights up
it’s like the switch has flipped back, and he beams so happily (and innocently) that you kind of forget what just happened - and he does a good job distracting you with all the affection as well
i did mention earlier that simeon is more knowledgeable in these fields than barbatos, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also react very strongly to being kabedonned
he doesn’t pass out but he gets damn close
you don’t understand how he be both so suave when kabedonning you and immediately turn into an anime schoolgirl with her first crush as soon as the tables are turned
don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, c’mon man
between this and the fact that he took nearly a month to be able to cuddle in bed with you without turning into a human torch,  it’s becoming clear that simeon will just combust whenever you do anything that has even the most remote risqué connotations
he’s fine with hugs and kisses and stuff but place a hand on his thigh or something and he immediately gets so hot that he probably manages to speed up global warming a bit (an even more impressive feat considering you’re not even in the human world)
and i guess kabedons fall under the category of risqué to him???
to be fair this extremely flustered response comes mostly when you do the kabedons in a kind of dominantly flirty manner (idk how to put it)
you can practically hear a lid popping off,  like he’s a kettle that’s over boiled
he can’t even say anything, all he can do is stand there attempting to hide his face with his hands
and then he gets even more flustered when you lean in real close and start whispering to him to try to coax him to let you see his face
you wanna know how you can surprise him enough to get him to lower his hand? see that gold metal-ribbon thing keeping his cloak fastened? give it a tug. that’s it, just a nice firm yank
would you look at that! i don’t think i’ve seen that many shades of NEON PINK in my life before!!
(this is absolutely a call out, WHY is simeon’s in-game blush PINK???? they did a darker red for mammon, so why didn’t our angel lad get the same treatment?????)
when he sees simeon kabedonning you—
the first time he saw this happen luke genuinely thought simeon was attacking you
he walked into the living room just as simeon backed you up against the sofa and just screamed
simeon didn’t even have the grace to pull away, he just looked up at and waved hello like what he was doing was perfectly normal
i mean, it kind of is, but luke doesn’t know that - all he knows is that he’s pinning you to the sofa, what the fuck simeon
“what are you doing?! simeon! let go!!!”
he actually hurries in and attempts to wrench simeon off you himself, and the older angel just lets him since 1. he thinks it’s cute how protective he’s being, and 2. he’s too busy laughing to resist
luke somehow doesn’t notice simeon absolutely losing it and immediately checks on you like a worried mum
you’re very close to bursting into laughter yourself, but you collect yourself once you realise how genuinely concerned luke looks
you reassure him that you’re fine, but he doesn’t relent immediately - he starts patting down your arms and asking if it hurts anywhere
then simeon starts getting up and starts to say something, and luke immediately throws an arm out in front of you
“stay back! i— i won’t let you do anything! even if it’s you, simeon!”
that’s it simeon’s on the floor again
he just thinks it’s so funny that luke’s reacting like this to a kabedon
you also think it’s pretty amusing but it’s also very heartwarming to know that luke would be willing to fight one of his own if he needed to protect you
in the end you both explain what was going on to luke (well, you did most of the explaining, simeon was still too giggly to speak coherently)
he doesn’t really get it, but he does now understand that seeing a kabedon in action probably means that something Romantic is about to happen and he does not want to see that
nowadays when he walks into a room and sees simeon kabedonning you he just immediately walks out again
when he sees lucifer kabedonning you—
imagine you’re luke in this situation. you've just gotten back an essay with top marks, and you’re looking for your favourite parental/sibling figure to show them and also thank them for helping you write the esay
so you ask your other favourite parental/sibling figure, and he says that he saw them in the library earlier
so off you go to the library, full of youthful joy! but what do you see when you open the door to the library? lucifer himself, the avatar of pride and diavolo’s right hand man, has your favourite parental/sibling figure cornered against the wall!
luke doesn’t even register that lucifer is actually the flustered one here (read back to his part if you’ve already forgotten), he just sees a big demon trapping you and gets immeasurably angry
he immediately takes up a battle stance, one hand pointing at lucifer and the other one clenched in front of his chest and beginning to crackle with angelic magic
“let them go right now!”
