#with buckys pov for crying out loud

[adrinktostopyourthirst]

Bucky Barnes | Rebellion Series | Caution

Part one of the Rebellion Series

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Plot: By some miracle, you get saved from the consequences of your own actions. You’re reluctant to join a supposedly good cause. What happens when the good cause is not so legal? And what - or who - is your soft spot?

Warnings: Angst, fluff (?) and mentions of sex.

Words: 34OO

You have started shaking again. With every tremble of your body, the restraints around your legs and arms seem to tighten and you shudder even more at the awful memory of that feeling. It took weeks for the shaking to stop. Weeks of being locked up into this modern dungeon until you were nothing but silence and numbness.

You knew the rebellion could end in death, knew the consequences would be catastrophic, but at least you’d stood for something, fought for something. And you would choose death any day over the endless silence of this prison. You know for a fact that you’re surrounded by an ocean, but no matter how hard you listen, you cannot hear the wild sea crash. Can only hear the low hum of the air being circulated through your metal cell.

And today, approximately three months after the start of your sentence in the most secured prison on the planet, you have started shaking again. It can hardly be because today of all days, your brain has decided to make you go completely insane. That would be too random. Which means–

Your head snaps to the window, spotting the other cells. Empty. This floor is reserved just for you alone. Because apparently you’re too dangerous to interact with anyone. They even got machines bringing you your daily sustenance. An empty floor like every other day, yet something seems different. Something’s off.

A metal door flies through the middle of the circular space connecting all of the cells and you stiffen. You look at the ground again, keeping completely still. Maybe they don’t know that you’re here. Oh God, oh God, oh God. No, they can’t get to you. Not again.

The destruction clangs through your body and you tremble violently, curling up as much as you can and staring hard at the floor. The cold metal ground blurs with images of the rebellion. The things you gave up, the energy your summoned and wasted, the people you lost. The blood, and pain, and screams and– and– and…

“She’s in there. Grab her and then we get out of here.”

“Steve, I–”

“And hurry up, we don’t have much time!”

Two combat boots step into your vision and the stomps echo in your head, booming you back to reality. But not quite. Your eyes vibrate with fear and you swallow the nails in your throat. Then a pair of knees appear in front of you and a black gloved hand reaches forward. It hesitates, then retreats. As if choosing not to touch you. Wise choice.

“Hey.” The voice is low. And smooth as liquor.

But you don’t look up, focusing on trying not to tremble more and taking the firm contraptions wrapped around your shins and forearms as the protection they now are. Maybe this is another nightmare. It’s different from the ones you usually have, but black gloves… They had black gloves, too. And those firm boots. They may have kicked you in the stomach with those boots once. You don’t remember.

“I’m here to get you out,” the voice speaks again and you can only listen to the tone of voice, the way it sends a shockwave through your body and lessens the violent trembles. “Look up for me.”

You ignore him and focus on your breathing.

“Is she coming?” That first voice. Impatient. Panting.

The male before you turns to the centre of the floor and gives a frustrated sigh, “She’s pretty out of it.”

Before waiting for the other man to respond, he turns back to you and studies you. Even though you don’t see him, his stare burns right through the flimsy clothes they put on you. He lets out a soft sigh and flips out a knife from the holster at his waist, still kneeling before you. You stiffen, preparing yourself for the sting at your throat as they finally decide to get rid of you, but he tries his best not to touch any bare skin as he saws through the materials binding you together.

The relief of pressure from your skin make you feel so uneasy, you nearly throw up, but a gentle hand covers your arm and you finally look up. Warm, dark blue eyes connect with yours. Below heavy brows and above the faintest cluster of freckles. His mouth is soft and pillowy and his bone structure is otherworldly symmetrical.

“It’s okay,” he tells you gently and offers you a smile that you can tell doesn’t come to him naturally. “Can you walk?”

He pulls you to a stand with a firm, but comfortable grip and you instantly stumble on your feet at the weight suddenly put on them. One arm flies around your waist and hoists you into his side as he catches your fall.

“Okay, okay,” he grunts with a gentle laugh. “I got you. Let’s get the fuck out of here, alright?”

Your throat feels like sandpaper as you hobble along with the wall of a male dragging you along, “Who are you?”

He spares you a brief glance and smiles once more, following ‘Steve’ out of the building and onto an air craft that is way too loud. “Bucky. We’re here to help you. Or I suppose you’re here to help us, little rebel.”

…

Steve gives Bucky a knowing glare, only breaking it by daring a glance at your bedroom door which you have been effectively hiding behind for weeks now. “You know I can’t go in there, Bucky.”

“You know I won’t let you,” Bucky answers drily with a shrug. As opposed to his best friend, Bucky hasn’t stopped staring at your door.

“You’re not even hiding your possessiveness when it comes to her,” Steve breathes through a laugh. That makes Bucky finally look at his friend.

“I’m not possessive,” he says matter-of-factly. He’s not even offended, just practical. “I’m protective. The last thing she needs is all of the nosy people in this tower swirling around her when she doesn’t trust a single soul.”

“Has she started to trust you?”

Bucky has to keep from wincing at Steve’s question, and he clears his throat. “Sure,” he lies.

If Steve caught the lie, he didn’t let on. It was as much of a dismissal as he was going to get. After watching his best friend walk off to do captain things, Bucky braces himself to step into your room. He has no hope that his interaction with you will be any different than the previous ones.

“Another day of convincing me to be your weapon?” you nearly snarl when he walks into your room.

If Bucky is entirely honest, he thought you would have turned into this damaged girl that would morph into a wild animal as you worked through what had been done to you. He didn’t really expect this perseverance and defiance from the woman he saved from that prison. But he supposes he should have seen that question coming. It wasn’t his best work; starting that day he saved you with all of the things you could be doing for them. Why they had saved you. Simply for their own gain. Or that is how you understood it, at least…

He has never been good with words. That has always been Steve’s thing. Bucky was reliable physically and he paid attention. He never had to use many words to make his point. Yet you keep asking these questions – rhetorical, he thinks – and you keep giving him this penetrating stare until he answers. Which is a sure way to make him fuck up, because how do people do that? Bring sensible thoughts into words and make it make sense?

Especially when the woman asking said questions is so damned… pretty.

“It’s time for you to get out of this room,” he tells you plainly. It seems the tactic of ignoring your questions is effective. It only took him six days to figure that one out.

He strides over to cross the room, not sparing you another glance in your chair in the corner, and rips open the curtains. The cat-like hiss coming from you has Bucky nearly biting back a smile. He turns and watches you stand from your chair, stalking over to him with your chin high and a scowl on your face. He raises an eyebrow with amused intrigue.

“And what, exactly, will I be doing outside of my room?” you ask.

He dips down slightly, but you keep the proximity. “Whatever you want. I don’t care.”

“If you don’t care, why hunt me out of my room?”

He shrugs, “Captain’s orders.” He isn’t entirely lying.

“Why isn’t the captain telling me himself?”

Bucky smirks and leans even closer, making you feel his minty breath fan over your face. “Because I’m the only one who isn’t scared of you.”

You snort at that and roll your eyes before breaking away from him. “I’ll get dressed.”

Bucky tries his hardest not to look too stunned as you retreat into the bathroom. A deep sigh leaves his lips as he paces through your room in wait for you to get ready. It takes a whole lot of effort to muster a smirk when it comes to his interactions with you.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” he asks quietly.

Just as quietly, the house responds, “Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“Has she asked for anything from you? To contact friends or family, or other information?”

“No, she hasn’t.”

“Does she have anyone left?” he tries, chewing his lip as he dreads the answer.

“Not that we’re aware. Mr. Stark had me run a background check, but she seems alone. No sign of anyone missing or deceased. No sign of a network at all.”

Bucky doesn’t know why that feels worse in his chest and he swallows. “Alright, thank you.”

A few moments later, you step out of the shower and find Bucky lounging in the chair he found you in, leafing through one of your books. Just as you’re about to check whether he has gotten his hands on one of your smuttier books, your eyes snag on the clothes laid out for you on the bed.

You pause long enough to make Bucky look up from the book. “Did you… Did you seriously pick out this underwear for me?”

Bucky eyes the lace panties dangling from your fingers and shrugs with a smirk. A smirk had never looked so enticing, but you sharpen your stare on him. “Do you prefer the grey, cotton ones in the back of the closet?”

You grit your teeth and scowl at him again, before morphing your mouth into a vindictive smile. “Why? Don’t you?”

His eyes dance at that. “Wouldn’t make a difference to me.”

And it’s the way he said it, with so much casual amusement and… promise. Heat rises to your face and you duck your head down. Snatching the clothes from the bed, you retreat back into the bathroom to get dressed.

…

The rest of your conversations had been purely functional as Bucky lead you down into the building where Steve was waiting. Bucky rolled his eyes at his friend’s horrible attempt at hiding his surprise. Steve hadn’t seen you since the day they came to save you, he must have never expected Bucky to be successful in his retrieval.

Bucky also hadn’t missed the meaningful look Steve then gave him that indicated he tucked away some valuable information. The information being that if they ever needed to get you to do something, Bucky is the way to get you to do it. Why? Steve seemed to have his theories and Bucky didn’t like it one bit.

However, for now he doesn’t care. Instead, he sticks by you after you reluctantly agreed to join Steve on a walk.

Strolling down the path through the surrounding woods, Bucky catches himself bracing for a fight every time Steve gets a little too close to you. He doesn’t like it. The last time he was this sensitive to proximity, he had just ran from Hydra. He’s seen other traumatised people before, but this feels different. And instead of listening to your and Steve’s conversation, he tries to figure out what it is. He supposes it’s because you have no survival instinct. In the few videos he’s seen of your rebellion and the encounters he has had with you the past weeks, you see danger or conflict and run straight toward it. Nothing scared or cautious about you. It sets his nerves on edge.

Bucky is well aware of what Steve is telling you and he has to refrain from rolling his eyes at the careful way Steve tries to coax you into their plan, when earlier that week they had not been nearly as careful as they calculated how to get you involved. But even Bucky had to admit that they needed you – specifically, everyone who would follow you into the grave. When Stark had shown him the videos, he was perplexed as to how you got such a huge following when what you fought for was so terribly dangerous. But one look at those sharp eyes and one deep command from you, and Bucky had seen it. That unwavering will and that brilliant brain that was always calculating. Steve could learn a few tricks from you on being a strong leader. And considering Bucky wildly admires his old friend, that is saying something.

They need you. Bucky knows it, too. They need not just someone with great leadership skills and a loyal following, but someone that does it out of empathy for the people mistreated by the system. Because that is who they’re going to be fighting – the system.

Again.

…

“You haven’t said anything about what Steve told you,” Bucky says on your walk back to your room. The offer to escort you back to your room hadn’t been entirely selfless.

“I need to think about it,” you murmur, deep in thought.

Bucky suppresses his sigh of sympathy. They are asking you to join a cause you were so passionate about, and that after failing so miserably last time. He can barely imagine the things you must have witnessed and endured with your last upraise. How you had gotten so influential that the government decided to treat you like you were a super-human and punished you accordingly. You had been put in the same prison as Wanda. Wanda. That is how powerful you were.

“It can’t be easy to revisit everything after all that’s happened,” he resigns and you blink from your thoughts to raise your eyes to his face. You study him and it takes all of Bucky’s might not to shift under your assessing gaze.

Then you speak up, “I’ve always done the right thing. Steve knows I can’t walk away from it…”

Bucky smiles at that. “Just like him.”

Your eyes narrow at that comment, but Bucky finds no venom in the look. You continue, “Sacrificing my life for the cause was never an issue. But to lead others into that same fate again?” The guilt had eaten you alive. All those people that had gotten arrested, split up from loved ones, hurt– worse…

Bucky interrupts your thoughts before they get a hold on you by clearing his throat. “Tonight, we have dinner with everyone. You’re welcome to join if you’d like.” Your heavy stare on him makes him quickly add, “Don’t give me that look. There will be no talk of overthrowing the government. Just dress fancy.”

The snort of a laugh that comes from you feels lighter to Bucky than he’d like to admit. And to ease the tension, he forces another smirk to his face. You narrow your eyes again warily, “What.”

He shrugs, turning to leave you alone at your door. Then he winks. “Let me know if you need me to pick out some underwear for you.” And then he’s gone.

Bucky hangs onto that cockiness all the way until dinner, where the entire group has showed up. Even Thor said he’d show up for a drink. Barton flew in from his family home to join the group as well. He remembers a time when he’d felt more than uncomfortable around this group of people. But so much has changed. They all saw him as a great asset to the team and even relied on him more and more to supervise the missions. He’s at home with them now. Heart swelling with affection, he listens to his friends – his family – laugh in the kitchen while they pour the drinks.

And then all of their faces turn into one direction, some of them pulling taut, few of them giving warm, comforting smiles. Bucky follows their gaze and it is like someone punched him in the gut, air whooshing out of his body. He doesn’t really know why – other than the obvious fact that you look ravishing of course. But he looks at you and clears his throat to welcome you to the group.

Natasha beats him to it though and it has Bucky’s hackles rising. She shoots him a knowing smile and then he backs off. His pride wounded like a cat booped on the nose. Natasha is good at it, charming people until they feel comfortable. Or take their pants off. But there’s an easy smile on your face – one Bucky knows is at least slightly forced – and you blend in with the crowd easily.

Suddenly, Sam’s at his side. “I know what you’re thinking,” he grumbles with his eyes on you and Natasha, followed by a swig of his beer bottle. “Those two together can only mean trouble.”

Bucky can only grunt in agreement.

…

“What on Earth are you talking about?” Natasha drawls with a guilty smile.

Barton shakes his head. “The poor schmuck didn’t stand a chance. There is no way you could have taken him if you hadn’t slept with him the night before.”

Natasha shrugs. “Look, a girl has her needs. He met them and the next day he met his fate.”

“Really, Nat?” Steve nearly cringes and Bucky reins in his laugh. “The guy’s moral compass was straight from hell and you decided to sleep with him?”

Natasha barely manages to open her mouth before you decide to pitch in, raising a glass to her. “I get it. Terrible morals do add a little spice in the bedroom.”

Nat clinks her glass with yours and mutters a ‘she gets it’, but Bucky’s eyes are searing through your skin. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised at such outrageous claims coming out of your mouth. There is nothing innocent about you. Good, yes. Innocent? No. Yet perhaps it isn’t ‘surprise’ that is warming his body from the inside out.

Conversation flows easily between the Avengers and the food Tony had made easily beats the Brooklyn comfort food Bucky usually seeks out. Cheeks turn rosy from the drinks, voices get louder, lights get dimmer. Bucky has to really look to be sure what he’s seeing. You, relaxed and happy. Such a stark contrast to the woman he found in the prison. No wonder you’re so good with people. People make you good.

He can barely manage his smirk however, when he notices the strain in your body to keep from looking at him. Why you are so adamant to avoid him, he can’t really tell. But this is now your weak spot, so he cannot help but tuck the info away for later.

The night carries on and everyone switches places, catching up on endless memories and adventures and being surprisingly considerate to include you in most conversations. Bucky ends up at the head of the table, you on the seat closest to him, both listening to Sam. You listen closely and Bucky can only assume you have some relief from being actively distracted from him. And being the arrogant bastard he knows he can be, he ‘accidentally’ brushes a knuckle over the back of your hand that’s resting on the table. He watches you stiffen and swallow, but like a true rebel, you show no other sign that it affected you.

A few more stunts like that had Bucky pressing his knee to your thigh under the table and it takes everything not to pull away from it. So you gaslight yourself to let the touch ground you. To absorb his warmth and relax even more into the touch. And if you guess it correctly, the way you respond to Bucky’s touch is not what he expected… So you find yourself having the upper hand again.

And if you’re going to join these people in their cause, what’s a little game with your menace of a saviour?

#oh my fucking god #im doing it #im posting a slow burn #with buckys pov for crying out loud #i am terribly sorry for being gone for so goddamn long im a busy woman #BUT quality over quantity amirite? #enjoy my lovelies and please let me know what you think #feedback does genuinely make me post quicker (i cant help it) #rebellion series #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #writing #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes oneshot #series

[rxmqnova]

The very grumpy yn, more than bucky, is in a relationship with Wanda, but normally she doesn't like to show the love she felt for Wanda, she is in love, she is her person but been in hydra for so long, even after she wasn't there anymore, she was free like five years ago but still feeling that way.

So the avengers had a party, and even if she tolerate the alcohol like Nat or Yelena, she decided to try the asgardian licour, it was only a shot but she was very drunk, even she didn't recognize her girlfriend when she went to find her on the balcony.

She thought it was someone trying to hit on her so she told them she has a girlfriend, so Wanda started to ask about her and Yn become a little sappy about it, it's not like she hasn't heard anything like that from her before but the way she was talking, she got a bit emotional, she said like a small speech and when she finished she said that sometimes she just wanted to say those things to Wanda, she felt she deserved it and she started to cry a bit and saying sorry to the person who was next to her, Wanda.

Confession

NO ONE'S POV "Why do we have to go there? He's throwing up a party nearly every weekend. Can't we just skip today?" Y/N sighs, flopping on hers and Wanda's shared bed.

Wanda shakes her head with a smile, sitting down next to her girlfriend. The witch would normally think about staying in with her girlfriend, but it's Tony's Christmas party tonight.

"We skipped last time, Y/N/N. It's Tony's famous Christmas party tonight, we can't miss it" Wanda says only to receive a groan from her girlfriend. "Oh, come on" She nudges Y/N's shoulder playfully on which Y/N rolls her eyes, making Wanda let out a chuckle as she stands up and goes to get ready.

Y/N joins her girlfriend in a few seconds, earning a smile from Wanda and a kiss on the cheek which makes Y/N blush and that doesn't go without a notice from Wanda, though she doesn't comment it.

When the pair's ready to go, the girls get on the way to the Stark tower where Tony's party taking place. Holding hands they walk in, immediately getting greeted by loud music and so many people.

"Look who showed up, the Grinch herself" Tony teases, walking to the girls when he sees them, making Y/N roll her eyes.

"It's not funny anymore, Stark" Y/N shakes her head, sending a glare to the man in front of her.

"Let's have a drink" Wanda decides, dragging her girlfriend to the bar immediately before her and Tony start arguing. She knows Y/N doesn't drink, but that doesn't mean she can't get a juice or something at least.

As usually, Y/N orders juice, sipping the drink alone as Wanda disappeared to the restroom.

"Hey, there" Sam appears out of nowhere, making Y/N sigh and roll her eyes.

"What do you want, Wilson?"

"Oh, come on. It's Christmas! Let's have some fun. Look what I have here" Sam smirks, showing Y/N a shot of asguardian liquor he got from Thor. "I brought it just for you" He smirks once again.

"You know what? Fine. It's boring here anyway" Y/N sighs, taking the shot from Sam and immediately feeling way better. It surely works fast.

But suddenly Y/N remembers her girlfriend is missing and decides to go and find her.

So after wandering around for a while and bumping into unknown people, the girl ends up on the balcony, collapsing on the couch Tony has there.

"Hey, there" Wanda smiles, taking a seat next to her girlfriend as she only just said goodbye to her friend who's she been talking with here on the balcony. "Everything okay, baby?"

"I'm looking for Wanda. Have you seen her?" Y/N asks, staring at the girl next to her.

"I'm Wanda. I'm right here. Are you okay, honey?" Wanda furrows her brows in confusion, looking at Y/N who just stares at her blankly.

"No, no, no. I mean my Wanda. She's my girlfriend, so don't even try!" Y/N warns, lifting her index finger as a warning. "Can you help me find her?" She asks, a quiet whine escaping her lips.

"Of course, tell me about her" Wanda chuckles, wondering where will this go.

"… My Wanda is the most beautiful girl on the entire world… She has brown hair and the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen" Y/N says, smiling at the thought of her girlfriend. "Have you seen her?" "Hmm, I don't know. What is she like?" Wanda asks, finding this actually really sweet and rather amusing.

"She's just awesome" Y/N lets out a sigh. "She's the most amazing person ever. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her" She sighs once again, looking down on the ground and playing with the rings on her fingers.

"How so, Y/N/N? I'm sure you're the best one for her" Wanda smiles, placing her hand on her girlfriend's back and rubbing it to comfort her, only to receive a shake of a head in disagreement.

"It's just… I did so many horrible things. I don't deserve to be happy, you know?" Y/N sighs, her eyes filling with tears on the thought of all those things she's been doing with hydra.

The Avengers rescued her from one hydra base for about 5 years ago, though Y/N just can't help but blame herself for everything she's done with hydra, even though she was made to do all those things.

"Wanda's the sweetest and I love her so damn much, but sometimes I can't even tell her that, because I feel like I don't deserve her" Y/N continues.

"Don't say that. You deserve to be happy, Y/N. Yo-"

"Hm-hm" Y/N shakes her head, tears quietly running down her cheeks. "I just wish I could tell her how much I enjoy our movie nights. I still don't know what Wanda loves about those sitcoms so much, but her cuddles are worth watching it" The girl admits, making Wanda let out a small chuckle.

"Or the way her nose scrunches every time she smiles. I love that nose scrunch so damn much" Y/N continues, bringing a smile to Wanda's face. "And the sweet little notes she always leaves for me. I don't think she knows, but I have them all hidden in my nightstand. There's so much more I'd like to tell her, but I can't… Something inside of me is just stopping me" Y/N confesses, a sigh leaving her lips as tears are still running down her face.

Wanda sighs, trying to stop the tears that started filling her eyes. The fact that Y/N hides every single note she leaves her just got her.

"I don't normally do this. I'm sorry you had to listen to this and watch me cry" Y/N wipes her tears, feeling a bit embarrassed for telling all of this to a complete stranger.

"Hey, don't apologise for your feelings. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you and I'm sure she knows how much you love her even though you find it hard telling her" Wanda gives her girlfriend a smile, receiving a small smile back.

Surely Wanda's had a few doubts when Y/N's not been able to show much emotions over the time they've been dating. But after tonight she knows Y/N loves her the exact same way like she loves Y/N and now she knows for sure she wants to spend the rest of her life with the girl next to her.

---------------------

I wanted to post this one for Christmas, but I've been very busy lately and only just finished it😅

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

#wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #fanfiction #wanda maximoff fanfiction

[fluffysucker]

Say Something.

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Mob Au)

'You are the one that I love, and I'm saying goodby'

It is written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

A/N: I was writing a request that was so fluffy but couldn't shake this from my head. I had to let it out. Let me know if you want part two. Also, if any of you wanted to in a taglist, you are so welcome. Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Mentions of physical abuse. Mention of miscarriage.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you tried to focus on the good things. Your hair was combed to perfection. Not a single strand of hair falling from its place. The hairpieces made the hairstyle ravishing. The simple makeup look you asked for was excellently done. Highlighting your best features with colours that work best with your skin tone. However, the best thing yet was the dress. It was your dream dress. It hugged your body like it was made specially for me, which it was. From the material, the shade of the white, to its exact length in centimetres, the dress was dazzling. And the look was beautifully finished with the white flowers you were holding.

You looked stunning. The most gorgeous you have ever been. However, you didn't feel like it. You wanted to get out of here. You wanted to disappear. You wanted to hide from everyone. It was becoming too real. There was no escape. Before the panic could take over and make you break down on the floor, the door to your room knocked. You turned to see your father enter the room.

On this day, they said fathers get emotional. They would tear up or cry. You would be able to see the undying love they have for their little girls as they grow up. But you could only see one thing in your father's eyes. Victory. He was about to have the biggest deal of his life finalised today, no matter what it cost. You wondered if the signs had always been there. That your rocky relationship with your father would lead to this. The lies you used to tell yourself that your father loved you were never true. That your happiness mattered nothing in the face of his interests. At least he had the decency to tell you that you looked beautiful.

You locked your hand between his arms as he led you outside, where everyone was waiting. You tried to ease your nerves and draw the biggest smile your face could handle. You stood in front of the door as it opened. There was no going back now.

You tried to focus on the music playing and the bright blue sky instead of the people staring at you. You wanted the aisle to be longer. You didn't want to reach the end. Because for you, it was the end of everything. Your wishes weren't granted. Your father came to a stop. He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he handed you to your future husband.

It took a lot from you to keep a smile on your face. Standing in front of your husband-to-be, holding your hands between his foreign hands. You were trying to convince yourself that the smile on his face was genuine and that maybe it wasn't just an accord with him. Maybe there was still hope. Which is why you avoided his eyes so you wouldn't be disappointed.

But you should have known better. You should have known that it was not his eyes that you should have avoided. It was the ocean blue eyes that never left you. But the moment you noticed him, you couldn't turn away. His eyes spoke loudly. So loud. Pain and defeat are coated with anger and rage.

You remember vividly your last conversation together. Your crying and begging for him to understand. His accusations of not loving him enough. But you did. You loved him enough. You loved him too much. Which is why you refused to let him stand in the face of your father. You couldn't let him risk his life. You couldn't let this kind of danger fall on him. And most certainly not because of you. Your father was neither understanding nor loving. So if you had to live miserable lives, he could live his life. That is a sacrifice you were willing to make. And just like that, your three-year relationship was down the drain.

You couldn't help but stare at the man who meant everything to you. who your heart beats for. The love of your life. He was sitting close, yet so far. It should have been him standing here. It should have been the happiest day of your life. But fate was never on your side. Starting with making you fall in love with your father's rival

You thought about the days you spent together behind closed doors so nobody would see you. The lazy morning in bed with you cuddled up in his arms The movie nights that would always end with heated makeout sessions. The secret dates under nobody's eyes. The stolen getaways so you can finally be free and act like the so deeply in love couple that you were. The happiest days of your life. Now they were memories you kept so close to your heart.

You collected yourself quickly before your act would fall as your fiancé squeezed your hand. You heard him say the two words, and you wanted to cry. You wanted to shout and scream. You wanted to throw a tantrum like a child. That was how desperate you were. But you never did. The officiate turned to you to ask you the same question. You wanted to have the courage to say no. Stand your ground. Tell the truth. Run away with the man who has ever truly loved you. But you couldn't. There was too much to lose.

With one last look at the man who would always have a hold on your heart, you kept the tears inside, and with a heavy breath, you turned to the officiate and said, "I do".

