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#bucky au
cosmicbucky · 5 months
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wallpaper
summary: bucky finds out how to change the wallpaper on your phone, and takes every opportunity he can to do so. until one day he doesn't have the heart to
pairing: bucky barnes x female reader
word count: 1000
warnings: fluff, nonspecific friends to lovers, this was just a dumb idea i had
《《《《 ♡ 》》》》
The first time Bucky changed the wallpaper on your phone, it was an accident - kind of. He sat on your couch, lazily scrolling through the photos of Alpine you insisted he looked at, because you simply couldn’t resist having a Halloween photoshoot with her while he was off on yet another mission, leaving her in your trusting hands. He was happy you were in the kitchen, because he would never let you see the smile he wore as he browsed the album, chuckling silently to himself over how elaborate these photos were. His mood swiftly changed when he swiped incorrectly, an array of different options suddenly presenting themselves to him. He swore under his breath as he tried to make them go away, but he only made it worse as the option to change your wallpaper came up. With an annoyed huff, he just kept tapping, figuring that eventually he would get it back to how it was. After a few more grueling seconds, he sighed in relief as he was once more face to face with Alpine sitting inside a jack-o-lantern candy bucket - how was he supposed to know that photo was now both your lockscreen and homescreen?
“Did you change my lockscreen?” you curiously asked when you finally sat back down beside him, taking your phone and checking it for any new messages.
“Did I what?” he asked in confusion, his head snapping up from his own phone to look at you with a scrunched brow. 
You could only laugh lightly, turning your phone to display the new photo brandishing your screen. The second Bucky saw it, his eyes widened almost imperceptibly as his face flushed ever so slightly. 
“I, uh- sorry,” he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to, your phone is just - it’s different than mine.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle fondly, your chuckles growing into more laughter as you realized it was also your homescreen. “It’s okay, Buck,” you assured softly, laughing quietly as you changed the photos back to their precursors. “It could have been worse, at least it’s not an embarrassing photo or something.” 
You were too busy fixing his mistake to notice the glint that sparkled in his eyes, a smirk growing on his face as your words gave him the most incredible idea he’s had in a while. 
The second time Bucky changed your wallpaper, it was very much not an accident. You left him your phone so he could look at the photos you took on your latest trip, unpacking your bags as he split his attention between listening to your stories and scrolling through a seemingly endless array of new pictures - which he truthfully enjoyed, but he was on a secret mission for the perfect, nondescript one to choose. 
“Again, Buck?” you giggled, flopping on the bed beside him as you took your phone back. 
“What?” he asked, just innocent and clueless enough to not raise any flags. 
“You and your fat thumbs, I swear,” you mumbled under your breath, changing the photos back once more, completely oblivious to his proud little smirk.
It took three more times for you to suspect that Bucky had started doing it on purpose, but your suspicions weren’t proven correct until he took a photo of you to display.
“Did you- when- really?” you stammered as you looked between him and your phone, half annoyed and half impressed because when did he even take this photo? 
He only grinned in response, laughing about how long he was able to do it under the pretense of it being an accident before running away in a fit of giggles, dodging the pillow you threw after him.
From that moment on, it became a game for him. 
Any opportunity that presented itself, Bucky snatched your phone and changed your displays to the most embarrassing and ridiculous photos of yourself.
A sunset was changed to you mid-sneeze. Alpine was changed to you post-nap. You partying with the gang was changed to an extreme close up of your face in that very photo. Louisiana docks were changed to you mid rant as you yelled at him to give you your phone back. A cherry blossom was changed to you passed out on the couch, wrapped up in a hoodie you stole from him and drooling all over the sleeve of it. 
As time went on, you stopped being surprised whenever it happened, and you grew to enjoy it. It was a silly thing, but it was a silly thing that only you and Bucky shared. It was a special thing, a cherished thing. It was your favourite thing.
Neither of you realized how the dynamic between the two of you started morphing into something else right in front of your very eyes. It was slow. It was gradual and complex and delicate and went unnoticed for almost a whole year. 
It was only noticed now, as Bucky took the opportunity to grab your phone as you slept soundly against his chest. It had been a while since he was able to get a chance to do this, and so he eagerly unlocked your phone, already running through different ideas of what picture to use. 
He was caught off guard when the picture staring back at him was from a few weeks ago. It was the day you finally convinced him to let you drive his bike after months of endless asking. It was a photo neither of you knew Sam took until later that night, when he sent it to both of you. 
It was you, sat in front of him on the bike and wrapped up in his arms, one securely planted on either side of you as his hands rested on yours, guiding you through everything as you both gleefully laughed at the fact that you actually managed to convince him to do this. 
For once, Bucky didn’t have the heart to change it. 
He couldn’t. 
It was his wallpaper, too. 
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simplyholl · 2 months
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A Night With The Winter Soldier
Summary: You’re sent to be Hydra’s test subject for a new serum.
Pairing: F. Reader x Winter Soldier Bucky
Warnings: Smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI. Dark Bucky. Non con. Oral. Unprotected sex.
See My Masterlist Here
A/N: I know I don’t usually write for Bucky, but this idea has been stuck in my head for a long time. I’m just tagging my regular tag list, if you’re not into dark fics, please skip! ❤️
Fucked. That’s what you were or at least what you were going to be. You shake your head as you cover your skimpy lingerie with the matching robe your mother gave to you.
Your father is the head scientist for Hydra. He had been working on this experiment for years. He had created a serum that would cause Super Soldiers to want to reproduce. The end result would be a perfect Super Soldier baby. He finally perfected it. Who could be a better test subject than his daughter?
You begged him. You pleaded and cried. It was unfair to expect this of you. But he didn’t care how you felt. He said it was your duty to do as you were told. You didn’t want to make Hydra upset with your family, did you? You knew the horrors that awaited you if you refused. Your best friend, Lilly and her whole family disappeared three years ago when her father refused a command from Hydra. They were brutal and cruel. Sadly, you were used to it.
Hydra came first. Before yourself, before your family, your loyalty had to be unwavering. You knew it wasn’t really your father who had suggested it be you. Your mother told you it was one of the higher ups. He had seen you in your new sundress a few weeks ago and thought you would be perfect to carry the first Super Soldier baby.
It made you sick. How could they do this? You didn’t want to know what would happen if you refused. “At least, he is the strongest Super Soldier. This baby’s genes will be impeccable with the both of you for parents.” Your mother reassured you, as if it would help you feel better.
You weren’t naive. You and the baby would be monitored from the moment you got pregnant. As soon as you gave birth, the child would be ripped from your arms and watched closely. It wouldn’t really be yours.
You take the elevator to the thirteenth floor, heart racing wildly. You were scared. You had seen the Super Soldiers behind glass doors where you were protected from them. Now, you were being offered on a silver platter to the biggest baddest one, like a worm on a hook waiting for a fish to jump after them.
Two guards stand outside the door to the windowless room. Their eyes roam over your barely covered body. They smirk at you as they type in the code to let you in. “Good luck, princess. You’re going to need it.” They evilly laugh as the door opens. Slowly, you walk in, your breath catching in your throat as you hear the steel door bang tightly shut behind you.
The room is dimly lit. A leather chair in one corner, a bed pressed against the wall, there’s a table with a half worked puzzle on it. It was so dreary, your heart aches for the poor guy that called this room home. You walk over to the table, running your hand over the puzzle. That’s when you feel it. Even though you couldn’t see him, you’re not alone. He’s in here with you, hid in the dark corners somewhere. You turn around to find him staring at you.
The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, you had demanded to know his name before you did this. His dark hair hung in waves by his cheeks, his cold blue eyes focused on your body. He was beautiful. You weren’t used to seeing him without the black mask he usually wore. He was shirtless, his silver, metal arm catching your attention. You studied it. The way it looks like it was forcefully put on, the red star on his shoulder. He was always silent, brooding in the shadows. You had never been this close to him.
You reach for his face, wanting to feel him before all this started. His metal arm stops you, cold hand wrapping around your wrist. You squeak when he twists your arm behind your back, walking you toward the table.
He presses you against it, you feel his erection threatening to burst out of his black pants. One swipe of his free hand knocks the puzzle to the floor. Colorful pieces scatter all around you. He lifts you on top of the table, the cold surface making you gasp when your bare legs land on it.
Bucky holds you with his metal arm, the other one makes quick work of your flimsy robe. He grabs your breast through the thin fabric of your lingerie. You squirm under his touch as he pinches your nipple through the lace.
“You don’t know how bad I need this. Been a long time since I’ve had a pretty girl like you in my bed.” You’re shocked when he speaks to you. You had been warned that he wouldn’t talk to you at all. He takes a step back to look at you, zeroing in on your panties.
He pushes your back to the wall, commanding you to stay there. You obey, you didn’t want to upset him and make this worse for yourself. He holds your top in one hand, jerking the material. The sound of it’s ripping, startling you. He was crazy strong. The thought of being manhandled by him sounded better by the second.
Next was your panties, he stripped you of them quickly, pulling you by your legs to the edge of the table. He got on his knees before you, shoving his face to your core. He licks one fat stripe up your center, moaning as he tastes you. He swirls his tongue across your clit, you buck your hips up to get closer.
Bucky pushes you down with his metal arm, ensuring that you wouldn’t be able to move. You accept your fate, laying back as he laps at you. He fucks you with his tongue, his nose rubbing expertly against your sensitive nub. The band tightly wound in your stomach snaps as he drags his wicked tongue across your clit, sucking you between his lips. He doesn’t hold back his moans as your arousal floods his face.
When he emerges, his face is glistening because of you. He wipes it off with the back of his flesh hand. Bucky jerks you off the table, pointing to the cold, cement ground. “On your knees.” You sink down in front of him as he sheds his pants. You’re surprised he hadn’t already taken them off.
You shift on your knees, trying to get comfortable. He could at least offer you a pillow to kneel on or something. You look around, and spot the only one on his bed. You’re about to ask for it, when he pulls your hair roughly, jerking your head toward his throbbing cock. It was huge. The kind of big that would hurt. You open your mouth, trying to take all of him inside.
You choke and gag, spit dribbling down your chin onto your breasts as you struggle. He looks down at you, hand still tangled in your hair. Your jaw aches already and he’s just getting started. He thrusts his hips forward, pushing your head down simultaneously. Tears fill your eyes as he hits the back of your throat. You can’t help the sob that escapes you as he pulls out, only to forcefully push his way back in.
His thumbs follow the tears on your cheeks, your mascara pooling under your eyes making you look like a raccoon. “You look so pretty when you cry.” He coos, while looking at you adoringly. He thrusts three more times, your nails dig into his thighs, a silent plea to stop. He finally pulls out, collecting you from the floor and gently placing you on his bed.
He places one leg over his shoulder, lining himself up at your entrance. He pushes inside and it’s too much. “It’s- you’re too big.” You explain. Bucky moves your other leg, spreading you wider. “You’re gonna take all of it.” He grunts, wedging himself inside you, bottoming out with one thrust. He ignores your pained scream, leaning down to lick your fresh tears.
“So tight. So perfect. Just for me.” He praises in your ear. Finally, the pain subsides. Bucky feels incredible, his thick cock dragging against the spot that makes your head swim. A gush of arousal soaks him as he swirls his metal thumb in circles on your clit.
“Look at you, such a good girl, dripping all over my cock.” You moan, clenching around him, your long nails clawing his back, drawing blood as your second orgasm rips through you. His thrusts grow sloppy as you feel him go still inside you. His hot cum, drips down your legs as he withdraws himself from you.
Bucky swipes it with his index finger, rubbing it with his thumb. He brings it to your lips, you swirl your tongue around his long digit, loving the way he tastes. You’re caught off guard when his icy, metal hand collects as much cum as he can, stuffing it back inside you.
You twitch, trying to pull away from the cold hand on your heat. “Ah ah ah.” He scolds. He presses his cool thumb to your clit, toying with the oversensitive pearl. “You have to take every drop.” When he’s satisfied with his work, he makes you lay on your back so it doesn’t drip back out.
You close your eyes, the sweet promise of sleep taking over you. You are almost in dream land when you feel the familiar nudge of Bucky’s cock at your sore center. “What are you doing?” You ask, too tired to fight him. “I’m not finished with you yet, doll.” He smiles wickedly, snapping his hips to fill you again.
Tags
@lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @ozymdias @cindylynn @cakesandtom @eleniblue @marygoddessofmischief @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @wheredafandomat @freegardenbanananeck @lokidokieokie @l0ki3000 @multifandom-worlds @alexakeyloveloki @ladymischief11 @kats72 @mischief2sarawr @lamentis-10 @loz-3 @litaloni @lulubelle814 @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @avengersfan25 @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @mybugabomlb @bunny24sstuff @luthien-elvenia-asher @gruftiela @asgards-princess-of-mischief @weirdothatwritess
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kikixreverie · 11 months
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It's called: freefall
Bucky x Female reader
Summary - Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
Word count - 10k
Warnings - (18+) smut, fingering, p in v, friends to lovers, fake marriage, gross misogynistic man (not Bucko), borderline sexual harassment (not too intense, just gross words, and also not Bucky ofc), fluff, kinda angst, more misogyny.
A/N - Hi, this took me weeks to edit for some reason, sorry, and apologies if it's too long/wordy, i got carried away again. I'm not a big fan of the first half ngl, maybe that's because it's bad, or maybe it's because I've read it about a hundred times. The smut is good though, and that's what really matters.
________________________
"It's just a quick job, I promise. It'll be easy."
Steve gave you a smile of encouragement, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him, before politely averting his gaze to the floor when you lifted your dress slightly to slide your usual dagger into the holster on your thigh.
"Then what's with the getup?" You asked, lifting your head to catch sight of yourself in the mirror opposite you, looking at the dress you had been made to wear.
It was a pretty dress, beautiful actually, the colour beautiful against your skin-tone, perfectly fitted in all the right places, and it flowed down to the floor, a slit travelling up the length of your left leg, ending at your upper thigh.
You felt confident in it, and it was certainly a boost to your ego when Natasha wolf-whistled at the sight of you and Steve turned an impressive shade of red, but it wasn't something you were used to, having spent the past few years of your life dodging and refusing Tony's party invites, sticking to the comfiest clothes you owned when walking about the compound. It was a beautiful dress, but you couldn't help but feel like an imposter wearing it.
Natasha strode over to you and slightly adjusted the placement of your knife, ensuring it wasn't visible through the dress. "Daniel Kozlov. He's been on Shield's hit list for years now, fucker keeps catching and killing our agents on the inside."
You scoffed amusedly and shook your head, "What, so you send me in to get killed too?"
"Don't underestimate yourself, I've seen you take down four armed men with a screwdriver; you'll be fine, plus, you'll have Bucky and he knows how to stay undetected." Steve reassured you and you smiled at him, nodding to his words.
You heard footsteps behind you only moments before another voice spoke up, and you turned to the door, your breath catching in your throat as you did.
"That I do," Bucky nodded to Steve as he entered the room, eyes focused on his hands, adjusting his cuff links with a furrowed brow, before he finally tilted his gaze up, meeting your wide eyes with his own.
You barely noticed him looking you up and down, as you were too busy doing the exact same thing to him, no doubt probably being incredibly obvious as you stared with your lips parted. He looked like pure fucking sin.
Unadulterated and unfiltered sin.
His suit was all black and his pale, blue eyes contrasted against the colour, somehow making them stand out even more than usual. His already incredibly muscular arms and legs were accentuated, the expensive fabric tight against his skin, without it looking strange and uncomfortable, it only drew your attention to how broad his shoulders were compared to his narrow waist, or how thick his thighs looked in the black dress pants.
Multiple silver rings graced his fingers, matching with the silver, designer watch on his left wrist and you did a double-take when you noticed that his watch was wrapped around skin, not vibranium.
"Your arm." You said, sounding more like a statement than a question and Bucky forced himself to tear his gaze from your exposed thigh and tried to hide his pink dusted cheeks and breathless intake of air as his eyes followed yours to his metal arm, now concealed by what looked to be skin.
"Yeah." His voice came out as a sigh. He didn't know why, most amputees like him he was sure would be over the moon with the impressive technology, but it just made him uncomfortable, seeing his arm how he did 70 years ago. I felt inherently wrong. "Tony."
You nodded, looking away from his hand. A part of you was annoyed Tony had given it to him, knowing that it took Bucky years to accept that part of himself, and this seemed like it would be a setback in that department, though you still understood why it was necessary, Bucky was the best for the job, and chances are a criminal as 'highbrow' as Kozlov, would recognise the arm.
You wanted to change the subject, and you could tell Bucky did too, so you huffed a laugh and met his eyes, jokingly poking his chest with your finger, "You look like a mobster."
He nodded and chuckled, "Thanks, I guess. You look like a mobster's wife."
"Wife huh? Is that what we're doing?" You ask, turning your head to look down at Nat questioningly as she finished with your dress.
"Did they not tell you?" Bucky asked and you shook your head.
"I missed the briefing but Steve here thought he'd sign me up anyway." You gave the blonde a jokey, reprimanding look and he sighed, picking up two folders from the table and handing them to you.
"Blue one is about Kozlov, and the black is about who you and Bucky are going to be playing."
You take the folders from Steve, handing the blue one to Natasha as you open the black one, "James and Lucille Walter. Hey, how come he gets to keep his name and I get Lucille?"
"That's just a coincidence and I'm sure Bucky isn't too happy about it either. You're pretending to be a real couple, James Walter is one of Kozlov's newest buyers, he doesn't know him very well though, that's why you two shouldn't be caught out by anyone."
Nodding to Steve's words, you quickly skim over the rest of the folder, memorising as much as you can, before swapping with Nat and reading the other one, "And where are the real James and Lucille Walter?"
"Dead."
You stop your reading and turn to Natasha at the sound of her voice, giving her a look when she tried to hide her smirk.
"Ah, yes. Courtesy of Natasha Romanoff herself, Mr and Mrs Walter are in fact, dead" Steve spoke dramatically, causing you to scoff and wink at the redhead beside you.
"We should leave now. I'll explain further in the car and give you a rundown of the plan. Should be an easy job." Bucky takes the folders from you and tucks them under his arm, signalling for you to walk out the door and you give Steve and Natasha a smirk before you leave.
"Wish me luck guys."
_______________________________________
You were picked up from the compound by one of Stark's trusted drivers and Bucky described the plan in detail to you on the way there, but as you arrived closer and closer to your destination, you felt the nerves come on.
Usually, you were behind a computer screen on missions, hacking security cameras and breaking into encrypted files, you had no doubt of your fighting skills, you've been training almost your whole life, and the few missions you've done where you've had to fight were smooth sailing, but you had never done undercover before.
You started nibbling on your lower lip as soon as the car pulled up, doubting yourself again despite the amount of times Natasha has given you a whole speech about why you had no reason to ever do that.
The door on Bucky's side opened and when he offered you his arm to help you out of the car, meeting your eyes and giving you a gentle smile, you felt the nerves calm slightly.
You and Bucky were close in a way that no one had expected, considering he had the tendency to keep himself away from people and stay quiet when he was forced to socialise. You were slow-paced and gentle with him, a huge contrast to the way Sam would constantly be on Bucky about his lack of social skills, or Tony dragging him to parties he had no interest in. Sam always has the best intentions, but sometimes can be a little too enthusiastic for Bucky, and Tony, well sometimes Tony's just a dick with full knowledge of the fact that he's being one, and not a single care in the world about it.
You and Bucky both had an understanding, you had confided in him about your fears, your anxiety, and he had managed to do the same.
You just couldn't help but develop a teeny tiny crush on him over the past few months.
"Don't work yourself up, stay in character, stay alert, and remember the plan."
Nodding to him, you took a deep breath and put yourself into character, reminding yourself of yours and Bucky's new names, keeping your head up as you entered the party, an expensive diamond wrapped around your left ring finger with a similar pattern to the silver band Bucky had on his.
The hall was beautiful, gold detailing adorned the large doors and walls, reaching up to the ceiling to create beautiful patterns against the pristine white of the building. The party-goers were even more beautiful, hundreds of gowns and suits worth more than your life, probably bought and worn for a single night, before they're discarded and forgotten in the back of their walk-in closets.
You felt like you didn't fit in at all, but you watched as party guests eyed the two of you, and they seemed to be approving.
It didn't take you and Bucky long to get situated, stood in the corner of the extravagant hall with a glass of champagne now in your hand as you surveyed the exits and bodyguards, and Bucky looked for the target.
The mission was just a small lead in a huge investigation. You and Bucky were just here to buy something from Kozlov and then get out.
"Got him, 4 o-clock. He's surrounded but he should be expecting us so it shouldn't be an issue." Bucky had leant down to whisper in your ear, his breath tickling against your neck and causing a shiver to rake over your shoulders.
Fuck, he smelled like sin too.
It made you want to take a deeper breath, made you want to pull him even closer, close enough to close that small gap between your lips and kiss him till you run out of breath, and as much as that would be inconspicuous and normal for James and Lucille Walter, it would be completely inappropriate for Bucky and Y/n.
"We shouldn't go over yet. Let's just mingle a bit, get more of a feel of this place and blend into the background as much as we can." You add, and Bucky nods, surveying the room again before meeting your eyes.
"Good idea, but when we do go over, don't make eye contact with him and don't say anything," said Bucky. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, giving him a slightly annoyed, but understanding smile, and he smiled back apologetically, "I know, it's stupid, but that's what these guys are like. If he so much as thinks that you're either, on the table or threatening his masculinity, we're in trouble. Okay?"
You understood what Bucky was saying, men like Kozlov, they see women as property, or in some cases, currency. It's best to stay off their radar as best you can, which includes not threatening his masculinity by daring to look him in the eyes.
Women were to keep their heads down.
Which was bullshit.
"Okay."
He gives you a final nod and you think he's finally about to pull away and have mercy on your heart, but before he does, he pauses and presses his soft, warm lips to your cheek in a gentle kiss.
Air gets caught in your throat as it happens, but you try not to make an audible noise, quickly pulling yourself together and reminding yourself that you and Bucky are pretending to be a couple and he's just trying to sell it better. It makes sense.
It's just pretend.
You spend the whole evening with your hand wrapped around Bucky's bicep, neither of you breaking apart for anything as random people come up to you and try to start conversations. Usually, one of you will take one for the team and has to stand there talking about money and beach houses for five minutes, plus the occasional question about kids, which seemed to make Bucky blush every time, as the other keeps an eye on Kozlov.
"So how long have you two been married?" A seemingly kind lady asks, her red dress matching her lips as they stretch into an awkward smile.
"A year in June," You respond, well-rehearsed at this point as you smile up at your pretend husband, "Can't believe how quickly it's going."
Bucky is quick thinking with the act, and he smiles down at you, his arm wrapping gently around your waist and squeezing you to his side. Your heart probably stopped beating for a moment, and you wondered how he got so good at this, before brushing the thought away and looking back to the woman in the red dress, smiling warmly at her too.
"Ah, bet you two are still in the honeymoon phase. You look completely smitten with each other, it's adorable." She scrunched her nose up on the word 'adorable', her gaze flicking between the two of you before she glanced at her own husband, standing a few feet away as he laughed with a larger group of men, a big glass of whiskey in his hand. She sighed.
You tried to keep your face neutral, smiling and nodding along, but something about what she had said had caught in your chest, and you wished you could see just for a moment from someone else's eyes, just how 'smitten' you both look.
You felt bad for the woman, who stood in the middle of the huge ballroom completely alone and abandoned by her husband, but there wasn't anything you could do for her, and Bucky was subtly hinting to you that you were to go speak with Kozlov soon, so you kissed her cheek and bid her goodbye.
You spared Bucky a quick glance and he was focused on Kozlov, his face stoic as he glanced in his direction discreetly, scanning the exits too, checking for close-by security cameras and windows again, just in case.
"I think it's time, doll." He murmured.
You quickly lift your head to meet his eyes, the pet-name he usually only used when you were tipsy and would brush it off casually, slipping off his tongue, though it had the same effect sober or not, you blushed and nodded.
He smiled at you, almost looking fond, though you were pretty sure he was just offering you a break from the stoic, mission orientated Bucky, before he took a deep breath and reached for your hand on his bicep to hold it with his own, gently squeezing before guiding you towards the target.
As you walked Kozlov's way, who was surrounded by burly, most definitely armed bodyguards, you noticed the women surrounding him too, some with their husbands and all of them looking beyond uncomfortable, staring out at the party with bored, or even nervous expressions.
"James Walter," Bucky nodded to one of the bodyguards, who had stopped you both from passing, and the bodyguard shared a look with another, before nodding and letting you walk on.
Daniel Kozlov was sat comfortably in a velvet armchair as he swirled a glass of whiskey in his hand, seemingly stuck in a boring conversation as he stared at the wall before him, completely uninterested in what the man talking to him had to say.
"Mr Kozlov, I'm James Walter, It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."
Kozlov perked up at the sound of a new voice and a wide, Cheshire cat grin formed on his lips as he regarded you and Bucky, though you kept your eyes to the floor, or seemingly 'admiring' the expensive decorations as the men spoke.
"Ah, my new friend! I was hoping you'd show up, had a few men flake out on me recently," The man spoke dramatically, his thick European accent prevalent and images of his file flashed in your head, remembering that Shield had been taking down his buyers one by one, either arresting them on other charges or putting a bullet between their eyes as Natasha had done with the real Mr and Mrs Walter.
They weren't particularly very nice people, so you didn't hold much guilt for their deaths, or stealing their identity after the fact.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, sir. Heard you've got something I have my interests set on." Bucky's voice was smooth and charismatic, matching Kozlov's energy as best he could, and you couldn't lie, it made your blood run warmer, heat spreading to certain parts of your body you were ashamed to admit were reacting to the confidence he exuded tonight.
"Hm... I suppose I do. Do you always allow your wife to be a part of your deals?" Your looked up slightly at his mention of you, and Kozlov smirked wickedly at the expression on your face, "Women can be god-awful gossips sometimes."
This fucking guy-
Bucky squeezed your hand tightly, forcing the words from his tongue, "I assure you, sir. She is nothing to worry about."
He was just as pissed as you were.
"I don't know, she doesn't really seem like the quiet type, I reckon she's a loud-mouth once she's on her back, although I'm sure having her on her knees will shut her up nice and quiet." He chuckled darkly and Bucky's hand was holding yours so tight, his jaw clenching and unclenching, measured breaths exhaled through his nose, he still managed to keep his face blank though, as did you, quietly seething as you put on the frightened baby deer look that men seemed to love, staring down at the floor.
He needed to think you were in the same position as the other poor, frightened women here, that he'd get bored with you all the same.
You swallowed your tongue though, wanting nothing more than to speak up and put the bastard in his place, right before beating the absolute shit out of him, though you knew that would come in due time, for now all you could do was finish this fucking mission.
"She won't be a problem."
Kozlov laughed, knowing he was getting under James' skin. He stood from the armchair and nodded towards Bucky, the smile sinking, trying to look intimidating, despite the fact that he was practically less than half the size of Bucky, "Make your payment."
Bucky pulled a phone from his pocket, sending a single word in a text and waiting for the confirmation only seconds later, before tucking it away again, "Payment made."
Daniel looked over at a man sat in the corner with a laptop and when he nodded, he turned back to look at Bucky, his hand sneaking into his own pocket and pulling out a hard drive, handing it to Bucky before taking a step back and looking you up and down.
"What's your name, sweetheart?"
You swallowed your irritation, narrowly avoiding the urge to roll your eyes at the way he was eyeing you like a piece of meat, Bucky opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by a glare.
"I asked the wife, not you. Name?" He spoke through gritted teeth, obviously quick to anger, and you fought back the urge to fucking bitch slap him, take the dagger from your thigh and press it to his neck, but you were sticking to the deer in headlights act.
"Lucille."
A smirk overtook his face, a healed scar on his cheek stretching as he did so, "Pretty name for a pretty thing."
At this point, Bucky was squeezing your hand so hard again, your fingers were starting to go numb, the rings he was wearing digging uncomfortably into your skin, but you didn't pull away, instead, you returned the tight grip to try to reassure him.
Taking a step closer to you, Daniel Kozlov lifted his hand to your cheek, making you flinch slightly and you clenched your jaw when the back of his hand caressed your cheek, his skin ice-cold against yours.
"I happen to collect pretty things."
Bucky felt sick to his stomach, knowing that he couldn't do anything besides stand there and watch, stepping out of line in any way would end in a fight, and he knew he couldn't risk lives, or the mission.
A part of you was expecting him to backhand you, but he never did Instead, he touched your cheek for a while longer, glancing over at Bucky with a smile before he took a step away from you and laughed at the murderous look Bucky was trying to hide, he knew that Bucky was in a position where there wasn't much he could do to stop him, and he openly mocked him for it, "I could take her off your hands for the night for you, teach her some manners. Maybe she'll learn to answer her superiors quickly, when they ask her a question."
"Not necessary." Bucky's voice was scarily even, but his jaw was aching from how hard he was grinding his teeth together and he started pulling you closer to him, shooting Kozlov a dangerous glare, "I think it's time we leave."
"Of course, of course. No doubt you need to get her to bed."
Bucky ignored his words and turned, pushing his way past the bodyguards and pulling you along by your hand, making you stumble in your heels.
"James." You called out as you tried to catch up with him. His grip on your hand was starting to hurt again but he kept walking with intent, pulling you out of the grand doors at the entrance to the hall and towards the expensive car you had arrived in.
He handed the driver a wad of cash and told him to leave, giving him a silent glare which obviously meant 'fuck off' when the guy hesitated.
As Bucky pulled open the passenger seat door and helped you into the car, you glared at him, though when he ducked his head into the car and leant over you to put your seatbelt on for you, the intensity behind the glare faded and you were left just staring wide eyed at him, and instead of yelling at him and telling him that you were perfectly capable of doing your own seatbelt, you were lost for words with how close his body was to yours, his breath fanning against your bare shoulder.
You could only breathe when he pulled away and slammed the door shut, rounding the car to get into the driver's seat, not sparing you another glance as he turned on the engine and put the car into gear, speeding off into the city.
his frustration and anger filled the space with tension.
"Bucky, you need to calm down," You tried but he continued to ignore you, one hand on the gear stick and the other gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. You sighed, his frustration and anger filled the space with tension, and you concluded that he was a grown man who could calm himself down.
You dropped your head against the seat as you focused on the view outside your window, the lights of the city burning bright against the night sky.
You glanced at the side-view mirror, and rolled your eyes when you realised it was the same car that was behind you when you left the party, "We're being followed."
Bucky's hearing was obviously working. When he heard what you said, his eyes lifted to the rear-view mirror and he sighed heavily, "Fuck."
