#the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

preciousbarnes · 10 months

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Here When I Wake

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Tags: Winter Soldier-ish!Bucky, Memory Loss, mentions of violence, comfort, fluff, Sam being a good friend

There’s a gentle breeze flowing into your small Brooklyn apartment from the open windows. The sun is setting in the west, illuminating the sky in shades of pinks and purples. The fading sunlight matches the dim vibe within the apartment, only illuminated by a couple lamps and some candles placed strategically on shelves, where Alpine couldn’t knock them down.

The light sound of an old jazz record from Bucky’s collection plays softly as you sway in the living room to the melodic tunes. It’s a peaceful evening; just you and Alpine together in the kitchen, as she always loved keeping you company when you were cooking.

You lose yourself in the repetition of cooking your favorite dish, before being interrupted by the sound of your cellphone ringing and vibrating on the kitchen counter. You pick up your phone and are surprised to see who is calling, Bucky’s partner, Sam.

“Sam?” You ask, confusion clear in your voice upon greeting him.

“Hey, listen, where are you?” Sam inquires urgently over the phone, out of breath and sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

“Um, home? In Buck and I’s apartment? Why?” You question, becoming more confused as you also feel concern creeping up on you. Why was Sam calling? He never called you.

“Something happened on the mission. Bucky experienced a head injury, and was triggered somehow. He’s not himself right now. We lost track of him outside of Manhattan. Stay where you are. I’m on my way to you now. We’re hoping maybe you can help us.” He explains quickly. You hear the sound of a car roaring to life before the line quickly drops off.

Your phone falls from you hand, hitting the floor. He wasn’t himself, which could only mean one thing. He wasn’t him. The winter soldier was back, and there’s no telling what he’s after, or what danger he’s getting himself into. You make quick work of finishing the dinner dish you had planned to share with Bucky, moving it to a storage container to save since having lost your appetite. There was no way you could eat right now when your stomach is a ball of nerves.

You’re washing up the dishes as a welcomed distraction when you suddenly get the feeling of eyes on you. It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, and your hands slightly tremble. Bucky always warned you about closing those damn windows that led to the fire escape.

You gently place the pan you were scrubbing back into the water, opting to grab the large kitchen knife out of the water before taking a deep breath and abruptly turning around.

You gasp, surprised at who is here. It’s Bucky, sitting in the shadows of your apartment, having blown out the candles and now his figure was barely lit by the one lamp on the stand next to your loveseat he was sat on. His eyes appraise you, glancing at the knife held tightly in your hand.

“You’re my mission” he says, his voice with a slight Russian accent you are not used to.

“Bucky? What’s going on?” You ask him, hesitantly after hearing him utter the word ‘mission’.

Bucky cocks his head to the side, his eyes taking in how you’ve relaxed since seeing him.

“Who is Bucky?” His voice huskily asks.

You swallow dryly, unsure of what to say or how to proceed. You set the knife back down into the dish water, grabbing a dish towel to dry your damp hands. His eyes never leave you, watching your every move. You don’t feel in danger of the man, knowing that if he wanted you dead in this state he could have killed you without you seeing it coming.

You turn back and slowly approach Bucky, before asking to sit next to him. He looks confused at your request.

“I’m an asset, why are you asking me?” He asks you, voice soft but showing his confusion.

“Here you always have choices. You can say no. Your comfort matters.” You explain to him, swallowing down emotions as you think of the times Bucky was tortured and treated horribly, given no choices or options.

He looks skeptical, but nods regardless, motioning for you to sit down with him. You sit down next to him gently, leaving a comfortable space between you both. As you take in his tense form, you notice blood on his dark pants, saturating one leg fully. You let out a gasp, reaching for him.

“What happened to your leg?” You ask quickly, moving to assess an injury before Bucky moves to the side out of your reach.

“Not my blood,” he explains, voice taking on a dark tone.

You look at his stony expression and dark eyes, nervous to ask but knowing you need to.

“Whose blood, then?” You ask softly, nerves tilting your voice.

“The targets. They were coming here for you. Had to stop them. They have been eliminated.” He explains, voice steely and darkened.

“You said I’m your mission. What do you mean?” You ask softly.

“Must protect you at all costs,” he explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why?” you probe, trying to understand.

“I don’t know. All I remember is fighting, getting a bad hit to the head, and then these men mentioned this address and your name. I knew I had to get here. I had to keep you safe.” Bucky tells you, openly.

You give Bucky a small smile, getting ready to thank him, before Bucky is jumping to his feet and grabbing your hands to pull you into a standing position. He begins to shove you down the hall quickly and into your shared bedroom.

“Huh? Bucky? What’s going on?” Questions fall from your lips as you don’t understand his sudden and urgent movements.

“Someone’s coming, you must hide,” he explains in a hushed voice, as he motions for you to get into your closet so he can shut you in to hide you.

You hear the front door open, and Sam’s voice echoing through the apartment, calling your name. Bucky grabs a knife from his holder and begins stalking his way towards his next target before you quickly grab his arm, trying to pull him back.

“Sam, it’s okay!” You call out, earning a betrayed look from bucky.

“Bucky, Sam is a good guy. On your side. He’s not a threat. He’s a friendly,” you explain softly, hoping he will trust you.

“Sometimes bad people appear good, маленький кролик” he tells you, unsure of Sam and still trying to gently push you back into the closet.

You reach out and grab Bucky’s hand, and reach up with your other hand to gently rest your hand on his jaw. He’s clearly taken by surprise, his eyes wide as they look to your face and then down to the hand gently holding his metal one. It confuses him. No one has ever in his memory regarded him with such softness, and had never volunteered to touch the weapon that is his metal arm.

“I would never lie to you, I promise Sam means no harm. I trust him with my life, and I trust him with yours almost every month when you guys are out on missions together,” your voice is gentle and honest as you hope Bucky will listen and trust you.

As he continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, the door to the bedroom slowly opens, revealing a surprised looking Sam.

Sam slowly steps into the room, holding his hands up to show Bucky he isn’t armed. Bucky quickly turns from you, hiding you effectively behind his back and broad shoulders, shielding you from any potential danger his mind thinks Sam may pose.

“Hey, man. What’s going on?” Sam asks, voice low but calm despite his worried expression as his eyes flicker to yours peeking around Bucky’s expansive frame.

“You were fighting by my side,” Bucky recalls out loud.

“Yes, yes I was. We’re on the same team.” Sam explains, lowering his outstretched hands to rest at his side.

“I’m missing time. I know I am. There are pictures here. Me and her, but I don’t remember. I knew I needed to keep her safe, but I don’t know why. Is it an order?” Bucky asks, sounding confused as his hand not holding the knife reaches up to rub his forehead.

“Is your head hurting?” You softly ask him, reaching up to rub his shoulder gently. Bucky welcomes the touch, surprising himself. He nods in answer to your question, despite himself.

“No, man. You don’t take orders anymore, you make them. We aren’t with hydra. We got you away. You were pardoned for the crimes those people forced you to commit. You help people now. You keep people safe..” Sam explains to Bucky.

“Okay, if all that’s true, it still doesn’t explain her?” Bucky says, moving away from his position of shielding you, instead turning so the three of you can look to each other.

“We’re together, Buck. We have been for a couple years now. We live here in this apartment, together, freely. You’re safe here. You’re safe with us. You’re safe with me,” you tell him, eyes wide as you look to him, longing to pull him into your arms and take away his confusion.

“Why am I missing time? All I remember is hydra. Working for them. The machines they used on me. I don’t remember any of this that you tell me. I remember my head hurting, and fighting next to you, and then knowing I had to get here and protect her.” Bucky questions, eyebrows furrowed and body still tense.

“This has happened in the past before, before you met her. We thought it was a one time thing. We’re now guessing if you take a hit to the head just right, right spot and right force, and this happens. It’ll work itself out after a good nights sleep while you heal. We already have some great scientists who want to help you working on a way to prevent this from happening again, so you don’t keep going through this,” Sam says to you both.

Bucky takes in what Sam said, nodding to himself and looking to you.

“Okay. I don’t know why, but I trust you both. I just need to sleep this off basically?” Bucky questions.

You and Sam both nod.

“Yeah, man. Just sleep it off. I’m going to stay here on the couch in the living room, just in case you need something.” Sam states, looking to you for your approval. You nod your head, reaching to your bed to grab an extra pillow and a blanket for him. Handing these to him, Sam nods in thanks and excuses himself to the living room.

“Well, let’s get you cleaned up” you find yourself saying. Moving to the closet and grabbing out Bucky’s most comfy pair of sweats and a soft t-shirt for him. You grab him a pair of boxers from the dresser quickly and turn back to lead him to the bathroom connected to your bedroom. He silently follows you. During this interaction you notice how purposefully loud in movement Bucky must normally be around you, as the dissociated soldier with you moves with a natural silence to a point it’s almost eerie. But, you think to yourself, that is a necessary part of the job he was tasked with for decades.

You wait in the bedroom after showing Bucky the bathroom and where the towels were. You find yourself lost in thought, once again hating what Bucky has gone through, and how a hit to the head sent him right back, at least partly. Bucky here wasn’t fully the winter soldier, but he wasn’t your Bucky either. Instead he was an odd mixture of the two.

After some minute pass, the bathroom door opens to reveal Bucky, looking cozy as ever in the large sweatpants and stretched out t-shirt you had given him. Even in such basic clothing, he still takes your breath away.

“Where do I sleep?” His husky voice softly questions.

“Here in the bed, I’ll sleep in the guest room sweetheart,” the endearment slips past your lips before you can stop it, making you look away and feel blood rising to your neck and cheeks in embarrassment.

“Please, don’t be embarrassed, маленький кролик. It’s nice, someone being kind to me. And you can sleep, with me, if you’d like. I understand that’s what we normally do, I don’t want you uncomfortable,” Bucky says, voice soft and beginning to become sleepy.

“Okay, if you’re sure that’s alright?” You ask, as you take off your oversized sweater to just leave yourself in your sleep shorts and one of Bucky’s baggy t-shirts.

“It’s fine doll,” a soft smile takes over his features as he walks closer to the bed.

You flip the covers over, climbing in and patting the empty side next to you, motioning for him to join you.

He walks over and sits on the bed next to you, pulling the covers over you both as you reach over and turn the bedside lamp off, leaving you both to get settled in the darkness. A few moments pass in silence as you both get comfortable under the covers

“Can I ask something?” He asks.

“Yeah, Buck?” You ask, turning to him. His features are lit by the moonlight pouring in through the windows.

“Will you be here? When I wake up? Normally when I go to sleep, I lose everything,” he asks you, your heart breaking at the uncertainty on his face.

You reach over and gently stroke his jaw, moving closer to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Of course. I’ll always be here, Buck.” You convey to him with absolute certainty in your voice, calming his fears.

As you find yourself drifting off to sleep, you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

“Thank you, маленький кролик”

Translations: маленький кролик - little bunny

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onceuponastory · 1 year

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all this love - bucky barnes x reader

I took all this love I found, and I hope that it's enough Is it enough? - only love by pvris

Plot: After John Walker oversteps, Y/N makes sure that her boyfriend Bucky knows just how much she loves him. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: John Walker being an asshole, some violence (not from Bucky), slightly graphic mentions of injuries and blood, a few mentions of Bucky’s past as The Winter Soldier, and the anxiety/self doubt he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: Some of you may know but I love PVRIS, and I love this song, so of course I had to write something for Bucky using it. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own. Also, thanks again to @staticscreenwriting / @astartothemoon for my dividers!

Y/N scans the room, keeping an eye out for Karli and the other Flag Smashers. As she does, she suppresses a sigh. She loves accompanying Bucky and Sam on their missions and helping them as best as she can, but this time it’s different. For once, she can’t wait to get home. Mostly because of their company - John Walker.

At first, she tried to be civil, even though she, like the others, doesn’t agree with him being made Captain America. And Lemar is friendly enough. But John’s done nothing but be annoying and rude to them all ever since they joined forces. At least once this is over, they can forget he ever existed.

Right now, John’s complaining about something yet again, angrily pacing around as he does. “John, just calm down. We’ll find Karli soon.” Y/N insists. Immediately, John stops, his head whipping round angrily. Despite how annoyed he makes her, the glare John gives her at that moment strikes fear into her heart.

“Don’t do that Y/N. Don’t fucking patronise me. You have no idea of the pressure I’m under.” He warns. As soon as he takes a step towards her, Bucky and Sam are by her side, ready to shield her if needed. Bucky’s face hardens angrily.

“She wasn’t patronising you, John. And you better watch your tone. Don't talk to my girlfriend like that.” Bucky warns, his eyes narrowing slightly. However, instead of backing off, John keeps going, this time turning his attention to Bucky.

“Or what? Are you going to go all Winter Soldier on me?” He scoffs. Bucky visibly tenses at John’s words. Protectively, Y/N steps forward, reaching out for Bucky’s hand. “This is really easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum running through your veins.” John continues, not caring about the obvious effect his words are having on Bucky.

“Watch your fucking tone….” Y/N hisses. Yet John ignores her warning, continuing his verbal tirade on Bucky.

“I mean, does anyone here really trust him after what he did? Who’s to say he’s not working with them, or that he won’t try to kill us too?” Y/N’s anger grows, and she tightens her grip on Bucky’s hand.

“John.” Sam warns. Bucky opens his mouth, about to defend himself.

“What? Don’t act like you don’t agree. He’s a monster who doesn’t deserve to be here.” And with those words, Bucky’s face falls. He turns and looks at Y/N, his eyes shimmering with tears. The sight breaks Y/N’s heart. Before she can say anything, Bucky turns and storms off.

“Bucky! Bucky, wait!” Y/N calls after him. Just as she’s about to go after him, John’s smug voice sounds once more.

“I don’t know why she’s going after him. He’s not worth it. She’s too good for someone like that, anyway.” He murmurs, clearly intending for her to hear him. Y/N’s blood boils, and her fist clenches.

“Y/N….” She registers Sam’s voice beside her, warning John to be quiet, and for her to control her anger before she does something she regrets. And for a moment, she considers doing just that, and simply going after Bucky. Yet, John’s next words seal his fate.

“Besides, I’m a much better choice. At least I’m not a murderer.” Y/N turns around, marching right up to John. He sneers at her, the look making her stomach churn. But she’s too blinded by anger to think about that right now. “See, she understands-” John’s words are cut short by Y/N’s fist connecting with his nose. A sickening crack fills the room, and John hisses as blood begins to pour from his nose. “You fucking bitch.” He hisses, lunging for her before being pulled back by Lemar in the nick of time, whilst Sam pulls her back, protectively grasping her arm.

“Say that shit about my boyfriend again, and I’ll end you.” She warns, her voice like venom. Sam’s voice sounds again, telling her to choose her next words carefully. Of course, she knows he’s right, but she ignores him, too angry to even think straight. “He never chose to be a killer, but you chose to be an asshole.” She blocks out whatever the rest of John says, consumed by her desire to find Bucky safe and well.

“I’m going to go find him. Can you deal with…that?” She gestures vaguely in John’s direction, and Sam nods.

Y/N visits several places to try and find Bucky: a park, a number of coffee shops and bars, searching high and low for the brunette super soldier she loves more than anything in the world. And yet, there’s no sign of him. With each failed sighting, Y/N’s stomach churns more and more with anxiety, and her heart pounds more and more. Bucky is fast, and he could be anywhere by now. The next time she sees John, she’s going to do more than break his nose. Suddenly, her phone starts ringing, and for a moment, her heart almost stops, thinking it’s Bucky.

