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crackheadgeminibby · 3 years

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better for you

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, angst, language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform

not my picture

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.

You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.

As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.

You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.

You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.

Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.

You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.

But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.

You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??

It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.

So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.

A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.

Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?

You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,

“Hello?”

You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”

You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”

“Have you watched the news today?”

You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”

Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”

You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?

“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”

You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.

You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.

chris💙, 11:01pm:

Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍

You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.

You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.

You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.

When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.

You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.

When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.

You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.

5 missed calls

12 messages

You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.

You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.

will, 7:31am:

When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?

you, 7:32am:

i didn’t

yet

will, 7:32am:

You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?

You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.

you, 7:33am:

as you should(:

You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.

chris💙, 5:22am:

Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.

I’m so sorry

Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.

You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.

As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.

You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.

You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.

chris💙, 6:15pm:

I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.

Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?

You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.

you, 6:17pm:

i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning

As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.

chris💙, 6:17pm:

Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?

Can I call you?

You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.

you, 6:18pm:

i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry

chris💙, 6:18pm:

Okay, I’m sorry

Good night

You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.

You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.

You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.

You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.

You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.

You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.

As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.

When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.

As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”

Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”

“Ow… What the fuck?”

You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.

“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”

You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,

“So, London seemed to be very fun.”

Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”

Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”

You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”

“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”

Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”

You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”

Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.

“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”

Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”

“What way?”

You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”

Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”

Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”

Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”

He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”

You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”

“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”

You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”

“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”

You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

“And, baby, I’m sorry.”

You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”

Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”

Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,

“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”

Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”

#chris evans #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x woc #chris evans fanfictions #chris evans fanfics

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teletraan-meets-jarvis · 3 years

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What I Want - Part 2

AO3 Link

Chapter Title: What I Need

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!Jedi Reader

Summary: Following the awkwardness of the night before, you go to an old friend to try and process your feelings for Crosshair.

Click here for Part 1

Warnings: 18+, a bit more frisky business but not full on so rated 18 just to be safe. Swearing.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Notes: You ask, you get!! Thanks so much for all the support and love for part 1 ❤️. As a thank you, I bring you part 2, I hope you enjoy! If this one takes off a bit as well, I do have an idea for a little bonus chapter around the Bad Batches' reaction. As always, feedback/comments are massively appreciated along with reblogs. Fic is below the cut off, thanks for reading!!

Taglist: @aerynwrites @shannon-lynn-21 @saltywintersoldat @tired-night-owl @wille-zarr

A comm alarm beeped softly, slowly pulling you out your slumber. Giving the device a sleepy glare, you shut it off and huffed back onto your bunk. Wrecker’s snores were echoing off the small ship barracks, you rolled your eyes at his sleeping form across the room as you swung your legs over the side of your top bunk. Below you, Tech slept soundly, he managed to fall asleep with his goggles on which were now sitting wonky on his relaxed face. He also had a datapad clutched to his chest, almost like a teddy bear, which made you chuckle to yourself.

You’d barely slept after getting back from the mission but being a General stopping over on Coruscant meant rest would be a pipe dream. Your alarm was set to get you out of bed and ready for the first of what you were sure would be a hundred and ten briefings today. You were always happy to shoulder the politics for the team, removing that burden from Hunter so they could keep to themselves. But today, you could really do without it.

You looked over at Hunter and Crosshair’s bunks, the former sleeping up top with an arm over his eyes. Probably to block out the few small coloured lights on the ship that shone from critical systems, preventing the room from being truly pitch black. You didn’t envy Hunter’s enhanced senses, they seemed to cause him quite a bit of discomfort when they weren’t on missions. You should probably pick him up an eye mask one of these days.

Below him, Crosshair slept with his back to the open room. One of the few times you ever saw his body relaxed was when he slept. You cringed as you remembered yesterday’s awkwardness with the sniper and mentally cursed at yourself for causing, what was, an easily avoidable situation.

Shaking your head you jumped silently off of your bunk, mindful to not wake any of the batch. You gently removed Tech’s goggles, placing them in their usual spot before moving over to grab some fresh robes and head for the fresher. Today was going to be a real drag.

—————————————————

“Hey! Look what the Lothcat dragged in” someone called after you as you trudged up the steps to the GAR Headquarters. You turned around to see none other than Anakin Skywalker jogging up behind you.

“Nice to see you too Skyguy” he chuckled at the nickname as he threw an arm around your shoulders.

You fell into companionable chatter as you made your way to your first meeting, the dark halls of the military headquarters looking indistinguishable as you attempted to find the correct room. Members of the Coruscant Guard patrolled the halls, nodding politely to you both as you strolled past.

Eventually you found the room where Mace, Plo and Luminara were waiting, along with some clone and human high command. You stood outside the door for a moment, readying yourself to seal your fate of being talked at for a solid eight standard hours.

Eventually you caved, mostly as you were on the verge of being late if you debated standing outside any longer. Begrudgingly, you sat through briefing after briefing. All the voices and different rooms blending into one grey blur as you tried to take in what information you could, but your tired and stressed mind was having none of it.

While it was nice to catch up with some of the other Jedi, you always felt a bit out of place among the perfect members of the council. More so now than ever.

You ended up wandering back to the temple with Anakin where you both retired to his room and you flopped down onto his simple bed with a whine.

“Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been off all day” Anakin was the closest thing you had to a brother, you trained as Padawans together and due to your similar age you became fast friends. You knew about his marriage to Padme and decided that if you could offload your dilemma on anyone, it’d be him.

“I fucked up” you groaned out from behind your hands.

“What’d you do?” Anakin replied in a playful tone.

“I might’ve got a bit hot and heavy with one of the clones in my squad, led him on and then cut it off” Anakin raised an eyebrow at your confession. “And now he’s pissed at me”

“Why?” You weren’t entirely sure which part of that entire thing he was questioning.

“Because I started the whole thing, I wanted it. Then all of a sudden I did that whole guilty Jedi, must follow every word of the order thing, gave him some pathetic look which said really sorry I can’t have attachments mate, hope you understand. He called me out on it before I could even utter the banthashit excuse and then he stomped off and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“In his defence, seems like he was probably wound a little tight” Anakin replied with a chuckle which you just groaned at.

“He has every right to be pissed. Hells, I would be if the roles were reversed. Whats with this whole self-righteous act us Jedi have going on?”

“Look, it’s hard being a Jedi at the best of times. It takes an inhumane amount of self-control, which is why its not a path for the weak. But being a Jedi while at war… it’s a lot. You’re emotions are running high, you’re forming bonds with soldiers on the battlefield that you shouldn’t be, but none of us can help it because it’s uncharted territory. Maker knows I’d hunt down anyone who hurt Obi-Wan or my Captain. Yes, It’s not the Jedi way, but neither is fighting a grand-scale war.” Anakin’s eyes were alive with emotion as he spoke, be he quickly caught himself and then it was gone.

“My point is, don’t beat yourself up so much. No one is getting kicked out the order or in his case reconditioned if that’s what you’re worried about. Figure out what it is you want, and then just be discreet about it” you looked at Anakin like he’d grown two heads, he just winked at your confused stare.

“Okay let’s keep it simple. Are you attracted to him?” You thought back to the night before and firmly nodded in response.

“Do you like him as a person?” You pondered his question.

“Well, it’s Cross. I wasn’t sure if he even liked me for a long time. He’s closed off, anti-social, but he’s also a good guy, cares about his brothers, has saved my ass multiple times, and he is kinda funny in his own, snide way” you rattled off with fondness in your words.

“Well then I suggest you go and talk to him.” Anakin replied, giving you a knowing look when he spotted the small smile on your lips as you spoke about the sniper.

You took a deep breath, glad to have finally gotten that off your chest and feeling content that you now knew what to do next. “Thanks, Ani”

“Ugh please don’t call me that” he moaned back, apparently only Padme was allowed to get away with that one.

————————————————

Your walk back to the Marauder felt like it dragged on and on. Your brain ran over a thousand scenarios of what to say, how he’d react and you were about to short circuit. There was so much risk, so much possibility, that you did your best to shut your mind off and let yourself handle it in the moment. These things never went as planned anyway, it was best not to guess.

The large door to the ship hissed open, your boots clanking on the metal surface as you cautiously walked into your home. It didn’t take you long to find Crosshair, he was sat in the main hull methodically cleaning his hand blaster. Everyone else must’ve been asleep. He was just in his blacks, the material hugging him in the most wonderful way, it’s like whoever designed those things was trying to trip you up. The contours of his arm muscles flexing as he worked, his strong chest looked practically chiselled at the heart of his lean frame. You had to force yourself to calm down a little bit.

“Uh, hey” you greeted awkwardly. “Mind if I join you?”

You took his silence as a well he’s not saying no. He didn’t spare you a glance as you walked in and took a seat opposite him. As a General in the GAR, you rarely got nervous. War, as a concept, was simple. You knew your purpose, your objective, you had a job to get done and you’d do it. The risks never stopped you, rather they fuelled you. Probably why you’re such a good fit for the bad batch.

But this right now, personal feelings, not knowing where you stand with someone you care about. Because if you were honest, you really did care about Crosshair, the same as you did the rest of the team. You’d only been with the squad just under a year but you’d gladly lay down your life for any of them in a heartbeat. If you could at least get back to where you were before the other night, you’d be over the moon.

You weren’t used to being so nervous, you let your hands fiddle with you dark Jedi robes as you readied yourself to speak again.

“Look, I’m not here to throw some crap about being a Jedi at you, I promise. And I’m sorry for trying it before” he still didn’t look at you, finding his blaster much more interesting. But you could tell he was listening, you had his attention. Might as well keep babbling.

“In terms of an explanation for what happened yesterday, well I guess I panicked.” You sighed as you tried to find the next words “The way you made me feel that night, I… I’ve never felt like that before and everything i’d been taught over the years screamed at me that what I was doing was dangerous and wrong. I now realise that I’m just an idiot. I make my own decisions and I… uh -well, I stick by that one, starting something that is.” Still nothing.

“I know this is probably a long shot. But in the interest of being transparent” you rambled “uh… if you want to go down that road again, I’m up for seeing what happens, can be as casual as we like. I promise I won’t freak out on you again.” You chuckled and thought you almost spotted a slight pull in the corner of Crosshair’s lips “But if you want to go back to how we were before, I’d also really like that.” You watched him for a while as he gave no acknowledgement of your words, his cleaning finished as he now gave the weapon a once over in his hands. Having said everything you needed, you got up from your seat, looking away from him.

“Well, if I can do anything else, let me know” you turned on your heel to leave, feeling slightly defeated but glad you’d at least made the first step.

“I could think of a few things” he finally spoke as he leaned back into his seat and continued to stare at his blaster, still not meeting your gaze.

Well that caught your attention, you turned back around to face him as he carried on ignoring you. While his tone was unbothered as he spoke, you knew him just enough to know his words held a meaning. He was playing with you, back to his usual teasing and you could’ve laughed at the relief that washed over you. This you could work with. A cheeky idea popped into your head and you’d decided to run with it.

“Oh really?” Throwing caution to the wind, you strode over to the sniper slowly. His gaze finally meeting yours after all this time, watching you as you got closer and closer. Practically drawing you in with his amber eyes. You pushed him back by his chest, creating enough room so you could straddle his lap. “Care to elaborate?”

He huffed out a short laugh at your words, his face overall unbothered but his eyes, they were burning into you. “You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you’ll figure it out”.

You hummed in response, deciding to kick things up a notch you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing your faces just breaths apart. “Something like this?” You asked, pausing for another second before bringing your lips to his in a surprisingly soft and gentle kiss. You felt his hands come up to rest on your back, pulling you closer as you continued your slow dance. This was so different from the other night, where before there was desperation and lust, now there was something more… tender, passionate. You were quite glad you weren’t standing as the way he moved against you would’ve definitely made your knees weak.

Dragging yourself away from his lips, you searched his face. His mouth pulled into a barely there smirk “That’s a start.”

“Who said I was finished?” And just like that, the last few strands of tension between you both snapped and you relaxed in his arms. You fisted your hands into the front of his blacks and pulled him back to you, his tongue slipped between your lips, curious and demanding. He was everywhere again, filling your nose with the scent of the standard cheap GAR soap but mixed with something earthy, something so distinctly Crosshair and you couldn’t get enough.

You could tell why the Jedi order frowned upon such activities, kissing Crosshair was intoxicating. You couldn’t think of anything else other than the handsome clone in front of you and just how much you wanted him in that moment.

His hands wandered lower and lower down you back until they rested comfortably on your backside, pulling you further up his lap. Feeling mischievous, you started trailing kisses along his jaw. Setting a teasing, languid pace as you mapped out the spots that made him squirm. Crosshair was never a man of many words, so you made it your mission to see just how vocal you could make him.

As your lips met his pulse point, he gave a loud exhale and you smirked in victory against his skin as you continued the onslaught on his senses. You definitely seemed to be doing something right as his hands found themselves in your hair, clutching slightly and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped you. Even while trying to gain the upper hand in the situation, he always had some control over you. It was maddening in the best way, setting your veins alight with desire.

Determined to get another victory you traced your tongue against the base of the side of his neck and trailed it all the way up to the bottom of his ear, which you teasingly took into your mouth, teeth grazing the soft skin. A strangled moan escaped the clone and that was the moment where you knew you were hopelessly and utterly gone. Your mind filled with nothing other than wanting to be closer to Crosshair.

“Not very Jedi of you” he commented, slightly breathless when you finally stopped teasing him and came back up to meet his eyes. Looking down at where your bodies were pressed against one another, you chuckled.

“What exactly about this situation led you to believe I was ever a model Jedi?” You smirked, though it was only visible for a second before his mouth was back on yours, devouring you as his hands greedily roamed your body.

You continued making out like teenagers for most of the evening, taking the time to explore each other, enjoying the closeness. Contentment settled over your body, almost as if this was were you were meant to be. If Crosshair’s arms were where you belonged, well, you could think of worse places to be.

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subwaysurf45 · 3 years

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Winter Makes Ice (Ep.7)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title

Words: 3412

Episode: seven

Warning: PTSD, vomiting

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Six

Time: 8:01am

Date: October 7th 2024

Were you running late?

Yes.

Your final appointment with Bruce was today and it was scheduled for 8:00 in the morning, you had set your alarm with enough time to get there but Bucky had other plans. While you were getting up Bucky snaked his metal arm around you, he knew you couldn’t break out of it, he pulled you back in his chest so you could stay for a little longer but you managed to bribe him after giving a few kisses down his neck. As you sucked his hand relaxed and when he didn’t see it coming and you snuck out to your bathroom to get ready for the day, you knew he was too tired to get up and pull you back.

The surgery for both your nose and removing the serum went without a hitch, though you did have a panic attack a day later because it seemed too good to be true for you, everything else went fine. Bruce managed to take samples of your skin and make them into cartilage for your nose, it took a couple days for it to marry and accept your face, it would turn really red and then lose all colour in a matter of minutes. The serum removal took longer than expected, and it turns out what Bruce’s lab was creating wasn’t what he was expecting. The antibiotic would actually get into your bloodstream and split the serum from the red blood cells, but it wouldn’t remove them, the serum would still circulate in your body but just next to the red blood cells.

A heart-lung by-pass machine was used while you were sedated, you could have been awake but seeing your blood fill a tube and then go back into you while a bag filled with blue liquid was just extra trauma you didn’t want to see. There were always complications with being sedated, but Bucky supported you no matter what. You weren’t left feeling sick after but like you hadn’t slept in days, you found there was a difference between waking up from passing out like you did in the cell and just lack of sleep, Bucky had looked at you quizzically when you said it randomly, but you couldn’t seem to explain.

You still get headaches from time to time, it normally comes from that same spot in the back of your head and high on your neck, you’d feel around for a scab or scar but would find nothing. There was a bump when you’d checked recently but it seemed as though it was a goose egg form getting hit, but that was so long ago. You didn’t talk about your bump much because you thought people would look at you crazy, some people already did; while others looked at you like you were a ghost.

As you walked to Banner's lab an agent stopped talking to her friend to look you up and down, and hand came to cover her mouth but you saw the smirk in her eyes. You just shrugged and turned into the lab.

“You’re late,” Bruce said, he was sat on his stool with everything in hand, clipboard and pen at the ready.

“Sorry,” you smiled and sat down.

Bruce began to do the checks, he got good at hiding that he was taking blood, he’d point across the room to show a floating hologram of all your vitals and while you were reading over them he’d quickly stick the needle in to draw a bit of blood.

He did the same except he pinched your thigh as he stuck in the needle point to make your attention go to your leg instead of the inside of your elbow.

“Ow!” you slapped his hand away, “I’m used to it by now, and I also trust you and know you’re not trying to stick a foreign serum into me.'' You shook your head and read the file that was left open, “I can’t believe it’s my last test,” you sighed and leaned back in the chair.

The whirl of the centrifuge wasn’t too loud, Bruce stood beside it with one arm holding his weight on the desk. He watched as you looked over the file again and again, your finger would trace the words and slowly find their way to the corner of the page to flip. The further you got into the file the further back you went, Bruce noticed you tend to stay on your injury report page a bit longer than the others, you’d study the little picture of a person and all the ‘X’s that were drawn where you got hurt; you could barely see the human drawing underneath. He’d watch as you read over every description of the injuries you’ve gotten, one time he asked why and you looked at him and said.

“Because I go over how to fix each injury, so when I go back into the field I can stay on my toes.”

But he knew you were just tired of feeling like you weren’t helping when in reality you prompted a medical breakthrough, not everyone gets infected by a mind controlling serum, but the new use of a heart-lung by-pass was being looked at by hospitals.

Bruce took the blood out of the centrifuge and looked into the vial, there was no trace of blue like there was the first time he did it, just plasma and blood. You were still reading and he knew you’d pass his test so instead of telling you he was starting the evaluation, he just did it.

“Close that book.” He lowered his voice which sent a boom through the lab.

You didn’t close it but it did scare you for a second, a little jump but you went right back to reading. You weren’t trying to be mean by not listening but you had to show that you wouldn’t follow orders but rather respond like a normal human, the first day you flinched for the stool when Bruce asked you to walk it over to him but after that you tended to act like he wasn’t in the room.

“Stand up.” he barked.

You looked over to him, “no thanks,” you smiled, Bruce smiled back.

“Can you stand for a second, please?” Bruce squinted and leaned back on the desk, he was challenging how you’d react to an indirect command, it was an offer rather than a command.

“I don't know, can I?” You tilted your head to the side, a wide smile was being suppressed by a terrible poker face.

“May you please stand?” Bruce walked over with a proud smile on his face, he was no longer challenging you.

You just laughed and stood, “only because you asked so nicely,” you let your teeth flash while you both laughed. “Why did you choose standing? That’s like, day one stuff,” you sighed from laughing and closed the file.

“Because I want to hug you,” he opened his arms wide, “to congratulate you. Now give me a hug, that’s an order!” he giggled but laughed even more when you pretended to scope him out, “just kidding, come ‘ere, kid.”

You fell into a hug and wrapped your arms tightly around him, Bruce did the same. It was quick but it meant the world. “Thanks for everything, Bruce.” You smiled as you walked out of the room, “I mean it, you really helped me out.”

“Don't mention it, you’re free!” he opened his arms wide to shew you out of his lab.

You walked out and closed the door behind you, you only took a few steps before staring off into the distance. “I guess I am…” you muttered to yourself before continuing to walk back to your room.

As you walked you didn’t even see Bucky in the kitchen “doll!” he called and you turned instantly, “breakfast?” he tilted the frying pan over so you could see french toast.

