#sebastian stan fanfic
Favorite Crime ~ Prologue
A/N: A short intro to a Bucky fic that ran into my head today. Unbeta’d so apologies in advance!
Warnings: descriptions of fear, death, guns, blood, overall retelling of the last battle of End Game, spoilers ahead.
It seemed like the impact of the snap had reverberated across the entire battlefield. I could smell nothing but blood, smoke, and gunfire; a memory of a life I had lived before. An eerie nausea seeped deep in my stomach as I watched the alien lifeforms around us fade into the air as if they never even existed in the first place. My mind was running a million miles a minute as I finally had the chance to stop and think about what the wizard, this Dr. Strange, had told us before portaling us onto the battlefield. He said it had been five years but it only felt like a blink of an eye since the last time I had seen Steve in Wakanda.
I can still recall every moment of that day. Steve returned and told us Thanos was coming to Wakanda to end the fight once and for all. I knew fairy tales couldn’t last forever but I still wished for another second of bliss with her. before everything would come crashing down.
I remembered this feeling rushing over me. To this day I still don’t feel like I can properly put it into words what it felt like. The only feeling that had come close was the time I fell off the train back in the 40’s. And the look I saw on Steve’s face as I descended further and further down the seemingly endless mountain.
I remembered the silence most of all. Looking around at the luscious forests that I had called home for years now. The birds had long flown away, as they do when they sense incoming danger. But it seemed as if the entire Wakandan ecosystem had just...disappeared. I scanned the battlefield as far as I could see. Looking for a glimpse of her. She had been my rock since I started my deprogramming in Wakanda. She was the only person I came in contact with that never looked at me with pity or sadness. Everyone had walked around eggshells around me for as long as I can remember before she came around.
Given my track record, I was weary of trusting anyone at first. Especially her and Sam. But Steve had told me how they helped track me down and how he trusted the both of them with his life; a statement I knew he didn’t throw around easily. I remember thinking how young she was, no older than 25, but had seemingly crashed every glass ceiling she came in contact with. She was stubborn as all hell but it was that fire in her that I loved so much.
She was everything I didn’t know I needed.
I still remember the prickling sensation running down my spine as I couldn’t spot her blonde hair on the battlefield. All the hairs rose on the back of my neck. We had been all but inseparable these past two years but I had quickly lost track of her during the fight. I hadn’t even worried about her, I knew she could handle herself in the most dangerous moments life had to offer but I still felt my stomach churn as I called her name only to hear nothing but the shaking of leaves answer back. If only I had stayed by her side...
I knew immediately something wasn’t right. I could feel it deep in my soul. My heart raced and I suddenly felt a rush of fear; a feeling of pure dread spread over me as I walked closer to the man who was like a brother to me,“Steve?”
I remember falling into the soil but the impact never came. And just like that...there was nothing. I was alone like I had been for so many years before. But I could still hear her laugh, see her smile, and feel the way her skin felt as it pressed up against mine in our most vulnerable moments.
It wasn’t long after that I was opening my eyes again, on that very same field in Wakanda except this time, Steve was nowhere in sight. I heard Sam call for me over the comms and soon after was when Dr. Strange showed up in his glowing portal out of nowhere, “Thanos won. It’s been five years. We have to go now. The Avengers need us.” He spoke quickly and efficiently as if he wasn’t giving the most mind blowing information I had ever heard.
He waved his hands in the air, opening up a portal out of thin air, something I had previously only thought possible in Lovecraft novels but life continued to surprise me.
I could spot Steve right away, he was beaten and battered, but nothing I knew he hadn’t felt before except this time he held not only his broken shield, but also a hammer. I stepped through the portal, cocking my gun in the process and coming face to face with the mangled aliens I felt like I had only just defeated a few minutes ago.
“Avengers…” Steve lifted the hammer and entered a fight stance as more and more of our people came out across the field via the glowing portals. It looked like Strange had just as many friends with magic powers as we did. Again, I took a quick cast around the line up, looking for a sign of her. But still, even after five years, I couldn’t find her.
“Assemble!” I snapped myself back into reality and faced the challenge that was in front of me. I knew I would find her after the fight. I’d kiss her no matter how bloody and sweaty she was and I’d finally tell her what had been on my mind for weeks (years?) now.
But sometimes life doesn’t go as we plan and I should know that better than anyone.
The aliens fell to my bullets as easily as every enemy before them had. It seemed that with all of us working together, we could never be stopped, not even by the Mad Titan himself.
It wasn’t until long after the fight, when I finally got to catch up with Steve, he had told me that the official consensus was she had disappeared along with half of the planet on that day five years ago. I had spent hours looking for her on that battlefield after the fight. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of her coming back after five years only for her to die in this fight. But I had never found her. And that truly was the beginning of the end for me.
It’s been 42 days since all of life and living things have returned to planet Earth. And every night, I look up at the stars and pray to whoever is up there and listening, to bring her back to me.
Thoughts? Like or dislike, I’d love to hear the feedback! I still don’t have a name for the OFC so if you have any recommendations, send them my way.
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In the Meantime | Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: when Bucky took Steve out of the water he left behind everything that kept him captive the last 70 years. So he had another mission and that was restore the man he was one day. In the meantime he meets someone who helps him go through everything, his very own ride or die.
Warnings ⚠️: mentions of trauma, murders, sad bucky, fluff at the end
Author's note: I'm very insecure with almost everything I do in my life so if you're enjoying the turn the story is having please let me know. If you have any suggestions let me know as well
Four months have passed since we went to the museum. He was very quiet the first days, I had to start working so I had to leave him alone for most part of the day. He seemed to appreciate that time alone because when I returned home he helped me cook dinner, wash the dishes and even start conversations.
The first memory he told me, 4 weeks ago, was about Steve, Captain America himself, they were old friends for what he can remember. They were inseparable, he looked after him a lot because Steve was bullied and always ended up in fights.
-And then he had to wore newspaper on his shoes because he wasn't as tall as he is now, after the serum and all. He thought no one noticed but his mom and I often joked around him telling that some random guy walking by and laughing was mocking him for that- he said laughing, his smile was beautiful. He was really reliving that moment
-I can't believe it. He seems such a powerful soldier now, how things change- I answer while calming down for the outburst of laugh.
-Yeah... I guess some things can change after all- he said with one last smile and looking down at his glass of wine.
-So... what happened to you all this years? Any news on that subject?
-I got blurry memories, the things I recall I'm not ready to tell you yet- he said looking in the eyes with total honesty.
-I get that, it's okay, whenever you're ready. Maybe if you didn't tell me and talked with another person...- I said trying to sugest something and he interrupted me.
-There's no way I'm going to a therapist, I told you- he said, not mad, not screaming, just resigned
-I don't even know what is legal and what no anymore. I can't talk about my past or the things that keep me up at night because I'm going to end up in jail or in a mental institution.
-James you have to talk to me then, I can help you. But if you keep drifting me apart I won't be able to understand and do something about your situation- I said grabbing his flesh hand and playing with his fingers while he watched my moves.
-It's just...- he seemed so embarrassed- Okay remember the other day while we were watching the magic box? The girl in there talked about The Winter Soldier?- he said looking to my eyes, he was having a hard time talking to me. We had passed the times where he couldn't talked to me and now we were back.
-What about it?- I said listening carefully
-Well I'm him, I'm the ghost story, the winter soldier- he said putting his hands in his face and rubbing his eyes.
I didn't know what to do with that information, I mean I support him because clearly he didn't want to do all the things the TV said he did, he didn't behave like a serial killer, but in the other hand what could I do? A newbie journalist in a city far away from home, with none experience at all in this sort of things, super soldiers, avengers, villains kind of thing. But I was going to find a way, something will come up. For now he have to stay low profile. I was thinking on finding him a job or anything but now this changes everything. He can't leave the house because any minute now the FBI, CIA, Captain America or Iron Man is gonna show up in my door and take him. And neither of us wanted that.
-Please say something- he is scared of my reaction, I can tell that.
-I'm not mad or scared Buck, I just need to know, why you did all those things that lady said?- After the problems in D.C. all Hydra and the Avengers's files and secrets were out in the web for everyone to read. The media began to inquire and found a lot of stuff to harm everyone. But something was clear, that ghost story was real. Since that file went public every single wrongful murder in the last 70 years made sense. It made an impact on people, in the media I worked it's a news that must cover any section everyday.
-I... I'm sorry Y/N, I told you it was bad, I never meant to do all that things, but I'm starting to remember everything, and every victim, every moment, I recall their faces and their fear and that is what keeps me up at night, I'm sorry- he said again, looking at me and rubbing his eyes in an attempt to hold his tears back. His voice was shaky- If you want me to go I will, if you are here protecting me... if they got me... they will lock you up as an accomplice- he grab gently my face so I can look him in the eyes- I don't want anything bad happens to you.
-It's okay, I'm not letting you go anywhere Buck, I just want to know what is happening. What happened with all of that murders? What make you do it?- I said trying to understand, grabbing his hands and intertwining our fingers.
-In the war they captured me, they tested in me some variation of the super soldier' serum the states used on Steve- he said looking at some spot in the wall. Our hands still together
-Who are they?- he turned his gaze to me.
-HYDRA, the scientific division of Hitler, they were the ones trying to create the perfect soldier and the superior race humans. They used enemies soldier to test in them. Anyway when I fell off the train in 44 they captured me, they brainwashed me and put me in cryogenesis to sleep until I was useful again. They said I was shaping the century, whatever that means. I don't recall having a life other than those damn words and the moment I kill the target- that last words were the ones that break him, it was something so big what was he telling me. Of course, hearing his story for the point of view of what they say on the news he was a deadliest mercenary but in reality he is the victim here not the victimizer.
-What words bae?- I said unconsciously, cleaning one of the tears on his cheek.
-They programmed me to kill, so each time I wake up from being frozen I tried to run, leave the place, found Steve, Mr. Stark, my family, someone who can help me. But all those years of lobotomies paid the price and after some time instead of fried my brain they said a bunch of words that had the same effect, the effect to put me in the winter soldier mood, ready to comply every task they gave me- I look in his eyes, after all he said tonight I think he is relieved, obviously he is sad, and we're not even close to his sanity but this was a hell of a step, he did so much by remember all this things and telling me. Now we can work together and focus on restore the man he was before Hydra, the brainwash, the war, everything.
-Okay now, is there anything else you want to talk with me?- I asked, waiting for him to feel comfortable again to talk like he just did.
-Maybe in another time- he looked tired- I just wanna go to sleep and thank the gods they sent me you- he said and my heart shudder. I wasn't going to lie, the last month was something, he was a very kind man, caring and tender. There were days when he didn't want to came out of his room, and I understood that. But the other days where just wonderful. I was developing some kind of feelings towards him but come on, he was a 100 year old men who was really trying to understand the 21st century and help me with everything that surpasses me. It was impossible not to fall.
And that was the night I knew his story, who he was the last 70 years. In the museum we found a little thread that we kept pulling from until found out all he has told me. I suspect that there is more. But the last time was a lot of information. He and I were overwhelmed so it was fine not to talk about that for a while, he will when he is ready. Besides I wanted to give him a rest.
I had an idea, something that might help him. There was a veteran support group near my home, he could even walk there. I have to convince him tho that was the difficult part. He was so terrified of anyone recognizing him that he nearly left the house.
-What do you wanna eat tonight Bubby?- he said my nickname, since I told him that was how my father call me when I was little he didn't call me other way and I found it adorable. He walk in the kitchen and pour two glasses of wine. We we're watching a movie in the living room, I was relaxing after a long day of work, it was finally friday. Lately those were my favorite days because the next 48 hours I could spent time with my favorite super soldier. Truth is the feelings towards him were growing stronger. It scared me a little but that was it. I couldn't deny the reality.
-I don't know, maybe we can order something?
-Okay, I pay- he said with a huge smile
-What you've heard, I got my money now- he said very proud of himself, sitting beside me again in the couch.
-How...?- I said in disbelief, as far as I'm concerned he didn't have a job, he didn't even leave the house when I was at work.
-Well... there is a mechanic shop a few blocks from here, I was walking one day and he needed help with one car and we kind of made friends, we don't talk much tho, just fix cars together and he pays me for that- he walked me through his job, he was saving his money to take me out for dinner but he wasn't so sure to step into the public yet. But he was delighted with the idea of deliveries. Back in the day that wasn't so common.
-I'm impressed, you are a big kid now- I said giving smiling and giving him a kiss on his cheek- I'm so proud of you. You are the strongest men on earth.
-Thank you bubs, I was motivated because I want one of those things in my bedroom- he said pointing at the TV.
-Ohhh I like that idea, it's good to have something that motivates you- he looked at me and smile, he moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders- Can you order the food from your telephone?
-Yes, I'll call right now- I deal the number asked for the pizza and we waited for it while watching the movie together.
After the dinner we stayed in the kitchen a while, talking about how things have changed from the 20th century to the 21st, what he loved the most about the future and what he missed from the 40s.
-I know a place, you can go after your job. I think you would like it, or maybe just give it a try you know- I said looking at him while playing with my fingers, I was a little nervous.
-There is a veteran support group 5 minutes from here. I think you can share life experiences with them, maybe you can find yourself comfortable there- I looked at him, waiting for his expressions. I didn't want him to think I didn't wanted to hear him or I wasn't interested in his stories- they might have more psychological tools that I have. I don't know, it was just a thought.
-I found extremely kind and loving you spending time on thinking how can I feel more comfortable or better- he smiled at me, I felt relieved- I'm going to give it a try- he stopped- when I'm ready
-YES! Thank you buck- I hug him and stayed there for a while, between his arms. It was the first time we were this close. At first he didn't react, but after a while he wrapped his arms around me and hide his face in my neck. He gave me a kiss in my cheek and immediately got away from me.
-I think I'm going to go to the bed now, I was a lovely night Y/N- he said as he used to every night.
-Have a good night Buck- I watched him walked away from the kitchen. I was so proud of him. But there were boundaries that got him tensed, we were gonna get there and break those. I knew it.
@ginger-swag-rapunzel @dopegothlampknight @ranprivate
If you wanna be tagged please let me know 🖤❤
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Being Bucky’s Younger Sister Headcanon
bucky barnes masterlist
Being Bucky Barnes younger sister was never easy especially when everyone in Brooklyn was scared of the soldier who was constantly ending his best friends fights.