When she sees Sam’s name flash up on her caller ID, she can’t help feeling disappointed. But she knows Sam is Bucky’s friend too, and he wants to help find him just as much as she does.

“Any sign of him?”

“Nope. Checked everywhere nearby I could think of. Any news on your side?”

“None yet.” He replies, and she sighs. “Look, I’ll take the wings and see if I can find him. You go to the house and see if he’s there.”

“Okay.” Sam can immediately pick up on the anxiety in her voice, and he sighs.

“Y/N. We’ll find him, alright. I promise.”

“I hope you’re right.”

As soon as she steps into the house she shares with the boys, Y/N immediately senses that someone is there. Her heart rate picks up. Bucky. Maybe he’s here. “Bucky? Babe, are you there?” She calls. “It’s just me.”

“Go away.” A quiet, yet familiar voice calls. Despite how much her heart wrenches at the sound of pain in his voice, Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. He’s here, and safe. Y/N immediately sets off towards his voice, quickly texting Sam to let him know that Bucky’s okay. Bucky sits huddled beside their bed, curled up into a ball. He doesn’t even look up at her when she enters. The sight makes Y/N feel like a hundred daggers have been stabbed into her. She kneels down in front of him, gently placing her hand on his knee.

“Bucky, sweetheart, it's me.”

“I said, go away.” Bucky’s voice is muffled, but she can tell he’s been crying. Her eyes fill with tears, and she has to stop herself from finding John and punching him all over again. The fact someone like him, someone so rude and cruel, could make someone like Bucky feel so awful about himself infuriates her. “John’s right. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve anything good, especially not you.” Bucky sniffles, and Y/N’s heart breaks all over again.

“No, you’re not Bucky. What you did all those years, it wasn’t you. They tortured you and brainwashed you. It wasn’t your choice.” She insists. “The serum never corrupted Steve, but it didn’t corrupt you either. They made you a killer. It wasn’t your choice.” Bucky looks up at her then, the skin around his eyes red from crying. Y/N’s face softens. “You’re making amends and showing people you’re sorry. That says a lot about you. John has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. He’s just an asshole.”

“But the serum is still in me. W-What if I hurt you?”

“You could never. All you’ve done is show me love and support. Honestly, I don’t think you’ve got an evil bone in your body.” Bucky takes her hand, squeezing it tightly, which Y/N returns. Even before they got together, Bucky has supported and protected her through it all, and now it’s her turn to do the same.

“You still deserve someone better. Someone who isn’t as broken and messed up as me. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you ever since we got together, and even John sees it, too.” Y/N leans in, gently kissing his forehead.

“Hey…I love you, Bucky. Nobody else, just you.” She insists, cupping his cheek in her palm and using her thumb to wipe away his tears. “And I love you just the way you are. To me, you’re the best person in the world. Don’t listen to John Walker. He’s not even half of the man you are. I know I can’t possibly take away all your pain and trauma, but I’ll be here to tell you just how good you are and how much I love you every day.”

“You’re such a good person, Y/N.” Bucky mumbles. “So kind, and so loving.”

“So are you. And you show me that every day.” Bucky shuffles forward into her embrace, wrapping his metal arm around her tightly.

They sit together for a while, Y/N letting Bucky cry as she holds him protectively, and whispering reassurances in his ear. “I’m going to be here forever, Buck. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.” She tells him when they pull away. Bucky manages a chuckle at that, and it makes her heart flutter. He gazes at her, smiling like she hung the moon.

“I’m glad. I don’t think I could ever survive without you in my life.” Smiling, Y/N leans in close, gently kissing his lips.

“Me neither. Good thing that I’m not going anywhere.” Bucky takes her hand, pressing a kiss to it. Suddenly, he notices the bruise developing on her knuckles, and his eyes widen.

“What happened to you? Did he hurt you? He can say whatever he wants to me, but if he hurts you, then there’s going to be a problem.” Bucky insists. Just as he’s about to get up, Y/N stops him.

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t him that did it…sort of.” Bucky’s brow furrows, and Y/N chuckles. “I punched that smug fucker right in his face after what he said to you. I probably broke his nose, actually.” Bucky gasps.

“You did that for me?”

“Of course I did.” She shrugs. “He doesn’t get to mess with my boyfriend and make him feel like shit without facing the consequences.”

“Thank you.” Bucky smiles. “At least let me get you some ice, though.” He helps her up, gazing at her with a smile. Y/N’s stomach flutters once more. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world to have you protecting me, you know that?”

“Well, you protect me, so it’s only fair I return the favour.” He kisses her lips once more, and Y/N smiles. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky x Female Reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky oneshot #bucky one shot #bucky imagine #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction #marvel oneshot #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction

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questionableratatouille00 · 6 months

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Buckytober Thing

A note: I have basically given up on whumptober (lack of motivation) but this idea came to me and I would like to submit it into something, so here we are for the lovely @chaos-and-ink’s Buckytober. At the bottom of this post is a link to the prompts if you’d like to participate!

I know today’s not any of these dates, but I’d like to get this out there just for fun. This can be taken in any way you’d like, whether that’s past stucky, pre-sambucky, past winterwidow, or even just Bucky being Bucky. It’s up to interpretation! Lots of love everybody, and I hope you enjoy.

Days: 16, 19, 22, 28, and 31.

Warnings: alcohol, nonconsenual sterilization, talks of Bucky’s trauma, HYDRA themes (abuse, torture, and the like) references to sexual trauma, mentions of the Red Room, nightmares, homophobia in the 1940s, HYDRA beliefs, mass grave reference (is that a warning? I’m going to say it is). ————————————————————————

Bucky sipped his beer, staring off into the beautiful, serene water. He sat at the end of the pier, his feet dangling off the edge.

He heard footsteps behind him, the creaking of the wood giving away the presence of any attacker.

But Bucky wasn’t worried. He wasn’t alarmed or defensive, and he knew there was no ‘attacker’. That was probably his favorite part of the Wilson household, he never had to defend himself or fight any battles besides the ones in his head. There was safety there. Not safety like Wakanda, he noted.

Wakanda was safe, that was real. He knew it was real. There was a huge force field keeping any and all outsiders out, and there were the Dora Milaje, too. Wakanda was, from what Bucky knew, the safest place on the planet.

But the Wilson household was a different kind of safe. He couldn’t describe that safe with words, not like he could describe Wakanda’s type of safe. Maybe he could assign a few adjectives; loving, caring, protective, united, but even then he couldn’t string together sentences to make it all make sense.

Bucky decided that he preferred the Wilson household version of safe. Even if he couldn’t ever really decide much for himself, or even really have clear preferences for one thing over another, he wanted to believe he could.

The words had been rendered useless, sure, but the results of HYDRA’s efforts remained. There were bad days, where he couldn’t make choices for himself or he couldn’t give any responses to the outside world besides grim silences or a neutral—albeit creepy—expression, but there were always going to be bad days. Bucky knew that. Sam knew that. And that meant it was going to be okay.

A firm hand on his left shoulder pulled him from his thoughts. Sam groaned as he sat down, his knees cracking as he did so.

“God, I feel as old as you are.” He joked. He didn’t move his hand away.

Bucky gave him a small smile in response. He liked how Sam touched him. It wasn’t cautious, careful, or waiting for Bucky to snap like Steve’s touches were. Bucky didn’t have any dislike for Steve because of it, but Bucky always knew Steve treated him like glass, or like a broken piece of pottery that had just been glued back together.

Sam’s touches were firm, but not painful. Reassuring, but not overly gentle. Very obviously present, but not overwhelming nor overbearing. Bucky appreciated it. The way Sam touched him made him feel real. Like he wasn’t just living in some false reality he made up to cope with whatever trauma of the nightmare he was dealing with.

Sam had made up that phrase. ‘Trauma of the nightmare’. He’d made it up after his third time witnessing Bucky’s very present PTSD symptoms. Just saying ‘trauma’ was too broad of a term, because they both knew Bucky had a lot of that. But Sam knew Bucky didn’t want him to say the specific event that happened in the nightmare aloud, at least not when he was still panicking from re-experiencing it again.

Hence, trauma of the nightmare. It was Sam and Bucky’s version of ‘villain of the week’ or ‘question of the day’. Maybe there was a hint some kind of dark humor in there somewhere, having so much baggage you had to make a whole phrase for it, but Bucky didn’t care.

Sam took a sip of his own beer. “You’re technically older than the average age in most nursing homes, but you ever think of starting a family of your own?” He asked, sliding his hand off Bucky’s shoulder. There were very few people who could touch his left shoulder, and Sam was one of those people.

“No. I’ve..I wouldn’t make a good partner, let alone a father.” Bucky confessed, not looking at Sam. He knew Sam was looking at him. He always knew.

“I mean, the father thing isn’t my place to talk about, but who said you couldn’t be someone’s partner?”

“I’ve got too much bullshit to deal with. It’s just…a lot. I don’t want to put that onto somebody. I already feel bad for putting it on you.”

“You didn’t put anything on me. I opened the door to that closet. You know I expected to find a few skeletons in it.”

“It’s not really a few. It’s more of a mass grave, really.”

“I’m willing to help you lay those skeletons—however many there are—to rest. You know I am.” Sam said this so casually, Bucky couldn’t help but look at him. God, he wished he hadn’t. Sam’s beautiful brown eyes wouldn’t let Bucky look away, he was practically obligated to stare into them, to drown in them.

“I don’t even know if I can even have kids. I mean, we both know what the Red Room did to Natasha. And Yelena, too. HYDRA and the Red Room teamed up a few times. I don’t know if they…did that to me, too.” Bucky felt the words come out before he could even process them himself. That was the worst part about talking to Sam. He made it so easy to just..confess all your feelings to him.

“I’m sure you could see a doctor. They could tell you if you’d had it done or not.” Sam tried to provide a solution.

Bucky shook his head slowly, before looking out to the water again. “Probably. But..for me, doctors and nudity don’t really mix. They aren’t even really good on their own, either.”

Sam shrugged. “Fair point. I don’t think I’m interested in adopting or surrogacy or anything like that. Sarah lets me help with the boys, and I think that’s good enough for me.”

Bucky wondered why Sam didn’t just have his own children. He’d never mentioned having any procedures done, but would Sam really just tell someone he was infertile on a random Tuesday? Probably not, Bucky thought.

“I like guys.” Sam provided the context Bucky hadn’t known before. He felt his eyes widen, his mouth remaining shut. Bucky wasn’t sure how Sam could just say it so proudly, but Bucky thought about it for a moment. If Bucky had a problem with it, he could just leave. But Bucky didn’t have a problem with it.

Bucky looked at Sam. Sam looked at Bucky.

“Cool.” Was all Bucky could think to say. The minute after he said it, he desperately wanted to jump into the water below and drown.

Sam let out a laugh. “I could see those gears in your cyborg brain turning again.”

“Yeah, shut up.” Bucky ran a hand over his face.

“I’m guessing you don’t have the same views as your generation did.” Sam nudged him with his shoulder.

“No. I don’t think I ever really did.” He thought about it. He didn’t hate gay people. Bucky didn’t really hate any kind of people, besides HYDRA people or people who believed the same things as HYDRA people. “Steve didn’t either.”

“Well, Steve was a bisexual, so I guess not.” Sam replied.

“He was.” It wasn’t really a question, but it wasn’t exactly a statement, either. More of a thought, forgotten in the wind, carried out into nothingness.

“You know what that is?” Sam raised a brow.

“Yes.” Bucky nodded. “Might be me. Might not be. Yes. No. I don’t know.” Bucky cut himself off, but Sam didn’t respond. Bucky knew this tactic. Silence provides awkwardness. Awkwardness leads to the target providing the answers to the questions you’re asking. The answers provide success. Success provides a less painful experience once you get back to the base, Soldat.

Bucky snapped himself out of his own head. He wasn’t on a HYDRA truck being rented to who knows what evil organization, he was on Sam’s pier in Delacroix. Sam wasn’t manipulating him, Sam was just letting him continue his own damn thought.

Steve had a habit of trying to guess what he was thinking or saying without letting him even finish the sentence or thought. Bucky appreciated the thought, but it got annoying after the first few times he guessed wrong.

“Steve,” Nat had sighed, “let him think.”

He’d appreciated her, too.

“I never really had time to think about it. So…I’m not sure. Everything feels very..new. It’s all different. In a lot of ways.” Bucky finished his thought there. He didn’t feel like describing the different ways he was talking about, and he didn’t have to describe them to Sam, anyway.

“It is.” Sam nodded. “But you’ve got time to navigate it.” You’ve got me to help you, Bucky could identify the underlying meaning behind the words. He smiled. “I know.”

They tapped their beer bottles together before taking a drink at the same time.

————————————————————————

A link to Buckytober:

#sam wilson #Buckytober chaos #sam and bucky #steve and bucky #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #the wilsons

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jessybarnes · 2 years

Text

Rough With Me

Pairing - Sebastian Stan x Stunt Double Reader

Rating - 18 + Only!! Minors DNI!!

Tags - SMUT, kicking, being stepped on, choking, face fucking, hair pulling, name-calling, degradation, metal arm kink, unprotected sex, a countdown to cum, language, mentions of blood, chase scene, and I think that’s it.

Word Count - 2,394

Beta - None...all mistakes are my own.

Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly

Written for: @wermadashatters on TikTok.

A/N - This was based on a TikTok that my bestie saw where Sebastian kicked a stunt double into a table for TFATWS.

The crisp morning air whipped your hair around as you walked onto set. Birds chirped around you and the faint colors of the morning's sunrise blanketed across the sky like a painting. This wasn't the first time you'd filmed in Georgia, but it was the first time you were needed for this particular stunt.

As a stunt double, you had to be prepared for anything. Cuts, bruises, blood, and even broken bones were possible in this line of work. Your parents supported you, sure, but it still concerned them whenever you visited them sporting a new injury.

The new series you'd been a part of was called The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and you couldn't be happier. Being an avid Marvel fan, you jumped at the opportunity when they began looking for stunt actors.

Taking a sip of your caramel macchiato, you caught sight of the director walking toward you.

"Y/N! Good morning! Lovely weather isn't it?"

A toothy grin spread across your face as you readjusted your bag on your shoulder.

"Mornin' Kari! Yes, it's so nice out."

She handed you a packet and began to walk alongside you.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about today's scenes. Well, one in particular. I know you're used to your line of work, but I always like to talk to my doubles to make sure they're one hundred percent okay with everything."

You nodded and set your coffee down on a nearby table. At first glance, it didn't look like you'd be doing anything major, but something caught your eye on the last page.

"It's this one here." Kari's finger hovered over the middle of the page. "This is a warehouse scene. It'll be you, Mackie, and Sebastian. Now, the writers and I set the scene up to have you running away from Seb and Anthony."

She gestured to the stacks of boxes and shelving units in the makeshift set they built. "Once you come through that door and cut a hard right around those boxes there, Anthony is going to try and grab you, your jacket comes off slowing you down a bit. Seb is going to be coming from the opposite side and he is scripted to kick you into that table over there."

Kari glanced at your face for some sort of reaction, so you opted for a soft smile.

"I appreciate your concern. You're one of the only directors who have asked my opinion. I'm down for anything you want to throw at me. I signed up for this, and if I gotta be kicked by Sebastian Stan to make the episode good then so be it."

She laughed and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, great! I'll see you in about an hour."

Forty-five minutes later you made your way to the warehouse. To someone who wasn't used to a film set, it would look like total chaos.

The crew ran around setting up lights, getting camera angles right, and moving set pieces to ensure the scene was ready. Sebastian's costume designer was making sure Bucky's prosthetic arm fit properly and Anthony was munching on a donut in a nearby chair.

