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#did we ended up shifting into a serious tone and talking for the next 3 hours ? yes
inkskinned · 1 year
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you examine yourself like studying a virus.
for days after, months - years, even - you torture yourself over small objects. times where you misspoke or interrupted with a joke when you should have listened. times when you didn't know how to show your support. times when you were louder, brassier, inappropriate for the situation. times when you were too quiet, shy, cold.
fucker. you constantly promise that next-time you'll do better. you will make sure every person you come in contact with leaves smiling. that they'll all feel loved and accepted and held. that you take care. other people do it! other people are actually good people; you're just cruel.
it feels like you are fighting a horrible little beetle. one of those parasites that control ants. one who comes up and wiggles into your brain and makes you a shameful ghost of a person. too spineless to ever be a demon. so what if you were having a bad day? you don't get to stumble. so what if you are overwhelmed? you don't need to make a scene.
all this time on the earth. you are still somehow convinced: the mistakes you make are more important than any other part of you. you still feel like you are wrestling a nature you do not understand; one that coils horribly inside of you. one that seeks to destroy, to undo.
you go home. you replay the moments where you weren't perfect. be better, you scold. do more. you are an accident. a train wreck. something to abhor.
the questions always ringing in your head: why did i do that? why do i slip? why can't i just fucking be normal? what if all i am is just ... this?
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xerotiny99 · 25 days
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Trouble in Paradise // Our Precious #3
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Trouble in Paradise (Our precious series 3)
M.list ┃ Previous ┃ Next
Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader
Warning: smut, dom!yunho, sub!reader, bits of food play (a little disgusting if you aren't into that kinda thing), frottage (non-penetrative sex), cunnilingus (oral sex), nipple/breast simulation, dirty talk & degradation (ofc, because Yunho's really got a foul mouth on him, and we like it <I need therapy>).
Note: do not proceed if you're uncomfortable or triggered by mentioned tags. Please, if you're really grossed out by "transferring" food from one's mouth to another's, then do not proceed. (Here, it's just strawberries, tho. So totally upto you 💀)
Gist: after the deliberate game night, you're left to contemplate about Jongho's and his flatmates' proposition of being their fucktoy. If that wasn't enough of an issue for you, a phone call from your parents leaves you in a mess. And the only way to relax during your hard times is something you know Yunho does all too well.
Word Count: 12,686
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  "So, have you thought about it?"
You bite your lip, obviously contemplating every word of his.
"You know, Jongho just asked me about it a couple of days ago." you stifle a groan and shake your head, "agreed you all are very eager to have me on board, but I'm going to need some time to think, right?"
You take a deep breath, listening to his deep voice murmuring, "and we don't mind how long you take to give us your ultimatum. Of course, I am aware of the kind of plight you're put through. So, don't sweat it and don't make a decision you would end up regretting, okay?"
The grin on your face widens when you let his words sink in; well, he was right. But there was something which was quite tedious to figure out.
"Can I ask you something, Yunho?"
Hearing him lowly hum against your ear, you resist every urge to stuff your hand in between your legs; you roll over your stomach and grab a pillow to hold it under your chest. Your lethargic body relaxes almost immediately when you feel the soft coziness of the pillow and silk sheets draped over your bed. The mattress sinks once again when you move, shifting on your back to stare at the bland ceiling before pushing your phone closer to your ear.
Your heart thumped in your chest, words itching to be said, somehow balancing off the tip of your tongue yet having no grit to let them out. This question, the supposed doubt you had in your mind was troubling you ever since Jongho dropped you off at your dorms the next day of your game night. It was a fiddling question, not too serious or brooding, yet you had your conscience tied in a knot over it. The after-bearing sentiments of your proposed 'bargain' had been irking you to your ultimate limits.
What if, keeping a sex exclusive relationship with the people you barely know, turns out to be the worst decision of your life?
Or, what if your feelings come into play with this superficial relationship?
It may seem crazy, but spending only a week with Yunho had already made you sublime; you could only dream of experiencing the better half of a relationship because Yunho was certainly the boyfriend material, the exact kind you had been craving for years. As truth would have it, and as it would sting your morales, you had couple of exes who were shitty and contemptibly obnoxious. So, now that you had a man who was ticking off every single wish on your list, the profuse quandaries were messy.
"Princess, did you fall asleep?" he teases you through the phone, his tone making you envisage him smirking.
You might as well—after a hectic day of chemistry lectures coming into a play for your lethargy and hebetude, you certainly didn't mind letting off some steam before falling sleep.
"No, I'm here. I'm just..." you trail off, "...I'm thinking of ways to voice my thoughts."
"Have I ever judged you? Even though for the past week you've told me some really disturbing shit," he laughs, and you retaliate, "and don't act as if you didn't enjoy as much as I did narrating it to you."
"I did. I did," his laughter wrings out to a sigh, "don't think too much, okay? Be openly honest with me, ask me what you want to."
"I don't want to ruin your grocery store trip," you let out a soft titter and could picture him rolling his eyes, "understandable, because grocery shopping is all rainbows and unicorns anyway."
"If you had me there with you, it would've been fun," you mumble, turning on your side to stare the dingy wall of your dorm room.
"If that was the case, we'd probably not even make it to the store." He adds, "and we do not want to piss Seonghwa off. He's not pretty when he gets mad."
You drawl on your lower lip and squeeze your thighs together, "it's hard to believe, but okay."
"Ask, Angel." His stern and commanding tone makes your heart palpitate faster in your chest, fluttering sparks in your pussy as you prepare yourself to question him, "okay, it's a simple question, so...why me?"
"Why you, as in why we asked you to be our fucktoy?" he muses and you groan softly yet again, rolling back on your stomach to hold the pillow tighter under your chest.
"Yes. Why me? Why not someone else—maybe Wooyoung's friend, or San's or you know, Mingi's even." You grit your teeth, nervously chomping on your cheek to rid your anxiety.
Yunho chuckles, heartily, very proudly so because he wasn't sure if he had heard you right or not. "Do you think those losers have any girlfriends, Angel?"
"Why not?" you let a smile fleet on your lips.
"Because Wooyoung is a manwhore, he's slept with entire female population in his department and if it isn't obvious, I'm not interested in someone who could be a prospect carrier for herpes," he titters still, "I'm not slut-shaming him, but—ah well fuck it! I am slut-shaming him. Not my fault, he is a pathetic excuse for a human because hit and run is his specialty. Now, you tell me why any of his casualties would agree to our demands, let alone would want to sleep with us?"
You shake your head, trapping your lower lip with your teeth. "I get it. So, am I supposed to feel special?"
"Hmm, I'd rather consider myself lucky to have a cum-slut like you." you squeeze your thighs again, remembering the two nights you had spent with him. "Hold on a moment, let me park my car first."
You hum, restless and exhausted; your day hadn't been decorous since the morning, and considering you had two consecutive chemistry sessions today, you were definitely drained of your frisky energy. Yet, there's something about Yunho and talking to him while he drives around the town to get to the grocery store; at this point you questioned your motives and abilities—why were you getting turned on by a man driving his car to the store?
Maybe because it was very much attractive in your mind. Him, driving a hatchback (probably, you hadn't seen what car he drives), wearing a dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black shades on his eyes, the dainty rattling bracelets he usually adorns around his wrist—to conclude, the picture you were painting in your mind was the cause of your panties getting drenched.
Silence engulfs you, not necessarily, you could catch up on the soft shuffling sounds his clothes, or even his delicate grunts as he puts the car in park and gets out, slamming the door behind him. Although, there's a momentary hush when his phone gets disconnected from the car Bluetooth; he holds his phone close to his ear, while he straightens out a stray crease falling on his shirt near his waist.
"Angel?" he calls out, breaking your trance of staring at your study desk adjoining your bed, "you're still on line. Are you...?"
"I'm here, I did not fall asleep, though I think I might because of the very tiring day I've had." You pout, shifting on your bed to rest against the headboard, while you bring your legs to your chest.
Yunho chuckles, "ah my dear princess, I am coming over after I'm done with this tedious task. You're not gonna get much sleep then. I'd suggest you take a nap till I get done here."
"Oh." you bite your lips, glancing down at your chest. "Wake me up when you get here, and ah—p-s, I'm not wearing anything under my dress."
You hear him let out a breathy chortle, more like a scoff which taunts you into slipping your free hand to the hem of your silk dress. Coming back from the university, you were too exhausted to care about your outfit. You simply put on a coral shaded silk babydoll which barely covered your ass, with spaghetti straps and called it a day—of course, by also abandoning the underwear. So, you were practically naked under the flimsy silk dress, your breasts loose and hanging, your nipples taut from the friction and they really did poke through the material of your dress.  Both of you are quiet for a minute, but then you're also deeply submerged in the thoughts of him coming to your dorm room and fucking you. An annoying chime of bell dings in the background, followed by a soft sound of mechanical doors sliding open—that brings you down to earth, and so does his grumbling voice.
"An open invitation for me to wreck you in any way I want?" he muses, tittering as he moves past the doors and grabs himself a cart. "Princess, you better know what you're getting yourself into. I won't be gentle."
His warning only makes you wetter, your hand slithering past the hem of your dress to trace your fingers on your wet and slick folds. Biting back a whimper when the warmth of your fingers melts around your skin, you take a deep breath and throw your head behind. You knew your breathing would sound wispy to him if you tried to speak but you couldn't control yourself from not uttering a word.
"Yun—you can do—ahh..." you stutter, pressing your fingers against your mound, just above your clit, "I'll be waiting."
"Is my princess touching herself to the thought of me fucking her raw again?" he slurs his words, merely in a whisper considering he was in public. You were deaf to the somber tunes playing in the mart, you were too busy controlling your raspy breath because your desires were flaming you out.
"Yes..."
Yunho lets out a laugh and shakes his head, muttering under his breath then, "can't wait to taste that tight little cunt of yours. Rest well, princess."
He's the one to hang up on you; rather than throwing an imaginary fit, your mind is filled with the images of his cock straining in his pants as he meanders through the aisles of the supermarket. You might be too over in your head, but the exhaustion was slowly crawling up your spine. In no time you find yourself slipping against the headboard and slumping yourself properly in the bed. And in the few passing minutes, your eyes close and you're drifting away into your dreamland.
Dreamland. An alternate universe where you were living your wildest fantasies—maybe a little too realistically. The resonating voice of Yunho and his words were dwelling on your mind. Your imagination was coming to life, nonetheless in your dream. Soon, you're breathing out whimpers of desperation, squeezing your thighs together and murmuring your moans; you never thought you'd be having wet dreams, but you weren't fazed by the unpredictability. The tingling sensation in your pussy only grows when you envision Yunho with his head buried in between your legs, licking and lapping his tongue in your slit, over and over again.
A harsh tug at your lungs makes you breathe deeply, eyes squinting to the imaginary pleasure you were experiencing—with your brows scrunched together, you knew you were pooling in your lingerie. Though, in your dreams, Yunho doesn't stop, and it feels too real to not react to it; however, in the dark corner of your mind, you feel another presence.
Jongho.
The grinning man stands behind Yunho, arms folded over his chest, lips quivering with his eyes fixated on Yunho. Him watching Yunho eat you out was a turn on you didn't think you'd have. But there he was, with his twinkling gaze not once wavering off of you two. Why was it so hot? Why...? Out of the blue, a knot tied itself in your stomach and your guts loosen; the urge to just let go crosses your hazy mind but you try to hold it in. Until it gets too hard to bear and you're jerked out of your sleep.
You don't know how long it has been but when your eyes crack open, you're in direct contact with your open window and furling curtains. The space holds a beguiling view of the evening merging with the night, dark at the seams and bright in the middle. Purple and orange hues mixing together to a crisp shade of the fore-night; you're immersed in admiring the sky, too much to realize you had been holding yourself in. Though when the dire need starts tickling your stomach again, you rush out of your bed and head to the bathroom to relieve yourself.
Once your conscious clears out, you notice several things which have been cluttering your mind. One, you had a wet dream about Yunho and Jongho, two people you never thought you'd ever dream of. Two, as you're staring at your reflection in the mirror, you discern a wet patch on your dress, right near your lap; the dress must've been wedged in between your thighs when you were having that sensual dream. Three, you are really horny. Really really horny. Which sort of reminds you of yours and Yunho's conversation before you dozed off to sleep.
Biting your lip, you get out of the bathroom and dump yourself on the edge of the bed. Your eyes glance over at your desk to read the time on your alarm clock. 5:56 pm, it read, almost 6:00 pm you thought and heaved out a sigh. You run a hand through your hair and stroke out the tangles with your fingers. Searching for your phone, you find it near your pillow and grab it in a haste. When you watch the screen blare with the notifications, your breath hitches in your throat and then delves deeper down in your stomach.
Ten missed calls from your mom.
"Fuck," you curse under your breath and dial her number.
The ring resonates in your ear, infuriating and anxiety striking; yet you listen to it till it echoes out into the obnoxious droid voice telling you the 'number you've dialed is unavailable. Please try again'. You huff and call again but are met with the same outcome as before and it continues on for the next ten attempts you make to call her. Giving up at what you could remember as your twelfth try, you throw your phone aside and let the anxiety eat you out. How ironic was that, in your dreams it was Yunho, and in reality, it's your own mom.
You were certainly restless, weaving all these uncertain notions about your mom—your father too, but since you and your dad didn't really share much of an intimate bond, you weren't surprised to receive no calls from him. Soon, the anxiety reaches your gut, you're quivering with fear and second thoughts; what if it had been an emergency? What if your mom had something really important to say to you? What if you—what if you were too late to call her back? Everything was eventually gone in the blink of an eye.
Knock! Knock!
Two knocks sound on your door, and you flinch; even though you knew who was at your door, you couldn't shake off your perturbation regarding your family. It was true, you had stood up for yourself when your parents were against you pursuing your higher education in a different state but now all those moments were disappearing into a heap of worries. Did you even make the right decision of coming here? Given, you had scholarship and exempted tuition fee, was your decision to come here really ethical from all other perspectives?
Troubled, you drag your feet to answer the door. A trifling gasp is caught in your throat when instantly you're pushed against the door by someone's burly arms, closing the door in process. You were quite used to Yunho's scent, knowing he always carried around a delicate whiff of amber and peonies. The addicting scent rakes your senses to its fullest when his lips capture yours in a searing kiss. His lips move with yours, one arm around your waist tightly wound to keep you in place while his other hand cups a side of your face. Delighted, but mostly razed by his touches, a frail smile sculpts your lips, and you slide your arms all over his back to hold onto his shoulders.
The worries plaguing your mind soon melt away into the heat of your kiss; you're leaning in for more, diving headfirst into this beautiful mess when you know he's only going to tease you and not give in so easily. You're left whining when he bites down on your lower lip and tugs on it. Watching your lips wobble with a smirk on his plump ones, he chuckles softly and shakes his head. He grabs your jaw and pushes his fingers deep into your cheek for your mouth to open wide.
"Hey, Angel," one of his eyebrow twitches on his forehead when he calls out your name with a smirk. "You asked why you, right? I'll tell you why..."
He buries his head in the crook of your neck and sucks at a random spot on the juncture between your jaw and head. Warm tongue rubs your skin, before his teeth sink in and his lips suckle. You groan at the sensation, your mind numbing to any anxiety you felt before. His hand drops from your waist skims over the hem of your babydoll before diving under to trace it along your inner thigh; his fingertips graze against your wet folds before rubbing you down gently.
You prevent yourself from moaning out loud when his finger moves in and out of your slit at a slow pace. Holding your jaw tightly, he nudges your head back into the door.
"This—this fucking thing you have going," he mumbles against your neck, "I don't care about others and why they want you, but for me it's this—the way you're attuned with my body. And also, how fucking addicting you are to me."
You swallow thickly and throw your head further back against the door, banging yourself but you weren't bothered in the least. Hearing soft crinkles of a polythene bag, you peek at him through your half-lidded eyes; lustful gaze rummages around till your vision fills with the sight of him remaining buried in your neck, sucking deep purple bruises on your skin. The carnal darkness in your room is scattered when the lurid rays of moon wash over your invader. You notice him wearing a long coat over his outfit, you carefully listen to every crinkle of his dainty silver bracelets, and you're definitely lost in the appreciation of his teeth creating blotches on your skin.
"This thing started with us," he adds, a little breathless, "as much as I am willing to share you with my piddling flatmates, I can't pretend to be I'm okay with our arrangement. I'll be jealous, I'll be possessive. At certain times you might even see a side of me you probably won't find too adorable."
"I like it when you get jealous, though," you slur your words, smirking at him diligently. "I'm not sure what it is, but you rather have what belongs to you in your own ruthless ways."
Yunho coughs out a tiny chortle before stepping back and shaking his head; you stumble on your weak feet, watching him shrug off his long coat before flinging it over on the seat of the chair in front of your desk. Sighing dejected, as the anxiety once again starts bubbling under your skin, you make yourself comfortable on the edge of your bed. You kept your eyes on him as he loosens first few buttons of his pastel blue shirt—his bracelets keep chiming in time to time, with every movement of his hands. Just as you pictured him to be dressed; he wore a blue dress shirt adorning thin vertical white stripes and paired it with black trousers and boots. The faded blue hair of his was complementing the look, alongside the bits of silver jewelry he wore. He takes a step close to you and leans over to get to your face level; he slips a polythene bag in your lap and when you inspect into it, there are two plastic containers of peaches and strawberries. Did he get those for you? How thoughtful. He clears his throat, lips ghosting over yours as his arms plant themselves on either side of your thighs, trapping you against the bed this time. 
"The first time I saw you at the bookstore, all lost and bemused, like a deer in headlights—I wanted to ruin your innocence so fucking badly," he murmurs, his hot breath fanning your cheeks, "if only had you taken a peek in my head that day. It's a bit exhilarating, isn't it? —" he nudges you with a subtle nod of his head, his hands tracing along the length of your arms, "—how you had to be Jongho's friend. How you were dragged into this mess."
For the purpose of your sanity, your fingertips grasp onto the plastic containers, tightly so because the proximity between your faces kept on dithering to nothing. Running his hands back and forth along your arms, he trails one up to hold you in place by your neck; you gasp the sensation of his fingers tightening around your throat, sinking into your skin, suffocating you.
He presses his lips against yours in a mere touch to whisper, "maybe it's some sort of fate's blueprint or whatever. I don't really care what it is..." he hums out low and drags his words in a gentle mumble, "but I know there's a spark between us, between our bodies to be so profoundly in sync with each other."
Stifling a moan, you mutter against his lips, "are you done with this banal folly? If you are, then just shut up and fuck me."
He raises an eyebrow at you, a small smirk then fleeting on his lips. "Your wish is my command, princess."
"What...?"
You muse to yourself when he pulls away and takes a step back, he eyes you with a lustful twinkle in his eye and strides towards to the full length mirror you had accommodated beside your study desk for the time being. Your dorm wasn't much, to be honest. It was spacious, yes; a bed to a side, a study desk adjacent to it and other trivial things you had lying around, including a closet to the right side of the door, a mini fridge situated next to it, and to the left side of the door was the bathroom. Single room dormitories were expensive compared to the shared ones, but you didn't like the idea of having a roommate or two even.
"Was this the same mirror you used to send me that picture?" he questions, observing it closely.
"Yeah, what about it?" you place the plastic bag to your side and bite your lip, considering.
"Hmm," he purrs softly and picks the mirror up to place it right in front of you. "Let's set it here, shall we."
"What's on your mind, Yunho?" you whine softly, turning it into a chuckle when he prepares to get down on his knees before you. "Really...?"
As exasperated as your voice is, you can't hide your anticipation of your body when he slides himself closer to you. His hands on your thighs, sear a burn on your skin when he grips your flesh. Thumbs rub circles, till they're pressing down and sinking in; he pushes your legs apart, and you let him do as he pleases. One of his hands is already skimming across your thigh to the hem of your dress, pushing it up till it rolls around your chest. He holds it there, exposing your glistening cunt for his eyes to feast on.
"I said I'd be pining to taste you," he mutters in a breath, and gazes up at you, "so here I am. Unlike others, I deliver what I say, princess. And I've been craving a taste of you for quite a while now—since the day I saw you. But with the mirror in front, you can see it for yourself, the kind of mewling mess you become for my tongue."
He shrugs and pouts, tightening his hand which rested on your thigh, while he prompts you with a nod of his head to hold your dress up. You do as said, letting your trembling fingers clip on the hem of your dress to hold it up. Perusing your glistening cunt with his lust-filled eyes, his lips curl into a sly smirk. He slots himself closer to you, tracing his delicate lips down your abdomen, fluttering kisses which tickle your spine and your spark your cunt. Watching his reflection in the mirror was already fucking you up; but watching his reflection when his head is buried deep in between your legs was certainly savage. 
"And what are those fruits for? You were going to treat yourself, weren't you?" you mumble softly under your breath.
Dropping one hand to stroke his hair away from his forehead, you tangle your fingers in his luscious locks while trying to clasp your lower lip to bite back on any possible moans you might voice. His kisses trace up your stomach, up till he's giving your skin short kitten licks under your breasts. Your fingers pinch his hair, other hand struggling to hold your dress up—his thumbs help you soothe by rubbing circles on your thighs, engulfing you in a trance of comfort and ease.
"Of course, I'm treating myself," he mumbles under his breath, skimming his wet tongue down your abdomen to your stomach again. "Strawberries just taste better, you know."
Scoffing out in bewilderment, he presses a deep kiss just over your belly button and drags his lips slowly down, purposely teasing and nicking his teeth at your skin. You tilt your head back, your lips carved in a sleazy smile when the sensation of his soft lips flutter further down; your fingers tighten their hold on his faded blue locks, while other let's go of your dress. The silky material of your babydoll slips over his head, but he does not seem bothered as he continues littering soft kisses down your belly button.
And then, a moan hitches in your throat, anticipating. You're urged to squeeze your thighs together; only because his hot breaths were caressing your mound. His thumbs carried on rubbing circles in your flesh, soothing you bit by bit. In a way, his placid ministrations were helping you to keep your legs spread from him.
"Hmm, fuck," you gasp, voiceless, under your breath, screwing your eyes shut to the feeling of his soft lips pressing insanely close against your clit.
But you're left high when he pulls back, angling his head up to look at you; he wasn't fond of your dress slipping down your chest and waist, he didn't like it when your skin was covered. If you had the body to flaunt it, then why would you or anyone else want it covered? That was his logic, according to what you could stipulate from the week you had spent with him. Phrases and words like that made you an absolute puddle for him, you'd melt into a cold and sybaritic plash for him—all because you knew he would worship your body like the goddess you are, whenever he had the chance to. He has a chance now; he wasn't going to let it slip.
"You really like to tease me, don't you?" you squeak, listening to some shuffles of his clothes while your eyes peel open. "Now, what?"
"Getting rid of your lingerie," he grunts, huffing out a stubborn breath while lifting your babydoll over your head. Groping a handful of your tits, he buries his face in the valley of your chest and showers your skin with a few kisses. "I'd rather prefer you wearing nothing when you're around me. Can't get enough of this body, can't get enough..." he pauses, mulling over as his fingers dig into your fleshy tit, "...fuck, I'm all out of words to describe what this body means to me. Not just a fucktoy, no. Not at all. This body...hmm, this body should be displayed in a museum for being so fucking perfect. You're perfect for me, princess. Don't think otherwise, or else..."
Or else? You wondered. Not as much as exalting yourself in the way he was slurring his words, rambling even to get his point across. His teeth scratch your skin, his fingers now rolling your taut nipple; his other hand has been on your thigh all along, stroking circles to keep you levelheaded. You whimper at the sensation of his calloused hand kneading and groping one of your tits, while the other wasn't getting the attention it deserved. Turning your whimper into a whine, you look down at him, surprised to find him staring at you with the loudest smirk he could possibly scour.
"Aww, is my princess needy?" he tugs his lower lip out, brows scrunching down at the corners to feign his discretion. "My needy princess will get everything," he mutters against your skin, and leaves behind open mouth kisses when he gets to your other tit. "Hmmfyou—pfneeded—fthis?"
It drives you crazy how he was being muffled by your tit in his mouth; you glance down, biting your lip to avoid yourself from getting too aroused by the sight beneath. Oh lord, were you wrong. His lips had encased themselves around your flesh, tongue lapping and licking at your hardened peck; though, you could not resist being tempted by his doe eyes staring up at you with such nativity in them. His other hand squeezes your other tit, keeps it going till you're blabbering his name in wispy voice.
"Yunho...please," you shudder to the stimulation of your chest.
He hums around your tit, teeth slowly sinking in and biting lightly, his tongue was at it too, slicking it in his spit and unprecedented licks. Muttering a string of incoherent curses to yourself, you let your hand slip from his hair to the back of his neck, gripping tight. His moan gets muffled around your tit, sending spine-tingling vibrations to your cunt. You needed him, now. There was no way you could handle him playing with your chest like this.
He pulls his mouth back, reverberating a 'pop' sound on purpose as he does. "When I first saw you at the bookstore, I imagined you tasted like strawberries or peaches. So..." he blindly reaches out for the plastic containers of fruit he brought with him, while his other remains on your tit, caressing and pinching. "...coming across these at the grocery store was a good trip to the memory lane. I was reminded and I thought why not?"
"Let me devour you, princess."
You don't know what it was, but it was enough to make you leak. And in that while, you couldn't figure out how he got one of the strawberries out of the box you had placed to the side on bed before, and already had it in his mouth. The leaves were off the strawberry, conveniently—as he bites on it, the faint crimson juices slop past his lips and further down on his chin. You wanted to lick him clean. Maybe it was a silent yet coherent thought beeping in your mind, and maybe he had just read your mind. He slithers his hand along your arm and grabs the back of your neck, pulling you down, he lets his lips collide with yours.
Sweet. The redolent taste of strawberries fills up your mouth, eventually, a few bits of it when he forces his tongue in your mouth. There you are, frenching him while he shoves down the broken and mushy pieces of strawberries down your throat. Now, both of your chins are sticky and stained from the juices, though for you, a stray drop trickles past and falls perfectly in between your tits. 
A spark goes off in Yunho's mind when he feels the coldness of the drop dribbling over his hand which still played with your tit. You trace both of your hands to his shoulder and grip them tight, crinkling and creasing his shirt haphazardly—well, as if you cared.  He breaks the kiss and takes a deep breath in, while you're still breathless at how hard his tongue was shoving itself down your throat. A few pieces of strawberry are stuck in the gaps of your cheeks, and you swallow them down as you stare at him.
Picking out another strawberry, Yunho smirks slightly as he brings it to your mouth and prompts you to take a small bite out of it before he engulfs it whole. Again, the juices fill up his mouth, cumulative drops collecting themselves by the edge of his lips—but then don't spill, not until he buries his head back into your chest. A few drops roll down on your skin, his kisses soon turning into open mouth suckles. Pale stains of crimson trail with his mouth as he takes one of your tits in; it was the other one this time. His mouth wraps perfectly around your flesh, sucking and squeezing your tit with his lips and teeth. One of his hands snakes around your waist to rest on the small of your back, while the other cups a side of your face.
"This is awfully freaky," you mumble, dragging one of your hands to play with his hair falling on his nape. "But I like it freaky, you make it seem—ah," you gasp when you feel him give your nipple a gentle tug with his teeth, "—ah fuck, that feels good. So, fucking good..."
Your chest heaves up and down in his face, too bothered by him and his innocent eyes gazing up at you. The warmth of his mouth and the vague gelidity of the strawberry juices dissipates when he detaches himself from your chest; his smirk grows in his cheek, perusing the piece of art he had left behind on your chest. The sticky red strawberry pulp had adhered to your skin quite magnificently and he couldn't be prouder.
"This is just the tip of the iceberg," he winks, swallowing the remnants of fruit in his mouth. "I can get freakier."
Confidence in his eyes strikes you in the best way possible; you for sure know your cunt had drenched your bedsheets by now, all slick with the arousal his mouth was causing.
"Then get freakier, I need more from you."
In the erratic moment of time, he grabs another strawberry from the containers and props it right over your mound. The frigidity of the fruit was searing against your skin, that is only until he had fisted his hand around it and squeezed the life out of it—the pulp and juices trickled down, slotting itself perfectly in your folds and slit.
"Ah, fuck—you fucking bastard," you half-moan-half-chuckle, but it soon turns to an astonished gasp when his hot breath casts itself on your cunt before his wet tongue licks up your slit. "You—fuck—you fucking—you fucking freak!" you succumb to breathlessness and close your eyes tight; clutching his nape with both of your hands, you held onto him for your dear life.
He chortles against your slick folds and delves further down; the tip of his nose nudges with your clit at first, and then slides along your slit. How fucking good did that feel? You moan, your chest ripping itself apart when you do. It was unlike anything you had felt, especially considering pleasures received through oral stimulation. Yunho knew what he was doing, and he was doing it really well. His tongue licks up a stripe, lips sucking around your clit for a hot second before he drags them down to repeat the long and hard licks. You were squirming with a want, the oh-so sweet want of release.
Yunho's hands grip your inner thighs, his thumbs nudge and spread your cunt apart for the remaining pulp and juice of strawberry to roll down in between your folds. He leans in close and picks out the granules with his teeth, biting down softly as he does. It sends tremors under your skin, forces a saccade series of moans and groans out of you while your eyes squint tighter to let out tears. The pleasure was immeasurable, wooing you off into a faraway land of orgasm and joy.
