#self deprecation

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

#fatima aamer bilal #i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time #i mother it the absence of her #poetry #literature #poeticstories #art #book quotations #poetry collection #web weaving #words words words #writings #yearning #longing #parent issues #bts #self deprecation #taylor swift #franz kafka #sylvia plath #lana del rey #mahmoud darwish #jane austen #dark academia #dark poetry #pheobe bridgers #mitski #lit #abandoment issues #fantasy

[whumpster-dumpster]

"Honestly, you couldn't have picked anyone worse to ransom. Everybody knows I'm the throwaway. Expendable."

#whump #whump prompt #writing prompt #ransom #self deprecation #dialogue prompt

[jiangshinigami]

I'm a terrible person

thought of "femboy milking idle game" and I had to make my brain to shut up

#196 #self deprecation #hornyposting #is this hornyposting?

[niabridges]

Lowkey cringing. Brainrot.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #Hogwarts humor #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow x mc #dump meme #self deprecation

[blackcherryvelvet0909]

Beach Body (Idia x GN!Reader)

Content Warning: Body insecurity, mild angst, self-esteem issues, self-deprecation (Idia)

A single speck of black was visible on the sandy beach. It sat alone, highlighted by wisps of fiery blue hair that peeked out from under its hood. The legs that curled up before the speck, tucked under its chin, were paler than the sand, as white as a sand dollar. The umbrella high above the speck was the only thing to shade it from the harsh, hot rays of the sun. It cowered away from them, as if it wished to disappear from the scene altogether. That assumption was correct - Idia would rather be elsewhere. 

The only reason the man was not back in the safety of his hotel room was the robot boy that played among the waves. Idia had made that waterproof body of his for the trip, so he could play with his peers like any other kid. Idia thought that would be enough; he could simply watch Ortho play from the balcony of their condo. Ortho had other plans, however. There was nothing the boy wanted more than to have his beloved brother with him out on the beach. He said it would be fun to make such memories with him. Though Idia silently disagreed, there was no way he could refuse those pleading eyes. 

So, here he was, sat alone on the beach while Ortho had fun. The boy would come check on him once in a while, try to coax him out into the sea to play with him, or to play in the sand. The only successful attempt had occurred two days ago, when the sandcastle building contest took place. To think Idia thought they actually had a chance at winning - laughable. It was bad enough that they weren't allowed to use magic; when Idia was asked to hand over his tech, and Ortho was told he couldn’t use any tricks of his own, Idia knew they were goners. They came in dead last that day. Ortho had fun, but never again would Idia expose himself to such humiliation. 

The black hoodie that covered his torso sweltered in the heat, but it was the best Idia had to cover up with. You won’t catch him frolicking about like some oblivious loser in a beach episode. That sunny spotlight was for the main characters, the hot NPCs - Idia was neither. He hated this so much…he let out a long sigh as he draped his arms over his knees and rested his chin atop them as he continued to watch Ortho. He cracked a little smile as he heard Ortho squealed in delight when Epel splashed him with water. Well, at least one thing he did was worth something. 

“Idia?” 

Idia flinched at the sudden sound of his name. He whipped his head around to look up at the person addressing him: [Y/n]. “W-What?” 

You pointed to his hoodie. “Aren’t you burning up in that thing?” 

Idia glanced to the side as he lied, “No.” 

“I can clearly see the sweat dripping off your face.” You tugged on his sleeve. “C’mon, you’ll burn up if you don’t!” 

“No!” Idia tugged the hoodie closer to his body. He glared down at the towel he sat on as he grumbled. “Geez, can’t a guy get some peace?” 

You furrowed your eyebrows at his sour attitude. “Are you still upset about the sandcastle contest?” 

“I’m not upset,” he mumbled. Another obvious lie. 

“Don’t be mad - ignore Leona and his bullshit.” You knelt down to look Idia in the eye. “He was just trying to get a rise out of you. You did a lot better than I would have.” 

Idia clicked his tongue as he scoffed. “You can make something worse than a pile of sand?” 

“It wasn’t a pile of sand,” you chuckled. “It was a cute little house! Ortho told me you came up with it; it’s the one from ‘Miko Doesn’t Talk’, right?” 

Idia’s eyebrows lifted, surprised you knew of the show. “Y-You like it?” 

“The anime? Yeah, I think it’s cute! I’ve only just started watching it though, so I can’t say much about it.” 