"And now, I announce you as husband and wife." Waves of clapping and cheers filled the decorated garden while dreed filled you.

And just like this, you went from being a Pierce to being a Rumlow. And you lost Bucky Barnes.

Twirling the straw between your manicured fingers, you were standing at the bar. Taking a break from all the chatting and loud laughter. You were delaying rejoining the others. The act has been getting harder lately. You were trying to stay a little bit longer in the peaceful corner of the venue. Until you heard his voice. Your thoughts stopped. Your heartbeat went faster. You knew he was in here. Your circle of acquaintances would usually cross. You would meet on these occasions. But you never talked or acknowledged each other. Stolen glances were all you had ever done.

You gave in to the urge and turned to look at him. You couldn't help the smile that formed on your lips. You hadn't been that close since before the wedding. He looked so good. The expensive black suit. The huge frame. The low bun. The well-trimmed beard. The strong perfume. You felt the tears gather in your eyes. You missed him terribly. Beyond what you ever thought.

Your staring must have caught his attention, and he turned his sight in your direction. He didn't expect to find you here. He knew you went off to hide somewhere for a little bit. He didn't know it would be at the bar. You always tried to steal some time away from these events. He often kept an eye on you whenever he knew you were an attendee. It was a force of habit. A habit he couldn't break despite how hard he tried.

After the wedding, he hoped that every time he met you again, he wouldn't feel his heart move from its place. But this time, it never came. Every time, he was taken back by your beauty and grace. Your captivating eyes and sweet smile. You were always the most beautiful.

And there you were, sitting close to him. Yet so out of reach. How he wished he could take you away and escape this world. The bartender placing his order in front of him broke you both out of your trace. You regained control of yourself, pulling the drink to your lips to take a sip. That's when he saw it. The reason for the distance between you. The reason for your downfall. The wedding ring with a big diamond ornamenting your finger

"Mrs. Rumlow." He cleared his throat before he spoke his bitter word.

The last name was never music to your ears. However, for him, it was like a hit in the gut.

"Mr. Barnes." You understood why he would choose to be so formal. To the world, you were rivals acting civilised. Nobody knew what you both meant to each other.

God, he missed your sweet-like-honey voice. It soothed him and put his mind at ease. Now, it was a harsh reminder of a harsher reality.

"Congratulations on the new deal. I heard it was very successful." Despite the bar being less crowded, you were still surrounded by people. You couldn't let them know the truth or even sense something. You had to act normal. Like you never knew him outside of this room.

"Thank you." The shortness and stiffness delivered the message. And you heard it loud and clear. Your attempts were unwelcome. So you decided to leave. Your time hiding away was running out anyway.

However, as you were getting up, you miscounted your steps, making your long dress tangle with the stall. You expected to fall down and make an embarrassment out of yourself, but the pain never came. You only felt a familiar, strong metal arm wrapping around your waist, catching you. This time, you were so close. You could feel his hot breath on your face. His eyes stare so deeply into your soul. His arm tightened around you. You almost gave up. You prayed your eyes weren't showing it all. But they were. It would explain the confused expression on his face. Your eyes were screaming at him. Sadness wrapped in pleas for help. A complex look. He should have let you go now, but he couldn't. He missed having you in his arms. He missed everything about you.

The call for your name brought you both back. He steadied you to your feet before ripping his arm away. You straightened your posture, regaining your composure after this accidental slip. An immediate smile was drawn on your face as you saw your husband approaching. He came to a stop next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Been looking for you, baby." Your husband spoke as he kissed your cheeks.

"I was getting us a drink." You didn't lie. Usually, you would bring him a drink so he wouldn't get suspicious of your absence.

"Always so considerate." He laid another kiss on the top of your head. Being overly affectionate in public was something you were used to from your husband.

"Ain't I the luckiest guy in the world, Barnes?" He turned to Bucky, who was still standing in front of you.

"Yes, of course." Despite his neutral tone, he meant it. Any man who had you had the biggest blessing. He envied this man with every fibre of his being.

Both men talked about work very briefly. It was a formality. An act to go with the night. It was very well known. Bucky Barnes and Brock Rumlow don't get along. Their mobs weren't on the same page. But for the sake of the bigger picture, both had to learn how to coexist. Temporarily, at least.

"This reminds me. Are you free next week?" The bizarre question caught Bucky off guard.

"I'm throwing a party for our second-year anniversary. Would love it if you could come." Brock pulled you closer to him as you laid your hand on his chest, your smile not breaking for a second.

"I want to celebrate the best day of my life." It's the irony of the world that Brock's best day is Bucky's worst. He still remembers the heart-wrenching feeling of watching you marry another man. The excruciating pain of losing you

He was about to turn down the invitation. But he remembered the look in your eyes. Sheer helplessness and hurt Even if it was for a split second. Even if you looked so happy now. He wasn't going to take his chances. He couldn't turn away from your call for help, even if you didn't voice it.

"I wouldn't miss it." And he didn't. And he never regretted something more.

The party was a blast. A beautiful celebration of love. You and Brock looked so happy. A perfect couple. He wanted his instincts to be right. But only came face-to-face with his worst fear. You were happy with another man. A man that wasn't him. And could never be him.

Between the gala and the party, Bucky tried to look around. See if he could find anything out. To get a glimpse of your life behind the lights. And he got nothing. Only good things. Maybe his longing for you made him misread the signs.

After the wonderful speech Brock gave about you and your marriage, Bucky couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. And most importantly, he had to let you go.

You barely met again after that day. He avoided even the galas that he would see you at. He needed to move on. He needed to forget you. He needed to let go of the girl who turned his whole being around. even though it was going to crush him. He had to.

He spent more time at work. More than he ever did. He started doing the dirty work again. Something he stopped doing for years. But he needed an outlet for the pain and rage. An escape from the brutal reality.

He knew how pathetic he was being. It's been two years, and he can't let you out of his mind. He tried to see other people. But it would only be physical. He couldn't find it in himself to be vulnerable or emotional with any other woman. Only you managed to tear his walls apart. Only you invaded his being. Sometimes he wishes he had never met you in the first place. The sweet girl sitting in a corner by herself in the over-the-top gala. He knew Alexander Pierce was your father. But he couldn't resist. You took his breath away the moment his eyes landed on you. And when he got to know you, you blew his mind away as well. You were nice, kind, polite, understanding, trusting, smart, and everything good. He had to have you. And he did. He fell head over heels for you. You gave meaning to his life. Bucky was madly and deeply in love with you. He still is.

And by some miracle, you loved him too. You let him have you. He remembers, after your first time together, As he held your exhausted form to his chest, he heard your sleepy voice whispering something he should have expected. "Please, when it's time to leave, let me down slowly." Of course, you would think he was only using you for something. He couldn't blame you. So he made it his mission. He would show you how much you meant to him. How much he loved and cherished you.

So maybe he should have fought for you? Shouldn't have chosen the city's peace and safety over you? Should have risked it all?

But this means nothing now. He had to move on.

Now, he was sitting in his office in his mansion. Sitting on the couch with his drink in hand and Steve and Sam on each side, They were joined by a dear guest. Nick Fury. Nick is a huge part of the mob. He started it off with Pierce at Hydra, but both of them grew too big. Then Pierce showed his true colours. So now he was playing on both sides. And nobody could stop him. A lot tried. But no one succeeded. Nick Fury was too dangerous of a man.

It wasn't a formal meeting. It was just a gathering. It wasn't planned. Nick showed up at Bucky's house. They talked about work for a bit, but the conversation drifted with time. With Steve's girl falling asleep in his lap, they found themselves talking about parenthood. How family and their line of work don't usually go together. However, those who did have families always managed to be the best. However, nothing could have prepared Bucky for the turn the conversation was about to take.

"Not all of them turn out to be good. You've got Pierce, for example. I have never seen a worse father in my life." The mention of the man's name caught Bucky's attention. Pierce definitely didn't win the Father of the Year award, but what does it mean?

"What do you mean?" It seemed Steve was thinking the same way as Bucky.

"That man married off his daughter to a beast and watched as he ate her off." The statement didn't sit well with Bucky.

"What are you talking about?" Bucky couldn't help, but he asked, wanting to know more.

"Alexander knows exactly what Rumlow does to his girl." Nick's answer wasn't enough for Bucky.

"What does he do?" He didn't care how desperate he looked or sounded. He needed to know everything.

"I think the scars on her body speak for themselves." It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. His blood ran cold. His lungs almost stopped working.

"Rumlow hurts his wife?" Sam was one to speak, knowing his best friend wasn't in the right state anymore.

"Hurt doesn't even begin to describe it. Poor girl has been hospitalised ten times in the last two years." His tight grip on the glass almost made it shatter in his hand. They have been doing this to his girl.

"How do you know this?" Steve couldn't help his curiosity.

"I know everything. And Pierce doesn't put much effort into hiding it from those close to him."

"How come nobody else knows?"

"I said only those close to him."

"But they look so happy. He seems to love her."

"Of course they do. Rumlow wants to be seen as a good family man. The perfect husband So they need to be a picture-perfect couple. Not a single flaw. It's easy to paint when you beat somebody that much."

"Why didn't she try to leave?"

"And go where? Her father has no problem with it. I heard that Rumlow slapped her in front of him. And Pierce did nothing."

Bucky was grateful for his bestfriends who kept the questions going because he needed to know everything. But he couldn't speak. Nick seemed to be talking about some stranger he barely knew. And it was true. But not to Bucky. That was you. His whole entire world. And someone was hurting you. And you couldn't do anything. You were helpless. He should have trusted his instincts.

"How bad does it get?" He mastered the neutral tone, so not even Nick would know the fire burning through him.

"I don't know. All I know is if that was my daughter, Rumlow would be dead a long time ago." Instinctively, Steve pulled his daughter closer to him and laid a soft kiss on her head. How can any father not protect his daughter with his life? Steve would never know.

"But the girl is tough. Despite it all, she is still nice and caring to everybody." Nick added. And it somehow hurt Bucky more. For godsake. You even tried to be friendly with him. He, who left you, was a deer in a wolf's den.

"Have you ever met her?" Nick asked, looking at Bucky.

"Only on parties and occasions." He could never tell Nick that you were the love of his life.

Nick stayed for a little longer before he left. And Bucky couldn't recall a single thing after Nick told them the truth. Steve and Sam wanted to stay with their friends, but they knew better. He wanted to be alone right now. And he did. He went upstairs to the master bedroom. He opened a drawer in the side table and looked at a small album he kept hidden from the world. He tried to get rid of it but never had enough courage. It had all your pictures together. This album meant more to him than all of his good fortune.

Looking at the pictures, he felt like he was drowning. They took you away from him, only to hurt you. Bucky didn't know what to do. He must think straight, because if he didn't, he would go over and kill them all right now. It would be a bloodbath. But you were worth it. so worth it.

Before he could make any wise decision, he reached for his phone, dialling the number of the person who would help him.

"Bruce, I need a favour."

Bucky was standing by the bar, watching people talk and laugh in their very expensive attire. It was all so fake that he wanted to throw up. But maybe the act wasn't the only thing bothering him.

Bruce was able to do him the favour he asked for. And he gave it to him today. Your medical reports. All of them.

Bucky was stunned, to say the least. He regretted asking, but he had to know. How could anyone do this to you?

Broken bones. Internal bleeding. Deep Cuts. Concussions. Vaginal bleeding. Three miscarriages.

Bucky couldn't help the tear that fell on his face as he read the last report. It was two months ago. Two weeks before he met you again. A week before the anniversary party. You were recovering from another miscarriage and a broken elbow. Yet nobody could tell. You put on the act to perfection that even Bucky believed. You managed to trick Bucky, who claimed to have known you best. His heart ached to see how much Brock had to beat and break you to fool everybody that you are so happy. Bucky was a strong man who everybody feared, but he had to read how a nobody hurt his girl. Yes, you were his girl. You were always going to be his girl. He needed to figure out a way to get you out of there.

Which is why his eyes never left you since you walked in. It took all his willpower to not go and beat the hell out of Rumlow. But he knew better. All he could was wait and think. He watched your moves and your voice. You were such a good actress. With all you went through, you acted the happiness so well. He wondered how you were really behind closed doors.

He didn't plan to do anything tonight, but the moment offered itself when you walked to the garden alone. He followed you out instantly. Not knowing what to do. But he had to do something.

You were breathing the fresh breeze ear. You needed to a moment of peace, or you would have lost your mind. This morning, Brock lost his temper, and your body was still aching. It wasn't something you hadn't seen before. You mastered the ability to look and act fine by now. You just needed a moment away. You were glad there was a garden so you could enjoy the view of the stars

The familiar voice calling your name made you stop in your place.

"Mr. Barnes." You turned to him with a smile on your face. Even if you were alone, you weren't dropping the formality. Also, it looked like he never wanted you to

"I want to talk to you." He didn't know how he was going to approach the topic, but he had to do something. Say something, at least.

You gave him your full attention. What do both of you have to talk about? And after all these years. You weren't sure if you could even hold a conversation with him.

"Are you okay?" The question caught you off guard. It was a strange question to ask.

"I'm fine, thank you." You tried to keep a smile on your face. You haven't talked in years, and that is what he wanted to say?

"How are you and Brock?" Bucky was a feared mob boss, yet he couldn't get a word out that made sense.

"We are great." You couldn't hide your surprise. The last thing you expected was for you to talk about your relationship. Let alone with Bucky, from all the people in the world.

"Are you sure?" He should have thought about what to say first before he followed you.

"Yes, pretty sure." You weren't really seeing where this conversation was going.

"No, it's not great." Way to go, Bucky. He thought.

"I beg your pardon." Yes, of course, your relationship wasn't great, but that wasn't for Bucky to know.

"I know your relationship isn't that great." Bucky was hoping to get any reaction from you other than your pretty smile.

"I don't think that's for you to judge." You were taken back by his statement. So you went in defence mood.

"No, it's. It's when you aren't safe." You tried not to let your emotions take over your face. He didn't mean it this way, did he?

"I think I would be perfectly safe with my husband." You prayed he didn't catch your lie. You were a good liar by now.

"Does he make you memorise this?" Bucky was frustrated. Not with you. But with your situation.

"Does he tell you to always pretend you are happy?" Bucky was done with your act.

"Mr. Barnes, I don't think we should be talking about my marriage. And you can't talk about my husband like this." You knew you had to be direct and forward. Even if nobody was around, this wasn't a chance you were going to take.

"Do you have anything else you want to talk about?" You received silence, but you could tell he had a lot to say.

You turned to leave because you couldn't stay and have this conversation. Even if you wanted so desperately to stay in Bucky's company.

"How many more hospitalisations will it take for you to admit the truth? How many more babies do you have to lose before you leave?"

You froze in your place. It was like time had stopped. You were trying to process what Bucky just said. Every cell in your body was working overtime to keep you from shutting down. You turned again to look at him with your pale face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like this." Bucky felt guilty for throwing it like this in your face. But he saw you leave, and he had to stop you.

"How do you know?" The question may be irrelevant, but for you, it was important.

"It doesn't matter." Bucky tested the water by taking small, little steps towards you. You didn't move.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that I know." He was itching to hold you. Wrap you in his arms and protect you from the world.

"I'm okay, Bucky." It had been so long since you said his name, but it still felt the same. And you were back on track with your act quicker than you thought.

"No, you aren't. Nobody should ever go through this." He came to a stop in front of you. You saw empathy in his eyes you hadn't seen in a long while.

"Let me help, please." Bucky had no problem getting on his knees and beseeching you to allow him to step in.

"You can't help me." Your voice was tiny. You felt exposed. That part of your life wasn't to be known.

"No, I can. I have to try." Bucky wanted to help you, not just for your sake but for his too.

"No. It's my life now. I'm okay." You knew Brock wasn't going to get a trophy for being the best husband when you married him. However, it got so much worse than you thought.

"Stop saying that. You aren't." Bucky hated the surrender in your eye. The shakiness of your voice. He hated how you were choosing to accept this life when you deserved nothing but the best.

"There is nothing me or anybody could do." You made your peace with this fact long ago. Since Brock first hit you and nobody moved.

"I can. I should have never let you marry him in the first place." He moved even closer to you.

"Then it would have been the both of us, now. Either dead or suffering. I'm okay with it being me." You were. Maybe that is the reason you managed to survive up to now. That Bucky was okay

"You think I'm not suffering this way?" He followed his instincts and placed his flesh hand on your cheeks.

He prepared himself for you to flinch or move away quickly. But you didn't. On the contrary, your face softened. You were craving Bucky's gentle touch. You missed him so much. Bucky took this a sign and let the next words fall from his tongue.

"I still love..."

"Please, don't.

You stopped him right away. Did you still love Bucky? With all your heart and even more. But it was way more complicated than this.

"There nothing you could have done or can do to change it. It's my life, and I can't escape it." He should move on. He shouldn't even be standing with you here.

"I was doomed from the beginning. I'm so sorry I dragged you with me."

You shouldn't have let him love you. You should have heard his name and went the other way. You should have spread him all this pain and mess. If you failed to do it, then you would now. You moved away from, already missing his touch.

"Thank you, Mr Barnes. But I can never leave." You put on the act again, keeping your tears inside. You wished you weren't that helpless or broken, but you were. You were surrounded by monsters that can never let you break away.

You gave Bucky one last smile before you turned to get back inside. You didn't want to anger Brock more. And you didn't want to drag Bucky deeper. Even if your heart longed for him dearly. It wasn't right. You were a tragedy from the start.

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[itsplumwriter]

Bucky Finds Out Your Boyfriend Is Abusive

POV: Bucky finds out your boyfriend just hit you and decides to confront him.

ok so this one is a little dark and obviously there will be several trigger warnings. if you can relate to this in anyway.. i am sooo sorry. God did not create relationships for us to be victimized or abused in. if you are in an abusive relationship right now please tell someone as fast as you can, know that you deserve better and need to be treated properly. if you escaped an abusive relationship and are dealing with the aftermath, please know that healing is a process; sometimes you'll feel great, other times you may relapse into despair; just know you are not your past, how they treated you doesn’t define you, and greater days are ahead - you made the right choice by getting out of there. I'll pray God watches over and blesses all your relationships, dolls <3

Dedicated to Bridget <33

Recommended song: shawn mendes - treat you better (slowed)

trigger warnings: abuse, bruises, toxic/abusive relationship, slight physical altercation

--- --- ---

Bucky was having the best time.

It had been forever since you had come over just to hang out; he'd almost forgotten how fun it was. Bucky had ordered pizza in. You brought over some chocolate ice-cream. And the two of you threw popcorn at each other while watching Disney movies and working on a puppy puzzle. It was a simple hangout, yet it meant everything to Bucky.

He missed you... a lot.

Ever since you started dating another agent from Shield you rarely had time to hang out with him anymore. He knew it was his own fault for not asking you out first. He had liked you for a long time, but he had waited too long... Nearly a year of flirting, but he never made a move.

He was afraid if he did he’d lose you as a friend altogether. And there was no chance of him hurting you if you were with someone else, so he figured maybe it was better this way.

The problem was you didn't even seem happy with this boyfriend of yours... you always looked drained when you came into work, as if you hadn't slept all night, and you were constantly on your phone responding to his incessant texts and calls.

There was a time when you even stopped smiling, stopped hanging out with the rest of the team, stopped talking to Bucky altogether.

Bucky was about to confront you about your change in behavior, but you kept turning down his invites to hangout, saying you and your boyfriend were too busy. 

In reality it was because your boyfriend didn't want you hanging out with anyone else, especially Bucky. He gathered quickly the dynamic between you and Bucky and immediately categorized it as a threat. So, out of jealousy, he didn't allow you to see him except at work.

The fact was, you were miserable. The slightest thing could set your boyfriend off. You were walking on eggshells at all times trying to keep him happy. He hadn't hit you as of yet, but he had thrown things and yelled so loud it'd make you cry. You wanted to break up with him; but you were just so terrified of the reaction you kept putting it on hold.

He must have suspected this because today he finally agreed to allow you to see your best friend Bucky (as long as you agreed to text him before and after). You jumped on the opportunity.

You popped some popcorn into your mouth, watching Bucky scrunch his nose, concentrating on fitting a piece into the puppy puzzle.

You smiled… you missed him.

You had forgotten how nice it was to hang out with him. How easy.

There had been a light on-and-off buzzing sound all throughout your visit with Bucky that you'd been ignoring. When you heard it again, you realized what it was.

You nearly knock over the popcorn, searching your bag for your phone. Your stomach flips the moment you see it.

Apparently, your boyfriend had changed his mind about allowing you to hang out with Bucky and wanted you home immediately…. two hours ago.

Your heart sinks. “I've gotta go..." you utter.

"Already...?"

You barely nod before you grab your bag and scurry out of there.

"Alright… well then, I guess I'll see you lat--"

You slam the door before he can finish. You didn't mean to ignore him. But you were terrified. Terrified of the result of this. 

Bucky's eyebrows were still furrowed long after you left. His eyes wander to the floor when he sees you left your wallet behind.

--- --- ---

Bucky approaches the door of your apartment, your wallet in hand. He'd come to return it as well as see what was the cause of your urgency.

It takes you a while to answer the door and when you do Bucky turns stark white.

You're holding an icepack to your eye, and there is blood on your lip and brow. 

It takes you a moment to realize it’s him. You turn red from embarrassment.

"Bucky... I- I thought you were someone else..."

Bucky pushes his way in, lifting your chin to inspect your face. "Y/N?? What happened to you?"

You drop your gaze. "Nothing... I'm fine.”

Bucky starts looking around the apartment.

"Did your boyfriend do this to you?" he asks, urgently.

You don't answer him. You can't even look at him.

Bucky begins searching the entire apartment.

"Where is he??"

"I don't know..."

"Y/n!! Tell me!!"

"I don't know! The bar maybe?... Why?"

Bucky nods, storming out the apartment.

"Bucky, where are you going??"

Before you knew it, he was gone.

--- --- ---

Bucky strides into the bar, fuming at this point. It only takes him a few moments to spot your boyfriend by the bar table, talking to a group of people.

The guy is all smiles and without a scratch on him. This makes Bucky even madder.

Your boyfriend spots him and cheers. "Hey! Metal man! What are you doing here?"

He doesn't know Bucky that well. In fact, he seemed to go out of his way to ignore him at work, especially after finding out Bucky was such good friends with you. But his fake charm had always been a part of his façade. Bucky couldn't believe he never realized it. Never realized this man was abusive.

Bucky doesn't break his momentum; as soon as he's close, he shoves him hard on the shoulder and snatches him by his neck, making his grin vanish into thin air.

The bar quiets down to eavesdrop.

"I'm not going to hurt you, because I'm not that guy anymore..." Bucky says, through gritted teeth. "But if you touch y/n again... Rule #2 won't be the only thing I'll break around here..."

Bucky releases him, turning to leave quickly before his anger lands him in jail.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Barnes..." he calls out, adjusting his collar.

Bucky stops mid-walk.

"I mean, she's my girl... I can do whatever I want…”

Bucky turns around, moving on him like a hyena before grabbing his neck, lifting him clean off the ground and slamming him hard against the table.

He growls. "Don't test me..."

With Bucky’s hand on his neck, he makes small gurgling noises and turns red before conceding.

"Alright!!" He manages to squeeze out.

Bucky releases, dropping him to the floor with a thud.

Random drunkards in the bar start whistling and cheering for Bucky.

But Bucky's expression doesn't change. He storms out the bar, headed back to his main area of concern. You.

--- --- ---

"Y/n... you still in here?"

Bucky steps into your apartment cautiously.

You get up from the couch. “Bucky... what happened?"

Bucky goes straight to your room, pulling a bag from your closet and throwing clothes in from your dresser.

“I almost ripped his head off… but I didn’t. I’m pretty sure he’ll leave you alone now though.”

You watch Bucky packing your clothes. “What are you doing?"

“You're not safe here... He could come back to your apartment...”

Your heart warms at the sight of his actions. The act was sweet. Bucky had always been sweet. The only guy who actually cared and was a good friend to you. You needed to tell him. It was unfair to keep it a secret any longer.

"Bucky, you should know, I never really liked him... I've always really liked you."

Bucky turns white, clearing his throat. "Do you wanna stay at Nat's house tonight?"

"...Bucky, did you hear me?"

"Hmm?"

You purse your lips together. "What do you think about what I just said..."

Bucky doesn't respond, continuing to fling your clothes into your bag.

“Bucky…?”

Your stomach twists with embarrassment. "Look, if you don't feel the same way, you can just say so, but don't act like you can’t hear me--"

"Y/n, of course I feel the same way!" he blurts and it silences you. "And I feel sick to my stomach I waited so long to tell you... waited so long that you had to waste your time with that clown... If I had just admitted it earlier that jerk wouldn't have had the chance to... I should have just... this is all my fault."

Bucky plops down on the edge of your bed, burying his hands in his face, starting to sob.

You wait a moment before approaching him, putting your hand on his shoulder. "Bucky, this isn't your fault... like at all."

Bucky sighs. "Thanks, doll… but I know it’s not true…”

You lift Bucky’s chin with your hand. “Listen to me Bucky. This is his fault… and his fault alone. You hear me?”

Bucky looks up at you, examining your bruises again, putting his hand on your cheek. "Does it hurt, doll..."

You shake your head, softly wiping his tears. "Not really... I’d say it’s getting better.”

Bucky nods.

“Ill drive you to Nat’s house. But after that, what do you need? Is there anything else I can do?”

You shrug. “… Nothing you haven’t already done since the day we met… Just be there for me.”

—- —- —-

hope you guys liked it <3

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<33

love you dolls! xo

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky #bucky imagine #bucky imagines #bucky one shot #bucky oneshot #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #marvel fan fiction #marvel fanfic #marvel fic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan imagines

[bucknastysbabe]

your pegging fic with bucky was SO FUCKING GOOD. can you please do another one?? like im literally so into it i was drooling the whole time

as for plot, just making him cry again LOL and overall just having him be a mess because

we love that for him.

thank you thank you thank you!

Bro I am so sorry I have no clue how this escalated. You have another free Bucky railing fic that doesn’t include my brain going wild. But he do be crying and a complete mess. Thanks for asking and I hope you are at the LEAST entertained!

