#help lmao

[cralaofmandalore]

Shout out to the day i killed the queen via AO3, legendary (name of the fanfic is jigens sick adventure, yes it is a sickfic)

#archive of our own #ao3 #queen elizabeth #meme #ao3 meme #fanfiction #fanfic #i killed the queen #im sorry #there's no queen of england #lgbtq #funny #tumblr #twitter #help lmao #wtf #seriously wtf

[ministarfruit]

OLLIE BIRTHDAY!!!!!🎉🎉🎉

#vtuber #hololive #hololive id #kureiji ollie #hey why is it every time I draw ollie #she is in a different art style #HELP LMAO #eye strain #maybe. on some screens #HAPPIE OLLIE DAYYYYY

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Love your work ♡♡♡

I was thinking about a bull hybrid könig with a cow hybrid reader... (let's be clear not furries lol)

They both live at a farm and könig can't interact with the cute cow girls cause the farmers are worried he'll loose control and breed them all, so he can only look at them from his stable while they frolick in the fields, fisting his cock while he watches them giggle..

But then, good news! The farmers decide they want new calves, so one day könig wakes up and instead of being all alone like usual he finds his dream girl besides him, shyly telling him that she's there to be bred (bonus points if she's a virgin)

CW: my humble attempt at hybrids lol... big chested reader, (forced) breeding, voyeurism/third party watching, dubcon from both sides, fluff if you squint. 18+ MINORS DNI

The first thing König sees is her smile and bright eyes, long lashes that are cast down the second he manages to make her flustered with his stare. They’re both naked – he because he likes to sleep naked, she because… well, he doesn’t have a clue why. But his cock embarrassingly shoots up when he sees her breasts, large enough to provide milk for an entire array of babies if need be.

To his knowledge, no one has been allowed to breed his beautiful cows. He calls them his, even if he’s never seen them close, his lovely, calm women who love to bask in the sun and sometimes chase each other on the field of greenery. He likes to think they play pretend that a bull like him was chasing them, a cattle he’s trying to mount, because they giggle and run as if it was the greatest fun to be chased around in the fields.

And there’s no way they haven’t seen him watching them from his pen. It’s triple fenced to keep him from bursting out and breeding every single cow he gets under him, and they're right to be afraid because his cock is always swollen and leaking, pushing forwards and up to deliver his seed deep inside a waiting womb.

But right now, he doesn’t have to chase or fist his angry cock at the sight of the giggling women clearly in need of a good, hard dicking. Right now, he gets to examine this demure, naked girl right in front of him, clasping her hands in front of her from shyness, round breasts squishing adorably together as she does that.

The conversation that follows is intoxicating and perverse – she asks if she can touch his… that. Nodding to the dangerous sight that is his towering, twitching cock, he’s proud to present it to her fully. It’s leaking and jutting up in all its glory, and it’s only natural that she’s intrigued. He agrees on one condition: she can fondle his cock all she wants if he gets to massage her teats in return...

She looks helpless for a while, but nods eventually, taking a soft step forward. Soon, he feels a soft hand around his girth, running up and down his veined, bumpy length. There comes some hushed, adoring comments about how huge he is, and more precum leaks out, but he can’t even return the compliments, fixated on her breasts as he is. They’re heavy and plump but don’t lactate which means she has never been bred. He even tries to suck them to confirm this is the cause, making her shudder and cry from how fiercely he tries to suck and tug at both her nipples.

This crusade only ends in him spilling too soon, with sudden, thick spurts that make her yelp again from surprise. She’s holding his long pale cock in her hand, staring at the cum shooting out from the tip with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

These cows are such simple creatures, innocent and a little dumb, soft and carefree in their naivety. But he’s more disappointed with himself, wasting perfectly good seed just from a few licks and sucks at her jugs.

“That was not supposed to happen,” he grunts when she’s still staring at his throbbing cock like it’s the most amazing thing she's ever seen.

“Oh,” she whispers. “What was supposed to happen then…?’

He looks up at his silly, simple cow, and smiles darkly.

“All of that was supposed to go inside you.”

Her big, wide eyes blink, long lashes bat slowly and consistently from horror and awe.

That’s when the master of the farm barges in, stares at the scene for a moment, and then starts to yell at them.

