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#self doubt
support · 7 years ago
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Everything Okay?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. 
If you are located in the United States, consider reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine.
If you are located in the United Kingdom, The Mix is here to help you with any challenge you are facing.  Reach out online, on social or through their free and confidential helpline.
If you are reading this from in any other country in Europe,  Mental Health Europe has compiled a list of helplines and other resources in your country. 
For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.
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stillstandinginthisworld · 46 minutes ago
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I'm sorry for everything
I'm sorry I can't help asking people how you're doing since I can't do it directly
I'm sorry that I just can't find it in myself to move on while you find better things
I'm sorry for crying when I see you on their story laughing and having fun
I'm sorry for being scared to even think about reaching out, that decision is yours not mine
I want you to be better for yourself, and god do I wish I could be apart of that so so much but that's not my choice no matter how much I wish it were
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rudranurag · 8 hours ago
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People tell me I'm a kind soul.
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I try to be. I like making people happy, I like coming into a stressful or frightening place and transforming it, putting people at ease, seeing the personality that comes out with their smile.
I believe in compassion. I believe that everyone deserves a chance. I believe that, for the most part, people are good, and if not kind, then at least blind to their own cruelty, and how could I blame a child for a tantrum?
Every so often, when I come across an unkind person, I like to see if I can bring out the good in them: hear them laugh, see them crack a grin, have them share a simple, cherished memory.
I fear that I am not a kind soul, however.
The truth is, I've discovered that I take a great deal of satisfaction in poking my fingers into a person's weakest points and stripping them down into neat, tidy little ribbons of self-doubt, regret and insecurity.
It feels cold. It feels surgical. It feels powerful, until remorse kicks in, and I know that I've hurt somebody.
I know that I am kind, but I worry that I am not a kind person.
I worry that I am kind because the sort of people who prey on kind people are the sort I feel the least regret over peeling open.
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An anglerfish, prey to lure the prey.
So am I good?
I don't know.
But I can be gentle.
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sofastuffing · 11 hours ago
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posted this on the wrong blog again... sigh
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ID. A digital painting of a pair of eyes/eyebrows with a mildly concerned expression. Blue eyes, dark brown eyebrows, light skin with a lot of orange blush. Small squiggles of saturated cyan, magenta, yellow and green, as well as some darker, less saturated blue, are drawn around the eyes to add more contrast and emphasise the shape. The background is a pale blue, and there is a purple signature in the bottom right corner (the word "Sofa" in cursive). END ID.
I meant to post something else a while back but I kept trying to fix some of the details and ended up never posting it because I don't really like how it looks now
So yesterday I tried to draw something without fussing over how "complete" one of my paintings look and just post it when I don't want to work on it anymore, and while I DID go back to add some more details today, I wasn't as perfectionistic about it as I was last time. At least I hope. I let myself post this, at least
Anyway, the drawing- It's one of my ocs (again), his name used to be Hyde but I changed it to Cole. I still don't like it though, so I'm open to suggestions
The version it was last night is under the cut
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ID. The same drawing as above, but without the random squiggles of colour and a white background instead of a blue one. The shading is a lot less defined, and the eyebrows are thinner and darker than in the final version. END ID.
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cozy-corner-system · 17 hours ago
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Me: Oh my god what if I'm faking having OSDD and being a System.....
My alters who I have been aware of for 1-2 years due to multiple tragic events:
My alters that were split for either heavily stressful things or genuine traumatic experiences:
Sebastian, who has literally been around for at least 7-8 years:
My dormant alters from childhood:
My therapist who has basically agreed that I do have distinct parts and OSDD:
Me: I'm such a disgrace. A liar. A fraud. An embarrassment. I should be ashamed of myself.
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therippingtides · 19 hours ago
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What’s your unpopular archetype?
the loyal
it’s a good thing you’re so patient. you know what it’s like to feel the full weight of doubt bearing down in you. for years, it tried to squeeze the life from your lungs. but nothing’s going to make you bow. you kept the candle’s flame alive. you whispered the names at nightfall. the vigil still lives inside of you. one day, the waiting will have been worth it. all your love is going to come home to you. you’re more important than you know. you’re still the one true believer.
personality: calm, level-headed, stubborn // counterpart: the accomplice
Tagged by: @buildabuddha
Tagging: Whoever wants to do this
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epicallychrissy · 20 hours ago
what if i said we already speak and i’m too shy to admit i asked this?