You were delighted, so delighted to find your stomach knotting itself without having to be stimulated with penetration. He continues to lick and suck on your folds, gradually giving your clit some attention with his tongue while his hands groped your thighs and fingers dug in; they were leaving bruises tomorrow, but you were looking forward to it. Those handprints of his, they were going to be something you'd love to show off to your friends or someone.
"Fuck, Yunho. Your mouth—" you take a breath in through your mouth, "—it feels like I'm in paradise."
When your eyes open you see stars twinkling in the corner, your sight was full of them eventually—that is, as he carried on with his ruthless licks and flicks to your clit. The knot was intensifying, if anything, you really were on the verge of letting yourself go and watching you cum all over his face. Your face twitches and you're about...
Ring! Ring! Ring!
The high you once sought to, was now a deliberate low laying fruit; the knot disappears as the blaring sound of your phone's ringtone grows louder. You click your tongue, and blindly swat your hand on the bed next to you to find your phone. As you would recall, you did fling it somewhere when you went to answer the door. However, Yunho wasn't bothered by the deafening rings percolating in the room, he continues. A man on a mission. You mentally groan at that thought and sigh heavily when you find your phone in your hand. Checking the caller ID, you couldn't help but swipe the screen to answer the call.
Mom's calling you. She's calling you back. You needed answers, something to appease you about the ordeal where she felt the need to call you ten times.
Pressing the phone close to your ear and while gasping for air, you mumble, "he-hey mom."
"Oh, hey Angel—wait, did I get you at the wrong time?" you shake your head, trapping your moans in your mouth, "uh-huh, I was worried—I was worried about you and da—and dad. Giving me ten misse—ten missed—fuck."
All breath is knocked out of your lungs when you feel Yunho's tongue slither along your slit and his spit cover you up in its warmth; you're left to drawl on the remaining air in your lungs, specifically when he places his hand on your lower abdomen and forces you to lean behind into the mattress. Your back arches, your hips lift off the edge slightly for him to fix himself better between your legs. The angle your body now holds, gives him the perfect view of your hole. You squirm, wiggling your ass and bucking your hips into his face to get that much needed contact you had been craving for so long.
"Keep it hush, princess," he whispers, glaring up at you, "and watch your mouth when you're talking to your mother, hmm?"
You slightly glance down, hand trembling to hold the phone close to your ear—his face was breathtaking, glistening with your juices and the saccharine scent of the strawberry mixing in with your musk. The tip of his nose goes back to being buried in your slit, while his tongue rolls on your clit till it trails down to your hole.
Knowing where this was headed, you clutch the sheets under you and press your lips together. You so hoped your mom wasn't getting any ideas in her head about why your words were slurred or whimpered.
"Angie, I can call some other time," she murmurs from the other line, reminding you that you were still on call with her.
"Mom, just—just tell me—fuuc—hmmm," you cry out in pleasure when his tongue thrusts into your cunt. "I'm good—I'm good, you had me—hmmm—you had me worried—it's—"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, darling," she interrupts you, her tone soft and gentle. "The thing is, your dad..." she sighs and continues, "...in the last quarter of your dad's business—we're going under, Angel."
She comes straight to the point and bemused you; but your mind is occupied with Yunho's tongue shoving in and out of your cunt, slurping your juices, squelching your fleshy folds, and pressing the tip of his nose against your slick slit. You were done for better this time. The familiar knot ties itself in your stomach again. This time, your body rather hoped you'd get to come undone and release your tension all over his face. But, Yunho had some different ideas in his mind.
Hearing a bit of static from the other side, your mom continues, "you're understanding the weight of this situation, right? It brings me no peace to tell you that," she pauses and you hum, sinking your teeth further down in your lower lip as Yunho's tongue carries on with the abuse, "we can't support your accommodation, Angel. The tuition is already paid for, which we have no concern about since you're on your scholarship—but your dormitory fees, they'll be—you'll have to pay them yourself. Maybe, get a job? Or look for a new residence, where you have to share your rent?"
Her words were going over your head, regardless you were able to catch up on few phrases which sounded important and held grave promise to them. 'Look for a new residence.' Okay. 'Get a job?' Surely something you weren't looking forward to. But 'sharing a house with strangers?'A big no-no.
Though, all you could do was nod along and release your lip from your teeth to mumble, "sure—sure, fine. I'll—mom, I'll call you later at night—I promise, I'm busy—fuck."
The moment the curse escapes your mouth in the form of a moan, you hang up the call and squint your eyes shut; Yunho was thumbing your clit at an accelerated pace, stroking circles to let your orgasm delve deeper into your soul. Your phone slips out from your hand, falling down on the ground with a subtle thump while you bring both of your hands to rest them around his neck. Oh how tempted were you to push his head down, to make his tongue reach deeper into your swollen cunt.
"Fuck, Yun—Yun, I was on call—I was on a fucking call with my mom—fuck, couldn't you—couldn't you tone it down?" you stutter, trying to steady your erratic breath. 
Yunho hadn't stopped thrusting his tongue into you, neither had he stopped stroking your clit with his thumb—he doesn't utter a word and continues to do so. You were done with his teasing, huffing to yourself, you push his head down against yours cunt; now his tongue reached deep, submerged completely in your flesh and your walls clenched tightly around him.
"Yes, fuck, yeah, feels good. So good," you drool, throwing your head back and arching yourself to let the pleasure wash over you.
More importantly, your orgasm was only a few thrusts away; maybe a few flicks of his thumb could have you mewling at him as you release all over his tongue and face. The imaginary sight in your mind was riling you up in the worst ways already—you wonder what it'd be like if it were to come to life. Now that you do think about it, your dream comes crashing through—merging with the reality to spread goosebumps on your skin. Just imagining Jongho being present in the room, watching you get fucked by Yunho's tongue, was pushing you further to your edge.
"Yunho...? I'm—" you tap his shoulder twice, but he doesn't budge and continues to push his tongue in your cunt.
"Fuck." You yell and then scream out his name when you feel your walls clenching around his tongue one last time, "Yunho!"
His thumb stops toying with your clit, but his face remains buried in between your legs, his thumb having quit shoving itself into your cunt. You're flooding down his face, squealing and mumbling his name under your breath in a voiceless chant before catching a beat to respire properly. In the daze of your orgasm hitting you like a bucket of bricks, you hear him hum and nuzzle his head further into cunt; a second passes by in the heat of the moment, and he reels himself back. Leaning away eventually, he straightens himself and wipes his face with the back of his hand, getting some of your slick on the sleeves of his shirt.
"Are you insane?" you breathe out.
"Insane to get my princess cum on my face," he chuckles and shakes his head, "I hope you're feeling better now because I felt you tense up when you were talking to your mother."
He begins unbuttoning his shirt, one by one he undoes the button and shrugs his shirt off his shoulders. Exposing his toned body, he throws his shirt off to somewhere and gets on his feet. You're still trapped in the stupor of your orgasm, to even notice him shimmy out of his pants. Clad in his black briefs, he leans down to capture your lips in a gentle kiss.
"I've got a problem, Yunho," you murmur, and he nods, "and is it bad enough to keep us from fucking?"
Rolling your eyes you scoff, ready to shove him away, "are you really thinking with your dick, right now?"
He traces his lips down your jaw, leaving behind open mouth kisses along your skin to your neck. His hands roamed to her bare back, skimming his fingertips up front till he drags them painstakingly slow to your stomach and then further to your clit. You hug his shoulders, tight enough to hold onto him.
"You are less tense now, princess. I'm guessing my tricks are working, so...why won't I think with my dick?" he chuckles, kneeling down before you to slot himself between your spread legs.
"It's not about that, Yunho," your whine, suppressing a titter to yourself. "I'm practically homeless."
"What?" he gasps, amused and pulls back to stare at you, a confused smile sculpting on his lips.
"My parents are having some financial troubles; they are falling short to pay me for my accommodation," you pout, noticing the tent in his briefs, "so, I have to find a new place to live. And I don't where I can find an affordable apartment."
The worry lines on your forehead, concerns Yunho too. He licks his lower lip and sighs, "Angel, you can live with us."
"What now?" you massage circles into his shoulders as you hold them.
"Yeah, we've got a spare room in the loft. Well, Jongho occupied it not too long ago, but he can surely move back in with Mingi." He explains, wrapping his hands around your waist, "you don't have to pay us rent because you're going to be paying us in a different way...in all, it's the best arrangement you could ever ask for."
You think, muse and contemplate. To one side of your head you were agreeing with his proposition, but on the other side, you were marred with the thought of living with eight men out of which five were sexually interested in you and two had already fucked you good. Well, you're given no choice but to agree and get along with his deal.
"Hey, you don't have to give me an urgent answer," he mumbles, thumbing the sides of your waist, "after we're done here, you can come on over and we'll talk it out with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Capisce?"
"Why, are they supposedly the alpha males of the household?" you joke, giggling softly.
"Technically," Yunho shrugs, "Hongjoong owns the loft and he was generous enough to let us stay and share the rent. It started with me and Seonghwa, others eventually joined us through mutual friends—it was the beginning of our freshman year, so..."
"I'd need their permission?"
Yunho scoffs playfully, "princess, no. They'd be happy to welcome you in. But this is supposedly my suggestion and I fall a little short on making such decisions as compared to them. It's better if you talk with Hongjoong."
You sigh, "fine."
A smile fleets on your lips and it delves deeper in your cheek. "So, are you going to ease my mind or not?"
"You don't need to tell me twice, princess," he smirks, diving in to kiss you passionately so.
You kiss back with the same want, same heat crawling up your gut as his; the intensity wasn't dithering, neither was your anticipation. He pushes you back on the bed till you're laying under him and he straddles your lap. The kiss never stops, even when he fumbles with the waistband of his briefs to get them off in a haste. He somehow manages to tug his briefs down till his knees and his hard cock pokes your inner thigh, until the tip of his cock brushes past your lower stomach. His hands are back on you, holding your neck to position you better to deepen the kiss; his tongue wriggles its way in your mouth. For the moment it does, you feebly taste the redolence of strawberries and your cum on his tongue. There goes without saying, you still couldn't believe he let you cum on his face.
But who's to judge his preferences? You aren't a saint either. Definitely not.
Moaning into the kiss, you drag your hands up his back and let your fingertip tickle his skin. Breathless, Yunho breaks apart from the warmth of your mouth, missing the way his tongue was shoving down your throat, and uses one of his hands to pump his cock, while his other supports his weight when he places it next to your head. His back arches, his fingers stroking the reddened tip of his cock as bits of precum drips from the slit—he angles his hand in a way to spread his precum along the shaft with the palm of his hand.
"Fuck," he grunts, closing his eyes shut tight and continuing to pump his cock into his hand.
For you, this was definitely a sight more than breathtaking to witness. How often do you see a pretty blue haired man stroke his cock so eagerly for you? It went on to show how sorely he needed you and yearned to fuck your cunt. This only takes you back to the time when he had railed you so good and hard; you knew it he was untamed and being so feral with that huge cock, was indeed going to deliver the best.
You let out a soft whimper, adding in to the gentle sounding moans of his. Insane, absolutely insane. His moans were pretty, just like him and you know you could never get enough of him moaning.
"Take a deep breath for me, princess," he indicates you with a nudge of his head while he opens his eyes to look at you.
Taking a breath, you prepare yourself for his cock. He chuckles at you, admiring your intrepidity as he eases himself into you. Your face contorts in pain, with only his tip submerging in you. Knowing the pain would soon subside into pleasure, however it doesn't. Your brows twitch and your eyes squint tight enough for tears stream down the side of your face; your mouth falls agape, wide to the ache your walls sensing with the stretch.
"Ah—Yunho!" you gasp out loud, breaking out into a yell. "It hurts, stop."
And he stops. With same ease, he guides his cock out of you and cups your face immediately after noticing the tears in your eyes. You flutter your gaze across him, a little blurry but you still discern the concern etched on his face. 
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, voice gentle and wispy. "Am I hurting you?"
"It just," you hiccup, "it hurts like hell when you..."
"Oh," he trails off, "is it because of last week? I think it is. I was too rough back then, wasn't I?" Sighing, his caresses your cheeks and leans in to kiss a stray drop of your tear away from your lips, "you're not used to such a huge cock, are you? It's fine. I'll have to be more careful with you next time—were you feeling any discomfort after that night?"
"I'm not sure, I felt sore and really raw at that time. Maybe I couldn't decry between vaginal tears and soreness," you mumble, assuring him with a faint smile before continuing, "look, it's not your fault. I failed to identify—"
"God, Angel," he groans, "it's not your fault, and for fucks sake put the blame on me. I should've been gentle with you for the first time. You're not used to it—ugh, never mind, I'll have to get you used to my size otherwise..."
"I'll be fine, stop worrying so much," you cup his face in your palms and reassure him. "Now, can we just...let's just forget about it and focus on making you feel good. It's only fair if I return the favour."
You lick your lips and let your tongue poke out through your lower lip; glancing down at his still hardened cock, you drool and your eyes twinkle with lust. He grabs your chin and forces you to meet his eyes.
"I am not so fond of blow-jobs," he says, smirking and then looking around till his eyes fixate on your chair and study desk. "Get on your feet, I've got a better idea." He then stands up and holds his hand out for you.
"Okay, mister," you roll your eyes and set your wobbly feet down, grabbing his extended hand before pulling you close to his body.
Your naked bodies crash into each other and heat emanates from both of you; his arms wrap around your waist and tug you around. He positions you in front of the chair, and pushes you down by the small of your back to have you leaning over the chair. He's right behind you, situating his cock perfectly against your ass which was raised high in the air.
"Legs apart," he whispers his command too close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
Slapping your inner thighs, he establishes a small distance between your legs and slips himself into it, his cock slides easily amid your thighs, a little below your folds. The tip of his cock rubs against your slit, rubbing back and forth—you're driven wild with the sensation, and even more so when his hands grope your thighs from behind. His fingers dig, sink in tight enough for bruises to appear. Again, you looked forward to it, being decorated with his marks. Perfect for a possessive man like him.
"Fuck, this is your idea to make yourself cum?" you dreamily laugh out, throwing your head behind on his chest.
"Your thighs feel godly, princess," he susurrates, licking up the shell of your ear before biting down hard on your earlobe. "Squeeze them."
You do as he says, squeezing your thighs together to feel his cock slip in and out at a steady pace. He bucks his hips a little higher to let himself rub against your slit in long and consistent strokes. This was certainly new to you, yet you were getting stimulated close to your second orgasm. You didn't think you would because this wasn't the same as the time he had actually penetrated you. There's no space for you to complain, you were slipping close into the world of pleasure and sensuality to give a damn about whether his cock was pounding in you or fucking your thighs.
"Fuck, just as I fucking thought—just as I fucking imagined what it would be to fuck your thighs," he whimpers close to your ear and later on you realise he was leaning over to kiss your cheek. "Princess, you've got unquestionably the best thighs to fuck. So thick, so tight—just fucking perfect."
You know he had lost it riding himself in between your thighs but you, on the other hand hadn't quite recovered from your last orgasm yet. Or even figured out how you weren't alerted to your vaginal injuries. It'd be unfair to call them injuries, they were basic nicks in the muscles of your vagina and cervix, from tremendous and tedious sexual activity. Pushing those thoughts to the far corner of your mind, your knuckles turn white while holding onto the chair, you were starting to get hot and bothered—so close to your orgasm again.
His cock thrusted along your cunt, hard and slick with his precum, which supposedly provided enough lubrication for his strokes to be smooth and pleasant. Your skin was covered with it however, and you were resisting to picture how his cum would paint your thighs. Picking up his pace, he thrusts faster yet keeps them long and sharp. Your walls clench around nothing, while your stomach drops to your knees; your legs buckle under you, under the weight of sensory overload his cock was proffering.
He flattens his palms on your thighs and gives you light slaps on either of your thighs, "we need to keep them thick and fleshy like this. I bet others would enjoy fucking them as much as I am right now."
"Hmhm, yeah..." you moan, shutting off your cognitive dissonance and mumbling along with him, "thick for you—thick for Seonghwa—thick for everyone."
"Ah, you're already blabbering bullshit, aren't you?" he titters heartily, pulling his hips back and driving them in sharply. "My cock makes you dumb, doesn't it? Hmm...a pretty little slut like you would be dumb for anyone's cock, isn't it?"
His taunts make you shake your head, lips parting to whimper, "no, fuck, only for you—only for you, Yunho."
"That's what I thought," he gasps, increasing his back and rattling his hips into yours.
His death grip is back on your thighs, his eyes are shut tight as he lurches forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder; sweaty chest presses up against your back, while you hold onto the chair for your dear life and to sedate the tremors his thrusts which caused your body to keel. The same tightness grows heavy in your gut, your spine tingling with how close you were to your second orgasm—your nails scratch off the varnish on the chair, scrapping bits of wood in them as he plunges his cock ruthlessly in between in your thighs. You squeeze them firmly, sensing the knot coming undone in your lower belly.
"Are you going to cum for me, princess?"
You nod your head, closing your eyes shut and leaning back into his touch; the heat creeps up your stomach and in a second's beat, the tension slips into comfort. You're releasing all over his cock, splashing on his and your thighs, a bit on the floor too. This time, you were knocked out for good; this orgasm was far more intense than the last one, far more overpowering too. You're mumbling his name like a chant, while he lets a laugh rumble in his chest.
"Fuck, my princess really made a mess on my cock, and everywhere else." he adds, "now, be a good little whore and help me cum too."
Without any warning, he goes even harder and faster than before, causing your body to convulse to his relentless thrusts. His untamed desire was evident in the way his fingers were bruising your skin, how tightly he was groping your thighs to stable himself from his ever increasing pace of his thrusts. He could go for long, and he does; your brain is turned to a mush in regard to the time or energy—his cock keeps hitting your folds, and the tip keeps abusing your clit.
You were past the point of sanity, breaking apart at the seams with your foul mouth screaming out his name and moaning it as if he was your god—technically, he was starting to show you stars, galaxies and miracles behind your shut eyes. All this from only rubbing himself between your thighs; it makes you wonder how much wilder the sex would get once you get to move in with him. Those ideas are for later, right now, you were vicious with his cock.
"Princess, I'm close. Don't worry—fuck—squeeze them tighter, for me—fucking please," he babbles out in despair, and you clasp your thighs even tighter on his cock.
"Fucking perfect."
He words out in a heavy breath, bucking his hips in your thighs as the tip of his cock remains close by your slit; heaving out, the warmth of his cum coats your folds and your slit. Gradually, he starts pulling back, still letting his cum sputter on your skin before he releases all of him on your ass and back. A few of it streaks down your butt-crack, eventually seeping down your butthole. You're groaning out in pleasure and possibly due to overstimulation. Nonetheless, you were satisfied, more than satisfied to know he had painted your back with his cum.
You're both breathless when he leans away from your shoulder and steps back; his small laugh resonates around you before dissipating into a soft titter.
"Princess, you just fucking know how to take a cock, don't you?" he mumbles in his post-orgasm daze, while grabbing his trousers to pull out his handkerchief. "Well, let's get you cleaned and then we'll take a shower together. We are both...sticky."
"Sounds good to me," you manage to gibber, not sure if it was audible or not. "I could use a hot shower and thorough cleaning after this."
"Hmm, I'll gladly help you clean."
You're too weak to turn around, so he helps you swivel on your feet while he holds your body close to his for support. Lethargic and drained, your eyes were closing themselves involuntarily. It was the lack of sleep—the sleep deprivation was slowly catching up with you.
"Keep your eyes open, princess. I need you here with me, okay?" his voice soothes a nerve in your mind, and you nod, opening your eyes. "Guess I'll have to be quick."
"Of course."
The rest of the evening, basically half-evening-half-night goes by smoothly. You both did take a shower together without engaging in anything and got rid of the sweat and stench of sex—but unfortunately, your room still reeked of sex, sweat and cum. You didn't care. Not particularly when you were dragged out of your dorm room by Yunho, after getting dressed in fresh clothes. You wore a long and oversized hoodie, shaded black and didn't bother wearing shorts or pants underneath as it covered most of your skin. To your surprise, as soon as you had your lip gloss on (because you liked lip gloss more than lipsticks), he had your hands intertwined and he was pulling you out of the door. He was eager for you, and the seemingly harmless arrangement you were about to propose to Hongjoong and Seonghwa.
You would've never guessed that this man drives a red corvette stingray if you hadn't been strapped in the passenger's seat of his car. An innocent looking man like him, driving such a flashy sports car, was indeed a shock to you. Looks can be deceiving, so who really cares? Everything passes by you in a blur when he speeds down the road; eventually, the city lights turn into streaks of neon haze and starbursts, until you're by the complex where his loft was located. He parks his car, and helps you out. Your hand in his, he guides you in and takes you to the loft.
Your heart is in your throat, not because you were back to this place with Yunho by your side but because you were too scared to anticipate Hongjoong's and Seonghwa's judgment on your proposition. This has to go well, and it will. Right? You have Yunho with you. What could possibly go wrong?
Yunho unlocks the door and pushes it to usher you inside. His hand never leaves yours; his grip doesn't loosen up for even a second as his pulling you further up to the living room. You and he had taken off your shoes in a haste and did not bother slipping into the house slippers. However, the commotion of your footsteps and Yunho's constant murmurs of 'it'll be okay', 'they won't bite you' and 'just relax' had gotten certain attention from the people sitting on couch.
You're soon greeted with San and Jongho, especially Jongho who has a twinkling and excited smile carved on his face. Both of them were seated on the couch, San having a laptop perched on his lap while Jongho made his observations on the screen—they were clad in their night clothes, San wearing a pair of black pajamas with white cats all over it and Jongho, a pastel blue pajama set with brown bears on it.
"Angel!!" he glees, catching your glimpse next to Yunho, "what brings you here so late at night?" his tone simmers down to being confused.
San adds, "yeah, it's not our game night tonight."
"Guys, stop pestering her, okay?" Yunho groans, looking around, "where are Hongjoong and Seonghwa?"
"Seonghwa's in the kitchen—"
"What is it Jongho...oh hey, Angel!" Seonghwa interrupts Jongho and quickly turns it into an elated greeting. "Should I be concerned for you to make your appearance this late into the night—can't ignore the fact that Yunho's here too. Are you two eloping?"
He's walking out of the kitchen, draped in a variedly stained apron and a wooden spatula in his hand. He looks gorgeous as usual, covering his white turtleneck and black trousers with a grunge red apron—not only his outfit made you quiver, but his hair was also pushed back and tied in a small ponytail behind. If he looked this alluring even when you move in, then you don't think you'd be able to resist the urge to suck him off every time he appeared in front of you.
Yunho clears his throat, aggressively and it becomes a series of wretched coughs till he's gasping for air. "Don't go too hard on me, Hwa. You know how I am."
"Fuck your preferences, Yun," Seonghwa rolls his eyes, "what is the point in bringing Angel here?"
"Well, I'll let her explain it," Yunho sighs, giving you a nudge of his head.
"Uhh, yeah, I need to talk," you mumble, scratching the back of your neck with your other hand.
Your words alert Jongho and San, and they're saturated completely on you, regardless of a certain video playing on San's laptop. Seonghwa hums along, encouraging you with a nod of his head while biting his lower lip. Yunho only stares at you, keeping a frail smile on his face.
"So, go on."
A coarse yet pitched voice booms through the room, followed by nifty footsteps of the man you had been waiting to come. You assumed he was in his room or something, but not thinking he could be at work. Hongjoong strides in, running one of his hands through his hair and other stuffed in the pocket of his jogger shorts. You watch him adorning a black tank top over his toned chest and nothing else; his complexion was striking but wasn't as pale as Yunho. A pop of melatonin makes his skin a little tanned.
"I suppose, Yunho bringing you here is rather crucial for you." He says, walking over to sit next to Jongho. Spreading his legs apart and relaxing back on the couch, he repeats, "go on, Angel."
You clear your throat, "I—I actually—I actually need a place to stay. My parents—"
"—she's in no condition to pay for her university accommodation, so she's looking for a new place to stay. I asked her to come with me since we have a room to spare," Yunho interjects, his eyes trailing over at Jongho, "you'll have to move back in with Mingi, baby bear. You're understanding enough, right?"
Jongho ponders for a minute before silently nodding, "sure. I don't mind. Angel needs it more than me."
You can't help but crack a smile at him, heart palpitating faster in your chest. Yunho could hear your heartbeat, and he squeezes your hand to ease you out. Seonghwa notices it and smiles to himself, shaking his head at the two of you before excusing himself from the living room and going back into the kitchen.
Hongjoong finds it amusing, his lips twisting in a knowing smirk before he asks you, "that's not the issue, Angel. What I need to know from you is—rather what I'm aching to hear from you is, your riposte to my proposed idea of you..."
"I agree to it," you're too quick to reply, taking the man off guard and others too.
San remains confused because he had no clue what you were talking about. Now that he is here, does it mean he'll also be involved in this reverse harem thing you have going on with others? If San gets involved then would the others be involved too? Of course you're thinking about Wooyoung and Mingi, one is a reputed manwhore and other is a man who resents you. That too for no apparent reason—or for something you don't know.
"You do?" Jongho squeals, questioning you.
"Yeah, I don't mind being your..." you trail off, glazing your eyes over at San.
From the kitchen, you hear thudding of metal dishes and spoons, soon Seonghwa comes rushing out with his wooden spatula.
"She agrees?" he asks, and Yunho nods, "she said she'd need more time to think about it, but I guess..."
"Are you agreeing to it because of your living conditions, Angel?"
There it was, Hongjoong comes straight to point. Even his stare was detrimental for you, and how insanely intense it was to pierce through yours. Hongjoong clearly liked to dominate submissive women like you—he has how own share of kinks and customs he likes to follow in the bedroom. And some of them, might seem too unconventional. You didn't want your mind to stray too far off, but he seemed like the type who definitely delighted himself in playing with chains and cuffs.
"I'm not!" you retort, explaining yourself further, "I gave it some thought and I don't think it's a bad idea."
Your pout melts through the stubborn and ice cold heart of Hongjoong's—for a man with domineering aura, he sure is letting himself submit to you. He doesn't let his stoicism waver on his face, rather his purses his lips together and spreads his legs apart further.
"Don't think it's a bad idea?" he repeats your words in coherence to your judgement, "Angel, we don't want you doing anything you are uncomfortable with. Your consent means a lot to us."
"And you have it," your pout grows, and you vaguely point at Seonghwa and Yunho, "I've already gone to the extreme with him and him."
Hongjoong chuckles, and keeping his lips parted, his canines rest against his lower lip, "we'll add it to the very list of your sex chronicles with us."
Your face heats up and turns red, before you could open your mouth to retaliate, San pipes in, "so, you've discussed this before? She's our new...fucktoy?" he cringes thereafter, shrugging his shoulders and scrunching his face in disgust, "with all due respect, let me rephrase, you are our new arrangement to satisfy our sexual desires?"
You nod, your heart hammering in your chest. "Yeah, one and only."
"Are you really sure, Angel?" Jongho wants a confirmation from you and smile at him, wide and bright, wanting to erase his doubts. "Then I guess we no longer have to wait for your answer."
Seonghwa chimes in, "so, when are you moving in?"
"Oh, once this month gets over. There's only a week left anyway," you shrug, smiling a little, "I'll start packing right away."
Yunho hugs you from behind, kissing your neck; first you're caught off guard, second, he's doing this right in front of everyone and third, his scent was driving you crazy.
"I'll help you." He mumbles against your skin.
"Yunho, you know the ground rules," Hongjoong threatens and the man who was sticking to you like glue before, now detaches himself from you in an instant. "So, less P-D-A."
"Ugh, ground rules," Yunho whines, but steals a kiss from your cheek. "I'll go get changed and you are staying over tonight. Let's have dinner together, shall we?"
"Of course!" San sings, "we'll get to know you better too. I bet Wooyoung would be pretty excited to know more about you."
"Speaking of him, where is he?" Hongjoong inquires and Jongho answers, "it's the peak hour, where else would he be?"
Hongjoong nods, getting his answer and Seonghwa sprints back into the kitchen not long before announcing, "we've got enough food for you too, so you're staying here."
You quietly agree to him and swallow thickly, striding over to sit on the lone chair adjacent to the couch. That's when Mingi comes into the room from upstairs, his hair tousled and messy, wearing grey sweatpants and a grunge green graphic sweatshirt. He eyes you as he crosses the living room, glaring at you to set his point through. He didn't want you here. But, he couldn't go against Hongjoong's or Seonghwa's wishes.
"Look who's finally out of their room!" Jongho cheers, laughing and joking around before clearing his throat and informing Mingi, "oh well, guess what, Mingi. I'm shifting myself back into your room. Angel's moving in with us and taking over the spare room."
"What?" Mingi grunts, burning his eyes on you, through you, in all hating your presence in the room altogether.
"Y'all really addicted to this whore's cunt, aren't ya? Keep me out of your fucking deal. I ain't getting involved." 
And that fucking hurt your soul. But you keep quiet and while you're at it, Yunho walks in the heated room—Hongjoong and the others are about to defend you when Yunho does it himself. He adorns a conceited smirk and folds his arms over his chest, they bulge out through his grey hoodie somehow, but your eyes travel down to somewhere where they shouldn't have. His jogger shorts are too thin to show off the outline of his cock, he wasn't hard, but he was huge. Why are you drooling on his cock when you're having trouble in paradise? Not that you hadn't seen his cock before. And you are his damsel in distress.