"Where are we gonna go? None of the safehouses are fancy enough for Mr and Mrs Walter."
"We'll have to go to a hotel, they shouldn't give us any trouble unless we seem suspicious. There's no way Kozlov would have us killed immediately after a sale, too risky," You nod at his words, knowing that Bucky was an expert at things like this due to his past with Hydra, he knew how men like Kozlov worked, how their brains ticked, and you trusted him completely. "Okay, I know where to go." He said as you kept an eye on the car, taking note of the plate number and trying to get a view of the person driving it, "Text Nat with the burner in my pocket, tell her we'll be at The Pierre, tell her to bring backup just in case but keep them minimally armed, it's just a precaution."
You sigh again, looking away from the car behind you and back to Bucky, "Which pocket?"
"Inside pocket, left side."
You nibbled on your lower lip as you reached over to him, and he tilted his body to you slightly in assistance. Bucky gulped, and you blushed as your hands brushed against his shirt when you reached into his suit jacket, searching for the pocket.
His body was incredibly warm and it only made you want to draw out the situation even longer as Bucky fought to keep his concentration on the road and the car behind, but eventually, your fingers brushed against the phone and you hesitantly pulled it out and sat back in your seat, a long exhale coming from him as you did so and he readjusted his grip on the steering wheel, shooting you a quick glance, his gaze falling to how exposed your thigh had become with the movement, though he tore his eyes away quickly.
You slipped the phone back into Bucky's pocket once you had received Natasha's quick response, and Bucky pulled up to the hotel. You watched in quiet amusement as the man following parked not-so-discreetly, a bit further down the street.
"Remember who your playing." Bucky shot you a final glance as he turned off the ignition and got out of the car, straightening out his suit jacket as he walked to the passenger side and pulled open the door, offering his arm to you and helping you out of the car.
You hated how real it all felt, him doting on you when you were trying desperately hard to convince yourself it was an act, but you still wrapped both your hands around his arm, draping yourself against his side as you walked towards the entrance, telling yourself that you did it only for the upkeep of the ruse.
The tension between you was undeniable as Bucky looked down at you, his expression serious, but not stern, only intense.
"James? Are we going in?" You asked, using his fake yet real name and it seemed to wake him from his daze, nodding as he reminded himself of his surroundings and the man now wandering closer to them, his phone to his ear, though he didn't speak into it.
"Course, doll. Just admiring my wife's beauty in the city lights."
Your mouth fell open slightly at his words but he didn't give you much time to react before he was walking you into the hotel, and you were thankful that he wasn't dragging you this time.
Bucky didn't waste any time, quickly moving to one of the people running the front desk and glaring down at him.
"Name?"
"James Walter," He spoke and the man nodded, typing something out on his computer before handing Bucky a black key-card, giving him a fearful smile.
Stepping away from the front desk, Bucky moved to your left as he discreetly put his hand into his pocket and slipped the burner phone into your hand, and you switched the phone into your right hand once you realised his plan, tossing the phone into the garbage bag on the back of a janitors cart before walking into the elevator.
You sighed heavily as you both finally entered the hotel room, trudging to the bed in the middle of the giant room and collapsing on it as Bucky started scoping out the room, quickly checking the bathroom and shutting all the curtains.
"We're going to have to stay here all night, aren't we? That guy isn't gonna go anywhere." You sighed, closing your eyes as you sunk into the mattress.
"One bed." Bucky said, and you peaked your eyes open one at a time, moving your gaze to the man now slouched in the armchair tucked into the corner of the large room, still looking beyond annoyed.
"Huh?"
His jaw ticked in annoyance as his head fell back against the chair, "There's only one bed."
Oh.
"Oh," You sat up on the bed, looking around the room awkwardly.
You didn't really want to think about what that could mean, it either formed butterflies in your stomach, or disappointment.
He didn't have to act so upset about it.
"Is it that bad?" You scoffed, half joking, half serious, and Bucky lifted his head, his eyes widening, lips parted.
"No, that's not what I-" He cut himself off, sighing and furrowing his eyebrows, looking guilty, "Sorry. I'm just so fucking annoyed."
You smiled and nodded, "I know, me too. We're one step closer to getting this guy though, Buck."
He nodded too, eyes closing again, his jaw unclenching, finding some kind of relief in your words.
"We don't have to share if you don't want, but I'm okay with it if you are. I trust you. Plus, we've fallen asleep on the couch together before, can't be that much different." You shrugged, acting nonchalant, although you felt extremely not, as you stood up, sick of the feeling of your knife's handle digging uncomfortably in your skin.
You pulled your skirt up to expose your other thigh, lifting your right foot to rest on the bed, while making sure not to flash Bucky in the process as you pull the dagger out, throwing it back on the bed, leaving the garter on for now.
His breath caught in his throat at the sight, watching as your dagger glided against the skin of your thigh as you removed it from yourself, tossing it onto the white bed sheets before dropping your foot back to the floor.
"No it's... I don't- uh." He trailed off, losing his train of thought, obviously distracted.
You looked at him, eyes dropping to follow the movement of his tongue wetting his lips, and you knew you'd never get the sight of him right now out of your mind. His legs were spread, sitting comfortably in the chair, one of his arms draped over the arm of the chair, while he rested his elbow with the other one, holding his head up with his thumb and index finger on the side of his tilted head.
He regarded you silently, his eyes dazed, and you wondered if it could possibly be because he was feeling the same exact way as you right now.
Bucky was struggling to think straight, scrunching his face up in frustration when he finally snapped out of his daze, the frustration completely different to what he was feeling before, now he just couldn't get the image of your thighs out of his mind, or the black thigh garter you still wore under your dress.
God, you drive him fucking crazy.
You chewed the inside of your cheek when he sighed again, "Buck, you need to chill out. I know Kozlov is a fucking asshole, but we expected that. We got the mission done with no big issues."
He stared up at the ceiling, feeling so guilty that he was looking at you that way, thinking about you in that way, especially after the reminder of Kozlov and how undoubtedly uncomfortable he must've made you feel.
"I know, I just hate feeling powerless. That prick was touching you and saying horrible shit and I just stood there-"
"Bucky."
He huffed a breath and opened his eyes, only to be met with the beautiful sight of you stood before him, only a few feet away, your dress clinging to all the right places and your eyes locked to his and he felt a familiar heat stirring up inside him again. He stared up at you as if you were a heaven-sent angel.
The tension in the room was so thick, and you both knew why, though neither of you had the guts to admit, nor say anything about it.
Your intentions were pure at first, and for some reason, on the way towards where he was sitting, you never thought about the very un-pure version of your actions until you were stood in front of him, barely thinking about it when you sunk to your knees before him, your hands resting just above his knees on his spread legs.
At first, you told yourself it was because you wanted to talk to him properly, make sure he was okay, and that included you being on his level physically, but now you realised it was mostly because you so desperately wanted to see him like this, his gaze heated, looking down at you between his thighs with parted lips.
It didn't matter that you were the one on your knees, you'd never felt more powerful.
His gaze was unwavering, the intense, lustful look in his eyes alone had you clenching your thighs together as you thought about your next move, and Bucky lifted one of his hands towards your face, brushing the back of his fingers down your cheek, just as Kozlov had done earlier, though this touch was completely different, and your eyes fluttered shut, a sigh escaping you as his fingers caressed your cheek, ridding the memory of Kozlov's cold skin against yours with his soft, warm touch, and you pulled your eyes open to meet his again, lifting your hand to take hold of his.
You looked down at the rings he was wearing, one on almost each finger, apparently it was a common style choice from James Walter, and it wasn't the first time tonight that you'd silently thanked the dead mobster for that fact.
They'd been catching your eye all night, and you lifted his knuckles to your lips, placing a kiss against the smooth metal of the first one on his index finger, and then the next one, and the next.
Bucky watched you kiss his rings, his eyes darkening with every touch of your soft lips to his knuckles, so entranced by you, slowly sinking further into the seat, melting with each touch.
He couldn't think of any repercussions right now, couldn't think of a single reason to stop you, all he could think about was what you were doing to him right now, and where these actions could lead you, and his pants were getting tighter by the second.
You met his eyes with your lips still on his knuckles, and you both immediately knew what this was, where this could be going, and that the thick tension between you, was sexual tension like no other.
Bucky's heart must've stopped when you opened his fist and slipped his index and middle finger past your lips, enveloping them in the hot, wetness of your mouth, your soft tongue circling over his digits, sucking on them, He couldn't help but groan, leaning his head back, though still keeping his half-lidded eyes on you.
"Fuck, doll. So fuckin' gorgeous."
You weren't thinking straight, you must not've been, because why the hell would you be doing this, why was it something you didn't even have to question, why did it feel so natural, and so fucking right.
The words that slipped past his lips were doing things to you, and the way that his fingers pressed down on your tongue slightly, but weren't nearly as heavy against it as something else you wanted on your tongue would be, you were a goner, and your underwear was already soaked.
You pulled his fingers from your mouth but kept hold of them as you crawled onto his lap, his arm immediately wrapped around your waist, holding you to him, his lips so close to yours you were sharing breath.
Slowly, you guided his fingers down, sliding them under the slit in your dress to bring them to your covered core, watching his facial expression intently, watching for any sign of discomfort.
There was none, and his breath caught in his throat when his fingers made contact, the heat of you radiating against his hand, he could already feel how wet you are.
"Fuck." He breathed, eyebrows furrowing, forehead resting on yours, "You sure about this sweetheart? You want me to touch you?"
You nodded immediately, biting your lower lip, pressing his hand against you harder, "Yes. Are you sure?"
He nodded back, "Never been more sure about anything in my fuckin' life."
You moaned when he finally started moving his fingers, circling your clit gently over your underwear, though with enough pressure to give some sort of relief, but it was when he pulled your panties aside, and dipped his fingers into your wetness, spreading your folds and gathering your slick, before pressing his fingers against your clit and rubbing you in tighter circles, that you were a mess in his lap.
"Bucky-" You whimpered, rolling your hips slightly, and he licked his lips again, nudging his nose against yours, wanting so desperately to kiss you, but also not wanting to miss a single expression you made, he wanted to watch you fall apart under his touch, again, and again, and again.
"You know something, sweetheart?" He asked, waiting for confirmation that you were paying attention to him before continuing.
You rolled your hips again, staring into his eyes, moaning out in pleasure, "What?"
"You drove me fucking crazy tonight, every time you touched me, every time you looked at me- God, whenever you said my name- I'd never heard you call me that before, my first name, fuck I don't ever want to stop hearin' you callin' me that."
His words made you dizzy, the confirmation that he'd felt the same as you all night, the confession that he loved it when you called him 'James' just as much as you loved calling him it, you were sinking deeper and deeper into this feeling, that this moment couldn't be more right, more necessary, like you'd both been needing this for months now.
By the time he had finished talking, he had slowed his touch to a complete stop, and dipped his fingers lower, pushing them inside you.
You gasped, he groaned, and when he curled them, finding that sweet spot inside you and pushing against it perfectly, you cried out, dropping your forehead to his shoulder and tucking your face in his neck.
He didn't let up with his gentle thrusting, and the insistent rubbing against that spongy spot inside of your cunt. He used his free hand to move your head from his shoulder, leaning himself forward slightly, holding you closer, and finally kissing you.
You whimpered and moaned against his lips, though returned the kiss passionately, both of your hands in his hair, your tongue gliding against his own.
This was unlike any experience you'd ever had, every touch dialled up to 100.
He used his thumb to rub your clit, still curling and rubbing his fingers against your walls, and when you started to clench down on him, he pulled back from the kiss.
"C'mon, kitten, cum on my fingers like a good girl." He purred, and your head tilted back, moaning as you came, your orgasm only spurred on quicker by his words.
"James-" You whimpered, his touch not letting up as he pleasured you through your orgasm, though when you were through most of it, you crashed your lips to his.
You kissed until you ran out of breath, doing exactly what you had wanted to do earlier, what you had wanted to do for months. Bucky gently eased his fingers out of you, and when you tucked your face in his neck again, catching your breath, you could tell he was sucking them clean, moaning at the taste of you.
It was quiet for a moment between you, only the gentle sound of your slightly laboured breath filling the space, Bucky held you close to him, his fingers gently tracing up and down your spine through the fabric of your dress, you gave a pleased hum and kissed his neck, just above his collar.
It didn't matter that you'd just barely come down from an orgasm, you needed more, you needed him.
"James." You whispered against his neck, just below his ear and he just about melted into the chair beneath you, humming to let you know he was listening, though you didn't say anything else, a part of you just wanted to say his name again, and to feel his pleased reaction to it.
His body was so warm under yours, but there were far too many layers of fabric between you and him and you desperately wanted to fix that, 'adjusting' yourself on his lap just so you could provide some friction between you, biting your lip and sighing into his ear when you felt how hard he was beneath you, he groaned and gripped your hips tightly.
"I wanna feel you inside me, James." Your voice was as sweet as sugar, breath warm against his skin, and your heated core was seated just above where his hard cock was pressing tightly against his pants, throbbing with every small movement you made.
"Fuck, sweetheart." He husked, no doubt sounding like a broken record, though he didn't care much about that, not when you were pressing yourself against him like that, slowly rocking in his lap, not when he could still faintly taste you in his mouth from where he had sucked his fingers clean, not with your mouth on his neck, whispering dirty things.
You kissed the hinge of his jaw, then ghosted your lips lower, pressing a kiss just below his ear, before making your way to the other side, leaving sweet kisses as you went.
You met his eye as you traced your hand up his black shirt, watching his expression as you slowly loosened his tie, and popped the top button open, and then the next, giving yourself better access to the skin there, kissing below his Adam's apple.
"C'mon, Buck. You wanna fuck me?" You asked, looking up at him through your lashes this time, teasing him with a smirk.
He bit his lip, holding your cheek in his palm, thumb swiping across your cheekbone, his eyes darting across your face, taking in every detail he could while he was so close to you.
So pretty.
"I do, of course I do, doll." He said back, his eyes following the movement of his thumb against soft skin. You could sense the 'but' coming, "But... I don't think we should-"
"Bucky." You interrupted, stopping what you know would've become this huge, self-doubting, self-sabotaging speech, and he met your eyes again, sighing slightly, his head tilted, "If we both want this, then why can't we have it?"
He didn't know what to say, he couldn't imagine a world were someone would really want him, as he was, much less a smart, loving and kind, beautiful girl like yourself. He believed you when you said you wanted this, but was still unsure if you would really want him, want him beyond this moment.
"If we go further, I'll never be able to get enough of you." He spoke quietly, this moment between you was so intimate, which was something he'd not experienced in decades. It was terrifying, but so perfect, so right. 
"You have all of me, Bucky. I want you, not just tonight. I've wanted you for months, honey, and if you want me too then what have we got to lose? You can have me whenever you need me, whenever you want me, I'm yours, yours now, yours tomorrow. If you need a hug," You wrapped your arms around his neck as you spoke and held him tighter, "If you need a kiss," You pressed your lips to his, "If you need a release; I'll be there, because you have me, always have."
By the time you were just halfway into your speech, Bucky was a puddle, his brain short-circuiting, his heart beating much faster than it should be with him just sitting, and his whole world view collapsing.
You were his.
You wanted to be his.
He was yours completely.
He surged forward to press his lips to yours, and kissed you for a long moment, using his tongue to memorise the feel of your mouth, the heat of your own tongue against his, and he stood as he kissed you, holding you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
He carried you with such ease and sat down on the edge of the huge bed, not once breaking the kiss, or putting an ounce space between your bodies.
You helped him to shrug off his suit jacket, tossing it to the floor as if it didn't probably cost hundreds of dollars, and deft fingers quickly reached to undo his tie.
The tie was silky and smooth, and your imagination was bright with ideas, the image of Bucky fucking you, with your hands tied above your head, or maybe tying Bucky up just the same, kissing his cock teasingly, without letting him touch you.
You tabled the ideas for now, tossing the tie aside.
You could experiment with him in due time, for now you just wanted to be able to touch him as much as possible.
You were both still enraptured in the kiss when Bucky stood again, this time turning around, and laying you down on the mattress, pressing himself against you as he placed one last kiss on your lips, and pulled back to admire the sight of you, blushing with kiss-bitten lips as you lay beneath him.
He traced his hands down your body and stood at the end of the bed, his shirt almost halfway undone.
His fingers glided down your legs, and ended at your ankles as he eyed the strappy heals you wore, admiring how beautiful you looked in them. He imagined keeping them on you, stripping you down and bending you over the closest surface, whilst still wearing the heels, maybe keeping on the thigh-garter too, but he wanted you comfortable, and he wanted you naked.
Gently, he undid the strap on one of your heels, and slowly pulled it off, before doing the same to the other one.
He kept glancing up at you as he did so, watching you so intently, he didn't dare miss a single moment, a single change in your expression.
His hands traced back up your legs, this time, he kissed his way up too, kissing you ankle, your shin, just below the garter.
He stopped himself though, and looked you in the eyes, that serious look returning, "Are you sure you want this?"
"Yes. Please, James."
He smirked, he couldn't not, and his hand drifted to your hip, squeezing there, before using both his hands to flip you over, leaning over you and pressing his hand against your back.
You gasped in surprise, and then felt his fingers against the zip of the dress, his breath against the nape of your neck.
"Should we take this off?" He asked sweetly, and you nodded silently, your voice trapped in your throat, that cocky, dominant persona you had taken on earlier apparently about to be fucked out of you. You couldn't wait.
He flipped you back over to help ease the dress off, leaving you only in a lacy pair of underwear, your chest exposed to him, and once the dress was on the floor, and Bucky allowed himself the chance to finally look at you, he groaned roughly, draping his body over yours and reaching up to caress your breasts, watching as his thumb traced over the hardened peaks of your nipples, "So fucking gorgeous."
Your hands were in his hair, back arching into his touch when he took your nipple into his mouth, paying attention to the other one with his fingers, and as much as you were enjoying it, he was still wearing way too much, and you put your fingers under his chin, pulling his mouth away from you.
He kissed you as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pulled it off, quickly followed by his pants and soon you were both left in your underwear.
You pushed at his shoulder, and he eventually got the memo, and rolled aside, letting you sit on top of him, carefully moving the dagger you had left on the bed onto the bedside table.
When you pulled back from the kiss, he continued to kiss down your chest, but your eyes drifted to the hand he had on your waist, the left one, that still looked like skin even though it wasn't.
You had almost completely forgotten about it, it felt just like skin, was warm like skin, and looked unbelievably life-like, but there was something about it that you really didn't like, it wasn't him, it might've been once, but as Bucky has told you before, he's not been the man he was back in the 40s in over seventy years, and he probably wouldn't ever be him again, which you reminded him was okay, that he didn't owe Steve the version of himself that Bucky thought he would need.
You knew about the struggles Bucky has had with his metal arm, the history that there is behind it, and the hatred he had for it when he was first rehabilitated. You didn't want this impressive Stark invention to become something he used to hide this part of himself, against the needs of his own healing.
You started at his left shoulder, and traced your fingers down the arm, stopping at the silver watch on his wrist, and Bucky stopped kissing you, watching you, waiting.
"Is it the watch?" You asked, and he hesitated, before nodding.
"You don't have to take it off."
You paused, looking down at him, he looked slightly uncomfortable, and you needed to change that.
"I'd like to take it off. Do you want to leave it on?"
He was quiet for a moment, thinking about your question. It made him uncomfortable, seeing the uncanny, flesh arm in place of the metal one he knew was there, and to see a human arm, yet not be able to really feel the touch of your skin against it, only pressure and heat. He didn't like it.
He shook his head, and you smiled, kissing him again as you carefully undid the watch with your mouth still on his, pulling back to see his metal arm visible again, and you intertwined your fingers with his, metal against skin.
You did the same with his other hand, intertwining your fingers, before lifting them both above his head, pressing them into the mattress. You knew he could very easily break out of your grasp, but that didn't make the sight any less pleasing.
You rocked your hips against his, just as you did before, and he groaned, lifting his own hips, seeking more friction.
Reluctantly, you released his hands, and quickly took off your underwear, leaving you naked above him, before you took his off too.
You couldn't possibly be any wetter, your inner thighs a mess of slick as you watched his cock slap against his stomach, painfully hard and leaking at the tip.
"Fuck, James. D'you know how beautiful you are?" You asked, slowly touching the underside of his cock, tracing an enticing vein, before gripping him in your hand and squeezing him.
A moan slipped past his lips, hips lifting from the bed again.
He shook his head in response to you, smiling, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"
He flipped you both over again, his hands tracing your body, lingering in certain areas, squeezing your breasts, caressing your stomach, lifting your thigh to rest on his hip, dipping between your legs to press down on your clit, "You're fuckin' breathtaking, doll, and so fucking wet."
He gathered some of your wetness on his fingers, and dipped them back into his mouth again for a taste, moaning around them.
"I wanna eat you so bad, kitten." He lowered himself to you, resting on his elbows on either side of your head, kissing your neck.
"Later. I need you inside me, James." You pressed your core against him, and he nodded, reaching between the two of you to line himself up, slowly easing inside.
You both moaned as he slid inside you, Bucky's eyes fluttering shut, savouring the sensation whilst trying desperately hard not to give in to the urge to immediately bury himself at the hilt, and fuck you without a moments hesitation.
His hips twitched, cock throbbing inside of you, both of you were so desperate for this, and when he finally pulled his hips back, and rolled them back to yours, it was relief like no other.
His first few thrusts were slower, so enraptured by how you felt around him, hot and wet, and fucking perfect. Eventually, he started to speed up, but favoured fucking you harder, rather than faster. He didn't want this to end too quickly.
You were sprawled beneath him, biting your lower lip and moaning with every stroke of his cock against your walls, his body completely draped over yours so with every roll of his hips, his pelvis stimulated your clit. When he started to fuck you harder, repeatedly hitting a spot deep inside you that made you see stars, you were crying out in pleasure, already feeling close to another orgasm.
"Fuck, sweetheart, you feel so good, y'know that? I'm never gonna get enough of this, gonna want to fuck you all the time, 'm never gonna think of anything else." His forehead was resting on your shoulder, one of his hands on your stomach as his other held him up on the bed, "I want you to be mine. Mine to fuck, mine to kiss, mine every minute of the day. God, I want everyone to know, sweetheart, want them to know you're James' girl."
You were moaning with every word, nodding along, whining when his hand drifted lower, his thumb hovering over your clit, but staying completely still, teasing you.
Your heart was so full, just like your cunt, and you hoped to god he'd follow through on his promises, you needed to be his, just as much as you needed him to be yours.
"James, please." You begged, arching your back into him, and he lifted his head from your shoulder to look at you, smiling with a shake of his head.
"You beg real pretty, doll, but you can do better than that. Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."
Your eyes practically rolled back, fuck, you loved hearing him talk like this, "I want to cum, please."
He nodded, leaning in close to you, "You want to cum? I'll let you cum, princess."
He began to rub your clit in steady circles, keeping up a steady rhythm that dragged you so close to release.
"C'mon, come for me, sweetheart."
Your eyes fluttered shut as your orgasm rushed over you, and you gripped Bucky's hair tighter, your cunt clenching around him sending him head first into his own orgasm, his hips stuttering against yours as he came inside you, filling you up with his seed.
His forehead was pressed to yours, both of you slowly coming down from your high, and Bucky waited till you'd caught your breath to lean down and kiss you, slower this time, savouring the taste of you as best he could.
You kissed him back eagerly, aftershocks of your orgasm washing over you and making you clench down on him, still inside of you. Bucky groaned into your mouth, before he hesitantly broke the kiss, and leaned back to slide out of you.
"Fuck, sweetheart, such a fucking mess we made." He breathed roughly, glancing down between your legs, watching his cum seep out of you, so turned on by the filthy sight, before looking up at you again, tracing his eyes up your body, completely bared to him. He took in every detail, and smiled at your flushed cheeks, "You're so fucking beautiful."
You smiled back at him, shaking your head as you wrapped your legs around him and reached out, pulling him back down to you to nudge your nose against his, watching the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled, "So are you."
He huffed a laugh and kissed you, before burying his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you and holding you as close to him as possible, practically laying completely on top of you, though he held most of his own weight. As much as you would completely, happily welcome the weight of him on top of you, you also know that breathing is kind of a necessary thing to survive... sadly.
"We need to shower." He murmured against your skin, rubbing his stubbly jaw against your shoulder.
You hummed and nodded, raking your nails across the surface of his back.
"We should probably talk too." He followed, keeping his face hidden from your sight.
"We should, but I don't think there's much to talk about that we haven't already. We both want each other, and not just physically."
He lifted his head and gazed down at you, his expression vulnerable, more vulnerable than you'd ever seen him, even with him naked above you, "So... like lovers?"
You smiled at the old-fashioned term, much preferring it to boyfriend and girlfriend, and you nodded, gently brushing hair from his face, "I'd love that, Buck, if you want that too?"
"Yes, I want that, so much."
"Good, let's make it official then."
He nodded smiling down at you, before he stood from the bed, and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you to the hotel en-suite like he had carried you to the bed earlier.
"You're my girl now, sweetheart." He whispered to your ear, loving the way it sounded on his lips.
"And you're my guy." You replied, kissing his nose.
"Sure am." He smiled proudly, setting you down on the bathroom sink as he turned the shower on, before he turned back to you, leaning on his hands, which rested either side of you, "I will be taking you out on a date when we get back, just so you know."
"I can't wait, baby."
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kinanabinks · 6 months
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let it be known
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bucky has tried to keep your friendship on the low, believing that's the best way to keep you safe. but he soon realizes that it's safer for you if everyone in new york knows you're with him.
content warning: mob!bucky x best friend!f!reader, mature themes, upsetting themes, mention of violence and injury against reader, reader is physically assaulted by a male (off-screen), angst, we finally meet bucky's mom!! mention of reader's mom having drug abuse issues, fluff, soft!bucky, pining, seemingly unrequited love.
set pre-wedding.
series masterlist
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Steve Rogers rarely gets the chance to spend time with a woman he's genuinely attracted to. As one of the biggest players in New York's dark underworld, his job is intense and takes over his life. But tonight, he finds himself sitting in a bar, not the kind of bar he'd expect to find someone in, talking to a woman he thinks is the most gorgeous person he's ever met.
"I'm gonna make a quick stop by the ladies room and then I'll be right back," Clara tells him with a smirk on her red lips as she stands up. "And then, maybe, I'll think about letting you take me home."
Once she's gone, the smell of her perfume lingers. Steve lets out a content sigh. This is his first night off in weeks, and his first night with a woman he's intellectually connected to in years. He's usually in strip clubs or meetings with other depraved men on a Friday night, but this is different. Good.
Meanwhile, you stumble into the same bar, utterly shaken up. Bruises cover your face and your index finger is in excruciating pain. You have no idea where you are, you've lost your phone, and the last thing you remember before passing out is being thrown to the ground. The men in this place don't seem the type to help you. You were hoping to spot a kind barmaid, but the men behind the bar look meaner than the patrons.
Then - you spot him. You could almost cry with relief. Sure, he probably isn't the ideal person to help you right now, but he's a familiar face with links to the man you need. "Steve," You breathe out with a croaky voice, rushing over to him.
He doesn't notice you until you're right next to him, and he almost jumps back when he sees the state you're in. "Y/N?"
"Take me to Bucky," You plead as tears spring into your eyes.
He's already on his feet and helping you out of the bar by the time you finish speaking. He hasn't met you many times before but he knows you're a friend of Bucky Barnes, and he knows he'd be killed if he did anything less than what you ask for right now, especially with the state you're in. Him and Bucky aren't exactly friends, but Steve knows better than to get on the mobster's bad side.
"What happened?" He asks you, but you can't answer. There's too much fear, anxiety, pain swarming your mind for you to process anything else.
Just as Steve puts you in the car, he looks back at the bar. There, in the door, stands Clara with a look of disappointment on her face. Shit. He has no time to go over to her and explain. To her, it seems he's found another woman to take home, but he can't do anything to prove her wrong right now. With a sigh, Steve rushes to the driver's side and gets in, speeding out of the car park and back towards the city.
"Can I use your phone to call Jamie?" You ask him, to which he unlocks his phone and hands it to you straight away.
You scroll through until you find Bucky's name and immediately call him. It rings a few times before you realize he isn't going to pick up. "Do you have his private number?" You ask Steve, who regretfully shakes his head.
Fuck.
Looking through his contacts, you decide to try Sam, instead.
"What do you want, Rogers?" He says, picking up after a couple of rings.
"It's me," You say. "I- I need Jamie, I- I need him."
"What's wrong?" Sam asks you with concern in his voice. It's not often that you're in trouble, but him and Bucky have a firm plan in place for if something were to happen to you. "Are you okay?"
"I lost my phone and Steve doesn't have his private number," You say as tears spring into your eyes. "I'm really hurt, Sam, I think I need to go to the hospital."
Sam's blood runs cold at your words. It's one thing for you to be followed, or harassed, or verbally insulted - but someone has physically harmed you? He's already in Bucky's house so he makes his way to the lounge where he is, mentally preparing to burn the city down alongside him.
"Just get to Bucky's place, Y/N, I'll call the doc over and he'll sort you out," He tells you, keeping his tone firm. "Do you know where you are?"
"Uh, not really," You admit.
"Give the phone to Rogers, let me talk to him," Sam instructs you, which you do.
While they discuss details, you close your eyes and hope it won't take too long to get to Bucky. Tonight was the first time in a long time that you've felt scared for your life, and all you want is for him to tell you it'll be okay.
"We'll be at Barnes' place in ten minutes," Steve assures you as he hands the phone back to you.
You bring the phone back up to your face. "Sam, can you-"
"It's me, fairy."
Your heart skips a beat. "Jamie, I'm so sorry," You cry as the tears finally spill over. "You told me not to talk to her, but I - I thought she might-"
"Dina? You went to see her?" He cuts you off, and you can't tell if it's rage or concern in his voice.
"I thought we'd be able to make up," You explain, hating how stupid you were. "I thought it would be a good idea, I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," He says sternly. "Did she hurt you?"
"He was there," You tell him with a wince.
Bucky lets out a sigh and you know it's taking him every bit of willpower he has not to yell at you.
"I wouldn't have gone if I knew he'd be there," You swear. "Halle said it was a girls' night-"
"I'll talk to you when you get here," He says firmly, making you wince.
"I'm sorry," You whisper before hanging up, unable to hear any more of his disappointment-tinged words any longer.
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Bucky's waiting for you by the large fountain as Steve drives his car in.
He walks over and opens the passenger door, crouching down when he sees the state you're in. All anger and disappointment escapes his features, replaced with pain.
"Baby, did he do this to you?" Bucky asks you lowly, his fingers ghosting over your bruises.