Your eating and sleeping were the only things that didn’t seem to get better, nightmares plagued you every night and you could barely stomach a workout smoothie. Bucky would try his best to get you to eat but he typically ate your leftovers instead of making a meal for himself, it was hard to watch because you weren’t gaining weight and he still felt guilty when he’d touch your back and feel every ridge.

“I’ll have a bit,” you smiled and walked over, “I’m a free bird now.” you commented as he slipped the bread on your plate.

“Way to go, babe, I knew you could do it.” He scrunched his nose and took the stool beside you, “eat slow and as much as you want, no worries.” He kissed your temple before pulling out his phone.

You slowly started to eat, you put the corner of the bread in your mouth and chewed slowly. The sweetness and the flavour was still overpowering, you weren’t used to this much intensity and it only made you feel nauseous. As much as Bucky acted like he wasn’t paying attention you could see his eyes look over as far as he can to gauge your reaction, when you’d catch him looking he’d just cough and look forward. You only got four bites in before turning your nose up and pushing the plate to Bucky. He didn’t want to seem disappointed but he was, not in you but rather himself, nothing was working.

“What do you think you can eat?” He asked softly.

“Plain yogurt?” you questioned.

“I’ll give anything a shot,” he breathed and stood. The yogurt was far back in the fridge but he found it eventually, he poured a little bowl, “you want granola?” he asked.

“Just yogurt,” she sheepishly replied, a thin line formed on your lips.

He served it up and went back to eating the french toast, you scooped it up and took a spoonful. It was so plain and boring, nothing tingled on your taste buds. There was no category for it, it wasn't sweet or sour, it wasn’t savoury; it was just plain. The metallic taste from the spoon had more power than the yogurt itself. Nothing to chew, no berries or granola.

It was perfect.

In no time you scarfed it down, the spoon clicked on the bowl as you scraped for the ends of it. Bucky had been cooking your favourite foods to make you feel at home, you liked spice and sweetness normally. You’d turn down yogurt a month ago if it didn’t have your favourite granola in it, but what both you and Bucky didn’t realize was that you started with crazy flavours instead of the basics. Butter and bread, plain crackers, and maybe some almonds sounded great right now.

Bucky looked over in shock to see you done with your food, he watched as you went to the pantry and pulled out some unsalted crackers. You plopped a few into your mouth and just waited to see if your body would reject it, but it didn’t.

“Guess I went too fast, too soon, huh?” he let out an unhappy laugh, “you could’ve been eating for a while…” he muttered and stood. He was exhausted, the darker circles under his eyes and the flatness of his skin didn’t go unnoticed. You woke up every night screaming and thrashing around in the bed, the sheets would be piled on the floor from your arms swinging around. As much as Bucky wanted some sleep, he knew for a fact that you’d been in disposition before, you’d been the one to gently ease him out of a nightmare for three weeks straight.

“You did your best and I love you for it,” You smiled and leaned across the counter to kiss his lips, he sat back down again, “I would have done the same thing, if it makes you feel better.”

Bucky just rubbed his face and looked up to you, “how?” was all he asked.

“How...what?” you giggled, but Bucky didn’t crack a smile.

“Why are you so upbeat right now, I get it you finished your tests with Banner but, god, I don’t know how you’re so happy?” He didn’t sound angry but more in disbelief, if it were him, Bucky knew he’d be curled into a ball in the middle of the bed for days, there wouldn’t be anything to make him happy.

You just sighed and sat down next to him again, “I’m not upbeat right now, if I’m being honest,” you looked forward and the sleek grey cupboards, “I can’t train because my stitches will fall out, I can’t run for the same reason. Half of the team treats me like fine china while the other half still punches me in the arm when they tell a funny joke, if I’m hanging out with Steve he will ask if I’m okay after every little thing while Tony doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t like sneak attacks anymore.” You wiped down your face with both hands, “my head still hurts like crazy, especially in that one spot in the back, everyone is too loud and I’ve been called ‘too quiet’ too many times for me to count.” You finally looked over to Bucky who had the saddest eyes, his lips curled down as he scanned over you, “you’re the only one who I can be, somewhat, happy around because you get it. Yes, you can be very cautious but you’ve backed off when I’ve said no and you’ve learned not to push when I can’t remember much. Bucky,” you cupped his face with one hand, you could feel him push into it, “you see me happy around you because you’re the only one who knows how to put a smile on my face right now, and I’m so happy it’s you.” Before he could say anything you pulled him in for a kiss, he hummed into it and reached up to place his hand over yours; it was still resting on his stubbled cheek.

“I didn’t know I was doing all that right, I thought I was failing.” Bucky muttered against your lips, you could feel the sadness in his voice.

“I still can’t lift my arm up all the way without it hurting, you wash my hair and put it in the clip when I ask, you might not have figured that food out or my nightmares but you do the little things, and that’s what makes it better.” Bucky’s arms moved down to hold you at your waist, you were still close. All he could do was smile, the kind of smile you use when you get a prize for a thing you really didn’t think mattered or when you’re embarrassed of how you fell in front of everyone; his lips turned down but his eyes smiled.

The rest of your morning flowed into your afternoon easily, you’d spent some time just lounging in the bed and keeping each other warm. Little make-out session might brew but nothing went too far, it wouldn’t for a while and you both agreed on that. At one point you fell asleep curled up against Bucky’s chest, he stayed still and when it came time, he helped you out of your nightmare. The little kisses littered your face until you were calm again, he didn’t dare to fall asleep at this point because he knew you would too and being woken up by twitches and little pleads for help weren’t something he enjoyed for his own mental health.

Time: 9:30pm

Date: October 7th 2024

Everyone filed into the cinema room for movie night, this was your first one since you came back. Bucky had tried to talk you out of it due to it being October and a horror movie was on the list, apparently it was a early 2000’s slasher, basically the worst movie to come back to. You were done with hiding away from the team, you wanted to see them again, scary movies didn’t bother you before because you knew they were just movies and alien killers weren’t real, you really didn’t know how much could change now.

There was a bowl of popcorn for you and Bucky, you sat in the corner so you were nestled into the armrest and the back pillow, Bucky was on your left, cautiously watching you as Nat queued up the movie.

“I now present,” she held her arms in front of the screen, “Camp Blood!” The movie faded in from black and a hush fell over the team. People snuggled deeping into their blankets and got ready for the movie, you just leaned your head on Bucky’s shoulder and threw a few pieces of popcorn- without butter -in your mouth.

Not even a half an hour later you were really shaken up, the gore and the blood had slowly broken down your walls and gotten to your head. You had hid it so well Bucky genuinely had no idea even though he was checking in on you after every kill, a little kiss to your temple before a double check.

“I have to pee,” you whispered to Bucky and left the room.

You sprinted down and to the back where there was a door to the outside, the air was suffocating and you couldn’t breathe. It seemed everything you could remember was flashing in your mind all at once while new memories were coming into play, it was all so overwhelming and you couldn’t handle it. You pushed the door open and stumbled to your knees and the cold fall weather opened your lungs so wide you thought they were going to pop, the gasps came out unevenly and some were quick shots of air. Your hand was pulling and scratching at the finally held bruise on your neck, it was like you could feel the chains slowly wrapping around you like a snake's tail, coming up around your neck and squeezing tightly.

With one push, the chains in your mind snapped and all the popcorn you had eaten came back out, right onto the deck that was power washed three days ago. A few pieces of kernels got stuck when you took your first breath in but after spitting them out you could finally breathe again.

You sat back up on your feet and just looked into the night sky, it was too cold for you to be out here but it was peaceful. With the serum you would have been fine with this weather but that had left you, you were free now, if you wanted you could run down the grass into the forest and never see anyone ever again. It was horrifying that that idea was pleasant to you, you’d never see Bucky ever again but you could be free.

One foot hit the grass, but then the sound of a lock pulled you from your fantasy, you looked over your shoulder to see the lights off and the red emergency lights spinning around. You ran up to bang on the door but no one could see or hear you, “let me on!” you screamed for anyone but you knew these glass doors were sound proof. “Fuck!”

“Soldat,” you froze, the voice you remembered vividly rang through your head, you shook it off and kept pounding on the door, “they’re never going to help you,” it chanted in your mind.

“No, let me in!” you screamed again, your head hit the glass door in defeat, the voice mocked you in your brain. You pulled away from the glass and looked into the building, but then your focal point focused on the reflection.

“Soldat, break in and kill them all.” the voice said, the slick hair and the notch in his brow, the leader that got away. To your horror, your break straightened and your chin went up, you turned towards the man who never gave you his name. He dressed in all black and wore a Hydra pin over his heart, “you really think we’d let you get away?” he asked, “you really think we only gave you the serum?”

“What is happening?” you asked, your mind was being taken over.

“I’ll say it again. Soldat, break in and kill them all.” his smile grew.

You didn’t want to, but somehow the other part of you did.

“copy.”

And the glass shattered with one punch.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine @commonintrest @buckyys-doll @lil-baby-nor @wafflesncream

let me know if you want a tag!!!

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sckyie · 3 years

Text

word count: 2.1k

genre + warnings: slight angst + family fluff; slight arguments between bo & gf, dad!bokuto, mom!reader, sharing a bed w/family

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: im not even gonna apologize im like so bad at posting on time

It was a hard break up between the two of you. Although it was mutual, the after effects was worse. You found out you were pregnant, postpartum depression, constant court battles, and struggling with just to put food on the table. In the end, with Keigo at now three years old, you two had shared custody of him.

You had finished cleaning up Keigo's room from it being empty the past week. You had just built him a new bed from him outgrowing the last. After putting away your cleaning supplies, you walked to your bedroom to crawl into your sheets. You slowly drifted to sleep thinking about how empty the house felt when your son was gone.

Even if you grew used to the lonesome halls, you didn't like the quiet halls all to yourself. You missed having someone to come home to but since the break up and since Keigo, you hadn't thought about a relationship for a while. All the while your ex had fully moved on.

Bokuto had a new girlfriend, new house, and had moved on in his career. To him, you were nothing more than his kid's mother, or so you thought. There were times where he missed having you around and he sees pieces of you through his son. But, nonetheless he moved on and finds himself with struggling now.

"You can't just say that about Keigo!" Bokuto argued. "My son comes before everything, before you, before my career-"

"Before me? I'm your girlfriend! Why should that bastard child come before me?" Yui yelled. "He shouldn't even come before his mom. I don't understand why she even matters so much to you anymore!"

"She's my son's mother of course she matters!" Bokuto was fuming hearing these words coming out of her mouth. "Don't ever call Keigo a bastard child! Get out of my house!"

"Like hell I'll leave! I'm not moving! You either pick me or that little monster." She yelled. Bokuto raised his eyebrows and scoffed. Without speaking, he picked up his keys and wallet. "Where are you going?"

"Taking my son away from you," He glances back.

"Oh yeah? And where would you even go?" Yui says.

"Like hell I'd tell you," He says. "When I get back though, all your things better be gone. If anything of mine is missing, I'm suing you. We're done."

Bokuto continued on to his son's room and the anger boiling in him diminished after seeing his sleeping figure. He slept just like his father, his body sprawled all over, his toy lamb in one hand and drool down the side of his face.

"Keigo, hey buddy," Bokuto carefully woke his son up.

"Mm? Is morning Papa?" Keigo stirred.

"No, bud, we're going to Mama's," Bokuto says. Keigo instantly perked up. Just like his dad, his immediate amount of energy got him ready to see his mom. "We're gonna stay at Mama's for a while so only take your bag and your lamb for you to sleep-"

"Are you sleeping at Mama's?" Keigo rubs his eyes, holding his stuffed sheep close to his side. Bokuto nods, putting some of his son's necessities in his bag. "Why?"

"Yui and I are...not being nice to each other right now. Papa just needs to stay somewhere else," He says.

Bokuto carried his sleepy son to the car passed Yui to avoid any questions from him. Though, he did as more and more questions throughout the car ride. "Papa look Lamb-Lamb is driving like you," He shows off his toy. "Wait Papa? I thought Mama and Papa don't like each otver."

"It's not that we don't like each other baby, Mama and Papa used to love each other so much, that's how you were born..." Bokuto paused. "It's just Papa hadn't showed Mama he loved her enough that we chose to spend time apart. It's okay baby, I just hope Mama will let us sleep over."

Pulling into the driveway, Bokuto looks at the clock and sees how late it is. Letting out a big sigh, he goes to help Keigo out of his car seat. His little hand wraps around his dad's finger as they walk the path up to your front door. Keigo plays with his shoes as Bokuto nervously fiddles with his keys.

The door rang as you stirred in your sleep. You pulled off your comforter and turned to your alarm clock to see that it was past midnight. Knowing you had work tomorrow, you were irritated to check the door. Who could possibly be here at this hour?

You threw on a cardigan to cover your pajamas and walked into your cold living room. You peeked into the peephole and saw a familiar tall figure with a little boy clinging onto him. You quickly open the door, confused to see the two.

"Mama!" Keigo practically jumps into your arms.

"Hi Bubbas, what are you doing here so late?" You ask.

"Yui and I got into an argument and she said some...choice words about Keigo. I told her to leave and she gave me an ultimatum. So we left and now we're here," Bokuto scratches the back of his neck.

"Can we stay wif you Mama?" He says into your neck. "Papa and I don't wanna stay with Yui."

"Of course you can stay," You say putting Keigo down, letting him hug your leg as you turned to Bokuto.

It was awkward to say the least. Spending the night with your ex-fiancé can't be that bad right? "Kotaro you don't mind sleeping in the living room right?"

"No! Papa and Mama sleep in the same room!" Keigo tugged at your shirt. "I wan Papa to sleep next to you because Mama's and Papa's always sleep next to each otver. Like how Yui sleeps next to Papa!"

"You're so smart, Bub," You gritted your teeth. "But Papa isn't with me remember? He loves Yui, so he can't sleep next to Mama." You took a look at Bokuto but could tell he was uncomfortable at the sound of his now ex-girlfriend's voice.

"Please?" Keigo's eyes began to water, hinting that he wasn't just tired but he wanted his way too. "I wanna snuggle in Mama's bed with Papa."

You looked at Bokuto, both of you felt guilty if you had turned your son down. It was just for one night, right? You guided the two boys to the room and flicked on the lights for Keigo to find his way. "Papa look at Mama's big bed!" He runs and jumps into the center of the king size bed. "It can fit all of us!"

Bokuto chuckles at your guys' son and sits on the left side of the bed. Keigo notices and began to whine and push his dad off the bed. "Woah bud, I thought you wanted me to sleep with you guys, why are you pushing me off?" He asks.

"Mama sleeps on that side," He points out.

"Ko, can you turn on the lamp?" You ask, shrugging off your cardigan. You flick off the light, leaving the dim light beside your bed. Your ex-fiancé and his mini-me both yawn in sync as they adjust the sheets. "Let get some snuggles bubbas."

"I love you Mama," Keigo kisses your nose once you laid in bed beside him. He flips over and kisses Bokuto's noses and whispers, "I love you Papa."

The three of you slowly drift off into sleep. It was a peaceful thing. The three of you asleep together like a family for the first time. Bokuto had shifted in his sleep to hold onto both you and Keigo. Both your legs intertwined and your bodies encompassed each other's warmth.

Bokuto was the first to wake up. He woke up to the blinds letting sunlight hit his eyes. He slowly looked around the orange tinted view and spotted you directly in front of him. Keigo had snuggled close to your chest like he always did whenever he was sleeping in bed with you. Bokuto smiled when he saw you like this. Though he didn't say it, he knew.

He was still in love.

You were his first love, his first true love that he could show off to people. The type that made people feel jealous that you were even a couple. It wasn't anything bad between you two when you broke up. Just time, Bokuto couldn't manage any of it. He wasn't showing you he loved you like he did. He didn't make time for you. He didn't know when to show up for you. It wasn't enough and so you broke up.

You slowly woke up with your body regularly waking up to the early morning. Your fuzzy vision locks onto Bokuto's figure and you smiled slightly. You rubbed your eyes to focus your sight and saw him smiling back at you. "You still snore," You pinch his nose and carefully shift out of bed not moving Keigo. "I have to get ready for work. There's coffee in the kitchen and food in the fridge. Keigo's not going to wake up until around nine, so you can make breakfast if you want."

"What are you going to do?" He asks as he moves a piece of hair out of your face.

"Shower, now shoo," You say. You walked into the bathroom locking the door behind you. Your cheeks were bright pink while Bokuto threw up his hands hiding his face.

Once out of the shower, blow dried your hair and got dressed. Just in time to hear Bokuto calling you that he made you coffee. "Here, just how you like it," He serves. You accept the cup sipping on the beverage, trying to ignore the tension between you two. "You can go to work early, I can take Keigo out today since I have the day off."

"Maybe I should take a day off for a family day," You laughed.

"Keigo'd like that," Bokuto suggested.

"I know he would but...I'm just...y'know," You hesitate.

"I know," Bokuto responds. "But, I'd rather spend one family day with you than anymore with Yui."

"Is that true?" You ask, fiddling with your mug. Bokuto hummed in response. He took a step forward to lean beside you on the counter. It was a strange feeling. "Ko...Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, something bothering you?" He sipped is coffee.

"Do you...still...think about me?" Why were you asking this? It's not right to be asking this but you wonder if you're still on his mind. At some point in time you were there the love of his life, so could there be a chance?

"Everytime I look at Keigo," Bokuto says without hesitation. That's when you felt it. A flutter in your heart told you there was still hope for the two of you. The glow on your cheeks spread as you go to message your boss about your day off. You looked up to see Bokuto gleaming as you finished typing. "Thank you Y/n," He says. You smile back but something in the air shifts between you two.

Your eyes meet. The wholesome smile fades and the nostalgic feeling of your past relationship is brought back with a single look. Before you knew it, you both found yourselves leaning over the counters. Your breath just grazed over his lips before placing it on his. It was almost like putting the last piece in a puzzle. Both your lips moved together as if you two had never broken up.

What were you doing? You knew kissing your ex-fiancé was wrong but you weren't stopping yourself. Bokuto's hand rested on your cheek as you deepened the kiss. He hummed as you two felt one another's lips after so long. Only until you heard the bedroom door open, you pulled away slowly. "Mama? Papa?" Keigo asks sleepily. He drags Lamb-Lamb on the floor as he enters the kitchen looking for his parents. Bokuto smiles at your rosy cheeks before kissing your nose and walking to pick up his son.

"Good morning buddy," He kisses Keigo's cheeks.

"G'morning," He says groggily.

"Good morning my Bubbas," You smiled walking over to greet your half awake son. You peck his cheek as he rubs both his hands along your warm face. "You wanna spend the day with Papa and I?" His eyes light up and nodded excitedly.

"Can we go to the beach, Papa? I wanna show Mama how I spike!" He asks very excitedly. The three of you continued to discuss your day plans with thoughts of breakfast, volleyball, and lots of giggles. Little did you know, that this was the first of many of your family days. That old nostalgic love was blooming once again from this single morning.

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @just-a-siiimp @d0llpie @elianetsantana

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

Text

Cherry Wine (Miss Venable x reader)

well..hi :) i guess we have trash in this fanfic, but pls listen to “Cherry Wine” by Hozier while u r reading this, coz this is another song fanfic haha

warnings: toxic relationship, bruises, abusive gf,..

google translate

If you had to describe what was most beautiful thing in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

That probably sounds pretty cheesy, but actually it was sad.

Waking up next to your sleeping girlfriend in the morning was everything for you and if you sometimes doubted your relationship it was enough to kill all of your doubts.