"Y/N! Over here! I saved you a seat!"

Smiling, you chuckled and made your way over to him.

"Morning Mack! Good to see you!"

He offered you the box of assorted donuts.

"Thanks! So, how's Seb today? He seems...I don't know...off?"

Anthony swallowed the last of his breakfast and sighed.

"Seabass isn't particularly keen with today's shoot. He doesn't want to hurt you, Y/N."

You let out a breath and patted him on the knee.

"I'm gonna go talk to him."

As if on queue, the blue-eyed Romanian glanced warily in your direction. You moved to stand in his line of sight and looked up at him.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. You have nothing to be scared of, Sebastian."

He shook his head and ran the fingers of his right hand down your arm.

"You can't ask me to be okay when I'm scripted to kick you in the ribs, Y/N. These are steel-toed boots for God's sake!"

Your free hand grabbed his left one and began rubbing small circles to try and soothe him.

"Seb, listen, I signed up for this. I can take it."

His concerned eyes locked onto your Y/E/C ones silently pleading you not to go through with it.

"How about this? How about we get this shot in one take, hm? Put some extra Seabass spice into Bucky's demeanor and give me one of those stern Winter Soldier stares or something. Blow Kari away and then we only have to do this once, okay?"

He closed his eyes and licked his lips. The action of his tongue ignited a fire deep in your core that you tried desperately to ignore.

"Alright….alright I'll do it, but I'm gonna go all out. I don't want to do this more than once."

"Okay everybody, places, please! We've got a lot to cover and only so many hours in the day."

Kari moved to sit behind the main camera while the rest of the crew got to their designated spots. She began to call out the rest of her orders as you, Seb, and Anthony moved into position.

"Roll sound!"

"Falcon and Winter Soldier warehouse fight sequence, scene twelve, take one,….marker,….and ACTION!"

After a deep breath, you cleared your mind as you shoved the metal door open and ran. It was dark, mountains of boxes flanked you at a dead end.

"Hey! Stop!"

The sound of heavy footsteps closed in behind you as you took a hard right. Fingers gripping onto your jacket made you stumble, and you quickly freed yourself before breaking into a dead sprint.

"Buck, she's headed right for you!"

As soon as you passed the last row of shelves, a boot connected hard against your side making you cry out in agony. Your body collided with a wood table smashing two of the legs. Your left hand wiped the trickle of blood from your brow as you scrambled backwards away from the super soldier.

He stalked toward you, a murderous look in his eyes as he brought his boot down to rest on your sternum.

"Where is it?"

You struggled underneath him as you thrashed from side to side doing your best to break free.

"Like I'd ever tell you, Barnes!"

His eyes darkened and the pressure of his weight increased on your chest making it hard to breathe as he knelt down on his opposite knee.

"I said…" He hovered directly over your face, his metal hand gripping your chin tightly. "Where is it?!"

He raised his voice and squeezed your face a little tighter. Your free hand tried to pry him away, but he was too strong.

He licked his lips and leaned down so he was inches from your face. Your core throbbed, arousal dripping onto your panties as you tried to regulate your breathing.

"How about you stop being a bitch and give us the flash drive."

"CUT! Guys, that was perfect! I think we got it, so no need to reset. Go ahead and break for lunch and we will meet back here at two for the next scene."

The moment Kari called cut, Sebastian's eyes softened with worry. He pulled you to your feet, taking note of the way you winced when he touched the cut on your head.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry...I...I knew I shouldn't ha-"

You cut him off with a kiss, his body going rigid for a few seconds before pulling you flush against him. Your hands reached up into his hair and you licked his bottom lip asking for entrance. His hands found purchase on your hips and he let out a low groan. Taking the opportunity, you licked into his mouth desperately trying to gain friction to where you needed it most.

Sebastian pulled away, his eyes dark with arousal as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"What was that for?"

Instead of answering him, you grabbed his hand and pulled him to a nearby supply closet. You shoved him in and locked the door behind you both.

"Y/N, wha-"

"Do you know how fucking hot that was, Sebastian?"

He furrowed his brow and searched your eyes for an answer.

"How...what...huh? Y/N, I just kicked you and practically stood on top of you...I...y-you liked that?"

A giggle fell from your lips and you began to pull off his costume.

"I think like is a bit of an understatement, baby."

He cupped your cheek and kissed you again, softer this time. Once you finally got his pants undone, you pulled them down and practically ripped yours to get them off your legs.

"Seb, please… feel how wet I am."

You brought his right hand between your folds and moaned when his fingers brushed your clit.

"F-Fuck, baby… want you to be rough with me… love hearing you call me names like you own me."

Sebastian nearly came undone at the sight of you before him. He had never been so turned on in his life. Something inside him snapped. It made him almost primal seeing you writhe against him, pussy dripping from his hand alone.

He shoved you against the door and kicked your feet apart.

"Look at you. So fuckin' needy for my touch."

He shoved two metal fingers inside you and curled them, immediately finding the spot that made you see stars. His free hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your moans.

"What a fucking slut. Getting all wet from what my character did to yours. Do you like that, Y/N? You like when I stuff Bucky's thick fingers in this tight little cunt?"

Your eyes rolled back as you clenched around his digits, legs starting to shake from your impending orgasm.

"Don't you fucking dare, doll. You'll cum when I tell you to."

He pushed a third finger in and quickened his movements making you whimper. You knew you wouldn't be able to hold back, and you knew Sebastian knew that too. The moment his thumb touched your clit you screamed into his hand, your cum gushing down his fingers.

The hand covering your mouth moved to your throat and squeezed slightly. "I fuckin' told you not to cum." He moved the hand that was on your pussy to your mouth and shoved his fingers past your lips. "Be a good girl and clean them off."

Your tongue lapped at them like it was your last meal, the taste of yourself making you moan.

"On your knees."

Immediately, you sank to the floor and looked up at him. He gripped your hair and shoved his boxers down to where his pants lay around his ankles.

"Open up, let Daddy fuck that pretty mouth."

He slid past your lips and bit his when he felt himself slide into your throat.

"Fuck...What a good fuckin' girl."

He tightened the grip on your hair and set a brutal pace. You brought a hand between your legs and began small circles on your clit as drool and tears began to cover your face.

"You're such a cock-slut. Takin' Daddy's dick in your throat. You needy little whore."

Right before your second orgasm came he pulled you off him and brought you to your feet.

"Gonna fill that tight little pussy with my cum, baby."

You pulled him down for a searing kiss and wrapped a hand around his cock stroking him slowly.

"Please, daddy… please fuck me."

Sebastian groaned and lifted you against the door. His hands roughly caressed your curves as he began leaving love bites anywhere he could reach.

"How bad do you want my cock, baby doll?"

"Daddy, I need it. Please, please fill me up. Wreck me and show me who I belong to."

He growled at your words and slammed into you, his cock stretching you deliciously.

He thrusted relentlessly, his fingers tugging at your nipples harshly.

"Fuck, Y/N...you feel so good...so fuckin' good. Mmm…"

His lips crashed against yours, swallowing your moans.

"You were made for me. Fuckin' perfect. Taking my...ah f-fuck...cock so well."

Sebastian brought his right hand to your throat and his left to your clit.

"You wanna cum for Daddy? Wanna cum all over my cock?"

"P-Please.." was all you could say without crying out in ecstasy.

He changed his position, the new angle making your walls clench tight around him.

"Not yet, doll. Gonna count down from ten and you're gonna be a good girl and cum with me."

He slowed his pace and thrusted harder, his cock going impossibly deeper.

"Ten…"

His lips kissed along your neck leaving another mark next to the others he'd made previously.

"Nine….eight"

The pressure on your throat increased and you nearly lost it, eyes shutting tightly to try and hold back.

"Just a little more, baby...you're doing so good. Seven….open those eyes, pretty girl. Show daddy those eyes...six….five….four.."

The fingers on your clit sped up, your legs shaking as you gripped onto Sebastian's biceps. You locked eyes with him, silently pleading for him to take mercy on you and let you cum.

"Three….You're nearly there, Y/N…two…"

His movements became sloppy as he fucked into you faster, his own release beginning to wash over him.

"Oh, shit...ah fuck...Y/N. Can feel that sweet pussy squeezin' me…gonna fill you up...cum with me, baby…"

His gaze met yours and slammed into you hard as you raked your nails down his back.

"One."

Sebastian kissed you feverishly, doing his best to muffle your moans as both of your orgasms crashed over you like a tsunami. He stilled inside you, his lips lazily molding with yours in sweet kisses.

"Such a good girl...so good for me, Y/N."

He set you down on wobbly legs and helped you get dressed.

"So much for eating lunch, we only have thirty minutes to get cleaned up and ready to film again."

You laughed and took his hands in yours.

"My trailer has a detachable shower head." You gazed at him seductively and watched as he bit his lip.

"Woman, you're gonna be the absolute death of me."

#j snow writes #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebstan #real person fiction #anthony mackie #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction #tfatws fanfiction #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fanfiction

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darlingpetao3 · 2 years

Text

Amends of a Ghost (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Rating: G

Summary: Bucky manages to track you down after years to say a few long-awaited words.

A/N: This is me “exercise-writing” again. I think it’s bad lol what a sell XD

You thought you were safe.

Or at least as safe as a person can be in New York City.

But something– someone is following you.

You refuse to turn around to verify this fact so as not to tip them off that you’re on to them. Years of S.H.I.E.L.D. training have prepared you for sneak attacks, among many other stealth-related ambushes. They’ll never know what’ll hit them.

You make a turn down a side street, thinking when this creep rounds the corner, you’ll deck them good. You wait, anticipating the moment you’ll pull back to land a punch right in their face.

Only that moment never comes.

You frown, then dare to peek around the brick wall of the building to see if you’d totally ditched the stranger. Hmm. They’re definitely not there…

A heavier-than-usual weight of a hand on your shoulder makes you jump and immediately kick into overdrive–clutching the hard hand and twisting so that you have your assailant in a lock.

“Heh… you’ve still got the fastest moves.”

Wait, that voice.

“Buck?” you ask, letting go of him in your vice grip. “When- when did you get back?”

The last time you saw Bucky Barnes feels like a lifetime ago. Back when he was practically arm-in-arm with Steve, long hair blowing in the wind and a steely expression set on his face. Okay, that description sounded more like some sort of weird fantasy. Regardless, here he was before you. Minus the Captain, a much shorter haircut, and a self-assured smirk.

While these differences might be subtle to most, they are striking to you.

“I’ve been here for about a month or so,” he explains. “There are some people I’ve needed to track down.”

“Not to…?” you make a hand motion across your throat. Had he fallen back into his old ways?

“No, nothing like that. Not anymore.”

“Wow, you really are a whole different man,” you joke, subtly checking him out.

“I feel like one.”

“You look good, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“…I think this is where you say, ‘You look good, too.’”

He laughs, and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, you do.”

“Wait, so is this you tracking me down?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. I wanted to—“ Bucky inhales as if summoning the right words, “—apologize for what happened in the past. You know, with us specifically.”

“Oh…”

“I didn’t mean to leave, just so you know. I was one of the erased.”

“I had my suspicions, but I never knew for sure,” you admit. “It was hard not to think you were done with me when I woke up that morning, heh…”

“I really am—”

“Don’t be, Buck, seriously,” you interject. “It wasn’t your fault. You had to go save the world and obviously had no control over-” your words trail off with finger-wiggle in the air. The poor guy still looks like this apology hasn’t entirely left his system. “Come here.”

When he remains put, you scoff and step closer to him instead, wrapping your arms around his body. And even though he’s a little stiff at first, something about your familiar touch relaxes him after a moment.

“It's good to have you back, Buck,” you say with your cheek against his chest. He pulls you back slightly only to look at you more clearly.

“Here’s to new beginnings,” he promises.

You truly hope that you’re in his new beginning.

#reader insert #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #winter solider fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #tfatws fanfiction #tfatws imagine #the falcon and the winter soldier imagine

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urdepressedslut · 8 months

Text

The Collection

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky arrives home and panics when he notices you calling for him from your room, but upon entering— he realizes what you have been getting yourself into.

♡ Warnings: superrrrr fluffyyyy 🥹, slight panic, hints to paranoia, hints to PTSD, hints to bucky’s trauma, overall a comfort drabble

main masterlist

A/N: i have been adding to my own squish mallow collection and thought of this 🥰 i’m unhealthily obsessed with squish mallows

Arriving back at your shared apartment, Bucky couldn’t help but notice the amount of time xtra large bags on the kitchen counter. He furrowed his brows in confusion and wandered to the fridge. Opening it in inspection, he didn’t see anything new or added.

You hadn’t gone grocery shopping…

He could hear faint shuffling from your shared room, and he couldn’t help but panic. His mind was brilliant at creating a problem from nothing. He was a professional over thinker— and sometimes it threatened to make his heart give out.

“Baby? I’m home!” He announced, shimmying off his jacket and making his way to the bedroom.

“James! Come quick— you gotta see something!” You said urgently.

He automatically thought the worst and all his suspicions were suddenly coming through. Visions of you hurt came to mind and he practically sprinted and busted through the door. The knob slamming into the wall with a loud thud.

“(Y/n)? You okay?!” He asked panicked.

His body relaxed at your calm state, only the look of confusion on your face. With a quick scan— he noticed there was nothing wrong with the room or you. In fact, if anything was different— it were the many new plushies on the bed.

Releasing a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in, and ran a hand through his hair.

“James honey— you alright? Just wanted to show you my new squishmallows.” You asked him worried, walking over to stand next to him.

Truthfully, if anything he was embarrassed that he’d let himself get in his head again. But after finding you perfectly fine, and organizing your plushies— which he found adorable— he felt fine. He was only happy that you were okay.

“M’fine baby, just thought you were in trouble is all.” He told you honestly.

You softened your gaze to him, grabbing his hand and hiding him to the bed. You gently pushed him down to sit, and he did so willingly.

“I didn’t mean to sound all panicky— was just excited to show you the new ones I got today!” You told him, smiling like the cheshire cat.

He chuckled, leaning back on his hands as he looked down at the medium sized squishmallows.

“You know— this is considered an addiction.” He pointed out.

You scoffed, waving him off like it was no big deal.

“Some consider it a hobby actually.” You defended.

He raised his brows in amusement, chuckling again when he saw you being so defensive. He thought you were adorable.

“You’re so cute.” He said out loud, causing your face to grow hot.

After all this time— he was still easily able to make you blush, flustered from his compliments.

You shook off the flush in your face, choosing to pick up a new squishmallow to show him. You held up a medium sized seal squishmallow, to which Bucky smiled at.

“This is a seal one, his name is Remmy.” You told him.

Bucky grabbed it from your hands, giving it a test hug and holding it while you grabbed another one. Next was a longhorn squishmallow, with a ring dangling from its nose.

“This is a bull one, his name is Shep.” You told him, giving it a hug and then passing it to Bucky.

You held back a giggle, Bucky holding the plushies to his chest an adorable sight. Such a tough man with these cute stuffed animals.

“I like his horns.” He noted, fiddling with the plushie.

You picked up the last one, being a bird squishmallow. You smiled wide as you looked at it, this one being your favorite.

“This is my favorite of the three. I think he’s a hawk or something, and his name is Sam.” You explained.

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he started laughing, dropping the other plushies on the bed, he reached out and grabbed the hawk and inspected it.

“Sam, really?” He asked chuckling.

You nodded your head with a sly smile.

“Does our Sam know about this?” He asked again.