Goes along with Praise Kink

Shadowplay - Joy Division

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 3,882

Tags: TW‼️WHUMP, DEAD DOVE, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, OFF SCREEN SUI‼️, Everyone is crazy, the reader is having a Hydra Life Crisis, Lots of ass play, pegging(m!receiving), fem dom, reader is ace spectrum, Bucky is a crybaby overstimulated touchstarved Angel, praise kink, slight dacry, angst ANGST ANGSTTTTT, switching pov’s like me in bed, they do a little Russian it’s called they do a little Russian, Hydra!Reader

A/N: idk man I’m just a vessel, also just liked the idea of there being a lead up to Buckbuck being like I Cannot Compute Anymore You Assholes then his boyfriend Steve saves the day💞 HC: Pierce likes Bucky be in emotional pain so sends him to her thinking he’ll kill the reader. Translations under cut

Russian translations: Милый (dear), блять (bitch/whore), глупая девчонка (foolish girl), Малыш (baby/bb boy), Умница (good boy), да (yes), хуй (cock), Трахни меня (fuck me), командир (commander), Спасибо (thanks/ty), зимний солдат (winter soldier)

To the center of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you.

To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you

The asset knew he had to report to his Komandir. That’s what happened every mission. They tried to tell the asset that Rumlow was his handler now. Rumlow was not his handler. Komandir was. But she had been gone for some time and he needed her back. The strike team leader was reckless and too bloodthirsty, not calculating enough. The asset could not say that out loud.

He trudged through dark alleys and poorly lit streets, rain pelting down on his leather tactical gear.

Nice Komandir. She was nice. The asset had unregulated emotions for her. He needed maintenance badly. First, the asset must give the mission report to her. The fake handler would be monitoring for the asset now, with their dogs and strike team.

Strike team would not find the asset. He will return himself after reporting to Komandir. The asset got intel on her whereabouts. She was relocated in New York under a new alias. The asset could almost smell her, see her, if he focused enough.

His boots slapped through a puddle before launching up a fire escape. The rain poured down harder— threatening to fill up the alley like an ocean. The asset would swim until his lungs gave out. The Director couldn’t take her away, putting her in an swarm of people or in the deepest cave. Because the asset would find her. She had to be locked up. She would never leave the asset.

They took her— he’d decided earlier after reporting to the pretender. The asset’s morale was sinking fast under Rumlow. That’s when the Director informed the asset on his Komandir. The Director had waved a hand dismissively, “Go find her then, do what you must and come back.” He didn’t understand but went out anyways.

I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you.

In a room with a window in the corner, I found truth.

Soldat climbed higher and higher until he was outside her window. He’d memorized it over and over and over and over. The asset grappled onto the thin balcony with a jump, using the moment to swing himself onto the platform. His covered eyes gathered the limited surroundings. A couple of flowerpots, an ashtray on the windowsill, and her familiar face gaping in the window.

The asset wanted to weep, kneel, receive her perfect touch. The asset only got stabs, bloody thrusts, and punches between his bloodshot eyes. Then wiped and put on ice. Although he hadn’t been put on ice much since transitioning to the United States. They had lots of people to get rid of before that. So the Director wiped him more often.

The window opened and her familiar rasp rang out in the rainy night, “Sweet soldier. You must be cold. Come in.” The asset nodded dumbly, shoving himself precariously through the window, contorting his broad shoulders and thighs to get through. Inside was a silent, thinly furnished room.

Cigarette stubbed beside the couch, the television playing something. His blues caught on a blanket and book, her handgun laid on top. Air blew the curtains softly from the window in the corner. The asset whimpered, “Where did you go Komandir?,” he fell to padded knees, “I cannot comply when Rumlow doesn’t have clearance for mission report.”

She cooed and stood tall as always, only clad in a thin gown. Komandir’s lips turned down at the mention of Rumlow. Her hands brushed his cheeks. Off came the goggles, then the mask. The asset’s wide blue eyes followed her obediently. One of her calloused thumbs strummed against his stubbled jaw. She said, “Sweetheart, I’m not officially your handler, not your Komandir anymore.”

He nuzzled into her hand, lips already wobbling. Why would they replace the best Komandir? She learned from Vasily Karpov, Vasily from…from. He couldn’t remember— there had been so many. One that smelled of aftershave and two older men with glasses that made him feel very cold.

She sighed, “They said I wasn’t worth their time sweet boy. I had to go.” The asset believed her, Komandir always told the truth. She knelt down and smiled, tears welling in her eyes. “You’re a star, precious, you shine so bright that not everyone can keep up with it.”

He replied, a ghostly whisper if anything, “The left me to Agent Rumlow. You couldn’t stay under him?”

Fear laced her stern features for the first time. The asset grew uneasy. His programming was screaming, “Maintenance! MAINTENANCE!” Her heart rate spiked rapidly while the agent fumbled for words. He gripped her wrist to bark, “You defected then! You defected like a coward and left me,” a sob tore his throat, “with them!”

His silver hand wrenched Komandir‘s other wrist towards him, her grunting in pain. Her breasts heaved as she panted. The asset glared her down, so many emotions swirling he felt he may explode. She lied to him. Why would she lie to him? Her star.

“Soldat. Status Report please,” she quavered.

Soldat’s tight shoulders relaxed minutely as he listed off, “Physical functions one-hundred percent. Maintenance required as soon as possible. Confusion, dangerously elevated norepinephrine, panic, traumatic response, and- and-,” he bit his tongue to stare. Komandir’s face was wrought with grief.

She murmured, climbing into the asset’s lap, “I need you to slow down comrade. It’s just you and me right now,” she pet his long locks to elicit that chest deep purr, “Can I tell you what happened while I get you clean sweet boy?”

The asset’s lids dropped at her soft body, familiar scent, and wise words. His plump lips trembled while whining, “P-please. I-I’m becoming…defective.”

“I know,” she soothed, “I know.”

In the shadowplay, acting out your own death, knowing no more.

As the assassins all grouped in four lines, dancing on the floor.

As the former agent pet her broken star her chest constricted with emotions. Pierce knew. The bond between asset and handler had grown entirely too close. He’d spat at her, “That thing is a weapon, not a puppy for you to coddle.” She wanted to tell the Director that a person could only go so long under this treatment before snapping completely. Render them useless to the plan. Whatever that may be.

Surprisingly Pierce had demoted her down to the lowest strike team squadron and elevated the prick Rumlow to be the next handler. The Director’s shiny teeth looked like fangs as he spoke, “I’ll keep you around because of your…skills. Any infractions you’re dead.”

So the former Komandir was a grunt again, under Strike Team Omega. They mainly went around sabotaging small terrorist cells. Soldat whined under her hand again, the woman tilting his wide eyes up. She frowned. Poor baby looked so broken, so lost. He had no clue he was going to leave here without his Komandir.

“Take off your gear, precious,” she ordered.

The Russian divested soldat of his guns and knives, laying them out on a neat line. She asked, “How much are they putting you on ice sweet boy?” His blues grew disoriented as he thought. Mechanical as ever, Soldat’s hands divested his leather top.

“Not much. More wipes. Something is coming.”

Something was coming. Maybe not now but in a couple of years. Pierce had something big. There was a reason scientists were holed up in one the hangars, crews building day and night. So they were over-using the soldier to make sure nothing crept out.

She thumbed the seam of scars along the asset’s prosthetic, the other’s hands jolting at the sensation. His pretty lips opened to whimper. Komandir unbuckled his belt and hummed, “They demoted me. I was with a lower strike team. I couldn’t take it anymore. W-without you I cannot provide anything useful for the greater cause.”

The woman remembered her last point. They were in Zagreb celebrating after a arms dealing commune was torn to shreds. Instead of going home, the team helped themselves to the women in trafficking. Assassins, warriors— dancing fools with these broken women. The former handler left and didn’t look back. She knew nothing. Hydra had a purpose once. It grew rancid just like everything else.

And with cold steel, odor on their bodies made a move to connect.

But I could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left.

Alone in the world again. The Komandir wandered and wandered. Somehow always getting roped back into the underbelly of civilization. She told the silent asset about it. He seemed just as lost contemplating free will.

“I joined a couple of syndicates, former KGB, some widows. I moved around the states and just found no one had a goal. I just try to get by now, my sweet. It’s not pretty out there.”

She wiped her nose, “And to think I’d always dreamed of having you to myself forever. Sick. Selfish.”

I did everything, everything I wanted to.

I let them use you for their own ends.

Tears welled in Komandir’s eyes. She pulled his huge frame close and cried into greasy hair. “I should have got you back, kept you safe, get Hydra back to stage one,” her voice cracked, “I don’t know. I just ran and left them to break you down even more. I-I-I-I’m so sorry Милый, I’m so sorry.”

The Russian knew how this would end. She would die and be a remnant of something unattainable. Perfect was unattainable. Soldat was the closest she would witness and that’s enough. She stroked his wide back with gentle circles, sobs dying.

Soldat’s voice was a dull rasp in the pitch room.

“What would you have me do, Komandir?”

He looked so hopeful. Rage filled her heart, cracking and blistering from exposure. Run with me, start anew, kill that блять Pierce. The woman sat back and put on a smile. She purred, “I would have you relax and let me take care of you, sweetness.”

The asset nodded, unlacing his boots, plates in his arm clacking and humming. The woman thumbed his delicate nose, the thin skin under a once bright blue eye. She whispered, “Such a pretty soldat, perfect soldat.” Silent tears slid down her face. Vasily was probably in a hideout shaking his head. глупая девчонка.

She said, “I’m going to get the bath running, just lay your clothes out and join me,” she shushed his panicked noise, “Just around the corner Малыш.” She padded through the small apartment, ignoring the state of it. Soldat likely cared.

The former agent ran it scalding hot, throwing some lavender in there. She readied a towel and fluffed it. The bath tub was small, but she wanted to pamper her perfect star anyways. She worried her lip, he seemed to be cracking, bad. Too much time off ice and repeated wipes have not been studied. Komandir had never heard him speak so much, all that raw emotion.

Soldat’s hulking frame shadowed the doorway. Knelt down the Komandir beckoned him over. He gracefully clambered into the tub, sitting down with a grimace.

“Too hot?”

“No. I like it hot,” he murmured.

Her eyes roved the beauty of his body, stopping on heated cheeks, full lips, bulky chest, and that beautiful cock. It laid on his belly, a deep red and leaking. His balls were tight but she could see the stress, the heaviness of it. Supersoldiers needed to cum much more than the average man.

The woman grabbed a cup and dunked it to fill it up. Her other hand cupped his knee, thumbing the soft inside. Soldat whimpered again, dark lashes fluttering. She poured the water over his oily dark hair, doing it again until it was soaked.

“Lean up baby.”

She poured some cheap shampoo into her palm, lathering it up. The asset groaned deep in his chest at the contact— nails scritch-scratching away the oils and dirt. He stated, “I’m not supposed to remember you.” His watchful orbs looked up.

“You’re not supposed to remember that you’re not supposed to remember, Умница.”

He bit down on his lip and warbled, “I’m s-scared Komandir. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

You’re falling apart.

“Shh, baby, in the moment now, in the moment.”

He stilled but Soldat’s eyes had that ingrained wide-eyed fear. She washed the suds out and combed through the tangles, earning some pretty sighs. The Komandir found herself lecturing, “What the Americans do not get…you have to make sure your weap- agents are clean and cared for.”

She hissed while scrubbing his wide shoulders and neck, littered with yellowed bruises, “They don’t take care of their prized fist, that’s why poor soldat is feeling down.” He nodded along, shoulders relaxing minutely. Komandir washed down his arms, digging out the blood encrusted into the plates.

She did the rest methodically: Wash the feet, move down to the toes, calves, thighs. Stop. Soldat was mewling and squirming, face trained on her. His lips wobbled, brow furrowed in agony. The asset whined, “Komandir, please, need your touch, help me.” She ran a hand slowly down his trembling belly, palming the swollen cock.

“Soon, Малыш,” she promised.

His bitten lips pouted, but her good boy always listened. She stated, “I was blind that Hydra would keep the original goal alive. I felt more confident leaving knowing that. But I was wrong, sweet baby. You’re the key and they don’t know it.”

Komandir pulled out a straight razor and shaving cream. She shaved his stubble while continuing, “You will be the one to change Hydra. Burn it into the ground or rise above the sham it’s become. That’s your reality, and the time will come. You must not fail now dear soldat.”

He steeled himself, relaxing under orders, vague as they are. She knew Soldat knew he had to wait for the perfect moment. The brunette thanked her in the softest voice when she wiped off his newly cleaned cheeks. The woman cooed, “Never seen a prettier baby. Turn over so I can get everything.”

By the time she’d cleaned and prepped the soldier out he was a mess. He’d come once already, scrabbling at the tile and wailing in ecstasy. Poor thing wasn’t done. Now dry, her perfect soldier rutted against her soft, soft thigh. His pink lips were sealed around her nipple, whining and suckling.

She pulled at his long locks and said, “As a gift,“ she tapped his cleft chin, “Do you want your Komandir to fuck your sweet hole?” The Russian wouldn’t mention it was a final gift. He babbled in multiple languages but the message was clear— fuck me. She smiled down at his teary cheeks and cooed, “Eager baby. I’ll show you what it’s like to be fucked. Not like those jackasses.”

“Mmmh-pleaseee,” the brunette wantonly begged. He rutted against the bedding while the Komandir moved to a chest in the room. The asset drooled, spreading his thick thighs to draaag his achy cock against the too-soft material— eliciting an annoyed whine.

“Almost there my star,” she laughed. There were some noises of clipping and leather. To their ears it sounded like a gun belt or harness of sorts.

She clicked the heavy black silicone into place. There was no other side to stimulate the woman. Same as it always was, it was her precious boy’s pleasure to take, not her own.

Ambling over to the bedside she asked, “Front or back sweetheart?”

“Front, front, front!,” he babbled.

“Okay. When you see me and change your mind just say so baby.”

He made a confused gesture but flipped onto his back, exposing that pretty pink cock again. Drool actively collected on his plump lips at the sight of Komandir’s strap. He obviously had never seen anything like it. Scarred hands gave it a slow stroke, fingers barely able to meet around the girth.

“Well?”

The asset whined her name thinly, begging for her to take him. She climbed upon the bed one knee at a time, hand on the cock, eyes heady and glued on the trembling soldier. She purred, “Are you sure you want it? Reaaaally think baby boy, there’s freedom of choice under all that mess.”

She tried to play it across seductively but the true meaning was laid bare. Soldat’s eyes flicked about the heavy silicone, throat bobbing in anticipation. He began to speak, faltered, frustrated tears welling up. Finally with his head down the soldier croaked, “Please, want you, please.”

“I’ve got you.”

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

She stripped off the gown and tossed it to the dingy carpet. The woman crawled between his legs and kissed a path up to his waiting mouth, puckered tightly. He was vibrating with need, huge arms circling around Komandir’s slim waist. He closed the gap, licking into her open lips.

The woman seized Soldat’s throat with a loose grip, just to stabilize the inevitable freefall. The brunette’s lips were insistent, demanding— like he was trying to take her soul. She moaned lowly, twisting around his probing tongue easily, lips wetly smacking. She nipped his lip playfully, squeezing his veined throat.

The soldier cried out, teeth gnashing against hers as he kissed and kissed and sucked. The soft skin of Komandir’s belly rubbed against Soldat’s achy need, sending pin pricks of pleasure to overstimulated nerves. When she suckled on his tongue, the titanium arm shifted with a shrill whine.

She pulled back breathless, patting the hand once round Soldat’s throat on his sweaty chest. He mewled in frustration, rutting his cock into the air, no release on the horizon. The Russian cooed, “More kisses soon needy boy. You want my cock in you, да?”

Soldat nodded, tears dripping like a leaky faucet down his red red cheeks. The assassin spread his legs wide open, tucking heels against the meat of his ass. Komandir crooned, “Look at you, precious thing, all open and ready for my хуй.”

“Трахни меня! Fuck me!,” he sobbed.

She shushed him with a slight slap to a muscular thigh, wrapping them up around her hips afterward. A once-manicured hand guided the fake cock to the asset’s pink hole, glistening and ready with slick. He babbled, “Oh please- need it, командир, please!”

Without a pause she jabbed the entire length into his eager ass, pretty soldat crying in relief, ripping his big hands through the shitty sheets. She thrust into him deeper, before pulling out with a lurid squelch, then diving back in twice as hard.

The Komandir poured all over her anger, heartache, stupid stupid love, agony into the brutal fucking. The asset’s brown locks bounced around as he drooled and moaned like a slip of a thing getting her pussy split in half. He was in paradise. The woman grunted, smoothing her palms up his ridged torso, “Singing so sweetly baby, you feeling good star?”

“Y-yes,” he choked on his spit, “Gonna cum!”

She cocked her head in surprise, not missing a beat, “So soon, after I milked you out in the tub too? Greedy babe.” More tears leaked at the humiliation, the asset pulling her on top of his writhing body. He nuzzled into her sweaty hair, panting, “Mmmfuck, more, always more, never enough from you Komandir.”

Finding her own eyes growing wet the woman fucked him harder, shaking hand rolling his still swollen balls around. The asset mewled in her hair, getting it sticky with spit. His back was tightly arched as he clung to her. Behavior one wouldn’t see out of a six foot, two-hundred something pound killing machine.

He whimpered, “M’cumming, cumming for you, fuck!”

She seized his newly shaved chin and pressed damp foreheads together. The Russian breathed, “C’mon then, paint me up my precious. Good boys like you get to cum all they want.” He fell apart beautifully, all violent twitches of big muscles and the bloody biting of lips. Cum plastered her belly and even tits. The asset cried for his Komandir, trembling as she licked his tears up.

A feeling of time slipping struck the woman in the chest. In a fervent frenzy she coaxed him onto his belly, the soldier still dazed from the earlier release. The woman propped his ass up, praising the greatest creation of Hydra through her tears.

Die between his beautiful thighs.

She slid back into his sore hole, thumbing around the rim as she watched the stretch. Soldat snuffled, “Спасибо, Спасибо, Спасибо.” The brunette rutted back onto her brutal thrusts, bracing himself on his arms. Constant noises dried his mouth out but everything felt so good. His Komandir, back again to take care of the asset.

The Komandir was drilling his sweet spot dead-on now, moaning softly in delight. She pulled at her precious baby’s engorged cock and cooed in his ear, “Taking me so well, that’s my boy. I love you. You’re going to do big things,” he sobbed and spread out sluttily, “Bigger than me, Rumlow, Director, the whole lot of them.”

The asset was mewling and babbling, nose runny from how overwhelmed his body was. Everything felt like it was getting fucked on his touchstarved body. The cum getting forced out of his balls was spreading all over Komandir’s bed. But he was listening to her words, trying to, hard when he was about to explode.

“Promise me зимний солдат,” she whispered, “Promise me that when the chance comes you take it, okay sweetling? Do it for your Komandir who loves her star very much.” The woman couldn’t hide the crack in her voice at the end. Those gorgeous blues gazed at her like she was good, whole, someone who hung the moon and stars.

“глупая девчонка”, Vasily would say.

The woman kissed his blubbering lips to stop herself from crumpling. He panted, “I promise, I promise Komandir. I will cuh-comply.” He was puffing out weak cries now, twisting underneath her clumsy strokes. She swiped her thumb over the red hot tip of the asset’s cock and watched him spill for a third time, crumpling with a cracking wail. Only a bit spurted out this time.

The Komandir pressed her lips to the center of his spine, chest heaving. She sounded like a broken machine at this point. “Promise me, promise me precious star.” He wept, “I promise, I do, I love you, always follow my Komandir.”

The once prideful woman knew that was the last words her boy should utter. She eased out of his overtaxed hole, shushing him and holding on to that sweet little mewl for dear life. She took off the harness, aware of the soldier waiting. The woman would cuddle up for now, letting the soldier gather her up in his warm embrace. She snuggled tight, imprinting this moment into her soul.

His breath petered out into slow puff, mumbling ‘love you’ sleepily. The Komandir slid from his embrace, padding to the kitchen. Her heart was eerily calm. She knew this had to occur for the greatest creation of Hydra to rise above. His pain would fuel the fire of the future.

She scrawled out a letter, sweet as could be, apologizing for everything. The woman knew she deserved death. She wouldn’t make him do it. Ripping off the Hydra insignia necklace she kept on her neck was placed on the letter.

The woman moved the the couch and grabbed the gun. Shift, click, pray for me soldat, pull.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

#READ THE TW AND TAGS #answered asks #bucky is touch starved #ws bucky gets his ass rammed #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #hydra trash party #hydra reader #angsty angst angst #songfic

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Forbidden

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader (first person pov) random I know??

A/N: Another prompt from @a-bang-for-your-bucky. This one was a struggle but I finally got it done! Thanks poppet for always cheering me on 🥰

Prompt: “I hate you!” “Wrong, you love me.”

Warnings: Dodgy writing of Jedi fighting 🤣 I didn’t go into too much detail tbh. Not beta read, all the mistakes are mine. Anakin is a warning on his own because….damn.

Word Count: 2541

Calm. Quiet. A silence blanketed my mind as I finally gave myself over to the force. To feel at one with such an ever shifting entity required utmost concentration. I was racing through the grass with a loth-cat, eyes wide and my throat vibrating with a purr. The creature paused, looking up and over the stalks of grass to my silhouette on the hill. I wasn’t scared or worried. The force had me.

Everything blurred and next I found myself with an Edgehawk. Keen eyes narrowing in on prey, the family of loth-cats scattering and disappearing in the grass as the hawk’s shadow travelled over the ground.

Time fell away from me as my conscious expanded beyond anything I’d felt before. I was tethered to my body, I couldn’t get lost and I made my mind relax before I lost the connection. Stars, planets, suns, supernovas, they all swept past me at light speed. I was speeding like a fighter towards a planet I knew so well. Coruscant glowed like a jewel in a black ocean, the golden threads of light streaking past me as I was swept into the Jedi Temple. To home.

It was hard to comprehend where in the temple I was when I finally came to a stop, drawn to something so powerful it made my breath hitch. The throbbing mass made me reach out. Tendrils of darkness threaded around me, squeezing me, possessing me. I couldn’t cry out, my body was frozen at this silent attack and nothing could help me pull away. I was drawn in until all I saw were two blue eyes rimmed with red. And I knew, they saw me.

The sunlight of Lothal broke through my eyelids and I took a deep breath into my lungs. The dragged out gasp was loud, I felt like I’d been suffocating under the weight of whatever it was I saw.

“Are you alright?” As soon as he put his hand on me I felt my entire body relax. Obi-Wan crouched down beside me, concern marking his brow as he searched my eyes with his own and my emotions with the force. He wasn’t invasive, it wasn’t uncomfortable and his sense of worry was evident.

For a moment I thought I could tell him what I had seen but I wasn’t sure how to explain it. So I smiled, trying to hide my frayed self.

“Yes, thank you master. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of…how large it all was.” He gave me a small smile of understanding.

“It’s a little daunting when we realise how small and insignificant we really are, in the grand scheme of things.” He rose gracefully, holding out a hand for me and I took it. He pulled me to my feet and squinted up at the sun. “We should head back, we haven’t been able to find the hidden temple and I really must report back to the council.”

“Yes, master.” I dusted my robes of as we walked back to the ship, head full of what I’d seen. I knew those blue eyes, more than I would admit to anyone. They were accompanied but a head of unruly hair and lines on his that weren’t there at the moment. Was it a vision? Of the future? I watched the hem of Obi-wan’s robes as he strode ahead of me…I could tell him. Explain what I saw and see if he had some answers for me.

I shoved my hands in the wide sleeves of my own robes, head down as I lengthened my stride to catch him up. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to speak to him, not about his own Padawan. It could highlight my…unhealthy interest in Anakin. We were friends and it could never go beyond that.

My mouth twisted in a small smirk as I thought about Anakin back at the temple. He’d been denied this trip to Lothal because he had to catch up with his studies, so Master Kenobi had chosen me. I’d felt the brief flare of heat in the force from Anakin as he argued with his master, but Obi dug his heels in this time. I hated seeing the brief look of jealousy twist his handsome features but he had no choice except to concede. He’d followed us out to the landing platform, promising his master he’d study and get his work done for when we returned.

I slumped into the Co-pilot’s chair with a sigh. Priming the fuel system and awakening the ship while Master Kenobi calculated our hyperspace jumps. Once we broke the atmosphere and made our first jump he turned to me but didn’t say anything. He toyed with his moustache as though trying to figure me out but I just pulled my knees up and hugged them, lost in visions of blue eyes turning red.

When we arrived at the temple, there was no one waiting for our return. As we headed to the council chambers to make our report I could feel him. Anakin was in the training rooms, his energy was erratic and I paused, causing Master Kenobi to stop and turn.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes, Master.” I couldn’t explain it, the pull I felt to Anakin right then was mystifying but I knew I had to follow it. His gaze grew misty as he focussed on the force for a moment and then he nodded.

“You need to train, Padawan.”

“Yes, Master.” Relief flowed through me. It had been ages since I had exercised my skills with a lightsaber and Anakin always gave a good sparring session.

“Very well. I shall send for you if I can’t recall any details.” I hurried off before he could change his mind, following the wide halls of the temple and eventually ending up where the sense of Anakin was strongest. The door opened almost silently and I slipped into the room. Coruscant stretched beyond the open balcony but I didn’t care about any of that and quietly sat down before the mediating Padawan.

I took the time to study his features, they weren’t relaxed and he had a frown marking his brow. His mouth was down turned slightly and a single bead of sweat ran down his temple. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, leaving his braid to hang freely, just like I had mine. I wanted to interrupt my friend but he looked deep in his meditation and so, I closed my eyes and decided to find him another way.

Immediately I was drawn into a swirl of darkness. Far off screams sounded at the back of my mind but it was Anakin’s turmoil that clouded over anything else. It roiled through me, stealing all my senses and chucking me headlong into a vision of his mother. She was screaming, reaching out for him as he called back to her but neither one could move closer no matter how hard they tried.

Anakin… I could have touched the tears on her face but this wasn’t my vision. I was just an observer and I thought I’d go unnoticed until those blue eyes I knew as well as my own latched onto me.