Beep Beep Beep

You blinked sleepily and quickly reached under your pillow to turn off your alarm clock. No way, did you want her to wake up because of you.

For a few seconds you lay quietly on your back with your eyes closed, afraid that your alarm clock might have woken her after all. But there was nothing ..

Before you opened your eyes, you focused on the things you were perceiving as you always did to ground yourself.

You felt the bed beneath you, the disgusting taste in your mouth and through your closed eyelids you could feel the light that shone in through the curtains. And then of course you felt her.

You could hear her breathing, you smelled her lavender perfume and then there was her arm around your waist. Her cool fingers had wandered under your t-shirt at night and were now caressing the bruises she had inflicted on you the day before, when you had once again not done the things the way she wanted.

--------------

Her eyes and words are so icy Oh but she burns Like rum on the fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire.

You winced when the front door slammed loudly.

"Mina .." you shouted happily and quickly wiped your hands on your shirt before running into the hallway to greet your girlfriend.

"How was your day, honey?", You stared at her nervously and watched her as she hung her coat on the cloakroom. She was obviously not in a good mood.

"Is everything okay Mina? You look-"

"Didn't I tell you to clean up the hallway?" She hissed and glared at you menacingly.

You raised your hand soothingly

"I do it after dinner .. My boss wanted to speak to me in his office after work today and I just got home.. I've only just started to cook .."

"You could have cleaned up this morning .." she scolded as she got closer and let you stagger backwards.

"And what did your disabled boss want from you?"

"I..Uhm he..I mean..he .." you stuttered.

"Jesus, Y / N ..", she spat and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Fearful you looked up into her eyes, which stared dangerously down at you. You couldn't tell her that, she would be so angry.

"He saw the bruises and asked if everything was okay with you and me.." you uttered and closed your eyes.

The next sound you heard was a loud clap and not a second later you felt a sharp pain in your left cheek.

"Mina ..", you gasped and lifted your eyes trembling at her. Tears welled up in your eyes.

"Stop crying, Y / N .." she hissed and looked at you condescendingly.

"Our private life is none of this asshole's business .."

You nodded quickly as you rubbed your cheek.

"I told him I fell down the stairs .."

"Good girl.."

It looks ugly, but it's clean, Oh momma, don't fuss over me.

--------------------

You opened your eyes and stared at the white ceiling for a moment. You just wanted to be her good girl, that's all ... why was it so hard?

As carefully as possible, you turned your body on its side to face her. She was so beautiful.

Her long red hair was disheveled and reflected the light of the morning sun. You wanted so much to reach out a hand to brush the stray hair from her face, but then she would wake up because of you and all the rest would be over. You even set an alarm clock to watch her asleep.

------------------

"See you then, Mina .." you mumbled before running towards the front door as quickly as possible.

"Where do you think you're going?", Her voice sounded shrill and you heard her limping into the hallway behind you.

"It's Jessica's birthday today .." you said quickly as you turned around.

"We talked about it yesterday .."

Mina frowned.

"I don't remember that .."

"I even put it in the calendar .." you tried further and looked nervously at your watch.

"Mina, I really have to go ... I'm way too late .."

"I actually thought we could spend the night together.." she said, suddenly sounding sad. Immediately you felt guilty.

"You know, we could watch a movie, for once I could cook for you again and we haven't had sex for weeks .."

You stared at her. She always did that at moments like this. And you lovesick idiot craved her affection so badly.

"Please Y / N .." she said and smiled gently at you.

Damn she knew you too good ... you would kill for that smile. Everything you did for her, you did just because you wanted to see her smile. It made you so fucking happy.

"I think I can call Jessica and tell her I'm sick or something .." you mumbled and immediately hated yourself for it. Jessica was your best friend.

--------------------

Of course, you remembered the next day when you saw Jessica at work and she was incredibly angry. It was no secret that Jessica hated Mina. She said Mina wouldn't do you any good, but Jessica had no idea. Mina loved you, you knew that. She was just very complicated.

Your eyes traveled from Mina's hair to her face. She always looked so peaceful when she slept. Any harshness, all the severity had escaped from her face and she looked almost harmless.

But you knew better and sometimes you wondered how you got into this disaster.

You remembered the evening when your cousin dragged you to that party at work and you met Mina. Her dominance intimidated you and you fell in love with her immediately. Your cousin, who has not worked at kineros robotics for a long time, had advised you not to mess with her boss, but you couldn't help it.

You winced when her hand suddenly gripped your waist tightly and she pulled you closer to her. Usually you liked that, but now her hand was pressing against your fresh bruises and making you shiver. You let out a low whimper as tears stung your eyes and immediately you clapped your hand over your mouth.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

---------------

"Okay, what's your problem?" She scolded and hobbled into the living room when you had ignored her calls.

You sat on the sofa and played with the pillow in your lap.

"We have been living together for 2 years and have known each other for 4 .." you said without looking at her. Mina frowned.

"So what?"

You lifted your eyes and looked at her sadly.

"Why the hell did you tell your stupid secretary I was your flatmate ?? Are you kidding me?"

"My private life is none of my employees' business .." said Mina, who raised an eyebrow at your aggressive tone.

"Then you shouldn't have taken me to your stupid New Years party .." you growled and stood up.

"Am I just a flatmate? I mean, do flatmates fuck like we do? Do flatmates share a bed? Do they-"

"Be careful, Y / N ..", Mina hissed and stared at you dangerously.

"I think someone drank a little bit too much."

"Fuck you .." you mumbled.

"I go to Jessica .."

You tried to walk past her, but she grabbed your neck and pressed you against the back of the sofa. While she held your chin between her thumb and forefinger, the rest of her hand pressed against your neck and cut off your air. And while you stared at her in fear, you didn't know which was worse: the feeling of choking at any moment or the feeling that your jaw was about to break.

"You listen to me well now..", Mina spat and let the grip around your neck tighten a little. Desperately you gasped for air.

"Who owns the house? I do. Who brings the most money home? I do. Who paid for the ugly clothes you're wearing right now? I did.

You can go if you want, but if you do, you don't need to come back .. Besides, where should you be able to go? Your parents hate you, Jessica hates you .. And should you really decide to go, I'll make sure that everyone else hates you too .. You know that I can do that ... "she threatened. You heard her words but only million miles away, you were too focused on breathing.

"Mina please .." you gasped as your vision became blurred. It was too much.

"You're really pathetic .." she spat before finally letting go of your throat and you immediately gasped for air.

While you held on to the sofa, panting, your other hand rubbed your jaw. It almost felt like she broke it. Your gaze wandered carefully to Mina, who leaned on the stick with both hands and glared at you angrily.

Calls of guilty thrown at me All while she stains The sheets of some other Thrown at me so powerfully Just like she throws with the arm of her brother.

You just stared at each other for a moment before she grabbed your arm and pulled you into the kitchen, which you two had left untidy.

No, which YOU left untidy.

She let go of your arm in the door frame and left you there as she walked past you into the kitchen.

"Do you see this mess?" She barked and you nodded quickly.

"Who made this mess?"

"I .." you mumbled quietly.

"I can't hear you .." she hissed and raised her eyebrows.

"I .. "you repeated out loud, nervously rubbing your aching arm.

"Yes, exactly you .." she scolded and made you flinch when she threw a plate on the floor and it shattered into a thousand pieces.

"YOUR chaos in MY house ..", another plate flew on the floor.

"YOU live on MY money ..", this time it was a cup.

"And YOU are MY girlfriend and not the other way around and if I think it's right to keep that to myself, then that's my damn decision ..." she screamed, her jaw trembling.

You just stared at her and didn't dare to move when she suddenly grabbed a glass and threw it at you before it splintered on the door frame next to you. Immediately you woke up from your stupor and let out a little scream, before you turned around and ran into the bathroom to lock the door behind you.

Breathe Y / N, breathe

You pressed your back against the bathroom door and slid down the wood. Your hands caught in your hair as you pulled your knees up to your chest and began to sob softly into your jeans.

That damn glass was supposed to hit you ..

Mina had already done a lot to you, hit you, choked you, spat on you, but this glass broke right next to your head. The broken pieces could have hit your eyes.

You didn't understand what her problem was .. You loved Mina so much and all you wanted was to see her smile, but apparently you always made things worse.

At some point your crying had calmed down and you could breathe again.

You closed your eyes and focused again on the things you were feeling. You could feel the wooden door on your back while your fingers dug into the soft carpet. In your mouth it tasted like the salt of your tears and you smelled the air freshener in the bathroom. In the end there was only what you heard, but there was nothing, just silence.

You pressed your ear against the bathroom door, but you couldn't hear anything. You'd probably been sitting here for hours and Mina went to bed.

You stood carefully up with shaky legs and lean on the bathtub.

When you stood, you couldn't help but look in the mirror.

Holy shit

You looked like shit. Your hair was disheveled, the elaborate make-up had run and then there were those dark spots on your jaw and neck. There she had marked you ..

But I want it It's a crime That she's not around most of the time. The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

You carefully stretched your fingers towards the bruises, only to regret it straight away as pain twitched through your body. Your hand slid down to grab the cool handle of the sink and then turn it up. Cold water splashed into your hand and you bent down to wash your face. Which turned out to be relatively difficult because you had to avoid your jaw. After washing your face, you grabbed the brush to comb your hair. Satisfied, you found that you only looked half as bad as you did a few minutes ago.

As you stepped out into the hallway you immediately noticed that all the lights were off and still you couldn't hear anything ... She had actually gone to bed. You didn't have to think twice when you decided to go back into the living room to sleep on the couch.

You carefully lay on your side and pulled the soft wool blanket over you.

You had no idea what time it was, you didn't really care. All you wanted was to sleep, even though you were terrified of waking up the next morning.

You were already half asleep when you heard the tap of her stick in the hallway. Immediately you opened your eyes again and pulled the covers a little tighter to your shoulders.

"Y / N?" You heard her voice softly from the hallway and you began to shiver slightly. She didn't sound like the Mina who had thrown the glass at her earlier.

"Are you awake?", She tried again and suddenly switched on the light in the hallway.

She stepped into the living room and saw you lying on the sofa. You ignored her and stared at the bookshelf opposite the sofa.

"Why aren't you in bed?" She asked as she sat on the edge of the sofa and put a hand on your thigh, which made you wince.

"I didn't want to .." you muttered, still staring at the bookcase.

"I am so so sorry .." you heard her whisper. You carefully directed your gaze to her and met her worried eyes.

"You always say that afterwards .." you replied courageously and sat up. Mina stared at the bruises on your jaw. She carefully raised her hand to your jaw and ran her fingers over it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. At any moment her grip could be get firmer again.

"Does it hurt?" She asked softly.

"Only when you touch it .."

Immediately her hand jerked back into her lap.

"I..uhm..wait here for a moment .."

You watched her get up and walk out of the room only to come back a minute later with a jar in hand.

You frowned in confusion when she sat down next to you again and you realized that the jar was the lotion for her back.

"I thought it might help your bruises too .." she explained when she noticed your confusion. You didn't answer and watched as she took the lid off the jar and applied some of the lotion to her fingers.

"May I..?" She asked as she reached out her hand to your jaw again. You nodded slowly and she carefully began to spread the lotion on your abused skin. Your eyes never left hers and you wondered why she was just this way to you when she apologized or when she wanted something from you.

You wanted her to always be like that to you and you would work so much for it that it was like that at some point.

Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing.

"Do you forgive me?" She asked, putting her hand on your cheek. You automatically leaned into her touch and wished you could do something like that more often.

"Of course I do .." you said and smiled gently.

..Like I always do

--------------------

"Hello princess ..", her sleepy voice purred in your ear and she hugged you a little tighter.

You carefully turned your head towards her to stare straight into her brown eyes.

If the eyes really were the gate to the soul, then this gate seemed to be closed. No matter how many times you looked for answers in her eyes, you would never find an explanation for her behavior. Often you saw fire, poison and cold in her eyes at the same time and then there were moments like this when you couldn't see any of the hate, just love.

"Did I wake you up?" You whispered and were scared for a moment, but she quickly shook her head.

"No..You know, I dreamed of you, princess .." she smiled as she started to play with your hair.

"Oh yes?"

"Mhm .." she hummed and began to press gentle kisses against your face.

"We were on the beach in Italy .."

"Italy .." you repeated with closed eyes and tried to suppress the tears that welled up in you. It was all so contradicting itself. While one hand gently scratched your scalp, the other was still squeezing the bruises on your waist.

Yesterday she had yelled at you and told you, how ungrateful you were and this morning she told you, that she had dreamed of you and was so lovely with you.

It was like having a relationship with two people at the same time. And you knew that she was breaking you more and more every day. But you could never leave her, she had put you under her spell and you were like cement in her hands

And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time

If you had to describe what was most beautiful in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

Because no matter how angry she was the night before, she would always be gentle with you in the morning and that was the only thing you wanted.

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

#wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable #american horror story

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marvel-sluts · 3 years

Text

please don't go.

request: Can I request prompts 3. Please don't go & 16. Enemies to lovers with Tom Holland? 😊 - @palna (sorry it won't let me tag you)

prompt list

pairing: Tom Holland x reader

warnings: swearing, emotional abuse, angst, fluff

summary: you worked with Tom on set and ever since the first day he hated you. one day he overhears a phone call between you and your Dad, making him feel horrible for how he treated you.

a/n: im planning on making a masterlist soon so look out for it! anyway, enjoy lovlies!

***********

you opened the door to your apartment after a hard day at work. flopping onto the sofa and turning on the TV, not really paying attention to the six o'clock news.

that bloody Holland kid thinks he has the right to make your life a living hell. from the moment you met him he hated you.

you walk into the room flashing a smile to the people in there. you had been chosen to play a part in the new spider man movie. having quite a few successful movies under your belt you were well known.

you went round shaking hands with people, each one of them greeting you with a small smile and a hello. that was until you reached a certain individual.

"hi, I'm y/n" you say holding out you hand.

he looked you up and down with a grimace and looked at your outstretched hand, taking it in his and shaking it roughly.

"Holland, Tom Holland."

the buzz of you phone wakes you from your trance and you looked down to see your best friends name flash on the screen.

you quickly answer the phone and her voice can be heard throughout the room.

"sorry to bother you like this y/n but can we go out tonight? I had a shit day at work and need someone to take my mind off of it." she said.

"you read my mind, where do you want to go?" you ask, relieved to have an excuse to leave the house.

"how about the bar down the road from your house?" she said.

"sure, let me get changed out of my clothes first."

"okay I will be at your house in half an hour." she said hanging up the phone.

you run up the stairs and put on a black skirt and a pink shirt, touching up your makeup from filming and pulling on a pair of boots.

a few minutes later b/f/n (best friends name) rings the doorbell of your apartment and you go to greet her.

you reached the bar and grabbed one of the only remaining tables.

"so, what made your day so shitty?" you asked taking a sip of your gin.

"just my dickhead of a manager. he has given me about 5 projects and is expecting them all done by next week." she sighs rolling her eyes at you.

you snort into your drink "like your gonna get all of that done in such a short amount of time." you say.

"I know right. anyway whats going on with you?" she asked, knowing something was up. "is it that Holland guy again? I swear to god I will punch his nose in if he's done anything to you." she said, knowing how much he bothers you.

"there is nothing that you can do. he just gets on my nerves. I don't know what his deal is with me." you say.

"what does he do?"

"glares at me alot, won't speak to me unless its to criticise what I'm doing and just overall makes my life miserable." you say with a sigh.

"and you dad...?" b/f/n asked.

"same as usual, he still hates me and continues to tell me how much of a failure I am." you say rolling your eyes. your dad was a dick, you and him had never gotten on.

"I know, you just have to ignore him. he just doesn't see how amazing you are." she said smiling at you.

"I guess..."

after a few hours of talking and forgetting your problems. b/f/n drove you home.

after getting undressed you collapsed on your bed, exhausted. falling asleep within seconds.

******

you woke up with a start and checked your phone. shit. you had slept through your alarm and you were going to be late for filming.

quickly pulling on clothes and fixing your hair and makeup you ran to your car and got to set only 15 minutes late.

"oh here she is, finally decided to show up did you?" came a chastising voice.

you sighed, knowing immediately who it was, choosing to ignore the comment you walked to your trailer.

the hair and makeup team quickly got to work on you, making you look amazing within minutes.

after throwing a quick thanks over your shoulder, you rushed to set and got told what scene they were filming and where to stand.

half an hour later you heard a "and cut, great job guys. go and get read for the next scene."

you quickly checked your script and realised that you were needed for the next scene, opting to go to your trailer and wait to be called.

suddenly your phone rang, making you jump. you picked it up before checking who it was, assuming it was b/f/n.

"oh you've finally decided to stop ignoring my calls have you?"

shit, it was your Dad. "hey dad, and for the record I wasn't ignoring them. I was working."

"yeah, what job again? that acting thing of yours? how many times y/n, thats not a job."

"okay" you whispered quietly, just wanting this to be over.

"your such a worthless bitch you know that? even your Mum thought that before she died. it was probably you who killed her. admit it y/n. you killed her." he said, trying to press your buttons.

"how many times Dad, the doctors said that she died of a heart attack. it wasn't me." you say.

"pfft, your just covering for yourself. how about you buy me a new house to make up for it?"

"Dad, I just bought you a new house, and a new car. surely you can't need anything bigger." you say, knowing he is just using you but feeling guilty for saying no nevertheless.

"well I want new house, maybe somewhere by the sea. or some big mansion." he said.

"but Dad i was planning on giving some of that money to charity and the rest was going to s/n (siblings name) school fund. so that they can go to a good school."

"fuck s/n, I want a new house. and if you don't then you really would be as fucking annoying as your mother. your no good for anything." he said, hanging up the phone.

a tear trickled down your face. you should have known all he wanted was a new house, new car. why not get a new fucking kid while he's at it. you bought him a new car last month and a new house the month before that, surely he doesn't need another one.

a knock was heard on the door of the trailer that you had accidentally left open. you spun around to see Tom, worry etched across his face. he walked into your trailer.

"hey y/n, are you okay?" he asked, putting a hand on your arm.

"get off of me" you say, shrugging him off. "why would you care anyway, you've had this grudge against me ever since I started here."

Tom's face fell. "I'm sorry y/n I didnt mean to treat you like that."

"then what did you mean to treat me like because it was pretty damn obvious that you hated me. everyone saw it." you said.

"it wasn't you." he said looking down shamefully.

"look if this is about what you overheard with my Dad, don't worry about it. don't tell anyone and continue treating me like shit." you say, turning away from him again.

"no y/n what I overheard made me feel really guilty for treating you how I did. what I did was wrong and it wasn't your fault for how I treated you." he said, grabbing you and forcing you to look at him.

"then why did you do that to me?" you asked, confused.

"just before we started filming me and my girlfriend had broken up, she was toxic and would hit me and scream at me." he said, tears clouding his vision. "the day we started filming was the day I ended it with her, so I wasn't in the best mood. but when you walked in I could of sworn it was her. your hair and eyes are similar but your face is completely different."

"so from a distance I looked like her?" you asked, beginning to put the peices together in your head.

"yes. you had such a kind personality, always caring about others and everyone else loved you. but I couldn't get it out of my head. I guess that's why I treated you so badly, because you looked so much like her."

"Tom you could have just said something, I would have understood." you say, looking at him.

"I know I'm sorry." he said. "how are you, what happened with your Dad?" he asked.

"he keeps asking for new stuff, I just bought him a new house but he wants another one, and he wants a new car when he has the newest model. but at the same time he's always telling me how worthless and stupid I am, and how this acting thing isn't a proper job." you say, "maybe I'm just being selfish."