“Definitely not— but I’m sure he’d appreciate it.” You told him.

You two laughed at the goofiness and you ended up being pulled by Bucky into the bed. He wrapped you up in his arms and the two of you started cuddling— just melting into each others embrace. The squishmallows surrounded you two while you both drifted off to sleep.

Nothing felt more perfect, nothing felt more right than being in his arms.

“Love you baby.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

“Love you more James.” You mumbled into his chest.

TAGLIST: @billy-reads @potatothots @buckyb-stan @kmc1989 @silverfire13 @ghostofwinter @hanihoney88 @stilesofhannah @skittle479 @marvelogic @meetmeatyourworst @engie115 @wilsons-striped-ties @x209x @kandis-mom @l0kilaufeys0n7

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kaznejis · 10 months

Text

Love is lost on you- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Your heart stuttered, eyebrows shooting up as you failed to hide your expression from Sam- the shock and subsequent heartbreak present in your features. “Oh,” you spoke slowly, refusing to meet Sam’s eye, “Yeah, well, good for him.”

A/N- I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! Please feel free to send any requests for Bucky- I have a lot of free time right now. :)

Word count: 3,862

Read it on AO3!

“Have you seen Bucky recently?”

Your lips twisted at Sam’s question, a lump forming in your throat at the name. Whilst you loved spending time with Sam- breakfasts, jogging together, late night drinks; the topic of your relationship with the Winter Soldier remained a taboo, an unspoken topic that lingered within every etched line of your conversations. You tended to skirt around his questions, opting to forget the time in which Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes had been the pinnacle of a dynamic duo; both inside and outside of the battlefield. Constant speculation surrounding your relationship made you popular within the public eye, even as active fugitives- the perfect, star-studded friends-to-lovers trope, the bad boy and the good girl next door. Natasha had joked about the two of you being a couple- just to appease the general public who had kept up with any of your appearances.

Bucky had laughed in her face, mocking the idea of even being seen with you, ridiculing the idea of recognising what you believed to be true. You had laughed too, as sincerely as you could with the swirl of rejection in the pit of your stomach. You had realised then that despite your prayers, your wishes, you and Bucky Barnes would never be more than friends.

Sam was the only avenger you were constantly in contact with, having both opted to remain in Washington- you would join him in visiting Steve every now and then; now a dwindling old man, a shadow of the former super-soldier you had looked up to. He remembered very little of his time with the Avengers, the wide span of time his life had consisted throughout caused memories to intertwine and muddle together. But he still laughed, still carried that jovial optimism he carried towards life; you could only smile along, holding his hand as he lived out his final days. You envied Steve at times, he had known exactly where he belonged and had taken the chance to go there.

You hadn’t quite worked out your place in the world post-Avengers, post superhero glory.

Maybe that was why you had clung to Sam, meeting with him regularly and joining him on outings to his hometown; he felt the same way. You couldn’t blame him when he gave away the shield- it was too much of a responsibility, a burden to hold for the rest of his life as he would constantly live in Steve’s shadow. You understood, you couldn’t fault him for it- but part of you knew it would have landed in the wrong hands.

“No,” you shook your head, running a finger along the rim of your beer bottle as the new ‘Captain America’ pranced around on the bar’s television above you. “Why, have you?”

Sam hummed, eyeing you as he nodded slowly, “He’s been to therapy, gone on a date with some girl apparently.”

Sam hummed again, a blatant smirk upon his lips as he drank from his beer bottle, “There’s something else.”

“Go on.”

“He’s coming down here, to help confront the flag smashers issue,” his voice faded out as your heart thudded, “And to probably cuss me out for letting the shield go.”

“He’s coming here? Bucky’s coming here?” your voice wobbled slightly, your facade of strength instantly fading at the thought of being in the same room as him, seeing his face, smelling his scent. It was a feeling you’d once been accustomed to, seeing him everyday- sparring with him in the gym, fighting alongside him, collapsing into his arms as the both of you had faded back into existence- gripping the sides of his face, foreheads connected as you’d cried. Your lips had collided on that fateful day, tears mingling together as you’d gripped at each other, holding fistfuls of his long hair in that Wakandan jungle. You had thought that was it, it was finally happening. But then the portals had opened, the fight had ended and the clarity of the situation had become all too real- Tony and Natasha were dead, Steve was no longer the young super-soldier he had been only seconds earlier. Bucky had left then, disappeared without a trace leaving the kiss you had shared merely adding up to the heat of the moment.

It had broken your heart, more so than the day Bucky had laughed at the thought of a relationship. You had finally grasped it, everything you had ever wanted- you were alive, you had won, you had Bucky. But within minutes it was over, rendering you helpless, empty, alone. You had been left with nothing post-blip, no family to return to, no home to return to. You joined the billions that simply rode the wave of life, unable to return to their previous selves; unable to gain back the years upon years lost to Thanos.

Sam had continued to eye you, pity sitting deep within his eyes, “You know, maybe now could be the time to discuss what happened between you two.”

You shook your head once again, a sardonic chuckle erupting from your gut, “I don’t wanna do that to him, Sam.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You literally just said that he’s been on a date, I don’t want to disrupt his life now with reminders of the past. He’s put it all behind him and I respect that.” You continued to work in favour of America, utilising your skills in order to aid the government. You and Sam had co-ran multiple military focused missions- threats were ever prevalent, so at least you could be occupied on that front.

Sam sighed, rubbing at his forehead, exhaustion prevalent within the crease of his brow, “Well, the two of you better not be awkward as hell the whole time, we have a mission to complete.”

Smiling, you raised your beer bottle to clink it against his, a toast to whatever was to come. “Can’t make any promises.”

You pitied Sam, sitting on the other side of the plane, grasping at any semblance of a coherent conversation in order to escape the thick tension within the air. It was awkward as hell.

Bucky had stormed over to the two of you, opting to ignore you entirely and cuss Sam out for losing the shield. You had been too stunned to acknowledge him- his once long locks had been chopped, replaced by cropped, buzzed hair with the slightest fluff on top. Your body practically yearned for him as you took in the tight leather, light stubble and dominant demeanour he now wore- the quiet, isolated Bucky that you had rescued and harboured was no longer present; he had been replaced by a real soldier- all hard muscle and perfected accuracy. You had stood to the side of Sam, switching between avoiding Bucky’s gaze and gawking at his new appearance. Upon the chance that he had taken to try and acknowledge you, you had already walked away- much to Sam’s dismay as he side eyed the both of you the entire walk towards the plane. Despite Sam’s endearing attempts to include you in the conversation, you had merely hummed and nodded- too nervous to engage with this new Bucky Barnes.

So, now, you sat side by side in the back of the plane- waiting, begging, for the instruction to jump. As soon as it did come, Sam was gone- practically leaping from the plane as he flew towards the target. Bucky had faltered, glancing back at you momentarily as you had remained stoic; refusing to meet his gaze as you checked your weapons.

He cleared his throat, glancing downwards from the exit of the plane, “We got any chutes?”

“It’s too low.” Joaquin replied from the opening, gripping the handle as he remained stable. Bucky glanced back at you once again, a tinge of worry present in his features as he calculated the expanse of the drop before you. You rolled your eyes back, crossing your arms as you waited for him to jump. Clicking his tongue, he nodded- before throwing himself from the plane.

“Impressive,” you snorted as he screamed, grinning at Joaquin who attempted to stifle his laugh, “Good thing I thought to install gliders in my stealth suit instead of opting for a leather jacket.” At that you swan-dived from the entrance, allowing your suit to expand and form makeshift gliders. With feline-like precision, you landed on your two feet beside Bucky, splayed along the grass.

“Well, that was majestic.”

You scoffed, turning to jog after Red Wing as it began to lead the way to Sam’s location. Though, before you could; a weighted hand grasped at your sleeve, “Whoa, whoa. Hold on.” Bucky gasped, presumably exasperated from the fall, “Are you gonna talk to me or are you giving an old friend the silent treatment right now?”

Scoffing, you snatched your hands from the metal arm- an action only possible with his allowance, “What do we have to talk about, James?”

“Oh- come on Doll, James, seriously?” your heart sped at the nickname, your cheeks filling with heat as you turned your face away from Bucky, beginning the long run through the forest. You heard a sigh behind you, to which you ignored, you had nothing to discuss with him. He had obviously moved on, with no intention of using this meet up as a chance to potentially rekindle what had about to have been- right person, wrong time and all. But instead he had gone on a date. He had probably bought her flowers, drinks, and put on a nice outfit for her. The thought made your stomach churn, the polar opposite of butterflies swarming in your stomach. Jealousy. Out of curiosity, you just wanted to know who she was- check that she was a viable replacement, made him happy, was good looking and all. Though you couldn’t ask Bucky about it- why should you care anyway? The two of you had kissed once. Bucky probably didn’t even remember it, you thought to yourself.

The two of you jogged in silence; the heavy weight of what lay between you creating a dark cast upon your conscience. You well and truly pitied Sam. The Falcon came into view within the warehouse, crouched behind a shelf and watching the targets. As him and Bucky argued petulantly, you observed the group ahead- they were just kids. All young, fighting for what they believed was right; you saw a mirror image of your own young self. You watched as they entered the trucks- Sam scanned the trucks before realising that a hostage was potentially present within one of the vehicles. You swore, sprinting after Sam and Bucky.

“Wait!” you shouted, causing the others to come to a halt; both sharing confused looks, “Sam I need you to lift me so we can get extra eyes from the sky- I’m not as fast as the two of you on foot and I’m definitely not about to make James give me a piggyback.” Sam nodded, ensuring that he could lift you and fly at the same time- but not before sharing a confused look with Bucky, mouthing ‘James?’ to which Bucky only shook his head, shrugging. The two of you flew off, allowing you the opportunity to unholster your handguns and deliver a number of shots to the top of the truck.

“Drop me off on top!” you yelled up to Sam as you watched Bucky be thrown from one van and dragged to the top of another. His super-soldier strength inflicting damage upon each vehicle.

“Are you serious?” Sam shouted from above, “You’ll get yourself killed, look at them holding Bucky back right now.”

“Do it Sam.” you ordered, squirming in his arms until he deposited you on top of the trucks to which you instantly unclipped your throwing knives, depositing two into the necks of the two soldiers holding Bucky back. Though- it only angered them, allowing them to turn their attention to your human form. You swore, your hair whipping in the wind as they advanced towards you.

“Y/N!” Bucky yelled, fighting against the men holding him down, “Y/N, no!”

Delivering a fatal kick, the soldier finally reached you, grabbing you by the hair and slamming you into the top of the truck. Screaming, you mustered every tactic you’d ever been taught: elbows, legs, arms- any brutal bone was thrown against the soldier pinning you down. The man tutted, his anonymity within the mask only increasing your terror as cold eyes glared down at you. You realized that you had become used to fighting alongside super soldiers instead of against them.

You heard Bucky’s yell before you felt the impact of the floor- the trucks speeding away as you laid at the side of the road; each breath hitching with the intense pain within your body. Gritting your teeth, you rolled to your knees and crawled to the roadside; only to lose momentum and roll into a ditch. The fall would have been fatal if not for the protection of your suit- but the high velocity impact had still broken a number of bones. Licking your lips, the taste of acrid copper prevailed as you began to cough up flecks of blood; turning only to see that the grass around you was stained red.

“Shit.” your vision blurred dangerously- the pain merged into an unfocused haze, rendering your ability to identify your injuries useless. Fading in and out of consciousness, you listened to the wildlife around you and thought of Bucky. He would never know the origin of your anger- only remembering the cold mirage you had enacted towards him; opting to ignore him instead. Sobbing, you prayed for anyone, anything to find you; for Sam and Bucky to break free from the soldiers and come and find you, save you. You would apologise then- talk to Bucky, talk to him about whatever he wanted to say to you. It didn’t matter if you were just friends, if you met his new girlfriend- you just wanted to see him again.

Blood stained your chin at that point; the coughing and choking a constant motion as you couldn’t muster the strength to sit up; to allow your throat some reprieve. Your leg felt wrong, broken in different places and bent backwards at the knee. As your vision faded, you only thought of Bucky.

“Shit, shit Y/N,” a gust of wind hit you as the whoosh of wings closing sounded above, “Buck! I’ve found her, she’s over here.”

The sound of knees hitting the ground beside your head could be heard next, the impact causing your head to jostle, “Doll? Y/N, can you hear me, tell me you can hear me.” warmth surrounded you as you felt your head being lifted into a lap, a rough sleeve gently wiped the blood staining your chin, “Come on Y/N, don’t do this to me. Wake up.”

“Get her in the truck.” A foreign voice sounded, deep and arrogant in its timber.

“Get away from her,” the voice above you snapped, “we don’t know the extent to her injuries yet- we may not be able to lift her.”

“We need to get her to a hospital, Buck,” a voice that sounded like Sam’s spoke, “there’s still a heartbeat, we’ve got a chance.” Throughout the conversation above you, a trembling hand had caressed your face; smoothing the blood-matted hair away from your face and distracting you from the pain throughout your body. The hand was calloused but gentle- the feeling of it against your cheek vaguely familiar in your unconscious state. You faded in-and-out of consciousness from there, an ache resounding throughout your body as you were lifted and held against a firm chest; warmth radiating through the harsh material. Sweet nothings and comforts were whispered into your ear as the body stayed close, the hand firm against the side of your face; creating a comforting pressure. Reminding you that you could still be alive.

Eventually, you woke- the harsh lights of a hospital room blinding as your eyes adjusted; the last thing you had seen being the country roadside. Coughing, you retched at the sandpaper texture to your throat. A straw was quickly coaxed towards your mouth, Sam’s worrisome eyes staring down at you. You sipped from the straw, blinking as you truly adjusted to being conscious.

“Hey there,” Sam spoke as he gave you a watery smile, his eyes filling with tears, “We thought we’d lost you for a minute there.”

“Can’t lose me that easily,” you croaked, smiling at your best friend and reaching for his hand; to which he obliged.

“Thankfully not,” Sam laughed shakily, his gaze still clouded with emotion, “Y/N, I was the one to see you first and- we really didn’t know if you were going to make it. I mean there was so much blood and your leg-” you squeezed his hand tighter, you were alive, you were okay. Sam’s vision darkened suddenly, his hold on yours tightening. “You should have seen him Y/N.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you cocked your head at Sam, “Who?”

“Buck, he- the soldiers held him up so he watched as you were thrown. The scream he let out I- I’ve not seen him lose it like that during a fight in years, not since-”

“The Winter Soldier.” you finished, turning your gaze to your hands. Sam could only nod.

“He cares about you, Y/N. So much. He held you to his chest the entire journey here and we practically had to tear you from his arms when we arrived.”

“Why isn’t he here now then?

Sam’s face took a different cast then, one of confusion. “I- I’m not sure actually, he said he wanted to give us some space?” You reflected his look of confusion.

“Is he still in the hospital?”

“I assume so, it wasn’t too long ago that he left,” Sam stood then, giving you a kiss on the cheek and jogging towards the door- still in full Falcon gear, “I’m gonna send him in.”

It was only a number of moments later that Bucky rounded the entrance to the doorway, his expression stricken as he froze- staring at your opened eyes, at your steady breaths. A beat passed and he sighed, moving to occupy the vacant seat that Sam had been sitting in only moments earlier. “Hey, Doll.”

“Buck,” you sighed, reaching for his twitching hand that lay at the edge of your bed, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, a glint of anger and confusion in his eyes, “I’m okay? Y/N I watched you fall from a moving truck.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat straight; wincing slightly at the pain, “I was just say-”

“No, Y/N,” Bucky snapped, “you shouldn’t even have been there in the first place, I mean what were you thinking, jumping onto a truck and taking on super soldiers that were holding me down.”