Steve leaves the car and walks over to Sam as they begin to discuss what happened and how you ended up in Steve's car.
"I was speaking to Dina outside the club," You begin, looking down as you recall the events of tonight. "We started arguing again. He came out... said I was just trying to break them up, and... it's my fault, I pushed him."
"Fairy," Bucky says sternly, taking your hand in his. "He touched you? He did this to you?"
"He got really angry," You say with a grimace. "I pushed him first, but he... he lost his mind, he got so angry. I just suddenly felt dizzy, then realized he'd hit me. And he wouldn't stop."
Bucky tightly grabs your hands, making you cry out in pain.
"My finger," You whimper, pulling it out of his hand. "He- he broke it."
A cold look overtakes Bucky's face. It's not a look you see on him very often, but you know better than to try and calm him down when he's like this.
"Sam," Bucky calls out, turning his head to the side. "Brent Parkinson. Find him and bring him to me. Alive."
"I'll come with you," Steve chimes in, wanting to take this chance to prove himself as a worthy acquaintance for Bucky. "I have connections all over the city."
"Go home, Rogers," Bucky orders sternly as he stands up. "I appreciate you bringing Y/N back, but you're no longer needed."
"Come on, Bucky," Steve says, stepping closer to him. "I can help you find this son of a bitch. Which club were you at, honey? I guarantee I either own it or know who does."
With a clenched jaw, Bucky lets out a huff.
"Firecracker," You tell Steve, who immediately nods.
"Yeah, I know Gary," He says confidently before patting Sam's shoulder. "Come on, Wilson, let's go find this prick."
Bucky takes you inside his home, leaving them to drive off.
His doctor checks you out and cleans you up before putting your broken finger into a splint. He tells you it should be healed within a month before giving you some painkillers and taking his leave.
You're lying in Bucky's bed and he's watching you from the doorframe. He hasn't said a word to you since you came inside. You aren't sure what he's thinking, but you know he isn't happy.
Once the doctor's gone, Bucky slowly walks into the room and takes a seat on the bed.
"I'm so-"
"Don't," Bucky cuts you off, looking down at you. "Don't apologize to me, fairy."
"I should've told you," You say lowly. "I didn't think. I was stupid."
He lets out a sigh and gently takes your hand. "This is why I try to keep you to myself. I don't bring you to the big parties, I don't let the world know you're connected to me. To keep you safe from shit like this," He says, shaking his head. "I thought that was how I'd protect you. If I kept you a secret. If men like me didn't know about you, they wouldn't know you're my biggest weakness. They wouldn't hurt you to get to me."
You listen on in silence, wondering where he's going with this.
"I was wrong," He admits plainly. "It isn't just men like me I need to protect you from. There's a whole fucking world of bad out there, fairy, and tonight just proved that. Parkinson's just another fucking loser and he was able to hurt you tonight." Bucky brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly. "Never again. Nobody will ever look at you and think they can harm you again. From now on, they will look at you and they will see me. They will know you're one of mine. The whole world will know it. And they'll know better than to fuck with you."
"How?" You ask with a whisper.
He leans in closer. "Once Sam finds me this asshole," He begins. "I'm gonna rip him apart, limb from limb. I'll make an example out of him; fucking stick his head on a spike and parade it around the city if needs be. I will make it absolutely clear that you are mine, fairy. And nobody will ever touch you again."
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Brent's screams travel up from the basement. You listen, allowing his pain to bring you some respite. It's not just you that Bucky's avenging - he's also preventing Brent from continuing his toxic relationship with Dina. She's a terrible person for standing by while he beat you, but at least she won't have to be under his thumb anymore.
A knock at Bucky's bedroom door confuses you. Bucky and Sam are in the basement with Brent and the housemaids and butlers have been sent home for the night.
Cautiously, you stand up from his bed. "Come in," You call out.
The door slowly opens and you see Bucky's mother standing there. You're taken aback - it's rare to see her in the city, let alone in Bucky's home. She does her best to stay far away from the life, which you don't blame her for.
You've only met her once before; a fleeting moment of awkwardness while you were leaving Bucky's place and she was just arriving, and you aren't sure what to make of her - or what she makes of you.
"Mrs. Barnes," You breathe out.
She looks shocked when she sees the bruises on your face. Taking a step closer to you, she shakes her head, lips parted. "My... was this James?"
You hear the fear and pain in her voice and immediately you seek to alleviate her. "Oh, my God, no!" You exclaim quickly. "Bucky would never - he has never and would never lay a hand on me, Mrs. Barnes. Never."
She nods, slight relief in her features. "Right. Let's... follow me to the kitchen, I need a snack."
Winnifred fries some zucchini for the two of you to share. You're incredibly intimidated by her and you know how much Bucky loves and respects her, so you're keen to make a good impression. Being covered in bruises with a splint on your finger probably isn't the best way to achieve that.
"Was it one of his enemies?" She asks while the two of you eat.
You shake your head before taking a quick sip of water. "Nothing to do with Bucky. My friend's dating this terrible guy... I got in a fight with him," You explain, looking down at the plate. "He, uh, took it a little far."
"You don't say," She mumbles, before raising a brow. "Well, now my son's making him pay for it, huh?"
A small smile grows on your lips. "Yep."
"He's always been like that," Winnifred tells you with a smile of her own. "Protective. Overly so, maybe."
"He's a good friend to me," You tell her honestly. "Bucky's my best friend. You raised a great man."
"I did, didn't I?" She returns brightly, before reaching out for your hand. "I'm sorry for what happened to you. It sounds traumatic."
"I'll be fine," You say with a nod. "I have Bucky."
That makes her smile widen. "He's a good boy. A little bit reckless, but he has a good heart. He's always been good," She tells you. "But he's fierce, too. I dread to think what he's putting that man through downstairs."
You let out a long sigh. "He cares intensely about things close to him," You say. "He doesn't like when I get in trouble. Makes him feel out of control."
"Get in trouble often?" Winnifred asks you with a raised brow.
"Not at all," You reply quickly, before relaxing. "It just comes with the life. You probably know that better than I do."
She nods, before clapping her hands together. "I know what we need - drink!"
Three shots of Bucky's good whiskey later, and you're feeling a lot closer to Winnifred.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
A little surprised, you take a second to process her question. "Uh, no," You answer. "Not right now, Mrs. Barnes."
"Please, call me Winnie," She requests while pouring two more shots. "My sister taught me this - she's still in Romania - the best way to drink whiskey is to make sure you don't have to taste it for too long, she said."
"I hear that," You say with a laugh as you pick up the glass and clink it against hers. "Noroc."
"Noroc!" She cheers back before you both swig the brown liquid down with a wince.
"Fairy?" You suddenly hear Bucky's voice boom through the halls. "Who's fucking car is that outside?"
"Bucky, in the kitchen!" You call out with a grin while Winnifred holds back her laughs.
He storms in a few seconds later, blood on his shirt and a look of confused anger on his face. "The fuck's going on?" He asks you as he walks over to you, taking a few seconds to notice the other person in the room. "Ma?"
She pulls him in for a hug, unfazed by the blood transferring onto her dress. "My boy," She coos as she cuddles him tightly. "You look so handsome!"
Bucky pulls away from her, frowning. "I thought you said you were coming tomorrow?"
With an innocent shrug, Winnifred pats his shoulder. "I got bored and decided to come a little early," She says casually.
"So you show up and break into my good stuff, huh?" He asks playfully while he walks around the island and makes his way over to you. He takes a piece of zucchini and eats it while resting his free hand on your lower back. "You got a new car?" He asks her.
"My car was in the shop so I borrowed a friend's," She explains with a coy smile.
"Which friend?" Bucky asks her suspiciously, confused as to which of her 60-year-old friends drives a Maserati.
"Never you mind - when were you going to tell me you had a girlfriend?" She asks, making your eyes widen.
"What?" Bucky spits, before glancing down at you. "No, Ma, fairy's not my-"
"Ah, you know what I mean," She cuts him off with a wave of his hand. "She's a friend of yours, she's a girl. First time I saw her, she was sneaking out your house like a-"
"Fairy's a good friend of mine, Ma," Bucky cuts in before she can say something to offend you. "She's about to graduate with a law degree. I figured I could do with her expertise."
"A lawyer?" Winnifred repeats, impressed as she looks to you. "What's a woman so smart doing, hanging around this idiot?"
You laugh at her words, leaning closer to Bucky. "He's not that bad," You say, nudging his stomach.
The three of you continue chatting and finishing off the zucchini before Bucky places his hand under your chin. "You must be exhausted, fairy," He mumbles. "Wanna head on up, get some sleep?"
You nod, realizing how late it is. "Yeah, I will," You say, getting up off the stool and walking around to Winnifred. "Good night, Mrs- Winnie. It was really nice to properly meet you."
"And you, my darling," She replies with a smile, giving you a quick hug before you leave the kitchen and head upstairs. Once you're gone, she turns back to Bucky. "Just friends, huh?"
"I promise you, Ma, it's not like that between us," He assures her.
"Yeah, right," She scoffs. "Let me know when the wedding is. I'll buy a new hat."
"Ma," Bucky drags out, walking around the counter to her. "Seriously, it's not like that. And don't go scaring her off by talking about fuckin' weddings-"
"Hey," She cuts in, hitting his shoulder. "Watch your mouth around me."
"I'm sorry, Mama," Bucky says softly, kissing her cheek.
Winnie lets out a sigh. "Does she realize how conflicting it is; being a lawyer and also being your... friend?"
"She knows most things about me," Bucky tells her. "And it hasn't scared her off yet."
"How about when she's trying to pass the bar?" Winnie presses. "How about when someone decides to look into her private life, realizes she's associated with you?"
"I'm associated with plenty of lawmen," Bucky reminds her. "Don't you worry, ma. We've got it all figured out."
"And tonight?" She asks him with a frown. "That poor girl, I've never seen such a pretty face so bruised up. You sure that had nothing to do with you?"
"It was some asshole, has nothing to do with anything," Bucky mutters with clenched fists.
"And?" Winnie presses. "Is he still breathing?"
He lets out a soft scoff. "What do you think, Ma?"
She glances down at his bloody, bruised knuckles. "Can I say something, Jamie?"
"Of course," Bucky replies instantly, wondering why she's being so timid.
"I... You know how your father was, that's no secret," She begins, unable to meet his eyes. "You know what he was like... to me."
"Ma," Bucky mumbles lowly, his nostrils flaring at the memories. "Where are you going with this?"
"I'm not sure how it works. Whether it's something you're born with, or something that's learned," Winnie goes on to say. "I don't know if it's something that can be fixed. I... I've never seen you around a woman you're... romantically involved with."
"Spit it out, Ma," Bucky says flatly.
"Men in your position; men with jobs like yours, who kill, beat, fight," She says a little more firmly. "They don't tend to be soft on their women. I came in tonight, saw her in that state, in your bedroom, and I... I thought it was you. And worse, I wasn't as surprised as I was sad."
"Ma, you know me," Bucky says, hurt that she could ever think that of him. "I'm your son. Do you really think I could-"
"I've known a lot of men, James," She tells him with a pained look in her eye. "Enough to know that even the best of them can disappoint you. I'm sorry; I never should've doubted you. But you have to understand, a woman like me, who's been through what I've been through... I'm always on the defense."
Bucky looks down. As much as he wants to resent her for feeling that way, he can't blame her. A few moments of silence pass by. "I could never even imagine hurting her," He says lowly. "Not her."
"I know," Winnie says truthfully. "It was just that split second..."
"I understand," Bucky says.
She smiles up at him. "You've grown into a wonderful young man, despite everything," She says. "I'm so proud of you."
He pulls her in for a tight hug. "I love you, Ma."
"I love you too, son," She returns, before pulling back. "Anything ever happens to her - I will kill you myself, James Buchanan Barnes. She's too good for you. Way too good for you."
"I know," Bucky replies earnestly. "Which is why we'll only ever be friends. She deserves a Prince Charming; some doctor or teacher that's gonna treat her right and make her happy."
"Hmm," Winnie hums. "And what about you?"
"Me?" Bucky repeats with a chuckle. "I've told you time and time again, Ma. The Barnes bloodline ends with me."
"So, that means you can't get yourself a wife, at least?" She asks him with a raised brow. "I know a lot of girls back in Romania. They're nice, and would be good wives. They cook well, and clean, and would look after you."
"I don't need any of that," Bucky assures her.
"Why?" She challenges before a smirk grows on her lips. "'Cause you already got yourself a fairy?"
"Alright, I think the half-bottle of whiskey's finally got to ya - bed time, Mama," He says sternly, shaking his head but smiling nonetheless.
You're lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Flashes of tonight keep bouncing around in your head. You know Brent's no longer a threat to you, but you can't help but still harbor a fear.
Bucky knocks gently on the door before walking in. "Still awake, fairy?"
"Mhm," You reply absentmindedly.
He lets out a sigh before heading into the bathroom to wash up. Ten minutes later, he emerges in his pyjamas. "Alright if I get in?" He asks almost nervously.
You frown and turn to face him. "Don't be weird," You say, lifting up the covers for him.
Bucky gets in next to you and you immediately cling to him. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead gently. "I ever tell you about my first girlfriend?" He asks, taking you by surprise.
You lift your head up excitedly. "No. Tell me everything!"
He chuckles, gently stroking your hair. "I was eleven years old. Me and Cagey used to go down to the arcade every day after school, and she'd always be there. She asked me out the third time we spoke," He tells you with a nostalgic smile. "I was already being groomed into taking over the business from my dad, and she was a nice break from all of that. There were these older kids that would bully her, though. She had a stutter and they made fun of her."
"That's awful," You say with a frown.
"She could hold her own, but I just got sick of it one day," Bucky tells you. "My dad always told me to be on my best behavior in public. Said I'd live a life of doing bad things, so I should try and stay out of trouble for as long as possible. Keep a clean record; stay off the cops' radar. He was pissed when the police came over to tell him his son had stabbed a pen into someone's tongue."
"Holy shit, Jamie," You say with wide eyes.
"He deserved it, the prick," He defends. "And nobody ever teased Anabella again."
"What happened to her?" You wonder curiously. "Why did you break up?"
"She kissed Cagey a few months later," He reveals bluntly.
"I'm so sorry," You say with a pout.
"Don't be," He says with a smirk. "She only kissed him 'cause I kissed her best friend, first."
"Bucky Barnes!" You exclaim, shocked as you hit his shoulder. "You bastard!"
"Hey, I was a kid!" He says, holding you tighter.
You let out a laugh against his chest. "Idiot," You mumble, before a short silence sits between you. "What's the moral of the story?"
"The moral of the story is that there is no tongue I wouldn't stab to protect you," He says lightly, before his voice lowers. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you tonight."
"I didn't tell you I was going, it's my fault," You counter.
"What happened to you was not your fault," Bucky corrects you curtly. "I'm done keeping our friendship on the low. My friends and acquaintances know about you, but that's not enough. I need the world to know that you're with me. That fucking with you means they're fucking with me."
"I like that idea," You utter, tugging on his shirt.
"You're my best friend, fairy," He mumbles. "It's time the world knows it."
"You gonna get a tattoo of my name on your face?" You ask with hope, tracing your fingers under his eye. "Just here, top of your cheek?"
He smirks, raising a brow. "I think Ma would slit my throat," He tells you with a chuckle. "How about we start with the party next Thursday? You'll come as my date, and I can show you off."
"Only if you buy me a new dress," You say. "I'm a student; the best I can do is the sale rack at T. J. Maxx."
"Take my card and go shopping," He offers, rubbing your back.
"Think these bruises will be gone by next Thursday?" You wonder.
"Easily," Bucky mumbles, gently stroking his thumb over your cheek. You can see the pain in his eyes; he feels as though he's failed you.
"I ever tell you about my first boyfriend?" You counter slyly.
"No, but I have a feeling I'll hate this story," He grumbles.
"His name was Pietro," You begin. "High school sweethearts. I had a crush on him since third grade, but he didn't ask me out until seventh. Anyway, he was friends with these absolute jerks."
"They were jerks to you?" Bucky asks with a frown.
"Nothing too crazy; they'd just tease me about my mom. Everyone at school knew she had drug issues because she turned up to a parent-teacher conference high one time, and all the other moms gossiped about her," You explain. "The jerks never said anything to me in front of Pietro, but he knew about it."
"And he never said anything to them?" He scoffs. "What a fuckin' loser."
"Well, one day, they slipped up in front of him," You begin. "And I looked at him, waiting to see what he'd say. Expecting him to beat their asses, you know? Wanting him to, anyway."
"Let me guess: he didn't do jack shit?" Bucky says flatly.
"He did," You correct him. "Pietro told them to back off. That's it. And... I was disappointed, but back then, I thought he was the love of my life. I just figured that's what real-life boyfriends were like. Disappointing. But then, I met you, and I realized I could get so much more... and all you are is my best friend."
Bucky hums. A silence sits between you for a few moments before he says, "This the same guy who broke up with you a few months before we met?"
"That's the one," You confirm with a nod.
"So, he's the reason you didn't wanna be anything more than just friends with me," Bucky realizes out loud. "Wow. I fucking hate this guy."
"Jamie!" You scold him lightly, hitting his arm. "I think it's a good thing we decided on being just friends."
"Yeah? How's that?" He asks, resting his hand on your waist.
"Because, if I slept with you that night, you wouldn't have called me back," You insist. "You would've gotten what you wanted out of me and moved onto the next conquest. I'd be nothing more than a notch on your bedpost."
"Not true," Bucky claims with a frown.
"Is too!" You argue. "I think we should be grateful to Pietro for breaking my heart. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have become such good friends."
"Maybe," Bucky concurs, but all he can think about is how he could've had you as his girl from day one if it wasn't for that bastard. There's no way you'd be a one night stand; Bucky knew you were special the first moment he laid eyes on you. Sure, he most likely would have fucked you that night, but it wouldn't have stopped there. He would've taken you on dates, flown you to Paris to ask you to be his girlfriend, buy you expensive jewellery for your anniversaries. He would have kissed you every chance he got. He wouldn't have to introduce you as his friend to his Ma and she would've given him her blessing, as well as her wedding ring for him to propose to you with.
But if he tells you that, you might think his feelings pass the boundaries of friendship. And if you think that, you might not feel so comfortable around him.
So, he keeps his mouth shut.
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skaye44 · 14 days
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Fire station Meetup
Bucky A/U - Firefighter Bucky
Summary: You move to a new area and come across a fire station on your routine walks with your dog. You meet a gorgeous Lieutenant who crushes on you just as you crush on them.
Content warning: NONE - Feel good fluff, enjoy
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You had just moved into a little house you were so happy you found. It took you a few weeks, but you finally finished unpacking and setting up things exactly how you like.
Your neighbourhood was a quiet one, everyone had tidy and neat yards and there were plenty of parks and walking paths, which was a huge reason you chose the area.
You had a large dog named Ranger, who needed space and walks. He was a German Shepherd who you rescued when he was a puppy. Because of his breed and the potential for him to be quite large, that didn't deter you from scooping up the fluffball and giving him a life full of love.
As Ranger grew and grew, he turned out to be on the larger and taller side of what typical German Shepherds are. He was about 100lbs, and he came up to your waist. He looks menacing with his sharp pointy ears, snout, and strong legs, but as menacing as he looks, he is a giant chicken. You took him to many obedience classes as you could so you could control him whenever the situation needed. He listens extremely well, and you always reward him for that. The two of you are inseparable and you couldn't have been more pleased with his personality. When you walk him, he stays close to your side and looks scary, so you are happy to have that extra protection since not many people approach you.
Upon living in your neighbourhood for a few weeks, you took it upon yourself to explore a little more and see what paths and routes you could walk with Ranger. You discovered a small dog park a few blocks from your house, and you were more than happy to take him there to burn off some of his extra energy. There were trees and woods all around with small inclines and hills making it the perfect area for you to explore with your furry companion.
You noticed there was a firehall that was adjacent to the dog park and every time you walked by the firemen would be out front, relaxing in the weather, talking to each other, or washing down their rigs. You would smile and nod at them, and Ranger would look over to investigate, but you always carried on.
After a few weeks of walking by, you noticed the group of firemen would wave to you, some would even ask how your day was. You always said it was good and carried on.
One day, you noticed they were playing ball hockey out front of the station. Ranger loves his tennis balls and was watching eagerly as you walked by on your way to the park. When the ball they were playing with was hit in your direction, Ranger snatched it in his mouth wagging his tail proudly. You had to stop and get the ball away from him.
"Sorry about that" said a blonde, tall, freakishly fit, and broad-shouldered fireman currently running up to you. 
His shirt said Captain Rogers on the sleeve. 
"It's ok, let me get that for you as I don't think he'll let you near his mouth" you chuckled.
You bent down to grab the ball from Ranger. 
Just then, another fireman came up and joined you.
His shirt said Lieutenant Barnes on it. He had slightly long dark chestnut hair, broad shoulders, and the clearest bluest eyes you have ever seen. You were blushing like mad at the two men in front of you and praying that Ranger would listen to you.
"Ranger, drop the ball" you firmly said. 
Ranger just sat there wagging his tail with the ball still snugly in his mouth. 
"Ranger" you said more sternly. 
Ranger looked at you and then up at the two men, then decided to drop the ball as the Lieutenant bent down to give him some pets which were more of a treat than the ball that was currently in his mouth. 
"Let me clean off the drool". You wiped off the ball and handed it back to the captain. 
"It's ok" said the captain who smiled at you.
You smiled back at him then watched him walk back to the rest of the group of men.
The Lieutenant stood up from scratching Ranger on the head. 
"Ma'am" he nodded flashing you a bright smile then he turned around and headed back to the building. 
Normally you cringed when anyone called you ma'am as you felt you were too young for that assumption but in this case, when the Lieutenant called you ma'am, you felt fluttery in your stomach.
You smiled at your feet and carried on to the park, not before sneaking a quick look back over your shoulder only for you to make direct eye contact with the Lieutenant who smiled back at you.
The next few afternoons, you walked by and the two men you had previously met, waved to you and you gave a light wave with Ranger giving a quick woof as well making the men chuckle. You proceeded to the park as you usually did, playing with Ranger and tiring him out. You headed back and noticed the dark-haired Lieutenant was at the end of their driveway holding a broom and leaning on it as you walked up to him.
"Hi". He bent down to scratch Ranger behind his ears. 
"Hello" you smiled. 
"Good walk?" he asked looking at you but still scratching Ranger who was happily leaning against his legs enjoying the attention. 
"Yeah". Ranger got up and was standing in front of you. 
"I'm Bucky" the handsome firefighter held out his hand to you which you took in yours. 
"Y/n" you smiled and let go of his large yet soft hand. 
"This is Ranger". You smiled down at your dog. 
"Hello Ranger, it's nice to formally meet you" Bucky said as Ranger let out a woof. 
He chuckled. "Smart dog".
"The best". You patted Rangers' head. He was loving the attention.
"Well, we should go. C'mon Ranger".
"See you later". Bucky waved to you. 
You gave a small wave as you headed back to your house.
The following day, you and Ranger were a little later than your usual walk time so you were hoping you would see Bucky on your route. You noticed the firetruck was gone so they must be out on a call.
You played with Ranger at the park a little longer than normal before you headed back home. You walked past the station and noticed the group of firemen were back and were unloading their truck. They looked a little defeated and tired, but you saw the captain wave to you, and you smiled back.
Bucky appeared from the other side of the truck and walked over to you and Ranger. 
"Hey buddy". Bucky smiled at you while he was petting Ranger. 
Some of the other firefighters walked over to you and they were doting all over Ranger, clearly needing a distraction from their last call. You noticed another handsome fireman with S. Wilson on his shirt shove his way through the crowd and introduce himself to you, causing Bucky to lightly scowl at him. 
"Hi Sam, nice to meet you".
"Pleasure" he smirked at you and nudged Bucky with his shoulder. 
You watched the men pet Ranger and give him attention when the captain called them inside. 
"Better get back. It was nice seeing you and Ranger". Bucky smiled and walked away.
"See you". You walked Ranger back home.
Over the course of the month, the firemen would stop you and chat lightly, even bringing some treats for Ranger who was loving all the attention on him. Bucky would hang back and talk to you a little longer than the others, but you never minded. If anyone was going to stop and talk to you, it may as well be a handsome firefighter you thought to yourself. Bucky could stand there and read the entire dictionary to you line by line and you would not have minded one bit.
Ranger must have picked up on your feelings towards Bucky as the next day, Bucky spotted you and immediately walked towards you. 
"Afternoon y/n". Bucky smiled, making his eyes light up. 
"Hi Bucky". You lightly blushed. 
Ranger was standing to your right when he decided to walk around Bucky, tying his legs up with his leash and making him move close to you. 
"Ranger!" You were maneuvering his leash in-between your hands, unwrapping it from Bucky's strong legs. 
"So sorry" as Bucky was standing right in front of you, close enough to feel his warm chest and take in his earthy scent. He wrapped his hands around your waist to steady you.
"Get a room!" you heard Sam yell from the garage making the both of you jump back and you gather Ranger's leash closer to you.
You laughed and started walking towards the park. 
"Well, see you".
"Wait!" you heard Bucky yell from behind you. 
"Yes?"
'Well, I was wondering...I get off from my shift at 6:00. Would you like to grab something to eat with me?" he asked. 
The way he was standing and the look on his face really brought out his boyish looks. 
"Sure, I'd like that".
You smiled. 
"Ok, it's a date" Bucky smiled and handed you his phone so you could put your number in it. 
"Sounds good". You added your contact info to it. 
"See you in a bit". You started walking. 
"See you". Bucky jogged back to the station. 
He watched you walk away from the station and couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
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jobean12-blog · 6 months
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Feelin' Gourd
Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader
Word Count: 1,454
Summary: You really want to go on a trip to the farm but not with the girls this year. This year you want your husband to take you and even though he's the boss and busy a lot he always makes time for you, even if it means stepping out of his usual role and being soft and sweet...because for you, he'll do anything.
Author's Note: So I've decided that mob!Bucky is one of my kinks, especially when he's a big softie for his woman. And honestly, he's perfect! So here's my first kinktober '23 story featuring mob!Bucky and his softie side. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always❤️❤️❤️ and Happy October! Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: It's fun and fluffy and sweet and soft!
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Steve escorts the men out of Bucky’s office and down the hall. He smiles warmly at you before his face hardens into it’s usual work mask again as he practically pushes the men out the door.
With a soft goodnight to you he shuts and locks the door of your house.
Without waiting another second you skip to Bucky’s office, stopping in the doorway when you see him focused on his phone.
“There you are doll face,” he croons.
He looks up as he sets his phone down on his desk.
“Work done?” you ask sweetly.
“All done,” he says as he holds out his arms for you.
You rush into the room and around his desk, falling against his chest and nuzzling his neck as he drags you onto his lap.
“Mm,” he hums appreciatively as you wrap yourself around him.
He kisses your temple, taking your face in his hands before pulling your mouth to his. The kiss starts out sweet and soft but swiftly grows deeper as his fingers search for the bottom of your shirt, sneaking beneath to feel more of your skin.
“Bucky,” you breathe out, pulling away enough to look into his eyes.
“What?” he asks, slightly breathless himself. “Missed you today.”
He gives you his best boyish smirk, the one reserved only for you, and it makes your heart flutter.
“Missed you too,” you whisper, peppering his check with butterfly kisses, “but…”
His lips find yours again and your words are lost against his mouth, his hands dancing higher until he’s toying with the clasp of your bra.
He unhooks it with ease and starts to peel it off under your shirt.
“Buckyyyy,” you pout.
“Doll,” he groans as his hands roam over your newly exposed skin.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
He stops his caresses, giving you a disgruntled look.
Your expression falls and he immediately brushes his thumb across your lips, cradling your cheek and drawing you closer.
“No, none of that now baby doll. I’m sorry. Talk to me.”
You instantly brighten and he growls out a mumbled curse, knowing you totally got one over on him. With a bright and triumphant smile you toy with his tie, mindlessly adjusting it as you begin to talk.
“I want you to take me pumpkin picking.”
His eyes widen and he blinks several times. “Pumpkins? Like on a farm?”
You nod excitedly, bouncing in his lap. “YES! We can pick our own to carve and get some for the front of the house and even get apple cider donuts and hot apple cider and take home a pie or pick apples to make a pie and maybe even go for a hay ride!”
Your enthusiastic wave of words rushes out and he can hardly keep up and all the while you’re still fiddling with his tie and the collar of his shirt, smoothing out each until they’re perfect.
“Didn’t you go do this with the girls last year?” he asks softly but with a smile.
“I did,” you start, pouting a bit. “But I want to go with you!”
He opens his mouth to speak but you press a finger to his lips.
“PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!”
When you’re done with your pleading he grabs your wrist and holds you finger to his mouth, kissing the tip softly before pushing your other fingers up so he can kiss them all too.
“Of course I’ll take you,” he whispers.
You squeal in delight and kiss him, trying to pull away to tell him more about what you can do at the farm but he keeps you pressed firmly against him as he spins his desk chair and lifts you out of his lap, placing you on the edge of his desk.
When he finally releases your lips you nibble your bottom one, watching as he kneels down, spreading your legs and tugging on your panties.
“Thank you Bucky,” you whisper.
“I didn’t even do anything yet doll,” he teases.
“I meant for agreeing to go pumpkin picking with me.”
“You know I’d do anything to make you happy,” he murmurs, kissing along your calf, his fingers massaging your soft skin as he moves higher.
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Bucky struts out of your walk-in closet, adjusting the collar on his shirt before smiling at you.
“Ready doll face?” he asks.
You look him over from head to toe then sashay your way into his arms. “I am…but I think you might need to change.”
He frowns. “Why? I thought my red shirt was good…fall color and all.”
“Oh the red is perfect,” you assure him. “But I’m not sure you need to wear one of your three-hundred-dollar Prada shirts to the farm.”
“Huh,” he muses. “Am I going to get dirty?”
“The pumpkins are sometimes muddy or dirty with soil and there’s lots of dust and vines…if there are horses and other animals there might be…”
“So I should lose my Prada loafers too then?”
He grins, looking slightly sheepish.
“Definitely,” you giggle, giving him a soft kiss. “But the jeans are perfect.”
You step back to let your eyes roam over his thick thighs that are on full display in the tight denim.
He starts to unbutton his dress shirt but you stop him, slowly undoing each button yourself until it hangs open and reveals his tanned and toned chest and stomach. You ghost your fingernails down his skin, watching his muscles flex from your touch.
When you push the shirt from his shoulders you sigh, “why can’t you just go like this?”
He huffs out a laugh and adjusts his belt, drawing your attention to the trail of dark hair that lines his lower stomach and the disappears into his jeans.