"That's more for us then, Min." Yunho steps closer to him and gets all in his face,
"If you're not involved in this with us, then it's one less person we'll have to share her with."
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Bad Medicine
You give Eddie a call
Part 1: Rock the Night
Eddie Munson Masterlist
Minors go away I’ll kick you in the forehead. Phone Sex. Dirty Talk. Brief p in v sex (not really descriptive). Thinking of someone else while getting fucked. Masturbation (both). He calls you sweetheart and pretty baby (which I did not know made me basically feral so). Size Kink? Ig? He makes fun of you a little for crying lmaoo. It literally turned into you getting off while Eddie basically degrades you a little but he also praises you too Ig Idk its kinda all over the place, he doesn't know if you're a sweetheart or a whore, so, I told you the pretty baby made me feral. He calls you so many names I- no pronouns used though.
You were so close, so very very close. The image of Eddie last week, hovering over while he fucked that final orgasm out of you, had completely replaced the sight of Charles. Your head was thrown back, your eyes were closed, and your teeth were dug into your bottom lip to keep from calling Eddie’s name.
When you felt his rhythm go sloppy you knew it was over, he’d be cumming soon and you’d be left unsatisfied, again. You tightened your grip on him, trying to keep him close so maybe he’d get the hint and just keep fucking you for once, but instead he knocked your hands away and fell beside you, placing a lazy kiss to your forehead before he was rolling over to go to sleep with not even a good night, love you, good job, fuck off, or anything.
You lifted up on your elbow and looked down at him, your eyes widening as he already started snoring, scoffing. “Are you fucking serious?” You whispered, plopping back on the bed and glaring at the ceiling. You stood up and made your way to the bathroom, shaking your head as you leaned against the sink and slid your hand under the nightgown Charles hadn’t bothered to slip off, your fingers circling your clit as you started to think about Eddie again, your other hand curling around the edge of the sink.
You thought about the way his fingers moved inside you, how they twisted and curled to reach places even you didn't know existed. How his cock felt splitting you open. The absolutely filthy things he said to you as you laid pliant underneath him, more than happy to just lay and take what he was giving.
“From now on... when he falls asleep.. I want you to call me while you touch yourself. Got it?” Eddie’s words rang through your head like he was right next to you, you even looked to make sure he wasn’t, and to your dismay, you were alone in the too-bright bathroom.
You ripped your hand away like it was on fire and ran to the phone as quietly as you could, kneeling on the couch as you dialed Eddie’s number, chewing on your nail lightly. When the phone picked up you could hear laughing on the other end, and immediately deflated. Great, Eddie’s busy, now you were gonna have to take care of it alone. “Munson- shut up, man!” Eddie’s vibrant laugh ran through your ears and went straight to your pussy, already throbbing again.
“Munson. What’s up?” You bit your lip and shifted a little. “Hi, Eddie. Is-is this a bad time?” You hoped the tone in your voice gave away what you wanted, and judging by the noise Eddie made, it did. “No such thing, sweetheart.” Then, you heard the sound of the phone likely sitting on some kind of surface.
“Alright get the fuck out!” “What?! Dude what the hell?! We were gonna watch Halloween 3 next!” “I got more important shit! Let’s go!” You couldn’t help but laugh at the sound of Eddie arguing and ushering his friends out the door, shaking your head fondly.
“Sorry about that, sweetheart.” He purred. “Now.. if I’m remembering correctly I told you to call whenever you had sex and he didn’t let you finish… this the first time he’s touched you since then?”
You shuddered a little and nodded before remembering he couldn’t see you. “Yeah..” you said softly, biting your lip hard as he scoffed.
“Fucking pathetic.” He huffed. “What are you doing now, sweetheart?” “I’m sitting on the couch… waiting for you to help me cum.” You said softly, a mixture of a growl/groan ringing in your ears. “Oh, poor pretty baby.” He purred softly.
“I bet… you’ve got your pretty thighs pressed so tight together… that pretty little pussy of yours just begging to be touched.” You could hear his belt buckle now, the metal clinking loudly as he tugged it from his belt loops. “Were you thinking about me?” You could practically hear the smirk on his face. “While he was fucking that greedy little pussy of yours?” He started talking again before you could. “I bet you were… I bet… all you could think about was how my big cock felt splitting you open… fucking every last orgasm out of you.”
You shuddered and moaned, your hand sliding between your legs as you rubbed slowly. “Eddie..” you whispered softly, blushing deeply. "Were you?" Eddie cooed lightly. "Y-yes.." you glanced towards the hall. Charles was a pretty heavy sleeper so you doubted you'd have to worry much about him waking up and catching you, had you gotten your own orgasm you might've felt proud that your pussy put him to sleep so fast and so hard, but now, now it was just annoying.
"I-I had to bite my lip to keep from saying your name... I couldn't stop thinking about how much bigger you are than him." Your head fell back, almost completely lost in the fantasy again. "Are you touching yourself? I don't remember telling you to touch yourself." Eddie taunted, making you whine. "No, Eddie please... I need to." You begged softly, though you stopped your hand, fingers pressed against your clit but not moving.
Eddie groaned lowly. "You.. are so luckily I'm not right there with you, sweetheart." You licked your lips slowly. "W-why? What would you do..?" You and Charles weren't very experimental, dating through your school years it was very unlikely for you to be doing something like this on your mother's couch. But you weren't on your mother's couch, you weren't 17 anymore, and you were on the phone with Eddie Munson, not Charles. Charles, who was nuzzled away blissfully unaware that you were touching yourself to the sound of Eddie munon's breathing, companied by the soft echo of his rings hitting the phone whenever he would shift.
"Have you crying like before." Eddie started mimicking your whimpers and pleas of his name. "Oh. Eddie, please. Please let me cum, Eds. Oh pretty please." He mocked, his voice breathy and desperate to mimic how yours had been. The taunting had you circling your fingers again, biting your lip hard as you let out a shuddery breath. The sounds stopped abruptly and so did you, holding your breath.
"You better not be playing with that pretty clit." Eddie tsked. "I never said you could, sweetheart. Am I gonna have to find a new nickname to fit you better? Can't call you sweetheart if you can't even follow simple instructions."
You whined. "but Eddie~" "But Eddie~" Eddie mimicked, causing you to blink rapidly. "Are you seriously-" "Oh, Eddie. Please fuck me. I need your fat cock." He interrupted, giving slightly exaggerated moans. "I'm dripping for you." Eddie's voice shuddered with his words, almost like he was getting off on it just as much as you were.
"P-please, Eddie... wanna touch myself. Please." You whined. "Need to cum so bad, been thinking about you all week." His breathy laugh echoed through your head again and you swallowed thickly as you bit down on your lip. "All week, huh?" He licked his lips as you let out a desperate agreeing sound. "Go ahead, sweetheart, since you've been so patient all week."
you immediately started to circle your fingers again, shuddering a little and moaning as you dropped your head back. "Thank you, Eds." You whined happily. "Thank you, Eds." Eddie mimicked, chuckling softly. "Listen to you. Thanking the town Freak for letting you play with your pussy." He tsked teasingly. "Maybe I do need to find another name for you." The shudder in his voice was back again, and if you strained your ears you could hear the jingling of his wallet chain, the sound making you flashback to that night.
"L-Like what?" You asked softly, arching your back a little as you closed your eyes. "Oh I could think of so many~" Eddie shifted to get more confortable, the clack of his rings making you shudder and moan. Everything about this phone call had you thinking about that night, the way Eddie's fingers felt inside you, the way he moaned into your ear, the way his mouth pursed when he gathered spit, just to drip onto your tongue.
"Swallow... there ya go, pretty baby. Very good~" Eddie's cooed words echoed loudly in your head. "Are you listening, y/n?" You blinked rapidly and looked at the phone in your hand. "y-yes. I'm listening..."
"Really? Then what did I say?" He hummed thoughtfully into the receiver, making a ticcing (like the clock sound on that gameshow jeopardy? I dont watch those things) sound with his tongue when you. "That little pussy of yours is so fucking greedy you can't even listen?" Eddie chuckled and you could hear him shaking his head.
"I can't help it, Eds... I keep thinking about you... how you felt inside me." You shuddered a little. "Aww, poor baby..." Eddie let out a small moan. "I've been thinkin' about you too. All week... didn't matter where I was I was thinking about how your pretty pussy swallowed me up." He groaned softly. "Like my own personal little slut." He purred softly.
You whimpered happily at the thought, circling your fingers faster as you shuddered. "Oh, you like that, don't ya?" Eddie chuckled. "You like being called my little slut?" He hummed softly. "god I'd have you screaming right now." He growled lowly. "Begging for my cock again~ you sounded so pretty, baby." He said softly, his head thumping against the wall behind him. "Wanted to cover you in marks, show you how pretty that skin looks littered with bites and hickeys."
"Eddie~" You whimpered softly. "Go ahead and slide your fingers in, baby. I know you want to. Give it what it wants." He purred. You slid two of your fingers in immediately, moaning happily as you melted into the couch, sighing happily and closing your eyes.
"Aww there you go, you sound so pretty." Eddie groaned happily. "Not as pretty as when I pushed my cock into you, but pretty nonetheless." He teased. "Bet you don't sound half as pretty when he fucks you, do you?"
"No." You said quickly, whimpering softly. "I'm louder with you than with him. So much louder." You moaned, trying to mimic what Eddie had done with his fingers last week, shuddering happily as you felt the knot start to build again.
"I bet you are." Eddie chuckled and licked his lips slowly. "I bet that greedy little pussy of yours is throbbing right now, begging to be fucked." When you made a sound of agreement he chuckled softly.
"Need you so bad, Eddie. Felt so good inside me." You whined happily, rocking down as you added a third finger, thrusting and curling them like Eddie had, your eyelids fluttering as you heard Eddie breathing heavily on the other side of the phone.
"Are-are you-?" "Yeah, sweetheart." he moaned softly, grunting softly into the phone, you could practically see Eddie in front of you, fisting his thick, gorgeous cock, making you watch him but not letting you touch him. "You just sound so fucking good when you say my name like that." He purred happily, his voice shaky.
"Got me thinking about that pussy again~" He moaned. "When you gonna let me fuck you again?" He hummed softly. "want you to come back and let me eat that pretty pussy again."
"Whenever you want, Eds." You said quickly, whimpering happily. "You can fuck me whenever you want w-wherever you want." You moaned.
"Yeah? You wanna bend over for me? You think about me fucking you out in public? For everyone to see how much of a whore you are for The Freak? Hm?" You whimpered happily. "I bet you do." Eddie chuckled softly.
"Think about me taking you in the bathroom after a show? i saw you there last Tuesday." He moaned. "Did you like the show, little slut?" You bit your lip and moaned happily, thrusting your fingers a little harder.
"Y-Yeah. Y.. You looked so good on stage." You said shyly. "I-I couldn't stop looking at your hands." You moaned. "Yeah? Did you play with that pretty pussy when you got home?" he smirked. "You think about my thick fingers fucking your pussy?" He purred softly, the sentence ending in a moan.
"Yeah." You whimpered happily, nodding quickly even if he couldn't see you. "Did you even wait before you were sinking those pretty fingers of yours in?" "No." You replied quickly, prayoing he would just keep talking to you like that, his own voice shaky and on edge as he fucked his own fist.
"Greedy, greedy." He tsked. "Should've talked to me, sweetheart, we could've been doing this." He teased. "Didn't have to wait for him to send you to me, I would've been more than happy to make you cum that night."
"I... I wanted to but-but he was there.." Eddie chuckled. "And that's stopping you now? I mean, look at yourself." He stopped to moan, imagining to sight of you kneeling on the couch with your fingers buried inside you. "Fingering yourself to the thought of Eddie Munson fucking you, while Charles sleeps just down the hall."
Eddie had been to your house enough by now to know some of the layout, and that fact alone was enough to drive you insane. The both of you were well aware of how close the bedroom was. "What would he think if he saw you right now, hm?" He grunted and let out a shuddering breath, but he continued speaking so you figured it was rhetorical. "Fuck, haven't been able to get you out of my head, Doll." He whispered, his voice slightly strained. You were both so close, there was a thought, in the back of your head, wondering if Eddie could hear the squelching sounds.
"Every time I get a moment to think," you heard him take a deep breath, harmonizing with the soft gasp that left your lips, your fingers grazing against your gspot before you started massaging there, moaning happily as your head fell back. "Oh I know that sound." He teased. "You gonna cum sweetheart?" He moaned softly. "Yeah." You whimpered softly.
"Fuck. Go ahead. I'm right there with you, pretty baby." He moaned into the phone, his rings sliding and clinking against the phone when it started to slip out of his grip before he caught it.
God that nickname was driving you mad. You whimpered happily and pressed yoru face into the cushion of the couch as you moaned louder than you wanted to, the sound muffled by the couch. Eddie was cumming right on the tailend of yours, grunting out a weak moan of your name, the distant thud of his shoe hitting the floor echoing just enough for it to accompany his moans.
"Fuck.." He whispered softly, panting heavily. "Clean your fingers for me, sweetheart." He said softly, his ears perking up at the sound of you sucking on your fingers. "Good job.. now I want you to get you some water, eating something, use the bathroom, clean yourself up, and have a very, very good sleep. understood?"
You couldn't help but smile. "Okay. Bye." You went to hang up but heard his voice loudly protesting. "Excuse you. but I expect to hear you drink that water and eat." You laughed softly and got up, thankful Charles had got one of the cordless phones like you asked, and went to the kitchen, talking with Eddie until you went to clean up.
"Goodnight, beautiful." You smiled and bit your lip. "Goodnight, Eddie." You said softly before hanging up the phone, practically floating to the bathroom.
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Tag List:
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rafescoke · 3 years
Note
i’m sooo obsessed with your entire page holy moly. if you’re taking requests can i get kinda an angst one where the reader is with jj and finds out him and kie have been doing stuff behind her back, and the rest of the group knew the whole time? so she ends up getting close to rafe and hanging out with his friends so it eventually ends up with rafe x reader??? sorry that’s so long lol pls never stop writing, i love your fics too much <3
All I Ask ; Rafe Cameron
masterlist
#Part 1
#Part 2
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader x JJ Maybank
Summary: Reader finds herself in the arms of her best friend’s brother after finding her boyfriend cheating on her 
Warnings: Cheating, substance, mentions of sex, jealous Rafe, JJ & Kie being an asshole
A/N: Thank you so much for the amount of love I received from my last two works! It has been so overwhelming and I love each one of you with all my heart <3
p.s, my request box is always open! Send random ideas and I’ll turn them into a fic <33
p.p.s, so sorry if this isn’t my best work :(
“Come on, (Y/N), don’t be a party pooper!”
(Y/N) rolled her eyes as she pulled her best friend aside from all the commotion, “Sarah. I’m serious. I feel like he’s cheating on me.”
“He’s not!” Sarah groaned, and when (Y/N) gave her a look, she sighed. “I’m serious. He loves you too much, okay? Look, tomorrow’s your birthday, right? I’m sure JJ’s just ignoring you as a part of your birthday surprise.”
(Y/N) wanted to believe her so bad, but she couldn’t deny the strong feeling growing inside her. Ever since a month ago, JJ wasn’t there for her like always. When she tried to hold him in the van or at the Chateau, he would flinch and scoot away from her. She didn’t know what to do anymore.
“Look-” Sarah cupped her face, her eyes boring into hers. “I promise that he’s not cheating on you. Can you please let this go? How about you go and find him, have a smoke, and then come back to me with the verdict?”
(Y/N) hummed back in response, thinking about what Sarah had just told her. When she first moved to Obx from the city 4 years ago, she had been spending most of her time with the other kooks. When she bumped onto JJ one particular evening while he was too busy mowing down her lawn, that was when most of her happiest days started. 
(Y/N) made her way towards the far end of the beach where JJ and the other pogues were hanging out, her feet lightly patting against the hot sand. (Y/N) took a deep breath when she saw the love of her life laughing on a log, and quickly walked towards him.
“Hey,” she started, sitting on the empty space beside him. JJ shifted, giving her more space, and muttered a quick ‘hi’ back. He offered her a beer, to which she shook her head to, and he shrugged before downing the whole content.
“You’ve got some beer here,” (Y/N) said, leaning forward to wipe the tiny droplet on his chin. JJ hurtled backwards as if on cue, and quickly wiped the stain with the back of his hand. (Y/N) stared at him, being caught off guard, but decided to not create any drama.
“You really don’t have to do that,” (Y/N) muttered, wrapping her cardigan over her tighter. The cold night air swept over her, causing her hair to fall over her shoulders. She didn’t bother to fix it as she watched JJ scoffed, the fire in front of them reflecting on the surface of his blue eyes.
“Do what? Wipe my mouth? Come on, (Y/N), it’s really not that big of a deal,” JJ sighed. He didn’t even bother to hold her hand, to reassure her that it’s really okay, and instead he continued his conversation with John B about some kind of a movie. She noticed Pope looking at their way, but he quickly turned to look at the waves when she returned his gaze.
“Do you want to smoke?” she tried again, this time with her hands on his lap. He didn’t move, and (Y/N) took this as a good sign, her heart fluttering happily. 
It’s progress.
“You sure?” he asked, fumbling with his back pocket to reach for his extra blunt. When he grasped the rolled up herbs between his fingers, he handed it to her, smiling when she scooted closer. He lighted it for her, watching her took a deep huff before blowing the smoke.
“That’s good?” he asked before taking a blow for himself. He felt his heavy mind getting lighter, the weight he has been holding since forever slowly lifting into the air. He laughed, and turned to look at the state of the girl beside him.
“Thank you, baby,” (Y/N) smiled, this time with her head on his shoulder. She saw Pope looking at them with some kind of a heavy look again, but just like before, he turned away before she could ask him anything. 
“Pope?” 
Pope’s attention from the crashing waves turned completely to (Y/N), his eyes wide and his mind panicking. His eyes glanced to the blonde boy beside her for a second, but it settled back to her. “Yes?”
“You’re okay? You keep looking at me. Is there anything that you want to tell me?”
“Me?” he pointed to his chest, and when he saw the look on JJ’s face, he laughed, making an action of swatting his hands against the air. “Oh no. I was just thinking about something else. I guess I involuntarily looked at you.”
(Y/N) laughed with him, her head still on JJ’s shoulder, her eyes slowly squinting against the glowing fire that seemed to be too bright. She turned to whisper to JJ, “Can we go home?”
“Tonight? But It’s Bonfire night. We can’t leave yet,” he protested, glancing at both of his friends for help. Pope, not wanting to spend anymore time with them anymore, quickly stood up from his seat and walked towards the main space of the party. 
“I’m gonna go with Pope, okay? Find Sarah. Go and talk to her? I’ll call you later,” JJ quickly added, standing up from his seat, stirring (Y/N) from her previous position. She sighed, her head still woozy, but she didn’t want to think about the possibility of him cheating on her.
He wanted her first, it’s just not possible for him to suddenly lose feelings for her. The countless times he would tell her that he loves her, that she’s the only girl he will ever mark as his, and now nothing?
She groaned, kicking the sand, all while the muffled music thrumming against her eardrums. She turned to look at John B, the only guy left with her, and opened her mouth to say something.
“Do you see the problem, John B?” she asked, her voice slow. When he didn’t reply, she sighed again, this time standing up from her seat to return to the ongoing party. “This is exactly the fucking problem.”
She didn’t understand; why is everyone treating her differently? What did she do? She sacrificed almost everything to be apart of their group, including her relationship with her kook friends. At that moment, she longed for her bedroom, where she knew she will be totally safe, all cuddled up with Netflix to enjoy.
“If it isn’t the princess,” a voice said from behind her back, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes before turning to look at the source. The tall figure of Rafe Cameron loomed over her, and (Y/N) tried to block his scent of cigarette and expensive cologne. She never really stopped liking his smell.
The Camerons and her family are business partners, and that was the core reason for her family to move to Obx in the middle of July 4 years ago. Meeting Sarah and her siblings for the first time, she couldn’t deny the strong attraction she felt towards the oldest sibling, but she had thought of it as nothing more than a silly crush and tried to focus more on her relationship with a certain blonde boy living on the other side of the island.
“You can take a picture, it’ll last longer that way,” he smiled, and (Y/N) groaned when she could hear the amused tone lacing in his gruff voice. She made to walk away, but was halted by Rafe’s fingers around her wrist.
“Come on, I was just playing. That’s not the way to treat an old friend,” he laughed, letting go of her. He looked around her, noticing her odd behaviour, and suppressed his smile. “Where’s the boyfriend?”
“I don’t know,” she finally replied, and returned the gesture of looking around him. “Where’s the girlfriend?”
Rafe laughed, throwing his head back as his hair messily slicked to the back. “Girlfriend? I don’t do girlfriends. Come on, (Y/N), you know that.”
“Not a surprise,” she said in a singing tone, giving her attention towards the dancing bodies next to the speaker. “Look, Rafe, just say whatever you want to say to me, okay? I’m tired of trying to figure out what people wanted to say to me.” 
“I just want to make a conversation,” he shrugged, chugging down his beer before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His actions reminded her of JJ, and she quickly looked away when she felt a pang of hurt across her heart.
“Uh-oh, I know that look,” Rafe said, tugging her chin to force her to look at him. (Y/N) grunted, feeling his cold skin against hers, but she let him stare into her eyes before quickly pulling away. “Yeah. It’s that look you’ll put when you’re worried about something. What’s up?”
“Rafe, it’s really nothing,” she sighed, scooting away from the boy. She looked around again, and her eyes landed on a certain blonde boy, and she could feel her heart soaring up again. Rafe’s eyes followed her gaze, and when he saw JJ, he turned to look away.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Rafe replied, already making his way towards the keg station.  (Y/N) noticed the change in his behaviour, seeing how cold he turned, but decided not to mention it. She was being cold towards him first, so she guessed it was fair for him to be acting that way. 
Rafe didn’t understand how blind she could be. Couldn’t she notice the pattern of the girls he fucked? How they all looked so similar to her? 
He scoffed, sipping from his red cup as he watched her walk towards the boy that stole her from him. Everything was going perfect; they were hanging out almost every day; just her and Rafe, either it was in his swimming pool or (Y/N)’s hot tub. When her father had hired JJ Maybank to mower his lawn, that was when everything went downhill. 
“Cameron,” a voice greeted from beside him, and when he turned to look at the figure, he expressed a sly smirk.
One more person that looked like her.
. . .
JJ’s phone was beside her.
She kept telling herself no, that she should trust him since they are in a relationship, but her brain was yelling for her to go through his phone.
He’s cheating on you.
She groaned, unable to contain herself anymore as she grabbed his phone, looking around briefly before typing his passcode. 
The phone vibrated in her hands as she failed to guess his passcode, and she frowned before the screen. It had been her birthday’s date, so why wouldn’t it open? She tried again with their anniversary date, and again, was met with the same fate.
“What the fuck?” she said to no one in particular, and sighed before trying out random numbers. Lastly, she pressed all 1, not thinking much of it and already accepting her defeat. She exclaimed in happiness when his home screen appeared with his background a picture of a dog.
(Y/N) frowned again, remembering how it used to be a picture of them, but decided to not question it as their picture had been replaced by a dog instead of something else. She went through his Instagram, scroling down the many direct messages, through his Imessages; where he texts the pogues a lot and through his Snapchat, only finding their private pictures in his ‘my eyes only’.
She released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding, shutting the phone off and letting it lay in its previous position. She smiled, secretly cursing at herself for ever doubting JJ. He must’ve been busy with his life, just-
Ding!
Involuntarily, (Y/N) picked up the phone and watched as Kie’s name appeared. She typed in his passcode quickly, trying to see what she needs so that she could try and help her with anything in case if it’s urgent. Her heart stopped for a minute when she saw her text.
Kie: You’re sleeping with her tonight?
Why would she even text him that?
(Y/N) sat up straighter, her fingers gliding across the screen in a swift motion.
wdym?
She watched as the typing signal appeared, biting the insides of her cheeks. She looked at the direction of the toilet again, hearing the blonde boy humming to a Nirvana song. She looked at the screen again.
Kie: You promised me you would be with me tonight
Kie: Just us two
Oh my god.
She could feel the hot tears coming in, but her bathroom door creaked open, so she threw the phone back to its initial position and cleared her throat, looking to the ceiling and randomly muttering words to herself.
“Huh?” JJ asked, looking at the direction she pointed. He saw nothing, and looked back to her. 
“I said white’s not the color anymore. I think I’m changing it to grey. What do you think?” She asked, feeling her throat hurting. She cleared her throat again as JJ stared at the ceiling one more time, his face all scrunched up.
“I think grey’s okay?” He said, but it was more to a question. He took his phone and sat beside her, shielding his screen from her. She watched him from the corners of her eyes, silently interpreting his strange demeanor. 
She cursed when it finally hit her; she hadn’t delete her text to Kie.
She bit her lips, curling her toes and randomly tracing circles on her lap. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see clearly, she couldn’t think.
How could she forgot to delete that one, single text? 
“I have to go,” JJ stood up, slipping his phone into his pocket. (Y/N) looked at him, ready to ask if she could follow, but halted her action when he put a hand up.
“I’m seeing John B. Something about, um, Sarah stuff. Just me and Pope. The boys,” he muttered, clearly trying to tell her that he wouldn’t be bringing her to the Chateau. (Y/N) nodded, feeling her heart sank, because she finally understood everything;
The glances he would give to Kie in the HMS Pogue, the brief moments where he would put his hands around Kie’s waist when he tries to slip in between her and someone, the flirtatious laugh he’ll emit when she makes a joke - it all made sense.
(Y/N) used to think that it was all just friendly behaviour and how he had known her longer hence it must’ve been normal for best friends to do that. One thing that (Y/N) likes about herself is how she’s able to guess things correctly - 
But she had never wanted to be so wrong about something before.
“You’re okay by yourself tonight?” 
“Huh?” She finally looked up to him, seeing his blue eyes staring straight into her boring ones. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” he smiled, proceeding towards the open window to exit her bedroom. (Y/N) ‘s father would never give his blessings towards this relationship, so he had to enter and exit his girlfriend’s room through the window. 
He hesitated before reaching the seating girl, placing a soft but immediate kiss on her cheeks. (Y/N) smiled weakly in return, not trusting herself to say anything.
How could he?
Ten minutes after his departure, (Y/N) quickly grabbed her father’s car keys before fleeing after a particular black motorcycle. She didn’t even think about turning the car radio on, and her mind was set on only one thing; JJ and Kie.
When she arrived at the Chateau, her fingers trembling and her hair all over the place from the wind while she was driving down the road, forgetting to close the window, she quickly made her way to their usual hanging out place.
Before she could enter the room, Pope’s voice interrupted her actions.
“(Y/N)? What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes widening. He looked at her palm around the doorknob, and let out a nervous laugh. “You’re looking for JJ? He’s not here.”
She gets it now.
“Pope, I know,” was all she said before opening the door. 
She felt her world shattering right after she was greeted with the sight of Kie on JJ’s lap, running her fingers through his blonde locks while she kissed him tenderly like  (Y/N) always did. John B and Sarah were right next to him, cheering him on, but stopped when they finally looked up to the looming figure.
“Oh my god,” Kie exclaimed, pushing herself off JJ and fixing her hair. (Y/N) made a look, disgust filling every inch of her body as she quickly walked away from the scene, not wanting to hear any apologies or explanation.
None of that mattered to her; she just wanted to go home.
“(Y/N)!” she heard him yell, but she exited the Chateau as fast as her feet could take her, not stopping to look at him. She cursed when she couldn’t find the right key to open her door, her fingernails clanking against the metal.
“It was a dare!” JJ said, right after he reached her. He watched as she didn’t pay any attention towards him, still fumbling for her keys. “I swear! The kiss was just a dare!”
“Was the text a dare as well?” she asked, finally putting the right key into the keyhole and stepping into the car. JJ cursed and stepped aside, feeling drained and tired from the screaming.
Of course he didn’t send the ‘wdym’. He never like short forms, only using them when he is in the toilet and typing with his left hand. Why didn’t he realised this sooner?
“I’m sorry,” he said, but before he could say anything else, the girl drove straight towards the exit, away from him. 
The worst part of all wasn’t about not having a chance to explain himself to get out of the mess he made, but it was when he saw the pained look on her face. 
“Fuck!” he yelled, kicking a stone and making his way back towards the Chateau. 
(Y/N) fingers scrolled down the many contacts in her phone as she tried to focus on the road simultaneously, and finally stopping when she reached the letter ‘R’ contacts. 
She tapped on the first name under the R letter, putting the phone call on speaker and placing her phone on her lap. She shuddered, suddenly remembering the way she had found JJ and Kie in, but shook her head when his voice filled the atmosphere.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Rafe.”
-
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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years
Text
Inner Conflict
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 3586
Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Some Angst, Some Fluff, Sam and Bucky being idiots, Mentions of PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression
A/N: Here’s Part Three to my FATWS Series, which I’m making a masterlist for that you can find Here. 
Uh…it’s a little long, and I apologize for that. It doesn’t even encompass the whole second episode, only the first half, so a Part 3.5 will be coming out later today probably (it’s my day off work so I have all day to relax and write!) I tried not doing a line for line rewrite of the episode, but there are quotes from the show in here. Mostly it’s Reader’s thoughts and feelings towards what’s happening while conversations are going on around. Reader’s backstory is a bit more unfurled. It’s more action packed and more scene-for-scene of the episode than the previous two. Less emotions shared and less hurt/comfort type of thing, but that’ll be back in the next part probably along with more scenes not in the show. The next part I’m planning won’t be as long, it’ll mainly just be the Couples Therapy scene and a bit more angst with her and Sam and her and Bucky.