“Wow, thanks-”

“Seriously. This easily could have been prevented if your boyfriend hadn’t agreed to carry you 100 feet into the air.”

“My what-”

“I mean, come on, surely he should have your best interests in mind. The whole thing was reckless from the beginning, if I was in his position I wouldn’t have brought you.”

You sat, shell shocked, Bucky thought you and Sam were together, “Is that why you weren’t here when I woke up?”

Bucky nodded then, hurt in his eyes as he scrubbed at his stubble, “Yeah- I mean, I wanted to, you know, give you space. Let you work things out I don’t know-”

You cackled, laughing right in his face- leading to an entirely unattractive coughing fit to which Bucky was forced to clap you on the back. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you chuckled, wiping at the tears rolling down your cheeks as you stared at the silly man before you, “Bucky, me and Sam aren’t together.”

Bucky paused, seemingly halting in his tracks as he gaped at you, “What?”

“We aren’t together.”

“But-” he shook his head, having seemingly lived a lie for however long he’d believed this, “but you two have been so close I mean- every time I talk to Sam he mentions things the two of you have been doing and you’re just so close and in tune with each other I thought-”

“We’re just friends Buck,” your mouth twisted, the clarity of the situation hitting you, “Why do you even care anyway? You have a girlfriend.”

“Oh for goodness sake.” Bucky was laughing now, standing and opting to pace the room, his face filled with mirth as he continued to scrub at his stubble, “I do not have a girlfriend.”

“Sam told me you went on a date.”

“Sam told you- yeah and he conveniently missed the part where I did that in an attempt to get over you.” Bucky threw his arms up then, his expression defeated as he spoke. You could only stare back, lips pursed, eyes wide.

“Get over me?”

“Yes.”

“But, I thought-” you shook your head, “after the battle, you-you left and we never spoke again. I thought you regretted what happened. I thought-”

“Every waking moment is spent thinking about that kiss, Doll,” Bucky sighed, circling the bed to sit back at your side, taking your hand in his, “I was mourning, my best friend was gone and I knew he was going to do it but I just- I would never be ready for it, you know. Sam found me later and he was telling me all of these stories about you and- God, I’m so stupid- I presumed that the two of you had gotten together so I kept my distance. I mean, I was so in love with you that I didn’t want to ruin that for you even despite what had happened between us and- I’m so sorry Y/N.”

Tears trickled down your cheeks as you stared at the ridiculous, gorgeous man before you; you laughed again, softer and tearier this time as you reached to grab Bucky’s face, mirroring the action that he had done to you during your unconscious state, “We are so ridiculous.”

Bucky laughed too then, moving to sit at the edge of your bed and tuck the loose hair behind your ears- his cheeks were crumpled; red with embarrassment and love and longing. He leaned forward then, careful in respect of your injuries, in order to capture your lips between his. This kiss was different from your first, it was slower, less urgent- your thumbs tracing figure-of-eights into his cheeks as you didn’t carry that same weight of uncertainty as you had last time. You smiled against each other's mouths, hands trailing each other’s bodies- the back of his head, his cheeks, his back, his neck, the brass of his metal arm.

You finally felt complete, like you knew where you belonged.

#bucky barnes x reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #extremely self indulgent #sam wilson #marvel #thunderbolts #use of the doll nickname iktrrrr

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vigilante-3073 · 3 months

Text

Helping Hand

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Putting together a bookshelf becomes a lot more complicated without the help of a super-soldier.

TW: Fluff, girl construction, mild flirting.

Y/N sat on the floor in the middle of the living room. Various wooden pieces were scattered around the floor along with a singular pink bowl filled with screws.

Y/N had bought a bookshelf to put up in the nearly empty apartment that she lived in with Bucky. The place could definitely use some decor in order to start feeling like an actual home.

She sat on the floor in front of the television as it played some overly dramatic reality show that Bucky insisted he loathed, but secretly loved.

Y/N put the screws into the wooden pieces with the backside of a metal nail file as the door opened.

"Doll, you home?" Bucky called, tossing his keys into the dish on the table by the door.

"In the living room!" She called without looking up from her project.

Bucky made his way into the living room, bright eyes finding the chaos that had unfolded while he was out.

"How was therapy?" Y/N asked, tightening one of the screws.

Bucky looked around the room slowly "What the hell are you doing?" Bucky questioned.

Y/N looked up at him, "Building a bookshelf," She stated plainly, turning her attention back to the pieces.

"We don't have any tools. What are you using?" Bucky asked, looking around for evidence of a recent trip to the hardware store.

"This," She said, holding up a nail file proudly.

"What is that?" Bucky asked, making his way over to her.

"My building nail file," Y/N said.

"You're seriously using a nail file to put together a bookshelf?" Bucky asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's worked out well for me so far," Y/N stated, looking down at the book of instructions.

"Did Steve let you put together stuff with that thing?" Bucky asked.

Y/N dropped her hands to her lap with a huff, "No," She admitted reluctantly.

"He always did it for me, but I swear I can do it myself," Y/N said, looking up at him.

Bucky sighed, squatting down beside her "What kind of screws are they?" He asked.

"I have no idea. They have a little 'x' on top," She said.

"I'm gonna run to the hardware store and them I'll help you put the rest of it together, okay?" Bucky questioned, she nodded.

...

Bucky lifted the bookshelf, sliding it back against the wall of the apartment. He took a step back, standing beside Y/N as they admired their handiwork.

It had taken Bucky under an hour to put together the rest of the shelf with the appropriate tools.

"Now that the shelf is put together, I bought you a little something to put on it. Wait here," She said, rushing out of the room.

She returned quickly with a blue gift bag, white tissue paper sticking out the top.

"You didn't have to buy me anything," He said.

She waved her hand, "It's a gift. Now, c'mon, open it," Y/N said, holding it out to him.

Bucky sighed, taking the bag from her hand and pushing aside the tissue paper. He reached into the bag and pulled out a boxed set of books.

His brow furrowed as he turned the plastic wrapped books in his hand, "This is The Lord of the Rings," He stated.

"Yeah, Sam told me that you read them when they first came out and I thought you might like to have a copy of your own," Y/N said.

Bucky stepped forward, tossing the gift bag onto the couch before placing the boxed set up onto one of the shelves.

He stepped back again, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her body close to his side. Bucky pressed his lips to the crown of her head, "Thank you for thinking of me, doll," He said softly.

"I always think of you," She stated, wrapping her arms around him.

He ran his hand over her back gently, "I do have to say, you did a pretty good job with that nail file," Bucky said.

"That's girl construction, for you," Y/N smiled.

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #bucky barns fanfiction

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rocketrhap3000 · 11 months

Text

hint dropped

summary: while looking at rings online, you accidentally click a “send a hint” feature addressed to Bucky’s email, despite never having that conversation with him and not even knowing whether or not that’s something he wants, but his reaction surprises you :)

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so long holy macaroni

warnings: topic of marriage, mentions of sex, a wee bit of angst + miscommunications, reader is kinda insecure, otherwise this is pure silly and soft fluff lol

my main masterlist

You hadn’t intended for it to go this way. Really, you hadn’t.

When Wanda had told you about the website, you only meant to look at rings for fun. But the more you started looking, the more you could picture the rings on your finger, and the more you could picture your wedding day with Bucky, and the more you could imagine your entire future together.

It’s cliche, but Bucky Barnes makes you the happiest person on the planet.

However, in just over the year you’ve been together, marriage has never been something you and Bucky have ever discussed, so you really had no idea of his perspective on this whole topic. You thought the idea would scare him, judging by his reactions to anything to do with weddings, including when you invited him to be your plus one to your cousin’s wedding just a month prior.

“I don’t know why people enjoy these things. It just seems so stressful,” he told you in your hotel room after the rehearsal dinner, which, to be fair, was completely valid.

Your cousin had been freaking out the entire afternoon, her soon-to-be groom was stressed out seeing her so anxious, and neither of them seemed happy at dinner whatsoever. So, you couldn’t figure out if Bucky was talking about the chaos of the preparation and ceremony and all the work that a wedding entails, or the actual commitment of marriage itself.

Deep down, you know that you and Bucky are truly in love; he makes you feel extremely loved and cared for, and you could never question his loyalty to you. But a part of you is still just so scared to bring it up. You’ve only been dating for barely over a year, and you don’t really know about any of his past relationships.

Is a year long enough for Bucky to know whether or not he sees a future with you?

Sadly, those doubts didn’t discourage you from looking at rings. They should have, though, because then you wouldn’t have this problem.

The website’s supposed-to-be-cute ‘drop a hint’ feature didn’t have a second confirmation screen, and Bucky’s email is one of the default fill-ins on your laptop. So when you accidentally clicked his email into the box, it was sent before you could even realize what you had just done.

Doubts and fears flood your mind. He’s going to think you're too much. He’s not going to want to commit this early on. He’s not nearly into the relationship as deeply as you are.

Scrambling through his desk drawers in search of his own laptop, you only realize your search is pointless when you hear Bucky walking through the main door. He’s just getting back from a meeting with the team. He obviously has his laptop with him.

“Honey, I’m home,” his chipper voice calls out your favorite, cheesy way for him to announce his arrival.

You hurriedly sort the drawers of his desk back in an attempt to restore them to how you found them before racing out of his office to meet him in the front entryway.

“Hi, Sweets,” he whispers with a smile, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Have you checked your email lately?” you ask frantically, accidentally ignoring his loving act.

“Wow, what a greeting,” he jokes, then chuckles as his thumbs rub gently over your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you say sheepishly, reaching your hand up the back of his neck and giving him a real kiss - longer and more meaningful - to make up for it. He smiles and hums against your lips, enjoying the contact just as much as you are. “How was it?” you ask quietly, rubbing his shoulders and glancing at his tired eyes.

“Mm, boring,” he mumbles, keeping you from going too far. “Glad I can spend the rest of the day with you,” he answers, pulling you back in and kissing your temple.

“So have you?” you ask, again, completely ignoring his affection towards you.

“Have I what?” he frowns, clearly confused.

“Checked your email,” you finish. But the second the words come out of your mouth, you feel bad. You don’t mean to dwell on the topic, but quite frankly, it’s the only thing that you can think about.

“Uh, no. Not recently,” he chuckles again. “Why do you ask? Should I check my email?”

“No! No reason!” you exclaim, parting from him.

“Must be some reason if that was the first thing you asked me when I walked in the door,” he jokes.

You ignore his remark, turning the other way and walking towards the living room.

“(Y/n),” he calls, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to him. “Why do I need to check my email?” he asks in a whisper while a goofy smile dances across his lips.

You hope he can’t feel your hands shaking and your pulse beating like a drum. He looks expectantly at you with those big baby blues, and your heart aches.

“It’s nothing!” you finally say.

“Sweets, if it takes that long for you to say it’s nothing, then it’s something,” he smiles worriedly.

Bucky’s witty. Too clever for his own good. And for yours, too, since he knows you better than you know yourself. So you think of an excuse.

It’s not a great one, but it will have to do.

“Well, I was thinking you should probably empty your spam,” you mutter.

“My sp— Sweetheart, what?” he laughs.

“Yeah apparently there’s a spam virus going around infecting peoples laptops,” you mumble, and Bucky looks so confused. “Here, you can go get changed and unwind! I’ll do it for you,” you smile, trying to act natural, but you are far past that by now.

“I know I’m not great with technology, but I’m pretty sure Stark Tech is pretty impenetrable,” he chuckles, rubbing a hand over your cheek.

“Well, let me check anyway?” you offer, reaching to take the backpack off of his shoulders. But Bucky doesn’t let the straps slide off.

“You are being really weird right now, Sweets,” he chuckles, grabbing your hands, pulling them off his shoulders, and tugging them behind him, lovingly forcing you into a hug.

“No I’m not,” you whine quietly, leaning your forehead on his chest.

“Yeah, ya are,” he laughs again, pulling your head up to meet your eyes and kissing your nose. “I am gonna go shower and change, and you are more than welcome to join me if you’d like,” he invites softly with a wink.

And as desperately as you want to get that email out of his inbox, you know any further attempts are futile. You’ve made him suspicious now. He’s going to find that email no matter what.

“I’ll stay down here,” you shake your head and swallow thickly.

“Something really must be up,” he frowns teasingly. “You never turn down shower sex.”

You know he’s just trying to get you to smile, but it doesn’t work. You stay silent. But Bucky reads you like a book.

“What’s this all about, Sweetheart? What’s got you so upset?”

“I’m fine,” you shake your head again.

“You’re obviously not fine. I know something’s buggin’ you. But I’m not gonna pry. At least not until later,” he pokes your side, causing you to curl into yourself.

“Stop,” you giggle, trying to hide your smile. He does as you say, taking his hands off of you the second you ask him to.

But you lean into him again, resting your chin on his shoulder and sighing before pulling away and looking at him. He cups your face in his spacious hands, letting his thumbs run over your cheeks.

“You know I was just teasing about the shower sex thing, right? You don’t ever have to make an excuse to me.” he whispers. You nod in his hands. “And you know I love you so much, right?” You nod again.

“I love you, too,” you mumble back nervously against his lips.

“I’ll be back down soon,” he promises, then laughs lightly. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re not joining me. I really do need to actually shower.”

With another kiss to your forehead, you watch as he turns around and heads for the bedroom to shower and change.

You know Bucky. He’s curious. And you weren’t exactly subtle in trying to get ahold of his laptop. You know he’s going to check his email the second he gets into the bedroom. So instead of sulking about it, you busy yourself with starting on some dinner for the two of you.

But, maybe he won’t check his email. Maybe he won’t even find out. Maybe it went straight to his junk inbox where it got lost among dozens of other emails and will delete itself in 30 days. Maybe it didn’t even send. Maybe it will all be fine.

~♡~

Half an hour later, you’re still deep in the spiral of anxiety over this stupid email fiasco. Alpine makes an appearance in the kitchen, brushing up against your leg before leaping up onto the kitchen stool to let you know she’s in need of some love, and also bringing you a little comfort. You give her some scratches while deep in thought, wishing she could give you advice on how to deal with this situation.

However, your train of thought is interrupted when you hear Bucky’s footsteps echo down the hall, until he’s standing right behind you, arms slinking around your torso to hold you close. The white cat leaps down from the seat and scurries off to the living room, as if to give her mom and dad a moment alone.

“Smells good,” he compliments, pressing a kiss to the space just behind your ear.

“You smell good,” you sigh as you inhale a wave of his aroma - a mix of your lavender laundry detergent, and the oaky fresh scent of his body wash. Then, turning around in his grasp, you lean off of him just enough to hand him a plate of food. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” he murmurs, and the two of you head to the living room with your plates of dinner to watch the next episode of the series you’ve been watching together.

But once you’re settled on the couch with dinner in your laps and the tv going, you still can't find it in you to draw your thoughts away from the email. He’s had to have seen it by now, right? He had to have checked when he went to shower. Why hasn’t he brought it up yet?

You glance over at him, his dark hair is still damp yet fluffy and curly, and his cheeks are still rosy from the hot water of his shower. He’s just too cute. If you weren’t so anxious about the current situation, you would’ve snuggled right up with him and let yourself zone out to the tv.

Bucky smiles when he catches you staring at him, clearly lost in thought again, then leans over to kiss your nose. You shake your head and scoff bashfully before he grabs both of your finished plates to set them on the coffee table. Next, he’s pulling you into his side as his arm rests behind you, sighing contently.