When you were young it was hard to make friends as nobody wanted to be around your older brother in fear he would interrogate them.
Bucky s number one priority was your safety. Whenever you were in town the older boy always held your hand to ensure you couldn’t run off.
The both of you always the closest out of all your siblings and your brother always make sure to be home in time to tuck you in.
“Okay munchkin, let’s get you to be otherwise you’ll be cranky tomorrow.” He said picking you up and carrying you into your small bedroom. “Right my little munchkin what shall we read tonight?” He continued with a smile as he watched the small yawn exit your mouth.
“Nothing just want cuddle.” You told him whilst making grabby hands.
When Bucky announced he was going to fight in the war it was almost as if your heart shattered.
“You can’t leave Buck! I need you here!” You told your brother as tears streamed down your face. “Munchkin you have to understand I don’t have a choice they’re making me go.” He told you his heart breaking when you pulled away from his embrace and ran away.
Once the day came for Bucky to leave for war you were still ignoring him and he knew you were only doing to avoid crying. “Munchkin, I need to go now I love you and remember if you need anything you have Stevie.”
Soon after Bucky left, Steve joined the war leaving you alone again. Which meant it was time to start making friends.
Four years later Bucky and Steve returned home excited to have some time with their family. It was almost as if they expected to see the same nine year old doe eyed girl to come running toward them.
They weren’t expecting the young woman that appeared in front of them dressed in the proper attire. “Munchkin you grew!” Bucky exclaimed shocked and saddened that he missed out on watching you blossom into a beautiful young woman. “Buck your back!” You shouted before running into his arms feeling safe once again.
Things quickly fell into place and you were back to only caring about your older brother and what he thought. “So when are you going to introduce Bucky to your partner?” Your older sister said with a smug smirk.
“Partner? You better not be dating!” The two men said not fond with this information. “Tell whoever this partner is that Captain America will kick their ass if they hurt you!” Steve said
The day your brother met said partner was the day you almost lost them.
“Listen here punk you ever hurt her I will hunt you down and kill you understood.” Your brother finished his speech and continued to stare at your lover.
Even though the days of you following Bucky and Steve around like a lost puppy were over the soldier knew you’d always need your brother.
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“Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.” w/ Carter Baizen? 🥰
is it hot in here?? im sweating jfc
** nsfw!! minors dni !!
1.5k sleepover + list e
carter was a cocky son of a bitch most of the time. sometimes it was hot, and other times.. other times it was really hot.
carter couldn’t help but tease you, he felt obligated to. especially when you’d pout and whine at him, just begging him to do something. to touch you.
and tonight he was feeling extra mischievous while you were at a party. he’d disappear for a bit and then return only to whisper something nasty into your ear, or to grab your ass, or to rub against you.
you’d finally had enough when he pulled you into his chest, whispering very quietly, “when we get home i’m gonna fuck you so hard the neighbors know me by name.”
his words went straight to your core, your breaths deepening just enough for him to notice. you could feel his chest rumble with his quiet laughter and you turned, placing your hands against his chest as you pushed him backward and down the hall.
“where are we going?” he whispered with a smirk.
“shut up,” you grumbled, pulling him quickly until you found an open room.
you kissed him when you entered, your tongue slipping into his mouth as you whined. he quickly picked you up and carried you over to the bed, dropping you with a grin.
“my needy little thing,” he teased, unbuttoning his white shirt, “you just couldn’t wait, could you?”
you shook your head, your eyes pleading more than your words ever could.
carter hummed and pulled up a chair from the other side of the room, laughing at your puzzled expression.
“lay back and touch yourself. i wanna watch.”
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Kissing Prompt: 13 with Bucky please!
A/N: Hi anon! Thanks for the request 😊 I was rewatching FATWS and that "If he was wrong about you then he was wrong about me" scene makes me SOB every time, so this blurb happened lol. I hope you like it!
Click here to request a blurb!
KISSING PROMPT #13: frustrated kisses
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Word count: 979
Warnings: Language (F word)
[gif by @thewhitewolfisaguardian]
The sound of the bag hitting the floor and the door slamming shut was all you needed to know that Bucky was home. It was almost midnight, he had called you from jail about an hour and a half ago, and since then you had been staring at the door waiting for him wide awake with the TV serving little as a distraction.
He looks at you from the entrance, and from the look in your eyes he just knows that you are about to lecture him. "Please don't." He says, turning on his heels to head into the kitchen.
"Don't what?" You ask as you stand up to follow him, your voice stern and desperate to reach him. "You call me from a police station and expect me to don't do what, exactly?" Bucky opens the fridge and grabs a beer for himself, not looking at you as he opens it and takes a gulp. "Bucky, I'm just trying to understand-" You cut yourself as he turns his back to you and slams his beer on the counter, startling you. "Jesus Christ, James, I only want to know-."
"I don't know fucking know, alright!" He finally looks at you, his voice louder than it should be at this time of the night. "Whatever it is that you want to know, I probably don't have the answer to it."
"You can't talk to me like that!" You snap back. "You call me at 10:45 at night telling me you were arrested, then your therapist calls me to ask if I know why you have been missing your sessions because she has to basically BAIL YOU OUT of jail,” His body turns half way so he can lean on the kitchen counter, the grip he has on it making his knuckles turn white. “And I can’t get a fucking explanation?”
“That’s all you want? An explanation?” Bucky scoffs, and you are not sure if you have ever seen him so angry. “Well, how’s this. That shield, the one Steve protected with his life, the one that represented everything we ever stood for, it means nothing now!”
“So that’s why you skip therapy?” Bucky rolls his eyes and you can see him biting the inside of his mouth to not scream back at you. “That’s the one thing that will clear your name, and you just skip it?”
“Why should I even go?” He yells, “That shield is in the hands of that Walker asshole, Sam doesn’t give a damn about it, and Steve didn’t give a damn about me. What am I supposed to do, huh?”
“Buck.” You interrupt, shocked at his quivering voice, because the pain in the words he just spoke about Steve was something he had never mentioned before, and the blatant way he says it makes you realize that frustration is making him blurt out all his thoughts; he doesn’t seem to notice it, doesn’t seem to register what just came out of his mouth.
He looks at you with angry eyes and a puffing chest, expecting you to continue talking. “Why the fuck am I still fighting for something that is no longer here?” He keeps asking, shaking at every word, and the tone in his voice should have made you turn around and leave but instead you are walking towards him even after he has done nothing but scream at you since he got home.
“Bucky, baby, just-” You try again, but his ranting interrupts you.
“What’s the point of all this fucking therapy, and all this fights, if I’m doing it for someone who-”
“Bucky, look at me!” You insist, holding his face between your hands to force him to look at you. His eyebrows are knotted and his nostrils flare at every breath, but his eyes don’t match the anger, instead they are filled with confusion and… plain sadness.
So you kiss him, pulling his head towards yours in a firm grip, hoping that with it he can slow down his train of thought and bring him back to you. His breathing starts to slow down as his lips move along with yours, and when you feel his hands holding your waist you know you have his attention back. You pull apart slowly, and you can see he is still trying to figure out how to feel and what to say “You are a good man, that’s why you are still fighting.” Your hands caress his light stubble while his find the skin under your shirt to draw small circles on it. “And I will never understand Steve, but he knew that too.”
“He was wrong.” He states, his voice raspy and knotted. If you could, you would go back in time and kick Steve Rogers right in the crotch.
“He was, but not about you.” The tears that form in his eyes rip your heart apart. “Never about you.” You whisper, assuringly.
Bucky kisses you again, looking to feel grounded as he always does when he has your lips against his. He doesn’t let go for a few minutes, because you are the one constant thing that makes him feel like he is doing something right and he wants to cling to that feeling for as long as he can. He lifts you with ease so you can sit on the counter, giving him an easier access to reach the rest of your body while his lips are still connected to yours.
You break apart after a few minutes and you immediately look for his eyes, much calmer and softer than the last time you saw them. His metal fingers grab your hand softly to lift it to his lips. There’s no need to say any word as your gaze meets his, you just let yourself wrap around him to bandage every wound that his past left behind on him.
Thanks for reading! Reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!
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✨2K Follower Sleepover✨
Hi angels! I’m dangerously close to 2k followers (what??!? 🥺💖) and so I wanted to celebrate with my first lil’ sleepover from June 25 - June 27th so start sending in requests!!
Sleepover is 18+
I just need to stress how incredibly dumbfounded I am that I’ve gained this many followers in such little time. I love every single one of you and you’ve brought so much joy into my life 🥰
Ask me something! Literally anything! Related to my writing, kinks, or just general hoeness vibes 💗 I pride myself in being a totally open book
Send me a request for a drabble.. anything goes! (Wellllllll except scat or things involving minors k thx)
Would you rather & fuck marry kiss.. or any variation of this game 💖
Literally send me anything you want and we will make it happen. We can thirst over beautiful men togetherrrrr
I love you guys so much. Let’s be slutty together!
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What if Bucky and the reader are in a relationship and he finds out he’s really into being a pleasure dom and wants to try it with the reader? 👀
Pleasure Dom Bucky, yes please 😩 you just know that mf would take such good care of you after a long stressful week. Honestly, this one took me a hot minute to write because I had to do some research for it lmao, I hope it’s okay!
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word count: 5.6k
Summary: You have a terribly long week at work so Bucky helps you relax
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it pls), PleasureDom!Bucky, sub reader, pet names, praise kink, degradation, size kink, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, oral (f receiving), somnophilia (done with consent established previously), daddy kink, the dog tags make an appearance, mention of safe words, overstimulation, lil voyeurism (watching yourselves in a mirror), light humiliation
Minors, do not interact
What had started out as a week with very little in your calendar soon turned into an absolute killer. You weren’t quite sure how your time got filled up so quickly, wall to wall meetings scheduled into your diary, leaving you hardly any time to even breathe. The meetings themselves weren’t even the worst part, the worst was knowing that after your work day had officially ended, you had endless catching up to do for your other projects and then all the planning for the meetings the following day. Your sleep was limited, as was Bucky’s. He hated going to bed without you, tossing and turning in the sheets for hours until you eventually gave in and joined him. As the week went on you found yourself only getting more and more stressed. By Friday you were almost ready to lie in bed and not move all weekend, just hoping Monday wouldn’t bring more of the same torture.
When 5pm on Friday rolled around, Bucky was standing waiting at the door to your study, adamant that your laptop would be switched off and hidden from you all weekend, along with your work mobile. You huffed out a little tired laugh, rubbing your sleepy eyes as you surrendered your gadgets, not even wanting to put up a fight, just glad to see the back of such an awful week. Bucky had let you choose a takeout to order from, keen to get some real food in you before making sure you got a good long rest to combat those dark circles forming under your eyes. Within 20 minutes of finishing dinner, your sleepy eyes became too heavy to hold open. Bucky hated seeing you so worn out, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to bed, thankful that you had changed into your pyjamas before the food had arrived so he wouldn’t have to disturb you too much. His heart melted at the sight of you clinging to his thin cotton pyjama top, craving the comfort his body afforded you even when you were sleeping.
But God, waking up the next morning, he was reminded of exactly how much comfort your body afforded him. Your hair was fanned out on the pillow gently, your face looking so relaxed compared to how it had been all week, long eyelashes casting shadows on your cheeks in the early morning sunlight. Your little snores were still deep but fuck, the sight of you in only his shirt and a thin pair of panties had him harder than he could’ve believed possible without being touched. Suddenly, the room felt stiflingly hot, his whole body itching to touch you, to make you forget all about that terrible week, fucking all thoughts from your head until you couldn’t think of anything never mind work. He put it down to the fact that he had hardly so much as kissed you goodnight all week, his body going into overdrive from the pent up longing and frustration.
He couldn’t help how he noticed everything about your body this morning, the way your nipples pebbled quickly when he slipped his cool metal hand under your shirt to gently grab at your breasts, doing his very best to contain his satisfaction at the way you tried to lean into his touch. He also didn’t miss how your body responded when he ran one flesh finger over your clothed core, a little groan falling from your parted lips when he added a little extra pressure to your clit. He loved how your body was just so intoxicating, always ready to take him. After a few more teasing glides across your core he pulled your panties to the side, finding your body was reacting to him nicely, wetness beginning to drip from your needy hole. Without thinking, he shuffled down the bed, his tongue poked out, lapping gently at the sweet nectar he had drew from your body. He was so hard now it almost hurt, noticing how even in your sleep, the wetness between your legs only grew. Tiny whimpers fell from your lips as he pressed a metal finger to your entrance, sliding in with ease, tongue lapping gently at your clit.
“So delicious toots, takin’ me so well.” He whispered, knowing you couldn’t hear him but still needing to tell you. Your hands grasped at the sheets, fingers gently bunching them, stirring from your sleep but not quite conscious yet. Your walls were fluttering around the single digit, your high not far away.
“Christ, Bucky.” You whined, eyelids flickering open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room and make sense of the overwhelming sensations between your legs at the same time. “What are you doing?”
“Havin’ a little breakfast babydoll, jus’ let me take care of you. Wanna make you feel good all day, okay? You aren’t leavin’ this bed.” His voice was so low and seductive, lips latching back onto your clit and his finger curling inside you. You could only nod, whining as the pleasure became too much, keening against his face to ride your orgasm out against his tongue. “Tha’s it toots, gimme more. Good girl.” He encouraged, working his finger even faster, prolonging your high for as long as possible. God he got off on this, your needy moans nearly too much for him to handle. But no matter how much precum leaked from his swollen tip, no matter how badly he needed to cum, so long as you were getting off, his pleasure was only an afterthought to him.
“Well good morning to you too.” You huffed out a little laugh as his finger eventually slid out of you.
“Sorry baby, couldn’t resist.” He smirked, wiping his now glistening chin with the back of his flesh hand.
“No complaints here Buck, it was better waking up to that than an inbox full of emails.” You chuckled, stroking his hair lovingly.
“It had better be, if you’d rather have the emails I’d be offended.” He laughed softly stroking the inside of your thigh with his flesh thumb. “But if you talk about work anymore I’ll have to gag you.” His voice was light and teasing.
“Maybe some other time Buck.” You chuckled, running a hand gently through his messy bed head, your high ebbing pleasantly away as your feet hit the plush carpet of your bedroom.