"no y/n, your not being selfish. I heard what you wanted to put that money towards instead of buying him stuff that he doesn't need. a selfish person wouldn't give to charity and help with paying for s/n schooling."

"are you sure?" you asked, doubt seeping in.

"very sure." he said, "is there anything you need, I could say that you are ill or something, give you some time to think over what happened with your Dad?"

"no I'm okay." you say.

"how about you come round to mine after work, we could talk everything out."

"yeah okay, I'd like that."

******

after filming was over, you drove over to Tom's apartment. he answered the door quickly and let you in.

you sat down on his sofa and admired the little things he had "borrowed" from the sets of different movies.

"do you want a drink?" he called from the kitchen.

"can I have a f/d (favourite drink) please?" you call back.

"sure."

he came back in with your drink and a coke for him.

"look about what happened today with my Dad, I never meant for you to overhear that and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone." you say, looking down at your drink.

"your secrets safe with me, and if you don't mind me saying. your Dad is a bit of a dick." he said, smiling kindly at you.

"tell me about it." you laughed. "he's been like that ever since I can remember, he's always favoured my siblings over me." you say bitterly.

"well don't tell them but I prefer you." Tom said, trying to cheer you up a bit. "and I'm glad I overheard that conversation, because it made me think about I had treated you. and I'm starting to think that there was maybe another reason I didn't like you." he said sheepishly.

"and whats that?" you ask.

"I kind of liked you. I still do. after what happened with my last relationship I was scared I guess but I don't want to fuck anything up. I really like you y/n, I never meant to treat you like I did but I was pushing you away so that I didn't fall further than I already have." he said, blushing furiously.

"well Tom, maybe I like you too. thats why it hurt so much when you were horrible to me." you say. "do you just like me because I look like her?"

"no no no, that's not it at all. I like you because you have this sort of aura around you, people love you and your so nice to people." he said. "I like you because of your personality, the fact that you look slightly like a toxic ex has nothing to do with it." he added as an afterthought.

"aura?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

"yeah, people sort of want to protect the innocence you radiate. your aura makes everyone love you and it's how your smile brightens up a room and how you look when the sunlight hits your features." he said, gently placing his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you, and it's my fault, but maybe we can start again?" he asked.

"okay." you say smiling up at him. before pulling away from his hand and sticking out your own. "y/n y/l/n, nice to meet you." you say.

"Tom Holland, pleasure." he said shaking your hand.

you turned around as the shrill sound of your phone broke the brief silence, checking the called ID this time you saw Dad appear on the screen. you look over at Tom in fear, showing him the screen.

"answer him y/n, maybe he wants to apologise. and I'll be right here with you" Tom said, flashing you a reassuring smile.

"okay" you said picking up the phone and putting it on speaker so that Tom could hear better. motioning to him to be quiet, him nodding in response.

"hi Dad." the fear in your voice evident.

"how's the new house you were going to buy me coming along? don't forget I want a big one." he said.

"actually Dad, I've thought about it and I just bought you a new car and house. the money is going towards s/n schooling and charity. I don’t think that you need anything else." you say, smiling weakly at Tom who gave you a thumbs up. egging you on.

"I don't care what you think, I'm your parent and you should listen to me. you are such a selfish bitch I don't even know why I bothered with you." he spat down the phone. "you are just a waste of space and I don't know how you made all of this money, who would ever want to employ you?"

"Dad you're not guilt tripping me into buying anything for you like you did last time. I'm not doing it." you say, tears beginning to cloud your vision. Tom noticed this and put his hand on your leg gently. in order to calm you down.

"you're such a fucking bitch. I never want to see or hear you again." he spat, hanging up.

as soon as he had hung up the phone, tears started falling down your face. Tom reached up and wiped away some of your tears before pulling you into his chest.

"hey hey hey, it's okay calm down." he said kissing your forehead and pulling you back into his arms.

"he hates me and its all my fault." you choke out before collapsing into tears again.

"its not your fault, your Dad is just being selfish and is only using you for your money. don't listen to him." he said, stroking your hair to comfort you.

"do you want me to go and get you something? ice cream maybe?" Tom asked.

"no, please don't go. I need you." you say.

"okay, I'm right here love. don't worry I'm not going anywhere." he said.

eventually you fell asleep, with his arms around you and your head on his chest. before Tom drifted off he kissed your temple and whispered "I'm so sorry y/n, I love you."

#tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #marvel #peter parker x reader smut #peter parker x reader #tom holland x oc #tom holland #tom holland x original character #the avengers x teen! reader #the avengers #avengers #mcu #peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader fluff

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colormeyondublue · 3 years

Text

Chapter 8: Trenvik

Chapter 7 Here - Chapter 9 Here

The next morning, you wake up feeling a little nervous. Yondu’s words and anxious behavior are still fresh in your mind. You wonder to yourself who these disloyal men may be. You have an idea who a few might be, but they’ve never really bothered you apart from the occasional catcall. Most of the time if you made a snide comment back, they would leave you alone. You idly get ready and fix your hair in a braid. This morning feels strange.

A knock at your cabin door breaks your train of thought. You head toward the door, putting on that silver bracelet Yondu got you. You open your door and find the most unexpected face there to greet you.

It was Trenvik.

Trenvik was a race that you had never seen or heard of before boarding the Eclector. Kraglin told you he was Chorak. Apparently, they were an isolated kind and they were not sociable. He was…odd to say the least. He has lemon yellow skin, with puke green blotches covering his neck and face. His eyes are a piercing green with yellow speckles, and he has goat-like pupils. His facial features are sharp and hollow, and he is totally hairless. Trenvik leans against the doorframe with two of his 4 arms. The other two arms are above you, all 6 fingers gripping the ledge over your head. He was tall – very tall. You would guess around 7 feet. His body was lanky and lean. You recall he has a very unnerving gait to his walk. Something about him always made you very uncomfortable. Maybe it was the croaking sound that always seemed to seep from his throat when he would pass you on the ship. It could have been the fact that you had caught him staring at you a number of times in the mess. He’s never spoken to you – until now.

“Y/n.”

“Uhh…Hi. Trenvik – right?”

“Why are you hiding – in your room?”

His words are measured and unnerving. You begin to fidget with your feet, gripping the door handle tighter.

“I’m not hiding, I was actually getting ready to get some breakfast.”

“Breakfast? My dear, it’s almost halfway through the day. You are a bit late for that.” His mouth spreads into a nauseating grin. Sharp, needle-like teeth showing beneath his thin lips. He leans in closer to you.

“Oh my gosh! It’s that late?! I had no idea! I’m sorry, Trenvik, I really need to go.” You try to push past him through the doorway and pull the door closed behind you. “It was nice speaking to you!”

“Not so fast.” He grabs you by your wrist and pushes you against the wall next to your door. “Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me?”

“I – I’m not. I’m just late. I have to get to w-work.” You stutter.

He slowly releases his grip on you. His eyes travel up and down your body, as if he is trying to decide if you’re lying or not. “Very well. We can finish this later.” He finally says.

He takes one step back and you turn to run down the walkway toward your office. Trenvik watching you as you flee.

As you reach your office, you slam the door behind you, breathing rapidly. You start to feel tears welling in your eyes when your wrist comm dings. It’s Yondu.

“Yondu?”

“Hey Darlin’, you alright? I haven’t seen ya all day.”

“Yondu! Umm…yeah. I slept through my alarm. And I’ve been dealing with some weird anxiety today. I just feel strange. On top of that, Trenvik came to my door a little while ago.”

“What did he want?” He asked with clear aggravation in his voice.

“I don’t know. He was just trying to talk to me I think, but it felt creepy – like there was something else. His whole demeanor was sketchy.”

“You in yer office?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Stay right there honey, I’m on my way.”

The comm beeped again, and Yondu was gone. You let out a heavy sigh, and sit down at your desk. Music…I need music. You reach for your holopad and pull up the music files that Kraglin got you a few days prior. You begin to find more and more American music. That was a huge comfort to you, regardless of what era the music was from. A song that came through your speakers almost broke you. “Devil’s Backbone” by The Civil Wars. You heard some of their music when you were back home, but this song was new to you.

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have I done?

I've fallen in love with a man on the run

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please

Don't take that sinner from me

Oh don't take that sinner from me

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do?

I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you

He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone

Oh I just wanna take him home...

You begin to think about the events that unfolded that morning with Trenvik. What if something does happen? What if Yondu does make me go back to Earth? I can’t leave him. He’s everything I never knew I needed. He’s brave and strong and true. Sure, he’s a criminal…but I don’t care. Sure, he’s a pirate, but I love him. I don't want to live a life without him in it. You look up at the screen of the holopad and the tears begin to fall. The last thing you want is to be the reason that Yondu runs into trouble with his crew. You don't want to be the reason someone freaks out and he gets hurt. You definitely don't want to put him in a situation where he would have to hurt someone else. He’s been through so much in his life. From being a battle slave all those years ago, being exiled by Stakar, and now he’s questioning his crew’s loyalty.

...Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not

He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please

Don't take that sinner from me

Oh don't take that sinner from me

What you didn’t know, is that Yondu was already in the room. He’s been silently standing inside the door listening to the music, hearing the lyrics along with your short breaths.

“Y/n?” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“Yondu!” You whip around, tears evident on your cheeks. “I didn’t hear you come in. What did you need?”

“Baby…what’s wrong? Did Trenvik bother ya?” You think his words over and absentmindedly rub your wrist where Trenvik grabbed you earlier. Yondu sees this and he raises his voice, “Did he put his hands on ya?!”

“Well…yes. He grabbed my wrist in the walkway. I’m a little scared of him, but he didn’t say anything hurtful or inappropriate. I just don't like the feeling he gives me. It’s…intrusive and creepy.”

Yondu's expression then turns angry. Eyes flashing with a seething light. Just as he is about to speak, the comm on his wrist beeps and Kraglin could be heard. “Cap’n, the crew is gathered in the mess fer the meeting.”

“Thanks, Kraglin, I’m headed yer way.” Yondu’s eyes meet yours, and he sees how worried you are. He forces his emotions to calm. “I’m gonna go talk to the crew. I’ll get this settled sweetheart, just ya wait and see.” He caresses your jaw with his hand, and places a single kiss on your lips. “Do ya wanna come with me? Ya can stand by me if that makes ya feel better ‘bout the whole thing?”

“I guess so.” You shrug.

“C’mon, darlin’.” He leads you out the doorway and toward the mess. Once there, you and Yondu walk up toward the officers table at the front. The platform you follow him to is raised and Yondu leans in close to you.

“Stay close ta me, I don’t expect much trouble, but I’d rather be safe in case anyone decides to get stupid.”

You take one small step back, but stay near Yondu’s side. The men in the mess are talking amongst themselves loudly. Kraglin approaches the Captain and murmurs, “Everyone is here sir, they’re all yers.”

Yondu clears his throat and lets out one loud, sharp whistle. His arrow flys up to his ear, and the room is immediately silent. Your heart is beating quickly, and you put your hands behind your back so you can fiddle with your fingers without being seen.

“Now…I bet ya’ll are wonderin’ why I called everyone here. It’s been brought ta my attention that some ‘a y’all think that I am keepin ya on a short leash around y/n fer no reason. It ain't fer no reason. Y/n is off limits, because she’s mine! It’s safe fer ya'll ta assume that she is my girl. I don’t want ta hear another complaint from anyone on this ship about y/n being off limits. If anyone has a problem with that, you are free to depart one of two ways: at our next port, which would be Knowhere, or out the airlock! If I get even the tiniest wind of more talk regarding y/n or this mutiny crap that’s been floating around, I will not hesitate to send this arrow straight through yer skull! Is that clear!?”

A resounding “Yes sir!” echoed through the mess.

“Not a single one ‘a ya is ta lay a hand on her. You do not speak to her in a manner she doesn’t like, and if ya do ya’ll can believe that I will know about it, and I will skin ya alive.”

The murmurs began again as Yondu turns to say something to the first mate. You scan over the crowd nervously. You catch Trenvik staring straight through you from the back of the room. His icy stare sending the worst chills down your spine. You overhear some mention of the Captain going soft, and something about you being his personal whore. The word “whore” lights your blood on fire, and you begin to see red. The murmurers start to get louder and the room is clouded with harsh laughter. The noise starts to get overwhelming. Without thinking, you yell into the room as loud and you can manage. Yondu snaps his head in your direction at the sound of your voice.

“SHUT IT!!” Your fists are clenched and your arms are shaking. Yondu can see the rage burning in your eyes. Anger is an emotion he has never seen you wear before. He isn’t sure if he should stop you, or let you continue. He keeps his eyes on you while you speak.

“Most of you in this room only know me as the Secretary – so to speak. Some of you have never spoken to me, where as some of you,” you glance in Tullk and Geff’s direction and smile softly, “talk to me on a regular basis. Yes, I am in a relationship with the Captain. Yes, I am his girl. Now, I have no authority here, but because I am his girl, I will not tolerate any mention of the Captain going soft! Some of you may have no idea what I am. Some of you might not be familiar with where I’m from. Sure, I’m Terran, but I’m more than that. I am human. We care for our own, deeply. We love, we defend and we protect. We Terrans may be small, we might be weak, and hell, we may not even be that smart by galactic standards – but back on my home planet, we have a saying: It takes a village. The meaning is simple…in order to survive, we have to work together. We have to care about each other. For thousands of years, my people have been beating the odds left and right. We’ve survived hostile environments, fierce predators, and devastating plagues. Just 4 Earth years ago, our global population reached over 7 and a half billion people! We survive because we figured out a long time ago that love is our strength, not our weakness.”

Apart from your words, the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You take a big breath in, and continue.

“The point is, this crew could be a whole hell of a lot better off if you guys would trash this idea that caring about someone makes you soft! It’s absolutely ridiculous! Love can bring on a strength in each and every one of you that you never knew you had. It doesn’t even have to be romantic love, it can be something as simple as friendship and respect for one another, and for your Captain. Just know that this entire crew would be so much stronger and much more resilient if you would consider my words. With this knowledge, and with Captain Udonta at the helm, this crew could do anything!”

The crew just stares back at you, with a mixture of bewilderment and confusion on their faces.

“However, Rome wasn’t built in a day. So…just think about it.” You smirk confidently, and cross your arms.

Yondu just stares at you. It’s hard to read what he’s thinking, as he remains expressionless. He looks back out over the crew. “Yer dismissed. Get back ta work!”

Kraglin discreetly says something to Yondu, and he glances at you before leaving the mess as well. Shit…I might have way overstepped my boundaries. Yondu is probably pissed. Great.

Yondu turns to you. “Yer done with yer work fer the day. Come with me.” You follow Yondu out of the mess and straight to his quarters.

#Yondu and The Secretary #Yondu Udonta #yondu x reader #marvel #fanfic #gotg #gotg fanfiction #ravager #kraglin obfonteri #kraglin #eclector

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dwellordream · 3 years

Text

dish duty

freeform for @wayhavensummer as I really wanted to write a water fight

T Rating (for passionate kissing and general tomfoolery) Felix x Detective Esme Kingston, 2000 words

“I wish you were a breakfast in bed kind of person,” Felix complains, though not very passionately, as he finishes what seems like his fourth stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

Esme considers herself a very controlled individual. She dresses neatly and conservatively, her home and office are impeccably organized, and she’s a vegetarian who eats, generally, a very healthy and balanced diet.

However. On the weekends, and especially with Felix’s recent influence, that goes somewhat out the window. Not all the way, but close enough to the edge. No, these are not organic whole wheat dark chocolate chip pancakes. They are the unhealthy kind chock full of additives and preservatives that children adore. But as Tina once said, everything we eat is bioengineered, right?

Felix doesn’t need to eat; well, he doesn’t need to eat a normal human’s diet, unhealthy or healthy, it doesn’t matter. But he likes to, and he has a keen sweet tooth. He claims his taste buds aren’t dulled compared to the rest of Unit Bravo because he was born as he is now, and so he has no memory or experience of eating food as a human to compare it with.

Nothing is lacking for him, because he never had it to begin with. And unlike Mason, ‘loud’ flavors or various textures don’t irk him, so Felix is pretty much willing to try anything, no matter how sweet, spicy, or sour. And especially if it involves chocolate.

“Breakfast in bed on a day like this is a terrible idea,” Esme points out as she gets up to clear her small kitchen table.

It’s not as hot out as it was yesterday, but it’s already very warm for ten o’clock in the morning- they slept in embarrassingly late- and she can tell that by midday it will be unbearable, which is why they have plans to go to an art exhibit in the city.

Esme enjoys long drives and would rather wait out today in air conditioning than suffer through it in her sweltering flat. And Felix is always willing to go to just about anything; it’s all new to him, so why not?

Worst case scenario, he doesn’t like it, and even when Felix isn’t enjoying something, Esme still enjoys him, because rather than sulk or brood he simply strikes up a running commentary on what he thinks they should be doing instead.

Yes, sometimes it’s irritating, but often she has to fight to hide the smiles he strives to coax out of her. She once took him to a lecture at a university and halfway through had to stop looking at him because he found a way to make her grin with just his eyes- the rest of his face was totally stoic.

He worked her up so much she had to excuse herself to get a drink of water, just so she didn’t burst out laughing in the middle of the professor’s droning slide-show. Felix, of course, followed her out into the hall and cornered her in an alcove, where they were sharply reprimanded by a passing janitor a few minutes later, who mistook them for two wild students who couldn’t wait to get back to their dormitory.

A year ago, the thought of this encounter, and of a morning like today, eating syrupy pancakes and lounging around in her pyjamas this late in the day, would have horrified and appalled Esme. But it is very hard to feel guilty or ashamed of anything that happens between her and Felix. Initially that frightened her, that being with him was so… easy. Nothing was ever supposed to be easy, or it wasn’t worth the effort. That had always been her motto.

But now…

“What are you doing?” she sighs, as she watches Felix stack far too many dishes on the palm of one hand, like a particularly adventurous waiter.

“Scoot,” he waves his free hand at her, showing off that he doesn’t even need both to hold them. “You’re in front of the sink.”

Esme shakes her head and steps aside as Felix deposits the rest of their dirty dishes inside the sudsy sink, which she’d just finished filling up with water.

This flat came with a small dishwater but it works terribly and Esme lived alone for so long and used so few dishes that it made more sense to just hand wash them immediately after eating. Felix thinks this is terribly boring but she refuses to have an insect infestation by leaving dirty dishes out for that long.

“I can wash them,” he says now, to her surprise. “You have to go get ready.”

“So do you,” she points out dryly. Yes, she feels oddly exposed in just a camisole and boy shorts, but he’s just in his boxers. She’s doing a very good job of not gawking at him like a schoolgirl.

Felix is not built the way Ava is, with powerful muscles and the stature of a workhorse or, as Mason would put it, a brick shithouse- but nor tall and willowy like Nat or lean and sinewed like Mason. Rather, he is toned and compact- she doesn’t know how else to describe it.

He’s a few inches taller than her, not much wider, and certainly isn’t bulging with muscles or in possession of washboard abs. But the sight of the smooth dark skin of his toned stomach and chest and the way he moves, almost like an acrobat, like he were ready to pitch forward into action at any moment, propelling himself with his arms or legs- gives her a strange combination of desire and envy. He would be an incredible gymnast and he is a beautiful dancer, moving gracefully to any rhythm without having ever heard it before.

In contrast, she feels thin and pallid and wretched- she’s petite and lacks much in the way of fat or muscle- she’s not athletic in the least, her belly forms a small pouch when she slouches, her skinny arms strain and tremble when she lugs heavy boxes of case files in and out of her office, she runs awkwardly and can’t dance to save her life, despite several years of ballet and a ballroom class in uni.