He left them alone for a few minutes and there’s already wasted semen on the floor??

The cow is yanked away from him, her tits swollen, red and heavy from his mouth. His cock never refuses to land, it only stands up, knowing there will be more action soon to come.

The farmer complains about how much money he paid for a big breeding bull like König, only to have his stupid cow milk all the seed on the floor. They both get yelled at, called stupid and useless, and the poor, helpless girl is told to get on her knees for the bull.

He’s presented with something even better than a pair of big, round tits – he can’t even begin to get angry at the nasty pervert of a farmer. He simply can’t because his adorable meek cow is perfect, absolutely perfect, with her throbbing hole up in the air like this. It’s swollen and glossy, making his cock jerk and bounce with urgency, and the mounting happens without him even thinking about it.

The farmer sighs when he sees his bull’s first attempts at breeding. Scoffs and waves his hand in the air as König probes and prods with his cock for far too long, trying to hit the right hole while the girl is whimpering from fear and want under his heavy weight. His already seed-covered cock finally slips in, and the poor thing under him screams and shudders.

He barely remembers anything after that.

It’s both a nightmare and the most beautiful dream he’s ever had, finally getting to mount and breed a wanton cow. The mating is hurried and compulsive, his hips do their best to get another load of seed out as fast as possible. The girl trembles and moans under him, her big breasts bounce and jiggle with every thrust, and at some point something incredible happens.

The farmer is yelling again – he’s supposed to breed the cow, not give her an orgasm! – but he doesn’t care, he just continues to rut and huff and snort and grunt, bellowing loud and hard as his seed shoots forth.

His pretty little cow is shaking, trembling by the time he’s finished with the breeding, all his strong seed safe and plugged deep inside of her. She sniffles and pants under him, whines and sobs, whispers that it feels so good – and then she’s pulled away from him, led out of the pen, forced to leave his cock.

She barely gets to glance back at him with wet, glossy eyes, asking for his help, no, pleading for it. Those big, vulnerable, defenseless depths will haunt him forever, the love and affection in her eyes so vast that a few, tiny drops of cum push out of his cock just from that hopeless look alone.

They don’t even let him cuddle and hold her after, she’s being escorted away like the cattle that she is, and even if they brought him a hundred big breasted cows to breed he would never forget those eyes and that face.

He’s all spent, weak from breeding like his life depended on it, but these people truly underestimate the strength of a bull. He draws air through his nostrils like a tempest, and starts a riot like nothing else.

He destroys the whole pen in the process, nothing left but splinters of wood and some barely intact poles. The farmer is unrecognizable by the time he’s done, and his cow has fled further away, clearly afraid of him and his sudden unleash of power.

But she doesn’t flee when he goes to her.

No: her lips are pressed tightly together, her eyes still wide with awe and wonder, but she doesn’t run away like most scared cattle would do. She’s his now, and she knows it, only awaits for advice on where to go next. She will follow him wherever he goes, like a wild beast who knows her mate will keep her safe and lead her to abundant pastures: somewhere far away where their offspring can live a good, free life.

#tw: hybrid #könig smut #help lmao #not in my element at all i hope this doesn't suck too much! #at least the evil farmer got what he deserved!

[shiftythrifting]

Hate merch against Duck Hunt as a Smash character

Stains much more prominent in person

Cookeville, TN

#thrifting #shiftythrifting #submission #smash bros #help lmao #shirts #crunchy pixels #tn

[coyotegirl-domestic-terrorism]

average attempt at social interaction

#help lmao #i need to stop #shitpost

[diceisbored]

She Saw..

Henry Hart x Reader

Summary: Piper sees you kiss the one and only Kid Danger. However, she's more concered about the fact that it's not her brother.

Warnings: kissing,, petnames(baby),, implied cheating

pt1, pt2

"You have to go home, Hen," I pushed him away with a hand on his chest. He tightend his grip on my waist, pulling me into a hug.

"Jus' one more? Please, baby?" He tilted his head, looking like a kicked puppy.

I slid my hand from his chest to the back of his head, slowly pulling him in, "One more. Then you go home."

"See I still don't get why I can't just spend the night," He mumbled, voice just a bit whiny.

I watched as his eyes flicked between my own and my lips, "Your parents want you home, Henry."

