you ever love someone so intensely that it hurts to think about how useless you are to them? i wish i could give you everything, but i’m a speck in this world and nothing i can offer can quantify what you mean to me. it is not romantic. it is a deep-rooted desperation to uplift you, vanish your pain, and provide you companionship. i could say “i love you,” but three words cannot withhold the ache in my heart when i think of you.
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It’s cold out. The air's all crisp, biting, like those thoughts that don't at all fit together but insist on crashing the same party.
Reality is a carnival mirror, and this creaking boat, a carousel spinning sideways. I hear the laughter of Neptune, the coughs of distant galaxies.
- Dorian 11/27/23 10:13pm
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I tried to write about you once more, yet words remained elusive,
Attempting to speak, but a lump stifles my voice, unyielding and reclusive.
Within my mind, a symphony of thoughts chaotic and untamed,
A battle rages between delusion and clarity unnamed.
Perhaps I should depict losing you as emerging from ocean's grasp,
Left on freezing shores, as your embrace slips, an enduring clasp.
Atleast in suffocating waves, the water did satiate my lungs.
Rather than this void, an emptiness profound.
Though our love was turbulent, it was ablaze in fiery red,
Now it's an icy blue, love's warmth far fled.
At least in the chaos, I knew it was hunger I felt
Unlike now, where emptiness is all that is left.
At least I felt, rather than being numb,
In the icy void, my heart has become
~m
©sadpoet-m
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feels like nothing feels like pain
when it's sunny i miss the rain
smoke another cigarette
please remind me to forget
my keys, my mug, my age, my name
i just want things to stay the same
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You are staring at the blood ,
gushing out of my mouth .
I grin , you flinch.
We are driving to the hospital,
in your worn out Toyota,
you look at me occasionally, making a mental
note to never leave me alone again .
There is laughter in the distance ,
and flashing street lights,
but all that keeps me up are your tear stricken eyes.
You never said it back , I whisper ,
and you ask , what ,what ,what ?
And I try to say it again ,
that you never did say I love you back ,
you haven't in a long , long time.
~Neem
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I never planned for
this much heartbreak
I never thought I’d
End up so confused
I never planned to
Be this fucked up
And I never ever
wanted to hurt you
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I can't remember the last time
That I really wanted to die
But it seems just as long ago
That I truly felt alive
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Just Stop Drowning
“Just stop drowning.”
I hear them mutter;
they watch me sputter;
I choke and splutter;
they wish that I would
just stop drowning.
The water’s gushing;
the current’s rushing;
the pressure’s crushing;
so maybe I should
just stop drowning.
With dread assailing,
my body’s flailing,
and I am failing,
if only I could
just stop drowning.
Just stop drowning.
Stop drowning.
Stop.
- M. T. Grove
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Freshwater Fires ; Stillwater Reflections 11.1.22
“Fresh Embers on a Rainy Day”
There was rain today,
Knocking on my window
Like the first five minutes of a teenage rom-com
Before the one-hit-pop rock song begins
There was no punk-rock rebel
Waiting in the wings
Just flowers billowing in the breeze
And birds
Seeking shelter beneath the leaves
Like commuters huddled beneath
The bus stop wind shield
November drowned its morning sorrows
With damp and dreary diary entries
I aired my unshackled wrists and time
Beneath the sorrowful sky
There was rain today
Before the west coast, weary of tears
Scrubbed the sky of mist and fog and clouds
Revealing the blues beneath
I want to rip off my face
And reveal the colors beneath
Like a saturday morning cartoon
But today is simply a rainy Tuesday
Like me, unable to commit
To the forecast
November,
Please let me feel you in my bones
With cold blues, and grey weather
So I can wish upon the starless sky
For some escape from this town
With newfound locks to wear
Like businessmen wristwatches
Golden
Like sunset’s misty-eyed farewell to autumn
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artist!
Photo by @mynamemeanscloud
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if u ever loved me no u didnt and if u still dont call me thats the proof
idk i just feel bad today
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a gruesome poem lamenting about my misadventures in chocolate strawberry construction
(i accidentally cut my finger and wrote a dramatic poem about it)
My hand slipped
In an attempt to decollate a strawberry
The knife slipped with it
Slicing through the skin of my finger
Marring the print
The pink juice mixed with scarlet
A saccharine nectar
The reds almost indistinguishable from one another
In taste and look
Fuck
My finger hurts
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Behold! The latest in my recreations of my BFF's teenage goth prose.
Text in the image description for those who require it.
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I retrace my steps to the beginning
Is there a greater purpose to life than this?
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“Are you okay”
“Of course I am”
Those self inflicted wounds say otherwise
That black and white mentality grasps you
Traps you
Why are you bleeding through your sleeve?
“Are you okay”
“It’s just a stain”
Just a stain that that’ll be on you forever
-a
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my head is empty like a dolls
my stare isn't deadly, it's dead.
my personality was taken out
and washed clean and smooth.
but it didn't make me pure again.
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you said you’re leaving
an original poem
why do you need to leave?
well, i know why.
you sat down and said it.
and i hate you.
i hate that i'm happy for you.
i hate knowing,
knowing what you're doing is best.
i hate that you're leaving. 
that you're doing the right thing.
i hate myself for trusting you.
and i hate myself for being upset.
but you're doing what's best.
for you,
for those you love.
you're doing what's best.
so you're leaving,
starting a new journey.
so what's the point of continuing this one?
to learn?
to grow?
to be someone better?
i thought you'd be the one
to tell us, show us.
but you're not.
you sat down and told us,
"I'm leaving."
and i hate you
but not as much as i hate myself.
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