“So…” he starts off with a kiss to your temple. “My laptop is, indeed, virus-free,” he finishes quietly.

Your stomach drops.

You knew it. He found out.

“Yeah?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You sit up from his embrace, taking a sip of water from your glass on the table as an excuse to space yourself from him just a little.

“Yeah,” he confirms, placing a hand on your back and rubbing gently. You glance back over to him just briefly as he continues. “But there was something else that caught my attention,” he smiles, tilting his head.

“Oh?” you query, settling back against the couch, but further away from him, as you turn back to stare blankly at the tv screen, trying your best to play dumb for as long as you can.

“Darlin’,” he starts, and you think you might pass out because of how fast your heart is beating. ”Why was there a... catalogue... for wedding rings with the caption ‘take a hint!’ in my inbox?” he laughs lightly.

“Mm?” you barely respond, your voice hardly coming out. “No clue.”

“Oh, really?” he smiles. “That... wouldn’t be what you were trying to hide from me, would it?”

He waits a second, knowing you’re pretending to not hear him, then grabs the remote to click off the tv.

“Sweets,” he chuckles lightly, gently turning you to face him.

Tears begin to burn at the back of your eyes and your throat feels like it’s wrapped in barbed wire. You swallow hard, finally making eye contact with Bucky.

His eyes are soft and understanding, shimmering with a certain sparkle that always brings you so much comfort. You know he loves you so much.

“Is this what you were freaking out about?” he asks again softly.

You nod hesitantly, chest tightening with panic.

“I didn’t mean to send it to you!” you exclaim, choking back tears.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he laughs softly, reaching out to cup your face with his right hand.

“So… so you’re not mad?” you say as your bottom lip wobbles.

A tear rolls down your cheek when you blink and you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“Mad? Sweetheart, of course not,” he coos, swiping the tear from your cheek. “Why in the world would I be mad?”

Your chest immediately feels lighter and your head stops spinning once you recognize he’s not upset at all.

“I don’t know,” you answer bashfully and with a sniffle. “We’ve never really talked about it. And we’ve only been together for a year. I mean, that’s not that long in the grand scheme of things. So I didn’t know how you felt.”

“Felt about what?” he asks sweetly, slightly tilting his head in confusion.

“Getting married,” you answer quietly, casting your gaze to your lap.

“(Y/n),” he begins, lifting your face to get you to look up at him. When you do, his ocean blue eyes stare right into yours, and another great wave of comfort washes over you. “I want it all with you. Everything.”

“Everything?” you ask shyly.

“Yes, everything,” he chuckles. “Plenty more dates. An engagement. A beautiful wedding. An incredible honeymoon,” he leans forward to kiss you slowly, and you giggle giddily when he pulls away. “And maybe even a kid or two. Or maybe just a dog or another cat. I know Alpine would make the best big sister. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. I want it all with you, Sweetheart,” he repeats.

“You do?” you sniffle again.

“Of course I do. I absolutely see a future with you, (Y/n). I couldn’t imagine it without you. I’m so sorry that I made you think otherwise.”

“It’s not your fault,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his cheek. “You know how I overthink.”

Well, still. I should’ve been more direct with my feelings,” he turns his head to kiss your palm. “How long have you been worrying about this, Sweets?”

“Bucky, it’s really okay,” you assure him. “I’ve always kind of wondered, but it really wasn’t until this morning, when I was… looking at rings,” you admit.

“Okay,” he chuckles. “But will you let me know if there’s a style or a specific ring that’s caught your attention? I just gotta know. Just… for future reference,” he winks slyly.

“I mean, there are a few I liked,” you shrug shyly.

“Well, let me see!” he says, jumping from the couch to run and grab his laptop.

“Bucky,” you laugh, trying to get him to stay, but he’s far stronger than you are, and he breaks away, grabs his laptop, and sprints back to the couch to secure you in his embrace in a matter of seconds.

“Show me,” he softly demands, clicking on the link from the email, which pulls up the website as he hands the laptop over to you.

“Okay,” you giggle as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him as you scroll through the choices to find the one that caught your eye. “There was... this one.”

“That’s gorgeous, Sweetheart,” he murmurs, kissing your shoulder. “So many to choose from, too. You’d look perfect with any of ‘em.”

“Bucky,” you smile bashfully, and a giddy heat settles on your cheeks at his compliment.

“It’s true!” he insists, then hums before speaking up again. “So... on a completely unrelated note...” you see a playful smirk form on his beautiful face. “What is your ring size... and where’s your dream vacation destination?”

Laughter escapes from your chest - relieved that the entire situation has been resolved and you had been worried for nothing.

“I guess I’m not sure of either just yet,” you reply, and Bucky laughs along with you.

“Well, let me know when you have an answer. ‘Cause I can’t imagine making my girl wait much longer,” he whispers the last part, and your heart flutters in your chest, prompting you to shut the laptop, set it on the coffee table in front of you, and snuggle up with Bucky, wrapping your arms around his strong frame.

“I love you, Bucky,” you murmur into his chest.

“I love you most, Sweetheart,” he echoes, kissing the top of your head and already starting to plan how he’ll ask you to marry him.