Idia let out a quiet giggle, “Noob - haven’t even seen a show that beginner grade.” 

It was your turn to scoff, though a smirk accompanied yours. “Well, if someone would come out of their room and talk to me more often, maybe I wouldn’t be such a noob.” 

Idia had nothing to say to that - he just rolled his eyes and looked back out at the sea. Ortho had come closer to shore, he and Deuce now looking for seashells. Baby games…but Idia thought it was cute how Ortho wanted to make them matching shell bracelets. He then saw you move out of the corner of his eye, a water bottle slowly coming into his line of sight. He looked back in your direction with a confused expression. 

“Here,” you said as you lifted the bottle closer to him. “I came to give you this. If you really have to keep on the hoodie, you need to drink more water.” 

“Water’s for normies,” he mused. 

“And heat stroke via stubbornness is for losers,” you retorted. 

Well, you had a point. Idia hated plain water, but he was thirsty. So, with an overdramatically annoyed sound, he took the plastic bottle from you. His fingers brushed against yours as he grasped the bottle; he quickly pulled away and looked down before you could see the pink of his cheeks. “Thanks…” 

“No problem.” Your smile was as bright as the sparkles that came with an SSR card pull. The swimsuit you wore made you look like the love interest in an otome game…why did Idia have to be like this? Before his thoughts could get too carried away, you broke Idia out as you spoke again. “Why are you wearing that anyway? It’s not even that windy today, and it’s not going to rain either. You don’t need it.” 

“You don’t need it,” Idia mocked in a voice that exaggerated yours. He scoffed again as he continued, “What do you want me to do, huh? Take it off and get laughed at by everyone?” He sipped his water sharply before he mumbled under his breath, “It’s not like I’m a protagonist with abs.” 

You furrowed your brow, “Epel doesn’t have abs, neither do Deuce or Ace, and they’re out without a shirt.” 

“They don’t look like a dweeb,” Idia grumbled as he took another swig of his water. 

“You do not look like a dweeb,” you said as you gently elbowed his side. 

Idia smirked again as he chuckled. “What do you have, x-ray vision? How do you know?” 

“I don’t,” you admitted, “but you’re not bad looking, Idia.” Idia glanced back your way as you finished your thought. “I’ve always thought you looked pretty cute.” 

Cute cute you called him cute aaaaahhh!!! 

‘Calm down Idia,’ Idia told himself. ‘You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re cool, you’re fine. Be cool, be…be cool.’ 

Idia managed a grin as he leaned a little closer. “C-Cute, huh?” He mentally called himself dumb for the stammer. “Like what, a puppy?” 

“No, not a puppy,” you laughed. “That’s more of Jack than anything.” Idia held back a laugh of his own as he saw Jack’s ears perk up in the distance. It nearly slipped when the beastman looked in your direction with a look between surprise and puzzled on his face. “I think…hmm…” You thought it over for a bit; honestly, Idia was afraid of what you might say. When you finally did speak, he was nowhere near prepared for what you said. 

“You remind me of the cute loner best friend the main character ends up with in a romantic comedy.”

Idia’s mind ran a mile a minute as he processed your words. Him, cute guy? Love interest in a romantic comedy? What? Good thing his hoodie hid his face when he looked down, or you’d see just how blushy he was. He barely registered the words that came out of his mouth in his flustered state. “Are you the main character?” he mumbled. 

“Huh?” you asked. “What did you say?” 

Idia quickly regained himself, though clumsily. “I, I, u-uh, nothing!” For the first time since he’d gotten to the beach, Idia scrambled up from his spot on the ground. “I-I just remembered I forgot, um…O-Ortho’s bag! Need that if he’s going to collect shells.” He was sweating more now than he ever had before. “I-I’ll see you later!” 

Never did anyone know that Idia Shroud could run that fast. Idia felt ridiculous, honestly - like some anime school girl that just got rejected by her crush. You hadn’t rejected him, but you surely would have laughed if you heard what he said. C’mon, you? With him? Laughable. You’d likely end up with one of the main guys, like Malleus, or Vil, or Leona.

It’d never be with him…never. Idia felt a lump form in his stomach as he slowed down. As his shoes clumped along the wooden walkway that led to and from the beach’s entrance, he tugged his hood further over his head. He could see his once blue hair was now a flaming bright pink. He groaned as he rolled his eyes to the sky, so very frustrated with himself. He told himself to be cool…when was he ever. 

