I have to sleep because I have tests in the morning but my nose just decided to say fuck you and became clogged
Life is great /s
I watched last week’s Kingdom episode and:
Yunho in a cap.
That’s it, that was the whole episode for me
(Wooyoung’s jumping skill was also quite impressive and SKZ segment - with the vault - was peak comedy, just like Bobby laughing whenever a member of iKON was doing something)
Saw a post saying everything after ID/W1 is aggressively heterosexual...
What came after ID/W1?
ID/W2, Cybervers/e, WF/C and Rb/a?
I didnt watch Rb/a so I cannot talk about that, but I watched cybervers/e and WF/C and I can say that those two shows have nothing "aggressively" hetero about it.
NOTE: If there are other comics apart from ID/W2 that came out after 2018/9, forgive me for not mentioning them, I am not up to date with them)
There is no romance in this show. None. Nothing. No implied kissing, not romantic thoughts.
Windblad/e and Bee, who have the most showcased relationship, are not romantic.
Any other shown female&male relationship is not romantic.
Grimloc/k and Arce/e, Shadowstrike/r and Prow/l, Chromi/a and Percy- NOT romantic.
And there are female&female relationships as well - Windblad/e&Chromi/a, Windblad/e&Slipstrea/m or Alpha Strik/e&Skywar/p, for example
There aint nothing romantic and therefore nothing hetero about Cybervers/e, which came after ID/W1.
Lets go to WFC:
Optimu/s and Elit/a are implied to be romantically involved. That's it. Implied!
They never kiss, they never call each other their romantic partner, nothing. Their interactions with each other simply imply they are really close and care for one another deeply.
But nothing about them is explicitely romantic.
Being pissed about them even having an implied romantic relationship is insulting, because both of them have stories and arcs that have nothing to do with each other!
Optimu/s has to right the wrong he has done and get over his massive guilt, and Elit/a is currently the leader on Cybertro/n, making her own difficult decisions and trying to reason with Megatro/n in her own way.
There is nothing hetero about Elit/a giving Megatro/n the chance to join her side and save Cybertro/n together.
Implying they are "aggressively heterosexual" and that its "bad" because of that tells me that some people didn't watch the show or don't care to comprehend what happens in it.
I admit I didnt read this, but I have close friends who do so this information is theirs and not mine:
Arce*e/Greenligh*t is a thing! Cyclonu/s has a dead male lover!
ID/W2 also has a big cast of female characters overall, more than anything else that came before it.
Last but not least: Everything that came before it
Another thing about that post that annoyed me is the wording, paraphrased "Anything after ID/W1 is sooo hetero."
Have you seen anything that came before ID/W1???
G/1: 5 named female characters and 4 of them are romantically involved with another male character (But maybe my memory is wacky and Alpha Trio*n/Bet*a was a thing as well, who knows)
Head/masters: Arce/e has gone from warrior to secretary, also seen as a love interest (which is shown in the manga)
Vict/ory: One female robot character and her role is "girlfriend"
Beas/t Wars: Two female characters and both are romantically involved with male characters
Beas/t Wars II: One female character and entire role is about a love triangle
BW Ne/o: No female robot characters
Ri/D01: No female robot characters
Arm/ada: No robot female characters
Ene/rgon: One female robot and she has an origin story to why she exists. There is also the "pervy old man" trope with Bulkhea/d slapping the butt of an unnamed female medic
Cybe/rtron: One female robot in the original japanese who is a femme fatal and in love with any male robot who is super strong - the second female character was changed from male to female
ID/ fucking W1: Its retconned, but don't forget that Arce/e's original origin story was fucked up and insulting! And, as far as I can tell (correct me if I am wrong) is the only female character in phase 1.
I list these not because I hate these shows or what they did - I do love most of these shows, I love the romance in Beas/t Wars and I also love Cybe/rtron's Thunderblas/t.
But I have to explicitely say that the shows after ID/W1 are faring much better than what came before in terms of "heterosexual-ness" and female characters in general!
ID/W1 itself, as a whole, has it's own problems that the stuff after it doesn't have!
If I had to choose between the two stupid origin stories for Arce/e to exist, I would choose Energo/n's before ID/W1's.
Just because it's retconned, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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Hell yeah, got my 1 mile run time down from 09:09 to 08:50 AND THEN AGAIN THIS MORNING TO 08:20!! 🙃🙃🙃
If i see one more fucking post about how you can lose weight on 1200 cals
THATS MY TDEE
NO I FUCKING CANT
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I hate when I try to give my grandma advice, and she just... ignores it????
Like her husband/my grandpa just passed right? So I’m trying to help her take her mind off of it
Only, I made the mistake of starting my advice with “a tip my therapist gave me for when I want to self harm”
Immediately turns into “why are you so depressed? You got it good, even tho a lot of fucked up stuff has happened, blah blah blah”
Like bruhhhhh I’m trying to help you though a rough period and you wanna lecture me about being depressed??