She’d like to be pragmatic and explain it’s just about feeling useful and capable of defending herself, but the truth is she’s vain and self conscious all at once. In her head, she is sleek and hard and beautiful, carved from crystal and not pasty flesh. Compared to Felix, she often feels like a melting snowman.

Felix is busy recounting her entire getting ready routine; Esme rolls her eyes and huffs but waits patiently until he’s done.

“Anyways, I just have to shower,” he shrugs.

“You’re my guest,” says Esme, “I’m not going to leave you to clean up while I powder my nose-,”

“I’m your guest?” he lays a hand on his chest in mock offense, and then his grin turns impish. “Your guest? That stings, Ez. Do all your guests come over late at night-,”

“Felix,” she warns, though her lips are twitching-

“And you sashay over the door and pull it open like, Hello, stranger-,”

“I didn’t say that!”

“No, it was cute!”

“It wasn’t supposed to be cute, you said you wanted me to surprise you, so-,”

“So I was very surprised,” he insists, and then catches her off guard by grabbing her by the hips and pulling her close.

Esme wriggles ineffectively- she’s not really trying to get away, which he knows- and then groans when he crushes her against his chest. He’s not a big man but he gives very big hugs, and she’d be lying if she said the weight and pressure wasn’t reassure, like a heavy quilt bundled around her. But… it’s hot. And he runs hot, too.

She says as much, into his chest, and then, to her alarm, hears him laugh, reach over, scoop up some soapy water with his hand, and drizzle it down her head.

Esme shrieks and rips away from him- Felix’s gold eyes are huge in his face, she can tell he’s torn between delight at his own daring and worry that he pushed her too far and she’s truly infuriated- but instead she touches at her damp hair in shock, then snatches up a wet rag from the counter and flings it at him. It hits him directly in the face; he yelps and bats it away, and she darts back, snickering.

“Oh, so you want a bath instead?” He raises his eyebrows at her.

“No, no, no,” Esme is saying, but the laughter leaking out between her protests says otherwise. “You started it-,”

“Yeah, so I’ll finish it. Come here, Ezza, let me wash you off- you have suds in your hair-,” he feints a lunge at her and she shrieks again, like a giddy teenager, then clamps her hand over her mouth, worrying the neighbors might hear.

Felix has no such concerns, and makes another grab for her- he secures her wrist and she slips on the tiled floor- he takes advantage of this to scoop her up, and flings her over his shoulder, which is barely broad enough for her thrashing torso to fit.

“Oh my God, what are you doing- Felix!” she shouts when he pins her there with one arm, grabs a cup with the other, and dumps water down her back. It’s barely cold but she yelps all the same- he sets her back down, triumphant that now her camisole is drenched and clinging to her, and she darts around him and hits him with a sponge, spraying more soap suds all over his bare chest.

“Wow,” he says. “Wow. That’s weak- that’s a really weak move, Detective, where is your tactical brilliance- okay, pretend I’m a Trapper, what do you do-,” he grabs at her arms to pin them but she successfully ducks out of his reach and hurls the sponge at him as he gives chase out of the kitchen.

“Don’t get water on the floors! I just mopped!”

“You’re the one who took it here!”

She leaps into the bathroom, breathless and trembling with adrenaline and laughter, and tries to slam the door shut in his face, but she never stood a chance of outrunning him- even if they were both human, she wouldn’t have. Still, she notes how careful he is, in the moment, not to crowd her in the confined space, worried about knocking her into the hard porcelain sink or toilet, and he waits until she steps back into the shower, cornered.

His hand hovers near the spout.

“Don’t you dare,” Esme warns.

He turns it on, and cold water cascades down full force onto her, soaking her to the skin. But before she can even flail or sputter, he’s stepped in beside her, wrapping himself around her, the contrast of his warm skin and the cold water making her cling to him all the more.

He kisses her lips, and she tastes soap for an instant, making her grimace, but then he’s moved onto her neck, lips tugging and pulling at the skin there, and she digs her fingers into his shoulder blades as she kisses his jaw in return, dragging her teeth across the corner of his lips.

When he heaves her up so he is half holding her, one hand under her thigh, the other leg stationary, she surges against him until his back is against the tiled wall and they are both directly under the flow of water. Then she gropes at the dial and shuts it off; it extinguishes to a trickle, causing beads to flow down their upturned faces.

She’s panting- he’s not as breathless, but jittery and shivering all over, and not from the cold water.

“Felix,” Esme whispers, and pecks him on the lips again as he reluctantly releases her.

“Yeah?” His pupils are languidly dilating, like a golden bloom.

“You did say you would do the dishes…”

He heaves with silent laughter, and then mouths something at the ceiling. “You’re killing me.”

“I know,” she smiles. “But you started it.”

Out of kindness, she takes a very quick cold shower, so she can help him dry off, too.

#felix hauville #esme kingston #wayhaven summer #the wayhaven chronicles #one shot

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xofanfics · 4 years

Text

String - Part VI

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Baekhyun x Female Reader FT. SEHUN

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: You find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation with your best friend. You have no business falling for him, but your heart begs to differ.

Baekhyun hadn’t heard from you since that night. You hadn’t responded to his text and he had no idea whether you’d listened to his voicemail. And Evie and Sadie were no help either. They said that you’d approach him when you were ready but he was impatient.

Guilt pulled at Baekhyun as if someone was tugging the bottom of his shirt. Even though he had started seeing Kira like he wanted, he still felt pretty guilty about it all. He hadn’t exactly done anything wrong but he knew that he fucked up, morally. It was fucked up to treat you like that, pulling you on a string until he decided what he wanted. You deserved better than that. And he was a hypocrite. He knew that much.

He felt uncomfortable knowing how he left things with you and he wanted to talk to you. He didn’t know the things he needed to say and he wasn’t sure where to begin. All he knew is that he wanted to talk to you. Things probably wouldn’t go back to normal, even if he tried his absolute best.

“Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun looked up from his plate. “Huh?”

“I said what are you thinking about?”

“Just about an old friend.”

Kira frowned. “Did something happen?”

He sighed. “I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Kira didn’t press him about it and he was grateful. Guilt ate at him further as he realized that he wasn’t able to pay his own girlfriend the attention she deserved. His thoughts, somehow, would always shift toward you even in the presence of others.

She didn’t know what was bothering Baekhyun but it was bothering her. Lately, he seemed a little down. Things hadn’t changed too much but he always looked so...troubled. Kira wanted to make him feel better but she didn’t know where to begin. Did he even trust her enough to tell her what was going on in his life? Did he feel like he couldn’t be open with her? Was she not doing enough, as his girlfriend?

She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. She gave it a light squeeze because it was the only comfort she could give him.

You woke up and found yourself staring at the white ceiling as your phone’s alarm went off on the nightstand. You rolled over and shut off the blaring noise. As you sat up in bed, you let out a yawn. You got dressed and started getting ready for your 9AM shift at the waxing salon. The best part about being a receptionist was getting a discount on waxes and not having to do much. This job was a way to put extra money in your pocket and to study and do homework in between the small tasks you had to do to maintain a suitable environment for customers.

You got lost in your skincare routine as you found yourself thinking about Baekhyun again. You hadn’t seen him since that night and you avoided all contact with him within the friend group. Being that they were with Baekhyun a lot, you hadn’t seen the guys much lately. You couldn’t help but feel like the friend group was divided and that some of it was partially your fault.

You thought to yourself, If I see Baekhyun again, I think I could at least say hi…

Sehun occupied your thoughts most of the time but there were times when you gave in to temptation and your thoughts shifted to things like Baekhyun’s award-winning smile. Sehun was a gentleman. To be honest, he was everything you wanted in a guy. He let you know from the beginning that he had intentions of being in a relationship. It was rare to get that much information from a man these days.

He was considerate and he cared about you. And it showed. And when you hung out again last week, things were just as relaxed as last time. You felt like you could be yourself. The two of you went to get gelato in Little Italy, walked to the park, and talked for hours. And when you left each other, he didn’t try to come back to your apartment with you and he didn’t try to kiss you either. You were so used to guys rushing into things that this seemed a bit strange. It was great to meet a man with pure intentions.

Sehun would ask you if you wanted to Facetime a couple times. He’d ask you about your day, about what you ate, about what you were learning in class. He was asking these things because he genuinely wanted to know you. He wanted to know your thoughts, your ideas, and opinions. He wanted to dig deep into you, pulling out as much information as he could. He wanted to be able to paint the perfect picture of you, with his eyes closed shut.

You smiled to yourself as you got off of the train. You had twenty minutes to get to work from the train station. It only took five minutes from the train but you liked to come a bit early to get coffee. Your phone buzzed in your hands. Sehun left you a voice message.

“Hey, Y/N. Good morning! Hope you slept well last night and that you have a good day at work...I’m working from home today, thank God. I’m sick of my boss hovering over me while I’m trying to get work done..” He let out a chuckle. “Anyway, I can’t wait to see you later tonight.”

The two of you planned to go to a jazz lounge tonight. Neither of you had ever been and it seemed like a fun date. That was one thing you enjoyed about Sehun. He was always down to try new things with you. Everything you were experiencing with Sehun felt so new, so exciting. You never felt quite like this before.

You smiled at the sound of Sehun’s voice and, as you were about to send a voice note back, you happened to look up and find Baekhyun walking toward you. You were sure he hadn’t noticed you yet and you hoped to keep it that way. You kept walking, trying your best to remain unnoticed. As you walked past, you were sure he caught a glimpse of you because you could feel someone’s eyes glued onto you. It took everything in you not to turn around and look back at him.

You’d said that maybe you were at a point in your life where you could gather the courage and greet him if you were in the same room. Here you were, practically running away from him instead. You weren’t ready to cross paths with him; not right now. And to make matters worse, you looked a mess in your barely brushed bun and a not-so-special outfit. You’d imagined that when you eventually did cross paths, that you’d look good that day.

You walked past him and didn’t look back once.

Baekhyun got off the train feeling more tired than usual. He’d had a bit of trouble sleeping last night. He inched up the staircase slowly and when he looked up to see what the holdup was, he saw that it was a mother struggling to carry a stroller. Eventually, once someone realized that maybe they should help, another woman helped her up. Once the staircase congestion was cleared, Baekhyun was able to start moving.

As he headed toward the exit, he happened to look up from his phone and to his left. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you. It was. He knew your height and body size like the back of his hand. Even though he hadn’t been friends with you for a full year, he got to know you well for the past few months...until all of this drama came crashing into his life. He was at fault, he knew. This was a mess that he’d unintentionally created by not being straightforward and not being honest with himself or the people around him.

He didn’t know what an ideal world would look like. He wanted to be with Kira, no matter what. But, sometimes, his heart tugged toward you. He cared about you and he honestly missed you. He missed hanging out with you. He missed the simple things about his relationship with you like waiting for you to get out of class so you could eat lunch with him or helping you study for your exam, with flashcards. He missed simple things like FaceTime calls in the middle of the night when you had trouble sleeping and the fact that he could tell you anything. Part of him wished that he’d never crossed that line with you. He hated the fact that you weren’t in his life at all. Would you have been better off as just friends from the very beginning?

Baekhyun did see you, even if you didn’t know it. He saw you in all your glory. He saw you and your bun that you wore with the pale pink scrunchie that you loved. He saw you walking toward the University Place exit which could only mean that you were going to work. He remembered going there to pick you up from work last semester and watching you fidget at the desk, eagerly waiting for your coworker to come in and take over the desk duties.

He did notice you and a piece of his heart chipped away as he realized that a) you saw him and didn’t care to speak or b) you genuinely didn’t see him. A million possibilities and harsh realities flew through his head. He knew that you wouldn’t go out of your way to talk to him but had you just straight-up ignored him, like he didn’t exist?

Did the voicemail he left mean nothing to you? Did you listen to it at all? Did you delete it without even bothering to listen to it? He had so many questions and no answers. Were you done with him? Had he ruined the friendship the two of you once had forever? He felt a lot of things but his heart felt bruised, more than anything.

Was it really over?

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what kind of relationship he could have with you at this point but he knew that he didn’t want to live in a world without you in it. But on the other hand, he knew that he couldn’t have his cake and eat it, too.

You met Evie and Sadie in their dorm room after your shift. You still had a couple hours before you had planned on meeting Sehun. You put your bags down and sat down on the fluffy rug that lay between the two beds.

Your friends had started filling you in on a campus event tonight, where some of the school’s cultural organizations were going to have a dance off. You hadn’t planned on going since you made plans with Sehun but your friends didn’t seem to want to let it go.

“So you’re really not going to come to the Battle of the Orgs thing tonight?” asked Sadie, sitting down on the floor next to you.

You shook your head. “Well, I wasn’t really planning on it...”

Evie chimed in, turning away from her laptop and toward you. “Drew said it’d be really cool if you’d come. He’s hardly seen you since everything that happened with Baek. He’s performing...and the best part is that Baekhyun won’t be in the crowd cause he’s performing too.”

You raised your eyebrow, a curious expression taking over. “Since when?”

“Since like three weeks ago when one of the other guys dropped out and Drew begged him to join the lineup,” answered Evie. “Drew bugged the hell out of him and eventually Baekhyun agreed to it. You know how annoying he can be...”

“I saw Baekhyun in the train station this morning,” you said. “I was telling myself this morning that, if I saw him in the street, maybe I’d say hi...but I walked by and pretended I didn’t see him.”

“Would you really have said something?” asked Sadie.

You shrugged. “Probably not. But what would I even say to him?”

“Go fuck yourself is a good start,” Evie suggested. The three of you laughed for a moment before her expression became serious. “He really does seem to be dating that girl though.”

“Did you meet her?” you asked.

“For a minute,” Sadie said.

Evie added, “Baekhyun stopped by in the library and she was with him. So he introduced her...as his girlfriend.”

“What does she look like?”

“She looks mixed. She’s black and Japanese, I heard.”

“What’s she like?”

“Y/N, what does it matter? We met her for two seconds, in passing. Even if I had an answer for you, I wouldn’t tell you. You’re seeing Sehun, right? Why are you making Baekhyun more relevant than he is?”

You rolled your eyes, annoyed that your friend wasn’t going to give you more information. But, deeper down, you knew that she was right. It wasn’t healthy to ask those kinds of questions or to do things like look at Baekhyun’s snapchat stories hoping to find out more about this girl. It hurt that he had moved on. You wished that you were in her shoes. It felt unfair that this girl came into the picture and threw Baekhyun off course. You thought about what he said about having intentions of asking you out. If it was true, then the appearance of this Kira girl had ruined it. In a way, she had ruined the relationship that could’ve been yours.

But it wasn’t fair to put the blame on this girl. You didn’t know her and she didn’t know you. Sometimes you felt jealous but then you had to remind yourself that you deserved better and that if Baekhyun truly wanted to be with you in the first place, he would’ve been.

In all honesty, you should’ve listened to Evie’s advice in the first place. You should’ve known something was up when she asked if you were sure that Baekhyun really liked you. Maybe you should’ve questioned things sooner. Maybe if you’d brought it up sooner, the story wouldn’t have played out quite like this. Maybe you would’ve had the answers you needed much sooner. Maybe it would’ve hurt less.

You bit your lip. “Of course he’s not relevant. I’m seeing someone new and I’m moving on...just like he is!”

Part of you wanted to go to the Battle of the Orgs. You wanted to go because you genuinely wanted to see Drew perform and, if you were being completely honest with yourself, you wanted to see Baekhyun perform too. You never really saw him dance like this before. According to your friends, the Korean Student Association was going to perform a couple k-pop songs.

You didn’t know if you were ready to see Baekhyun in person, even if it was from a distance. Hell, you couldn’t even face him in the train station this morning. You just kept walking like a coward. You had imagined seeing Baekhyun again for the first time a million different ways. All of the scenarios you imagined in your head were nonchalant, petty, or neutral. You’d imagined scenarios where you hit him, scenarios where you threw shade at him, and scenarios like this morning—you walking past him, but without a care in the world. And you’d also imagined delusional scenarios where he explained that he didn’t want that girl anymore, and that you were the one he wanted. But you knew, at this point in time, that it wouldn’t happen.

You knew deep down that the only way to truly get over Baekhyun was to finally face him. That didn’t mean that you had to be friends or that things were going to go back to how they were. Shit, how could they after all that you’d been through? Seeing Baekhyun in person didn’t mean that you were committing to anything specific. It just meant that you’d be in the same room, breathing the same air. No harm in that, right?

You had to face Baekhyun sooner or later. You weren’t obligated to accept his apology or to be friends. The only way to get over him was to acknowledge his existence. Maybe you could get to a point where you could have a conversation. Maybe, just maybe, you could be acquaintances or something. But for now, you decided to just let things play out. You’d just be yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t even have to interact with Baekhyun in the first place.

You decided that you were going to go to the event tonight. You’d go to the event, support Drew, and then leave to go to the jazz bar with Sehun afterward. This solution was perfect, for everyone.

***

A/N: This is kind of a filler chapter but the next chapter will be longer and have the drama everyone’s craving, I promise! It’s worth the wait. And thank you to everyone who has supported me. And shoutout to my bestie for helping me through these ideas and giving me some much needed motivation!

Tag List: @shesdreaminginoverdose @multistania @jeonchan26 @myonlyaurora @keloiu @xxluckydreamsxx @multifandomeras @blanknearvana @jddcfc-blog @jummyjammy @mintaemark @kokobyunee @fortheloveofinfinite @littleflowercrown13 @wayvexo @to-all-the-stories-i-love @ggaayyyong @hyuniebaby @giriboyshogu @xyukheix @jekylluv @forbyun @endzii23 @puppyeoliepop @aa-ronpa @serendipitydreamsss @princemicorazon @sjkings @marimsun @baekhypnotized

Please DM me if you want to be added to the tag list! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

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halcyon-writings · 3 years

Text

family

requested?: yes (anonymous) //tldr, if alucard had a sibling (the reader, of course) dealing with the loss of family, both living and not

note(s)/warning(s): canonical character death, spoilers babyyyyy, violence and injury, angst it’s rare for anyone in this series to have a good time huh?, also for this being that the reader can literally look however you want, imma say Lisa isn’t white bc I do what I want and it’s my fic :) this is also the most i’ve written in a good while omg, im highkey proud so pls don’t let this flop

Lisa Tepes is dead.

Your mother, is dead.

Killed, burned alive. Gone to ashes.

All because the church had believed she was a witch of sorts. Several thoughts dance in the back of your mind as you gaze upon the pyre. Smoldering from the heat, the flames gone. Your father leaving his message, no, his warning, that he would act in one year.

“A farce that was!” You hear a shout, and you force down the bitter laugh, throat tight and eyes burning. Especially so when you slowly begin to hear continued shouts of agreement, from voices previously silent.

Here your mother was, her final resting place. Burned to ashes for some sick show of power.

And you could do nothing as she was mocked for it.

Your fist clenched at your side, you feel your nails cutting into your skin, but you walk away to return home.

And to say that the castle was no less better was an understatement. Your father was most likely in his quarters.

And when you finally sit down, the weight of your weary finally settling against your soul, do you allow yourself cry. Quiet tears turning to sobs as you muffle your voice with a pillow.

You had failed her. Missing the chance to save your mother, too late to have done anything.

But you pause, noticing the presence at your door, your brothers familiar knocking pattern resounding suddenly through the empty hall.

“Come in,” Your voice is embarrassingly raspy. As you clear your throat, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. But it wouldn’t hide the redness of your eyes.

