eugorilla - Tumblr blog

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"This black hole inside me is killing me, I am dying.. my will not so alive in me, but I'm trying."

It's tearing me apart at the heart like a big, blackened star at the backend of space, OH just to see the look on your face - eugorilla

5 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"I remember that, yeah.. no hell yeah but a big ass red flag, being called a fag, dumb fuck, shit like that. Beat, battered, bruised, called a loser.. confused, truth it needs to be hushed inside of me so deeply. End the hurt, a splash of blood upon the wall, crawling with tears falling from my jaw.. screaming, complaining of a hard ache in my soul with no draining, shaming me into silence. All this senseless violence in my life, these tears in my life and all this misery underneath a sky that I ask why every single day.. hoping that they would pay, driving me insane my brain a jellied mess in fits, a test no rest for the wicked with my head on my chest.. I feel like I am just so fucking busted from many horrible dreams, and I just want this to hush so deep within me."

Abuse is never a good thing and if you went through this hell too, I feel for you - eugorilla

0 notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

Full of night paragon with a pale hunger in his cold stomach for human blood, he went on the search for a victim - eugorilla

2 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Tearing flesh from sinew, sinew from bone, leaving my black heart amongst my bones all alone with no home.. no meat, dead like the 3 am streets, pink flesh detested as it makes me sick to be molested by my own spit. Rip the skin from my life as I sin on fire, the heart of a thief and the rotting tongue of a liar.. higher yet, higher still, mires of lag as my heart wags a bit and sags like my balls below my dick. I was tricked into this hollow life, now mesmerized by living it as I die.. dripping wet with blood but don't fret about nothing but love, rub one out son cause your love life is done. Exnayed, flayed, and betrayed as your soul lights the night away like the fires of desire.. higher we go into the throes of sin and abandoned control, go, go, go, hoe, go, you have a home no mo so don't explode, kk? They say the suns rays can heel but I feel that it's been steeled from me, killed the oxygen in my lungs while I'm becoming the gun behind a blunt dummy smoking a blount and drinking whisky as it drips from my lips, all bliss lost, and my flesh rots as I rip it off like dead spots at all costs as the blood drip drops.."

Kill me now, kill me forever.. peel the skin on my arms and cut my wrists, leave my black soul charred and scarred while I live my life in the dark on these starless nights, these are the hardest nights of living death bitch - eugorilla

4 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Deep, dark secrets hide by those who seek a deeper truth in the eyes of the imbued.. I find that I would die before being blinded by those few."

They look for mistakes we make so they can pick us apart when they should be looking a bit deeper into their heart - eugorilla

10 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Crash and burn, I never learn, but why are you so concerned with what I do?? Who are you?? Who the fuck are you anyways?? You must be crazy to think that I'd ever make it in this life, I'm like bad mayonnaise.. I never get praise, I'm called lazy and lame, gay, stupid, and it dismays me cause so many other fuck ass losers get play. And I'm not allowed to hate?? Shame on me seven times seven with a knife in my gut at seven eleven, right? Why is this life so hard?? It isn't right.. why did I lose my wife?? That night I felt like I lost my life, sight seen might be better behind me but I assure you it's quite unclean cause that is where my brown eye dies when I take a big shit, I hate this shit, just erase me and it.. I want to quit, my brains about to pop like an angry zit. I feel as if the world spits in my face and I can taste it, I hate it, this is lame shit and I'm ashamed of it.. why can't I quit?? I'm dumb, I want love and I'm the only one in life who will never have none, I'm a fuckin bum.. I want to be done and unconcerned with it all, I'm here calling out to you.. what the fuck do I do?? Who am I?? Can I succeed or is it all a big lie?? Why?? Why do we have to live with the knowledge that we are pieces of shit not worth spit, and why the god damn must I be here having a coniption fit? I want success, a life I can be proud of but there's always a big ass test at the end of it.. why am I here?? Am I here to die and if so, why?? Why must I live to die so painfully after living a life I have just lived so disdainfully.. with all these people in the world filled with hate, they hate me. Fate is a bitch and you treat her like she is great when all she has ever done was take things away from me, look me in the eye and say it.. I'll never be great so this life I am just here in it wasting it away, and I'm not lying. I'm just here trying but it's so hard, all of it.. I feel like a retard, and why all these scars?? I dunno, I just think this life is hard, you know? I got to go now but think on it a lot, alright, I'll see you later.. peace god."

Life is just hard, you know? All of this stuff goes unanswered by anyone and we just bumble through it, but you know what? Just fight through the weak times and munch on this bitch ass life like you are punching some rhymes.. goodnight, but remember one little thing.. you can make it, you can be happy, all you have to do is try. At least that's what god told me - eugorilla

9 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"If you covet a hot body, naughty or not, you will rot at the pits of a curse worse than death and it will totally annoy you with paranoia, boy ya should be looking for cooking their flesh in din din time rites, right? Stab em in the gut, the butt, and the fucking eye and kill em quick, THEN you ride em tight with your dick hahaha, I'm just kidding.. this shit is siiiick!!"