“Ah ah ah toots, what did I tell you? You aren’t leavin’ this bed today. Gotta make you feel good til you can’t think of anything but me.” He reached out, grabbing your legs to pull you back onto the bed, lips latched onto the soft meat of your thighs, fingernails digging into your flesh gently as he kissed you, a fire burning fiercely behind his eyes once more. God he meant it. You really weren’t going to get a minute’s rest today.
“I was thinkin’ babydoll, how many meetings did you have yesterday?” He asked thoughtfully in between sloppy kisses to the sensitive skin of your thighs
“Eight honey, why?” You managed to choke out.
“Wanna give you that many orgasms.” He stated bluntly as if it was the most normal request in the world. You knew very often Bucky got as much pleasure from making you cum as he got from cumming himself but this suggestion was something else. His lips on your thighs felt amazing, the little dusting of stubble burning as his face drifted up the inside of your legs, his eyes never leaving yours
“There’s no way I can handle eight.” You whispered, losing yourself slightly to the pleasure of his mouth on your sensitive skin.
“Course you can little slut, that’s one down, only seven to go. That’ll keep you nice and busy won’t it? By the time I’m done, work will be the last thing on your mind.” He made it sound so easy, so lovely, like it was absolutely manageable, enjoyable even, but you knew better than to dream of gentle orgasms, soft touches and sweet kisses. You knew that when Bucky got into the mindset that everything he did was entirely for your pleasure, it was all about tearing you orgasms from your trembling body in the quickest succession possible, one barely ending before the next began. This was the first time he had ever suggested such an intense session. His kisses got sloppier, his wet mouth making you groan as it connected with you core once more, panties pushed to the side. Fuck, his tongue felt incredible, broad, firm strokes over the entire length of your dripping sex. You pressed your lips together to stifle your noises, your hands sinking into the soft, dark hair on Bucky’s head to pull his face closer to where you needed him most.
“If you’re holdin’ those pretty noises back toots, I’ll add another orgasm on as punishment.” He quipped, mouth creating a seal around your clit before sucking hard to pull the filthiest moan from you he had ever heard. He was in his element, hard and needy and damn near ready to hump the bed beneath him for some relief but determined to absolutely wreck you before he could even think of his own pleasure. Without saying much more, he slid two metal fingers into you, admiring how they slipped in with so little resistance.
“That’s it, oh God you take me so well. Know exactly what your body needs baby, need to be fucked like a whore don’t ya? Gonna make sure you can’t even think straight by the time I’m done with ya.” He was almost growling in between little kitten licks to your clit, fingers plunging in and out of you, rubbing your silky walls perfectly.
“Bucky, more, fuck.” You hissed out, grinding your hips against his hand. The vibrations from the little laugh he let out in response felt amazing.
“God doll, you’re not gonna be begging for more by the time I’m done with you. Gonna have you begging me to stop. But since you were a good girl this week, I’m sure I could play nice for now.” He laughed, lips and tongue crashing against your clit, fingers working faster and his eyes trained on your face as he tore another orgasm from your body. You groaned out, rutting against his face, your juices soaking his fingers and tongue as you rode out your high, panting and whimpering deliciously for him.
“Good girl honey, did so well. Want you to ride me now, yeah? Want that little body on top of me. You just gotta use me to make yourself feel good doll, don’t even worry bout makin’ me cum. Want as many of those pretty moans as you can give me before your legs give out.” His filthy plans had you whimpering, knowing that when your legs turned to jelly from too many orgasms, that didn’t mean you’d be stopping. It just meant he would take over. You did as he asked, hopping up onto your knees while Bucky undressed himself, giving his proud, hard cock a few lazy pumps watching you remove your pyjamas. You positioned yourself above him, his metal hand lined his cock up with your soaked, already abused hole. Sinking down onto his length tore groans from both of you, Bucky’s flesh hand gripping your waist to stop himself from pushing you the whole way down too quickly.
“Tightest fuckin’ pussy, you feel so good for daddy. God kitten, this pussy is so hungry isn’t it? Needs me, I can feel it. You need daddy’s cock to make you feel good? Gonna take such good care of you.” He was losing himself in the feeling of your silky walls gripping him, wetter than he could ever remember you being before. But god, you had six more orgasms ahead of you, how on Earth was he gonna make it if you got any wetter? The thick drag of his bare cock inside you was almost more than you could take as you pulled yourself back up his length again, sinking down quickly until he was entirely seated inside you.
“So so big daddy, I can’t.” You wailed, the sloppy sounds coming from your pussy fuelling you to keep going regardless.
“Yes you can angel, doin’ so well for daddy. So tight around me, can hardly move. Nothin’ feels as good as you do. Fuckin’ live to be buried in this little pussy, you know that?” His filthy pants had you rolling your hips faster against him, not really fucking him, more grinding your pelvis against his with his length fully seated inside you. It was such a different sensation to being fucked, it just made you feel endlessly full, the thickness of Bucky’s cock stuffing you, the head nestled deliciously against that sweet spot inside you. Every little grind of your hips had him nudging that spot inside you, making your eyes roll back and your head flop to the side. And Bucky was absolutely obsessed. He couldn’t find it in himself to tear his eyes away from you, not knowing whether he wanted to watch how your breasts jiggled as you moved, watch down at the mess you were making where your bodies were joined or watch the look of sheer pleasure on your face. He loved seeing you take what you needed from him, knowing that he was still in control but letting you use his body to satisfy yourself.
“So deep ‘nside you toots, bet you can feel me in here.” He pressed his metal hand to your lower tummy, the coolness making you gasp. Everything felt like it was too much but the grind alone wasn’t enough to tear your building orgasm from you and of course Bucky knew that.
“Tell me what you need, tell me and I’ll give it to you.” Bucky whispered softly, lips dusting chaste kisses on your shoulders, flesh arm wrapped up your back, helping you move against him.
“Fingers daddy, on my clit.” You pleaded, eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hanging open slightly.
“Magic word toots?” He teased with a little laugh, flesh fingers dancing over your clit torturously.
“Metal ones daddy, please.” Your whine would have been mortifying under any other circumstances but right now, you didn’t care. Bucky raised an eyebrow at your little request, secretly thrilled that you got so much pleasure from his metal digits.
“Filthy girl.” He whispered, replacing his flesh hand with his metal one, rubbing between your bodies in harsh circles. The cool fingers felt even better, the ridges in the unrelenting metal only added to the sensations threatening to consume your body. It didn’t take long for you to feel yourself tightening, Bucky’s movements never even faltering as you hit your peak.
“That’s it, cum for me, good girl, hump Daddy’s big cock. Know how much you need this, know you love daddy fillin’ you up.” His eyes were completely trained on your face, loving how it screwed up in response to the words he mumbled in the quiet, early morning air. Your gasps didn’t stop as your high started to subside, mainly because his fingers didn’t stop. You tried your best to pull away, becoming far too sensitive very quickly but Bucky’s flesh hand on your hip held you in place.
“Want another one out of you before I let you move.” He whispered, fingers only speeding up against your overstimulated bundle of nerves.
“Can’t take it daddy, it’s too much!” You sobbed, face buried into the crook of his neck as your body twitched around him, another peak fast approaching. You knew you could’ve said your safe word if you needed to but deep down you knew you could handle it.
“I know you want it angel, c’mon, stop holdin’ back.” He growled, rubbing you even faster, dragging you screaming into yet another orgasm. You couldn’t help but bite down on his flesh shoulder as you came, your body shuddering, wet nectar dripping out of you and down over his balls.
“Oh fuck, soakin’ me, you know that? Pussy is drippin’ everywhere. Such a wet little slut for daddy, aren’t ya cupcake? Such a good girl.” Bucky’s praise only made your walls flutter even more, pulling a growl from his throat. Before you even got a chance to register what was going on, Bucky had you flipped over, ass in the air, face down on the bed with his cock still inside you.
“Can’t wait anymore toots, need this.” He grunted, fucking into you recklessly. You could’ve screamed from the overstimulation, body trembling, walls still trying to milk Bucky’s thick cock. Again, your last orgasm didn’t even get a chance to ebb away before you were being worked towards another one. Your back arched into the bed of its own accord, letting Bucky fuck deeper into you. Your whimpers mingled with Bucky’s grunts, sounds of skin slapping on skin filling the house.
“Pussy’s still clenchin’ me so tight, you’ve no idea how good you make me feel. Body’s always so ready for me.” Bucky was almost growling, his own need almost entirely taking over, eager to cum so he could get back to focusing on giving you as much pleasure as you could handle.
“Thank daddy for fuckin’ you. Thank me for givin’ you my cock raw like this.” He groaned, fingers drifting between your thighs to play with your swollen bud once more.
God, this was humiliating and you were loving every single second.
“Thank you daddy! Love your cock so much, think about nothing else. Love how you fuck me, love how big it feels, love your cum, just need more daddy please.” Your words were only broken by little gasps, Bucky fucking into you harder than you even thought possible.
“Tha’s it, God yes, takin’ me like a good girl, my best girl. Little pussy so hungry for daddy’s cum. That never changes, does it honey? Should just keep you plugged and full of me all the time. Only thing that could keep your needy cunt happy, isn’t it? Just a little cum whore. Gonna give you a load now baby, okay? Keep that little face pressed to the bed and ass up, want it all drippin’ as deep ‘nside you as it can get. Don’t want a single drop spillin’.” Sometimes you wonder where Bucky possibly learned to talk so dirty but right now you didn’t care, teetering on the brink of a fifth orgasm as you lowered yourself the way he wanted, his cock nudging your cervix in this new position.
“So deep daddy,” you whimpered, muffled slightly by the thick duvet as he pounded into you. His fingers rolling perfectly against your clit was enough to tear you apart, your body shaking, fingers squeezing the sheets as you rode out the electric feeling shooting the whole way through your body. That was all it took to drag Bucky over the edge too, not able to hold back with how your walls were tightening around him, milking every drop of cum into your body.
“So tight toots, can’t even move.” He groaned, stilling his movements to stay pressed right at the deepest point inside you. The warm feeling of his cum exploding into you was almost more than you could handle, knowing every drop had to stay there to keep Bucky happy. His fingers didn’t stop moving against your clit though, tearing as many aftershocks from your over worked body as you could muster.
“Bet there’s so much cum in you now.” He whispered proudly, kissing down your spine despite the thin sheen of sweat, slowly pulling out and humming appreciatively when there wasn’t even the slightest indication of the mess he had made inside you. You felt absolutely boneless, knowing you were over the half way mark but still nowhere near finished yet.
“Three left honey, how ya feeling?” He cooed softly, taking a second to stroke your hair and dote on you. His cock hadn’t softened at all but it rarely ever did after only cumming once during such an intense session.
“Feel good Buck, sensitive.” You whispered, flopping onto the bed with your eyes closed, sucking in deep breaths to steady yourself.
“Think you can take some more for me?” He asked quietly, placing tiny kisses to your shoulders and neck. You could do nothing but hum contentedly, letting him give you as much affection as he wanted.
“Need you to use your words sweetheart. Didn’t make you, dumb already, did I?” He chuckled, making you open your eyes to see that dashing smile
“Want more daddy, I can take it.” You nodded gently, noticing how his smile only widened at your eagerness.
“I’m so in love with you, ya know that?” He beamed, giving you a gentle kiss that was all teeth and tight lips, his smile still so evident on his face. “Won’t mind though if you need to stop. Want you to enjoy this babydoll.”
“No Buck, I can keep going. But we can cuddle afterwards, yeah?” You asked, placing a little tired kiss to his knuckles of his flesh hand.
“Oh honey, when we’re done here, we can do whatever you like. This weekend’s about you, jus’ wanna make you feel good.” He agreed, heart aching at the sight of you looking so beautifully fucked out and still asking him for more.
“Thank you daddy.” You smiled lazily, knowing it would get him right back in the mood to fuck you relentlessly through the final three.
Bucky groaned hearing the title fall from your lips again when he was least expecting it, cock bobbing deliciously in agreement.
“Fuck princess, you’re gonna be the death of me you know that?” He laughed, metal hand falling to grip his aching cock. “Jus’ you lie there angel, lemme do the work this time.” You sure weren’t going to argue, pressing your head back on the soft pillows as Bucky positioned you how he wanted you, slotting neatly between your spread thighs. Despite how kinky Bucky was, missionary was still one of his all time favourite positions. It was simple, comfortable, uncomplicated and he loved being able to see your face contort as he takes you apart, not to mention the perfect bounce of your tits when he slams into you. Bucky lined up with your soaked pussy, taking the time to make sure none of his seed from the last round had spilled from your core. Once he was satisfied that it was only your own juices that were coating your thighs, he pressed in, revelling in the gasp you let out.
“So warm and wet babydoll.” He hissed, head thrown back as he set a decent pace, thrusting in and out with his metal hand pressed to your lower tummy. “Swear I can feel myself in here, just so deep ‘nside you, aren’t I?” You couldn’t really believe how your body was still craving him, still needing more even though you were so fucked out already. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to reply, almost every coherent thought having been fucked from your head. The soft clinking of metal had you opening your eyes. But when did you close them? You had no idea, and far less did you care upon seeing Bucky hovering on top of you, his dog tags swinging in front of your face. Somewhere deep inside your brain you registered that he must’ve pulled them from the nightstand when your eyes had been shut but there was something about them that just made the sex that little bit better. He knew how much you loved them too, smirking down at you as he continued his leisurely thrusts.
“Like what you see?” His voice was deep and seductive, close to only being a low rumble. His abs rippled with every push into your tight heat, little grunts slipping past his lips occasionally, a light flush on his cheeks from arousal. What was there to not like about Bucky Barnes? You could only nod, trying to press your hips closer to his pelvis, wanting to pull him deeper than even should have been possible.
“God, you can’t get enough can you? My cock that addictive honey?” He teased, flesh fingers toying with your clit. You cried out quietly at the feeling, not understanding how you could possibly still need more. Pushing yourself up on your elbows, you reached up, taking those jingling dog tags in your mouth, lips wrapping neatly around the chain. Bucky thought once more that he might cum then and there, just at the sight of your little pretty mouth enveloping his tags, the metallic taste covering your tongue.