“Still wanna go pumpkin picking doll?” he asks wearing an amused and smug smirk.
You slowly drag your eyes up to his and cock your hip out, placing your hand there and stealing your features.
“YES! Now find a tee shirt and hoodie and change your shoes.”
“Where are my hoodies. I thought you stole them all,” he says as he’s walking back into the closet.
“I left you one…maybe two!”
“What about a flannel?” he calls out.
“Perfet,” you reply.
Once he’s dressed in his soft tee and even softer flannel, his feet clad in leather lace up boots you head for the door.
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It’s still early when you get to the farm so there aren’t many people around yet. You and Bucky walk hand in hand under the warm sunshine toward the pumpkin patch.
“What are we looking for exactly?” he asks, eyeing the rows of orange squash.
“I want some really big ones for the front of the house! And then we need two for carving and some smaller ones for more decoration. And I want gourds too…they have a lot of different colors and shapes!”
“Am I supposed to carry them all?”
He looks suspicious and when you start to smile he takes you in his arms brushes his lips against yours.
“I will if that’s what you need me to do.”
You melt into him, sliding your arms around his waist. “As much as I’d love to see you trying to carry all these pumpkins, we can just get a wagon.”
You peek around him and point to the red wagons lined up along the fence.
“Phew,” he says with a laugh.
You walk through the patch, Bucky dragging the wagon behind him as you gush over every pumpkin you see, picking them up, inspecting them and asking for his insight. He takes his job seriously, examining each one with thorough precision before giving you his honest review.
“This one is perfect for carving,” he says, holding up the tall but still wide pumpkin with a good flat face.
“It is!” you cheer. “What are you going to carve?”
He stands there, looking from you to the pumpkin. “I have no idea!”
You bend over with laughter, loving to see your husband in such a relaxed state but also taking the pumpkin picking so seriously. He never does anything half-assed.
After he sets the pumpkin in the cart he looks over what you’ve picked so far. “One more?”
You throw your arms around his neck. “I love you so much. I’m having the best time.”
He wraps you in his embrace, nestling his face into your neck. “Love you more doll and me too.”
“Before we pick more can we get some cider and donuts? I’m hungry.”
“Of course,” he says, tucking you under his arm. “I hope they sell these donuts by the dozen. I have a feeling I’m going to want more than one.”
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@randomfandompenguin @book-dragon-13 @goldylions @blackwidownat2814 @buckysdollforlife @hiddles-rose @kmc1989 @lizette50
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In the Blink of an Eye | Bucky Barnes (Mafia AU)
mafia!bucky barnes x f!reader ✧ oneshot
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Summary: With Bucky Barnes, the mafia lord of New York, as your boyfriend, you're usually safe from any and all harm. With a date night gone wrong and your boyfriend distracted, though, anything can happen in the blink of an eye.
A/N: Another one of my favorites because come on, who doesn't love mob Bucky? If you couldn't tell by now, angst is my thing lol, but I'm working on some fluffier oneshots! True to my word, this one's a reader insert for all you lovelies, enjoy and as always keep dreaming 🤍
Warnings: mafia!Bucky, violence, angst, kidnapping, drugging, language, mentions of torture, fluffy ending because I just can't help myself.
Word Count: 5,896
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I knew the dangers when I started. I knew the risks. I welcomed them, I embraced them. They did not scare me and they haven't even now, so many months later.
We always seem to think we know ourselves so well, that we know what we'd do in every situation. I thought I knew.
Then I fell in love.
When you're in love, well, everything changes. For the first time, there's another person that you cannot live without. For the first time, you begin to realize just how far you'd go to keep that love, to strengthen it. I used to avoid love, used to think it was worthless.
Then I met Bucky Barnes, Wolf of the North and mafia lord of New York, and I fell harder than I ever have before.
I love him more than anything else in my life, and so I took on the risks willingly. When you love someone that deeply, that ardently, nothing is a risk. Besides, I knew that he would do everything in his power to protect me. Bucky would never let anything bad happen to me.
That's where I went wrong. Not in overestimating him, but underrating what can happen in the blink of an eye.
"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"
He acts as though he's heard me, but his eyes are glued to the phone in his hand as we weave through the crowds in the New York night. He never usually ignores me like this, and even though I'm growing annoyed, I'm hurt by his lack of attention too.
"We'll be fine, even if he is he wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything" Bucky brushes off, not even looking up from his phone. I let out a small huff as we approach the front of the bar and nightclub he owns.
Before we make it to the doors, I grab his well-muscled arm and gently tug him to face me. He looks up now, his usually softened ice blue eyes plagued with business and stress.
"I thought tonight was just for us, my love" I remind. Something softens in his gaze but he ices it down and doesn't as much as touch me.
"It is, but I have some business to attend to first" his gravelly voice replies.
"Business?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow and smiling softly at him, "You can get business any night, but I-"
"Just give me ten minutes, Y/N." my boyfriend interrupts, and if it were any other day I'd say something back. Too exhausted from work to want an argument, though, I simply sigh and decide to show him patience.
"Alright, you have 10 minutes."
We walk inside, but before we do I cast one more glance back towards the man who I saw following us. My heart hits the floor when my eyes connect directly with his across the street. His mousy brown hair and disheveled brown leather jacket and white shirt set me on edge, so I quickly turn around and follow Bucky into his club.
As soon as I'm back by his side, he presses a gentle but burning hand to my back, his touch, however small, still intoxicating me after all this time. Normally, he'd lean over and whisper sweet nothings or promises of love in my ear and I'd shiver at the whisper of his voice so near, but now he barely even touches me. His mind is so preoccupied with work, I know that, but it has been all week since this weekend is his rival's gala.
But I feel ignored and unappreciated and it's killing me.
The pounding music of the club wraps around me, making it harder to keep my thoughts straight. Bucky and I walk straight to the back of the club, where his business no doubt waits. He pulls away from me without so much as a goodbye, and my heart tugs. Quickly I grab his hand, making him glance at me.
"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out," I repeat, and I know he said I'll be fine but I need him to be here with me, "Please, stay with me."
"Doll, you're gonna be fine. Now-"
I cut him off, getting frustrated.
"No Bucky! I can fight, sure, but if he-" I interrupt, only for him to cut me right back off.
"Drop it, Y/N. Just go to the bar or something" Bucky growls, pulling out of my grip and walking into the office without a single glance back at me.
My heart cracks.
He's never like this, ever. He's usually so protective it's overbearing, and yet the one time I need that to feel secure, he refuses. I can take care of myself, but I'm not stupid. And no matter how capable and independent I may be, Bucky brings a level of safety to me that I can't describe.
And yet here he is, leaving me alone in his bar with someone following us.
I huff out a sigh and try not to look too forlorn as I traipse over to the bar. Almost as soon as I've arrived and sat at an open bar stool, the bartender who has become somewhat of a friend over the last few months approaches me.
"And how is my favorite customer?" He asks, his hands busy preparing a drink. I shrug, offering him a soft smile.
"I'm alright, Lee," I respond, playing with the edge of my sleeve, "Just a whiskey please."
"Sure thing, Y/N," Lee says, his brows furrowed as he steps away to make my drink. When the glass slides in front of me, I grab onto it with tired fingers.
"So, do you want me to ask what's really going on or do you want me to believe the lie?" The bartender asks, making me raise my gaze from the amber liquid and to my friend's face. He must see the tears gathering in my eyes because a hint of concern grows. I never break like this.
"Believe the lie, please" I nearly whisper, desperate to not have this conversation right now. Lee stares at me for a second longer before nodding.
"Let me know if you need anything else."
When he walks away to take care of another customer, I'm left feeling alone and forgotten in my boyfriend's bar. I sip on the alcohol and seconds turn to minutes, and ten minutes soon becomes twenty. I feel patience slipping and am seconds away from barging into that room and giving my boyfriend a piece of my mind when another voice pipes up beside me.
"I thought tonight was date night," The voice says, and I can't put a face to it. When I turn, the haze of alcohol clears instantly and my spine snaps straight. The music dulls into a hum. The lights grow darker. The color leeches from my body. My hand trembles around the almost empty glass.
It's him. He's got the same messy hair, the same brown jacket. The same hungry eyes.
Instantly, I clamp down hard on my rising panic. I refuse to fall into hysterics of any kind right now. This is the safest place for me to be right now, so I should have nothing to worry about. Instead, I simply shake my head and turn forward, downing the last of my second whiskey.
"You're another kind of stupid if you think anything is going to happen to me in here," I inform, my tone even and calm despite the throbbing, tearing panic within me that makes me want to sprint for Bucky.
"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to do anything," the man responds, his tone just as even as mine.
I furrow my brows at the ease of his response, but all at once it hits me. My head begins to spin and with each second that passes, my mind begins to fog. No. No. No.
He drugged me.
How did he get it into my drink?
How did I not see it? Smell it? Taste it?
I shove out of my chair so fast that the stool screeches against the hard floor. The sound is absorbed into the mass of the club, though, and an arm snakes around my waist.
"No," I manage out, but the connection between my body and brain seems to be almost severed. The words come out sluggish and far away and when I try to pull from the stalker's hold, my body barely moves.
Instead, I'm left stumbling like I'm drunk with this man guiding me towards the exit as if he's helping me to a cab. The bouncers. Ed and Damien, they won't let him take me. They'll stop him, they'll get him away from me.
"Don't make a scene, Y/N. Your boyfriend isn't even out of his office." My kidnapper's voice slithers into my ear, making my stomach church with nausea.
My boyfriend. Bucky. Oh God, where is Bucky? Why can't I seem to remember where Bucky went? Why he's not here? Why I was alone?
"Bucky, Bucky's gonna-" I slur out, sounding absolutely wasted to the unknowing ear.
"I know, Mr. Barnes going to be so glad I got you home safely," he says suddenly, his entire body shifting tone. I furrow my brows and manage to look and see us just passing Ed and Damien at the door. Even though I can really see straight, I see the two bouncers block the exit when they see me.
"Hey man, what's going on?" I hear Ed ask.
"Nothing much to see, Boss just wanted me to take his lady home," the stalker says, his grip on me tighter than it must appear, "She had a little too much to drink."
Too much to drink? Did I? Why can't I remember what's happening? I didn't think I did but...but maybe I did. Who is this man? He said he's taking me home, maybe Bucky had to cancel date night. It was date night, right?
Both Ed and Damien furrow their brows and look to me, immediate concern drawing on their features when they see the state of me. Some lucid part of me screams to alert them of something, anything, but the thought doesn't come to fruition. It dies somewhere along a neuron and leaves me tripping over my own feet and speechless.
"I've never seen you before, man. How do we know that boss told you to take her home?" Damien asks. My escort doesn't miss a step.
"The Wolf is in states nowadays, isn't he boys?" The stalker replies, and that lucid part sparks up again in protest at the familiar words. That's the code phrase to ensure safety in moments like this.
He knows the code phrase.
They're going to let him take me.
I do what I can to struggle as Ed and Damien step aside, but it only comes across as trying to walk on my own, because the bouncers chuckle slightly.
"Relax Y/N, don't overdo it" Ed quips.
"Rest up, miss. I'll let boss know you got home safely." Damien follows up.
And the lucid part of me fades into the drug haze as my kidnapper guides me out of the safest place on earth without so much of a gun fight. The cool night air slaps me in the face and I whisper, trying to struggle again only to forget why I'm struggling in the first place. My body feels like I'm running through neck-high mud, anyways. Any sharp movements I try to make end in my hands barely moving.
"Bucky," I breathe, an urgency in that word. Beyond the haze and the forgetfulness and the confusion, there's a deep and piercing need to scream out that name. I can't figure out why, but I need him. I can't...I need...
My head's spinning, or maybe it's the world. My stomach is twisting and turning and twisting and turning and tw-
"He can't save you now. He didn't even put up a fight to protect you," that ugly, slimy voice says as a car door opens, "What a shame. A treasure like you should be guarded. But I guess finder's keeper's."
Then I'm shoved into a car and everything goes black.
||| James Buchanan Barnes
Y/N's going to actually kill me. As in my liver on a plate kill me.
The meeting that I promised would only be ten minutes has now gone for forty, and by now she's probably restless, hungry, and a little tipsy.
Great, and I pissed her off earlier so tonight is going to be so much fun.
I pull a hand through my dark hair with a slight groan as the man I was doing business with finally leaves my office. I sit for a second in the semi-quiet of my room, the pounding of music and laughter dulled by the walls. I know I shouldn't have gotten short with her earlier, but damn she wouldn't let up on me with the whole "stalker" thing.
My club is the safest place for her. I would never let anything happen to her, so for her to even think that...I sigh again, shoving it from my mind. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is finding my girlfriend and making all of this shit up to her. I rise from my leather chair and walk out of my office, the dulled sounds roaring into full force.
My eyes immediately shoot towards the bar to find my girl only to see an absence of her. With furrowed brows, I sweep my gaze towards the dance floor. Even crowded with people, I don't see her. I roll my eyes instantly, knowing what probably happened. She probably went home, probably's pissed as hell at me. I brush off my suit jacket and walk up to Lee at the bar, immediately garnering his attention. He smiles at me.
"Hey boss, can I get you anything?" He asks.
"No I'm good, thanks Lee," I respond, leaning on the bar with one arm and pinching the bridge of my nose, "Have you seen Y/N? I think I pissed her off."
There's a pause that makes me look over at my bartender. He's looking at me weirdly as he slides a drink to a customer and laughs slightly.
"Real funny, boss," Lee says, cleaning out a few glasses. I straighten up slightly, my brows furrowing deeper and my jaw setting.
"What's so funny, Lee? Have you seen her or not?" I ask, quickly losing my patience. I always thought he had a thing for her, always was too-
"Are you fucking with me right now?" Lee asks genuinely, cutting off my thoughts. When I don't respond, he realizes I'm not joking and his face goes grave, "So you didn't send her home twenty minutes ago?"
The world tilts around me and every ounce of anger, annoyance, and frustration leaves me in an instant. My heart drops like an anchor at sea and I don't dare to believe what Lee's words mean.
"She left twenty minutes ago," I begin slowly, trying desperately to hold myself together and not jump to a conclusion, "With someone who said I sent them to take her home."
Lee's face is slowly falling as he realizes the situation at hand. I feel so sick to my stomach that I can barely stand when Lee gives a faint nod. My world stops and then starts and then stops again.
"I never gave that order." I breathe.
"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"
I brushed her off.
"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out. Please, stay with me."
I ignored her. I snapped at her. I prioritized work over the light of my life. I told her she'd be fine.
I left her.
Lee is saying something to me but I don't hear it as I shove away and storm over to Ed and Damien, my bouncers. My face is a painting of fury and shame and worry and panic and it's a storm that catches Ed and Damien's attention. They stop what they're doing and look to me, their brows furrowing.
"Boss, what's-"
"You let her leave?" I strangle out, my heart slamming in my chest and my fists balled by my sides, "You let a stranger take her away?"
The two share a confused glance before looking back to me.
"A stranger? Boss, the man who took Y/N home knew the code," Ed informs.
"Did you not send him?" Damien suddenly asks, his face tightening in instant panic.
He knew the code. He knew the code and he somehow got my doll, my fighter, out without so much of a warning.
And it's all my fault.
"Shut the club down, get everyone out. Call together all of our forces. Tell them-" My voice breaks, raw emotion clawing up my throat, "Tell them Y/N's been taken."
I don't wait for a response and shove out into the cold night, gasping for air like a fish out of water. I was so obsessed with the gala this week that Hydra, our arch nemesis, was putting on, that I stopped paying attention to the only part of my life that matters. I have a lot of things, all of which I could live without, but I cannot live without her.
And I left her.
I left her and now she's gone.
She tried to warn me, she tried to tell me someone was following us. She tried to get me to stay with her, to not leave her. And yet I walked away. I just walked away like she didn't even matter and I left vulnerable and alone the only person in this entire fucking universe I love. It's all my fault, and I'll spend every second of the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.
If I can even find her in time, before she-
No. I will find her and she will live. I will burn down this whole damn world if I have to, and I will not stop. Not until every person who laid a finger on my girl is dead. I will paint the world crimson with their blood until I find her, and once I do I will never, never, ignore or leave her again.
That's not a threat. It's a promise.
||| Your POV
The collar secured to my throat is too tight, the metal no doubt leaving red grooves in my skin.
It hurts worse when Alexander Pierce, the mafia lord of Hydra, tugs the matching chain leash attached to it, pulling me closer to him and almost making me stumble mid-step.
The gala is glamorous, and my gown is nothing short of it as well. Pierce even went through the trouble of having someone do my hair. What he didn't do was my makeup.
That way anyone could see the dried blood and bruises littering my skin.
It's a scare tactic, I know that. A way to signal to everyone here that he's in charge and that he can't be defied. But I think he's got a bigger reason in mind for it all, the collar and the hideous marks on my skin.
And that reason is my boyfriend.
I can practically feel people's eyes follow me as I walk as steadily as I can at the end of Pierce's leash. Despite the radiating, excruciating pain that each step incurs, I keep my body steady and my chin high. I let the policemen and officials that are on his payroll and all of the members of his mafia see my bruises and cuts. He's parading me, so I'm going to put on a damn show.
A show to hide how mind-numbingly terrified I am right now.
Behind my set jaw and my cold eyes, I'm fighting back tears. The pain is mixing with the fear of the last few days to make a perfect storm within me. I'm terrified that any moment could be my last, that more pain could await me, that Bucky might never come for me
Or worse. That he doesn't even care.
Regardless of whether or not he cares, I'm still not going to give a single detail out. Even when Pierce himself tortured me until all I knew was blood and pain and fear, I said nothing. He didn't get a single word out of me. I just sat there, strapped to an iron chair, and took it. Every blow, every slice, every shout. At times my mind spared me and allowed me to slip into the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness, but it wouldn't be long after that I awoke to my head shoved into cold water to revive me.
And here I am, now taking a seat at the Dias of his gala room beside the mafia lord of Hydra, my boyfriend's sworn rival, with a collar around my neck tied to his wrist.
The music that wafts from the live orchestra is disturbingly jovial and light, filling the air with a sense of peace that provides such a stark juxtaposition to my insides that I almost puke. I sit ever so stiffly in my chair beside Pierce, my back burning with each movement because of the new stripes across its tender flesh.
As I feel warm liquid slide down my skin, I suddenly understand why Pierce insisted my dress be a dark maroon. I thought it was as at first just a beacon to everyone to show who I was with because it was his signature color, but I know better now. It's to hide the blood that seeps from my still-healing and probably infected wounds.
"Exquisite, isn't it?" Pierce asks, and I don't even have to turn towards him to know he wears a devilish smirk. A cruel man's trademark of victory.
I stay silent.
I hear him click his tongue as he sits back in his ornate chair, "All this quality time together and all I've heard from your voice has been your screams. No matter how pretty they are, doesn't seem polite to me."
This time, I can't hold myself back.
"Neither is kidnapping another human being and treating them like a prisoner of war," I announce, my voice raw and hoarse from the screaming and shouting of the past few days, "So pardon me if I'm not feeling too polite."
It's a bold move, but I make it anyways, gambling that he wouldn't lash out in the midst of his party. A little breath of relief escapes me when he chuckles.
"And here I was under the impression you were a sweet, soft-spoken sort of woman. My sources misjudged you." Pierce responds.
Of course he's been watching me. A scheme like this doesn't happen overnight. He's been planning this for a while, now. Pierce knew exactly when Bucky would be most vulnerable, when the defenses would be the loosest. It makes me want to scream.
"You're going to die for this," I whisper, quietly but not softly. There's his laugh again.
"Oh honey," Pierce starts, his voice condescending as if I were a toddler, "Careful with blind faith. What makes you so sure Barnes will make it out of this alive?"
His words unsettle something so deep within me that if I spend more than a few seconds touching on it, I'll shatter. Instead, I turn to look at Alexander Pierce for the first time since we've sat down. My eyes are cold and harsh upon him and the shining metal of the collar that tethers us.
"What makes you so sure it will be Bucky who kills you?"
He has the good sense to look the slightest bit unnerved, and I give him a smirk of my own, "Like you said before, your men sorely misjudged me."
Before he can respond, one of the guards that stands behind us steps forward and whispers something in the mafia lord's ear. Whatever he says makes Pierce grin fiercely as he looks back to me and gives the collar a tug.
"Your White Wolf is here."
My heart jumps so hard that I forget how to function. For a moment, everything else fades and dims away, even the biting pain wrapping me like a blanket of thorns. I snap my head back forward and when I see him I swear I almost break right then and there.
Because his eyes are already on me, and they're coated with fury.
It takes every ounce of strength I have to not dissolve into tears, to not let my fear show.
He's here.
He's here.
Bucky found me.
When our eyes meet, something so primal and raw ignites in his features. He looks seconds away from shattering as his chest heaves, his eyes scouring every inch of me. I feel undone before him, as if the dress doesn't hide a single thing that Pierce and his men have done to me.
"James Barnes," Pierce announces, snapping the connection between us swiftly, "I thought you'd never come. I hope you don't mind, I think I've stolen your date for the evening."
Then he wraps his palm around the chain leash and yanks it so hard that I nearly tumble out of the chair. His hand is there to stop me as it grabs my jaw in a bruising grip. Pierce hums, turning my face side to side before forcing it forward to the crowd that now watches. Bucky is painted with dark rage and looks seconds away from ending Pierce's life.
"She makes quite the pretty pet."
Bucky begins to storm forward only for two of the guests who belong to Pierce's mafia to grip onto his arms and prevent him.
"Take your fucking hand off of her, Pierce, or I swear I'll-" Bucky growls, and hearing his voice is enough to ease some of the knot that's wound in my chest these last few days.
"You'll what?" Alexander asks, releasing my chin but remaining ever so calmly in his seat beside me, "You must not care that much for my pet, after all you were the one to ignore her."
There's a bone-crushing silence and I see that same something shatter in my love's gaze.
"You shoved her off, you left her alone," Alexander cuts out, reaching out and running a hand through my hair, "You so carelessly let her slip through your fingers and here you are pretending to care."
"What I did was unforgivable, I know that," Bucky says suddenly, and I see even from here the silver lining his eyes as he speaks, "But she is a good person. She doesn't deserve this. If you need to punish someone, don't let it be her."
"You don't deserve her," Pierce says, and I want to scream that he's wrong but Bucky cuts me off. His eyes clash with mine and I fall in love all over again.
"I know," he says so softly that I almost miss it. I try to shake my head 'no', but Pierce tightens the collar, making me whimper.
Bucky shoves off the two men holding him, composing himself and standing stiffly a good ways before us.
"Let her go, Pierce," Bucky reiterates, his tone harsh once more and his stare pure murder, "I won't ask again."
Pierce clicks his tongue beside me, letting up on my leash to let me relax slightly.
"Oh Barnes, did you really waltz in here thinking you'd walk back out?"
There's a deadly silence and I swear you can hear my heart smash into the floor even though I expected this. With every second between his last words and his next, I grow more panicked.
"I have you surrounded, Barnes. You're not getting out of this," Pierce announces. Bucky doesn't look the least bit unnerved, though.
Pierce reaches you to an ear piece I didn't know was there and touches it, "Guns at attention."
From my spot next to him, all I hear is static. There's no response coming back, and the confusion becomes evident on Alexander's face at the same moment I realize what's going on. Hope like a new sunrise breaks in me and I look over at Bucky to find him smirking. He winks at me once before furrowing his brows at Pierce.
"What's wrong, can't reach your men?" Bucky taunts.
And then all Hell breaks loose.
Guns are firing and people are screaming and within seconds, Bucky's mafia that's already infiltrated the gala hall appears from the woodwork, their guns raised and keeping the few mafia members left under gun point. Bucky just stands coolly in the midst as another deadly silence blankets the room. I can practically feel the rage draining off of Alexander.
"Get him!" Pierce suddenly shouts, and what few men are left charge at Bucky. Including the personal guards around us. The gunfire begins again, and the classy event is soon painted crimson.
I take the brief moment of chaos to my advantage and shoot up from my seat. As soon as Pierce registers that I'm moving, it's too late. Despite the screaming of my body, I sprint behind Pierce's chair and brace one heeled foot at its back. Then, before he can reach for a gun, I wrap the leash he's collared me with around his neck and pull back, strangling him with the own device he subjected me under.
His hands claw desperately at the chain and I feel my exhausted muscles trembling, but I refuse to let up. I keep holding the chain tighter and snap my gaze up in Bucky's direction just in time to see him shoot a guard between the eyes.
"Bucky!" I shout, gaining his attention instantly.
I know I can't hold Pierce off much longer, so Bucky will need to help me take him down while I've got him strangled to the chair. The metal is cutting deep into his skin when Bucky begins fighting desperately to reach us. Before he can, though, Pierce gets a purchase on the chain and yanks with such force that it sends my body flying over him and the chair. I land flat on my back so hard on the tile that the air rushes out of my lungs and every cut and tear rips open.
"Y/N!" Bucky roars, and it rattles my very bones
I gasp and groan in pain simultaneously, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. The second I can breathe again, Pierce is dragging me backwards by the chain.
"No!" I shout, reaching up and gripping the chain before yanking it.
We tug back and forth as he drags me, but I manage to hook my foot around one of the overturned chairs and use the leverage to yank the chain so hard that I hear a snap followed by a shrill yell.
I just broke his wrist.
When I pull again, the chain comes free and a weight lifts from my shoulders. I scramble to my feet, about to sprint away and towards where I last saw Bucky when Pierce's hands grip my shoulders and rip me back. I don't even have time to scream when my back is slammed into a hard wall and Pierce is before me, a knife in his unmangled hand that's pressed to my cheek.
"You little bitch" he seethes.
My chest is heaving with breath and panic as I read back and spit in his face as hard as I can. He recoils slightly and I relish in it. My happiness only lasts a second, though, because his knife is pressing into my cheek. I try to squirm but his body is pressed firmly to mine and pins me to the wall.
"I so didn't want to end you this quickly," Pierce whispers, his voice slithering against my skin.
I keep trying to be strong, to be so strong, but it's getting harder to keep up. I try to not show my fear, but it's getting harder and harder to hide. I feel myself finally breaking after the hell that these last few days have been and just when I think he's going to end it all, he's gone. In a moment, he's off of me and unconscious on the ground.
And Bucky is standing before me, his chest heaving and his eyes wild.
"Bucky," I breathe, already feeling my strength slip away.
I don't have to be strong anymore.
Bucky drops the gun he just rendered Pierce unconscious with, every inch of his face softening upon my bloody, trembling form. He looks a minute away from crying when I stumble forward and crash into him, letting myself break down in his arms that already wrap around my waist and keep me upright. He keeps me so tight to himself that there is no room between us. I bury my face into his neck and let out a sob, my tears mixing with the blood on his suit. I can't tell which of us is shaking harder, but all I can tell is the warmth and security that Bucky's hands bring me.
"Oh doll," Bucky whispers, sending a shiver down my spine, "You're alive. You're alive."
I mumble some sort of affirmation, but I can barely think straight.
"I'm so sorry, doll. I'm so sorry." Bucky repeats it over and over again, "God, Y/N I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Buck. It's alright," I whisper, but he keeps shaking his head. He pulls back far enough to meet my gaze.
"I've been shitty to you. I should've listened to you, I should never have left you. I am never leaving you again."
"It's okay, I forgive you," I repeat, brushing a bloody hand against his jaw, "Of course it's gonna cost you at least four new pairs of shoes."
At my joke, a laugh of pure relief to have me back in hands escapes his lips. I chuckle softly too, taking in every inch of his breathtaking face. A tear drops down his cheek and he leans his forehead against mine.
"I love you so much, I love you more than life." he breathes.
"I love you too. That's all that kept me breathing, loving you,"I respond, and his lips are on mine in an instant.
Even though it's only been a few days, kissing him feels like I've been in a drought and he's my water. The kiss is desperate and pleading and consuming. It steals whatever strength is left in my knees and I link my arms around his neck to support myself. When he finally pulls away, he leaves a trail of kisses to my nose and then my forehead before tugging me to himself again.
"I'm going to tear him apart for this," Bucky vows, and I know it shouldn't but I still let out a breath of relief at that.
"Is that why he's not dead yet?" I ask, chuckling softly. He does the same, kissing the top of my head.
"That's exactly why," Bucky agrees, pulling back and rubbing a finger along my cheek. He becomes serious again and I feel my heart flutter.
"When I found out you were gone, I lost myself." He says, his throat bobbing as he Cho's my face with his large hands, "Y/N, there is no me without you"
I turn to kiss his hand before leaning into it more.
"I'll always find my way back to you. You're all I have, James"
Another tear works down his cheek before he finally steps to the side. The gala is trashed, but the gunfire is over. Apparently, his men were here hours before anyone else got here. I feel my strength abandoning me, so I lean my weight onto Bucky. He feels this and immediately scoops me into his arms, holding me close to his chest.
"I'm going to kiss every one of these scars when we get back" His voice rumbles, and I smile as I lean my head further into him.
"Let's go home, my love"
And he held up his promise. He never left me again.
4K notes · View notes
writing-for-marvel · 11 months
Text
Withdrawal
[He’s Hazardous To My Health Series]
Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Resident!Fem!Reader
< < PART 2 | Series Masterlist | PART 4 > >
Summary: You wait for Bucky to call.
Warnings: strictly 18+ due to the AU, some angst and self doubt, references to sex, references to Bucky having a traumatic past
Word count: 2.8k
A/N: Will he call? Won’t he call? Let’s find out! Banners by @vase-of-lilies
Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library
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Bucky stares down at his phone and sighs.
He wants to call you, genuinely, so why is dialling your number so difficult?
Perhaps it’s too soon, is what he tells himself. It hasn’t even been a full day since the end of your date, calling now probably makes him look desperate.
Should he message you? Tell you that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you all day? Ugh, no… that seems extremely forward for someone he’s only been on a single date with, regardless of if it’s the truth.
There’s never been anyone whom he’s connected with enough to warrant a second date, let alone have him promising to call. He’s completely out of his depth, drowning in a sea of anxiety and no one has taught him how to swim.
Bucky knows he’s overthinking, but you make it hard to think clearly. You have his brain short circuiting, reforming synapses so that all his thoughts are rerouted to the same thing: you.
Turning his phone off, he sets it down beside him. Just because he isn’t calling straight away, doesn’t mean he won’t at all. It’s probably better to wait and not seem super eager.
Or is that counterintuitive? If you enjoy someone’s company, should you let them know so you can see them again as soon as possible?
Fuck, why is this such a daunting task? He’s never had an issue with talking or flirting with anyone before, it seems to come naturally to him. And yet the thought that he’ll say the wrong thing, and fuck up whatever it is between the two of you is making his stomach churn with prickling nerves he’s never experienced before.