"Mhm, whatever," He quickly captured my lips in a kiss. I rolled my eyes before closing them, threading my hand through his hair.

Pulling away as he tried to deepen the kiss, he groaned in annoyance.

"Go home, Henry."

"Fine. I'll see you in the morning, Love you."

"I love you too," I lightly push him away, laughing to myself as he almost fell.

Walking in my house, I put my purse and keys down and turned on the tv for background noise.

Until Piper barged in shouting my full name.

"I seriously have no idea what you think you were doing!"

"What are you talking about?"

Piper huffed, angrier than I've ever seen her, "I saw you kiss Kid Danger."

My face got red, and I was suddenly at a loss for words, "Piper."

She shouted my name again, "No! I care about you, I really do but, I have to tell Henry."

I closed my eyes in thought, trying to figure out what to do.

"I'll tell him, Piper."

"That- okay."

She calms down, just a bit, "That doesn't make it right, I hope you know."

"Yeah, I know," I have to force down my laugh.

shshsshshhs i dont know how i came up with this but lmk if i should write the part where henry gets toldd

masterlist

request rules

#henry danger #x reader #idk man #this just occurred to me #help lmao #idk lol #henry hart x reader

[weepinglilvessel]

hi i am very sick have this thing my sleep-deprived brain came up with

I know it’s late but holy hell I got a good laugh XD

Either way, sleep well! Hope you feel better soon!!

#weepingask #tbh I don’t ship them personally but is hilarious #and i love it #help lmao #rw chaos au #chaos au #rw fp #rw nsh #sillyposting

[theoverboardgaygirl]

This is still me idk why tf.

#help lmao #9 year old me be like #Fuck yes #Funny shit #Funny stuff #Humour #Humor #Funny #funny memes #Memes #meme #relatable memes #Haha #Hehe #Hehhe #Lol #Lololol #Hahah #Drink apple juice like it's alcohol

[crazghetti]

the sweetest couple

#steven universe #ruby #sapphire #garnet #im rewatching some episodes btw #i love em #gonna cry #steven universe future #just noticed this had a ship name i thought yall were going with garnet #rupphire #help lmao #crazeymcart

[call-me-cosmic]

Raine Whispers y’all 👏

I added the Rat to make it clear that this is NOT AI ART LMAO. Also because it’s funny.

#art #artists on tumblr #artistsupport #drawing #digital art #procreate #raine whispers #the owl house #owl house #disney #toh fanart #not ai generated #not ai art #ratatouille #help lmao #memes #artist support #art blog #edit #video warning #capcut #I love Raine #toh raine #top character #they’re such a nerd #my art #support #procreate art #character art #fan art

[shyuka47]

she still hasn't done her homework about watermelons

#murder drones #artwork #md fanart #fanart #digital art #murder drones fanart #artists on tumblr #murder drones uzi #lol memes #help lmao #idk lol #murder drones meme

[3lji]

domestic:

adjective:

no longer wild; domesticated; tame:

(all translations by @alexc1ting ♥️)

#sorry i suddenly began to make a comp of domestic scenes lmaooo #i love this definition of domestic. usually i see it as sweet and homely behaviours #settling in / loving someone #but i really love the idea of being tamed / domesticated by love #help lmao #like. how about it’s making a home out of someone else #help again hahaha #19 days #tianshan #mo guan shan #he tian #compilation

[scootersscooter]

HELP?!?!?!? WHY DID THEY POSE HIM LIKE THAT?!?!!?!!!!!!

#HELP #I'm rereading the b2w2 arc #they knew what they were doing #help lmao #colress #colress pokemon #colress pokémon #pokespe #pokéspe

[emprissluce]

#help lmao #mdzs #mdzs novel #mdzs fandom #the untamed #cql #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng trio #wangxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #jiang cheng #lan brothers #lan xichen #lan wangji #wei wuxuan #xicheng #hahaha

[senseioftheinternet]

#haha lol #tumblr memes #funny #lol memes #lolz #hahaa #hahaha #lmao #roflmao #funnyshit #memes #lol #lmaooo #help lol #rofl #help lmao #hold up #dank memes #dark humor #government

[rayllurn]

mother, i crave violence

#help lmao #stella coming in clutch #the dragon prince #tdp stella #tdp rayla