Because there’s four more episodes and I don’t know what’s going to happen in them, I’m kinda hesitant on spilling out exactly what is going on with the Reader and what her role was on the original team, but we’ll get there. Also, I wasn’t expecting to be writing multiple pieces for one episode, but if the other episodes are as packed as this one, prepare yourself for more parts than anticipated. We’re already on Part 3 and I’ve got Part 3.5 coming. Just bare with me as I don’t know what’s going to happen in future episodes! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it! 
(Not beta’d so excuse any mistakes.)
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!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!
Walking out of the shower, ruffling a towel through your hair to dry it off, you froze at the sound of the TV. A sigh left your lips. It’s all he’d been doing the last few days - watching the news. Keeping up with the tour for the new Captain America.
You peeked out of the small bedroom to find Bucky sitting on the floor, brow creased as he watched John Walker talk to the Good Morning America hostess.
“You shouldn’t be watching that.” You spoke up, leaning on the doorway, still patting your hair dry. He glanced over to you, taking in the towel wrapped around you, before looking back at the TV. Seeing you like that wasn’t anything new. “Buck, I’m serious. Brooding over it won’t make anything better.”
“What do you want me to do?”
You let out a sigh, shifting your feet and biting your lip as you thought about how to respond. “I-I haven’t figured it out yet. But obsessing over the new guy-”
“Aren’t you mad?”
You frowned at his question, his eyes meeting yours once more. “I told you already that I am.”
He tilted his head, which he did when he was confused, his eyes narrowing. “Why don’t you show it? Why aren’t you screaming or cursing or crying or something? You, of all people-”
“Because it won’t help anything, Buck.” You shook your head, pushing off the wall. “I want to. But if I let myself go down that road…” Dropping your gaze to the floor, you take a breath, collecting your thoughts. “This is such a complicated situation, James. I’m being contacted left and right for a statement on the new Captain. People trying to see my reaction. Senators trying to get me to meet with him. I can’t let myself snap. I can’t.”
He scowled. “They’re still bothering you?”
A dry chuckle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Makes me miss the days when no one knew who I was; when I was the behind-the-scenes seventh Avenger. But I made that choice to come out, and I have to deal with the consequences now. Blowing up will only-”
“Even though I never met him…he feels like a brother.”
That one statement stopped you in your tracks. Bucky’s head whipped back to the TV, his jaw ticking, his nose scrunching up.
“Did he really just say that?”
Bucky merely nodded, his chest heaving as he tried getting his breathing under control. “Feel like snapping now?”
You purse your lips as you held in the tears stinging your eyes. After composing yourself, you moved over and grabbed the remote, letting out a tiny sniffle as you did so. You tentatively touched Bucky’s shoulder, silently asking him if he needed anything from you. His response was to open his arms, so you quickly got down besides him to hold him.
“He is my brother, doll.”
“I know, Buck.” You pressed a soft kiss to his head, which rested against your bare shoulder.
Your bare knees are pressed harshly against the wooden panels of the floor, and you’re twisted awkwardly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As long as he was comfortable, you would take the uncomfortable position. As long as he was being held, you would take the soreness it would leave. As long as you could help him be some sort of okay, you would take not being okay in this position.
 You two sat like that for a few more moments before your phone buzzed. You gave a sigh, pulling back and holding his cheeks in either hand. He wasn’t crying, although he was on the verge of doing so. You’d seen him cry before, so you knew he didn’t mind. For you it was a different story.
Bucky had maybe seen you cry twice since the whole Blip thing went down. And one of them was over the phone, so he didn’t see it so much as he heard it. You didn’t let yourself cry in front of him. Or anyone, for that matter. It was a part of you. The only person you ever felt comfortable enough around to cry in front of…wasn’t there. And you couldn’t change that.
“We’ll figure it out.” You told him, nodding gently and letting a small, sad smile quirk the corners of your lips up. “Okay? We’ll figure it out.”
The clench in his jaw loosened as your fingers worked circles into the hinge, making him relax and nod back. You pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before standing up, moving across the room to where your phone was on the counter. You assumed it’d be another government official or news reporter, so you were slightly shocked to see ‘Sammy’ flashing up at you.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you read his message, a slight pout forming on your face. 
“Doll?” Toned arms wrapped around you, warm and cool, his chin setting on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Sam. He needs my help with something.”
“I’m coming with you.”
You turned in his arms, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why?”
He shrugged, licking his lips. “You might need help.”
“Bucky, you can’t go if you’re just going to yell at him.”
“I won’t.”
You studied his features. He was lying, you knew that. Of course he was going to snap at Sam for giving up the shield. He was mad and they got on each others’ nerves every chance they could find, so of course he was going to.
But you still found yourself saying yes and telling him to go pack a bag. You were never able to say no to Steve and it seemed that got passed on. What a nuisance it was.
****************
And you were so right. It was the first thing he said once Sam came into view coming down the stairs.
“You shouldn’t have given up the shield, Sam.”
“James.” You squeezed the hand he was holding, voice pleading for him not to do this right now. He huffed, stepping back to let you greet Sam properly, giving the man a hug. “Hi, Sammy.”
“It’s been a while.” Sam commented, pulling back and holding you by the shoulders. “You look good. Not that you’ve ever looked otherwise.”
You gave him a small smile. “You do too.”
“Thanks for coming. I know it’s short notice, but-”
“It’s fine, Sam. Really.” You insist.
Sam nodded, before eyeing Bucky. “Did you have to bring him?”
“Samuel-”
“This is wrong.” Bucky cut in, staring Sam down, falling into step besides him as the man started heading outside.
“James-”
“Hey, hey. Look. I’m working, all right?”
You rolled your eyes as the two started arguing, stopping your stride to take a breather. You used to joke about babysitting them, but it didn’t feel like a joke anymore and you were getting tired of it. All the bickering for no reason. The contempt they held for one another. Steve made you promise that you would look out for them, and you were trying, but they weren’t making it easy.
When you joined them again, you raised an eyebrow at the direction the conversation turned. How the hell did they get from arguing about the shield to what a wizard is?
“Ahh! Haha! A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat!”
You gave Sam a look as he babbled about how he was right. “Sorcerer Mickey has a hat. Isn’t that, like, how he gets his powers and everything?”
Bucky grinned at you. “Thank you!”
“Excuse you!” Sam scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at you. “We were having a conversation!”
“Yeah. A stupid conversation I just ended. Now I’m gonna be in the plane. Feel free to join me when you’re done being idiots.”
They both spluttered, but you were already walking away, leaving no room for arguments. As you loaded onto the plane, you spotted the Lieutenant whom Sam mentioned who had been helping him out with missions. Torres, you thought, remembering his name from a previous phone call with your friend.
“You Lieutenant Torres?” You asked, walking up to him.
He blinked, before his eyes widened, a grin appearing on his face. He seemed young, which you were perfectly okay with considering you’ve been working alongside old men for the past decade. It was always nice to work with a fresh face, which you found after you started working with Wanda and Peter.
The thought of the two youngest members made you falter, not having heard from either of them since Christmas almost six months prior, but you quickly recovered yourself, shaking away the worries you had for them.
“You’re Y/N Y/L/N! I’m a huge fan! I’ve read all your files!”
Chuckling a little, you held out your hand. “Most of those are heavily classified.”
He ducked his head with a little blush, rubbing the back of his neck after shaking your hand. “I, uh, I might’ve…used connections.”
“It’s okay.” You reassured him, throwing him a wink. “I won’t tell. Can you tell me what’s going on? Sam didn’t exactly explain the situation.”
He nodded, getting into ‘work mode’, something you’ve seen in most military men, informing you of their recent missions and the group known as the Flag-Smashers and giving you a file on them. He was in the middle of telling you about his solo mission in Germany when your two fellas came in, sending each other small glares, but remaining quiet.
Bucky caught your eye and sent an apologetic look your way, to which you just smiled at before turning back to Torres.
“Well I’m glad you’re okay.” You told him once he was done.
“Oh yeah. It wasn’t that bad.”
You laughed and nodded. “I’m sure. You seem like a tough kid.”
He smiled, before looking around and jabbing his thumb behind his shoulder. “I-I’ve gotta go, but-”
“We can talk later.” You promised with a grin.
“Really?!”
“Of course! I have a feeling we’ll be working together more, and I like getting to know who’s gonna have my back.”
He beamed and nodded, walking backwards. “That’d be awesome! Talk to you later then!”
You giggled as he turned around and jogged off, pumping his fist in the air. You turned to a grinning Sam and nodded towards where Torres left. “I like him. Seems like a nice kid.”
“He is. Very energetic. A little reckless, but he’s got a good heart.”
You hummed, the smile falling from your face as you flipped through the file Torres gave you. “So…Munich?”
“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry again for taking you away from the search, but-”
“Search is off.” You informed him quickly, not looking up. “Until further notice.”
The plane went quiet, before Sam cleared his throat. “So…no sign of Wanda yet, then?”
You shut the file, looking up at the men whose features were laced with concern. “I’m gonna go talk to the pilot. Behave while I’m gone. No pushing each other off the plane.”
“Doll?”
You were stopped by the hand that grabbed your wrist as you passed Bucky. You shot him another smile, knowing it wasn’t convincing enough for him, but it being the best one you had. “I’m okay. I’ve just gotta ask him some questions.”
************
Opening your mouth to stop him, you groaned when Bucky jumped out of the plane before you could speak. First Sam jumps without sharing the plan, then Bucky jumps without having a plan. Or a parachute. Or wings. Or anything.
Torres looked at you, but all you could do was shrug. “I dunno what to tell you, kid.”
“You’re not gonna do that, are you?”
“No.” You reassured him, shaking your head. “I’m gonna wait ‘til we land like a normal person and take my bike. I just have to pray that they’ll wait to do anything stupid until I get there.”
They didn’t wait. You’re pretty sure they didn’t even think about waiting. By the time you got to them, they were fighting - and losing, might you add - to six really strong people on top of two semi trucks.
Because why wouldn’t they?
Oh, oh. And on top of that, the fake was there, throwing the shield. The shield that didn’t belong to him. The shield that meant so much more than he would ever know.
“Hi, doll! Sorry we started the party without you!” Bucky shouted from where he was hanging off the edge, that close to the street and getting his head torn off by the tire.
“I’m so tired of babysitting you two, you know that?!”
“Oh! Sorry we’re such an inconvenience for you! Blame him! He jumped the gun!” Sam shouted, coming to fly next to you as you rolled up your sleeves, standing on your bike, using one hand to steer.
“Can I get a little help already?!”
“Sam-!”
“On it!”
Knowing that no matter how much they pissed each other off, Sam would make sure Bucky was okay and vice versa, you focused on getting to the top, where Walker and a buddy of his were struggling a little bit.
You climbed up to the roof of the semi no one was on, wincing when you heard your bike skidding across the pavement. There goes half your salary.
You couldn’t dwell on it for very long, considering one of the guys appeared in front of you. You recognized the fighting - the strength - and faltered, a memory resurfacing at a very bad time.
~
“C’mon, honey. You can do better than that.” Steve grinned at you, holding out a hand to help you up.
“Excuse me for not having super strength, Rogers.” You huffed out, taking it and letting him pull you up.
“You don’t need to be stronger than me. You just need to be smarter.”
“That’ll be easy.” You teased, stretching your arms before getting into your stance again. “You’re a dumbass sometimes.”
“Yeah, well, who chose to be friends with this dumbass?”
“Everyone needs a dumbass for a friend.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “So I’m your dumbass?”
“If you want.”
The grin he shot you made your heart skip a beat. “If you’ll have me.”
~
You blinked, but Steve wasn’t in front of you anymore and you weren’t in the gym in DC. 
The guy caught the punch you distractedly threw and twisted your arm, making you cry out, kicking him in the back of the knee and flipping him over your shoulder.
You went to kick him again, but he caught your leg and threw you against the side of the other semi. You were able to grab onto where Bucky had ripped through the side, but you winced as the metal cut through your palm. Sam had just flown under the trucks, taking Buck with him, and you knew when a fight wasn’t worth it, so you quickly moved around the truck, letting Walker and his pal distract the Flag-Smashers, before letting yourself fall onto the side where the grass was.
You wanted to lay there, to catch your breath and curse yourself for getting distracted. You hadn’t had a flashback like that in a while. But you didn’t let yourself. You had to make sure the guys were okay.
Standing up made you cringe; you could feel the throbbing in your shoulder from where it was no doubt dislocated and your leg was aching, the muscle probably pulled when the guy threw you.
“Doll!” You turned, seeing Bucky and Sam sprinting towards you a few yards down the road. “Hey, hey.” Bucky immediately had his hands hovering over you, scanning your body. “Are you okay?”
You nodded, shoving his hands away. “I’m fine.”
“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”
“I think I dislocated it.”
Sam frowned. “What the hell happened?”
You gave him a weird look, starting to limp across the field to where you noticed a side road earlier. “They were super soldiers, Sam. And we got our asses kicked.”
“Yeah, but you know how to fight a super soldier-”
“It’s been a while.”
“Bullshit.” Sam side stepped in front of you, making you stop. “What happened?”
“I-I just got distracted, okay?”
“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky took your face between his palms, eyes worried. “Are you okay?”
You nodded. A tired sigh left your lips and you looked anywhere but his eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just hurting. My leg, I think I pulled it or something-”
“C’mere.” Bucky turned and crouched down, making you blink.
“What?”
“You shouldn’t be walking. We don’t wanna make it worse.”
“But it’s just a strain, it won’t-”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Just get on the man’s back, Y/N.”
You bit your lip before sighing and carefully climbing on his back. He shifted you gently, making sure to hold your leg with caution, leaning his head into yours when you hooked your chin on his shoulder. “You-you don’t have to talk about what happened. Just-just know that when you do…I’ll be here, okay?”
You nodded, moving to press your nose against the column of his throat. “Okay.”
But you could never tell them. How could you? How could you tell the world’s longest POW that you were having nightmares? How could you complain to an Air Force vet who served two tours in Afghanistan and watched his best friend get blown out of the air that you were having flashbacks?
You weren’t sure if it was PTSD or anxiety or depression. Maybe all three. It didn’t matter, though, because you didn’t want to admit it. You wouldn’t admit it. No one thought the Blip messed you up that badly. No one thought Steve leaving did that much damage. And you were okay with that. You were okay with them thinking you were healing - that you were fine - because they needed to see that it could be done. That they could be fine, too. Especially the men walking, Sam teasing Bucky per usual.
It wasn’t until a horn honked that you allowed yourself to be pulled out of your thoughts. A scoff left you when you realized who it was, switching the side you were laying on so your cheek pressed up against the cool metal of his left shoulder, facing away from the jeep.
You tried ignoring the guy as he talked about working together and shit, taking a shuddering breath, making Bucky squeeze your uninjured thigh. There was no way you were working with him. You couldn’t. It’d be like betraying Steve and you didn’t need that on top of all the other things you were dealing with.
You couldn’t deny the need for a ride though. The airport was 20 miles away and you were hurting pretty bad. You suspected that was the reason the guys relented, Bucky tenderly setting you down in the jeep between him and Sam, careful of your injuries.
You stared at your lap as Walker and Sam talked shop. You understood where they were coming from, you were always able to see both sides of the coin, but it didn’t mean you were going to willingly work with him.
“I got mad respect for all of y’all, but you were kind of getting your asses kicked till we showed up.”
You scoffed at that, finally raising your eyes to meet Walker’s friend’s. “Like you were doing any better?”
Bucky reached over to grab her hand that was resting on her lap. “You know, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you.” Walker faced you, eyes raking down your form. Bucky shifted in his spot, but you ran your thumb over his knuckles before he could do or say anything stupid.
“Yeah. I know. My phone hasn’t stopped blowing up for a week. Thanks for that, by the way.”
Walker frowned. “If you just answered-”
“I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. I’ve been a little busy doing my job to blow smoke up your ass on national television. Sorry if my saving people’s lives has been an inconvenience for you, but some wannabe playing dress up isn’t my top priority.”
Walker’s brows furrowed and he was about to say something, when Bucky cut in, asking his friend who he was. You were already that close to jumping out of the jeep, when the guy, Hoskins, told you three that he went by ‘Battlestar’.
If the situation wasn’t so aggravating, you would’ve laughed when Bucky immediately told the driver to stop, opening the door before the car even stopped. “C’mere, doll.” He murmured, lifting you up into his arms bridal style, before walking off, tuning out Walker as he shouted after you two.
You pouted a little when you saw Sam still talking to the guy. “What’re they talking about, Buck?”
“Some nonsense about him not replacing Steve. Just trying to be the best Captain America he can.”
You laid your head against Bucky’s chest. “The best Captain America is Steve. He can never be Steve.”
“I know, doll.”
“Steve told me once that all he was trying to do was be a good man…it’ll always amaze me that he didn’t see he was the best.”
You missed the distraught look Bucky shot towards you, the look in his eyes almost heartbroken while you talked fondly about his best friend. The tortured scrunch to his features seemed to melt away at your next words, though, and he held you tighter as you curled into his hold.
“Just like it amazes me that you don’t know how important you are to me too, Buckaroo.”
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kob131 · 2 years
Text
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebVideo/FixingRWBY
So, guess who found out that Fixing RWBY has a TV tropes page, thus I DON’T have to deal with Celtic Phoenix’s ass?
“Team RWBY don’t become a cohesive team until the end of Volume 1!”
... So...like canon then? Just with people being dicks.
“Nora has self worth issues and jealousy in regards to Pyrrha!”
... Why? What purpose would that even serve? That kind of also ruins the whole innocent atmosphere that the original two Volumes had which is why Volume 3′s shift was so effective.
“Arslan is obsessed with proving herself to Pyrrha because she’s Lionheart’s niece here!”
... Okay so, not only is a one-off character now getting a major character arc but she’s also now a relative of another disconnected character while also being disconnected with the themes of the original show?
This reeks of fanfiction. No really, how many fanfics do this stuff? Next thing you know a minor character that got killed off will suddenly be saved and get a huge boost in relevance.
“Penny’s probably dead for good this time!”
... So Volume 8 then?
“Cardin loses an eye, Velvet loses an ear, Cardin loses an eye and Neptune is crippled in the Fall of Beacon-”
WOW, what the fuck?! Where did this come from? 
The tone of RWBY is akin to classic, haunting fairy tales. Scary, dark and uneasy...but still hopeful fantasy. Kind of like how Red Vs. Blue has an idealized view of war and soldiers. This is more akin to Game of Thrones modern fantasy. The maiming is thrown around with far more abandon than in the original, fitting a different tone. This... just doesn’t mix.
“The Grimm are far more dangerous-!”
Oh... Okay, that I can understand. That’s pretty reasonabl-
“-to the point Team RWBY can barely fight them!”
... And they don’t immediately die in the plot where they would be in serious danger against the original Grimm with these massive buffs...why? And do i even need to talk about the tone here?
“Weiss is so racist now that she outright says Fanaus are naturally subservient to humans; she says it’s childish to think that Fanaus are equal to humans; she openly disobeys Ruby’s orders because she wants to be the leader; she blames everyone else and tries to get transferred to another team!”
We get it, you like A Song of Ice and Fire. Now can you get back to writing RWBY?
“Nora’s jealousy comes from Pyrrha being praised all the time when JNPR shows up, outright saying she’s addicted to attention and that Nora’s better than her! She also lashed out at Jaune by saying he would be shit without her!”
WE GET IT. YOU LIKE A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE. THIS IS RWBY. WRITE. RWBY.
“Team ABRN is openly racist, calling Ren, Nora and Pyrrha not true Mistralians!”
... ... ...
You’re the type of guy who says George R.R. Martin is better than Tolkien aren’t you?
“Shad. E Mann is now Raven’s lover and Vernal’s dad with Raven!”
Cool, where’s Taiyang?
“Hazel’s sibling is a brother who was Ozpin’s old host named Magnus!”
... So we’ve removed the “Gretal” from “Hansel and Gretal” and tried justifying a man ignoring his grief and pain to lash out at everyone. Yay...
“Oscar’s gone!”
...Why? I haven’t seen anyone mentioned as his new host yet despite the main cast having been gone over. Did Qrow get him? ... That’s kind of dumb. I mean, not as dumb as a cowardly villains ideologically opposed to Ozpin and RWBY as  a series but still...
“Malachite has gone mad with grief at losing her twin sister and attacks Roman in revenge!”
What the fuck, this is just Hazel. This is Hazel but minus the nuance. And why Roman? Shouldn’t he be dead?
“Yang’s friends in Volume 1 actually exist and have plot relevance!”
I don’t care.
“CFVY are now mentors to Team RWBY!”
Can we give that time to making Weiss likeable? Or at least making Blake equal to her?
“Neo shows up in Volume 1 and Mistral!”
...So Volume 6 onward then?
“Tuskon runs an underground railroad for Fanaus”
Cool, don’t care.
“The WF Lieutennat is now a recurring character!”
I’d rather watch Friday the 13th thank you.
“Ciel is a recurring character in Volume 2!”
Can we have Ruby instead?
“Roman becomes a full time main character, being Ozpin’s host!”
...
I’m not even going to dignify this or the rest with my own effort. You can have someone else’s
https://youtu.be/H_V7q8XhuBk?t=228
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myherowritings · 3 years
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PART 3. ACCIDENTAL SUGAR DADDY?
SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.
PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader
WORD COUNT. 2.4k
GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut
WARNINGS. none in this chapter
A/N. happy new year y’all! :3 i hope you have a good 2021 and here is some flirty ceo!shouto for u to enjoy as we enter the new year hehe ;) thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! xx sof
SERIES MASTERLIST
© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.
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“I heard you dropped by this weekend,” you said as a greeting, a playful smile on your lips. “Looking for me?”
If the tips of his ears didn’t tinge pink, you would have guessed Shouto was completely unaffected by your words. 
“Mn.” He drew his attention away from your gaze and pointedly adjusted his cufflinks. “Good morning to you too.” 
You laughed, accepting you wouldn’t get anything out of your attempt at teasing. “Morning, Shouto. How was your weekend?” 
The cafe was quite busy this hour, but Miyazaki took over the other register to alleviate the stress (though, what she really said was so you and pretty boy—who happened to be rich rich—could talk). Whatever the reason, you were glad for a small break whenever you could get it.
“You could say it was busy,” he replied, sounding a bit tired. For the first time since you met him, you actually noticed how exhausted he looked. You wanted to put cucumbers on his eyes and lay his head down on your lap to coax him to sleep. Nonetheless, he smiled softly at you. “And yours? I hope you were able to have time to rest and relax.”
You nodded. “I just slept a lot and caught up on the shows I missed throughout the week.”
“The real way a weekend should be spent.” 
His voice was teasing but he didn’t sound mocking. Just...somewhat playful. There was something about his tone that made you want to hear it again.
“Something tells me you need a weekend away where you could just relax and do nothing,” you commented, tapping the back of your pen to your chin. “Do you not have any days off at work?” 
He considered this. “Depends what you mean by day off.” 
“If you have to ask that, that probably means you don’t have a day off, huh?” you said with a frown, holding your hand over your chest as you sighed dramatically. “You poor thing. Overworked and tired. Maybe I should steal you away one weekend and get you to just relax.” 
You were only half-serious.
“Maybe you should,” agreed Shouto, sounding full-serious.
“Maybe I will,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. Maybe you could if you actually had his number… Then, feeling shameful you said, “But, ah, anyway, what can I get for you today? We actually have cheese danishes again!”
His face brightened. “You do? I’ll take five dozen.”
With a laugh you took down his order. You really weren’t sure where all these pastries were going when he bought it, but judging from his expression, you figured it must be somewhere good. 
“And for your drink?”
“This time I’ll have a large green tea with almond milk, please.” 
You nodded but tilted your head to the side in question. “No coffee with extra shots of espresso today?” 
“I add too much sugar and creamer to my coffee,” he admitted sheepishly. “And with all the baked goods I’ve been eating I realized I may have had an excess amount of sweets lately.” 
With an understanding laugh you patted his hand that was resting on the counter woefully. “I can definitely relate to that. If too many sweets are bad for you they shouldn’t have made it taste so good.”
Shouto glanced down at where your hands touched, an expression you couldn’t quite discern on his face. Averting your gaze, you quickly pulled your hand back. Was that inappropriate of you? Did he find it too pushy?
“Oh— Sorry about that,” you said, rubbing your elbow with your opposite hand. “Got a bit ahead of myself there.”
“No, it’s fine.” He blinked once. “I didn’t mind.”
Unsure if he meant anything by that and unsure if you were reading too much into things, you simply brushed the topic off and moved on to getting his order in telling him the price. 
“Paying by card again, I’m assuming?” you asked before hitting the appropriate button on the screen.
“Correct.”
By now the sight of the sleek and pretty credit card was one you grew rather fond of as he scanned over the payment terminal and signed his name. Was it weird you wanted to examine his signature more closely? Shouto seemed like the type of person who would have a fancy signature that somehow looked like art. 
As per routine, you told him his order would be ready for pick up at his right and, before he left the register, he thanked you and gave you another $100. 
Did it feel any less strange than the first time he tipped you? Not really, no. But you still weren’t going to complain about a generous tip from a willing customer.
Before he left with his cheese danishes and cup of tea in hand, he stopped by next to you with a small smile. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”
You grinned back. “Can’t wait, Shouto!” 
— ✩ —
This went on for a whole other week. By this point, he had given you over $1,000 in tip and you were starting to feel like you should give him something in return despite him assuring you he didn’t expect anything. 
When you told your friends about the nice guy you met while you were working and they asked for the details, the first thing they said in response to your situation was, “Sugar daddy?” 
Before they planted that thought into your head, you just took it as a rich businessman who hated the rich and believed in redistribution of wealth—you couldn’t complain about that. That made him even more appealing, if you must say. But once Kaminari and Ashido whispered those two words, you couldn’t help but see the comparisons. 
You had no issues with sugar daddies or sugar babies; as long as they were two consenting adults, what did it matter to you? It just wasn’t something you were looking for at the time and you didn’t want Shouto to get the wrong impression or involve yourself in something you weren’t ready to. 
As you commuted to work for your next morning shift, you told yourself today was the day you’d thank him one final time for the tips, but tell him you couldn’t accept anymore. You were sure he’d be understanding but you also hoped it wouldn’t deter him from coming to see you. That was the last thing you’d want. 
“Mrs. Miyazaki,” you said between customers. “When Shouto comes in, do you think I can step away from the register to talk to him for a little? I promise it’ll be brief!”
She waved her hand dismissively. “That’s not a problem. Are you finally going to ask him out or something?”
You scratched the back of your neck. “Or something, yeah.” 
Thankfully, by the time Shouto arrived today, it was later than he normally came, meaning rush hour was almost dying down. 
“Good morning! Someone’s a little late today,” you teased. “Overslept?” 
“I wish,” he sighed wistfully. “I had a meeting early this morning and it just ended. Didn’t have a chance to pick up some coffee or pastries beforehand.” 
You frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope whoever was hosting the meeting at least provided you guys drinks and snacks!” 
He paused. “He did, but… I just thought yours were better.” 
Smiling at the compliment, you preened. “Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised. And I’m glad you were able to drop by still. Would’ve missed you too much otherwise.”
Again, you were only half-serious.
“Hm. I would’ve missed you too.”
And again, he seemed full-serious. Not that you minded. 
After taking his order and watching him pay, you pulled him to the side, looking over at your boss so she knew what was going on. She gave you a brief nod as you turned your attention to Shouto. 
A lapse of silence went by and he spoke up, “Did you have something you wanted to say?” 
“Yeah, actually.” You wrung your fingers nervously, hoping you wouldn’t say anything to offend him since you knew his actions were coming from a kind place. “I just wanted to say… I’m not really looking for a sugar daddy right now.”
He blinked once. Then twice. “Pardon?” 
You stared at him, unsure what to say. 
“I— Sorry. I wasn’t… It’s not my intention to be a...sugar daddy either.” Shouto’s face flushed a bright pink that made your own cheeks warm up in response. 
“But the—the money? I just… I guess I thought…” You winced.
So he wasn’t trying to pick up a sugar baby… Well, this was awkward. But regardless, you think you’ve gotten close enough to him to the point where it would feel weird accepting money from him. 
“I’m sorry if I was unclear. It really is just a tip to show appreciation for your service here.” 
You shook your head. “No! Sorry, that makes sense! My friends just said… And then I…” you trailed off, feeling a million times more flustered than when you started. “Sorry about that. The sugar daddy mishap aside, I still wanted to say that I really appreciate the tips you gave, but I don’t think I can accept them anymore.” 
Slowly, he nodded, adjusting the collar of his dress shirt. “I understand. Did something happen?”
“No, nothing happened!” you were quick to assure. “I really am thankful, but… I think we’ve gotten too close for me to be comfortable accepting that much money, you know?”
Shouto tilted his head to the side, listening intently. 
“Like,” you tried to explain, fiddling with your apron, “over the past few weeks I just think we’ve gotten to know each other more and I think of you as a friend of sorts now.” You peered at him through your lashes, hoping your words were making sense. “I think as a relationship develops—for me, at least—adding money into the mix can cause weird power imbalances if not communicated properly. And I just don’t want that for us.” 