Perhaps he’ll find the courage to call tomorrow.
* * *
“You seem distracted, what’s on your mind?” The familiar voice from the driver's seat of the ambulance pulls Bucky from his daydream.
You, is what Bucky thinks. You are constantly on his mind. Him and his best friend Steve are half an hour into their shift and you have not left the forefront of his mind in that entire time.
It’s like he’s in a trance.
“There’s this girl from the hospital…” Bucky trails off, unsure how to articulate exactly how you’ve bewitched him since meeting not even a week ago.
The night before last wasn’t just another hookup. At least, not to him.
“I’m gonna need a little more information than that Buck, there’s been quite a few girls of yours, especially from the hospital.” Steve laughs, but Bucky’s chest tightens at the insinuation that you’re just another fling, even though Steve doesn’t know any better.
“Two nights ago we went on a date, it ended up back at her place.” This is probably not news to Steve - he’s heard many stories about Bucky’s one night stands which would have started exactly like this. But there is one huge difference this time around. “And then I told her I’d call.”
“You’re thinking about a second date with her? She must be something special.” Bucky chuckles under his breath. Yeah, you really are something special. So fucking special.
“She’s beautiful, intelligent, funny, witty. When she was treating that little girl from the train derailment she was so good with her, kind and patient. I don’t know how to describe it, we just click. I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to feel more than physical attraction for someone but with her it just happens, I can’t stop myself.”
He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but Bucky’s already addicted to you. He’s only had one fix, but he’s already showing symptoms of withdrawal. Every second apart feels like an hour, craving your company and the rapture firing in every neuron of his body when you’re in his presence.
“Look at you actually falling for someone.” Steve teases, without even knowing the full extent of how enthralled Bucky is with you. “So when are you seeing her again?”
Silence fills the front seat of the ambulance when Bucky can’t answer the question.
“Bucky, you have to see her again! Listen to how you’re talking about her, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you actually speak about wanting to see someone again. You need to call her.” Steve stops at a red light and looks over to Bucky in the passenger seat. His best friend knows him better than perhaps he knows himself but doesn’t have the same obstacle with letting people in as Bucky does.
“That’s easier said than done.” Bucky can’t mask the dejected tone in his voice, and Steve recognises the crestfallen hang of his head, knowing exactly what he means without voicing it aloud.
“I know you've been through a lot in your life Buck, you’ve built walls up to prevent any more heartbreak…” Steve starts, but Bucky doesn’t need yet another reminder of his tragic backstory.
“Alright Mr I minored in psychology, I get your point. I’m damaged goods and don’t let people get close to me.”
“It’s just a second date, Buck, you aren’t asking for her hand in marriage. Just see where it goes.” Steve makes it sound so easy. Most people wouldn’t get so stressed about something they would consider as minor as a second date, yet Bucky feels like he’s about to expose the most intimate parts of his soul to someone for the first time.
“But I don’t want to hurt her. I know nothing about dating or being in a relationship.” Bucky pauses - the fact that he’s even considering something as substantial as a relationship with you punches him in the gut. He’s never wanted that with someone before. “And I don’t want to get hurt myself.” Because all Bucky has known is relationships breaking down. To him romantic relationships are synonymous with pain and he’s had enough of that for a lifetime.
“You’ll never know if you never try. I know you think letting someone in will lead to heartbreak, but what if it’s the opposite? What if by letting this person into your heart you finally find love and contentment?” Bucky has never allowed himself to imagine a life where that is a possibility - opening himself up to that prospect sounds like a recipe for more suffering. Besides, he’s been damaged goods for a long time, he’s sure there’s no one who would want to put up with him anyway.
“You really are a hopeless romantic.” Bucky comments, trying to avoid the questions Steve is raising, and divert the topic of their conversation.
“I want you to be happy, Buck. You’ve never afforded yourself that courtesy.”
Though his experience screams at him to run in the opposite direction, that this would be a horrible decision leading to further pain, Bucky finds it hard to believe someone as sweet and good-natured as yourself would ever hurt him intentionally. Even if there is only a slim chance that he doesn’t completely fuck this up, given Bucky cannot stop thinking about you, he supposes it’s worth a shot calling you.
“Well, maybe it’s finally time I do.” Bucky mutters under his breath.
* * *
You’ve been checking your phone periodically throughout the day to se if you have any new notifications from Bucky, but each time your phone lights up, a new wave of disappointment floods your chest.
You wonder if the notion of actually calling you, or simply messaging, has even crossed Bucky’s mind once since he left your place about 36 hours ago, or if he already knew it was an empty promise at the time he made it.
“Heard anything yet?” Wanda asks hopefully, but you shake your head in response. The first thing Wanda asked during your next shift together was how your date went with Bucky - between treating patients you described the picnic Bucky set up on the riverbank and (in slightly less detail) the euphoric night you shared when you made it back to your place.
“I’m stupid for actually believing he’s going to call, aren’t I?”
“…No.” Wanda offers after a brief hesitation which tells you more than the single word does. Sensing your regret in asking, she continues on. “Sweetie, only you know the connection you share, I can’t speak to that. If you feel like there’s something special there and he promised to call, then you have every right to believe him.”
Perhaps you’re being foolish, you should know better than to hang your hopes on a man who is notorious for being a fuckboy, but you really thought Bucky was being genuine when he promised to contact you. That the blissful night you shared, and the waves of ecstasy which melded into a flood of pure pleasure, meant more than just a one night stand.
Or at least it did to you.
“Just because he’s never pursued more than a first date with other people in this hospital doesn’t mean he isn’t now, or isn’t with you. Sometimes it just takes the right person, that could be you.” You take some comfort in the sincerity of her tone, but the voice in the back of your mind reminds you of what Wanda alerted you to prior to your date: no one gets a second date with Bucky Barnes.
“You’ve changed from giving me no hope to giving me false hope, Wan.” You joke, trying to brush off the conversation and not reveal just how heartbroken you’ll be if Bucky ghosts you, even with Wanda warning about his ways.
Internally you remind yourself that it’s only been a day and a half and to not be too mad at him, yet. Perhaps he intends to call, but hasn’t gotten around to it, though you’re pretty sure you’re only telling yourself that to stop the perpetual ache in your chest rather than truly believing it.
“He promised he would call, that’s not false hope.” Wanda advises, shooting you a look of encouragement as you both complete paperwork for your respective patients.
At that moment, the doors to the ER swing open and none other than the paramedic you were just speaking about walks in wheeling a patient.
You hate how good he looks, long chestnut hair framing his face and those dazzling blue eyes you’ve dreamed about shine from all the way across the room. He’s unfairly attractive, and he walks into a room like he knows it too.
Him and his partner consult the head nurse of the ER, who, after examining her clipboard for a moment, points towards your direction, making your stomach flip.
Steel blue eyes meet yours and for a moment your entire world stands still. The sounds of the busy ER fade away and even the presence of Wanda beside you dissolves into non-existence when his eyes find you and a smile overtakes his features. That damn cheeky smile which makes your knees weak.
He truly is infuriatingly beautiful.
“Hey.” Is all you can think to say as they approach, a lump in your throat forming which would prevent you from voicing any more words if your brain could think of any other than how strapping and handsome he looks in his uniform.
“Hi.” Bucky responds softly with a dreamy smile, eyes lingering on yours for a long beat before turning away. How could someone who looks at you with such warmth not want to see you again?
You shake the thought from your mind as your focus on the patient, a young man with scared brown eyes. You can’t afford to be distracted right now, even if you desperately want to look back at him and revel in the fondness brimming in his eyes which was so apparent during your date.
After Bucky’s equally tall, broad and handsome paramedic partner gets you up to speed on the patient's history, you get to work on taking his vitals.
“Rogers, Barnes, give us some space to work, please.” Dr Strange requests and without the chance to say another word to each other, both paramedics disappear out the corner of your periphery.
What you don’t notice is Bucky’s soft gaze on you through the glass walls of the patient room as you start your work up, believing that he had simply got back in his ambulance and out into the field.
“That’s her?” Steve asks from beside Bucky. He knows full well it must be you, he’s never seen his best friend look so enamoured with a girl, nor lost for words as when he set eyes on you, but he wants Bucky to admit it aloud.
“Yep, that’s her.” Bucky says with a pride that if Steve didn’t know any better, would suggest that her meant his girl. Bucky answers without taking his eyes off you, the corners of mouth tugging into a smile. His best friend has it bad, and he doesn’t even realise.
Steve suspects if he doesn’t remind Bucky they have a shift to get back to, he’d happily watch you work for the rest of the day.
He allows Bucky a couple more minutes of that luxury before heading back to the ambulance, knowing his best friend well enough to realise before either Bucky or yourself do, just how significant Bucky’s feelings for you are.
* * *
Bucky steps out of the shower, the warm water having rinsed the hard days work off himself.
He knows he needs to call you. Waiting any longer, especially after seeing you today, even if it were only for a brief moment, would surely only indicate disinterest. That’s so far from how he feels about you, so he decides needs to take matters into his own hands and fulfil the promise he made two nights ago.
A fresh swarm of butterflies fills his stomach. He’s actually going to do this.
He just hopes you’re after more than just another hookup. Bucky’s used to being the one only interested in sex, but if the roles are reversed this time, it’ll be his exposed heart being ripped from his chest.
No, he can’t think like that. He’s finally giving himself a chance at happiness.
Bucky reminds himself that you asked him to promise to call after your date. It’s not just him that wants this, you want him to call.
With that thought, he pulls out his phone and quickly presses on your contact, so he doesn’t chicken out, and with a shaky hand holds his phone to his ear. Bucky’s heart beats in his throat as the first ring sounds, and then skips a beat altogether when the click of you answering fills his ears.
“Bucky, you called.” He can hear the smile in your voice through the line, but what makes his heart clench is the trace of surprise he can perceive, as if you truly hadn’t expected him to call.
“I did promise to.” He reminds you, but it doesn’t entirely eliminate the bitter shame bubbling in the pit of his stomach that even though he did in fact promise, you didn’t fully believe him.
“I’m happy you did. I had a really great time the other night.”
“So did I.” Those three simple words don’t sum up just how much Bucky wholeheartedly enjoyed every second he spent with you, regardless of if that were naked in your bed or getting to know you on a picnic blanket as the sun set across the horizon, but in his anxious state he can’t find words more poetic to express it. “And I’d love to do it again if you’re up for it.”
“Hmm, I’m gonna have to think about it.” He can tell by the light tone of your voice you’re joking, but he supposes he deserves waiting for an answer considering he made you wait for his call. “Of course I’d love to go on a second date with you James.”
The combination of your words and the fact that you punctuated the sentence with his true first name sends Bucky straight to heaven. Everything about you makes him completely weak in a way he has never experienced before. All of those walls Steve seems to think Bucky has built around himself don’t appear to exist with you, instead, you’ve come into his life as easily as walking through a front door with a welcome mat out front.
“I guess I’m going to have to outdo a picnic at sunset then.” He chuckles to himself, knowing that he’s never had this problem before, but realising it’s a good problem to have.
You continue to talk well into the night, forgetting what time it is, and that you both have early shifts in the morning. None of that matters when you’re so caught up in each other.
Bucky simply enjoys the sound of your voice, and how it soothes the remaining anxiety which was swirling in his chest before calling you. He certainly isn’t hanging up first, not when talking with you has been the best part of his day.
He’s chasing happiness. And he might just find it with you.
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Part 4 > >
Be added to the series taglist here
He’s Hazardous To My Health [Paramedic!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @lavenderpenumbra @crazyunsexycool @eralen @buckbuckyoongs @blackwidownat2814 @roschele @crayongirl-linz @ozwriterchick @desert-fern @misshale21 @chalesleclerc164 @rookthorne @janineb86 @emmabarnes @scarletbich @fallenlilangel99 @princezzjasmine @mdrovert @thebuckybarnesvault @doasyoudesireandlive @solitarioslilium @iamfandomwasted @tanyaspartak @netflixxgoddess @pop-rocks-818 @dumdidditydumdoo @missvelvetsstuff @marvelhoeland @thesadcatto-queen @kayden666 @amiimar @razor-blayde @katheryn1 @safew0rd @kentokaze @thewackywriter @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @badasswlthafatass @Vickie5446 @loveoldmenlikelana @00cmh @pointless-girl @honeyglee @nerdxacid @moonymagician @ashhsage @prettylittlepluviophile @otomefromtheheart @sjsmith56 @mandijo17 @lokidokieokie @oceansandblackhearts @rebeccapineapple @soorwellystan @excusememrbarnes @lofaewrites @snapcapquartet @wishingwell-2 @unaxv @aya-fay
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stuckysbike · 11 months
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I’ll Be Your Prize
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A/n: All mistakes are my own. Written on my phone.
Bucky x Reader
AU: Bucky is a boxer, and you have a surprise for him.
Warnings: filthy smut, slight angst, soft!Dom Bucky, anal sex, friends with benefits situation, idiots in love, presumed unrequited love.
The sound of the shower stopping caught your attention and you paused, listening for movement. After a few moments you went back to your phone, reexamining once again the pictures of you and Bucky posted on Instagram from earlier tonight.
Or last night, it was three hours past midnight now. Last night was the fight of Bucky’s career, and you had a front row seat to the ninth round knockout. Despite the beautiful women who had been crowding and flirting with him all night it was you he had chosen to take back to his luxury hotel suite.
You were reclining on the bed, body among the plush pillows when he stepped out of the bathroom. Water droplets were still clinging to his chest and disappearing below the towel slung low around his waist.
“Hey Champion,” you teased.
Bucky smirked at you, his eyes raking your body, appreciating the silky teddy you wore that enhanced your curves. “Are you my prize?”
You bit you lip, turning coy. “Yes sir,” you breathed.
Bucky’s smirk turned to a smouldering gaze and you squeezed your thighs together hoping to relieve some tension but you tingled even more. He licked his bottom lip as his eyes raked over you shamelessly. “Are you going to be my good girl?”
You nodded eagerly and he smiled. “Words Sugarplum,” he warned.
“Yessir,” you blinked at him.
His corded muscles bulged as he stalked towards you. Watching him earlier in the ring you saw not only his opponent flinch but the contingent of potential future challengers shifted uncomfortably too. Bucky was a force to be reckoned with, and now his attention was solely on you.
Fighters needed confidence and cockiness and Bucky had that in spades. He didn’t brag and postulate the way most others did, his quiet confidence was conveyed in an unnerving and unwavering stare.
Yes they would probably challenge him, convince themselves they could and would beat him, they would even give it their best shot but Bucky was steadfast, smart and swift despite his massive bulk.
As he dropped the towel you licked your lips, admiring his thick thighs and tapered hips. His hard leaking cock curved upwards and you thought about crawling forward and wrapping your lips around the tip but you had other plans tonight.
Bucky was in top form and despite the bruises and marks from the opponent on his body he was eager to claim his prize, and that prize was you.
“Will it fit?” You teased, keeping up with the little game.
Bucky nodded thoughtfully and tilted his head to the side to examine you, and you felt your cunt flutter again as he stalked closer.
The bed dipped as Bucky knelt on it, and one big hand curled around your ankle, thumb brushing the smooth skin as he followed your leg to where the satin rested on your thighs.
“So beautiful,” he murmured.
You preened at his praise, proud that you were the one in his bed, the one he wanted in his bed. Bucky was a popular man, a ladies man, and when he finally decided to settle down hearts would break; you just hoped your heart wasn’t one of them.
You pushed the tiny gnawing feeling away as Bucky settled over you, his mouth going straight to your neck. He kissed and marked your skin as you ran your palms down over his impressive pecs, pausing to scrape his nipples with your nails.
Bucky hissed in pleasure and rocked against you leaving a wet spot on your thigh. He moved to the other side of your neck, nipping the sensitive flesh and you moaned, your eyes rolling back in your head.
Long fingers played about with the hem of your nightie, his warm hand sliding over your soft belly. He used his teeth to tug the satin from your left breast then licked over your nipple. “Love these tits,” Bucky mumbled as he licked your nipple then drew it into his mouth.
His hands played under your satin nightie and thick fingers explored your soaked pussy, parting your lips and brushing your sensitive clit.
“Bucky, feels so good,” you sighed to him. “Need more.”
Bucky chuckled and pushed two fingers into your channel. You knew the drill, Bucky had a system, an unspoken kink that you were prepared to explore, he loved to tease your tightly furled hole with his pinky as he fucked you with his fingers.
You felt almost smug spreading your legs as Bucky’s finger drifted lower, and you couldn’t help but sigh as he discovered what you had done.
“Sugarplum? What have you done?” He voiced your thoughts as he sat up on his haunches and gripped your ankles in one hand. The other slid under your butt and he lifted you easily to get a better view of your asshole. Or of the plug peeking out from between your cheeks.
You spent a long time exploring your options, but in the end you chose one with jewelled base for tonight. You had spent weeks preparing for this, stretching yourself with toys. Given your friends with benefits relationship you took a chance wearing it for him tonight, but he invited you to the fight and he had yet to discard you on a fight night.
You blushed at his manhandling of your body, moving you about as if you weighed nothing. “Your prize,” you breathed.
You felt suddenly nervous, you were about to give Bucky every single piece of your body, he already had your heart, with no idea if he felt the same way. You chased that little voice away as you watched him scan you with his eyes.
“I want you to fuck me in the ass,” you whispered softly.
Bucky’s eyes darkened and you felt your cunt flutter again. “Filthy girl,” Bucky groaned. He draped himself over you, kissed you hard then sat back up spreading your legs. He wasted no time in sliding two pillows underneath your hips and settling between your thighs.
“First I’m going to eat this ass, then I’m going to fuck it,” Bucky said. His mouth was hot on your thigh as he kissed the skin, and then the plug was shifting and twisting. “Is that what you want Love?”
“Yes please sir,” you said. Bucky’s chuckle was dark as he teased your hole. When the plug popped out his mouth was right there, licking your skin. He circled the rim, sucking at the puffy skin and making the most obscene slurping noises. He rested a hand over your tummy, and his thumb circled your clit. His other hand strayed up to tease your breast and nipple and you grasped at his thick wrist.
Bucky was determined, his mouth hummed against your rim and his thumb became more aggressive against your tight bundle of nerves and you tried to arch against him, but his arm anchored over your hips held you tight to the bed.
“Gonna’ come for me darlin’?” Bucky asked. You looked down into his lust blown eyes and squeezed his wrist tighter. He shifted, lacing his fingers with yours to anchor you as you felt your muscles begin to contract. “Come.”
You felt that burn in your hips snap and you cried out as you tried to grind against his face. Bucky groaned and humped against the bed as he worked you through your orgasm. He kept hold of your hand, and somehow that felt more intimate than his tongue probing your hole.
Your eyes fluttered and you watched in a daze as Bucky sat back and fisted his cock. He was dripping, and the bulbous head was nearly purple. “D’you got more lube?”
You nodded and reached underneath your pillow. Bucky leaned over you to kiss you, catching both of your hands and pressing them against the headboard. “Keep em’ here for me Sugarplum,” he ran his fingers through your natural slick and drew it down to your hole, and then added a generous dollop of lube to his cock, hissing at the cool temperature.
Big hands turned you over and you went easily, glancing back over your shoulder to watch him. Bucky pushed the bottom of your teddy out of the way, baring your rump to him and then used three fingers to test the stretch of your hole, adding lube and being careful to warm it. When he was satisfied you were stretched enough he made a pleased sound and pressed a kiss to the small of your back.
“Oh god Bucky,” you sighed as he positioned himself at your entrance and pressed forward. You had never taken anyone there and you already felt gone for him, desperate to have him in you.
You gasped, the stretch burned but it was a pleasant feeling and Bucky took his time, easing back and pushing in an inch at a time until his heavy balls rested against your pussy lips.
You grasped at the sheets, your teeth biting into your bottom lip as Bucky shifted getting used to your body. He slipped an arm beneath you and squeezed your tit, nipping the skin of your shoulder between his teeth then soothing it with wet kisses.
You rutted up, clenching around his length. “Bucky please move,” you panted unable to take the tension. He kissed your neck one last time, his tongue sneaking out to taste you before he drew his hips back and pressed forward slowly.
It wasn’t long until you found a rhythm, and Bucky’s moans mixed with your cries and the sound of skin on skin was the only sound in the room. His chest rested on your back as he pumped his hips, his thighs rested on yours pinning you down and his arms caged you in trying to keep his weight off your body. You felt safe and protected, and the haze in your mind started to clear out as he fucked you.
“So fucking tight Sugarplum, so good for me, good to me,” he said. “Your tight ass is the most amazing feeling. Like my cock in your ass huh Doll, I think you do?”
“Yeah, I can be your girl, your good girl,” you replied desperately. The hand between your breasts drifted lower and Bucky pressed two thick fingers into your channel.
“Fuck I can feel me inside you,” Bucky gasped as he moved his fingers. You felt so full, your thin walls between Bucky’s fingers and cock were burning and you whole body was buzzing. You could barely breathe, and at this point you weren’t sure you needed to. All you needed was Bucky.
You clenched around him and Bucky cried out. “Strangling my cock Sugarplum,” he moaned as he nipped your earlobe. You turned your head to share a messy kiss, all tongue and no finesse. The action made you giggle softly and Bucky kissed your head fondly.
You could soon feel his hips stutter, and he curled his fingers just so inside your sopping pussy while pressing your clit with his thumb at the same time. You cried out as you came and Bucky groaned, biting your skin lightly between his teeth. You felt his warmth a few moments later, ropes of his come filling you up.
You both lay in a haze, his hips occasionally rocking slightly. Your clit still twitched under his thumb with tiny aftershocks and you knew that you wanted to do this again.
“Next time on my back so I can kiss you proper,” you said quietly.
“Oh fuck,” he said as he heaved himself off you and collapsed back onto the mattress beside you. He gathered you into his arms and pulled you close, his hand cupping your ass. “You’ll be the death of me you beautiful menace.”
“I look ridiculous,” you giggled. You had one boob out of your nightie and your hair and face were a mess. Not to mention the sticky mess between your legs.
“Beautiful,” Bucky praised. “Thank you.”
You pressed a kiss to his lips and then Bucky was on his feet. He grabbed a wash cloth and after wiping you and himself clean he helped you off with your nightie. You snuggled in next to him as dawn began to break outside.
“You’re amazing,” you couldn’t help but say.
I love you.
“Thank you for being here, I love it when you watch me fight,” Bucky said as his fingers played with your hair. You snuggled into his broad chest and draped your leg over his thigh.
Bucky always bedded you after a fight, spent the days afterwards with you, as his adrenaline settled and he allowed himself to indulge in the pleasures that he denied for so long leading up to the bout.
“Thank you for bringing me along to your fight.”
Tell me you love me.
“You’ve been here from the start, only fair you get to see the biggest one so far,” Bucky murmured against your head. “Besides, your my best girl.”
“You’re so needy,” you rolled your eyes playfully, hiding your disappointment behind gentle teasing.
I may be your best girl, but I’m not your only girl.
“Let’s get some sleep Sugarplum,” Bucky said.
You nodded and kissed his chest but sleep was slow to come as your mind whirled and studied every word you had shared with Bucky tonight, but you settled down knowing that at least for now he had chosen you.
—————
As you lay awake your mind whirling with thoughts so did Bucky.
It’s was getting harder for him to give you up, to let you go back to your life, and he hated how far gone he was on you. Other girls were an easy distraction for a time but all he wanted was you and they were becoming less satisfying.
It was an offhand comment you had made years ago, the first time you hooked up, that kept him from confessing his feelings. Even then he was hung up on you, the quiet granddaughter of his mentor and the man who owned the boxing gym he first trained at.
I’m not looking for anything serious and neither should you be, you’ve got a career to think about now. Besides, your not the kind of guy a girl like me deserves.
He could still hear your voice clearly almost a decade later. The words still cut. He wasn’t good enough or smart enough for you, he wasn’t what you wanted in a husband.
Bucky wondered if he should give it a chance with you, put his heart on the line one last time? He turned his head, curled his arm across your tummy and snuggled into your side.
His actions settled both of you, and unbeknownst to each other you both fell asleep with each others comfort.
Part 2
570 notes · View notes
mymoonagedaydream · 1 year
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Summary: After the incident things were looking pretty bleak, but the one thing you thought would make everything worse ended up saving you.
Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x y/n
Word Count: 7.8k
Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide and self harm, mentions of guns and gun violence
Author’s Note: So I wrote a one shot because I cannot, for the life of me, stick to a consistent writing schedule. Enjoy!
---
You never expected anyone to feel sorry for you. That had been a pretty consistent theme throughout your life, why would anyone feel sorry for the kid who got everything they asked for? Granted, the only things in your past that might have sparked an ounce of pity were trivial, like a broken ankle or a bad break up, but even after this mess you never expected much. 
It'd been a few months now since it happened, either two or three, you weren't sure exactly- enough time for seemingly everyone you'd ever met to show up and implore you to tell the story over and over again. One or two of them did appear genuinely concerned but you couldn't shake the feeling that most of them just wanted the gossip, desperate for anything to make them the most interesting person in the room at their next garden party or champagne brunch or ambassador's reception. Every single painful, repetitive, disingenuous conversation you had to sit through served as a further reminder of why you’d left this life behind as soon as you had the chance. Now you were stuck back here for god knows how much longer, and everything just felt bleak.
A soft knock rapped against your bedroom door. You didn't bother answering, they'd just let themselves in, they always did. The knob turned and the door creaked open, your father's timid face peering in.
“Are you busy?” It was nice of him to ask, but it was also unnecessary, because you hadn’t left your couch to do anything other than pee in weeks. “Your aunt Carol is here. She brought you some gifts, I thought it might make you feel better.”
Both of you knew very well that it would have the opposite effect, the only thing you'd ever resented your mother for was bringing that vapid bitch into your life. Well, that and accidentally letting slip that the tooth fairy wasn’t real on your third birthday. 
Carol careered round the door and past your father in her typical pantomime dame dress and makeup. You smirked, thinking to yourself that, in dimmer light and with some sinister music, it would've made an excellent scene for a horror film. Ever since your mother passed she’d been sniffing around the house more and more, you were convinced she was trying to seduce your dad to get his money but you couldn't prove it. Thankfully, he had enough sense to stay the hell away from her.  
“Oh, look at you, you poor thing. You look awful.” She clunked the wrapped box and card she was holding down on the table and joined you on the couch, her offensive perfume making your nose begin to itch. “Come on, auntie Carol is here for you now, tell me everything darling.”
You gave your father, who was standing by the door looking very apologetic, a harsh glare. 
“There's not much to tell. Dad was mid-speech when some guy in the audience stood up, next thing I knew he was getting tackled and there was a loud bang. I look down and I'm bleeding.”
“Oh my, who was he?”
“Just some crazy, nationalist, militia guy targeting politicians, apparently. They have no idea if he was alone or with a group so it’s safer for me to stay here for now. My apartment is too much of a risk.”
“Bless you. It's so difficult being in the public eye, but you are so brave.” She pointed down to your stomach, “and don't worry, I've got some magic serum that'll clear up any unsightly scars ready for bikini season. I'll send you my diet plan, too.”
You turned the dial up on the daggers you were shooting your father every time she looked away, and he finally took the hint. 
“Okay, Carol. We should let her rest now.”
“Alright, love you so much baby. Look after yourself, okay? Maybe run a comb through your hair or something. Very frizzy.”
You rolled your eyes at her back as she left and reached over to grab the card. There was a sad puppy on the front, sitting beneath the words sorry you’re having a hard time. You figured that Hallmark probably didn't stock a sorry you got shot by a psychopath card.
Your father was lingering. He never lingered. 
“Everything okay, dad?”
“Yes. Although, there is something I need to tell you.”
“Go on.”
“I've hired someone.”
“Right.”
“For you,” he noted your confusion, “to protect you.”
“A bodyguard?”
“No, he's not a bodyguard.” You raised an eyebrow. “He's not just a bodyguard.”
“The hell does that mean?”
He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Wiping the sweat from his palms onto his trousers, he strode over and took a seat beside you, preparing himself with a deep breath. This was serious. 
“The last time you saw Dr Burke she recommended that we… don't leave you on your own too much. So, he's going to be looking out for your welfare, going to be spending time with you.”
“Ah, I see. Suicide watch. Great.”
“I’m worried about you. You barely eat, you don't move from that spot, you haven’t showered for weeks. I know you miss being in your own place but,” he put his hand on top of yours, “I’ve already lost your mother, I can’t lose you too.”
Well, that hit you like a punch in the gut.
“Okay, dad. If you think it’ll help.”
“I do.” He stood up, giving you a light kiss on the top of your head before turning to leave. “He’ll be here in a few hours.”
---
You were woken from a light sleep by another knock on the door. The only thing you hadn’t been struggling with recently was sleep, it was the only way you could make your days pass quicker.
Again, the door creaked open before you answered. Your dad stepped in followed by a man you assumed to be your new long-term babysitter. You’d expected someone more stern looking, someone dressed like an extra from Men in Black, but he just looked like a normal guy. He had a strong face, broad shoulders and deep brown hair. If you’d been in a different state of mind you might even have considered him attractive, but you were far too tired for anything like that.
“Sweetheart, this is-” Your father looked blankly over to his companion, obviously already having forgotten his name.
“James. Nice to meet you.”
You mustered a faint smile. There was a brief, awkward silence as your father’s eyes flicked from you back to the composed looking guest, whose huge arms were folded over his chest. 
“Well, uh- I have a call in a few minutes. I suppose I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” he clapped a hand on James’ back, “just let me know if you need anything.”
Then, just like that, you were alone with a complete stranger. Your eyes stayed firmly fixed to the movie you’d slept through half of but were suddenly incredibly interested in. You heard James shuffle forwards, his broad frame eventually scooching into the edge of your vision.
“Look, I get it. You’re a grown-ass adult, I wouldn’t like having some stranger keeping an eye on me all the time either. If you want, I can just stick to the corner, stay out of your way. You won’t even know I’m here.”
That actually sounded like a pretty sweet deal, but you’d feel incredibly guilty having him perched on the other side of the room like a piece of furniture. The least you could do was be a little friendly.
“That’s alright, you can have the comfy seat,” you faintly motioned your head towards the nearby armchair, “but I’ll be shitty company.”
He happily settled himself in. “Makes no odds to me, I’m getting paid to be here.”
A short breathy chuckle escaped your lips, taking you by surprise. It’d been a long while since someone had made you laugh, all the conversations you’d had in the past few weeks had been unbelievably morbid and condescending, most of them with people you had no interest in talking to in the first place.