Because little did you, or even Bucky, know that your little technology mishap was just the encouragement he needed to get that ring, plan a romantic getaway, and propose, starting off a beautiful future together.

~~~

a/n: thank you so much for reading! if you enjoyed it, i would love to hear your feedback and would greatly appreciate a reblog! 💘🫶

#bucky barnes #tfatws #marvel #avengers #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #the winter soldier #the white wolf #the falcon and the winter soldier #sebastian stan

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sebstan2020 · 4 months

Text

Sebastian Stan Fanfiction Masterlist

Bucky Barnes

Red Ties - Bucky Barnes

The King - Bucky Barnes

The Rise of Hydra - Bucky Barnes

The Captains Daughter - Bucky Barnes

Trespassing - Bucky Barnes

The Presidents Daughter - Bucky Barnes

A Slave for You - Bucky Barnes

She Works for the Devil - Bucky Barnes

At His Service - Bucky Barnes

Territory - Bucky Barnes

New World Order - Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Companion - Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers

Repaying the Debt - Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes One shots

Steve Kemp

Not Leaving - Steve Kemp

Max Burnett

The Sharpest Lies - Max Burnett

Max Burnett One shots

Nick Fowler

Nick Fowler One shots

Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan One shots

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preciousbarnes · 1 year

Text

By Your Side

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You get badly injured on a mission, and Bucky doesn't handle it well.

Word Count: 1.7k

Tags: Established Bucky x Reader, Agent!Reader, Explosions, Bodily Injury, Near Death Experience, Hospital Setting

It had been as routine as any mission could be. You, Sam, and Bucky were tasked to break into an old WWII bunker which held files containing information about a weapon that was at risk for resurfacing. The government wanted the files back in their hands before they could fall into someone else’s.

You all stood in the musky smelling dark bunker, everything covered in a thick layer of dust, not seeming to have been touched in decades. You were quickly gathering the old paper files into your backpack, when there was a sudden, persistent beeping to your right.

“Forget to turn off your alarm, agent?” Sam joked, making you and Bucky laugh.

You shook your head, before your eyes widened in realization. You all had let your guard down upon entering the bunker. With all the dust, you never imagined it could have all been staged to look untouched. You all made the mistake of being too comfortable. Too self-assured. And you were about to reap the consequences.

“Bomb!” You yelled, right as the beeping became constant.

Then, a bright flash and deafening boom, as your body was thrown back from the blast. You felt a sharp, searing sensation in your abdomen, overwhelming the pain you felt in the base of your skull. You laid there on the cold concrete floor, disoriented, your vision blurred as you tried desperately to regain your bearings. Looking up you see a dark figure running to your side, a muffled sound of your name being called. Once the figure got closer, you could make out that it was Bucky.

His face, once it was in your vantagepoint, worried you. The usually stoic man on missions with the thousand-yard stare was obviously rattled, his eyes wide, hands ghosting over your form, afraid to touch you, like he was in fear he may hurt you more. Your eyes left his face to follow where he was looking, down at your abdomen, where the burning and constant ache was.

There it was. A metal pipe had pierced you during the explosion, now lodged in your stomach. There was blood pooling around the wound and on the floor under you, unsettlingly warm against the cool concrete. You swallowed dryly, before looking back up to Bucky, who looked utterly lost. That’s when Sam finally came into view. He had some scrapes and already forming bruises, but it was clear that you had taken the worst of the blast, being so close to the bomb.

“We need a medic in here, stat. Does anyone copy?” You heard Sam call through the coms, hearing a quick but dull reply you couldn’t make out respond soon after his order.

“They’re coming as fast as they can. How are you feeling?” Sam asks, kneeling on the other side of you, glancing up to Bucky to gage his condition before returning his focus to you.

“I-I’m cold, and s-so sleepy, Sam” You say hoarsely.

This seems to awaken Bucky, he begins sternly shaking his head, hand coming to firmly grasp yours. He recognized the signs. Cold. Sleepy. Signs of massive blood loss. Possible internal bleeding. Early signs of a fate he didn’t want for you.

“Doll, no, y’gotta stay awake. Stay awake for me, okay?” He says quickly, his metal hand coming up to push the hair out of your face and gently tuck it behind your ear. As he pulls his hand back, he notices his fingertips are coated in blood. Your blood. You had an injury to the back of your skull. His eyes widen at the sight of more of your blood, before he schools his expression back as much as he can, trying to look calm for your benefit, when he feels anything but calm.

“I- I don’t think I can, Buck. I’m so tired,” You tell him softly, before a cough works it's way up your throat, the force of it jarring your body and making you wince in pain.

Tears sprang to Bucky’s eyes as he shook his head once again. He knew what it meant if you went to sleep. He’d seen it play out way too many times on battlefields. You wouldn’t wake back up.

“Please, sweetheart, stay with me.” He pleaded with you, grasping your hand tighter, pulling it up to his lips to kiss gently.

“James,” you began, blinking a few times in effort to stay awake long enough to tell him what you felt compelled to tell him. You weren’t stupid. You knew you were in bad shape, with the likelihood of your survival getting slimmer by each passing moment the medics were taking to get to you.

“I-I love you, James. It’s okay. If I have to go, I’d want it to be like this. D-doing the work I believe in, and getting to be with you. You’ll be okay, Jamie.” You told him, voice shaky.

Tears begin to fall down Bucky’s face as he cries without abandon, shaking his head once again, hair flopping around with the viciousness of the shakes.

“No. You can’t leave me. Not like this. You can't tell me you love me like this. Save it for when you’re better. Not like this.” He begs between sobs.

Sam rises to his feet, calling on the coms that they needed help now, that things were looking grim. Your eyes begin to drift shut on their own accord, unable to keep them open any longer. You begin to fall into what feels like a deep sleep, Bucky’s cries being the last thing you heard, each one breaking your heart.

The first thing you heard was a soft and steady beep, accompanied by the sterile smell that medical facilities always had. You felt the weight of a hand in yours, recognizing the callouses belonging to your boyfriend. You slowly blink your eyes open, taking in the soft lighting of the room in the medical bay of the avenger’s compound. Usually it was you siting in Bucky’s place after Bucky did something reckless on a mission. This was the first time things were the other way around. You gently turn your head, wincing at the stiffness in your neck, making you wonder how long you had been out. There he was.

Bucky looked disheveled. His shoulder length hair was tied back in a messy buns, strains sticking out haphazardly all over the place. He was in sweatpants and a wrinkled t-shirt. His head was resting on the side of your bed, head turned to the side, giving you a view of his dark circles and scruff that had grown out longer than he normally allowed it. He looked how your body felt; a wreck.

You gently brought the hand that wasn’t incased in Bucky’s over to his head, gently and soothingly running your fingertips over his face. At the touch, he slowly opened his eyes, his widening upon seeing that you were awake.

“Baby, my god it's so good seeing those eyes again,” He said, voice gruff from lack of use. He had barely spoken since you had fell asleep back at the sight of the blast. He looked so relieved, like he could finally breathe again. If you looked closer, there were some tears gathered in his eyes.

“Hi Jamie,” you said softly, voice also hoarse from lack of use.

Hearing your voice and the nickname, he smiled softly, grabbing a cup of water from the stand by your hospital bed and holding it so you could get a drink. You took a few gulps, thanking him afterwards.

“How are you feeling, doll? Any pain?” He asked you, hand caressing your cheek as you leaned into his touch.

You took a moment to survey your body. You could feel the presence of a bandage wrap around your midsection, no doubt covering the wound and incision from the emergency surgery you were sure you had to have. You also noticed the presence of other bandaged dispersed along your limbs, due to smaller cuts and scrapes from the blast. While you were sure you were quite a sight, you didn’t feel any pain.

“No pain, but what’s the damage?” You ask.

“Two cracked ribs, a large gash to the back of your head that went down to your skull, so you’ve got 7 staples back there. The pipe that went through you luckily missed your major organs. They had to do some repairs to your intestines, and they had to remove your appendix that was damaged from the pipe. You’ve got a nasty concussion and some cuts and bruises. You’ve been unconscious for 4 days,” He lists off your injuries from memory.

A silence falls between the both of you. You look down at your hands held in Bucky’s, his thumb gently brushing back and forth on the tops of your hands.

“God, baby. You scared the life out of me,” He says, voice breaking at the end.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky. I should’ve been more careful,” You tell him, hating the pain you’ve caused him.

His head jerks up at your apology before he scoffs softly and shakes his head.

“No, doll. I should have been more careful. It's my job to watch your six. I’m so, so, sorry I failed,” He says with a sniffle, trying to hold back tears.

“You didn’t fail. It was made to look untouched, undisturbed for decades. We had no reason to suspect anything. We will be more careful next time, all of us. This was no ones fault,” You tell him sternly, willing him to understand that he is not responsible.

“I thought I was going to lose you, baby. I thought I was losing you without ever telling you I love you,” He whispers.

You smile softly, reaching up to tuck an unrulily strand of hair back behind his ear.

“You can tell me now,” you offer.

“I love you doll. I always have.” He tells you, a reverent tone taking over his voice, overcome with emotions he thought he’d never feel again.

You both lean in and softly kiss. You know the road to full recovery is going to be long, but you would do anything with your Bucky by your side.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #preciousbarnes fics #marvel fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction

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onceuponastory · 1 year

Text

the story of you - bucky barnes x reader

“If I’m out of line, Just show me the door I promise you, I I won’t come here no more” - door by i don’t know how, but they found me

Plot: Bucky and the late night bartender in an almost empty bar make a connection. If only he could get over his past. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (very slight) Warnings: A few mentions of Bucky’s past as the Winter Soldier (but nothing too graphic), alcohol, blood, and the anxiety and negative feelings/self doubt about himself he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: This is just a little, short Bucky thing I wrote. I hope you like it. Thank you to @thesundrop / @astartothemoon for my divider! Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

Will this be continued? Let’s see, LMAO.

“Rough night, huh?” Bucky looks up and sees the face of the bartender staring back at him. A small smile plays on her lips. Bucky feels himself blushing. So much for being understated. That’s why he came to this bar, one away from his apartment, in the first place. This is a place where nobody knows him, and where he can just be Bucky Barnes for a while. Not the Winter Soldier, and not the monster. At least they can’t see his metal arm. At least the bartender is cute, though. He glances at the name tag on her shirt that reads “Y/N”.

“It’s that easy to tell, huh?” he chuckles awkwardly. But then again, it’s not too difficult to assume that a man like him would be sitting alone in an almost empty bar on a Tuesday night. Especially not when they look as tired and haunted as Bucky does. Honestly, he’s surprised she hasn’t said anything by now. He braces himself for a probing question. Instead, though, she simply shrugs.

“Nah, not really. Haven’t seen you around, and you’ve been knocking a lot of those back. It was pretty obvious something’s up.” Oh. Yeah, that’ll do it. “I will say, though, you can hold your liquor much better than our regulars. That’s a pretty big achievement.” She praises. Of course, Y/N has no idea that the reason Bucky doesn’t feel the effects of alcohol is because of the serum. The same one that was forced upon him all those years ago. He wishes he does feel the effects, though. That way, he could have something to block out everything he’s been through. All the pain, all the fear, all the bloodshed…he wouldn’t remember a thing. That would be perfect.

Instead, though, Bucky chuckles, forcing the same smile as he always does. The one he uses to mask all his pain and torment. “Well, thanks.” He lifts the bottle to his lips, drinking the last remnants of his beer. “You’re good at guessing, huh?”

“I know almost everything there is to know about people in here.” She replies, sliding over another beer, which Bucky graciously accepts. “It comes with the job. Either that, or I just make up an exciting story. It’s a good way to pass the time when the place is practically empty and I’m bored.” She admits, and they both laugh. “What’s your name then, stranger?”

“Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you, Bucky.” Y/N smiles. She holds her hand out over the bar, which Bucky shakes. “I’m Y/N. If you couldn’t already tell from the name tag, that is.” Bucky finds himself wondering what it would be like to know Y/N outside of work, to know what stories she has to tell, and the things she’s seen.

“She’s just being nice to you because she has to. It’s her job. Who says she’d want to go out with you?” A little voice in his head tells him. The same one who tells Bucky every day that he should’ve died on that train. Then he wouldn’t be so messed up now. Bucky takes another swig of his beer, hoping that somehow, this time, it works, and that those voices will go away.

If only things really worked like that.

“Oh I wanna see this. What about that man in the corner?” Bucky asks after scanning the room, trying desperately to change the subject and distract himself.

“Well, he’s only ordered a few drinks.” She furrows her brows, deep in thought. Bucky finds himself smiling once more. “I say he’s secretly a millionaire, trying to blend in and find some poor, lowly worker to surprise with his fortune. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part.” Y/N laughs awkwardly. “Then I wouldn’t be stuck in this job.” She murmurs. The disappointment and heartbreak in her voice makes Bucky sigh. Sure, he’s only just met Y/N tonight, but she’s been one of the few to actually speak to him for more than a few minutes. It’s part of her job, but after so long of being tortured, having his mind wiped and being unwanted, having a conversation with someone who doesn’t know who he is is a nice change. Someone who treats him like a human being, rather than immediately thinking about what he did for so many years.

It means more to him than she’ll ever know. If he could, he’d give her anything she wants. “Anyway, how about you?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think his story is?”

“Oh! Um, I don’t know. I say he’s looking for something, hoping he’ll find it here. Maybe the love of his life.” Y/N smiles.

“Ahh, so you’re a romantic then?” Y/N winks, and Bucky nods. At least, he used to be. Now, though, after going through everything he has, Bucky has lost hope in his romantic conquests. People like him don’t deserve any love or companionship.

Y/N and Bucky spend the next few hours talking, making up stories about the others in the bar. Surprisingly, both of them are getting along pretty well, and have a lot more in common than expected. That is, however, until: “Can I guess what your story is?” Y/N asks. Bucky’s eyes widen. She cannot know about his past. Y/N studies him, biting her lip slightly as she looks over him. “I think you might be looking for something new, too. Maybe a connection.” She explains after a while. She grins, and Bucky feels his heart rate rising. “But I also think you’re a bit of an enigma, Bucky. For all I know, you could be a spy.” Oh, if only she knew.

“Can I try to guess what your story is?” Bucky asks. Y/N’s face falls, her smile gone. Immediately, Bucky feels guilty. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean any-”

“No, no. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Y/N shakes her head, waving her hands in dismissal. “Finding out about people is my job. You don’t have to worry about that.” She chuckles. Yet still, Bucky can tell there’s something there. Something she doesn’t want anyone to know about. And he’s just walked right in and brought all those bad feelings to the surface. His guilt increases. He’s ruined everything again, just like he always does. Maybe the voice was right. Maybe he doesn’t deserve a friend like Y/N after all.

Quickly, Bucky gets up, placing some bills on the bar. “Well, I better go. I think it’s time for me to go to bed.”

“Wait, you’re going? You don’t have to Bucky, it’s-“

“No, it's fine! Honestly, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Keep the change, alright?” Y/N tries to argue back, to stop him. But Bucky is already at the door to the bar before she can stop him. As his hand reaches out, touching the doorknob, for a moment Bucky stops. And he wonders whether he should stay. He almost turns back, back to Y/N and to his new beginning, his new chance for friendship. But then he remembers everything he’s done, and how he can’t drag Y/N into his messy, bloodstained life.

And so, Bucky opens the door and steps into the cold New York air.

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#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel oneshot #the falcon and the winter soldier fanfiction

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runawrites-blog · 6 months

Text

Trust (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: You notice it during a quiet evening spent with Bucky and then it won't leave your head again. Bucky is afraid of touching you with his vibranium arm, going out of his way to avoid doing so. You take it upon yourself to try and show him that he doesn't have to worry that you're not afraid, and that you trust him completely. (Gender Neutral Reader) Word Count: 6,092 Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Mild Discussions of Past Traumatic Events, Mild Violence and Mentions of Fighting, No Y/N, Petnames (Doll, Love), Non-Graphic Smut Scene (To avoid it skip from "It was three days later" and continue at "You moved your hands", so skip the first paragraph there. Please do not read it and instead skip it if you are not 18+/ Skip it if you are a Minor) Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51380476

---

The first time you noticed it, was during a stormy night which you had spent curled up in your bed with Bucky, reading a book while he was lying by your side, his head on your chest and his right arm looped around your waist. Eventually, you decided to turn down for the night, and seeing as Bucky had not moved for the past hour or so, you were careful as you put your book down and turned off the light, assuming that he had fallen asleep. But as you gingerly shimmied down on the bed he looked up at you and you gave him an apologetic look, thinking you’d woken him up.

“Sorry, Bucky, I just wanted to lie down so we can turn in for the night.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head as you settled on your pillow. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t, Sweetheart. I was about to drift off.”

“You could have if you were tired, Love. I wouldn’t have minded.” You soothed, lips moving down to his cheek. “Why didn’t you?”

“Better safe than sorry.” He sat up and you watched as he reached up to detach his vibranium arm before putting it down close to the bed and lying back down next to you. “Now we can finally settle down.”

His words made you still in your movements, a terrible suspicion dawning on you that painted a lot of his previous actions in a completely different light. Bucky usually preferred to hold your hand with his right one and always had you sit by that side. During intimate moments he never touched you with his left hand and solely used it for keeping his balance. Every time you shared a bed he detached his arm before settling down. You had always assumed that it was simply more comfortable to sleep without the metal arm weighing him down and had it not been for his words you would have continued to think so but now you knew that this was not the only reason.

Bucky was afraid of hurting you with his vibranium arm.

For a few seconds, you mulled over that suspicion, thinking about how to breech the subject, how to assure him that you trusted him not to hurt you, to talk about his fears. But you were at a loss and when Bucky turned halfway back onto his stomach, head settling on your shoulder and face buried at your neck as his right arm looped around your waist you decided to not speak up about it for now. Bucky was exhausted from a long day and you wanted to offer him the comfort and safety he needed. So you just wrapped your arms around him and buried your nose in his hair.

“Sleep well.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his head. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Bucky mumbled back, voice soft as he held onto you tightly. “Sleep well, Sweetheart.”

“With you by my side, I always do.”

Against your skin, you could feel his mouth turn into a smile and despite your worries, you felt grateful that he was at the very least smiling and that he seemed comfortable. But his words still circled your head. Bucky was afraid of hurting you with his metal arm and he was actively going out of his way to keep it away from you. You wanted nothing more than to prove to him that his worries were unfounded but you didn’t know how to go about it -- and even if you did, you knew he wouldn’t believe you.

When the next morning rolled around, waking you with the rays of sun that gently fell in through the curtains and had long since chased the rain away, it only took your thoughts a few seconds to circle back to the previous night. A frown overtook your features as you once more thought about what to do but before you could come up with an idea a hand reached up to gently carass your cheek.

“What’s got you frowning first thing in the morning, Doll?”

You looked down at Bucky and gave him a soft smile. “Nothing important, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t too heavy, was I? I keep telling you that if me sleeping halfway on top of you is too heavy you have to tell me so I can move.”

“No, that’s really not it, I swear.” You said, chuckling softly as you shook your head. “If anything I like having your weight on me. You’re like my personal weighted blanket.”

Bucky leaned up to kiss your cheek before he slowly sat up and you admired how his body stretched in the warm sunlight, outlining his features. For a moment you allowed yourself to smile at his domestic moment with your partner. But when he reached for his arm to reattach it to where it hooked into his shoulder all the concern from the previous night came back and once more you thought about what to do to ease his worries. You still knew that he would not believe you if you simply told him these things but perhaps it was worth a try to show him that you did not share his worries even in the slightest. So, you decided to make it your mission to prove this to Bucky.

---

You tried to show him that you were not scared of his arm just about half an hour later after you had gotten out of the shower and found him making breakfast in the kitchen. Since the two of you had a date at a current exhibition at the local museum planned for the day Bucky was preparing a quick breakfast, cutting some fruit up, and setting the table with all the things he knew you liked. He was currently cutting up an apple into slices when you entered, his back turned to the door, and you quietly made your way toward him before draping yourself across his back though you still made sure to make enough noise so that he would hear you approach and wouldn’t be startled.

“Thank you for preparing something to eat.” You whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek before you moved around and embraced his left arm, leaning your head against the metallic shoulder of it. “What do you say? Should we bring lunch with us or should we try to find a place to eat while we’re out?”

Bucky froze a little as you leaned into his vibranium arm and quickly turned around, leaning against the counter, subtly but effectively turning the arm away from you with his right side now facing you. “I say we go find something while we’re out.”

“Are you looking forward to the exhibition?” You asked with a smile, trying to ignore his actions so as to not make him uncomfortable. “I know you’ve been very interested in space travel lately.”

“Can you blame me?” Bucky joked, returning your smile. “I recently learned about how much further we have come in terms of space travel in the last decades. It’s really amazing, I have to say.”

“I’m not blaming you at all. I’m really interested in it, too, and I think your interest in science is really charming.” With another small kiss on his cheek, you moved away to sit down at the table. “Your excitement about it is quite frankly adorable.”

