please let me love you
the way you deserve to be loved
i will write notes
with your favorite quotes
and every inside joke
and ill leave them in places around your home
for you to find
so ill be on your mind
little pieces of me
left to make you smile
i will infuse
every little moment with you
with a love so deep
it touches your roots
i will perfect the technique
with which i love you
so that you may never again know
what it is like to alone
allow yourself to soak in my presence, my dear
and this love that will
forever be present
because i will place myself between you and the door
for the next 64 years,
or however long you let me
love you.
“The ache inside me is for the fact that I never fully got to love you in the way you should have been loved, and the way I fully felt for you.
But also there is an ache in me for the thought that I had that much love to give you and you never loved me even one half the amount I did you.”
I’m bitter because I’m still in pain // What I want to say {m.a}
straddling your lap in nothing but one of your old t-shirts
it hangs off my shoulder
hits about mid-thigh
the one thing ill always be comfortable in.
im facing the man i love
trying to hide how bad my head hurts
my hairs damp but not dripping on my shoulders
your steady hands were there with a towel
the second you heard the shower turn off
you didn't say anything
about the lack of steam on the mirrors
the way my teeth chattered
you didn't mention the light being off again.
now you’re holding me.
hands rubbing the towel gently. drying me.
what a simple act of devotion it is to warm someone when they’re freezing.
i didn’t realize the water had run cold.
i felt numb before i even stepped in.
a shower in the dark
meant to help me relocate the spark
to see if it still exists.
i didn’t find what i was looking for,
but maybe that’s because you were outside leaning against the bathroom door.
patiently waiting for me,
one of your old t shirts in hand. you pulled me to your chest
and pushed the tshirt over my head
you did not shy away when you saw the dullness of my skin.
now you have me
straddling your lap
as you pat a towel against me,
oh so gently
you’ve taken note of my current state of fragility
somehow without making me feel weak
i’m starting to think
that the spark might be the way you touch me when i’m freezing.
When he tells me
I have good handwriting,
but someone once told me
that my handwriting
was an art form,
my choices of capitalization
an artistic choice
I should forever keep.
How does it feel to be in love and not to be loved?
No matter what you do, how good your heart is, they will leave you one day. When you fall for someone who has no intentions to love you, and with that, you also fall in love with a delusion that maybe one day, that one-sided love will turn into a fairytale. No love can exist without the efforts of two souls. You bring everything to their table, and they will still leave you one day. They will enjoy your offerings for some time and may act as if they love you, but soon everything will be over forever. One day they will wake up and tell you that they can't be with you anymore, and maybe that day, you will realize that you can't be with someone because you want to be with them; you can give someone your world, and still, they will choose a different world; you will learn the power of letting go and the peace feels different when you know that love was never about trying so hard to get someone's piece of heart, love was always about the souls growing together. The feeling of giving so much to someone who had no intention; to love you is awful and sad. It hurts, and you will feel bad for giving so much to someone who knew what your heart feels for them, but soon you will learn that it was all part of the process to teach you and to take you where you are today, even if you are healing from that today trust me it will make you are better person tomorrow.
ill be your little writer boy until the words run out,
(dont worry, you and i both know how i love to run my mouth),
love notes in your pockets
haikus on you lunch napkin
grocery lists with pickup lines as the border
and meticulously penned letters
conveying my adoration for you.
i’ll be your little writer boy
when my hands shake and my voice falters.
i’ll put pent to paper.
fill libraries with praise for you
a handsome man
a strong man
a loving man worthy of my adoration
worthy of so much more
then pen on paper.
oh how i love you.
my darling every part of you is something worth holding.
i wish i could take the pieces of you
that so many others before me have shunned
and lovingly kiss each one.
take every part that’s ever hurt in my hands
and tuck them closely against my heart
so that i have the reassurance of knowing they are well guarded.
but since i can’t do that
i’ll shape my words into bandages
pressed over each scrape against your soul
and i’ll kiss each and every one.
imagine the intimacy
of my lips
against the hurt parts of you, my love.
there is no greater pleasure to me
then allowing my words to flow freely
sweet honey on each sting the world has dealt you.
i’ll write and i’ll write and i’ll write.
love for you on every line.
there will be no stopping until i have a series of books to present to you
a physical representation of the way i abuse
a dictionary
to try and make something extraordinary
all for you.
who says there is
no magic in the world
the first frost glistens like
delicate spray paint
shining in the morning sun
leaves crunch beneath
my feet like crackers
bird song still
heralds a new day
not everyone gets
to go south
for the winter
I stop along the trail
and take it all in
the quiet whispers of life
the elegant beauty
of the season
the joy of truly being alive
all I had to do was let go
of that incessant need
to keep moving forward
and just be in the moment