I was thrown out of the picture, unceremoniously snapping back into my own body, opening my eyes to see Anakin studying me coolly, his position unchanged.

“Did Master Kenobi teach you that on your mission?” The question as barbed with jealousy but I was expecting this from him. I wanted to ask him about the vision, his mother…but I knew I wouldn’t get far if I did.

“Did you catch up with your studies?” He refused to answer me, getting up and moving to his cloak and lightsaber that he’d left to the side. “I could quiz you.”

“I don’t need help.”

“You can help me then,” I suggested as I stood up, both my sabers in hand. He glanced over at me, a small grin started and it spread into a cocky smirk. The exact reaction I was hoping for. Anakin was always up for a fight, especially when he was feeling not quite himself.

“Me? You want my help?” He pointed to his chest and sauntered back to the middle of the room.

“I believe that’s what I said. Of course if you’re not up to it…” his saber ignited in response, the blue blade shooting from the silver hilt and I flicked the switches on my own. My kybers were green with a yellow tinge, making it lighter than the other green lightsabers around the temple.

“Your move.” I scrunched up my nose as we began to circle one another. My body was relaxed and I twirled both sabers to give Anakin a show of my control. He favoured the fifth lightsaber form, the one that had more capability to overpower your opponent and he was proficient in it.

I myself preferred form six. I liked the balance of it, having two blades rather than hacking and pushing with a two handed swing. True, Anakin’s strength nearly always bested me but I was determined. When he made the first swing I was ready. It was too much to block his blows head on, so I relied on my footwork and glancing his blade off my own rather than taking the hit completely. We sparred for what felt like hours but it was only minutes. Both of us concentrating and I saw the change in him when he realised I was t so easily beaten this time. His hits became harder, wider, more difficult to avoid and I knew I had to end this soon or he’d overpower me yet again.

I gathered the force to me, spinning round and pushing him off his feet he gave a surprised yell. He ended up on his back, his chest rising as he breathlessly laughed with surprise.

“Where did you learn that?” Turning my own weapons off I offered him a hand to stand and he took it.

“I observe. I learn. You don’t use the force so much in your combat, choosing the physicality of the fight.” I could have sworn he looked proud but maybe I was imaging it.

“Watch me closely do you?” I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved him.

“I hate you!” He laughed, his eyes never leaving my face when he retorted instantly:

“Wrong, you love me.” It was such a simple sentence but one that had no place here and my joy faltered as we stared at each other. My heart was thudding roughly in my ears and I hoped he didn’t notice my reaction, but Anakin was more in tune with me than anyone else here.

The playful air was dropped and he hesitantly reached for me, brushing his fingers along my wide sleeve. Anakin’s expression grew serious, his blue eyes searching mine and he stepped closer into my space.

“I’ve been wanting to say something—since I met you.” I shook my head still not believing how quickly this had turned.

“We can’t,” I choked out. “The rules…” He was far too close but I was incapable of moving away. Anakin had always cast a spell over me but it wasn’t until this moment that I really felt the full effect.

“Ignore the rules.”

“Anakin…we shouldn’t!” I hissed shooting a glance at the closed door.

“We feel what we feel. They can’t take that from us. Rules don’t keep us apart, the Jedi can’t keep us apart and neither can the force, it pulls me to you. You feel it too.” He spread his fingers, holding his hand palm out towards me and I hesitantly, matched him. Pressing my palm against his and feeling his callouses from holding a lightsaber. I swear I could feel every ridge of his palm and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “It’s what brought you to me.”

“Anakin—.” He threaded his fingers through mine and pulled me closer. His eyes, mirroring a summers sky on Naboo were clear of the infliction I’d seen destroy them in my vision. No red or yellow here, just a gaze full of love, desire and want.

“They can throw us to the opposite ends of the Galaxy,” he murmured, dipping closer to me. “But our souls will always find each other. We are made of the same stardust.” His words breathed over my cheeks and my heart skipped a beat at the closeness, his body pressed into mine, his hand clutching me tightly like he never wanted to let me go.

“I would destroy worlds for you,” he whispered. It was wrong, forbidden. But in a moment of utter recklessness I closed the gap between us. He matched my kiss with his own abandonment, dropping his lightsaber so he could cup my face and hold me like I was slipping from his grasp.

He flooded me with passion, filling my mouth with his taste and I could only moan in delight. It was everything I had dreamed, every bit as delicious as I’d imagined in the dark corners of my room in the dead of night.

He walked me back to the wall, hiding us behind a pillar so if anyone was to walk in we weren’t immediately noticeable. My hands grabbed at the fabric of his robes, desperate to feel him underneath, to skate my hands over his skin as he…

Anakin broke off the kiss and looked over his shoulder towards the door and I froze. He stretched out a hand and called his lightsaber to him off the floor and put a finger to his kiss bruised lips, a mischievous spark in his eye. The door swished open and Obi strode in with Yaddle, his sentence faltering at the lack of his students presence.

“Maybe they headed to the archives,” she suggested and he nodded in puzzled agreement.

“Yes. They never do as they’re told. Or what I expect.” They left the door open so we could only dissolve into semi whispered hysterics. I muffled my sniggers against his chest, feeling him laughing with me as our elation and adrenaline at almost being caught raced through our bodies.

“That was close,” I breathed.

“Poor master.” He grinned widely, such a roguish look that it had me smiling in return as I leaned back against the pillar. He snatched another brief kiss from me, stealing my ability to breathe in the process before backing away.

“Do you think we can beat him to the archives?” With a whirl of his robes he was gone and I had no choice but to try and catch up. My smile faltered and I paused at the door. The sense of foreboding was growing, the realisation that if we continued this, my visions could come true. I would destroy worlds for you… Anakin never said anything unless he meant it.

At a small noise I turned to see Master Yoda standing half in the shadows. His large eyes gazing up at me with a blank expression. He didn’t speak, or move. Just leaned on his staff and watched me.

He knew.

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker/reader #Anakin skywalker/you #my writing #mylifeisactuallyamess #obi-wan kenobi

[eclecticpatrolroadlawyer]

Ruin

Masterlist

Note: This is the 2nd part after "We hate you."

Summary: the aftermath of Nick's betrayal. Nick's pov.

Pairings: Nick Fowler x wife! Reader, Bucky Barnes x reader.

Warnings: Angst.

Sequel of "We Hate You"// ''We love you'' (alternate ending of Ruin)

Flashback

I felt pathetic at that time. Felt weak and hated myself that couldn't do anything. I hated that I wasn't a good mother and couldn't protect my unborn child. It didn't even take its first breath and I couldn't ever hear its voice calling me 'Mama'. I wanted to cry. But I couldn't let them enjoy the moment of seeing my pathetic state. I took a deep breath in and said what I wanted to say with all my strength left in me cause I knew Nick loved me and what will he feel when he will look into the gift I chose for him. I knew Nick very well or not. I don't know but still I had to say it. "You know don't ever be sorry. I trusted you. Gave my whole heart. My mistake, not yours" I said as he looked at me as if his whole world crumbled down but he was quick to cover it under his cold eyes . That's why I choked out with all my strength left in me "We hate you but still forgive you, after all, I loved you . Hope you love your gift I chose for you, Darling. " and then I let darkness engulf me thinking about the family we could have if this didn't happen as I felt the world disappear under my closing eyelids.

Present

Nick's pov

'We, WE! What does she mean by we? wait! Don't tell m...' My thoughts were interrupted by a huge bang on the door with some loud noise outside as if someone was shouting. I gulped down the lump forming in my throat as my breath got heavy.

"Nick we have to go. There's not much time. Our mission is finished. Let's go." Mace said as she was pacing around to clean up all the shreds of evidence that points out to us. Yeah, I should get out of here but for some reason, I couldn't stand. I was stuck in that place.

I looked at Y/n's body beside me. 'It was all an act. It was all an act. Yeah, act. But why the hell am I feeling guilty as if someone just stuck a knife into my chest! Why I was feeling devastated. Why I didn't wanna leave her. Didn't wanna leave her body. Just wanted to hold it tight and cry. Cry for my whole life begging for forgiveness. Why, why, why am I feeling like this? WHY?' I suddenly lost balance of my leg and fell on the floor.

Mace came up to me and asked "What happened ? What are you doing? They are here Nick. Get the fuck up. Com... " but I couldn't hear anything that she was saying. I felt as if I was drowning deep down in the water. Y/n was my life saver and my oxygen when she was alive. She was my only hope. But now when she was gone, I felt like I can't swim at all. I am drowning deep inside and then suddenly I felt a liquid flowing down my cheeks at that time Mace also stopped talking as if she was amazed by the scene she was seeing.

And the next words I heard from her also left me shocked "Wtf! Ar... Are u crying? Are u serious Nick? Why are you crying?"

'Yeah, why I am crying. I don't know. But I didn't wanna wipe those tears that are falling. I felt like I deserved it. I felt like a monster. Y/n she... a gift! Gift! Yeah, she mentioned a gift.' And as I thought I suddenly abruptly stood up and began searching for the gift she mentioned.

Unconsciously, I started murmuring the same word "Gift, Gift, Gift! Where is the gift!?". Without any care, I threw everything that came my way in the search. I felt like I had only one mission 'Find the gift' . I wanted to make sure of my intuition is right or not. I didn't know what I am gonna do if I find out but still I couldn't stop myself as if my body was not my own anymore they were on a spell or something... My brain was telling me to find it but deep down in my heart I felt like I knew what was in that. Still, I felt like I didn't want it to be true. I prayed to whoever was there, not to let my intuition be true.

Suddenly, I was interrupted by someone grabbing my hand as if to stop me. I heard them calling my name telling me to stop and go. I suddenly got irritated and pushed them off my way. I saw Mace falling to the floor. "Are you insane Nick? Wtf! U r doing!? The fucking guy outside will be in here in any second Nick." And as soon as she said the door burst open revealing him.

The guy who had, no, still has a crush on Y/n. Not crush but love her too dearly that he let go of her hand so that she could be happy with me. James Buchanan Barnes. Why is he here? How did he know? I was shocked to see him that I couldn't defend myself when he suddenly punched me. "WHY? I ASKED WHY YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE?" He asked as he punched me hard continuously. I was breathing heavily as I felt my blood trickle out of my mouth nose and everywhere. I saw his face change into a horrified one when he saw Y/n's body, after opening the door, laying down lifeless.

Natasha! Y/n's best friend stopped Bucky by grabbing his hand to beat me anymore "STOP IT JAMES! LET'S TAKE Y/N TO BRUCE. HE MIGHT DO SOMETHING. SHE HAS LIGHT PULSE JAMES. I CAN FEEL IT".

James hurriedly got off my body and carried y/n's body outside with him in his arms. I felt a pang of guilt and jealousy seeing him touching what's mine. My wife she was but I don't think she ever will be anymore. I looked at the ceiling as I breathed heavily and smiled thinking all the sins I did ever in my life must have been paid for now by taking one of the most precious things in my life. Y/n.

Suddenly I felt something thrown on my body. I looked up to see Natasha standing in front of me. "Hope what you did after seeing this, doesn't make you regret it anymore." She said and then went to join James.

I looked at the gift thrown beside me. I gulped down the lump forming in my throat. I didn't wanna look into the gift. I felt tears running down my cheeks as I lay down on the floor guessing what might be there in it. 'Please God. For the first time, I am praying don't let it be what I am thinking. Please' I mentally prayed.

After wiping the tears from my face I got up in a sitting position. I stared at the wrapped gift which was laying there. It looked like a nightmare to me. I looked at Mace who was sitting in front of me devastated. After all, she was her best friend. She had the same horrifying expression as me and then she looked at me and said in a whisper "Everything had ended, Nick. Open the gift. Let's just face the sins we have done Nick. It's no use"

I gulped nervously as I unwrapped the gift with my shaking hand slowly. I couldn't, I didn't want to. I felt as if I can't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I felt as if I was having an anxiety attack. I took a deep breath and released it and opened the lid slowly.

My eyes widened at the scene. I picked up the letter saying

'HI DADDY! I can't wait to meet you'

with small hand and foot print.

I started to cry loudly. 'God! What I have done. No! Please. I wanted to die. This was the worst sin I have done... ' I choked out between cries "H.. How can a father kill his child? How! " I couldn't handle this pain. This was the worst I have ever felt. My child! The one whom I always dreamt of with Y/n. Beautiful family living in a small house with a beautiful garden around and swings as I fixed up the house on my own as Y/n with her pregnant bump plays with our child awaiting for our next child arrival into the world. This was the family and scene I dreamt of. Now, it's all shattered. Everything I dreamt of, every scene I thought.

I didn't notice Mace coming near the gift until she said the one word which made me more feel empty "Twins. Y/n was going to have twins" She said as she looked at the sonogram. I hurriedly snatched the sonogram from her hand and looked at it.

I looked at the sonogram as if I couldn't believe it. I... I was going to have Twins. My eyes widened and I grit my teeth. I didn't notice that I was breaking everything and throwing here and there until I felt Mace wrapping me in her hands to stop me from destroying it. "STOP IT. STOP IT OKAY! YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF. Y/N NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOURSELF" she screamed as she sobbed.

After hearing Y/n's name I screamed "OH YEAH! SHE DIDN'T WHEN SHE LOVED ME. SHE NOW DOES. SHE WANTS TO SEE ME BEG FOR FORGIVENESS. SHE WANTS ME TO FEEL THE MUCH WORSE PAIN SHE HAD FELT. SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE. Sh...She doesn't love me anymore." I choked out the last sentence as a whisper as I cried. I couldn't handle this pain. Because of me. Just because of me I feel this. Just because I was weak. Just because I was such a pathetic human. I fell to my knees as I hugged the sonogram and cried remembering the moment I should have stood up for her but instead I had to listen to what they told me to do even though I didn't want to.

-"Hello, Nick! Please come and sit" Agent Derek said as soon as I entered the office frowning.

-"Any important mission that you suddenly asked my presence today Me. Derek? I think I had taken a leave today. " I questioned clenching my jaw. Today was my and Y/n's anniversary and by no means I wanna be late. I wanna surprise her today.

-"Well, I hope you know the 'Operation Vittles' is the important mission for ours and Y/n is the main lead as she contains much important information and according to our informer Miss Y/n is being a stepping stone on this of our mission Mr Nick," Derek said.

-I furrowed my eyebrows. I felt as if I knew where this was going. I clenched my jaw and asked, "So, what are you implying Mr Derek?"

-"Well I am saying that if Y/n is ever kidnapped then our operation can be in great danger." Derek said and added "That's why I thought it will be good if you remove her permanently Mr Nick. We don't want any casualties in this mission"

-When he said those words I felt like my whole world came crashing down, "WHAT!" I got up from the chair abruptly and hold his collar and screamed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND! THE WOMAN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT IS NEITHER SOME KIND OF MISSION NOR AN OBJECT. SHE IS MY WIFE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU MOTHERFUCKER. SO, I BETTER WARN YOU THINK THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE YOU SPEAK." I huffed angrily in front of his face letting his collar go.

-"Mr Nick! I warned you before assigning you to be the bodyguard of Y/n that don't fall in love with her. It's your mistake that you did and about thinking, I think you should think thousand times before you get into action. I am your senior. You better listen to my orders or I have many better ways to make you understand into the thick brain of yours." Agent Derek sternly said fixing his collar. "If you don't, then I have many men in this department who are better than you in permanently removing an obstacle"

-"Why kill? You can assign more men for her to protect her" I gulped nervously and angrily. I didn't know what to do. When he said that my hand itched to remove the safety from the gun and put a bullet in his head. How dare he call my wife an obstacle. She is much more than that.

-"We can't waste any men's time on useless things. Our men have many important things to do and cover-up and if you don't wanna do it, I can assign another guy for this" Derek said standing up and fixing his cufflinks.

My world visibly broke down in front of me. No, I can't let Y/n die and by other men's hands. No way! I can't. She is mine. But...

-"Tick-tock! Mr Nick! Your time is running out. Make a decision quickly" He said interrupting my thoughts.

-"I ... I will do it." I said looking at the floor trying to not cry. I bit my lower lips so hard that I could taste my blood. I wanted to punch this man.

-"Good decision Mr Nick. But I don't trust alone that's why I assigned this mission to Mace too. I hope you do your mission perfectly and don't let me down" Mr Derek shook my hands and went out.

Then after knowing Mace is my assigned partner, I came up with this plan with her. That I will poison her today but I will put a little antidote into it, so, it takes time to speed through her body and the as I know whenever something will happen to her body like any life-threatening harm, her friends are gonna be notified and also make her believe at her last moments that I hate her so that she detests me. But... But about the baby, I didn't know at all. It was never in my plan. I cried more hard thinking about the moments I spent with her. The moment I fell in love with her was when she captured my mind, my heart everything. The moment when I was writing and practising my proposal speech. The moment when we shared our first wedding kiss as husband and wife. I cried and was earning forgiveness from our unborn twins. All of this was my fault. If only I tried harder. If only, I listened to them and didn't fall in love. If only I let her go so that she could be with James. If only I wasn't selfish... She would have been safe then, she would have never felt the pain of losing her children. I cried and cried until I went unconscious blaming myself.

7 years later

Ding dong

I heard the doorbell when I was going to have another bottle of vodka. I sighed and got up from the floor to find that the pizza boy has kept the pizza on the floor. I picked it up and kept it on the table in front of the sofa. I sat down on the floor leaning on the sofa.

It has been 7 years 8 months and 4 days since the incident. Today is our anniversary day. The day which should have been my lucky day became my worst nightmare throughout these years. After the CIA came to know about the little stunt we have done and the incomplete mission, they have been searching for us. Me and Mace. Since then we have both been on run. Yes, incomplete mission! After James took Y/n, Bruce saved her. I sighed in relief at the thought. At least, she is safe with them.

Suddenly I heard the phone pinged with a message. I looked at the notification from Mace:

Family dinner at 8 PM. U should come.

I scoffed at the message. Oh yes, while we were on run, Mace found a perfect guy to settle with and have a family. I sighed at the thought that someone at least is having her dream life.

After closing the application suddenly I found the photo on the home screen of Y/n in her wedding dress with me standing beside her laughing. I caress her face in the picture. 'What an angel! Her smile is soo beautiful. Makes me wonder how she got captured in my messy life.' I smiled at the photo. I kept the phone on the table and took a sip of vodka again playing our wedding night video again.

-"Ok! So, is it working!? Yeah! I think soo, hmmm... Damn! Wow! No shit Nick, your choice is soo good. The camera's resolution is sooo good hubby!" Y/n exclaimed in excitement and I was laying on the bed.

-"Come on Y/n! Come here to your lovely hubby now." I said looking at her while she was rummaging through all the features on the camera.

-"Yeah yeah! Of course." She crawled on the bed and laid on me.

-"So, tell me, Mr Nick Fowler. Do you love Y/n's angry behaviour?" She asked

-"I do" I said feeling sleepy.

-"What about Y/n's old age look?"

-"I do"

-"What about Y/n's brattiness?"

-"I do"

-"What about Y/n's childishness? "

-"I do"

-"Ok! So what about... Mmmmmmm...hm?" Her thinking was interrupted by my light snores indicating I was already asleep.

-She sighed and said looking at the camera "Well fellows! I think the video is going to end here. Your agent Nick who is known to never fail in any mission failed before this 'Wedding night' mission started! Tch" She said slapping her forehead lightly and smiling "Who sleeps on their wedding night!?".she said laying her head on my chest and closing her eyes recording her beautiful angelic sleeping face.

While I was watching suddenly I felt my eyes going blurry. I miss her. I don't even know how is she? What she is doing? Are James and Y/n now dating? I don't know anything about her anymore. I think it's better as it is. At least she will not be in danger. As I was thinking I fell asleep thinking about Y/n laying beside me while the video was still going on. Hoping only one thing:

We will see

Each other

Again.

If not in this

Life, then,

In another.

A/n (Author's note): Ending if you are gonna forgive him or not or you are gonna end up with Bucky or not is up to you guys! But I really wanna know your view with whom you guys wanna end with though! I am scared though if u guys are gonna like it or not.

Note: Hey guys! Hope u like it. English is my second language so if there's any mistake u can inform me by messaging me privately. And PLEASE REBLOG and DON'T STEAL MY WORK. Please like and comment too so, that I can know ur guy's views. Thank u for reading guys! Have a nice day and please comment if u wanna be tagged in.

Taglist: @angstysebfan @cjand10 @medelinee @adoringsebstan @tapedeck-hearts @whelvedfeelingsstuff @sourpatchspinster @secretdreamlandmentality @queenbrownie18 @urbankaite2

@marvel-fandom23 @marvelogic @harukah2 @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @heavenhatesme @lovely-geek @justsebstan @themorningsunshine @yosoysere

#bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x dark!reader #bucky x reader #college!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barns imagine #college bucky barnes #nick fowler x woc!reader #nick fowler x y/n #nick fowler x you #nick fowler x reader #nick fowler #nick fowler imagine #nick fowler smut #the 355 #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan

[urdepressedslut]

All I know ❝part two❞

☆ Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/The Winter Soldier x OC

☆ Summary: Bucky remembers something from his time in HYDRA, who is she?

☆ Warnings: dark themes, angst, trauma, torture, self harm

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+

3 Months Later

Gasping awake, skin blue, the girl frantically looks around, forgetting where she was.. again.

She had lost track of when she saw anybody, or heard anyone for that matter. It was like everything disappeared, no noise, nothing.

It was driving her utterly insane, the missing whirring of machinery and screams of other people, everything had faded into silence. The unfamiliar sound of nothing only leaving a slight ringing in her ears, letting her hear the blood flowing through her veins.

Like others captured in HYDRA, she wasn't normal. She had undeniable one of the strongest abilities, immortality. Although, she did not heal fast. Like any other person she healed at a human rate, except death would never be an escape.

Even though her time here with others had been far from nice, she needed human interaction. She craved any touch even if it was violent. Now with her trapped in this concrete prison, she would suffer the wrath of her own mind, filled with twisted thoughts of many peoples nightmares.

She was so distressed the song had done little to comfort her, knowing punishment would be a reward for her next move, she was desperate for anything.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, she ripped her vocal chords, letting her voice bounce off the empty facility. She replayed the cry over and over, hoping someone would hear and free her from this hell.

After a moment listening for the familiar pounding steps, she heard nothing.

Letting the tears fall, she sobbed, not caring how loud she was considering she was all alone in the whole place. Screaming and crying she scratched at her arms, nails digging into her sore flesh that had yet to heal from past punishments.

Scooting closer to the wall, she began to slam her head into the concrete, not satisfied til she heard cracking, therefore she slammed it harder and harder until the black spots in her vision won and she welcomed darkness.

3 Years Later

BUCKY'S POV

Adjusting his black ball cap, he scanned the area over and over, paranoia the cause for his cautious behavior. He had been taking in and learning so much himself, unsure of new memories that came the longer he stayed hidden away.

Adjusting his backpack as well, he made sure to keep his bag with him at all times, keeping a notebook close just in case something were trigger another memory. Desperate for a normal lifestyle he could never have, he craved to one day try and have something even semi close.

Bucky walked down the street, relaxing as he came to a stop to the familiar fruit stand. Taking a close look at some clean looking plums, he exchanged some words between him and the owner. Bagging the plums for Bucky, the owner handed over the fruit with a gentle smile that he was not used to but gladly accepted, this new kindness was foreign to him.

Only after a couple steps away from the stand, Bucky got the familiar fuzz around his vision and the flashes of a memory. Squeezing his eyes shut quickly, he opened them soon after and walked to an empty alley in need of a notebook.

Scanning the area quickly he adjusted himself against the brick wall, leaning against it and pulling out a notebook quickly, as more flashes of memories came rushing.

A young girl, skin like porcelain walking close to my side facing forward with focus. I gripped her arm making sure to keep her in place, my grip slightly too tight.

Sensing movement, I glanced slightly to the girl noticing how she took in the lack of guards in the area and turned her innocent eyes into mine, catching me staring slightly.

Continuing forward she focused back to the pathway in front and spoke quietly, only for my super soldier senses to hear.

"I like your hair.. it looks super soft today."

Shocking me with her words, I stayed silent. She giggled to herself, which made my chest spark with warmth, the sound pleasing to hear in such a horrible place.

"Reminds me of a puppy.. I think I like puppies."

She trailed off, sounding unsure of what her likes and dislikes were. My chest jumped uncomfortably, a sense of unknown protectiveness rushing through me. But even though she spoke little, her words were kind..

Finishing the last word of the small confusing memory, he put his pen away and closed the book. Stashing it away with the others in his bag.

He furrowed his brows at the memory, one that was from his time at HYDRA. It was confusing, but the only other thing that disturbed him was the girl.

He couldn't remember any names, or how someone like her could even be forgotten in the first place. Bucky was shocked to remember such a angelic face in a torturous place. It pulled at his heart wondering what her fate had been, if it was quick, or if she was still..

Bucky stopped quickly, rubbing his eyes. He couldn't possibly think about the fact that the girl could still be trapped or worse.. dead.

It was unfair how many lives had been ruined and lost to HYDRA, but for some reason her face seemed to give some unknown strength to Bucky. Making him want to go back there just to answer his dreading question.

GIRL'S POV

Letting her eyelids slowly open, she took in a shaky breath. She was sure she died of starvation, again. It was maybe the 85th time? No 91.. She had no clue, all she knew was that her body was failing her, but her ability torturing her, not allowing herself to stay dead. She had lost any personality she had, she was a walking corspe. Well, crawling corspe, she hadn't stood up in.. years? She didn't know.

With a burn starting in her nose, she started to cry. Tears falling freely down her cheeks, she was tired and in pain constantly. She wanted to be free of it, she had given up long ago. She couldn't even remember the song she loved so much, a part of her dying with the loss of the memory the kept her together for so long. Letting her eyes shut, she wasn't visited by any monsters in the dark, she was truly alone, nothing reminding her of anything she was. No past, no memories. Just now.. Alone.

Using a sliver of energy that she didn't have, she sat upright and leaned against the wall. Letting her head mix with the cold of the concrete. She positioned herself, to stare at the door, hoping one day that it would open, she didn't care if they came in to drag her to the room of pain, she wanted to leave this suffocating hell.