“Need your slutty mouth filled too baby? Should’ve said somethin’, coulda had my fingers ‘nstead. But maybe you couldn’t tell me? Can’t get any words out now, can you? Daddy’s cock knocked all thoughts out of that little head, hm? That’s okay angel, daddy doesn’t need you to think, jus’ need you to cum. Think you can do that for me?” Your legs were shaking but you nodded you head regardless. As Bucky had been talking, he had dialled everything up a notch, fucking you faster, rubbing you in tighter circles, everything just felt incredible, your orgasm so close once more.
“Ah, daddy, please.” You pleaded, absolutely no idea what you were even pleading for anymore other than release. Bucky chuckled lowly from somewhere deep in his chest before giving you what you had begged for, pressing a little harder on your clit, rubbing in the same tights circles, dragging you through a painfully intense orgasm. Your teeth bit down on the hard metal in your mouth, trying to stifle the screams and whines that fell from you as every single vein in your body throbbed, desire washing through you violently. Bucky was completely and utterly obsessed with you, coaching you through your high with the same filthy grunts and promises that you had learned to expect from him.
As your high subsided, Bucky didn’t slow, if anything he just fucked you faster, not chasing his own release yet but loving how you looked like you had been fucked absolutely senseless, eyes rolling back, head crooked to the side, fingernails digging into his flesh, dog tags still in your mouth.
“You’re a fuckin’ picture like this doll, so beautiful for me. Can’t believe you’re all mine.” His thrusts had your tits bouncing back and forth, jiggling even more as you squirmed, trying to move away from him given how painfully overstimulated you were becoming. You screamed and yelled as his fingers picked up speed, slipping around from the insane amount of slick that had dripped from your hole.
“Come on little whore, cum for daddy, give it to me. Silly little slut can’t do anything but cum, can you? So fuckin’ good at it, no thoughts left in that pretty head of yours, daddy fucked them all out didn’t he? Love seein’ you like this, greedy pussy takin’ everything I give it. You’re an angel, you know that? My angel. Body’s always so ready for me.” Bucky’s voice was deep, strangled and needy, working you as fast as he could. Your legs couldn’t hold still as he pounded you, metal hand still pressing on your tummy so you could feel his cock even deeper inside you. It was all too fucking much, that ball of need inside you exploding once more making you scream, thrashing around under his huge body. Your rhythmic squeezing had him groaning, screwing his face up, unable to hide how good it felt.
“Last one princess, you ready?” Bucky asked softly, pulling out to give you a second. Christ, you looked wrecked but in the best way possible. His dog tags slipped from your mouth, spit trailing down your chin that you wiped away with the back of your hand.
“You sure you can take another? Need a colour toots.” Bucky probed gently, stroking your cheek lovingly, pushing your hair away from your sweaty face.
“Green daddy, just one more. I can take it.” You nodded weakly, fawning over the little gentle kiss Bucky pressed to your forehead.
“That’s my good girl.” He soothed. “I’ll make it quick, promise.” With that he hopped off the bed. You couldn’t really find it in yourself to care about why he had got up, taking the time to catch your breath and steady yourself but when he came back empty handed, you couldn’t help but be a little confused.
“Gonna move you toots,” he hummed quietly, shifting you onto your hands and knees at the side of the bed and that’s when you realised what he had been doing. Bucky had pulled one of the wardrobe doors open, specifically the door with the full length mirror, leaving it at an angle so you could see yourself from where you sat on the bed.
“Want you to watch yourself, see how pretty you look when you cum for me.” He groaned, harder than he could ever remember being in his life before. You whimpered even just at the thought, letting him slip inside you then pull your back flush to his chest. His whole body felt like it was surrounding you, probably because it was. His firm chest felt so comforting against you, both of his arms supporting your bare frame, casing you in against him. He pulled your hair out of the way, making sure he was able to kiss your neck and shoulders before beginning to piston his hips, fucking into you at a punishing pace. You were so glad he was holding you up, knowing if he took his arms away, you would be left to crumple onto the sheets. Your moans were so lewd you surprised yourself at how keen you were to just keep taking his cock. You knew you would feel empty without him inside you after such a long session but the emptiness might even be a blessing after this insane amount of stimulation.
“Look at yourself baby, you just came seven times for me and you’re still keen to go again. Still gonna give me ‘nother one. Cause you’re the best girl, aren’t you? So so good for daddy. Jus’ lettin’ me take and take from your body. You feel that mess sweetheart? You’re fuckin’ soaked right down to your knees, toots. All my cum from earlier drippin’ out of you. Don’t worry, got ‘nother nice big load to fill you with. Gotta give my best girl what she needs.” You hadn’t even noticed the sticky wetness between your thighs, the change in position letting it all seep out of you. You whined, high and needy as his fingers ghosted through the wetness, landing on your clit. His movements were smooth and methodical, rubbing you at the exact pace he knew you liked. He didn’t want to drag this out any more and he wasn’t even sure that he could last any longer.
“Cum for me babydoll, one last time. That’s it, good girl, hump daddy’s fingers. Excellent baby, doin’ so well for me, ‘m so proud of you, you know that? So so proud.” You felt your body clench harder than you had even thought possible, a strangled cry being torn from Bucky’s throat, his seed spilling so deep inside you.
“Ah, holy shit, can’t stop cummin’.” He panted against your neck, your head flung back onto his shoulder as the most intense high of your life took over. Your whole body was alight with pleasure and yet everything still felt so intimate in this position. Your bodies just felt connected in a way that you couldn’t even describe. Maybe you were just delirious with pleasure but it didn’t even really matter, chants of Bucky’s name falling from your lips like a prayer. Your pussy throbbed, aching and abused but not relenting in the slightest, if anything it only clenched harder around Bucky, milking every single drop of cum from him.
You practically collapsed onto the bed together, chests heaving, both spent and sweaty from the most exhausting morning of you life.
“Christ.” You whispered with a little content laugh, words not even connecting in your brain to form a coherent sentence.
“I agree.” Bucky laughed softly, pulling you practically on top of him, needing to feel you close and take care of you. “How ya feelin’?” He asked quietly, kissing your forehead and playing with your hair, being as delicate with you as possible.
“ ‘m good.” You hummed, giving him a little nod, taking in all the adoration he was offering.
“How bout a little nap, hm? You’re exhausted sweet pea. Then I’ll make us some lunch, yeah?” Bucky suggested, losing his mind when you snuggled yourself even closer to his body. You could only nod and give him a little smile, his fingers carding through your hair ever so gently. The hammering in Bucky’s chest was returning to a more natural thud, comforting you even more, your eyes closing of their own accord.
“My best girl.” He whispered, pressing more gentle kisses to your fragile body, little compliments and praises breaking the silence, lulling you into the best sleep of your life.
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summary bucky blurts out the question.
pairing bucky barnes x reader
warnings none. fluff. a very very cute bucky.
a/n gif not mine. bucky in wakanda. fluff. have nice day/night <3
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
You and Bucky were laying on the grass near the lake, his arms around you, your head hidden in the crook of his neck, Wakandan sun shining and warming you. Bucky was shirtless and you were in a bikini, you loved the feeling of his skin on yours, it felt like heaven.
“Penny for your thoughts?” you looked at Bucky, caressing his cheek, your hands on his beard.
“Just you, pretty girl.” he said, looking at you with pure love. When Bucky looked at you like that you always felt butterflies in your stomach, it felt like you met him for the first time. You could never get used to him looking at you with pure love and admiration.
“You are a charmer, aren’t you sergant?” you gave him a smile and he lifted his eyebrows
“Am I?” he asked and started peppering kisses on your face. Your lips, cheeks, forehead, eyes.
“I” a kiss on the right cheek. “love” a kiss on your nose. “you.” He looked at you with the biggest smile on his face and you kissed him. His lips were soft and warm, you felt his love for you on his lips.
“I love you too, James.” you tucked in a strand of hair on his face behind his ears and kissed him again. He broke the kiss and his eyes held the same look again.
“Marry me.” he whispered.
“What?” you asked him, thinking he is not serious and smiling.
“I said, marry me. You are the one for me, doll. I want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. ‘Doesn’t matter where we are or when, as long as I’m with you. I always feel like I am home when you are with me, something I haven’t felt in a long long time. I don’t know if I deserve you, but I am willing to try to be a better man for you, as long as you want me to be with you. I love you, pretty girl.” he said and there were tears in your eyes by the time he finished. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, him on the top of you.
“Of course, I will marry you, Bucky.” you said and he smiled widely, making you smile too. He gave you another kiss, making you melt.
“I am sorry. I wish I didn’t just blurt it out. I wish I had a ring to give you.” he said, giving you an apologetic look.
“Oh, baby, it was perfect. I couldn’t think of a better way to propose, really.” you said and he smiled at you. His hands rubbed the sides of your waist.
“What if we go to the city this week? We can buy rings and have a celebration dinner?” he asked and you kissed him again, giggling after you broke the kiss.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” he said and you put your head on his chest, hugging him, your legs tangled.
Everything is perfect.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
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You Weren’t My Mission: Ch. 5
Chapter 5 – Aftermath
TW: panic attack description
Note: Hello! All chapters will have warnings at the beginning of their content and possible triggers. If you find that I miss any triggers, please let me know and I will add them to the chapter warnings as soon as possible. Thank you! <3
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“I should get going,” Bucky decided, avoiding eye contact once again. As he shifted back into his seat and adjusted his legs to stand, you grasped his upper arm, fingernails scraping the leather sleeve of his jacket.
“No, please don’t.” ･:*:･ﾟ☆
The light pressure of a hand against the center of your back jolted you out of your daze and into reality. You kept your eyes pressed shut as you began to pick up on the sounds around you — the creaking of a chair; running water; distant muffled voices from all around. Nearly all of it was drowned out by the high-pitched ringing in your ears.
As you regained sensation in your fingertips and limbs, you felt a sharp pain in your upper arms. It took a moment to realize that it was of your own doing and you quickly loosened the death grip you held on your arms, fingernails sure to have left deep crescent marks. Knees pressed against your chest, you steadily attempted to relieve your muscles of the tension they held, loosening out of the curled up ball in which you were seated.
The hand on your back rubbed over your shoulder blades before disappearing, a reminder that you weren’t alone — that your panic episode had an unwelcome audience.
You slowly opened your eyes, almost immediately closing them when the dim light of the bar flooded your senses. The hand on your back was replaced by a cool sensation draped over the nape of your neck. Cold water dripped down your back, dampening your shirt, and you reached up to feel a wet dish towel.
You attempted to open your eyes again, this time more cautiously, training your eyes on your knees and focusing on one thing at a time. When you were finally able to open them all the way, you looked up to find Vincent crouched in front of you, a glass of water in one hand and what you assumed to be orange juice in the other.
“Take it easy,” he cautioned, voice soft and eyes filled with concern as you continued to take in your surroundings. You were at the bar, you concluded, but why the fuck were you on the ground?
Your question was answered shortly by the sight of Bucky standing just a few feet behind Vincent, arms crossed and brow furrowed with worry. The events of the past however many minutes replayed in your head as a choppy film reel upon seeing him, only bits and pieces salvaged by your mind. One second you were warming up your cold hands and the next you were tumbling to the ground. From your curled seated position on the floor, you looked Bucky up and down as he stared at his shoes, doing everything in his power to avoid making eye contact as you came to your senses.
You looked back to Vincent and shakily reached to grab the glass of water he held out. With two hands gripping the glass, you took a sip, letting the cold liquid rest on your tongue before swallowing and taking another drink. You repeated the process a few times before setting it down, letting out a shallow breath and looking to Vincent.
“Thank you, I’m so sorry,” you whispered. He looked at though he’d seen a ghost; although he knew things weren’t all smiles in your day-to-day, he’d never seen you in this state before. Nothing in your years of coming here after work had sent you into a panic before, at least not anything as severe as this. He shook his head, rejecting your apology, and reached out to gently rub your shoulder. It was an odd display of sympathy from the man you’d made little more than small talk with for the past year.
“Want some help getting up?” he offered. You gave a small nod and reached to grab his shoulder, which steadied you as you rose slowly to your feet. The world was becoming less and less blurry with each passing moment, the ringing in your ears now a dulled hum. You finally thought to look to Bucky again, whose eyes by now had bore holes into the ground.
Vincent looked nervously between the two of you, the tension thick even to someone with zero context. He gave you a look, a silent question, and you shook your head, assuring him that things were okay. Sure, you were still terrified and winding down, but one more minute of a dead-silent Bucky ominously looming in the background was just going to send you into another round of panic.
You stepped towards the table nearest you and took a seat. Bucky finally looked up at you, reading your face for any sign of what to do. Every part of him was screaming at him to leave, to never see you again and no longer cause you this panic and pain. It’s what he knew to do; he was used to being barked at to leave, to being begged to never show his face again. But it felt unfair to do so without your word. He didn’t necessarily want to leave — he felt responsible for the situation and wanted to do whatever he could to help you — but felt equally obligated to disappear from your life once more.
You gave him a gentle nod in response and he looked to the ground again, clenching his jaw before finding the seat besides yours. Despite your panic attack, you figured that you might as well talk to him. Besides, numbness had washed over you by now, sure to make interacting with Bucky less taxing in the moment at least.
He rested his forearms against the table, which shifted under the added weight, and looked up to meet your gaze. “I’m sorry, I should have known.” While usually hard to read, the guilt he felt shone through his tone like a search light. You felt guilty too — not for having panicked, but for having put him in this uncomfortable situation.
“It’s not your fault,” you assured, letting out a small chuckle and shaking your head in disbelief at the present situation. This all felt ridiculous, the fact that you were seated right next to him and having a conversation, that he was apologizing. “Just been a long day. I guess seeing you just pushed me over the edge.”
“I get it. Get ‘em all the time.”
Bucky was well-acquainted with panic attacks, far too used to waking up from nightmares short of breath with a shrill ringing in his ears. He was plagued by them, and so were you.. The irony of the shared source of your panic attacks being from his time as the Winter Solider didn’t escape him, but you didn’t know that. You nodded, mouthing “same” with a frown as you looked down at your hands in your lap.
The air was still between you two for only a few moments before Vincent approached the table with two glasses of water, setting them down with a wordless glance in your direction and walking back behind the bar. You feigned a grin at Bucky and reached for a glass, body still begging to be hydrated post panic attack.