“Get an actual beach body and maybe you could have a shot with the main character,” Idia grumbled to himself as he walked along. 

Hopefully you didn’t notice Ortho’s bag on the beach towel where he’d left it. 

#Twisted Wonderland: Beach Episode Mini Series #my work #twisted wonderland #idia shroud #twst idia #twst idia x reader #idia shroud x reader #mild angst #body insecurities #gender neutral reader #ortho shroud #twst ortho #crushes #self deprecation

[askcometcare]

#sparklecare #cometcare au #ask blog #tella fortune #arc:weirdwideweb #self deprecation #nihilism #ask to tag #please lmk if you need this tagged a certain way im not sure how to tag it #chloe philly

[thebad-lydrawn-sanses]

Cross seems very serious, does he ever let up sometimes? Are there any moments of him being more bubbly?

Ps, can I get a hug from horror? I feel like he’d give the best bear hug EVER!!!

Cross: I'm not serious. I'm numb. My universe's friends and family are dead. I don't know how to contact my old friend(s). Everything I ever knew is gone and it's been an absolute wreck trying to adjust to the new norm. Cross: …and now I can't even make a short walk, or shower, or stand for long- leaping and running is out of the question, something I used to be able to do like second nature. My whole right side hurts, and it randomly gets worse for no reasons. Cross: I can't even look at art supplies without flinching and feeling- bad? Like I'm- I don't know. It's stupid and frustrating. Cross: It was bad before, but it only used to be paint brushes and paints. Now it's paper and crayons and pencils and anything that can be used to draw. Cross: …i can't even get off this stupid floor. my leg hurts too much Cross: (..i don't want to go back to bandages everywhere, but it hurts.)

(Cross laughing a bit [amused] here)

(Cross being in a neutral mood [getting a gift] here)

(Cross in a happy/joking mood here)

#cross sans #horror sans #injury #<- actually scars but they look like wounds #scars #death #grief #mourning #trauma #disability #disabled character #chronic pain #self deprecation #heavy topics #mental health #food #<- for the record these are so people can filter them out if needed #mysterious door that wasn't open before (last image) #you fit in the palm of his hand so it's not really a hug hjfksdhk (last image) #queue

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: I love you. Jace: You shouldn’t. Clary, pulling up a finger to Jace’s lips: Shut up and ACCEPT MY LOVE, BASTARD.

#incorrect shadowhunters quotes #clary fairchild #jace herondale #clace #the mortal instruments #self deprecation

[a-study-in-bullshit]

#webweaving #web weaving #self hatred #self deprecation #on the loss of self worth #on self #im sorry

[liesmultixxx]

Me: *talks about my feelings*

Mom: 😐

Me, remembering: Oh yeah sorry i forgot that we don’t talk about our feelings in this household😄My bad

#personal #vent #vent post #sorry for ranting #rant #complicated household #we repress our feelings #only way to survive here #mommy issues #daddy issues #all of us need therapy #self deprecating humor #self deprecation #memes #meme #funny #my attempt at a joke #my attempt at being funny #lol

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’

[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]

#fatima aamer bilal #we were put on this earth desperate hungry and willing #poetry #literature #yearning #poeticstories #book quotations #longing #quotes #self loathing #self deprecation #poetry collection #dark academia #franz kafka #art #bts #sylvia plath #lana del rey #pheobe bridgers #hozier #mitski #web weave #typography #fantasy #taylor swift #parent issues #poem #prose #lit #mahmoud darwish

[agoodpairofsocks]

Someone: You keep being hard on yourself and then deflecting concern with stupid jokes.

Me: haha you said "hard on"

#lol #self deprecation #jokes #funny #therapy #mental health #incorrect quotes #i guess

[tildeathiwillwrite]

Whumpril Day 8, Day 16

Bloodshot, Coughing Fit

Whumpril Prompts List

TW: coughing, sickness, pneumonia, self-deprecation

Whumpee could feel the cough rising in their chest, the unbearable tickling, burning sensation in their throat as they held it back. Caretaker was asleep nearby; Whumpee didn’t want to wake them. Unfortunately, they could only keep the cough back for so long.

Whumpee cleared their throat, trying to soothe the burning. It didn’t work. What started as a simple grunt snowballed into a cough, and another, and another. And another. Whumpee’s chest spasmed as their lungs tried desperately to expel the sickness. They covered their mouth, but it didn’t do anything to stop the coughing or muffle the noise.