Slowly she let herself fall into a mindless stare, keeping her eyes trained on the door, but her mind had already left her. Her eyes grew grey and cloudy, them not focusing on much, instead everything getting blurry. Her brain felt like mush. She would rot in this cell, she knew it. That thought alone brought a fresh wave of tears spilling down her cheeks. She wanted.. something but she wasn't sure what. For now she was lost in her own mind, confused at everything and anything.

She was so lost, she hadn't heard the rusted door creaking to her cell, she didn't hear the grunt.

BUCKY'S POV

The last cell he approached, was shut tight. The door seeming untouched just like the rest of the place. The little window was smeared with red, making it unable to see through. His stomach flipped, anxiety growing in his gut. Just like every other door opened, he was afraid of what to find inside, but so far they had all been empty, this could be just another haunted room.

Turning the handle with his metal arm, he twisted and grunted as the door was much harder to open than the others, but with some force and strain, he was able to pull it open. Letting his eyes adjust to the dim grimy cell, his eyes finally landed on the small figure leaning up against the wall in the right corner of the room. His heart about stopped, his body going into shock and freezing on sight. His memory, the girl.. it was her.

Taking her in immediately he noticed her unfocused eyes that were oddly on the doorway, but the way her eyes stayed cloudy, no thoughts behind them. He frowned at her sickly looking skin. But what had hurt the most to look at was the steady stream of tears flowing down her dirty cheeks, she was in pain and had been for god knows how long. The fact that she hadn't brought attention to Bucky entering the room was alarming.

He didn't know how to approach her, or what to do. He wondered why he had come here, it was a mistake. This girl wasn't his problem, he doesn't know how to take care of himself, let alone another person. Bucky recovered from those thoughts, he was here.. he had found her. Whether he liked it or not, she was his problem now. He chose to answer his dreading question ever since the memory he received.

Letting himself focus his eyes back on her, he was shocked to see that her eyes were wide and staring at him. She was crawled back further into the corner almost like she was trying to hide. Her body shook slightly, she seemed terrified and unsure of what was happening.

A/N: Thank you @foreverrandomwritings for beta reading this for me!

#Bucky Barnes imagines #Bucky Barnes x oc #marvel imagines #winter solider imagines

[buckyismybicycle]

Title: every shade of grey has left us colourblind Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers (implied) Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings: light angst, returning memories Summary: just a sad little ficlet about Bucky's POV

I was going to write some kink for @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer: "Red", but then it turned sad???

Why do I remember?

I don’t always get to see it, but the world exists out there, blank and empty, both loud and silent at the same time.

I exist in Black. Blank and empty, just in a different way.

They say that I am needed, that my work has been a gift to humanity. I knew what a gift was — there’s a memory there of soft laughter and the smell of pine needles. The warmth of a flame.

I thought I knew what humanity was, too, but they say I am wrong. I am always wrong.

And now my black bleeds into the world’s white because they command it. They want to watch the streets soaked in blood, they want the world to set itself on fire, they want the sky to break open.

The fact of the matter is: black bleeds into white, it’s simply Grey. It is the colour of death, which I bring everywhere I go. It is the colour of ash, which I tend to leave behind. But it is also the colour of your skin when you — when one falls ill. Sallow, sunken skin that stretches with each cough and pink cheeks in the aftermath. Some days you would stay so ashen, so pale, your mother would cry for you. Until one day, she was just as Grey. The skies were dull that day, when you put her in the ground — when you laid her to rest underneath a tombstone as grey as the sky above.

Grey is too peaceful. It is soft, quiet mourning.

What they want is Red. What they want is violence — a fight, blood, bullets and fists, blood, red. Blood.

I don’t want the same Red. The red I remember falls in waves around a porcelain face, brushing against pale shoulders. I called her sparrow — my red sparrow, whose wings were so delicate in my arms that I knew I had to make her strong. Stronger than the others, so that one day she might fly free.

Instead, I shot her. I killed my precious sparrow because they demanded it.

This is why I am Black. There is no light inside me, no room for the other colours, only shadows and sorrow. Only the black hole in my mind, swallowing everything into nothing.

Could I ever be empty of this poison that lives inside me? Could I ever drain this black ichor from my veins and make room for something anew?

Could I become the White I wish to be – a blank slate, recrystallizing into an immaculate stretch of marble to be sought after? I remember, once upon a time, when someone made me feel durable and timeless. Beautiful.

Or would I simply become the clouds above that turn to storms, or a blizzard that obscure your vision? A hindrance.

Even snow cannot stay white around me; I remember the streak of blood upon the powdery ground as I was carried away, further and further away from you. The white was fitting then, the terror I felt as I fell, the emptiness I felt as the train carried on with you on board.

Blackness found me long before I became… This. When I woke, the first snowflake that hit my cheeks reminded me of your tears and when I opened my eyes, I only saw blue above me.

“Bucky?” You used to wake before me. Staring down at me with sapphire eyes while the pinks and oranges of the early morning illuminated your face. I remember.

I remember you, the man on the bridge. I remember this colour.

Yes. Of all the colours I have lived and seen, the blue of your eyes was always my favourite.

#stucky #steve/bucky #bucky x steve #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #hotbuckysummer2023 #HBS Week 11

[lilyevanstan1325]

🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Epilogue

Amaya POV

I look at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall and a sigh escapes my lips.

I go over to the sink and set out to prepare lunch.

I grab a long knife and start slicing the onion to prepare the sauté for my famous ragù.

Bucky and the boys love it.

While in thought I slice the onion my gaze falls on my left hand.

Wrapped around my ring finger, a simple black vibranium ring gleams, as black as my sergeant's arm.

I shake my head smiling.

In the end we did it, Bucky and I got married a year ago.

It was a very intimate celebration.

It was just us Avengers, His Majesty T’Challa with his family and the man who has been my family for the last twenty years.

Nick Fury.

We said yes in front of the lake, the same lake in front of which Bucky had asked me to marry him many years before and I had refused.

But over the years we have grown, we have changed.

And we understood, I understood that this was our path.

It was one of the best days of our life.

Nick accompanied me under a small arch of flowers that served as an altar, none of us wore elegant clothes.

We weren't going to be ourselves.

I advanced on Nick's arm wearing my simple white silk knee length dress.

Barefoot.

As I've always dreamed of.

I still remember the pleasant sensation of the grass tickling my feet.

Bucky was waiting for me with his chest swollen with pride and his eyes full of tears.

He was really breathtakingly beautiful.

The hair that now brushed his shoulders was gathered in a messy bun that touched the base of his neck.

He wore baggy white linen trousers with a short-sleeved shirt of the same fabric and color.

When I reached him we fixed ourselves in the eyes and he, like me, dissolved in tears.

Nat obviously was my bridesmaid and Steve was Bucky's best man, we could never have chosen otherwise.

And so wrapped in the sunset sky of Wakanda and the love of our dearest friends, we exchanged promises of eternal love.

I look up at the clock again.

Damn.

I must hurry.

It's almost noon and Bucky will be home in a few minutes.

Yes, home.

In the end we did that too.

We bought the house that he dreamed of so much and we filled it with our beloved Alpine, with our two dogs Thunder and Dodger and with...

A patter of footsteps approaches behind me followed immediately after by the ticking of small paws that resound on the parquet.

“Mommy!Mommy!" yells his little voice behind me.

A beaming smile spreads across my lips as I grab a towel to dry my hands and turn in the direction of that delightful voice.

"What's going on Nick?" I ask, bending over my knees, lowering myself to his height.

I observe my beautiful baby in raptures.

Nicholas Michael Barnes.

Yeah…in the end I did that too.

For a moment I get lost in the memories of that day.

I hadn't succeeded.

I hadn't been able to do it.

In the exact moment that Dr. Miller had made me listen to the loud sound of his heart, I realized how screwed I was.

Moments before starting the abortion procedure I burst into tears and asked the doctor to stop.

I could not.

That tiny creature was my baby.

And I felt alone for so long that I couldn't do it, in front of me I had the possibility of having a family.

I, Bucky and I would have been the family for this child.

The same family that was unjustly taken from me.

When Bucky walked into the room and found me in tears he ran to hug me.

His words still ring loud and full of love in my ears.

"I take care of you.Forever.But please don't cry my love.Everything will be fine, I promise you.I will always be on your side no matter what.You are my home and my family" he whispered in my ear as I was dying of anxiety over the decision I had made.

Terrified of the idea of failing.

Scared that Bucky would complain.

And he did.

We have been discussing this for weeks.

"Bucky please stop" I whispered wearily one afternoon after we returned to the Avengers Tower from a follow-up ultrasound.

“I know you think I did it just for you, so as not to lose you...but that's not the case.I'll be honest with you.If the doctor hadn't given me that ultrasound that day, if I hadn't heard his heartbeat, I would have aborted without any hesitation" I told him looking him straight in the eye.

"But when I felt his heart beating I realized that I would never forgive myself" I continued approaching him who in the meantime remained sitting motionless at the edge of the bed.

I sat on his lap and tied my arms around his neck.

“Maybe this baby will be my lifeline.It will be my atonement for every sin.It will be our chance to leave something good in this world” I whispered on his lips.

He had smiled shyly and then closed me in his strong embrace.

And now here I am.

Watching this wonder that Bucky and I created.

Nicholas is a smart and intelligent kid, he looks a lot like his father both physically and in character.

His beautiful face is fringed with short, unkempt black hair but his eyes are just like mine.

Greens.

Green like two emeralds.

"Mommy?" my baby repeats to me, placing his little hands on my face.

"I'm sorry honey, mom got lost in her thoughts" I reply sitting on the floor cross-legged and making Nick sit on my lap.

"What were you thinking about?" he asks me tilting his head to the side and observing me intensely, just like his father does every time he studies me trying to understand what is going through my head.

"I thought how much I love you" I whisper kissing his head and holding him to my chest.

"What did you ask me my love?" I ask him.

"When is dad coming home?" he asks me pouting adorable.

Pout that I kiss promptly earning a loud yuck from him.

I laugh in ecstasy.

"Dad will be here in a minute" I reply and his eyes light up with joy.

Nick loves his father.

Impatient I sigh.

After five days I will finally be able to hug my beautiful Sergeant again.

He had to leave with Steve and Sam for a representative visit to colleagues from the English division of S.H.I.E.L.D. and as deputy director he certainly could not miss it.

Job that Steve had proposed to me with joy, sure that I had accepted and that instead I gladly gave in to Bucky.

“Bucky and I are going to have a baby.I prefer to be a full-time mother.If that is not a problem director Rogers”

With these exact words I refused his offer.

Refusal that obviously was welcomed with great joy by everyone.

The right decision I could ever make.

Watching Nick grow up and being able to follow him in every stage of his life was of fundamental importance for me, for my mental health.

It was not easy to raise a child with my problems but in the end with the help of Bucky and all our friends I made it.

I found my way to be a mother, a good mother.

A noise of tires in the driveway catches our attention.

Alpine immediately jumps onto the windowsill while Dodger and Thunder run like mad towards the front door.

"Daddy is home!" Nick exclaims with a scream.

I smile at his enthusiasm.

"Yeah, daddy is home" I repeat as I stand up and together with Nick, holding hands, we approach the front door.

The dogs jump happily while waiting impatiently for their owner to cross the threshold of the house.

Nick watches the driveway through the curtain and begins to jump for joy.

"Uncle Sam is there too!Uncle Sam is there too!" he yells giggling.

I take a few steps back with my arms crossed in front of my chest.

I too am impatient to jump into his arms but let our baby be the first to do it.

The door opens and Bucky is literally hit by three small hurricanes, finding himself with his ass on the floor.

"Daddy!Daddy!You're finally home!You're finally home!” Nick keeps repeating as his arms are wrapped around his father's neck.

Thunder and Dodger wag their tails excitedly licking Bucky's face non-stop.

Bucky's laughter fills the air and my heart swells with joy.

This is one of those images that will forever remain etched in the memory.

My husband's crystalline and joyful gaze lifts up to meet my eyes.

In the meantime, Sam makes his entrance and smiling, he approaches me hugging me.

“What a good smell Snow!I'm starving” Sam exclaims once our embrace is released.

“I cooked  your favorite one” I exclaim proudly.

“Oh really?Tagliatelle with ragu?"

I nod in response and earn another hug.

“Hey Wilson!Hands off my wife” Bucky's voice exclaims behind me.

Finally he managed to get up from the floor and while holding Nick with one arm, with his free hand he approaches the windowsill to leave a caress on Alpine's head too shy and haughty to join the fray a little while ago.

He approaches with a sure-footed step making my heartbeat skyrocket.

After so many years this man is still able to destabilize me with just his gaze.

Sam lets me go laughing and going to meet Bucky takes Nick from his arms.

"Hi champion!How is my beautiful nephew?" Sam asks him hugging him tightly.

Nick laughs and wraps his slender arms around his neck.

"Hi Uncle Sam!" he exclaims between laughter.

Bucky wraps his strong arms around my waist pulling me hard against his firm body.

“I missed you Mrs. Barnes” he whispers on my lips.

And then without even giving me the time to reciprocate the greeting he pounces hungry on my lips.

His tongue slides smoothly into my mouth, stroking mine with infinite sweetness.

I moan softly in his mouth, aware that our son is just a few steps away from us.

Bucky slowly pulls away from my lips leaving me stunned and ecstatic.

“Save this for tonight doll” he whispers in my ear.

"Yes sir" I reply with a sensual wink.

I look around at Sam who is watching us with a raised eyebrow.

“Thank goodness Nick is still too little and he can't understand.Instead, you will have to pay me for years of psychoanalysis” he reproaches us, making Bucky roll his eyes.

"Let's go guys!Wash your hands and let's sit at the table” I exclaim smiling as I approach Sam and playfully push him.

Once we are all at the table, amidst laughter and old anecdotes, the lunch comes to an end.

Bucky leans back in his chair, sated and entranced by the food.

Sam imitates him by closing his eyes and throwing his head back.

"Snow, you are a woman to marry" he murmurs with a sly smile.

Bucky appears to be on the verge of answering him but Nick takes everyone by surprise.

“Mum belongs to dad.Nobody can marry her.Only him” he replies as he sits on the floor and continues to stroke Thunder.

We all burst out laughing.

"This is my boy!" Bucky exults leaning towards him and kissing his head.

Sam and Bucky start chatting to each other again and I feel fear starting to curl around my guts.

My hands tremble slightly and to distract myself I get up and start clearing the table.

“Leave it alone, doll.I'll do it” Bucky tells me.

But before he can get up, I push him back into the chair.

I respond by shaking my head.

"I do it.And then there is still the dessert" I tell him trying to hide the anxiety as best I can.

Bucky looks at me closely but says nothing.

He's probably saving the questions for when we're alone.

Sam looks at me skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"Since when have you been able to make desserts?Am I wrong or the last time you tried it you were going to set the kitchen on fire?" he asks me exchanging an amused look with Bucky.

They both laugh out loud.

In response, I throw him a napkin, taking him full in the face.

"Idiots.And anyway I bought it" I answer piqued.

They have the point.

Unfortunately it's true.

I manage in the kitchen but when it comes to desserts I become incompetent.

I open the fridge and take out a white box closed with a red ribbon and place it right in front of Bucky.

He looks at me confused.

"Do I have to open it?" he asks as Nick approaches intrigued sitting on his father's lap.

I nod unable to speak, at the moment I don't trust my own voice.

I'm too upset.

Bucky smiles at me and with his son's help they untie the red bow together.

The box opens to reveal a large cupcake.

Sam looks confused and amused at the same time.

Bucky smiles and looks at me as if he's looking for a clue from me on what to do.

"Oh c’mon!Cut that cupcake in half” I urge him.

My foot begins to drum nervously on the floor.

Bucky grabs the large cupcake in his hands and breaks it in half, immediately realizing that there is something inside.

"What is dad?" Nick asks while Bucky grabs the object that until a moment ago was hidden in the cupcake.

He watches it for a few moments and then realizes.

Sam sitting next to him gives him a couple of pats on the back with a toothy smile.

Bucky for his part continues to observe the pacifier that he holds between his fingers.

He doesn't speak.

He doesn't smile.

It looks like a pillar of salt.

"James please say something" I whisper with my heart beating madly.

Its roar rings impetuously in my ears.

And then suddenly Bucky sinks his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking with little sobs.

We are all stunned for a moment, even Nick seems to be frightened by his father's reaction.

Sam immediately understanding the situation gets up.

“Hey buddy I left a present for you in the car.Would you like to accompany me to get it?"

My son's eyes light up immediately and jumping off his father's legs he dives into his uncle's arms.

Sam smiles at me briefly and after giving Bucky another pat on the back he comes out of the kitchen disappearing from my view.

I get up immediately and join my husband.

I sit on his laps forcing him to free his face from the grip of his hands.

"You're pregnant?" he asks me in shock even though he knows the answer very well.

I nod and his shining eyes fill with tears again.

"Do you want to keep it?" he asks me hesitantly avoiding my gaze carefully.

"James?" I call him softly as I brush a lock of hair from his forehead.

His beautiful blue eyes are fixed on mine.

He looks almost scared.

“And do you think I would have spent seven dollars on a stupid cupcake?You know how much I hate this fuss but I wanted to do something nice for you.At least for this time..." I whisper, thinking back to how chaotic the discovery of Nicholas' existence was.

Bucky smiles at my statement.

"How the hell did this happen again?" he asks wrapping his arms around my hips.

"I don't know" I admit laughing.

"Call it fate, karma...I don't know but it happened.The pill failed again" I reply with a shrug.

We are both silent for a few minutes.

“Are you sure Amaya?I don't want you to feel compelled.Didn't you say you were thinking of going back to work?" he asks me.

I sigh.

“Yes, I had thought about it but I don't feel like it.I have spent most of my life between death and pain and now I am tired.I'll always be an Avengers and if the world needs me I'll always be there but for now, as long as possible, I'd rather stay home and take care of you, Nicholas and this baby" I murmur, touching my belly with my fingertips.

Bucky's hand overlaps mine, caressing our sweet treasure with me.

“This time I'm ready James, I'm more ready than I was for Nick.I mean, look at him” I tell him, nodding at Nick who is playing on the large carpet in the living room with Sam.

“He is a healthy and intelligent child.He is happy.In the end I think we are doing a good job” I add smiling.

"You did a great job Amaya"

I cut him off immediately shaking my head vigorously.

"We have.You and me”

Bucky's smile widens.

"Maybe it will be a girl this time" he murmurs, kissing my lips softly.

I smile at the thought.

We both hug enthusiastically and excited about this new adventure.

Sam, holding Nick in his arms, joins us again.

His eyes scan the whole situation and his tense gaze relaxes and gives us one of his most beautiful smiles.

"So...can I congratulate you?" he asks, unable to stop smiling.

“Yeah Sam.We'll have another baby” Bucky exclaims, releasing a laugh full of joy mixed with tension.

I get up from his legs and take my baby in my arms so that the two men can hug.

“You know, soon you will be a big brother.You know what that means?" I ask, turning to Nick who looks at me with his serious eyes, so deep that they seem to conceal the secrets of the universe.

He shakes his adorable little head.

“It means you'll have a little brother.Or a little sister” Bucky intervenes, ruffling his hair with one hand.

Nick seems to be thinking about it, he thinks about it carefully.

And then he asks his question.

“How can a baby be inside your belly?Have you eaten it?"

I smile sweetly at his words.

He is only four years old so I have to find the most suitable way to explain it to him.

"Well...your dad put it there" I try to explain to him, remaining vague.

Bucky laughs but I shut him up quickly with an elbow in the stomach.

"And how did he do it?"

Ok.

Nicholas is an extremely curious child and now his questions will come in flurry until he is truly satisfied with our answers.

"You know what my love?" I tell him looking him in the eye and passing it back to Sam.

Sam grabs Nick and gives me a fiery look.

“Uncle Sam will explain how babies are made and how babies born” I add.

Sam begins to sweat.

Bucky continues to laugh unable to stop.

"Now my husband and I are going up to the terrace to relax a bit so you can talk between men" I tease Sam.

"Don't you dare Snow" he threatens me but I don't look at him and grabbing Bucky by the hand, who now laughs with tears in his eyes, I drag him up until we reaches our small terrace overlooking the wonderful New York skyline.

"You will pay for this!" Sam yells behind us.

Then we hear him stammering nonsense phrases addressed to our son.

Once we reach the terrace we sit on the fire escape, as we did when we lived at the Avengers Tower.

"We'll have to buy a bigger house" Bucky sighs happily.

“Yep.I think we'll be a bit tight here" I assert giggling.

Bucky's Vibranium arm wraps around my shoulders and his free hand rests delicately on my belly.

I smile at his sweet gesture.

"I never imagined this life for us in the least" I whisper, continuing to scan the horizon.

"I know" Bucky whispers in response.

"Are you repentant?" he asks.

"No" I reply quickly, one hundred percent sure of my answer.

"I love you.I love this new life of mine.Of course I didn't think in the least that I would end up being a full-time mother and wife and if you had asked me years ago...I would have laughed in your face and sent you to hell but now, now I can't imagine a life where I'm not your wife.A life without Nicholas.A life without this baby who has yet to be born.I told you this many years ago at the beginning of our history and I repeat it to you now.You are my most beautiful mistake Barnes”

Bucky smiles at me bringing his big hands to my face, his thumbs rubbing the skin of my cheekbones.

His clear and mesmerizing eyes point to my lips that open automatically at the thought of what is to come.

Bucky's thumb rubs my bottom lip and then he lowers to my lips kissing me softly.

"You too are my most beautiful mistake Snow"

We remain hugged in silence.

"You know...I don't know what life has in store for us yet but I'm happy to be able to pass it next to you James" I whisper catching his attention.

“You already know.It's the same for me.You and our children are enough for me to be able to live in peace”

We spend the next few minutes exchanging tender effusions and sweet words of love.

Sam joins us about half an hour later.

He has two beers with him, hands one to Bucky and keeps the other for himself.

"I hate you.Both” he murmurs, letting himself fall between my husband and me.

"Did he wear you out with his questions?" Bucky asks with a chuckle as he sips his beer.

“That child is stubborn but in the end he let himself be convinced by the story of the seed that dad plants in his mother's womb.Bees and flowers didn't work.Now he is sleeping and I have laid him down in his bed” he explains with a sigh of resignation.

I shake my head in amusement.

Ours will certainly not be a normal family but I love it for what it is.

A totally and beautiful mess.

Bucky POV

My phone rings right in the middle of a meeting.

I usually turn it off or silence it but not in the last few days.

By now Amaya has reached the end of the ninth month and at any moment she could be born.

She is a girl.

I smile for a moment thinking of my little princess who very soon I will hold in my arms.

All heads turn in my direction and I feel so agitated and under pressure that when I go to grab the phone from my trouser pocket it slips from my hands and hits the floor with a thud.

"Shit!" I exclaim at the height of my agitation because suddenly the phone stops ringing.

"Barnes relax" exclaims Tony, chuckling but before I can answer another sound fills the air around us.

I look around confused.

Steve's phone rings.

With much more calm and confidence he takes it out of his jacket pocket and checks the display.

“It's Amaya” he murmurs in a worried voice.

"Shit!" I exclaim again extending my hand to Steve who is promptly handing me the phone.

I reply immediately.

“Hey doll!What happens?"

My wife's high, stern voice almost pierces my eardrum.

"Where the hell is your phone?" she asks indeed screams so loud that anyone in the room can hear her.

"I'm sorry, I was about to answer but it fell..."

"Idiots my waters broke" she interrupts me promptly.

I jump in the air throwing the chair backwards.

"Ok.Keep calm.Where are you?Where is Nicholas?" I ask while mentally I am already organizing how to proceed.

I hear a whine coming from the other end of the line and then following Amaya's hoarse voice.

“Fury is in our house with the kid.I am with Nat and we have just arrived in the hospital parking lot" she murmurs as I believe that what is a contraction makes her last words die on her lips.

"Why didn't you call me earlier?" I ask her as I look around.

For a moment I feel confused and don't know what to do.

Sam, Steve, and everyone else listens to the conversation carefully.

“Because I only had a little pain and Natasha convinced me to go for a checkup.But while we were on our way my waters broke.Now we are about to reach acceptance.Move your ass Barnes!" she yells at me then she hangs up the phone.

I remain motionless for a couple of seconds.

"Therefore?" Tony asks bringing me back to reality.

I shake my head and feel a beaming smile spread across my lips.

“Amaya broke the waters.She is already in the hospital.I have to go" I exclaim on the verge of excitement.

I will soon meet my little princess.

"We have to go!" Tony exclaims getting up and leading everyone out of the meeting room.

Steve, Sam and I get into the latter's SUV.

Better that way...

I'm so excited that at this moment I don't even remember how to articulate a meaningful sentence, let alone if I could drive.

Tony and Pepper are following us in another car.

My heart beats madly and my foot patters rhythmically.

“Don't worry pal!We'll be there in time" Steve exclaims, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.

"I know man" I sigh.

“I know I'll be there in time...it's just that I wish I could be there with her during.I don't know if you understand” I murmur.

“Amaya needs me.And I need to be with her”

Steve's baby blue eyes burn in mine.

"I know it.Hold on” he tries to reassure me with a smile.

Smile that I reciprocate.

As soon as we arrive I rush into the glass entrance doors and I see Natasha in the distance.

“Barnes you are about to miss it.Hurry up!She's in room 325”

Natasha looks a lot more agitated than me.

“Ok!Thanks!Call Fury and tell him to bring Nick here” I scream behind me as I head to room 325 at breakneck speed.

As soon as I walk through the door, the first thing I notice is Amaya.

She is wearing a white short sleeved nightgown.

She is bent forward with her hands resting on the bed.

She is breathing slowly as a small whine escapes her lips.

And even if she is sweaty, exhausted and in pain, she is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Her eyes immediately fall into mine.

"James" she murmurs almost on the verge of tears.

"Everything is fine.I'm here” I whisper to her as I approached her and stroked her lower back.

“You've been there once before and you were amazing.You'll make it again doll” I whisper to her as I grab a scrunchie from the top of the bedside table and pull her hair into a high ponytail.

Thus releasing her sweaty forehead.

"Have you already asked for an epidural?" I ask, continuing to massage her back while Amaya takes a breath between contractions.