A couple of silent hours passed. You‘d gotten so used to being alone that you kept forgetting he was there, the odd cough or movement making you jump out of your skin. Eventually, Elaine pounded on the door and announced that she’d brought dinner up for both of you, so James jumped up and helped her with the cart.
Elaine was your father’s housekeeper and the only thing that had prevented him dying of starvation or exposure since your mom died. She was kind and patient, you liked her alot. Her food was always incredible, you felt awful for barely eating it over the last few weeks but the pain from your stomach wound combined with zero expenditure of energy had just killed your appetite.
James looked from his plate over to yours, his knife and fork poised. “You not eating?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“When’s the last time you ate anything?”
Someone had been talking to dad. 
You shrugged. “This morning, I think.”
“Bullshit.” Your eyes snapped in his direction. “You know you’re not gonna get any better if you don’t eat, right? You’ll just have to put up with me bugging you for even longer.”
“Thought you were gonna stay out my way?”
“Mostly.” His mouth curled into a faint smile. “How about this, you eat a couple bites, I’ll eat the rest and we’ll tell your dad you ate the whole thing.”
You considered for a second. Not a bad offer, getting your dad off your back for a while would be pretty great. You knew what game he was playing but you were more than willing to play too just as long as the benefits outweighed the drawbacks.
“Deal.”
You expended a tremendous amount of effort leaning yourself forward and grabbing the plate, feeling James’ gaze tunnelling into the side of your face as the two of you began to eat. You had to admit, you enjoyed the food much more than you’d expected, half the plate had gone before you felt full. James looked pretty smug while finishing off the rest of it.
The sky outside slowly turned dark and you could feel yourself getting sleepy, so you settled deeper into the couch for your third sleep of the day.
“Hey,” James leant forward in his seat, “you need help getting to your bed or anything?”
“Oh, no, I’m good. I usually just sleep here.”
He gave you a puzzled look. “There? Is that comfortable? Can’t be good for your back.”
“Probably isn’t, but I don’t have the energy to move.”
“You don’t need the energy,” he sprung up from his seat, “you’ve got me.”
Before you could comprehend what was happening, James had an arm anchored around your upper back and was inching you upwards, away from the safety of your sad-zone and onto your feet. A few mild pangs of pain shot through your stomach but it wasn’t enough to make you fight back, so you just gave in, relaxed into his grip and let him walk you across the room.
Your mattress was unbelievably comfortable and you felt knot after knot untying in your back as you stretched out flat, but you didn’t need to tell him that. Who was this magical asshole, anyway, showing up and suddenly knowing what would help you better than you did?
“I’m just gonna crash on that armchair, if that’s all good with you.”
“There?” You carefully rolled onto your side so you were facing away from him. “Can’t be good for your back.”
A deep chuckle came from behind you. “Smartass. Shout me if you need to go to the bathroom or anything.”
You just grunted, already half asleep. It was only another minute or so before you drifted off peacefully and got the best night of rest you’d had in weeks.
Maybe this babysitting thing wouldn’t be so bad after all.
---
You woke to the sound of soft snoring on the other side of the room. Light was bleeding in around the curtains and you could hear footsteps in the corridor, probably your father heading downstairs for his coffee and newspaper. Coming to your senses, you rolled over and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to pee. You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked over to see James’ limp hand hanging over the edge of the armchair. 
You didn’t need him, you could do this. 
Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and hoisting yourself up was easier than expected but that, unfortunately, made you a little overconfident for the rest of the journey. After a couple of steps the pain started. You felt pathetic but that amount of effort had actually winded you, all you could do was lower yourself to the ground to catch your breath. 
“What the hell are you doing?”
You didn’t even realise he’d woken up, you were too busy wheezing. 
“Gotta pee.” You managed to push your words out between gulped in breaths.
“What did I say last night, huh? You should’a yelled.” He lowered himself beside you, placing one arm around your back and one under your knees. “Alright, brace yourself.”
“Wait, what are you-”
You choked on your words when he lifted you clean off the floor, a feat that not many had accomplished in the past. He offered to take you as far as the toilet itself but you adamantly refused, determined to cling onto your last shred of dignity while just about managing to shuffle over there, supporting yourself on the sink. 
You washed your hands and intentionally avoided looking in the mirror, moving straight over to the door and finding your minder stood directly outside.
He folded his arms. “While you’re here, why not take a quick shower?”
“I’m not supposed to get my dressings wet.”
“Again, nice try, but you really gotta do better than that to bullshit me.”
You let out a heavy sigh. “Can’t you just let me rot away in peace?”
“I mean, I could, but I’m pretty sure your dad would refuse to pay me.”
“I’ll pay you to leave me alone.”
“You can’t afford me, honey.” He smirked and slipped past you. “I’ll get the water going.”
James turned the shower on and put some folded towels by the sink before heading back into your room and gathering some clean pyjamas. You just stayed where you were, leaning against the counter, as he buzzed around like an overexcited child.
“You’re all set. I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
“Thank you, supernanny.”
He flipped you the bird. You laughed and locked the door.
Slowly, carefully, you got undressed, removed your bandages and placed them in the bin. You then had to perch yourself down on the closed toilet seat for a brief break before climbing into the shower. Standing under the water, you looked down at your wound for the first time in weeks, finding yourself amazed at how quickly it had healed. You ran your fingers over it. Never in a million years did you think you’d have a healed gunshot wound anywhere on your body. You thought back to what your aunt said, maybe it was unsightly, it certainly looked weird from this ang-
“You alright?”
James’ overbearing voice snapped you out of your train of thought.
“Yes.”
You turned off the shower and stepped out, lifting a towel to your face and savouring the feeling of finally being clean again. You couldn’t imagine how bad you must’ve smelled before. You pulled on the fresh pyjamas before taking a deep breath and wiping down the mirror, getting a nasty shock when you saw yourself. It looked like all the life had been drained out of you. Your face looked pallid, red eyes sitting above deep, dark bags while skin flaked from your chapped lips. Your hair was still dripping wet but you could tell that weeks of neglect had taken a toll on it.
It seemed like James might’ve come along just in time, any longer sitting in that misery pit and these changes might’ve become irreversible.
“Still all good?”
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, just trying to remember the most efficient way to cut wrists. Is it horizontal or vertical?”
Throwing your towel in the laundry basket, you opened the door to see a very unamused looking man. 
“Real funny.”
He didn’t get a chance to properly scold you before Elaine knocked on the door with breakfast, a smug grin settling on your face as it dawned on him that he probably shouldn’t cuss you out in front of your father’s closest confidante. 
The two of you settled into your designated spots. James immediately started digging into the plate that had been piled high for him but you held off, it had been a while since you stood up for that long and you needed to recover. Sharp pangs of stomach pain weren’t exactly the perfect accompaniment to a hearty appetite.
James placed his fork down on the table and leaned back in his chair, mouth full of food. “We gotta do this again, buttercup?”
“I just need a minute.”
“I thought we had a deal.”
“We did,” a bolt of inspiration struck as you realised it was your turn to get a little something interesting out of this relationship, “but I want to change it up a bit.”
“Alright, go on.”
“I’ll eat if you tell me the most insane thing that’s happened to you while bodyguarding.”
“I really shouldn’t talk about that.”
“Shame,” you dramatically pushed your plate away with a flourish, “I was actually feeling pretty hungry.”
He considered, glaring at you from beneath an arched eyebrow and rhythmically tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair. “Fine, but you gotta finish the whole plate.”
“The whole plate.”
“Alright.” 
He leant forward again and carried on eating so you followed suit, forcing down one small bite at a time and just hoping that his story would be worth the pain.
“So, one time some rich dude hired me ‘cause his daughter was worried she had a stalker. Apparently she kept seeing someone in a black hoodie following her around, she even saw ‘em standing on their lawn a few times. Thing is, no-one else had ever seen it. I think half the reason I was hired was to figure out if she was just going crazy.”
“Was she?”
“Be patient, pumpkin. You’ll find out.” Your cheeks flushed a little when he called you that. “A couple weeks passed and I hadn’t seen anything. Then, middle of the night, everyone else was asleep and I was doing my rounds. I looked out the window to the yard and there was someone standing underneath her window in a black hoodie.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. So, obviously, I sprinted down there, but they spotted me and started running. They vaulted the fence and I would’a lost ‘em in the trees but they got snagged on the other side. I grabbed ‘em, pulled down the hood and-” He eyed the huge fork-full of food you were hovering by your mouth, “you wanna eat that?”
You rolled your eyes, shoved it all in your face and let out a muffled plea. “And?”
“It was her, the daughter.”
“Fuck off.”
“Dead serious. Turns out one of her friends had a stalker and was getting a load of sympathy and attention because of it, so she got jealous and made up one of her own. She figured if I saw it just once everyone would believe her.”
“That’s so fucked. Is that even legal?”
“No idea, not my job. I got my paycheck and left the next morning.”
“Nice to know you really care about your clients.”
He laughed. “Most of my clients are spoiled assholes who never even bother to learn my name.”
“Really? Can’t be hard to learn a name as simple as Justin.” You received your second unamused scowl of the day. “Anyway, we spoiled brats have enough on our plate without having to learn the name of the person willing to take a bullet for us.”
“Nah, you’re not spoiled.”
“You think?”
“Trust me, I’ve seen spoiled. You’re not spoiled. I think you’re the only client I’ve actually enjoyed talking to.”
Interesting. Probably shouldn’t delve into that statement too deeply.
“I’d take that as a compliment but it sounds like there isn’t much competition.”
He smirked, staying silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “My friends call me Bucky, by the way. I prefer it to James. And I really prefer it to Justin.”
“If you insist,” you shrugged, “but I still think you’d make a good Timberlake.”
---
You managed to stomach a good amount of food that day and you even had a good stab at breakfast when the next day rolled around, so you hoped that Bucky might leave you to your own devices for a while now he’d got his own way.
He did not.
As soon as you’d swallowed the last mouthful of toast he announced that he was going to take you on a walk around the garden.
You looked from him to your stomach, then back at him. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. We’ll take it slow, one step at a time, and it’ll make you feel better. I promise.”
“Can’t we just open a window?”
“Nope.” He slapped his hands down on the arms of the chair and jumped to his feet. “C’mon sweetheart, you know I’m just gonna annoy the hell out of you until you agree.”
“Is threatening me allowed in your contract?”
“It’s not a threat. It’s persuasion with consequences.”
You eventually relented. He was super keen to get going but it soon became clear that he’d overestimated how far along the healing process you were, it took the two of you almost an hour just to get out of your bedroom and down the stairs with all the constant stopping for breath. Bucky went ahead and pulled open the sliding glass door, your mood instantly lifting when the first breeze of fresh air washed over you. You were starting to hate how often he was right. 
He offered you his arm and set a bench on the other side of the lawn as your goal. The neatly mowed grass felt soft between your toes, the faint sounds of birds and planes overhead helping you relax a great deal more than the constant background noise from the TV you’d kept switched on for weeks now. When you reached your goal, Bucky helped you lower yourself onto the seat and carefully squeezed himself beside you once you were settled. Sitting this close to him felt strange, you were used to him being confined to his armchair, and the bench was a pretty small one. His thigh was pressed up against yours. You tried not to think about it.
Deeply inhaling the smell of grass and flowers into your lungs made you feel like a new person but it was also making you a little drowsy, the journey down had zapped all your energy and the warmth from the morning sun was cosy and soothing. 
The next thing you remembered was your head being gently nudged, prompting your eyes to flicker open. 
“Sorry, princess. I’d let you sleep for hours but I really need to pee.”
You came to your senses and felt the crook of Bucky’s neck against the top of your head. His arm was around you, hand gently resting on your shoulder. 
“Shit, sorry.” In your embarrassment you sat up a little too quickly, wincing at the pain that shot through your stomach. 
“You alright?”
“Oh, yeah. Just, y’know, the ol’ bullet would.” You laughed off his concern and waved him away. “Go pee.”
“Alright, I’ll just be a minute, don’t move.”
“Couldn’t if I wanted to.”
He was already sprinting across the lawn when he shouted back. “That’s the spirit, sunshine.”
You shot a giddy grin at the back of his head. It still felt like morning but you had no idea how long you’d been knocked out for, you just knew you could very easily spend every night resting in Bucky’s neck like that.
---
Your shadow had been with you for about a week now and, contrary to all initial expectations, you’d actually been enjoying his company. He could be annoying as hell with his constant demands pushing you further and further when all you wanted to do was melt into the couch, but you could see that he was good for you. You supposed that being forced to spend every second of every day with someone gave you no choice but to recognize their good qualities. Thankfully, he seemed to have a lot of those. 
Elaine had just collected the dishes from lunch and Bucky had somehow stolen the remote from you. He flicked on some appallingly trashy reality show, your concentration faded in and out but every time you forced yourself to pay attention someone was either screaming or necking. 
You’d barely even registered the knock at your bedroom door when he jumped up and launched himself towards it like the diligent little soldier he was. You listened intently, your stomach turning when you heard Carol’s voice interspersed with his. Hopefully he’d assess her as a security threat and slam the door in her stupid face.
To your great disappointment, he did not. 
“Oh my,” she looked a little more like a painted old hag than a pantomime dame today, “who is that and where can I get one?”
“That’s James, dad hired him to keep an eye on me.”
“Do you know which agency he’s with?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t uncle Frank leave you the house and the security guard in his will?”
“Ugh, yes but he could’ve been a bit more thoughtful. I’d rather not have to look at that beer belly every time I drive through the front gate.”
“I see.”
You tried to plead for help from Bucky with your eyes but he was too busy giving a confused look to the back of her embroidered jacket, the one that you were convinced had been made from old curtains and lampshade tassels. She placed herself down in his seat, leaving him bewildered, turning on the spot like a glitched out video game NPC. He eventually just sat beside you. 
“So,” she crossed her veiny old legs, “did you like the present I brought you before?”
You did not like the present she brought you before. It was a self help book whose blurb encouraged you to 'break free from your own mental cage' and 'start being the best version of you'. That mindset is incredibly toxic, Carol. Therapists and antidepressants exist for a reason, Carol. Not everyone can make themselves feel better by getting sloppy wine drunk on their dead husband's money every evening, Carol.
“Yeah, it was great. Thanks.”
“I knew you'd love it, so I brought you something else.” She scurried around in her comically oversized purse for a while before pulling out a small white tub. “It's that miracle balm I told you about, for the scar.” 
She noiselessly mouthed the word scar and covered the side of her mouth so Bucky couldn't see, like it was a dirty word, like she couldn't bear to think of the handsome man in the room knowing about such an ugly thing. 
“Oh right, thanks but I'm not really supposed to put anything on it while it's still healing. Could get infected.” 
“No honey, if you let that thing heal on its own you'll regret it, trust me.”
“Well, the doctor said-”
“Baby, look at me.” The legs became uncrossed as she leaned in. “I'm going to be honest now because I love you. Your body is a five out of ten, maybe a six if you did a cleanse.” 
“Right…”
“Now, with this hideous thing sitting on your stomach, you're down to a three. I don't want that for you, do you?”
You were speechless for a second. The words fuck off were just beginning to form in your mouth when she cut you off, turning her attention to the equally pissed looking Bucky.
“How about a man's perspective, hmm? You wouldn't want a partner with something so ghastly on them, would you?”
The calmness with which he answered her was pretty impressive.
“Well, to be honest, I couldn't give a fuck, cause I tend to rate personality higher. Like you, for example, are two out of ten but with a few lessons in grace and courtesy, I could see you moving up to a solid five.”
Your mouth fell open. The breath hitched in your lungs as your eyes flicked between the two of them, one looking outraged, the other looking very fucking pleased with himself. The silence was tense. 
After a few seconds she leapt up and stormed out of the room, her heels rapidly clicking against the floor while she screeched your father's name. 
Bucky just shrugged at you. “Guess her own medicine didn’t taste too sweet.”
“That was amazing.”
“I'm used to dealing with assholes like that,” he followed her lead, standing up and heading for the door, “but, unlucky for her, I'm in charge of who gets access to this room.”
“You can ban her?”
“If I think she's causing you harm I can do whatever I want.”
“You’re my new favourite person.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
He’d been gone for a while when some muffled shouting started downstairs. Too invested in the situation not to investigate, you decided to slide yourself off the couch and press your ear to the floor in an effort to make out the words. It didn’t work, obviously, and you soon realised there was no way in hell you’d be able to hoist yourself back up again. You just had to wait on the ground while your dignity slowly drained away piece by piece.
Bucky eventually returned, predictably freaking out when he spotted you.
“Shit, what happened? Did you fall?”
“No I kinda… slid.” He gave you a puzzled look while lifting you back onto the couch. “Sorry, I was trying to hear the argument. What happened?”
“She won't be bothering you again.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Can I keep you forever?” You rested your head against the couch cushions. “I’ll let you watch as much trash TV as you want.”
“Don't threaten me with a good time.”
---
A week passed and then another, and with each day you were achieving more and more. Bucky had you showering every day, eating three square meals and taking increasingly lengthy walks around the garden- when your painkillers were doing their job. He’d even spoken to your father about making sure everyone in the house waited for a response after knocking on your door. It sounded like an insignificant thing but you really valued every ounce of privacy you could get your hands on, and it did wonders for improving your mood. 
Another thing that was helping in that regard was spending most of your downtime just talking with him. On more than a few occasions you’d actually forgotten he was being paid to stick around, it felt more like you were hanging out with an old friend. 
Sometimes it felt like you were hanging out with more than a friend but, every time those feelings started to surface, you quickly pushed them back down into the dark depths in your mind. Acknowledging them would just set you up for inevitable disappointment. 
Today, you’d agreed to leave your father’s property for the first time since the incident. Bucky had offered to take you out for a coffee as a soft reintroduction back into the normal world. He drove you out in his ridiculously oversized SUV, passing plenty of perfectly good coffee shops so he could show you his favourite one. It didn’t look like anything special but you trusted him. 
He helped you to one of the outside tables, took your order and shuffled inside, giving you a wink over the top of his sunglasses. You rested your hands on the table and glanced around. The street was busy with people and cars and most of the other tables were full, it was midday so you figured most of them were working people taking their lunch breaks.
Then, just for a second, out of the corner of your eye you saw someone in the street stop. Looking over, you made brief eye contact with them before they checked their watch and continued walking. Why were they looking at you? Your eyes darted around the other faces passing by, your panic starting to rise when another of them looked your way. 
You grabbed onto the edge of the table, your palms prickling with sweat. The quickening pace of your heart made it harder and harder to pull breath into your lungs, all the muscles in your legs started to tense and your vision blurred at the edges. 
“You okay?”
Two takeout cups were hastily abandoned on the table in front of you and a soothing hand landed on your back, Bucky’s face trying to make its way into your line of sight.
“Mhmm.”
“I told you not to bullshit me. What happened?”
“Nothing, really. I just-” You pulled in a stuttering breath. “Need to adjust.”
“Pretty hard to do that when you’re mid panic attack, no? C’mere.”
He turned you round to face him and took you through some breathing exercises, helping you get back in control. The worst of the storm eventually passed but you were pretty shaken up, and he could tell.
“Maybe this was too soon.”
“No, this is good. It probably would’ve happened even if we'd waited longer. Better to get it out of the way.”
“And what if the coffee had taken another ten minutes? You would’a just passed out while I was waiting for fucking milk to foam.”
He seemed angry, but not at you. 
“It’s okay, Buck. Really. I could’ve been hit by a truck on the walk over from the car but wasn’t, so why worry about it.”
“Still, we should get you somewhere less crowded,” he took you by the hand, which was unusual, cause he usually just guided you with a flat palm on the back, “probably should’ve started with that.”
You headed back to the car, Bucky somehow juggling you along with two hot drinks, and drove a few miles out of the city. He said he knew of a short, flat hiking trail out in the woods that was only ever busy on weekends. It wasn’t exactly the reintroduction into society that the two of you had planned but, at the very least, it was a step above walks around the yard. 
He calmed down once you began walking, the jolly, laid back, Bucky that you were used to quickly resurfacing. It was a huge relief, him being on edge made you on edge and that wasn’t exactly the optimum mood for avoiding another panic attack. 
He kept a firm arm around you most of the way, anchoring you to him and protecting you against potential falls. You were pretty sure they were the only reasons.
“I must look fucking dreadful,” you chuckled, “if we bump into anyone they’ll probably think you just found me in the woods.”
“Shut up, you look great.”
“For a three-week-old corpse.”
“A corpse wouldn’t argue back so much.”
“I’m just keeping you on your toes.”
“Damn right you are.”
You smiled to yourself, hearing the warmth in his voice, and decided now was a good time to finally ask him a question you’d been thinking about for a while.
“So, you’ve really never had another client you’ve enjoyed talking to? Not even one?”
“Not that I can remember.” He shrugged slightly. “Why are you so surprised, anyway? We both know how many assholes there are out there.”
“True. I just think you’re easy to talk to, I guess. I’m surprised no-one else made the effort.”
“That’s sweet of you doll, but you should know that just letting me sit by you was completely new for me. I usually don’t even get a chair, never mind a conversation.”
“Brutal. I’m glad the shelter rehomed you with us.”
“Me too.” 
You laughed for a second before realising that all this talking had used up your pitiful lung capacity. You came to a stop, Bucky quickly moving to stand in front of you. 
“Something wrong?”
“No, I could just use a break.”
“Take as long as you need,” he placed his hands on your upper arms, “we can sit for a while if you want.”
“I’m good.”
Without thinking, you placed both hands on his chest to steady yourself, immediately realising that it was kind of a weird thing to do. Your eyes shot up to his but he was just smiling softly, seemingly unbothered. 
The two of you held that position for what felt like an age. 
Then, slowly, cautiously, his hands moved down to rest on your lower back, just above your hips. He stepped in closer and your hands tensed, grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt. He lowered his head, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips met yours. You eagerly reciprocated, curling a hand around the back of his neck in a feeble attempt to keep him there as long as you could. It fell, however, when he abruptly pulled away, your arms going limp at your sides.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay, I-”
“It’s not. Jesus, I’m supposed to be looking after you.” He rubbed his eyes. “We should get back.”
“Can you just wait for a second? I’m not-”
“No.” He was stern, he’d never talked to you like that before. “We’re going back to the car, now.”
You were too shocked to argue. The walk back was tense and the drive home was the same, you looked over at him a few times but his stony expression encouraged you to keep quiet. You knew you hadn’t done anything wrong, and neither had he in your eyes, but you really had to keep reminding yourself of that. It felt like you’d committed a crime. 
Once home, you headed up to your room but he didn’t follow, which was unusual. When your father knocked on your door later and told you that Bucky had removed himself from duty, you weren’t surprised. He claimed that a big job had come up out of nowhere. 
He never even said goodbye.
---
You hadn’t so much as heard from Bucky since he left over a month ago. You’d maintained all his rituals and kept your healing process on track, adapting your daily walks so you could do them alone, sticking nearby walls and railings. It was a real struggle, emotionally and physically, but you were determined not to let him abandoning you knock you off course. You didn’t even let yourself cry when he left. You were just angry. 
So, naturally, when a chance for you to prove to yourself how far you’d progressed without him came around, you jumped at it. A friend of your father’s was throwing a birthday party for his daughter, you’d never been able to stand her but you hadn’t had a proper drink since the incident- and the booze there would be insanely expensive stuff. Plus, you’d been pining for any excuse to wear something other than pyjamas.
You strolled into the party, arm in arm with your father, and you felt good. You felt ready to be there. That was, until you saw who was working security detail. You barely recognised him in the full black bodyguard suit, you were so used to a t-shirt and jeans, but it was definitely him. Your evening was instantly ruined as you started mentally plotting the best way to avoid him.
You decided a good first step was to head straight to the bathroom to compose yourself, giving yourself the same pep talk in the mirror that you’d given the day after he left. You’d come too far to let him fuck up your first big outing. You dabbed the nervous sweat from your upper lip, adjusted your outfit and gave yourself a nod. You could do this. You just needed to stay away.
Wandering back into the party, you looked around for your father, the only person in the room you had any interest in talking to. You heard your name being called over the music and turned towards it. There he was, standing beside Bucky, beckoning you over. 
So your plan was fucked, then. 
Your stomach tightened. You grabbed a drink from a nearby table and moved over reluctantly.
“There you are. Listen, James was just telling me about the big job he was called to, it sounds incredibly interesting.”
“Oh, really?” 
You took a big gulp of champagne, wondering if Bucky’s fictitious story was as good as the real one he’d told you over breakfast that time. Or maybe that one was all made up, too. You glanced over and accidentally caught his eye for a second, but he quickly broke away and looked back at your father. 
“I probably shouldn’t go into any more detail.”
“Of course not, I wouldn't want you getting in trouble.” You involuntarily scoffed at your father’s words but managed to play it off as a cough. “It’s such a shame, though. You two seemed to really be getting on well together.” 
Your father looked back and forth between the two of you like he was watching a tennis match, unaware of how painfully awkward the lingering silence was. You finished off your champagne and grabbed a fresh glass from a passing waiter, looking around the room for any excuse to leave this conversation. Unfortunately, your father found one first. 
“Ah, there’s the birthday girl, I’d better go pass on some well wishes. I’ll leave you two to catch up.”
You cringed as he walked away. Quickly deciding that it was better to not even attempt conversation, you just silently nodded at Bucky and turned to leave. You didn’t get far, however, as he grabbed hold of your arm and stepped towards you. 
“Can we talk?”
You were incredibly shocked but tried to play it off. “I guess."
“In private?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you glared down at his hand, “but I would like it if you let go of my arm.”
“Sorry.” 
He released his grip and you took a small step away, putting a safe distance between your faces. You were still pissed off at him, that much was for sure, but you weren’t ready to trust yourself being in such close proximity to him again. Anything could happen. 
“I get why you’re pissed at me, I would be too. I just need to explain.”
“I know why you did what you did, Buck. You don’t need-”
“Please. Someone’s taking over my shift in ten minutes, will you meet me upstairs?”
“Upstairs? Like, past the rope with the big no guests allowed sign?”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to sneak past,” he smirked slightly, “I heard the security here sucks.”
He was right, too. You got up there with absolutely no trouble whatsoever. 
All of the doors off the hallway were closed apart from one, at the very end. You took a gamble and slowly approached, peeking your head round to see Bucky perched on the edge of a huge bed. He shot up when he spotted you in the doorway.
“Sorry, I know this is kinda weird, it's the only room that wasn’t locked or, y’know… occupied.”
“Lovely.”
He nodded and gave you a smile. “You look great. Amazing, actually. How are you feeling?”
“Better,” his smile melted you a little, “mostly thanks to you.” 
“Ah, you would’a been fine, I just annoyed you into being fine a bit sooner.”
You nervously rubbed the back of your head, in disbelief at how quickly he’d broken through your thick wall of resentment. You scrambled around trying to gather up some of the bricks and rebuild but being in the presence of that slick motherfucker was making it really difficult. 
You gathered your thoughts, took a breath and spoke. 
“Buck, like I said downstairs, you don’t need to explain. Obviously making out with your clients is a fireable offence, I get that, so you had to leave. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“You think I left ‘cause of that? You think some shitty job is more important to me than you?”
“I mean, yeah, kinda.”
“Jesus, I really am an asshole.” You gave him a confused frown as he reached out and took both of your hands in his. “Look, I couldn’t give a shit about this job, there’s bodyguarding positions everywhere and most of them don’t involve babysitting rich assholes. I left ‘cause I felt like I’d taken advantage of you. I couldn’t stand it.”
“Huh?”
“You were in a bad place. You were vulnerable and I was supposed to be looking after you, not- y’know...”
“Sucking face?”
He chuckled. “Yeah.”
“Right, but you do remember that I’m not a child, yeah? Just because I’m feeling shitty doesn’t mean I can’t make decisions for myself.”
“But it does mean your judgement is at least a little impaired.”
“Fine, whatever, but it isn’t anymore.” You squeezed his hands. “And I’m telling you now as a fully sane, rational adult that you didn’t do anything wrong. Alright?”
A relieved smile spread across his face. “Alright.”
“Good, cause I made a decision and I’m sticking to it.
“Might be a bad decision.”
“Sometimes bad decisions are more fun.”
“You can say that again.”
Your second kiss with Bucky was, somehow, even better. He was more sure of himself this time, less cautious, he moved in quicker. You did the same, wrapping both arms around his neck and letting him take some of your weight. You felt him smile against you as a hand dived into the back of your hair.
Now this was a kiss worth being fired for. 
He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. “For the record, the first time wasn’t a mistake. It was a… happy accident.”
“Whatever you say,” you chuckled, “I’m just glad we bumped into each other again.”
“Oh, we didn’t. I took this job after checking the guestlist.”
“You sneaky fucker.”
“You know it.”
---
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winterarmyy · 1 month
Text
18+ thoughts about bucky ahead:
is it just me or do anyone else have been thinking of...
"a period/fantasy fic where reader, the daughter of a somewhat middle to high class earl family, is forced into an arranged marriage with an illegitimate son of the duke, Bucky. She is soft and quiet, and he is rumoured to be this big, scary, beasty man that does not fit in high society and meant to be a weapon for war (because they do not view illegitimate children as human being). She never met him until the day of their wedding. And believing the words of the people, she was scared and literally shaking as she walked down the aisle. Refusing to look into the eyes of the blood-thirsty beast until the moment when the priest announced their solemnization. When Bucky lifted her veil, and that was when she first laid eyes on him. Yes, he is huge, compared to anyone in the church tbh, and gruff-looking with his somewhat untamed beard, and his long hair but damn he is undeniably handsome. His eyes were so blue, almost mesmerising that she just stood there, eyes wide, blinking slow. What he did next was something that caught her by surprise; he kissed her on the lips. Softly, gently. Very much opposite of what she was expecting. Then, he surprised her yet again on their first night. Everyone, including the maids, was putting their bets about how she will be covered with bruises from how rough and animalistic he would fuck her. Honestly, (shamefully) she thought so too. Then, the next morning when the maids came in to wash her up, every single one of them temporarily froze in their spot from what they saw. Her skin was indeed bruised but each one of them were love marks, not marks that's caused by 'abuse'. The traces of Bucky's possessive love were prominent all over her neck, chests, inner thighs that not only she was blushing but the maids were too. It turns out it was true that Bucky was beastly; I mean, he could not stop thrust his cock inside her; he was simply unable to stop pumping every drop of his cum in her womb. He is absolutely feral when he lapped and drooled on her pussy. Manhandling and putting her in every position you could imagine and made her cum at least twice in each position. While she was in complete bliss, walking around the flower garden, thinking that she would have a happy married life with her husband, Bucky watched her from the window of his office with a sombre glaze over his eyes."
why is he looking at her like that? i guess we never know because this fic does not exist 😭 anyway, don't mind me. as you were 🥲
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cosmicbucky · 5 months
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verity
summary: an inadvertently broken heart and a girls' night in can only lead to one thing: you drunkenly confronting the very man who broke your heart in the first place - aka your best friend, bucky barnes pairing: bucky barnes x female reader word count: 3253
warnings: angst, alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk with friends, pet names, sad bucky, sad reader, drunk confessions, swearing, misunderstandings, reader gets sick (vomit), fluff, kinda friends to lovers (??)