Bucky sat still, puzzled as his eyes flickered between his glass, your face, and the tabletop. Indecision boiled below his steely surface, only visible to the trained eye via the mild crook in his brow.
“I should get going,” Bucky decided, avoiding eye contact once again. As he shifted back into his seat and adjusted his legs to stand, you grasped his upper arm, fingernails scraping the leather sleeve of his jacket.
“No, please don’t.” He cocked an eyebrow; he’d expected you to be relieved by his absence, not to reject it. You released the hold on his jacket, unaware of how tight you’d gripped the fabric. The two of you were both were shocked by the sudden contact, having never so much as shaken hands before. “I mean,” you joked, “I didn’t panic all for nothing, right? We might as well talk.”
Bucky grimaced and you immediately felt bad for joking around — clearly, the gruff super soldier wasn’t as amused. “I’m just kidding, I really do want to.”
He nodded, finally accepting your word as truth and settling back into his chair. You noticed the way he relaxed his jaw and set his shoulders back; he was getting comfortable and was eased by your desire to be around him. Even in such little time you’d spent with him, you were beginning to pick up on his subtle cues.
You didn’t have much in-mind to talk about, nor where you in the headspace to delve deep into a conversation about the history of your connection. Instead, you decided to keep to small talk. Bucky picked up on the cue and moved along in the surface-level conversation, asking how your day was and about your work.
He didn’t say much about himself — the most you got out of him was that he’d been on a work trip this past weekend. You weren’t expecting much from him, though, in terms of small talk. And, hell, you figured anything he did do was to be kept fairly under wraps. Most of the conversation was weighted on you and you weren’t surprised.
Even with the limited information he shared, Bucky sat intently, as though he were really listening to each thing you said. He asked follow-up questions to aspects of your day, about your relationships with your coworkers and what exactly it was that you did for work.
It wasn’t until you reached for your water glass, only to find it empty, that you realized that you’d spent half an hour talking about nothing more than your day.
“Sorry, I’m not sure why I insisted we talk,” you began, “I guess I-“
“I get it,” he stopped you. “It helps, as a distraction. Sometimes I wish I had one.” You frowned subtly at his admission — surely he had people around that helped him through that kind of stuff, right? Although even if he did, you wouldn’t have been surprised to learn if he was secretive about his struggles regardless.
“I appreciate it.” You meant it. If you’d had to walk home right after your panic attack, you surely would have either passed out on the sidewalk or have gone into a further spiral in the confines of your apartment.
“I think I might need to head home, though. I should eat and rest after,” you fumbled, “all that.”
Bucky agreed and stood. “I’ll walk you home.”
You froze at his offer, mind flooded with conflicting feelings of gratitude, worry, and anxiety. Sure, it’d be nice to not walk home alone — you weren’t even sure if you were physically capable given how exhausted you were. But you didn’t want to further inconvenience him, and your traumatic past with the man made the prospect of him knowing where you lived fearsome.
He scanned your flustered expression; for someone who was so good at shielding his own emotions, he was rather perceptive when it came to others’.
Normally you’d be frustrated by being read so easily, but the inability for your coping brain to form coherent thoughts around him made you grateful for his ability.
“Or, how about a Lyft,” he offered.
Relief washed over you, thankful that you didn’t have to explain your post-traumatic fear. You nodded and thanked him for the offer, grabbing your phone from your bag to call a ride.
A minute later, your ride was selected and the two of you stood outside of the bar as he waited with you. You pushed your hands into your coat pockets as far as they’d go, doing everything in your power to keep from visibly shivering. If the super soldier was affected at all by the winter weather, he didn’t show it; he stood perfectly still, leather jacket unzipped and hands out of his pockets.
“You don’t have to wait around, she’ll be here any minute now,” you told him.
Bucky shook his head, insisting that he wait with you until you got in the car safely.
He wouldn’t say it, but he knew he’d already caused you enough distress for one night — the least he could do was ensure that you got home safely. If it were up to him, he’d be making sure you were getting home safe up until your doorstep; but he understood your hesitation and wasn’t going to push.
You looked up the street and could see the white sedan Lyft a few blocks away, just two red lights between them and the bar. Bucky visibly shifted and you turned to find him peering at you.
“Look, are you sure this-“
“Yes,” you breathily assured. “I’ll be fine. I’m fine.” A short pause and you exhaled, looking up to read his face. He didn’t have to say it for you to know he wasn’t just asking about your ride home, but the situation as a whole. “But if you don’t want to, I get it. I’m sure it’s uncomfortable.”
Wrinkles formed across his forehead as he considered your point before meeting your gaze. “No, I think I’d like to.”
Even with his agreement, you were conscious of the task you, a near-stranger, were asking him to take on. The knowledge of the added stress to his daily life that your request possibly created weighed on you heavily.
“I just know you’re busy, I don’t want to add more work to your plate.”
He scanned your face quizzically, baffled that you’d even consider it that way. If anything, he figured that he owed it to you to help in whatever way he could. It felt like anything but an obligation — he wanted to do it.
“No,” he cautioned, “it’s not like that.”
You squinted at him before looking to the ground and nodding, somewhat confused but grateful.
“Could we maybe set a regular day at least,” you suggested, “it makes me anxious not knowing.”
Bucky agreed and the two of you decided that you’d see each other again the next Monday. As your Lyft pulled up, Bucky put a hand in his jacket pocket and nodded, a silent goodbye.
You walked to the curb, pausing as you got in and turning when you heard Bucky call out behind you.
Once in the back seat, you looked out the window to see him walking the opposite direction down the block. His head hung low, shoulders broad and tense as he took slow steps along the pavement.
In his walk alone, you could see the effects of years being simultaneously on-guard and in hiding. As much as it made you sad to see in a man you knew did no wrong himself, you couldn’t help but see yourself in his composure — always alert, guarded, hypervigilant. All because of something that Bucky hadn’t done, but that Hydra had made the Winter Soldier do.
You were brought back to the present by your driver asking about your night, her voice suggestive at you having been with Bucky outside. You chuckled; oh, if only it were that simple.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Honestly it means so much if you’ve even made it this far; this is going very slow and I know that ;-; things will speed up soon, I promise. I just don’t want to skim over the fact that this is a difficult/rocky start to things; it would feel painfully inappropriate to skirt over LOL. Thank you again so much!
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Bucky Barnes Imagine
Summary: Bucky gets enlisted in the war. (loosely used the song Hold Me While You Wait as inspiration)
Warnings: fluff, mentions of making love, angst
Parts 2 ?? Comment if I should continue!
Requests are open!
Hold Me While You Wait
“Bye Miss. Y/L/N!” A couple of your students wave to you as they run down the stairs outside of the school. You laugh as you stand at the top of the stairs, waving back.
The smile on your face only grows bigger once you look at who's standing at the end of the entrance steps of where you teach. Bucky. He stands there with his hands in his pockets and a bright smile on his face. You slowly walk down the steps, eye not leaving him once. You can’t get enough of him and that gorgeous face.
“Hello, darling. How was your day?” He asks as you step down the last step. He wraps an arm around your back and pulls you close to him.
“It was great. And yours?” You giggle as he presses kisses against your face and neck.
“It just got better.” He mumbles against your neck.
“Buck, we’re in public.” You push his face away playfully and he groans.
“Let’s get home then.” He grabs your hand in his and starts running. You laugh as he pulls you along.
“Bucky, I’m wearing heels.” You shout and he stops before picking you up and starts running again.
You can’t stop laughing. He’s such a character. There’s no one like him. You’re so happy to have him in your life.
He gently sets your back down on the ground once you make it to your apartment. Bucky recently moved in with you and the place is still a mess, unpacked boxes everywhere. Bucky always came up with the excuse of, ‘making sure the bed is broken in first, the rest can wait’. And you certainly can’t ever say no to him.
Once inside you walk to your bedroom to change. You slip off your dress and heels, letting your hair down. You stand by your vanity, taking off your jewelry.
“Wow, I’m the luckiest man in the world.” You turn your head to see Bucky leaning against the door frame.
You feel your cheeks heat up but hold your confidence. You set your necklace down, the locket he bought you for your birthday. You feel him step more into the room but still a little away from you. You turn around fully to face him and see him holding his camera.
“Bucky.” You groan. You hate getting your picture taken but Bucky does it any chance he gets.
“Doll, you’re so beautiful. I’m just making sure you never forget it.” He brings the camera up and snaps some photos.
“Oh you know you’re doing this for you.” You roll your eyes and walk closer to him.
“You bet I am. Can’t get enough of you.” He snaps one more picture before you take it out of his hands.
“Why do you need so many anyways. I’m not going anywhere.” You hold the camera in your hands and look up at him.
His head bows and eyes fall to the floor, like he’s hiding something.
“Bucky, what’s going on?” You set the camera down where he got it from and stand in front of him.
He doesn’t reply. He grabs your hips and traces his hand slowly over your body. You move your head to get him to look at you. When he won’t, you grasp his face in your hands. Your eyes plead with him to tell you whatever is going on. He closes his eyes and clenches his jaw.
“I got drafted.” His voice breaks.
You can’t move. You don’t want to move. Your eyes are stuck on his lips, his words replaying over in your head. He’s leaving and may never come back. You’ve only just started a life together. You have so many plans and now it feels like they’re all shattered.
Bucky moves a hand to your face and pulls you against him. He holds you as silent tears fall from your eyes. You’re in shock, not wanting to believe he’s leaving you here, all alone.
“I’m so sorry darling. I wish I could change it.” Bucky whispers against your head. You let out a shaky breath and move your head back to look at him. His eyes are red and leak tears as well.
“I’ll always love you.”
“I’ll always love you. Never forget that please.”
Bucky informed you he was set to leave in a few days. It was all so sudden, you didn’t have time to prepare for the last day you may ever have with him.
That day, you’ll never forget.
All you did was spend it in your home with each other. The only thing that mattered now was just being with each other. Savoring each second that passed by.
He couldn’t get enough of you and you couldn’t get enough of him. You lost count of how many times he made love to you. It was like you both couldn’t stop. You were addicted to the feeling of him against you. His warmth calming you and his kisses pushing all your fears away.
“You’re a dream, my love.” Bucky admires you as you lay underneath him. You don’t care that he is practically crushing you with his body, you just want to feel him before it all disappears.
“I hope you dream of this moment everyday you’re away.” You kiss his lips, holding the back of his head. “I hope it’s enough for you.”
“I couldn’t ever forget you doll. You’ve changed my life in ways I never imagined. No matter what happens, I’m glad to have spent this last year with you. It’s been a privilege to have loved you and whoever comes next, I hope they-”
“Bucky, stop.” You interrupt him, never wanting to think about not being with him.
“I just never want you to feel alone. If something happens and I can’t come back to you, I want you to be happy. And I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can’t converse with fate but I know that no matter what, I’ll always be with you. No matter how difficult it gets or how desperately the world tries to tear us apart, I’ll love you immensely. I’ll be yours forever.”
Bucky grips your hand as you weave your way through the train station filled with soldiers. You don’t want to be here. You want to take Bucky back home with you and never let him leave. You look at all the families and friends of other soldiers as you pass by. You don’t think you’ve ever seen so many tears in your life. You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to keep the promise you made Bucky, no crying.
Bucky stops near the train and drops his bag to the ground, turning to face you. Once his eyes meet yours, you know that promise is already broken.
“You have those pictures soldier?” You try to lighten up the mood surrounding the air. He laughs and you want to bottle that sound up so you never forget it.
“Wish they were the real thing.” He wraps his arms around up.
“I’m right here,” You press your hands against his chest, smoothing out his uniform. “Hold me while you wait.”
He doesn’t hesitate and holds you tightly against him. You tuck your head against his neck and he does the same. You feel his breathing against your skin and it sends chills over your body.
You jump when the train whistles, gripping Bucky tighter. You can’t let go.
“Doll, I have to board.” He mumbles against your neck, running his hands down your back. You shake your head against him.
“I know, darling. I don’t want to either but I have no choice. I’m so sorry for this.” He grabs your arms and gently undoes them from around his neck.
Sobs escape your lips and your breathing grows uneven. You’re an absolute mess right now. He takes your face in his hands, kissing away your tears before passionately kissing your lips. You don’t get the chance to protest as he drops your face and grabs his bag, stepping on the train. You stand there, shaking, a hand pressed to your chest as you try to calm your breathing. Your eyes land on him and you see the wetness on his cheeks. He hasn't moved from the steps of the train. You quickly walk over to the steps and he immediately leans down. You grab his face and kiss him again. It’s messy but beautiful.
The train starts to move slowly and you pull back. The hand that is holding yours falls. You watch as the love of your life slowly starts to fade away.
“I love you!” Bucky shouts as he holds onto the handle and leans out from the steps. You can’t help but laugh, same old Bucky.
“I love you!” You yell back and he sends you a kiss. You stand there until you can’t see him anymore. You squeeze your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. You grip the locket around your neck.
“Come back to me. Please, come back to me.”
taglist: @vicmc624 @chouettedubois @cstan @celine-xox @mischief-siriusly-managed @ultrunning @bahama-mama-llama @multiplums @jackiehollanderr @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul
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Commission I did for @afstory1988 about their fanfic that you need to check out. So click here.
I had so much fun drawing this. Look at those colors and this content!! Love this AU!!
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Request for @maximeevansblog. I’m sorry it took so long, I’ve had a lot of problems at home to deal with, I hope you like it 💜
Warning: just pure fluff ✨
Word count: 860 🌙
Tip Jar ⚡️
Requests are open 💫
It was a Saturday morning in sunny New York. You and Bucky had a rare day off from your superhero duties, and what better way to make the most of your rare day off than to pamper yourself.
You got ready, grabbed your purse, and made your way to say goodbye to Bucky before you left, knowing it gets extremely worried if you don’t.
“Bye Buck. I’m off to get my haircut, I won’t be long my love.” You kissed him softly on the lips, as you turned around, he gently grabbed your wrist to get your attention.
“Can I come with you? I’ve been thinking for a while now, and I think it’s time.” He looks at you, a small smile growing on his face as one grows on yours.
You grab both of his hands and looked at him. “Are you sure, Buck? Like are you one hundred percent sure?”