So idk if I made her feel worse or not but now I’m guilt ridden 🙃🙃🙃
jesus people on tik tok are so gross and invasive john mulaney just got out of rehab and divorced his wife and now thousands and thousands of people posts videos crying and sharing pictures of them like wtf? don’t yall know the internet is a public place? this is probably such a hard moment for them and people keep talking about like it’s about yourself. if u actually care about these people respect them and let them deal with this jesus christ
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Living without you Day#1
I took this picture the very first day of living with you and it means the World to me.
I saw the heart and thought its the cutest thing i ever witnessed, only now i noticed the other sad face cloud
The past couple weeks were truly emotional hell for me.
To be honest i feel constantly like loosing my mind for way too long .
Thoughts i never belived could enter my head ever again keep rushing through my mind replaying endlessly,driving me crazy. Playing who can scream the Loudest and i just cant do anything to stop them anymore.
I dont want to see you the way i see you right now, its hurting me so much.
I never listened to any warning, to any dream of Mine, ignored every Red Flag, still convincing myself that you are a very special gentle soul.
I belived from the bottom of my heart you are a hero and we will always Stick together even after you pulled me back by my hair to stop me from leaving.
No matter what you did or said i could not bring myself to accept a future without you .
Everytime my choice was to endure the pain and even to suffer in silence because you are my better half and way too precious to just walk away if its not for the better of you.
I am so deeply wounded and dissapointed by your actions, i just wish i would have listened to them when they were screamed into my face instead of pushing myself to Do better even though i already was the best Version of myself and sparkling up more everyday.
I got so creative in expressing my Feelings on daily Basis, i kept trying New things, discovering sides of me i never belived exsisted. I felt like i Was truly growing as a person by your side.
I did so many things i belived i m not capable of for so many years.
After seeing how fast and violent you can kick me out over and over again like i dont mean shit to you.
Its breaking my heart Apart how easy it is for you to get rid of me.
I wish you could just hold me, kiss my head and tell me that in the end everything will be fine .
But you would rather die thsn doing that.
I just cant anymore....
I have been awakened by skunk and now that I am awake I am resisting the desire to buy 10 bags of apple chips.
Because I just discovered that costco will deliver groceries and my apple chips do be online. The great tragedy is that in the local costco’s (re all three that I’ve checked) there are no more apple chips in stock. A truer tragedy I have never faced.
I am ready to call the parents in the ... later morn... to use their costco cards to fuel my apple chip addiction...
This seems like a good idea.
because i want a tidy post to reblog every time this issue comes up:
jacen looks more like a twi’lek than the lawquane kids look human; when you say that he should look like the lawquane kids it makes every mixed race person in the room uncomfortable, because:
a) we are all so, so used to having our appearances put under a microscope and used against us
b) what’s wrong with having a mixed race character whose ancestry is not immediately guessable by looking at him?
c) while the whitewashing lately would have you forget it, kanan is a human person of color, and it’s not a bad thing for his kid to also be recognizable as a human person of color, for us human people of color
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my work is sooo annoying at the moment 😖😖😖
why can't I do something else, something idk fun maybe ? nooo gotta do the annoying bullshit work -.-
Tw ed rant-update. If in recovery please don't read.
I ate and drank a lot all weekend (sugary coke ffs and wine and spirits) and I'm down 0,2 lbs , so this makes me 98,65, also 44,75 which is the lowest so far. I probably can make it into 43 this was which is simply unbelieavable.
I was contemplating stopping, deleting this shit (no, rather asking some of you to report me because I'm getting deep into this), and upping my intake and starting intuitive eating last night because I felt sick from one slice of heavy cake, even that I ate if for half an hour and had a tea afterwards. I was like "okay if you gained you stop, because it's not working and it's fucking up your stomach which you never had a problem with, and which you DON'T WANT TO have a problem with because you have phobias regarding any treatment".. and then it dropped while I'm probably full of shit (literally and not literally lol). Also what's coming? Summer, I hate summer due to my looks for 20+ years probably, and like, ugly shit you are but at least thin. Do I wanna fuck up?
Or do I want stomach ulcers and other issues which is horrid and I'm hysterical about any treatment from doctors?
This bitch is confused.
I have nothing else to control. I don't know what to do. I'll take it as a sign if I get blocked and thrown out. Maybe.
Rant about finding a place to live incoming. I just need to get this off my chest so I'll put it under a cut. Do click read more if you are inclined to read me word-vomit over how pissed I am right now.
This is what got this rant going:
I got an e-mail full of non-information yesterday afternoon about one of my possibly-not-completely-unatainable-living-space-options that basically said : "Haha fuck you, you can't live here and we are totally not gonna tell you why so you won't know what will get you succesfully through this ridiculous process the next time you try!"