I see her nod her head.

"Yes.The nurse told me that she would go to call the doctor to have it checked and then they would contact the anesthetist" she murmurs wearily.

"How do you feel robin?" I ask her while I help her to sit down.

“Compared to when I gave birth Nick, the contractions are much stronger and I think I'm almost there” she says scared.

I embrace her trying to infuse her with all my love and courage.

The door opens and Dr. Jones, Amaya's gynecologist, walks in.

"Doctor finally!" Amaya sighs in relief as soon as she sees her.

The doctor smiles at her, she is the same doctor who gave birth to Nicholas and for this new pregnancy we have entrusted ourselves to her again.

"Mrs. Barnes lies down and let's see how you do" the doctor chirps cheerfully.

Amaya lies down and I stand by her side, holding her hand.

"Ok Amaya I have good news and bad news for you"

She says it smiling and she leaves us blown away for a moment.

"What's the bad one?" I ask hastily with my heart in my mouth.

"The bad news is that we can't do the epidural Amaya"

"Why?" Amaya exclaims pulling herself up on her elbows, observing the doctor with a murderous gaze.

I try to calm her by squeezing her hand even more.

"Here comes the good news" she replies, smiling and ignoring Amaya's gaze.

"I can already see her head" she adds.

Amaya opens and closes her mouth a few times before finding her voice and muttering a faint "What does that mean?"

“It means that in a few minutes you will be holding your baby in your arms.Come on Amaya!You already know what to do.Push when you feel the contraction coming, ok?" the doctor urges her while in the meantime the nurse who had entered with her and who until now had remained silent approaches the doctor and begins to help her put on another gown and a mask.

“Ok Amaya.Let's start” the doctor urges her.

And my beautiful robin begins to push.

Her hand holds mine tightly.  She doesn't scream, she doesn't swear.

No movie scenes.

She just grits her teeth and pushes whenever a contraction comes.

My woman is strong.

And she is demonstrating far more strength than she had for the birth of our first baby.

“Come on Amaya.Her head is out.Now take a last big breath and push as hard as you can”

Amaya nods and turns to me and smiles at me.

In the midst of all that pain she finds the strength to smile at me.

My eyes are full of tears now.

"I love you" she whispers.

"I love you too robin" I answer her, stroking her sweaty forehead.

Then she goes back to observe the doctor and with the next contraction she pushes with all her strength.

She grits her teeth with the effort and after a few seconds a cry fills our ears.

My vision is blurred by the tears that now flow free on my face.

"You were very good my love!You did it!" I whisper to her as I kiss her forehead.

The doctor places the baby on Amaya's chest.

A sob bursts from our lips as soon as we see her for the first time.

She is so small.

Her skin is white as milk and on her head a tuft of red hair makes a fine show of itself.

I smile through the tears.

"She has red hair" I exclaim and Amaya laughs with joy.

She holds her tight to her chest, smiling with immense love.

“Welcome to the world little Winifred Madison Barnes” she whispers as she kisses her forehead.

We decided that she would bear the names of our mothers, two strong women who have meant a lot in our life.

The first to enter the room are Fury and Nicholas.

Fury approaches the bed with a sure-footed step while holding Nick in his arms who, curiously, leans forward to see what is hidden under the pink cover that his mother holds in her arms with such care.

Fury leans towards Amaya kissing her forehead, the two exchange a look full of love and unspoken words.

“Sit here” Amaya whispers as she claps her hand on the bed beside her.

Nick smiles hesitantly.

“Put me down grandpa” he whispers in a low voice as if he already knew he should speak more delicately in the presence of her little sister.

Fury leans towards the bed and makes him sit up.

Nick carefully observes her little sister, his eyes as green and bewitching as those of her mother scrutinize every little detail with attention.

Fury and I look at each other for a moment and then return our gaze to the scene that is unfolding in front of us.

Amaya continues to keep her gaze glued to Nick who reaches out his hand to his little sister and caresses her cheek.

Her eyes open revealing a blue of the same shade as a summer sky.

Just like my eyes.

Nick chuckles quickly withdrawing his hand.

“She is soft.And tiny” he chuckles again.

We laugh with him.

"What is her name?" he asks curiously.

“Winifred Madison.But you can call her Winnie or Maddie.You can choose the one you like best” I reply trying to make him participate in the choice.

"I like Maddie" he murmurs after thinking about it for a few moments.

"Yes, I like it too" I encourage him with a smile.

Amaya's eyes light up and fill with tears.

I know that she is thinking of her mother.

And Fury understands that too.

"She would have been proud of you" he tells her with a voice broken by emotion.

Fury knew Michael and Maddie well and for the past twenty years he had taken and continues to take care of Amaya as if she were his daughter.

Towards Nick he has always behaved like a loving grandfather.

And I'm sure it will be the same with the little Maddie.

“I'll leave you alone for a moment.I'll tell the others to wait another ten minutes before entering” Fury whispers and then leaves a kiss on Amaya's forehead and one on Maddie's forehead.

Then he turns to Nick.

"See you in a few minutes champion" he tells him after stroking his hair.

We observe each other carefully and then I hold out my hand, a hand that he grasps and squeezes strongly.

“Thanks Fury.For everything”

He shakes his head, barely smiling.

His big dark eye stares intently at me.

“Thank you for giving me a family” he says in his deep voice.

After that he turns his back on us and walks away.

"Do you want to hold your little sister in your arms?" Amaya asks him.

Nick nods with a toothy grin.

He positions himself well on the bed and with our help he supports his little sister.

"Do you like her?" I ask him.

He nods forcefully, unable to take his eyes off Maddie.

I walk away for a moment and grab my phone to take a picture to capture this wonderful moment.

I thought it would never be possible to love anyone other than Amaya but then Nicholas was born and I had to see my thinking again.

My heart has increased size to contain all the extra love that came from the knowledge that I would become a father.

And now with Maddie's birth my heart could burst with all the love it contains.

In the next two hours Natasha, Steve, Sam and all the others compete to keep Maddie in their arms but always being careful not to miss Nick's attention.

Stark and Pepper keep telling Nick how important the role of big brother is.

All around us is laughter and love and frankly this is beyond any expectation I had of how I would live my life.

Seeing Steve playing with my children gives me an immense sense of joy, seeing my brother rejoice for me and with me is priceless.

Seeing Amaya happy is all I've ever wanted for her.

Nick and Maddie, these children, are my revenge against this life that until now has done nothing but take from me everything I had loved.

Today I can say it out loud.

God does not hate me and I am finally grateful to him for every breath he allows me to exhale on this earth.

I finally feel alive.

And to my great chagrin we have come to the end to this story.

Writing about Bucky and Amaya was really exciting!

I cried and laughed with them as if it wasn't me writing but as if they were telling me their story.

Thanks to all those who followed me in silence and to those who encouraged me.

Thanks for your support and for loving this story.

I am happy to have reached so many hearts and this I swear to you is always my main goal.

I write to reach you.

To convey my own emotions to you and if I succeeded then I know it was worth it.

If you liked my story, keep following me, help me make it grow and make it known to as many people as possible.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Bucky, Amaya, Nick and Maddie thank you for all the love you have shown them.

Thank you, thank you and thank you again!

Please comment, share and rate ❤️

Taglist

🔥 Masterlist 🔥

@deansapplepie

#marvel #sebastianstan #bucky barnes #bucky #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction recommendation #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter soldier #winter soldier fanfiction #dangerousgame

[buckybarnesdiaries]

i won't let you down

© @snyderzack

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Bucky helps you and gives you hope.

word count: 1.196 words.

warnings/tags: very brief mention of domestic violence, the winter soldier coming to help you.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

BUCKY POV

It was the fourth month he was living in the same building as you, concretely, in the apartment next to yours. Since the very first moment you met in the lift, you were extra kind with him and he couldn’t help but think that you were hiding some kind of intentions, until the days passed away and he discovered it was part of your naturality. He remembered, as if it happened yesterday, the first morning he knocked on your door asking for some coffee and you practically invited him to have breakfast together. You two talked about your part-time job in a cafeteria by morning, close to the neighborhood, and another one in a book shop by evenings. Bucky was fascinated by how much you used the hours of your days, letting you work out and have long walks in Central Park.

And he also remembered the night you knocked on his door for the first time, after hearing him having some nightmares and not being able to go back to sleep. The walls seemed like thin paper. He didn’t get it out of his head that time he heard you crying in your room, in the small hours, after a fight with your boyfriend. A punk who didn’t deserve an angel like you. On all the occasions you two argued, Bucky wanted to intervene, but he didn’t because what was his right.

Until a night where the heated talk escalated too quickly to swearings coming from him, and a painful scream coming from your lips after a loud hit. Bucky kicked the door down without doubting, panting furious and breaking into your apartment like a bat out of hell. As soon as he reached the living room and saw you crying and lying on the floor, all his rage contained during months got concentrated on the same point. Five cold fingers closing in a big and dangerous fist.

“Who the fuck are you?” Your boyfriend spat raving mad.

“A guy who’s gonna disappoint his therapist for breaking rule number two”. The soldier hissed, not giving time to the other to react.

With his left hand grabbing your boyfriend’s throat, Bucky pinned him to the nearest wall with so much uncontrollable strength that he almost opened a hold in it, straight to his own house.

“Listen to me now, you son of a bitch”. Their faces were separated barely for a couple of inches, drinking each other’s breathing. “If I see you coming again, laying a finger on her… I promise I’ll turn your life into a damn nightmare”.

Bucky could see the horror borning in his eyes when your boyfriend recognized him. That voice. Those blue orbs. The metallic fingers cutting off the air from his lungs. He was in the news for a long time. The Winter Soldier. One of those freaks with superpowers, with the difference that he was a trained assassin. Only a fool wouldn’t obey his threat. But for some reason, Bucky wasn’t able to loosen the hold around the other man, driven by the desire he had for killing him. After all the suffering he made you go through, after all the nights hearing you crying, after all the time waiting for your boyfriend to change. He wanted to end his life.

“Bu— Bucky”. Your weak sobs brought him back to reality. To New York. To the year twenty twenty-one. To the new century.

As if it was an automatic act, his fingers opened making your boyfriend fall to the floor. Coughing, choking with his own saliva and the lack of air. The poor coward ran away before Bucky could blink twice. Shaking his head to shut up the voices inside his head claiming him to chase the man, he turned around and squatted next to you. A thin thread of blood poured out from the upper right corner of your lip, as your cheek was burning in pain after the punch. The soldier held you onto his arms, listening to the sound of the police sirens coming. Probably some neighbor called them, fed up with the fights inside your house.

You were crying inconsolably and ashamed when he walked into his apartment, placing you with so much care on his sofa. Bucky didn’t utter a syllable, heading to his bathroom to take something to fix you up. He had a good medical kit since he didn’t want to visit any kind of hospital. Coming back to you, the soldier knelt next to you, feeling a knot inside his chest pressing out his skin. He wetted a cotton in hydrogen peroxide and placed his warm free hand on your untouched cheek to urge you to raise your head towards him. You couldn’t help but draw a grimace of pure soreness that broke his heart in one million pieces.

“Sorry…” Bucky murmured, earning your look filled up with sadness. “I, uh… I wanted to… So many times, I…”

“Thank you… for saving me”. You stuttered in low tears, while he continued healing your lip and cleaning the blood on it. “You’re a… good man, James”.

“I just did what I had to”.

“We’re… more than fifty persons living here… And you’ve been the one who has saved me”.

Knocks on his door interrupted your little chat, causing him to frown as the two of you heard it was the NYPD. Bucky left a delicate caress on your cheek before standing up and attending the call. The cops came into his house without asking if they could, knowing very well the man who was living there.

“Ma’am, you okay?” One of the officers inquired walking closer.

“Yeah, it was… I just… slip off to the fl—”. Tell them about your, now, ex-boyfriend wasn’t an option for you, feigning a soft chuckle as you cleaned the tears in your eyelids.

“His boyfriend hit her”. But Bucky interrupted you.

“And you helped her, mister Barnes?”

“Yeah, and she’s gonna make a complaint”.

That wasn’t an option for you either, but by the look coming from his eyes, you knew it was the only one for him. You couldn’t persuade him.

“Ma’am?”

Bucky licked his bottom lip, shortening the distance between both to grab his cozy and baggy black hoodie to offer it to you. He was determined to help you. He really wanted your welfare.

“C’mon”. He almost begged you in a whisper, shaking briefly his hand holding the piece of clothing to convince you of taking the good road. “I’ll be with you, I promise. I won’t let you down… Not again”.

It took you a couple of seconds to nod your head, getting up from his sofa being helped by the cold hand showing up. Bucky made you wear his hoodie, with so much careless to not touch your right cheek still burning because of the pain. Under the attentive look of the cops, he placed his flesh arm over your shoulders, not caring about the lack of distance when you clung yours around his waist and tried to hide your face on his chest. For the first time since you started that toxic relationship, you felt safe. You felt liberated.

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #the winter soldier x reader

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

BBM BABY- J B. BARNES

Pairing: 70s!BestFriend!Bucky x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2760

Summary: its the rockin 70s and you and the gang have a night out, feelings may or may not get exposed;)

Warnings: drugs and booze ( its the 70s hellooo), kissing, fluff, pet names, swearing

Note** this was inspired by the song “BBM Baby” by Lana Del Rey ( unreleased) check it out on youtube!! i wrote this A WHILEE BACK so i am so sorry if its bad! i had more written, smutty goodness, but because I sorta didnt fully finish it i didnt include it in. part 2 anyone? where claire gets inspo again and finishes the dirty smut? LOL ENJOY! -claire

** i love the name dawn so i used that instead of y/n.. you can always change it if you so please!

DAWNS POV

“ Dawn I swear to god puff my blunt one more time you will not live to see Bucky puking all over your mom’s new couch tomorrow morning.'' Steve exclaimed, rolling his eyes and leaning his head back against the cool brick outside the bowling alley. “ Excuse me??” Bucky looked over from beside you to eye him suspiciously. “ There will be no puking involved Stevie. this is not my first rodeo.” Steve matched his stare over the top of your head. “ Cmon now Stevieeeee” you drawled on as Steve rolled his eyes, smirking down at you. “It's not Buck's first rodeo... It’s his third!” you snorted, taking another hit of the freshly rolled joint Steve had prepared for himself. You just happened to have stolen it and had zero intention of giving it back. “ Peaches did you just fucking snort?!” Bucky cackled, throwing his head back. “ So what if I did, hmm? You're gonna arrest me?” “ Ok that’s it, you’re cut off you  fuckin lightweight,” said Steve leaning over to take the blunt from your small fingers. “ HEY!!” you shrieked, stumbling up. Woah. the whole world was spinning a million miles an hour. You giggled. “ You'll have to come get me first!” you yelled, attempting to sprint across the parking lot, unable to do so because of your fucked up condition. “ Oh my god that girl will be the death of me” Steve rolled his eyes. “ You totally kicked her ass at bowling, man. Peaches is just upset she can’t throw a ball to save her life.” Bucky exclaimed, staring you down as you looked back at the boys. “Mmm,” Steve said, his high starting to kick in from the blunt Buck passed him. “ Go get her for me eh Buck? She’s too much of a handful for me right now.” Steve laughed. Bucky laughed and stood up, using the brick wall for support. You stopped between two motorcycles in the middle of the parking lot, giving a head start. “ I’m not going to need the headstart Peaches. You know I'll catch you and bring you back to where you belong in two seconds.” You instantly felt your cheeks redden at the pet name. Oh my gosh, why were you blushing? He'd called you that since you were just two kids on the school playground in the first grade. It was Bucky for crying out loud! Was it the weed? You couldn’t help but see him differently... And you had been for years. You just refused to admit it. And as you stopped, looking back at him you swear your breathing stopped. He was truly beautiful. The piercing ocean blue eyes, the sharp, angled jawline, the perfect face. His tall 6’4 build and his body. Holy shit his body. You had just happened to have seen it quite a few times being his best friend. He looked like a living angel. And all you could just do was giggle, as he came running at you. Attempting to run in the other direction, the world spun again, causing you to fall over. You felt strong arms pick you up and swing you upside down over his shoulder. “ Cmon silly. I told you so.'' Bucky grinned as he carried you, snatching the blunt from your fingers. “ Bucky, please! You know I'm ok and I just wanted to piss off you and Stevie-” you rambled and snorted laughing as a sharp smack to your ass stopped you in your tracks. “ BUCKY!” you wail as he cackles. “ Hush peaches. You're too cute for your own good.” as he walked back to Steve, you poked your head up and saw the motorcycles gleam under the fluorescent purple lights. “ Buck, let's get a motorcycle.” you exclaim as he sets you down next to Steve. He snorts. “ What?! We could ride it all over the place! We could go to New York, California, Paris.. Maybe even the ocean!” you look up at him and smile. He grins down at you, a glint in his eye. “ I’ll think about it, bunny.”  “ Whatdda think of that Stevie pie?” you lean your head against his shoulder, peering up at him, your hand sneaking across to pat his cheek. “ I think you’re extremely high and could properly write a pretty fuckin good Pink Floyd song right now” Bucky bursts out laughing and you swear you feel your heart drop to your ass. God that is truly music to your ears. And his smile. Oh god, his smile. You could write poems better than Shakespeare on how beautiful it was. “Your laugh sounds like the bass riff in the Lemon Song by Led Zeppelin Bucko!” you giggle. Bucky crouches down to your level, meeting you on the ground with Steve, tilting your head with his hand and smirking. “ You silly silly girl.” he brushes a thumb across your cheekbone and down, ghosting over your lip. It takes everything in you not to suck it, as your lips part slightly. “ You guys almost finished?” Thor poked his head out, eyeing you suspiciously. He snorted, realizing you were  fucked. “ Oh, this should be funny…” Steve barked out a laugh as he stood, brushing the dust from his jeans. “ NICE ASS STEVIE!!” you yell, attempting to swat at it, but he's too tall standing and you end up missing. Thor boomed out with laughter. “ C'mon you” Bucky pulls you up by your arms gently, throwing an arm around your shoulder to steady you as the two of you walk into the bowling alley once again. “ We’ve got a game to win.”

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BUCKY'S POV

She was stunning. Captivating. Addicting honestly. She was like a drug, like the weed he inhaled an hour prior. He was mesmerized by her. The way the neon lights glimmered against her pale skin, the way her wavy blonde hair fell down her back like a waterfall. Her eyes always had depth behind them, always. And whenever she'd smile or laugh they light up like carnival lights. Dawn was truly beautiful. And he knew for a fact he was not the only one who thought so. He noticed how other guys would stare when she walked by, how they'd steal glances at her petite frame. He definitely noticed, even when she never did. And each time he'd hold her a little tighter, walk with her a little closer. But he couldn't think of her that way, could he? Bucky knew deep down he loved her more than a friend. Much, much more than a friend. But he couldn't truly ruin what they had, could he? All those years- just changed because he had an attachment to her? He truly couldn't shake it off though, as much as he knew he probably should. So instead of talking to the bartender that was throwing him flirty glances all night, or the brunette at lane 10 who winked at him, he pulled Dawn a little closer to his body. The girl he truly wanted to be with. Bucky watched as she went up to the line, all their friends cheering her on. She did a little twirl and rolled the ball with difficulty, and watched as it slowly knocked over three pins. Dawn was ecstatic, jumping up and down as everyone laughed and poured more drinks. She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him the best she could, her tiny figure barely up to his mid stomach. Bucky inhaled her scent of vanilla and cinnamon. It was intoxicating. He could never get enough of her. He went to twirl a piece of her blonde locks sound his finger, feeling how soft and silky it was- “ Earth to James?” Dawn called up to him. “Huh?!” he blinked, snapping out of whatever trance he was in. “ I said... Did you see me? Wasnt I fuckin awesome?!” She glanced up at him, her eyes red and glazed, cheeks red as she swayed slightly to the music coming out of the speakers. “ Yes Peach, you were crazy awesome. Nixon ain’t got shit on you baby.” He chuckled. She giggled as he twirled her around and around like he always had since they were younger. “ Your turn Bucko!” Steve and Peter called to him, Peter handing him a ball. “ Watch and learn Dawn.” As he turned away from her and looked at the group of all of them, he caught Steve's eye as he winked at him. Steve knew. He always knew. And as he walked up to roll the ball, he knew he was fucked. Dawn would never ever leave his mind... And he didn't want her to.

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DAWNS POV

Dawn’s eyes opened slowly, as she sat up, sleep still clinging to her bones. “ Wha-” “ Ahhh there she is!” You hear a deep yet sweet voice say from beside you. Bucky was in the driver’s seat of his convertible, one hand on the wheel and one on your thigh, tracing circles. You look over and smile at him, the streetlights illuminating his face. The clock reads 1:12 am, and The Beatles “ Here, There and Everywhere” plays quietly out of the speakers. “ Buck where are we going? What happened?” He chuckled, removing his hand from your thigh to run it through his long black hair. “ You had some fun peach. Drank a little, smoked a little, and kicked some major ass at bowling.” “ Damn fuckin right I did!” you laugh, throwing your feet up on the dash. “ I thought we could grab a bite to eat at the drive-in and get you home Peach. You need some sleep silly.” “ YAYYY!” You yell excited you’d be getting your coke and curly fries. You always got that, and Bucky knew it. He just smirked and the two of you sang the Beatles off-key at the top of your lungs, cackling when Bucky would hit the high note as he drove down the freeway and pulled into the exit and into the drive-in.

“ That. Was. Fucking. Amazing.” you exclaim as Bucky neared your house. “ Munchies hit that hard honey buns?” You fidgeted with nervousness and arosoul, praying he didn't notice. “ Maybe.. Beer and vodka doesn’t satisfy my hunger.” “ And thank god for that,” Bucky said, snorting as he pulled into your driveway and stopped the car. You open your door and feel a strong set of arms pick you up bride style and swing you around. “ BUCKY!” you shout, caught off guard. “ You wanna wake the whole fuckin neighborhood up Peaches?!” Bucky rolled his eyes as he shut the car door with his foot. “ I am not letting you walk up those three stairs alone. It’s like Mount Everist up there. Besides I like having you in my arms.” He explained as he carried you up the driveway and up the steps. You nuzzled into him more, inhaling his scent. Pine and mint. It was intoxicating. Bucky set you down at your door and you wobbled slightly. “ Come in?” You ask, turning back to look at the angel behind you. The porch light glowed hazily on his face, and his eyes lit up. “ It would be my pleasure peach.” You step into the front hall and head towards the stairs, waving your finger at Bucky to come up with you. “ Bucky will you be my bbm baby?” “ Now what made you think of that?” Bucky laughed, following you close behind to your room. You turn to look at him, standing on your tiptoes to flick his nose. “ You’d be a perfect one.” He sighs and placed a hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture as you giggle. “ Oh, I know peach. It would be my absolute pleasure.” You rolled your eyes, slinging off your jacket as Bucky picked out a record from your collection to play. Your reflection shines back at you through your vanity mirror, as you grab your brush and stroke it through your long hair. Led Zeppelin plays softly as Bucky comes up behind you, hugging your waist and drawing you closer to him. “ God I love you Peach. You smell amazing,” he says, his head down towards your neck as you bare it to him, tilting your head slightly and moving your hair over your shoulder. He nuzzles it as bites it gently as you giggle. “ What do I smell like Bucko?” “ Vanilla, cinnamon, sugar, and weed. I just wanna eat you all up..” Bucky drawls on as he meets your eyes in the mirror. Your cheeks are flushed red and you feel your core tingle as he meets your gaze and nips and tugs at your earlobe. He smirks, seeing the effect he’s spilling onto you. “ Cmon peach” He twirls you around and sets you on the bed. “ Play with my hair?”

Your fingers had ran through his hair until the record stopped playing. You had no idea what time it was, or what was happening, all you knew was that Bucky's head was in your lap, his tall and big figure covering the entire bed, asleep for all you knew. You two were talking, until he suddenly became very quiet, purring like a cat when you scratched his scalp. Bucky was rarely in this state, so vulnerable and open, except with you. He truly only trusted you, and well.. Steve. But even Steve didn’t get this side of him. He was usually too on edge, determined to protect you. Seeing him like this was, different- in a good way. The soft lighting from your fairy lights and the vanilla candle you had lit beforehand shown on his face, making him glow. He looked so at peace and well, youthful. At ease. But suddenly, as you gazed down at him, tracing your thumb across his jaw, jet blue eyes pierced yours. You smiled softly but were suddenly thrown over him, ending up on his lap. “ What was that for?” You shriek, laughing. “ I don’t know.. I just like seeing you on top of me Peach. You’re so pretty like that, on top of me ya know? You truly look like a goddess. But I think I’d prefer you under me.” Bucky said, his hand slipping under your top to brush along your hips, tracing patterns along them. Your breath hitched, and you felt the heat of his touch consume you. Wetness pooled down in your thong. “ What's wrong honeybun? At a loss for words?” He purred with a cocky grin on his face, as your cheeks turned scarlet. One of his hands snaked up to reach your cheek, his thumb brushing your lip. As he sat up, you straddled across his lap, your hands meeting his cheeks, just brushing your fingers across them. You felt a pull between the two of you, and suddenly you were inches away from his lips. “ Do- do you think about us like I think about us?” You whispered gently and he smirked. “ Depends on how you think of us peach. You wanna show me, give me a little example hmm?” He edged you on, and you leaned even closer. “ Give in honey.” Bucky drawled. “ Show me. Be a big girl and show me what you mean baby.” His voice dropping an octave and his eyes full-blown with lust. And as your lips met his, you swear you were addicted. You couldn’t get enough of him. He was everything you had ever wanted. His lips were so soft, so delicate, yet as his hands reached up to pull you closer to him, one around your waist and the other cupping your cheek you swore you felt that possessiveness he’d always shown towards you. And you loved it. God, you loved it. Your tongues danced in sync and he tasted like coffee and caramel. You let out a moan and he captured it between your lips. When the kiss broke, he tilted his head and smirked “ Yes Peaches. I have for a while now. And if you want this, and you trust me, there’s nothing more I’d ever want to do in my life than to worship that beautiful body like it deserves. You’re a goddess Dawn.” You felt your cheeks redden even more as your gaze dropped. His fingers scooped under your chin and pulled your head up gently to meet his. “ Hey hey no hiding now my bunny. Stay with me yeah? Whatever you want honey, do not ever feel embarrassed around me ok?” You nodded your head as a smile appeared on his face. “ I want this Bucky. I’m yours. Forever.” And with that, he kissed your lips with a growl.  