《《《《 ♡ 》》》》
The music flowed through the living room around you, quiet enough to not overpower the conversations you were having with your friends, but loud enough for you to know what you were swaying in your seat to. 
It had been a while since you had a girls' night, though you were all but forced into this one; it was made clear by Nat that your presence was not an option - you were the only reason you were all gathered here now, each of you at least a bottle or two in. 
At first you resisted. You wanted nothing more than to wallow alone in your room, watching trash TV and crying over cheesy scenes. It wasn't that you didn't love the company you had right now, you just wanted other company. You wanted the same company you had every day for the last year. The same company that became your only solace ever since it took a literal bullet for you without thought just to keep you safe. The same company that read your favourite books so you had someone to talk to about them. The same company that sat with you and watched all your favourite shows so they could get a better glimpse of who you are and what you like. The same company you thought you were finally getting somewhere with. 
It felt like you got hit by a truck when the words "You know Bucky's been dating?" nonchalantly left Sam's mouth one day while you were having lunch. You didn't want to know more about it. You didn't want to know who they were, how the two met, or what they did for a living. You didn't want to be told anything other than the fact Sam was joking, that what you thought you had with Bucky really was real and not just in your head. Sam never said anything close to that, though. 
Bucky never brought up the dates to you, and you almost felt that was even worse than if he did. Why did he not want to tell you? Were you really not as close as you thought? Did he not trust you enough to tell you such a thing? Your thoughts continuously spiraled over the next few days, stealing away your self confidence and the air from your lungs. Nothing was the same anymore. You thought you knew where you stood with Bucky. You thought it all meant something. All the stares from across the room, the lingering touches, the 'just because' gifts, the movie nights, the sleepovers, all of it. But it meant nothing. You read it all wrong. And now it's been two weeks since you were able to look at him long enough for you to even say hi to him, let alone have a conversation with him. 
Bucky noticed the shift the moment it happened; when you slid ever so slightly away from him when he tried to hold you in his arms like he did every movie night. He noticed when the smile stopped reaching your eyes. He noticed when you stopped showing up for dinners with the gang every night. He noticed when you couldn't hold his gaze anymore. He noticed that you two just weren't the same, and it killed him. It killed him because he didn't know what he did, and he tried everything under the sun to get things back to the way they were, but nothing worked.
Everyone noticed when his demeanor changed. His fuse was shorter, his temper was stronger. He spent even more time in the training room, pummeling and destroying bag after bag until his knuckles were bloody; letting himself heal overnight only to do it all again the next day. He shamelessly threw a dining chair into a wall when Tony made a joke about how you must have smartened up and finally got sick of him, and his expression was so murderous that a Code White was called, effectively resulting in him being locked down in his room for a full 24 hours - he ended up staying in there even after the lockdown was over. The only reason he started leaving the confines of his room was to spend time with his best girl, and he didn't have that anymore.
All your friends were sick of it. They didn't know what was going on, and you both refused to talk about it. No one could even mention the others' name to either of you anymore without fear of having the nearest object thrown at their head. 
So plans were formed, and you now sat on the couch with a glass in your hand as you mindlessly swayed to whatever song was currently playing. 
"Who is in charge of this music? It is awful!" Yelena stated from her spot on the floor, taking yet another shot. 
"I picked it," you crooned, stilling your movements as you looked at her. "It's completely free of attachments to you-know-who."
A cohesive muttering came from all the women before you, and Yelena cleared her throat. "It is not bad," she corrected with a grimace, taking pity on you. 
"Are you drunk enough to tell us what happened now?" Nat asked, raising an eyebrow at you. 
Downing the rest of your glass, you looked at her with a thoughtful expression for a minute. "No," you concluded, filling your glass again. 
"Okay, this is torture. Time for a drinking game!" Wanda exclaimed, standing from her chair. "Everyone take a mustache and tape it to the TV. We're putting on a trash show and drinking whenever it lines up with someone."
You beamed with excitement, ready to both watch crappy TV and get drunk - gods know you needed at least one night to forget about Bucky. 
And forget you did. You can't remember the last time you were this far gone, the last time you had this much fun. The drinking game was very successful; it even got Yelena and Nat a little tipsy, which was not easy to do. No one said anything when you went a little harder than everyone else, when you drank a little more, taking shots when you weren't technically supposed to. You haven't smiled like this in weeks, and they weren't going to take that away from you. 
Your giggles carried on down the hallway, the echoes of your voice, of your laughter, music to everyone's ears - having gone so long now without hearing it. It captured someone's attention, socked feet being dragged towards the sound before even knowing what was happening, a seat being taken in the kitchen just to be that much closer, eyes gazing across at you, a face with such an amorous expression it would have made anyone who saw it sick. 
You audibly gasped as you caught sight of him, your eyes meeting his for the briefest of seconds before he looked away, contemplating whether he should go back to his room or not. 
"Oh, my god. Why is he here?" you asked the girls, unable to take your eyes off of him. 
"Why is who here?" Kate asked, following your gaze. "Him? What are you talking about he-"
"We don't know!" Nat chimed in, sending a warning glare to Kate that you were too distracted to see. 
"Why don't you go talk to him and find out?" Wanda suggested, quickly catching on to Nat's motive. 
You shook your head vehemently, making yourself momentarily dizzy. "Noooo. He broke my heart, Wan. What would I even say?" you replied with a whine, sinking into the couch as you lifted the glass to your lips again. 
She shared a look with Nat, two looks that said 'fuck, maybe we shouldn't let her do this' and 'what the hell does she mean by that?' You couldn't decipher either, though. The blood was rushing in your ears as you stared across the room again, torn between going to confront this beautiful, asshole of a man and staying in the comfort of the living room.
Before you could really think it through - and in your state, it's not like you really could anyway - you abruptly stood from the couch, taking a few seconds to steady yourself on your feet. 
"Fuck him," you muttered to yourself, vaguely aware of the girls trying to get your attention as you marched across the floor. 
His head snapped up when he heard you coming, his enhanced hearing paired with the fact you weren't exactly in a graceful state didn't give you the advantage of sneaking up on him. 
"Hi, doll," he said once you approached him.
Had you been in a more collected frame of mind, you probably would have noticed how quiet his voice was, how strained it was from the fact he was holding his breath in the hopes the two of you would go back to normal. You would have noticed the pain, the hurt, the confusion, and the hope dancing around in his eyes; making the blue that used to be your favourite colour now dull and stormy. 
You didn't notice, though. All you noticed was the burning pain in your heart that was supposed to be gone after all those drinks, but just one look at the man before you brought everything back. 
"You can't call me that anymore," you declared, shaking your head so much it made the room spin even more. "You gotta keep that name reserved now," you added bitterly. 
"Reserved?" Bucky asked, his brow knit together in confusion. "For who?" 
You scoffed, walking forward to close the distance that was left between you and the table he sat at. A few steps in and you lost your footing, but before you could even stumble Bucky was already out of his seat. His hands were on your arms in an instant, the feeling of hot and cold both burning your skin in a familiar way. The tenderness of his touch and the yearning you felt for it after all this time was almost too much to bear; your mind was spinning. Spinning from alcohol. Spinning from heartache. Spinning from anger. Spinning, spinning, spinning. 
"Let go of me!" you exclaimed angrily, shrugging yourself out of his grasp. "I don't think your little lover would want you touchin' me." 
Bucky could only stand there, blinking in surprise with his hands still outstretched. "My what?" he asked, his hands slowly falling back to his sides. "My lover?" he repeated. 
"Yeah, your lover - or… whatever the hell you want to call them. Sam told me, because you didn't," you told him indignantly. 
"I- what? Sam told you? Sam told you what?" he asked, more confused than ever. 
"That you're dating someone!" you yelled, the anguish clear in your voice. 
Bucky sighed and ran his hands over his face in exasperation before resting them on his hips, his lips pursed as he collected his thoughts. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he finally asked, trying to put the pieces together in his head. 
"Didn't expect me to know, did you?" you spat furiously. 
"I don't- sweetheart, what the hell is going on?" he asked softly, trying his best to remain patient. You were finally talking to him again, and it's definitely not the way he imagined but he'd be damned if he was going to let you slip through his fingers again. 
"No!" you said forcefully. "I'm not your sweetheart. She is. Whoever she is." 
"There is no ‘she’," Bucky told you calmly, trying his hardest to make sense of what was going on. 
"Okay, then he is!" you replied in defeat, finally throwing yourself down on the chair beside you. 
"What? No, that's not-" he tried to answer you, but you quickly cut him off. 
"Why didn’t you want to tell me?" you asked quietly, your voice cracking. 
“Because… I’m not dating anyone,” he replied slowly, more of a question than a statement. 
“Just stop lying!” you yelled, hands slamming onto the table. “Please, I can’t take you lying to me anymore, okay? You’ve been lying to me all year,” you added in desperation, your eyes starting to glisten with tears. 
“All year?” he asked, his voice quiet and shaky as he slid into the seat across from you. 
You could only nod your head, bottom lip trembling as the first tears started to fall down your cheeks. Bucky started burning from the inside out, wanting nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and kiss the tears away- but he couldn’t. So he stayed where he was, swallowing thickly as he willed himself not to start crying with you. 
“I never lied to you, you know that,” he said carefully. 
“You did, because this whole time you-... I really thought-... you made me think-” you couldn’t get the words out, falling silent as you tried to collect yourself.
Bucky instinctively reached his hands across the table to you before he caught himself, pulling them back and setting them on his lap. "What did I make you think?" 
"That you trusted me. That we meant something to each other," you explained softly, swallowing back more tears. "I thought you loved me back," you added, your voice so quiet it would have been inaudible to anyone other than him. 
"What?" Bucky breathed out, the air being stolen from his lungs with those last six words that spilled from your trembling lips. 
"I know you heard me." 
"Okay- now is not the time for this conversation," he sighed, running his hands over his face. 
You sat in silence for a moment, looking at him with such an recognizable expression Bucky felt like he was looking at a completely different person. "Figures," you muttered before shoving your chair back and standing up. 
"What are you doing?" Bucky asked, half out of his seat as he watched to make sure you were steady on your feet. 
Without another word to him, you turned and carefully started to make your way out of the kitchen and towards your bedroom. 
"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Bucky called from behind you, quickly on your heels. "No, you're not allowed to leave me like this again." 
"You left me first!" you yelled back, placing your hand on the wall to keep your balance as you walked a little faster. 
"I never left you once!" he argued, still hot on your trail. 
You scoffed, shoving open the door to your room and trying to slam it in his face; the attempt was unsurprisingly futile. "Stop following me, you said you don't want to talk."
"No, I said this isn't the time for this conversation," he huffed, shoving his way into your room and closing the door behind him. 
"Why? You don't want to admit what you did?" you asked, stumbling your way to sit on the bed. 
"For fucks sake, I didn't even do anything!" he defended with exasperation, leaning against the door.
"Yes you did," you argued, attempting to take off your sweater. 
"I'm telling you, I didn't," he told you, trying his best to not let out a laugh as he watched you struggle to lift the sweater over your head. 
"You did!" you yelled, voice muffled by the fabric. "You lied, and you kept secrets, and you - god, can you fucking help me?!" you asked with a huff, interrupting your own rant. 
Bucky suppressed his laugh as he stepped forward, kneeling down in front of you. "Alright, alright. Stop fuckin' squirmin'," he muttered. 
You stilled, muttering a few choice words under your breath that did not go unnoticed by him. Grasping the hem of your sweater, he carefully lifted it up and over your head to reveal your disheveled, pouting face. 
"There's my girl," he whispered softly, delicately brushing back your mussed hair. 
"I'm not-" you started to argue, before he quickly cut you off.
"Yes. You. Are," he said firmly, enunciating each word.
"But Sam-"
"Is an idiot," he insisted, cutting you off again. "He tried to set me up with someone but I never went. When he asked me about it, I told him we were gonna go out again so he'd stop fucking bugging me about it. I lied, sweetheart. I was never dating anyone." 
"You- there was no one?" you asked quietly. 
"There was no one else," he told you, his thumbs brushing away stray tears you didn't even know were falling. 
Before you could ask him what that meant, your room started spinning once more and your mouth felt like cotton and your stomach felt like it was making its way up your throat.
"I don't feel so good," you mumbled, staring at him with wide eyes for a moment before rushing to your bathroom, barely making it on time. 
Bucky was at your side in the blink of an eye, holding back your hair as you let loose the contents of your girls' night, his hand ghosting up and down your back. He sat patiently with you, muttering comforting words between each second of you getting sick as you gasped for air and sobbed, occasionally wiping your face with tissues. 
"Better?" he asked after a few minutes, his hands never leaving you. 
You could only nod in response, shifting away from him to rest against the bathtub as you closed your eyes. 
Bucky immediately fell into his old habits, wasting no time in taking care of you. The only thing that destroyed him more than not having you in his life lately was watching you practically wither away, unable to do a damn thing about it. 
"Drink, sweet girl," he told you, caressing your cheek in an attempt to rouse you before handing you the water you had no idea he even retrieved. 
You blinked up at him, taking a moment to process what was going on before taking the glass from him. As you drank he gathered up a washcloth, running it under cold water before kneeling before you once more. 
"C'mere," he whispered, taking your chin in one hand to hold you in place as he gently wiped your face. Your eyes closed once more, sighing in content as the cold water eased the burning under your skin. 
"I love you," you found yourself telling him. Your voice was a delicate whisper, but the words were so heavy you felt like they echoed off the tiles surrounding you anyway. 
Bucky stayed quiet, but you refused to open your eyes and look at him. Looking at him would make this moment real, so as long as you kept your eyes closed, you could pretend none of this ever happened. 
"Let's get you to bed," he finally said, causing your world to implode once more. 
Completely defeated, you allowed him to lift you from the floor. 
Not having the energy to fight him anymore, you cooperated as he helped you into some sleep clothes. 
Wanting to just hide away forever, you let him tuck you under the covers, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he slid in beside you, wanting to be there in case you got sick again.
The room was engulfed by silence for so long it almost felt like it was suffocating you, but just before your whirling mind finally succumbed to the allure of sleep you heard Bucky's gentle voice speaking out to you.
"Sleep this off, angel. Because when I explain to you how in love with you I am, I want to make damn sure you can remember what I say."
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wheredafandomat · 1 year
Text
Perfect Peach
Bucky x female reader (College AU)
18+ | contains smut, little bit of fluff
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“I’d rather be alone right now.” You spoke, glancing up at Bucky before looking back down, focusing on nothing in particular.
“Tough shit, scoot.” He answered, prompting you to move further across the couch. Thinking that all of your housemates would be away, you thought you’d be able to wallow in the sitting room alone but alas, Bucky had decided to cut his time away short. After seeing you storming through campus, he knew he couldn’t just leave knowing you were upset so he followed you home, letting himself in with his key before sitting next to you. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked, looking at you.
“No.”
“Okay.”
Taking a deep breath, you began to speak.
“I mean how could he Bucky?” You began, looking at him “how could he? I thought—I thought that he liked me.” You finished, voice breaking at the end. Instantly, Bucky knew you were talking about Brad, that underserving asshole. Hearing your voice wavering, Bucky turned his whole body towards you as you continued. “Am I not pretty enough? Am I just not enough?”
“Doll” Bucky sighed slightly, stroking some of your hair out of your face before cupping your cheek “you’re beautiful” he stated as your head melted against his hand before he moved it lower, his thumb moving over your lips “he doesn’t deserve you.” He concluded, thumb still tracing your bottom lip as your eyes met. Time seemed to have slowed in that moment of pure, content silence. The feeling of his thumb ghosting over your lips caused your heart rate to increase as you found yourself imagining what he’d do if you leant a little more forward, parting your lips before welcoming his finger inside. Would he shy away or welcome your advance? You shook the thought away, unsure where this desire came from.
“You’re just saying that.” You finally broke the silence, murmuring against his thumb as you wondered if he felt that too. That spark.
“No y/n” he insisted, shaking his head as his thumb moved from your lips towards your cheek, caressing you there “you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen” he affirmed “you know, when we first met, I was certain you were a bitch.” He chuckled slightly, breaking the tense moment as you gasped, hitting his chest “I’m being honest” he continued to laugh, catching your hand before holding it in his and looking down at your hands connected “you were so damn pretty so I thought yeah, she’s gotta be a bitch or some kind of mean girl but then you smiled at me, you spoke, we laughed and I realised in that moment that you—”
“Wasn’t a bitch.” You interrupted.
“Were special” he corrected, looking into your eyes again “you’re so special.”
“Stopp itt.” You giggled, closing your eyes.
“And if Brad can’t see that, well then, he doesn’t deserve you peach.” Bucky opined. You opened your eyes realising that you hadn’t even mentioned Brads name but when your gaze met Bucky’s intense one, your breath hitched. His tongue darted out, licking his lips quickly as his eyes bore into yours. He looked sexy, so incredibly sexy. You realised now that he had a little stubble on his face and you wondered how it’d feel against your inner thighs before internally cursing yourself at the thought. When his eyes dipped to your lips, you realised that your hand was still in his and he was drawing small circles over it.
“Yo-you’re special too Buck.” You uttered.
“Yeah?” He smiled coyly.
“Yeah.” You grinned.
Before you knew it, Bucky was leaning into you, pressing his lips to yours gently like it was a privilege to kiss you. He dropped your hand, both his hands finding your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. You parted your lips, welcoming his tongue as the kiss grew feverish. Bucky began pulling you on top of him until you were straddling him. You continued kissing him, rolling your hips against his as his hands found your waist. You felt him hardening against you as you continued your movements, hands finding the hem of his shirt before you pulled it up over his head, Bucky helping you and tossing it onto the floor. He began lifting your hoodie as you raised your arms, allowing him to pull it off. As soon as it was as forgotten as his shirt, his lips were roaming your neck, exploring your chest. He kissed between your breasts, nuzzling against them before he removed your bra. You stifled a moan as his tongue flicked over your nipple before moving to the other one and repeating the action. You arched your back towards him, hips moving on their own accord as he took one of the sensitive nubs into his mouth, sucking gently. You knew what this was leading to, it was inevitable. You had a deep seated hunger for Bucky and you couldn’t deny it anymore. From the moment you first met him, you knew you wanted to feel him.
“Do you have a condom?” You panted, looking down at Bucky as he released your breast.
“Yeah.” He nodded, pressing his lips to yours again before you rolled off of him and onto the sofa again, undoing the button on your belt. Meanwhile, Bucky was making his way onto the floor.
“What are you doing?” He questioned as he knelt.
“What, can’t let me at least taste the peach?” He smirked, licking his lips. A wide smile spread across your face as Bucky tugged your jeans past your ankles before lifting one of your legs and kissing his way up it, resting it over his shoulder. You widened your legs, Bucky’s lips moving up your thighs before he pressed a kiss against your clit, over your panties. You mewled in response, laying further back against the couch as he repeated his movement.
“Bucky.” You whimpered as his tongue darted out, nudging your clothed clit. You were already soaking and he hadn’t even come into contact with your bare heat yet. He continued his movements until your panties were damp, only then did he pull them to the side before wrapping his lips around your sensitive clit. “Buckyyy.” You moaned, hand finding its way to his hair as he circled your clit before suckling on it. You felt him humming against you, the vibrations shooting through your core. His stubble scratched your inner thighs slightly in a way that could only be described as thrilling. Your hips began rocking against his face gently as he brought you closer and closer to your orgasm, flicking your clit with his warm wet tongue. “Fuckk, I’m so closeee.” You warned, hips moving in circles as he wrapped his lips around your clit again, kissing it before you lost all composure, cumming on his face.
“Mm, soo good baby.” He praised, lapping up your arousal before lowering your leg.
You floated down from your high as Bucky pulled his jeans as well as his boxers down revealing his extremely hard length. Bending slightly, he lifted your legs so that they were positioned against his shoulders as he rolled the condom onto his cock. He was almost kneeling again, leaning over you as he lined himself up with your entrance before pushing inside of you slowly. You tried to cover your mouth to stop the loud moan threatening to spill from you as he bottomed out. You both cursed, the feeling of him inside of you was perfect, as if he was made for you. He pulled out of you before thrusting into you again, your already slick walls providing the perfect lubricant. He set a steady pace before he increased his thrusts.
“Oh my godd.” You moaned.
“Fuck y/n, gosh.” Bucky grunted, teeth bared as he fucked into you.
“Bucky don’t stopp.” You begged, reaching forwards before running your hand across his chiseled torso.
“So fuckin’ perfect, you know that peach. You’re perfect.” He groaned, hips slamming into yours.
“I’m sooo closeee.” You near sobbed as Bucky began rubbing your clit in fast circles.
“Cum baby, cum for me, you know you want to, cum for daddy.” He grinned, ploughing you faster before you came with a scream of his name, coating his length. Bucky continued his movements, chasing his own release as he guided you though yours. “I’m cummingg.” He exhaled sharply, reaching his peak before his thrusts became sloppy. Eventually he stilled, both of you panting as you came down from your highs. Your bodies were sweaty, clinging together as your eyes met. Bucky turned his head slightly, eyes still on yours as he kissed your ankle causing you to smile. He eventually lowered your tired legs before discarding of the condom. Meanwhile, your phone rang. Huffing when you saw the name, you declined the call before messaging.
“Who was it Peach?” Bucky asked, seeing your annoyance.
“No one important.” You insisted, kissing him.
Y/N: Delete my number Brad
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I think after seeing so much Sebastian Stan on my Twitter, my brain said I HAVE to write a Bucky oneshot 😂
People I think might enjoy:
@mochie85 @buckyalpine @peaches1958 @michelleleewise
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kikixreverie · 1 year
Text
Sweeter mornings
Roommate!Bucky x Female reader
Summary - After an intense night with your roommate, Bucky Barnes, you wake in his arms with the promise he had made to you only hours before playing on your mind, he definitely intends to keep it. Part 2 of sleepless nights.
Word count - 2.8k
Warnings - (18+) smut, oral (m receiving), p in v, friends to lovers, fluff.
A/N - Part 2 of sleepless nights is finally here! After many sleepless nights of my own I might add. Hopefully you all enjoy and it can live amongst it's famed sibling (my most liked/rebloged fic ever). Also this fic could probably be read alone if you haven't read part 1 but I still would recommend reading it for full context.
Sleepless nights (part 1)
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It was almost afternoon when you woke up. No loud alarm to jolt you awake, no rushing to get yourself dressed for work, it was still and calm, something you hadn't experienced much living in an apartment in Brooklyn.
You eyes fluttered open and closed, feeling rested for the first time in a long time, you'd finally slept longer than 5 hours in weeks, though well into the late morning as you could tell.
Thank god for weekends... and thank god for Bucky.
You peaked your eyes open at the reminder of him, and the reminder of what had occurred between you last night, and despite the soothing warmth that surrounded you, for a moment, you worried he would have already fled, but with a gentle tug of an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, your worries were mere worries.
Bucky had stayed.
You didn't let yourself dwell on what that could mean for the both of you, instead you snuggled into his warmth, resting your own hand on the metal one he had on your stomach, pushing away any insecurities and letting yourself enjoy this while you had it.
His legs were entangled with yours under the duvet, nose pressed against the nape of your neck, his other arm under the pillow you rested your head on. You were surrounded by him in the best possible way, that touch-starved part of you basking in the affection of his embrace.
Your eyes fluttered closed again, sinking into the bed when Bucky shifted behind you, his nose pressing against that sensitive spot below your ear, nuzzling slightly before kissing he kisses you there, soft and slow.
You couldn't help but release a pleased sigh, biting your lip when he continued his kissing, trailing his lips down your neck, then kissing your shoulder. You turned in his arms, facing him, and Bucky squeezed your hip in appreciation when you didn't waste any time with kissing him properly, placing your hand on his cheek to rub your thumb across his cheekbone.
Bucky shifted his hand to your thigh, grabbing above your knee to hitch your leg over his, effectively pressing your body against his, and you could already feel his arousal.
You almost felt guilty as you recalled last night, remembering that you had gone to sleep before returning the favour, leaving Bucky to deal with himself.
You wondered if he had managed to get himself off, but considering he had cuddled up to you last night in the same position you woke in, you doubt he had the chance. Which is why you didn't hesitate to push him onto his back, straddling his stomach as you kissed him harder.
You were both out of breath, lips kiss bitten and cheeks heated when Bucky pulled away from you, panting with his eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed.
You were in a similar state, though you tried to force down a smile when you realised that you had somehow managed to get a super solider out of breath, something you knew didn't happen often.
"I should get you some food, it's the afternoon." Bucky said in a raspy, unbelievably sexy, morning voice, the first words spoken since last night. He opened his eyes to look up at you, and you instantly recalled the image of his head between your legs last night, and huffed a laugh at the almost shy look he had on his face now.
"I'm not hungry." You replied, pouting slightly, shifting yourself backwards to sit further on his hips, your ass brushing against his hard cock still confined to his boxers, and a rush of air slipped past Bucky's lips, quickly reaching for your waist and holding you in place.
"Honey, I-" He stopped himself, getting distracted by the sight of your bare chest above him, before dragging his eyes back to yours again, his cheeks pinker. He licked his lips as he failed to regain his focus, furrowing his brows to try to seem more stern, "You need to eat."
"And I will, after you fulfil that promise you made to me last night." You reminded him, kissing his soft lips again, watching how his eyes fluttered closed and he lifted his head to follow your lips when you pulled back, desperate for it to continue. His hips lifted of the own accord from the mattress when you crawled down his body, trailing kisses as you went, just as Bucky had to you last night. You thought it only fair for you to torture him the same sweet way he did you.
You looked up at him when you reached his boxers, watching as he wet his lips with his tongue while you lowered yourself to kiss the dip between his abs, biting your lip in appreciation of the sight of the happy trail that led from his navel, down to where his boxers covered him.
You smiled up at him when Bucky finally lifted his hips slightly to let you slide them off.
God was he a pretty sight.
His cock was desperately hard, already leaking and a deep flush of red from the tip down, Bucky hissed at the sensation of the cool air alone against him, you could only imagine how sensitive he'd be for your tongue.
You gently took his cock in your hand, watching Bucky's face the entire time, not wanting to take your eyes away from him.
As you pumped him from base to tip, he instantly lifted his hips, whispering curses under his breath, you wondered how long it had been since he last came, by the sight of him, it was a while.
"You okay, Buck?" You asked sweetly, continuing to pump your hand on his length slowly, before rubbing your thumb across the slit at the tip, spreading his desire down his cock, using it to make the soft glide of your hand smoother.
He nodded, his lips parted, watching you with bated breath. You lowered your head closer to him, and Bucky fought with that desperate urge to lift his hips again, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth when you kissed the tip of him, and again, and again and again. Kisses peppered across his cock until he was practically begging.
"Please, honey."
You throbbed between your legs at the sound of him begging you, calling you honey with a voice sweeter than the stuff. You squeezed them together to relieve the ache before you gave him what he needed. How couldn't you?
He moaned when you finally took him into your mouth, teasing the tip of him with your tongue before taking him deeper and hollowing your cheeks around him, your own moan vibrating around his cock when his flesh hand found its way to your head, not forcing any movement, only encouraging you at your own pace.
His body seemed to be out of his control, and Bucky never expected that feeling not to fill him with fear, though in this moment, all he could focus on was the feeling of your hot, wet tongue against his cock, that lust in your eyes when you looked up at him through your lashes.
He didn't think much before he said it, just suddenly filled with the desperation to be as close to you as possible, to be inside of you, make up on that promise.
"Can I fuck you, sweetheart?" He asked, his voice still rough and his breath uneven. He let out another sweet sound when you swirled your tongue around him before pulling your mouth away, nodding in agreement as you quickly crawled back up his body and crashed your lips to his, Bucky's hand cupping your face as he leant up on his elbow, meeting you halfway, kissing you senseless as you situated yourself above his cock and reached between you to sink down onto him, already wet and throbbing with need.
Bucky's eyes rolled back as you slowly sank onto him, tight and wet and fucking perfect. His hand slid between your thighs to gently rub your clit, not wanting you to experience any discomfort, and you moaned against his lips, pressing your forehead to his when you were finally seated, Bucky's cock buried deep inside you.
"Fuck." He breathed, waiting patiently for you to start moving, and when you started rocking your hips, grinding yourself down against him, he smiled as he bit his lip, before he used his other hand to grip your jaw between his thumb and pointer finger, guiding your open mouth to his.
"Bucky-" You rasped, moaning as he teased his tongue into your mouth, his flesh hand still focused on rubbing your clit, his cock barely moving inside you, only keeping you nice and full.
"You close already, sweetheart?" He joked, though the words held no judgement, he was smitten with himself, pulling back to watch your face contort as you edged closer and closer to an orgasm, his fingers moving faster, your hips bucking against him, which only made his cock nudge a spot deep inside you that made you see stars. You were clenching around him and Bucky groaned as you did so. "C'mon honey, cum on my cock."
Your head tipped back as you fell over the edge, your orgasm washing over you in intense waves as Bucky guided you through it, rubbing your clit until it had passed.
"Good girl. You're so perfect, doll." Said Bucky, giving you a few more seconds to recuperate as he kissed down your neck.
When he pulled back to look at you again, that devious smile you had seen a glimpse of last night had returned to his face, and he wrapped an arm around your waist, his metal hand moving to your thigh, dimpling your flesh with the gentlest of squeezes. You almost asked him to squeeze harder.
You bit your lip at his words, huffing a laugh at the state of yourself as you came down from your high, though you were still incredibly hyper-aware of Bucky's cock still inside you, throbbing with need, along with your heart racing in your chest.
You were taken by surprise when he flipped you over, your back hitting the bed with him looming over you, pure, wanton lust in his blue eyes.
You moaned when the movement made the tip of his cock nudge against a spot inside of you that brought a jolt of pleasure, and Bucky seemed to appreciate the sound, watching you as he rolled his hips forward, so perfectly deep inside you.
"C'mon, Buck." You begged, that need for him to finally take you rising steadily in your core.
His eyes darkened and he took your wrists in his hands, pressing them into the mattress above your head with his right hand, as his left travelled to your chest, slowly rubbing your nipple with his thumb.