Eventually, the fit subsided. Whumpee’s throat burned even more from the force of their coughing, and the sound trailed off into a quiet sob.

“Whumpee…? Are you okay?”

Whumpee exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I’m okay, Caretaker, go back to sleep.”

Caretaker was silent for a few moments before sitting up. Whumpee could see their eyes were bloodshot from many nights of little sleep spent caring for Whumpee. “I’ll get you some water,” they said, rising to their feet.

“Nonono, it’s fine…” Whumpee weakly protested, but Caretaker ignored them and left the room.

Whumpee slumped. Stupid pneumonia. Stupid cough. Stupid me for getting sick.

@fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds @pigeonwhumps @whumpril

#whump #whump writing #my writing #sickfic #sickness #illness #pneumonia #whumpril2024 #whumprilday8 #whumprilday16 #blood shot #coughing fit #self deprecation #whumpee #caretaker #stubborn whumpee #exhaustion

[niabridges]

hello...it me 👉👈 ...your local shitpost dealer, here to supply you with Friday coping mechanisms.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy meme #shitpost #self deprecation #personal

[whumpster-dumpster]

“You’re the strongest person I know.”

“No, I’m not. If I were strong, none of this would have happened.”

#whump #whump prompt #writing prompt #dialogue prompt #angst #self doubt #self deprecation #shame

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #54: Bad Night

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: recovery, (past) vampire whumper, sleep deprivation, paranoia, self deprecation, body image issues about scars, past loss of bodily autonomy, begging

Whumpmas in July Day 27: Unstable

another check-in with this guy in his own recovery arc

-

Jim always got worse at night.

In the daytime, it was a little easier. Kane couldn't get to him then, so he didn't have to worry as much. But in the night, Kane could come back for him easily. He hadn't even been far from here when Kane got him the first time, only a few blocks away.

He laid in bed with the lights on and his hands wrapped around the stake, imagining Kane checking each house one-by-one until he finds him- or worse, finds Liz in the same house. Not even needing to enter them to check, knowing him by the familiar smell of his blood. The delicious blood stuck inside Jim's body forever, always marking him as Kane's.

He got out of bed and began to pace, too paranoid to sleep. He still wasn't fully used to sleeping in the night and being awake in the daytime, anyway. It didn't feel natural like it used to.

Jim opened and closed his bedroom door, just to make sure he wasn't locked inside.

It was ridiculous, wasn't it? At Kane's, he lived under a blanket of fear, but it was almost never this intense. Aside from his nightly bites, sharp fangs painfully piercing his neck that he'd gotten used to long ago, Kane had hardly bothered him at all for the last two years. The beatings had tapered off when Jim started behaving.

He was just trapped in the human quarters, and could trust reasonably well that he wouldn't be hurt again until the next night. Always at the same time, always in the same way, stable and predictable. Nothing was predictable now. Kane could come at any moment and make good on his threat, bring him back to a world of pain, and he'd never see it coming.

Jim hated himself for it, but sometimes he wished he were back, that he'd never left. Just so he wouldn't have to be so scared. Since he ran, it felt like every night was a copy of the one he'd spent huddled under a bush in the woods of vampire territory, half-dead and shivering. Like having the thought that he'd give up his freedom for a sip of water just that once had planted a seed in his mind that wouldn't stop growing.

He shook his head, like it could clear the thought from his mind. He didn't want to be back, he didn't. He liked being free. He couldn't stand anything else.

Jim left the suffocating confines of his room and headed to the bathroom to splash water on his face. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, ugly scars emblazoned on his neck, where they would remain for the rest of his life. Liz said they weren't ugly, his friends even helpfully supplied badass, but he knew the truth.

A painful reminder of who his body really belonged to.

He threw a towel over the mirror so the sullen face in it disappeared, heading downstairs with his stake still clutched in one hand.

"Can't sleep?" Liz asked. She was carving something, a hobby she'd apparently gotten into while he'd been away.

"Bad night," he muttered, checking the fridge.

"No drinking on bad nights," she reminded him, a concerned strain darkening her voice, one she only ever seemed to get with him.

Jim wanted to protest that she couldn't make rules for him. He was out, he was free. But he couldn't bring himself to say no. Even though he knew Liz would never hurt him like Kane did, he couldn't get the sinking feeling that accompanied any rule-breaking to go away.