I would ask why you are afraid? Are you worried I would be upset? Since we talk, I hope you would trust me that it wouldn't matter, that I wouldn't be upset.
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galaxyghost89 · a day ago
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A lazy drawing that I did yesterday. Not that good, but it’s better than nothing. 
I guess I need to deal with the fact tha not everything that I make is going to be perfect. I know it’s not a healthy mindset, but I feel like everything that I make needs to be perfect, and if it’s not perfect than I’m a failure.
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afxckingmess · a day ago
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so. we named our new fidget ring Edith because she sounds like a bitch right?
and then our m*ther said "you're personifying a lot of things"
I asked "what? what things?" I know we do it but I can't remember doing it recently.
her response: "yeah, like your alters"
Host should be so fucking glad I was masking and didn't absolutely rip into her. literally wHAT THE FUCK WOMAN.
Look, perhaps she didn't mean it like that. BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM FEELING LIKE ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHIT. Or y'know, like I'm fake and invalid. BITCH
- Dabi
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fuckvalvelocity · a day ago
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decided to put on ‘girly’ clothes that still somewhat fit my aesthetic and it felt like i was crossdressing and it also felt so very good to take off so uh. guess that confirms that i am indeed trans
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can anyone hear me?
sometimes it feels like i’m a phantom, 
existing on another plane of reality from the rest of the world.
because, 
when i speak,
it’s as though no one hears me.
so i thought...
perhaps i’m not speaking loud enough?
but volume does not matter.
because this dimension eats up all sound,
like a ravenous monster that will only be satisfied when it consumes all my words,
and i no longer exist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-darlingétoile
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eventually--darling · a day ago
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hahaha what if im just straight and have v strong aesthetic attraction ahahahahaha
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halflifethree · a day ago
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i just realized my quiz made me sound evil and rude but i promise i'm not. i promise
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bigskycastle · a day ago
Do you have any tips for choosing colours? I love your work sm
thanks! uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tips.. heres what i wouldve told my younger self about this stuff, i guess:
- THERES NO HARD AND FAST RULES WITH COLOR OR ANYTHING IN ART ACTUALLY. DO WHAT LOOKS N FEELS GOOD TO YOU yes that includes shading with black and whatever the other deadly sins are. also ive never been to art school so take everything i say w a grain of salt
- on that note. dont be afraid of greys. in moderation and in the right places (idfk the technical terms for anything) they can really bring out your more saturated colors. same w black - its all situational tho, just figure out what does and doesnt look good thru experimenting
- one thing i used to do a lot when trying to get out of my comfort zone was tell myself to not pick something's local color - instead, pick my favorite color of the same hue. like, instead of the local blue, id pick my favorite shade of blue. not super sustainable or good advice but it did help me realise that, whoa, sometimes thinking outside of the box has cool looking results
- probably ditch those "flesh cloud" "skin cube" type 'guides'. they can be helpful for like total beginners but honestly they just kind of squash creativity. skin, like literally anything in the world that lets light bounce off it, reacts to its environment's lighting. things have local colors, sure, but if you rely on those, or any other fixed palette, for picking colors, ur stuffs gonna look the same, all the time. usually "close enough" is good enough
- complementary colors=instant win (half joking? i use them in everything)
- if ur using a non-mspaint art program u should have the "tone curve" feature. fuck with it relentlessly. way better than HSV sliders
- i think avoiding like, drowning ur colors with blending mode layers? really helped me. i still use them when i need a specific sort of blending effect for like a texture or whatever but the idea is to get confident enough w ur own color choices that you dont feel the need to completely cover them up at the end LOL
- i used to roll my eyes at this but honestly try and avoid fully saturating the majority of ur colors. it can look cool depending on the effect ur going for but the problem is that it leaves you very little room to "move"
^ (devin korwin has some awesome e books that explain this + other things about color(+other fundies) way more eloquently than me, they helped me a lot)
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saltsealed · 2 days ago
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ghoul au ——
Instead of being chosen for vault entry, Mal was one of many who found himself with nowhere to go the day the bombs fell. Although he and his cat managed to survive the initial blast, they weren't shielded from the massive amounts of radioactive fallout that followed.
Through a twist of fate, both succumbed to ghoulification, and spent the next 200 odd years building a life for themselves among the ruins of Boston and the surrounding countryside.
Due to the discrimination that comes from being a ghoul, and his own naturally reclusive nature, Mal mostly kept a low profile until recent years, when fate has him crossing paths with another pre-war veteran — the sole survivor of Vault 111.
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