He thought through your words for a while before agreeing. “I get what you mean. I wouldn’t want to unintentionally make you feel like you owe me anything, so if you’re not comfortable with it, I can stop.” 
“Thanks, Shouto,” you said with a beam, glad he was so receptive. Really though, what else did you expect? From your interactions with him you took him to be kindhearted and open. Of course he wouldn’t be upset over this. “But just to be clear, this doesn’t mean you should stop coming! Right? I don’t want to stop being your friend or anything!” 
With a small laugh, he nodded. “Sure. I wouldn’t want to part with my favorite cafe. And I’d like to keep being friends as well.”
Those words warmed your heart. You really were nervous about this confrontation earlier; you didn’t want voicing your opinion to mean ending your friendship. (Although, if you sharing what you were comfortable with was enough to end a relationship, then you supposed it was bound to be a toxic and stifling one in the long run and it was good to know in the beginning to end it before it could grow.) Turns out, however, that you didn’t even need to worry about that. He was understanding and sweet and you were glad to have gotten this out of the way.
“Well, as new friends,” you said, gently nudging his side, “maybe we should get to know each other more? Exchange numbers… Hang out outside of this cafe…” You ran through some suggestions, almost bouncing on your feet in excitement. “I mean, I know you’re always so busy and might not have much free time to hang out. But— If you’re ever free one weekend…” 
“I’d enjoy that,” he cut in, saving you from blabbering your mouth off and accidentally embarrassing yourself. “Didn’t you say you’d steal me away from work to relax? I’m still holding you to that.” 
The beginnings of a smirk formed on his face as he looked at your flustered expression. Was he teasing you?
You huffed, pretending to be insulted by his playful mocking. “Guess I’ll really have to do it then.” 
“Guess so.”
“Maybe you should give me your number first so we could plan it.” 
“Okay.”
He handed you his phone and you handed him yours, both of your adding your numbers to the contact list. Smiling, you held the phone in front of the two of you to take a contact picture of yourself for Shouto’s phone. To your complete surprise, he laughed before promptly following suit and taking a selfie for his contact image. 
“Cute,” you said when he handed you back your phone. 
“You too.” 
Placing your device back in your pocket, you looked at him, hand on hip. “Since when did you become such a smooth-talker? Am I going to have to guard my heart now?” 
His only response was a shrug, but you could see hints of a smile playing on his face. The two of you seemed to be smiling a lot lately, you couldn’t help but notice. 
“I should probably let you go to work now—and I should go back to mine.” You gestured to the growing line at the front of the store. Your manager looked like she had things under control, but you didn’t want to take advantage of her kindness. “You should text me later though. If you want.”
“I’ll do that,” Shouto promised, picking up his drink and pastry boxes from the side counter. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. And… I’ll message you soon.” 
As you watched him leave the store, you were certain you had a silly look on your face as you stared in a trance. 
“I’ll turn my phone off silent just for you!” you said to his back, hoping he understood what a momentous occasion this was. Your phone was always on silent (unless you were playing a game, of course). But for Shouto, you could handle hearing the obnoxious ringtone and text tone. 
With an amused expression he nodded before waving goodbye.
Later on that day, at the end of your shift, you noticed a new message from a certain someone that made your stomach flutter.
Shouto: Hi there. It’s Shouto :)
You never knew those four simple words would be enough to keep the grin plastered on your face up until the moment your head hit your pillow to fall asleep. But, damn— Were you glad that happened to be the case. 
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a/n: whY WAS SHOUTO AND Y/N EXCHANGING NUMBERS SO CUTE idk that scene got me all blushy and :DDD HFJDKSF like taking a selfie with shouto and getting his number? only goal in life BFHFGF,, also y/n said no more tips how we feeling? ;o 
what to expect in the next part:
an unwanted visitor ಥ_ಥ
shouto has a...proposition for y/n 
FLIRTING FLUFF SO MUCH CUTENESS U MIGHT CRY
y/n struggles with their fEeLiNGs~
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baroquebucky · 3 years
Text
comfort
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bucky always found comfort in steve, but he’s gone now. who will he turn to for comfort now?
word count: 3.1k
masterlist
a/n: hi bffs !! thank you anon for requesting this <3 just angst and fluff (and endgame steve >:[) !! let me know what you guys think :] (srry for any typos)
“this is bucky!” steve smiled at you happily, you were Steve’s neighbor, always lending him a helping hand when he needed it and giving him emotional support and encouragement that would last him a life time.
“nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard lots ‘bout you” you smiled, sticking your hand out and bucky reluctantly shook it. “why don’t you guys come in for a bit? I’m making some pasta and i put way too much” you grinned, watching as bucky and steve looked at each other, having a whole conversation silently before Steve spoke up again.
“we’d love to” he grinned, pulling bucky inside your apartment with him before you closed the door. Bucky took in your apartment, it was somewhat messy, but it a nice way, a live in sort of way. You had plants all along your windowsill and a basket full on blankets near your couch, books along the shelf with a couple other things and pictures all over the place.
“hope you guys like chicken Alfredo” you smiled, checking the pasta before deciding it was good enough and scooping some out onto three plates
“bucky i have a serious question for you” you spoke as you set the three plates down on the dinner table, smiling at steve as he thanked you.
“oh, okay” bucky mumbled, shifting in his seat and heart racing. You were gonna ask him about his time as the winter soldier weren’t you? You were going to judge him for everything he’d done.
“what animal do you think you can take in a fight?” You spoke seriously, looking at him as you set his plate down.
That’s it? What animal he could fight?
“what?” He asked, confused as to why you were asking him this. Surely this was some test? Maybe it was code for something, if he answered a specific animal then it proved he was a good person.
Steve groaned as you asked the question and you scowled at him, hitting him softly as you passed by him and to the kitchen to get some water for the three on you.
“what animal do you think you could beat if it was just hand to hand combat?” You looked at him, studying his features and quickly taking in the fact that he was in fact the most breathtaking man on earth.
Bucky looked at steve who let out a sigh.
“you should answer now, she asked me that a couple days ago and we talked about it for almost an hour” steve smiled, reminiscing on the way you even made him coffee so he could stay until the end of your discussion.
“uh, i mean, well i guess I’m a super soldier so- i don’t know i don’t wanna fight any of them” he spoke warily, looking at you nervously and watching the way you narrowed your eyes at him before your face softened, breaking into a wide smile and nodding your head proudly.
“James barnes i think you and i are going to get along just fine” you smiled, taking in the way his eyes lit up just a tad at your words.
Steve smiled at the way bucky sat a little straighter, loosening up a bit and warming up to you little by little. He wanted him to have someone to turn to, he wanted him to have you like steve did, someone he knew he could always rely on.
After the whole Blip went down and everything was back to normal bucky found himself lost at times, wandering the streets in seek of comfort. He was left alone in the world with nothing left from his old life.
Steve had only been gone for a couple of days and he already felt horrible. He had no one to turn to, no one to lean on. He was alone.
He tried finding solace in sleep, wishing that his mind would whisk him away to be happy in his dreams. His attempts were fruitless, all he managed to do was toss and turn, his mind racing and never relaxing enough to fully sleep.
The small moments he did manage to sleep he awake in a cold sweat, nightmares plaguing his mind, his memories rushing to him alongside the pain and thoughts that has recently set in after steve left.
Bucky sat on couch of his apartment, it was silent as the sounds of the city were muffled through the walls, rain gently hitting his windows. He so badly wanted to just break down and cry, to have someone tell him everything would be okay, to comfort him and remind him that he wasn’t alone even with steve gone.
Bucky scrolled through his contacts, vision blurred with tears as he searched helplessly for someone he could go to. As he scrolled through his contacts he found you, when had he put it there?
He clicked on your name and sure enough, there was a picture of you smiling brightly with steve, a note written under your contact information.
buck, y/n helped me get through everything, theyre sweet and caring and kind, please talk to them if you ever need anyone i promise you they can help - steve
Bucky let out a shaky breath as he read the note steve had left. When did he even get ahold of his phone? Buckys mind was racing, he wiped his tears and locked his phone. He would be fine, he didn’t need anyone to help him.
As the day progressed bucky felt the pain in his chest growing with each breath, tears threatening to spill out any moment. He was frustrated that the feelings wouldn’t just go away, it was persistent and nagging at him every minute of the day as he tried to push it away.
Maybe if i take a walk it’ll clear my mind, bucky reasoned, throwing on a jacket and heading out, there was only a very light drizzle as he walked aimlessly, trying everything to get his mind off the emptiness he felt in his heart.
Was he not good enough for him to stay? Was everything bucky had done, too much for steve? Why would he leave him so abruptly? After everything he just left him with no hesitation.
Bucky tried to shake away the thoughts but they grew louder and louder, tears stinging at his eyes and he decided he’d had enough.
Bucky stopped in his tracks, taking note of where he was and recalling the path he and steve had taken the first time they visited you, he let his mind wander, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.
By the time he reached your apartment he wanted to turn around and leave. Did you even live here still? We’re you even home? It wasn’t a good idea, he should deal with it by himself.
Bucky was about to turn to leave when you opened the door, dressed up with bright red lipstick on. Oh wow you were stunning, bucky thought as he turned around to face you.
“bucky?” You asked, looking at the man before smiling widely, “bucky! oh wow hi!” You grinned, not hesitating to pull him in for a hug and squeezing him tightly. As you pulled away you noticed his red eyes and the frown on his face. Your smile quickly disappeared when you saw the way he tried to hide the tear stains, looking down at his shoes.
“oh james what’s wrong?” You spoke softly, grabbing his wrist gently and pulling him into your apartment, he looked up quickly. It was still the same, it was just as homey as he remembered it.
You led him to the couch, quickly bringing over the basket of blankets and letting him choose whichever one he wanted, smiling as he picked the fuzziest of them all.
“good choice” you softly spoke, grabbing a blanket for yourself and setting it on the couch next to him.
“do you want anything to drink, i have coffee, hot chocolate, water and maybe some apple juice” you smile fondly at the man on your couch and he thought for a second before replying.
“can- do you think i can have a hot chocolate” he spoke softly, “please” the tone of his voice made your heart clench and you wanted to just hold him, but you knew he didn’t need that just yet, so you just nodded and made his hot chocolate as fast as you could, adding whipped cream and marshmallows and placing it on the table in front of him.
“added extra whipped cream for you” you smiled, slipping your heels off and grabbing your phone, “I’m gonna get changed and I’ll be back out in a second, make yourself at home buck” your smile was warm and sincere and he already found the emptiness fading.
“i have to cancel today I’m really sorry” bucky heard, his super hearing picking up on the conversation you were having. “something came up” your voice was calm. “no i cant just ignore it” your tone shifted, leaning towards annoyance as you continued.
“excuse me for caring about someone other than myself!” You spoke dryly, changing out of your dress and into some sweats and an oversized t shirt. “you know what i think, i think it would be better if you deleted my number and forgot about me actually! i think that’d be great” your voice was cold as you hung up, letting out a sigh before smiling slightly, thank god you didn’t have go through with that date.
As you walked out you noticed bucky getting up, heading towards the door.
“leaving so soon? you barely touched your hot chocolate” you frowned, your voice making bucky turn to look at you, his words died on his tongue when he noticed you were changed.
“you have a date” was all he said and you smiled, shaking your head and pulling him back to the couch with you.
“had” you corrected him, “cancelled on ‘em, didn’t really wanna go” you scrunched your face up as you spoke, sipping some of your hot chocolate before looking at bucky softly.
“got better things to do” you stated, watching the way he slowly warmed up to you, moving his body to face you.
“like what?” He whispered, looking down at the blanket in his lap as he let it lightly.
“like make my bestest friend in the whole world feel better” you answered, not missing a beat as you spoke, looking at him.
Bucky swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Never in a million years did he think someone he met a total of three times not so long ago could bring him so much warmth, so much comfort. He didn’t bother hiding the blush on his face, he knew you wouldn’t tease him about it, you were more focused on making him feel better.
“what’s eating at you buck?” You prodded him gently, watching his body language closely for any signs of discomfort. He looked at you before focusing on his hot chocolate, picking it up and taking a small sip.
“good hot chocolate” he mumbled, taking another sip and you smiled, nodding your head silently. Bucky set the mug down again, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “it’s just-” he began, cutting himself off before he could continue.
“he didn’t say goodbye to you, did he?” His eyes were whirlpools of emotions. You gave him a sad smile, shaking your head.
“no, not really” you spoke, “he kind of hinted at what he was gonna do y’know? didn’t wanna say it out loud so we kind of, i guess just didn’t wanna say it” you mumbled, “made it too real” you smiled at him again, not wanting to make his mood any worse.
“don’t you- how are you so okay with it? I mean it’s just- don’t you feel like if you did more he wouldn’t have left?” Bucky asked, desperation in his eyes.
Everything clicked in your mind instantly. Your stomach fell and your heart broke in your chest, Bucky’s sad eyes and slumped shoulders told you everything you had to know. The way he couldn’t even keep eye contact with you for longer than three seconds, how he fumbled with something when he spoke. You wiped the frown of your face before giving him a reassuring smile, scooting closer to him.
“sometimes i do” you nodded, picking at some fuzz on your blanket, “i do find myself wondering if i had given him different advice throughout the time i knew him if he would’ve made a different choice” you spoke softly, bucky looked at you, watching the way your lips poured slightly.
“I’ll think ‘maybe if i had asked him to stay for dinner one more time’ or if i made him more hot chocolate” you chuckled softly, bucky smiled at your words, sadness filling his chest as he realized how hurt you must be.
“you shouldn’t blame yourself y/n, you did your best” he whispered, clearing his throat before continuing, “i mean you brought him so much comfort and helped him through so much, in the end it was his choice and that’s not on you” he finished, hands shaking slightly. Bucky was silent as you nodded.
“listen to yourself buck” you smiled, placing a hand on his, “it’s not your fault, you did your best, you meant so much to him and you always will” you assured him, squeezing his hand in yours. Bucky was quiet as you gave him soft smiles.
“I didn’t mean me-” he began but you shook your head.
“you were his best friend for his whole life, he talked about you all the time, spent years looking for you to get you back” bucky let out a shaky breath. “You were good enough, you are good enough james.”
The firmness in your voice made bucky look up, your eyes were set and serious. Bucky tried to find any trace of lies, but your words were sincere and settled in his bones like a warm fireplace.
“it’s just- i wish-” his voice cracked and his bottom lip quivered, tears stinging his eyes. He was embarrassed, moving to wipe his tear quickly.
You beat him to it, your hand caressing his cheek and softly wiping away at the tears. You moved you hand to the back of his neck and softly pulled him into you, shaking your arms around him as best you could.
Bucky cried into your shoulder, mumbling incoherent sentences as sobs racked his body. You help him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly and whispering to him it would be okay.
“you’re okay, i got you” you whispered, “I’m here let it out sweets, it’s okay.”
Bucky knew he should feel embarrassed for crying like this, in front of you, someone he barely knew. Your words were too comforting to let him and your presence far too warm to even let him consider leaving you at this moment in time.
You didn’t mind one bit that bucky was crying into your favorite t shirt, you held him tighter, giving him all the time he needed to calm down.
By the time Bucky’s cries had softened to soft hiccups he pulled away from you, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. His nose was pink and he sniffled softly, using the back of his hands to run his eyes.
You silently handed him some tissues, softly letting him know where the bathroom is. He smiled at you softly, getting up from the couch and heading to your restroom. You sat in silence as you waited for bucky to come back, sighing softly to yourself. You closed your eyes for a second, blinking away a couple tears and getting snacks from your pantry, putting on your comfort show and switching to the pilot episode.
Bucky washed his face with cold water, smiling at the fact that your bathroom smelled like eucalyptus. His dried his face and washed his hands, letting out a shaky sigh before looking at himself in the mirror, frowning at how broken he looked. He tore his gaze away and turned off the lights, walking out and seeing you sitting on the couch cross legged.
You smiled up at bucky, patting the seat next to you and moving so he could sit. The couch dipped a little as he sat down, grabbing the blanket and bundling it in his lap.
“when I’m upset i watch this show, it always cheers me up” you spoke to him gently, “that is if you aren’t leaving, i don’t wanna hold you hostage or anything” you chuckled and bucky smiled at you, laughing softly.
“no i- do you think i can stay a bit longer?” He asked and you nodded, linking your arms together and pulling each other closer.
“you can stay for however long you want” bucky felt his heart grow in his chest, how could you be so warm and welcoming to him? He didn’t question it for long though, your dazzling smile and sparkling eyes cleared his mind.
“ready?” You smiled and he nodded, watching as you hurried to press play, adjusting the volume and grinning as the show began.
Bucky couldn’t help but steal glances at you, smiling at how you mouthed the lines, offering him snacks if he hadn’t touched them in a while, constantly making sure he was okay.
Relaxation. He finally felt relaxed, his jaw was unclenched and his brows were furrowed, he had a small smile on his face. His muscles were relaxed as the showed played on your tv, your body heat radiating onto Buckys side.
You looked up to comment on something in the show but quickly stopped when you realized bucky had fallen asleep. His eyes were closed and he just looked so soft.
You smiled as you looked at him, moving some pillows quietly so you wouldn’t wake him. You helped him lay down and set the blanket on top of him, telling him to go back to sleep when he stirred slightly. For the first time since steve had left Buckys slept peacefully. He found comfort and assurance with you.
Steve was always looking out for bucky, always saying that he had to pay him back for all those fights bucky saved him from in the 40’s. Steve helped him get out of hydra, helped him get his mind back.
Bucky smiled at you as you pet alpine in your lap, dozing off as you struggled to stay awake before finally giving into sleep. He picked you up swiftly, tucking you into bed like you had done with him nearly a year ago. He kissed your forehead gently before sliding into bed next to you, falling asleep quickly with you by his side.
Now even after he was gone, he was helping him heal. And for that, he was forever grateful.
493 notes · View notes
solomonish · 3 years
Text
selfless (to a fault?) [demon brothers]
CW: allusions to past toxic relationships. minor description of injury in beel’s. belphie’s is a bit sad (happy ending! just melancholic vibes) and alludes to chapter 16.
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no problem nonnie! i hope this is to your liking <3
nowdateables: here!
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Lucifer
Honestly, he'd be a tough one to get to allow you to do anything for him. You know, the whole avatar of pride thing….and he also just generally has a habit of holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks - no, he knows he can handle everything on his own
If he's letting you in enough to help him - not only trusting you enough to think the tasks he delegates to you will be done to his liking, but allowing you to help and opening up the possibility that he might be risking his image of perfection - he can only expect you'll let him do the same for you. It's like your own special love language, right?
He does NOT like how jumpy you are about the subject. At first, he's miffed. Do you not think he can do the task to your liking? Has he given off the false impression that he cannot take any more work than he already has? Was your offer to help not based on affection, but pity??? It really ruffles his feathers.
He's the type to confront you head-on. At first, his voice is harsh because he's talked himself into thinking you've offended him, but when you start backing away and trying to dodge the conversation, apologies falling from your mouth about how the last thing you wanted to do was upset him, he softens. He doesn’t understand yet, but something is upsetting you and he intends to get to the bottom of it.
Not one who would pester you about opening up to him, but the sooner you do, the more of a show of good faith it is. He’ll trust your word entirely regardless, but it does a lot to soothe the upset of his own creation if you come back to explain sooner rather than later. After all, being vulnerable is perhaps Lucifer’s greatest show of love - it does not go unnoticed when you do the same.
Doing his best to talk through a solution is act of kindness #1 - and it helps you adjust a little since you worked with him rather than completely handed him the reins. He starts off his own plan to help you out by bringing in things he was already going to do for himself - offering you coffee when he gets his own, for example. He uses the fact that you’d feel bad for refusing against you for a little bit, but he means well!
You might notice him going softer on you for just a little bit - don’t say anything about it. He’s worried that he gave off the impression of using things against you because of how much of a disciplinarian he is. Besides, the two of you normally don’t get into arguments (he doesn’t have the time to let things simmer - if he’s that upset about something, he’ll try to address it immediately), so he doesn’t really know how else to change his behavior. He just hopes that allowing you the opportunity to open up to him again, should you need it, will alleviate the feeling that he’d ever use your kindness against you.
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Mammon
The first time you stiffened up after he tried to help you, he thought you were crazy. Lucifer had just given you a punishment for one of his schemes that you took the fall for (and he still isn’t sure why Lucifer let you take the fall when it was obviously Not You), and you insisted that you could do it by yourself! He wasn’t too keen on cleaning every window in the House of Lamentation himself, so he left soon after placing the offer, but his time was spent mindlessly wondering about you.
The next time was shortly after, when you came into his room and crashed on his bed. He offered you a hand massage, although he did it in a very muttered voice with dark cheeks - and you said no again! Forget being offended that the romantic hand-holding idea he totally didn’t get from a magazine he was reading waiting for you (that would’ve somehow ended in disaster anyway) wouldn’t play out - he was getting worried.
He doesn’t bring anything up immediately, but he worries about you and watches you intently. Sometimes you’ll catch him staring at you, and he flips out when you ask him what’s up. The only clue Mammon gathers is that you don’t seem to be angry with him, so what’s up? He’s used to his backwards advances working against him, but he’s making a genuine effort here!
He finally gets pent up in his frustration and asks you head-on. Mammon isn’t known for his tact - “Oi, why won’t you just let me take over once in a while? Cut yerself a break, MC!” - but there’s a certain...desperate tinge to his voice that makes you realize he really does care (and is driving himself crazy trying to figure things out on his own). When you DO finally tell him, he sort of deflates and his voice goes to that softer, more genuine tone.
“H-hey, I would never do that kind of thing to ya…” He starts shuffling in place, kicking at rocks (if there are any) and you realize he kinda looks like a kid. “You do so much for everyone, and it makes me feel real good inside. I just wanna make you feel that, too. Besides, we don’t need TWO cranky workaholics in the house. Lucifer is plenty.”
He knows one moment of honesty isn’t going to fix your entire way of thinking, but he goes right back to his blatant offers after that. Maybe if he desensitizes you to it, you’ll feel less weird about accepting his help! It doesn’t work, so he shifts to little things. Catch him running across classrooms as soon as you’re dismissed so he can grab your textbooks to carry for you off the desk before you can. 
Once he realizes you’re more receptive to him helping you, he’s ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be annoying about it again. Generosity doesn’t come easy to him, okay? Besides, he’s The Great Mammon! You should’ve known he’d be better than any other guy you’ve been with!
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Leviathan
Of COURSE you wouldn’t want someone like him to help you out. He’d probably mess it up, anyway…
Seriously, Leviathan is very sensitive to rejection, so the moment you politely decline any offers to help he backs up about a thousand miles and sulks when you’re not around. It’s hard for him to get out of his own head, and he’s so ready for you to just tell him what everybody else is thinking and how much he sucks…
It dawns on him, though, that you never gave up on him when he pushed you away. It’s totally not poggers sucky of him to just give up on you like that. You’re his henry! You’re his s/o! He’s totally ready to fight any boss for you!! …..after he levels up a little more.
Levi spends a TON of time looking up ways to talk to you, one-on-one. He isn’t good with emotions like this but he is capable of them and having deep, serious talks. It shouldn’t MATTER that his research material is a bunch of feel-good romance anime scenes that he based his most recent Top 10 OTPs of the season post on! 
Surprisingly enough, he brings it up relatively smoothly one night when you’re chilling in his room and he’s playing some relaxing simulator. You’re complaining about the things you have to do in the morning, and when there’s a lull in your conversation Leviathan turns and tentatively asks, “Hey...why don’t you try letting me help you out?” He can feel your refusal before it comes so he hurriedly adds “Please! I just- you stress yourself out so much and what good am I if I can’t even help you at all?”
Is it his impassioned plea for you to let him in? Is it his willingness to obviously step out of his comfort zone? Have your walls just conveniently crumbled at this moment? Whatever it is, you don’t have it in you to reject him when he’s so open about wanting to help you (and the pain it’s caused him not to). Either way, you sigh and give him a few, small tasks that you think you both could manage him having and he swears to do them well!!
Truly opening up to him about the reason why you were so hesitant on letting him help takes a while, and he doesn’t exactly pick up on it himself. Once you do tell him, though, in your journey to help yourself let him in, he holds you a little tighter and mumbles that he’ll never do that to you. Levi knows better than anyone that words can only mean so much, but he’s grateful for the chance to prove it to you. He won’t let his Henry down!
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Satan
Satan is perceptive, and he knows how to talk about emotions. He might even have suspicious about the root cause before you even think about letting him know what’s up. He’s already started doing a few things for you - carrying each other’s books, for example. Small acts of kindness to get the both of you through the day.
However, one thing Satan isn’t good with…..is dealing with emotions head-on.
He spends so much time keeping his own under lock and key! After doing his best to keep the most calm, analytical front he can, Satan tends to uh….forget about the emotional part of emotions.
So. When he asks why you won’t let him reciprocate in the relationship, attempting to display that he just wants the two of you to be on equal ground and he is worried about you, he sort of comes off...as cold. And like he’s accusing you of feeling a certain way. He definitely presents it as “I’ve noticed you feel x and i think y would be helpful for us to fix it” rather than “how are you feeling? What is causing you trouble? How can i offer assistance in a way that translates well to you?” And if that doesn’t bring back some memories…
He feels awful, and at the end of it all you’re crying (or presenting your stress and bad memories however you normally do) and he still doesn’t know how to fix things. Counterintuitively, he looks through his books for an answer, and it takes him a few days to realize that’s what got him into this mess.
So he goes to you directly and, albeit a little clumsily, apologizes and asks what he can do to help you through this. You say that’s just the problem - you don’t want his help - and he sits next to you and just asks why? The two of you wind up talking for hours, sitting next to each other and just...really talking. You aren’t the only one feeling vulnerable - Satan is talking about his emotions full-on rather than through a scientific lens and it makes him just as nervous as you are.
Satan doesn’t get into arguments with you. He runs from the possibility because he’s worried about what his wrath could do to you. But he promises you that he could never hold anything against you, especially something like asking him for help. It’s an honor that you let him this close, and he can only return the favor in kind. He hopes you have enough faith to believe in him until he has the opportunity to prove it beyond a doubt.
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Asmodeus
Asmo does things for people without asking. He gives unsolicited makeup and relationship advice, he offers to touch-up any products you may have on, he lends you clothes just because he felt like he should…
The thing is, Asmo will start before you even have a chance to ask him to stop. He’ll start before you’re even wondering if you like him. And at first, you’re ok with it. Well, you’re not, but you can decide he’s just testing the waters or that this is some weird demon way to earn your friendship or tell you he considers you a friendly presence, like cats. But it still rubs you the wrong way.
However, Asmo always notices that you...aren’t receiving it the way he wants you to. He invites you out and leaves you an outfit on your bed, and you come out wearing something entirely different. He leaves you a bouquet of flowers, and suddenly the dining room has a new bouquet in the center of it. (and you always avoid his gaze during those dinners, which is totally weird.) It’s almost like you’ve recognized the face he makes when he’s about to touch up your makeup, because you pull out a pocket mirror and check yourself over before he even has a chance to!
Are you leading him on? He doesn’t think so, but you are quite literally the only person he can’t literally charm the pants off of, and he isn’t quite sure how to navigate the signals you’re giving him. You seem fine with the relationship - it felt pretty genuine to him, and you looked thrilled when he made the romantic moves on you - so what was going on?
He finally caves and asks when he’s going through your wardrobe, sifting through it with you on the bed to make room for a shopping spree the two of you had been planning, and sees all the outfits he’d bought you hanging, still in their outfit bags. Some of the bags even had DUST on them!
He turns around and puts on a gentle voice. Though Asmo doesn’t know what’s happening, he can feel the air in the room shift and he knows he’s encroaching on some sensitive territory. “Hey, do you not like when I give you gifts? I haven’t been able to understand what’s been bothering you, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”
He does NOT like the way you turn your face away from him, but he sits a respectable distance away and keeps his hands in his lap. Asmo is as good at genuine advice as he is at gossip, so it isn’t hard for him to get you comfortable enough to open up to him. You don’t have to tell him everything at once - he’ll listen to whatever you’re willing to tell him, letting you lean against him when you’re ready.
Asmo is known for being petty, but you bring out sides of him nobody knew were there. He’ll swear up and down that he’d never turn your good heart against you - after all, it’s one of the many things he loves about you - but he does understand where you’d get that impression. If you’ll let him prove it to you, he will - and he’ll start by only pestering you to let him buy one outfit for you on that shopping spree!
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Beelzebub
Listen. Beel is a generous soul (for a demon) ((to those he really loves)). He just doesn’t ever really find himself in possession of anything worth sharing. Really, the only thing he is ever in the possession of is food. When he isn’t at his sports practice, working out or studying, he’s eating, and he’ll gladly share his food with you.
Oh? You don’t want it? He gives you a confused look - he’d ask if you were feeling well if he hadn’t eaten lunch with you just an hour before - but shrugs, his growling stomach winning over his concern. It’s not like you’re skipping meals, anyway. It isn’t until you get hurt helping him work out and refuse to let him pick you up to carry you to medical attention that he gets VERY concerned.
He feels awful enough as is. It was his fault you were even there - he just wanted to add more weight to his workout. (And, he won’t admit it, the idea of using a bench you were sitting on to lift over his head may have been a bit overkill. But he saw that little spark that said ‘that isn’t possible but man i wish it was’ when you saw it happen in that show and mmmmmmaybe he wanted to impress you. How was he supposed to know Mammon had broken it and left it there?) He could practically feel the pain in your ankle from the sound it made, and you were clutching desperately to your shin, wanting to press on the wound but knowing it was a bad idea. MC, there’s no way you can walk on that, why aren’t you letting him help?