He nodded, “I’m sure babe. I’ve thought long and hard and I’m ready. It’s time.”
You gasp, making him flinch ever so slightly as you wrap your arms around his neck, with his arms going around your waist. “I’m so proud of you.” You whispered in his ear, kissing just under it, feeling his arms wrap around you a little tighter.
You let go, looking at him again as he nodded. You give him a nod and grab his hand, guiding him out of the compound and to your car.
You both arrive at the hairdressers, and you look back at Bucky who seems nervous. You smile softly and gently grab his hand. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this, baby. This is your decision and your decision alone.” You clarified, as he let out a deep breath and shook his head. “No, I need to do this. For myself.” He let out a shaky breath, hands starting to shake as you lead him to the seating area.
When it was your turn, you looked at Bucky and he nodded his head for you to go. You gave him your phone as you knew he liked to do crosswords on it, hoping it would keep him distracted long enough while you got your hair done.
Once you were finished, you paid the lady and thanked her. Walking over to the waiting area, Bucky had his nose stuck in your phone. Kneeling down in front of him, and gently placing your hand on his knee so you didn’t startle him, to get his attention. He looked up, doing a double take as his mouth hung open.
“Doll, you look beautiful.” He trailed his eyes, taking in every new detail from your new hair style/cut.
“Thank you, babe. Are you ready?” you asked softly, as he nodded. Standing up, he placed your phone into his pocket and grabbed your hand, linking his fingers with yours as you made your way to the barbers.
When you arrived outside the barbers, Bucky stopped and took a few deep breaths. You waited patiently, waited until he was ready to go in.
He nodded and walked inside, thankful that he was the only person there.
You both took a seat and waited.
The barber called Bucky arm, he froze for a second, repeating in his head “I can do this.” as he sat in the barber’s chair.
He told the barber what he wanted, and the barber set to work.
You were looking down at your lap, flicking through a magazine that was on the table beside you when you heard a small voice.
You looked up, taking a double take, and standing up, not being able to take your eyes off Buckys new hair.
“Do you like it, doll?” he looked at you, waiting for an answer.
“Baby I love it. But you know I also loved your long hair. But as long as you are comfortable, that is all that matters to me. It’ll grow again.” You grinned, as he blushed and giggled.
That’s right, the big bad winter soldier giggled.
You went back to your car and made your journey back to the compound.
When you parked up, you can sense Bucky was nervous.
“You ready to show everyone, babe?” you asked softly, him looking up at you.
“I’m ready, lets do this doll.”
You both got out of the car and walked towards the elevator to take you up to the common area.
The first one to spot you was Steve.
“Looking good, Bucky.” He grinned while he hugged him, as Bucky hugged back.
“Thanks, Stevie. I feel good.” Bucky smiled, as he walked into the common room with you not far behind him.
You watched from the door frame as Bucky got compliments from the team, sighing happy to yourself, as you can see this haircut was what he needed.
He will never be able to go back to James Barnes, but he doesn’t care.
He has you now, and that’s all he’ll ever need to help him through anything.
And of course, Steve and the team, but they don’t need to hear that out loud, they will never let him hear the end of it.
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S N O W M A N — BUCKY BARNES X OC (CHAPTER 1)
❝If we are both alone, then les us be alone together❞ ||BUCKY BARNES X OC
INTRODUCTION: For Lexie Petrov, life had to be the scariest thing she had ever faced. She threw the bad, the good, all her way until she could barely stand. Until she was shattered, without hope and without faith. Life scared her. It was cruel for as long as he could remember, but somehow after deciding to reunite with the incredible - and not unequal - duo of Bucky Barnes and San Wilson on a mission, life was different.
[DISCLAIMER] Most named characters and settings belong to TFATWS an exception of the protagonist and some more.
[COPYRIGHT] All rights reserved, copying or adaptation of the novel without prior notice to the author is PROHIBITED.
[WARNING] In this fanfic topics are discussed which requires certain maturity: Explicit language, violence, death and sex. If you are not prepared to read I recommend you don't do it.
[NOTE] English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes. Very excited to share this story with you, I originally posted it on wattpad, but it was really frustrating to note that it didn't seem to attract attention. Let's not focus on that, but on the now, new beginnings in Tumbrl (I still don't know how works lmao)
WORD COUNT: 2,1k
PART ONE | CHAPTER ONE
OMNISCIENT POINT OF VIEW
Manhattan, New York | Lex's new apartment
Obviously what he saw before his eyes was a dream. After all, how could reality be when the man in front of her was gone? Steve was gone, he had made the decision to leave and he was not coming back.
So how was it possible for him to be in front of her? Breathing? Smiling? Alive?
Without waiting any longer for him, stretching out his hand, the captain took it, entangling his fingers with his before drawing her to him and leaving a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Don't leave me Steve" murmured the black-haired woman wrapping her arms around the blonde's body.
The surrounding landscape of the beautiful Wakanda lands began to disappear, leaving destruction in its wake. More specifically the scenario of how the earth had been after the war with Thanos. Aleksandra moved away from Rogers to look around terrified, when she turned her gaze to the blonde, he released her hand and walked away.
"Steve! Please don't leave me! Steve!" Sobbing, I try to move towards him but his feet seemed stuck to the ground, the man did not stop, continuing on his way without looking back until he disappeared.
Petrov sat bolt upright, snapping back to reality. He got up from his bed and walked to the bathroom, where he washed his face before leaning on the sink, the touch of Steve's hand moving away from hers still itched.
He took a few minutes to calm down, his heart was racing, his mind kept replaying the nightmare over and over again. Sighing, he looked at his reflection, it had never looked so bad. Her skin was too pale except for the large purplish circles under her eyes, her parched lips, she was haggard.
Without wasting time, she opened the counter under the sink and opened it, rummaging through the beauty products for some masks. The image of Natasha crossed his mind, memories of the nights they spent together trying all kinds of masks and face products in search of smoother skin.
An hour later, after several different treatments to try to fix her skin, she came out of the bathroom, patches with hyaluronic acid under her eyes to reduce her dark circles.
Not wanting to go through the same nightmare again, she headed for the living room, more specifically the small bar area. She took a glass and filled it with whiskey, before bringing it to his lips to drink.
She opened the balcony of his apartment to watch the night, another loaded glass was in his hand. When the moon was at its highest and all the lights of the city illuminated the streets of New York, it was something truly spectacular, one of the landscapes that the black-haired woman enjoyed.
The sound of your phone, the alert of the arrival of a message. He took a long drink of his whiskey before going inside to get it. When he found it, he unplugged it from the charger and returned to the balcony where he took a seat on the comfortable sofa that was kept in one corner.
Lexie? 03:37 a. M.
LEX: Nightmares? 03:39 AM
I guess you too ... 03:39 AM
LEX: Do you want to talk about it? 03:40 AM
I don't, you? 03:40 a. M.
LEX: Sincerely? I would rather not do it. 03:41 AM
Aleksandra smiled, without waiting for an answer she pressed the phone logo, calling him. Bucky, like her, suffered from night terrors, not the same ones, of course. But it was good, almost comforting to have someone who could somehow understand what it felt like.
"Hey stranger. How are you?" He mumbled as soon as the call was answered.
"Lexie, hi. Good and you?"
"Well, I'm glad you're okay James. So tell me, what exactly are you doing up at this hour?
They kept talking for an hour maybe more, late-night talks that have become a habit between them for the last six months, the routine was the same. When you wanted to get away from those demons that tormented you, you would write a message, if it was answered, a call would follow. Usually Bucky was the one to send the message first, Aleksandra replied. Neither knew exactly what the other was dreaming about, just some details here and there, James dreamed of his past as a murderer and Lexie of Steve. They didn't talk about it, they just needed to feel less alone.
Manhattan, New York | Dr. Spellman's office
"So Aleksandra ... how are you today?"
Meredith Spellman recognized to the world as one of the best therapists, recognized for Lexie as a pain in the butt.
"Lexie, Lex or Alex I don't like Aleksandra" murmured the avenger, curiously walking through Spellman's office.
"But that's what your name is, Aleksandra Petrova ... You may not like it, but that's what they named you" The redhead recalled carefully examining the behavior and actions of the black-haired woman.
Lexie sighed taking the Rubik's cube that was on the desk, they remained silent for a few seconds when they saw that the professional had opened his notebook to start writing, the black-haired woman spoke; "The people who named me like that no longer exist, Aleksandra Petrova died a long time ago, precisely 10 years ago, when she left Oymyakon. I promised to myself not to call me like that again."
The redhead nodded, she was patient, she knew that Alexandra was a very closed person so she would not pressure her, but would encourage her to continue, to move on. In his file, she have observed everything that had happened in the life of Petrova
Petrova had been born in a small town in Russia into a poor family, she had been a normal girl until she was five years old, where her mother died of end-stage hepatitis C, where her liver had been severely damaged and there was nothing to do with that. Her father soon passed away a few weeks after the depression of having lost his wife, the little girl had been left in the care of her brother, who was only ten years older than her. He had been able to take care of her for a few months until the responsibility was too much, he had no way to take care of her, how to maintain her. I give it to a woman who I swear was going to protect her. Little did the teenager know that this woman was a Hydra scientist who had taken her sister to an experimental plantation on the outskirts of her village. In this laboratory they injected drugs and experimented with children to mass-produce weapons that would serve their cause for years to come. Aleksandra, being one of the few to survive the tests for two years, had attracted the attention of her superiors, who did not hesitate to put her in a new program, the project (снежная буря), which was successful. Petrova spent ten years of her childhood and adolescence, being raised and trained, undergoing intense daily training every day, which included training in hand-to-hand combat, weapons training, tactical skills and above all the management of her skills with the ice, powers granted thanks to the project snowstorm. In 2013, the organization was dismantled by Steve Rogers, who proposed the minor to join him, Alexandra agreed instead of remaining part of Hydra, defected from Russia and joined the ranks of SHIELD, later joined the Avengers Initiative to be led by Captain America.
"I know, I know ... the sad story of the orphan, who was abandoned and subjected to experiments, blah blah blah" Meredtih looked up from the file she was reading to observe her patient, who had managed to assemble all the cubes of rubik that was on his desk. "I'm over that, okay? I'm not here for that, so skip that part.
"So why are you here?"
"Why does the government want to keep me under control to prevent me from having a psychotic episode and killing an innocent person?" The avenger proposed ironically, lying on the long brown sofa in front of her psychologist.
"Are you going to do something like that?"
"Of course not!"
"Alex ... I'm going to be frank with you, it's the fifth session and we still haven't progressed beyond the presentation, what little I know, I know thanks to your file ..." The blue-eyed just watched her. The doctor sighed adjusting her glasses before beginning to write in her notebook. "If you're not going to talk, then I'll write ... And I'm going to order more therapy, not just with me, I want you to go to at least three more psychiatrists."
"Well, you win. I'll talk" The black-haired girl accepts resignedly before sitting down properly. "Look, I understand that I am lucky to be here, because I know that I have been through a lot. So we can do this quickly, save you all the paperwork and I waste the time of sitting in front of three more people to tell them about my life. . "She sincerely blurted out, looking at the different letters on the table with her emotions looking for one with which she feels represented, she took one and showed it to Meredith who narrowed her eyes when reading it. "Bored, this is how I feel right now."
"Is this how you feel? How strange, because your expressions, your behavior transmits other types of information to me. Your tense and defensive posture, the change in the tone of your voice, the way you rub your sweaty hands against your jacket ... "Lexie chuckled crossing her arms, watching as Meredith jotted down a few things before speaking again; "The vast majority of the soldiers with whom I have dealt, are bothered by the mandatory therapy, at first they never manage to understand it, but believe me, when they leave that door after having completed the sessions, they come out healthy, happy. You may not believe in my now Alex, but I want nothing more than to help you. "
The blue-eyed nodded, "Look, I understand that it's okay to attend to heal. I know the exercise, I don't need the motivational talk. I just ... I just know that the sessions shouldn't last long. You can ask me some questions, fix me up and leave me feeling like new. I have taken care of big things, and this is definitely not that. "
"I have read the reports of your previous therapist Alex ... but since that, a lot has happened to you, you have faced aliens, you were in many battles, you lost a lot of people for five years, then they came back but in the same way, win the war could not be done without sacrifice, and above all it has not prevented you from losing people you considered your family. " List the redhead as briefly as possible. "I can't believe you consider those little things."
"Doc ... have you really read my report?" Petrov asked, denying with amusement, before beginning to list his misfortunes. "My parents died, my brother abandoned me when I was five years old, they experimented with me for ten years, during which I killed many innocents. That file of mine is a real trauma, but I have known it, terrible things happen every day and that I have adding a few more losses to my list, it's just a little thing. "
"Tell me something Alex, do you know the stages of pain?" The therapist asks without giving an opinion about what was said before by her patient.
"Of course I do. I can explain it to you in less time than you expect." She said proudly, leaning back, accommodating herself better on the sofa.
"Okay ..." Meredith accepts smiling before adding; "I promise to end the consultation, if you can tell me the stages and what it is for in a minute or less."
"Are you sure?" At Spellman's nod, Lexie sighed, rubbing her hands together. "The stages of pain are five, that of Denial, that of Indifference or Anger, the negotiation phase, the phase of emotional pain and finally, the Acceptance class. They usually last between six months and a year when it deals with the loss of a close loved one. In the event that the symptoms do not cease after these periods of time, the affected person may be suffering an episode of chronic depression ".
"So close ... but you didn't make it"
"What ?! I did say it before the minute is up!" the avenger yells annoyed, crossing her arms.
"Alex, I don't deny it. You've explained it perfectly, almost out of a dictionary, but you haven't said anything about the part where these stages are going to help you overcome your trauma."
Lexe denies multiple times, it was nothing like that. "Something horrible has happened to me in my life, I understand it, but I repeat it again, I have lived worse things, I have overcome it."
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Little Blue Ribbons (Requested Extension)
Summary: Steve returns four years later to you after regretting his decision to remain in the past with Peggy. He did not expect his mistake to result in finding you pregnant by his best friend and that he had unknowingly abandoned you when you were carrying his sons. (A requested extended chapter set after Chapter 6.)