lucifer kind of freezes, while you peek around at luke from under his arm, a little concerned
this is one heck of an overreaction, not to mention that this situation could have been very dangerous for luke if lucifer was genuinely attacking you somehow
but luke doesn’t care that his magic probably wouldn’t even give lucifer a cut or that lucifer could squish him like a bug if he really wanted to, he just wants to protect you
it’s so sweet but also unnecessary in this situation becuase lucifer wasn’t attacking you - quite the contrary, actually
lucifer is refusing to look at luke because he’s still blushing and he doesn’t want him to see, so you just quickly reach up and pat his shoulder or something, maybe give him a little kiss on the cheek, then quickly go to calm luke down and clear the situation up
and once he’s recovered from the surprise of the situation (and gotten rid of the blush), lucifer will also come up to join the explanation
luke kind of bristles a bit at him and while lucifer might have been offended by the whole thing on any other occasion, he’s in a good mood today, so he just thinks it’s rather funny
for some reason, no matter how much he tries to avoid it, solomon always breaks something whenever he kabedons you
it’s like there’s a kabedon-god watching from up in the heavens, and they’re personally giving him the middle finger
and, speaking of fingers...
one day solomon’s experimenting with some ‘creative’ magical devices, among which is a ring that’s meant to cause a very small explosion if the stone in it is pushed down
he puts it on to make sure there aren’t any malfunctions or whatever, and at that moment you walk into the room with a hot drink for him
you have this kind of effect on solomon where, every now and then, he’ll look at you and get so overwhelmed that he practically forgets his own name
it’s like your very presence is enamouring enough that it dims everything around you in comparison, and solomon is a moth to your flame
you put the mug down on the table and give him an encouraging little kiss on the cheek, then begin to walk out
and solomon, forgetting that this always ends in disaster, decides to kabedon you before you can leave
and what else has he forgotten? that’s right! the explosive ring!
it’s a little bit too big for him, so it’s spun around on his finger, meaning that the stone is on his palm side when he slams his hand onto the wall, and you can probably see where this is going
solomon accidentally activates the explosion mechanism, realises just in time to wrench the ring-wearing hand away and cast a shielding spell over you with his free hand, then BANG
rip solomon’s left hand
the explosion enchantment on the ring wasn’t very strong, so the damage really isn’t that bad - his skin’s just a bit burnt, mostly - but the finger that the ring was on got the full brunt and recoil of the explosion, which unfortunately means that it’s now broken
the kabedon curse continues to ruin everything...
solomon can easily fix himself up with a spell, but instead he chooses to be as dramatic as possible about it so that you’ll fuss over him >:)
the kabedon god must really hate solomon because the curse carries over to when you try to do it to him as well
you don’t break things, though, no no no, that’d be too easy
instead, every time you kabedon solomon… he has a nose bleed
ok so this may not be so much the kabedon as it is solomon himself, but EVEN SO! i that trope has been scientifically disproven! people don’t actually get nosebleeds when they’re flustered, so obviously this is the curse’s doing
at one point you suspect that he might somehow be doing it on purpose just to fuck with you, but solomon is adamant that he can’t control this
i mean, come on! why would he want to interrupt a kabedon, a prime opportunity for some affection?? it’s just illogical
solomon himself HATES this, but he just can’t do anything about it
at this point he’s genuinely upset that these things happening and just wants ONE kabedon to go successfully
it doesn’t help that levi’s recently been pestering him to watch this romance anime with a very prominent kabedon scene and it just… ugh why can’t HIS kabedons go like that
he wants that quiet kind of charged romantic moment!! he wants that flustered laughter!!! he wants that kiss!!!
but NO, kabedon god just keeps shooting him in the foot
one time another couple was in the library with you two and just as one of them kabedonned the other, the one being kabedonned announced that they were breaking up with them
you and solomon had a bit of a crisis after that - like, is the curse so bad that it’s affecting other people around you as well???
at this point you and solomon should probably just stay away from all kabedon-related things in general
but you know what? that’s fine
you don’t need kabedons to get kisses, and solomon sure as hell isn’t going to stop wanting/giving those
take that, kabedon god! we don’t want your stupid cliche moment anyway!