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky barns x you #bucky x female reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns imagine #the winter solider #the winter solider smut #the winter solider imagine #the winter solider fanfiction #the winter solider x reader #bucky barnes fluff #winter solider x y/n #winter solider x you #marvel mcu #marvel #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfiction #mcu fancast #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fanfic

[fluffysucker]

1. So instead, I watch you leave.

Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU)

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I'm so excited you can't imagine. Likes, comments, reblogs are very highly appreciated

Feel free to correct me if you find any mistakes

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Sitting on the couch, staring into nothingness, your mind was somewhere else. A torturing place Thoughts were running wildly in a very dark corner.

You turned your head once you heard the footsteps down the stairs. Holding the last of his stuff in the bag, it was your husband. Ex-husband.

You wanted to break down, scream, and cry. But you knew it was not in vain. You didn't do it before, and you weren't going to do it today. Today put everything into perspective. It became real.

You shared eye contact. There were no words to say, but so many were left unspoken. You could only hope your eyes weren't mirroring the excruciating pain you were feeling.

Because his eyes were showing nothing. The steel blue that once was your safe place, your home, was now haunting you. They were always filled with warmth and calm for you. Now, they were empty. You wished he could have talked to you, shared what was going on

He was the first to break the contact as he moved towards the door. You let out a tired breath and got up to follow him.

"See you next weekend." His neutral voice almost made you fall to the floor. How could he be so calm while you were falling apart?

You nodded, not finding it in yourself to speak. He was about to leave.

"You can call me if you need or want anything. Anytime." He turned to you with his hand still on the doorknob.

You found his offer ironic. He was leaving, but somehow, he still cared. This time, you didn't trust your voice to reply, settling for a nod with a small smile.

He took one last look at you before turning around and leaving. He left you.

You rested your head on the door, fighting to keep the tears at bay. It was much more painful than you ever anticipated.

You collected every bit of yourself you could, sniffing the tears and sobs out so you could assume your role.

You made sure you looked fine before moving upstairs to your children's room. It was sleep time.

"Hey babies." You played the cheerful tone in your voice to perfection.

Both of them turned to you, and your act almost cracked. The sad look in their eyes wasn't something you ever wanted to see.

"Mommy, did Daddy leave?" Your six-year-old daughter, Lily, almost whispered, afraid that if she said it out loud, it would be true.

But it was true. He chose to say his goodbyes to the kids earlier, before their bedtime. Because, in his words, it would be easier, and it was even a goodbye. He wasn't leaving the kids.

"Yes, baby. But he will call you first thing in the morning." You tucked your daughter into bed. He did promise he would make up for missing the morning routine by calling at breakfast time.

"Mommy." Your four-year-old son, Theo, called for you as you moved to his bed this time.

"Does Daddy not love us anymore?" His question was also a whisper. But it didn't miss you, and it broke your already broken heart.

It's been weeks of trying to tell the kids that their father and your breakup had nothing to do with them. It was something that had to be done. And you have been putting extra effort into reminding them that their parents would never love them any less. Mommy and Daddy not living together anymore would never mean they didn't love them endlessly. But it seemed your efforts weren't enough.

"No, baby, never. Daddy loves both of you the most." He doesn't love me anymore, you said in your head.

"He loves you so much. He will keep calling, and you will spend the weekend together. He will come by anytime you want him. He will always be there for you." You were starting to get his offer before he left. He meant the kids. Of course, he was talking about the kids.

You couldn't find anything else to tell them. You knew this was going to be hard on them, too. You were putting all your strength into making it the tiniest bit easier. You kissed both of their cheeks before leaving the room.

You closed their bedroom door, and the act fell. You were exhausted, but you didn't leave yourself to the pain. You moved around the house, doing errands and finishing stuff you usually did, but you didn't do today because you spent half of your day at the lawyer's office. You were trying to keep yourself busy, but there is only so much you can do at this late hour of the night.

You checked to see to the kids were sleeping safe and sound in their beds, then went to your room. Suddenly, the room felt so big and so cold. You saw your phone buzzing on the bedside table. It was messages from the group text you have with Natasha and Sharon, your two bestfriends. You forgot to text them the whole day, so their worry was showing.

You replied that you did finish all the papers, and he left. You said that you were fine. The decision was mutual, so you were doing okay. There's no need for them to come hijack you or stay the night.

You left your phone and moved to the bathroom to do your nightly routine. You stood in front of the mirror. And you could see it all. The shell of the woman you were lately You tried not to think about it, but the spots where his stuff used to be were an awful reminder.

As you were finishing up your skincare, the shining diamond caught your eye. You have been wearing it for long enough that you stopped noticing it. it was part of you. Not tonight. You looked at the ring that meant so much to you. That you wore with pride. Now, it almost felt like a drowning weight.

You knew it was the right call. You had to do it, so you took it off. And that was your white flag. You gave up.

Gates of tears were opened, and you couldn't stop them. Sobs wreaking your body. You could feel the pain taking over your body. You got divorced. You were divorced from the man you thought was your forever.

And the worst part was that you didn't know why. He never gave you a good reason. You even wished there was someone else. Someone else he loved more than you Maybe then the pain would make sense. But there wasn't. He swears there wasn't one. You needed any explanation. Any rod to hold your pain. He only said he wasn't comfortable anymore.

What happened?. Why now?. What broke between you? What have you done? Were you not a good wife? Were you not good enough? Had he ever loved you? Was the ladies man really never capable of changing? Should you never believed him? Were you only a burden for him?

More questions you didn't ask but desperately needed answers for.

You tried so hard to understand what was happening. You noticed right away the shift in his demeanor. You could see him shutting you away. A method he followed after he got out of the army, when his thoughts became too loud, he would close on himself. You thought you had managed to break the habit. Turned out you didn't.

knowing him wrecked every part of your existence. It was the best thing and the worst thing ever happened you. You wished he could do something but you could only watch him leave.

Your sobs weren't getting any slower. You had been keeping everything inside for too long. Afraid you would wake the kids, you got into the shower and let the water run.

You couldn't even stand. You sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water wash you. Maybe it could ease the aching in your heart. It didn't. Nothing would. You loved him so much that you knew you would never get over this. You loved him too much to let him stay when he didn't want to, despite how much you needed him.

Heart-wrenching cries were leaving your mouth, and you couldn't control them. You felt like you would pass out from the pain. Everything was hurting.

This was the aftermath of loving Bucky Barnes.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #beefy bucky #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x you #james buchanan bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #husband!bucky #Husband! bucky x wife!reader #dad!bucky #marriage #divorce #Exhusband!bucky #sharon carter #sam wilson #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #You will be the death of me

[modern-vellichor]

Hiya! Could you do smth where the reader is masturbating in her room thinking about Bucky. When then Bucky sneaks in your room hiding from Sam chasing him, he hears you moaning his name and gets flushed but instead of leaving he decides to help you out and show you that the real thing is better than imagining it ? :)) and maybe his POV too ? ☺️ thank you dear. I’d really crave some soft Bucky smut atm.

hiya dolly!! enjoy this poorly written smut! its one am and I can't see properly :)

Warnings: 18+ smut, fem masturbation, slight teasing, edging, soft!bucky, fingering, explicit language, consenting king, this is Bucky’s world and we’re all just whores living in it.

Your hand slipped below the waistband of your underwear, fingers dancing playfully on your skin. Teasing. Your breath hitched in your throat. You rolled your underwear down your legs, throwing them in the general direction of your hamper.

Bucky tore through the compound, footsteps as loud as a stampede fell on deaf ears. He rounded corners dangerously fast, feet slipping precariously on tile. Sam yelled profanities at him but Bucky simply laughed as he escaped from Wilson's grasp. He stormed down the halls, your room was closest.

Your fingers played tenderly over your clit, you let out a breathy moan. Your other hand danced across the skin of your ribs gently. You gathered your slick on your fingers, dragging them slowly over the bundle of nerves as you moaned wantonly. You thought you were alone, you thought you had locked the door.

Bucky slipped into your room silently. He locked the door and snickered as he heard Sam sprint past your door. He gently padded through your room, reaching the little couch. You were nowhere to be seen.

You slipped one finger past your folds, into the greedy cavern of your cunt. Your mouth fell open, your head thrown back into pillows. You pumped in and out of yourself slowly, tenderly. You grazed ever so gently at the spot inside of you that made you see stars. A fresh wave of arousal seeped onto your sheets.

"Fuck, Bucky," you moaned, eyes shut as you allowed your fantasy to absorb you. You tried to imagine his calloused fingers inside of you instead of your own. You added a second finger and pumped with a little more fervour. His name fell from your lips again, this time a little louder. Passion filled your voice as your free hand wandered down to circle your aching clit.

Bucky heard his name echo through your room. He silently rose from his position on your couch, stalking towards your bed. As he rounded the corner you came into sight. Head thrown back, eyes screwed shut, mouth open wide as his name dripped from your tongue like a litany.

His eyes traveled down to where your fingers were knuckle deep in your own sopping cunt, and the others fondled your glistening clit greedily.

He discarded of his shirt and then crossed his arms over his bare chest. He enjoyed the free show as he hardened in his sweats. He waited until you were on the very edge, your orgasm leering over you as you screamed out for him. He answered.

"What's this?" and your orgasm was bring ripped from you as you hurried to cover up and began to apologise profusely. He chuckled darkly at your closing legs. “Please, don’t stop on my account,” he looked you up and down with a smirk.

“Bucky?” Your face scrunched in confusion. He slinked towards you, perching on the edge of your bed. He licked his lips, a lustful glint in his eyes. He settled between your legs and you couldn’t help the involuntary moan that bubbled from your chest.

“What, baby? Need me to help you cum?”

Still in shock, you gasped at his lewd words. His eyes sparkled with the idea of you. The baleful laugh that left his lips was full of sin and all things unholy. He hovered over you. You quivered, half in excitement and half in utter fear. He brought one hand to grip your chin, bringing your tearful gaze to his.

“Don’t cry, princess. I’ll make you feel good, can I do that?” His eyes sparkled softly.

The fact that he asked made your skin tingle with excitement. You had always been a little afraid of him, of the Winter Soldier that could still lurk. You had always expected him to take what he’s given and then keep going. He wiped the tears from your cheeks and you nodded eagerly.

His lips pressed against yours, gentle at first. He worked you open, distracting you from the metal touch trailing to the apex of your thighs. You let out a profane moan, near pornographic. Bucky smiled at you. 

He stared at you. Your eyes open in shock as two, unnaturally thick and long fingers slipped into you. You jumped at the feel of cool metal in your hot, dripping pussy. Your mouth opened but you made no sound.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he mumbled into your skin, pressing gentle, reassuring kisses to your neck. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you. Your breath came out in pants as Bucky began to work you open. He pumped his fingers gently, curling against the spot that made you go wild with each addictive stroke. His cool thumb against your clit made your hips buck. You clawed at his back, but it only spurred him on.

He would work you to the edge, whisper reassuring words into your ears and then pull his fingers away. He would sit back on his heels and smirk as you whined and writhed and begged. And once your high had slipped away and you were utterly fed up, he would crawl back up your body and return to his sinful ministrations. He did this until you were a babbling mess. 

The scent of your arousal filled the room. The air was thick and stifling. You had soaked the sheets beneath you and you hadn’t even cum yet. You cried incoherently as Bucky worked you over with his fingers. He had abandoned his gentle demeanor for something rough and animalistic. 

You ground against his hand. His thumb rubbed harsh circles on your clit as his fingers curled relentlessly against your g-spot. Your nails pressed half moon shapes into the skin of his shoulders. You begged with reckless abandon. The shame of the situation has long since disappeared.

“You gonna cum this time, hmm?” Bucky cooed as he began to work faster, he picked up a near violent pace. You nodded eagerly as you moaned wantonly.

He encouraged you softly, a welcome contrast to the pace between your legs. Your mouth opened to scream as your body went stiff. Bucky pressed a bruising kiss to your lips. He swallowed your moans eagerly. His pace relented to something soft and loving as you came down from an atomic high. You were sure you had blacked out.

Bucky pulled his drenched fingers to his lips. He sucked them clean, releasing them with a lewd pop.

“Wasn’t that so much better than you had imagined, huh?” He cooed as he pulled your still trembling form into his chest. “If you were so desperate, you should have just asked.”

#Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader smut #bucky x y/n #bucky x Female Reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky fluff

[noxnthea]

Winterhawk ficlet: “Our signs don’t align!” + astrology + established relationship + outsider POV + dumpster fire Clint + background Kate/Yelena/America wc: 1050

~~~

Clint walks out from his room the next day, his hair a mess, an astrology book in hand. 

Kate looks up from her seat on the couch — he's even more of a zombie than normal, and she's pretty sure he hasn't realized she's in the room. 

It takes thirty minutes and three cups of coffee before Clint emerges from his stupor. He lifts his head up slowly from where he's been staring at a single page for the past cup and a half, then blinks as he notices Kate for the first time. 

“Katie,” he says, voice filled with way too much mourning for a sunshine Saturday afternoon, "A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?" 

Kate glances away for the half second it takes her to school her expression. This is going better than she could have hoped. “Bucky is water sign.” 

Clint chokes out a sob. “I know. Still waters run deep. And I’m nothing but a flighty fucking air sign.” 

Oh god. This is pitiful. Kate’s in heaven. 

She tightens the twist of her lips to keep from laughing. “Yeah, you’re not wrong. Geminis are known to be, hmm, what’s a nice way to say this… wishy-washy.” 

“I so am, oh my god," Clint moans into his mug. “Do you know what Co-Star says my best career options would be? Do you know?? It says I would make a good Twitter personality. A Twitter personality, Kate! What the fuck can a Twitter personality offer Bucky? A Pisces best jobs include volunteer therapists and amateur poets. Those aren’t even on the same level. I’ll never be enough for him.” 

Kate thinks about how the website she sent to Clint also says Pisces would make good “sad clowns” and “orbs of light”, or the fact that both Clint and Bucky are gainfully employed as full-time superheroes, but resists pointing that out. Instead, she says, “Yeah, totally. Did you see the part that talks about how Pisces like to be romanced with classic novels in the park and handwritten love letters? Yikes, man, I don’t think you’ve ever done that for Bucky, have you.” 

Clint stares into his mug as though it’s the end of the world, and his death awaits him after his last sip. “You mean the part right above where it talks about how they attract people with bad boundaries who take advantage of their compassion? Kate, it’s me. I have no boundaries. I’m the one who takes advantage of his compassion.” 

Kate winces, pulling in a breath between her teeth. “Well, you’re the one who said it…” 

Clint closes his eyes, inhales. “You know who else is a Gemini? Kanye fucking West. You know who else is a Pisces? Rihanna. I’m the Kanye to his Rihanna. I never wanted this. I’m going to ruin him.” 

“I dunno,” Kate says. “I think Pisces are used to heartbreak and trauma. Bucky definitely is.” 

Clint slips off of his chair, spooling like a limp noodle onto the floor of the living room. He throws one arm over his face, the other clattering backwards against an end table. “But I don’t wanna break his heart.” 

Kate bites her fist to keep herself from crying in laughter. She can feel her face heating up; it’s probably freaking purple. Giving Clint that website and that book was the best idea she’s ever had. She takes a second to compose herself. “I dunno, Clint, sounds like your relationship is — “ 

The door to the apartment swings open, and there’s a loud skittering of paws as Lucky slip-slides across the concrete floor, landing with a crash on top of Clint. Clint wraps his arms around the dog, pressing his face into his fur, groaning out mostly incomprehensible sentences. Kate catches “I don’t deserve your love,” and “how could I believe — ” and “I knew it all— .” 

Bucky walks into the room a moment later, freezing when he takes stock of the situation. 

Kate tries to keep her laughter back, and it comes out as a half-choked snort.

“…Clint?” Bucky asks softly, murder brows furrowed in Kate’s direction, as though that’s ever done anything to intimidate her. “What’s going on, sweetheart?” 

There’s a beat, then Clint mutters something deep into Lucky’s belly that Kate’s unenhanced hearing doesn’t pick up. 

“What was that?” Bucky tentatively steps into the room, looking absolutely baffled. “You’re a, I’m a — what?” 

Clint rolls out from under Lucky, and groans, fatalistic, “I’m a bird, Bucky, and you’re a fish, and I’m never going to make you happy!” 

 Kate can’t decide if he looks more like a toddler throwing a tantrum or a pirate walking to the end of a gangplank over a sea that’s swarming with sharks. Both? Yeah, both. 

Bucky sighs, then looks at Kate. 

She takes pity on him. “I introduced him to astrology yesterday and he found out that your signs don’t align.” 

An entire spectrum of emotions flashes across Bucky’s face, before finally settling on a sickening exasperated fondness that makes Kate want to vomit. 

He marches over to Clint and sits on the floor next to him, forcibly pulling Clint’s gangly body into his lap. “Clint,” he says, patient, “We’ve been together for five years. We got engaged six months ago. We’re getting married in three weeks. You know you make me happy.” 

“Yeah, but the stars say I’m bad at commitment!” 

The glare Bucky shoots Kate over the top of Clint’s head promises swift retribution. 

She decides that it’s a good time to take her leave. 

She skedaddles out of the apartment as Bucky starts listing all the ways Clint’s proven himself to be perfectly capable of committing to the people he cares about. She pulls out her phone, where several texts in a group message are waiting. 

Star Spangled Sweetheart: how’d it go???? 👀👀👀 Assassinate My Heart: It is Clint. It surely went hilariously.  Star Spangled Sweetheart: okay yeah but I need details.  Star Spangled Sweetheart: did he cry? please tell me he cried.  Assassinate My Heart: He definitely cried Assassinate My Heart: Lunch at 2 at Montellos. You can tell us about it then? I want the gore.  Star Spangled Sweetheart: gory details, Yels.  Assassinate My Heart: I want the gore. Assassinate My Heart: 🩸🔪💀 Assassinate My Heart: 🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Kate grins, then starts typing.

World’s Best Archer: don’t worry guys, I can do you one better. World’s Best Archer: I got his whole breakdown on video. 

Star Spangled Sweetheart: !!!! holy SHIT Assassinate My Heart: This is why you are perfect, котик World’s Best Archer: dancing-cowboy-fingerguns.gif 

~~~ ficlet #4 of @ladyladylady1's birthday week! Also, a uh, 5 month belated gift for @bekala, who was the first person to make me think about how Kate would 100000% fuck with Clint this way.

#no astrologists were harmed in the making of this ficlet #i just can’t get enough of a Yelena and america approved Kate prank #is Kate the best bro or the worst bro? #you decide! #if only Clint had checked his horoscope for the day #woulda said something like “don’t trust your loved ones for they will deceive you and delight in your agony’ #also now I want to write Kate x Yelena x america forever #HAPPIEST OF BIRTHS LADY AND BEKALA IM SO GLAD THE STARS ALIGNED TO BRING YOU INTO MY LIFE #winterhawk #my fic #amerikate #kate/yelena #outsider pov #clint barton

[howdoyousleep3]

There was only one thing that made sense for me to give to you for your gift of 2K followers to me.

I love you. I would not be here without you.

Daddy Steve and Baby Bucky would not be here without you.

So without further ado...

Rating: T (Teen) Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Wordcount: 6.8K Tags: Meet-Cute, First Meetings, Steve Rogers Feels, POV Steve Rogers, Developing Relationship, Bucky Barnes Feels, POV Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Nat is the best Wingman, Clint is also the best Wingman, Mentions of Past and Toxic Relationship, Insecurities, Only Happy Endings Here Summary: How it all began.

Bucky doesn’t even hesitate once the beer is set down in front of him, doesn’t even grimace as he swallows down his first swig of it.

“This is disgusting,” he remarks flatly, going in for another gulp. If he drinks more, he’s sure it won’t be long before he doesn’t care about the taste of the beer in the slightest. Then again, was it even possible for him to get drunk from beer? This local IPA that Nat insisted he get makes him hopeful of just that.

“Mmm, good thing we’re not picky,” Nat responds with, reaching for her own glass and tipping it back. Bucky grimaces, agrees to disagree, and instead dips a fried pickle deep into a cup of ranch.

“You know this might be the best decision you’ve ever had. Why talk about our feelings when we can just…eat them?” Bucky asks rhetorically and with a flick of his fingers towards their tabletop. Lamb meatballs, spinach artichoke dip, truffle fries— treat yourself comfort bar food at its finest.

“Right, but also when we were at home like thirty minutes ago you were crying after having communicated with me very clearly what your feelings were so…”

Bucky smiles, taps a few fingers under Nat’s chin two times before reaching for a few fries.

“It’s the best of both worlds, baby.”

It’s been one hell of a week for the two of them, one thing after the other, encouragements of keeping their head up fading and becoming weaker as the days passed. Nat has spent the majority of her time at work, her asshole boss overworking her, taking advantage of her thinning kindness. Bucky has barely seen her this week, their paths crossing between classes and work, showers and breakfast. And with his schedule and his workload from classes, he spent most of his time at the library preparing for Dr. Banner’s midterm exam.

The two of them finally reconnected, Nat crawling into Bucky’s bed once she got home well into Thursday night, Friday morning. It felt good to let his feelings out, to talk to his best friend, to cuddle close and have his hair played with.

“Just us today. We’re gonna do whatever we want to do today, Buck. Fuck everyone else,” Nat had told him, and he wholeheartedly agreed, mind already light from letting out the stress of the week with a good cry.

“Yeah, fuck ‘em…”

Bucky likes this bar. It’s a bit dingey but somehow charming, the music soothing and low, the warm chatter of other patrons surrounding him. It’s comforting and everything that would come to mind if Nat were to suggest a bar, which she had with an easy, “I know one of the bartenders, c’mon.” Bucky is about to give Nat shit for the way the bartender’s eyes lit up when he saw her, for the way he said her name and the way she replied in kind, when Bucky sees him.

Holy shit.

Bucky has to pull his eyes away almost immediately as soon as they land on the man at the bar. His chest grows warm and it isn’t because of this bitter beer.

“Holy shit,” he repeats out loud, dropping what’s left of his handful of fries into the basket of fried pickles. He wipes his hand on his jeans, adjusts in his seat, chances a glance back up to the man at the bar.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s…n-nothing.”

“Oh my god, did you stutter? Why? What’s—”

“Nat! Don’t look!” he hisses, gives his best attempt to avoid making a scene when Nat turns in search for what it is that Bucky has seen to cause such an immediate reaction. It fails. Nat spots him immediately as well, head slow to move back in Bucky’s directions, eyes wide nonetheless.

“Holy shit.”

Bucky’s cheeks go up in flames. He can feel it where he sits, that throb of color, that wave of sensation. He reaches for his beer, manages to look over it and back at the bar as Nat whistles lowly.

“Buck…”

“I know, I know.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, is that your walking wet dream?”

“I don’t…oh my god.”

He doesn’t even have the space in his mind to protest any further, knows anyone who has ever crossed paths with this man would know Bucky is full of shit if he made an attempt to.

Bucky’s never seen anyone so beautiful before in his life.

This man has a face and physique for a runway, a Vogue catalogue, for in front of a camera. His side profile alone has a ball of arousal dropping into Bucky’s stomach like a stone, a boulder, sharp and rugged. A strong nose, a neatly trimmed beard, a pout Bucky can see from here, effortlessly swept back hair. Even sitting down, Bucky knows this man is a large man, that he takes up space in more way than one, is broad.

Bucky swallows heavily.

Casual yet professional, a dark polo that gorgeously clings to curvature of his arms and the span of his shoulders, jeans that miraculously fit and stretch around thighs so thick they make Bucky’s mouth water. A simple pair of brown boots and to top everything off, what Bucky thinks is a watch. Simply looking at him has Bucky wanting to think up incredibly inappropriate thoughts starring this man and this man alone.

Bucky is inexplicably drawn to him.

“Buck—”

“Nat, don’t,” he mumbles, eyes not leaving the man at the bar as he speaks and sets his beer down. Nat turns around against, chances another glance of her own.

“Bucky, you have to talk to him.”

“What?” Bucky squeaks, leaning forward in his seat to make himself clear. “Are you insane? Not a chance in hell. He...he's probably just looking at you anyway. Maybe he's...maybe he's not into men!”

Natasha grabs for his wrist, the closest part of him she can get a grip on, leans forward to face him head-on.

“You’re going to talk to that man before we leave here tonight.”

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve sighs as the other man brings him another glass of whiskey, not even the good stuff. That rightfully made Clint’s eyebrows raise when Steve requested it, “Well is fine.”; this isn’t the kind of place to drink shitty whiskey. It is almost painfully harsh, no depth, just pure burn, but it’s what Steve wants in this moment.

“Y’alright, Rogers?”

Steve is sure his smile falls flat so he covers it up with another drink, nods his head.

“Yeah, yeah I’m…m’okay.”

Clint doesn’t look convinced but nods his head and blessedly leaves it at that and moves onto the next customer. Steve’s sigh is long and is a relief that racks his body. He fills up his lungs with air, holds it momentarily, breathes out, brings his glass back up to his lips.

“Right, Steve but…you’re not happy. And I’m tired of seeing you try and pretend that you are. You know who you are, you know how important having a loving and doting partner is to you. You need to be consumed. That’s just who you are! I hate seeing you go through these patches where you pretend you’re alright with somethin’ physical, but then when the time comes for that conversation, that ‘what is this’ talk, you lie and say you’re fine with what you have with someone because you think you are protecting yourself and saving face. But you’re hurtin’ yourself, man. You’re hurting yourself. I’m sorry…”

Steve hasn’t stopped thinking about Sam’s words since he heard them three nights ago. They’ve kept him up at night, have been ringing through his head, have weighed heavy on his heart. They are words he has been thinking for months, years, words that Sam has tried to slowly tell him over time but in an emotional outburst ended up saying all at once over dinner.

They were long overdue but stung nonetheless. Steve didn’t know who he was trying to fool anymore, words out there for him and the person closest to him to see, crystal clear. He’s spent months bed hopping, trying to make the most out of physical relationships, yearning for more yet pretending he was okay with merely fucking around when that kind of relationship was the last thing he desired.