Nah,the first part is right - eugorilla

4 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"There's fires in my veins hotter than any hell to date, pain in plethora, an unbeatable game that drives me insane.. demonic? Haha nope, I don't need to be when I'm beyond even the demon Queen.. an internal scream that bleeds from my heart as all of these stars seem to fall out of my mouth and scars. I could scream and shout, yell and tell of these tales of mine scarred within my soul.. I can be cold, damn cold that's damned by the pools of Hades by heaven's gates with nobody to save me. I got rabies feeding my anger like cockroach baby, toxic pedigree.. and I'm pretty sure that not a soul even likes me or better yet, even touch me.. on the out or even the inside, not sure exactly but maybe it's cause I want to be Jekyll and I'm always fucking Hyde, but hey.. I'm still alive, right?"

Bellows from the rickety gallows of my soul pool into the abyss like liquid cold as the hot mold rots my soul like an endless fool - eugorilla

1 note · View note

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Blood drips from my lips after I taste your neck with my fangs, and thinking of sex.. ripping through us like a hail of bats, we erupt in a cascading dance where the bed is in our dance floor and we were being trapped. My body is cold like steel, smooth, you are a hot, tender body and you have no clue.. you, mesmerized by my cloak of mystery succumb to my shove to the bed where it feels as if you have bounced on a cloud. The sound of your heart drowns it all out and I pounce to make this bed a bath of blood.. for that is the only thing that I will ever truly love, it's taste is my fate and yours as I slowly take your grace and drain you with my teeth."

If it is ghoulish terror and darkness that you seek, just click here and read this story that I just started - eugorilla, the story is messed up..

17 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"I find that my mind won't let me step away, but I do it anyways.. a little of this, a little of that. Trapped in an endless cycle of my life's version of a rat trap, all my energy sapped.. I think the end is getting closer, cause I am a loser. Never known me to romance a noose, but now it seems super.. cause I'm a loser."

Sometimes though, total loser - eugorilla

2 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Note

keep on livin’ and breathing and lovin’? if not for you, but for people like me, who smile knowing that your presence still graces this world every day..

Why would you care? I mean, thank you but I'm just some loser out here in the world that writes about love non stop.. nobody gives a shit about me.

But yeah, I'm trying.. I have this stoopid dream of spreading love all over the world and I am failing miserably. I'm a failure but I'll keep trying..

I don't feel like I make anyone smile.. no one cares. I don't have anyone. I haven't gotten a text from a human in 2 months and my best friends are people that I tell to have a good day when I walk by them.

Hahahaha, I'm worthless.. but I'm glad you smile. That warms my heart.. hope you have a good night - eugorilla

3 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Some days are harder than others, each minute like my heart stutters and I turn down the shutters.. I have no mom, no pops, and no brothers. Not a single family left, they were all too deaf period, it was scary when I left but as it stands I don't even have any friends.. not a soul to talk with, no extra lips to wine sip.. I have nobody who makes me smile, just empty nights crying on the tile. But it's ok, cause I need nobody.. I know you all see me as a nobody, scummy me always writing about love when I can't get none. I'm fine, give me a minute.. I only get one try at this life and I want to live it right, but when night comes.. so does the curse, it gets worse and worse as if I will burst into flames for even having a name when I should be in chains. I have no home but an eight by eight prison cell, all alone all the time deep in my own personal hell and damn.. did my neighbor die cause I can't stand the smell, if he didn't then I wonder why not. This place will rot you to the core on the spot only to do it more and more.. but I'm a whore for pain, I guess even thought I don't want it, and to top it all off this place is haunted. 127 have died here in 7 years and everyone cries here. We are despised by society, but that doesn't surprise me.. and all I truly want in life is to be happy and spread the smiles on like peanut butter on bread. This place plays with my head, the space that complains that I'm alive when it wants me dead.. it's ok though cause part of me is covered by a Halo, so so blessed by the supreme payload. Hey, no.. where'd my day go?? As I try to stop smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, gone with the meat and dairy here.. it's scary in the projects for most, but me.. I walk around all streets at night and nothing happens to me except I meet a lot of people who are nice to me, but only cause they want something. And I'm nice 95% of the time, the other 5 I'm wishing that I would die by the end of the night.. the bridge has a great view, careful not to slip off the edge cause I would get real wet real quick and I might even meet the mistress death. But I'm ok, I am or why would I say it.. my life isn't worth spit, shit, or the splashes when my slit wrists begin to drip. I'm a ghost, a host to the most evil and good. I could never be understood, but I can be stood on like a human doormat made of the stuff that needs hazmat.. I need not a soul, my wings are made of coals, my horns made of a crystal ball full of rules. I'm ok, truly I am.. it's just my life that I can't stand, cause the master plan is damned if it do, damned if it don't.. and that is why my soul seems to have broke, so broken, hope?? You must be joking.."