but if either of you are watching anything and a kabedon scene comes up, you’re both immediately either turning off the device or just leaving the room entirely
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devildom-grimoire · 18 hours ago
eep- so, you're doing match-ups and all, and i was wondering if i could be matched with someone? hehe-
so basically, my whole personality is chaos i guess. I'm extroverted, and maybe a bit too much. like, if i absolutely hate the person, sometimes i forget that im mad at them and just talk to them, resulting to an "oh shit" moment a few minutes later HAHAHA
I'm also really loud, clingy, and slow sometimes- like getting a joke probably? sometimes it would take me a few minutes to get it then laugh and have a very late response lmao
I'm also the type of person to do something that might kill me without thinking it through such as running through traffic, or maybe climbing something that I shouldn't climb, and barely surviving at the end.
I'd like to think that I'm pretty tough, but a bunch of people say I'm quite innocent and not really to be feared of, however i could throw hands whenever i wanted to.
also, im pretty impulsive and i could easily get angry so thats not a good thing-
i enjoy art, singing (a bit), writing (i actually barely do that lately, but still), reading, watching movies, and more. i also watch some animes, but not really that much. same with gaming. i do it sparingly i guess.
so uh- i guess that's it- :')
Hi, and you sound like a blast! Let’s see who our lucky lad is! *gets a net gun and fires it*
Barbatos is going to have to deal with all the chaos you two get into; the two of you are just having fun causing havoc, meanwhile Barbatos might be getting a few grey hairs from the current chaos, and all the possible ones that he can see. Someone, please get him a raise. Now to the Dia content.
He will run through traffic with you, and climbing up things as well; he will get stuck up there though, fair warning. But when you’re both doing stuff like that, he’ll make sure that you’re staying safe and don’t end up getting hurt.
Dia will try and make you some art, or join with you when you’re creating something. What media do you mainly use? Count on him trying to cover you in it; doesn’t matter if it’s paint, glue, clay, or glitter.
He would love to hear you sing. He’ll either rock out if it’s something more energetic or loud or he sings along if it’s something softer. 
If you’re about to go into anger mode, Dia will just pick you up and walk away; yes, he knows you can handle yourself, but he doesn’t need you getting on that certain diplomat’s bad side either.
I hope you enjoy!
If you would like to support me move out here’s the post explaining that and my Ko-fi!
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devildom-grimoire · 19 hours ago
Hello! I don't know if you are still writing these, but if a match up is possible, could I get one?
My name's Haven, I'm agender, I use any pronouns, I'm a triple scorpio (Sun, Moon and rising, yikes I know)
I like to draw and read, but I really really like to sing even if I'm terrible at it. I can be a bit of a dumbass though, pfftt.
Anyways, love you have a great day!
Hi, Haven, and I hope you have a great day! And yes, you can get a matchup! Let me see…
You guys can often be seen in either his room or the library reading; maybe having a discussion about the current story the two of you are reading.
He has a collection of drawing practices books, and he would ask you if you would like to borrow them to study different poses, art mediums, or if you wanted to dabble in a new style. He would draw alongside you as well.
The heavy Scorpio placements can make you seem intimidating, but he’s Satan, the Avatar of Wrath, so he’s not easily intimidated; the absolute power the two of you hold is… concerning.
When you start singing, he’ll smile and chuckle at seeing you enjoy yourself; he doesn’t care if you’re “terrible” as you’re just enjoying yourself and having fun.
He would try to get you to join his pranking attempts on Lucifer, so the dumbassery is encouraged, he will, of course, make sure that you are kept safe from the eldest’s fury.
Liked this? Consider helping me move out! Here’s a link to a post about that and my Ko-fi!
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diabelosa · 19 hours ago
MC: Here, I have a gift for you!
Satan: You're giving me a sticker?
MC: Not just any sticker... a sticker of a cat saying me-wow
Satan: I'm not a child you know
MC: Fine I'll take it back.
Satan: No! I earned this - back off!!
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My Random Headcannons
Brothers Masterlist | Datables Masterlist
👑 Diavolo -
For being the next ruler of Devildom, he really loves being childish every now and then by making his friends play hide and seek and other kid games.