Ok. Not quite that harsh but still basically "bad luck, you have to stay in your current shithole of a tiny studio" .
Option one for having something more than a fricking broomcupboard is off the table.
Option two I will only know about somewhere in JuLY. They had me sign up at the same damn time as no. 1 and they take 2 (TWO) MONTHS longer to let me know if I even have a slight chance?! It's 1 building and about 60 apartments. Prolly about 3000 people applied (guestimate based on looking for a new place for over a year rn). IF I get selected for this the first I will know about it in 2 months and goddess knows when I can actually move. I'm putting that down in my diary for "will know something in August if I'm lucky". Attainable goals here, people.
Option three is the same building as no. 2 but this is being decided by a lottery. Current place on the list after the entries closed yesterday: 664th. Out of 1744 people who entered. Not holding out much hope there, unless everyone in front of me in this virtual line should say no/not qualify/die suddenly. Their pick.
Option 4. 25th on a lottery-list last week. 1 single domicile available and usually no. 1 on the list takes it. (Are you seeing a pattern here?)
Option 5; entering into more lotteries and hoping I don't end up 1200th. AGAIN. Like I have done for almost all of these I've entered over the last year (just FYI: 6 entries a week on average, ending up somewhere between 8th (no. 2 took it, obviously) and 2617th. Someone maths-inclined can figure out how much that is on avarage, I'm too tired of this shit to add maths into it).
Oh and sort-of option 6. Trying to find something on the private market. Which is basically being catfished by rental ads.
"Look, this place is €600 a month!"*
*not including electricity, heat, water, municiple taxes, rent for a parking spot you won't use but can't opt out of, servicefees for basically sweeping the hallway once a month, furniture you can't opt out of and don't need, internet, tv, a lease for at minimum a year so even if you find somewhere better or cheaper you still have to pay us, 3 times the monthly rent in a deposit you prolly won't get back, income requirement is 3x the monthly rent and of course no pets/smoking/incense/spicy cooking/basically leaving traces someone lived here allowed. Plus you can't get rental assistance.
So actually. it's €900 a month. Which I can't afford if I wanna, like, eat food every day. Or pay for anything else.
Just... Let me live somewhere that doesn't make me even more fucking misarable than I already AM. That has an actual bedroom instead of bumping into every fucking thing if I take one single big step after getting up in the morning.
Can we just do that for me, universe? Pretty please? I don't care how, but come ON. At least get me a winning lottery ticket for a decent amount of money to afford my rent without this extra stress every single blasted day of the rest of miserable life.
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A letter to skinny people from a skinny person:
As someone who is skinny, and has been my whole life, skinny people are shamed, but NO WHERE NEAR the extent that fat/overweight people are.
Let’s not try and claim that the body positivity movement is for us. It’s not. You are the beauty standard. Let’s have people who don’t fit this standard feel comfortable and beautiful.
The movement is about embracing all body types and shapes, but ours is already embraced. Let us embrace other people.
We do not need to complain that: “skinny people are shamed, we are told to eat a burger”. You can’t oppress the oppressor. It’s not even that deep of an insult. Shut up.
Skinny shaming is a real thing, but it is so significantly minuscule compared to fat shaming. Don’t comment on a person’s post who is talking about how fat shaming is so hard, that “skinny people are shamed too”.
Fat people are reminded every day of their life that they aren’t pretty, we are never reminded of that. They are reminded everyday that they aren’t the beauty standard, we are never reminded of that.
The amount of problems that a significant portion of overweight people suffer from: disordered eating, body dysmorphia, mental illness, eating disorders etc. is extreme.
Let fat people have their moment. You’ve had yours for your entire life, now sit down and let other people be confident.