Adrian says nothing, and a part of you wishes he did. His larger hand takes yours. A comforting squeeze.

You blink again feeling your eyes burn, and you squeeze his hand back.

“Father is...” He trails off, no doubt thinking of what he could say next.

“What he plans on doing, it’s not justice.”

You stare up at him, But it would be deserving. A bitter corner of your mind supplies.

While Adrian had taken after Mother in his demeanor, much more kinder, more welcoming. You were no doubt like Father. Reserved, distrusting, easily prone to grudges if you were wronged in some way.

But you bite your tongue.

“He gave them a year,” You murmur after some time, “But no doubt he’s ready to calling his armies.”

At this Adrian turns alarmed. the warmth from his hand slips away.

“We must stop him!”

You’re still reeling from the events from earlier today, and a part of you wishes to have no part in his attempt to try and stop your father. But then you remember your mother.

Her kindness, regardless of how she was viewed for being different.

And your warily stand anyway.

If only you had more sense. Your father remains eerily silent as he embraces you both. His hold tighter, and while Adrian seemed convinced, you saw the dark look in his eyes.

The year had passed. You weren’t surprised to hear of the bloodshed.

It was naive to expect otherwise. While reluctantly following your brother, you can only stand, frozen as your blood feels like ice in your veins as your remaining family clashes.

“No.” Your voice is barely a whisper.

They don’t hear you.

Glass shatters.

And foolishly enough, you rush forward.

With your brother injured and fleeing, and you yourself were not free from any sort of pain.

Stepping in between the two as they fought ended with a gnarly gash on your shoulder, as you fell to your knees and blood slipping past your fingers. Your father stands in front of you, like a protective pillar as your brother stares in shock, quickly wanting to help you in some way.

And then the fight is over. Your brother is gone too.

The castle is much larger and colder now.

As you’re confined to your room, the wound healing into an angry red, then to a muted and dull scar. For a moment you wished it took longer, your father guilty and you were reminded of times you had been sick when you were younger. While you had not been too keen on the typical children’s books, reading theory on physics and other sciences only seemed fun when he would read to you and you’d ask questions in between passages. (Your voice funny from a stuffy nose led to laughter and a small coughing fit but otherwise it was nice).

But now was not the time to reminisce on the happy childhood.

You know you cannot stay. Ultimately, Adrian had been right. Once you feel as though you can move your arm once again, slowly, you begin pack a small bag. You didn’t want to build up any suspicions, finding some money in your room and whenever you could take a few coins or so from your father that he would not miss.

Extra clothes were folded and put away separately.

And you make your escape on a rainy evening, the uneven droplets helping hide your tracks. But you knew now that your father had brought back Hector and Isaac, new generals to help fight in his war, you had to be weary of the night creatures that would no doubt be sent after you.

Well, you were creative. At times flying in a transformed look, no one would suspect a bat in the dark of night afterall. And it was easier to. find good vantage points that way. But to also avoid any people, you didn’t quite trust yourself to not get into an altercation with a bigot.

You rarely slept longer than necessary, especially not when those dreams were memories or nightmares.

Now that you had learned how to walk, you were a right menace. It was an uphill battle in itself to keep you in one place. You were curious and the world you knew (being your father’s vast castle) was huge. Your childlike curiosity was never let down by your adventures.

You laugh quietly, which sounds like small squeaks as you fly up and hide above the gaudy chandeliers. Your father, giant coat gone, hair tied back and in a plain dress shirt and slacks as he searched for a curious toddler.

Snickers continuing as he paces down the hall. You hop down, landing slowly and feet planting into the ground, knees bent. Before you had down the opposite direction.

The lab usually wasn’t a place you could be allowed in on your own. But having heard that your mother was there, you knew it wouldn’t be a problem! So your little legs carried you along. Until you found the familiar doorway.

Dozens of tubes and mechanisms had you turning your head as you wandered in, your shoes tapping against the marble floor.

“Now what brings you here, sweetling?” The warmth of your mother’s voice has you smiling before you see her. As you run forward and hug her side, clutching her dress in your small fists. “Not causing trouble for your father are you?”

You shake your head grin betraying your word, “Nope! I’m not doing any trouble!”

“And how since when did that happen?” She laughs gently.

“Now.”

Your brother looks up from his own books, waving before returning to work. Your nose crinkles, so much for playing experimenting. But before you can say much, your nearly yelp as you’re brought up into the air by a pair of strong arms.

“I’ve found you, little wanderer.” Your father’s voice carries no heat behind it. Then again, he was always soft hearted for you and your brother. But most of all, your mother.

“I’m not little!” You pout, “I’m big now!”

You’re taken away from your reverie at the snap of a twig.

With your lack of sleep, as you had insisted on traveling more, you were less than surprised to have been snuck up on.

“Peace, my friend,” The old man murmurs. You keep your knife in an iron grip in front of you. Who you’re guessing is his son or grandson, has his hands raised the same way, but no weapon to be seen, magic, oh good. Then again, not like you needed a knife when you could make your nails go into claws and the fangs. Don’t forget the fangs.

“I can’t exactly be peaceful when it’s the middle of the night and suddenly figures in blue robes appear out of now where,” You answer dryly. But seeing as how the others behind the main two have not done or said anything noteworthy, nor were their stances make them look like they could really fight, you lower your weapon slightly.

Clearing your throat, “Although, I shouldn’t be swinging my own weapon around either.”

The old man just smiles gently. And you can’t help but be just slightly comforted.

In the end, the speakers stop for the evening. And the Elder, despite looking like a frail old man, is firm in his decision that you stay and “eat properly.” And like a scolded child, you listen. Food and drink all but pushed into your hands as you’re quickly brought into conversation, the previous confrontation all but forgotten.

And then you perk up when he mentions Gresit.

“So... the sleeping soldier,” You begin, slowly chewing on the sweet bread you had been given. “It was true?”

The Elder nods, “My grandchild and a traveller, they had gone to explore it. Well, the traveller had gone to save my grandchild. I will not hide the fact that I was a bit doubtful. But Belmont had proved himself a man of his word. Although, he does need to drink more water.”

You blink, a look of a surprise clear on your face. Belmont...

Fuck.

“Although I hadn’t expected the legend of the sleeping soldier to be realized so quickly.”

At your inquisitive look, the Elder begins to explain. Of a holy warrior beneath Gresit, who would come to save it’s people in their most dire of hours.

“The pair had come up with a man with long hair, like gold.” You couldn’t help but let out the breath you had been holding. So the Belmont didn’t try to kill him. you could breathe a little easier at that fact.

“Where are they now?” You ask, holding the empty cup in your hands, as you stare down as though waiting for something.

Getting your answer, you stand, adjusting your bag over your shoulders. You wave off the concern in staying, if it had already been several days since the Speakers had left Gresit, then you needed to cover a lot of land to get to your brother.

That is, until you saw the expression on the Elder’s face grow stern, as though he was scolding a child. With a heavier bag, one that the Elder insisted that you take some more things you could eat along the way, in exchange you give the Elder a small trinket you had been using to hide from the monsters of your father’s army, you finally set off. While your worries were not completely settled, your shoulders felt lighter. Metaphorically of course.

Of course, giving away the object that kept you hidden made it a bit more, difficult, when it came to trying to hide and travel at night. Much less even try to stop and rest.

It had barely been two days since you had left the speakers, and already, you had run into some trouble, a beastly creature’s claws barely caught on your sleeve, leaving your arm bare as you shuddered from the chill in the air. You can only sigh mournfully, you really liked that coat. But, better your sleeve than say, you actually getting wounded.

Your nails resemble claws, while your free hand holds the dagger in a steady grip. But being surrounded on all sides, it did not look promising.

Well, you thought mournfully, if you died you could at least see your mother again.

Until you hear the sound of what reminds you of a whistle? And then a sword flying through the air, slicing through the night creatures, giving you a chance to get some distance.

You hear the surprised shout of your name, and look up, to see your brother wide eyed, sword now returned to him, and a man and woman standing at his side.

“Um... hi.”

Much to your relief, the night creatures are easily taken care of.

And as you’re finally able to explain your story, you find yourself relaxing into the extra cloak given to you by the Elder.

“You mean you met the Speakers on your journey?!” A woman, petite with short blonde locks, who you learn is named Sypha, asks, and you notice the way her shoulders sag in relief.

You nod, “Yes. They all were safe.” If her shoulders sagged anymore she’d full on be slouching. You leave out the part of leaving a possibly precious trinket with them, not wanting her to think you cursed them or something.

“So you mean to tell me, Dracula, fucking Dracula, had more than one kid? That he actually had a woman not only give him not just one, but two children?” Is incredulously asked next by the scruffy looking man. Trevor, as your brother says.

You only stare in annoyance, sure your father was about to raise an army to annihilate the human populace but he didn’t used to be that way.

Before you can retort with a scathing remark of your own, Sypha elbows him harshly in the side. And you know it hurts from the way he immediately puts a hand where she hit him, eyes widening slightly. Serves him right.

“And what of...” Adrian- no Alucard as he wishes to be called, asks, near hesitant.

“Father?” You ask, arms crossed, “Same old same old. Planning the same amount of destruction here or there.”

As he looks to the snow covered earth, you roll your eyes, “Did you expect anything different?”

It’s quiet, and neither Sypha nor Trevor speak.

“No.”

You all sat around camp quietly for a while after that.

Your lungs feel like they’re being constricted. Your throat burns as you struggle to breathe, claws digging into your skin like knives. Before you’re thrown backwards, landing harshly against the wall. Books fall from the book case and your weapon clatters noisily from the ground.

You take shallow breaths, barely standing before you’re thrown once more. Curse your father’s stature and supernatural strength. You close your eyes, waiting for another attack and at least hoping to brace yourself for it, but it never came.

Instead, your brother stands in front of you, as he and your father remain in a standstill. Sypha and Trevor’s footsteps are rushing towards you three.

It all continues to move so fast, until he stops noticing the painting of your mother, as she had been holding your brother and then you as a baby, and the next thing you know, your father is staked through the heart. And with wobbly legs, you take your sword, and swing. So falls Dracula. But it felt like no victory.

You sit up with an alarmed look, stopping yourself from shouting.

That was... a dream? You rub your eyes, feeling that your cheeks are wet and you sigh.

When you see a shadow looming over you, the light of the fire giving slight visibility, you freeze. Before noticing it’s your brother and not his companions.

“Sorry,” You say, making sure to not look at him, so that he didn’t see your tears.

Quietly, he places his coat over your shoulders, sitting beside you, wrapping his own blanket loosely around his own shoulders. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

You only grip the jacket lapels tighter, shaking slightly as you hiccup, unable to stop yourself from crying again.

He must think it’s because you miss your mother, and you do. But this dream was far different. And you say nothing as he brings you into his arms. Your tears having long since dried when the sun rises moments later. But you find yourself falling asleep as your brother rubs soothing circles on your back, feeling the build up exhaustion finally leaving you.

When you’re awake much later in the day you can’t help but laugh a little when Sypha scolds your brother for being mean enough to make you cry, he didn’t you assure her quick enough, although you’re back to laughing when she then turns around to scold Belmont when he makes another slight comment.

#castlevania netflix x reader #castlevania imagines #castlevania imagine #castlevania netflix imagines #mine

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cuddlepilefics · 3 years

Text

We can tell

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jeongin

Caregivers: Stray Kids

No one's POV.:

Jeongin knew he could always rely on his hyungs. The were all quite protective of the youngest and would baby him at all times, despite Jeongin trying to push them away. Often times the attention became too much for him. Did they really not trust him for to things on his own? Sure, he appreciated their help when he asked for it but he was an adult too, who should be able to face most of his problems alone. It always got worse, when Jeongin was sick. In no time, the entire group would be pining over him and baby him. It always made the maknae feel guilty because he wasn't even feeling too bad but his friends would do everything for him. Want a drink? Don't move, I got it! Though he would be perfectly able to get stuff for himself, his hyungs would get it for him and he felt bad about his hyings unnecessarily going out of their way for him.

That's why at some point, Jeongin decided to not tell his hyungs when he felt unwell anymore. He'd go ask them for help or Medici ne when he knew it was getting to bad and he needed help but in the main time, he would handle himself. That was also exactly his plan when his throat started to hurt during his vocal lesson. He had probably only strained it a bit anyway. He'd make himself some tea when he got home and it should go away soon. Luckily, the vocal lesson was the last part of his schedule for the day and he could go straight home afterwards. Until his phone dinged with a message that is. Hyunjin had texted and asked if he wanted to join Changbin, Felix and him to get some ice cream. Jeongin contemplated it but decided the cold fruit wouldn’t do his throat any good and that he'd rather have some warm tea. He quickly typed and apology, feeling bad that he had to cancel on his friends. Then he header back to the dorm, happy that his workday was over.

As expected Changbin, Hyunjin and Felix weren't there when he got back. Neither were Chan and Jisung, who had texted the groupchat earlier, statong they'd stay at the studio late. Minho was probably in his room, while Seungmin stood in the kitchen. “Hey, what’s you making, hyung?”, Jeongin smiled, ingnoring the pain in that came with speaking. Seungmin continued to stir in the pit infront of him, turning to him with a smile: “I’m making some hot chocolate to drink while watching a movie. Want some too? You sound like your lesson was intense.” The maknae nodded, it was easy with Seungmin, the other vocalist had been in the same situation multiple times before. It was probably something that just came with their job. While the older finished up their drinks, Jeongin got two cups out and sat them on the counter before raiding their cupboards for marshmallows. He didn't find any so when Seungmin added some cream on top, the younger just added some colorful sprinkles. Jeongin decided to just join his friend with his movie since he didn't have much else to do and he wouldn't have to talk.

What he didn’t expect though was the fatigue that suddenly set in and with the help of the soothing warm drink, he was out before even making it to the middle of the movie. When Seungmin woke him up for dinner, Jeongin needed a second to recognize his surroundings. What he noticed first was the headache thumping behind his temples and the quilt Spread over his legs. They usually kept it over the back of the couch but it seemed like Seungmin had tucker him in after he nodded off. “Hey, the others bought home take out. We got you soup because I thought it'd be easiest on your throat”, the older explained. Jeongin scratched his head awkwardly, mumbling: “You didn’t have to go out of your way for me. My throat will be fine tomorrow.” – “Innie, I've strained my voice in lessons multiple times. We both know how much it sucks and just because it will be better tomorrow doesn’t mean we want you to suffer today. Besides, that was barely any trouble. Come on, let's eat. The others are waiting”, Seungmin smiled.

Despite his nap earlier, Jeongin felt tired and went to bed soon after dinner. His roommate Jisung didn't comment on it but he also turned his bedside lamp off and put in his headphones. The maknae was really grateful for it because his head was still hurting and he couldn't wait to get some rest. Sadly, rest didn’tcome as easy as he had hoped, instead he kept tossing and turning, frequently waking up drenched in sweat from another nightmare. Usually, the maknae wasn’t one to have nightmares and most of the times, he got them when he had a fever. Knowing this, Jeongin got up in the early morning hours and took his temperatur. Sure enough, he was running a mild fever. It wasn’t bad enough to concert him, he was just upset that he couldn’t rest properly. Especially now, that his headache had increased. Sighing to himself, Jeongin took some medicine for his headache and winced at how scratchy his throat felt. He knew he didn’t just push himself too hard the previous day, he was most definitely coming down with something. It would be okay though, he could take care of himself.

Jeongin groaned when jisung's phone blasted ‘fancy you'. Sure, he liked twice but it was way too early to blast any music at that volume. He grabbed his pillow and threw it at Jisung to get him to shut his alarm off. It took a while but eventually it stopped and the maknae almost went back to sleep. He was already drifting off again, when Chan popped his head into the room to make sure they were up, leaving Jeongin no choice but to get out of bed. He shivered as soon as the blanket was gone and decided to wear a hoodie with a t-shirt underneath. They were going to the studio for some recording today and he didn’t want to be cold there. Jisung left their room first, giving Jeongin the chance to try out his voice. He knew it hurt but he didn’t expect to sound this bad. Not even straining himself during practice ever left him this hoarse. How would he be able to hide this from his group. Sure, he'd just try not to talk but eventually he'd have to. Plus, how was he going to record? They'd know then at the latest.

The others greeted him sleepily, when Jeongin joined them for breakfast. He just gave them a smile in return, so they thought he was still tired. Chan pushed a plate in front of him and ruffled the maknae’s hair affectionately. It all went well and Jeongin remained silent throughout their meal till Hyunjin addressed him directly. When the younger just shrugged in response, he frowned: “Yah, talk to your hyung!” The youngest just lowered his head in shame before Seungmin spoke up: “Jinnie, leave him be. He strained his voice yesterday and probably wants to rest it, so he can give his best later. Right Innie?” – ‘Thanks, hyung’, he mouthed with a smile, glad that one of them understood. “Aish. Next time maybe shoot us a text as a warning. We got a bit worried when you just kept quiet”, Chan chuckled, “If you don’t feel up to recording, let us know, okay?” Jeongin nodded and continued eating. Afterwards, he went through his morning routine and applied a good amount of concealer to cover the dark circles under his eyes. He also snuck some more painkillers into his pocket to take later and found a bag of cough drops at the back of his closet, which he quickly shoved into his backpack. Maybe, just maybe, they’d fix his voice enough for him to sing later. He was absolutely dreading the moment he had to record, fearing he wouldn’t be able to but his wishful thinking motivated him to push on.

Jeongin slept through the entire drive to the studio. Initially, he had fallen with his head against the window but it looked highly uncomfortable, so his seatmate Changbin carefully moved the youngest’s head onto his shoulder. While doing so, he clearly noticed the difference between the temperature of Jeongin’s skin and his own. Making sure the maknae really was a sleep, he whispered: “Guys, Innie has a fever.” Chan immediately leaned over to feel the youngest’s forehead for himself, his face dropping when he had to realize his dongsaeng was hiding something from them. Now that it was confirmed that Jeongin was sick, Changbin refused to wake him when they arrived. Instead, he carried him up to the study and laid him down on the couch there. The members either piled onto the other couch or sat on the floor, so their dongsaeng could rest. They weren’t planning on confronting him when he woke up, they’d rather Jeongin admitted it himself, so they continued to work, recording their parts while shooting the youngest concerned glances every now and then.

It had been almost an hour, when Jeongin sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked around confused, trying to figure out where he was. “You fell asleep in the car, so Changbin carried you to the studio. We thought some extra sleep wouldn’t hurt, since you’re not due to record until later”, Felix chuckled at the younger’s dazed look. Minho sat down on the couch next to Jeongin, a plastic cup in his hands, as he smiled: “I brought a large thermos bottle of tea, I thought it might help your throat some.” Jeongin bit his lip looking sad all of a sudden. Then he pulled his phone out and typed: ‘I really appreciate it hyung but seriously I’m fine. You wouldn’t have needed to bother doing that.’ He already felt guilty enough that Changbin had had to carry his lazy ass all the way up here, when he could have walked by himself perfectly fine. “Well, what if I wanted to?”, Minho asked and pressed the plastic cup into his dongsaeng’s hand. The youngest immediately wrapped both hands around it to warm, only noticing now how cold he felt. He gave Minho a shy and grateful smile before taking a careful sip, trying not to burn his mouth.