His age, his job, his lifestyle, his personality—every part of Steve, everything that makes up who he is, is desperate for a partner in life.

He has the house for another person, a stable career, the space in his heart. Maybe this is a wakeup call, one that he has needed for a long time, one that he has been too stubborn to see himself. Sam is right—he doesn’t deserve to take this treatment from himself. His immediate follow-up thought is a negative one, is how difficult it is to find someone who is open to and accepting of his intensity, of how he thoroughly enjoys falling head over heels for someone. People tend to not take to that well, don’t like that about Steve, that he’s an all-or-nothing kind of guy.

Steve is bringing his glass back up to his lips, is ready to toss the rest back and ask for another, when he seems him.

“Holy shit.”

“What’s that?” Clint asks, Steve blindly unaware that he was within ear’s reach, but he sets his glass down onto the bar top anyway.

“Nothin’, nothin’. Another?”

Steve thinks Clint nods before he turns and takes Steve’s glass with him, Steve diverting his eyes to the floor. He blinks a few times, maybe he hadn’t seen correctly, glances back up at the man sitting across the room.

Holy shit.

He releases the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding out, low and slow, as soon as his eyes rake over this man’s face once more. Steve feels his heart hammer against his chest a few times, the aching thing making a reappearance that he tries his hardest to tamp down. He’s almost certain he’s never seen someone more beautiful in his life, has never been swept away by someone’s physical appearance before. He’s met beautiful people, has seen them, has been intimate with them, but this is something entirely different.

This kid has a face that would make angels weep. A pair of sinful lips, rose-tinted cheeks, caramel-highlighted hair that curls and wisps as it pleases and is artfully effortless—Steve wants to tuck this one close to his chest for fear of others setting eyes on him. He has boyish charm that Steve has never come across and when he watches this man laugh, eyes wrinkling in the corners, nose scrunching up delightfully, Steve feels something he hasn’t felt in so long stir in his chest.

Hope.

The realization that this feeling is indeed hope has another one tucking in alongside it.

Doubt.

This final awareness that Sam has brought to the forefront of his mind has Steve uncharacteristically doubting himself. He’s on shaky ground, slipped footing. Where he is normally confident and self-assured, he is overthinking and questioning every action and thought he comes across. He feels like he once did when he first started dating, unaware of what is acceptable and what is not, overthinking every possible future scenario inside of his deafening brain.

“Here ya go, man,” Clint announces, placing Steve’s glass down in front of him. He pauses before reaching for it, pulls it towards his body a bit, yanks his eyes away from the man across the bar.

“Clint,” he starts before he can stop himself. He picks up his glass, uses it as an excuse to lift his finger. “Do you know them by chance? That redhead and the…the guy with her?”

He sips his whiskey as Clint turns and looks across the bar. He smiles.

“Eh, kinda. I know the girl’s name is Natasha, been tryin’ to get her number for weeks. She’s stubborn. I like her.”

Steve doesn’t hesitate.

“And what about the man with her?”

Clint shrugs his shoulders, “Yeah, not sure. Sorry, guy.”

“Nah, don’t…don’t worry,” he brushes off, lets his hands cup his glass as he feels nerves he hasn’t felt in years slip through his system. He wants to keep his eyes downcast, wants to reel himself in, but he feels an undeniable pull, an unavoidable urge, to take in as much of this man as he can while he’s been given the chance. When he looks back over across the bar, his heart leaps up into his throat as he sees the man looking over at him.

Shit.

He would like to think it’s the small amount of mustered up confidence that keeps his gaze locked across this busy room, locked onto what he swears is a pair of summer sky eyes, but he’s only fooling himself. It’s like he’s in a trance. Steve swears this is what people feel like when they claim they are “lovestruck”. It feels more like “dumbstruck” though. His palms grow sweaty, his heart races, he tries to find something to do with his hands and fumbles with his whiskey glass.

Either way, he meets this man halfway, looks on for a time that is more that socially appropriate, but one that feels so very right. When Steve lets his eyes wander down this man’s face, the curve of his jaw, to the delightful dimple in his chin, and back up, he’s broken his gaze and is turned towards the redhead with him.

“You…you wanna know what he’s drinking?”

Steve looks over at Clint, had entirely forgotten he was standing so close. Steve swallows, noise loud in his own ears but to no one else, looks down at his hands.

Does he?

It’s a simple and generous question, one with a heavy implication. Steve cannot ignore the timing of this moment; how divine it almost feels to be sitting here questioning what he wants in a future relationship and being in the middle of promising himself things will be different when he sees this breathtaking man.

"You...you think he'd be interested?"

"Only one way to find out, bud," Clint answers easily enough.

Sending a drink over is harmless, is something he would normally have no reservations in doing, would in fact take it over himself. But if he’s trying to be changed, if he’s seeking out a different kind of relationship, is this the way he wishes to go about it?

When his eyes cross the bar again and land on a blush that makes Steve’s gut curl pleasantly, hid decision is made.

“Yeah, why don’t you lemme know what he’s drinkin’…”

“He keeps looking over here, Buck…”

“Nat, I swear to god,” Bucky starts, unsure of what he is swearing about and unable to finish his sentence because her statement is true. The man at the bar keeps looking over in their direction, has continued to do so since he mortifyingly caught Bucky looking over at him. The only reason Bucky knows this to be true is because of the fact that he too cannot stop looking up and over at the man at the bar.

His stomach flips pleasantly and nervously when he sees the bartender talking to the man at the bar, unable to contain his noise when he sees them gesturing gently over to them.

“Oh god, they’re pointing over here, they’re looking over here!”

“I’m so serious, Bucky. If he doesn’t make a move and if you still sit here struck stupid, I’m going to get involved somehow. This will happen.”

Bucky has no comment in response, finds no use in refusing her efforts when he is almost certain he wants to talk to this man. Who wouldn’t? Panic rises up in his throat, thick and heavy, familiar. Why would a man to whom everyone would wish to talk to have an interest in Bucky? His eyes wander over to the bar once more, greedy for any crumbs of this man he can tuck away into his brain, when he sees the bartender start to walk over to their table, mischievous smirk on his lips, beer in hand.

“Oh my god, Natasha.”

“No fucking way. Clint didn’t take another order of ours, did he? That’s gotta be—”

Clint is all sparkling and tickled eyes when he saddles up to their tall table, sets the beer down in front of Bucky.

“My good sir,” he starts, shifting his body in a way that doesn’t block the man at the bar from Bucky’s view. “Another beer for you from my dear sweet friend sitting at the bar all alone over there.”

Clint gestures towards the man, arm extended, and when Bucky follows the movement, his eyes meet a gentle smile followed by a wink that has a physical force to it.

Oh.

Bucky’s tongue is thick in his mouth, a pleasant tingle at the nape of his neck, the warmth of his no doubt opaque blush creeping down his neck as he looks down at the beer. The smile that blooms on his lips is a slow one, but a loud one that is accompanied with a giggle, one that a bitten lip cannot hold back.

“I hate this beer,” is what he stupidly says in response, his giggle uncontrollably growing as Nat rolls her eyes and begins to laugh with him. She turns to Clint, lays her hand on his forearm and says, “Thanks, Clint. Looks like I need to take it from here.” The way her touch and his gaze linger is not lost on Bucky.

Clint claps his hand down onto the table, goes to turn away and walk back towards the bar, when Bucky asks, “What’s…what’s his name?”

“That’s not how it works, pal. The drink is an invitation to go over there and find out for yourself.”

Damn.

Bucky stares down at the amber-colored beer, mind racing, practically begs himself to not look up and across the bar. He feels Nat’s hand on his arm, a squeeze then.

“Are you freaking out?” she asks even though it is quite obvious that he is indeed freaking out. He speaks before he can think to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Why…why did he buy me a drink?”

Nat’s eyebrows knit together, Bucky looking up at her.

“Buck, he’s hitting on you. He wants you to talk to him.”

Bucky shakes his head.

“No like…why did he buy me a drink?”

Nat’s eyes soften as she brings her other hand up to grab for Bucky’s hand. Her eyes are specifically soft for a reason only she is aware of. Bucky reaches to squeeze for her fingers, swallows down the lump in his throat.

“Buck…” she starts, and Bucky knows what is coming yet needs to hear it anyway, even nods his head to encourage her.

“You deserve positive attention. You deserve to be wanted. This man is requesting your attention and you have every right to say no or walk away at any time.”

Bucky will not cry. He’s done that already today. This is too positive of a night and too exciting of a moment to ruin it with more tears. Nat’s words are one hell of comfort, one that settles over his shoulders and runs down his back, into his mind. These are words she has told him before, words she has lovingly given him time and time again when he needed them the most.

Brock didn’t treat you right. You aren’t the names he calls you. One day you’ll find someone who worships you and loves you the way that you deserve, someone who doesn’t make you feel bad for the things that are you and the way you are made. You are stronger and better than he’ll ever be.

It’s been months, almost a year, since Bucky finally walked away from his last relationship, one that was very unkind to him in many ways, one that Nat had begged him to leave for fear of his physical safety.

“It’s words now, Buck. It’s the words and the manipulation but it could become physical. Please.”

He had gone back to therapy, moved back in with Nat, worked on his physical health, even gone on dates and had purely physical relationships with others. All things he is immensely proud of, that anyone would be proud of, yet here he is questioning his self-worth in a bar.

This has turned into one hell of a night.

“I’m gonna go over there,” he decides with a squeeze of Nat’s hand. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, his body is wracked with nerves, so much so he has to let out a whooshof air, a few more to follow.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna go over there.”

“Thank god. I was going to go over there if you weren’t. Buck, look at that man. He’s a sweet talker in the best way possible, I know it, I can tell. And you not only need a sweet talker, you want a sweet talker.”

“Nat, don’t…don’t get my hopes up, please. Shit.”

He slips from his chair, his feet hitting the floor, and the second thoughts come rushing in. He wishes he had put on a nicer outfit, wishes he would have put on some moisturizer, done up his hair—all of those physical alterations that can enhance a first meeting. He’s got on dark jeans, some old college robotics club shirt on, a jean jacket. He’s certain his face makes it look as if he’s been crying recently, and he has, but this man doesn’t need to know that.

He grabs for the beer, takes a few steps.

“Don’t leave without me, please,” Bucky mumbles to Nat as after he kisses her on the cheek. She squeezes his arms once more, nods her head.

“Remember, Buck—you look sexy as hell when you bite your lip.”

Steve signals for Clint to bring him another round the moment he looks up to see the kid walking over to Steve with the drink he had delivered to him in hand.

The rejection stings more than usual. He isn’t used to it and it happens to be right as he is feeling his most vulnerable. It most certainly doesn’t help that the closer this man gets to him, the more Steve wants him. He’s gorgeous, devastating, has features and carries himself in a way that has Steve’s insides yearning, pulling, aching.

Steve turns towards him as he approaches anyway, softens his features, looks as welcoming and confident as he can knowing what is about to happen. He’s bashful, this one. Doesn’t look up at Steve until he’s all but three steps in front of him, but when he does, good lord.

“Hi,” he says, simple and nervous, his crippling smile growing once he sees Steve’s own welcoming one. He sets the beer down on the bar.

“Hi,” Steve starts, ready to get this over with so this kid can get back to his friend. “I’m sorry if this was forward of me and I understand why you wouldn’t be interested in my forwardness, it’s just—”

“No, wait,” the man says with a quick shake of his head, his eyebrows knitting together. Steve stops talking immediately, a bit startled. “I…I’m very interested in your offer of a drink I just…I hate beer.”

Oh.

“But you’re drinking it?” Steve inquires gently, a smile playing with his lips, unable to hold it back as relief and hope sweep in through his chest. Cutie huffs, rubs the back of his neck and leans, rests an elbow on the bar.

“Yeah, umm…my friend said I’d like it and she uh, she was very wrong.”

With every passing second Steve spends in this man’s presence, the more comfortable he feels, the more he can sense his confidence returning with the undeniable pull between them. It slips off of his tongue easily, naturally—

“Alright, well lemme get you one you actually enjoy drinkin’, sugar.”

The reaction to his words is immediate and absolutely delicious. If Steve was a tad nervous saying these words out loud, throwing around a pet name, this reaction has his mojo solidifying like concrete underneath his feet. The man’s cheeks glow pink, he bites his lip, almost preens into the sweet name Steve gives him. Steve doesn’t know if it’s intentional, but he also tilts his head, exposes his neck as he wiggles where he stands. This one may be bashful but he’s dangerous.

“I’d love a Moscow Mule?”

“Excellent choice.”

Steve waves his hand, knows Clint is busying himself nearby on purpose, unable to prevent his knowing grin from shining through. He turns back to the man by his side, holds out his hand.

“My name is Steve.”

“Bucky. My name is Bucky.”

Bucky.

Their hands meet, Bucky’s skin as soft as it looks, grip firm, a tight shake. Steve doesn’t want to let go and that’s cheesy, awful, but it’s true and Steve lets himself feel the want coursing through his body and his heart in full, doesn’t shy away from it. Bucky doesn’t seem to want to let go of Steve’s hand either, but as he does, he sinks down into the seat next to Steve, right where he belongs.

Clint returns with a twinkling eye and Steve orders his drink for Bucky, turning his attention back to him once Clint has walked away with a wink.

“It’s nice to meet you, Bucky. What’s brought you into this bar on this rainy and gloomy Friday night?”

Steve is grateful that Bucky chooses to turn his body towards him instead of sitting next to him, almost face to face and not shoulder to shoulder. It makes him feel more at ease, calmer, to have someone’s attention in such a way, for it to seemingly be on him and no one else. Steve likes that.

“I was feeling pretty gloomy myself,” Bucky tells him, voice gentle and pleasant. Steve is taken aback by his honesty. “My friend and I decided to cheer ourselves up, ease our spirits with some bar food. How about yourself?”

The two of them share a laugh, but Steve is quick to address Bucky’s emotions.

“I’m so sorry you’re feeling gloomy, Bucky. This sounds like a reliable plan to make yourself feel better though,” he hesitates before continuing, cautious of oversharing himself, but Bucky deserves the same level of vulnerability he’s given Steve. “I’ve been feeling down as well. Thought a bit of a moody moment, a drink in a bar on a rainy night, might make me feel better.”

Bucky thanks Clint, drink in his hand as he immediately grabs for it. Steve watches as he eyes it for a moment, takes the tiny straw between two fingers and stirs. When he looks back up at Steve under his lashes, the look is coy, is gutting, his little lip bite sexy as hell.

“Do you feel any better after your drink in a bar on a rainy night, Steve?”

Steve lowers his voice purposefully, meets Bucky’s gaze.

“The drink isn’t the thing that’s makin’ me feel better, sugar…”

Bucky is in love.

He’d never admit it out loud, to Nat, to himself, but he’s certain that Steve is so very special and that this is a moment that Bucky will remember for years to come. Even if they part ways tonight and never see one another again, he knows in his being that he’ll remember this night he spent at the bar with Steve.

Steve Rogers.

Bucky’s never felt more comfortable with another person so quickly. Their shared conversation rarely stops flowing, nor do the winks and the chiding, and Bucky knows Steve has to be exhausted of hearing Bucky giggle or seeing his cheeks glow red at his flirtatious behavior. Bucky doesn’t care. Steve makes him feel at ease and Bucky is three drinks into their conversation and Steve’s eyes are full of warmth and Bucky doesn’t care.

Steve is kind. He listens to Bucky as he talks, eyes on him, not distracted, like what Bucky has to say is the most important thing in the world at the moment. He asks Bucky about school, his majors, what interested him in pursuing such a lofty double-major. Steve even compliments Bucky, tells him how impressive that is, how smart Bucky must be. It has Bucky practically melting right through the floor.

“What do you do, Steve?” he asks, wanting to divert the attention away from himself, wanting an excuse to hear Steve talk more, to say his name. Bucky hadn’t realized the two of them have gotten so close, chairs already near one another, their bodies even closer, leaning towards the other. Steve has to be a warm person. Bucky knows that if he touched Steve, he’d want to wrap all of his limbs around him, would absolutely cling to him.

Bucky wants to touch Steve. He wants to do more than touch Steve.

Bucky needs to start drinking some water.

“I’m a lawyer,” Steve says easily, tilting his head into his hand, watching for Bucky’s reaction as he takes a sip of his own drink. Bucky is impressed, transparent as his eyebrows raise.

“That’s impressive.”

“Well, thank you. It’s not a bad gig.”

“If it ain’t that bad, why don’t you sound excited?”

Bucky doesn’t expect Steve to smile softly, for his eyes to wrinkle handsomely at the corners. It makes Bucky’s lips curl in kind, hopefully one that pulls Steve’s answer out of him. To seal the deal, Bucky mirrors Steve’s head tilt with his elbow on the bar.

“That’s a really good question, sugar.”

Sugar.

It’s been dropped a handful of times already and Bucky never wants to be referred to as anything else from this moment on. It makes his tummy turn pleasantly, indeed makes him feel sweet. It feels old fashioned and makes Bucky feel desired and Steve says it with such confidence it makes Bucky ache.

“I think…” Steve hesitates, looks over at Bucky with a thoughtful grin. “I think I’ve reached the point in my life where work isn’t my everything. It has been easy, ya know, up to this point in my life to throw myself into my work and let it be my all. I just…I don’t think I want it to be my all anymore.”

Bucky can’t hear anything but Steve’s words and the meaning behind them. The noise and words of the people around him turn into a dull roar. Steve shares his thoughts with Bucky with such emotion, he almost feels as if he should apologize to Steve for asking that sort of question within their first meeting. Did he push too hard? Should he not have asked? This doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be having with someone he’s met just an hour earlier but that thought is the only thing that makes this feel wrong.

It feels very right to be communicating with Steve this way.

Which is why, heart racing as he asks the questions of, “And what do you want to be your all now?”, he knows the answer will be—

“Love.”

Bucky is going to remember this night for the rest of his life.

He feels as if he is sealing some sort of deal when he murmurs, “Yeah. Love is…love is a pretty valid thing to throw your everything into.”

Steve’s soft smile feels like a warm blanket draped right around Bucky’s shoulders. There have been few times in Bucky’s life where he has not regretted being so vulnerable and open with someone and this moment will be added to that short list. Eyes locked, knees almost knocking, belly warm with vodka, ginger beer, arousal, and sugar, the two of them resort to sitting there and drinking each other in instead of their drinks, of sharing any more words.

Bucky maps out every minute detail he can of Steve’s face, from how soft the hairs in his beard look to the way his eyes seem like storm clouds ready to break, back to his bitten, cherry-red bottom lip. Do people do this? Stare at each other longingly, no words being shared, all in dimly lit bars? Maybe Bucky has been doing this whole dating thing wrong for the past few months. Maybe this feeling is because it is Steve.

Shut up, heart.

“You two want another?”

Bucky doesn’t even jump back at Clint’s boisterous interruption. That’s most definitely the vodka’s fault. Maybe it’s the whiskey coursing through Steve’s own body that that has him reaching forward, closing the short distance between them with a hand. Bucky’s heart doesn’t have enough time to even stutter by the time Steve is brushing Bucky’s hair back from his face, his fingers gently tipping Bucky’s chin as his eyes dance between his own, over the features of his face. Bucky almost whimpers when Steve’s hand falls from his face, when that warm touch is broken.

“I think your friend might be gettin’ a bit restless, Buck,” is what Bucky hears Steve murmur, watches him say, eyes locked on the older man’s lips. A tap on the underside of his chin has him comprehending what Steve’s words mean. He forgot all about Nat to be honest, but that realization doesn’t have him pulling away from Steve in the slightest.

“I think that’ll be our last, Clint. I’ll pay for their meal as well,” Steve tells Clint, eyes not leaving Bucky’s as he speaks, merely glancing down once to retrieve his wallet before his eyes are back on Bucky’s. Bucky’s gut burns pleasantly hot at Steve’s show of money, of his show of providing and taking care of Bucky. It scratches an itch that is a deep one for Bucky, one that hasn’t been scratched properly before, one that Bucky wants Steve to keep scratching.

If Steve asked, Bucky would go home with him. He’s only done that a few times before, but he’d do it for Steve. One question and that’s all it would take for Bucky to go home with Steve.

“Bucky,” Steve starts, and Bucky watches as Steve stands from his chair, and fuck, he’s bigger than Bucky thought he was. Even sitting in a barstool seat, even with Bucky being six-foot himself, Steve is a large man. Bucky’s mouth waters. Just one question, just that one question and Bucky would be out the door with Steve in a heartbeat.

“Can I give you my number?”

That isn’t the question Bucky was expecting but it’s…it’s better. You don’t give your number to people you intend to never talk to again once you spend the night with them. Right? Bucky isn’t sure but he likes this question more, likes the idea of having Steve Rogers’s number in his cell phone to utilize for whatever purpose he deems necessary in the future.

Steve smells so good and he’s so warm, and Bucky isn’t even touching him. He’s incredibly close though, and when he looks up at Steve, tilts his head up while still feeling that tap under his chin from seconds prior, Steve steps in close.

“Yes,” Bucky breathes, almost stutters, as Steve slips his hand into Bucky’s jacket pocket, pulling out his phone on his own accord. Bucky reaches forward and naturally rests his trembling hands onto Steve’s hips, nothing Bucky would ever feel confident doing it this weren’t Steve. He is warm. He’s sturdy as well, feels like all things strength and power underneath Bucky’s hands. Steve holds out Bucky’s phone, Bucky types in his passcode. The confidence has the tremble in Bucky’s hand shifting and rolling throughout his entire body.

Bucky doesn’t want to let go of Steve.

“I’d like to see you again, Bucky. I know we didn’t have long together tonight but I think you’re special and I’d like to take you out on a proper date,” Steve practically purrs as his fingers work on Bucky’s phone, and Bucky feels like he’s about to combust on the spot.

“I’d…I’d like that, Steve,” Bucky breathes, still in awe at his luck, how this night has turned out, and how someone like Steve Rogers wants to take him out on a date. Steve’s smile reaches his eyes and then some, makes his features glow. Bucky’s fingers twitch where they rest on Steve’s hips.

“That’s good, sugar,” Steve tells him and oh, Bucky is going to be thinking of those three words all night, all week, all month. Steve slips Bucky’s phone back into his jacket pocket, taps it and lets his hand linger on Bucky’s body. “You just let me know when you wanna see me and I’ll make it happen, I’ll be there.”

“Now?” Bucky presses too quickly, too eagerly. He’s mortified for a moment, swiftly thinks of a way to play it off as a joke, but Steve’s smile is growing, features going soft and mischievous.

“Buck,” Steve breathes, coos, and this time a soft, strangled noise does slip passed Bucky’s lips. “Now doesn’t give me the proper amount of time I want with you.”

Oh.

Oh.

Bucky burns.

“Steve—”

“You’ve been drinkin’ and I don’t think your friend over there would like it if you left with me anyway, no matter how much I’d try to convince her I’d do nothin’ but take good care’a you.”

“Steve…”

Bucky doesn’t know why he says the other man’s name a second time, maybe as an excuse to watch the way Steve reacts to it, heavy eyelids and slick lips.

“Text me. Call me. Please, Buck?” he requests, hand rising back up to Bucky’s chin, the back of his knuckles running along the front of Bucky’s throat in a casual show of touch that has Bucky struggling to take air into his lungs.

“I will, I promise.”

“Mmm, I’ll talk to you later then, sugar,” Steve whispers as he ducks his head, presses his lips into Bucky’s heated cheek. Bucky wishes it were a kiss on his lips, wishes he could push Steve back into his chair and follow him, climb right into his lap. But that’s probably the vodka talking. Or his hindbrain.

Steve is slow to pull back, is slow to remove his fingers from Bucky’s chin, is slow as Bucky drops his own. He looks down at Bucky as he does so, lets his fingers slide to squeeze at Bucky’s hand as he turns, tucking his wallet back into his pocket, Clint returning with the bill.

“I’ll see you later, Buck.”

“Bye, Steve,” Bucky smiles and Steve turns on his heel and walks towards the front door and out, Bucky’s eyes on him every step of the way. As soon as the door closes, he has no choice but to turn and press his forehead against the bartop, to let out a heavy and loud exhale as he does so.

“Oh my god.”

“Well, I for one am horny after seeing such a display,” Clint shares, a low whistle following his words. Bucky giggles, Clint’s thought amusing and his own mind and body unsure of what to do with all of this pent-up energy.

“Yeah, you aren’t the only one, Clint. Jesus fucking christ, Bucky. I can’t believe what I just witnessed. Did that just happen?”

Nat settles into Steve’s old seat, Bucky reaching for her as soon as he hears her voice.

“I was hoping you could tell me. Holy shit, Nat. Is this a dream?”

Clint hums.

“Hmm, let’s see, kid,” he starts, turning to Nat. “You wanna utilize this newfound horny and capitalize on it together, Natasha?”

Bucky doesn’t see the look that Nat gives him in return but it’s enough to have Clint quickly conceding with a, “Nope, nope— not a dream. This is real life, my friend.”

“Did you get his number? Are you seeing him again?” Nat presses without much patience and Bucky is huffing out a giggle once more, raising his head up to look at Nat. He squeezes her hand.

“He gave me his number, I’m…I’m gonna see him again. Oh my god, Nat—I’m gonna see him again.”

“Hey, it’s…god I’m so sorry I had to push back plans. No, I know it’s like the fourth time I’ve done this, but I swear I have a good reason this time, swear. No, I can—yeah I can meet you there instead. I uh…no I met someone. God, Sam he’s…this one’s different. A fucking hour and I know he’s different. He's so special. I feel…god I feel so good. No, yeah I’m gonna see him again, I’m…I’m gonna see him again.”

see daddy steve and baby bucky here 💕 listen to their playlist here 💕 read more of their story here and here 💕 come shout with me here 💕

#2K celebration #howdoyousleep #my work #daddy steve #baby bucky #daddy steve and baby bucky #origin story #stucky #steve rogers and bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #i am so goddamn emotional #literally cried posting this lmao #damn these two! #please come shout with me please please please #my heart is beating so fast lmao #origin fic #meet cute #meet-cute