I don't know why, but I feel like he trusts MC as much as he trusts Lucifer.
He can dance formally very well (waltz), but is a terrible dancer otherwise.
🛎 Barbatos -
He thought having a bell system to summon him was a good idea, but then Diavolo just kept ringing the bell to have Barbatos around.
Goes to the human world to purchase food for MC because there isn't much they can stomach in the Devildom.
Loves gardening at the castle. He enjoys tending to the flowers and taking care of them.
😇 Simeon -
Even though he doesn't flaunt it, he knows how to make a few dishes from all three realms.
He loves taking care of people and will always offer to take care of someone when they are sick.
Wants to travel through the human world with MC as his guide.
🐕 Luke -
Thinks of MC like a sibling, and a baby angel he needs to protect.
Super ticklish, like everywhere. Everyone takes advantage of this.
Even though he wants to make sweets for Micheal, he likes a lot of savory food. He just wants to make his superior happy.
🔮 Solomon -
Has found the fountain of youth, but says that it is just magic/taking care of himself. Will never tell the location.
He has been to Devildom before the program just to meet some of the demons he hold pacts with.
Will use MC as a test subject for new potions at anytime.
Part 1 with the Brothers can be found Here!
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Thank you all for 100 followers!
I really did not expect to get to this many followers when I started this. Especially so quickly! I thought I would be talking into the ether for eternity. I really am so thankful and grateful for everyone who even likes my content.
To celebrate I wrote out some random headcannons I had for all the Obey Me characters this is Part 1 with the Brothers!
You can find Part 2 with the Datables Here!
I hope you all enjoy!
My Random Headcannons
Brothers Masterlist | Datables Masterlist
💙 Lucifer -
Definitely knows everything about MC from their file. Their residence, blood type, past boyfriends, parents names, etc.
Enjoys drinking human liquors (bourbon, whiskey) because he thinks they taste better.
He acts like he doesn't, but always goes out of his way to take care of his brothers when they are sick. He won't spoon feed them or anything, but if a bowl of soup magical appears in their room with medicine, it definitely wasn't him.
💛 Mammon -
He is a secret nerd. So when he steals stuff from Levi, he doesn't sell it. He keeps it in his own personal stash/collection.
Was taken off cooking duty because all he knows how to make is ramen and that's all he makes. (Now he cleans dishes twice a week)
Will take clothing items from his shoots because he likes them and wants to keep them or for his Brothers and MC because he thinks they will like them.
🧡 Leviathan -
Has an entire RGB LED computer set up. One of the setting is Ruri-chan where it shows her face on his cooling system and plays her music.
Made MC their own little PC set up with their favorite character and their own matching gaming chair.
His Ruri-chan body pillow stays in his bed tub al the time. Even if him and MC are squished in there, she stays.
💚 Satan -
Hides things in his room and in the library knowing damn well that Lucifer doesn't want to touch his mess of books (that's how he gets cats into House of Lamentations)
Has a pair of cat ears that Levi bought for him at a convention. They are hidden in his room.
Will leave his jacket out near MC, just to see if MC will take it and wear it.
💖 Asmodeus -
Asmo definitely has a hidden room in the back of his closet or something for all his *ahem* adult toys.
He has a list of scents that MC has said they liked (this includes general scents like lavender, rose, etc, and specific perfumes and colognes they like) and keeps all those products in a special place in case MC wants to use his self care products or he needs to smell good for them.
Asmo loves to wear heels and be taller, but he is not allowed to do it in the House of Lamentations (and walk around like in the hallways or at dinner) because he stepped on all the Brothers' feet too much.
❤ Beelzebub -
He sleep eats. All those times where food disappears at night, is Beel sleep eating.
Beel uses different exercises to "workout" His intense emotions. Happy? Going for a run. Sad? Doing push ups. Angry? Time to bench.
He doesn't like to eat in his bed. He doesn't want crumbs all over it.
💜 Belphegor -
Can control if he talks during his sleep.
Likes to go into his brother's dreams to see what they are thinking. Sometimes it is to see if they are okay (Beel) others it is to mess with (Lucifer). Also did this in captivity.
His favorite part of the day is having a meal with Beel and MC.
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