“Adorable?” Bucky chuckled as he sat down opposite you. “I am far from adorable.”

“I’d beg to differ. When you smile in amazement at a piece in the museum or your eyes light up when you get to listen to someone’s stories of space travel you’re so sweet that I can barely handle it.”

“What can I say? I’ve always been interested in science, even back in the fourties.” Bucky smiled softly as he began to eat. “Steve and I would go to science fairs, exhibitions, and museums all the time.”

“Tell me more about that, please.”

---

You hoped the museum would give you more opportunities to show Bucky that you were not afraid of his vibranium arm, planning on trying to hold his left hand or onto his arm. Unfortunately, you found that you never got the right opportunity to hold onto his arm because you never stood in one spot long enough to cuddle up to him and you never had the chance to hold his left hand because he kept the guide to the exhibition clutched in that one. You resigned to try again later and simply enjoyed your date with your boyfriend, smiling at his excitement and interest, reading all the informational signs, and looking out for the things you had encountered on the few space missions you had been on.

“Can you believe we’ve been in one of these before in actual space?” Bucky asked as you made your way through the recreated interior of a space ship and you knew that he was referring to your latest mission where the two of you had set out on a spaceship to an old abandoned space station where you had been getting important documents from. “It’s amazing when you think of it.”

“What a coincidence. I had the exact same thought just a few seconds ago.” You grinned as you turned to him. “It always seems unbelievable to me.”

“I honestly find it hard to believe, too, but I have encountered many unbelievable things in the past few years.” Bucky mused with a small smile, looking back at you. “Want to continue on? The next room is a display of our galaxy.”

“Let’s go.”

The two of you entered the next room, a big hall that had holograms of all the planets in the known galaxy projected above the visitors who were able to circle the model of the sun placed in the middle of the exhibit on a metal walkway. You and Bucky walked on the metal walkway, looking at the display, stopping next to the hologram of Earth and looking up as the voiceover talked about the newly discovered planets in the galaxy. Gingerly you reached out to grab Bucky’s left hand, squeezing it with yours as you leaned into his side a little.

As soon as your fingers closed around his, Bucky pulled his hand back and rounded your body. You watched his movements with a small frown but you couldn’t help but smile softly as he held out his right hand to you, flexing his finger in invitation and you took his hand, holding it tightly as you once more leaned into his side, wanting nothing more than to be close to him. But Bucky seemed to have caught your frown because he sighed softly, keeping his eyes firmly on the exhibit as he spoke.

“Sorry, Sweetheart.” He whispered. “I’d rather you hold my flesh hand.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for.” You said softly, deciding against speaking up on his worries so as to not ruin the date for him. “I simply want you to be comfortable.”

Bucky was quiet for a few seconds before he changed the topic. “Do you like the exhibition? I think it’s really interesting to learn about all the ways space travel has changed and hear about the new planets we’ve made contact with.”

“It really is.” You agreed, going with his change in topic and offering him a playful smile. “And I enjoy seeing you so invested and excited about something. You can be such a nerd and I love it.”

“And you’re any better?” He teased right back, giving you a sly smirk. “You’ve read every informational sign there was to read.”

“I’ve never said I wasn’t just as big of a nerd.” You chuckled, leaning your head onto his shoulder. “That’s why we get along so well.”

Bucky smiled and pulled you into a gentle kiss, his right hand settling on the small of your back as he leaned into you. All you could do was reciprocate, your eyes fluttering shut just as his did. He pulled back all too soon but he kept his forehead leaning against yours as he sighed softly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you just as much.”

---

It was three days later that you noticed how big Bucky’s concerns were once more. He still took his arm off when you slept in bed with him and avoided having you hold his left hand every time but you really saw his fears when the two of you shared an intimate moment. You were in Bucky’s lap, his right hand on your hip, guiding your movements. His face was buried at your neck, nipping and kissing the flesh there as you held onto him. His hand tightened on your hip and the metal one clenched the headboard behind him.

You moved your hands from his shoulders, intending on trailing them down his body but as you took them off him you lost your balance and tipped backward. Bucky reacted quickly and brought his left hand around you to catch your fall, holding you up by your upper back, stopping his previous movements, and looking at you in worry. Tipping backwards so suddenly startled you and you gasped in surprise. And just as you did Bucky froze, eyes going wide in what you could only describe as horrified guilt as he pulled away his left hand, switching it with his right to pull you back into a sitting position.

When he was sure you wouldn’t lose your balance again he pulled back all together, gently coaxing you off him and physically withdrawing from you, face scrunching up in concern. You got to your knees, getting closer to him again, feeling worry rise in you at his actions. While you knew he held back from touching you with his metal arm this extreme of a reaction to accidentally touching you with it was concerning. But before you could speak he did.

“I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I am so sorry that I hurt you.” Bucky explained quickly, getting to his knees and placing his right hand on your shoulder to turn your upper body around so he could see your back. “All I could think of was not letting you fall. I didn’t think this through and I-- I caught you with the vibranium arm and-- and now I’ve hurt you.”

You were quick to get onto your knees and bring your hands to his shoulders, making him look at you. “Bucky, I’m fine, I swear. You didn’t hurt me at all, I promise.”

“But you gasped. It sounded like I hurt you when I caught you.”

“Bucky, you didn’t hurt me.” You assured him, looking at him in earnest. “I gasped because I was surprised at falling. If anything, you caught me and probably stopped me from actually getting hurt. You did not hurt me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” You assured him and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to his temple. “You could never hurt me.”

Bucky opened his mouth but then closed it again, deciding to remain quiet and instead simply drew you close to him, bringing his right arm up to hold you sightly. You had a suspicion about what he had been planning to say but you said nothing and simply wrapped your arms around him, climbing into his lap to cradle his head to your shoulder and Bucky took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“Can we simply cuddle tonight?”

“Of course, we can.”

“I’m sorry for ruining--”

“I’m not even going to let you finish that sentence.” You interrupted, keeping your voice gentle. “You haven’t ruined anything and you could never ruin anything by not wanting to sleep with me or needing to stop in the middle of sex. Do you understand?”

He nodded against your shoulder. “I understand.”

“How about we cuddle up under the blankets and simply watch a movie?”

“Depends.” Bucky drew back to give you a playful smile and that was enough to ease your worries a little bit. “Will there be popcorn?”

“Of course.”

---

Bucky’s terrified reaction to thinking he had accidentally hurt you didn’t leave your mind for days. You made sure to assure him that you felt absolutely safe with him and eventually he started to relax again. Your routine continued as usual until, after a small mission, Sam came over for a visit to celebrate everyone’s safe return. The three of you had eventually ended up watching a movie on your sofa after dinner -- one that Sam had suggested because Bucky hadn’t seen it, yet.

As the movie went on you inched closer to Bucky, wanting to be close to him after a rather hard mission. So while he was engrossed by the movie you reached out to lift his left arm up and put it around your shoulders. It took Bucky a few seconds to react and he moved his arm away from you, resting it on the back of the sofa before looking at you.

“Would you mind switching sides with Sam?” Bucky asked softly, a frown on his face as he looked at you. “Then I can hold you all evening, Doll.”

You looked at him for a second, worry overtaking you as you once more saw how worried he was about touching you with his vibranium arm. “I don’t mind staying on your left, Love.”

“Sweetheart, I’d be more comfortable if you moved to my right side.” Bucky explained quietly before turning to Sam. “You wouldn’t mind switching sides, right?”

Sam’s worried eyes locked with yours for a second before he looked back at Bucky. “Of course not.”

With that, he stood and the two of you switched sides, Sam on Bucky’s left now and you on his right. Bucky extended his right arm and you gave him a soft smile before leaning into him, embracing him as he pulled you close to his side. The three of you continued to watch the movie but all you could think about was how worried Bucky still was about touching you with his metal arm and wondering how you could prove to him that he didn’t have to be. When the move was over and Bucky left to put the dishes away you couldn’t help but speak to Sam about it, wanting to hear someone else’s thoughts on this whole situation.

“How do I help him with that?”

“With the dishes?”

“No.” You rolled your eyes a little, annoyed by him not immediately understanding the issue but also somewhat understanding the miscommunication. “I mean how do I help him with how scared he is to touch me with his metal arm? It seems like he’s scared to hurt me with it.”

Sam looked at the door to the kitchen before nodding. “Now that you say it he really seems a little concerned about it.”

“He is more than a little concerned, Sam.” You said, sounding more worried by the second. “He keeps me exclusively to his right side, he won’t touch me with his left hand and he panics whenever he accidentally does so.”

“Really?”

“Last week he caught me with his left arm and went into a downright panic, apologising for hurting me multiple times.” You recounted the event that was still present in your mind before sighing. “I really want to help him see that I am not afraid of him hurting me and that I trust him completely but I don’t know how. Do I just tell him? Do I show him? How do I show him?”

Sam thought for a few seconds before sighing softly. “I would continue doing what you’re already doing -- telling him you don’t mind him touching you with it, showing him that you trust him and just reassuring him when he overthinks.”

“You think that will be enough?”

“He’s made such great progress and you helped him with that. I can’t remember the last time he was so relaxed and smiling so much.” Sam reassured you with a soft smile. “You help him a lot.”

“I just worry about him.”

“I think that he’s spent so long thinking of his arm as nothing but a weapon -- even after he got the vibranium one -- that it will simply take him some time to realise that it’s not inherently dangerous.”

His words got you thinking for a few seconds before you nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Of course, you should respect it if he feels more comfortable not touching you with his left arm, but you could always simply talk to him. If you think bringing this up will help, then sit down with him, tell him that you feel absolutely safe with him, and reassure him.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“Anytime.”

“What are you two talking about?” Bucky asked as he walked back into the room, chuckling a little as you and Sam turned around in perfect unison. “That synchronised head turn is pretty creepy, you know?”

“Should we stand at the end of a hallway like the twins in The Shining?”

Bucky gave you a questioning look. “I don’t think I’ve seen that movie before.”

“We could watch it right now.” Sam exclaimed before smiling a little as he came up with a quick excuse as to what you two had been talking about. “We were actually just wondering what movie to watch next.”

“Then let’s watch that movie.” Bucky said and sat back down, pulling you close to him. “It’s a horror movie, I assume from context, right? Won’t it scare you, Doll?”

You chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Horror movies don’t scare me. Besides, they are nothing compared to the bad guys we fight on a daily basis.”

“Will you get scared?” Sam grinned at Bucky, giving him a teasing look. “If you end up scared in your partner’s lap, I will laugh at you. I hope you know that.”

“I don’t get scared that easily.”

“We shall see.”

---

After your talk with Sam and deciding you should speak to Bucky about his fears, you waited for the right time to do so but when it never seemed like the appropriate moment, you sat down next to him on the bed one quiet evening. The slight drizzle outside had forced you to stay in that day and Bucky was reading on the bed when you came inside. He looked up from his book to give you a small smile but when he saw your serious expression he put it down and sat up properly.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

“Can I talk to you?”

“You can talk to me about literally anything.”

You nodded and sat down on the bed next to him. “I’m gonna say it straight out because I don’t want to beat around the bush and honestly, I’m unsure of how to approach this subject. I realised that you are worried or afraid to touch me with your vibranium arm and I need you to know that I am not scared of it or worried you’ll hurt me with it.”

Bucky looked at you for almost a full minute before he seemed to have concluded what to say. “Doll, I really appreciate you telling me that you’re not afraid of-- of my arm and that you’re speaking up on this because you worry about me but I-- I know how strong and destructive this arm is. It was built as a weapon.”

“But it no longer is. You use it to help people, to protect them. I just-- I mean, just on the last mission we were on you saved a whole elevator full of innocent civilians by holding it up until they could be evacuated.” You tried to reason. “I know it’s hard for you to believe and I understand that.”

“It’s hard to realise that. I know that I help innocent people and I know that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, trust me. After everything that happened, I’ve learned that.” Bucky said before sighing deeply, taking your hand into his right one. “But that doesn’t change the fact that objectively speaking the arm was designed to be a weapon, that it’s capable of terrible things and could hurt you even if I don’t want to.”

“Anyone is capable of hurting people, metal arm or not, James.”

“It was designed as a weapon.” Bucky repeated and you realised how mentally caught up he was on that fact. “A gun is still dangerous even if it’s not inherently bad.”

You were quiet for a second, gaze dropping to his vibranium arm. “The arm you have now wasn’t designed as a weapon, though. You got it in Wakanda, not at a Hydra base. The scientists there gave it to you because they trust you not to hurt anyone.”

“Yet they put in a mechanism that allowed them to detach it with the press of a button.” Bucky said, eyes dropping and tearing up just slightly. “And I don’t blame them for not trusting me completely.”

“I do.” You said in earnest, squeezing his hand with both of yours. “I trust you blindly, James. Please try to believe me that I trust you completely.”

Bucky looked up at that, teary eyes meeting yours before he pulled his hand away to wrap around your shoulders and pull you into a tight embrace, burying his face at your shoulder. You quickly hugged him back, bringing a hand up to cradle his head.

“Thank you, Love. Your trust means the world to me.” Bucky whispered into your shoulder, voice tight with emotions. “But I still know that the arm could potentially harm you and I mean-- I would feel better if I weren’t touching you with it.”

“That’s alright.” You said softly, holding him tightly. “Whatever you need is alright. I just noticed how scared you were and I wanted you to know that I trust you.”

“Thank you.”

---

A new mission coming along shoved all your remaining worries to the back of your mind. Now infiltrating a base of previous HYDRA agents to retrieve secret files was not an easy task but you and Bucky had encountered hurdles far bigger and together you had always managed to overcome them. It took a while but eventually, you two were rushing to your getaway car, dodging bullets from the former agents while you kept the files safely clutched against your chest.

Bucky threw open the car door and got inside while you slid across the hood of it to get to the passenger side. Once you were inside, he hit the gas and took off, tires screeching against the concrete and you gripped the back of the seat to keep yourself steady as he swerved around a building to get away from the abandoned warehouse the former agents had holed up in. As you buckled up he turned to you for a second.

“You okay, Doll? No injuries?”

“I’m fine. How about you?”

“Me, too. Let’s get out of here.”

But before you could there was a loud bang from underneath the car and before you knew what was happening the vehicle flipped over. Everything went by in a blur. The car landed on the roof and when you opened your eyes again you found yourself hanging upside down from your seat. Bucky unbuckled himself and was at your side in an instant, worry etched on his face.

“Are you alright?”

“Mostly fine. What happened?”

“I think they threw a bomb underneath the car. I know I did it once back under HYDRA’s control and the whole car flipped over like ours did.”

You were about to answer when a shot was fired at the car and pierced through the back window before the bullet lodged itself in the back of your seat’s fabric. Bucky pulled out his gun and you tried to free yourself from the seatbelt just to realise that its mechanism had been damaged in the crash, leaving you unable to unbuckle it. Anything you could have used to cut yourself free was out of reach and so was your gun. Panic rose in you as you turned to look out the window to find one of the agents approaching your getaway car with a rifle in their hand.

They aimed at your head and fired. Fully expecting to be hit you turned your head away, not able to move much due to the seat belt still holding you relatively in place. You knew that even if you moved your upper body, the agent would still be able to hit you if they just slightly readjusted their aim, so you closed your eyes in anticipation. Then suddenly a metallic clang echoed through the car and when you looked back toward the window you found your sight obstructed by Bucky’s vibranium arm.

He had blocked the bullet with it. He had saved your life.

Then he fired at the agent that had shot at you, sending them to the floor. Quickly, he used the vibranium arm to yank your seatbelt from where it was fastened to the car and free you. Once out from your confinement, you grabbed your gun and helped him shoot at the agents to take them out.

And soon enough, all of them were down just in time for your backup to arrive. Both of you were quickly helped into the other car and then you were off on your way, Bucky sitting next to you in the back of the SHIELD van. When the van had started driving off and you two knew you were safe, Bucky turned to you.

“Are you injured, Love? They didn’t hit you, did they?”

“No, they didn’t.” You said, taking his left hand into yours and before he could pull it back you shook your head, speaking up again. “You saved me. You say the arm was designed as a weapon but today it saved my life.”

Bucky looked at you for what felt like forever but was realistically not more than about a minute before his vibranium hand squeezed around yours, eliciting a small smile from you. He was slowly realising that his arm was more than a weapon and seeing that it had the potential to protect the ones he loved. You knew that holding your hand was a small step forward but it still meant moving in the right direction.

“Thank you for saving my life, James.”

“I would always save you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

---

A few hours later found you and Bucky at your place, reclining on your bed and watching a movie on your laptop. Bucky was still working off his list of things he had missed, the idea having been something he’d picked up from Steve a few years earlier, and this evening you two had decided to watch a movie that he had yet to see. The blanket was draped over the two of you and Bucky’s right hand was settled on your hip, thumb gently rubbing your skin. With the adrenaline of the mission wearing off, Bucky right next to you, and the sun setting outside you felt your eyelids growing heavy. The movements of your left hand that had been running up and down his right arm were faltering now and again. Your head kept drifting onto Bucky’s shoulder before you brought it back up to watch the movie.

But eventually, your exhaustion combined with his gentle ministrations made you drift off, head coming down to rest on his shoulder and body snuggling into his side. Had you not been so exhausted from the fight you would have noticed that your head had fallen onto Bucky’s left shoulder, left hand coming up to wrap around his biceps.

You were awoken a few minutes later by a loud noise coming from the television, immediately followed by Bucky quietly swearing and the volume being turned off. Blinking your eyes open, you turned your head to look up at him and he gave you an apologetic smile.

“Go back to sleep, Doll. I turned the volume down. You can rest.”

With another soft smile you snuggled back up to him, your cheek smushed against the cool vibranium of his left arm and your hand once more holding onto his biceps. It was a few seconds later that you realised you were holding onto his left arm and you tilted your head up to look at Bucky. When he saw your head turning he examined your face, taking in your thoughtful expression.

“What are you thinking about, Doll?”

“I’m leaning against your left arm.” You whispered, running a finger up the biceps of said arm. “Is this really alright for you? As I said, I’m not afraid of you hurting me and I trust you completely, but I know that you don’t really like touching me with it and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You were right, earlier in the van.” He said softly, eyes flicking to the window so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact. “Had it not been for my vibranium arm, you might not be here right now. And it made me think about all the things you’ve said about the arm beforehand.”

“How so?”

“The arm was meant to be a weapon, the one from Hydra most definitely, and even the one I got in Wakanda had the potential to be used as one. But you were right about it not being used as one anymore, or at least not outside of fighting bad guys.” Bucky concluded, eyes flickering to your face once before focusing back on the window. “It helped me save you and it helped me save many others before.”

“I’m glad you’re starting to see your arm as something other than a weapon.”

Bucky turned back to look at you before resting his cheek against your head. “It’s something that’s been ingrained in my brain for a long time, though, so please give me time, and don’t be upset if I’m ever withdrawing from you or afraid to touch you.”

“I would never be upset with you for that, James. Why would you even think that?”

“Because you always get so sad when I talk negatively about myself or the arm.”

“That’s not because I’m upset with you. I understand that it’s hard to see a part of yourself that others have misused as a weapon as anything but that. When you say things like that it makes me hurt for you.” You explained softly, bringing a hand up to cup the cheek that wasn’t smushed against your head. “And I know you don’t like people pitying you but that’s not what I’m doing. I love you and I hate seeing you in any sort of distress.”

“I’m doing much better now.” Bucky promised quietly. “I mean, I’m far from fine and I still have nightmares and fears and the like, but I’m so much better than I was before and I will get better in the future. So please don’t worry about me too much, Doll.”

“James, take one look at me and tell me that you think I’d be able to not worry about you.” You joked, earning a small laugh from him. “You know me too well for that.”

Smirking a little at your joke, Bucky reached out to turn the movie off and flicked the switch on the bedside lamp. “Still, please try not to be too concerned. You’re helping me an awful lot, I hope you know that.”

“And I hope you know that every step you take in your recovery, no matter how small it might seem, is something you can be proud of. I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come.” You closed your eyes then, cuddling up to him. “And I trust you with all my heart.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. That’s on you for being trustworthy.” You whispered. “But is it physically uncomfortable to keep the arm on while sleeping?”

“No, with the new one, it’s not. The old metal one was heavier and could get uncomfortable but this one is fine.” Bucky said with a smile before kissing your head as you snuggled closer to his side, your head moving to rest on the junction between his vibranium arm and his shoulder, allowing him to wrap his left arm around you. “Thank you for everything, Love. I love you so much.”

“Right back at you, Sweetheart. I love you just as much.”

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