"You can ask me nicer than that, honey. C'mon pretty baby, say it again. Ask me better. Tell me what you want." He practically purred, his voice liquid honey. His head dipped to lick the nipple he hadn't yet paid attention too, looking up at you when he took it into his mouth, and you arched into his touch, every word that comes out of his mouth only building your desire.
With a mouth like that, you would do virtually anything he asked you to.
"Please, James. I need you to fuck me. God, please, I need it so bad." You whispered breathily, not even comprehending that you had called him by his first name, something you had never done, and he all but growled.
His lips were on yours instantly, tongue dipping past your lips as he finally released your hands and used his arm to wrap around your thighs, just about bending you in half as he finally began to thrust into you, starting slower than you knew he wanted to.
When you threw your head back and cried out at the satisfaction of it, Bucky knew he would be okay to fuck you harder, and before you knew it, his hips were slamming into yours hard, the friction of his cock rubbing against your walls and finding home deep inside you had you arching your body into him, your hands grasping his back, nails scratching into his skin, you almost felt like you would cum again already.
Bucky was just as much of a mess as you, sinful noises escaping past his parted lips, his eyebrows furrowed tightly as he chased his pleasure, dizzy with need, and enraptured with the feel of your hot, wet cunt clenching around him, a perfect fucking fit.
He couldn't help but watch you, your teeth holding your bottom lip, eyes closed.
He released your legs so that he could kiss you again, moaning into your mouth when your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling gently.
Holding himself up with his right arm, his left hand drifted to your chest again, cupping your breast as he tugged at your lip with his teeth, before gliding his thumb across your nipple, the gentle stimulation a perfect contrast to the way he fucked you harder than you ever knew you desperately needed.
You could barely keep yourself quiet, the experience of having sex with your roommate, whom you've been obsessing over for months, was beyond your comprehension. You knew Bucky had already ruined any prospect of another man, not that you would ever want another man anyway.
It was rough and needy, a sheen of sweat covering both of your bodies, almost feral but god knows the both of you needed it. There was still somehow a softness at the same time, the subtle touches felt just as intense as everything else.
Neither of you wanted it to end, but neither of you had much hope of holding out for much longer.
Bucky was already surprised he'd lasted this long, having technically accidentally edged himself last night, and with the way your mouth was on him earlier, he was absolutely intoxicated with your body.
"Fuck, you feel so good." Bucky husked, resting his forehead on yours so that you could both breath once you'd run out of air. You opened your eyes to meet his as he continued to fuck you into the mattress, your second orgasm creeping closer and closer. "Do you feel good, sweet girl? Look how good you take me, fucking perfect."
Your eyes fluttered closed, moaning at every sensation, gasping at his words, seconds away from coming undone, "James, please."
"Fuck, sweetheart, open your eyes. That's it, look at me, baby. Are you gonna cum?" He asked, though he knew the answer, your legs had wrapped themselves around his waist, your pussy clenching down on him perfectly. He certainly wouldn't be far behind.
You nodded, staring into those blue eyes with your own half lidded, your lips parted and kiss bitten, his metal hand held your jaw gently, only inches away from where he could be holding your throat instead, though you fought the urge you had to move his hand, knowing it might cross a line for him. That didn't stop you from imagining him doing it anyway, his hand wrapping around your throat, squeezing just enough to not be uncomfortable, but still make your heart beat faster in your chest.
Your orgasm hit you then, washing over you with an intensity you were learning apparently came with Bucky's touch. Your hips lifted to meet his, his cock so deep inside you as you clenched down on him.
Bucky came with a broken moan, rolling his hips into yours with deep, shallow thrusts, painting your walls with his cum.
It soothed a burning heat deep inside him, the both of you completely blissed out in the afterglow as you came down, catching your breath as his head dipped to rest on your collarbone.
Your hands were in his hair as he relaxed on top of you, though he still held most of his own weight as to not completely squish you.
"Fuck, Bucky." You breathed, smiling and shaking your head as you played with his hair.
He lifted his head and looked at you, that puppy dog look returning as though he hadn't just fucked you like his life depended on it only minutes ago.
"You okay?" He asked, chiding himself mentally that he hadn't checked up on you already, too lost in the ongoing sensations, and the fact that he was still inside of you.
You nodded, smiling, your fingers drifting to dust across his cheeks, tracing his features gently with your fingertips, the soft touches soothing not only Bucky but yourself too. He closed his eyes at the gentle touch, then kissed you, softer, but somehow more intense, and with something in his eyes when he pulled back that made you blush like you weren't naked beneath him.
"You're the best roommate ever." You joked, raising your eyebrows at him and holding his face in your hands, Bucky laughed softly.
"Well, I was hoping I could be something more than that?" He replied, tilting his head at you, smiling when you nudged your nose against his.
A part of you was still insecure, worried that he didn't like you in the way you did him, but another part of you told you to look at the way he was looking back at you, soft, sweet eyes, and his hands hadn't left your skin all morning, unable to tear them away. You'd both talk properly soon, and you were hopeful of how that conversation would go.
"Hm, I think that could be a good idea, Mr Barnes." You kissed him again, though he pulled away before you were done.
A smirk grew on his lips and the sight made your stomach flutter. He shifted impossibly closer to you. "You keep talking like that, sweetheart, and I'm gonna have to fuck you again."
His ability to switch between puppy dog and cocky bastard was definitely going to be something you were gonna have to get used to, but it wasn't something you didn't appreciate, you smirked all the same, fingers brushing through his soft hair, "You'd be more than welcome to... Mr Barnes."
He laughed quietly, "Oh I will, darling. Still gotta get some food into you first though."
You rolled your eyes playfully, though didn't disagree with him, your light dinner last night did not account for the intense cardio you did not expect yourself to be doing this morning. Nodding along to his words, you kissed him again, wrapping your limbs around his body to pull him as close as possible. You just couldn't get enough.
The kiss ended but Bucky stayed close, whispering against your lips, "If you're a good girl, I'll take you on the kitchen counter."
You couldn't have gotten out of bed and into the kitchen quicker, leaving Bucky smiling to himself in your bed.
2K notes · View notes
kinanabinks · 6 months
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stupid little girl
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18+
as the newly appointed ceo, you're desperate for your employees to like you. but you're young, dumb, and out of your depth - at least according to bucky barnes, who hates you more than anyone.
content warning: bucky x ceo!f!reader, reader is a nepo baby and bucky despises her for it, age gap (bucky's like 20 yrs older), enemies to fuckers, sexual tension, hate fucking, penetrative sex, cream pie, rough sex, man-handling, bucky takes all his anger out on you and doesn't care if he leaves bruises while doing so, dubcon, DEGRADATIONNNNNNNNN, mean mean mean bucky, no fluff!
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You timidly sip on the Pornstar Martini in your hand, scanning everyone as your eyes dart from left to right. Are they having fun? Are they glad you planned this? Is this the best team day they've ever had?
"This is the best team day we've ever had, ma'am," Peter says eagerly as he smiles up at you, his big brown eyes wide and desperate.
With an eye-roll, you sigh. "Go somewhere else," You order, which he quickly obeys.
If only they could all be as infatuated with you as Peter is. But ever since you were appointed as CEO of one of your mom's companies, you've felt a little out of place. You need them to love you, but with little experience as a boss, you have no idea how to win them over.
"What's Jerry talking about?" Your most outspoken employee, Bucky Barnes, suddenly calls out from beside you.
Looking up at him, you frown, pushing your sunglasses up onto your head. "Excuse me?"
Bucky hates you. It's no secret. Before you were given this job on a silver platter, the board was close to giving him CEO. The fact that he lost out to someone as young and stupid and inexperienced as you has left him bitter, and he doesn't bother hiding that from you. The nepotism dripping from your every move makes him seethe, but you do your best to pretend you don't notice.
"Jerry just said he's off the second week of December," Bucky iterates with a glare.
You tilt your head. "Yeah, so what?"
"So, what?" He repeats with disbelief, rage dripping from his tone. "That's three people in senior positions you've allowed to take time off just weeks before Christmas - are you insane, or just absolutely fucking stupid?"
Appalled by his words, you gasp. Nobody has ever dared to speak to you like that in your whole life. You let out a shaky breath, but before you can respond to him, he storms off inside the resort. With a huff, you stand up and race after him, preparing yourself to rip him a new one before firing him.
"Don't you dare walk away from me!" You yell as he turns into the changing rooms.
"Fuck off," He huffs, taking you aback.
"Stop taking to me like that!" You exclaim as he turns to face you.
"Or what, sweetheart?" Bucky asks you condescendingly. "You'll fire me?"
"Fuck yeah, I'll fire you!" You shoot.
"Too late. I quit," He spits.
"Are you forgetting who I am?" You ask with a dry laugh. "Who my mom is?"
He clenches his jaw and storms over to you before grabbing your arm. "I think about it every fucking minute," He reveals lowly. "I think about the fact that you're only in this job because your mom got fucked raw twenty years ago and didn't know how to raise a decent human being. You're only here because you didn't have enough brain cells to get a job your damn self. You were in college for all of six months and you spent that time getting spit-roasted by frat cock, trying your best to feel some kind of self-worth, to bring some kind of value to society - newsflash, honey, being a whore doesn't disguise the fact that you have next to zero worth. You are nothing more than a pretty face in high heels, and you're gonna run this company to the ground - but Mommy won't give a fuck because she's got a hundred others just waiting for you to bulldoze over."
Stunned, you say nothing. Your bottom lip quivers as you shake.
He lets out a scoff. "Fuck's sake. You gonna cry now? You can't tell me you've only just realized what a dipshit you are?" He asks you with a raised brow, before tightening his grip on your arm and pulling you closer and pulling at your bikini top. "Look at you. Just fucking look at yourself. Parading around in this tiny bikini, trying to make them like you. The only reason those guys show you any kind of respect is because they wanna fuck you. They wanna use your body because your mind sure as fuck ain't worth shit. No, don't cry about it, dummy. It's just the truth- and deep down, you know that. You know you're only worth anything when your holes are being used."
A whimper escapes your mouth.
Bucky brings his face closer to yours as he looks your body up and down. His eyes darken. "Mmm. You might have fucked up my career, but maybe I'll still get some use oughta ya," He grumbles, making your legs quake. "Yeah. Stupid little girls like you are only good for one thing; taking cock."
"James, what-"
"Shut the fuck up," He cuts you off coldly, before spinning you around and bending you over one of the benches. "Here. You should be grateful; I'm putting you to use. Giving you a sense of self-worth, huh?"
"You can't do this!" You exclaim, though you can't deny the notion of getting fucked by him excites you.
"Sure I can," He replies casually while pulling down your bikini bottoms and running his fingers through your folds. "Look at how fuckin' wet you are and I've barely touched you yet. Does it turn you on when someone reminds you what a worthless whore you are?"
He pins your hands behind your back and soon slips his cock into you with no warning. You let out a cry as it slightly pains you to be filled without preparation, but he doesn't let up.
"Fits perfectly," Bucky mutters to himself as he starts sliding in and out of you.
"Bucky," You cry out, half in pain and half in pleasure, as much as you hate to admit.
"That's it, you stupid little girl," He says gruffly. "Take my fucking cock like the dumb slut you are. I deserve this - you know how much fuckin' money I could be making if it wasn't for you, you cunt?"
Loud moans and yelps leave your mouth as he rails you, fucking in and out of you hard. He doesn't care that it probably hurts you to be pushed against the wooden bench, he's too far gone. Pure rage has taken over and the only way he can let it out is on you.
He spanks your ass repeatedly, not satisfied until he leaves a mark. "Look at how fucking pathetic you are," He says, snapping his hips as he fucks you harder. Wrapping a hand around your throat, he pulls you up so you're standing up against his body. "That's it, take it, take it. That's a good little fucktoy."
The praise makes you preen as you let out a singing moan, making him smirk while he rips apart your bikini.
"You like that, huh?" He asks you smugly. "Like it when you fulfil your role as a fucktoy? Like making men like me happy? Being nothing but a human sexdoll for dirty old men like me, you slut?"
"Yes, Sir."
"That's it," He says with a grin, pawing at your tits as he continues fucking you. "There she is. That's a good little dummy, just like that. This is what you were made for, ain't it?"
"Yes, Sir," You reply obediently, officially cock drunk. "Made for you, Sir."
"That's it, dummy, such a good girl for me," He says between grunts while bringing his fingers down to your clit. "Don't you fuckin' dare cum. Got it?"
"I won't," You promise as bursts of electric pleasure coarse through you.
Suddenly, you hear a thump from the left. You turn with a gasp to the doorway to see Peter standing there wide-eyed as he watches the scene before him.
"Hey, Parker," Bucky says with a smirk, not stopping his thrusts. "Come to watch me fuck this dumb bitch's brains out?"
Peter's speechless. Between your naked body and Bucky's utterly disrespectful words, he's thrown for a loop.
"Don't be so scared," Bucky coos teasingly as he squeezes one of your boobs. "Wanna come and suck on her tits while I fuck her brains out, huh?"
Terrified, and incredibly turned on, Peter quickly spins on his heel and rushes away.
"Not that you have any fuckin' brains, anyway," Bucky adds bitterly, slapping your tit. "You're just an airheaded bimbo, absolutely nothing going on up there, huh?"
Incoherent moans are all you can let out, proving his point. He chuckles smugly, pulling on your nipples while fucking you harder. Slowly, he lowers one of his hands down to your stomach.
"Feel me right there, dummy?" Bucky asks you. "Feel my big cock filling you up? Say it, you dumb slut."
"I- I can feel your-"
"Louder," He booms.
"I can feel your cock filling me up, Mr. Barnes," You say as clearly as you can.
"That's right," He says as his thrusts become sloppier. "Fuck. You're such a good little fuckdoll, gonna make me cum so quickly. You ready for it?"
You suck in a sharp breath as your core tightens. "Can I-"
He grabs your chin harshly, shutting you up. "Don't be stupid, dummy," He utters lowly. "Fuckdolls don't need to cum. All you need to do is shut the fuck up and take my seed. Got it?"
"Yes, Sir," You let out with a sob, desperate to reach your orgasm. "Please."
Bucky tuts. "Aw, poor thing," He chuckles cruelly. "Tell me how badly you wanna cum right now."
"Please, Sir, I need to cum so badly," You cry as he continues driving his cock into your cunt. "I'm so close, so close."
"Fuck," He utters gruffly. "Take my cum, dummy. That's it, take it all."
With a loud groan, he spills into you, filling you with his cum as he continues to pump in and out. You fall forward and he lets you fall onto the bench with a soft thump.
"Oh, fuck," Bucky mumbles between heavy breaths, rubbing his face. "Shit. Came so fucking hard."
You're left a frustrated, whimpering mess, letting out weak begs for him to let you cum.
Bucky simply pulls his trunks up and slaps your ass one last time before turning and walking towards the exit. "Finish yourself off, slut," He says lowly before leaving you alone.
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bucky masterlist
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buy me a kofi <3
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skaye44 · 20 days
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Speed Dating
Bucky A/U - Bartender Bucky
Summary: Your friend signs you up for a speed dating event at a bar you've never been to. The men are not what you have in mind and you make a better connection with the hunk of a bartender who serves you your drinks.
Content warnings: I don't really think there are...MILD language if any?
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"Jenna!" you shrieked at your friend who sat opposite you on your living room chair.
"What?" she innocently said, and you huffed.
"It's tomorrow at The Red Star Pub on 107th Street. I'm going so it'll be fun. It's time you got out there again Y/n"
You grumbled at her from your seat.
"I get out..." you protested, and she rolled her eyes at you.
"Getting groceries and your mail doesn't count" she sassed, and you scowled at her.
"But speed dating? Really?" you cringed, and she nodded.
"It'll be fun. My co-worker Luis told me a story one time that one of his cousins met her husband at one of these events. I didn't really pay too much attention to him because he went on and on about it, but he said it worked for them so why not see if it'll work for us?" she shrugged her shoulders.
"Ugh.... fine..." you mumbled, and she clapped her hands together excitedly.
"Yay!" she cheered, and you shook your head.
What have you gotten yourself into?
You had been single for almost a year and only had gone out on two dates which were both terrible. Your last relationship practically broke you when you ended things with your ex. Your best friend Jenna always tries and sets you up with friends and co-workers, but you mostly decline. After a while she gave up asking you, but lately, she had enough of watching you stay home weekend after weekend, watching bad TV and old movies. She thought this would be good for you to put yourself back out there, so she signed you up along with herself.
You made your way to the pub the event was being held at. You wanted to go a little earlier and have a few drinks to help relax you. You had never been to this pub before, and from the outside, it looked like a cozy place, perfect for a drink with friends, or casual date (If you had one you bitterly thought). You wandered in and looked around.
The décor was dark wood and exposed brick with pops of red throughout with the back part of the bar lit up with soft lighting. Large black and white images of old Brooklyn New York hung all over the place with black lighting fixtures throughout. Leather booths and seats with black tabletops were spread throughout the expansive space, making it feel large yet intimate and homey.
There were a few tables of people, but for the most part, it was empty.
You walked over to the bar and sat yourself down, looking over the cocktail menu when a strong left hand placed a napkin in front of you. Your gaze followed the hand which led to a solid forearm full of black and grey detailed tattoos that peeked out from a rolled up black shirt sleeve, then up towards broad shoulders to a handsome slightly stubbled face with striking blue eyes.
"What can I get you sweets?" came the low voice from the other side of the bar.
This must be what it feels like to have an out of body experience.
Wait, am I dead?
"Um...I'll have a crown and ginger" you squeaked out and the bartender winked at you and nodded.
Holy cow.
You had to let out a deep breath to calm yourself down.
You peeked over at the bartender who was effortlessly making your drink with his skilled hands as he placed the glass on the napkin in front of you.
"Haven't seen you here before" he said cocking his head to the side.
You took your drink and sipped it to wet your throat that was suddenly dry as the Sahara.
"Yeah, this is my first time here"
He smiled warmly at you.
"Welcome then. I'm James. Let me know if you need anything else"
Yeah, your soft pink lips all over my body
Wait, what?
"I'm Y/n" you said and smiled.
He nodded and walked over to the other end of the bar, wiping it down and filling a few drink orders from the two servers that were wandering around.
James glanced over and smiled at you now and then and you were careful not to look like too much of a gawker.
For once, James was glad that his friend and head bartender Steve was sick tonight. Usually, he's holed up in his office going over paperwork, inventory, schedules, and anything else his business needs, avoiding the front of the house altogether.
Believe it or not, James doesn't really enjoy dealing with a lot of people and prefers to be alone in the back of the house. Steve usually handles the front end of the bar, but Steve caught a cold from his daughter, so James had to step in for the night.
You could see a few more people arrive and one lady setting up for the speed dating event. You texted Jenna a few times, but she didn't respond which wasn't unusual. She was quite flighty and rarely replied right away to your messages, so you shoved your phone into your pocket and drank your drink.
"Can I get you another?" James asked and you nodded.
"Please"
He took your empty glass and made you a new drink.
Your phone dinged as James placed your new drink in front of you and smiled as he walked back to his station. You glanced at your phone and groaned.
"Nnnoooooooo!" you whined and placed your head down on the bar.
James walked over to where you sat.
"Everything ok?" he asked, concerned about your reaction to your message.
"My friend isn't coming" you squeaked out and he nodded.
"Oh, well, that's not so bad. His loss then"
He tried to make you feel better.
"No, you don't understand, She's not coming tonight"
"Your date stood you up?" he asked, and you shook your head.
"No, my friend. She was supposed to come with me to the event here tonight" you said and waved your hand over to where the lady was setting up.
"Ah, you're here for the speed dating event then." James said making you wince slightly on your stool.
You suddenly felt embarrassed you were there and wanted to crawl under a rock knowing James probably now thinks you're a loser who can't get a date the old-fashioned way.
"You'll be fine without her doll. Just be yourself" he shrugged his shoulders and went back to making more drinks.
He had hoped you walked in for a drink and would stay so he could get to know you while he worked. When you told him about your friend, his heart sunk a little knowing you could be dating someone else but was relieved to find out you were waiting for a friend for the speed dating event. He wanted to ask you why you felt the need to sign up to something like this since he thought you would have no problem in dating but felt it would be too forward to ask so he kept quiet...for now...
James probably can have anyone he wants to in a place like this. In fact, he probably has someone already...
Your thoughts were cut off when you noticed another full drink placed in front of you. You looked up at James and he shrugged his shoulders.
"On the house. Go get 'em"
He nodded in the direction of the event, which was almost set to start.
"Wish me luck" you huffed out and took your drink, leaving James grinning at your retreating back.
You joined the group and checked in with the organizer. She gave you a name tag and told you to sit at one of the tables she arranged in a circle. You got up on the large leather stool and sat there, looking around at the crowd. There were lots of people there, probably about 30 or so and they seemed just as awkward and nervous as you, which you were glad about.
The organizer introduced herself as Carol and told you the 'rules' which you nodded. You took a sip of your drink and noticed James watching you from the bar and you smiled at him, which he returned. The men would be the ones who would make their way from table to table, so you didn't have to move, which you were thankful for. It was always awkward for you in trying to lug yourself up onto a barstool in public, so you were saved that embarrassment for once.
The event started and the first man who sat down in front of you was Bruce. He seemed nice, if a little shy and awkward, but you thought he had a darkness to him that you couldn't quite place. He was a scientist who worked with radiation and x-rays or something, but you really weren't paying that much attention since he went off on a topic about gamma something or other. He seemed really into science and technology, which you thought was cool, but weren't into it that much, so he backed off from his spiel and you both sat in comfortable silence sipping your drinks and politely smiling at each other. You were always attracted to men who had a slight edge to them, but Bruce didn't seem to fit your preferences. The bell rang and he politely excused himself and left for his next table. You marked an 'X' by his name on your card and put it in your pocket and sipped at your drink.
The next man to sit down was Peter. He was nice. You had a hard time believing him that he was a year younger than you since you thought he looked to young. He was head of IT and worked at a tech company. He seemed nice but you couldn't get a word in to chat with him because he talked non-stop. You learned he lives with a roommate named Ned, has Sunday dinners with his Aunt, refurbishes old tech into new tech as a 'hobby', and made an app that helps with crime in his neighbourhood. Kind of an interesting and nice guy, but he wasn't your thing, too innocent for you. The bell rang and Peter excused himself as you marked an 'X' by his name. Nice guy, but just not for you.
Great you thought to yourself as you took another sip of your drink.
You glanced back at the bar, but James was busy filling drink orders. You watched him while he worked. He moved around the bar effortlessly and always was welcoming to anyone who asked him for a drink. You let out a breath as the next man sat in front of you.
"I'm Tony" came the large hand that reached across the table.
 "Hi. I'm Y/n"
"Yeah, I figured that out, you know, because of your name tag?" he pointed to your chest, and you felt yourself shrink into your seat.
"So, what do you do?" he asked, and you told him about your job and a few hobbies.
He seemed completely bored and uninterested in anything you told him about yourself. You asked about him and he rolled his eyes like you should already know who he is as he proceeded to tell you all about the money he makes and has, making you instantly tune him out.
How pretentious can you get?
He got up and wandered off, leaving you alone at the table wondering what you did or said. You looked at Carol and she shrugged her shoulders.
The next man to sit at your table was a large man, bald, his chest was exposed, and had a lot of tattoos on him. You felt small and a little scared of him. You asked what his name is and all he said was Drax. You weren't sure if that was his first name, a nickname, or a last name...you know, like Beyonce...or Drake... ?
He chatted to you about the gang he was in which made you clutch your purse tight to your chest while he told you stories of their various jobs they did. You weren't sure if you should be listening to some of the things he was saying since that would now make you guilty by association, so you tuned him out and finished your drink. He mumbled something about a raccoon and tree which seemed super random, but you didn't pay any attention to him.
You did not want any part of 'Drax' and marked multiple 'XXXXXXXXXX's' at his name as he left your table.
The group was allowed a small break before the next round, so you headed to the bar for your last drink. James sauntered over and plopped your drink in front of you.
"Everything ok?" he asked, and you shook your head and groaned.
"Ugh, no. The guys are all weird and awkward. I don't feel like I'm connecting with anyone" you admitted then leaned in close to James.
"That last guy, I think he should be in jail" you whispered, and James chuckled.
"No, I really do. He told me things.... I-I don't think I can block that out. I think I have to go to a police station and tell them about it" you jokingly admitted sipping your drink and James laughed a little harder.
 "Hang in there. I'm sure there's someone here you can connect with" he winked at you then turned back to his station.
Yeah, I'd like to be permanently connected to your face
Why am I like this?
You held your drink up to him and air 'cheeresed' him as you left to head back to your table.
"Round two, here I come!" you called, and James waved to you.
He was so handsome you told yourself as you hefted yourself up onto the large stool for the second part of the night.
You met with a few other men, all were the same and no one stood out to you. You marked more 'X's' at their names as you shoved the paper into your pocket, hopefully for the last time. Your drink was almost finished when the last man sat down.
"Hi, I'm John" came the deep voice and a firm handshake.
"Hi John. I'm..."
You pointed to your name tag.
"Cute" he said, and you smiled.
He was tall, hair was blonde, and he had a nice smile. He joked a little with you and told you about his military career. You told him about your work, and he seemed into you, so you were pleased but you could feel a set of eyes watching you intently and tried to figure out where it was coming from.
This was it; this was the person Y/n was going to connect with, James could feel it. He watched as you smiled and listened to the man in front of you. He watched you sip the last of your drink, laugh at one of his jokes, and pat his arm as the man told you a story.
James had to look away and re-fill the glassware to get that image of you having fun with another man from his mind. He wanted it to be him sitting there on a date with you and not that clown. James took in the man's appearance and scoffed at his navy-blue blazer and dark red polo shirt he wore underneath it. 'Who combines those colours?' he thought to himself as he grumpily put the glasses away. Y/n would never go with a lonely bar owner like him he told himself, sneaking one last glance at you.
John seemed nice enough, polite and everything, but he was a little slow at things. He kind of reminded you of a dumb puppy – cute, but you felt like he was missing something. When you heard the bell ring, you took out your paper and marked a '?' by his name. You know you can only mark either a 'Y' or 'X' but you didn't care at this point.
You had a few drinks care of the handsome bartender and you didn't feel like you connected with anyone other than James who wasn't even part of the event. Carol told everyone that she would take the cards back and see if there were any matches and how she would be in contact with anyone if they matched so everyone nodded and left for the night.
The crowd dispersed, paying their servers their drink bills as they headed out. You casually wandered to the bar to pay your tab and to say goodnight to James.
"Hi" you said, and James nodded.
"So, you make any connections?" he hesitantly asked as he took your credit card from your hand to run it through the machine.
"Nah, no connections for me. All of them earned a big fat 'X' by their name, oh and one '?'"
James had his back to you and a giant smile was plastered all over his face. He composed himself and turned to you to hand you your card back as you put it back in your wallet.
"So, I should go, it's getting late. I walked here so I'm happy it decided not to rain on me. I'm glad I came here tonight" you admitted.
"I'm glad you did too. Nice meeting you Y/n"
James smiled back.
You turned and headed to the door. It was almost time to close the pub for the night when James snapped out of his thoughts.
"Wait!" he called to you as you had your hand on the door.
"Yes?" you said and looked at James.
"I'm closing soon, so if you want, you can stay for a little longer and I can walk you home...if you want?" he asked, and you smiled.
"I wouldn't want you walking home alone at this time of night" he added.
You walked back to the bar.
"Sure" you said and sat down.
"I'll be fast." He said and you nodded.
After the last person left, James walked to the front and locked the door, flipping the open sign to read closed.
"Is the owner ok with me being here? I don't want to get you in trouble" you asked, and James smirked.
"I'm sure he'll be fine with it"
James went about his closing duties and the two of you chatted about the day. You told him about your job, what you liked to do on the weekends, and James listened intently as he swept the floors and wiped the tables.
"So, you've always been a bartender?" you asked, and James smiled.
"Yeah, kind of"
"I can't believe I've never been here before"
You looked around.
"I want to compliment the designer of the pub how comfortable it is here" you said, and James smiled brightly.
He liked the fact that even though he stressed and stressed about the look and feel of his pub before opening it, you felt comfortable in it, which was what he wanted everyone to feel when they walked in.
"You just did"
He watched as your eyes bulge out.
"Wait, hold up" you shook your hand at him.
"YOU'RE the designer?" you pointed, and James smiled.
"More like owner sweetheart" he said, and you blushed.
He was close to you, so you gave him a playful slap to his arm.
"James! How was I supposed to know, now I feel silly" you blushed, and James giggled.
'It's ok doll. I'm mostly in the back of the bar. My main bartender Steve is home sick, so I was filling in for him tonight"
He went back behind the bar.
You nodded and watched as he finished his closing duties and the both of you walked out into the cool night air with James re-locking the door behind you.
"I don't live that far, just around the corner about a block down" you pointed, and James nodded.
He kept his arm around your shoulder as you navigated the sidewalk.
"I actually live about a block past you" he said, and you smiled brightly.
"How have we never seen each other before in passing?" he asked, and you shrugged your shoulders.
Maybe because I've been a recluse for the past year, afraid of putting myself back out there?
"Well, this is me"
You stopped out front of your building.
"Thanks for the service tonight. It was top notch. I'll be sure to leave good review" you teased and watched as James rolled his eyes but chuckled at your lame joke.
You fiddled with your keys in your bag as James blurted out "Can I see you again?" he asked as you looked surprised.
HE was asking YOU if he could see you again?
What universe is this?
This beefy man with his kind eyes, polite manners, and steady job is asking me out you?
"Oh, well, ok. Yes, I'd like that James" you blushed, and James smiled.
"I'd like to take you out on a date Y/n" he said, and you nodded.
This man could literally ask me to rob a bank and jump off a cliff, and I'd do it without asking twice
"Bucky" he said, and you looked at him funny.
"Friends of mine call me Bucky" he said, and you smiled.
"Ok Bucky"
He beamed at you.
"Can I get your number then?" he asked handing you, his phone.
You shoved your phone at him so fast, he laughed at your eagerness making you cringe.
"Here"
You gave him yours so he can add his.
"Ok then, it's done" he said, and you smiled.
"I'll let you know when I'm free" he said, and you smiled.
"I can always come by the pub and hang out for a bit too, you know, if Steve is still sick" you said, and Bucky beamed.
"I'd like that" he said, and you smiled.
"Ok then"
"Ok then"
He leaned in and kissed your cheek, making you blush hard. You hugged him as you made your way into your building and gave him a wave through the window as you entered your elevator.
You were grateful Jenna flaked on you and Bucky was grateful his main bartender was sick as he walked to his apartment with a light spring in his step.
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