Minho had added a generous amount of honey and Jeongin almost sighed at how soothing it felt going down his throat. He didn’t want to admit it but he was quite happy that the dancer had gone out of his way to bring this along. Sadly, once the cup was empty, he didn’t have anything to warm him anymore and the chills were slowly starting back up. How could he possibly feel this cold, considering the layers he had put on? Pretending to go to the bathroom, the maknae snuck away to take another dose of painkillers. They were supposed to also lower his temperature, so maybe he’d feel a bit warmer if his fever went down a bit. At the same time, his hyungs knew he was lying about needing the bathroom, they were suspicious as to what he was really doing, hoping he didn’t feel sick to his stomach too, but they didn’t want to follow and pressure him too much. Should he be gone for too long, one of them would go look for him. “Is it just me or did you notice Jeongin shivering too?”, Jisung asked thoughtfully. Seungmin shook his head, stating: “Not just you, I think his fever is giving him chills.” They didn’t manage to speculate much further because right that moment, Jeongin returned.

‘Aish, what am I going to do with that little rebel? It would be so easy if he could just give in to the truth, so we could take care of him’, Chan sighed, rubbing his temples. He could still see the youngest shaking, though he tried so hard to conceal it. Then the leader had an idea. He got up and grabbed his coat, wrapping it around Jeongin’s shoulders. The he tried to muster as much of a lighthearted smile as he could and hummed: “Innie, it’s your turn soon, so you should probably start warming up. That way we can also hear how your voice is doing.” The vocalist was fast to regain his composure but the split second of horror, that flashed across his face, didn’t go unnoticed by Chan. Jeongin cleared his throat, trying to keep a straight face despite the pain, and tried to hum a little tune, they often used to warm up. Apart from him, there was complete silence in the room, everyone waiting for the moment of truth and cringing in sympathy at how raspy his usually clear voice sounded. Chan was the first to react when Jeongin suddenly broke into tears, pulling him into a hug. It wasn’t even the pain getting to him. It was his frustration about not being able to record that day and therefore holding his group back. His frustration about showing his hyungs that he wasn’t doing his best today and thereby making them worry about him.

“It hurts that bad?”, Seungmin asked in shock. Jeongin shook his head, while the oldest rubbed his back. He croaked: “I-I’m sorry, now I’m holding all of you back again. I’m just so – so f-frustrated w-with myself.” He didn’t even know why he got so worked up about it because he really wasn’t this emotional, maybe the fever got to him more than he wanted to admit. Chan clicked his tongue, leaning closer to Jeongin’s ear, and whispered softly: “Why do you always think you’re holding us back? You can just record another day. If you keep forcing yourself now, you might even damage your voice. That’s not worth it.” The younger sniffled and nodded into Chan’s neck. “Most of us are done already, so why don’t you go home with them and rest a bit? You don’t need to hang around here, especially since I’m sure, your bed is more comfortable than that couch and we wouldn’t want you cold getting worse”, the leader mused. Jeongin pulled away shocked, frowning: “How do you know?” – “Innie, we can tell when you’re sick”, Chan chuckled and helped his dongsaeng to put his coat on properly, so Minho, Felix and Seungmin could take him home. Being producers, Chan and Changbin had to stay back at the studio to finish up with Hyunjin and Jisung but they’d all join them at the dorm in another hour or two.

Jeongin had stopped crying but remained quiet on their way to the car. While settling in, Minho poured him some more tea before shoving the thermos back into his backpack. “Why didn’t you tell us you were sick, Innie? Or should I say, why did you try so hard to hide it from us?”, Minho asked hesitantly. The youngest bit his lip, selecting his words carefully: “You’re always there for me, all of you. You worry so much. I can take care of myself but y’all keep babying me and I feel guilty when you worry and do things for me that I can do myself. You don’t have to go out of your way for me and every time you do, I feel like a burden. I don’t want to be a burden. I took medicine and sucked on cough drops, went to bed early. I really did take care of myself.” When he started to get worked up again, Felix side-hugged him, causing him to shut up. “Well, it is our job as your hyungs to worry about you, there’s no way around it. You should know, as Chan said, we can tell when something’s up and if you don’t talk to us, we’ll most likely assume something a lot worse than what is actually going on. If you really want us to worry less, be honest with us, so we can see what we’re dealing with. Second, how dare you consider yourself a burden? You’re our baby and of course, we’ll always be there for you”, Minho frowned. Felix nodded and continued: “You might not understand the way we feel about you but we really love doing things for you, so please, please, please don’t feel guilty about it. For you it might seem like a bother going out of our ways but we really want to do all of that.” – “And, we don’t doubt that you can take care of yourself, probably better than half of this group. The thing is though, you don’t have to. If you really want to be more independent, that’s fine. We’ll try to hold ourselves back but just know, we’ll be there, not because we have to but because we want to”, Seungmin added. By now, Jeongin was almost tearing up again, touched by his hyungs’ words. He took a deep breath to calm himself, inhaling a faint whiff of Chan’s scent from the coat he was wearing. They really did care about him like brothers.

Already in a better mood after their talk, they made their way to the dorm, where Minho announced: “Let’s get a read on that fever and if it’s not too high, why don’t you take a nice warm bath. You’re still shivering.” They kicked off their shoes and Minho took him to the bathroom, watching as Jeongin took his temperature himself. It was moderate but not too high, so Minho started a warm bath while Jeongin went to pick out some comfortable clothes for himself. On his way back to the bathroom, he was stopped by Seungmin. “Hey, we thought it’d be fun to do a movie marathon if you feel up to it? And I wanted to ask if you’d prefer tea or hot chocolate like yesterday”, the second youngest asked. A wide smile spread on Jeongin’s face and he shyly requested: “Hot chocolate would be nice but you really don’t have to. I liked it when we watched the movie yesterday.” – “I’ll make hot chocolate for all of us, don’t worry about it”, Seungmin giggled and ruffled his only dongsaeng’s hair. Jeongin was just about to enter the bathroom with the pile of clothes in his hands when Felix came sliding on his fuzzy socks, panting: “Wait, wait, wait, I found this really cute pink bathbomb in my bag of toiletries and I want you to have it.” The maknae blushed, resembling the shade of the bathbomb itself, and thanked the Aussie before finally returning to the bathroom.

The tub was already filled and Minho told him to enjoy, before leaving to give his dongsaeng some privacy. He helped Felix set up pillows, blankets and some additional beanbags, so every member would find a spot when they returned from the studio. The living room was already smelling comfortingly sweet from the chocolate Seungmin was melting for their drinks. Maybe their dongsaeng wasn’t feeling all that awful but that didn’t mean that they didn’t want do make him as comfortable as possible and cuddle him all better. Plus, who’d say no to some quality time with their cute maknae? A group movie marathon really sounded like heaven right now and the only thing that could make it even better was the hot chocolate Seungmin prepare, decorating it with cute colorful sprinkles just like Jeongin liked it.

#stray kids #skz #sick #sickfic #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #whump #comfort #yang jeongin

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cicinicole-14 · 3 years

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denial isn’t just a river in egypt!

so listen, nina (@doc-pickles) got an ask on tumblr about jo being pregnant and in denial about it and Alex comes back and sees her etc and we’d talked about it forever ago and then it was brought up again and I just had so much inspiration for it so bam here we go.

also my original plan for this fic flew completely out the window and somehow this happened instead so like, good luck, hope yall enjoy!

This was not how this was supposed to happen. This was not how her life was supposed to go.

She was supposed to take the test, find out it was positive, happily get to surprise her husband that they would be having a baby, or be standing right next to him as they both read the results as a happily married couple.

Not like this…

Not by herself in the dirty gas station bathroom because she was too terrified that Schmidt would find the test in the loft bathroom, or too many people could find out if she ran a blood test at the hospital.

So she’d run into the dimly lit gas station bathroom, just like she’d done last time she was pregnant, having a sickening feeling of deja vu as she waited for the results, honestly not sure why she was even bothering because she knew what the test was going to read…

Sure enough, three minutes later when the alarm on her phone pulls her out of her zoned out daze, there are two very prominent pink lines staring back up at her from the little stick. She tosses it into the trash and washes her hands, careful not to touch much of the bathroom to get out as clean as possible before pulling her mask back over her nose and mouth and exiting the dingey gas station.

Before she can even make it back to her car, she hurries to the trash bin posted out front of the convenient store and hovers over it, pulling her mask down and holding her hair out of her face before she’s heaving the contents of her stomach into the bin below her, trying not to touch the gross can.

This was nowhere close to how this was supposed to happen.

She sits in the waiting room of the clinic the next morning, her eyes scanning over the two visibly pregnant women each in a chair and a girl who couldn’t be older than twenty-one, sitting across from her, bouncing her leg nervously and scrolling on her phone. Jo picks at the hangnail on her thumb, watching as it reddened until it started to bleed before her name was called.

Her head lifts up and she stands, following the assistant back, confirming her legal name, date of birth and reason for the visit, before following directions and sitting on the exam table, waiting for her to leave before she changes into the paper gown.

She’s been through this before. She remembers the routine. Her doctor returns to the room once she’s gowned in the itchy paper and seated back on the exam table with her legs in the stirrups. She doesn’t pay enough attention to listen to what her doctor is saying, but there’s the procedural task of having the transvaginal exam and before long she’s doing everything she can to tune out the fluttering heartbeat echoing through the tiny exam room to confirm she was indeed pregnant.

It makes her feel nauseous.

She didn’t want it to be this way. She didn’t want this to happen like this. When had it all gone so wrong?

She swallows the bile back down and before long her doctor is informing her she needs to make another follow up appointment to schedule her procedure.

Jo nods in confirmation before the doctor is leaving and she’s left to change back into her own clothes, mind still in a complete blur.

She doesn’t remember much of walking back to the front of the clinic and scheduling her follow up appointment, but there’s a reminder card in her hand she clips to the visor in her car as she makes her way back to the loft, wanting to just sleep the rest of the day, week, month away…

“Are you calling in sick to work today again?”

She doesn’t give Levi a clear answer, just a groan, before rolling over back under the comforter.

“Because it’s raining and I was hoping I could bum a ride from you.” He continues on.

She turns to face him, glaringly. Not happy that he was disturbing her. “You can take my car but if there’s so much as a scratch on my baby, I’ll eat you alive.” She growls, tossing him her keys.

“Noted.” He acknowledges.

“And tell Bailey I’ll be back next week. I just… I need some more time.” She says softly.

He nods, sliding open the loft door and exiting.

And Jo barely waits for it to close before she’s bolting out of bed to the bathroom, curling over the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach into it. She hopes Schmidt was far enough away to have not heard her puking her guts out. She didn’t need him to know.

Her hope is short lived though, by the time Levi walks in the loft late that evening, nudging her out of her slumber with a small card in one hand and a bag of food in the other.

“Jo?” He whispers timidly. He feels bad waking her up, but he knows she’s slept all day and probably hadn’t eaten. “I brought cheeseburgers and fries.” He said, holding up the bag on display.

And it doesn’t take a moment before she’s lurching out of bed, pushing him out of the way before she’s hurdling into the tiny bathroom again to throw up at just the smell.

“I’m sorry!” He repeats profusely, apologizing. “I didn’t know you were actually sick, are you okay?” She shakes her head, not wanting him to worry.

“I’m fine. Just, can you take the onions away from me?” He nods, tearing open the sandwich he’d gotten for her and picked off the onions, tossing them into the trash.

She thanks him before sitting down on a barstool now, sipping water to help quell her stomach before reaching for one of the greasy french fries in the bag and dipping it in ketchup. And then her eyes land on the appointment card she’d forgotten about from her car.

“I left your keys on the end table near your purse and put gas in your car. Thank you again for letting me take your car. Happy to report, zero scratches on her. Tip top shape.”

She makes a humming noise, confirming that she heard him, but her eyes are still glued to the card sitting next to their burger bag.

“I uh- I found that on your visor. I didn’t know–” “I’m not.” She cuts him off before pushing herself back from the stool and throwing her food away, barely having touched it, and crawling back into bed.

“Okay.” Levi says quietly, understanding she didn’t want to talk about it at the moment, so he drops the subject, continuing eating his food as Jo rolled over in bed, covering her body with the duvet.

She adjusts the PPE gear over her clothes and ducks into Meredith’s room on the ICU floor, taking a seat in the chair next to her.

She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out yet. So she pauses, wiping her sweaty palms over her thighs before letting them rest.

Her phone rings, startling her, and she looks at the caller ID, seeing the clinic’s number flashing on the screen probably calling her to tell her she’s late for her appointment that she didn’t plan on showing up to.

“I’m not supposed to be here right now. I’m supposed to be somewhere else.” She says, quietly. She doesn’t even know if Meredith could hear her, but she just needed to talk to someone, someone who wouldn’t look back at her with pity or disappointment making her feel guilty.

“I’m supposed to be sitting on an exam table right now on the other side of town as they made this all go away, but instead I’m sitting here with you and I don’t even know if you can hear me.”

She swallows back the lump in her throat, determined not to cry.

“It’s been twelve and a half weeks since I’ve last seen him, you know?” She takes a shaky breath, moving to the edge of her chair and resting her forearms on Meredith’s bed. “And twelve weeks and two days since we were last together. And I know that, because instead of sitting on that stupid exam table making this all go away, I’m choosing to hold on to the only piece I have left of him, because I can’t do it, Meredith. I can’t do this. I can’t do this without him, I don’t want to. He’s supposed to be here. We were supposed to be a family together. We didn’t tell anyone yet, but we’d just decided to start trying and then he left me. And I thought I couldn’t feel more broken until those two pink lines showed up last week and I felt like my world was caving in on me. Everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want this, but I can’t, I can’t just undo it now, can I?”

She knows she’s not going to get an answer, but it doesn’t matter because her mind’s already made up.

She slides back into the chair and lets her hands rest back on her thighs as she sits in silence, just listening to the ventilator breathe for her friend.

U awake?

Can i come over?

Sure

Is everything okay?

Honestly, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, standing at Jackson’s apartment door at almost eleven at night. They hadn’t had sex again in weeks, since before she’d…and she hadn’t even been to work all week either.

It didn’t matter though. She was fine. She was returning to work the day after tomorrow and no one even knew except for Schmidt, who she knew assumed she went to the appointment anyway. What he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. It was all going to be fine.

What she didn’t assume was the fact that Jackson had peeled her shirt off after a heated make out session and his hands landed on the swelling bump she didn’t realize was there.

She’s a doctor, and she knew post-second trimester, changes happen and bumps form, but she pushed that all to the back of her mind. She ignored it. And apparently hadn’t noticed it while getting dressed today.

But Jackson pulls back from the kiss, furrowing his brow, hand still on her bare stomach for a moment before Jo begins pulling away and grabbing for her shirt off the back of the couch.

“I’m not… It’s not, it’s not yours.” She rushes out, pulling her shirt back on.

Jackson laughs dryly for a moment. “Yeah I’d hope not, you look a bit further along that we’ve been sleeping together, unless you’re having twins. You’re not having twins, are you?”

“I’m not having a baby.” she says sternly and Jackson takes a moment to scratch at the stubble on his chin, clearly confused before Jo continues. “This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. I’m not having a baby.” She repeats, firmly, before gathering her phone off the coffee table and picking up her purse, heading for the door.

“Jo, wait, hey.” He tries, trying to stop her. “We don’t have to talk about it.” He reassures.

She hesitates, her hand holding the door open, still ready to leave, but she lets it slip, and it shuts quietly.

“Just, have you been checked out by someone? Carina? Anyone?”

She doesn’t give him an answer, just the soft click of the door as she opens it back up and walks out.

She’s been back at work the past month, thankfully able to avoid most people by sticking to the maternity ward, focusing on switching her specialty. Though she didn’t know what was worse, being nagged by friends who knew and trying to dodge them or being haunted by the multitude of patients she was helping deliver.

Jumping back and forth between the COVID ICU ward and the maternity ward, she knew she’d run into Link eventually. She’d managed her very best to avoid him at all costs. It was easy for the first week she’d returned, since he was still on paternity leave with Scout and helping take care of Meredith’s kids too, but then he’d returned to help out with the influx of new cases and she’d been asked to be transferred to OB, shadowing Carina until her luck had run out and he’d all but chased her down cornering her and pulling her into an empty on-call room.

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I have patients.”

“Jackson called me to tell me he was worried about you. And even Schmidt had said you hadn’t been to the loft in a while. Are you okay?” He asks, and she wants nothing more than to melt into his arms in a bear hug, but she knows if she does that, she’ll lose all control and she’s barely holding on by threads.

“I’m fine.” She says coldly.

“You’re not fine. You’re like eighteen weeks pregnant, based on when Alex was last here.”

“I’m not having a baby.” She says before turning on her heel and storming out of the on-call room, slamming the door on her way out.

“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt!” She hears him shout from the other side of the door. She rolls her eyes, stomping away like an irritated child.

“Wilson! Stop slamming doors in my hospital and lend a hand please. We have an MVC in the pit.” Bailey shouts to her.

Jo’s happy to have her mind be taken off of the conversation she’d just had before following after her boss.

“He’s going to need an x-ray to check for spinal injuries and run an EKG and full work up. Hurry!” Jo barks out orders, jumping into action and giving the gurney a shove in the correct direction before Bailey’s standing in front of her, blocking their way. “I need to get him to x-ray before we take him into surgery, Bailey, move.”

“No you don’t. An intern can take him to x-ray, you are not going there.”

Jo just begrudgingly lets go of the gurney, watching as two interns and a third year resident start wheeling their patient away.

She watches as Bailey’s stern face falters and her eyes soften into something along the lines of almost motherly, and it makes Jo almost want to break down right then and there, but she bites down on her bottom lip, forcing herself not to start crying before Bailey’s reaching out her hand for her to take.

So she does, and Bailey leads her away from the loud emergency room and together they walk up to the imaging room to wait for the x-rays to be ready.

“Are you doing okay?” Bailey treads carefully. She’s the chief of this hospital. She was taught how to be all-knowing. And the shock that flashes across Jo’s face that she knew, she figured was surprising. “I am the chief of this hospital, of course I know what’s going on with my surgeons.” She tells her and Jo looks away.

She just sighs softly.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Bailey doesn’t get a chance to reply before the images from the x-ray are up and Jo’s immediately rushing out of the room, headed for her patient. Bailey just sighs, following after her to assist with the surgery.

She’s not prepared for the sudden force of a pull in the opposite direction, almost tripping and stumbling over her feet as the brunette is leading her into an open exam room.

And before she can even question her or start to speak, Amelia’s opening her mouth to speak, cutting her off.

“I know I am the last person to probably be forcing you into doing this, but it’s happening anyway. Link has not shut up about how worried he is about you the past month and I’m tired of it so I’m giving him answers without violating HIPA. So lay back and pull up your shirt, this will be cold.” She said, shaking the bottle of gel as she wheeled the ultrasound machine closer to the two of them in the room.

Jo obliged, slowly, pulling her shirt up under her breasts and loosening her scrub pants a bit so Amelia could perform her exam.

Her bump was big now, and she’d already had to move up a couple sizes in her scrubs, but she still refused to acknowledge the life that was so rapidly growing within her.

“I was twenty weeks along before I let my sister-in-law force me into having an ultrasound thus leading to finding out my baby had no brain. A baby I had been in denial about because his father had overdosed next to me in bed.” Amelia says softly as she moves the wand around on Jo’s abdomen. “Alex was the first person I told that story to, fully.”

Jo doesn’t speak for a moment, taking in the words Amelia had just spoken, her eyes avoiding the screen at all costs as she looks in the complete opposite direction.

“I didn’t know you had a baby before Scout.” She finally replies softly.

Amelia pauses her movements and looks at Jo with a small smile. “Not many people do. His name was Christopher, and he had anencephaly. He lived for forty-three minutes before he got to donate all his organs and help others in need.” She says, trying not to cry herself.