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Mutant!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader
Warnings: 18+ ONLY. CONTAINS SMUT. oral, fingering, semi-public sex, pregnant!reader sex, breeding kink, pining (you should expect this by now)
A/N: This took a while because I was so undecided on how to end things, but here we are. Dedicated to the nonnie who asked what happens to Steve after he returns and if he would ever have a relationship with his sons. Thank you for sending that request. I enjoyed revisiting this series.
Also dedicated to @milkyway-writes and @pigwidgeonxo who have been VERY vocal about their support for this extension. You’re both amazing people. Special mention to @its-my-little-dumpster-fire for the special scene inclusion. I tried my best.
No permission is granted to repost, translate, or steal my work. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.
Bucky asked Steve to stay in one of the separate cabins away from the main building where you all resided until you and the boys agreed to see him. That was six weeks ago. During the agonizing wait, Steve had time to thoroughly beat himself up about what a complete idiot he was. The beautiful reunion he imagined in his head was so filled with resentment and pain that it tore at him. He realized that it was unfair of him to expect that you would just forgive him and take him back. That was what you always did before and he had taken it for granted.
He had taken you for granted.
There was so much that he was now deeply regretful of, belated as it was. He didn’t even know where to begin to fix things. Perhaps the heaviest on his mind were the boys, those beautiful twin boys that looked like the perfect mixture of you both. His pride told him he should be mad at you too for not telling him you were pregnant, but the shame quickly tamped that back down. What right did he have when he himself didn’t tell you about his own intentions of staying in the past with Peggy?
How many times had he hurt you with Peggy? How many times had he chosen Peggy and even Sharon over you? Over and over again he had hurt you and you had stood by him, allowing him to find his happiness at the expense of yours. You were too good for him and he didn’t even see that.
He wept every day for the first three weeks and it took all of his willpower not to march into the main house and see you. He knew better though than to jeopardize probably the only opportunity he will ever have to rebuild any semblance of a relationship with you and your sons. Of all the loss Steve Rogers has experienced in his long life, this had to be the most painful and the most difficult to swallow. He wasn’t even sure if his guilt was worth anything at this point. He was too late.
He was much too late.
In the fourth week, Bucky came to visit him and Steve felt hopeful for a moment thinking that maybe you would see him now. He was sorely disappointed. The brunette shook his head, his eyes a mix of sadness and disappointment. The blonde slumped and trudged his way to the sofa, burying his face in his hands and groaning in defeat.
Steve took a moment to just steady himself before meeting his best friend’s steely eyes again. He remembered that there was more than just you and the boys that he should be making amends with.
“I’m sorry, Buck.”
“Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Why are you talking to me at all then?”
Bucky sighed and moved to sit on the armchair, his elbows on his thighs as he leaned forward. “Because I know you took all the stupid with you. You’re a goddamn idiot, Stevie.”
“I know,” he groaned, frustrated tears edging in his eyes. “They want nothing to do with me, huh? I deserve that.”
Bucky took a good hard look at his best pal. He was furious at him and understandably so. He was the one who was left to pick up the pieces of what he so carelessly broke. He was the one who held you when you had nightmares. He was the one who made sure you were taking care of yourself and the babies. He was the one who acted like a father to the boys.
He was the one who loved you when you felt that you weren’t worth loving.
He made you believe in life again, but looking at Steve’s state right now he knew that the regret was already drowning him. He couldn’t say he wasn’t at least a little bit glad that Steve was wallowing in guilt. Having watched over the boys for four years, he knew that they should have a chance to get to know their father. None of them thought that they would be able to have it, but they had that choice now. As much as he would like to beat up Steve about what happened, there was too much history between the three of you for it to be that simple. Underneath all of it, you were still those kids who grew up in Brooklyn together.
In the sixth week, Bucky came back with better news. He led Steve to the main common room, from outside the door he could hear you and the boys and it made him stop dead in his tracks. He was nervous, deathly so, but a push from Bucky had him within your line of sight. Anton, the angry blonde twin, immediately stood in front of you in a defensive stance.
The little boy growled at his father.
“Anton, what did we talk about?” Bucky said sternly from beside Steve. He sighed when the boy just won’t let up. “Give me a second with them, pal.”
Steve watched as the boy’s eyes softened at Bucky’s approach. He watched him launch himself and cling onto his vibranium arm before he was lifted to settle on his hip. It was evident that they did this a lot. You approached them then, the other boy perched on your own hip, and pressed a kiss to the corner of Bucky’s mouth. He watched from the doorway as you all spoke quietly to each other, hands comfortably touching each other’s skin. The four of you looked like the perfect picture of a family and it made Steve’s heart ache painfully.
He could have had that.
After what felt like hours, Bucky waved him over. To be honest he wanted to leave. He felt like an outsider and he didn’t want to ruin any further the peace that you all had worked hard on building, but this was his only shot. The kids were on the floor now, one still staring at him in anger while the other with deep curiosity.
“We’ve talked to the kids. They know who you are.”
“They know everything,” you interrupted Bucky. Steve looked at you but you wouldn’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to fuss over the boys. You were so beautiful. Even more beautiful than he remembered. Maybe that was because he never really took the time to look at you like he did now. Maybe it was the glow from your pregnancy that you were only slightly showing at this stage. Maybe it was from being surrounded by love. He should have done that for you. He should have made you glow with happiness.
“It’s their choice, Steve. Roman says he needs to touch you before he makes his decision.”
He nodded his head quickly, squatting down to his son’s height. Bucky had told him a bit about the boys beforehand and explained the powers he had seen that day he returned. He experienced firsthand Anton’s intense ice powers and a small part of Roman’s telepathic abilities. He thought they were incredible and he couldn’t be more proud. That was one thing he did right.
Roman gingerly approached his father and placed his hands on both sides of his face, staring unblinkingly at him. Steve staggered back a bit as he felt the telltale signs of someone creeping in his mind, it was disorienting but somehow it also didn’t feel threatening. He felt almost hypnotized as familiar memories flashed before him and suddenly he understood what his child was trying to do.
Will you leave us again, papa?
He heard in his mind. This small child was trying to protect the family he had abandoned, trying to make sure that before they let him back in that he wouldn’t hurt them again by leaving. Steve’s heart shattered and the tears fell in large drops down his face. He felt so ashamed of himself. He shook his head quickly and fixed his watery eyes determinedly on Roman.
“I’m not going anywhere, buddy. Never again.”
Steve looked to Anton, saying with his eyes what his throat was too tight to repeat. He felt relief when the other boy looked a fraction less aggressive toward him. Then he looked at you and you couldn’t stop your own tears from falling. You believed his regret, you believed his desire to rebuild bridges.
It was enough for now.
“It’s okay, mama,” Roman said softly as he returned to your side and took your hand. They had decided they would give Steve a chance.
It started off with supervised visits in the Compound. Steve was allowed to spend time with his kids with you and Bucky nearby, far enough that they could bond without interruption and near enough in case they needed to intervene. Usually it was in the main common room that he sat with his children, telling them stories of Brooklyn and past battles while they showed him their skills.
They were slow to open up to him, particularly Anton but when they started it was like the dam broke and you just couldn’t get them to shut up. They launched into a million questions about the first Avenger that warmed Steve’s heart and gave him hope. It was the highlight of his life when both kids first allowed him to give them a hug good night. It was the happiest he has ever felt and he was filled with a deep gratitude for being granted this opportunity.
It was a testament to your motherhood how well the boys grew up. They were happy children with a zest for life and a remarkable control over their abilities. Steve noticed how Anton was so much like you with his fiery temper, but he got his bullheaded nature. Roman inherited his quick strategic mind and observation skills that would put any grown operative to shame, but he also got your empathy. It wasn’t just the two of you, their time spent with Bucky had a clear influence on them with their bouts of playfulness.
They were perfect.
He was content with what he was allowed to have. It was more than he deserved, but still he couldn’t help his eyes flitting to you and filling with longing. He saw how Bucky doted on you, more so now that you were carrying his child. He took any task he could from you and made it his mission to ensure you were comfortable. He was also openly affectionate, always with a hand to support your back and sweet lingering kisses on your face. His heart clenched every time you smiled and softly looked at Bucky the way you used to with him, but he couldn’t seem to look away.
He wasn’t angry that you had found love with Bucky. If anything he was relieved that it was Bucky. If there was anyone who could love you the way you deserved, make you happy the way he didn’t, it was Bucky. He would give anything to not have made the mistakes he did. He would give anything to have even an eighth of your love back.
One afternoon, Steve came into the main common room. He heard you and Bucky talking, alarmed at the slight worried edge in your voice. His heart stopped when he saw you. Bucky had both hands on your shoulders, rubbing up and down to soothe you. You had on a sundress that flowed softly around you and complimented your figure. Light makeup was on your face, just enough to emphasize the glow you already had. Your little blue ribbons in your hair made him swallow hard.
You were so gorgeous it hurt.
“What’s wrong?” Steve managed to ask.
You didn’t look at him, but Bucky gave him a small sad smile. “We were supposed to go on a date, but the babysitter bailed last minute.”
It was an easy decision for Steve especially with that look of disappointment on your face. “I can watch the boys.”
Your head turned abruptly to Steve and the growing smile on your face made him feel warm. It made him feel like he was finally doing something right for you. Your happiness had a decided weight to him now.
“You sure you can handle them by yourself, pal?” Bucky asked. Underneath the question was another; are you okay with this? As happy as Bucky was, he didn’t necessarily want to rub it in his best friend’s face.
“We’ll be fine,” Steve reassured him with a small smile. “Go have fun. You guys deserve a break.”
It didn’t take any more convincing for you and Bucky to go. He had been planning this date for a while now. Both of you had been busy between missions, the boys, and your pregnancy. You were both looking forward to a rare moment alone.
It wasn’t long until Bucky drove you both out to a secluded lookout point with a view of the city. You and Bucky preferred quiet dates, away from the public eye and any kind of modern noise. It made you both feel normal and in those brief moments you were just two people in love. There was no century of the worst luck any person could possibly have, there was no pain, there were no regrets, and there was no loss. It was just you and Bucky.
You hopped out of the car, running your hands on the shiny black paint of the classic Chevy Impala while Bucky pulled out what he packed from the back. You smiled at his choice of car. It suited him so well. Normally you would have taken the Harley, but he was horrified at the idea of you on it when it was confirmed that you were with child.
“Did you seriously bring me to a make out point, Buck?” you teased, a wicked smile on your face. “You wanna make out like a couple of teenagers?”
“Hell, yeah,” he said, grabbing you by the waist to pull you to him.
Your hands automatically went around his neck as your lips met in a kiss more adult than teenager in nature. You sighed and smiled when you slowly pulled apart, his hands lazily stroking your hip.
He pulled you to the benches and perched you on his lap, reaching into the cooler to pull out the food he had prepared. You allowed him to feed you as you laughed at the stories you shared. You felt at peace and content in the arms of the man you loved, the slowly disappearing afternoon sun casting the last of its warm light on the both of you. Everything felt right and steady again. The stress from the last couple of months were temporarily pushed aside, but Bucky noticed that it wasn’t completely forgotten.
“You’re still worried about Steve,” he said quietly. You didn’t realize that you had been drifting off in your own thoughts until he spoke.
“I’m sorry,” you said, nervously gnawing on your bottom lip. You really didn’t intend to ruin your date.
“You haven’t talked to him yet.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that conversation yet,” you admitted. “I don’t know how I want that conversation to go. Aren’t you worried about Steve?”
He smiled softly at you as he cupped your cheek. “I’m terrified.”
His answer hit you different. Just now did you realize how strained his smile looked, that Bucky had to make an effort for the gesture. He had been putting on a brave face for you and the boys, taking the role of mediator with Steve when he was surely just as rattled by his return. The guilt filled you all at once.
“No, Bucky,” you said firmly, framing his face in both your hands to keep his eyes on you when you saw him wanting to look away. “Steve coming back doesn’t change what I feel about you.”
You shook your head when he looked like he was about to argue. “It doesn’t change how the boys feel about you either. We love you.”
You pressed your lips softly against his, a gentle reassurance of the truth before you held his gaze steadily once more. “I love you, Bucky.”
You felt him melt underneath you and you saw his eyes water before he lifted himself up to connect your lips in a kiss much more forceful than your previous one. You tasted the emotions he felt in that searing kiss; the fear of potentially losing you to Steve, the resignation if that should happen, the gratitude at your assurance, and the unending love he had for you and the family you had built together.
You clutched at each other, desperate to let the other feel in more than just words how much you mean to each other. Soon the kisses and the touching turned heated, your bodies calling out to the other in need of affirmation. You shifted yourself around to straddle him and he groaned low against your mouth when you pressed your hips down hard.
“I’m not gonna make it home if you keep doing that, doll.”
He completely stilled beneath you and frowned. “What? No. You’re pregnant and -”
His eyes widened as he looked up at you, but seeing the determined lust-filled look on your face was swaying him. The threatening flash of icy blue in your eyes convinced him. You weren’t going to take no for an answer. The growl reverberated in his chest as he captured your lips with his again. He carried you with little effort, his lips traveling down to suck and bite on your neck. You were so lost in the delicious way his mouth was going down your clavicle and the tight grip he had on your ass that you barely registered the smooth leather of the back seat of the Impala against your back.
It was clumsy how you both tugged and practically ripped each other’s clothes off, desperate to feel skin against skin. When finally the barriers were torn away, you maneuvered yourself to lie on your back and slipped your head between his legs before he could even realize what you were doing. You took his balls in your mouth and pumped his hard length quickly, his precum dripping onto your hand.
“Goddamn, doll!” he shouted, gripping the seat to hold himself up above you. “You that hungry for my cock?”
You moaned against his skin, your tongue tracing patterns and your mouth sucking until he was panting above you. You slid down a bit to take his cock in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks to better suck him off. You loved going down on Bucky. He was always so vocal about his pleasure and it was always a sure way to get him to give in to whatever you wanted.
“Jesus, you’re really going to town,” he groaned, bucking his hips to go further into your eager mouth. His hands reached over, squeezing your breasts before going further down to your aching cunt. “God, you’re soaking. You need my cock right here, doll?”
You could only whine and grind your cunt against his hand, squeezing tight when he slipped his fingers inside and started a frenzied pace. Bucky couldn’t hold back anymore when he felt you start to tighten and shake, the need to feel you cum around his cock and not his fingers was too compelling. He lifted himself off you, earning loud protests from you until he was pulling you up urgently to sit on his lap.