The guilty puppy face he’s giving you is making the whole situation worse. It’s taking everything you can not to snap on, from the overwhelming pain in your ankle to the negative thoughts racing in your head to the knowledge that you’ll have to give in eventually. Finally, you face him head on and decide to just rip the band-aid off. “I don’t have the best experience with letting people do things for me. If you’re expecting to use this against me, I’m going to be out of commission for a while, so remember that.”
He is. So confused. Are you really mad at him? What are you talking about? It’s not that he’s stupid - because really, he isn’t - this just kinda came at him from left field and he does not know what to do about.
“What? I’m worried about you, MC, and there’s no way you can walk on your ankle. Come on, please let me take you to get help. I won’t mention it ever again if that’s what will make you happy.”
So maybe it takes a while to get to the nearest infirmary, and maybe he’s going extra slow so as not to jostle our injury, and maybe in the meantime he’s being so contemplative and quiet that you have a heart-to-heart. Beel’s too genuine not to trust him when he swears he’d NEVER use your kindness against you, but he understands it’ll take a while to show you.
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Belphegor
So. Um. This is awkward.
Belphie is a smartass, and he’s the youngest and used to getting his way. He’s definitely the type to dig his heels in and fight dirty in an argument, just because he’s used to winning. He’s also sadistic and has plotted with you to use his brothers’ weaknesses against them for fun. So he gets it. He totally gets why you would think he’d do it. Honestly, that’s basically what he did to free himself from the attic, only with more violence involved. He gets it.
Since Belphegor hasn’t exactly been the nicest to you in the past, he isn’t about to make you pity him with words like “yeah, of course you wouldn’t trust me after what I did to you…” First of all, on the off chance that it’s completely unrelated, he doesn’t want to put that idea in your head and give you a resentment you never had, but also he’s getting a hang of this redemption thing. Yes, on an average day he’s still a bratty, selfish little shit, but he does show you how sorry he is for using you and hurting you. It shows in the way he checks up on you in situations he knows you’re uncomfortable in, in the way he cares for you in that gentle way that’s so subtle you wonder if he’s even actively doing anything. (He is - offering you the best spot in a blanket nest, suggesting your favorite meals when the brother on dinner duty needs ideas, little things - and you both know it.) But how does he repent for something he doesn’t even know if he’s doing?
The way you stop cold when you peek in the kitchen and see him (and Beel) cooking the dinner you just complained about wanting hurts. The two of you have a stare-off for a moment, and Beel gets the message to slide out of the room. Belphegor clears his throat.
“What do you want?” You ask with narrowed eyes. Ouch, way to be a Lucifer. He instead says, “Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” “And you don’t want anything in return?” “Have I given off the impression that I would?”
You sigh and step into the kitchen to wash your hands, asking if he needs help since Beel left. He grabs your wrist. “You’re welcome to keep me company, but I want to do this for you.”
He doesn’t like you looking at him distrustfully, but is relieved you sit at the counter instead of leaving. He wants to ask you what’s up, but something is stopping him - he ignores that what’s stopping him is fear that you’ll have another thing to add onto the list of the unforgivable sins he’s committed. If you feel like telling him, he’ll listen - but until then, he’ll go back to quietly trying to prove his worth to you, hoping one day you’ll see that it’s genuine and let him give you all the good things you deserve.
383 notes · View notes
parkers-gal · 3 years
Note
Tom x reader where reader wants to move out & live with Tom only (not with boys). Tom doesn’t want to move out, maybe Nikki has a talk with him
the one T.H.
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➢ a / n | went a lil overboard, heh, but enjoy this ! sorry it took a lil while :,(
➢ wc | 2.5k <3
。☆✼★━━ requests are closed ━━★✼☆。
There’s too many dishes in the sink, you note. There’s so many, that they won’t all fit for one load in the dishwasher. It’s a pain, and you know nobody in this house has the patience to wait for two full loads to carry through, so you have to hand wash half of them and allow the whirring machine to do the other half.
If this were a romantic comedy, you’d have Tom standing next to you and you’d hold hands under the suds while you wash the dishes together and chat about your future. This isn’t a rom-com, though. In fact, you don’t even know where the boys are right now. You were certain they went into the den to play Call Of Duty — or whatever it is that they play — but then you thought they went into the backyard with Tessa, but now you’ve just given up on figuring their whereabouts.
Not that you’re angry at Tom for not helping, though. He did the laundry with you earlier, so you’re content with his keeping end of the deal. It’s the other four that you’re a bit fed up with. Sam had just recently joined the Holland-Osterfield-Barrett household of mates, and while you’re all the more happy to welcome him in, it also means more work. There’s a chore schedule, but sometimes someone has work in a town or a country away, and the gaps in the schedule are only ever left for you to fill.
It’s tough, considering you have your own job, but you’re content with the situation — for now. You have Tom, the love of your life, and you have the best people of your life - Harry, one of your closest confidants, and Harrison, one of your partners in crime.
There’s a lot of baggage that comes with being the only woman in a household of boys that practically grew up with each other. You love Tessa with all your heart, but it’s not like you can really gossip to her about your day.
You’re not too worried about everything, anyway. The second anniversary of your relationship with Tom is coming up; it’s only a few months away, and though you’ve been pondering the idea for awhile, you’re thinking of getting a place with Tom, on your own, without the nagging and intruding fellow in-laws (to-be, hopefully).
Six weeks, today marks, for how long you’ve been thinking about the idea, debating whether it’s valid enough to bring up to Tom, deciding when the best time to talk to him would be. He’s a hard man to navigate — getting a spot in his busy schedule is like fighting to the front of a One Direction mosh-pit. That makes it practically impossible.
But, you’re Y/N. You’re his sweetheart, his darling, his weakness. You’re the most important person in his life, and when you want to have a serious conversation with him, Tom’s all ears and eyes, attentive and caring, understanding and, hopefully, supportive.
You’re hoping it won’t take much convincing — he’s lived with these people all his life, and if it’s truly hard for him to decide, you’ll know what he really wants then.
Ringing out a few glass cups, you let them dry on a dish rack that sits on the countertop. The buzzing and whirring of the dishwasher alerts you that it’s still happily running, and you walk towards the glass sliding doors that lead to the patio and backyard. Peering out, you see all four housemates and Paddy, playing with a frisbee and wrestling with Tessa and messing around with a rugby ball on the trampoline. They look like kindergarteners on the playground, and you decide then to bring them some lemonade like a mother in summertime.
“Hope you’re all a bit thirsty,” you set the tray down with a warm smile. Sam shuts his book of poetry to smile up at you from his seat. He’s been reading for a good fifteen minutes, but you reckon he’ll hop on the trampoline when Harrison gets off. For now, he watches as the Irregulars star jumps happily with Tuwaine.
“Oh, sick,” Harry runs over with the frisbee still in his hands, reaching for a glass and taking a big gulp. Tessa’s at his feet, awaiting for the frisbee game to resume, and you pet her head for a moment before Tom runs over to you, hair matted to his forehead in sweat.
“You’re the best, love,” his hand finds the small of your back as he kisses your temple. You smile again, eyes shutting in bliss at the feeling of his lips, but his hand maneuvers you so he can reach for a glass without bumping into you.
One by one, they come over for refreshments, before picking up where they left off beforehand. Tom’s last to leave, wanting to talk to you before playing with his brothers again.
“Oh, I have to talk to you later,” you whisper, fingers tracing down his damp (sweaty) shirt with a giggle. Tom raises a brow, and you nod softly, “Just, when you have time. Now have fun,” you push him off, and though he’s still just as curious, he leaves you alone on the patio. Taking one last glance at the rowdy group of boys, you bring the tray of empty cups inside, sliding the door shut and sighing to yourself. More dishes to do.
——
Tom’s drying his hair with a purple bath towel when he comes out of the steamy bathroom. He sighs contentedly, before remembering your words from earlier. He brings it up, “What was it that you needed to talk to me about?”
He walks over to the dresser while you look up from your phone. You hum as Tom puts something away, and you shut the electronic device off, setting it on your nightstand and twisting to face his direction.
“I wanted to talk to you about… us, I guess.”
You see Tom’s movement slow, and he removes the towel from his damp curls, turning around hesitantly. You smile, waving him off, “Nothing bad, I promise.”
He lets out an inaudible “phew,” and nods. “Good.” You agree with a nod of your head, and he furthers on with the questions. “What is it, though? Is it something important?”
“I mean…” Tom places his towel on the rack before walking to the opposite side of the mattress “Sorta?” You offer, and you see the gears turn in his head. He sits down across from you, on the bed, and he smiles encouragingly, still a bit suspicious.
“Well, I’m all ears, darling.”
You smile at the familiar pet name, and with a final breath in, you admit what’s been in your head for the past few months. “I was thinking maybe we could… move out… without the boys.”
It’s dead quiet for a few beats while the words sink into his mind. You’re not sure how he’s going to react, but you watch to gauge his reaction.
His mouth opens, almost as if he’s about to say something, but then he closes it, as if he’d suddenly second guessed himself. For once, you truly can’t read him.
“I thought… I thought you liked living here?” he says softly, almost a bit saddened.
You sigh with your words, “I do! Really, I do, but…”
“But…?” He bites his lip.
“Well, I mean…” you exhale again, “We’ve been together for almost two years,” he’s still listening, “Don’t you think we should be a little more independent?”
“I mean, sure, if we were a normal couple.” He laughs at the joke, and while you do too, it’s not really genuine, but more forced for the awkward tension in the air. “I just thought you… y’know, enjoyed spending time with everyone.”
You nod understandingly. “I do, Tom. Really, I do. But… y’know, we’re not getting any younger. I just thought maybe it was time for us to get a place of our own.” It comes out as more of a suggestion, a question for him to respond to. You quietly bite your lip while Tom nods at the information he’s taking in.
He looks down at his fingers, before locking eyes with you. “Can I think about it?”
You shut your eyes softly while nodding. Tom blinks, before standing from the bed, giving you a kiss on the forehead and bidding farewell, heading downstairs for more quality time with his brothers.
——
It’s been a week since that conversation took place in your room. You didn’t think it’d go so… bad? You’re not sure if you should say that, because he didn’t exactly say “no,” he just didn’t seem enthusiastic about deciding at all.
It’s a quiet Saturday. You’re out bowling with a few of your friends, news of one of them getting engaged spreading like wildfire. She’s having a dinner party later, but for now, you’re keeping the meeting small, inviting your closest circle for the fun day at the bowling lanes.
Tom asked you if you wanted to reschedule the dinner with his family, but you insisted that arriving late would be fine. It’s only four o’clock — the Holland family likes to come for late lunch and spend the night playing games and drinking beer, until the clock strikes midnight and Paddy’s passing out in the backseat on the way back home.
At least now, only one Holland brother stays with the parents.
Somehow, someway, the conversation had shifted to you. Everyone’s gathered in the living room, scattered on sofas, couches, beanbags, armchairs, loveseats. Tom misses you at his side, but the conversation of how your work is going just reminds him of what you’d proposed a few days ago.
“How’re things with her in general, though?” Nikki, Tom’s mom, asks with a smile. The eyes shift towards Tom, and he can feel his face heating up.
“Yeah, how’re things with the lovebirds?” Harry teases.
Tom chuckles, anxiety bubbling in his stomach, twisting his. “Uh- they’re- they’re good, yeah,” he assures them, though shaky.
“You sure, there?” Harrison teases. “Did someone propose or something?”
“No, no,” Tom airily chuckles. “Nothing like that.” “Oh?” His dad picks up, “What, then?”
“She- uh…” he licks his lips out of habit. “She wants to move out. Find a place for us, she said.”
The tone in which Tom tells them lets them know that he’s a little less than enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. It’s something that raises a red flag for Nikki; it’s something that makes her brows furrow in confusion.
“Oh,” Sam breaks the silent. “I’m happy for you, bro,” he pats Tom’s shoulder.
Tom smiles, though it’s forced and a bit spaced out.
“What’re you gonna tell her?” Harry asks. “You want it too, right?”
Tom shrugs weakly. Nobody talks about his responses, his reactions. It’s all a bit unexpected, for Tom to not be on board with the next step of the relationship.
“I mean, I don’t know, really.” He confesses with a nervous laugh, running a hand through his curls. “I’d miss you all so much. I just… I don’t know, I guess I just thought she liked living here too, y’know.”
A collective number of “yeah’s” and “mhm’s” go around the room, and Tom nods nonchalantly before the conversation switches to something more exciting. For now, Nikki lets it go, just until she can get her eldest in a room by himself, and before you get home.
It’s when Tom’s getting snacks for the group that Nikki decides to offer her help in the kitchen. They’re just putting dinner in the oven and preparing appetizers, but still, any opportunity to talk to Tom.
“So,” Nikki smiles, and Tom giggles while she puts another slice of tomato on the dish they’re preparing. “Moving out, huh?”
Though her tone is teasing, Tom can’t help but get shivers. He nods, quieting down a bit. Nikki’s movements remain, but Tom stops working altogether. “I don’t want to move out.”
His mum turns to look at him, and she nods, almost as if anticipating the confession. “Why not?”
Tom clicks his tongue, looking down as if he’s ashamed of feeling this way. “I just like things the way they are right now. I know at some point, someone’s gonna move out and the clan’s gonna go our separate ways, but I don’t want to be the one to go first.”
At this, Nikki fully turns to talk to Tom, no longer making dinner. “Tom…” She wipes her hands on a kitchen towel, and Tom does the same. “You were the first to go, you know.”
His eyebrows pull together in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” she sighs, “Your career was first to take off. You ran out that door so fast, we couldn’t keep up.” Tom laughs, reminiscing to himself. “You’re going to keep growing,” she says softly. “You can’t stop that. You can’t stop everyone from growing apart. Sure, you might not grow apart, but you won’t always be this cute little boy band from your school days.”
“Not a boy band, mum,” Tom grumbles. The two of them share a knowing smile.
“You can’t blame yourself for growing, darling,” she steps closer, grabbing one of his hands just like he had grabbed hers the day he was first born. “You can’t expect to be the glue that holds this- this temporary situation together forever. You’re not a superhero,” the two of them laugh again, but then Tom nods knowingly, and Nikki can see a faint batch of tears spring in his eye sockets.
“No, I know, mum.” He sniffles. “I guess… I don’t know, i’ve just always been afraid of never being there when everything changes. I always come back and everyone’s a different person, just…” he searches for the words, “with the same faces.”
She nods, turning back to her dinner dish. Tom keeps his eyes trained on his hands, which are planted on the countertop.
“She loves you a lot, you know.” Nikki says after a few beats. “She just wants a bit of privacy, a bit of your relationship without your annoying brothers.”
“Annoying is right,” Tom teases. They laugh again. “Yeah, I guess I just never thought of that.” Nikki hums, and the kitchen grows silent for a few moments. “Thank you, mum.”
“For what?”
“Being there.” Tom replies. “You never gave up on me, and now… I don’t know. It means a lot to me that you’re helping me with something so important to me.”
Nikki’s eyes soften, and both of them tear up. She nods, this time breaking the silence again. “I know how much you love her,” She says quietly. “One day, she’ll be yours for forever. She’s the one — I can see it in both of your eyes.”
Tom sucks in a breath and wipes his eyes. “I know she’s the one, too.” He adds in another tomato to the dish. “She’s always been it for me.”
537 notes · View notes
miyagihawk · 3 years
Note
for hawk
lover of mine - 5sos
it's a selfship anthem, bby!
the lyrics make so much sense
i love 5sos!!!! ty for the request :)
lover of mine | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader
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warnings: cursing, i think that’s it?
summary: based on lover of mine by 5sos <3
Lover of mine
Maybe we'll take some time
Kaleidoscope mind
Gets in the way
Your relationship with Hawk was more complicated than most.
You had to be patient with him. His mind was like a kaleidoscope; his thoughts were in intricate patterns that you could never comprehend. It amazed you, but it also frustrated you when you couldn’t understand him.
And when it seemed like you finally did understand, he would shift into new colors and you’d have to start all over again.
“I just- I don’t get you, Hawk! Why are you always lying to me?” you said loudly, already feeling exhausted from the argument.
“I’m not! You just never believe me!” he turned it on you. Like always.
You looked at him with a hard stare and crossed your arms. “Did you or did you not break Demetri’s arm?” you asked in a calmer, but still threatening tone.
You already knew the answer; everyone was talking about what happened in the laser tag room. But here Hawk was, denying it. You just couldn’t grasp why he hid so much from you.
When he stayed silent with his gaze not meeting yours, you sat on your bed with an exasperated sigh.“We should take a break,” you interrupted the quiet atmosphere, looking up at where your boyfriend stood in front of you.
“What?” Hawk finally met your eyes with a hurt expression.
You patted the spot on the bed next to you, and he sat reluctantly. “I’m just tired. We need a break Hawk.”
“We don’t need a break,” he protested quietly, and the subtle sadness in his voice was enough to make your heart pang with hurt.
Hope and I pray
Darling, that you will stay
Butterfly lies
Chase them away
He was scared. Even through all the countless arguments and lies, you never left. Now you were suggesting a break, and Hawk knows from seeing other relationships that they always just end in an actual break up.
In a weird way, you did want to scare him. Because he would never change if you didn’t. You hated the idea of a break, but maybe Hawk would finally stop lying to you if you showed him you were serious.
“It’s not a breakup,” you assured, because you knew what he was thinking. For once. “We just need time apart for a little bit. To think.”
“About what?” he asked defensively, starting to raise his voice again.
“You and I. We’re quite toxic, you know?” you contrasted his volume in a lighter tone, making his face relax and his lips turn up a bit.
His small smile dropped suddenly, replaced by an anxious expression. “Don’t leave me Y/N.”
Your heart dropped at his words, and you wanted to wrap your arms around him. To tell him you’d never leave and that it was all okay. But it wasn’t all okay.
You grabbed his hand instead, “You’re my best friend. I love you. But I need this, okay? We both do. Just some time to figure out how we can fix... us.”
“I can fix it now, we don’t need to take a break. Please. I’ll never lie to you again. I just- I hate disappointing you,” he pleaded, tightening his hand around yours, and you wanted to give in.
But you knew that letting this go on, this never ending cycle, would only end with the both of you in a huge crash and burn.
“You said that last time,” you gave him a sad smile. “Let’s just figure our shit out, and then come back better for each other. We need this Hawk.”
-
6 months later
Things didn’t end so well after your break with Hawk. After spending some time apart, you two were just never close again.
None of you planned for it to happen; you just drifted away from each other. And neither of you exactly established when the “break” would be over.
So for the next few months, you passed each other in the halls without any acknowledgment of the other’s existence. Of course you missed him, but not being with him just became the new normal. And you accepted it and pushed your feelings aside.
“So you’ll meet us there? You sure you don’t want the limo to pick you up?” your friend Cara asked from across the lunch table.
“Yeah don’t worry about me, Jesse’s picking me up,” you replied, making the rest of your friends wiggle their eyebrows teasingly.
“What happened to prom with the girls, Y/N? I thought we established no boyfriends during prom season,” Cara pouted playfully, and you elbowed her in the ribs.
“He’s not my boyfriend. He just asked me to prom and that’s it,” you corrected.
Your other friend jumped in, “And why not? Jesse is so cute.”
As she asked, your eyes trailed away from your friends and towards a certain someone with loud red hair, sitting across the room with his karate posse.
Your group noticed your lack of attention and turned to see what you were looking at. They sighed in unison, making you bring your focus back to them.
“He’s why, isn’t he?” Cara gave you an understanding smile and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay. Just have fun tonight.”
You only nodded, giving your kind friends a soft smile of appreciation.
As much as you tried to convince yourself that you’ve moved on fully, the boy with a kaleidoscope mind would always have a place in your heart.
-
Where is he?
You paced around your living room anxiously, checking your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour.
You scrolled through the numerous texts you’ve sent, contemplating if you should send another one. Calling him wasn’t even an option; it went straight to voicemail everytime.
After an hour and a half, you gave up waiting and hoping that your prom date would show up. You flopped down onto the couch despairingly, replying to worried texts from your friends.
‘I’m not going to make it, just don’t worry about me. Have fun my loves.’ you typed, throwing your phone onto the floor right after.
You didn’t want to ask them to pick you up and ruin their night, and you were honestly too drained from being stood up to call an Uber.
So prom night ended up with you spread out on the couch with your outfit that you’ve planned out months ago, eating out of a carton of rocky road ice cream.
Honestly, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been spending the night with an absolute jerk named Jesse. (a/n: so sorry if ur name is jesse lmao)
In the middle of your rom com movie marathon, an abrupt knock at the front door made you sit up from your pathetic, ice cream eating position on the sofa.
Immediately, you turned off the TV and tiptoed towards the door. You silently grabbed the baseball bat next to it, while squinting to see through the peephole.
Your stomach immediately dropped when you saw him.
Clad in a black suit, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
Shifting on his feet and chewing on his lip nervously, as he waited for you to open the door.
The boy you didn’t know you needed to see until now.
What is he doing here?
You covered your mouth in shock as you ran to the mirror to check if you had chocolate stains around your mouth. You smoothed down your hair and straightened out your dress in a frenzy, before unlocking the door with a deep breath in.
“Hawk?” you tried to act surprised, which wasn’t hard because your heart was racing.
He took a second to look at you in your wasted prom attire, and he was locked in a trance for a second before he snapped out of it. “Oh... uh, these are for you,” he held out the flowers to you and you took them with a smile.
“Wow, I love them. Thank you,” you brought them up to your nose for a whiff of your favorite floral scent. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked awkwardly.
“Oh crap, sorry, do you want to come in?” you said before he would answer, and you opened the door wider so he could step inside.
Hawk looked around the room where he’s been countless times, and he frowned at the sight of 13 Going On 30 paused on the screen with half melted ice cream on the coffee table. That movie plus the sweet dessert was your absolute comfort pairing, and it made him sad that you needed it.
“Cara texted me, and I was worried,” he finally spoke, answering your earlier question. You suddenly felt embarrassed as you placed the bouquet in a vase. You didn’t want to be pitied. Especially by your ex-boyfriend.
“I’m fine,” you said bluntly, busying yourself with the flowers so that you wouldn’t have to face him. You hadn’t talked to him since the night you suggested the break, and you already felt too exhausted from tonight’s events to even talk about it with him. “It’s better that I didn’t go to prom with that dick.”
Hawk chuckled at your remark, and you felt more at ease. The tension between you was thicker than an iceberg, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.
“So did you leave? Or are you just dressed up like that for me?” you smiled, sitting down on the couch where he followed.
He laughed again, lightening the mood even more. “I was there, but you know, Cara told me about what happened and... I just felt like I needed to come. It was lame though. The whole thing is just dancing. And I don’t dance,” Hawk explained, and you found yourself smiling at the thought of him caring about you. “But I know how excited you were about prom, so I thought I’d bring it to you. Some romantic shit like that.”
Your eyebrows raised at “romantic shit”, but you decided not to say anything about it. Although, it did make your cheeks heat up and you hoped he didn’t notice. “That’s really sweet Hawk. Thank you. Really,” you placed your hand on top of his, but you recoiled awkwardly because it felt too intimate, given the circumstances.
You cleared your throat, “So... since you’re bringing prom to me, does that mean I get a dance?” you got up and stood in front of him with your arms playfully crossed.
Hawk squinted his blue eyes at you, crossing his arms as well, “I don’t dance, remember?”
“For me you will, right? Or I could just, you know, dance by myself. It’s already been such a great night for me,” you teased, walking away from him towards a clear space in the living room.
He groaned from behind you and got up to follow, making you cheer happily. “For you I will,” he stated under his breath, releasing dozens of butterflies in your stomach.
Dance around the living room
Lose me in the sight of you
I've seen the red, I've seen the blue
Take all of me
You turned on your Dad’s old record player, where a slow, jazzy, 60s vinyl was spinning. You almost wanted to change it because it felt too romantic, but Hawk was already waiting behind you and you were scared he would change his mind.
The rush his presence gave you made you boldly put your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffly placed his own on the curve of your waist. Your hands were locked at the nape of his neck; his hold on you was light as if you were fragile china.
You forgot how intoxicating it felt to be this close to him, and you wondered how you went so long without that feeling.
The both of you swayed to the smooth melodies of Nina Simone with interlocked eyes, and with every second his hands on your hips became more relaxed. You rested your head on his chest, pulling him closer.
For a song or two, none of you said anything; there was just an unspoken appreciation of each other’s presence. After 6 months without him, you needed this.
I'll never give you away
'Cause I've already made that mistake
If my name never fell off your lips again
I know it'd be such a shame
When I take a look at my life
And all of my crimes
You're the only thing that I think I got I right
“I should’ve never let you go,” Hawk whispered close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
“I was the one who wanted the break. It’s my fault,” you opposed, lifting your head up from his chest to look up at him.
He raised one of his hands to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and it brought a warm smile to your face. “But I didn’t chase after you,” his lips turned down into a frown.
You put your hands on the sides of his face while you two continued to sway to the staticky vinyl. “Maybe it’s both of our faults,” you laughed lightly, touching his soft skin.
“It’s me Y/N. I’m the one who lied to you throughout the whole relationship. I’m so sorry,” Hawk looked down at you with glossy eyes. “I’ve done so much fucked up shit. But you’re the only thing I got right. I hate myself for ruining it too.”
Your felt yourself melt at his confession. “It’s not ruined,” you disputed. “You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. I shouldn’t have given up on us. I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes in peace as your hands ran through his bright hair. It was down from its usual style, giving him a softer look.
“Maybe we both messed up. But I’m never giving you away again Y/N. I won’t make that mistake. I love you,” the boy you’ve missed for months admitted, saying everything you wanted to hear.
You kissed him in reply.
a/n: ah idk if i like this but i hope u do, i feel like my writings are getting repetitive im having bad writers block (as u can tell by how slow im doing requests)
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zodiacrant · 3 years
Text
🍩My experiences with each Moon sign🍩
(Cause yall are messy)
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I have done this a few times before but for Sun signs and did rank placements but never shared my thoughts and experiences with the Moon signs.
Now I know how this goes, so if you get mad or sad then go off I guess. Aint the first time I get cursed out or attacked in this bitch. Plus, I am a Cap moon so naturally I won’t do well with some Moons and I will be nitpicking everything about everyone.
🍩Aries Moon🍩
My dad’s moon. Yup, that tells you alot without me even starting. Having our Moons in Square shit was hard to say the least. It took a long time for us to be on middle grounds and because I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems here I will continue on. The Aries Moon that I really like and can think of is Rihanna, so I would say it’s unfair to make a whole judgment but from what I saw and heard they’re not exactly the best to be around. So I give them a 3/10 for being bold and having nerve.
🍩Taurus Moon🍩
Now this Moon right here I know people from ( a close friend and my sister, plus some others) and I don’t have many strong opinions about it. As a Taurus Sun, it can be a challenge to work with a Taurus Moon. I am stubborn at my core and they’re stubborn with their heart, so everytime we disagree it’s like a rope pulling contest. Way too stagnant for me but I think that’s because of my other placements and they don’t take any advice or open up no matter what. On to the good, I never disliked someone with this placement. No matter how much of an asshole they can be, to me it is difficult to hate them or stay mad at them. They’re warm, kind, and sweet but a bit aloof and naive, also they don’t like to touch and hug as some people might think. I will give them a 8/10
🍩Gemini Moon🍩
(⚠️TW⚠️ mention of rape and erratic behavior)
I only had one best friend with this placement and I don’t I want to meet any more, and I am at peace with that if they resemble her in any way. She was a maniac. She loved to lie, create drama, blow shit up, act crazy and basically be shocking. I do find similarities with Gemini Sun where they do shit for reactions but with her, she will take it to the next level. Lie about being raped, act possessed, or pretend that she is being followed. It’s not fair to associate her with people who share the same Moon as her but that was y’all’s representation in my life. She was erratic so it’s difficult to see where her Moon was in effect and where she was just off. I’ll give them a 1/10, would not recommend until proven otherwise.