By this time, Jo had turned to face her, and had given her a look of sorrow, of apology.

“Moving on, this baby you aren’t having is a good size, ten fingers, ten toes, has a brain. They look really healthy for twenty-two weeks, okay?” Amelia reassures her, wiping off the gel from Jo’s stomach. “I know we aren’t close, but I love Link and I know he’s really worried about you, so for all of our sakes, can I check up on you once a month for the rest of this?” She asks cautiously. “Just a few minutes out of every month to make sure everything is okay and then we can go back to ignoring it and being in denial together? You’ll be glad you have the peace of mind later on down the line.” She says.

Jo pulls her scrub top down slowly, nodding. “Sure.” she says quietly. “Just once a month, for a few minutes. Just us.” She says and Amelia nods, promising.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great mom. Scout loves you and I know he’d love to have a cousin to grow up with.” Amelia knows she’s said too much by the way Jo flinches at the comment, but she doesn’t run, like Link had told her Jo did to him. So maybe it was a step in the right direction. A baby step.

“It just wasn’t supposed to happen like this…” Jo replies softly, adjusting her scrub top over herself properly. Amelia nods, understanding it completely, giving Jo’s hand a squeeze.

True to her word, Jo’d let Amelia perform an ultrasound on her the following months, for just a few minutes each time, checking to make sure everything was okay. Jo refused to listen to anything about the baby, and didn’t want to know, just made sure Amelia noted everything down in her file. If it pleased everyone else, she was fine with that.

She still refused to believe any of this was even happening. No changes had been made to her home, nothing had been bought, nothing prepared. She didn’t want to even think about doing this without him, not for a minute. Surely, she could’ve called him. Anytime in the past seven months, she could have picked up the phone and dialled his number waiting for him to answer. But every time she picked up the phone to do just that, she was reminded of the fact that he’d left her. He’d done the one thing he promised to never do, and he’d abandoned her. And she was left so utterly broken by it. She was left broken and falling apart to try and do this by herself, something she didn’t want to do. Something she shouldn’t have to do, because he should’ve been here, holding her hand through this all, hovering over her so much she’d threaten to smack him or something. But he wasn’t.

Which was why she refused to believe that the wave of pain that contracted through her abdomen was anything other than a braxton hicks contraction. She was well on her way to becoming an OB, she’d been delivering babies daily. She knew what active labor looked like, and she refused to believe this was it.

Not until she felt a small release of pressure and then free falling fluid between her legs while she was headed to check on one of her own laboring mothers. This was not supposed to be happening right now.

She ignored it, ducking into an empty on call room, making sure to page someone else to cover her patients, letting them know she was unavailable before sitting down on a chair in the on call room, trying to force herself to breathe through the contraction just as she instructed her patients to do.

Tears well up and spill from her eyes, gracing her cheeks as she paces the tiny on call room, trying to keep herself from spiralling into a panic attack. She’s slowly losing her resolve as another contraction flutters through her body and she knows she’s progressing quickly but she hates that she’s stuck doing this alone.

And then the panic is settling in further as she realizes she really hasn’t prepared for any of this. Sure, she’d cut out alcohol from her diet, and was mindful of the things she could and couldn’t eat, but other than that, nothing else. She’d not so much had even bought a pack of diapers for this baby she was really just acknowledging she was pregnant with, while in now-active labor.

Im having a baby

Uh, yeah?

I know I wasn’t conscious for a lot of your pregnancy but you’re having a baby Jo

I mean right now

OH!

Okay have you been admitted?

I’ll be there soon!

I cant do this without him, Mer

I dont want to

She didn’t want to do any of this without him.

She hesitates, pulling up her contacts in her phone and hovers over his name. She should call. He deserves to know. But then another wave of a contraction courses through her and she’s doubling over, trying to breathe through it before the on call room door is swinging open and Carina is standing there with a look on her face.

“Meredith called to ask what room you were in since you were having a baby but I was the one shocked to find out that my fellow was in labor and had failed to tell me. Jo, come on, let's get you settled in a room.” Her accent, thick as she helped guide Jo out of the on call room and to a maternity room.

Carina guides her slowly into a room, helping get her settled and hooking her up to the various monitors before promising to be back to check on her soon and leaving her be.

Jo doesn’t know how long it had been, but she wakes up to the frantic beeping of monitors and Carina running into her room. She’s confused at what’s happening, but she hears her heartbeat echoing in her ears. She’s crying, she can feel her tears running down her cheeks, and she can’t hear herself, but she knows she’s screaming, screaming for him, screaming she can’t do this without him.

Before long she’s being wheeled out of her room and somehow into the OR where Carina has returned, hovering over her with a scrub cap on, smiling at her reassuringly. She thinks she remembers hearing her say everything would be okay but she isn’t sure, and then everything is hazy.

Until she feels someone standing next to her, and she looks over, and he’s standing next to her, holding her hand as she blinked back tears, trying to remember to breathe.

Alex was here. He was right here, next to her, holding her hand as Carina was performing a c-section on her and delivering their bundle of joy. He was here, squeezing her hand, telling her she could do this, that she did do this, she’s got this. That she is so strong. He’s blurry between her tears, and everything is hazy, everything is loud, everything is painful and scary and then she can hear the distinct sound of cries, filling the OR. And she’s turning her head to look over the sheet that’s separating her from her open abdomen, and Carina’s standing over her, holding up a squirming, screaming baby in her hands before she’s passing the baby off to another member of the delivery team and Jo’s eyes follow the baby for a second before landing on the man standing next to her again.

“Hey, you did it!” He smiles and she furrows her brow at him, his blue eyes staring back at her.

“Link?” She manages to whisper through her confusion, wondering where Alex had gone. But then she hears the baby start screaming again, and realizes he’s probably gone to check on their child and she focuses on trying to stay awake, but her heart rate drops and then everything is going black.

She wakes to the soft noises of shuffling around her room and Carina greeting her with a small smile, scooping up a wrapped bundle from the plastic bassinet, walking over to the side of her bed. “Ciao, Mama. You have one very handsome little bambino.” She greets, handing the newborn over to Jo.

Jo stares down at her little one, smiling down at him as she realizes just how much of Alex she truly sees in him.

“Where’s Alex? Is he just catching up with Meredith?” She questions, not looking up from staring at her child.

Carina freezes, not sure how to approach the topic but finally settles on a plausible answer. “I don’t know where he is.”

Jo just shrugs, still in a trance, staring at her son. She was in heaven.

And then she was in hell, when she realizes that Alex had never been there in the first place, that when Meredith had shown up to drive her back to the loft after being in the hospital for two days after her c-section, she was truly doing this alone, just like she’d done the entire time.

He wasn’t there. He hadn’t been there to see the birth of their son. He hadn’t been there, encouraging her as she was delivering their child. He wasn’t there bringing them home, like he should’ve been. He hadn’t even known she had their baby. And she was truly alone.

It was sinking in as Meredith had explained to her on the drive back to the loft, that baby Luca had been in such distress and showing D-cells when Carina had taken her up to the OR for an emergency c-section and Link had been with her the whole time. That he was struggling and his cord had prolapsed and then her own heart rate had spiked because of the onset panic and her own body was in distress through the surgery, but ultimately Carina had made sure she was going to be there to raise her son.

It hurt her. It hurt to know that she’d been in such a haze, hallucinating the entire time of Alex having been there. It hurt to know that instead of him driving them home, it was Meredith. It hurt to know that again, she was going to be doing this alone.

Meredith helps walk her up the stairs to the loft, carrying Luca’s carrier in her hand as Jo follows behind her, meeting up with Meredith at the top of the landing before unlocking the door and sliding it open.

“Before you say anything, this was why I wasn’t there holding your hand, too.” Meredith explains, setting the baby carrier on the bed and Jo looks up, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Alex.”

#cici writes #jolex #jolex fic #jo wilson #alex karev

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sims2bellaswan · 3 years

Text

pas de deux VII [Bruno Bucciarati x Reader | Risotto Nero x Reader]

[SFW]

AO3 VERSION

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

You’ve worked your whole life to earn a place in the Rome ballet company, yet everyone seems to work against you.

Between the stress of working to match the other dancers to unforeseen romantic issues, problems just seem to pile up.

Your alarm woke you up, much to your annoyance. You had slept like a baby last night, the evening spent working. You took a long, warm shower before applying topical pain medicine to your calves and thighs. Taking your sweet time to make a hearty breakfast, you savored every bite before leaving. You deserved it after all the hard work you had done last night.

The walk was leisurely, quietly checking different social medias. Your accounts were full of ‘congratulations’ after officially announcing your entrance to the company. You smiled to yourself, taking the moment, while stopped at a crosswalk, to slip your phone back in your pocket.

The doors are still heavy but instead of feeling dread at the aspect, you open them with a start. Today’s a good day: you’re well-fed, you’re early so you’ll get to practice a bit before your first class, and it’s sunny. The labyrinth of decadent halls, while dimly lit, were bustling with enough activity that you felt pleasant.

The morning sun painted the studio gold, refractions of its light on the floor from the mirrored walls. Where you expected an empty room, you saw Bruno, stretching in silence.

“G’morning, Bruno.” You set your bag in the corner, giving him a moment to respond. Sitting down, you slipped off your civilian shoes and pulled on your ballet slippers, giving him another moment to respond. “Bruno,” you had turned your head back to him.

“Did you have sex with Signore Nero last night?” He deadpanned. It made you do a double take. Now, he was giving you a moment to respond as he rose from the stretch.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you sleep with him?” He sounded angry but with his back to you, you couldn’t see his expression to make sure.

“Absolutely not.” You felt your face heat up at the very thought. Turning back to your shoes, “I’m offended that you would even entertain the thought.”

Bruno sighed, deeply. Did he really think you were lying? Why would you lie about this? “I heard that you were here until eleven,” He began. “As your friend, I-”

“As my friend, you should trust I wouldn’t lie about something like this.” You cut him off, a bit more harshly than you intended, but your frustration began to get to you. “He walked me through a pas de deux, that’s literally all we did.”

Whether he believed you or not, he didn’t voice his opinion.

The tension continued through the lesson. You didn’t initiate conversation with Bruno afterwards, nor did he wait for you at the door. You caught up with him in the halls, panting a bit as you slowed to a stop to match his pace.

The two of you were silent for a long moment, walking together as you always do. Though your destinations differed, this was precious time to spend chatting about technique or making small talk. Today was different, neither of you wanted to break the wall that had been built.

Gulping down your nerves, you began, “I don’t think this is reason enough to ignore me, Bruno.”

He glanced at you for a split second, no answer from him.

Thus, you continued. “You know full well I’m not that type of person.”

He took a deep breath in, quickening his pace slightly. “I advised you not to see him, yet you did anyway.” His brow furrowed for a moment, in thought, then relaxed. “Do you not care about your reputation?”

“He was helping me, my reputation shouldn’t be at stake because I needed extra lessons.” You tried to match his pace. The frustration from the morning reviving in your chest, your face felt hot.

“I was helping you, was that not enough?” Bruno stops at the entrance hall, turning to you. For the first time all day, you can read him like a book. He’s upset, not angry with you, but disappointed, a tang of heartbreak towards you. You felt guilt begin to eat away at your frustration.

Trying your best to swallow down the guilt, to swallow down an apology, you steeled yourself. Friend or not, he had no right to dictate whether or not you received external help. “It was more than enough and I’ve thanked you more times than I can count.” You felt your lungs constricting in anxiety. “But, even so, I need his help.” You were near pleading.

“I could help you, we could help each other.”

“That’s not what I mean, Bruno.” You bit your inner cheek, a distraction from letting things you don't mean spill out.

“Then, what do you mean?” His tone hurts your heart.

You don’t know what you mean. You can’t say that, you don’t want this to escalate any further. “Bruno,’ You trail off, not quite knowing what you want to say to him.

Bruno was a man deterred. He opened his mouth, slightly, to speak, but decided against what he would’ve said. It took a few moments of silence before he tried again, “I don’t want you to fall victim to a man who doesn’t care about you or your reputation.” He sighs, “I’m only angry with you because I care.”

He cares. He cares and you were frustrated with him for caring. God, you felt like such an asshole. “You’re not understanding me.” You tried to reason, “This is a huge break for me, this could mean everything.” Without giving him a chance to interrupt, you rush your words out. “I’m willing to do whatever I can to make this work.”

His expression turns, back to the faint anger you saw before you felt guilty. “Doing whatever you can shouldn’t mean whoring yourself out.” His tone is bitter. “You’ll have no luck making a name for yourself with such pitiful acts.”

Woah. Ok. Wow. You’re dumbfounded for a moment. He still doesn’t believe you. After you confided in him about your fears with Risotto, after the fiasco at the gala. He still isn’t on your side. You don’t know what to say, fearful anything you could come up with will only result in an aggravated retaliation.

“You should be ashamed.” With that, he leaves. You watch him exit, unsure of whether to follow him or just pad home like a hurt animal. You turn, using the wall as support.

There is something stopping you from breaking down right then and there. The halls are empty, most dancers found their ways out for lunch. Head in hands, you can't bring your tears to fall. Whether it be pride or just the absurdity of your closest friend turning on you, everything felt wrong.

A deep breath, then another, you push yourself up and off the ground.

The restroom was empty too. Eerily so, you felt like you haven’t seen the company empty for any long amount of time. Maybe, everyone heard the hushed argument with Bruno and decided to haul ass before it got too heavy.

The woman in the mirror was one you saw often lately. Puffy eyes, reddened cheeks, she was a visage you found little comfort in. Though, after today, you guessed you’d find little comfort just about anywhere else too.

#bruno buccerati #risotto nero #reader insert #female reader #sfw #bruno bucciarati x reader #risotto nero x reader #jjba #jjba au #ballet au #pas de deux #pas de deux ao3 #my writing

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silenceofthecookies · 4 years

Note

hello! I couldn't help but notice that prompt 8 was still available! Can I maybe get that with Mirio from Hero Academia? I love this man, he is made out of sunshine! Congratulations on 100 followers!

Hi there Anon! You’re not the only one who loves him, just seeing him appear ont he screen makes me smile. That’s probably why this one turned out to be the longest of all sick fics! I just started typing and... oops. You don’t mind, do you? 😉 Enjoy~!

Living as someone with a chronic disease wasn’t easy, but you made it work. Due to the medicine you had been taking all your life, as well as regular check-ups with your doctor, you got through your day mostly unaffected. The only exception was physical exercise. You could do little things at your own pace, but nothing too straining or too intense. Because of this, your childhood dream to become a hero got crushed.

It was hard on you at first, but you came to accept it and explored different fields of work. There were three people who worked hard to help you with this as a child. Two of them were your parents, of course. The third was your neighbour and childhood friend, Mirio. As kids you’d often fantasize about becoming heroes together, fighting off the baddies, protecting the innocent people,… It was a dream the both of you had, and were actively working towards.

The first step was keeping up both of your grades throughout school, and getting into UA. It was the best school for becoming a pro hero, right? And the best was exactly what the two of you were going to become. Mirio always said that your quirk was much more useful for hero work than his and that you’d make it in no problem. So it was such a shock to him when you told him you’d never make it to be a hero because of your health. He started crying when you told him, so you started crying again too, and the two of you cried together for a good while. At that moment, Mirio vowed to you he would save at least a million people, both the people he would save, and the people you would’ve saved. He’d become a hero for the both of you.

It didn’t make you grow apart in the slightest though. You still studied together, Mirio to get in UA, and you to get into your new school of choice so you could reach your new dreams as well. Even after getting into UA, you and Mirio would get together on the weekends and in the holidays to keep each other updated on your progress. You were constantly lifting each other up, and whenever someone’s spirits were down, the other would cheer them up.

The hardest period was the first half year after Mirio started attending UA. He was at the bottom of his class, and he was struggling to make anything useful out of his quirk. Sometimes he would even avoid your eyes, saying that he wasn’t sure if he could make his promise come true. Coming in last at the sport festival was probably the hardest moment for him. But after that? He kept bouncing right back, kept a positive attitude and kept on improving. His internship with Sir Nighteye definitely helped.

Now he was in his last year of UA, almost a real hero. You were still studying hard to reach your own goals, but you were on the right path as well. There was but one hurdle that you kept bumping into.

Your medicine.

No matter how many years you had already taken them, you sometimes just forgot to take them. Days where you felt fine when waking up. Days where you were too focussed on the things you were going to do. Days where you woke up too late and you had to hurry. Or days like today, a combination of all three.

Mirio had asked you out on a date. An actual, proper date. You had a crush on your blonde friend for a while now. You probably always had it, but just never realised that you loved him as more than a friend until a few years ago. You never said anything because you figured he just saw you as a friend. Apparently, he didn’t.

Just your luck, your alarm didn’t go off, or you slept right through it. Either way, you were late. Rushing to get ready and to get some form of food in as quickly as possible, you completely forgot your medicine. You almost forgot your keys as well, but remembered just in time to take them, along with your phone and wallet.

Mirio was waiting for you in front of the park. You wouldn’t really do anything new or special, just a walk in the park and some lunch together, but this time knowing it was a date, and not just hanging out as friends. It made you a little nervous, even though you knew you didn’t have to be. As you reached the park, a little out of breath, you felt something was a little off but you blamed it on having to rush this morning, and on the nerves.

“Hey, Y/N, there you are! I was worried you forgot about me.” “Oh Mirio, how could I ever forget about you? I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.” “Not at all, let’s go!”

You both started walking. Mirio and you talked about whatever came to mind, as usual. He told you some stories of things he got into with his friends, Tamaki and Nejire, and some of his work with Sir Nighteye as well. As your walk progressed, you started feeling worse and worse. When you were in the middle of the park, your legs gave out on you.

“Whoa! Y/N are you ok? Did you trip?” “No…my legs gave out on me?” “Y/N… did you take your medicine?” You looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he asked that and answered with a guilty expression. “No… I didn’t…” “Do you seriously need someone to remind you to take medicine? I’m your friend, not your father.” Despite his harsh words, Mirio’s tone wasn’t harsh at all. It was a little scolding, though it ended in him laughing. “It’d be weird if I was on a date with my father.” You laughed, and now it was Mirio’s turn to look surprised. After a few seconds of being frozen, Mirio started laughing as well. “You’re right, it would be very weird. Let’s get you back home, shall we?” Mirio hunched down in front of you, his back facing you and his arms outstretched behind him. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. “You’re… going to give me a piggyback ride?” “Would you rather have me carry you bridal style? I can do that too, you know.” Mirio grinned. “No! No way, that’d be way too embarrassing…” Still somewhat flustered, you got onto his back.

As you walked back, the situation dawned on you just a little more. Mirio had often given you piggyback rides when you were kids, but doing this on a date? It just added a new level of something to it, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Hey Mirio?” “Yes?” “Sorry for ruining the date.” “You call this ruining a date, Y/N? How come? We’re together, we’re talking, and I’m carrying you, that makes me feel like the strongest man in the world, you know?” “But… your plans…” “What do plans matter? Things rarely go according to plan. I don’t mind some surprises. I’m still having fun! Though I can imagine you aren’t really right now.” “I’m… I’m having fun too, actually.”

You said as you tightened your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Mirio chuckled and continued walking. You weren’t lying. Sure, you felt pretty bad without your medicine, but you were with Mirio. Everything became 10 times more fun when Mirio was there.

It made you wonder how much fun living together with him would be.

#mirio x reader #bnha/reader #bnha imagine #mirio imagine #togata mirio #mirio/reader #mirio reader #happy birthday mirio #bnha scenario #cookie writes #scenario #requested #anon #100 followers event #scheduled post

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