He lined himself up against your core, running the tip against your silky folds to coat himself. You were breathing hard in anticipation, your eyes locked with each other until the sheer fulfillment of feeling him stretch you made you close your eyes in bliss. He started a slow pace, thrusting up at you languidly to make sure you were adjusting to the intrusion.
You got impatient.
You leaned back, hands going on his knees to keep yourself up as you impaled yourself on his hard length. He cussed up a storm as his hands came to hold your waist.
“You’re going to kill me one day, doll.”
“What good is the serum then?” you huffed, a teasing smile on your lips as you fucked him harder.
He growled as he watched you, enthralled by just how beautiful you looked while you took your pleasure from him. He was entranced as you proved with your body just who you belonged to. He ran a hand over your bump, still barely noticeable but Bucky noticed the differences. The rounder curves were awakening a possessive and protective nature in him that he didn’t know he had.
“You’re going to look even more beautiful when you’re fully showing,” he grunted as he began to meet your hips with his own. “I might just put another kid in you after this one comes out.”
You whined as you both picked up the pace, his words fanning the inferno in your body. He was hammering up into you now, one hand on your hip to keep you in place and the other rubbing hard at your throbbing clit. The coil was quickly winding tighter and spinning wholly out of your control.
“You want that, doll? You want me to keep you round and full with my kids?”
Your orgasm caught you off guard, not expecting the thought of Bucky breeding you to have that impact. He pulled you flush against him, his mouth closing on a hardened nub as he continued to fuck you through your release in his chase for his own. Your vision was unfocused and your body was still shaking, his arms the only thing keeping you upright. All you could do was hold on to his shoulders as you felt another orgasm build.
“Fuck! You’re squeezing me so tight,” he groaned against your breast, biting lightly at the soft flesh. “Cum with me, doll. Come on. Give me one more.”
You careened into your climax just as he spilled into you, your hips meeting harshly one last time. The small space suddenly grew quiet, your screams of pleasure reduced to ragged breathing and sloppy kisses. He rubbed your back to help calm you down, his sweaty forehead pressed against yours and your skin tingling from the heat in the car.
“Did I hurt you, doll? You okay?”
“I’m perfect,” you smiled as you kissed him again. “You’re perfect. I love you.”
“I love you, Y/N.”
This time looking into his eyes, you were relieved that you could no longer see any lingering doubt.
It was nearly midnight when you arrived back at the Compound. You both tried to keep as quiet as you could, sure that the boys would already be asleep. True enough you found your little mutants fast asleep in the living room. What you didn’t expect was to find them both piled on top of Steve who had also dozed off. Your heart clenched at the sight.
Bucky came up to wrap an arm around you and pull you against his side. You shared a look with him and knew immediately that he felt the same way. Steve looked like he belonged there.
And he did.
He belonged with his sons, but more than that he belonged with you and Bucky. It didn’t change what you felt about each other, but it forced you to face what you both felt about Steve. A century ago it had started with the three of you and during all the different times that you weren’t complete, it had always felt wrong. It had always felt like something was missing and you were always restlessly trying to fill that void.
It was always meant to be the three of you.
Whatever that entailed, you and Bucky were now ready to have that conversation with Steve. Now finally, it didn’t seem like the end of the line.
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Serious talk, which MCU actor/actress writes fanfiction?
I’m voting for Tom Hiddleston, Paul Bettany and Don Cheadle
I also want to say Tessa Thompson...
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Bucky shakes his head and looks at me. I smile back at him.
“So? Your verdict, James?”
He smirks a little. “It wasn’t as….weird as I thought it would be.” He rubs his hand over his face. “My mind still feels like it’s full of cotton wool, though.”
I nod, propping my chin in my hands. “Give it a couple of days.”
His lips twitch and he licks at them. “The biggest thing will be if I sleep free of nightmares.”
I nod again. “Of course.” I’m optimistic but I know Bucky won’t believe that it’s fully worked until he’s tested that. I reach over to take hold of his hands. “I’m here.”
Bucky ducks his head down, the shyness of the gesture in complete contrast to the power I know is in that big body of his. I squeeze his hands and smile more.
“Come on. Lee’s got dinner ready.”
Bucky let’s out a sigh and stands, heading for the kitchen. I flick off the living room light and follow him.
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Can't Run, Can't Hide
Congrats @syntheticavenger to 5k followers! 🌸💕
Thank you for that bomb ass prompt!
Word Count: ~1,2 k
Pairing: stalker!Bucky x Reader
Content Warnings: consumption of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes, mentions of obsessive behaviour, MDI (18+!)
Feel free to check my Masterlist! 🐻
A/N: So it's Sunday morning and not even 7 am. I'm a tad bit hungover so I blame all writing errors on that. Anyway, this has been so much fun that I'm sitting here, saying: Let me play again ❣
Tagging: @wayward-blonde @mageofvengerberg @connieisland @demotalias @rebekkah119
How it started:
Saturday night. Your Saturday night. The time you had been looking forward to all week finally came around and you felt the music, laced with a heavy bass drop, rushing through your muscles as you effortlessly moved your body to the beat. Tiny droplets of sweat ran down your neck and soaked the outlines of your tank top but that didn't matter much to you. You came to the club to dance and a little sweating wouldn't stop you from doing so. Through closed eyes, with your hands up in the air, pumping along with a rhythm that massaged every corner of your soul, you still recognized the flashing bright
lights around you. They painted your imagination in vivid colours as you felt your hair swaying from side to side along your jawline. Goosebumps erupted on your skin as you waited for the next drop to hit you, the buildup already coming on strong. As a new wave of deep vibrations finally burst through the speakers you opened your eyes, a wide grin spreading on your face while you soaked up the scenery surrounding you. Not only you, but everyone around went wild. People jumping and dancing like it was their last night on earth, losing themselves in a thoughtless trance and just living for the beat hammering through the thick and heavy air. Yes, that was exactly the kind of night you had been longing for.
For a couple more songs you danced along until you decided that it was time for a little break and a refreshing drink. For the latter you squeezed your way towards the bar, your second favourite place in this venue aside from the dance floor. You threw a warm hearted smile towards the bar keeper. The both of you knew each other from your countless party nights prior and the man reciprocated your smile with a soft wave of his hand and a nod towards the cocktail shaker. You answered with a thumbs up as you still were occupied with gently shoving sweaty bodies out of your way, mumbling not even barely audible apologies. By the time you arrived at the counter James had already prepared your favourite drink and arranged it in an unnecessarily fancy glass topped with a peel of orange zest.
"Thanks!" You almost shouted for your voice to be heard over the music
as you were about to pull your wallet from the back pocket of your
James in front of you just shrugged his shoulders at that and signed you to put it rightback to where it came from. Instead of accepting any cash from you he drew a pack of smokes from underneath the counter and gestured towards the back door. You smiled again, because some time ago this established to be your thing: Sneaking out the back door to accompany James on his break. Although smoking wasn't necessarily your thing you enjoyed the chill night air, taking a few good breaths before you went right back onto the dancefloor.
After you grabbed your drink you followed him behind the counter, through a backdoor that was originally only meant for staff and out behind the club that was buzzing as ever. Before James had lit his cigarette and exhaled the first cloud of smoke into the night air you pointed at your drink and spilled: "C'mon...you can't just give me another one for free." James right next to you chuckled a little, his sapphire blue eyes beaming at you.
"You're here quite frequently. Just see it as a discount for
regulars." He winked an eye at you, the flame from his lighter illuminating his face in a warm orange for a split second.
"Stop spoiling me like this!", you giggled, taking a sip from the beverage "You'll never get rid of me pampering me so much."
"Who said that I'd want to?" He mumbled in return, pulling the cigarette from his mouth as a barely even there hint of red flushed his cheeks.You found yourself a little taken aback by that, but to play over it, you took another sip from the cocktail glass.
"Well...", you stated jokingly "Since I didn't even pay half of my drinks tonight you should start thinking 'bout your salary, huh?"
James only let out a soft, half-hearted chuckle at that before silence engulfed the two of you. It wasn't an outright awkward silence, but not really comfortable either. Although this wasn't your first drink tonight you could sense that something was lingering in the atmosphere, something creeping at the tip of his tongue, made visible by the way he bit his lower lip and stared off into the night.
"You good?" You muttered in between another sip, gently nudging his side with your elbow.
"Sure... I just...", James hesitated and sighed, taking a drag from his cigarette "Uhm... I don't wanna come off strange and all but...uh...maybe I'd like to see you outside the club sometimes. Maybe a cinema or a restaurant..."
For a moment you just blatantly stared at him, yet again not really knowing what to say. You did not want to hurt him, nonetheless, you had your stand on dating or matters the like. For a good moment you pondered, choosing your words wisely.
"I really appreciate it, James.", You started "But for now I'm not really looking to date...sorry."
Your words hung heavy in the air and you felt bad for them as soon as they had dropped from your mouth. You liked James. He was good company and for sure a good looking man, but since your last, rather recent breakup, dating actually wasn't something on your priority list.
"That's... it's okay." He reciprocated, throwing the cigarette bud onto the pavement.
"Really?" You poked, looking for upright reassurance.
"Yeah.", he turned to you, throwing you a gentle smile "That's totally fine."
How it’s going:
You crouched down behind your living room blinds, sinking down to the floor, burying your face into the palm of your hands. His voice reverberated in your head: “That’s totally fine.”
Yeah, nothing had been fine since that evening….
At first you didn’t take much notice of it, you thought that your imagination was playing tricks on you. Spotting James in big crowds smiling at you, running into him while grocery shopping, meeting him at your favourite coffee shop. Funny little icedents, huh? No.
It didn’t stop there.
You did not know how, but somehow he got a hold on your phone number. At first everything was cool. He asked you how you are doing, sounding upright. Some evenings you were a little too talkative after one or two glasses of wine, just being happy that someone listened. Your last breakup had been a sloppy mess and you literally plastered James with that, thinking that he’d be there for you. Well, he was...for a limited amount of time. Up to the moment where he sent you rather strange messages along the lines of “He’s been a dick..I could do way better than that!”. At first you thought of it being encouraging, telling you that you certainly deserved better, but not long after things turned south. Love letters in your mailbox, flower bouquets delivered to your doorstep and your amazon wishlist arriving at your flat. It took you some time to figure out who’s behind that, but at the time it finally dawned on you it was too late.
“I’ll get you and you can’t do anything about that!”
The latest notification on your phone read before you tossed it as far away from you as you could.
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summary in which bucky finally finds his home.
pairings bucky barnes x reader
warnings soft!bucky, “have you eaten today?”, fluff.
a/n gif credits, have a nice day/night!
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Bucky thought he would never fall in love, not after everything that happened to him. He was convinced that his heart was frozen.
Then, you came along.
It was almost like a dream, unfamiliar, but comforting. He rarely had beautiful dreams, and it always felt too good to be true. He was so used to having and living through nightmares.
“Doll, I’m home” he closed the door and started walking to the living room, concerned that you didn’t answer his greeting like you always do.
He understood why you didn’t answer him when he got to the living room. You were laying on the couch, sleeping, with Alpine next to you. You both looked so peaceful and cute, Bucky felt his heart swelling at the sight in front of him. He hated that but he knew he had to wake you up since six pm was not an ideal time to take a nap. He walked up to the couch and gently caressed your cheek to wake you up. You opened your eyes, eyelids still heavy from sleep.
“Hello, pretty girl,” he said, smiling.
“Hi,” you gave him a tired smile, happy to see him but still sleepy.
“I brought food, let’s eat, yeah?” he said, his hand still on your cheek, his thumb moving on your cheek slightly.
“I want to sleep.” you closed your eyes again.
“After dinner, baby. Have you eaten today?” he asks you with concerned eyes.
“‘Can’t remember.” you said and got up from the couch, leaning on his body and hugging him. Your arms were wrapped around his waist and your head was leaning on his shoulder.
“I missed you so much.” you mumble.
“I was just gone for a few hours, pretty girl.” he smiled at you and you didn’t answer, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.
“I missed you too.” he said.
He was attached. He was in love.
He constantly missed you, wanted to touch you all the time. He thought about you all the time. He dreamt about you, about touching you, kissing you, even when you were next to him, he missed you.
He loved little things like holding your hand while walking, or cuddling on the couch after a long day, a kiss on the cheek before leaving, the way you say good morning after waking up, how you would jump into his arms after he comes home from a mission.
He walked into the kitchen. It was 3 AM and he was ready to fight if there was someone dangerous in your shared house. He was both relieved and concerned when he saw you cooking something. You were wearing one of his shirts and shorts, looking adorable as always. He leaned on the door and watched you for a while as you kept cooking, oblivious to his presence. He loved watching you as you focused on something, you always looked very cute.
“Doll, why are you awake?” he asked after a while, trying to whisper. You jumped a little bit when you heard his voice so suddenly but you quickly relaxed when you recognized his voice.
“I… I just couldn’t sleep.” you said but he knew it was more than that. Still, he didn’t push it. He knew you would talk to him about him whenever you were ready, just like you always did.
“May I ask what you are cooking?” he asked and lifted his eyebrows, making you laugh. He hugged you from behind, his arms around your waist, his head on your shoulder.
“Pancakes. You like them?” you asked him as you put the pancakes on a plate.
“Well, I haven’t eaten one since the 40’s.” he said.
“You are lucky then, not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty good at making pancakes.” you whispered and he held your face, giving you a kiss, you smiled into the kiss. He led you to the living room as you held your plates, he was holding your hand, and both of you sat down at the couch, sharing a blanket. Bucky’s left arm was around your shoulders, right one holding his plate. Your legs were hanging off his legs.
You two ate your pancakes in silence, some kisses and giggles were shared.
When you fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, he watched you for a while. Admired and remembered your face, noticed how peaceful you looked while being asleep. There were moments like this when he wished that he could keep you in his arms forever, feel your warmth all the time.
Then, he picked you up in bridal style, taking you to the bedroom. You didn’t wake up until he reached the bedroom and laid you on the bed. He gently laid next to you and wrapped his arms around you.
“Goodnight, pretty girl.”
After decades, Bucky was happy. He was in peace. His dream was next to him, his girl was with him. He was home.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
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