🍩Cancer Moon🍩
The first that comes to my mind is Taylor Swift and to me she is the ultimate Cancer Moon. It juat makes sense how fast she takes it to the next level with people. Whether getting serious quickly with someone or throwing down and feuding. She just always at a 100. Personally, I never got close with someone who has this placement, maybe it’s because I am a Capricorn Moon myself, but I would say the ones that I have met were nice. I’ll give them a 5/10
🍩Leo Moon🍩
I only had one best friend with this placement but the people I have met with this Moon I still remember. They all had one thing in common and that was being emotionally traumatized and have lost one parent. My best friend was super loyal, very confident in what they believed in and represented, were always there for me and had an amazing ability in motivating others. But they were also super prideful and there’s no coming back with them. Fight once and it’s over. (Yes I am looking at you Jonnie). One of the other people was with me in uni and always had the to urge won up me and my friend. He had scars all over and he doesn’t remember how he got them. But he was super proud of himself and his home country, which I respect and admire. I’ll give them a 6/10
🍩Virgo Moon🍩
I know two people with this placement, my mom and a professor at uni, and oh boy it makes sense that they’re a Virgo Moon. Me and my mom are too alike that we clash strongly at times. She thinks she can do it better and I think I can do it better and we just have like a competition on who done it better basically. From cooking, to how you light the stove, to how you put on clothes, to how you lay down on bed. Both my mom and my professor are super critical and precise, althogh my professor is a double Virgo (Sun and Moon) so she will go even further. They have to do everything as it arises and act like there’s no time and everything is about to go wrong. Like damn sis chill the fuck out for a sec and this is coming from a Cap moon so you know it’s bad. But I really like Virgo Moon, even though people might hate such a personality but I can relate to them in some ways. I’ll give them 7/10
🍩Libra Moon🍩
My only online friend that I talk to all the time got this Moon. Other than her I met only two people and they were something. Okay so for my friend, because I never actually have seen her physically with my own eyes I can’t say how she acts all the time, but she is one of the best listeners I had in my life. She likes to hear me ramble for an hour about a dumb encounter that lasted a second, talking about astrology and some nerdy things and then not so nerdy things. I believe that it’s a Libra Moon quality to be emotionally versatile and attentive. I think because she is a Leo dominant she acts much fiery and fiercely than a Libra would. As for the other people I just thought they were fake. One acted as a friend but then would just disappear so I was over it quickly and the other was super passive and pretentious that I think she shits out plastic. All in all I think it’s a great Moon. I’ll give them a 7/10
🍩Scorpio Moon🍩
One of the hardest Moons I ever delt with but I find that I love them too. My oldest sister had this Moon and she is such a mystery. Because I am a Taurus Sun, it is only natural for me to have a hard time with a Scorpio Moon. Even though she is an extrovert, she rarely talks about herself and her feelings, you will never catch her slipping or show vulnerability. I can see how difficult it may be for her being a Cancer with a Scorpio Moon and have Gemini dominance. But she’s a bitch at heart and I am cool with it. I’ll give them 5/10 cause I am not a big fan of paradoxical people
🍩Sagittarius Moon🍩
A moon that I always babysat. I had two best friends with this Moon and if I was born a second earlier, it would mine too. I don’t know if it’s because of my Gemini Venus or my 0 degree Capricorn Moon but I love Sagittarius Moons. I was fortunate to see some of their weaknesses and for them to trust me enough to be vulnerable. But boy do they get themselves into the dumbest situation because they wanted to see what would happen. I had to babysit them and help them do everything like shopping, cooking, cleaning, assembling furniture, be their body guard when buying weed. (Shhhh it’s a secret). They’re in many ways immature cause they run from things and everytime you try to be real with them, they say “stop being negative”. I’ll give them a 9/10
🍩Capricorn Moon🍩
The grande dame of the Moon signs, sitting at it’s opposite planet. I have met many Cap Moons and honestly we are bitches 😂. The energy of sitting next to a Capricorn Moon is too fucking much like I never knew it’s like that. I noticed the way they stare, talk, walk and sit can be so aggressive and intimidating. I see why people might label us as bullies, cause the energy is definitely there and I myself was such a cunt (still a little but I am more aware of myself now) that I get where both are coming from. Life as a Capricorn Moon is emotionally flat. If wasn’t for my other placements you will never see me even flinch. I think we just take everything and let it process in our head before we let it into our hearts. So to me, we’re not mean, we just don’t see how something might be hurtful. But also that tone and that blank face, goddam! That’s why I try to smile cause bitch no, I didn’t know I was walking with a death stare this whole time. Anyways, I will give us 10/10 cause I am self appreciative like that 😂✌️
🍩Aquarius Moon🍩
I have always tried to understand Aquarius Moon and it was only a month ago that I have realized they themselves are not sure of who they’re. I had one best friend with this placement and three cousins (all siblings). First, my cousins are super competitive with each other on who gets to do what and if it happens that they’re similar in something they will get pissed. The person that was my best friend was like that as well. Only he would drop a an entire hobby, interest, something close to his heart, shit even a personality trait. I find them to be constantly changing and trying, so they shift between one end of extreme to the other until they center themselves. I’ll give them a 4/10
🍩Pisces Moon🍩
Now let’s talk about a depressing placement, in my opinion of course 😅. I don’t know if it’s the influence of Neptune on the Moon or is it the just the demeanor of Pisces, but good god girl get a grip (they call this the five G’s). My youngest sister is a Pisces Moon, and as creative as she is, she is pessimistic and overly cynical. I mean I am all for being critical and real but looking at everything with jacked up black sprayed glasses is just too much for me. Other than my sister I don’t know any Pisces Moon very well but I had a few acquaintances. I noticed that they talked about a specific thing and that’s it. I have found them to be amazing at drawing, painting and have an incredible artistic sense. At times twisted and dark, but I love the art that comes with it. I’ll give them a 5/10
Here’s the tea. It’s Pisces season so remember I am sensitive right now, and also it’s my life and I wish I met someone as amazing as you might think you’re. (Maybe that was a little too aggressive)
Okay love you ❤️
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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years
Text
LIFE-SAVING SHARPIE
Summary: Despite being a muggle, Y/n's mother was an expert in divination. She tried to teach Y/n, who saw it as a mere muggle game. But, oh, what a powerful weapon a muggle game can become in the hands of the right witch.
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader
Genre: angst (w/ a good ending)
Tags:
Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog
Warnings: injuries, death(ish)
A/N: I'm not saying I'm incapable of writing an angsty ending for a Fred Weasley story, but I'd rather not do that, so here comes a stupid story that occurred to me this morning, enjoy <3
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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"Y/l/n!" I sighed. "Is it true?"
"Your mom is into divination?" George question made me throw my head back in desperation as both twins made their way through the Great Hall to meet me.
I knew that day would be a bumpy one the moment we entered in the Divination classroom. The fact that a muggleborn aced a new subject since class one was strange.
I knew I would have to give some explanation to my friends after. Ron was particularly shocked by the fact that my muggle mother had taught me —against my will, may I say— lots of Divination-related things. I knew Ron, being Ron, would surely tell every soul that would listen about his discovery, but I had hoped for him to wait until the third period at least.
"Secrets spread like wildfire here." I said.
"Are you secretly a soothsayer?"
"Yes, Fred. You see, I have the Sight." I ironically stated, and, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to get closer to the boy I fancied, I added "Want me to read your palm?"
They shared an amused look, fully aware that I was joking. Even in the Wizarding World, divination wasn't something to believe in.
There were supposed to be people able to see the future, such as professor Trelawney, but no student had seen her predict a thing, so she wasn't the best example.
George was the first one to sit down. "Predict my future, oh, you who were gifted with the Sight." I snorted as he laid his palm before my eyes.
I picked his hand on mines, "Hmm..." Fred hovering over my form from behind wasn't ideal for me to concentrate. "Okay so..." I felt one of his hands toying with the clasp of my necklace, brushing my nape. "Will you stop touching my necklace and sit down?" I demanded.
"Yeah Fred, sit down." George reprimanded his brother. "She's trying to see my future." I heard Fred chuntering before he plopped down on my other side, leaning on a tad too close for my liking. "Alright, fortuneteller, is there a love line?"
Of course he would ask about that. "Let's see..." I traced said line, unable to remember to the T what my mom had tried to teach me. "So, the heart line is arched... Which means..."
"That you can't tell a thing?" I slapped Fred's arm.
"Which means he's balanced." I corrected him. "You're able to realize when you need to take care of yourself, and when you should let a someone in." George seemed invested. "You'll have just one serious partner, but they'll be the right one."
"Well, that doesn't sound half bad, huh?" He looked at me with a content smile.
"My turn." Fred spoke, smacking his brother's hand away and replacing it with his left one. "The line of life or whatever." He scooted a bit closer and I felt my heartbeat pick up. "What's my fate?"
"Are you left-handed, Fred?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised, already knowing the answer. "I need your dominant hand." Oh well, that came out wrong.
"Straightforward, are we?" George snorted at his brother's remark as he exchanged hands, turning to straddle the bench to be more comfortable. "Alright, what do you see?" He had leaned on to the point where he only needed to tilt his head down a couple of inches to rest it on my shoulder.
"A hand." I deadpanned, which earned a playful push from him. "Okay, okay— I see..." A puzzled frown took over my gaze. "Wait—" I turned to George. "gimme your hand."
"What?" Fred questioned, shifting his position ever so slightly.
"Uhm..." The frown grew bigger, and I had to remind myself what I was doing was a joke. "You... don't have a lifeline?" I dubiously informed. "I mean— it sorta... Starts? but then it fades away." I widened my eyes and froze, remembering what that meant.
I saw Fred tilting his head slightly. "Is it so bad that you won't tell me what it means?" He asked jokingly in order to lighten my distraught mood.
"It— well, it means that you'll die at a young age." My eyes met his and, despite the amused smile that always danced on his lips, fear slipped out of his orbs now, too.
"Wait what?" George propped himself on his forearms to see his brother's palm. "Can't be. Check mine?"
"I just did, you git." George wasn't even smiling. Maybe he did believe it. "Yours is fine."
The three of us stayed in silence for an instant. Even if none of us believed in divination, the fact that Fred had no lifeline was rather unsettling.
"It's fine." I cleared my throat, turning to my bag and leaving Fred's hand over the table on the process. "Apart from seeing the future, I can fix lifelines." They looked at each other when they saw me grab a sharpie. "Don't move." I demanded, holding down Fred's right hand before tracing a black line where the lifeline was supposed to be. "There. A long, healthy life."
When I looked back at the twins' faces, I saw them ready to laugh. Distress had already left them, and that helped my own evaporate.
"Merlin, Y/n!" Fred dramatically exclaimed. "You've just saved my life!"
"She sure did." George agreed, patting my back.
"Now go and tell Ron to shut up." I didn't want to imagine what would happen if people started to believe I could actually predict their future; the twins were sceptic and even they had somehow fallen for it.
I was so focused on George getting up that I didn't even notice Fred's hand flipping and wrapping around mine.
A soft kiss was placed on my cheek and I felt my face heating up even before meeting Fred's proud grin. "Figured I'd give my savior something in repay." His eyes seemed to flicker to my lips for a second; it's just my imagination, I thought, unaware of Fred's thumb caressing the back of my hand until he removed it in order to stand up.
Four Years Later
FRED'S P. O. V.
One second I was laughing at Percy's joke, and the next one everything was black; not only visually, everything was pitch black in every fucking sense.
I heard nothing, I couldn't touch anything, my voice was gone.
My mind was completely blank, until a thought slipped in my brain: 'you'll die at a young age'.
My head was spiralling now. I was dead. That's what death felt like? Nothing?
Y/n's words kept going on and on, frying my brain. How ironic it was that the voice I would have forever in my mind belonged to the girl I had been in love with since I was fourteen, and the words were what we thought to be her silly prediction.
I had no idea how long it had been, but suddenly I felt it; a tear running down my cheek. A flaming hot tear, burning its way off my face. Then I felt something else, some sort of rope wrapping tight around my right hand and wrist, so tight that it made my pulse speed up.
My pulse.
It dawned on me that my heart was beating fast against my chest. It was beating.
I needed to breathe.
"FRED!" Someone forced my eyes open; It was Percy. I couldn't see him right away because the lights were blinding to my eyes, but I recognised his voice. "FRED SAY SOMETHING!"
"Y/n..." I couldn't hear my own voice, but I felt her name going through my vocal cords.
"HE'S ALIVE!" Ron cried. "you're alive-" my sight was blurry but I could pick out my younger brother's crown in front of me as he sobbed over my chest.
"We gotta get him out of here right now!!" Of course it was Hermione who got everyone moving. As both my brothers managed to pick me up, I felt my eyes closing once more. Not even the fear of not waking up again stopped me from passing out.
READER'S P. O. V.
I had volunteered as Healer to help Madam Pomfrey during the Battle, that's why it was me who received two Weasleys practically dragging a third one into the improvised infirmary.
I recognised him from his jacket. "Fred..." At first I thought it was his corpse, that's how bad he looked.
"Y/N!!" It was only when Fred seemed to tilt his head up due to Ron's cry that I reacted, rushing to help them. "Keep him alive!" I only nodded, taking Ron's place as he took off.
With one of his arms over my shoulders and the other over his brother's, we managed to carry him to one of the stretchers; his painful weak groans went directly into my ear as we moved him, triggering the tears I was holding to fall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRED'S P. O. V.
"—alive, somehow." Y/n's voice, though it sounded far away, let me know she was close. "No, don't wake him up."
"Listen, you gotta get him to St. Mungo." It seemed George the one talking, but his voice was too shaky to tell. "in an hour this is gonna get really ugly, I want him out."
"George, we're besieged." Her tone was hopeless.
"Look at him, You said it— It's a bloody miracle he's still breathing." my brother's voice shattered; all I wanted was to get up, hug him and say I was okay, but I felt my brain spinning once more. "Bill and I will escort you out of the castle so..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next time I opened my eyes, terror inundated me; everything was dark again. I gasped for air and propped myself up, instantly regretting it. A stabbing pain attacked every part of my body, triggering a shocked cry out of me.
"What are you doing?!" Y/n whisper-shouted, before placing both her hands over my chest to push me back to the bed again. "Are you mental?" Her fingertips moved out of the way a bandage that covered my eyes. "Oi, listen," when she noticed my shaky hands desperately trying to reach my face, she took them in hers. "You're safe."
I tried to say something —anything—, but my throat was sore, and the only thing that was able to leave it was her name.
"Shhh." She hushed me, letting one of her hands travel to my face. "You have to rest." I would have sworn she was crying, but I couldn't tell. "Everything'll get better." Her thumb stroking my cheek was the most soothing thing I had ever felt, so it wasn't difficult for me to close my eyes, this time willingly, though I was equally scared. "I'll stay by your side." The reassuring squeeze her hand gave me, made me aware that she had noticed my fear.
Before drifting off, I felt Y/n's lips placing a chaste kiss on my forehead, making my heart hammer against my chest.
I was still alive.
A Month Later
READER'S P. O. V.
It was Ron who sent me an owl the moment Fred finally got out of the hospital. He informed me that, instead of going to the Burrow to rest a few days—as planned—, ha had gone straight to the shop.
That's how I found myself the next morning inside Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, which was not-so-surprisingly full of people again.
Due to the huge amount of customers, it was relatively difficult for me to spot the twins.
Apparently, I turned out to be easy to spot.
"Y/n!" I turned in the stairs' direction to be met with a very enthusiastic George who, before I could even greet him, engulfed me in a hug.
"I see you can't catch a break." I observed, pulling away with a big smile on my face. That place really made the trick to bring joy to everyone.
"You can't imagine." He replied, his gaze wandering around before pulling my hand. "Oi, Fred! Look who dropped by!" He shouted over the hubbub, leading me to the till counter, behind which I saw the reason why I had come in the first place.
Just as Fred's eyes noticed me, he attempted to rush out of the till. I left George's side as soon as I realized that he, in fact, couldn't really rush out.
"Merlin's beard!" Despite he had just had to grip the counter in order not to fall, he tried again. "Take it easy, will you?" I scolded him, steadying him by his forearms and helping him step back to rest against the till. "Do you want to go back to the hospital?"
"If you're the one taking care of me, I wouldn't complain." The first time his eyes fell on my lips, I missed it because I was still securing him. The second time it was impossible to miss. "You know? Your sharpie saved my life."
I snorted at his nonsensical words. "You're delirious, Weasley." My hands finally left his forearms, just to be picked up on his. "Still suffering from the concussion?" I joked, trying to deviate my own attention from my fast heartbeat.
Another glance at my lips.
"I should get going." George spoke behind me.
"I was going to visit you tomorrow." Fred stated, his gaze now focused on my eyes.
"Sorry to break it to you, love," I pointed out, motioning at him with our hands still held. "But you can barely walk."
"Yeah, but I needed to see you." He looked somehow sheepish; I doubted I had ever seen him like that before. "I'm gonna be as clear and concise as possible—" He cleared his throat and forced himself to look at me. "I'm pretty much in love with you." I didn't know my eye could go as wide as they went. "Thing's I've known for a good couple of years now." He shrugged. "Telling you scared me, but then this happened." He gestured at himself. "And now not being able to tell you scares me even more." His eyes scanned me before looking around. "This wasn't the ideal place to tell you, but I didn't want to wait any longer."
I gulped, trying to process it as fast as possible.
"For Godric's sake, Y/n," he gently tugged my hand. "Say something, please." Fear started to take over him, even if he tried to keep it at bay. "It's alright if you don't feel the same, we can still be friends, I promise—"
"How do I kiss you without hurting you?" I questioned, already feeling the heat on my cheeks.
I could tell by his face that, out of everything I could have said, he was not expecting the answer I had given him. "Ever the caring one." He let go of my hands to cup my cheeks. "Just kiss me," he sounded so happy, it was contagious. "I'll deal with the pain later."
I listened to him and, holding onto his blazer, stood on my tiptoes and crashed my lips against his— only because I had been wanting to kiss him for too fucking long.
I got lost in the kiss and my brain completely dismissed that an entire wall had collapsed over the boy before me just a month ago; my hands went up to his neck, pulling him closer and, consequently, earning a painful groan from him.
"Shit! sorry." I was quick to let go, suddenly very aware of our surroundings, too.
He just shook his head and pulled my back to him, this time by my hips. "I said I'll deal with it later." He spoke against my lips before going in for a second kiss.
I was more gentle now, careful not to cause him too much pain.
To our dismay, we were interrupted.
"You said love confession!" George snapped us out of it; this time the groan Fred let out was from annoyance. "not snogging session in front of our customers! Get to work!"
He huffed, unwillingly separating from me. "If you stick around until lunch time, we can resume this."
I pretended to think about it. "I guess I can find something to do until then." My smile was as wide as his, and it grew wider when he pulled my into a hug, placing a kiss on the crown of my head. "I love you too, by the way."
His laugh reverberated on his chest. "Good to know."
"Freddie! Now!" This time it was me who groaned at George's demands.
"Help me out, love." Fred requested, pulling away from me so I could help him move behind the till counter. "See you in a couple of hours?" I nodded, pecking his cheeks and walking away from the shop.
It was when I started to walk down the Diagon Alley that it clicked.
His lifeline.
The sharpie.
"OH MY FUCK—"
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illfoandillfie · 3 years
Text
Kinktober Day 1: Rimming
Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist
Pairing: Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader
Words: 3,560
Warnings: Rimming, anal sex, some vaginal fingering, himbo Ben (mild unintentional hypnosis I guess)
A/N: Welcome to Kinktober! This is actually an idea i’ve been thinking about for quite a while. We’ve done himbo Rog and himbo Gwil so it only seemed fair to do himbo Ben and since he’s obviously an ass man......only made sense that he’d be into anal lmao. It seemed like the perfect fit for the first of these prompts. But this is the first time I’ve written (or even really thought about) rimming so I hope it’s okay!
“Geeze Ben, could you maybe close your porn next time. Didn’t really expect to see that autoplay when I woke the computer up this morning,”  Ben snorted into his plate of eggs, “Which one was it?”  “Something called Anal Punisher 3.”  “Don’t know what you’re complaining about, that’s a good one.” His eyes twinkled teasingly and he poked his tongue out as you sat in front of your own plate.  “I’m sure it is.” You chuckled, able to see the funny side now that you weren’t staring directly at close up of a porn stars arsehole, “Just not when I’m trying to check my emails on our shared desktop.”   “As if you’ve never had a cheeky wank at that computer.”  “That’s what I have a laptop for,” You laughed again, shaking your head.  “Alright, fair play. I only left it up cause you got home early last night and I had to, um, clean up.”  You rolled your eyes at the flimsy excuse.  “And if you don’t want me watching Anal Punisher 3 then maybe you should let me punish your anal....arse....fuck, you know what I mean.”  It was your turn to snort into your breakfast, Ben’s clumsy attempt at seduction nearly making you inhale the scrambled eggs. When you finally got yourself under control you said, “I don’t care if you watch it, just shut it down when you’re finished.”   “Sorry love,”  “But  y’know, if you did want to anal arse fuck me tonight I wouldn’t say no.”  Ben’s eyes lit up in excitement. He’d either not heard the joke you’d made at his expense or decided it wasn’t worth bringing up if the possibility of anal was on the table, “Serious?”  “Serious. I’ll even put my plug in when I get dressed so we don’t have to spend as much time on foreplay.”  “If I hadn’t already married you, I’d propose on the spot.” 
But by the time Ben got home he seemed more interested in just cuddling on the couch. You’d done as you said you would and worn your plug all day, constantly thinking about what would happen later that night. Right up until Ben stepped inside yawning, when you snuck off to the bathroom to remove it, realising your plans were unlikely to go ahead. You’d half expected him to fall asleep on the couch after dinner but evidently, some part of him still wanted you. He tapped his thigh and beckoned you towards him, pulling you down so he could hold you close and kiss your shoulder. Soon enough that cuddling had turned to making out, you straddling his lap as you kissed him deeply, his large hands pulling you into him, stroking whatever bare skin he could find. Without thinking you dragged your fingers through his hair. He hummed in response so you did it again, your fingers creating small, firm circles against his scalp, drawing random patterns there as you focused on keeping your lips on his and your tongues entwined. Ben made soft pleased sounds as your fingers kept up their movement, almost moaning at the sensation. You could feel him getting harder under you as you carefully rocked your hips.   “Benny?”  “Huh?”  His hands had begun to roam more, moving down to your arse, grabbing and squeezing as he pulled you against him.  “Kinda got me excited here honey. Might wanna stop if you’re too tired to carry through,”  “What?”   He seemed nearly dazed, not properly comprehending what you were saying.   You shifted your hand to his chest, drawing small circles with your finger, “I mean I’ve been thinking about you fucking me all day anyway.”  “Think?”  “Exactly, thinking about our conversation this morning. Remember? Anal Punisher 3?”  “Anal?” It was still a question but there was a tone of excitement behind the dopey confusion.  “You said you wanted to.... I kinda really want you to.”  “Mmmm,”  “I mean I get it if you’re too tired,” you said softly, stroking your palms over his biceps, “but I’m up for it now if you are. So, do you still want to?”  “Mmhmm,” but as keen as he sounded, Ben didn’t seem inclined to move to the bedroom or even to begin to undress you. He was too caught up in feeling you up and trying to kiss you again.   “Don’t you want me Benny?”  He was slow to react, eyes still shut as he nodded, speech flowing like treacle “Want - you.”  “You can have me.” You had to lean back to stop him from kissing you again. As much as you liked making out, you were getting eager for more and wanted to know where he was at.  He nodded again, not seeming to hear you, and then, when he couldn’t immediately locate your lips again, opened his eyes.   It reminded you of the time a few friends had dragged you and Ben to a hypnotists show. None of your group had been pulled on stage to experience the hypnotic powers the man claimed to have, but those who had been had all worn similar expressions to Ben. Eyes heavy lidded and almost glazed over and when they’d gone back to their seats you’d noticed that they seemed a bit dazed and confused. You’d not seen Ben look like that before. Well, maybe a bit dazed after you gave him a proper good blow job, but nothing to this extent. Not even when you edged him repeatedly. He tended to get whiny and loud rather than glassy eyed and dopey. Usually more talkative too, begging or moaning your name. This was something new.  
Curiously, you stoked his hair back off his face and asked him how he felt, tugging lightly on the ends that reached the back of his neck.  “Good,” he sighed softly, “Kiss?”  You couldn’t deny him that when he’d asked so cutely, so you leaned in to kiss him again, letting him draw you in deeply for a moment. When the chance arose you let your lips slip from his, kissing along his jaw until you reached his ear, “What else do you want?”  Ben hummed softly and then said, “Arse.”  It was unusual for Ben to be so monosyllabic. Even when he was super horny and desperate for you, he could generally get most of a coherent sentence out. Nothing that would win any literary awards of course, but enough so you knew what he meant.  “What do you mean Benny?”  “Ummm....arse.....cock.”  It sounded like it had been a struggle for him to even think of the two words he wanted but you couldn’t help but giggle, “Does that mean you want to fuck me?”  “Yeah,”  “Okay baby. But you have to do everything I say, understand?”  Ben nodded.  “Can you do what I say Benny? Be a good boy and follow my instructions?”  He nodded again, “Yes. Please.”  You kissed him once more, trying not to laugh too much, and then scooted off his lap.  Ben whined as soon as the physical contact was broken.  “If you want my arse we gotta move to the bedroom,”  He frowned as if he didn’t quite understand but let you take his hand all the same and followed you to the bedroom. 
Ben’s hands began to wander again when you stopped to open your bedroom door, grasping your hips and then dropping lower to rest against your behind.   It was hard to ignore the tingle the light contact sent through you but you bit down on your rising need as you turned and grasped Ben’s hands, “Gotta wait for that Benny. Just a little longer.” You stepped back towards the bed and Ben smiled dopily as you pulled him along. “I mean I’m ready but not all the way. But if you help get me lubed up you can fuck my arse for as long as you want.”  It was like a light turned on inside Ben’s mind. His eyes still had that unfocused look but they were wider and he was nodding enthusiastically.  “You gonna undress me or should I start for you?” You laughed and when he didn’t immediately move you began pulling your shirt off over your head, too eager to wait. You reached behind you to unclasp your bra, “C’mon Benny. Help me out.”  Ben blinked twice before he seemed to understand but was soon offering his help, pulling the bra from your arms, gently cupping your breasts as he revealed them, thumbs falling into a familiar rhythm rubbing back and forth over your nipples. Still moving slowly, Ben leaned in and kissed your throat, humming in response as you pressed your chest into his hands and sighed contentedly. But he clearly had something else on his mind because soon enough his hands fell, fingers picking at the waistband of your leggings. Indulging him you quickly shed your pants, turning so he could see the thing he really wanted as you stripped off the final layer of clothing. Ben watched intently as you wiggled your hips teasingly and eked the waistband of your knickers down a few inches. And then something changed. 
You felt it in the air, a shift in energy, but even that wasn’t enough to prepare you as Ben growled and lunged forward, his hands tight on your waist as he lifted you onto the bed, barely giving you time to settle on your hands and knees before he dived in behind you.   All you could manage was to gasp his name as he rushed to tear your underpants down your thighs. But your surprise at his sudden movement doubled as he spread your cheeks and buried his face between them. He’d licked you like that once or twice but only when he’d been eating your pussy and teasingly snuck his tongue elsewhere as you tried to recover from your orgasm. This was entirely different.  
It felt similar to the vaguely tickly sensation he made you feel when he was helping you relax before a round of anal, when he would tease you with light strokes from his fingers until you were shivering and wanting more. But there was more heat to it. His breath hot and his tongue wet as he traced your hole. You felt like you’d been completely lit up from within, like he’d suddenly discovered a hundred more nerve endings than he usually hit. And adding to all the physical sensations of Ben’s fingers holding you open and his mouth exploring your darkest nooks, was the feeling of doing something properly filthy. You’d felt the same when you and Ben first tried anal, completely depraved at enjoying something so taboo. That feeling had lessened as you did it more, your enjoyment then stemming from Ben’s improved skills more than the act itself. But with your head against the sheets and your arse in the air you remembered why you’d liked feeling so downright dirty. It only heightened your desire and made every caress of Ben’s tongue sweeter.  
Of course, best of all was just how into Ben was. You wondered how he could possibly be breathing when every second seemed to be taken up with moans and groans as he feasted on you. The noises started softly as he tantalized you with hard licks against your arsehole and the surrounding area. But as his tongue explored deeper, as he pressed into you, making your arse feel slick and hot with his drool and making your pussy throb, he got louder. He seemed to enjoy you more and more, as if he’d never eaten anything as satisfying in his life. That was enough to have you shaking. You were already wet from grinding against him on the couch but the ways he was touching you and how thoroughly he was enjoying it had you positively soaked.   “Finger me Benny,” you gasped, trying to maintain some of the control you’d intended to have.  Ben did as you asked, never able to deny you what you craved, but it wasn’t up to his usual standard. His fingers weren’t as deft as normal, moving awkwardly and out of time. It was as if his fingers were trying to work off of muscle memory alone, his mind too consumed with something else to take any notice of your cunt.   With a needy whine you clumsily disentangled one fist from the sheets and batted Ben’s hand out of the way, replacing it with your own.  Ben didn’t make any indication that he’d noticed you start touching yourself, except to tighten his grip on your arse, holding you firmly as you began to writhe against your fingers. He happily went back to gripping a cheek in each hand, pulling them wide to give himself better access to your arsehole.   It seemed that wearing your plug had been a good idea because Ben found it easy to press his tongue into you, licking around and making your muscles tighten before withdrawing and sinking in again.   And that stimulation plus your own fingers in your cunt made you moan wantonly into the bedding.  Ben answered with his own long, loud moan of desire, sending a shiver along your spine. It was enough to tip you over the edge, your fingers massaging a spot within you as Ben rapidly tongued your hole. 
You rode out your high before letting your fingers slip back to tangle in the sheets once more, but Ben showed no signs of stopping. He might very well have kept up the intoxicating performance all night if you hadn’t whined his name. Even that wasn’t enough to make him stop entirely, just slow down and hum.  “Ben? Benny?” you gasped, as he readjusted his grip on you, “You gonna fuck me or what?”  Ben groaned as if he didn’t want to stop tasting you but wanted to move on to other things as well. And you were on the verge of instructing him to get the lube when you felt his fingers. He reached under you, two digits carefully tracing along your cunt, sliding through the creamy evidence of your earlier orgasm. He didn’t break contact, his fingers just as softly sliding along your crack and up to your arsehole. And then they were pushing against the ring of muscle.  Usually he’d take his time applying lube but he seemed too lost in the moment to remember it. You didn’t mind too much though. Lube might have made it a touch more comfortable but wearing the plug had helped loosen you up and Ben had thoroughly coated everything with his saliva and your own cum. His fingers breached you moderately easily, making you shiver and whine at the feeling of being filled again.   “God it’s a good thing we do this a lot,” you half sighed, half laughed into the sheets, as Ben’s fingers sank another inch into you.  Ben’s only response was to lean forward and lick around where his fingers were penetrating you, humming happily as he did so. 