Besides, Liz's rules were reasonable, and she never hurt him for breaking them. He knew she was right, that he probably would have slipped into a worse place without the rules.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He grabbed a distinctly non-alcoholic soda and sat next to her, the table dusted with curls of wood. "What'cha making?"

"A little duck." Liz smiled, turning it around to show a lump of wood with the vague shape of a duck beginning to take form. "Just started it, no judging. You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah." Jim balanced the stake in his elbow and popped the tab, listening to it fizz. Soda always used to be flat by the time it got to him, since they didn't make it in vampire territory and Kane had to order it special whenever he put it on the list. He'd stopped listing it when he realized that vampires must be stealing it from some poor schmucks just trying to work a register and scaring the shit out of them, or worse.

"It'll get better," Liz promised. "You're safe now, it's all uphill from here. I know it sucks."

"Mm-hm." Jim quietly sipped his soda, sweet and crisp. He wondered how his blood tasted when Kane drank it every night. He wondered if it was like this. Kane never left his mind at night anymore, like he was haunted.

Liz shaved another little piece of wood off the duck with her knife. "It'd be good for you to get some more sleep at night, though. You're better awake during the day. You could try going to the doctor for it?"

"No more doctors," he grumbled.

They sat in silence for a moment, aside from the scraping of Liz's blade against the wood.

"You're making that face you do when you're trying to figure out how to say something in the best way to get what you want," Jim noted, unable to keep away a small smile despite his bleak mood and creeping paranoia. "Just say it."

Liz put the duck down. "There's other kinds of doctors. Ones who could help you. Y'know." She tapped the handle of her knife against her head. "Therapy."

The smile vanished from his face. "I don't need therapy. I thought you were just gonna push the sleep stuff again."

"Jim, you were abused." Liz said it with such an air of importance that it almost felt like she was talking about something else entirely, like it hadn't just been his everyday life. "You need help. And I just- I don't know how to help you like that. I hate seeing you hurt like this."

Jim shrugged. "Lots of people get abused."

"It helped me. The hunters put me in therapy when the vampire took you. And then maybe you wouldn't, I don't know, be going on two nights without sleep because you're too afraid it's gonna come back for you," she insisted. "Maybe you could actually start to feel better."

"That does sound better," he admitted, even though it also sounded impossible. "I just dunno if I'm really up for it. The talking about it and shit."

She looked at him incredulously. "You talked about it on television literally three weeks ago."

"That's different! They just wanna know basically what happened." Jim imagined someone asking him how he feels about it, grimacing. "They don't wanna know the really bad parts. They just want good TV. They mostly just wanna talk about the escape." He sighed. "Plus... listen, there aren't any magic words out there some schmuck with a master's degree can say that are gonna make it better. There really aren't."

Liz picked her duck back up. "Just think about it."

"I will," he promised. He could do that at least. Fantasize about a la la land in which some psychological regimen could fix him.

"I saw you've been journaling, though. That's good. Even if you think you can't talk to someone about it, you can just write it for yourself," she added encouragingly.

Jim looked down at his hands. "Oh. Uh, that's not really-" He backed out at the last second. "Yeah. Journaling."

"Okay. You can talk about it when you're ready."

Later that night, Jim went back to his room and pulled his journal out. It wasn't journaling, what he was doing, not really. He wasn't even sure if it was helping or hurting him, but it was more important than that. It was practice.

Kane Master, please please please please please don't break my ankles. I'm sorry I ran. I won't do it again. I've learned my lesson. I won't fight, I'll come back and I'll behave for real this time. I just wanted to go home one last time I'm sorry. Just Please give me one more chance, sir. I'll be perfect this time. It'll be just like before. Whatever you want. Please

He snapped the book shut as the sun rose, some of the fear ebbing away as the light filtered through the window. Maybe now that Kane couldn't get him, just for a little bit, he could sleep.

-

i just wanted to put a disclaimer here that jim calling his scars "ugly" is his own baggage, and something he eventually grows out of. scars are never shameful, and every body is beautiful.

also kane will be in the next chapter, i promise

taglist in reblog!

event: @whumpmasinjuly

#kane and jim #whump #whump writing #vampire whumper #my writing #whumpmasinjuly2023 #wij23day27 #recovery whump #self deprecation