My life sucks some days, you'd be amazed if you saw how the suns rays follow me while my eyes blaze away as I'm filled with numb and it feeds my pain - eugorilla

6 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

Kill me now and let me die before your eyes..

"Black lipstick and pretty nails red with blood from scratching my back, should I die in this moment, I know that you might have me for a snack.. you are kind of ruthless like that, a snake that slithers under my skin and makes me feel trapped. But I love you, there's no hot sins brought up in my mind that I've got for a demonic devil like you.. but should you make me feel your hate, I would be he who shames you with lame brews of truth when I bite you straight through this kissing booth. Fuck you for loving me with your hate and smashing me with all of your might, death, bleed, shit, dead, needs, tricked, red, meat, spit.. I had a reason to write all this but now I forgot it on the ill spiel of drilling you with my true grit, shit.. I forget it all as I fall for you and slit my wrists in this darkness of you, black sky, on the morrow, I wish to die. Then again, I may have to have been alive in the first place, oh how I wish that I wasn't right.. please baby, kill me tonight cause I wish to die."

Kill me with your knife like nails, dig in, dine of my flesh that you detest cause I'm a huge wreck, a mess, depressed in this introspect, kiss me with your death - eugorilla

6 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"I see through the dark, seeing a future with no spark, no me.. as dark as the darkest dark night with not stars, this is not fantasy. One day deaths ambassadors will come haunting me and if I don't change my ways, they won't say a thing.. thirsty on their lips will sit the biggest blackest hole, and they will swallow me hollow, whole until they are far into my soul."

No matter what we do, the universe listens and she knows everything, it's time for me to change or I will know nothing but pain.. she is love infinite, but she is also everything and that bitch is deranged, just saying - eugorilla

4 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"Shadow-like shotgun shells tear through my mind like shredded souls from hell, mailed in blood, what fun, am I alive?? I can't even tell, opened up wide inside like sails of failure on a ship of death and life, on sight I bite on my speckled soul like my eyes tonight on fire by coals.. dying a bit each and every time, sly is night as she slips in with her might, it isn't a thing of finite, hollow life lies within it. Sin, it drips from lips that never stop, don't finish, it won't quit it.. I'm up in the fucking shit, souls a ripping just listen to the darkness in it. Slip a knife in wrists but the door is locked, don't see a clinic in my future, oh now you get it. I want to die sometimes but shit isn't right, no way to be one of the winning.. no grinning til the earth is spinning, she tells me she wants me finished but I'm famished outlandish red by blood that keeps me living but dead. Don't sip any devil's punch or lunch will come back up like Adam, you may find it random but I'm not a fucking part of fandom.. the hands of sand I drown in land near my heart and grind it up like broken glass from ions of pain are brought in and laid upon me to greet me, they eat me, I beseech you to think before you break those rules and choose to do those evil things. Did you know that love can turn to hate before it flows through your veins?? This is not a lost dream, this is everything that you mean on the line of life as you scream internally.. stick with the light or the darkness will eat you in everything as it screams darkness at a heart that truly wants love. Beneath it all sits a star in grips and rips of hate that sit in your hellish heart but it wishes of love.. go with love and I wish you so much luck, cause love is hard to keep when fucking up is all that you are. But that doesn't fix a bleeding heart until we fucking change, no, this life doesn't repay deranged without making you pay.."

When you make a choice deliberately when you figure out it is wrong, well, when night falls, it haunts you like a graveyard of pain - eugorilla

2 notes · View notes

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"I'm never going to succeed cause of these punk deeds, luck needs to get lost cause I need to go get sloshed like a boss.. it's so nice to be hyped and treated like a dog, not just any dog but a stinky wet dog. Nice, it's sweet to know you have honed your skills at being a douche, pussy just like your lips, loose and smelling like poop.. it's funny, the bells in my head warn me to stay course in my coarse thinking. They don't deter, they mimick hateful words.. I know it's absurd but I think I'd be better off 6 ft under the dirt. Word.."

Your manipulations make me want to die or get high cause they are so full of hate, can't you relate? You do it to me so surely you must know how it feels, it's not what you are doing that bugs me.. it's the lies that hide them - eUë

1 note · View note

eugorilla · 4 years

Text

"The world secretly judges behind eyes that lie, a wealth of wells of lies hide just inside.."

That's why we shouldn't care who judges us, cause they are just as messed up as us but they are high and mighty and think that they matter more than you.. which they don't, we were all created equal. We come into and out of this world with nothing but our soul, make sure yours isn't foggy cause when you judge others, it's a long fucking way down from that pedestal you put yourself on - eUë

1 note · View note