Ben seemed inclined to spend just as long fingering you as he did licking you, but the way his fingers moved inside you quickly had you worked up and eager for more.   “God Ben. You’re hard right?”  Ben only pumped his fingers into you faster but you took it as a yes.  "So fuck me already. Please Benny,” It came out whinier than you’d expected so you cleared your throat and tried a proper demand, “I need your cock in my arse now Ben.”  You weren’t sure it would be enough to get Ben’s attention. He seemed too engrossed in fingering you to even hear what you were saying. But thankfully, something broke through his blinders.  Suddenly, his fingers disappeared. It was followed by the sound of his pants coming down and then you felt the head of his cock against your back entrance.  “Wait,” You gasped, “Wait. Lube.”  Ben repeated the word lube in a grunt, shifting hips slightly so he could run his shaft along your soaked cunt. You felt him between your lips, as if he were teasing you, sliding back and forth, coating his length in your juices.   A moment later, he returned to your other hole, his hands on your hips to pull your arse back onto him.  Ben let out a satisfied groan as he sank into you but you were panting roughly, almost seeing stars with how good it felt to finally be filled the way you wanted to be. Once or twice your breath hitched, the discomfort of his size pushing into you exacerbated by the lack of proper lube. But it wasn’t enough to truly bother, certainly not enough to stop. The fact that just seeing your arse had made Ben snap into an animalistic, almost feral demeanour had made you impossibly horny. And you were desperate for him to fuck you properly now he was fully sheathed in your arsehole’s tight embrace.   Ben moaned at the feeling, vocalising your own desire. And then he said something.   “What was that Benny?” you asked, unable to comprehend him.  “Fuck....arse......hngggg.....arse.....” he said though you were sure you were missing something. But as nonsensical as it was it was still hot. Knowing Ben was so desperate for this, for you, knowing you could make him babble incomprehensibly. It was insanely hot.   And then he began to fuck you.   You whined and brought your hand to your pussy again, finding your clit, though Ben’s frantic thrusts made it hard to keep the contact consistent.  
You screamed when you came, voice tearing out of your throat as Ben roughly pounded into you, his hips almost bruising hard against your arse.   It was nearly impossible for you to breathe under so much pleasure and you panted for air as the orgasm subsided.  But Ben was still going, still thrusting into you furiously, grunting with the effort as he neared his own release.   You gasped his name and told him to cum, trying to not get swept away by the feeling of his cock moving inside you, wanted him to keep going almost as much as you wanted to feel his semen warm you from the inside out, and drip out of you.   Your request was enough to make him shudder to a halt, his hands squeezing your hips tightly as he released himself with a groan.  He thrust a few more times and your limbs gave out. You felt them wobble and then collapse under you, Ben’s body pressing you into the mattress as he sank down too, still trying to fuck you.  
It took you saying his name twice before he stopped though he made a reluctant sort of a sound when he realised he had to pull out.  “Well if you didn’t fuck me so well you probably could have gone on a bit longer,” you laughed as he, somewhat grudgingly, pushed himself to his feet.  With a satisfied groan you rolled over and stretched your arm out to grab Ben’s hand so you could pull him onto the bed too.   He lay on his front, sighing as his head fell into the crook of your neck, his body resting almost entirely over yours.   You were half being crushed by his weight but you enjoyed it. It was comforting and warm and you softly drew your hands over his back as you caught your breath properly.  Ben was quiet as he lay there until, some ten minutes later, he suddenly pushed himself to his knees, blinking at you. His eyes still had a vaguely unfocused appearance but the more he blinked the more normal he seemed.   “Are you okay?” He asked slowly.  You laughed and nodded, “More than okay. Lie back down, I’m too tired to sit up.”  He compiled with your request, lowering himself again but this time on his back, “I have no idea what just came over me, babe.”  With a sigh you shifted to your side, propping your head up on one hand, “What do you mean?”  “All I know is I saw your arse and just needed it, more than anything else, more than air, I just wanted you.”  “Gotta admit, it was a little unexpected,” you lay your palm on Ben’s chest, his skin still flushed and warm to the touch, “But ummmm, definitely didn’t hate it.”  His hand landed gently on top of yours, holding you against his heart, “Did I use any lube at all?”  “Only spit and my cum.”  “Fucking hell. Are you sure you’re okay?”  “It’s fine Benny. If I’d needed anything else I would have made you stop. If I’m honest....kind of made it hotter.”  “Babe!”  “Not in a weird way! I’m not going to let you get away without lube all the time.” You laughed, “Just knowing you wanted me so badly was nice.”  “I always want you badly.”  You patted Ben’s chest softly, your heart fluttering, “Does that mean you’d want to eat my arse again another time?”  “You liked it?”  “Well you were very thorough.”  Ben groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes which just made you laugh again.  “I did enjoy it,” you said softly, deciding to put him out of his misery, “Wasn’t necessarily expecting it but it felt really good.”  “Well that’s something. I still don’t understand what just happened though.”  “What’s that saying...Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” 
Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini 
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Please Me Oikawa's Oasis: Part 1
⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+, MINORS DNI⚠️
Welcome to week 4 of the Please Me Series!  A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh! This weeks theme is Virginity Loss featuring Oikawa and Goshiki!  This weeks fics are broken into 3 parts! Please check out Joey’s fic, Guiding Goshiki!  I will link it in the Please Me master list!  
Warnings: Swearing, bad pick up lines
Word Count: 2,000
The sound of Volleyball hitting the floor and shoes shuffling around in the hard wood is all to familiar to Toru Oikawa.
He was finally, living out his dreams as a professional volleyball player. It’s all he ever wanted to do, all he had ever thought about from the time he was a young kid.
After high-school, his goals became centered around making his dream a reality. To accomplish this, he knew he would have to sacrifice a lot. Forgoing his personal life in order to pursue his main objective.
The thought never really bothered Torū. He was always popular with his fans, however none of them seemed to understand his deep desire for the sport he loved so much.
After countless failed high school relationships, he put his personal life on hold in order to pursue something more favorable.
He was given the opportunity to move to Argentina and become a member of Club Atletico San Juan. He jumped at the chance to further is professional career and move abroad, gaining citizenship to a country world renowned for its athletes. His dream was finally becoming a reality
Entering the training gym, Oikawa was anything but nervous. He knew his skills as a setter were exceptional and he always aimed to improve in any way he could. His specialty outside of setting was serving, which is what attracted the recruiters to him. Taking a deep breath, he walked into the bright gym for the first time, preparing to achieve his goals.
“Ahh Oikawa! It’s great to finally meet you” the San Juan teams head coach said as he greeted Oikawa with a smooth smile and a firm handshake.
“The pleasure is all mine sir” Oikawa says as he watches the various members begin to practice.
Oikawa was amazed at the level of skill he saw. These players were on an entirely different level, a level that only served to excited him more.
“Well, it’s probably best if you just join in. I’d like to see your abilities up close” coach says as Oikawa nod, running over to great the members of his new team.
“Hello everyone! My name is Torū Oikawa and it would be my pleasure to set for you” he smirks as the players study Oikawa closely.
Torū had always had a rather flamboyant personality. Often being the stand out character in a room. It never bothered him when others made comments about him because he was confident in himself as a person and as a setter.
The team looked at him, nodding as the captain made his way towards Torū.
“Show us what you’ve got Oikawa” the captain says as he signals for the spikers to form a line “the best way to learn is by doing.”
“I couldn’t agree more” Oikawa smirks as he turns heading close to the net.
“By the way, I prefer if you can get the toss as high so I can have time to correct the positioning if needed” he remarks as the men prepare for spiking practice.
One by one, the players toss the ball to Oikawa as he sends set after set to the players.
“I’m sorry, that one was a little long” he signals to one of the spikers “I can tell by your approach, you favor balls close to the next. I’ll adjust.”
The player nodded to Oikawa and the next player stepped up, tossing the ball to Oikawa.
“Man his adaptation skills are incredible” on of the assistant coaches says as the head coach watched Oikawa closely.
The door opens as the men shift to see a figure pushing open the door with their foot, emerging into the gym with a basket full of freshly laundered jerseys.
Letting out a deep breath, you sigh as you set the basket down, moving onto your next task of refilling the now empty water bottles.
You had been the team’s manager for almost 3 years now. You loved your job so much. The perks were fantastic and the pay was stellar. You worked long hours and traveled a lot but that never hindered your life. You actually enjoyed seeing the world with your team.
Grabbing the bottles, you begin to head for the fountain when the coach approaches you.
“YN, I’m going to need you to prepare a jersey for our newest team member. His name should be on the sheet I gave you this morning. Please have it ready by the end of the week” the coach asks as you nod in agreement.
“I’ll work on it as soon as possible sir”
“Thank you YN. We would really be lost without you” he says as you smile back, eyes glancing towards the gym floor.
You knew a new member would be starting soon. You had heard rumors of one, Torū Oikawa. You had seen his skills on many videos as the team prepared for his arrival. You took notes from what you could see so that you could immediately start helping the promising new setter.
You eyes glanced towards the net as they were met with gorgeous chocolate orbs. The young setter stared at you in wonder as you smiled sweetly, moving towards the door to fill the water bottles.
God you are so pretty Oikawa thinks to himself as he fails to hear the shouts of his teammates, as a tossed volleyball hurls straight for his head.
As you reach the door, a loud SMACK sounded causing you to turn your head towards the men to see the new setter rubbing his head feverishly.
Oh, this one’s a klutz you think to yourself as you roll your eyes, setting the bottles down and running to see if the setter was ok.
“Are you ok?” You ask running up to the new setter, trying to ignore the snickers of the other players as you check him over.
Oikawa rubs his head as he looks up to you.
“I hope you know CPR” he says looking up to you.
“Omg is it that serious?”
“No, it’s because you just took my breath away” he says smiling at you as you roll your eyes walking away as the rest of the players laugh at Oikawa’s cheesy line.
You get up, moving back to the door grabbing the water bottles and walking out.
Great another Romeo you think to yourself as you snicker lightly, remembering the young man’s pick-up line.
“He is pretty funny I’ll have to admit” you under your breath, smiling a little as you fill the teams water bottles.
“Hey Oikawa, are you sure you’re, ok?” the captain says laughing lightly.
Oikawa shakes his head smiling “if there’s one thing I’m accustomed to, it’s getting hit in the head with a volleyball.”
The team laughs as Oikawa looks to the door where you exited.
Of course, you were stunning. Oikawa had seen his far share of women but none quite gave off the radiance you did.
“Hey man” the captain said placing his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder “don’t worry about YN. She just takes her job serious. She’s not really one for screwing around.”
Oikawa nods as he looks back at the door, watching you reenter the gym. He had to admit, he admired how determined you were to do your job. And your cold tone wasn’t going to deter the great king, Torū Oikawa.
“Okey doke then guys, let’s get back to it” he says shaking his hands as he returns to his spot at the net as the next spiker tosses to him, sending a set perfectly to the spiker.
You watched in awe at the new team member. You have to admit, the man was good. He seemed to take the sport of Volleyball more seriously than his pick up game. You smiled as you watched the men hit spike after spike, kill after kill. It was refreshing to have such an invigorating member join the team.
“Alight guys, time to wrap it up” the coach yells as he grabs his clipboard “YN will you lock up tonight after your done please? Also leave the nets up tonight. We will have the gym open early for practice.”
“Of course, coach” you say smiling as the team grabs their towels and water bottles, leaving to change.
You went about your business, finishing laundry, logging notes and filing a few pieces of papers.
“Just mopping left” you say as you sign, leaving your office and heading to the gym.
The sound of volleyballs hitting the gym floor radiated from down the hall way.
What is someone still doing here you wonder to yourself as you walk into the gym, checking your watch.
You see a panting Oikawa, tossing a ball up, serving over the net with such intensity.
Your eyes widened as you body jumped at the power he held. His serves were so strong, so intense and so fast. How can anyone stop them?
“It’s not polite to stare” he says as your concentration is broken as you look over to him, smiling at you as he wipes his face off.
“Oh, I wasn’t staring- I just came to umm, I just came to mop up the gym floor” you said stuttering as you walk in, putting your bag down.
“Oh, I apologize. The coach said it was ok for me to practice” he said as he continues to try and cool down.
“No worries, I have sometime. I can wait” you say as you turn heading to sit down. “Oh and by the way, that last serve was out by like a centimeter” you say sitting down, pulling your phone out of your bag.
“Ughhhh” Oikawa says as he grabs his hair and pulls on it as you snicker.
You continue to watch Oikawa practice, 10 minutes turns into an hour, which turns into an hour and a half. While you didn’t want to interrupt his practice, you knew he needed to rest. You could tell he was overexerting himself.
You got up to talk with him when he sent up a serve, landing incorrectly on his leg and wincing.
Your eyes widen as you run to him.
“Ok that’s enough tonight, Oikawa. You’re going to hurt yourself” you said as you grab the ball from him.
“It’s fine YN, this happens all the time” he says wincing at the pain radiating from his knee. He really did overdo it.
“Alright well I don’t care how often it happens, I’m closing practice” you say grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the bench.
“YN –” he says before you interrupt him.
“It’s my job to make sure you don’t overdo it. I’m not doing my job if our setter can’t set after his first day” you say as you help Oikawa to the bench, running to grab an ice pack and a hot pack.
“Here, we will do 15 minutes cold, 15 minutes warm. Then I’ll wrap it” you say as you check his knee.
“Thanks, YN” he says sweetly as you smiley at him.
“No worries, Oikawa, it’s my job” you say as you out the ice on his knee, helping to reduce the bit of inflammation that was forming.
“When you get back home, you’ll need to take anti-inflamories. Do it every 4 hours and you should be ok!”
Oikawa looks at you as you help ice his knee, you really were something else.
“Alright” you say as you wrap his knee up “let’s get you home.”
You help Oikawa to get to the changing room, as you quickly go to mop up the gym floor. You turn off the lights to see Oikawa waiting for you at the doors.
“yoo-hoo Yn-chan” he says waving frantically at you as you roll your eyes at him braking into a smile.
“Yn-what?” You say as you help Oikawa out the front doors, locking the building behind you.
“It’s a personal greeting in Japanese. Often used for close friends” he says smirking at you.
“Oh so we are close friends now are we?” You say as you walk with him towards the dorms he was staying at
“O f course, we are YN-chan! Why wouldn’t we be!” he says smiling at you as you laugh lightly.
“You really are something else Oikawa” you say as you wave him off, heading towards your own dorm.
So are you YN, so are you.
Taglist: @serostapesweat @chaotic-nick @lovelyzabrak-meadow @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years
Text
Around You Neck
Bonus: Part 3
Relationship: Helmut Zemo x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, penetrative sex, fingering, dirty talk, exhibitionism, voyeurism, slight degradation, choking, slight metal arm kink - 18+, minors DNI Summary: Something was sparked inside you after Bucky let Zemo watch you two. Now you want to take it a little farther with Zemo but you also want Bucky there as a bit of a...guide. A/N: this was actually requested (see below)! I never, ever thought the original Around You Neck would be taken this far but it certainly has gone on a journey. You don’t technically need to read each part to understand this one but if you’d like to see the progression, please feel free. I hope this lives up to any and all expectations!
Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2
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As much as you didn’t totally want to admit it, you couldn’t stop thinking about Zemo. 
Ever since the sexual ventures you had partaken in with him and Bucky, your opinion on him had...shifted. While, no, you weren’t looking at him as some sort of romantic conquer (you were still very much dedicated to your boyfriend) you couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like for him to join again. Maybe this time a bit more...hands-on.
Truly, though, you never thought you were actually going to act on these ideas. In fact, you figured you hid your wandering mind pretty well. Some sneaky glances at Zemo and brushes of hands weren’t much to raise any alarms, especially when you were constantly in close proximity with said person. It truly didn’t get closer than being in their literal home. But you forgot to take into account the fact Bucky wasn’t exactly of normal human nature. His senses were dialed up to eleven - especially when you were in the room. 
Your shameful confession came out one afternoon. Bucky had heard you giggle at something Zemo had said and nearly punched a hole through the nearest wall before grabbing your arm. While nothing crazy, he did throw you into the nearest room with some force, anger practically emitting from him in waves.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked once the room to the door was shut. You backed away, quite surprised by the outburst, as Bucky stalked towards you, seething.
“W-What?”
“Don’t try to blame dumb with me,” he scoffed, arms folded with a pointed look on his face. “Why are you making googly eyes at Zemo?”
“Googly eyes-,”
Bucky cut you off. “And laughing like he’s the funniest fucking person on the planet? What game are you playing here, dear?”
That goddamn nickname made you cringe. Ever since Zemo restored to calling you that during the intimate encounter, Bucky hasn’t let it go, using it like some weapon. 
You shake your head, trying your best to play this off. Sure, you had some words of explanation for your boyfriend but you didn’t want it to come out right now. “I-I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t know what I’m talking about?” Bucky raised his brows in surprise. “So, you haven’t been shooting little glances at him? Or how about when your hand just so happens to end up on his shoulder? That’s definitely my favorite.” His tone was so lifeless. You gulped.
An awkward pause settled as you tried averting your gaze anywhere but at your annoyed boyfriend. This task proved to be impossible. “Bucky, please-,”
“You want to be with him, don’t you?” His question filled the room. “God, I knew this was going to happen. I never should’ve…”
You began shaking your head furiously. “Not in that way.”
“Not in that… Well then in what fucking way?”
You looked down at your hands, fiddling with your fingers anxiously. You took a deep breath. “I think we should… We should bring him into our, um, activities again.”
The silence that followed your confession was nerve-wracking. You didn’t have the guts to look at Bucky, just standing there patiently waiting on his response. The longer he stalled the more foolish you felt like you had actually cheated on him when that wasn’t anywhere near the truth. 
For a moment, you thought he wasn’t going to say anything, just storm out or something, but instead, he let out a nervous cough and asked, “In what way would you- would you want him to join us?”
You slowly gather the courage to face your boyfriend again. He looked genuinely curious, lacking any sort of rage you had assumed would be present. No, instead, he appeared interested, not even mocking you in any way. This all made you feel quite more comfortable about the truth getting out. You took a moment to recollect yourself and get your pounding heart under control.
“Well… I can’t deny that I want to sleep with him.”
“I knew it-,”
“But,” your voice raised, cutting off Bucky, “I want you there to sort of, like, l-lead him.”
Bucky cocked his head. “Lead him?”
You nodded, taking a few steps closer to your boyfriend, practically as close as you humanly could. “Tell him what to do, how to please me. Only you know that, honey.” You chuckled, placing a light hand on his chest. “Picture it: Another man wants to ravish me, but you… Only you know how to get me going. Only you know what I want, how to make me squirm. Only you can teach him and wouldn’t that just be…” Your words trailed off as your eyes fluttered shut at the thought, a soft moan leaving your lips. When you opened them again, Bucky was searching your face with great intensity. 
“You really want this, don’t you?” He asked. You shyly nodded. Bucky took a moment before continuing, “You want to be watched while you get fucked again?”
“Bucky…”
He let out a dangerous laugh. “My naughty little exhibitionist,” he shook his head, a knowing smirk playing at his lips now. You couldn’t believe he was coming around to the idea but the fact he was made your core already so wet. “Okay, doll. Let’s see what we can do.”
***
Bucky had decided to take the lead when it came to bringing this up with Zemo. Still ever such the dominant figure in your relationship, he instructed you to wait in the guest room you had been lent while he approached the Baron. 
Amazingly, you didn’t have to wait long. Within moments, your heart was dropping as the door to the room was pushed open by Bucky. Zemo followed swiftly behind with an unreadable expression.
Both men stopped at the foot of the bed, right in front of you. You looked up at them, curiously.
“So - So did you explain…”
“James did enlighten me with your...desires,” Zemo said, a little smirk playing on his lips. “I must say, dear. You are quite the little minx.”
Your jaw went slack at his words, unsure of what to say. Only Bucky liked calling you that. But you certainly didn’t hate it rolling off Zemo’s tongue like that. 
“Maybe you should cool it with the pet names,” Bucky snapped. 
Zemo glanced at him. “I don’t know, James, she seems to enjoy it.”
You clenched your thighs, unable to deny it. Bucky didn’t miss that little movement but chose to not acknowledge it. 
“I’m taking the lead here and if I say no pet names then there are no pet names,” Bucky said, his voice slow and serious as he stared down Zemo. “Got it?” You couldn’t believe the sight in front of you. Nothing had even explicitly happened yet and there was already a puddle forming in your panties. 
“Very well,” Zemo eventually agreed. Slowly, right in front of you, he began removing articles of his clothing. This was happening. “How would you like me then?”
“I-,”
Bucky cut you off. “When you’re done, undress her.” Zemo didn’t say anything but just nodded, stripping down until he was in all his bare glory right in front of you. You tried to not stare, focusing instead strictly on his face which held the tiniest smirk, as he began teasingly running his hands under the fabric of your shirt. 
You couldn’t believe how hot you were finding this. Your control was pretty much gone, all solely in the trust of Bucky and Zemo. A diabolical pair. You obeyed when Zemo motioned for you to lift your arms. Within no time, you were totally open and bare in front of the men. 
Zemo’s hand lingered on your face, stroking your cheek softly. You gasped at the motions. He came close to running his thumb along your lips but then Bucky spoke up, “Enough. Lay her down.” 
Zemo didn’t waste another second pushing you back onto the bed. He was crawling on top of you in no time, not waiting for another command before capturing your lips with his. It felt like a brand new world. His movements in the kiss, deep and powerful, were so unlike Bucky’s. Bucky’s had meaning, years of love behind them. There was nothing like that with Zemo, just the understanding of what you’re here to do. It took your breath away. 
Bucky scoffed when you two pulled apart. “I’ll let that slide for now. Start warming her up, touch her. It won’t take much, though. Can already see she’s dripping onto the sheets.”
Your cheeks burned at the borderline degrading words from your boyfriend but Zemo didn’t look phased. Instead, while one hand was planted next to your head, his other began running up and down you. His fingers were so light and teasing. They ran over your breast, pulling lightly at your skin, earning a surprised gasp from you. Zemo looked quite pleased with himself as he continued, his hand now making its way lower on your body. He stopped just above the apex of your thighs, hovering temptingly.
“Touch her,” Bucky commanded, his voice strained and...needy? You didn’t have much time to think too hard about it before Zemo was plunging two fingers right into your core, the wetness allowing the easiest of access. You cried out in surprise earning a low chuckle from Zemo. He seemed quite amused by how vocal you could be.
“Feel good?” He asked, mockingly. His fingers curled within you as they pumped in and out, your walls clenching around them desperately. You nodded weakly. 
Bucky groaned. “Touch her clit. Now.”
Zemo happily complied. The palm of his hand began pressing against your clit with every thrust, forcefully. At one point, he stilled his fingers in you, giving your clit his full, undivided attention. You yelped, twisting at the overwhelming sensation of the fingering and circling. 
Pleasure was running through you at an almost unbearing amount. It all escalated when your head lolled to the side and your eyes fell on Bucky. He was leaning against the wall across from the bed, hands fisted at his side, erection clearly pressing against the fabric of his pants. His gaze was hard, his pupils wide. He was watching so intensely yet with just the littlest hint of wonder. It hit you - Bucky was starting to actually enjoy this.
Zemo, on the other hand, wasn’t happy he lost your attention. A rough hand came up to your neck, forcing you to look back at him. He roughly pressed his forehead to yours, not letting your eyes wander even in the slightest. All you could do was stare back at his eyes while he fucked you relentlessly with his fingers. 
“Eyes on me,” Zemo gritted. 
“Watch yourself, Zemo,” Bucky snapped back.
Zemo’s grip on your neck got tighter and you were done for. That fucker really knew your weak points. The fingering was skilled but the grip on your throat... your body couldn’t take it all. You yelled out as your orgasm ran through you, your body jerking in response to it all. Zemo didn’t lighten anything up, though, forcing you to take it all until you were practically clawing at him, begging to stop. 
“That’s enough,” Bucky shouted. Zemo gave a dangerous chuckle before removing his fingers, licking each one as if they were a meal to be savored. But Bucky wasn’t close to being intimidated by the other man as he continued his commands, “I’d fuck her now if I were you. She’s getting antsy.”
“I think she’s always antsy,” Zemo sneered. “Maybe I want to make her wait a bit longer. Make her really cherish it.”
Your eyes were still forcefully locked on Zemo until Bucky stomped towards the bed and grabbed the man by the back of his neck, hoisting him away from you. His hand left your throat unwillingly. 
In a chilling tone you don’t think you ever heard from Bucky before, he whispered in Zemo’s ear, “I’m making the calls, Zemo, remember? You’re obeying me. If I say fuck her, then you fuck her.” He pushed the man back down, his head falling to the crook of your neck. When he regained his strength, Zemo pulled away to look at you. An unsettling smile played on his lips.
“As you wish,” he muttered and, in one swift, he entered you. Fully. No true warning. You gasped in utter shock at the boldness. You hadn’t expected it to take a moment or two for you to adjust to him. He was different from what you were used to with Bucky. Bucky had the length, but Zemo had the girth. He was stretching you in a whole new way and once you were past the shock, you soaked in all of it. 
Zemo just halted inside you, waiting for you to face him. You hadn’t even realized your eyes had closed until you were being forced to reopen them. Once you gave a little nod - your way of begging at this point - Zemo began moving in and out. His pace was strong, so determined.
He must’ve seemed like a man deprived because Bucky barked out, “Slower. Now you can let her wait for it. Let her feel it. She gets so needy sometimes she just has to be taught some patience.”
Reluctantly, Zemo complied, slowing his motions. You couldn’t even imagine the power-high Bucky must’ve been on at that moment. But you didn’t have much time to think about it as Zemo began dragging his full length out of you and reentering slowly, just as instructed. You moaned loudly as the pleasure built. 
“You like that? Huh? Sure sounds like it,” Zemo grunted in your ear. “You make the prettiest little noises.”
Your eyes fluttered shut once more as you weakly nodded. But your chance to get lost in the sensations was interrupted by Bucky. Suddenly, he was at the side of the bed, his metal hand coming around your neck and turning your head to face him now. 
“Use your words, doll,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving your worn-out expression. Your body jolted with each of Zemo’s thrusts. Bucky paid no mind to the other man, keeping his focus on you and continuing, “Tell him how you’re feeling. It feels good, doesn’t it? Do you like having another man fuck you while I watch? I gotta admit, when you first brought it up I was hesitant but you’re right. There is something about knowing what you need. What makes your little pussy all fucking wet. He may be on top of you but I’m the one controlling your pleasure. You scream for me.”
“Yes, Bucky, yes” was all you could chant as everything began boiling up inside you. 
Here you were screaming one man’s name while the other pounded you. There was the hand on your throat - the metal hand. Zemo taking his sweet time delivering his thrusts. The little pressure on your clit every time he’d push in you. Both of the men were only paying attention to you… It was so much at once yet exactly what you needed. Within seconds of Bucky finishing his little monologue, you were cumming hard around Zemo’s cock. It must’ve triggered something in Zemo as well because he wasn’t that far behind. 
“Faster,” Bucky suddenly demanded. “Until she can’t take it anymore.” 
Zemo sure wasn't hesitating on this one. You felt him fill you fully while his thrusts didn’t falter. He was making sure you two were fucked good. You clawed at Bucky’s arm, wanting something to hold onto as you rode out the orgasm. He kept his grip on your throat tight and careful, watching you with those overwhelming eyes as you came on another man’s cock. 
After a couple more weak thrusts, Zemo gave a final strong one before pulling out of you completely, making you whimper. Zemo gave you a soft smile before placing a kiss on your forehead. Once calmed down, he turned his serious self once again and began reclaiming his clothing items. You couldn’t believe how he could just turn it all on and off with a flip of a switch as if you weren’t lying on the bed fucked out mostly because of him. But that was what you had felt from him. It was all just about finding pleasure. And you both were successful.
Bucky didn’t pay any attention to the other man’s actions. He was still locked on you. His hand had left your throat now and was now caressing your cheek. You giggled at the softness, such a stark contrast to just moments before. 
Fully dressed now, Zemo cleared his throat, pulling you and Bucky’s attention away from one another. You glanced over at the man. He nodded to you both. “Thank you for the...invitation,” Zemo said. “Better than I could’ve ever imagined.” With that, he promptly exited as powerful and bold as he had entered. 
You were alone with Bucky now, unsure of what to actually say. 
“Did you enjoy yourself, doll?” Bucky eventually broke the silence. “Better than you could’ve ever imagined?”
You playfully rolled your eyes. His little tinge of jealousy was coming back despite being thoroughly turned on. Which reminded you… 
“I did enjoy myself,” you confirmed. “But I think I could have just a little bit more fun.” Regaining your strength, you shifted to a kneeling position on the bed. Your hand began creeping its way up Bucky’s jean-covered thigh to where his erection was still being strained against the material.
Bucky let out a low chuckle as your hand pressed over his covered cock. “You just don’t know when to quit, huh? My insatiable little girl.”
You blushed. “I just want to make sure you enjoyed yourself.”
“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea.”
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