- a skinny person <3
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sounds like you have a shitty friend
idk :/ it feels like i’m being dramatic about it most of the time but also? it feels like i walk on eggshells with them and i feel more bad than good about myself when it all comes down to it so maybe i’m not being dramatic? i don’t know it’s just,,, like it just feels like i can’t be myself. i feel like i’m an affectionate person w the people i care about but i can’t do that bc “why are you doing this lol” (ie gift situations and just trying to help in general?) so i back off bc then i feel so stupid for like caring about them when it seems like they don’t care/want me to?? but then if somethings wrong it just always feels like i’m the one who has to suck it up and fix things. if i don’t push away my own emotions and communicate first, then who knows if we’d even still be friends now,,, which i’m just dbdbd tired with too? and i feel like i can’t ever actually express my emotions/or feel sad/upset or hurt ask for any type of reassurance bc their response is just basically “you shouldn’t feel that way lol...” and then get upset with me when i feel down about that and they just stop talking to me until maybe they feel like i’ve gotten over my hurt feelings lmao i just. idk :/ lately i’ve been feeling bad about myself bc of this but again i feel like i’m just over dramatizing everything in my head so who knows
hahahahahah cant write bc i lost all ambition and passion for the only thing that made me feel like a human being cant keep a job even if i mange to get one cant keep my friends close cant beg them to stay cant even look them in the eye cant get better when its so painfully fucking clear everyone believes im just paranoid or psychotic every time im upset or unwell cant ever go back to my family cant afford to see the doctor even though my hairs falling out and it feels like my heart is fucking failing and most of this year has been lost to feeling truly physically deep in my bones unwell cant afford to care for my dog the way i feel i should and if i think about that more i will start sobbing cant sleep at night bc when i do i have nightmares about people who hurt me and my bones washing up on the fucking beach cant shower or look at myself in the mirror for too long bc im taking a flying leap off the cliffside of my ed again cant reach out to anyone cant talk to anyone cant be around anyone without this massive dull pain consuming my entire body bc it is blatantly and objectively clear at this point that i am far more trouble than im fucking worth.... every day that i wake up in this godforsaken motherfucking empty house is another day closer to me screaming until i stop breathing
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really wanted to try "intuitive eating" today, but i literally don't know if i'm hungry, if it's just my stomach hurting, if i'm bored.....and i don't understand when i'm full...i HAVE to eat the whole plate or else i binge....
Thoughts on wholesamponk even tho its dead (ue ue ue soung of crying)
TLDR: They used to love each other, but after everything that happened they can't just go back to loving each other again, but they miss it. Shits fucked!
I thought their dynamic was very, very sweet and enjoyed them a lot, so when Things happened I was a bit upset, obv, but also I'm intrigued with everything that's going on between the two of them. I wonder where they're going to go with it eventually, so whatever they'll do, I'm here for it
But as someone who is a BIG fan of Sam especially it honestly breaks my heart to see him falling down this rabbit hole of corruption and denying the fact that he does, and seeing him literally kill and torture Ponk is like. Daym broski. What the fuck
And Ponk? He's literally so fucked up right now because of this whole shit, and don't forget the whole eggpire thing going on - he's corrupted and being hunted down, and the person he loved turned out to be a dick, to say the least. I feel so bad for Ponkie
Also on a bit of a side-note, the whole Ponk and Foolish relationship rn. MAN. Their dynamic is fucking WILD bro. At first Foolish helps Ponk after Sam cut off his arm. Then the Banquet thing. Ponk literally partook in his murder. And now what? Ponk hits on Foolish to spite Sam. He's such a big thing in their whole relationship imho but it's a whole another topic to take on
Their relationship is really hard tho, if you think about it. No doubt they loved each other before they were corrupted but now it's really complicated. Sam fucked up, and he fucked up big time to put it lightly and Ponk is heavily damaged by his actions, both physically and mentally. And I think that there's still a part of them that somewhat still cares for one another - Sam saying that Ponk is beautiful and clearly being affected by Ponk flirting w Foolish (though idk how to explain it but it looks a bit sketchy to me, like if anything, but I really can't call it love or care) and Ponk going with this whole Foolish thing (though, I wouldn't call it love either). But it's not that anymore, they're not the same. I think they're just missing the time when everything was alright, and still desperately try to go back there in some way. It goes well with the whole theme for this season - missing the good old days, wishing for going back in time when everything was great, so they wish for them to be together and happy again, but both of them know that it's not possible. And I don't know if it helps for them to be reunited again honestly, in my opinion they might be on good terms again but I don't think they'd love each other again
So yeah! Those are my thoughts
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When I started caring more about my appearance and found comfort dressing femininely, people assumed me acting dumb was real. Even people who I’ve known basically my whole life.
The reason why I stress that it’s important for Franziska to be allowed to be feminine is because she should be taken just as seriously if she was more “girly”. And don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with masculine Franziska concepts, like she’s so pretty in them.
But it’s important for women to be able to dress feminine and still be taken seriously and still be respected. I feel as Franziska gets older she realizes that being feminine isn’t as scary as she thought. And I think Maya would help her with that.
Basically there are two version of like time skip Franziska in my mind
Without FranMaya: more masculine, happy, confident, cuts her own hair, lots of high waisted pants and vests, fan of horror novels, maybe a sword, very princy
With FranMaya: longer hair tied back, either in a bun or in a pony tail, three piece skirt suit (maybe even a pleated skirt !!!), more makeup, happy, confident, fan of romance novels, back to a riding crop, prob a little bit more a horse girl
I think Maya would play a very important role in relaxing Franziska, I think it would be hard to be serious around her all the time. Either way, I think she would stay dramatic and demanding, but I think she would also grow to be nicer and maybe ditch the whip (I can dream)
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